#Gonna stop

[notyetbulletproof]

I think about how Anthony hasn’t let anyone see him break. Nor has Kate. How they walk out of rooms and step into quiet unseen places to panic or fall apart. How Anthony literally leaves the room in a huff (others often mistaking he is angry or upset) to ensure his anxieties are seen by no one. How Kate leaves in indignation (seemingly so) and is hyper-defensive when confronted but is really trying desperately to reign in her emotions. How they both (sometimes one better than the other) had to teach themselves how to regulate, how to calm down. Not always in the most healthy of ways. Kate never plays small with anyone EXCEPT (arguably the most important people in her life) - her family. Pushing down her needs to serve theirs. They’ve let her. Whether intentionally or not, they’ve let her dull her shine so they can shine. Anthony takes on every responsibility till he breaks. Whether intended or not, his family yells to be free of him but still require him to help them navigate scandals and the uncharted waters of what it means to exist in society in the roles and positions they have been afforded. No one really sees them (Kate or Anthony). No one truly knows them. It’s not that no one wants to. It’s that they became too good at being what other people needed (not always what people wanted), they stopped being who they themselves wanted to be. “Consumed by the expectations of others” or consumed by ensuring their siblings/family would never know a harsher fate. Doing everything in their power to ensure they had choices and freedoms (and yes to some degree not seeing the irony in the controlling nature doing that would entail). 

All this to say that no one really saw them in their moments of weakness. Its not that no one had called them out or pointed out certain insecurities (Simon, Lady Danbury, Violet, the rude ass that is Lady Sheffield all knew where to hit) but no one had really seen them crack until each other. More importantly, no one had guided them through it like each other. Yes, in Season 2, Kate guided and soothed Anthony more than he did her but that could easily be attributed to the story focus being on Anthony and the whole POV thing. Which is why we’re all praying for better Kate coverage next season as she steps into her role as Viscountess. Come on! There is so much to tell with those parallels thanks. Still we see it in the Library, we see it in him standing up to the Sheffields (they attacked Kate and Kate’s family and he would not stand idly by as they continued to do so), we see it in the closet, we see it post bungled wedding ceremony as the families promenade. We see it in the gazebo before sexy times ;).

Anthony chooses Kate and asks her to stay. To be seen, to step into the light. And he shows her that he’ll stand with her. Stay with her. Show up for her. Support her. Kate saw him panicking and immediately switched from annoyed to ANGEL okay? She recognised his fear and did not judge him for it or push to know why immediately, she was kind and patient and focused on helping him navigate his first public panic attack. The only other person to possibly catch on to how to do this (a little) was everyone’s favourite Brother- and quite frankly before Kate (and Simon through the Oxford years), Anthony’s Best Friend- Benedict. Still was that because Benedict is observant and takes notice of people and always knows what people need in any given situation. He didn’t know what was going on exactly but he found a way to give Anthony what he needed- respite and time away from the incessant questions. Yet the only ones Kate and Anthony had allowed to see them like that in years—- were each other. Before eventually, their respective Mothers (which is a big deal in and of itself) but it’s a pretty big and important thing to share and it just adds to the complexity of their dynamic and their importance to the other. More importantly their traumas don’t cancel out the other or worse add pressure to each other. There is no co-dependency. They are not enabling the self-destructive tendencies of the other person. Instead these are 2 people who survived one way for so long that meeting each other jolted them awake and loving each other forced them to confront the parts of their coping strategies that no longer served them. That’s not to say they’re all whole and healed but they’re trying to heal. They’re trying to be present and enjoy the life they worked so hard to maintain and enjoying it together. Being happy in a way they never allowed themselves to be before. Letting love in, choosing themselves and choosing each other and taking it all in step by step, day by day, sharing the load and supporting each other. They cannot fight their demons for each other but they can stand with each other as they fight and navigate the effects of the traumas that shaped them. They can hold each other accountable. Challenge each other. Support each other. Love each other.

[parspicle]

wheep whoop it’s time for soy kids 

[7aki]

the ugliest thing is when you reach out to check up on old friends you haven't spoken to in ages (who don't check in on you) who act really formal with you. like truly wish I didn't even reach out in the first place.

[the-chaos-goose]

[zilmart]

"I am hope"

Insta | Twitter

[finalgoob]

coming out of his cage, doing not fine

[croutondave]

"so tired of the childrens hospital jokes" "stop running horse plinko into the ground" you're entering the circus hut and complaining when there are clowns there

[gatoiberico]

caught up on the show and now he's on my mind 24/7 again

[bl00dalchemist]

This one i like.

[inkedmyths]

Ok. Ok so I've seen people do this with Homestuck. But I already read Homestuck. So let's try something else.

*leans in close to the mic*

10k notes and I will watch Supernatural

[adobe-outdesign]

for Scarlet and Violet’s gimmick, I would like to propose something called hattenizing. When used in battle, Pokemon gain a special “hattenized” form which is just their regular form but with a sick hat to wear. this changes absolutely nothing and is wholly pointless. I will not be taking questions

[readtomanyfanfics]

It sure feels like 84 years.

[salamispots]

hELP

[marvelouspenny]

mood after watching vol. 2:

[randomjreader]

@/maxhovey on tiktok

[elesketchii]

‘yeah this movie was pretty mid tbh could’ve been better’ (starts fixating on it)