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gracieheartspedro · 1 month ago

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i bet on losing dogs

pairing: ellie williams x reader

post about palestine - please be aware and know who your content comes from. this post informs you about the tlou writers and creators, as well as how to help the Palestinian people.

description: a slow progression of how you lost ellie.

word count: 3.7k words

warnings: 18+ MDNI, reader is in a relationship with ellie, only angst, small mentions of intimacy, descriptions of violence, mentions of blood, ellie is grieving big time, ellie trauma dumps, ellie gets hurt, reader is described to be scarred and disfigured after seattle, reader is scared of ellie, dark themes in general.

author’s note: just know this was sitting in my docs for a while cause I had a hard time sticking with the grief I felt writing it. I finished it a couple weeks ago and just kept rereading it. I can't keep looking at it anymore. have it. i'm sorry in advance.

Her bed was made.

That’s the first thing you noticed when you crept into her space. The snow had been piled in front of the door, indicating that no one had come or left. Your boots dusted snow across her old oriental-looking rug. Her back was turned to you.

She looks so small. Her hair is greasy, tousled up in a small bun at the base of her head. She was wearing the same clothes you left her in the day before.

“Els?”

She turns to you, not stunned, just a bit disoriented. Her eyebrows are furrowed the second her eyes meet yours.

“I thought I told you that I want to be alone.”

The statement crushes you. You inhale deeply, trying to relieve the heaviness on your chest.

You shake your head, “I’m sorry, I can’t watch you rot in this room anymore.”

She's quick with her rebuttal. “If you would have listened, you wouldn’t have to watch. Just leave me alone.”

But you physically cannot. You have spent days pacing your house, thinking about her withering away in her detached garage. You try to sleep, but you know she’s not, so how could you?

And you had this bitterness in your mouth all the time now. After walking into that room in the ski lodge and seeing her and Joel bloodied and battered, you cannot get the metallic taste to go away. Everything you ate tasted like it.

“Ellie-“

“Please, I don’t want to talk.”

Her voice is shaky. You notice she’s picking at her cuticles again, they are red and irritated. She finally changed out of the socks that were partially soaked with blood.

It had been three days since Joel was taken from her.

You try to hold your ground, blinking back some tears that slip when she approaches you and takes your arm. She’s guiding you to the door, grabbing the handle. When the door creaks open, you snatch your arm away. You are trying to be patient, but this was the second time she was trying to throw you out. She had done the same to Maria and Tommy the day after Joel died.

“I thought you were fuckin’ dead, Ellie.”

You promised yourself you would not burden her with your emotions. But you could not help it anymore.

“What?”

She shuts the door, letting more cold air seep into the frigid room. She shifts onto her other heel, crossing her arms. It’s a physical way of blocking out your emotions, a gesture that is so subtle and probably absent of intention.

“I can’t lose you, too, okay?”

Her eyes finally find yours, “You’re not gonna-”

You reach out to her, pulling her hand out of the crook of her arm. “I am here, okay? I am right here.”

She uses the leverage of you grabbing her hand to reel you into a hug. As soon as your chin rests on her shoulder, she’s dead weight in your arms. It’s like a release that you have been waiting for. She starts to cry, the air escaping her lungs as she heaves to let out another sob. You just hold her, the anxiety of leaving her alone for the last three days now escaping you. You finally felt like you were doing something for her.

She grips onto you like you're the axis to keep her world spinning. Her whole life depended on the feeling of your body around her.

You sat with her for a whole day in silence. Not saying anything; just waiting for her to say the word. You knew what was next for Ellie.

She was going to get revenge.

Your shirt was stained with blood and sweat. You told yourself the next department store you saw, you would hunt down a 20-year-old shirt to replace it.

You were exhausted. You could hardly keep up with Ellie the last mile back to the theater. It was only the second day of trying to hunt down this crew Ellie was hell-bent on destroying. Two days in Seattle and you two have discovered a lot without having any initial leads when you arrived.

And you did not fault her for being so aggressive, but after the things you saw today, you’re starting to wonder if this was really what she needs. Her malicious and unhinged behavior was beginning to frighten you a bit.

It started when you entered an abandoned hotel. A couple of infected got taken down by your bullets, but when other non-infected people came running your way, you hesitated. You saw the looks of confusion on their faces when they saw you and Ellie. While you stood and held their gazes, Ellie raised her rifle and executed each one of them without even flinching. The shots were louder than you remember, echoing off the walls peeling of wallpaper.

Then today, you both arrived at an old elementary school. You were caught up with holding off a couple of people in a long hallway. You yelled for Ellie to wait it out, wanting the people to charge you so you could take them out, but instead, she lit up the entire hallway. When the last person came running at her with a baseball bat, she dodged them and shoved her blade right into their necks. You watched her twist it and rip it out the side, their blood splattering all over the wall. When the man collapsed, she simply tucked her weapon into her sheath and kept moving. It was so brutal and unnecessary, but she kept telling you they deserved it.

She found who she had been looking for. A girl named Nora. You were in charge of keeping watch while she got intel from her. You heard most of the conversation, but when you heard the sounds of metal clinging, you stepped away from the door. You had to resist the urge not to run in there and stop the torture, but your feet were stuck to the concrete. You did not move, you did not dare.

She is now digging dirt and blood out of her fingernails with her blade, trying not to accidentally knick herself. Her auburn fringe covers her forehead, greasy from sweat. She is still covered in blood, but you two have not said much since you arrived back.

She went too far and she knows it scared you. But frankly, she did not care. This was necessary.

“Els?” You snap her out of her trance-like daze. She has not said anything in about an hour. Your voice is soft and so is your touch on her shoulder. You want to try to pick her brain, something you have been unsuccessful at doing the last couple of weeks.

She winces.

“Yeah?” She utters. A bit of phlegm in the back of her throat makes her sound hoarse.

“Can you please let me check on you? Just take off your coat.”

Your hand is still on her shoulder. She does not respond or move, so you take it as she’s submitting to your request. You grab the collar of her rain jacket and slowly start to drag it down her shoulder. She’s still not saying anything.

You wished you could read her mind. It would make your relationship with her way easier. After two years, you would think she would be better about sharing her feelings, but she mostly left you to interpret her body language. You got good at reading it for a while. But then Joel died. And now she is a silent and bitter ball of rage. Anything you thought you knew about her has fallen to the wayside.

You slowly take off her layers of clothing, being sure to avoid touching the wounds that have made her skin their new home.

The one on her shoulder was pretty bad, you think to yourself, she better let me stitch her up.

“I think we need to surprise them at night,” She states, her voice a bit robotic. You just bite the inside of your lip and nod. She was making all the plans, you just had to go along with it.

“Okay,” You whisper, grabbing a medical kit nearby. You made sure to pack it back in Jackson and it came in handy more than once already.

“Do you even want to know what happened earlier?”

Your heart sinks. You do not want to know what happened. You knew she got what she needed from the girl, but you truly did not know if you wanted to hear the details. The idea that Ellie did more than just beat her makes you physically sick. If she could do that to a stranger, what was she going to do when she got her hands on her? You were not innocent in the chase. But your heart always skipped when you had to pull your trigger at another human being. It was not easy to watch life leave someone’s eyes. But for Ellie it was different. She acted like they were just things. Inanimate objects that needed to be pushed out of the way. You never saw her eyes change when she took a life.

You grab the needle from the med kit and a nearby lighter before settling on the couch beside Ellie. Her shoulder blade is covered by all the blood creating new dark maroon freckles.

You tilt her shoulder back to better look at it before finally responding.

“Didn’t think you wanted to talk about it.”

You know that’s not the answer she wanted. Her shoulders fall forward and she places her face in her hands. She lets out a long sigh, disregarding you as you try to patch her up. She quickly turns around to look at you.

Her eyes are dark, her lips pursed.

“I got her to talk. She paid with her life.”

You want to see your Ellie, but whoever sits before you is a stranger.

You did not want to think about Ellie killing a girl by violently beating her. It seemed so personal and evil. You decide there’s no answer worth saying to her confession, so you just turn her back around and begin your slow, tedious stitching.

Once you finish off the last suture, you stand and bring over a bowl filled with rainwater the night before. You were going to use it for drinking, but you decide it’s better to use it to clean around Ellie’s battered body.

You grab a rag from your pack and dip it in the chilled water. You ring it out and bring it to your stitch work. She is shaking now, but you are so scared to hold her in your arms.

“The night before Joel… we got into that big fight. I was so fuckin’ mad at him. I went to his house to confront him again.”

She heaves and you know tears are spilling from those beautiful green eyes. “Ellie-“

“I told him I was going to try to forgive him for all the shit he did. I should’ve…”

You drop the red-stained cloth into the bowl and pull her back into your chest. She’s sobbing, her entire body shaking as you finally accept her into your space.

Before you knew Ellie, you knew Joel. You did not understand their relationship, but you knew it was fractured. Joel never talked badly about her, only reminding everyone around him how proud he was of her. Whenever he caught you around the stables, he would ask if you were still hanging out with her. You would always blush and reply quickly, “Yes, of course”. He would smile and tell you how grateful he was to see she had a friend like you.

You loved Ellie. You loved her with every fiber of your being. She helped you through a lot of your grief when you arrived in Jackson. She held you through countless nights when you cried about losing your dad. You never thought you would have to do the same for her. Everyone, including you, thought Joel Miller was indestructible.

“Ellie, how were you supposed to know?” You ask softly before gently pressing a kiss in the middle of her back. You had never kissed her there before.

“How am I supposed to live with that?”

She was hurting so badly. Her violent heart has finally had enough.

“You learn how to manage it.”

It was the only way you pulled through. Grief is love expressing itself through other means. When you lost your dad, it was not violent. He was sick and his body was so beaten down, he had no chance of surviving the disease taking over his body. Your grief was managed by reminding yourself that you had to keep living for him because if not, you would be disappointing him. You did not know if heaven was real, but you did believe in energy, and you felt him sometimes especially when you needed him the most.

Ellie’s grief was different. It was forceful and unyielding. She could not let the hatred go and you did not particularly blame her. She watched Joel get beaten so badly that his face was almost unrecognizable. She had to watch a random woman take him away from her, forever. You could not compare your grief, but you did know that with time, she would know how to better manage it. She just could not get over the contempt for others who wronged her. It was embedded within her to seek out retribution.

She cried a bit, letting out a long sigh. “The only way I see it is if I give those people an ounce of violence they showed Joel in his final moments, I will be at peace.”

You knew the truth. There was no peace in situations like this. But were you going to tell Ellie that? No, you were not. You traveled hundreds of miles for her to do what she felt was necessary. And while you did not agree with all of her actions, you had been complacent. You were no better than any other person with a violent and impulsive lover. You enabled this journey to come to fruition, so you had to take accountability.

You stand up so you can face her. Her gaze has softened now and she almost looks like the same girl who confessed her feelings to you at the Harvest Festival two years ago. A little bit older, aged with the falling away of time, but still beautiful and vulnerable. Her green eyes sparkled differently, but your Ellie was still there somewhere.

“Okay, baby.” That is all you could say. “We will finish it.”

When you come back to consciousness, your vision is fuzzy. You are completely disoriented, but you know you are face down on the concrete. You start to feel around for something familiar, not sure if your gun or knife is nearby. You felt defenseless.

“Ellie?” You croak out. As soon as you talk, you can feel blood dribbling down your throat. You hear stirring beside you and your blood runs cold. Is that her?

You lift your hand to rub whatever is in your eyes out. Dirt? Mud? When you look at your hands, you get confirmation that it’s blood. You’re covered in it.

The movement gets closer and you look to your right and see Ellie’s battered body slowly stumbling towards you. Panic rises within you, unsure if she was mortally wounded or not. She collapses beside you, sitting up partially. She reaches for your hand and you realize that you can hardly move your foot to try to push yourself upwards. Everything hurt.

“Baby, I’m here.” She finally says. Your worry subsides for a moment as you try to sit up.

“Are you hurt?” You cry out as you press yourself upwards, the pain in your foot shooting up your leg. It’s almost the worst pain you’ve ever been in. You can hardly breathe once contort yourself to settle next to Ellie’s practically limp body.

“Yeah, but I can walk.”

You finally remember why you’re in this room. You try to scan the room, but the dimmed lighting and blood in your eyes isn’t helping. “Is Abby dead?”

The silence tells you the answer but you just look over at Ellie. She has blood pouring out of her nose and it trickles down her neck.

“She got away.”

Every day after Abby got away was completely different. When you arrive at the farmhouse on the hill, you hope to see your old Ellie again, and sometimes you do.

When the golden light trickled between the leaves in the forest and you two bask in the rays as you forage for berries, you tell a stupid joke and her laugh is guttural. She belly laughs and tells you that you’re so “dumb” before she wraps her arms around your waist and presses a kiss into your temple.

But then there was nighttime. When she finally fell asleep and you would stay up with a candle burning to read, she was ravaged by nightmares. She usually couldn’t escape them, so you would throw your book on the side table and hold her tightly so she could come back to reality.

The day would break and she would bring you up some breakfast in bed. She was terrible at cooking, but no one can really mess up scrambled eggs. She would serve them to you with a big goofy grin and long kisses.

Intimacy was few and far between, but you knew not to press it too much. Every time she would touch you in that way, she was meticulous and very generous. You would try to return the favor and she would shrivel up and tell you that she was okay. It made you feel some type of way, but after the fifth time it happened, you realized it was because she did not feel in tune with herself in that way.

You told her that she was beautiful every day. No matter what she was doing, or how she looked, whenever the thought entered your mind, you would say it out loud. Her response was always, “No, you.”

After a year of domesticity, you woke up one night to the sound of rustling downstairs and an empty bed. When Ellie did have a bad nightmare, she would occasionally go downstairs and sit on the front porch. But it was a chilly night and you knew better.

The day before Tommy made an unexpected visit and made an already awkward interaction absolutely deplorable. He had to bring up her and blame Ellie for the outcome of the Seattle event. The entire situation led to you forcing him off the property and telling him to never come back with that bullshit.

It was a subject you and Ellie never discussed after leaving those city limits. She told you she was done, that it was all over. You would never fight her on it, especially because you knew it was really over. There was no way you would be going after someone who almost killed you and disfigured you. Every time you looked in a mirror, you were forced to see the scars that littered your cheeks and forehead. A sick reminder of the bitter fight between you two.

You slowly walk downstairs, seeing Ellie’s figure in the kitchen. She has her backpack on the floor, loading a gun into the side pocket.

“What are you doing?” You ask bluntly. She turns around and you take note of her outfit. A couple of layers. A large brown jacket, jeans, and her Converse. She was going somewhere.

She looks at you, tears already welling in her eyes.

“Babe…”

You can hear your heartbeat in your ears. “Where are you going?”

You creep up to her slowly, your bare feet creaking across the hardwood.

She’s a foot away when she finally puts her hands out to stop you from coming closer.

“I… I think Tommy is right.”

If it was possible for someone to rip out your heart without opening up your chest, it was happening to you right now. This would be the worst pain.

“Right about what?” You manage as a whisper.

She takes in a long breath, “About Abby. About going after her.”

“No… Ellie, he’s not right.”

You try to move closer, but she takes a step back. She’s treating you like you are infected. But even that would not matter, she’s Ellie.

It makes you feel every negative emotion when she says the words, “I need to finish this. I told you… I told you I wouldn’t be at peace until I-”

“So why did we even come back, Ellie? How is this fucking fair to me?”

“You wanted to. We… we were fucked up. We didn’t have a chance.”

“And you think you do now?!”

She shakes her head, almost appalled by your statement. “I wasn’t broken like you were.”

You close your lids tightly, unsure how you could even look her in the eyes. Your fingernails are digging into your palms. You had this feeling for a while. An unsettled force that would occasionally bloom in the pit of your stomach when you watched Ellie. You would remind yourself that it’s over. The plot for revenge was buried deep in the ground.

So when she stands in front of you, ready to take off, you feel like you can’t breathe.

“Ellie, if you go, I will never forgive you. I will not wait for you.”

She’s silent, contemplating even for a moment. She has this look of determination. She has already made up her mind. “That’s your choice.”

She starts to pick up the bag, but you make one more silent plea before watching your life walk out the back door. You grab her hand quickly, stopping her from taking any steps.

“I thought you fuckin’ loved me, Ellie. I thought you said we were done.” You sob out, “You think Joel would want this for you? Do you really think he would want you to walk out that door?”

Deep down, you know that Joel would have gone to the ends of the earth for Ellie, especially if the roles were reversed. But he would also want her to have a life after him. And you were more sure of that than the latter.

She pulls her wrist away from your grasp. A look of pure betrayal playing across her features. You had not spoken his name in months. It sounds like a curse word to her coming from you. “You don’t know what he would want.”

“And you do?”

“He would have done the same for me.”

And she leaves. You think back to the first words she said to you when you entered her room over a year ago.

“I thought I told you that I want to be alone.”

And now she would be.

#haha I hurt #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams angst #tlou x reader #tlou fic #the last of us 2 #the last of us #ellie tlou #gracieheartspedro #fic: I bet on losing dogs

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ohmyenjolrass · 1 year ago

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take a chance on me | charlie dalton x fem!reader

summary: charlie dalton is obsessed with you and he mans up to ask you out on a date. you are secretly in love with him, but you can tell his intentions almost immediately.

pairings: charlie dalton x fem!reader

word count: 0.5k

warnings: none, but welton is a boys and girls school.

n/a: i was really looking forward to write something with charlie, and i am so excited for this one. i really hope you enjoy it. feel free to request anything! as always, english is not my first language, so there might be some mistakes, sorry in advance x

masterlist :)

"i'm gonna ask her out", charlie repeated for the thousandth time, staring at you from the other side of the common room.

"yeah, right.", knox teased him. "you always say the same thing but you never really do it."

"and also, what if y/n doesn't like you back?", wondered neil.

but charlie's ego was too big to break like that. and also, he had noticed how your eyes fixated on him when he wasn't looking, so, at least, you were interested in him.

"you can mock me all that you want, but i am going to do it.", charlie said, as he stood up. the rest of his friends stared at him in disbelief, with their mouths open.

you saw him approaching your group of friends and returned your sight to your latin homework, playing dumb. you knew your friends couldn't tell, but your heart rate was alarmingly fast as charlie was closer.

"hey, girls", he greeted you and your friends. "do you mind if i steal y/n from you one sec?"

you knew charlie wasn't asking for permission, he hardly ever did, so you stood up, closing your notebook. "what is it, charlie?"

"just a thing i wanted to ask you. come with me?"

you followed him to the corridor, which was empty, and waited for him to start talking. you and charlie weren't exactly friends, but you liked him. he was funny, and smart, and didn't have any problems to cause some trouble in school. he was also devastatingly charming, and every single girl in school would agree on that.

"so...", he started. "how was your day?"

"did you actually dragged me out of the common room to ask me about my day?", you laughed.

charlie fidgeted with the collar of his school shirt. "actually i wanted to ask you something."

"ask away, i'm not gonna bite you.", you said, jokingly.

"i was wondering if you had any plans this friday evening.", charlie said, and you flustered to your ears. your cheeks were so warm you even wondered if it was possible to be that red.

don't be an idiot, y/n. come on, woman up, you thought.

"um, no. i don't think so. why?"

"would you like to go out? like, with me?", he asked, and you could tell that he was blushing too. it was a rare sight to see charlie dalton blushing, but it was a very cute one.

"sure, yeah.", you replied, your hands trembling. you couldn't believe that. "anything planned?"

"i thought we could go to the cinema? if you're up to it."

"yeah. i love the movies.", a weird silence formed between the two of you, both too happy to say anything. then, you cleared your throat. "so, friday, 6pm?"

"perfect. i'll pick you up on your dorm."

you nodded, going back into the common room. a few moments later, charlie entered too, sitting with his friends. you could see his face between todd's and meeks' shoulders. he noticed you staring and winked at you. you lowered your head back to your homework.

and friday couldn't come fast enough.

#ro writes things #charlie dalton #charlie dalton x reader #dead poets society #dead poets society x reader #dps x reader #charlie dalton x fem!reader #charlie dalton fluff #charlie dalton imagine #charlie dalton fanfic

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mvltisstuff · 5 months ago

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hi!! could you possibly do a one-shot with evan buckley where reader is having a horrible time and asks to come over but once they do they attempt to undress buck and have (ya know) with him but he realizes like right after his shirt was taken off that reader is trembling and shaking.

maybe it’s because of a fight with their sibling or something but it ends with him just holding them until they fall asleep and he’s all like “i’m gonna marry them.”

OFC you can take this into a whole different route!! thank you so much in advance!

in for it - e.b

summary: when y/n gets hot, and especially bothered, buck has to figure out why.

evan buckley x reader

a/n: hi!! again, so sorry for how delayed this is, but i hope its still enjoyed for those willing to read :))

buck and y/n had been texting all day, shooting each other suggestive messages and flirty little remarks. buck knew he was in for a treat when he got home, considering all of the bold things his girl had said to him throughout his shift.

however, that was not the case. when he returned home, he called out for y/n, but got no response. he got slightly worried, but y/n's a big girl, she knows what she's doing. he placed his bags down by the front door and pulled out his phone.

Hey, just got home. Everything good?

Yeah. I'm on my way home

he obviously believed her, he has no reason to not trust her. so, he took a beer out of the fridge and went to go sit on the couch and wait for her.

when he heard the doorknob twist, he got a familiar feeling of excitement he always knew when y/n would come home. he heard her kick her shoes off and throw her bag down. it sounded louder than normal, so she must've been really excited to come home to him.

when she came over, she threw her jacket on one of the chairs, leaving her in jeans and a white tank top. she looked as beautiful as always, never needing to dress up for buck because anything she wore was pure fashion in his eyes.

"hey, sexy," buck flirted as she walked over to him. she instantly grabbed his face, pulling his lips onto hers. he could smell the wine on her breath and the taste of it on her tongue. her hands wandered around his neck, slightly gripping onto it. he could feel her racing heart against his own chest, almost faster than he has ever felt it. "how were things at joes?"

her fingers quickly ran down to the hem of his t-shirt, tucking underneath and starting to pull it up. right before the fabric covered his eyes, he took note of y/n's red eyes and furrowed brows with her jaw tight. "fuck him." she spat out after his face was out. he looked her directly in the eyes as her hands continued to wander down to his crotch.

her fingers twitched against his belt as she struggled to unbuckle it, and her breath became more hitched. her face had not changed expression, like she only wanted to get this over with. when she would take her hands away, the only thing buck could notice was her shaking.

'wait, wait-" buck starts. "slow down for a sec."

"are you not hard?"

"well, i was, because im always hard with you, but not anymore. i can't be when you're so visibly upset."

"i'm not upset," she murmurs under her breath, down on her knees in front of him.

"and im not blind, baby," he grabs onto her side and pulls her onto his lap. "tell me whats wrong."

"he acts like i owe him everything. he acts like i do nothing for our parents and he doesn't even want me as his sister. why do i always have to make everyone happy?"

"but you need to be happy first."

"he doesn't care."

"is that an explanation for why you tried to suck me off while being so pissed?"

"i thought i'd start with making you happy," she tells. "and you love blowjobs."

buck chuckles while running a hand down her back. "but you make me the happiest. and he's a douche. you deserve more as a sister and a daughter."

y/n grins at him, her body starting to calm down against his. "thank you. you make me happy, too."

"of course, angel," buck leans back to get a better look at the beautiful girl on his lap. "we can keep going if you want, but you look tired."

"i am, but i want you to be satisfied."

"i will be fully satisfied taking you upstairs, getting changed, pouring us more wine, and laying with you all night."

"are you sure?"

"i will spend the rest of my life assuring you that that is all i ever need from you."

she places a more gently hand on his cheek, pecking him on the lips and pulling away with a smile. "i love you."

"i love you, too." he taps her hip with his finger. "now, go put on our show and change, and ill go get the pinot gris."

#evan buckley #buck 911 #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley 911 #evan buckley fic #evan buck buckley x reader #evan buckley imagine #maddie buckley #911onfox #911 fic #911 fanfic #911 show #911 buck #eddie diaz #eddie diaz x reader #evan buckley x you

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enha-roza · 4 months ago

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FIRST TIME // SUNGHOON

Sunghoon x 8thmember!oc

warnings : smut kinda no plot, nicknames (princess, baby, pretty, slut..), safe sex, oral sex, big dick Sunghoon, a little angsty but fluffy by the end. continuation of first kisses

wc : 1.4k

Sunghoon was very possessive, so when he found out the other members had all kissed Roza before him, he was a 'little' jealous. “You kissed all of them before me!”. “Not like I planned it, it just happened!”. The two were yelling back and forth after the other members went out to eat. Sunghoon getting worked up, accused her of purposely leaving him out. “Well you could have been a little more considerate!”. “Ughh, you only think about yourself! This whole four boyfriends thing is hard okay!”. Tears welling up in her eyes. “I constantly feel like I'm not enough. I find it hard to distribute my attention across all four of you… I feel like I can't do it…”.

Sunghoon froze, now realizing how his words had affected her. More tears fell as she turned away from him, ashamed to cry in this moment. His arms wrapped around her, head leaning down to whisper in her hair. “I'm sorry for yelling at you, I didn't mean it. I know that's not an excuse, I got frustrated and took it out on you”. Roza’s sniffles quieted as she calmed her breathing. Turning around she looked Sunghoon in the eyes, seeing his regret. He reached up cupping her face, wiping her tears with his thumb.

Wrapping her arms around his neck as she spoke. “It's okay… this is new for all of us… it's gonna take time for us to get used to it”. Sunghoon's heart pounded in his chest at her words. “You're too kind, you know?”. “You think?”. “Yeah…” his eyes staring down at her lips. “Can i?”. “Yes please…” she whispered, pulling him in to kiss her.

Finally Sunghoon tastes her lips as he pushes her against the wall behind them. Their lips rushing as heat rises quickly. Sunghoon grunts as he pushes his tongue past Roza’s lips. Roza very happily accepts his advances. “God, I can't believe you made me wait for this”. “Shut up and kiss me”. Sunghoon didn't need to be told twice before diving in again, capturing her plump lips in between his own.

Sunghoon leans his head down as he kisses down her jaw and neck. Roza moans and he bites into her neck before his tongue runs over the mark to soothe the pain. “Aren't you adorable… moaning and whining all for me”. She nods her head. Sunghoon grabs her chin before whispering. “Say it… say who's making you feel like this”. “You… you are Sunghoon Oppa…”. He smirks showing his fangs. Feeling himself get hard at her words, he leans in, needing her lips on his again.

Slowly walking til the back of her legs hit the edge of Sunghoons bed. Watching his eyes as they gloss over looking down at her. “You really wanna do this?”. “Please… I need it Oppa”. Sunghoon smirks, happy to see his princess weak for him. “Good because I don't think I can hold back any longer”. Pushing her to lay back on his bed, Sunghoon fits between her legs as he continues their make out. Once again leaving kisses down her neck as goes lower and lower. Settling at her thighs, he pushes her skirt up leaving small kisses and hickeys all over. “Look how pretty…” His fingers brushing over the marks in adoration.

Sliding his finger over her pantie covered clit, just slow enough to tease her. “Mmm, more… I need more!”. “Yeah pretty? want me… tell me, where do you want me?” She sighs as Sunghoon applies more pressure. “In me! Need you in me!”. His fingers pull her panties to the side, teasing her clit as he slowly slides in two middle fingers in.

Moans leave Roza’s lips as Sunghoon pushes his fingers in fully, pulling back out to do it all over again. His eyes rack over her body, so prettily laid out, head thrown back as the prettiest sounds leave her lips. “You're so good for me princess”. The nickname making her clench around his fingers. “You like that name, don't you… princess knows how to make me smile”. His smirk widening as she whines out at his words.

He slides her panties off and pulls her top up past her tit. His fingers slid in and out faster and harder and he pulls her tits out of her bra bringing his lips to suck on her nipple. Her hands automatically go to his hair pulling as she moans, all the pleasure taking her over. “I'm close… a little more” Her voice straining as the constant whines get higher and higher.

Sunghoon could feel her clenching around him tighter and tighter, she was close. His head dips down as his tongue runs over her clit. “Ahhhh, right there!”. His fingers dip deeper as he brings her to her climax. His tongue collects all her cum as she tries pushing his head away from overstimulation.

“Want me baby?”. She nods. “No, you're words princess. Let me hear you”. “Need you now… please! Need more!”. “Say it again, you got to beg for it baby”. Roza begins to beg and whine for his cock, coming down from her high. “Please- please Oppa… need you now! I can take it, please!”. Sunghoon, feeling his pants tighten even more, can't help but give in. “yeah, need me… of course you do”.

Pulling down his pants, Roza’s eyes on his huge bulge. “Like what you see?”. She nods her head, mouth watering just at the sight of him. “Why don't you help me out? Need a little attention myself”. Roza quickly gets to her knees, pulling down his underwear. Grabbing him at his base, then bringing her hand to his tip, smearing his precum.

“Hurry up princess, wanna have my fun with you before the others get back”. She quickly does as he says, not wanting the other to walk in on them. Her tongue poking out, leaving kitten licks all over his veiny cock. Sunghoon’s hand glides into her hair, grabbing a handful to push her head down. Roza allows him to push her head down half way, before pulling her back up his cock.

“You like when I pull your hair? You slut… know how to please me…” softs grunts in between words as he pushes her all the way, making her gag. “Good girl... taking all of me". He groans as he continues to push her down his cock. "A little more princess, I'm so close”. Roza determined to please him, breathes though her nose and let's him face fuck her until he’s pulling her off cumming right on her lips.

Her tongue licks his sweet cum off before swallowing and showing her empty mouth. “How good you are… lay back down princess, need to be in you bad”. She didn't need to be told again, quickly laying on her back as Sunghoon went and got a condom. Coming back, he slips it on before teasing her entrance. “Hmmm, please. Don't tease me”. “Why shouldn't i? You sound so pretty”.

Right as she goes to beg once more, she gets interrupted by Sunghoon pushing his tip in. Slowly pushing in fully and groaning as she tightens around him. "you okay?" Sunghoon groans as Roza closes her eyes feeling the stretch. “ahhhh, so good… more!” Sunghoon can't help but deny her any longer. Moans fill the room as Sunghoon slowly gets faster and faster. Looking down Sunghoon sees the bulge in her stomach, running his hand over it, eyebrows coming together as he feels his cock pulse. "too big!". "you can take it...". The burn feels so good as Roza holds on to the bed sheets for her life.

Sunghoon's head leans down forehead touching Roza's. "you look so pretty...". A whine leaves her lips in response. "feel good baby?". "yeahhh... so good!". Sunghoon's cheeks hurt as he smiles down at his princess all worked up because of him. “So good! Ughmmm”. Sunghoon, peppering more kisses up her neck and jaw before kissing her on her lips. Pulling back up, his hands grab her waist as he pounds into her, leaving bruises. Roza’s eyes fighting to stay open as her head leans back in pleasure.

“Keep your eyes on me baby” Sunghoon grunted as he grabbed her chin. “Wanna see you fall apart on my cock” She moans as her high approaches, eyes half lidded as they look into Sunghoon’s. His hand reaches down to play with her clit, bringing more noise out of her lips as she cums. Sunghoon's following suit cumming into the condom as she clench's around him, a low groan slipping out as he comes down from his high.

“Fuck… that was so good”. “Mmm”. “can't talk baby? Fuck you that good?”. Roza closes her eyes, nodding as she hides her face behind her hands. “Don't hide from me! You look so good like this… you're glowing”. Both pulled out of their sentimental moment when Sunghoon’s phone dings. “Shit, what's the time?”. “Fuck they'll be back soon”. Sunghoon quickly picks Roza up bridal style and takes her to the shower to clean off.

Both helping clean each other off, letting the warm water run over them. They held each other as they relaxed after a stressful day. “They will be back any minute, so I'm gonna clean my room. Don't want them suspecting anything”. Roza smiled as Sunghoon leaned down getting another kiss from her before getting out. Roza smiled to herself, having her first time with Sunghoon was not how she expected her day to go. But nonetheless she was happy.

a/n : really happy with how this turned out. am planning to do first times for the other hyung line members, so stay tuned!! xoxo

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lincolndjarin · 1 year ago

Text

Best Kept Secret

chapter twenty six : crucifixion

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 12.7k

summary : judgement day.

warnings: major character death, above canon typical violence, very brief references to suicide, torture, body horror (briefly), feelings of despair, blood, wounds, general kodo grossness, vomit (reader vomits several times, it is never described in detail), language, angst, brief smut, pregnancy, death, reader is not doing well in this like she's at a breaking point, i may have missed some so feel free to let me know.

a/n: please read the warnings on this chap! it's the most serious of the bks updates, definitely a bit more intense than the rest. gonna work on getting 27 out within the next few day. i've been terrified of releasing this chapter since i started writing it so once i post this i'm going to dig a hole and sit in it and hide for a while lmao.

i changed my editing style so if there's spelling errors lmk!! apologies in advance!!

“My room is too big.”

He bursts into genuine peals of laughter and you gently smack his arm.

“Don’t laugh, it’s a serious issue! My room is enormous.” You’re giggling along with him now, it’s the hardest you’ve ever heard him laugh. You both just laugh for a few minutes, as if each other's company is the most amusing thing in the world.

Once your giggles fizzle out you wait another moment before breaking the silence.

“Where did you grow up?” You can’t see him but you can sense where he sits in the darkness, you crawl forward so you’re sitting between his legs, your own legs wrap around his waist. “I’m just curious.”

“Aq Vetina.” You can’t recall anything about the planet. You aren’t even sure you’ve heard of it.

“Do you remember your parents well? You don’t talk about them very much.” You put your hands on his shoulders, ever so slowly moving them up to his neck until you’re cupping his face.

“I’ll never forget them.” He whispers.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We can’t change the past.” You rub your nose against his, bumping them together as you hum and nod. “My mother loved ships. We didn’t travel, we never had a reason to, but she would take me outside and we’d watch ships fly past. I could never comprehend how she knew the name for all of them, it blew my mind.” You wrap your arms around his neck, staying silent in hopes that he’ll continue, he so rarely speaks so much. “My father worked a lot but he always made time for us, he was always home in time to say goodnight to me. He was always around when I needed him, he always provided for us. On his day off he’d spend the whole day cooking, I’d sit on the kitchen counter and tell him what my mother and I had done that week. When she’d come home we’d all eat dinner together.”

“You sound like you were a happy child.” You can’t help but smile.

“I never had reason to be otherwise.” He says it so matter of factly that you don’t doubt it for a second. He was loved. It only makes you smile wider.

“What were you like, as a child?”

“Well behaved.” You immediately begin laughing once more.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Believe it. My mother homeschooled me, she always made sure I had manners. I wasn’t particularly athletic or talkative so I didn’t play with other kids a lot. It was just me and mama.” He sounds far away, it makes you want to hold him close and never let him go.

“So what did you do all day?” Your tone has softened significantly.

“I would sew.”

“Be serious.” He’s the one who laughs now at the disbelief in your voice.

“I am! I would sit with my mother after my lessons and we’d sew.” His fingertips dance along the back of your neck as he reminisces.

“What kinds of things?” You don’t tease. When you really think about it you suppose such a hobby is fitting for him. A task that requires precision and care.

“I would help her make clothes and blankets that she would sell most days. On the weekends she’d let me do whatever I wanted so I would practice my embroidery.”

“My heart is actually about to explode out of my chest, you’re so cute.” You put on a mocking tone but the thought of such a thing really does make your heart clench. “Little Din Djarin stitching his name into his clothes.”

“You’re a cruel woman.” He leans forward, knocking his forehead against yours, almost as if he were reprimanding you.

“What sorts of things would you embroider?” Your tone goes back to genuine, you could listen to him talk about himself for days and you’d never get bored.

“Whatever my mother wanted. I would ask her what I should do and then I’d stitch it onto her blanket or the hem of her skirt. Mostly flowers, she loved daisies.” You’re pretty sure one of your ovaries literally popped at the thought of a little boy with dark curls and big brown eyes sitting beside his mother and embroidering a daisy onto her skirt. Your heart flutters a bit as you think of the necklace he got you. The silver outline of a flower you now realize is a daisy. “If he was ever gone for more than one night for work my father would bring her daisies, one for each day he was away.”

“Do you still know how?”

“I used to fix Grogu’s clothes when he ripped them but I haven’t done much else since I was a boy. He says it with finality but you carry on, not wanting him to stop talking.

“What were their names? Your parents?”

“Clara and Arin Djarin.”

“Those are pretty names.”

“What was it like for you? You said you had seven siblings right?”

“Eight actually.” You think of them now. There were eight of you and your parents' love for all of you combined wasn’t even a tenth of how much Din’s parents loved him.

“Do you like having a big family?” He lifts you off of his lap, laying you back down as he crawls on top of you, laying against your chest.

“I love it. I miss my siblings everyday, do you think we’ll be able to visit them someday?”

“If it’s safe to, of course we will.” He tilts his head, if you weren’t in darkness he’d be looking at you.

“I wish they had visited here. They would have loved you.”

“You think?”

“Are you kidding me? The younger ones would adore you.” You tangle your finger in his hair, scratching his scalp. “Kids just naturally like you.”

“They just haven’t learned to fear me.” You frown when he says it like a fact.

“I think it’s more than that.”

“Yeah?” The hopeful tilt to his voice has you leaning down to press a kiss into his hair.

“Kids are intuitive, they can sense that you’re a good person.” He tenses up as you tell him he’s a good person. You know exactly what he’s thinking about now, how he punched your husband and then refused to leave.

Neither one of you wants to talk about that though, not today.

“What kind of room would you want? Since your current room isn’t to your liking.” He’s quick to change the subject and you let him.

“In all honesty, I like the cabin, I wish we could just live there.” You run your fingers through his curls as you think about it, gently pulling through any tangles.

“My cabin?” His voice is full of uncertainty as he pulls back a bit.

“It’s nice.” You feel a bit defensive, you consider the cabin to be the closest thing you have to a home. “Can you imagine getting to stay on Naboo? We could spend our mornings walking the market.” You rest your hand on the back of his neck now. “We could get jobs in the city, and then at night we’d come home.”

“To the cabin?” He still sounds rather skeptical of your hypothetical future.

“I’d cook dinner, you’d do the chores.”

“The cabin’s a bit small for us.”

“We’d make it a bit bigger, add a few bedrooms, we don’t need that much space.”

“A few?” He turns his head, his lips brush against your collar briefly as he kisses you there, freezing up when you speak again.

“At least two, one for us and then some for any little Djarin’s who might need space.” With that he sits up entirely, his legs straddle your stomach.

“Little Djarin’s?”

“And Grogu, he would come live with us as well.”

“You’d want him to live with us?”

“Of course, he’s a little Djarin.” Your hands rest on his thighs now as he seemingly ponders above you. He hums to himself in silence for a moment and you can’t help but grin at how seriously he’s taking all of this.

“How many?” He finally speaks again and you laugh at the bluntness of his question.

“Kids?”

“How many would you want?”

“You go first.” You haven’t ever talked about this sort of thing so you want to gauge his answer first so you don’t scare him too much with all the kids talk.

“Maybe five? Or six.”

“Six?” Your voice pitches up immediately and you feel a rumble in his chest as he laughs.

“Or five.”

“How about two, counting Grogu.” Turns out you didn’t need to worry about scaring him off.

“How about three?” Three is manageable.

“Counting Grogu?”

“Counting Grogu.” He seems satisfied with that.

“I suppose we could have three, you’re the one who has to build all the extra bedrooms.”

“I don’t mind.”

“I’d work at the library and you’d work in a shipyard, we’d take turns staying home with the kids.” You pull him back to you, taking his hands and dragging him to lay his head on your chest once more.

“I’ve got enough savings, neither one of us has to work if you’d like.” It sends a twinge of pain to your heart how real this conversation has become, knowing that this exact dream isn’t possible.

You could always make parts of it real.

Someday.

“I’d want to work, to get out of the house, but you could stay home if you’d like.”

“When they’re still ik’aad, at least for the first few years I’d want to be with them.” He’s going to be a wonderful father.

“Then I’d work, not long hours, just enough to get me out of the house, when I come home I’d give you a break, you could do the shopping and I’d watch the little’s.”

“We’d go as a family, I wouldn’t want ‘a break.’”

“You’d want to wrangle three kids in the markets?” You scoff in disbelief but he continues to sound completely serious.

“They’d be well behaved.” You seriously doubt that.

“What about either one of us makes you think our children will be well behaved? Is Grogu well behaved?”

“We’ll manage.”

“They’ll be wild.” They will, not they would.

“And smart.” He sits up again, hovering above you to give you a quick kiss.

“And happy.” There isn’t a doubt in your mind that your children would be happy with Din as their father.

“You’d really want to live here? I could build us a house anywhere.”

“I like Naboo, at least everything outside of the castle. I don’t even mind the castle, I just don’t care for the people inside it.” It’s true, somewhere along the way this place grew on you immensely. You love the city and the people in it. “And they’d get to play in the garden.”

“I would build you a cabin anywhere you wanted, and I’d plant you a new garden.” He kisses along your cheeks and forehead as he speaks.

“You wouldn’t need to plant me a garden if we lived here.” You insist.

“We can’t live here, mesh’la.” He rubs a small circle with his thumb against your cheek. “This is too serious now, we’re supposed to be relaxed today.”

“When did we agree on that?” You muster up a weak laugh.

“It was a silent mutual agreement.”

“I’m plenty relaxed.” You mumble. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his stubble tickling you as you let out an airy giggle.

“I’m actually very tense and I think we should take a break from all this talking and take care of that.” He mumbles against your shoulder.

“Oh?”

“Mhmm.” He emphasizes his point by pressing his erection against your hip, you hadn’t even realized that this is where he was going with that.

“How long have you been waiting to jump me?”

“When we started talking about the five kids I was gonna put in you.” He continues to nip at your neck and shoulders as he speaks.

“Skipping the agreed upon three and going straight to five already? You’re not even going to attempt to negotiate for four?”

“So you’re open to four?” He pulls back and you can hear his smile.

“Let’s start with one and go from there.”

“Right now?” His hips stutter down a bit against yours.

“Maker, you’re insatiable.” You both burst into another fit of laughter.

“What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“I could get pregnant, and considering the lack of sex I’ve had with my husband I’m sure that might raise a few eyebrows.”

“It would never get to that point, when we’re in the clear with this whole Kodo mess I’m getting you out of here.”

“Like… actually leaving Naboo?”

“Exactly like that. I’m gonna take you far away from here when this is over, gonna keep you all for myself.” His hands move down, giving your hips a squeeze.

“I’m already yours.” You laughed, rolling over to be on top of him. He’s right, if you’re going to leave anyway then what’s the worst thing that could happen?

You never talked about that night after that.

When everything sorted itself out you realized how crazy your fear had made you. You couldn’t just leave. At least that’s what you’d told yourself, now you feel like an idiot for not holding him to his words. It wasn’t realistic, you both knew actually leaving would take so much more preparation than a few whispered ideas during a time where neither one of you was in any position to be making such promises.

It was just talk.

Lysa came to get you from the dining room.

After everyone left you had no motivation to move, you just stood there, frozen in time. After a few hours she found you, she had taken your hand and walked you back to your chambers. She held your hand, she kept you upright when you threatened to crumble. And when you felt a wave of nausea ripple through you she rushed you to the fresher, a hand on your back as you threw up all over again.

You sat breathlessly on the tile, Lysa rubbing your back.

“Gods, I’ve been nauseous since the wedding. Even before everything fell apart.” It’s the first words you’ve spoken since they took Din, your stomach is still churning. “This has never happened before.” You groan, you’ve had many moments of upset throughout your life, but none that made you physically ill. Lysa looks almost painfully worried.

“Ma’am… is there a chance you might be…”

Kriff.

You never talked about that night after that.

Maybe you should have.

You both did a lot of things during those days. You had been so angry, and he had done everything in his power to ease that anger, to keep both of you as happy as someone could be in your situation.

You shouldn’t have used that as an excuse to be reckless.

“I’d like to go to bed.”

“Of course.” She helps you to your feet, walking you back to your room, you turn to her one last time before you close the door.

“I’m sorry. Elaine never should have gotten involved in all this.” You’d trade places with her in a heartbeat if you could.

“It’s not your fault.” She truly seems to believe that.

Except it is. Elaine never would have found herself in this situation if she hadn’t so often been helping the two of you keep your secret.

“Goodnight, Lysa.”

“Goodnight, princess.”

You lay on the bed, unable to bring yourself to sleep in the closet.

It’s cold. Colder than Hoth, as you stare at the ceiling in your far too big bed in your far too big room. Even bigger now that it’s just you.

You let your hand roam down your torso to rest on your stomach.

Just you, hopefully.

☆

You’re now having nightly dinners with Kodo.

You don’t get any respite from him, you just want to stay in bed. You’re nauseous and tired and your head hasn’t stopped spinning since that night. A million thoughts a minute.

Where is he?

Is he okay?

What the fuck can I do about it?

Mostly that.

The worst part is your lack of a plan. If the roles were reversed Din would have already rescued you and you’d be living happily ever after.

But that isn’t how your story is going. Instead you are alone, with no scheme on how to get to him. It’s only been three days but it’s driving you insane, you have never known such hopelessness, it’s maddening. To sit alone in your room all day, staring at the ceiling until Lysa comes to dress you for dinner. Neither one of you ever speaks, afterall, what would you say to each other?

“I’m sorry the love of your life had been sentenced to die?”

How morbid.

Not that you’re above being morbid.

You think about it often. How easy it would be to drive your dinner knife into Kodo’s throat. You’re seated beside him now at dinner, both of you at the head of the table, joined by the rest of his family.

The thought of killing him is the only thing that brings you peace these days. You’ve never once in your life been violent until now. Din is good. He’s a good man. In every way he is the opposite of your husband yet Din is the one locked away, Maker knows where, while Kodo is being rewarded.

It doesn’t make you mad, it makes you furious.

It makes you want to poison his wine.

But you don’t have poison.

And you can’t put yourself in danger. Because you feel fundamentally different, and even if you refuse to think that such a thing is possible you know you wouldn’t just be putting yourself in danger. There’s more at stake now.

That’s what you tell yourself to stay calm, a feat that is getting harder by the minute as you’re sat beside Kodo who is currently bragging about how he defeated a Mandalorian.

“They aren’t as strong as you think they are. Under the armor they’re weak, pathetic.”

It took six battle droids to keep him down. You didn’t even get near him.

“Some people just need to be taught a lesson, don’t touch what isn’t yours.” He sneers and the rest of the table erupts into laughter. “I certainly taught that horned bitch a lesson as well, you all should have seen what they brought me last night.”

You perk up, this is the only thing they’ve said in days that truly matters to you. You’ve heard nothing about the current state of either of them until now.

“What did they do to Elaine?” Everyone’s head turns to you, all their expressions look as if you’ve announced something treasonous but Kodo smiles as if he were explaining something to a child.

“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.” He puts his hand over yours when he says it.

You don’t ask for any follow up.

You don’t think you could stomach it, so you stay silent for the rest of your meal. When you’re finished you stand, the rest of the table is starting to pour more drinks but you simply lean down, mumbling something about being tired before giving Kodo a quick kiss on the cheek and dismissing yourself.

You’re waiting for the night where he joins you in your chambers, after all his father is dead, but it has yet to happen. He had told you that once he was king he would be in need of heirs but he seems happy enough with his pleasure houses and you’re more than grateful for the women you entertain him so you don’t have to.

So you return to your chambers alone, peeling off your gown before burying yourself under the covers.

Sleep evades you as you toss and turn. You aren’t even tired, there’s too much going on in your mind, there’s no room for exhaustion. After about an hour you manage to drift in and out of unconsciousness, earning a brief reprieve from your anxieties until a sharp knocking has you jolting upright.

You don your robe, rubbing sleep from your eyes as you rush to the door, you’re too tired to wonder who might even be bothering you at such an hour as you pull the door open.

Lysa?

“We have to hurry, ma’am.” She grabs your arm, frantically tugging you into the hall.

“Lysa? What are you doing? Are you okay?”

“I am fine, but we don’t have much time.”

“Surely you have enough to tell me where we are going.”

“Do you want to see him or not?”

Din.

You nod, taking her hand as he rushes onward, stopping at each hall to peer around the corners until you make your way to a servants stairwell, skipping several steps in your descent until you run out of stairs. You’ve never been down here, you didn’t even know there were dungeons until recently.

It makes your stomach twist in knots the moment you stare into the darkness.

“Are there no guards?” You whisper, squeezing her hand.

“Not for the next hour, I’ve made sure of it.” She begins walking down the poorly lit corridor, pulling you along behind her.

The stone floor is damp and it smells of mildew. Your bare feet are already freezing after just a few steps.

Every cell you pass is lit from the outside with a hanging lantern, they’re mostly empty, but you catch glimpses of movement out of the corner of your eye every now and then. In all honesty you’re doing your best to take in as little as possible, you don’t want to think about Din being down here in such a place, but there’s one element you can’t ignore.

The wailing.

Someone is weeping, a low, sorrowful song filling the vast maze of halls and you realize quickly you’re heading in its direction, Lysa tenses beside you as you continue on. You’re about to turn one more corner when she abruptly stops, turning to face you.

“He needs to eat.” She removes a fistful of rations from her apron pocket, shoving them into your hands.

“He hasn’t?” He’s been down here for three days.

“He won’t… let me.” You pause, cocking your head to the side and she gives you an apologetic look when she turns. “He won’t let me uncover his face.”

Oh.

“I’ll feed him.” You nod slowly, tucking them into your own pockets before turning the corner. The contents of the cell immediately on your right have you stumbling backwards but Lysa is not swayed, pulling a key from her pocket, unlocking the door quickly before handing it to you.

“He’s two cells down, on your right.” She doesn’t look at you as she rushes in, pulling a roll of bandages from her dress. “Shh… it’s okay, I’m here.” Her voice goes soft as she kneels beside Elaine. You can’t help it as you step into the entryway of the cell.

Well, you’ve found the source of the wailing.

She’s sat on a cot, curled in on herself as Lysa carefully peels back a series of soiled bandages from her face.

“I’ve got you, it’s just me.” She continues to make an attempt to sooth a rather hysterical Elaine as she peels back the final layer of bandages and your stomach flips. “You’re okay, love, I need to change these.” You don’t know how Lysa is so calm, even in the darkness you can see the extent of her wounds. Now you know what they brought Kodo last night.

Both eyes.

“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.”

Oh gods.

You’re worried you may collapse as you watch Lysa tend to her with no hesitation, cleaning them with a careful hand before she begins to redress them. You can’t bear to watch any longer as Elaine begins sobbing once more. You try desperately to force the sight of your mutilated friend from your mind as you count down two more cells before quickly fumbling for the lock, letting it hit the floor as you take the lantern outside the door off its hook, bringing it into the dark room.

It isn’t like Elaine’s cell.

There’s no bed or interior light, it’s terribly dark and fetid, his cell running deeper than her’s. It takes a few steps for you to finally illuminate the room enough to see him.

Maker.

What have they done to your Din?

You don’t hear Elaine anymore, there isn't a single thing that could distract you from the scene in front of you. There is nothing but the sight of your kar’ta. There’s too much for you to worry about, you don’t even know where to start, you’re frozen in place, a small part of your brain refuses to recognize the man before you as Din at all. He shouldn’t look like this.

Armorless.

They’ve stripped him of any clothing you recognize, the thought alone makes you nearly lose your dinner.

They took his helmet, replacing it with a linen sack.

Did they see his face?

You briefly have to shut your eyes, taking a deep breath as you take in the rest of him. His clothes are too thin, he must be freezing, they’ve dressed him in a cotton tunic and trousers that end just below the knee. You can see just how beaten and bruised he is. Unlike Elaine he’s in chains, kneeling on the floor with his hands shackled, taut above his head. You swallow the lump in your throat and finally crouch down in front of him, setting the lantern down beside you as you reach out to place a hand on his chest.

“Din…” Your voice cracks and the moment you come in contact with him he flinches back. Suddenly you know how Lysa held it together so well with Elaine, she just had to. You can’t fall apart, who would care for him now if you did? “It’s me, just me. Just me.” You whisper and place a hand over his heart but withdraw it quickly when he trembles under your touch. You ache at the sight of it but more than anything you’re confused, it only takes a moment for you to realize the issue.

He doesn’t have his helmet. They’ve not only left him here blind, but deaf, of course any touch would frighten him.

He assumes you're here to harm him.

You lean in, careful not to come in contact with him as you speak clearly and loudly.

“Din?” His trembling stops instantly. You find it a bit troublesome how much worse his hearing seems to have gotten in such a short time, you’re half tempted to reach under the bag to make sure he still has his ears.

“Sarad?” Oh, Din. His voice is terribly small and it sends you forward, wrapping your arms around him as you pull him into an unreciprocated embrace.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You make sure to speak loud enough for him before pulling back, placing your hands against the fabric covering his face.

“Are you okay?” He coughs a bit as he asks and you almost laugh at how ridiculous the question is considering the state he’s in. Are you okay?

Technically no.

But far better than he’s doing.

“I’m perfectly fine, what can I do for you? Are you hurting?” You feel his face through the bag as you look down across his body. It doesn’t look like there’s been any permanent damage outside of a pretty nasty cut on one of his legs.

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Now’s not the time to play the hero, Din.” He flinches a little and you calm your tone immediately. What the hell did they do to him? “Just let me help.”

“How’d you get down here?”

“Lysa, she says you aren’t eating.”

“She’d have to lift my- the bag to do it.” He sounds apologetic, as if you could ever fault him for following his creed.

“It’s okay… may I?” You bring your hands to the hem of the bag but his head turns sharply.

“I- I don’t want you to look.”

You have no response. He’s always wanted you to look.

“I just, I don’t think you wanna see the condition I’m in. I don’t want your only memories of my face to be this.” He whispers when you don’t respond.

You should have looked when he asked you to. You should have done a lot of things differently.

You shouldn’t have waited so long to look.

You shouldn't have waited so long to tell him you loved him.

You should have just let yourself love him. Why did you fight it for so long? It seems silly now. If you could do it all again you would have just taken his helmet off the first night you met him and you would have married him right then and there. You would have left Naboo that night.

And you would never keep any of it from him. You would tell him how important he is and how loved he is, you wouldn’t make him wait.

Even now you can’t help it though, censoring yourself out of fear. Do you tell him about how nauseous you get every morning? About the way Lysa stares at your belly when she does your makeup?

No.

It wouldn’t do either of you any good, not when he’s in this situation.

You take hold of the edges of the bag once more, gentler this time.

“I’ll close my eyes.” You lift the fabric completely off of him, setting it in your lap as you simultaneously shut your eyes. You keep one hand on his face, using your thumb to find the corner of his mouth as your other hand fumbles to open a ration bar. You feel him part his lips as you feed him. He’s barely chewing, eating quickly and swallowing most of it whole. “Have they fed you at all?” You whisper as he finishes the first bar in a matter of seconds, his teeth lightly scraping against your fingers before you withdraw them, tearing open another bar.

“No.” His voice is still soft as you go to feed him once more, opening each package until he’s eaten them all.

“Are you still hungry? I could see if Lysa has more.”

“I’m okay.” You let your head fall forward, resting your forehead on his.

“What else can I do for you?”

“Nothing. Being here is enough.”

If you had felt helpless before it was nothing compared to this. This is more than helplessness, it’s despair.

“I’m sorry.” You pull yourself further into his lap, wrapping your arms around him in the process.

“Hey… none of this is your fault.” It certainly feels like it is. Why does he keep comforting you when he’s the one shivering and alone down here?

“Please, there has to be something I can do to help you.”

“There is one thing.” You almost open your eyes, you're so relieved, you just want to ease his pain.

“Anything. I’ll do anything.”

“I need you to promise me you won’t look.”

“Won’t look?” Your eyes are already closed, you couldn’t look any less if you tried.

“When they do it. I don’t want you to see it- it won’t be pretty.”

When they separate his head from his body.

“I won’t.” You can’t deny him this, you’ll give him anything he wants. “Do you know how much I love you?” You whisper before leaning forward another inch to kiss him.

The question is genuine. It terrifies you to your core to think that he may not know just how much you love him.

“Of course sarad.” He murmurs against your lips until you let your head rest on his shoulder, fighting back tears.

What do you say now?

What do you say to a man condemned to death?

“I love you.” You mumble into the thin fabric of his tunic.

“I love you too.” After a moment more with him you hear metal jingling as Lysa locks Elaine's cell once more. You quickly pull back from him, pulling the bag back over his head, once you know he can’t see you anymore the tears flow freely. Lysa steps into the cell and you remove your robe, wrapping it around him, immediately he begins to protest.

“Mesh’la, you can’t leave this here.” His voice is strained and it makes you sick to think he started crying once he was out of sight as well.

“Please, y-you’re gonna freeze.”

“They’ll know you were here, sarad’ika.”

“Din…” You’re practically babbling as Lysa removes your robe from his shoulders, an apologetic look on her face as she grabs your arm.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we need to go.” Tears sting your eyes as Lysa urges you to hurry but you don’t want to leave him, you want to stay, no matter the consequence. You pull away from her, wrapping your arms around his torso.

“You need to go.” His voice is urgent through the fabric as you cling to him tighter.

Would it be easier to just stay? Get caught and join him at the executioners? You’re genuinely considering it when you feel your stomach churn once more and you’re reminded of the exact reason why you can’t stay. Before you lose your nerve and shatter completely you lift the bag, just enough to give you an eyeful of his split lip and bruised jaw as you gently lean in and kiss him one more time.

Doing everything in your power to remember exactly what it feels like.

The curve of his lips and the shape of his chin, the overgrown stubble brushing against your skin as you press your face harder against his, desperation taking over as you taste salt on his lips. You hold him as long as you can, until you hear Lysa urging you to make haste once more.

“I love you.” You press your forehead to his through the fabric, feeling the familiar shape of his face against yours.

“I’ll always be yours.”

That was the last thing he was able to say before you let Lysa drag you out of the dungeons.

☆

It’s like everythings suddenly back to the beginning.

You wake up alone, you go to bed alone, and you wander the castle alone.

There is no plotting or scheming to free Din.

Even if you were a trained killer or bounty hunter, it would be more than difficult to get him out of the dungeon and on a ship off Naboo. It would be even harder to do so when you’re one of the most recognizable people on the planet.

He is buried deep beneath the ground and there is nothing you can do about it.

After all, you're just a doll.

You don’t know when it happened but all your clothes are blue again. Every dress Lysa fetches from the closet is a different shade of blue and all your nightgowns are the color of the sky. A personal brand put on you by Kodo. It’s clearly more than just a preference now, it’s a reminder to you and everyone else that you’re his.

And time blends.

You know a date was set right around the time you visited him. One week until Kodo’s coronation and two until the execution. His first public event after being crowned king will be a death sentence, how fitting.

So you wake.

And you sleep.

And you walk.

Kodo never replaces Din and you haven’t seen Leo since that night, so you’re completely alone. It’s like he’s rubbing in the fact that you’re powerless. There’s no need for you to have a guard, you can’t leave. If you tried you’d be escorted back in an instant.

You tried to convince Lysa to let you see him again last night.

“Please, just a few minutes-“

“I’m sorry ma’am, it’s just not possible. The only reason I was able to get you down there the first time was because the guard that usually lets me in was working nights, he won’t be working nights again until next month.”

Din won’t live to see next month.

“Is he eating?”

“He won’t let me-“

“You need to insist. Tell him I insist, and tell him you’ll close your eyes.”

She pins back a bit of your hair, leaving half up and half down. You both bask in the silence for a moment.

“I’ll make sure he eats.”

“Thank you.”

That had been the last conversation you had with Lysa.

She doesn’t come to dress you in the morning. You think nothing of it and dress yourself in the gown she’d laid out last night. It’s a bit difficult, putting your coronation gown on on your own but eventually you manage, when you’re fully dressed in the obscenely decadent blue fabric you begin to worry.

You have no reason to assume that everything is fine. It would actually make sense for this to be a worst case scenario situation, everything else in your life is right now.

You’re about to leave in search of her but you decide against it. Sitting at the vanity and doing your makeup as quickly as possible, the last thing you need to do right now is give Kodo a reason to be upset with you, you have to be presentable. You smear the shimmering blue eyeshadow across your lids before rushing out of your room.

The halls are full. Servants move quickly from room to room, cleaning every inch as you carefully push through the crowds, making a beeline towards the dining room.

Kodo is seething when you push open the large doors.

He stands at the end of the table, shoving an armored guard as the veins in his neck jut out in his rage.

“Where could she have possibly gone? She’s blind. You’re telling me some blind bitch outsmarted my entire guard?”

Your heart flutters at the thought.

They escaped.

Your hope is shattered the moment Kodo begins speaking again.

“At least we still have the Mandalorian… I want security tripled, guards stationed outside his cell at all times.” He continues grumbling for a moment until he realizes you’re there. “Happy coronation day dear wife! I’m afraid we’ve had a rough morning here, somehow in the night the Togruta girl escaped, do not fret, we’ll find her.”

God's you hope not.

Even if things are worse than ever regarding Din there is one flicker of light in that darkness. Lysa got Elaine out. Knowing that almost puts you at ease.

“Happy coronation day.” You actually manage a smile when you look at your husband, it’s weak but it’s genuine. You want to be mad that they didn’t help Din escape but you just can’t be. You know they most likely tried but if the roles had been reversed and you could only get one of them out you wouldn’t hesitate.

So there is no animosity. Just a flicker of happiness for them.

They got out.

☆

You were under the impression that a coronation was a happy event. Yet when you step out onto the castle steps it seems to be quite the opposite.

They look miserable.

All of their faces are sullen and dejected. How shocking, no one is excited about Kodo being crowned king. He didn’t have any of the outside of the castle decorated or made presentable in any way. No one reacts when Kodo reads from an ancient looking book until a crown is placed on his head.

A moment afterwards you’re instructed to kneel and a tiara is placed onto your head.

The audience is silent and you feel shame when you stare out at them.

Even if you don’t have very much power you still feel as if you’ve failed them. The feeling follows you when you’re directed to the dining hall with Kodo.

“I have a couple gifts for you, wife.” His twisted smile makes your stomach turn as you enter the dining hall, now decorated with blue and gray banners.

“A gift? You shouldn’t have, my king, I- I didn’t get you anything.” You feign remorse as you take a sip of the wine in front of you on instinct before spitting it back up into the cup.

“That’s more than okay, you’re my gift, sweet wife, all mine.” The thought of such a thing makes you sick, you smile despite yourself.

“That’s very kind.” You’ll only ever be Din’s. No amount of blue fabric and faux smiles can change that. He snaps his fingers and a large box is brought to you by a servant, they set it directly in front of you on the table. You look at Kodo who nods, sitting back in his chair as you stand, the box is wrapped in checkered blue paper, a large bow adorning the top. Your hands tremble a bit as you take hold of the edges of the ribbon, tugging on them until the bow slips free, much to your surprise the entire box falls open, the sides collapsing giving you an immediate view of the contents.

The silver, shimmering contents.

Din’s helmet.

Polished like new, it sits before you, and the room suddenly empties. It’s as if you are completely alone, despite all the eyes that are most definitely pinned on you right now. Your hands continue to shake as your fingers wrap around the beskar steel, like you would when you held Din’s face, lifting it to glare into the visor.

Empty.

You can’t help but stare at your own emptiness reflected back at you.

You want to hold it close, press it to your forehead but you’re snapped back to reality by the grating sound of Kodo’s voice breaking you from your focus on the helm between your hands.

“That’s only one of your presents, open the next one.” He hisses gleefully.

You set the helmet down, realizing there was another, much smaller box underneath it. Silently you scoop it up and cradle it in your hands. It’s a larger than a ring box, it just barely fits in your palm as you ever so gently open it, swinging the top open as if it were a tiny treasure chest.

Huh.

It takes a moment.

You aren’t exactly sure what it is you’re looking at at first but when it registers your entire body tenses up, your grip tightening on the gift box.

Bloody and pink, a tongue.

Of course you know better than to assume Kodo would give you any old tongue. This is a special someone’s tongue.

No, no, no, no, no.

You had loved his tongue before anything else.

He can’t do this, he cannot do this to you.

You had fallen for his sharp wit first, it was what drew you into him. His sweet words had won you back, his declaration of devotion.

Now you hold all of that in the palm of your hand.

“What do we say?” His nasally voice breaks through your mental anguish.

No.

“Come on, where are your manners?”

Please.

“Thank you.” Your whisper is nearly silent as you struggle to keep down the scream bubbling in your throat.

“What was that?”

You clear your throat.

“Thank you.”

He makes you take it with you. You don’t bother telling him you won’t be attending the coronation ball in a few minutes, it’s not like you’ll be missed.

In one arm you’re cradling his helmet, in the other the little blue box.

You set each one down carefully onto the bed, even if it’s a bit demented these are the only parts of him you have left. You stare at the little box.

You have never been hateful.

Kodo made you into this. You are full of hate, for most things at this point. You hate your husband, you hate your room, and most of all you hate the little blue box on the bed.

And the music starts.

It must be deafening in the hall for you to hear it from your room but it’s there, loud and demanding of your attention.

You’re moving before you even have a chance to think about it, in a few quick strides you’re standing beside the vanity, your hands gripping the top of the mirror as you pull it down in one swift motion, the contents spill everywhere and the glass shatters in an instant, shards splattering the floor but you take no time to process it.

You move on to the next thing.

You yank each drawer from the dresser, throwing them to the floor, clothes strewn about until it’s light enough for you to push the entire dresser over. In your frenzy you go about the room toppling every stupid fucking table over. So many fucking end tables in one room, and you throw everyone to the floor, trinkets and vases clattering to the ground as you destroy the room. You get a rush of adrenaline as you lift one of your nightstands and throw it against the wall leaving a small dent but more importantly the force of it makes anything hanging on the wall tumble to the floor, glass frames shatter.

Your chest heaves as you stare at the carnage.

And it isn’t enough.

Your face is wet with tears and your hands with blood from cuts you didn’t feel upon your skin as you tear open the closet door, the pile of blankets mock you from the floor, you grab them, your vision now blurry with tears as you pull them out of the closet, throwing them onto your bedroom floor. When you return to the closet you’re in a frenzy, you tear at the fabric before you, yanking each and every dress off their hangers, ripping what you can.

There is nothing else for you to do, so you destroy everything you can get your hands on until the only thing left untouched is your bed, left in pristine condition as you let out a small sob.

Maybe you are a hateful person now.

You feel as though you have every right to be at this point.

You step over the shard of glass, giving your bloody hands a glance before wiping them on your gown.

Happy coronation day.

You sit on the bed, your trembling fingers wrap around the helmet, now that you’re alone you waste no time to hold it against you face, until your body just gives up, too tired to stay awake anymore.

☆

A guard wakes you in the morning, knocking on your door, when you answer it they tell you Kodo requires your presence in his chambers.

You dress in a blue gown that you don’t look too closely at. Stopping at the fresher on the way, rinsing the dried gore from your palms, wincing as you clean your wounds. None of which seem too deep.

You want to cut Kodo’s tongue out, to make him feel it. But you know that sort of thing would be an impossible task. So you daydream about it as you walk. You’re more than displeased when you open the door and are greeted by Leodall. You hadn’t seen him since that night and from the looks of it he wasn’t expecting you. He swallows loudly when you step inside Kodo’s room.

Normally you’d be curious, you’d probably take a look around but your eyes refuse to focus on anything but Leo as you scowl at him.

“Why’d you do it?” You don’t hesitate to ask, you have no idea how quickly Kodo will be joining you.

He simply stares at you, shame apparent on his face.

“You owe me an explanation at the very least.” You cross your arms in front of your chest as he clears his throat.

“I thought he’d reward me.”

You laugh. A harsh dry sound

“What could he have possibly given you that you couldn’t have just asked me for?” Your gaze never softens and you’re practically seeing red as you stare at him.

“I thought he’d give me a lordship.”

You can’t help it as another crisp and pained laugh slips past your lips.

“You thought Kodo would raise your status? I thought you were supposed to be smart.” Is he an idiot? “He doesn’t see servants as people, if you wanted such a thing you could have asked me, maybe I could have done something.”

A glimmer of something similar to hope flashes through his eyes.

“Would you- would you consider doing so now?”

“You cannot be serious-” Your expression goes from fury to disbelief as you stand.

“It seemed worth asking.” He puts his hands up defensively as you storm up to him, poking a finger into his face.

“You slimy little weasel, it should be you on the chopping block, not him. If it were up to me I’d have them put your head on a spike.” The words pour out of you like venom.

“I would be nicer to me if I were you.” He sneers and your incredulity only grows. You can’t help it, you scoff in his face.

“I would rather die.” A part of you really means it.

“You might if you aren’t careful, I saved your life by letting Elaine and your Mandalorian take the fall, I could have told the king that you were a willing participant. I saw the two of you together, I read your little rules. He never forced himself on you. I wonder what Kodo might think about that.” You aren’t a fighter, you’ve never so much as thrown a punch in your life but you grab him by the collar of his shirt and slam him into the wall, the back of his head hits the stone and you don’t feel an ounce of remorse as you do so.

“Do it.” You tilt your head to the side, almost as if you’re taunting him. “Tell him.” Any of the confidence he briefly had is gone in an instant. “The moment you do I’ll tell him that you’re covering your tracks, and that you made a pass at me. I wonder how Kodo would reward you for trying to touch what’s his?” Leo’s head turns as you both hear Kodo’s piercing voice in the hall. You release your grip on his shirt, brushing off your gown as you turn towards the door. Kodo and three others make their way into the room as Leo coughs behind you.

“Dear wife, I have another gift for you.” He takes a step to the side, gesturing at a line of three people you don’t give so much as a glance. He doesn’t even seem to notice the obvious tension in the room. “A new staff!”

“I don’t need a new staff, I’m fine on my own.” You abandon the pleasantries. You’re in such a state of upset right now, what's the point?

“You’re the queen now, staff is required. These three will replace the ones you've lost in a week, until then Leodall will be training them intensively to tend to your every need. Two guards will also be assigned to you but I promise they will be much less loathsome than your Mandalorian.”

All five of them will be trained to keep an eye on you. To report back to Kodo, after everything with Din you should have known he’d keep you on a shorter leash.

You barely look at them.

You hate them.

You shouldn’t, they’ve done nothing wrong, but you hate them.

You give each one a quick up and down, naming them in your mind.

A BD-3000 droid commands the most authority just based on how she stands so you mentally note her as Elaine's replacement. You’ll call her new Elaine.

New Lysa is a pasty young blonde woman with rosy cheeks. You truly wonder how well informed she has been on your circumstance. She’s smiling from ear to ear and seemingly couldn’t be happier to be here.

And new Leo is somehow even more nervous looking than actual Leo, practically shaking like a leaf at the sight of you. The bags under his eyes are worse than your own. A lanky thing with messy brown hair.

There’s no reason for you to fight this, Kodo always gets his way so why bother. So you nod. You don’t pretend to be grateful this time, instead you shove your way past all of them, content to return to your room and never leave.

☆

The morning of the execution comes before you’re ready for it.

Of course you didn’t sleep last night, how could you?

You dress yourself, apparently your new staff isn’t starting until tomorrow, not that you mind another day to yourself. You manage to find something that isn’t blue, a gray dress trimmed with gold, the closest thing you’ll find to funeral attire. No one else will dress with any respect for him but they can’t stop you. Your vanity is destroyed so you don’t bother with your hair or your makeup, you simply don’t care enough.

For the most part you feel nothing when you open the door, only emptiness until you look down.

Someone left you a small vase of flowers.

You pick them up, taking a closer look but your heart skips a beat when you do so.

Daisies.

After a few short breaths you throw the vase into the wall across from your door, tiny shards of porcelain fly everywhere as two servants at the end of the hall give you a look of horror. Your shoes crunch over the remains of it as you make your way down the hall and to the entryway of the castle.

Kodo insists that the two of you get to see him first.

You’re sweating wildly out on the steps as you wait.

Long before you’re ready for it they bring him out.

A shivering skeleton of a man with a linen bag over his head, immediately bile rises in your throat. Kodo is grinning ear to ear when his legs are kicked out from under him and he’s forced to kneel.

Kodo himself reaches forward and tears the bag off, too excited for any decorum or finesse.

You gasp as you stare down at the broken man before you.

In all honesty he isn’t at all what you envisioned.

His eyes verge on being hazel; they're such a light brown. You’d always pictured them to be nearly black. It doesn’t matter what color they are though, when you see the tears forming in his lash line you flinch, clutching the ring on your necklace to silently let him know silently just how much he means to you.

He’s a mess.

You don’t like looking at what those weeks in the dungeons did to him and the last thing you need to do right now is empty your stomach on the palace steps.

He’s too thin. Far, far, too thin, it’s like his entire being has shrunk down. He’s hollow.

Your breath hitches when Kodo grabs a fistful of his dark hair, forcing him to turn and stare at the crowd. They must have cut it while he was down there it’s a mess, jagged edges and shorter than you’re used to.

“This man has committed an act of treason against the crown.” His voice is loud and booming as the city goes quiet. “For such a crime he shall face the proper punishment.” He yanks him downawards, you watch in horror as Din’s head hits the stone, an incoherent mess of sounds pour from his bloody mouth and you have to look away.

He didn’t want you to look.

You remind yourself to try and calm your breathing. You can hear the scuffle as they drag him to the guillotine, placing his neck into the wooden divot, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest as you turn to look. His eyes are everywhere but on you as he looks at the people around him, desperately pleading for his life. Not a single person so much as glances at him, afterall, it’s just nonsense, no one can understand him without a tongue.

You can’t stand it, you almost cover your ears but you manage to resist as Kodo puts an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him.

“You’re welcome, sweet wife.” He whispers, his breath hot and wet against your ear.

Fuck it.

You don’t suppress the shudder in your spine as you shoot him a look of disgust. In a matter of moments everything you care about will be gone, why pretend any longer.

A bellowing chime plays from a nearby clock tower and you know it’s time, you straighten up as you stare at the guillotine in abject horror.

This is it.

Your chest rises and falls in sharp short bursts as everyone prepares themselves, a hush forming among the crowd on the street.

And it begins, a chain reaction that you cannot stop now that the executioner has his ax raised above his head.

You had expected more. More time.

A part of you thought that time would slow, that you’d have a chance to stop it.

But no.

There is no epic fairy tale moment where the sun glimmers off of the blade and the executioner raises his ax, giving you this perfect moment to run to him, to shield him from the inevitable, to beg them to take you with him.

That moment never comes.

You barely have enough time to close your eyes like you promised him. In one unbroken motion the rope is cut, the blade falls and boom.

Just like that, he’s gone.

When you hear the metal slicing through the air you squeeze your eyes shut, hearing only the wet crunch as it cuts through flesh and bone. A soft, squishy thud when his head hits the stone.

In fashion with your decision to no longer hide your disgust from Kodo you vomit. Bending down you puke onto the stones, spraying your own, and Kodo’s feet. The triumphant smile on his face vanishes as he realizes what’s happened. You wipe your mouth on the back of your hand, refusing to look at Din’s limp body as you give Kodo one last look of detestation before turning around and running back into the castle, not caring what anyone thinks anymore.

The moment you’re inside the reality of it all settles in as you feel tears falling wildly as you run up the steps to your room.

☆

You have been good, and kind, and in return the maker rewarded you by killing the love of your life.

So when you stand in the center of your demolished room you do the only thing your body can do at this point.

You scream.

From deep within your stomach, you scream, loud and raw.

If anything was left unbroken in your room you’d be throwing it at the wall. But there’s nothing so you scream.

You shriek.

You howl.

And you wail.

You scream until there is no more noise. Your voice, like the rest of you, gives up.

You aren’t sure how late it is when you finally stop. You’re tired and it’s dark outside and your throat is raw.

And you lay on the floor. Because the bed is too big, and too cold, and the closet is so empty. So the only place left to sleep is there. You lay on the floor with no more tears to cry and no more sounds to scream as you stare at your bed, only from this angle can you see a rectangular shape under your bed frame.

You wipe your nose with a stray piece of fabric before slowly crawling over to it, you sit on the floor and when you retrieve the item a brand new lump forms in your throat as you stare down at the box Din had bought all those days ago at the market.

Your failsafe.

With quivering hands you open it, staring into the small space containing a mess of items but what catches your eye is a piece of folded paper with your name on it. You take it between your fingers, opening it, careful to not let your tears fall onto it.

Sarad’ika,

If you’re reading this then I’m afraid things aren’t going all that well for me. There are plenty of possible reasons as to why I’m no longer with you, but what’s important is that I plan on doing everything in my power to get back to you. There is only one thing in the galaxy that could keep me from your side, and if that is my fate then this box will ensure you’re taken care of.

The most important thing is for you to get off this planet. I have included a few possible plans for you, do what you have to to survive. Elaine will help you escape.

You can seek out Greef Karga on Nevarro. Tell him Din Djarin sent you, tell him what’s happened and he will see to it that you are cared for. Explain our circumstances and I am certain he will provide you with safe lodging.

Tatooine is also an option. You’ll find a Mandalorian there by the name of Boba Fett, he will not turn you away. You will be protected there, if you need to relocate for some reason after that he will help you locate the Mandalorian convert. Show the Mandalorians your ring and you will be cared for the rest of your life, the convert will protect you.

As an absolute last resort there is a planet located in the Outer Ring called Ossus. There is a school there, taught by a man named Luke Skywalker. I doubt he would be eager to take you in but you must insist. Bring the chainmail, they’ll know who sent you. Take care of each other.

In this box you will find enough credits to get you off planet and take care of you for several months, a year if you’re frugal, I suggest you take a few jewelry pieces to pawn off for extra credits as well. You will find a small chainmail shirt, and a necklace of mine.

And lastly you will find your vibroblade.

Protect yourself. You’re strong, and more than capable of doing so.

I have one request for you, please, I will only ask this one thing of you.

Be smart.

You are the smartest and kindest person I have ever had the honor of knowing. Be smart, take care of yourself. If the roles were reversed I know that I would go to extremes to either get you back, or find justice for you. And all I can do is ask that you do not attempt any such thing, the only thing I would ever want for you is safety and happiness.

So seek those things out.

Be safe. Be happy.

I was lucky to know you, and even luckier to be yours.

an ner kar'taylir darasuum,

Din

All my love.

You flip the paper over, desperate for more, more Din, but all you find is scrawled coordinates to each location. Your fingers sift through the items, everything he promised is found inside but you latch onto the blade. Laying back down on the floor you clutch it between your fingers as you think of Din.

Din, who was yours.

Din, who they took from you.

Who Kodo, took from you.

And your grip on the knife tightens.

☆

Two guards stand outside your door round the clock now.

They never follow you or come into your room but they’re there, silently watching as you direct all your anger at your new staff. As promised Leo trained them to be as persistent and infuriating as he was.

When the two new girls come to fetch you in the morning you can’t help it when you scream at them to leave you alone and to stop trying to clean the ever growing mess of things.

It doesn’t matter that it isn’t their fault, you can’t stand the sight of anyone.

All three of them try. New Elaine and Lysa show up three times a day, trying to dress you and squeeze their way past you into the room but after enough shrieking they always leave you be.

New Leo usually tries once or twice a day, you don’t even look at him. You always stare at the floor, when he tries to speak you give him the same treatment as the girls, screaming at him and slamming the door.

Why should you let them in? You know what they are. They’re here to spy on you, to be Kodo’s eyes while he’s busy being king. They’re easy to evade. When you leave to fetch yourself food or a book from the library you easily outrun them. The two girls are worse at navigating the castle than you were when you first arrived and new Leo has a bad leg, sometimes he’ll make attempts to limp after you but they’re always unsuccessful.

You think of nothing, day after day because there is nothing to think about.

Except for the fact that Kodo took your future away from you. He took everything from you.

If you thought time was blending before Din’s death nothing could have prepared you for now. You don’t track the days as well, you keep your curtains drawn and only leave when you get hungry or start to think of Din. The last thing you need to do is have another screaming fit so you keep him locked away in your heart, an ache that’s always there that you don’t address.

One day, in a fit of tears you took your knife and decided on a whim to kill Kodo. You didn’t care about the repercussions at that point you just wanted him to suffer but the moment you opened the door you nearly tripped, stumbling backwards the guards didn’t so much as glance at you.

Another vase of flowers.

You’re tempted to just kick them down the hall but you can’t help yourself when you lean down to pick them up.

A bouquet of blue lilies. Your nose twitches at the sight of them, out of the corner of your eye you see new Lysa and new Elaine approaching so you take the opportunity to slam the little glass vase into the stone floor. Glaring at them when you do before returning to your room.

☆

Maybe it’s been three days since Din died.

Maybe it’s been three months.

You aren’t sure.

You aren’t sure when you made plans to kill Kodo either but suddenly you have them. A fool proof way to get him alone.

And suddenly you’re dressed for the first time in, well, however long it’s been. In a baby blue nightie with a robe you march out into the hall. The guards watch in silence as you walk away, your bare feet scampering down the stairs until you find yourself watching the main entrance. Waiting for your loving husband to make his nightly trip to a pleasure house, a trip that is typically accompanied by guards.

You grip the handle of the knife in your pocket as you wait until you finally hear footsteps approaching.

“Kodo, honey?” You step out from behind the stone column, holding your robe closed as you bat your eyelashes at him. He stumbles around drunkenly until his eyes focus on you.

You’ve only used your voice for screaming for so long you sound meek, exactly as you want to right now.

“Wife?”

“I thought maybe you’d like to join me tonight…” You hold a hand out towards him, putting on a sickly sweet tone of innocence. His mouth twists into a grin.

“I knew you’d come around eventually.”

He doesn’t question where you’re taking him, he simply follows.

What a joke.

You pull him up the stairs, you know from hide and seek where to find an empty room so you guide him there in calculated silence until he trips a bit, laughing to himself as he stutters.

“I knew if I got rid of the Mandalorian you’d realize how much better I am than him.” The statement doesn’t sit right with you and he can see it on your face, even in his drunken state he can sense your confusion.

You both stop, you’re above him on the stairs as you turn and stare into his eyes.

“You- you knew?”

He simply nods, that sickening smile of his is plastered on his face. His icy blue eyes shimmer with delight.

“How long?”

“When Leo told me I remembered everything. That little altercation in the hall when your boy knocked me out came right back to me, from there it wasn’t hard to figure out.” Your eye twitches as he speaks.

He knew you loved him and he took him from you anyway.

Any hesitations you had are gone as you nod, pulling him onward until you reach the large vacant tower room. He’s so drunk you decide to just drop the voice, pointing at a spot on the floor.

“Lay down.” You mumble, reaching into your pocket once more.

He eagerly does as he’s told, laying down on the cold stone, you take a deep breath, in one swift motion you grab your knife, holding it behind your back as you toss your robe aside. He gives you a toothy grin as you ever so slowly walk to him, standing above him before sitting, straddling his waist.

You look him up and down, one last time.

Your loving husband.

One of his hands plays with the blue lace of your nightie as you collect yourself. You look up at the ceiling briefly.

I’m sorry.

Not for Kodo, but for Din. This is exactly what he didn’t want you to do.

You aren’t a killer. And you aren’t hateful, but a person can only be pushed so far before something breaks.

Be smart.

You think of Din’s note one last time before you bring the blade out in front of you and slam the blade into Kodo’s chest.

He makes a sickly wet sound, coughing as he stares at you in shock.

You remove the knife, the hot steel cauterizes his wounds, there isn’t so much as a drop of blood as your face twists with fury and you bring it down again into his stomach now.

How dare he look surprised by any of this.

After what he took from you? He deserves galaxies worse.

So you remove the knife.

And you stab him again.

And again,

and again,

and again.

Until there is no more shocked look on his face. You don’t have a snarky remark or a statement to commemorate your revenge, you’re all used up at this point, all you have is this, this stabbing motion.

He didn’t even have a chance to fight back.

You crawl off of his body, sitting on the stones as you toss the knife to the side, waiting for a rush of euphoria.

But it never comes.

It doesn’t feel as good as you thought it would.

Staring down at Kodo’s lifeless body. You let yourself crumble. Collapsing down onto the floor, gasping for air as you sob.

This was never going to bring him back.

You lay there on your hands and knees for quite some time, just wailing, because what else are you supposed to do right now? You realize far too late that this was never an act of malice, some demented and shattered part of you thought that this would somehow bring him back, that it would give you peace.

They won’t execute you.

You planned this exactly so they wouldn’t.

Kodo didn’t tell anyone about your relationship with Din in much detail, not enough for them to assume that you could be with child. Everyone will assume that it’s Kodo’s. They won’t kill you, they can’t.

Not if they think you’re carrying Kodo’s child. Now that Kodo’s dead, there’s no one to tell the royal family that you never consummated your marriage, your child is the most well protected person on the planet. The future monarch. It’s almost funny, you haven’t permitted yourself to think about the stirring within you as a child until just now, in this moment of weakness. A child, your child.

Who will most likely grow up without a mother because of the decisions you've made today.

You bite your fist, swallowing a scream as you sit back on your heels.

Your child will never know how loved they were. Your little one will never get to sit beside their mother while their father teaches them to sew. You put your head in your hands as you wail, no longer caring who hears. Your fate is sealed, what does it matter?

You don’t turn when you hear someone coming up the stairs. When they pull you into their arms you try uselessly to shove them away. Your vision is blurry and filled with tears as you stare up at the unfamiliar figure now holding you. They rub your back, drawing swirls and stars against your spine as they pull you closer.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” They mumble into your hair. You dry your eyes hastily on your sleeve, confused by the voice you’re hearing, it’s painfully familiar, on instinct you wrap your arms around their torso, pulling yourself into their lap as you both sit on the floor beside Kodo’s body. “You’re okay, I’m here.”

“I’m- I’m sorry.” You whisper against the stranger's shirt. You knew you weren’t hateful. You’re certain of it now because even though he took quite literally everything from you, you still feel bad when you look at Kodo.

A large hand cups your face, pulling you back to their chest so you can’t see the corpse anymore.

“I didn’t mean it- I- I didn’t mean to kill him. Well I did but I just-” You begin to ramble as a fresh flood of tears begin sliding down your cheeks.

“Hey- hey it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it. We gotta get you cleaned up, okay? I’ll take care of this, I’ll fix it.” Their arms tighten around you, giving you a reassuring squeeze. You finally find the courage to look at your companion and it takes a moment for you to even realize who you’re looking at.

New Leo.

Why would he help you? You treat him like shit. When you look at him he looks like he’s about to cry and for the first time since Din was taken from you drop the walls you’ve put up and you let yourself feel bad for him. You show an ounce of kindness to him because in all honesty he’s the first person to make you feel safe since the night Din was taken from you.

A lighthouse while you sail through a storm.

So you hug him.

You pull yourself closer to him and you offer him a comfort you haven’t known for days.

“I’m sorry… for all of it, but especially the flowers, I should have told you, I just- you wouldn’t let me and the guards wouldn’t let me in without your permission and you just wouldn’t look at me.” He begins to mumble his own apologies, sending a surge of confusion through you.

You furrow your brows, pulling back once more giving him a perplexed look as you search his nearly black eyes for some kind of answer.

And it clicks.

All at once it snaps into place and you want to say his name, so desperately, but you’re terribly afraid of being wrong.

And then he smiles. A soft smile that makes you feel okay and you don’t even care if you’re wrong and you don’t care if it doesn’t make sense you just have to ask.

“Din?”

☆

a/n : yeah so uhhhhh yeah uhhhh this is the first chapter i've ever written where im actually very fond of the writing and nervous about the plot stuff so im gonna go hide?? and just vanish for a while lol

I don't have a tag list anymore !! follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates!!

#lincolndjarin #the mandalorian #best kept secret #bks #din djarin #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin fanfiction #mandalorian smut #din djarin smut #pedro pascal #din djarin/reader #din djarin/you

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wandanatrules · 1 year ago

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Locker Room

Pairing: shy nerdy g!p wanda maximoff x popular cheerleader reader

This is the fic for the request I got literally so long ago I’ll put the request as the summary, I just started winter break so i’m gonna try to write sorry I haven’t posted in forever school has been on my ass

summary: Hiiii, I saw that you were taking requests and I just had to ask, could you do awkward emo!wanda and cheerleader!r where they’re both in high school or college and wanda likes r nd gets all shy and embarrassed around her, so r takes advantage of this and tries to make her as flustered as she can..and wanda

can’t take the teasing one day so she builds up the confidence to ask her out which eventually leads to them having sex in the girls locker room 🤭

warnings: wanda has a penis, oral (w receiving), heavy make out, smut, foul language, there isn’t really that much smut sorry

Even in her sophomore year of college Wanda was still nervous to talk to girls. She wasn’t the most social person, which played a part in it. It wasn’t that she wasn’t attractive enough to get girls, believe me she was.

She had an athletic build and long flowy hair. She ran track in high school and ever since then maintained the abs and the muscles she acquired from that, by joining the soccer team in college. Wanda was the MVP player, which gave her a lot of female admirers. Many of the females at her games, especially the cheerleaders, would make passes at her but she was too oblivious and shy to notice.

Ever since freshman year the only person that Wanda had her eyes on was you. You were on the cheerleading squad, and well known for your looks and popularity. You also liked Wanda, but for some reason she always rejected your advances.

Tonight was the celebration party for the girls soccer team after winning the tournament. The whole team and all the cheerleaders would be there.

Wanda was nervous to go knowing that parties weren’t usually her scene. Even though she was expected to go since she scored the winning goal and led her team to victory.

You and the other cheerleaders were in the locker room getting ready, before you left for the stadium to join the party.

“I’m gonna try to get with Maximoff tonight” you said to your friends while finishing up your makeup.

“Oh, really?” your friend Maria asked, “She’s so nerdy and shy and awkward all the time.”

You smiled and thought back to a couple of days ago when you tried to flirt with her.

Wanda was standing outside of the soccer locker room, right after practice. She was wearing a muscle tee showing off her toned arms and covered in sweat.

“Hey Wans.” You said to her after sauntering over to her, while putting your hand on her arm. “You looked real good during your practice.”

Wanda’s face turned red and she felt herself getting nervous again. “Oh thanks y/n.” she said while nervously playing in her hair, “I was working on my form for the tournament.”

“Yeah, I bet you're gonna win it for us Wanda, and when you do i’ll give you something to celebrate.” You said in her ear with a seductive voice, before walking away with a sway to your hips.

Wanda let out a deep breath after you walked away, cursing herself after feeling her erection hardening.

As you reminisced in the memory of how cute Wanda looked all flustered you couldn’t help but wait for you to get to the party and see her. You just knew that tonight would be the night you would get your hands on her.

It was later that night and Wanda was talking to her friends from the soccer team, while nursing a drink at the party.

“I’m telling you Wanda, she wants you.” Natasha said, trying to convince her to go over and talk to you.

“No I don’t think so, she’s just friendly.” Wanda insisted while looking over at you.

You were at the other side of the party making eye contact with her, while seductively sucking your straw between your teeth. You lifted your hand and waved her over.

Wanda tensed and looked behind her, not believing you were beckoning her.

“She wants you, you idiot.”, Natasha laughed, as she shoved her over to you. “Good luck.” , she called out behind her

Wanda nervously walked over to you, wiping the sweat off of her palms on to her pants.

“Hi Wanda.” You husked looking up at her with your best doe eyes. “Let’s dance.”, you said, putting your drink down and leading her to the dance floor by the hand.

The song had just happened to change from some loud rap music to a slow and sexy RnB song. You used this to your advantage as you wrapped her arms around your waist and began to sway.

Wanda, tensed not knowing where to put her hands, trying to be respectful of her touches. You sensed this nervousness and placed her hands on your butt.

“You know Wanda, literally everyone has hit on me and asked me out except you. I’ve never had to make the first move like this. Do you not think I'm pretty, Wanda?” You said with that sickly sweet voice that drove Wanda crazy and iginitied a stir in her pants.

“Oh, no y/n definitely, i think you're absolutely gorgeous.” Wanda said nervously, careful to not hurt your feelings.

You turned around to face her with a smile, “That’s exactly what I was hoping you would say. You better come with me so I can give you your surprise for winning us the game.

You took her hand and led her through the crowd out of the party, into the locker room. You pushed her against the wall and kissed her roughly, grabbing handfuls of her arm muscles and abs.

“You know Wanda, I love when I talk to you after soccer practice. When you’re all sweaty and your muscles are all pumped. I use that time to tease you and get you all worked up, and secretly watch you sneak back into the locker room to take care of your little problem.”

Wanda’s lips parted when she felt your hand grip her length and slowly rub up and down.

“Damn Wanda you’re so hard.” You whispered in her ear. “You gonna fuck me?”

Wanda stammered too nervous to respond, lost in the pleasure of you rubbing her length.

“Or did you want me to fuck you?” You said with a smirk as you pushed her down onto the bench with a hand on her chest.

“Yes ma’am you can do whatever you want.” Wanda said repeatedly nodding

You slowly pulled down your panties from under your dress and threw them at her before loosening the straps on your shoulders and pulling the dress down.

Wanda put the panties in her pocket before you pulled her belt off and ripped her pants and boxers down.

You gripped her length, roughly stroking it up and down. Loving the way her face contorted in pleasure and over stimulation. You looked up at her with those big round eyes as you slowly sucked the tip between your lips, before going deeper and deeper.

“FUCK y/n” Wanda groaned thrusting her hips up into your mouth as she holds down your head. The muscles in her arms straining she roughly fucks your mouth. You hold onto her chest to brace yourself as you move your mouth faster.

“Damnit fuck that was so good y/n thank you” Wanda said flustered trying to catch her breath

“That’s so cute Wans, you don’t have to thank me.” You said looking up at her with a smile while licking your lips. “But I do know how you can repay me”…

#natasha romanoff smut #wandanat #fanfic #fiction #smut #wanda x y/n #wanda maximoff smut #scarlet witch #beefy wanda #wanda maximoff angst #wanda x fem!reader #wandavision #wanda maximoff fluff #shy wanda #wanda fanfic

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 11 months ago

Text

The Farmer's Daughter 9

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Walter Marshall

Summary: You notice a peculiar change in a family friend. (short!reader, sorry size kink is out)

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

After the tense morning, you don't speak to Walter again that day. Or the next. When he arrives, he stays outside with his thermos of coffee and waits for Timothy. At the end of the day, he gives your brother an excuse about chores at home. Maybe not an excuse. He has been spending a lot of time around here.

Nearly a week after it happened, after everything changed, your mother appears in the kitchen with a crease in her forehead. You offer her a cup off coffee as she rubs her eyes. She yawns and and shakes her head.

“We'll grab a cup at the hospital,” she says, “you're father has a check-up. Timmy's taking us.”

“Oh?” You pour yourself a mug and lean on the counter, “I forgot.”

“Lots going on,” she sighs, “can't blame you for being distracted.”

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” you shrug.

“I called Walter, left a message,” she checks the clock hung above the door, “wouldn't be too bad if he did swing by, huh?”

“Hopefully he doesn't waste the time,” you grumble.

“Honey,” she chides playfully, “you know, I think your dad would approve… if he could. He always liked Walter.”

“Mom,” you frown, “please, I have enough to worry about.”

“Oh, I'm sorry,” she whines, “I'm just… looking for a little sunshine through the clouds.”

You wince, a pang of guilt between your ribs, “I'm sorry, mom, I just… Walter's nice. He helps so much and I think… I think maybe it's too much.”

“Don't I know it. He is so generous. I gave him some money and I found the envelope in my purse,” she tuts, “you could do much worse. He… he could take care of you.”

You exhale, “mom.”

“Just listen,” her tone turns dire and her eyes gleam, “your pa can't. He's not gonna be able to ever again. I already know what the doc's gonna day and you shouldn't fool yourself. Walter won't help forever, not for no good reason. And next year, your pa won't be back on his tractor…” she sniffles and dabs her nose, “those days are behind us.”

“Ma, you don't know–”

“I do,” she utters solemnly, “I see the man I married but he's hollow. He's… a shell, honey. He's there but he's not really.”

“Oh, ma–”

“I'm just saying… we need to weigh our options. I'll look into selling if we gotta and Timmy, maybe he can go work with Walt–”

“Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?” You cross an arm around your middle.

“We shoulda been talking about this a week ago,” she shakes her head.

“Well, I can apply at the grocer or–”

“You do that,” she says, “but you think real hard. You got options,” she steps closer and cups your cheeks, “you're a pretty young thing. That doesn't last forever.”

You don't say a word as her greyness seeps into you. She draws away and you bow your head. You wait for her to go as you stare into the black depths of the coffee. You take a sip to try to chase away the ice in your veins but it only sends a shiver through you.

🌾

Your parents go off with Timmy in the truck. You set to sweeping the porch to keep yourself busy. Your mother's words ring in your ears. She can't be serious, there's more out there than the farm. Pa always said as much and you don't think he meant Walter.

As you get to the steps, the distant rumble of an engine rolls over the ground. You turn as gravel grits under treads and Walter's large truck lazily rocks along the bumpy road. You still the straw broom and grip the handle as he pulls up. Did he not get your mother's message?

He lingers in the truck as you squint against the sunlight. His door pops open and he jumps down, sending up a cloud of dust. He goes around the bed of the truck and opens the back.

He slides out a sheet of wood and drags it towards you. You watch in confusion as he stops and leans it against the side of the porch. His eyes meet yours and his brows furrow.

“Morning,” he checks his watch, “barely.”

“Morning, Mr. Marshall,” you eke out.”

His eyes flash and he nods. He turns and marches back to the truck, pulling out several planks before carrying them over. You watch him as you lean on the broom.

“What are you doing?” You ask.

He stops and looks up at you. He points to your feet and flicks his finger up, “building a ramp. For your dad.”

You look down at your slips flecked in dirt and stray strands of straw, “oh? Didn't ma call–”

“She didn't ask,” he says bluntly.

Your lips slant and you tilt your head, “that's real nice.”

“Yeah well, I'm a nice guy,” he huffs and spins on the heel of his boots, stomping away once more.

He goes back to the truck and retrieves his toolbox. His agitation roils off his tense shoulders and the stone set in his jaw. You're too afraid to ask but you do need to. He has been avoiding you.

“Well, I'll stay out of your way,” you lift the broom and back up the stairs. “If you need anything–”

“Not in the way,” he says curtly as he takes out a measuring tape.

“Oh, I know but I wouldn't wanna bother–”

“I don't mind,” he shrugs as he steps onto the stairs and measures the angle over them.

“Right, of course, do you need anything? A glass of water or–”

“Seems like I'm the one bothering,” he stands and lets the tape retract harshly.

“No?” You bat your lashes at him, “I didn't say that, Mr.--”

“Walt,” he growls, “you know what I like best in a woman. Honesty. So why don't you be honest and tell me what you really feel?”

“I…” you gulp, “Walter, er, Walt, I… I'm just… confused.”

“Don't act like a child. We both know you're not,” he crosses his arms over his broad chest. You've seen him angry before but it's never been aimed at you.

“I… I don't know what to say. I'm sorry.”

“Sorry. Okay,” he shakes his head and unfolds his arms, going back to measuring, “I'm open to talking when you wanna be an adult.”

You flinch as you watch him. He grits his teeth, ignoring your presence as he focuses on his work. You turn, hiding the hurt deep in your chest. You never meant to hurt him but you really don't know. As much as you try to wade through your feelings, you only feel as if you're drowning in them.

#walter marshall #dark walter marshall #dark!walter marshall #walter marshall x reader #drabble #night hunter #the farmer's daughter #series #au #backwoods au

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judesmoonbeauty · 9 months ago

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Love Begins From a Mean Lie: Jude Jazza Collection Event Story❥︎

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do NOT post my translations elsewhere. What I obtain is what will be translated. Dividers: @/natimiles

Jude told me he needed to talk to me about our mission, so I went the common room.

It seems like everyone is out today, so there's no one else in the room.

Jude: Tomorrow's mission location has changed.

Jude put a map on the table, explaining somewhat languidly, as if he was bothered by having to explain it to me.

Jude: I had originally pinned it here.

Jude's fingertips tap the suburban mansion he was planning to strike tomorrow.

Jude: The new location will be here.

A fingertip moved to the northwest, pointing to a mansion hidden in the woods.

Kate: Originally, we had two locations in mind because the target owns a vacation home in the name of a relative.

Kate: Why the change?

Jude: It rained the day before yesterday. There was a landslide ‘n the road was blocked.

Kate: I see......That’s why the change was made to where thelandslide didn’t occur. Got it!

The day after Jude told me about the change of mission site. I entered the mansion with Ellis.

(The the place Jude told me about, is here right……?)

(.…….How is it that the time is right, but there is no sign of anyone?)

I waited for a while, but in the end no one showed up at the mansion.

Ellis:...it’s time for us to go home, Kate.

Kate: What?

Ellis: Even if we stay here, nothing is likely to happen.

Kate: ...... yes, that's right. Was the information incorrect?

Kate: And Jude hasn't arrived either. Maybe something happened on the way here…….

Ellis: Jude will be fine, don't worry.

Kate: ..... perhaps, Ellis. Do you know anything about what's going on right now?

Ellis: …….

Ellis: ….This is for your happiness Kate.

Kate: Even if I wanted to know, would you be able to tell me?

Ellis looks down hesitantly at my words.

Kate: ....If you tell me, I'll be a little happier. Maybe.

Ellis opened his mouth with a heavy heart, as if those words were the deciding factor.

Ellis: Actually…….

Victor: Oh, Ellis and Kate, you're home early! I believe we were supposed to be on a mission today......

Kate: Has Jude returned?!

Victor's eyes widen at my angry look.

Victor: Jude? No, I haven't seen him yet.

Did something happen?

Victor: …..Oh, speak of the devil! Welcome back Jude.

When I turned around at Victor's words, Jude had just returned.

His clothes are covered with what looks like blood.

(Ellis was right......!)

Ellis: Actually, Jude said he didn't want you to be a part of this mission Kate......

Ellis: He lied about the location change.

Ellis: Kate, I was told that you would be happier that way, so I followed suit.

Kate: In other words, Jude is currently carrying out the mission by himself?

Ellis: Yeah. It wasn't that dangerous of a mission.….

(I was worried since I heard that Jude went alone, but...it looks like the mission was completed successfully.)

(That’s good. But…..)

Kate: .......Jude, why did you complete the mission by yourself?!

Jude: Ha, isn’t because you’ll get in the way?

Kate: Even if I get in the way…….please explain that in advance!

Jude: Even if I explained it to ya, ya wouldn't get it, would ya?

Jude: You’re gonna follow me with your gutsy, "I'll do my best," and I don't wanna go through the trouble of convincin’ ya.

Kate: …….

Jude: .....Ya should be sleeping in a castle. Princess.

Jude left without further ado.

(I'm a member of the Crown too, even though I’m just a fairytale keeper…..)

Ellis: Jude said it's for your happiness that he didn’t let you join the mission Kate…..

Ellis: I'm sorry….. From the look on your face right now, it looks like that was a mistake.

Kate: ……No. I think Jude didn’t take me because I’m unreliable.

(.....Don't be discouraged, don't be discouraged.)

(I need to prove I’m not unreliable and make sure this never happens again.)

Then, in between my next mission, I decided to independently research the mission I couldn't go on.

Jude always looks disgusted when I go on missions with him.

(…..However, it’s rare that I’m not even allowed to accompany you like this time.)

(There must be some reason...)

Reviewing the documents, I summarized the victims, perpetrators, and the background that led to the incident.

(Oh! Maybe ....)

Kate: …. Jude, could you please read this?

After dinner, I handed Jude, who was reading a newspaper in the common room, the report I had compiled on the incident.

Jude: …….Won’t forgive ya if ya waste someone's time and it's no good.

Kate: Yes!

After that, Jude finished reading my report in no time.

Jude: …And?

The cold amethyst eyes look at me as if testing me.

If I had just met Jude, I would have been timid in the face of that gaze.

(....But it's different now)

(I want Jude to approve of me, so this is not the time to be scared...!)

Kate: The reason why Jude didn’t take me on the mission the other day was because of one of the culprits, right?

I point to the culprits listed in the report that Jude returned to me.

Kate: He worked at the post office at the same time as me....... A delivery man, same as me.

Jude: …..

Kate: You kept me away from the mission because you thought I might have known him, didn’t you?

Kate: To keep me from getting hurt.

Jude: …..Ha, you really have a good head on your shoulders, I'm jealous of ya.

Jude: After bein’ tortured so much, what kinda thought process makes me look like that?

Kate: ….. Because I don't think you're a cold person from the core of your heart.

Jude: That again.

Kate: I'll say it over and over again. Anyway, please don't do this again!

Jude: Hah…..

Jude: You're very spirited, and that's all very well……But, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re a small fry ‘n a liability in combat.

Jude: I don’t think ya understand the most important issues about that?

Jude stood up abruptly, grabbed my hand, and rolled me onto the sofa in the common room.

Kate: …..

Jude: ….. Look, there's nothing you can do about it.

(If things continue like this, Jude will continue to look down on me...I can't afford to be choosy about my means.)

(If this happens, I have no choice but to aim there……!)

I swung my foot up as hard as I could to kick him in his vital point but......

Jude: Are you an idiot?

Jude catches my leg with one hand and easily stops me.

Moreover, Jude lifted my leg in his grasp and pushed it open.

Kate: No, please don't!

My skirt was flipped up, in a disarrayed un-lady like state.

I tried to move my legs to close them, but Jude didn't budge.

Jude: ‘Cause you’re a perverted woman who likes to aim for that place..…this position suits ya.

Kate: ……

Jude: If ya kick me here, you’ll be in big trouble. And if ya fail, you’ll be tormented by an angry man.

Jude: Do you want the same thing done to ya here?

Jude's knee, which came between my legs, pressed there.

Kate: …..

Jude: ….C’mon, give up.

Kate: …..I don’t want to.

Kate: If someone I knew was involved in the incident, it would be sad and painful, of course.

Kate: .....But I'd much rather not have my mission schedule changed to keep me away, and for Jude to do something reckless.

Jude: To keep ya away?

Jude: Why do I have to put my body on the line for ya? Don't make me say it again. Don’t be conceited.

Kate: You let Ellis go with me so that nothing would happen to me.

Kate: If all you wanted to do was get me out of the way, all you had to do was lie and leave me alone.

Jude: Ha…….you’ve got a mouth on ya.

Kate: .....Even if it's a dangerous mission or a hurtful mission, it's not a reason to give up.

Kate: I am prepared to that extent.

Jude: So, it’s all about guts.

Jude said as if he was spitting it out and he finally let me go.

(...I guess he was taken aback)

(Jude’s right, what I'm saying is gutsy no matter how far I go…..)

(Maybe I should train my body so I don't get left behind…..)

Jude: ...If ya wanna negotiate with me, use your brain more.

Kate: …..what?

When I tilted my head to see what he meant, Jude pointed to the report I had just shown him.

Jude: The report’s not that bad.

There's a lot of ways to negotiate.

Jude: What’s that head for? Decoration?

Although it was only a word or two, they certainly acknowledge what I did, they were words that showed me the way.

Kate: As the fairytale keeper, you’re telling me to negotiate with you by highlighting how I can help you, Jude. I will!

Jude: Hah, do whatever ya want...As long as you’re useful, it doesn't matter to me whether you're a princess or a knight.

Jude: Those who can be used are worked to the bone.

With that, Jude left the room.

I swore an oath in my heart as I followed behind him.

(I’ll do my best to gain more recognition.)

(To prevent Jude from telling a lie to protect me again.)

[Master List]

“…it doesn't matter to me whether you're a princess or a knight.” - Jude Jazza

Idc why he said it, I’m marrying him for it!

#Jude Jazza #ikevil jude #cybird translations #ikevil translations #ikevil JP #ikevil spoilers

172 notes · View notes

pshcomforts · 1 year ago

Text

➳ back to the old house | psh.

highschool!sunghoon x fem!reader

“and you never knew, how much i really liked you”

synopsis: since your senior year was coming to an end soon, you decided to be a little more bold by sending notes of encouragements to your longtime crush who was also your friend, park sunghoon.

warnings/content: written in third pov. heavy angst. no happy ending. cursing. not proofread. miscommunication. i’m gonna say sorry in advance.

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 4.4k

a/n: inspired by @snghnlvr’s sunghoon fanfic! fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s partner), min-su (heeseung’s partner), and ji-woo (jake’s partner).

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: back to the old house by the smiths

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

1:20 ────────|─────────── -1:45

sunny skies beamed on the school grounds as y/n tiredly walked into the classroom that wasn’t her first period. her name wasn’t enrolled in that class but his was. she yawned as the early morning was still a new thing to her.

the exhausted girl reached into her bag, taking out her post-it notes she took out each morning to leave it on the desk that belonged to the boy she liked.

her heart was pounding out of her chest as she thought back to the words that’d been stuck in her late night thoughts. just simple words really.

┌── •✧• ──┐

hey sunghoon, how are you today?

if this is awkward, i’m sorry. don’t

give up when the time gets hard!

i’m always rooting for you! :)

— 0307

└── •✧• ──┘

she bit her lips in doubt. “should i stop with the notes..?” she mumbled.

it was her senior year, her last year to make memories and not regret a single thing. high school was ending in just four months for her, so she shouldn’t regret this, right? for the past few months, she had been leaving encouraging words on his desk as a way of confiding in her feelings.

before she could debate any further, rowdy noises were heard from the hallway — catching her attention that the boys were nearby. she was part of their friend group, along with her other three friends; but that didn’t mean they had to know about her crush on sunghoon.

shakily, her hands quickly placed the sticky note on his desk before she rushed out.

“hey y/n!” jay yelled out at the end of the hallway.

the girl turned back in a flash, not forgetting to hide away her neutral colored notes that would’ve been obvious. her eyes trailed to each boy in a second, leaving a lingering gaze on hoon, the boy that gave her butterflies.

“hi jay,” she beamed back.

“what were you doing in ms. lee’s class?” jake added in with an eyebrow raise.

she took a gulp as she cleared her throat. composing herself, she replied — “uhm i’m just looking for your bestie.” an awkward chuckle erupted from her as she pointed to heeseung.

he beamed a worried/confused look back at her. “min-su?“ the male shoved his hands into his jean pockets as the rest of the group looked at him.

“yep! i could never find that girl in the morning,” she uttered.

eventually, he nodded in agreement before replying — “i was just with her before going down the hallway with them. she’s in the classroom not too far from you.”

y/n nodded as if she was actually looking for her. “oh i see, thanks heeseung!” she swiftly moved past the rest of the members, blocking out the mumbles that left their mouths. one, however, getting through her ears as she could hear jake’s loud booming voice call out — “tell my girlfriend i’ll wait for her after class, yeah?”

as she left, the enhypen members chuckled to themselves before getting inside of the class. not all of them belonged in there, but most did so it was their go-to spot.

when sunghoon reached to his seat, his hand stopped to trail at the sticky note. “another one?” he said under his breath.

“another one again?” jake questioned aloud, catching everyone else’s attention.

the taller boy stiffly chuckled as he nodded. “wonder who this is..” he scanned around the room for the possible culprit, only to be dumbfounded with the answer as he found various students in their own worlds.

“still haven’t found out who it is?” jungwon asked, pursing his bottom lip out to showcase his dimples.

sunghoon nodded his head no as his cheeks started to take form of a blushing pink. “aww look, he’s starting to get a crush on the stalker.” jay teased with his shit eating grin.

hoon rolled his eyes as a response. “shut up, it’s creepy that they keep doing this.”

the group lightly chuckled together. “maybe the girls/dae know?” sunoo chimed in.

sunghoon’s head automatically peaked up at the mention of them. “the girls?”

“aye come on now, i’m sure hoon, here, doesn’t want his crush to know that he’s been receiving love letters. it might throw off what they have.” heeseung intervened with a smile.

“you still haven’t told her??” the youngest, niki, said with an eye roll.

“i’ve been trying to work on it!”

the maknae started snorting out laughter in return as he laughed with his whole body. “at this point, you’re not even gonna be able to tell her before the school year ends.”

“i’m doing what i can! she’s just.. really pretty.” hoon murmured in embarrassment.

“come on, y/n’s definitely not gonna like how you are with how shy you sound.” jake said with a click to the tongue.

the 5’11 boy shook his head as humiliation started to take over in his blushing cheeks. jay took notice and nudged his head — “we get it, you like her. let’s just ask them later, maybe y/n will get jealous and say something since sunghoon won’t.”

a few protests from the latter were made before the bell rang. some members scattered away as the rest began to take their seats.

within the same time frame of the boys conversing, y/n made it to her friend group a few classrooms down after leaving suspicions behind.

her breath heavily panted as she approached the three people she admired most. “hey guys,” she spoke with an exhale of air.

“did you just run the mile or something? why are you so out of breath?” dae questioned with his one brow raised.

“shut up,” she took another breath. “you know i’m always late.” but she wasn’t. the girl always arrived earlier than the rest to leave the post-its on his desk. her love notes toward sunghoon had been kept a secret from her closest friends as she couldn’t have it in herself to confess such an embarrassing thing.

“heeseung texted that you were looking for me?” min-su perked up.

“oh yeah, just looking for you guys cause you guys weren’t at the usual spot.” y/n lied, still taking deep breaths. “also, jake said he’ll wait for you after class.” her head nodded towards the boy’s girlfriend.

ji-woo furrowed her brows at the first few words that had spewed out of her. “uh girl, we’ve been coming here for the past few days.”

y/n’s body quickly tensed as she felt her hands go numb. “oh yeah… uhm, i just forgot.”

the three people exchanged her the same look of confusion before dae excused it. “okay anyway, so you saw the boys, that means you saw sunghoon right?” he had a mischievous grin on his face so that y/n could get what he meant.

in return, she rolled her eyes and lightly laughed. “yeah.. but you know i can’t talk to him anyway. i did see jungwon though.”

dae’s face contorted into disgust while his heart was thumping out of his chest — “jungwon?? why would i care about him?”

“he may be your academic rival, but we all know you guys like each other.” ji-woo chimed in

the two girls nodded in agreement as heeseung’s best friend spoke, “mhm, we always see it whenever we hang out anyway” — referring back to the big group hangouts.

“whatever! what we have going on isn’t important right now.” dae huffed out with a sigh.

the girls giggled with each other before the bell could ring. in a rush, dae and ji-woo situated themselves to their seats while min-su and y/n scurried out to their own classrooms.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

when lunch came, the enhypen members and the girls (plus dae) met together in their usual spot. it was a big group, yes, but everyone was comfortable with each other. ji-woo and jake were dating, heeseung and min-su were best friends — having their own situationship, and jungwon and dae were academic rivals who remained to be in the same friend group. y/n and sunghoon were mutuals, not close with how introverted they were but just friends. they each had their own dynamic going on, creating a stronger bond within the group.

“the lunch is kind of good today..” ji-woo mumbled as she took a bite of her rice.

the group looked at her before letting quiet giggles fill their circle of people. “what??” she added on.

jake smiled at her, placing a soft peck on the cheek as he said, “nothing, just keep eating love.”

“ew, we’re eating right now. could you not?” min-su cringed.

“shut up! just go back to eating,” ji-woo retorted back to her.

a few, scattered chuckles were heard from the group as they went back to doing their own thing.

“you okay there, y/n?” jay asked with a mouthful of meat. he gave a light nudge to the girl as she went out of her spaced out daze. sunghoon’s gaze turned to the two, closely observing her body language.

“what? oh yeah, just tired.” she mumbled, giving an awkward grin to him.

he gave a soft scoff — “that sounded so fake coming from you.” y/n’s jaw dropped as she smacked him on the shoulder.

“shut up, it’s true! it’s just.. really hard to get up early in the mornings.” she truthfully spoke

“girl you don’t even come that early,” dae intervened with an eyebrow raise.

her eyes widened, awkwardly laughing it off as she said, “yeah but i still have to wake up early to drive to school! you know how it is with school traffic and all…”

dae slowly nodded his head, squinting his eyes before eventually giving up to agree with her.

“speaking of morning,” niki paused. “sunghoon got a sticky note on his desk again. you guys know who it is?”

hoon quickly trailed his eyes to y/n, giving her a look that screamed something along the lines of ‘i like you, not this creepy person.’ but she couldn’t bother to return the gaze as her head was low in humiliation.

“same person again?” min-su asked.

the boys nodded in unison. “yeah, they keep bothering him.” sunoo said while biting down on his spoon.

“any person you guys can think of?” jungwon chirped up.

y/n’s three closest friends exchanged a worried look at her, all having the same thought that she shouldn’t be hearing this because it might be breaking her heart. but they didn’t know that the culprit was her, so she tried to beam a smile to show that she was okay with hearing her crush receive love letters.

“it’s a little pathetic that they can’t even confess to me. doing it through a note seems kind of sad.. and desperate.” sunghoon suddenly added his thought. again, he slowly dawdled his eyes towards the girl but she didn’t even look at him. she couldn’t. those words caused a striking pain to the heart. he was trying to divert the potential thought she could’ve been having of if he liked the anonymous person or not. but he only made it worse.

she harshly bit her lips, pleading for no tears to show in her eyes as she looked around to distract herself. nobody noticed, or at least she felt like nobody noticed.

“i do admire their courage to put it on my desk though..” he shyly said with a blush to the ears. the words were a little comforting at least, but it wasn’t enough to make her feel better. his choice of words from before were still ringing in her ears as she felt her world crumbling down.

“that’s a little mean sunghoon…” ji-woo commented with an appalled look. “what if the person just can’t confess to you because they’re scared you might act the way you are right now?”

the boy’s eyes widened as he felt humiliation start to heat up in his cheeks. “that’s not what i meant..”

“yeah love, it’s just a little creepy that they keep sending him sticky notes.” jake explained, handing her the note so the rest of the group could see.

min-su, ji-woo, dae, and the girl who was trying to hold back her tears gathered around the note.

‘0307… those numbers look familiar..’ the three thought in their head. y/n shifted her eyes from the left to the right before she snatched the note in her hands. “no yeah, jake’s right, it is a little creepy. they should stop,” she said with a quiet sniffle.

“right, thank you y/n.”

her friends looked at her after she spoke, eyes laced with concern as they didn’t know how she was taking it — mad? jealous? upset? weirded out as well? they felt troublesome for the girl that this note from an anonymous sender was bothering her.

“mhm,” she confirmed back to jake with a firm head nod. “now excuse me, i gotta pee.” the girl got up with shaky legs as her breath hitched from the cry she forced down in her throat.

when she got to the bathroom, she breathed hard and heavy with her hands on the wall to stabilize herself. “that was humbling,” she mumbled to herself, feeling wet tears softly stain her cheeks.

“i’ll stop the notes then…” y/n confirmed with a heavy heart. her vision was blurry with the tears that remained in her eyes as she felt burdensome with the fact that sunghoon had just confirmed her way of confession to be weird. a few sniffles of the nose were made before she left the bathroom and returned to the group.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

months had gone by and senior year was reaching the end for the group. it was just finals left, and graduation would soon hit them.

within the time that passed, y/n avoided sunghoon in every possible way. he’d try to talk to her in the hallway? she’d pretend her airpods were too loud. he’d ask her about her day? she’d nod and mumble “it’s fine.” he’d try to sit with her at lunch? she’d move and find a spot next to min-su.

the girl honestly didn’t meant to come off as rude, but cutting off any contact with him meant that she’d be able to get over him much easier. her heart just tore apart from having to see him too often in the friend group that she distanced herself away from him. plus, they were never really that close to begin with so what would even have made the difference?

sunghoon, on the other hand, was left confused. from what he could recall, he didn’t do anything wrong. and to add on, no sticky notes were on his desk anymore. he didn’t know if the person just felt the need to stop but they did. however, even with all of his doubt, he still wished it was his favorite girl behind it.

he always felt his heart beating at the thought that it could’ve potentially been y/n. to give in to the thought that she possibly liked him back meant butterflies in his stomach. ‘but that’s pathetic’ — he’d think to himself, rationalizing that the girl had better things than him going on. like college; more specifically, a college outside of their hometown.

y/n got into the college of her dreams and sunghoon couldn’t have been happier as he remembered each time he’d observe from afar, watching her stress about each class but still managing farther than expected. he was proud. he knew the girl that he couldn’t call his would get in, but what did that mean for him?

“last day of school, this feels so sad.” ji-woo pouted with her bottom lip out.

“i don’t know whether to feel happy or sad to be honest.” dae chimed in

“hey you got to be with jungwon after all though, that’s good isn’t it?” y/n acknowledged with a soft grin.

the boy furiously shook his head to agree as he exclaimed — “it definitely is!” everyone giggled at the same time before he added on, “what about you, y/n? still a no with you and sunghoon?”

her lips pursed together as she nodded her head ‘no.’ “it’s best that i don’t confess, we’re already done with school and i’ll be parting soon anyway. he’s just a high school crush..” she tried to excuse with a smile.

“you and sunghoon are literally soulmates! you guys should’ve been dating already, jake and i strongly agreed on that.” said ji-woo with a clear scoff in her throat.

“well we’re not so.. but anyway, enough about me, min-su and heeseung are finally together after being best friends for god-knows how long!” y/n strongly shook the girl she had just mentioned to congratulate her.

“my hee and i are dating now, best believe it!” she exclaimed.

the group erupted in laughter as they continued through other topics.

“i’m gonna miss this, you know? the four of us together in one place. i’m gonna miss you losers,” y/n spoke with a shaky voice.

“shut up! you’re gonna make me cry!” ji-woo hollered from her seat.

the other two agreed as everyone’s eyes quickly watered. “i’m serious, i’m gonna miss this so much when i leave.” she confirmed, shaking her head to leave the tears behind. “once graduation happens, we’ll only have just a few weeks left.”

“BITCH shut up right now!” min-su yelled as she let tears run down her cheeks.

dae sniffled with a hint of red around his eyelids as he said, “you guys are gonna make me cry now!”

the group gathered into a hug as they let out soft sobs together. their last day of school was already an emotional train wreck.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

the dreaded day had finally arrived. graduation came too soon before they could even process it.

as the principal was giving their speech, y/n sat in the front stands with her friends and the enhypen members. of course, she made sure to sit far from sunghoon — causing him to sit in the second row while she sat in the first row.

after getting her high school diploma, she sat down near her sobbing friends.

“park sunghoon,” the school staff announced.

her heart lit up with a shock at the name. she watched him go up to the stage and take hold of the paper in his hands. he beamed a bright and sweet smile toward the amidst of the crowd. she felt her heart softened as her eyes watered.

‘this is it,’ y/n thought to herself while taking a deep breath. ‘this is the last time i’ll ever see him at a school campus. the place where i fell in love with him.’

without even realizing, tears had fallen down her cheeks as she still watched him walk down the stage. once she took another breath of air, she felt her heart tear while a heavy weight had lifted off of her shoulders.

sunghoon’s eyes scanned around the stadium before letting it go to her. his demeanor softened and all he wanted to do was hug her goodbye. he knew it himself that she was leaving, and he didn’t want her to go. to him, she was his first love. even if they weren’t together and she was avoiding him, he could feel the mutual bond for their open-ended closure. the glance he gave to her was everything they both needed.

as the graduation continued, each member received their diploma as well. and with that, they graduated. the group had gone through everything together in their years of high school, and this was their ending. all that was left was their goodbye to the people who were leaving for college.

so when the time came, y/n was the first to go. she found it better to leave first so she could get over sunghoon quicker, and also not have a hard time with goodbyes to the others. she was only leaving for summer school but found it better to transition to the fall quarter right away — leaving no time to come back home in the time between.

the others were leaving too, but just at a much later time. ji-woo would head off in about two months, staying in a long distance relationship with jake. jungwon and dae were going to the same college together outside of their hometown in about a month; while min-su and heeseung were going to the same college as well but just in their hometown.

jay was leaving around the same time as ji-woo. sunghoon, sunoo, and niki would be going to the same college as min-su and heeseung.

with y/n being the first to go, a hangout was thrown in her favor on the day of. tears and weeping goodbyes could only be unfolded as they weren’t ready to see her leave. sunghoon especially. he tried to hold back his verge of tears, but he couldn’t, knowing that he was about to let his first love go.

when the time came and her family was parked outside, everyone couldn’t stop holding onto the girl.

“why do you have to go so early? you just hate us huh?” ji-woo incoherently mumbled through her sobs.

y/n gave a chuckle at her words — “i had to.” but she honestly didn’t have to. she was just leaving to make things easier on herself and everyone else.

“guess it’s time to go..” she murmured to everyone.

she hugged each person goodbye as she felt her hands tremble. it was a new beginning she was about to embark on, and she didn’t know how she’d be able to do it without them.

“goodbye min-su, i’ll miss you so much..” y/n flung her arms around the girl as she let tears drop.

“you bitch, why do you have to go?” min-su rhetorically asked, shaking her.

her lips curled into a smile as she moved onto dae. “goodbye dae, have fun with jungwon in college..” she mumbled while holding him into a tight embrace.

“don’t go, y/n!” he yelled, causing a laugh to be erupted from her.

the girl let go of him to move onto ji-woo. “goodbye ji-woo, i know you’ll do great in college.” she whispered against her ears.

“i’m gonna take you back with me, i swear.” jake’s girlfriend threatened back.

“shut up,” y/n uttered to her.

she then gave a hug to each enhypen member, letting them whisper sweet encouragements in her ear. sunghoon was the last, of course he was. he patiently waited for the girl to make her round as he felt thrilled to hug her but also heartbroken that it’d be their first and last hug.

after hugging niki, she finally reached him. her lips coiled into a soft smile as her eyes began to water.

“sunghoon..” she exhaled a heavy breath of hers. “i’ll miss you.”

y/n slowly let her arms wrap around his neck as his hands reached toward her waist. he groaned out a hurtful sigh as he reeled in her embrace. he was gonna miss this, miss her.

as he laid his head on her shoulder, she heard him give soft sniffles against her hair. “you’re leaving so early,” he softly joked.

they pulled away at the same time and she watched him light up with a half smile.

“can you give me your hand?” her hand reached out for his and he hesitantly gave it. when he felt their hands touch, his heart stopped for a second before rapidly picking up again.

in seconds, his hands were met with a papered texture. when he peaked his eyes open, his mouth opened in shock. it was the neutral-colored sticky notes he always received from the secret admirer.

before he could speak, she did it first — “it was me, funny huh?” she formed her lips into a line and lightly chuckled at his reaction. his eyes stared into hers as he felt quite lost and confused. everything in his ears were deafening out with each second he processed that it was her.

the group stayed quiet as they mirrored his expression. there were many words they could say but they couldn’t quite grasp onto it with how she had just revealed that it was her.

when y/n was about to say something herself, a honking from the car was heard — hinting that she needed to go.

“it’s time..”

her hand that held onto his lingered for a little more, praying that he’d hold her back or say something to confess. just do anything to show that he liked her back for that little figment of hope she had left. but he didn’t, so she walked away.

y/n waved goodbye to everyone and soon enough, her presence was gone and would be making its way to another hometown.

sunghoon froze in his place, feeling like his feet were glued to the ground as he replayed the words he said that made her stop sending the notes he secretly loved. he smacked his hand to his head as he knew things had now changed, only to realize that the last post-it note she gave were still in his hands.

┌── •✧• ──┐

surprise, sunghoon! sorry for being

so creepy, i didn’t know how to do

this, but have fun in college. i’ll always

be cheering for you from afar! this is

probably a little pathetic huh? lol :)

sorry if i made you uncomfortable,

but be safe :)

— y/n <3

└── •✧• ──┘

sunghoon’s heart shattered. he felt like such an idiot with how he treated the notes. he wished she was still here, he wished he confessed, he wished they had gotten together with how they liked each other. but he was too late. of course he was, because now, she was gone and he couldn’t do anything else. but after all, how could he hope for something that could’ve never been possible in the first place?

the relationship had been left with unsaid words that they couldn’t express to each other, and nothing could save it.

his hand crumbled up into a fist with how frustrated he got with himself. “fucking idiot,” he whispered.

“you really didn’t know?” dae asked with an eyebrow raise while placing himself near jungwon.

sunghoon only shook his head as he bit his lip, letting tears drop in a rush of seconds. “i’m late aren’t i?” he said, chuckling at his rhetorical question.

“afraid so hoon..” min-su confirmed, taking heeseung’s hand in hers afterwards.

his fist soon opened and found something scribbled on the back.

┌── •✧• ──┐

i love you sunghoon, but you’re

not mine.

└── •✧• ──┘

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

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callsign-joyride · 8 months ago

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The Tortured Poets Department - Tom "Iceman" Kazansky

Summary: Tom surprises you with a proposal. Content Warnings: Fluff, and this is so short (sorry) Pairing: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky x reader Lyric: "At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on, and that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding."

Buy me a coffee

It was one of your favorite times where you and Tom would have a date night at one of the local restaurants. There wasn’t really any reason in particular for the date nights, but the two of you liked to take the time to enjoy each other’s company without any distractions. It never took too long for you to get a table, since he usually called in advance to save a table. The waitress took your drink orders and you talked for a few minutes before she came back with your beers and complimentary chips and dip.

“Hey, let me see your hand real quick,” he said as he pointed to your left hand.

“Um, okay. Is there a reason why?” You asked. He just shook his head and gently reached for your hand, gazing at the sapphire ring on your middle finger that he got you while he was deployed in France. You both chuckled as he moved it to your ring finger.

“I just wanted to see how it looked on the right finger,” he said.

“Are you-,”

“Not tonight, no.”

The two of you had talked about family expectations in the past, and you both knew that you wanted to get married and have kids someday. You never put any pressure on him to propose, since he had mentioned that he wanted to wait until he was able to rank up before making a big life decision. You had a condo together, but everything else was separate for the most part. You’d pay the cable bill when he was on deployment, but he’d pay half of it when he was home since you were both using it.

You ordered a cheesecake and began to split it, taking the rest home and putting it in the fridge. You cracked open another beer and sat on the couch while Tom listened to any voicemails. There were some drunken ones from Maverick and Goose, but that was pretty much it.

Charlie had invited you over for lunch the next day, and you talked about your night while sharing a fruit salad.

“I think he’s gonna propose soon. He told me that he wasn’t going to propose last night, but he did the ring thing. I don’t know what else to think of it, y’know?”

She chuckled and stabbed a piece of watermelon with her fork.

“What?”

“Okay, I’m not supposed to say anything. He’s gonna propose next weekend before the air show. He’s put a lot of effort into the whole thing, so don’t make it seem like you know that something’s up.”

The week went by quickly, and before you knew it, you and Tom were driving to base for the air show. You agreed to drop him off and watch takeoff with the Bradshaws, since it would be less crowded than the field that they would be flying over. Tom held your hand as he walked over to his jet and made sure that everything was in working order. Carol and Bradley were across the tarmac with Goose and Maverick, so you really weren’t sure how Tom planned on proposing.

He said that he needed to make sure that his shoes were tied tight enough, which wasn’t out of the ordinary for him. You turned around and waved to Bradley and Carol, and then Carol screamed and told you to turn around.

Tom was on one knee with a diamond ring in a small, black leather box. You let out a squeal and he grinned as he started to give his speech about how much he loved you and how much he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you.

“Will you marry me?” He asked. You nodded and he stood up, giving you a hug and a kiss before slipping the ring on your finger.

“Oh my God, it’s beautiful.”

“I had it made out of recycled parts. Mav’s idea.”

“Huh, I never thought he’d be good for anything,” you said with a laugh. Tom laughed and spun you around in his arms before putting you back down.

Taglist:

@littlebadariell @cycbaby @luckyladycreator2 @idontcare-11 @blue-aconite @maverick-wingman @shawty-fenty @littlemisstopgun @rosiahills22 @katieshook02 @justanothermagicalsara @caitsymichelle13 @smoothdogsgirl @adoringsebstan @cherrycola27 @alexxavicry @mrsjaderogers @mak-32 @thefandomimagines @tallrock35 @caatheeriinee07 @bradshawseresinbabe @atarmychick007 @3sriracha @genius2050 @halstead-severide-fan @withakindheartx @Lolliepops2501 @avengersfan25

Taglist form (Google form, email is not asked)

#top gun #top gun fic #tom kazansky x reader #iceman x reader #tom iceman kazansky #top gun 86 #top gun imagines #x reader #reader insert #tom kazansky x you #the tortured poets department #ttpd

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hyunjilicious · 1 year ago

Text

[perv!bang chan x f!reader] and also [lee felix x reader but established relationship]

Summary: the 'there was only one bed trope' but with a twist, because there were more beds available, you were already in a perfect relationship with Felix, and neither of you knew just how head over heels for you Chan was (SMUT) 3k

Warning: obsessed!Chan, like crazy after you why-is-she-so-perfect!Chan, unprotected sex, fucking while someone's supposed to be sleeping in the same bed?? (😭), Chan's a bit of a perv so mentions of creampies, masturbation (m.), cum play, oral (m. receiving), hints of degradation etc. also unedited 🤧 18+ PLS

"I think I'm gonna go to sleep" you mumbled, jolting awake after the sound of an explosion ripped through the room. You rubbed your cheek against Felix's shoulder as a little goodbye, and prepared to stand up.

"No, no, wait!" he called for you, hands still on the controller and eyes still on the enemies on the screen. "I'm coming with you, gimme a sec"

"Hey" Jeongin nudged Felix in the side, him too partially absorbed by the game as he spoke, "We just started this campaign, you're not going to sleep unless you find someone to take your place"

"Yeah, but-"

"Lixie, it's fine" you cooed, pecking the top of his head, "Play all night if you want, don't worry"

"Are you sure?" he asked, turning to face you only for Jeongin to snap.

"Dude!" he cried, doing his best to cover his lovesick friend, "Pay attention, we'll get surrounded"

"Shit, sorry" Felix resumed playing only for his friend to chuckle.

"It's ok"

"I'm gonna go now, ok?" you giggled and advanced towards the door. "Make sure to win!"

Despite turning his head to face you, Felix's eyes remained on the screen. "Good night, angel. I love you"

"Good night, Y/n!"

"Good night, guys. And good luck!"

After leaving their room, you stopped by the kitchen for a little snack, washed your face, changed into your pajamas and then joined Chan in bed.

This wasn't the first time you, Felix and Chan all shared a room, but it was the first time it happened because neither of you bothered to think of the sleeping arrangements before renting the cabin.

With 4 double beds and 9 people in the group, Chan decided to take one for the team and be the one to sleep on the couch. And he would've done just that, had the living room not been the main hangout spot day and night - so that was why he was there tonight, in your bed, almost drifting off, because you and Felix were the most adamant about having him a decent place to sleep.

"Hey, Y/n" Chan greeted you, only his eyes peeking from under the fluffy duvet. "Where's Felix?"

"Playing"

"Still?" he gasped, "It's almost 3"

Laughing, you got in bed under the covers, "I know, I'm surprised too. You're in bed before him and I.n. Never thought I'd live to see this"

"Maybe it's my turn to be an early bird, who knows?" he said softly, eyes drifting closed as the words left his mouth. The light was swiftly turned off, and silence settled.

Truth be told, you were extremely tired and Chan sleeping so close to you wasn't a source of discomfort, yet somehow, your brain refused to settle into a peaceful sleep. You were used to sleeping without Felix due to your schedules, what you weren't used to however was sleeping without him when he was in the same building as you. But, with no plans for the next day, you settled for slipping in and out of consciousness, slightly amused by Chan's little snores as you waited for Felix to come to bed.

At one point, during one of those little time frames where you managed to fall asleep, you were jostled awake by the feeling of the mattress dipping on either side of your hips.

"Felix?" you mumbled, trying to turn around but the weight on your back kept you pinned into place. "Felix, what are you doing?" this time you giggled, knowing very well that no one else would be shamelessly kissing your neck like that.

"Quiet, love" he shushed you and moved on to attack the other side of your neck, "Mm, so sweet"

"Felix, what are you doing!?" you whispered - or moaned, smiling as you tried to pry him off of you.

"Shh, you'll wake Chan"

You were about to ask something, say something - mumble whatever, but then you felt it, "Felix-" you cupped his cheek, "That's your phone, right?"

"My phone's here, flower" he grinned and waved it around in his hand that was resting by your pillow.

"What did you and Jeongin do?" you laughed, the feeling of his rock hard cock against your ass helping you awaken fully. You were ready to get out of bed, head to the bathroom, hop in the shower maybe, relieve the stress somehow, but he had other ideas.

"Doesn't matter, all I know is that I want you now"

But you didn't get a chance to even try to stand up because his hand found its way past the waistband of your pants, under your underwear and to your pussy in record time.

"Felix!" you whispered exasperated, "Chan's right here! Are you insane!?"

"He's fast asleep, relax"

"Felix! He can wake at any moment!"

"Be quiet if you don't want that to happen" he groaned, and tugged down your pants without even the tiniest bit of help from you.

Unable to suppress your lust induced grin, you watched him over your shoulder as he worked himself out of his own sweatpants, his cock springing free, hard and throbbing against your naked ass.

"Quiet, yeah?" he more so demanded, but then refused to help you whatsoever. He knew what he was doing, pushing your limits - of self control, fed on the fact that Chan might catch you - his cock aching at the thought. And the fact that you were visibly on the same length, pussy wet and warm against his fingers, your heart beating rapidly under him, only fueled him more. Maybe you wanted Chan to hear you. It drove him wild.

Initially, he was going to work you up a bit, get you right where he wanted you with a few simple but experienced flicks of his fingers, but you were already there, panting and waiting. So, without bothering to waste any more time, he guided himself to your entrance and rammed his cock inside you, balls deep from the first thrust.

"Fuck!" the whine involuntarily broke past your lips, forcing you to press your face into the pillow.

"Easy, baby, like that" Felix praised you, his tone deep and raspy against your ear, as he started rolling his hips into yours.

Knowing you should keep quiet made everything worse. Every single sense was amplified, you could feel his breath - hear it, hot and goosebumps worthy. One of his arms around your body, the other one right beside your head - his hand, gathered into a fist, and his silver rings having the faint light from outside beautifully roll off them inches away from your lips. He smelled pretty - chocolate on his lips and the cologne he always wore. It was bad, you were done for, because the second your mind wandered off and you felt every single little vein on his throbbing cock rub against your walls, you bit into your lips and cried in order to suppress your moan.

"Angel" Felix threatened, "You're too loud, you'll wake him up"

"Felix-" you barely said before he slapped his hand against your mouth, lowered himself completely on top of you and fully halted his movements.

Only when Felix stilled, did you hear Chan. Wide eyed and terrified, you both watched him roll onto his back to face the ceiling - mouth slightly open as he prepared to resume snoring.

You wanted to say something, but Felix's hand covering your mouth wasn't budging. "Think you can shut up, love?" he asked.

Had you two been alone, you'd have dared push it and swear you'd be quiet, but with Chan stirring in his sleep mere inches away from Felix's dick which was balls deep inside your cunt, you didn't really need the extra adrenaline. So you just squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head against his hand, your honesty making him chuckle.

"That's ok, I got you"

His tone was reassuring, he knew how to talk to you to keep you calm, but he did it on purpose now. He had no reason to be this sweet only to then resume his thrusting with no warning whatsoever.

You couldn't call his name, you couldn't moan, couldn't cry, all that was left for you to do was sink - and drown under the weight of his body on top of yours. His thrusts were slow but deep and rhythmic, enough to drive you crazy, but again, he knew you.

"Can you cum for me like this?" he questioned again against your ear.

He knew it wasn't always exactly the easiest for you to finish, and he knew exactly what to do and how to do it in order to get you there, but what he didn't know was just how much Chan's presence affected you. He was about to find out though, and you weren't exactly excited for the conversation.

Oh, the dread. It was excruciating for him really, the anxiety making it all worse. What kind of a pervert just lays there listening - what kind of a man - oh, the whimpers. Fuck.

Why did he think turning over to sleep on his back would be a better idea - less pressure on his throbbing cock, obviously, but his face was exposed and one long enough look from either you or Felix and his cover would have been blown. No one sweats that much in their sleep, no one breathes like that when they're supposed to be far away, deep inside the dreamland, unless it was a nightmare. But the more he thought about it, that was what this was, a long, painful and disgusting nightmare.

He didn't know when it all stopped, when either of you finished. Chan wished he could've heard you, maybe also stolen a glance but it was too much, too risky, he knew he'd have never been able to look either of you in the eye if he had been caught.

But once it was all done, once it was all over and you two had cleaned up and cuddled into each other to sleep, he finally felt free enough to turn around and face away from you. Now he could keep his eyes open and squint in pain as much as he needed, as just because his best friend was done fucking the love of his life, didn't mean his raging erection suddenly disappeared.

What he was waiting for was a snore, a loud noise which you'd both ignore, something, anything, to let him know you were both asleep and that he could get out of bed.

While in reality it had been no more than 20 minutes since Felix entered the bedroom, to Chan it felt like it was already the last day of vacation, as if a whole week had been drained out of him by the time he finally reached the bathroom.

He had never hopped in the shower as fast as he did now, not even waiting for the water to warm up. He just propped himself there, one hand against the marble wall and his head hanging low as he stood and cursed.

He hoped the water would not only wash away the sweat off his body, but also the absolute obscenities that crossed his mind. The way he grabbed his cock was involuntary, making him hiss in pain from the amount of torture he had been put through.

It was him whimpering in the empty bathroom but he could only hear you, the way you breathed, moaned, and called his best friend's name. The water had barely warmed up enough to not sting his skin, but it was already steaming off of him.

"Fuck-" Chan cursed, furiously pumping his cock in his hand. He did his best not to picture you there, kneeling in front of him, mouth wide open and ready to receive his cum. He tried so hard not to imagine what your cunt felt like, what it was like to grip your hair into his fist, what sounds you made when he hurt you just enough to make your pussy tighten around him.

And because his mind was intoxicated and only god could judge him now, he couldn't help but wonder what your relationship with Felix was like - what talks you had and how much you had done together, because no random couple decides to fuck like this out of nowhere. How many times when you two had slipped away, was it actually so that he could fuck you? At the studio? When you offered to head downstairs and grab the food for everyone and Felix insisted he helped you? At Chan’s parties when you pretended to need a breath of fresh air? When you two would sleep over on his couch? Had he fucked you there? Chan’s cock twitched at the thought of you getting your cunt pounded in his bathroom, a hand clamped against your mouth so that he wouldn't find out what kind of a cock thirsty whore you were.

"Damn it" he cried again, only needing a few more painful strokes to finish. Your name left his lips as cum shot out of his tip, wasting away down the drain.

This was ridiculous, he felt pathetic. Usually when he got himself off alone, he was hit with a wave of lucidity right after. Not now, though. Now he was aching to go again. But it would've been useless, the shower didn't do anything, he wanted to cum inside you, on you, to see his cum on your fingers, on your lips, to hear you beg for it. He wanted to see you cry and choke on his cock, to see the little tears at the corners of your eyes as you preferred to keep his dick down your throat a bit more rather than breathe. He was fucked.

But everyone was asleep, a ridiculously long shower wouldn't raise any suspicion - that was what he said to himself as he grabbed his cock again and went for another round.

By the time Chan walked downstairs and into the kitchen, it was already morning. He busied himself around the cabin, made himself a little breakfast which he couldn't eat, and then buried his nose in his phone waiting for any of his friends to wake up.

Seungmin was the first to join him, and not much time passed before the two of them decided to head out and get whatever other groceries would be needed for that day's lunch. The ride wasn't long and the local supermarket didn't offer the broadest variety of products, so the trip had been much shorter than Chan had hoped.

When they returned to the cabin, almost everyone was already awake - the kitchen and the living space buzzing with life. It looked like just about any other morning, but some things that he was technically used to, bothered him now more than ever.

Why the fuck weren't you wearing a bra? There were 8 men around you, why didn't you care they could all see your nipples? Why didn't Felix care?

"You two!" Changbin called as soon as he spotted his friends. "The food is getting cold, where have you been?"

"Shopping" Chan motioned to the bags. He placed them on whatever free counter space he found and started unpacking. "I already ate, thanks though"

"I haven't!" Minnie rubbed his hands together, "What do we have?"

Grateful for the positioning of the fridge, Chan kept his back at the rest of the room as he carefully placed the groceries inside the refrigerator. He looked normal, but he felt sick, and wanted to be out of there as soon as possible. As he did his thing, he carefully listened to your voice, breathing relieved as he could hear you talking about the fruits you just chopped.

"Channie!" he neatly dropped the meat he was holding as you popped out of nowhere right beside him. How the fuck did he miss that? "Do you wanna try?"

Ah, you weren't wearing pants either. Sure, the shirt covered your ass, and sure, half the guys were topless, so it was probably fine for you to be walking around like that, but then why did his breathing get heavier.

"What's-" he cleared his throat, "What's that?"

"Ice cream" you said. "I made it with Felix while you two were out. I wanna know what you guys think. We only made this little. We didn't wanna make a whole gallon of ice cream in case it was bad. So? Try it!"

"If you want us to tell you what we think about it, why won't you let us try it!?" Hyunjin yelled in frustration.

"Eat your breakfast first, you child" you laughed and went to grab a spoon for Chan. "Here!"

"Ah, it's good. Damn, it's so good" his eyes widened progressively as the taste settled in. He went for another try, his smile widening as the ice cream melted on his tongue.

"Really? It's good?" Felix beamed from across the kitchen, walking over as he dried his hands on a towel, "You like it?"

"Mhm! It's amazing! When are you making more?"

"We thought after lunch?" Felix nodded. "The guys said we should head to the pool this afternoon, so I think it'll be enough time for it to cool down until we get back"

"Do we really have to go swimming?" you cringed in disgust, your eyes begging Felix to reconsider.

"Yes!" he kissed your temple. He didn't even try to hide just how little he cared about your disinterest, which only deepened your frown. "I'm done with you not knowing how to swim. You promised me you'd learn. It could save your life one day"

You pouted. "What about Minho?"

"Hey!" the man in question yelled from the living room. "It may have taken me a whole week, but I can swim now. Doggy style, but I can do it!"

"Doggy style" Felix laughed to himself. "If Minho can do it, so can you, love"

"Well… when you put it like that…"

"Great" Felix beamed, and started walking away as he pointed at his friend. "Plus, Chan can teach you. He's much better than I am."

That snapped him out of his trance, god knows where his mind had wandered these past few moments. "I can do what?"

"Teach her doggy style" Felix chuckled.

"Teach me how to swim" you rolled your eyes, "Right?"

Fuck.

#bang chan x reader #bang chan smut #lee felix x reader #lee felix smut #bang chan fanfic #lee felix imagines #bang chan imagines #lee felix fanfic #skz imagines #stray kids x reader

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