#Gonna see it at 3:10 !! Er i just need to finish up my assignments of the day and get ready.. im leaving in 30 mins though for other errand

[cconfusedkat]

I have been a MAJOR fan of Wicked for a couple of years now, and nd I'm gonna see the movie today ww ,, I heard ariana kept in sooo many aspects of the musical and i look forward to that 🥺❤️‍🩹 eee

[oscars-wifeyyy]

Chapter 3 (The Innocent)

The next day came around, Cesar, Monse, and Elizabeth were walking to school. The three were talking when Jamal and Ruby rode past them with their bikes.

“Get out the way,” Ruby called out as Jamal imitated a care engine.

Elizabeth chuckled, but gags when Cesar kissed Monse, “I love y’all, but don’t do that in front of me,”

“Eli, shut up,” Cesar rolled his eyes, “you and my brother probably do that when you’re alone,”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Elizabeth looked at him confused.

“Nothing,” Cesar shrugged as the three continued on their way to school.

Elizabeth was in class with Ruby and Olivia when the intercom came on with the announcements, “Attention, students. One last reminder to buy your tickets to tonight’s homecoming dance. A magical night of wonder, excitement, and romance can be yours for only $10.99,”

“So…” Ruby trailed off, “you going?”

“Yeah,” Olivia smiled, “Do you…”

“Do you…” Ruby started at the same time as Olivia, “you go first,”

“Do you need any underwear?” Elizabeth started laughing at the turn of events.

“What?” Ruby asked, horrified.

“ Your mom’s at Costco,” Olivia explained.

“Um…” Ruby turned to look straight, “I’m good,”

“Ok,” Olivia turned back to her phone, “also, they ran out of your gummy vitamins so your mom got you small easy to swallow pills. That cool?”

Ruby hummed in embarrassment while Elizabeth couldn’t breathe and began weezing at the turn of events. She had to contain herself when Ruby turned and glared at her so she looked down and took out her notebook with her lips sealed, but still let out a few laughs. The teacher arrived inside the class and began the lesson so Elizabeth listened and took notes as her eyes drifted towards the clock to see how long left until class is over.

Lunch came around and Elizabeth was the first one to get to the table with her food, she sat with her food in front of her and a book. A few pages turned and a couple bites into her food, the group finally came to the table so she put away her book and looked to the group, but an awkward pause passed.

“I’m wearing indigo tonight,” Ruby interrupted the silence, “I thought we should claim colors to avoid outfit clases. Indigo? Any objections?”

“Nah, Ruby. All you, man,” Elizabeth chuckled.

“Oh, and my pants have red pockets. I know, it sounds weird, but it works,” Ruby continued.

“What are the pockets for?” Olivia asked before she leaned towards Monse, “Roofies?”

The boys and Elizabeth looked at them weird, “so what time should we meet?” Cesar asked the group.

“Yeah, let’s get that in the books. More specific, the better,” Jamal said, “what are you guys thinking, like 8? 8:05? 8:10?”

“I’m gonna play it by ear,” Olivia replied, “I don’t think I’m feeling it,”

“What? Why?” Ruby asked.

“Not sure I’m in the mood to be objectified,” Olivia smiled sarcastically, “if I want to see boners, I’ll look online,”

“Didn’t you hear Principle Serge? Dance is a no-bone zone,” Jamal brought up the announcement.

“Are you kidding me? Dances are cesspools of bad behavior,” Cesar shook his head at Monse’s strategy, “I don’t wanna go,”

“Yeah, people get freaky, but what’s wrong with that?” Ruby shrugged, “I don’t get it,”

“Yeah, Monse. Why don’t you wanna go? Explain it to us. You were pretty excited this morning,” Cesar pried into Monse.

“That was before I remembered that dances are lame,” Monse glared at the boy, “and maybe we’re not in the mood,”

“Oh,” Ruby looked as if he realized something, “is it your menses?”

Elizabeth started laughing while Olivia looked at him weird, “her what?”

“Her lady pond runneth red,” Ruby said before Jamal hit him on his arm to stop.

“My what?” Monse glared at Ruby.

“What?” Ruby looked genuinely confused, “what am I saying wrong?”

“Everything!” The two girls exclaimed at the confused friend.

“You guys just don’t understand what it’s like to be a woman and treated like an object,” Monse looked at the guys, “we have hearts!”

“And minds,” Olivia added, “so take out any question that we’re going tonight. The answer is no. with a period, ‘cause that’s what it’s actually called,”

“Girls, let’s dine in a less hostile environment,” Monse stood up.

“You read my mind,” Olivia rolled her eyes.

“I gotta go anyway to finish some assignments,” Elizabeth chuckled as she grabbed her backpack, “I don’t know what happened, but I’ll see y’all later,”

The day went by as classes dragged on until the last bell rang and students flooded the halls to leave the place they personally called hell. Elizabeth was part of the last few people in the flood since she needed to go to her locker and pick up her homework, but when she walked out and saw the feared gang leader inside his beloved cherry red Impala. She wanted to turn back and exit through the back; however, he already saw her when he got out and leaned his back into the car, staring at her. The girl decided to try to ignore him and walk past without a glance. She was about to walk past until he gently held her right hand before she walked past.

“Mamita,” Oscar smirked at the girl, “you ain’t getting rid of me easy so get in the car,”

Elizabeth glared at the older man in front of her, “nah, I got some shit to focus on so I’ll catch up with Ruby and Jamal,”

Oscar’s smirked dropped as he quickly, but gently pushed her against his car, resting his hands on the top of the car, “they may be tu amigos pero I’m not afraid to beat their asses,”

Elizabeth felt everyone’s eyes on them so she rolled her eyes and complied, not wanting to be the center of everyone’s attention. Oscar smirked and kissed her forehead before moving to open the passenger door for her. The gang leader went to the driver’s side and turned to his passenger.

“Where do you wanna go?” Oscar took the blunt behind his ear.

“Home,” Elizabeth’s stomach decided to rumble at that moment.

Oscar chuckled, “Nah, we stoppin’ somewhere to eat. Whatchu feelin’?”

“Nuggets. Chicken nuggets. Let’s go to McDonald’s and you’re paying since you’re kinda kidnapping me,” Elizabeth glared at Oscar.

“Alright, mamita. Whatever you say,” Oscar smirked at the irritated girl as he turned into the parking lot of a McDonald’s.

The two got out once he parked and went inside to put in their order. While the two were waiting, she got a text from the girls group chat asking if she was going to the dance with them. She didn’t know that Oscar moved to stand right behind her, chest touching back, and saw the text.

“You goin’ to the dance?” Oscar asked.

“Don’t know,” Elizabeth shrugged, turning to face him, “might pick up an extra shift that night at the restaurant,”

“Nope. You’re not because you study too much and work too much,” Oscar shook his head and laid a hand on her waist, “you and I are hanging out tonight,”

“I need to, ‘Scar,” Elizabeth rolled her eyes as she pushed his hand off her waist, “deje de tratar de tocarme,”

“Por que, bebita? I can’t help myself. eres demasiado hermosa,” Oscar smirked as he wrapped an arm around her neck and walked to the register to order their food.

“Hello. Welcome to McDonald’s. What can I get you guys?”

“Let’s get the 20 piece chicken nuggets combo and a number one,” Oscar took out his wallet and brought out two twenties.

Oscar got his change as Elizabeth went to the soda fountain and chose her drink, Oscar coming up from behind and choosing his. They decided to take a sit next to the pick up counter and small talked their way until the food came out.

Elizabeth looked down at her food as she dipped her nugget in ranch, “Oscar, why are you trying so hard to get at me? I’m nothing special and there are a lot of other girls that want you and will make time for you. I’m not gonna lie, I barely have time to even hang out with my friends so I’m barely gonna have time for you,”

Oscar swallowed the food in his mouth, “Well, I want you because there is something about you. No me importa si apenas tienes tiempo, siempre y cuando me des algo de tu tiempo. Let me claim you as mine, bebe,”

The two ate their food, moving past the subject, and made their way home, but Oscar passed Elizabeth’s house and continued making his way farther from her house.

“Oscar, where are you going? We passed my house,” Elizabeth was getting confused.

“I just wanna show you something,” Oscar glance at her.

Oscar drove in silence as his right arm had moved to rest behind Elizabeth, his hand lightly touching her right shoulder. Elizabeth felt her heartbeat increase in her chest and it was foreign feeling to her because she never felt like that towards anybody. However, she pushed it aside and focused on the road when she realized that they ended up at the beach. The moment Oscar parked the car, Elizabeth got out and stood in front of the car with a huge smile on her face, turning to Oscar and giving him the sight of her smiling face with the son behind her. It was quite a beautiful sight to the scary leader.

“Why did you take me here?” Elizabeth asked, smile stuck on her face.

“This is the place I go to when I need to think and want to get away from Freeridge. The openness and sounds of the oceans help me think and relax,” Oscar stared at the never ending blue ocean as Elizabeth admired the man from the side.

Elizabeth was surprised by his answer, “so you took me to your secret place?”

Oscar nodded, “I want to show you that I am serious about you and that I want you to be mine. Why do you work so hard? Why do you hustle that much?”

Elizabeth took a pause to contemplate telling him, “my dad was a construction worker so he would be in dangerous areas. One day, he was on ground level doing his job when something happened and he got hit in the head. Ever since then he has been messed up and goes to hospital visits to check on his head. Hospital bills build up and the compensation that he got was used on his bills and appointment he needs to go to so I work to help my mom out with bills and I get some extra money for myself and the future,”

Oscar cleared his throat and moved in front of Elizabeth to hold both of her hands while interlocking their fingers, “I’m here if you need anything, mamita,”

“Gracias, ‘Scar,” Elizabeth had a soft smile on her face, “Let’s take things slow and maybe I’ll be yours,”

The two smiled at each other as they moved to look at the sunset, but it seemed like the two of them were enchanted with the other.

“Tell me about you,” Elizabeth stared at the man next to her, “why did you choose this life? Just tell me everything about you,”

“When I was young, my father was killed and my mother was a drug addict. That left me to take care of Cesar so I did all I could to take care of him. I mean, I had an opportunity to go to this fancy school in Pasadena and I had recommendation letters written from the principal and teachers, but I didn’t want Cesar alone so I gave it up and got jumped in because of ‘destiny’ of the Diaz familia,” Oscar scoffed, “it’s hard. I think about what could have been, but I don’t regret not going because Cesar is here,”

Elizabeth smiled at the love that was so evident in his eyes and tone when he talked about his little brother, “thanks for sharing, ‘scar. I didn’t know you were smart,”

“Pendeja,” Oscar chuckled with Elizabeth while wrapping his arm around her and kissing her head.

@love-me-91393

[seokstyle]

critical condition (m) - 2

pair: hoseok x reader, light jungkook x reader (series) themes: med student!reader, nurse!hoseok, lots of medically-related flirting genre: smut, some fluff, future angst warnings: jealousyyyyy, alcohol, nothing too crazy (yet 👀)

you knew that your first rotation as a medical student was going to have its challenges. you did not anticipate one of those challenges to be dealing with a handsome ER nurse who won’t give you a break.

word count: 4k

part 1 | masterlist

“No, I am not going to call in pretending to be your dad and tell the ER secretary you’re sick.”

“Some friend you are, huh Joon,” you slump back in the cafeteria chair. “You know I would’ve done the same for you. They would’ve bought it if I told them it was food poisoning! AND,” you point your plastic knife at him for emphasis, “I could have given them a differential on what I think caused my symptoms, but no,” you grumble.

“Oh, come on, you know they would never buy it,” Namjoon laughs as you pout. “Weren’t you telling me a few days ago about how things have gotten a little easier?”

“Well... they kinda had, but-”

“No, no buts!” He puts up his hands to stop your protests. “No more selling yourself short! You even got praise from the attending, right?”

You nod hesitantly. Yes, you had told your friend about how the case presentation had gone okay with the tough-to-impress attending earlier, and you definitely had been a little more relaxed on your rotations since that day. Riding the confidence boost from that performance, you had been impressing the resident and attending physicians more and more with each day since.

“See? Besides,” Namjoon continues, “what good would it do to avoid whatever is bothering you? We don’t run from our problems, Y/N. We face them head on!”

You listen quietly to your friend’s lecture, twirling spaghetti around your fork and cursing his tendencies to slip into motivational speaker mode. Unlike you, Namjoon was blissfully unaware of what had transpired that day with Hoseok.

But you were definitely, definitely aware of the last time you saw him. And also aware that the reason you had been so relaxed was that you hadn’t had overlapping shifts scheduled with Hoseok since then.

Until today, that is.

You had no idea what to expect. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize your evaluations; you trusted him enough to know that. But still, a 12 hour shift with Hoseok on your team after that stunt he pulled? It was filled with too many uncertainties for you to stay calm at this moment.

“Hey, are you okay?” You snap out of your thoughts. Namjoon is looking at you, concern etched across his features. “I know I’m messing around, but you have nothing to worry about. I promise.”

You smile. “I’m okay, Joon, I promise.” You extend your pinky out to him, a gesture to show you really meant it. He grins, wrapping his pinky around yours and squeezing. “Now go! You’re gonna be late!”

“Ah, shit,” he curses as he glances at the cafeteria wall clock, springing up from his seat with his dinner tray in hand. “Good luck, you got this!” he calls out to you, as he makes a mad dash back to the pediatric wing. You slump back in your seat with a sigh. Yeah, you’re gonna need all the good luck you can get.

You had continued under Seokjin’s charge for the past few days, and he had been gracious enough to not bring up the elephant in the room of what he had walked into that night. He had texted you last minute this morning to let you know he was off today and you would be under another resident’s charge tonight. You were thanking your lucky stars. After seeing how red his ears turned when he opened the supply closet on you both, you don’t think either you or Jin could have survived a shift with all three of you there at once.

As your luck would have it though, you and Hoseok have arrived at the same time, and before the resident. So now you are both here alone. Together.

He’s standing off to your left, reviewing charts assigned to you both on the mobile computer station. “So, how was your week without me? I hope you didn’t miss me too much,” Hoseok teases. You stiffen in response, avoiding eye contact. Were you supposed to pretend like you hadn’t been caught in a supply closet together in a very implicated position a week ago? Suddenly the floor tiling pattern seems so much more interesting than it did the last time you were in this part of the ER.

Hoseok frowns. “Hey, is everythi-”

“Hi! Are you Y/N?” You startle, turning around to see who is calling you and have to physically stop your jaw from dropping open. Yet another incredibly handsome man in scrubs has appeared in front of you, trying to read your work badge to confirm your identity. Is it a requirement to be unbelievably attractive to work at this hospital?

Oh! This must be the resident Seokjin told you about!

“Yes, that’s me! And you must be Dr. Jeon?”

He laughs. “Please, call me Jungkook! I look forward to working with you,” he smiles and offers his hand. You shake it eagerly, noting the intricate tattoos adorning his arm. You hope you will be half as cool as him when you’re a resident. “Dr. Min had an emergent situation come up in trauma but he told me to handle admissions on our own for now.”

He turns his attention to the person behind you. “Hey man, it’s been a while since we worked shift together. How have you been Hoseok?”

“It’s been all right, it’s good to see you too,” Hoseok greets him, and you chance looking over in his direction. He grins at you and winks, and you feel your cheeks warm. Suddenly the floor pattern is of top interest again. “I think you’re going to enjoy working with Y/N, she always keeps me on my toes.”

Jungkook sent you in on the first case of the day alone. He said that he wanted to see how you perform so that he can better give you tips and pointers on how to improve, and that you can see the rest of patients that day together after he has an idea of what he’s working with. Hoseok is scribing for you, the mobile computer pulled over to the side of the room by the door while you work up your patient.

You list off whatever you’ve covered so far. You know you got HPI, social history, family history, past medical conditions, medications, and review of systems when you were taking the history. You performed the cardiology exam, pulmonary exam, abdominal exam (which you will never forget again), but nothing else seems to come to mind.

Still, you run through your mental list again in your mind to be sure. It was important to you to nail the first patient presentation of the shift. Making a good impression on the new resident was critical, especially seeing how it took days before the last attending had full faith in you again.

You turn to Hoseok out of habit to ask him. Before you can open your mouth, he turns and raises his eyebrows at you, staring back blankly. “Yes?”

You are taken aback, but press onwards. Surely he’ll be professional in front of a patient. “I just wanted to double-check with you if there’s anything you think might be pertinent that I might have overlooked?”

He raises his brow again, then turns back to type away at the computer. “I think you’ve made it clear you’re plenty capable of handling things without my help, don’t you think?”

Though he isn’t facing you anymore, you can hear the smirk in his voice. You turn away from him, annoyed. You were completely on your own for this one. You smile at the patient, who is wincing from pain and probably wants you out of his room as soon as possible. “I think I’ve asked and examined everything I need to at this time, sir! We will be back with the doctor shortly, and I’ll see if we can do something to manage your pain in the meantime.”

The three of you decide to set up shop at a computer station embedded into the emergency department hallways, just outside of the infamous conference room where you last made a fool of yourself in front of the attending and Seokjin. Hoseok is scribing off to the side, waiting for you to dictate your findings. He turns in your direction waiting for you to begin, and you nearly snap your neck trying to avoid eye contact with him.

“Okay, Y/N, ready when you are,” Jungkook says, smiling at you encouragingly.

You take a deep breath. “Our patient is a 55 year old male presenting with epigastric pain that radiates to his back. The pain began earlier this afternoon and was not relieved from taking Tylenol. He rates his pain as a 9 out of 10 in severity, constant and dull in quality, and the pain is relieved only from lying completely still.” Jungkook hums in agreement, scanning the chart while you present. You scan your mind for what else was most relevant from your discussion with the patient. “Social history is significant for alcohol use for the past 35 years, he says he drinks around 2-3 beers every evening. Family history was insignificant. Pertinent positives from review of systems include severe nausea and vomiting accompanying onset of pain earlier today.”

“Okay,” Jungkook muses. “That was a really thorough history, nice work. What about the physical exam?”

“Vitals showed a fever of 101.6°F, tachycardic at 110 BPM, and hypotensive at 110/70. On abdominal exam the patient had decreased bowel sounds and exhibited tenderness and guarding upon palpation of the upper quadrants, especially. Cardiac exam was regular rate and rhythm, no murmurs or rubs, and lungs were clear to auscultation bilaterally.”

Jungkook nods approvingly. “Very good! You’re a natural,” he remarks. “I liked how you organized info, and didn’t just word-dump everything or forget critical components. How long have you been in the ER?”

“This is my second week.”

Jungkook raises his eyebrows. “Only week 2 and you already have your own style and prioritization put together? I’m impressed.” You beam from the approval, not noticing how Hoseok’s usually cheery disposition has been replaced by a sulk as he watches the resident praise your presentation skills.

“So,” Jungkook finishes going over the chart and turns to face you directly. You can’t help but feel a little nervous despite his praise, especially when all of his attention is on you. “What’s your differential?”

“Well,” you start a little nervously, “top of my list is definitely acute pancreatitis, especially since epigastric pain radiating to the back is textbook for that condition, along with heavy alcohol use and nausea & vomiting. But,” you add quickly, remembering how Seokjin advised you to not latch on to one diagnosis when examining a patient, “it could also be… acute peritonitis! Or a neoplasm!”

Jungkook laughs. “I appreciate you offering multiple differentials, that’s always good to get in the habit of thinking that way. Though it sounds to me like your original was pretty spot-on.” You smile again and Hoseok mopes a little more as he types away at the computer.

“Actually, do you want to know a tip on how to confirm acute pancreatitis while you’re still doing the exam?” “Of course! That would be great, if you don’t mind,” you answer excitedly.

He grins in response, getting up from his stool and motioning for you to sit down in his place. You do so, a little confused, and he comes around to stand beside you. You realize that he’s going to show you how to do the trick on you. Oh. “All you have to do is sit the patient upright like this,” he places his hands on your shoulders, “and bend them forward like this,” he gently pushes you over until you’re hunched over at a 45° angle. “The pain should be so much better because the pancreas won’t be stretched out as much!”

You know it’s strictly clinical, but you can’t help but blush at the close proximity and the feel of his hands on you. Right at that moment, you happen to look up and meet eyes with Hoseok. He turns away abruptly and you barely see it but his expression... was that… jealousy?

“See? It’s super easy!” He pulls you back up to a normal sitting position. “Sometimes those patients will even be in a fetal position because it does the same trick while they’re laying down. Neat, huh?” You nod eagerly. “Now go check in on your patient and see if that maneuver helps confirm your diagnosis or not.”

“Thank you so much, that’s so helpful! You’re the best, Jungkook, what would I do without you?” you gush, touching his arm lightly as you get up to leave. Maybe you’re overdoing it a little, acting too exaggeratedly. But it’s worth it to see Hoseok’s jaw set in annoyance as he keeps typing away at the computer.

Jungkook is taken aback slightly, but smiles and nods in response. “Of course, it’s no problem! Now let’s go check on your patient together and see what a good assessment and plan would be for him.”

The rest of the shift flys by, to your surprise, and before you know it’s already time to clock out. You’re finishing up the last of your notes at one of the computer stations when you see Jungkook approaching. Usually Jin says his goodbyes and leaves you for the last hour so he can finish up loose ends. Was he coming over because you messed up something? Did you forget the write-up for room 4? Or sign off on room 8’s chart incorrectly? Or bring someone apple juice instead of orange?

“Hey,” he interrupts your panicked mental checklist, “I wanted to say thank you for making my shift a little bit easier and a little bit more fun,” he says, smiling warmly. “Some of the other staff were talking about going out for drinks later if you wanted to join?”

You’re a little dumbfounded from the offer. The cool resident wanted to hang out with you? You must be taking too long to reply, because Jungkook starts offering more details unprompted. “No pressure of course,” he adds. “The other residents were inviting some students so I thought I’d ask, not to overstep any boundaries or anything,” he continues a little nervously, “and I had asked a few of the other nurses like Hoseok to come too -”

Hoseok was going?

“But seriously you don’t have t-”

“I’d love to come! It’s so sweet of you to invite me,” you respond suddenly, taking both of you by surprise. “I’ll uh, get your number from Seokjin, let me know what time and where. I look forward to it!” You swipe your badge and log out, done with your notes, leaving Jungkook behind in his confusion.

Jungkook had texted you the location and meet-up details right as you were leaving your house, having taken a quick nap and freshened up after your shift before heading out again for the night. As you enter, you spot Jungkook sitting in a booth with a few of the other ER staff. You spot some other familiar faces, like the two radiology techs always glued at the hip, and of course Hoseok. You involuntarily suck in your breath. His crisp, white button-down under a leather jacket paired with ripped black jeans is so simple, yet still puts his scrubs to shame. He looks up from his conversation with one of the radiology techs (was that one Jimin, or was it Taehyung, you can’t remember), as if he felt you staring, but Jungkook gets up before either of you can react.  

“Hey! You made it, Y/N,” he greets you excitedly. “Here, let’s sit over at the bar for a bit.” Not with everyone else? Not with Hoseok? “Thank you so much for coming, it’s good to see you.” He pulls the barstool back and gestures for you to sit down, in very chivalrous fashion.

“No, thank you! I forgot I haven’t been to this bar since before board exams, and I missed it so much,” you sigh. Many drunken birthday and post-exam celebrations were made here during your first two years of medical school. “I think I deserve a drink for what this rotation has put me through already,” you tease.

He laughs in response. “I think that’s only fair. What would you like?”

Wait he’s actually buying you a drink? You were just joking! “Oh no,” you protest, “that’s okay! You don’t have to do that!”

He laughs again sweetly. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to! Think of it as my treat for the fun I had thanks to you today.” He gets the bartender’s attention. “This place has the best green tea shots, would that be okay with you?”

You nod your consent a little tentatively, and Jungkook proceeds with his order. The last time you had green tea shots here was after your gross anatomy final. To this day, neither you nor Namjoon can remember what happened that night. You do know that you woke up with a tray of fries in your bed the next morning, so it must have been a good time either way.

“All right, here you are!” Jungkook passes you your shot glass. “To a great shift, and many more together!” He lifts the drink in cheers, clinking glasses with you.

Right as you are about to tip the drink back, you make eye contact with Hoseok over Jungkook’s shoulder. His eyes are steely and he looks like he is fuming inside. If Hoseok was jealous of you getting clinical skill tips from Jungkook, you can only imagine how riled up he must be from seeing him buy you a drink. You shouldn’t be excited, but you can’t help but feel a thrill run down your back by seeing him react like this.

You tip the drink down your throat, keeping your eyes locked with Hoseok the entire time. The burn from the alcohol feels good and the shot is sweet, but seeing his jaw clench in anger is even more delicious. Last time he got to be so bold with you, it was only fair for you to reciprocate, wasn’t it? “Here, Jungkook,” you turn to the resident, “how about another round? This one’s on me.”

Hoseok has had it.

It’s already been hard enough faking paying attention to whatever Jimin and Taehyung have been going on and on in some passionate discussion all night before you made your entrance. Something about a video game about animals? That cross over horizons? He couldn’t guess if he tried. But ever since you had arrived, he couldn’t stop glancing over to your and Jungkook’s silhouettes every few moments.

It also didn’t help that you had shared round after round of shots with Jungkook. Giggling away at whatever jokes he had been making, resting your hand on his bicep, fluttering your lashes at him. And still had the audacity to look over at Hoseok and bite your lip every once in a while. He was infuriated. You had been too meek and timid to talk normally when you were at work, to the point that he was worried he had upset you or made you uncomfortable. He didn’t even get a chance to check in with you and clear things up. But you suddenly had the nerve to send him suggestive stares while another man was buying you drinks?

He needed to clear his head.

He gets up and excuses himself for the restroom, leaving Jimin and Taehyung alone to fervently argue over the turnip economy crashing and Tom Nook’s capitalist ways. He enters the single stall bathroom, turning the faucet on to splash his face with cold water. He looks at his reflection in the mirror. Get a grip, dude, he thinks to himself. He would have to get your attention later, when you were sober, and finally talk things out. Maybe the next time you were on shift you would let him. He just had to prepare himself to get through whatever show you were trying to put on tonight.

He grabs the handle, takes a deep breath in, and turns it to come face to face with you, letting out a little “oh!” sound of surprise. He takes in your doe-eyed appearance and stops dead in his tracks.

He had thought you were pretty when you were running on 6 hours of sleep (on a good day) in your ratty hospital scrubs, hair tied up and errant loose strands strewn about your face, coffee in hand as you ran from end to end of the emergency department. But this blew that out of the water. The red jumpsuit you had picked had a tasteful level of cleavage, just the right mix of sexy but still classy enough to wear in front of professional colleagues. That combined with a red-stain pout, long lashes, and your black peep toe heels, he feels a little bit breathless as he drinks you in.

Actively ignoring how his heart skips a beat, he stops checking you out and instead steels himself to question you on why you are a) unwilling to talk to him, yet b) trying to eye fuck him AND the resident at the same time, and c) following him into the bathroom.

“What,” he starts firmly, “are you trying t-”

“I’m sorry!”

He’s startled from your sudden outburst. “What?”

“I just wanted to say I’m really really really sorry for lying about and saying that you were the one who messed things up when it was really me who messed things up,” you ramble. “And I made you look bad and you’re not bad, you’re always good to everyone! You’re always good to me!”

Hoseok can’t help but to chuckle, confusion coloring his laugh. “What are you talking about?”

You sway on your feet and stumble a bit forward towards him. He catches you, restoring your balance and holding you steady by the shoulders gently. It is very apparent that you are drunk, likely the drunkest you have been in a long time, but you don’t let that deter you. “The really bad day! Where I messed up the physical exam and said it was your fault!”

Oh. He is taken aback; he had no idea that you were carrying around so much guilt over this. Was that why you had been avoiding talking to him at the hospital? “Well,” he begins, “would it make you feel better to know that your apology is accepted?” You contemplate his words, humming to yourself, then nod. He smiles. “Okay good, because I really don’t mind that much. I didn’t know you were that upset about it though,” he adds.

“Well, I have been,” you huff. He bites his lip to keep a laugh from escaping. “That’s what I’ve been wanting to tell you for foreverrrrrrr but I didn’t get a chance!” You close your eyes, buzzing with contentment, a weight lifted off of your chest. He smiles for a split second at your reaction, until you suddenly open them again to eye him suspiciously. “Hey, wait a minute,” you exclaim, gears turning in your mind. “I didn’t get a chance because someone,” you poke him in the chest with your finger to emphasize your point, “decided to force me into a closet,” you poke him again, “and make me all hot and bothered instead of listening! So really,” another jab to the chest, “it’s your fault that I’m feeling guilty!”

“Hey, easy now!” Hoseok grabs your finger before you can poke him again. You pout at him, trying to free yourself from his grasp to no avail. It makes his heart melt, just a little. He pulls you in closer with the finger he’s holding, smirking at your surprised expression.  “If I remember correctly…,” he leans in to whisper in your ear, hearing your breath hitch, “I don’t think you had many complaints, did you?”

a/n: long time, no see, i know! i got caught up with school and studying this year but quarantine has my creative juices flowing again, so i’m planning on finishing this series soon (fingers crossed!!). thank you so much for reading,  i hope you enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed writing it!! <3 

[drawlfoy]

Mirror, Mirror P.3

masterlist request guidelines requests are open! just please be sure to read my guidelines before sending one in :)

pairing: draco x femravenclaw!reader

request: the original idea is all mine, but p.3 has been requested

summary: while on their prefect rounds, y/n runs into both an issue and a mirror that she knows nothing about (but her partner certainly does).

warnings: foul language, light physical violence. i hesitated to write the slap since i don’t believe that anyone should ever hit someone. especially in a romantic relationship. but also this is magic and fictional and this draco is getting on my damned nerves

a/n: fr i’m so flattered that you all wanted a third part, i really am, but oh my GOD this particular draco is being such an intolerable dickwad and not cooperating with anything that i want him to do. thank you for your patience

music recs: i listened to the hp soundtrack while writing this so that’s pretty meta

word count: 1,239

tags! tags! @accio-rogers @geeksareunique

Y/N huffed as she stamped off to find Professor Flitwick, her hair falling loose from her bun as the sharp movements jerked it out of place.

That git that git that git that git that git....

How had he known? Y/N was secretive and so were her friends...as far as she was aware of. Perhaps she had fallen asleep in Potions that day and uttered her undying love for her fantasy Malfoy, but while the Slytherins were cunning and sly, there was no way they all wouldn’t have laughed at her. And she wasn’t even tired, thanks to the Wide-Eye she was permitted to take after her 10-12 shifts. 

She was pondering the thought as she neared the end of an unfamiliar hallway, suddenly struck with the realization that while she was deep in concentration, she had missed the turn to Flitwick’s office. The end of the corridor was oddly familiar, though, and when she turned to the left, she knew why.

The mirror she had seen with Draco was right in front of her. If she squinted in the dark, she could make out the letters ERISED on the top, something she committed to memory for her next library visit. But before she could spend too much on her many tricks to memorize a word, a movement in the mirror distracted her.

“Aah! Malfoy!” 

He had appeared next to her, gazing into the mirror with a teasing expression on his face. A smirk formed as he closed the distance, resting his chin on top of her head and shutting his eyes contently. 

The only problem with the picture was that when Y/N looked to her side, Malfoy was nowhere to be seen. He only existed in the mirror, and it appeared as though her reflection wasn’t a perfect copy as well when she looked closer. Y/N was donning formal ministry robes that only high ranking members of the Ministry wore...the very career path she wanted to follow. She laughed, lacing her fingers through Malfoy’s and squeezing.

Y/N watched, speechless, as the pieces all began to fall into place. Just like the many riddles she had had to solve in the past to enter her common room, the confusion slowly drifted away until she was left, staring right at the answer.

Erised was simply the word Desire reflected. She desired a high ranking career in the Ministry and Draco Malfoy. That was no secret, at least not to her.

But Malfoy knew now. She had confessed to seeing their reflection in the mirror when she was holding onto his sleeve to make him stop. While she thought the claim of it being a regular old mirror innocent enough, she had been dead wrong. And, somehow, he had known what the mirror was.

Now she had to find Professor Flitwick.

<>

“That’s kind of funny,” Rena admitted, dicing her beetroot with practiced precision. “But mortifying. What are you gonna do?” 

Y/N sighed, adding her own ingredients to the shared cauldron between them. “I don’t know. I talked to Flitwick, but he refuses to switch us. Something about house unity and maturity. I would push harder, but I want him to choose me as a prefect next year too, so I’ve just got to roll with the punches.”

“So how are you going to act around him? Are you gonna be the same or come clean?”

“Well, he knows now,” Y/N mused. “But I was thinking that instead, I could tell him that he was getting his knickers in a twist about nothing because I went back there and just saw my simple reflection.”

“That’s evil, and you know it.”

“You say that as if he’s not evil.”

“Fair, fair.”

The two worked in silence, finishing up the extra credit assignment in the cold dungeon air. Y/N shivered as she began cleaning up the ingredients and noticed that Rena was yawning profusely.

“Rena, you don’t need to stay. I know you stayed up late studying last night. I’ll take care of it, you hurry up to our dorm and I’ll be there soon with some tea.”

Rena smiled. “You sure? You don’t look too well-rested yourself.”

“Absolutely. You forget that I fell asleep watching you lean over your desk last night. You deserve to sleep a little more.”

“Okay. Love you, Y/N!”

“Love you too.”

Rena skipped off, suddenly revived. Y/N rolled her eyes but smiled after her, gathering up the rest of the ingredients and washing the cauldron.

While she knew that she had done the right thing sending Rena back to their room, she couldn’t help but wish that she hadn’t. The dungeons were creepy at all times of the day, but especially so if it was 11pm and you were alone. Y/N thought that she had heard some suspicious sounds from the corridor but brushed off the notion. 

No one’s down here except for the Slytherins, and they’re all holed up in their swanky common room. 

Ah, yes, the Slytherins. Y/N cringed at the thought. She was in Malfoy’s territory, something she wasn’t too pleased about. The most disobedient part of her mind wanted to catch a glimpse of Malfoy in his natural habitat, but she knew that that was a bad idea.

Before she knew it, her station was completely clear and it was time for her to depart into the dark and freezing corridor. Gross. She didn’t understand how Rena had managed to look so cheery skipping into a corridor that probably had its own budding rat civilization. 

She shut the door quietly behind her, hissing as a water droplet fell on top of her head. The chill as it slipped down her neck caused her to yelp, jumping nearly a foot in the air. In her surprise, she almost didn’t hear the amused snort from the shadows somewhere to her left. 

“Who’s there?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Shit. She could recognize that drawl anywhere. 

Draco Malfoy stepped into the dim lighting by the torch, wearing his signature silk suit. Does he ever take that off? His hair was annoyingly nice looking considering how late it was, and its silver glow, brought out by the torchlight, made her knees weak.

He cocked his head expectantly, waiting for her scathing comeback. She just stared, her eyes wide and dilated from the dark. What could she say to him? 

“I went back to the mirror after our rounds.” The words just tumbled out of her mouth, quick and shaky. 

“And?” His mouth quirked and his eyes sparkled.

“And I don’t know why you’re so enchanted by it. I just saw my reflection again.”

He frowned, but she could still see a shadow of amusement dance across his features. “Really, now?”

Y/N was frozen in place, but she so desperately wanted to run away from the situation. “Er...yeah?” 

Before another word could come out of his very well-shaped mouth, the frozen spell over her had broken and she was already speeding halfway down the hall.

“Hey! I wasn’t done talking to you!” 

Refusing to look back, she turned to the stairs and began jogging up them, praying that he couldn’t hear her feet on the stone as she was literally running away from him. 

This was so, so embarrassing. Ravenclaws didn’t run, they remained and outsmarted their opponents with their wit and wisdom. But, for some reason, when it came to Draco Malfoy, all of that went away. 

final a/n: so the wait for this one was long and it didn’t even turn out that cool, but i want a lot more time to actually construct the next meeting of them during their rounds, and that should be out soon. i’m sorry for making this one so short!! i’m thinking there will be either 1 long part or 2 more short parts before the end of this is reached. thanks for reading!

[she-has-tc-tea]

A much needed coffee break… oh yeah, and a hug 😍 11.28.18

~ You can totally skip to the last section if you want to real ☕️ for today, otherwise here’s my thoughts that lead up to it. ~

So Luke has some very clear opinions of our current president and he said the goddamn funniest thing in class today (while quoting twitter) and I’m deceased. he invented a new word because he couldn’t form the sentence “someone in denial” he just said “a denial-er” in reference to our meme lord president trump

Ok back to the coffee update - Basically today we get down to business as usual. For a few minutes at first there was another professor in there talking to Luke, but Luke looked so tired and he was resting his head in his hands for like the entire conversation meaning I just got to look at his pretty brown eyes for like five minutes 😍 so Luke is such an unbelievably gentle and sweet person that he would never say “I’m bored go away” but I swear that’s all he wanted to say to this person. Finally they finish their conversation and he immediately asks “did you have as much fun listening to that as I did?” and I just smiled and shook my head which made him laugh.

So it totally took me a few minutes but I finally got the courage to ask if he would be okay with me bringing him coffee everyday, and he said yes! But, he said he’d have to start paying for some eventually but I just said he should at least let me get some for the rest of the term (which is only a few more days) then we can talk about who pays when.

So, the big part of today is that I brought up my class I am totally failing and what I thought of it all, and he just sat back in his chair and listened to me vent for honestly a full ten minutes, which I’ll repeat here cause also this is a good a place as any (plus his response was so encouraging so you should probably know my emotions that went into this) if you want to skip my complaining I’ll bold text when I get back to what happened with Luke, who is so patient he just sat there while I went off about this stupid class :(

So I ain’t about to spoil which class this was for because my college only offers one module and you’d probably figure it out in like a single google search, but basically my biggest problems are the homework and how tests are graded.

Homework is done online (which I’m already not a fan of) but I’m like ok it’s not that bad. BUT the instructors didn’t fucking know how to properly set up due dates and there was no regular schedule, it was just due x days after we finished covering that chapter in class. I’m especially mad because I would never run a class like that, plus they missed a golden opportunity to spread out 8 chapters over 8 weeks of the course… instead it was like 3 days for one chapter and 5 for the next, then back to four etc… so that already irked me into oblivion. Plus, homework is only available for a few days and there’s no partial credit if you’re late, you wither get the points or none at all which is gross

Here’s the best part, there are less than 10 quizzes in the entire class, and no make-ups whatSOEVER even if you’re dying like I was a few weeks ago cause I got the flu. So what’s the big deal? The quizzes are worth more than the final AND one of the midterms COMBINED. Meaning - you missed one quiz? there goes your A. Missed one homework assignment? there goes your B. and finally, didn’t get over 85% on the midterms? there goes your C. And that’s how we ended up here 🙃

So I tell Luke all of this and since he knows I have BIpolar disorder he knows how hard I’ve been trying to balance all of my classes and this one was simply the one that got hit the hardest (I have A’s in literally all of my other classes including his) so he just said that he was very proud of what I’ve done this term and that I shouldn’t worry about that one class, it’s not even in my major (but still means I’ll have to retake it next year or whatever) So hearing him say that helped my anxiety out a LOT, but I still just felt like overall crap even though we were hanging out which normally makes me feel all better, if just for a while.

ok here’s the best part *sirens blaring* SHIT WENT DOWN

Today I once again had to run off to office hours (for the class I’m failing lol I have to talk to the teacher about taking a pass/no pass grade) so I finished my complaining and got all my shit together and right before I can put my backpack over my shoulders, Luke stands up and says “Hey, hey, come here.” in his nicest voice ever and it just clicked in my head what he was gonna do. I’m definitely sure he saw me shaking from anxiety over the whole conversation, so he comes over and leans down a bit (he’s a bit taller than me) and let me wrap my arms around his shoulders and give him a big hug (which I needed sooooo badly) and he literally held me until I stopped shaking (which was definitely at least 10 seconds but you know how time moves funky when you’re really emotional) so finally he says, “all better? for now?” while still close to me and omg I could feel his deep voice in his chest and ugh literally that sent me flying straight to heaven, all I could say was a super quiet “yeah. for now.” so he lets me go and we both step back and I could literally see in his face that he also looked a lot… lighter? like a hug definitely made us both feel better. So, I guess I got caught staring at him and he said “you still have somewhere to go, don’t you?” while waving out the door and grinning like an idiot so I scurried along and just as I leave I can’t help but say “Hey, thanks” and he just gave me his sweet smile and so yeah I left flying fucking MILES above this shit that’s been bothering me.

As a bonus: Luke met Gordon Ramsay once and he likes to rub it in my face so last night he sent me this and honestly he gets me so well I can’t even (Dark Souls is one of the few games I play)

[canaryatlaw]

alright, let’s get going with this. Today was fine, not particularly exciting, but it was my last day of classes, potentially for the rest of my life, so that’s something at least. I woke up to my alarm at 11:10, ten minutes earlier than usual because I wanted to do my make up and look nice for my last day. Got ready, walked to the train, and took it down to school. Dumped stuff in the PAD office then went up to class. It was all review, so we went over some topics and example questions, and how to best answer them. I’m not particularly worried about this final because it’s in a class I do actually have interest in and paid more attention to than my other classes, plus it’s open book/notes, and I’m just generally good at answering essay questions on tests, I just get going and I’ll just keep writing and writing. And I did really well on the midterm for this class (it was when the prof was like “I graded it out of 8, most everyone got 6′s, but if you said something really brilliant and mind blowing you might have gotten a 7″ and of course when I opened my envelope the assignment was in there was a big 7 on the top, so that was encouraging) so I’m feeling pretty good about this one. After class I went back to the PAD office and decided to focus on Remedies for a bit since I had my last class for that tonight. It’s not in the bar review books, but I was able to get a pretty solid outline from the PAD outline bank, it was from a class with another professor, but honestly it’s just the basic concepts it’s really not gonna differ that much. It was set up in a format so that I could largely copy and paste from it onto my flashcards, so that helped on time. But yeah, I worked on it from like 2:30 to 5, and I got through 14 pages of the outline (out of 24 total) and 156 flashcards done, so that was good. I grabbed a slice of pizza from the little market place that just moved in next to the school because I wasn’t feeling a salad today, lol. Went to Remedies, it was a pretty good class period, we did finish up on some stuff then went to review. There was a really funny moment when the prof was talking about what the test would consist of and he accidentally said “33 essay questions” instead of 33 multiple choice questions” and we pretty much all died of laughter. I also raised my hand at one point, because I mean, I knew the answer so why not, and I probably haven’t raised my hand in that class in like, 6 weeks (it was hard to pay attention during the LOT season because I’d end up glued to twitter for the hour), and the prof like, flipped out and was so happy I raised my hand lol it was sweet, and he was like “you know, I like you” which is always nice to hear. That’s gonna be my one closed book final, which is fine, I think I can get enough of that info in my brain to be able to regurgitate it onto a final. it’s also nice that my final dates are in the same order of my confidence in classes, so my easiest one is first, then the middle, then the hardest, giving me more time to study for them, so that worked out well. We got out around 7:30 (an hour early) and I was home by 8:30. Decided I’d watch Supergirl, and I don’t think it was too bad really, the Kara/Mon-El stuff was mostly cringey (but what else is new) though at least she got to tell him off at one point, that was immensely satisfying to hear that she does at least know just how much of an asshole he had been. All the J’onn/Myr’nn (they keep changing the location of the hyphen in his name, from like M’yrnn to My’rnn to Myr’nn and its quite annoying) was sad of course, so that was kinda rough to watch. The Sam and Lena stuff I thought was pretty good though, there’s definitely something distinctly Luthor about keeping someone in a secret medical facility until you can find out what’s going on with them, and I mean I’m sure Lena did it with the best of intentions, but it’s something that I can totally see Lex doing too, maybe under different circumstances but still. Seeing Lena push Sam until she broke was hard, as was Sam’s meltdown afterwards, all of which was sooooo reminiscent of season 8 of Smallville with the Davis/Doomsday situation, with Lena now being in the place of Chloe trying to stop this from happening, even though it’s probably out of their control. Listening to Sam call Ruby and have to tell her she can’t visit her was rough though, honestly I’m at the point where Sam and Ruby are the only characters I even care about (I mean, maybe Lena sometimes, mostly because she can give me Tess Mercer vibes and I love Tess oh so much) because they’ve made most of the other characters either just not having a plot or making them super obnoxious. I still love Winn, but he really hasn’t had much to do this season. but yeah, overall not bad, so I’ll take it. After I finished that The Resident had finished recording, so I moved over to that. Man, what an episode. The pacing was very good, intermingling the hospital drama with the patient anecdotes with Dev in the ER. Things are obviously escalating very quickly in terms of going from “this doctor is giving too much chemo to patients” to “this doctor straight up murdered her patient to keep her quiet” quite quickly, but I mean that’s basically what happened so I guess we’ll have to deal with that now, though idk how they’re gonna go forward from here with Nic out of her job and Bell now the CEO. I found the fire storyline slightly amusing because afterwards they were like “what happened?” “the patient caught fire” like that’s something that happens all the time 😂 this show continues to make me extremely nervous about going into surgery for anything ever; when I was in the ER over spring break they were like “oh this surgeon is great, he has a lot of experience and is well regarded” and he walked in and had gray hair and I was like FUCK I’M GOING TO DIE 😂😂 but thankfully I was able to avoid getting cut open so I lived to see another day 😂. After the episode I watched the news for a few while I finished up a few things (mainly finishing scrolling through the tumblrs I check every day) then started getting ready for bed, and now I’m here. DV clinic tomorrow for my last shift for the time being, depending on what I end up doing over the next few months I might be able to pick up some shifts over the summer, but I know I do need to focus on bar prep, with the rule of thumb being 8 hours of studying a day for 6 weeks (literally a full time job) if you want to pass. So we’ll see how that plays out. and yeah, not a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be good, and then I’ll probably be in finals study mood for the next few weeks, when my finals start on May 2nd and go to May 9th, then I’ll be graduating on the 13th. It’s so close, but it feels so far away right now because it’s on the other side of 3 massive tests I have to pass to get there. It is so close though, and soon enough it will be here, just gotta get through these last few hurdles. Alright, I’m done talking for the night (on this blog at least, I’ll probably make a post on my personal after this). Goodnight dearies. Love you lots.

[assholemurphy]

so, i’m dying.

lol, not rly. except, yeah, kinda.

my gallbladder has finally fucked itself into a coma and only wakes up to force me to projectile vomit myself into oblivion whenever i consume solids. and on occasions, liquids, if it’s rly cranky. that’s my life now.

i have managed to eat 2 hot pockets, some chips, abt 8 jalepeno poppers, and three eggrolls (and keep them down) in the past 2 weeks. all that i’ve been able to keep down has happened in the past 24hrs. i’m not sure how i managed it, tbh, but it wasn’t without a fight. other than that, i have not digested anything but liquids in the past 2 weeks. i cannot think straight, i can barely form words in my head, let alone say them out loud. this is not fun and i don’t like it. it was one thing to choose not to eat (tho, rly, with an ed, it wasn’t exactly a choice, ya feel?) and to choose to purge, but now that i have no choice at all, i’m so fucking pissed off. like, part of me is happy bc i’ve lost 5lbs already, even with being bloated from constant puking, but like, more of me just wants to survive so i can work on my goddamn finals. which are all due this week. and none of them are done. (except the one that was due last week, managed to do that one, luckily).

pretty boy took me to the er on sun night bc i can’t keep anything down and it’s only gotten worse since they released me. we got there right as the docs were changing shifts, so the first doc was rly narcissistic and full of himself and the second he heard me say ‘i’ve got atypical anorexia b/p subtype’ he was like, ‘ah, yes, it’s all in your head, this is your fault’ which even made pb annoyed bc he apparently can tell the difference between what’s currently going on and my (his words, not mine) ‘crash diets’. but he was p sure the doc didn’t like me bc i called my primary doc (who was supposed to get me scheduled for an ultrasound to get this taken care of almost 2 months ago but didn’t bc he didn’t believe me when i said (having opinions from 2 previous docs) i had gallbladder issues, so he ignored it) an idiot for, ya know, ignoring me when i told him something was wrong. but docs are assholes, they don’t like it when you’re right abt something they can’t see themselves. so i’m switching primary docs asap. this guy’s a fucking joke.

(it’s also been almost three weeks since the pharmacy faxed him paperwork abt the insurance company not wanting to pay for my adderall prescript bc i take 3 pills a day and they only wanna pay for 90 in 75 days (yeah, not even 2 pills a day, like this shit doesn’t work for five hours max). he still hasn’t filled it out. it’s fucking finals week and i’ve got maybe 6 pills left. how fucking grand. so that’s gotta be sorted at the same time he gets me a surgeon’s appt.)

so the guy had me pee in a cup and gave me fluids/anti nausea meds (which were nice, helped me keep down a bit of food sun night). then he basically told me ‘it’s just cyclic vomiting, you’ve just got to break the cycle’ but he was leaving so he was going to let the next guy discharge me. thank fucking god, bc otherwise, i’d probably be dead in a couple weeks.

so this next guy is eccentric af, this whole hospital is a circus, it’s fucking great (no sarcasm, i love quirky ppl). he checks out my cup of pee and orders some blood tests (that the other guy didn’t even care to do), then he comes in and talks to me and he’s fucking great, a+ doctoring, love this guy, sadly, he doesn’t have a private practice, but apparently the nurses get asked if he does all the time. how do i know? my mother asked, bc she liked him. i trusted him. i trust no docs, ever. but this one is good. he says there’s def something wrong, def not just my ed, and orders me an ultrasound for the next morning. good, great, getting this show on the road. he understands my concerns abt my primary doc and offers to explain the results of the ultrasound to my mother via phone mon night. so she calls, he tells her i’ve got ‘sludge and wall thickening’ which are Bad(tm) esp in combination with me not being able to eat anything for over a week and a half.

so, now i’ve got to talk to a surgeon and get my gallbladder removed. as i fucking figured i’d need months ago (during the summer, with my pain and stuff). now this vomiting thing has been happening at least once a semester for abt 2 years now. no one has known what is wrong. ‘it’s acid reflux, take these pills’ ‘these pills don’t work’ ‘welp, idk ^.^’ and so forth for 2. fucking. years. now i’ve got confirmation that my gallbladder is bad. like ‘could explode and kill me’ bad. this is great, i can finally get something done abt this.

except.

except it’s finals week and no only am i running v low on adderall (i just took a pill for the first time since fri morning just a few hours ago) and i’m now fatigued and unable to eat with 4 projects left to do. all of which require a fuckton of concentration. concentration i just don’t have even with the adderall bc i haven’t actually eaten much food lately and can’t fucking think at all. like, every time i eat, it comes right back up.

so, i’ve been sleeping a lot. great, right? except for ya know, all the work i’ve got? nope. i can’t sleep for longer than 4 hours without having night terrors. like BAD ones. i’d tell you abt the one i had when i slept last (from 5:30p to 8:30p) but it would require a whole host of trigger warnings just to give a summary. but it fucked me up badly. and they’ve been getting progressively worse. i dreamed my dog died. i dreamed my apartment was possessed and the demon was trying to kill me. i’ve dreamed of animal abuse and murder and even worse things that leave me fucking shaking when i wake up. but i’m so tired that i keep falling asleep anyway, no matter how scared i am. and i stay asleep, until my alarm goes off, then i shut it off and fall asleep again (into a different night terror). there is no stopping this. my body is dying and it’s telling my brain i’m in danger so my brain is trying to scare me. it’s working. i’m well aware i’m in danger but there’s nothing i can do until my mom sets up a surgeon’s appt for me. i’ve got to remind her to do that tomorrow. i’d do it myself, but i’m far to fucking out of it currently to talk to a medical professional in any capacity.

but throughout all of this, i’m falling further and further behind on my final projects. i’ve got a 10min play analysis due tomorrow at 10:30a (which i’ve got to work on tonight). then i’ve got to finish my stagecraft project (which requires that i go to the shop 3 more times so i’ve got to do that at like 11a tomorrow, then 12p thurs, then like 7p thurs, but i’ve got to find a shop employee to go with me, apparently, and i’d take goldilocks, but she obvs doesn’t want to do it, so i might ask pb or mary, if i have to). then i’ve got to do my monologue assignments for acting i (i’ve got one almost fully memorized, i just need to refresh, but i’ve got to memorize another one, read the play it’s from (i’ve got to buy the ebook), and do an analysis over it before thurs at 10:30a). then my intro to theatre final is due last, but it’s p big and i’ve got to do a lot for it. like 7pg paper plus a ‘previous action’ script (i’ve got to write up a script showing what happened before the play itself starts). i’ve got a SHITTON of work to do and only 9 hours for the sa final, then 24 hrs for the acting i final, then 26 hrs for the itt final, and somehow i’ve got to find at least 3 hours for my sc final. all while trying to get sleep and not eating anything.

plus i’ve still got to do some loan stuff with finaid this week.

i emailed my profs telling them what’s going on, but they’re not going to accept any late finals, so idk why i bothered. (i haven’t heard back bc i just emailed them like, an hour ago and it’s 1a). i CANNOT fuck up this semester bc i won’t get finaid anymore if i do and i can’t drop out. so like, i’ve got to get everything together, but i’m just so fucking sick and everything is overwhelming. i’m going to do my damnedest to get everything done, but idk if i’ll be able to. i rly don’t know.

i’m so fucking stressed over this shit, which is only making my gallbladder issues worse, so it’s a losing battle all around and i’m drowning. honestly, if i had the money, i’d pay for someone to do this for me, but i can’t and i wouldn’t anyway bc like, i’m not putting my name on anything i didn’t do myself out of some bullshit pride thing i’ve got going on. my pride’s gonna get me killed one day, i just know it.

but, tonight, i’m gonna work on my script analysis final and pray to god i can get it done in time. i’ve got like 2 hours left on my adderall, maybe 3 if i push it. i need to make a plan of attack for everything and get to work.

i’m not going to fail this semester if it fucking kills me. and it actually might.