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aromanticautiesworld · 1 year ago

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MARTINER PLS IM BEGGING FOR ANYTHING FERN X READER 😓

Specifically a gn!musician reader who's chill and easy going, (sort of balances fern out/similar to marshall lee) who teases fern sometimes and becomes friends with fern, fern develops a crush on them and gets jealousy of the friendship between finn and the reader and finally gets the guts to confess.

ADD ANYTHING TO THE PROMPT BC YOURE A GREAT WRITER <333

AHGJH THANK U!! i LOVE this req btw im gonna incorporate it into my belief system

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fern with a musician gn!reader (art by mee!)

word count: 1789

The first time, he met you through Finn.

One lousy sunday evening Finn invited you over (he will often invite people over to the treehouse with no warning), the sky was halfway dark, and you looked like you walked all the way here.

You wore a large case on your back, hair tied up and a pencil slid behind your ear. Slung across your shoulder was a duffel bag which he would soon discover was full of paper (paper is weird to think about. It used to be trees, and he’s kinda related to trees now. It’s not cannibalism yet, but it’s close. Corpse desecration, maybe. He doesn’t feel that strongly about it anyways, nor does he feel very close to the trees, even if he technically is) with scrawled half-written lyrics all over them.

“Anyone home?” You half-yell from the bottom of the treehouse. Finn was out on the deck, doing who-the-hecking-gob-knows-what with Jake.

Fern sits perched from his up hiding spot (you could only see his glowing eyes, if you were looking up). He slithers down the ladder, remaining unseen (he doesn’t want to be. They’re a new person. New people are scary), tail flicking.

When you notice him, you quickly turn around. “Hey,” You squint. “Finn?”

There is a pause as he is torn between opting out of this conversation entirely and actually talking. “Fern, actually.”

“Oh. Cool name,”

“I picked it.”

“My parents gave me mine, but I’m considering changing it.”

“Why would you wanna change your name?”

You shrug, “I like to live my life on the edge. Me n’ your roommate got a jam sesh happening right now, you should join,”

There’s a beat of silence. “…I don’t think I’m invited. Grass boys can’t play the flute. Grass boys can’t even breathe.” Fern crosses his arms and looks down, frowning.

Worry flickers over your eyes, if you blink you’ll miss it. “Hmm…” You look to the side, in thought. “Well, now you are. ‘Grass boy’.” You smile ever so slightly when using the nickname he’s given for himself.

“Hey! Only I get to call myself that!”

“Sure, grass boy. C’mon, he’s probably out on the deck,” You walk to the ladder, gesturing for him to follow.

And, for no reason he can think of, he follows you. It’s like he wants to be around you, which is weird. He usually stops himself from being around people, they either treat him like he is Finn or like he’s the opposite. He’s not either, though.

He picks off a flower from his shoulder. Where did that come from?

The fourth time, you had a BFF sleepover. Fern had crawled onto the outside of the tree, to both not intrude and not do something wrong (it was the worst thing when Jake looked at him like that. He doesn’t want you to look at him like that too). The distant sounds of the Candy Kingdom and Jake lamenting at not winning card wars are all the sounds there are, up there.

Until the sounds of someone crawling onto the roof with him.

He sharply turns, ready to fight off whatever evil was trying to kidnap Finn or Jake (or both) this time. But no, it’s just you again.

“Was Jake too mean in card wars?”

“No, I just lost. They’re playing elimination, I don’t feel like watching the rest.”

You plop down right next to him.

“Y’ever been there?” You look up at the sky.

Fern squints, “That cloud?”

“No, pom-pom. The sky.” (This was a new nickname, made after the discovery of his dandelion tail).

“No. Wait! Yes. Magic man was doing some b-s with my bro, so I had to meet the immortal King of Mars.”

“Then what?”

“He died.”

You snort. It wasn’t an intentional joke, but he gets that weird buzzy feeling again.

“Whoa, poms. You’re like, covered in flowers.”

Finn groans. “Aghh! Again??” He sits up and rushes to brush the reds, yellows and oranges off himself.

He turns to you smiling at him in his flower frenzy, frown heavy upon his face.

“What?” He asks, accusatory, grass puffed up (the image reminds you of an angry cat).

“Nothing. Just you.”

Fern’s tail twitches, he de-puffs and he brings his knees to his chest.

It’s quiet again, you both sitting in comfortable silence.

“We may not have sunshine, or starlight, or weather,

But we've got each other, and that's even better.

You don't need the sun to keep you warm when you've got arms,

Wishes come from you and not a random shooting star.

We may not have storm clouds, but the sky's always blue,

We've got something special here

And what we have is you

What we have is you

What we have is you…”

You look over to grass-boy, asking if he liked it, but you stop yourself halfway. He was asleep.

You brush the stray hairs out of his face, before climbing back off the roof to probably lose card wars again. Such is the tragedy of sleepovers.

Fern would later wake up, and have an important realization.

Fern messes around with his…Finn’s old racecar track toy. He then drops it to the floor.

“I got a question for you, Finn.”

“What’s up, dude?”

“If I…hypothetically…liked…someone… how would I go about doin’ that?”

“You got a crush?”

“No! It’s hypothetical.”

Finn squints at him.

“Hypothetical.”

Finn continues to squint.

“Hy-po-the-ti--”

“No no, I got it.”

“Okay.”

“Well…I would say you tell them how you feel.”

Flowers cover his face again. “Noooooo!! What if they don’t like me back? What if they like someone else?”

Finn shrugs, “Then they don’t like you back. I had a crush on PB for years, she never liked me back and we’re still friends.”

“But what if…”

“Dude.” Finn stops him. “You got this.”

Fern would appreciate his cheering on, but he’s not so sure Finn would say the same thing had he known it was you, or that he’s got this. He knows you like spending time with Finn more than him.

The ???th time (he’s lost count), you invited him along again, with Finn, (and basically everyone else in Ooo, to be honest. It happens when you’re friends with Finn) to a TV night for your birthday. It was an old one you scavenged up, “My Little Pony” or something (his favorite character is Rainbow Dash).

After many weeks of toeing around the idea of asking you out (that time you guys made pancakes, when you went for a dip in the river He’s going to do it tonight.

You sat next to him (close. to him), singing along to the many, many songs over the noise of the crowd behind the couch.

“No, I do not love the groom, in my heart there is no room—” You lean into him and he mumbles along with the lyrics, small smile on his face.

“Finally the moment has arrived! For me, to be one lucky bride…” Finn is also singing. He pauses, staring off into space, before snapping up. “Oh yeah!”

“Hm?” You look across Fern to him.

“C’mere dude, I gotta show you something!”

You get up from his side, going with Finn, and leaving him disappointed.

He follows the duo, though the mild party and to the hallway where Finn was lugging a huge box.

“I got you a present!”

“Oh, awesome,”

“You wanna open it?”

“Hold on,” You pull a pair of scissors out of your pocket. Why it was in there, no one will ever know.

Fern then gets hit by the realization that he forgot to get you a present. How the heck did he think he could just /show up/ to your party without one?

“Oh, Finn, this is so cool! Thanks so much,” You admire the new guitar you’d window shopped for a few weeks ago, which Finn had apparently taken notice of.

“It’s NP, DW about it.”

“Why are you talking in acronyms?”

“It’s a new thing I’m trying out.”

Fern shuffles over to you. “Hey, um, [ ]? Can I talk to you about something?”

“What’s up?”

He lowers his head more. “Can I talk to you about it in private?”

You look back at Finn, then nod and gesture for him to follow into a more secluded hallway, the muffled sounds of dance music vibrating through the walls.

You don’t say anything, and instead are listening intently (terrifying). Fern has to take a deep breath to steady himself.

“I….um….” He begins to fidget with his hands, “I think you’re really cool. And…you’re one of the only people who doesn’t look at me like a monster. And I like hanging out with you and I wanna hang out more and…”

You nod, urging him to continue.

“…andddddd I—”

“AAAAAAAH!” A scream from the party interrupts him.

“GIANT WORM!”

You both immediately run out, to see a monster breaking through one of the walls of your house, jerking around violently as Finn already had his sword around its neck (?).

Fern rushes in, grass sword already whipped out.

He joins Finn on its head (? Again. It’s a worm) stabbing it, rapidly. Its pink blood drips down the side of its face, onto your floor. It begins jerking and twitching even more violently now, trying to shake Fern off.

Finn struggles, and tries to get a stable footing, before the force it’s using to try and get both him and Fern off plunges Finn’s sword right through its neck.

Its head falls right to the floor, Fern still on it, who is still stabbing.

Finn continues to fight the rest of the worm’s body, which has since retreated outside and is currently trying to spit acid at him, leaving barren spots in the grass with only mildly dissolved dirt.

You crouch in front of Fern, putting your hand on his shoulder.

“I think it’s had enough, grass boy,”

He looks up at you, then back down at the corpse-head, and re-sheathes the grass sword.

“What were you saying?”

Feen blinks. What was he saying?

You stare at him, intently.

Oh yeah, absolute fear. “I…..”

“……reallyreallylikeyou. Alotalot.” He snaps his eyes shut when he says it, only opening one a moment later to gauge your reaction.

You knew this already, but you wanted to wait until he was sure of his feelings.“Awww, I like you too! you little pom-pom.” You squish his (flower covered) face.

“Stop it!” He complains.

“Nope, we're partners. You can’t escape me now,”

‘Nooooooooooo…”

“Go Fern! Yeahhh!” Finn shouts from where he stood on the decapitated corpse on the worm, covered in pink blood.

You giggle, before it slowly subsides. “Wait a minute. How am I gonna pay for my house?”

#mariner writes #mariner art #adventure time x reader #fern the human #fern x reader #x reader #THIS TOOK TOO LONG IM SOOO SORRY

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rapha-reads · 9 months ago

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IWTV rewatch

(fascinated by the choices made between books and show so I gotta study them like bugs under a microscope. Spoilers for the whole show and the books)

Season 1 episode 6 [Like Angels Put In Hell By God] - part 1/2

- [Louis] "Excruciating pain was the proof I was still alive." - that's one way of confirming proof of life.

- [Daniel] "'He could fly?' [Louis] 'Yes.' [Daniel] 'Like Superman?' [Louis] 'Not like Superman. Superman is a fictional character.' [Daniel] 'But in the air, with a 'fuck you to Newtonian physics' flying?' [Louis] 'He said it was more like floating, arising at will, propelling in a direction by the decision. He called it the cloud gift.'"

Love how Louis is adamant in pointing the difference between Lestat and Superman: one's fictional, the other is very much real. No fiction here, no sir-e. And hello canon callback, the Cloud Gift.

- [Daniel]"That's the voice of Doctor Fareed Bhansali." - EXCUSE ME. WHAT. WHO. HOW. WHAT. Filed under things that mean nothing to the non-book readers but will make the book readers lose their minds.

- [Louis] "Are you still dreaming about our first meeting, Daniel?" - I'm gonna go ahead and say, yeah, from what we know of that meeting now, that's definitely the stuff of dreams. Bad dreams, that is.

- [Daniel] "Can you fly, Louis?" - helloooo PTSD.

- [Louis] "I suppose he thought if he exposed all his power to me, I would never feel his equal and the relationship would suffer." -… Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that exactly what it came to be? Also, in book canon, Lestat doesn't like using the Cloud Gift. It's very tied in with Akasha and the abuse he goes through at her hands, and he resents that loss of control and bigger divide between him and humanity.

[Daniel] "'He only beat me the one time, Officer. It's not his fault.' Classic Stockholm, eh, Doc?" - still tripping over the fact that THAT'S Doctor Fareed, oh shit, 1, he's hot, 2, THAT'S FAREED BHANSALI. Oh, and also, Daniel is right and he should say it. But also he doesn't have all the facts, which are 1, we love Lestat, 2, one murder attempt kinda makes up for it, they're even now, and 3, "memory is a beast".

- [Louis] "Are we the sum of our worst moments? Can we be forgiven if we do not forgive others ourselves?" - THIS. I don't have more comments, just this, so much.

- Oof. Welcome to physical therapy. As a vampire, that must be excruciating.

- [Louis] "'If you ever wanna talk about what happened to you while you were gone, you know you can, right?' [Claudia] 'Uh-huh.' [Louis] 'Or you could just tell me his name, write it on a scrap of paper.' [Claudia] 'You gonna be my knight in vengeful black?' [Louis] 'I am the knight.'" >> 80 years later, "I own the night", we love character development when the seeds are planted from the beginning. And puns, we love puns too.

- [Lestat] "The Book of Hours, extremely rare, 15th century. Silver and gold in the vellum, palettes of blue and old rose." - I want that book so bad… Ahem. I mean, nope, forgiveness will not be bought by gifts, no matter how impressive or expensive.

- [Lestat] "Perhaps we should let him decide if he wants to see me or not." - I think the coffin flying out of the window is a very clear answer.

- You know what, I'm ready to incorporate in my belief system that Emily Dickinson is a vampire. After all, s2 already said Samuel Beckett is. Let's add the Brönte sisters to the list too. Not the Austens tho, I don't think so.

- I love how mature Claudia looks in that hairdo.

- [Lestat] "I'm nothing without both of you." - sweetie, you need to grow an independent self.

- [Louis] "For six years in all, these raw and desperate mea culpas came like the tide. And for six years, they were greeted with silence or fire. We burned more gifts than bodies in that decade, but they would not stop coming. And Lestat's relentless determination began to crack my considerable armor. Perhaps it was the modesty of the gesture. But in the spring of 1937, one broke through."

If they were real people, I'd say" girl, no, run, stop". But the beauty of fictional characters is that the more messed up, the more compelling, and I am on the edge of my seat getting ready for Lestat to come crawling back and for Louis to fall even harder.

- Aaaaaaaaaah, Lestat singing!!!! Rockstar Lestat wheeeeeeeeeeeeeen.

- [Louis] "The audacity of it all was matched only by its sincerity" - that's the definition of Lestat, that here.

- [Louis] "Six years of begging, you think a song's gonna get a rise out of me?" -… Babe, you just swam the Mississipi and broke down a door, I'd say he managed it.

Also, hello again, Sam Reid's training routine. Man, that chest.

[Louis] "Write me a song and put your lover's voice in it?" - I don't know if I wanna applaud Lestat's boldness or rip his heart out for his casual cruelty.

Sorry Antoinette, nobody ever holds a candle to Louis in Lestat's eyes…

- [Daniel] "'You took Lestat back.' [Louis] 'The vampire bond. There is no human equivalent.' [Daniel] 'Lover, murderer, maker. You took him back.' [Louis] 'It's a bond than can never be fully severed. A bond like that makes you believe there's only the two of you on the planet.'"

Daniel Molloy season 1: giiiirl he's abusive and violent and a cheating liar, why would you take him back?

Daniel Molloy season 2: never mind, better the guy who loves you and would have died to save you even though he's the one that broke you than the psycho besides you who's been lying for 80 years and is the reason your daughter's dead, I am now the number one Loustat defender.

Mate, same.

- I am absolutely mesmerised by Louis's eyes in this episode. Oh, boy, how is he so, so beautiful.

- "His name was Magnus. He took me from my room in Paris, as I kicked and screamed. He kept me for a week, locked in a room full of corpses - some freshly killed, some bloated and black. But they all looked like me - my coloring, my physique. My own eyes staring back at me from rotting faces. He fed on me every night. And then he put me back in the tower with the look-alike corpses. I thought for sure I'd be one of them, but instead he turned me into this. No grand history of vampiric origins or physiology, no rules, no counsel. Just a sweeping hand to a pile of money and the sight of him throwing himself into a fire. And then I was alone. I thought… 'I can't drink hot blood. I can't feed on others.' I cried. I called to God. I didn't want this. But I have a capacity for enduring. It's why I don't particularly like being abandoned."

Aah, this is such a fascinating moment. Lestat is trying so hard to remain impassive and neutral, but his voice wavers all through the story, and his gaze is distant and clouded when he recounts the worst parts, his fear, his loneliness. And then Louis looking at him with so much compassion and so much pain, fully empathising, and Claudia, even though she also feels some modicum of pity, immediately looking to Louis and seeing that he's fully back to loving Lestat, and for his sake, for his sake only, she agrees to Lestat coming back… Beautiful.

And then when you think about Lestat's origins as a vampire (and we haven't even touched on his human history because damn that part too is hard), enduring is really his main trait. He's a survivor. In every meaning of the word. Survivor of rape, because that's what his turning is, survivor of several types of abuse going back all the way to his childhood, survivor of his own demons,… As Louis said, are we the sum of our worst moments? In Lestat's case, I feel like the answer is clearly "no. We are the sum of how much we're trying. We mess up at times, we fail, we hurt each other - but we keep trying our best and we keep trying to stay true to ourselves and we make amends and we recognise our faults".

A pause, here. Breathe. And then onto part 2.

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #iwtv amc #amc iwtv #iwtv s1 #iwtv rewatch #episode reaction #like angels put in hell by god #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #claudia de pointe du lac #armand de romanus #daniel molloy #loustat #rapha talks #rapha watches shows

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chaos-bringer-13 · 1 year ago

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First name basis?! I am allowed to know your name?! *faints from emotions*

I'm fine with crying if that keeps you living. In fact, I'm gonna go and reread your stories, and you risk turning into a toddler soon. Have my tears, a powerful immortal being who I know almost nothing about, for I love you for your magical stories.

How do you remember how old you are though? I keep forgetting my age, and I'm younger. Are you sure you didn't lose count? Oh, oh- do you remember how Egyptian pyramids were built? Stonehenge? Oh my chaos, you're so much older than my literal country!

DP x DC Prompt #27

When Dick's parent's fell, his first thought was, "This can't be happening." His second thought was, "What's going to happen to me and my brother now?"

The answer? His brother was older than him, much older. Old enough that he could stay with the circus. But Dick? Dick couldn't stay with Danny. He was too young.

So Bruce Wayne took him in, offered to take Danny in too. Dick begged his brother to join him, but Danny didn't. He smiled at Dick, ruffled his hair, and told him he'd be waiting at the circus for when Dick returned. Promised to send postcards and letters.

Then he was gone. And Dick never returned to the circus.

#I'm gonna incorporate your age into my belief system #along with the fact that you stay youthful thanks to our tears #and I'm gonna make it your problem #I'm gonna be that kid who goes to adults like “do you remember dinosaurs?”#I haven't annoyed anyone for too long and you gave me a wonderful reason to be annoying #I'm running with everything you said sorry not sorry #alright I think I calmed down #...#have you met Jesus before he became mainstream?#I just realized that all it takes to get your name is yelling at you in the tags and it's so funny #me: YOU'RE A FREAKING ONION-CUTTING GHOST NINJA WHY DO YOU ENJOY OUR PAIN #you: Uhhh. You can call me Mimi :)#is this how you make friends on tumblr

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solunstell · 1 year ago

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List of bsd headcanons

Dazai:

Has bpd. A lot of his traits remind me of my friends with it

He some kind of trans. Nonbinary. Transfem. Transmasc. Idk he's megender lmao

He's described as appearing very youthful in the first two light novels. I imagine that once the events of the main timeline start picking up though, with all the time stopping or slowing abilities that *dont affect him*, he actually ages faster than the other characters. I draw current dazai with small wrinkles, which also hints at stress and stuff

Also, I imagine current dazai getting tanner as he works in the light, as well as getting more prominent freckles.

Round/doe eyes because that is part of his appearance in my opinion. Seeming unsuspecting and innocent, especially during his mafia days

Bad eyesight in his right eye from being under the bandages for so long. Saw this headcanon and loved it

Similarly, beastzai has bad vision in general

I always call No Longer Human an anti-ability in my head, fun fact

He loves to touch other people. Not a fan of being touched by others unless asked

I draw him with red eyes in color, and usually black eyes in ink (inconsistent artstyle my beloved)

Aroace spectrum

heavy sleeper. Very

Chuuya

FRECKLES and tan from sheep days

He likes to be close to other people more than actually touching. Presence over contact

That shade of eyes that changes colors in the light (but I use a grey base lol)

Also some sort of trans, but in a different way than dazai

Brownish red hair. Not blazing, not just brown

That man is AUTISTIC

One time instinctively kicked a friend with his ability active, expecting them to dodge cuz he's used to dazai easily dodging. They did, but they were SO CLOSE to getting hit. Imagine a confused face like wtf why you try to kick me

Light sleeper, but every now and then sleeps like he just learned how to close his eyes

A lot of his jokes go over people's heads because they expect him to be serious and his voice just doesn't change between serious and not serious

Ranpo

Autism plus adhd ftw

Aroace spectrum

Poe

He/they vibes

Anxiety

Gay af

I can 100% see him being into knitting. Imagine the guide plus ranpo all in matching sweaters

Loves baking. Sooooo bad at it

Lucy

Bi (with a lean towards girlies) she/it

VERY good at baking

But she won't share :(

Atsushi

Anxiety, so much anxiety

Aroace spectrum vibes

Very easily idolizes people and then gets surprised when they actually like being around him

Akutagawa

Aroace spectrum

Autism cuz he is so mecore sometimes

Very trans vibes from me

(I like to imagine him having tourettes cuz I have tourettes and I am Not projecting)

Atsushi (special kitty hearing) and jouno being the only ones who can hear some of his tics. He will be horrified that anyone notices them

Wait no actually I'm gonna incorporate that into my belief system. That's canon now

Mori

Genuinely cares about a lot of his workers, but not all of them

He gives great bonuses for birthdays

He absolutely loves vtubers if bsd were in a modern setting. Rip mori. He'd have also loved vocaloid lmao

Ozaki

Masc energy. Fem energy. Ooh I can see ozaki with any pronouns and identity

Kinda person to accidently either overpack or underpack. Always has painkillers, never has a pen

Ridiculous memory. Incredible gift giver. Would get someone something months or years after overhearing them say they wanted something once

"Whyd you get me a hairdryer?"

"You said you needed one. I saw it and thought of you."

"...that was months ago. I got a hairdryer already."

"..." *takes hairdryer back* "sorry wrong person. I don't have my contacts in my bad"

She has perfect vision

Kunikida

Trans vibes. In any and every direction

Adhd af

Will always conveniently have room in his schedule when Aya wants to go do something and needs someone to go with her. No, he's TOTALLY not frantically writing and erasing things, get your glasses updated

You can usually count on him to continue the bit cuz he won't realize there is a bit occurring

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nighting-crow · 3 months ago

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Modded Followers (Plus Crow and Sorayne) as Incorrect Quotes

Nebarra on his first day as a lawyer: Mothers and fuckers of the jury...

*My chemical romance stars playing* Auri: Omg you emo Aurlyn, pointing to Lucifer: It's his playlist! Auri, Aurlyn and Lucifer all start singing: Lucien: Hey, where you at? Lydia: My limit. I'm at my FUCKING limit.

Gore: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

Lucifer: Kaidan Brought five guys home I'm so excited! Lucifer: Clarification, five guys is a restaurant chain that specializes in gourmet burgers and fries. Lucifer: I'm not having an orgy.

Xelzaz: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Auri: Several traffic violations. Varrick: Three counts of resisting arrest. Val: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Ashe: Also, that’s not our car.

Kaidan, glaring at Caryalind's coffin: We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY. Couldn't stay alive.

Val: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Gabrielle: Fucking Gore and Lucifer were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

Ashe: Wait, is Baja Blast a real thing? I thought all of you were talking about masturbating. Khash: The way it tastes, we might as well be.

Xelzaz: What is wrong with you? Gabrielle: Loaded question. Elaborate.

Kaidan: *sees someone doing something stupid* Kaidan: What an idiot. Kaidan: *realizes it's Caryalind* Kaidan: Wait, that's MY idiot!

Gore: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

Val: If I may interject... Aurlyn: Oh, awesome, Val was eavesdropping.

Inigo: Drunk driving IS cringe unless you're doing it sexually like a fetish? Remiel: W-what?! Ashe: Yeah, I'll incorporate that into my belief system.

Ashe: If we lose, you’re out of the will. Inigo: I was in the will?

Crow: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

Varrick: Everything’s fine, Knight. Gabrielle: Veil, I know your relationship with the english language is strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.

Val: Don't know why people think kids learning about gay relationships in school will turn them gay. I learned about World War Two, but am yet to invade Poland.

Crow: Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don’t answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.

Gabrielle: At this point, I'm holding myself together with glitter glue.

Kaidan: It's ride and die

Gabrielle: You can take away my rights, but can you take away my lefts?

Auri: You can't wake up if you never got to sleep.

Lydia: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.

Gabrielle: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

Varrick, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!

Nebarra: No, they're not "symptoms of depression", they're Blue's Clues.

Sorayne: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Varrick, sniffing: Sometimes coke is so good.

Ashe: If you step on a person's foot, they open up their mouths just like a trash can.

Eris: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

Val: I was born for politics. I have great hair. And I love lying.

Varrick: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

Gore: Mama. Just killed a man. Gore: Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead. Gore: MAMAAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Auri: What?! Let me hide the body, where is it? Is there anyone around that can hear us? Auri: ...Are those song lyrics? Gore: Those are song lyrics.

Lucien: Then either Sonic is a god or could kill god, and I do not care if there is a difference.

Remiel: You look mentally ill. Gabrielle: I am. Let’s go. Sorayne, texting Taliesin: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater… Taliesin′s phone, auto-replying: I’m driving right now–I’ll get back to you later. *Later* Taliesin, texting back: Fuck you.

Sorayne: Wait you have thots? Crow: God I wish

Eris:If I had to describe my life in a movie scene, It's be the part in Elf when he gets hit by the taxi and then thanks them.

Kaidan: What has the galaxy ever done for you?! Why would you wanna save it?! Crow: Cause I’m one of the idiots who lives in it!

Inigo: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk. Kaidan: Go the fuck to sleep Inigo.

Auri: The last guy's blood didn't splatter across my face and shirt sexily or aesthetically enough so I have to kill again. Sorry.

Gore: Who wants to go out of the country on a road trip? Khash: Yea, I could drink legally! Kaidan: I could hang out with the boys! Sorayne: I could hide from the consequences of my actions.

Gore: Everybody shut up, I'm thinking. Taliesin, patting them on the back: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Crow: *slams books down in front of Gabrielle* Crow: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night. Gabrielle: You could of said literally anything else. Crow: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble. Gabrielle: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now. Gore, trying to be nice: Sorry I told you the fucking truth you stupid bitch.

Sorayne: honk. Caryalind: WHAT. Sorayne: HONK. Caryalind: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

Sorayne: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed. Gabrielle: But you do know better.

Val: I'm actually the smartest and most beautiful person on this damn playground so you'd better show some fucking respect before I scrape my knees and make it look like you pushed me.

Sorayne: Getting up at 6:00 am made me realize that 6:00 am isn't a place, it's an emotion. Kaidan: 6:00 am isn't a place at all? Sorayne: That's because it's an emotion.

Eris: Lol and lmao and so on and so forth.

Remiel: If you got arrested what would be the charges? Ashe: Theft. Xelzaz: Disturbing the peace. Nebarra: Aggravated assault. Gabrielle: Arson. Auri: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Disnel: I’m so happy two of my favorite people are getting along now. Khash: Uh, Varrick and Gabrielle are not getting along. Disnel: They’re not trying to kill each other. Khash: You may have a point.

Taliesin: Forgive me Father, for I have sinny-sin-sinned.

Auri: May luck (and this picture of Gore eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you.

Taliesin: If you don't kiss your cat on their tiny soft little fotehead then what the fuck are you even doing? Lydia: Yelling at them for trying to eat plastic.

Remiel: What goes up but never comes down? Lydia: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.

Kaidan: What's the gender neutral term for eboy and egirl? Taliesin: Ebay. Auri: Ebook. Nebarra: ECOLI.

*In the chip aisle at Walmart, doing a late-night grocery run.* Remiel: *Minding their own business, looking for tortilla chips.* Remiel: *Finds tortilla chips.* Val, to Auri: See, they know what they're here for. They know what they're doing. Be more like them. Make a decision, Auri.

Gabrielle: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

Kaidan: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

Taliesin: Crow, I need some advice. Crow: You need advice from ME? Taliesin: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Kaidan: When I drink alcohol, everyone says I'm an alcoholic, but when I drink Fanta, no one says I'm fantastic.

Nebarra, posting on social media: I am drunk on my front porch and I think a lizard went into my shirt but whatever man, have fun in there. Nebarra, the next morning: When did I post this?!

Caryalind: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. Caryalind: I need my socks.

Varrick: *pitches an idea* Disnel, impressed: Huh, there might be something here! Gabrielle, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

*Crow drunkenly wanders around the house and Kaidan is drunkenly giggling* Varrick, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Gabrielle. Gabrielle, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

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birdmenmanga · 3 months ago

Text

and SCENE!

Thank you for coming to my gorgeous @kitreadsbirdmen's birthday present, which I made in lieu of a Tanabemas gift because I ran out of time </3

The prompt I was intending to run with was "Seraph culture headcanons", but I feel like as with everything I do it was so specific it took on a life of its own. The original idea was actually just "Robin's flock don't consider themselves to be American", which is a subset of the "Birdmen don't believe in national borders" headcanon I have, which is in turn drawn from the way Karasuma's posse traveled around the world with blatant disregard for national borders in canon.

Like, I believe in the future there WILL still be equivalents of immigration offices even in birdmen society, in order to optimize flock blackout response, but national borders will never be used to deny people entry into a certain place, as they are in today's society.

So then I had to pick some characters to project this headcanon on (so I had something to write about versus just explaining it like I'm doing here) and Robin's American flock is the obvious first choice. More so than anyone, they were actually, genuinely wronged by their government in ways that the other birdmen weren't. (Which I do think is an intentional choice on the part of the canon narrative... the US DOES operate as the enforcer of global capitalism imo but then that's accepting the interpretation that EDEN represents capitalism which is a whole other thing)

Also, the added bonus of an American journalist character already existing in canon definitely tied it all together. I actually forgot about her for a bit but when I remembered her everything came together (relatively) smoothly

I really do love a good bit where I talk about something like yeah the time knife. we've all seen it. and genuinely I think this is probably the best example of something like that for me because there IS a pretty fleshed out postcanon world in my head I never talk about. I think I hint at a lot of stuff that is there, and to be totally honest I was surprised by some of the things I ended up writing. like damn... robin's dead? legally speaking I mean? that's crazy I didn't know that <- you are making it all up what are you talking about

I don't think this is as good as I WANT it to be for a variety of reasons (having trouble figuring out how to incarnate these ideas into a tangible yet succinct work, time crunch, sleep crunch, etc.) so I think I will hold off on posting it on Ao3 for another half year. I really wanted to have like. captioned photographs and quotes like real journalism articles, you know??? but sometimes this is just as good as something gets at the moment

anyways I hope you like it!! And even if you don't like it I hope it gives you something to chew on LOL

new alex dia article dropped and first of all go off miss howard but like. is it just me or is it completely stupid that the US is trying to fund antitranshuman bioweapons at this point in time??? like... what's going on in the heads of the us politicians. if it passes it's going to 100% count as "acts of aggression" by the fucking bird treaty and then what? are they gonna firebomb the ny flocks??? be real. the US military can't win even WITH ath bioweapons it's just a matter of how many transhumans are gonna die at this point

full article under cut since it's paywalled (sorry it's just screenshots I'll add alt text when I get home)

#just thinking thoughts...#SORRY IF THE ARTICLE GOT OVERLY POLITICAL BTW. even though I don't think I need to apologize for it #bm was already saying similar things #I'm just saying it more explicitly <- my whole modus operandi tbh #I do think in another half year I will actually be more literate in the relevant topics #like I was writing this and there was like a good chunk of stuff I KNEW I was hand waving #like brother... are they part of the navajo nation then? what about the blood quantum shit?#and well. yeah. my lack of understanding is ALWAYS revealed in this stage... just means I need to go back and fill in the gaps #also robin being legally dead threw a wrench in my other stuff #you offhandedly commented 'oh are alva and robin defense attorneys in chorus?'#and I liked it so much I incorporated that into my belief system #but then I was like how is she gonna be a defense attorney if she's dead! ! ! so I turned her into a legal consultant instead. lol #I originally intended it to be chorus-compatible but I dunno if I'm serious about that yet #IT ALSO THREW A WRENCH IN THE MIGUEL AND ROBIN ARE MARRIED THING #HOW ARE THEY GONNA BE MARRIED IF SHE'S DEAD LMAOOOOOO #in my head it's like. she's alive in navajo nation's documents. and that's how they're working it.#ummm yeah. ask me anything lollll #birdmen

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