#Good experience at Starbucks. I don't know why I keep trying to go when I'm not making the drink myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

minmin-pal · 1 year ago

Note

im just gonna nab that "dead man's questions" and stick it in between watching part 4 and 5, kinda gives me vibes of like spy secrecy type stuff lol and ngl i was about to search it up automatically but i'm glad i refrained from it now. so the plot follows a character whose passed away? is it some type of flashback or maybe an 'afterlife/ghost' adventure? i don't know which or if either are right so i'm just pulling stuff outta my guessing hat lol

i might just have to accept this inevitable heartbreak either way tbh, just watching characters go on an adventure, have fun, develop and just generally live makes it very hard not to get attached though ig that just comes with the viewing experience. the 'waiting for them to bring the person back' bit is so real though, ngl i always end up forwarding and end up ruining a series for me because "when is this character getting brought back???", to the point i end up not paying attention to the rest of the series lol(/lh) though i'll make sure to not do that when watching jjba :D W series fr

and oh! you've watched naruto? you said the 'original naruto' so i'm gonna go out on a leg and assume you didn't watch Shipudden?(/genq/nf) could I ask what were your thoughts on the story (however far you got into it?) maybe like favorite/disliked characters? parts of the plot you liked and didn't, did you have any critics of the series (both manga and anime, assuming you read the manga too)? (/lh) any opinions on the legendary Sannin? generally, just your thoughts on it i suppose

and oh yeah fair fair, the intro bit i brought up since i kinda tiptoed around it when i was searching up watch guides and didn't want watch anything that might've spoiled anythin lol (may have been too careful for no reason lmao) the intro was just the first clip i saw of the actual 3d bits (i'm in the 'not know' side whether that style/model was consistent with the actual 3d used in the show tho) but wait they animated the powers n stuff to be 3d?? that's actually super cool wha (/gen)

took me a while to understand that 'death 13' was the name of the episode, and ohh it never occurred to me about the 'copyright issues' bit though i guess it's the same reason why people will always use names like '"barbucks" for a shop in their story whose icon looks awfully like Starbucks lol. i usually watch my anime subbed, though which would you suggest for this one? do you usually watch in subbed or dubbed? but eh yeah, might not matter much but still ty for the heads up! (/gen)

no but truee, the foundation parts make the lead up to the big punchy monster powers bit even more satisfying though :( and jonathan, yeah yeah! i've seen very small smidges of him here and there, i briefly consulted the wiki page of his because i wanted to find a clip of his voice without spoilers and omg he sounds so cool! :D i didn't scroll down any further down the wiki though, there weren't any "spoilers ahead!" warnings but i didn't wanna take any chances :')

oh yeah, sxf is actually a pretty good example of a 'polished' anime artstyle similar to other modern animes tbf, the sharp difference when i try to compare the two in my head made me snort a bit ngl (/lh) the style and story (from what i've seen of jjba and sxf so far at least) are so stark in contrast but they're both so good too (/gen)

twt has already shoved in my face that apparently, eren dies for mikasa or something? i'm not in the know of all the details but the shock factor is definitely eh- minimized now i suppose lol, and oh a tier list might be a fun idea if your up for it! how do you manage to keep track of the ones you've read/watched? or is it just a 'welp i'm relying on my memory for this' type thing? (/hj/lh) sxf really carrying both jjba (with no one being safe lol) and aot in terms of fluff, i feel as though i'm jinxing myself and that the ending might not be happy either but i;m crossing my fingers it is lol, and yea dw abt getting off topic, it's fun to read tangents (is that how you use the word)

mangakas favorite drink are the tears of their fans :') (/j) but props to you for managing to get the titan lore, i've seen a lot of people say it just confused the heck out of them and some said they dropped it so i hope you were able to enjoy it :D (both the series and the 'head-ache inducing' lore /hj/lh)

and yay no problem! i'll admit when i read your description of it, i tried to do the same actions? like laughing but not making any sound, i definitely looked very goofy while doing it but i remembered the term 'croak/croaking' so it was a fruitful endeavor :D (/j/lh) i apologize for the tmi ;')

"Chainsaw Man is a character-driven story that manages to conclude itself in 97 chapters, and its due to the author focusing on the main characters and its themes," i didn't think it could be explained so simply in word form but that actually does make sense. "All the battle shounen stuff is just being used a medium to tell the actual story, it's not the story itself." just this description alone summarizes it well i'm assuming and now that i think about it, really makes csm stand out tbh. Almost all anime i can name off the top of my head (action/battle genre ofc) really does focus on "different states and nations all preparing to fight one another for [ cue overarching plot point ]." Character development and personal introspection don't tend to be the top priority, well aside from the 'shonen mc moments' such as ya know- tanjiro, izuku, etc.? (/lh) or from what i can gather at least lol

but honestly, i didn't know csm concluded at 97 chapters! the fact the author was able to just- start it, do what he wanted to do and end it as planned (or at least i'm assuming? i haven't seen any articles with the clickbait tagline of "csm creator dislikes/isn't happy about [ ... ]!") it got pretty popular too so that's awesome to hear, and yea true actually, i can see you and other people like denji and the fact that both the "Mineta Minoru is Expelled from U.A. High School/Shinsou Hitoshi Replaces Mineta Minoru" tags on ao3 collectively have over 5.8k fics says enough lol

spy was definitely a very wholesome show and it's just so, so nice to watch the family dynamic form and grow<3 dunno why but i liked how they were able to incorporate bits of yor and loid's profession into their parenting styles what with yor helping to cause the iconic damian scene and loid with attempting to sneak in to change anya's grade lol, but oh! what's your thoughts on franky? ngl i kinda love all the goofy stuff he pulls and gets twilight to do lol, but yeah tbh yuri's bit of being secret police and his scenes with anya are some of the only highlights of his char i remember when watching ;; (/lh) obsessive brother still kinda shocks me with how it's pretty prevalent as a trope tbh but also what's your thoughts on bond? also what was your favorite and maybe least liked episode or mayb chapter of sxf?

it's been a bit since i found the site but i can binge all the chaps now so heads up an ask abt that in a few hours :D (/lh/gen) your so right about that thoo, having characters that could just be irrevocably bad people can be done but managing to make them appealing/getting the readers to feel for them is such a sign of being a good writer, but also yeah managing to cause your readers pain thru them is to be applauded too lol (mangaka's really do enjoy their reader's pain /j/lh)

how have all the scenes you've shown be so pretty, my brain would assume it's just specific detailed scenes but i have the very sneaking suspicion that the whole manga is styled like this and i'm very much looking forward to it, even if i covered her facial expression her hair swaying and clothing ripples(is that what u call it) somehow portrays emotion so well, how even? (/lh/pos)

i was confused on who 'nameless white-haired guy' was until i read the next sentence and i just went "ah" lol, and oh kinda sucks he got gassed too much but damn that personality is just yikes lol (from what i've seen of the one scene ofc) and oh there'a dif other guy? in about 30 minutes i'll see this hoodie dude so i'll end up finding out, i know he won't be 'as bad' but i'm looking forward to seeing how bad? uhm, basically looking forward to the chapter, hope that made sense or the sentiment at least got across lol, and yea no worries i'm reading your response at the same time so there might be dead ends/random tangents in mine that i didn't notice so- sorry about that :')

And ah yea that makes sense, I'd actually be pretty surprised if you were able to remember specific little details but glad to hear you enjoyed it :D the analogy of 'cramming before a test' hit me on a personal level lol (/hj) and oh, was nijimiya the girl mc? she really does seem like a sweetheart and help I never knew she had a younger sister, that's super cool! And yeah! The dude's character development was nice to watch too but alas ofc, tears lol

I remember reading 'Kichikujima (Freak Island)' quite a while ago, I remember it's pretty gorey though I don't know if it qualified as phycological horror? Don't remember too many details so I may be wrong, but oh yeah! I don't know for sure if you were reffering to these types but I kind of made some terms for it lol, idk they're pretty simple labels

Jumpscare Horror - self explanatory, there's a lot of jumpscares and "dun dun dunn" type music/scenes right before the jumpscare.

Gore Horror - I assume this is where kichikujima falls into? Typically, zombie and slasher movies fall into this one lol

Phycological Horror - what you just described :D and ngl ig the name for this one is self explanatory enough lol

I haven't met many people that actually enjoy phycological horror, what's oyasumi punpun if you don't mind me asking? I'm mildly familiar with junji ito's works, i only ever watched vids that dubbed over it tbh but is uzumaki the swirly one? Lackluster description ;; but I'm assuming that's the one, I also heard there was an anime about junji ito's work(s)? Have you seen it? If ya did, what were your thoughts on it? Ohh have you already watched neon genesis? I don't see many people talking about that anymore, what'd you think of it? Seeing your summary of your taste for manga/anime/etc., have you heard of dororo? I only ever watched the anime so I'm not sure whether you'd enjoy it or not, but it's one of the things that come to mind when I think of things that are 'depressing at their core' (/lh)

Figured they'd be under the isekai category tbh, the dif labels just confused me for a bit lol and yeah makes sense it'd depend on the story itself, blue lock is that one popular sports anime recently isn't it? Tbf it's been a hot minute since shield hero gained much media attention as it did before so I don't imagine much talk about it could've been going around lol

Very valid reasoning ngl TT always a genuine whiplash whenever you compare the male and female character designs, the 'probably do not see people of the preferred sex at all' comment both made me cackle and makes a lot of sense lol, the manga started at 1997 and since it's a 'weekly title', technically a chapter comes out every week, I assume that doesn't leave much time for socialization? I dunno but doing this for close to 3 decades, you'd think some actual body diversity or dif styling would be developed as the story progressed but- how did it seriously evolve backwards? This is biologically impossible??(/hj/lh)

I remember a review video I watched citing the author's response as basically saying the target demographic is teen boys anyways? I need to find the video but I'm definitely sure that was the gist of the first bit of his response, it's as if his made unique and customized molds for all of the male characters while using the singular body mold fkr every single one of the female characters ;; the fact he prolly just chooses not to is def a massive let down tbh :')

While scrolling down, my eyes instantly went to the pic so I went "Miles :D!" then woah second pic jumpscared me real bad lol, when you said you had an example in mind I didn't think it'd be such a good example yikes, the longer I look at the artwork the more I understand your point, it's making- a lot of sense, the "you can tell a lot about someone by the way they draw" part is true tbh, this whole bit is just giving me the icks ;;

But ahh, I'll be reading the killer in love manga now :D also very sorry for answering so late, I know it isn't compulsory or anything but really just have my sincerest apologies ;; /gen/pos

And yay alright, I'll try to switch it up sometime for variety lol, minjae, d'you have any that you prefer or prefer not to use?

I watched the outro as it's own clip and I swear the meme was scratching my brain since it seemed so familiar, I'm questioning how'd it even turn into that meme lol, did it take you a while to find out?

(may contain some grammar/spelling errors, srry abt that)

HI!!! :grin: aot spoilers and..... just walls of text under the cut i didnt answer some stuff since there really wasnt anything for me to add of worth-- i read everything though dw

you should read deadmans questions right after thus spoke rohan kishibe (which i forgot to mention is technically a prequel- i shouldve said that.. u watch it after tho cuz its only rlly fun if youve watched rohan throughout part 4 already) i think- (so between 4 and 5 as you said) i cant really... tell you without sorta ruining it so u just have to wait and see. i can say its like.. not the same person he was when she was alive (im messin up their prns on purpose. for extra concealing) and theyre kinda like trying to become happy by doing.. assasinations.. :grin:

my one piece of character death-related advice is to not expect their return in this series. like once theyre dead theyre dead basically would advise to not forward aswell- going backwards fine :grin:

yes ive watched the first naruto it didnt end on a bad note or anything, and i started shippuden and he was suddenly like fucking 16 so i put it on the backburner (for whats been... 4 years now.. i dont think ill get to it ever honestly naruto was fire though. when he would transform into that.. posessed fox form i ALWAYS had to rewind and watch the scene again. idk if its top 3 anime :grimacing: like people say but its not a bad show either (i watched it instead of reading it cuz it was Free) for characters i LOVED naruto. ofc i did hes the mc but like hes such a cool kid honestly. the kinda kid everyones friends with in primary school (apart from in show). the entire main gang was great but naruto and kakashi were my top 2 .. and gaara now that i remember him i liked him more than naruto when i watched it tbh-- he was just so angry and emo and fine ive matured past the age of calling fictional characters attractive but when i was 11 i was in love with him honestly heavily disliked sasuke. which is ironic cuz i hated him for the reason i loved gaara he was so angry and emo all the time-- but he hurt naruto with his edginess (technically gaara did too but i excuse it.) also he was just being a bit of a asshole. like anime rival esque asshole but an asshole nontheless this is getting long so i'll get to the show itself honestly. because its been so long i cant remember what i really disliked the stuff that i can remember are just dumb stuff that all older animes do i guess all the "sexy-jutsu" stuff were kinda off-putting plus jiraiya as a whole. i loved him but damn he was WEIRD i had to google what the sannin were cuz i genuinely forgot-- but i think theyre cool jiraiya is a bit icky, the blonde one (forgot her name) was pretty funny- i liked her dynamic with sakura and orochimaru i think his name was; was so cool. his entire look influenced who i am today i owe it all to him /hj

death 13 is both the episode name and the ability name of the person in that episode and- id wholeheartedly recommend subbed for jjba a LOT of the jokes only work cuz its japanese, aswell as the emotions in scenes personally i dont like dubs since i find that its usually more "colorful" in its original form (for that reason i generally cannot watch korean dubs of animes.. they just throw me off ever-so-slightly

jonathan looks better in the anime than the manga to me, but this is mainly because i dont really like anime characters with muscles as big as. uh.

the hercules-corona borealis great wall :grin: and in the anime they werent as ginourmous its a REALLY good thing arakis art style did not stay the same for the entire series honestly picturing the later characters drawn the way the first parts were drawn is honestly whiplash-inducing

(NOT AN OFFICIAL DESIGN. PART 5 CHARACTER IN PART 1 STYLE)

you really cant compare the jojo artstyle with sxf (probably because of all the muscles + how "harsh" jojo's shading is, and the personality in both styles)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by commission opened [SEMI HIATUS] (@raatha2909)

instagram

this is the best thing i could find ^ and honestly it looks cool as hell- the artist is really talented but with the art style i just cant envision it would be as lighthearted as sxf is it carries its own vibe to it

if youve already heard that eren dies it wont pack as hard of a punch (the punch being that THE main character died) but it will still tug on your heartstrings, if you dont know the specifics. i wont say its for mikasa, but more for everyone really eren. is honestly a result of knowing too much thats what i love about aot really.. theres no bad guys other than the big man eating monsters, but even those monsters arent truly bad everyones doing what they have to do, and thats most evident in eren once you sit down and absorb the lore its gutwrenching for remembering what i watched... i honestly have no way of tracking it. theres been a good few times i watched a show, and then realized id finished it already i probably shouldve done that, but theres no point to it now so i just use memory (which honestly shows if a show is good or not-- theres a lot of shows i immediately think of despite having watched them 3 years ago/ ex: death note, erased, jjba, and school live) (and yes thats the correct way to use the way tangents)

thats whats great about csm its not just ur average battle shounen, and its battling is second to its characters whenever i see debates abut goku vs naruto and such its just like the main thing anyone got from the series was the fights (which is fully valid) but like.. there usually isnt much character depth this is usually combatted by making the characters one character trait- something that csm flips over idk what im on about. its 11 pm and i havent slept in 2 days im so sorry if this comes off weirdly written

csm was a really short read and im so happy about that since as you said, fujimoto did what he wanted, finished, and was satisfied with it hes also working on csm part 2- which is not from denjis pov it has a whole different protagonist ive heard, and takes place somewhere else i wont be reading it, since i dont want to start anything i cant finish, but i do push you to once youve finished jojo/killer in love/ other things you feel like reading

it is really nice that yor/loidś work influenced the way they parent (esp with how yor tried to teach anya to defend herself from bullies) franky was a fun character- i liked his disguises he got from loid

bnd is cute i dont really have anything to say about him.. the whole looking into the future thing is cool though my favorite chapter has to be the one where loid is convinced yor is upset with him so he takes her to a bunch of different places.. but she was just in pain after a mission bad explanation but you get the memo i hope

i wouldnt say ALL scenes are the exact same quality as everything ive been showing, but everything is generally *really* pretty

^that was a generally regular scene, so thats just how the art is as a default its really beautiful (also that guy with white hair is the arata i mentioned-- he isnt bad in comparison to all the other ¨bad" characters.. hes just sorta a prick)

i honestly,,,.... shouldnt have said hoodie guy isnt as bad hes really bad but morally speaking white hair guy is even worse so he isnt as bad, but he isnt tame either, esp later on all your points are getting across just fine btw :grin:

i havent read kichijuma before, but i searched it up and it honestly looks really cool like really cool it has 24 volumes from what i read though so i dont think ill check it out

of the three you mentioned, i dont like jumpscare horror its just lazy same with gore horror if thats all there is to it i dont really enjoy horror mangas/animes much in general minus a select few, but for games im all for them (chillaś art's stuff is great) people i think don't like psychological horror because its more of a thing that gets to you (?) in contrast to with jumpscares or something, that it hits you and youre scared and thats sorta that you dont really shriek in fear over psychological horror, which is what some people look for in horror (yes uzumaki is the swirly one) oyasumi punpun,... is... about punpun and him traversing life (him and his family are drawn as birds. everyone else is drawn normally. he is human) i would usher you to check it out yourself :thumbsup:

also- i started dororo, but i never finished it i probably should tonight since i cant sleep ill tell you how i feel about it if i get to it (no promises though)

i get the one piece demographic is manga loving teenage boys but i guess its just dissapointing that he just... chooses not to put effort into his female characters

im so sorry :sob: i saw it on twitter afterwards and i immediately remembered what id said before it was the best example ever (and have fun with killer in love tell me all about how you felt about it :pray: )

i dont rlly mind any variation whatever u feel like

last but not least when i heard the outro music it took like 3 seconds for me to realize what it was afterwards my world was just flipped by its head (the typos are fien i made evern mroe) (and sorry this took me a minute i kept responding then drafting it then editing then drafting it again)

#min-pal.asks #mikey 🍮

2 notes · View notes

ivyblossom · 5 months ago

Text

I have some additions and corrections to add to this.

First off:

"Tell me about yourself."

This is a terrible interview question and I am side-eyeing any hiring manager who asks it. If the hiring manager is a dick, it might be a way to get you to disclose things they can't legally ask you.

Things to never disclose:

your age

your religion (or lack thereof)

your marital status or partner (straight people talk about their spouses at great length and detail in interviews, in my experience)

your living arrangements

your family relationships

Debt or financial situation generally (including student loans)

Your sexuality (sorry, as a lesbian I empathize and see the need for openness and freedom, but if they're asking this question they might be dicks, don't risk it)

whether or not you have children

whether or not you are pregnant, or are trying to get pregnant

any disabilities, health issues, or mental health issues

whether or not you own a car or know how to drive a car, if not relevant to the job

If they aren't assholes trying to get you to disclose information they aren't entitled to and they're asking this question thoughtlessly, what they're doing is trying to break the ice and give you a warm up question, but the answer doesn't really count unless you say something disqualifying, like "I like to edit video from my hidden staff bathroom cams".

Don't reiterate what's on your resume. They have your resume in front of them. If that makes you nervous, say upfront that you're not going to reiterate your resume since they have that already. This question is a request for information about you that makes them feel like they're getting to know you. Like a bio on a social media profile.

They aren't entitled to information about you personally, so I would turn to the non-relevant parts of your history that don't make it to your resume but highlight your skills and qualities, and adds personality to you as a candidate. Stuff like "I'm from X city (only if this isn't a nightmare minefield, it sometimes is), I used to be a competitive diver, I taught myself Python for fun, I have a degree in X, I focused on Xa sub-topic, I volunteer at X Film Festival and I love cinema, I worked at a Starbucks in high school and find that experience surprisingly relevant in almost every job I've had since, and I'm happy to meet you today."

I'd write notes for this kind of mini bio ahead, frankly. That's always going to come in handy for the rest of your life. Mainly what results of these kinds of answers is that you demonstrate that you can manage small talk. It's a stupid question, I wouldn't ask it.

As with an exam, when you get asked a question, answer the question. They want to know about you? Tell them about yourself. On your terms. Just keep it short.

"Why are you interested in this company/position"

The reason they're asking this question is that they want to see if you understand where you are and what the job is. Did you read the job description? Do you look at their website? Did you prepare for this interview?

I can't tell you how many times a candidate will fail to answer this question and will just default to talking how they think they're a good fit for the role without ever giving any indication that they know what the role actually is. I've seen people do this when their skills and experience aren't even close to a match. That might feel safe, but it doesn't help you. They're not asking why they should be interested in you: they want to know what you are interested in this role. So answer that question.

People often think this is a good place to say something like "I hear this is a great workplace!" If it's actually true certainly say so with a specific example of how you've heard it's great, but saying it to sound flattering just lands like a lie. It's enough to say that this kind of work is what you want to do next, and some part of the role is an area you want to grow in. You are demonstrating that you understand what the role is and you know which org you're interviewing with.

I have seen candidates say that they applied for a role because they really want to do X when there is no X in the job whatsoever. Doing X in the job would be not doing the job. This is why this question exists: show the committee that you understand what the job is.

I would always default to talking about what interests in you that particular role rather than the org. It's specific, and it doesn't telegraph that you intend to get into the org and then move around to a different position as soon as you can.

If the role is exactly the same as one you've done before, in the same industry and unit but with a different company, you're going to have to explain why the move. It could just be "ready to try something new/meet new people", but most roles have something different you can point to, so lean on that. You can say that tasks a, b, and c are areas of strength for you with these novel differences (a, b, c). "This is a lot closer to where I live and I'd like to be able to come into the office regularly" is a damn fine reason to jump orgs, and I think most employers would be thrilled to hear if someone is willing to be on site.

If there are brand new tasks in the job description, that's easy: point to those and say, "these are areas I've had limited opportunities with so far, but I've enjoyed this kind of work in the past, and I want to do more of it." These all answer the why question specifically without making you perform a fake dedication to their mission statement.

"What are you looking for in a new position"

I disagree with the advice to answer with what they brag about. This is another attempt to see whether you actually read the job description, and whether you understand the differences between this job and your past experience: presumably you applied for this job because there's something in it you're willing to do for money, so tell them what that is.

Pinpoint pieces of the job description and talk about how that work in particular is something you want to continue to develop your skills in. Is there some supervisory work there? Great: I want to get more supervisory experience. Project management? Working with the public? Or something like, "in my current role I'm limited to working within my own unit, but I can see in this role that there's a requirement to reach beyond that and collaborate with a lot of other units regularly, and I really like that, it sounds it a lot more varied." It's specific, not blowing smoke, and it say something positive about you.

"Tell me about a time when you had a problem with a co-worker"

I could not disagree more with the answer suggested here: "tell me about a time when there was a minor, non-offensive disagreement with co-worker that you resolved quickly in a positive way".

If you answer like that, what I will glean from your answer is that you lack experience facing genuine workplace conflict, or you aren't comfortable acknowledging your mistakes, both of which are red flags.

I saw a candidate once describe a conflict between other staff members where it was pretty clear that the candidate had actually caused the conflict. It would have been a perfect example to share, an A+ answer if she had pointed out that her actions had inadvertently created the conflict, how she stepped in and acknowledged that, apologized, and worked with them to resolve it. But she thought she was just an observer, demonstrating that her judgement and self-awareness were poor.

Stories where someone else is being dick and you were just standing there putting up with it make you look like an asshole and a bad colleague, because you are characterizing a co-worker as an objective dick, demonstrating zero empathy or curiosity for their motives or context. Objective dicks definitely exist, but they aren't great examples for answers like this. Pick something where you thought you were doing something helpful for colleagues you respect, but then your actions had side effects you didn't see coming and caused conflict, and talk about how you how took responsibility for your contribution to the conflict and learned from it.

It might seem counterintuitive, but one of the fastest ways to get people to trust you is to tell them you fucked up. They don't think, "oh, no, here's a person who fucks up!" Everyone fucks up. What they actually think is, "oh, here's a person who recognizes when they fuck up, will tell me about it, and takes responsibility for fixing it. Cool."

"Tell me about the latest project you worked on"

This is a silly question too. I'd offer a short description the latest project and if it's not relevant enough, I'd offer another one to tell them about and let them choose. but that's a good opportunity to talk about a project and point out a thing you learned that you're taking with you. Like, "latest project is X, we learned halfway through that we left out a relevant partner who gave us some feedback that completely changed the project for the better, that was a good reminder to make sure we know who all the relevant partners are and consult thoroughly before getting started on building." "Tell me about a project" is not good interview question guidance, but you can shape it to share that you're a person who is curious, intelligent, and that you are always learning and growing.

Always come prepared with 3 questions for them. Not having questions is a red flag. My personal favourite is confrontational, so use it at your own risk: I ask where they think I would struggle in this role. It gives me an opportunity to address any concerns they have directly. I agree that "what does a typical day look like" is a great question. Common is "what do you like best about working here?" which is non-threatening most of the time.

Go get that job!

#job interviews

136K notes · View notes

scentedchildnacho · 2 months ago

Text

Path of life staff told us a tent in the city would get us cop beat up and arrested then forced to validate the comment admitted he is a creepy private Christian and has never been to jail to say things in a flippant glib verbally abusive way

Its a private kid they deal with things clinically

Your going to have to go to the doctor if you won't stop being a weirdo that can't actually manage a behavioural situation

Electro shock your head into weird shapes it's very excruciating to avoid jail sentencing

I know it's a Guadalupe and women can be persecuted like Christ now and you don't have to have any responsibility for what ya done

I don't know about cops but it's been my experience about police violence that violence in my life from people wearing police uniforms were illegals......the police otherwise I'm not with their organization and don't know anything about their internment

They may have been more mafia types or unelecteds

I do notice violence starts to people who start treating their internment in glib humorous ways.....they have to be in the jail and they don't appreciate people who don't take their condition holocaust serious

Chinatown if they made up this fictitious company the youth would do these extraordinary things

Its all just a film

He then admitted he isn't with any government agency to be making statements he does

I like Michael ondaatje.....the kidd though was truly no good....so I also notice police are hired like asylum lobotomy victims to go at an organized crime till it's gone that though has to be weeded out

I don't know about white Africans here but it appears that white africanism in southern situations like Mississippi and Alabama are still the evils black people have complained about

And Gloria Steinem and contradiction in white theory those whites of multicultural origin are the sex slaves so it's having to be blamed for africans like Elon musk

Homosexuality my African homo other that was suppose to be like a migrational privilege that I could acclimate to appears to claim I did things it did

Elon musk though from South Africa does come off like a Russian cliche he is near some type of original computer study for his charm but as a corporate entity has no understanding of the home white cultures he references the social home and corporate are two very different cultures

Simm theory or George simmel Chicago sociology on Elon musk look at this insecure confused and defeated ego if made to truly live what white people have to do for schools here

The Africans may have next generation genetic testing so Zelda Fitzgerald I think they continue to slave other whites so we don't die of assuming privilege

This woman in natchez Mississippi told me I have a homo Caucasian who sent her to a back stab that leached out a lot of fluid around her lungs.....and this clinic not brought to justice keeps claiming I'm this creepy clinic secretary

Their Caucasians that's why we can't ever admit Starbucks is over and do new things

The Same I think white corporatists use to be Quebec.....and that was too murderous and now Africans are here to destroy it

Apartheid a Marian was seen in 1951 in South Africa and 1950s africanism appears to still influance slaughter of unprotected Christians

If your not with them then

People may attack Elon musk a lot

I've also found out times I thought cops were kind of harsh to me weren't actually about trying to arrest me but explain like this deaf boy whose mother slaughtered him in northern minnesota that if I won't stop bothering my staff that is suppose to labor me legally my owner will kill me

And that's when my owner wanted me to walk around eating fast food without a proper eye appointment and kept getting more hostile to me the more police had to confront them about it

Aids and COVID because boys are often the most extreme example of this Holocaust

I guess Chinatown areas use to be Italian areas so that's why hospitality was shown to Jews and Irish it was creepy apparently to expect habits or orientation to change quickly

1965 but they could bring indigenous peoples back from Asia and they would improve resource exchange to Europe

0 notes

litterednglitter · 1 year ago

Text

It's been a while since my last post so here I go. A couple of new things have happened. like ill be starting a new job with a different robot-taxi company. That is correct folks I no longer work at Waymo. To be honest I'm in the middle of suing them for the wrong term but that's a whole other story I won't get into. So I'm starting my new career on the 17th which is about 2 weeks from now.

I can't wait! I'll be installing the tech into these cars to be able to make them drive themselves! I know after when I gain some experience ill be able to go anywhere with it. Most likely down south! Where they throw bitchin' 4th of July parties. They have more firework stand than SF has Starbucks. Now you know that's gonna be a party!

My main places are South Carolina, Georgia, and Florida. I might just throw in Arizona mainly because it's Awesome! I ain't gonna deny that. Reality just set in so I know my time in the Bay Area is timed. There is nothing that I can do about it.

On another note, I'm looking into becoming a stand-up comedian. When it comes to storytelling, In my mind, I think I am awesome. However, in reality, I may not be. That's why I'll be animating it all out. As some of you don't know or may IDK, I'm an artist. More specially, Im a 3D Animator and Visual Effects artist, and recently I've been got into 2D animation. I'll try to animate my stories in Toon Boom. Then use Abode After Effects to place the Finishing touches.

So, with that being said I will be launching a Youtube Channel called LitteredN'Glitter. Already have taken the name Youtube. Now, I just need to place some content in it. Making an intro is really hard. Not only I will most likely be needed help with the writing but mental health right after it. I want to make my intro as good as Flashes intro with the whole "Hi, My name is Berry Allen" deal. But I don't think that's going to happen. I only got 3 sentences down. Perhaps I should just stick with the whole Gravy Falls vibe and see how that goes. But I also suck at making music.

Ill keep you guys posted.

#Dear gentle readers #work work work #dear diary

0 notes

smallhomemaker · 2 years ago

Text

A Homemakers Intro

My name is Jess and I live in a filthy home. For now.

I am a newbie homemaker, and thought that having a blog of some sort to share my experience and hopefully inspire others who live like me to do better.

And keep me on the right track, of course.

I am a mother of a 10 month old son, and am 5 months pregnant. Before I had my child, I lived in a filthy home. I admit that I am lazy, I absolutely hate cleaning, especially the dishes. I mean all that yucky left over food and mushiness?

No thank you!

However, guilt and embarrassment is forcing me to do something about it.

My baby daddy works a long and physical job. He comes home exhausted and in pain and I feel so guilty because he comes home to a dirty and stinky home with no food made for him. On his days off, I feel even worse when he's the one cleaning. Sometimes we even order out because our kitchen is so dirty that we can't do anything inside it.

It's gotten so bad that he has said that I have stopped caring. And I didn't want to admit it to myself but I had. With postpartum depression and little to no contact with other people (I am very antisocial and it is no fault but my own) it has taken a toll. I've stopped taking care of myself.

As in I would not shower for a week or two, stopped putting on makeup so my self esteem shot way down.

I was and probably still am in a very bad place of mind.

I hated when people came over because my home stunk of spoiled food and dogs. I hated that people saw how I and my family lived.

So with these feelings, I started searching for help on the internet. I found out about homemaking, and cleaning routines, and bullet journals on how to track life. All of these are helping me to be and do better.

The things I found that kept me from improving myself and my surroundings are laziness, lack of self discipline, and worst of all, my phone.

I am ashamed to be addicted to my phone. I use it 24/7. I am always reading, using social media and playing games. I am so addicted to it that I subconsciously bring it with me everywhere. Need to go to the bathroom? I bring it with me. Want to take a bath? I use it there too. I am never without it.

It's bad.

But I've found ways to avoid or help these things.

Why am I so lazy? I lack energy. I am too tired to do anything. It's not because of a lack of sleep. I get a full 8+ hours of sleep everyday, what with napping with my son and all. So how can I increase my energy?

I've taken to coffee. Now, I know most if not all people are like, duh! And I felt that way too.

I used to hate coffee. I hated the taste, it always made me go to the bathroom. And I would only drink starbucks but that is mostly sugar and little coffee. So I avoided coffee like it was a plaque. It was just a no for me. But if I really wanted to make a change, then I was going to have to change that.

So I tried it out. I made a pot of coffee and figured out how much milk and sugar I needed for it to appeal to me, and the energy it gave me made a huge difference that I was shocked.

I didn't want to sit around and read all day. I wanted to move.

So that is what I did. I got up and picked up trash. I did a load of dishes. I vacuumed my carpet. And then I was like what the heck is this magicness???

But after a day of doing that, I would go back to my old routine of doing absolutely nothing because I had felt so accomplished for doing that, that I felt like I deserved a day off.

If you are face palming, good because I am too. This was how my thinking worked, I don't do anything so doing this one day is great. And while that is true, I took advantage of it.

I shouldn't have, because that gave me an excuse to do nothing once more when I'm trying to break out of that habit.

So I took to podcasts and pinterest to help motivate me. But after hearing a certain podcast by a woman, I learned that motivation isn't something I want to lean on.

Because all Motivation is, is being in the right mood to do something. And what if I'm not in the mood to clean when I need to?

I won't do it.

Self discipline however, is doing what you need to do even when you don't want to.

But I won't discard motivation completely. I'll use it to my advantage.

What motivates me to do these things? At first I would say watching other people clean. And seeing how nice their homes are. Because I want my home to be clean too.

I would say finding things on pinterest about homemaking and cleaning. But those are all external forces and will only get me so far.

I need some internal forces to motivate me. To give me purpose.

So I look towards my baby daddy. I think about how hard he works, how tired he is when he gets home. And I think wouldn't it be nice for him to come home and not worry about the state of it? Wouldn't it be nice for him to not have to worry about cleaning?

And then I look at my baby boy. Wouldn't it be nice for him to crawl around the floor because it's actually been vacuumed and washed? Wouldn't it be nice for him to sit in his walker because the cloth is washed and not dirty anymore?

And most importantly I think of myself. Wouldn't it be nice to try? To boost my confidence once more by taking an hour to wake up early to put makeup on? To take care of my hygiene and dress up a little? Wouldn't it be nice to take the strain off of my boyfriend's shoulders? Wouldn't it be great to have less tension in our relationship because he would think that I do care?

So even when I don't feel motivated to do what I'm supposed to, I look and think of my internal muses, and I force myself to do it.

Simply because I need to, and I need to for them and for myself.

However, doing all this feels like work. And everyone hates work. It doesn't make me want to do it. So, I would feel miserable while doing it and I don't want to feel like that. So I use bullet journaling, and dressing up, and music to help make it more fun.

With bullet journaling, I can organise and create routines. I can track my progress and either reward myself or give myself consequences. So I created a cleaning routine for Daily chores, weekly chores, and monthly chores.

For example, daily I need to: Load and unload the dishwasher, take out the trash and vacuum my floor.

Dressing up will make me feel better about myself. And when I feel good about myself, I'll want to do more to make me feel like this. And having a clean home will make me feel like I have a purpose of keeping it clean. And not just do nothing with my life.

And who doesn't love music? You can sing along as you clean, and even dance.

When I first started, I felt overwhelmed because it seemed like a lot. How am I supposed to care for myself, my family, my pets, keep my house clean, cook, and have time for myself without feeling exhausted?? I was so overwhelmed that I kept giving up.

Seeing all these moms not only caring for their home but working full time jobs, all I kept thinking is HOW? How are they doing this??

One is coffee. Duh. You need energy to do it all. Two, is to not overextend yourself and do everything too fast. Then you'll burn out and have to start over because you gave up. Three, is one day at a time. Take it slow. Create projects and go through them one by one until it's all done.

Yes it is all overwhelming, but if you take it slow with one thing at a time, you'll see the results you're aiming for, and will feel great about it!

#homemaker #cleaning #sahmlife #bullet journal #home maker #self care

1 note · View note

medicallyinevitable · 4 years ago

Text

Medically Inevitable

Chapter 15:- Hopeful Happenings

Characters:- Arielle Valentine, Ethan Ramsey, Ines Delarosa, Kyra Santana

Pairing:- Ethan Ramsey x Arielle Valentine

Warnings:- Slight mentions of cancer

Word Count:- 1700+ words :)

General PoV:-

As the sun shines bright in the late morning, Arielle parks her car and heads straight towards Edenbrook’s locker room, a to-go cup in hand from Starbucks instead of Derry Roasters not wanting any chance to bump into Dr. Ramsey, despite knowing that he’s her boss. Making her way to the nurses’ station, she picks up her charts and textbooks and heads toward the cafeteria.

Arielle’s PoV:-

You keep at your textbooks, scouring the pages for anything that could explain Nigel's symptoms, and the tidal wave of self-doubt doesn’t help either. You let out a sigh, "Maybe Dr. Ramsey's right. Maybe I really don't belong here..."

"Mind if I join you?" A cheery voice snaps you back to reality.

You turn around to find Kyra. Dread fills in you as you see her. "Kyra, what are you doing here? Is your cancer back? Is something wrong?", you start asking.

"Woah! Dial down the doom and gloom there, Dr. Sob Emoji. I'm in remission." Kyra beams.

"What?! Oh my god congratulations! I’m so happy for you!" You envelope her in a warm hug which almost melts all your tension away.

"Just had another check-up. Will be coming a lot for those," she catches you up with her remission plan as you two sit. "No offense but I definitely look in better shape than you!"

"Ugh I know. I'm exhausted.” And just like that, all the tension fills your mind as you give her the details. " My shift ended like five hours ago, but instead of going home I am sitting here and reading till my eyes bleed."

"You should probably get that looked at." Kyra's face morphs into something serious but genuine as she continues.

"Look, I don't want to be that cancer survivor… but it did make me realize that life is too short." You give her a sad smile knowing how painful it must have been for her.

"We only get so many chances you know? But maybe you need that lesson more than I do," she continues after pausing for a moment.

"Is it that obvious?" You raise your brows.

"Let's chalk it up to my incredible intuition." Kyra smiles," Anyways there's an amazing ice cream shop nearby. They make an triple chocolate gelato that's literally to die for," she jokes, " You can take my word for that." "Why don't we visit that place? It'll give you a distraction and a much needed break."

You look at her and then your textbooks, not understanding what to do. All you can see is blurry lines. the words and concepts swim around in your very exhausted brain. You close the textbook with a slam after your answer is crystal clear.

"How can I say no to chocolate gelato!", you say dramatically.

"That's more like it!", Kyra beams. The two of you collect your belongings and make your way out as you tell Kyra everything about the dilemma with your latest patient.

"This place is pretty cute.", you say as you look around.

"Try nauseatingly adorable. I want to make it tiny and keep it in my bookshelf," Kyra replies. You laugh.

"You collect tiny shops?" You ask as the two of you made your way to the counter.

"I collect many sickeningly adorable things," she laughs before turning her attention to the boy behind the counter. "I’ll have the large Death by Chocolate please. And my absurdly attractive friend here will have…”, she nods for you to continue.

You roll your eyes at her before placing your order. You take a look at their menu before deciding to have the same one as Kyra as it's the most chocolatey one.

“I'll have the same.", you smile at the server.

The server scoops your gelato into two big cups and slides them across the counter while Kyra rummages through her bag for her wallet.

"I'll pay.“, you say getting your card out.

"No way!", she stops you by swiftly taking your card from you. You whine but to your dismay she doesn’t budge.

"This was my idea. Besides I didn't get out much during recovery. I've got months of dining-out budget to blow."

The next minute she's handing the cash to the server and then guiding you to a booth. As you two take your seats, Kyra hands you your card.

She takes a spoon full of her Death by Chocolate and sighs blissfully.

“Mmmmmm…”

You smile at her antics. "That good?" You ask before taking a bite.

"Orgasmic. I never used to eat junk food before my diagnosis."

She takes another bite and you take your first. You can't help but let out a moan as the chocolatey silkiness melts on your tongue. Kyra smirks and gives you a smug look.

She then continues, "I was super into exercising and calorie counting. I never did anything I wasn't supposed to." She smiles sadly. "And I still got lung cancer. At my twenties!"

"You must have been so strong!", you reply.

"Everyone keeps saying that but-", she pauses, "I don't know. I just went to the doctor to see why I was breathing weird."

She sighs. "Then suddenly I was going for all these tests, and then I had cancer."

She laughs humorlessly. "Life went from jogging and juice every morning to chemo and puking."

You can almost feel the pain as she speaks about her experiences even when you’re aware you’ll never truly understand.

"But I didn't do anything," she says, " Those things had to happen , and I had good insurance, so I did them. And it's not like I had any alternative."

"I think you should give yourself more credit.”, you reach for her hand and squeeze it in a comforting manner.

"You faced death with a smile on your face. I'll always remember you cracking jokes on the way to surgery-", you stop for a second before adding,"You are the strongest person I know Kyra."

Kyra blushes, a little embarrassed. "Well you can laugh or you can cry and I chose to laugh.”, she shrugs with a smile on her face.

"And like I said, I don't want to be that cancer survivor but it does put certain things into perspective."

"That kind of clarity must be nice.", you reply.

"Well yeah, you have to get some kind of consolation price for nearly dying, right?" She then shakes her head.

”But enough about that. If we keep talking about this you'll always see me as a girl who beat cancer."

"I'll never, Kyra." you say truthfully. "That's not how I see you."

"Oh yeah? And how do you exactly see me?" She asks playfully.

"I think you are inspiring."

A blush creeps on her face as she’s caught off guard, but quickly retaliates with a sassy reply. “If you keep giving me compliments then I’ll never let you hear the end of it.”

“We’ll see about that.” You both dissolve into fits of laughter as Kyra fills you up on the hospital gossip...

“What wait?! Seriously?! I can’t believe it!”

“Me either, but you know how gossip is!”, she replies with a shrug.

Just then your phone chimes. You pull it out to see it’s a reminder for your shift.

“Crap, I have 10 minutes till my shift.”

“Oof, you better hurry!”, she replies.

“We should do this again, this was really nice.”, you say as you gather your things.

“We should! Besides there would have to be 12 different things wrong with someone to turn down Gelato!”, she jokes.

“..12 different things wrong….. oh my god, Kyra, you’re a genius!”

You scramble to your feet and quickly throw away your cup.

“I like to think I am but what did I do?”, she asks.

“I’ll explain later!”, you yell.

“Ookay…” You rush back to the hospital, typing out a message on your pager as Kyra sits there in utter confusion.

“Well I guess I could get another scoop of gelato…”

————————————————————

An hour later, you take a deep breath before entering Nigel's room to find Ethan and Ines already inside.

“Well what are you waiting for?”, Dr. Ramsey says. Pushing back all of your invading memories of him, you continue with your explanation.

"I spent the last two days trying to figure out the one thing causing all of Mr.Platt's symptoms.”, you say as you stand beside Nigel's bedside.

"And?", he asks. For a split second, you can see a slight look of hope in his eyes, but it passes as quickly as it came, leaving you to believe it was a mere delusion of yours.

"That's when I realized nothing was causing all of them-" But before you can continue, you’re interrupted by Nigel.

"Are you calling-", he burps, “me a liar?", he asks, rude as always.

You control the urge to roll your eyes. He could've at least let you finish your sentence.

Ignoring him, you continue what you were saying," Mr.Platt has been experiencing tingling and hair loss but also cold sensitivity and some hearing problems." You pause for a second before continuing,"All of which point to hypothyroidism caused by Hashimoto's disease easily treated with levothyroxine."

"Go on." Ethan orders in his usual cold bossy tone.

"I couldn't fit in the constant burping and the chest pain… because it was completely separate." You explain. "I ordered a barium swallow X-ray and detected a hiatal hernia in the esophageal hole through the diaphragm."

"The treatment?", he asks, motioning you to continue.

"I have already booked a laparoscopic surgery to repair it.”, you answer with a touch of pride.

"Good work Dr.Valentine." Ines smiles at you.” You return it with a nod and a tentative smile.

"So ... I'll be cured?" Nigel asks.

"Yes-“, you calm yourself down before you rip him apart and then continue.

"You'll be good as new." you say instead with a forced smile.

"Good... because I don't want to spend a -" he burps, " second more in your hopeless company."

Your blood boils at this point as you bite your lip to control yourself. “The audacity! Ugh, he's a patient, Arielle. You have to be nice to him.”

"Mr. Platt, might suggest viewing this as a new lease on life. Perhaps a life where you don't make everyone around you miserable.”, Ethan's stern voice retorts, shocking you and Ines.

“No way...he did not!”

"Dr. Ramsey!" Ines exclaims with a shocked expression on her face, which you’re quite sure your face resembles.

"I'll report you! I want to talk to your manager," he says more angrily than before.

"Go ahead," Ethan says with a sarcastic smile." Maybe she can't talk to you like this but I sure as hell can."

You look at Nigel who looks like he's about to say something but just then Bryce struts in. He winks at you playfully as he passes you.

"Someone called for a laparoscopic surgery?"

"Oh great, first Barbie and now the damn Ken doll!” You don’t even attempt to hide the disgust on your face as you roll your eyes.

By the time you’ve finished your consultation with Bryce, Ines and Ethan have already left the room. Pleased with yourself, you take a left in the hallway without noticing Ethan standing leaning against the wall.

"Rookie..." His velvety baritone voice calls out, pulling you out of a haze.

Wincing, you stop dead in your tracks as the memories of the previous day replay in your mind. Still embarrassed with your encounter, you turn around but never meet his eyes. You’re sure you look like a kid, standing before him with your feet crossed, one hand fiddling with your hair as you bite your lip.

"So, you figured it out in the end. And you kept things professional.”, he nods, barely visible.

"I guess I just needed a… push.”, you reply in a timid voice laced with embarrassment.

"Maybe you aren’t so hopeless then.", he says.

Unlike yesterday, his voice isn’t filled with disappointment and malice.

So mustering up some courage, you look up to meet his eyes. Relief washes over you as you don’t detect a hint of disappointment in his eyes. He isn’t smiling but something in you tells you he isn’t angry. You don’t realise you’ve been staring into his oh-so blue eyes until his pager beeps, shaking you out of your reverie.

“..Uh- I’ll see you around, Dr. Ramsey.” You can almost swear that you see longing etched into his chiseled features as you lose yourself in his eyes once more.

“Likewise, Valentine.” With that, he turns around and stalks away.

You sigh and lean against the wall, the events since you started your residency swirl around like a hurricane filled with memories.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

******************************************

And this concludes Season 1 of Medically Inevitable!

Authors’ Note:- Hey everyone, hope y’all enjoyed this chapter! As you’ve probably seen before, this is the last chapter of Season 1! Season 2 will be out soon, as soon as we work out the kinks and pump out a few chapters with different moodboards and title themes! Season 2 will be much more eventful, more drama, angst and shocking cliffhangers mixed in with the string of festivities that Thanksgiving and Christmas bring! Stay tuned and check our blogs and Instagram’s (same handle) for more updates! And lastly thank y’all so much for all the support, we are extremely grateful.

Love,

@drariellevalentine & @mysticaurathings

#ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #open heart fanfic #ethanjonahramsey #playchoices #open heart #medically inevitable #ethan jonah ramsey #ines delarosa #harper emery #modern au #thank you for the support

48 notes · View notes

writer-in-theory · 2 years ago

Note

the threantener (is that a word? i dont care) has arrived. 😃 have funnnnn.

posting this here as PROOF I'VE BEEN THREATENED.

chipotle order? burrito bowl - white rice, chicken (or just guac), pico de gallo, as much cheese as they're willing to give me

thoughts on veganism? i respect it but i cannot personally do it based on all the dietary restrictions i already have lmao

a specific color that gives you the ick? dark yellow, the kind that kinda looks brown/green?

mythical creature you think/believe is real? okay but i have to believe that there was a dragon-like creature that existed at one point in time.

favorite form of potato? BAKED BAKED BAKED

do you use a watch? in theory. i have a fitbit but i've also forgotten to charge it in a month. but yeah.

what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium? PENGUINS. but also i really love the rays

do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home? umm if it's been a long day or like i'm in business-y business clothes then yeah i'm changing into sweatpants or shorts or smthing, but otherwise nah.

do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)? yes i have a very strict routine for my mornings and nights so yeah. my skincare is...yes i just went to count...5 steps!

on a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice? ORANGE EVERY SINGLE TIME. apple juice tastes like piss im sorry

anything from your childhood you’ve held on to? i have a penguin stuffie from when i was a baby. but also i have old stories i wrote as a kid that i keep to remind myself of my love of writing.

brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%? not 100%. almost everything i have is its own brand after so much experimenting to find what works best for me.

first thing you’re doing in the purge? realistically, locking myself in my house with a baseball bat bc i'm not dealing with that shit

do you think you’re dehydrated? oh 10000% yes i am. i hate water and i don't drink it until i'm constantly on the verge of passing out. i haven't had water since last thursday.

rank the methods of death: freezing, burning, drowning drowning, burning, freezing. i've actually almost drowned before and that sucked ass. so, yeah, i'd rather not have a sequel event lmao.

thoughts on mint chocolate chip? it's heaven and i will consume anything mint chocolate chip basically.

an anxious compulsion you do everyday? i bite my fingers, pull my hair, pick at my scalp, that fun stuff.

your boba/tea order? ...i don't know. i've legit never tried because it's like walking into starbucks for the first time. i have no idea WHAT to try.

the veggie you dislike the most? brussel sprouts. WHY DO THEY SMELL LIKE THAT?? also beets. they give me the heebie jeebies.

favorite disney princess movie? tangled my beloved <3

a number that weirds you out? why does 27 exist i don't trust it.

do you have an emotional support water bottle? YES I DO. it's a big 32oz that i got at a student org fair my freshman year of university. it's covered in stickers and i love it.

do you wear jewelry? YEE. on the daily, i wear a heart necklace, a fidget ring, and black ball/stud earrings. sometimes i'll wear other rings, bracelets, or earrings but it depends on the outfit and the day.

which do you find yourself using, american or british english? mostly american but that's because work requires it so i've gotten into the habit.

would you say you have good taste in music? ehhh i have interesting taste in music, but i don't think most would like it.

how’s your spice tolerance? nonexistent. i'm a baby.

what’s your favorite or go-to outfit? my go-to outfit is usually this pair of slightly ripped high waisted jeans, a t-shirt, a black belt, and my gay high top converse. if it's colder out, paired with a flannel.

last meal on earth? THATS SO HARD. fettucine alfredo, probably.

preferred pasta noodle? i love penne or the shells the shells are so fun.

#ask game #ask jay #cj 🌙

0 notes

baekhvuns · 3 years ago

Note

Yeah Twitter's and Tik Tok's obsession with those jokes is weird, but they act like you're the weirdo for calling them out. Maybe some aren't that serious (they aren't peak comedy either), but since idols lurk on Twitter it must be uncomfortable for some of them to see. Also the sexualisation and amatonormativity in the community bothers me personally, I see most behaviour as friendly so when people say "there's no heterosexual explanation to this" I'm like: yeah there is sometimes, it's called friendship wtf try it maybe 😭 on one hand I'm happy younger people talk about orientation and identity more, but maybe they should focus on their own instead of projecting, assuming and reaching 😬 also imagine being a closeted idol and seeing random people discuss your identity, ship you with your friends and call you gay for their own comfort, yikes. Maybe they get some reassurance that their fans sound supportive (though it's clear some aren't that tolerant just love fetishising LGBTQ+ relationships) but I doubt it actually makes them feel seen and safe especially when they're struggling with self-acceptance

I think for most authors it's the lack of experience and research. They just project their own fantasies and expectations and it's not always good. I don't blame anyone for not speaking from experience, they can at least do their homework better. Writing smut is not easy I COULD NEVER, so it feels like some people force themselves to do it, sure practice is important, but I read a few nice fics that were ruined by awkward sex scenes

The daddy tweet WHY IS IT A HIT TWEET STOPPPPP... I kinda wanna see the results but I also don't. It's probably DILF Mingi and maybe Yunho well actually I'm sure every member was called daddy at some point, but I think only Seonghwa "functions" as both daddy and mommy, lmao

Piss kink or worse... 💩 kink yeah NO. I think watersports are becoming more and more common, because I keep hearing and seeing them around and I just don't get it WHYYYYYYYYY

At least I saw Shinee's MVs on the screen, Lucifer and Everybody for sure, but I wasn't always paying attention I also went outside a few times so maybe I missed the songs 💀 but I doubt it

Cosy enemy boyfriend AU? Tell me more 👂🏼

The shipping cost is straight from hell </3 me and my flatmate are buying one sweatshirt together, because not only are the clothes expensive, but we also don't need them really 😭 I need photocards though, idk if there are multiple versions, but I know Seonghwa's won't be cheap so I would rather not buy individually 🤡 thankfully my 2 friends are organising a GO!

Omg cosmic cowboy Hwa where the fuck are you??? His photos were supposed to drop. And Rocky MV tomorrow, ha ha ha how we feeling? I saw a snippet of their reaction, I'm very UNREADY - DV 💖

hihi!!

OH DEFFF ik someone who knows someone from a bg like they were in their friend group and what not,,,, they all see it 😭😭 but they’re just so busy i think most r probably exhausted by it fbamdbsn THAT WEIRD PART SO TRUE SO TRUE !!!!!

Also the sexualisation and amatonormativity in the community bothers me personally, I see most behaviour as friendly so when people say "there's no heterosexual explanation to this" I'm like: yeah there is sometimes, it's called friendship wtf try it maybe 😭

no bc id act like that with my friends too bc?? it’s so normal?? 😭😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO ANON I SCREAMED AT THIS AT A STARBUCKS PLSBFKWBDKW

on one hand I'm happy younger people talk about orientation and identity more, but maybe they should focus on their own instead of projecting, assuming and reaching 😬 also imagine being a closeted idol and seeing random people discuss your identity, ship you with your friends and call you gay for their own comfort, yikes. Maybe they get some reassurance that their fans sound supportive (though it's clear some aren't that tolerant just love fetishising LGBTQ+ relationships) but I doubt it actually makes them feel seen and safe especially when they're struggling with self-acceptance

so true so true esp that “skme aren’t tolerant just love fetishising lgbtq+ relationships” i CAN BET these fans who assume their preferences and if those preferences were true, they’d actually not like it??? if that makes sense, as in their fantasy of it will shatter

some lack research or experience but some get forced into writing smut bc it gets the notes ifykwim?? i was told that if i write smut ppl would look at my fics more 😭😭😭 <3 which is true but every time i write it just slowly kills me inside to think someone would actually say this during an intercourse

YEAAAHHHH sometimes the dialogue kinda ruins a very well written smut

NO BC FBWMFBWKDBWK I WAS LIKE WHY IS THIS EVEN A THING??? i think most were hongjoong but 🔫 LMFAOOOO SEONGHWA JUST MILF HES NOT EVEN DADDY JUST MILF

Piss kink or worse... 💩 kink yeah NO. I think watersports are becoming more and more common, because I keep hearing and seeing them around and I just don't get it WHYYYYYYYYY

stfu there’s a shit kink??? what the fuck??????? I ACTUALLY DONT UNDERSTAND WATER SPORTS is it like u do it in the water??

At least I saw Shinee's MVs on the screen, Lucifer and Everybody for sure, but I wasn't always paying attention I also went outside a few times so maybe I missed the songs 💀 but I doubt it

at least shinee made an appearance >>> second gen early third gen party songs were so lit i miss them all

Cosy enemy boyfriend AU? Tell me more 👂🏼

☺️☺️ imagine u have to attend a wedding, the best man is ur 🔫🔫🔫 ur forced to get along for the sakes of ur besties <3333 LMFJQKDJWK ITS RLY CHAOTIC PLS LOOK FORWARD TO IT it’ll be shorter i think!

ALL FOR THE PC’S LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭 I RESPECT THE GRIND SO MUCH !!! MANIFESTING HWA PC’S FOR U FBFBF OH? A GO more chances for hwa 😩😩😩 bestie send one here 🤲🏼😭😭

Omg cosmic cowboy Hwa where the fuck are you??? His photos were supposed to drop. And Rocky MV tomorrow, ha ha ha how we feeling? I saw a snippet of their reaction, I'm very UNREADY - TYPICALLY THEY DROPPED THE PHOTOS 5 SECONDS AFTER I MESSAGED YOU

IM??? HES SO SO PRETTY AND FOR WHAT?? WHAT THE FUCK BFNSDHJW THE HAIR THE FIT 😩😩😩and then the audacity to send a picture later 😀

But omg I'm AWOOOOOOOOOING at him 😭😳😵😩🥴 - went through so many emotions seriously. HIS HAIR TOO THEY WANNA KILL ME WITH DEJA VU HWA AGAIN AND THERE ARE SO MANY PICTURES, UNIVERSE HAS NO CHILL. He's so gorgeous - DV 💖

MATE CALLING 😭😭😭 DBNABDSJBDSM UNIVERSE JUST BOMBARDS BFSMBDM HIS LONG DEJA VU HAIR >>>>>>>>> PLS WE NEED IT BACK

did u see rocky mv.

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

0 notes

thedaveandkimmershow · 3 years ago

Text

"It can be raining like crazy and then fifteen minutes later it's fine."

That's Kimmer, by the way, commenting on yesterday afternoon's sudden deluge of rain.

Deluge.

Of rain.

All that rain came with intense flashes and branches of lighting accompanied by thunder that was much like a bulldozer careening around an industrial kitchen.

It was very clangy is what I'm saying.

We managed a reservation at Margaritaville for lunch, scoring a table on the covered "Indecision Porch" in front of which everyone on foot passes. From our perch, it's impossible not to see certain things.

For example, a tall young man with his arm draped lazily around the young woman he's with. Kimmer thought first-date. My bet's on they're a couple and she's not super happy about it because at one point he leans down and over to kiss the top of her head and the look on her face at that moment is one of enduring it.

I noticed a number of families wearing uniforms, bright green or orange t-shirts that make them impossible to miss by family members even from low earth orbit. Which is a good thing 'cause all these families have little kids in tow.

I saw a coupla brothers, older and younger, and caught the moment when the older brother put his arm around the younger and they took off running.

Took.

Off.

Running.

I saw a father try to put his arm around his daughter but she kept ducking it. And when he finally relented... she took his hand instead. ♥️♥️♥️

I saw off-season Santa driving an electric cart, dressed from head to toe in a red warm-up suit.

I saw someone wearing a "Free The Dinosaurs" t-shirt and now I want one of those t-shirts too.

Plus, you know, I really do want to free the dinosaurs 'cause I'm environmental like that. 😁

I also realized during lunch that Kimmer's scheduled for us a vacation, a vacation, and a vacation. Right now we're on a three-and-a-half day stay without obligation, responsibility, or agenda. That vacation'll be followed by five days of all things Disney starting Monday. And the last two days are no-obligstion free time again.

Lovely!

Our lunch was also accompanied by a live steel drum band performing popular covers that caused me to indulge a mental game of "Name That Tune". I wasn't very good at it though eventually I figured out most of the songs. Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" was one of the most well known along with the "Guilty Feet Have Got No Rhythm" song by George Michael that's actually "Careless Whisper" by Wham 'cause I just looked it up.

After lunch, it's nap and relax time. And then it's time for night bowling 'cause it's this thing we both really want to do and I stood in line this morning for nearly forty five minutes waiting to get a reservation.

We had a great time, by the way. I started off with three strikes in a row which felt really bizarre. Kimmer took a few frames to get her groove back and ended up improving her score with each game while my game seemed to get worse.

Still.

Night bowling. The missus 'n me.

♥️♥️♥️

Not long after we finished, Linzy's flight landed at Orlando International and, while we were hunting around for a dinner sandwich for her, she managed to land in our hotel's lobby.

She was pretty wiped out much as we were a few evenings ago. It's amazing what air travel takes out of you. Not sure why. And that three hour time difference is always a bigger deal than it has any right to be.

We finished the evening with Linzy getting us hooked on that Netflix series "Lupin", "a retelling of the classic French story about Arsène Lupin, the world-famous gentleman thief and master of disguise." (Wikipedia)

We blew through two hours of this foreign language subtitled action/mystery show, only stopping 'cause it was 230.

A.M.

A few hours later, 6AM, I'm up again 'cause Rachel's plane lands a little after six. It winds up landing about ten minutes after six and I meet her in the hotel lobby after she Lyfts the final leg of her journey to a most welcome sleep 'cause she's been flying all night, having a classic red-eye experience.

Now, we didn't get to bed 'til 230 this morning. And Rachel didn't get any sleep on the plane 'cause they kept it so cold. So I'm figuring she's just gonna maybe say a quick hello to Kimmer 'n Linzy before going to sleep while everyone goes back to sleep.

Haha. NOPE.

We haven't all been together as a family for a long time now and suddenly (and for the week) the band's back together again. So a lot of catching up ensues. And a lot of laughter followed by shhhhh's 'cause it's still earlyish in the morning.

At some point, though, not sure when, I nod off.

It's 10AM!

Yeah. It's 10AM and this is one of those experiences like when I used to get up super early on Sunday morning's to do my paper route and then went back to bed again after finishing it only to get up a few hours later.

It felt like a different day every time. Even after those few hours of sleep.

And so it is this morning.

While the girls remain essentially comatose after their travels, Kimmer slips downstairs to Starbucks whilst I take a glorious shower. "Glorious" in that it really does seem like a completely different day.

:-)

After clearing the room, checking out, and stashing our bags at the front desk for a few hours, the missus 'n I indulge mango smoothies by the pool whilst talking life 'cause that's what old people do. Then we're off to Trader Joe's with Santiago, an Uber driver who shared bits of life with us as we did with him. We talked about New York City where he lived before, we talked a little sights of Orlando where he's lived since oh-three, we talked a little bit Seattle where his best friend's younger brother lives (and also where we were born & raised), and then we talked a touch of Puerto Rico and Hurricane Maria.

It doesn't take us long at Trader Joe's, a coupla bags worth, really, before we hail another Uber back with Carlitos from New York State… . Westchester. We talked old school sports video games as well as the challenges of proper car maintenance before dropping off again for one more best.

Burger.

Ever.

At The Hideaway Bar & Grill.

😁😁😁

Eventually, it's time to end Vacation #1 with a Lyft from our driver, Wanell, to our rental condo at Floridays. We talked the recent Haiti earthquake a little and quickly determining that all his friends and family are okay. Alive and uninjured. Then, because we were passing it, we talked Icon Park with that crazy tall rotating swing guaranteed to induce nausea and vomiting. The Kraken roller coaster was another candidate on which we all voted would produce similar results as we passed Sea World. And then, finally, somehow, we talked alligators 'n fries.

I don't know what to tell you. Rachel was super interested to hear about it.

And so on.

We're pretty much having a Maui experience here where there seems to be more time in our days. More hours than just the 24 we're routinely allotted. Because once you start having to count the time between one event and the next… your day just gets away from you. Sometimes at light speed.

And we're not doing that.

These are not full days of To-Dos. This is nearly all unstructured time. And when it's unstructured time… the day just unfolds and keeps unfolding.

It's crazy how much livable time there is on any given day.

Seriously. There really is.

Anyway, this first vacation, part 1, the one before our Disney vacation, wraps up today. And tomorrow… we dive head first into, well...

We're about to find out.

🙂🤔😁

#vacation #vacation stories #disney springs #universal's cabana bay resort #trader joe's

0 notes

raybansandcoffee · 8 years ago

Note

Thank you for that reply! People often think I'm being a baby or lazy cause I just wanna sleep but in reality I can barely function my head hurts so bad. Its hard not to have energy to do basic things. Regular ibuprofen also never works -- I take it for cramps sometimes. Do you have any tips you don't mind sharing?

I’m happy to share some of the things that I do or have tried. I’ll share with you tips but if you want any details on the different treatments I’ve tried (botox, acupuncture, different pain injections, etc.) I’m happy to give you info on that too, just ask :). My neurologist is super non-traditional and has tried a lot of different things with me, not all of them have worked but he’s always willing to try which is incredibly helpful.

So my go-to tricks are usually from this list (it’s a big long so it is after the jump but because every migraineur is different I want to let you know why they work for me in case you have a different symptom - I’d hate for my suggestions to make a migraine worse):

- Dark cool room: I have had black out curtains which are AMAZING! They help keep the room cool which is always helpful to me. I have my air conditioning cranked right now because it’s been hot and humid here all week. We were in the midst of a heat wave which was NOT my friend. I have a lot of light sensitivity so I try to have the room as dark as possible. If I can’t get it dark I wear sunglasses if I need to function and see or a sleep mask if I don’t.

- Ice Packs: Some people say heat helps them, I find it does the opposite. Because migraines are technically a vascular headache the blood vessels leading to your brain expand, heat makes that worse. I have a variety of sizes from the kind that goes over your eyes to one that is basically like a velcro headband that can put pressure on my head while applying ice around the entire thing - It’s amazing! I also have one that is large enough that it can cover most of my back, so I use it on my shoulders and neck. My pain radiates from my left temple/top of my left head down into my neck and shoulder. And then they all just feed into each other.

- Water!: I don’t drink nearly enough but I also can’t stress how important it is. Evie’s experience at the neurologist being dehydrated is based on personal experience for me, unfortunately so was the panic attack that followed. I tend to get dehydrated easily when I’m sick. The case that I was basing Evie’s experience off of involves a prescription for prednisone pills that tapered off throughout a week. No matter how much water I drink if I’m on steroid pills I end up dehydrated and awake for like 72 hours. I have tiny veins, to begin with, so the bruises from that IV were HUGE. It’s important to make sure you drink as many fluids as possible (water, sports drinks, juices). I do have an app called My Water that I have a notification on that goes off every 30 minutes that reminds me to drink water, it can be set from every 15 minutes to every few hours all at your discretion. It pushes notifications to my Apple Watch as well which is helpful and has been wonderful the last two weeks as I’ve gone through this rough patch. It wakes me up just enough to take a few drinks.

- Caffeine and Sugar: I have had a variety of doctors have a variety of opinions on this but it works for me. I love coffee (thus the raybansandcoffee username) but I have had to cut back over the years because too much caffeine can be a trigger. But when a migraine is coming caffeine and sugar can help me kick the medicine into gear faster. I have a hard time with the over-the-counter migraine medications though most of them have caffeine in them. I take prescription strength naproxen (Aleve) along with Imitrex and an anti-nausea medication at the onset of a migraine. I had a friend who was in nursing school test a theory on me. I’m a Diet Coke addict. It’s my life. Fake sugar is also a migraine trigger for me, though Diet Coke has never caused problems on its own, it’s things with a higher amount of fake sugar mainly aspartame (NutraSweet). She told me to start drinking regular Mt. Dew at the onset of a headache and it sort of helped. I switched the energy drinks I use, stopped using sugar substitutes in coffees because NutraSweet itself would cause a headache. Sucralose or Splenda hasn’t caused as many issues with me which is the sugar substitute used in syrups at Starbucks, I had a friend that was a barista research that for me. I tend to avoid the substitutes just to be safe, my brain likes it, my waistline maybe doesn’t, haha.

- Sleep: I know that’s obvious and sometimes hard to achieve. Often times the pain is bad enough that you are left awake from it and the caffeine in the over-the-counter medications. If your migraines involve a lot of nausea I suggest asking a doctor for an anti-nausea medication, mine also helps me sleep which helps relieve the pain. If you don’t like prescriptions or don’t have access to health insurance Benadryl is a great alternative. My anti-nausea is an antihistamine that is a stronger medication than Benadryl but often times if I need to be awake early the next day for work I substitute it. Benadryl’s active ingredient is used to treat nausea and vomiting due to motion sickness and has worked well for me, it also is a sleep aid. Follow the directions on ANY medication I suggest and always, always, ALWAYS talk to your primary care physician or nurse because I am not a medical professional just a person with a lot of history with migraines.

- A good old fashioned orgasm: Yup, it sounds weird and every movie and TV show with a wife who ‘had a headache’ is lying…sort of. The orgasm is the key to it, haha and unfortunately that’s not always guaranteed. So whether it’s through sex or self-pleasure sometimes it works. I know my body well enough to know if sex is going to make it better or worse and when it makes it worse it makes it A LOT worse. The dude in my life flat out refuses to try and help in that manner because there were a few occasions where it made it worse and we went from being happy and snuggly after a round of good sex to me on the floor of his bedroom in the fetal position. That’s not a sexy thing to do, trust me. Haha. It’s a risk that I’m not usually willing to take anymore because of that. But I have friends who swear by it so I have to put it out there.

- Massage therapy and aromatherapy: Always be open with the therapist that you have migraines and let them know if you currently have one. I have gotten massages for about 3 or 4 years as part of my care. Either to prevent or relieve. Hot stones can be amazing but I have to be careful as does the therapist. If it’s too hot or too close to my neck it can cause an increase in pain. Cool stones can do a lot to relieve the pain I experience behind my eyes. A lot of massage therapists use aromatherapy, be careful if you have scent issues like I do you need to make sure that it’s not something that will aggravate your migraines. I’ve found safe scents for me are lavender and peppermint. Peppermint can work wonders when it comes to nausea too so I suggest keeping a roll on of that in a purse or backpack. I have one that is a blend specifically for migraines that I bought on Amazon that I used to keep in my desk at work when I was in a traditional office.

- Find support: This is the hardest one. I am lucky that I have family who is loving and caring and a few of them have a history with this shitty condition. It took a while for them to understand just how bad they would get and a lot of people, friends and family, thought it was an excuse and that I just didn’t want to go to work. It took them noticing the signs with me and seeing me fight through a lot of it to realize that I wasn’t lying. The key physical sign for me is my pupils dilate and get super huge…on my right side. My left side is trying to compensate for the pain my brain is in as well as the sensitivity to light and gets small. Yup, I have unevenly dilated pupils, it’s creepy and weird and sometimes I look like a drug addict. But once they were able to see the signs I’d have my brother or a parent say ‘how’s your head feeling’ because they’d see how huge my pupils had gotten. My friends learned to understand that when I was well I’d be there for them without question and happy to go out and have fun but if I wasn’t I did the bare minimums in life. I worked and slept. I found a counselor that was willing to listen to me about all of the things going on in my life and help me talk through some of my anxieties as well as how to approach life and new situations when my migraines cause problems. I am on my third neurologist but he is amazing! It took a lot of trial and error to find what would work for me but he kept trying. It’s also nice to know a few fellow migraineurs because we can compare notes and keep each other upbeat when the days get long…I mean fuck I’m approaching 16 days in a row with migraines. If I didn’t have a community of people to support me and a few to listen and not say “Have you tried going gluten free it worked for me and I used to get like 3 migraines a year” - on a side note I’d rather have a migraine every day than give up gluten, we all make life decisions that is mine. Haha. I am never going to tell someone I know what will work for them because what works for me doesn’t work for others and vice versa.

So if you don’t have any friends who also experience then know you can ALWAYS come to me. I will listen, offer advice where necessary and requested, and just be here to listen if you need someone to. If you don’t want to share it publicly feel free to PM me off anon and let me know that you don’t want it public and we can communicate back and forth that way. I also have my messages turned on so you can do that as well. Hell if you want my email or my KIK I’ll hand it over. It’s tough to find support when you’re always afraid people are going to judge you, think you’re lazy or in the case of the last week of my life a junkie who just wants drugs. You can also follow my main blog @iowagirlwrites. I tend to blog a little bit more about my health conditions (chronic migraines, anxiety, depression and a history with agoraphobia) over there. I also try and find humor in my migraines and often blog there about that too. I don’t want to overwhelm my readers here with a lot of bummery stuff but I also want them to know that I’m human and I go through shit and that I’m always willing to talk. I’m much older than a lot of my readers as I’m in my early 30s (what can I say Harry is cute and won me over easily when he was a wee 19-year-old). I’ve been through a lot of what my readers are going through and survived. So I am always here for them, sort of like a big sister or friend or something. I didn’t have a lot of people to turn to when I went through the worst of my health so I want people to know they can come to me.

I hope something I’ve suggested helps you. If you have something you’re thinking about shoot it over and I’ll let you know if I’ve tried it and how it worked for me. I hope your migraines don’t give you too much crap.

But know I’m going to take something to try and get rid of my migraine or at least put me to sleep until morning.

xx AM.

#ask away

1 note · View note

queerascat · 8 years ago

Note

i found an old post about a poc ace and went on their blog and they know say they don't identify as ace because aces are bad, basically. and like, i'm literally crying. idk what to do, that just really struck me. someone who wrote about being queer, ace and a poc like me shitting on me and telling me my identity is inherently problematic when it's the reason i can't access mental health atm, which is something i need cause the 'discourse' & the violent abuse i faced on this website for (cont)

(suicide ideation, death threat and conversion tw) including death threats, caused me to fall back into suicidal ideation. and the only therapist available to me suggested conversion therapy (i live in a small central american country, there’s not much knowledge about these things- she thinks if i can be converted to straight, i will no longer suffer from my orientation). this is horrible tbh. i’m sorry to unload but as another poc ace i feel safe around you. i guess what i’m trying to say is that this ‘discourse’, which is just a bunch of people thinking they can gaslight and abuse aces or call the ‘bad’ or ‘cringy’ and don’t want to have any sort of intra community discussion but literally deny us our experiences and be abusive, is harming my mental health. friends i trusted turned out to be acephobic, send me literal death threats. in what kind of WORLD is that fucking ok? idk where im going with this, im sorry. do you know of any ways i can deal with this wave of ace and aro hatred that’s spread this website? i don’t know how to go about it. and now in the spanish speaking online lgbtq+ community, enbyphobes have copied it to exclude enbys for ‘being actually cis’ and are calling us ‘cisnb’ after regs in english calling aces and aros ‘cishet’ so that’s just fucking great :( that’s because the community is only now starting to realize enbys exist. and it’s also learning that about aspecs, so im starting to hear it in spanish too. i just can’t escape it.

i genuinely feel like i’m in no place to be giving any sort of advice on things of this nature– especially right now when i’m just managing to keep my own head above water for various reasons, but…

i’d first like to say that venting has been (and continues to be) a significant part of self-care / coping for me personally and i am beyond flattered that you feel safe enough to vent your feelings to me. no need to apologize, anon. i don’t know if i can be of any help to you, but i hope that the very act of venting in and of itself has been a step in the right direction for coping for you like it often is for me.

i also want to say that i’m very sorry to hear about all of the shit that you’ve been (and continue to be) put through. while i haven’t had your exact experiences, i can very much relate to feeling like you can’t escape “discourse” or otherwise harmful ideology as both it itself and the effects of it pervades other aspects and intersections of your life both on and outside of Tumblr. not to mention how it feels to finally find that rare, illusive something or someone that you share important but seemingly less common intersections with only to discover that that thing or person contributes to the very thing that’s, for lack of a better expression, fucking you up.

…ah, yes. like those old posts by a formerly self-identified ace and queer person of color who now not only advocates against asexuality but who does so in a way that blatantly shits on aces of color by pitching them against other QPOC, among other things. that’s some fucked up shit, ain’t it?

cough. anyway… my personal coping and self-care strategies.

my go-to strategies for coping and self-care certainly don’t work for everyone or in all situations, but with Tumblr and social media-related thing in general i often try to:

remove myself from the source of the distress.

even if only temporarily for a few hours, days, a week– whatever, i do what i can to mentally and / or physically check myself out of whatever it is that’s negatively affecting me and do my best to turn my attention to other things. i go to Starbucks, read a book, clean my apartment, focus on a personal project, catch up on shows, turn off my computer and my phone and finally make myself food– whatever. i focus on things that are actually tangible and perhaps offer some form of self-gratification even if it’s just in the form of tasting good because goddamnit, the time and cost required to get a caramel macchiato is (and quite frankly should be) far more worth it to me than the time and (mental) cost spent giving a damn about someone else’s bullshit. or so i tell myself.

if the source of the distress is outside of the internet, as might be the case with a therapist, i cut that person (or thing) out of my life even if it’s just by silently breaking off communication with them by not returning their calls or not going to their therapy sessions temporarily or indefinitely. as i said above, that person / those people / that thing is not worth the time or (mental) cost required of me by dealing with them.

limit or manage my exposure to the source of the distress when removing myself from it completely isn’t possible.

i feel like this often ends up being more taxing than simply removing myself all together, but blocking / unfollowing immediately upon coming across something or someone that can potentially or does set you off is important. blocking applies to more than just people, blogs or posts but also blacklisting tags, keywords etc using something like Xkit for Tumblr, the native block & mute features on Twitter, etc. if the distress comes in the form of asks, instant messages, etc then i disable those things at least temporarily, especially when blocking an IP fails to get the job done. i also avoid browsing through tags, which can be tough when you actively want to find something to help yourself feel better about yourself / your experiences / etc…

when the source of the distress isn’t online-based, i try to manage / limit my exposure by avoiding the person or thing in question when possible. again, actively avoiding someone or something requires effort on my part and can in and of itself be taxing, so it’s not ideal… but i do what i can.

venting.

while venting is by no means The Solution to anything and comes with its own set of risks / problems when done publicly, venting can be done in so many different ways. it’s a relatively easy form of instantly relief for me regardless of how small that relief may ultimately be. whether it be tweeting, journaling (online or pen & paper), venting on sites specifically made for that purpose, scribbling feelings onto a piece of paper and then immediately ripping that paper to shreds, typing heatedly into a text document and then closing it without saving– whatever, it helps for me to take even a moment out of my day to acknowledge how i feel and speak those feelings into existence beyond just the mess that is my own head at times. even if those feelings only exist in the world for seconds before i delete or physically destroy them because Anxiety And Shit, it still helps.

but perhaps most importantly is to:

focus on the fact that no matter what anyone else says or does, i am The Authority on who i am, how i feel, etc.

i know who i am, but i also know that who i am is not the problem even when others make me feel otherwise. regardless of how i may feel about the things that i face in regards to my sexuality, my gender, my race, etc, i try to keep in mind that those things that i face are a product of the society that i live in and the people who insist on interjecting their own personal bullshit into my life. imho, this is as true of Tumblr “discourse” as it is of life in general.

while it may not be possible to escape society or shitty people all together, there is a lot more to society and life in general than the bullshit that we find ourselves faced with at times. i try my best to look beyond or through “discourse” on Tumblr and see the communities of people both on an off Tumblr who, like me, are against such bullshit. while shitty therapists and shitty people in general may rebrand and rehash the same old tired, hurtful shit that’s been said to others for forever, i try to look past that and focus instead on the fact that a lot of people aren’t like that and have actually learned from the past and and are better for it. i try to focus on a future where i will have access to competent mental health resources and care even though i do not have that now…

…….i’m not sure why i ended up writing this short novel of a post that ultimately amounts to nothing, but yeah. anon, no matter how hard things get, please know that you’re never going at it alone. there are others out there struggling, coping, surviving in spite of the same or similar things, it’s just that if hardly anyone talks about it we end up feeling alone in it, unaware of others’ company…

….which is one reason why despite the potential risks, venting publicly even in the form of anonymous asks can be worth it sometimes and i very much welcome such asks on this blog.

all the best, anon.

30 notes · View notes