#Golden/abduction arc aftermath

[n1ko-whoisdefinatelynotacat]

-Complimentary colors!!!-

Tall green lady: Hey is Niko purring? I can hear somebody doing that but I can’t figure out who it is.

Small Pink gremlin: I’ll go check hold on

Small Pink gremlin: …

Small Pink gremlin: Oh my gods.

Tall green lady: What is it??

Small Pink gremlin: So it’s partially Niko purring-

Tall green lady: There is more to that and I don’t know if I’m prepared

Small Pink gremlin: Things we didn’t know until right now: Avians can also purr?

Tall green lady: Wait what

Small Pink gremlin: [Redacted] is also purring? I’m so confused how the hell does this work

Tall green lady: Asa’s going to flip when we tell her.

[oneshot-twm-but-tv-headed]

-Twm is back in their homeworld, currently just thinking about what went down-

[Ughhhh… That was chaotic…]

-He leans back, against the wall, just trying to calm down-

[Nobody here can catch a break, can th-]

-Suddenly, there’s a yellow flash of light, and a swirling yellow portal appears. Twm stands straight up.-

[What the h-]

-A figure quite literally falls out of the portal, and takes a second to push themself up onto their feet. Once the yellow glow fades, the figure is revealed to be Somino.-

Well at least I know I can open portals into digital places too.

-Then they look up, and their expression changes. They stand all the way up, and basically sprint at Twm.-

[OH SH-]

Where the heCK DID YOU GO?!

[Niko I-]

No! Too many people recently have just disappeared for no apparent reason!

I just got kidnapped, [Redacted] literally just died, and then I get a notification that you’re not connected anymore?!

[Niko listen it was a b-]

You better have a good explanation because I might go crazy if it was something stupid.

-Twm sighs, and begins to explain. After a while, she’s finished, and they look at Somino.-

Okay… I think I understand.

I’m still mad, but I can at least understand why you cut the connection.

-It goes silent for a minute, and then Twm speaks up-

[Hold on, did you open that portal??]

Yeah. [Redacted] said if after an hour if I hadn’t come back he’d open one into here.

-and as if on cue, another yellow portal opens back up, and [Redacted] looks through it.

[Might want to hurry bud. I can’t hold these as long as normal since I’m still recovering.]

-With a nod, Somino turns and heads towards it. They wave at Twm, and mention that they’ll message him later, and then they go through.-

[…]

[We really have had too many things happen recently…]

[for-some-reason-i-can-hold-light]

He knew pretty quick that he'd started seeing things that weren't there. He figured he was probably asleep, or maybe it was their panic that did this. Whatever it was, he wanted it to stop.

It's head hurt, more than usual. He was no stranger to a headache, he had them frequently. Probably a side effect of the first time he... died. He didn't like that it had happened twice, but he would've done it again in a heartbeat.

He didn't want to see the four of them. They'd been dead for years, and it got harder and harder to see them each time. Especially because... he couldn't remember their faces anymore.

It wasn't abnormal that their eyes didn't show. This was an aspect of true names. If you didn't know it, you couldn't see that persons eyes. He just took it a step farther with its spell casting.

At some point he thought he heard one of the others come in. He still couldn't see anything but the other four saviors, and a ravaged battle field, but he could hear one of them talking to it. He wanted to respond, but no words left its mouth.

At some point, they realized somebody had put a weighted blanket around them. It took a minute, but slowly the... hallucinations? Whatever they were, disappeared.

When he could finally see fully again, he realized he was sitting in the main room of the dorm. Niko was in the kitchen, clearly making tea. Asa was sitting there in the kitchen as well, working on something for her exams. Rizu and Sage weren't there.

Niko didn't say anything when they walked over, they just handed him a mug. The relief he felt from the silence was great, because their headache just felt worse.

After a bit, he felt himself start to drift to sleep. He was exhausted, so he just let it happen.

Finally it felt quiet.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

In the Event of My Demise | Ralvez

not my gif

Title inspo- In the Event of my Demise - Jake Bugg

A/N - this is for @imagining-in-the-margins Comfort Challenge. Thank you to the wonderful @tobias-hankel for being my beta! Set post 13.6 The Bunker. Includes references to 12.22 Red Light. I wrote this in a like a day, but I don’t hate it so, yeah.

Summary - months after his release from prison, Spencer Reid still hasn’t allowed himself to deal with the residual trauma of what happened to him. When a local case triggers his inevitable breakdown, Luke Alvez must pull Spencer back from the brink or risk losing him to his demons forever.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Luke Alvez (platonic ish)

Category - hurt / comfort | angst | hopeful ending

Content Warnings - Mentions of prison arc, Cat Adams and Lindsey Vaughn and Mr Scratch, talk of PTSD, therapy, swearing, mental breakdowns, possible psychotic breaks, small mention of blood, mentions of sexual assault (as per canon), talk of being drugged, Spencer losing his grip on reality, tears, a broken man just needing a hug, hidden feelings.

WC - 7.6k

Profiling hadn’t come naturally to Luke Alvez. As a former army ranger turned fugitive task force agent it wasn’t something he’d ever had to be versed in. He was a man hunter, he didn’t read human behaviour the way the rest of the BAU did every single day. Picking up on little nuances and tiny changes in a person's tone of voice or posture wasn’t something that came easily to him. 

Luke was used to being more hands on. The physical aspect of the job was no issue for him whatsoever. He could chase down an unsub no problem. In all honesty he could run circles around most of his team, with the exception of Simmons anyway. But Matt’s background in the IRT meant he had a better grasp on profiling and despite joining the team later than Luke, seemed to be flourishing in this environment. 

But Luke was no quitter and he refused to be average at anything he did. So he studied, he read every book he could get his hands on about profiling and human behaviour so Hotch didn’t change his mind about hiring him. And progressively his skills were improving and he started to finally feel like a valid member of the team. 

Still he was a novice in comparison to the rest of the BAU, which was why it was so odd for him to be the only one who seemed to notice that one of their own was struggling. 

It made perfect sense. After what he’d been through of course he would be. But in the aftermath of the whole Scratch debacle, the youngest team members' issues seemed to get swept under the rug. But Luke noticed. Luke couldn’t help but notice. 

If Luke was completely honest with himself he’d done nothing but notice Doctor Spencer Reid since the first day they met, over case files about the Crimson King. Luke was instantly enthralled by the young genius, fascinated by the way he seemed to know something about everything. And his beautiful golden eyes certainly didn’t help matters either. 

He could probably attribute a lot of his newfound profiling skills to his observations of Spencer. He noted and catalogued every facial expression, every verbal and non verbal tick of the captivating man. After only a few months Luke could have written the Idiots Guide to Spencer Reid. He consumed everything pertaining to him without even really meaning to. So maybe that was why he saw through Spencer’s attempts to pretend he was just fine that everyone else seemed to buy. 

They’d just finished up on a local case working with the Richmond Field Office, in which several women had been abducted over the past five years. It came to a head when Spencer and JJ were following up on a lead that landed them trapped in the unsubs underground bunker.  

“Oh boy wonder!” Garcia gasped the second the elevator doors creaked open and Spencer’s frame was revealed inside the metal shaft. How long she’d been standing there, awaiting his return, was anybody's guess. “Are you ok? That must have been horrible for you.”

She’d already give JJ the once over, ensuring her friend had come out of that situation unscathed. But Spencer she was more concerned about. Being trapped in an enclosed space like that after his time in prison had to have been a living nightmare for him. 

Spencer shuffled out of the elevator, avoiding eye contact with the bubbly blonde and willing to just be left alone. As soon as he was close enough, Penelope gripped him by the shoulders, trying to force him to make eye contact. 

“I’m fine, seriously. Please stop fussing over me.” Spencer shook off Garcia’s attempts to coddle him. 

“But after what you’ve been through…gosh it must have been so scary.” She ignored him trying to step away and threw her arms around the touch averse genius, despite him attempting to wriggle free. 

“It would have been scary for anyone, Garcia.” He kept his arms at his sides while Garcia practically hugged the air from his lungs. 

Luke watched on from just inside the glass double doors. He could see the discomfort in Spencer’s eyes that he kept focused on the ground, could sense the fact that the younger man just wanted to be left alone. Garcia on the other hand clearly missed these signals. 

“Stop trying to act brave.” She mumbled against his shoulder. 

“No one’s acting, Garcia. I’m fine. Please can we…” he raised his arms now and placed a hand on each of her biceps. 

Luke continued to watch as Spencer gently guided the tech analyst off of him, peeling her away from his body and taking a few steps back from her. 

Garcia’s eyes were wide with sadness as she looked at Spencer and once again, Spencer averted his gaze. 

“No one would think any less of you if you were affected by this, Spence.” She whispered, Luke had to strain himself to hear her. 

He noticed Spencer’s shoulder stiffen, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides while he kept up his stare off with the floor. 

“Good to know.” He nodded, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth the way Luke knew he did when he was uncomfortable. “Can I use the bathroom now?” 

“Oh,” Garcia nodded, stepping back from Spencer’s path. “Of course! Sorry to keep you.”

Spencer didn’t reply, simply offered her a small shake of his head before he hurried past her down the corridor. 

That had been close to an hour ago now. The rest of the team had called it a night but Luke remained alone in the office. Spencer’s jacket and satchel hung on the back of his chair so he knew the younger man wouldn’t have left and Luke couldn’t bring himself to leave while Spencer was still here. 

He spent the better part of a half hour trying to talk himself into checking on Spencer. He didn’t want to overstep the mark, he’d seen the way in which he’d shot Garcia down when she tried to talk to him and could only assume he would meet a similar fate. Maybe he could just let Spencer know he was here, that he could talk to him if he needed someone. Spencer would no doubt reject him, but at least Luke might be able to sleep a little easier at night knowing he’d tried. 

Either way Luke knew he wasn’t going to leave before he saw Spencer, so no matter how long this internal debate went on, it was always going to end the same. So he swallowed his nerves and forced himself down to the men’s bathroom. 

***

Spencer Reid was incredibly adept at compartmentalisation. It was something that came part and parcel of being an FBI Agent for so many years. 

Frequently it was required to put his own feelings aside, separate the personal from the professional. He was so well versed in it, it came as second nature at this point. 

But there was never more need for this skill after his release from Milburn. 

When JJ had led him out of the prison gates and he’d seen Penelope standing there, eyes glossy with tears, he’d had to force back his own. He’d fallen into her arms, relishing in the feeling of being out, in the arms of one of his best friends and he’d almost crumbled. 

But he couldn’t. Not yet. 

His mom was still missing and if he had any chance of finding her he had to face off with Cat Adams again first. And to do that, he had to be in control of his emotions. 

He pigeonholed his feelings, putting a little pin in them for the time being. If he showed Cat any sign of weakness, no matter how small, his mother was as good as dead. 

And then once they found his mom alive and well, he’d almost allowed himself to succumb to all those emotions he’d bottled up in the past three months. Almost. But then he’d had to put his breakdown on hold again when Scratch kidnapped Emily. 

He barely held it together during that case, one he wasn’t even supposed to be working as he wasn’t technically reinstated. Throwing books at walls and scaring the living daylights out of Garcia certainly wasn’t the signs of a healthy, well adjusted man. Luke had confronted him when he couldn’t stop pressing his palms into his eye sockets, trying to make him feel better with his talks of PTSS. And maybe it worked for a short while. It helped at the very least to get Spencer through until Emily was found. 

Once she was back and safe he expected himself to crumble. But then he was mandated therapy and had to go through the whole rigmarole of being perceived to be capable enough to be reinstated. So once again his breakdown had to be put on the backburner just long enough for his therapist to deem him stable enough to return to work. And once that happened he was working back to back cases, teaching whenever he wasn’t at the BAU and his demise fell by the wayside. 

He didn’t have a second to stop and let himself fragment, and maybe in part, that was intentional. Maybe he’d deliberately kept himself busy to stop himself from reliving the three months he spent in prison so as to protect himself. Because Spencer knew that once he gave in, once he allowed himself to deal with the full weight of what he’d been through, he’d never come back from it. 

He didn’t exactly know why today was the day he’d spiralled. Arguably being in that bunker, trapped in a confined space once again was clearly the trigger. He knew it wouldn’t take much to push him over the ledge he’d been straddling since his arrest. And now the straw had broken the proverbial camel's back and Spencer had snapped, spiralling into the abyss he’d been narrowly avoiding since he’d been released and he was sure there would be no recovering from this. 

He’d excused himself to use the bathroom but time had ceased to exist since then. He could have been gone five minutes or five days for all he knew. He’d made it into the bathroom, to the sink and the mirror hanging above it. But he hadn’t seen his own reflection staring back at him; Cat Adams was staring back at him. She smirked at him before she started laughing maniacally, chiding him about what a fucking mess she’d made of him and his life. 

Oh Spencie, I really did ruin you didn’t I? You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you like this. Broken. Destroyed. I took everything from you and I loved every minute of it. 

Her sick and twisted voice sounded out around him and when he blocked his ears with his hands her voice only got louder. Her laughter grew more menacing, her image swarming his brain even when he closed his eyes. He stumbled backwards from the mirror and collapsed on the floor, hands still pressed firmly against his ears and eyes screwed tightly shut, mumbling under his breath. 

Go away! Leave me alone, you bitch! You don’t get to win, I won’t let you beat me! 

And that was how Luke found him. 

Seeing his friend on the bathroom floor, muttering and rocking and back and forth had all the makings of a psychotic break. Luke had never had to deal with someone in a situation like this. Was it similar to sleepwalking? Would it be dangerous to try and snap Spencer out of his state? It was only when he noticed the blood that his rational thinking flew out of the window and he darted to Spencer’s side. 

“Reid? Oh my god, Reid are you ok?” He threw himself on the floor next to Spencer, quickly finding the source of the blood. 

His knuckles were shredded and judging by the broken glass shards littered around him, Luke thought it was a pretty safe bet that Spencer had punched the mirror. 

“Reid? Can you hear me, man?” He pried Spencer’s right hand away from his ear and inspected the wound. It was still bleeding but it looked as though there was thankfully no glass in his knuckles. 

“Leave me alone you bitch!” Spencer screamed, banging his head back against the tiled wall. “Just leave me alone!” 

“Reid, it’s Luke. Spencer? It’s just me. Can you look at me?” He used his free hand to cup Spencer’s jaw, hoping the contact would make Spencer open his eyes. 

It did. But Luke almost wished he hadn’t. 

Spencer’s usually animated and beautiful eyes were void of any kind of emotion. He was looking right at Luke but he could tell Spencer couldn’t see him. 

“Please. I just want to forget.” He mumbled now, lip quivering. 

“Spencer, who are you talking to?” Luke was pretty sure he already knew the answer to that but he asked it all the same. 

Spencer’s pupils dilated before shrinking again a few times as if he was trying to adjust to the face in front of him. Blood was dripping from his knuckles onto Luke’s hand but he barely noticed. 

“Spencer?” Luke tried again. “Who do you think you’re talking to?” 

Spencer’s eyes glazed over and his head rolled back against the wall. When he spoke it was only one word but it haunted Luke to his core. 

“C-Cat.” He mumbled and then his entire body went limp and his eyes fell closed. His body seemed to crumble but thankfully Luke’s reaction times were faster and he managed to hold his arms out for Spencer to fall into, his head crashing against Luke’s chest as opposed to the hard floor. 

***

“Leave me alone you bitch!” 

“Spencie, it’s only me. Spencer? It’s just me. Can you look at me?”

“Please. I just want to forget.”

“Spencie, who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” 

“C-Cat.” 

The next thing Spencer was conscious of was the sound of an engine idling. With his eyes closed he imagined himself behind the wheel of that truck, hauling ass through the Mexican desert in his pursuit of Lindsey Vaughn. He opened his eyes, blinking a few times as the light from an overhead street lamp flooded his retinas. 

The vibrations from the vehicle rumbled through his legs and up his spine and aided in bringing him back down to earth. He felt a presence next to him and he slowly turned his head to the side. He held his breath, genuinely afraid he would meet the eyes of the woman who had ruined his life. But it wasn’t the evil hit woman he found looking back at him from the driver's seat. He breathed a sigh of relief as he met the other man’s gaze. 

“Luke,” he whispered, nodding his head a little. “Hi.” 

“You have no idea how good it is to hear you say my name.” Luke’s lip twitched into a smile but his eyes were sad. 

“Where are we?” Spencer ignored the confusion that swelled in his brain at Luke’s words and tried to focus on something smaller. 

“In my car. Outside your apartment.” 

Spencer frowned, glancing away from Luke and out of the passenger’s window. He cast his eyes up at the familiar building they were parked in front of. 

“Right. Ok.” He nodded but his confusion was written on his face. 

It was then he noticed a pain in his right hand and he looked down to where it was cradled in his lap to see a thick bandage around his knuckles. Spencer’s head was spinning. He had so many questions that were fighting for first place that it quickly induced a throbbing in his temples. 

He raised his hands to the sides of his head and dug his fingers into his skin, massaging the offending areas.

“Are you ok?” Luke sounded panic stricken all of a sudden and he reached across the centre console and placed his hand on Spencer’s knee. 

“Hmm.” Spencer mumbled. “Just…a lot of things going on in my head.”

“You never let yourself deal with what happened to you in prison.” Luke removed his hand and sat back in his seat. 

Spencer didn’t reply, just continued to knead his temples furiously. 

“Let me help you inside.” Luke unfastened his seatbelt and opened the car door. 

Spencer hadn’t moved by the time he rounded the vehicle and opened his own door. It took him a few more seconds to snap back and he lowered his hands so he could undo his seatbelt. 

He swung his legs out of the car and they shook a little when he stood. He used the door to steady himself for a moment before he trusted himself to move. Luke hovered behind him as he walked, scared the man might collapse but thankfully he made it to the door. Luke followed him inside, carrying his bag and jacket he’d taken from Spencer’s desk. 

He stayed close behind Spencer as he took to the stairs and watched as he fumbled a little unlocking his front door, clearly still not fully with it. It could take a while for him to come back completely. If he ever did. Luke’s main priority became making sure that didn’t happen. 

Spencer let him inside and if he realised the state or his apartment, he didn’t show it. While he kicked off his converse and hung up his blazer, Luke surveyed the chaos of Spencer’s usually perfectly tidy home. He’d only ever been yhere a handful of times, mostly when Spencer was incarcerated and Luke would accompany JJ or Garcia to visit Spencer’s mom. It had struck him each time how pristine the apartment was. Everything seemed to have a place, not a single book was out of line. And right now it was barely recognisable as Spencer’s home. 

He imagined the state of the apartment reflected the state of Spencer’s mind. Books had been ripped from their places on the shelves and tossed haphazardly across the room, some pages even having been torn from their spines as if Spencer had been searching for some kind of answer within those books. Dirty mugs and plates littered his desk and coffee table. A bottle of red wine had spilt and soaked into the rug next to the couch. Case files and pieces of paper were strewn around the room but Spencer didn’t seem to notice. 

Luke watched him head across the room, expertly stepping over the debris in a path he’d memorised in his head. He bypassed the couch and strolled straight into his bedroom, seemingly forgetting Luke was with him. 

“I’m gonna uh…put the kettle on.” Luke called after him but he received no response. 

Sighing to himself, Luke carefully stepped around the destruction on route to the kitchen. He found that room in much the same state of disarray. Cupboards were left open, the sink was full to bursting with dirty dishes, coffee powder and sugar granules coated much of the counter. There were no clean mugs so after he filled the kettle and set it to boil he started on some of Spencer’s washing up. 

He got about half way through the pile by the time it boiled and left the dishes to dry on the draining rack. He fixed Spencer a coffee, with slightly less sugar than the genius usually took, Luke thought he was probably on edge enough. He carried the coffee through the living room, dodging book detritus on his way. 

Spencer’s bedroom door was open so Luke didn’t knock, he shuffled his way inside to find it much like the other rooms in the apartment, this one was also trashed. His bed was unmade, the sheet untucked from one corner and peeling back from the mattress while the duvet sat crumpled at the end. It seemed as though he’d emptied the entirety of his closet across his bedroom floor and items of clothing lay creased in piles all over the place. 

The only thing not in Spencer’s bedroom was Spencer. 

Luke placed the coffee mug on the bureau in the corner as he picked up on the sound he’d missed when he entered the room. He frowned as he looked towards the door at the far side, presumably leading to the bathroom. The shower was running. That was a good sign, right? 

Wrong. 

“Reid, you ok in there?” Luke shuffled towards the door that had been left cracked an inch. 

Spencer didn’t reply, all that could be heard was the sound of the water from the shower head. 

“Spencer? Talk to me, man.” He was right by the door now, one hand flush on the wood. 

Once again he got no response. The last thing Luke wanted to do was walk in on Spencer in the shower. Well, not the last thing. It wasn’t as though Luke had never imagined sharing a shower with the eccentric and beautiful genius, it just hadn’t been under these particular circumstances. He edged the door open slightly, not daring to step in just yet, not unless he felt he had to. 

“Spencer? Please answer me.” He tried again but once again he was met by silence. 

He had two options. One, he waited it out, hoped that eventually Spencer would come out of the bathroom and Luke wouldn’t have to invade his privacy. Or secondly, he could go and check on Spencer only to find the man was probably just showering off a long day. But something in his gut was telling him that Spencer wasn’t simply showering. He knew what he had to do. With a sigh, Luke pushed open the bathroom door and stepped inside. 

***

“I’m gonna uh…put the kettle on.”

Spencer registered Luke’s voice from the other room but he didn’t process his words. Stepping into his bedroom and once again catching the woman glaring at him from the mirror over the bureau, he was lost to his own world. 

Ask me how I did it. Come on, ask me. 

How did you do it? 

I had Lindsey dose you in Mexico. You lost time. And I gave her very specific instructions to get you in the mood. 

You’re lying. That didn’t happen. 

Why would I lie to you, Spencie? I’m many things, but a liar isn’t one of them. 

He spun away from the mirror, rage pulsing through every one of his veins. She had to be lying, she couldn’t have done that to him. Even by Cat’s standards that had to be too far. 

But what if she wasn’t lying? He was missing such a large chunk of time from that Mexican hotel, he would probably never be able to piece together what had happened to him. Cat’s baby may not be his, but that’s not to say Lindsey hadn’t assaulted him while he’d been drugged. 

No. It’s not true. Even you wouldn’t stoop so low. 

I wanted to hurt you worse than you’ve been before. I’d stop at nothing to destroy you, Spencer. 

“No, no. Couldn’t have happened. Wouldn’t have happened.” He started to pace, ignoring the discarded clothing on the floor. 

His skin started to itch and he felt unfathomably dirty all of a sudden. He unbuttoned the cuff of his shirt and forced his sleeve up to his elbow, scratching the skin of his forearm to relieve some tension. It didn’t work. He felt like his skin was boiling, like it might melt off of his body. He wasn’t clean. If what Cat said was true he might never be clean again. 

Y

“Dirty. Dirty. I’m unclean. I’m filthy.” His feet led him to the bathroom without realising where he was going. 

Once in the bathroom he turned on the shower and without bothering to get undressed he climbed into the tub and sat under the flow of water. It cascaded around him, soaking through his shirt and slacks in no time at all. He pulled his legs to his chest and hugged his knees. 

“Unclean. I’m so unclean.” He mumbled against the sodden fabric of his pants. 

He kept muttering to himself, hoping the water would cleanse of him whatever Lindsey did or didn’t do to him in Mexico. He was so caught up in his battle with the voices in his head he forgot Luke’s presence in his apartment and didn’t hear him calling for him. He didn’t hear the door creak open or the footsteps on the linoleum floor. 

When Luke pulled back the shower curtain, he covered his eyes with one hand, not wanting to deliberately see Spencer naked in the shower although at any other point in time he would be ok with that outcome. He peaked out between his fingers and found Spencer on the floor of the tub, wet clothes clinging to his frame that appeared so small and fragile as he hugged his legs tightly. 

“I’m unclean.” He spoke, his voice monotone. But Luke knew it wasn’t him he was speaking to. 

Luke felt his heart practically shatter in his chest. It was worse than he thought. So much worse. He wasn’t sure he could handle this on his own. But who would he call? He had to try and step up for Spencer. 

“Spence, buddy. Can you hear me?” 

Spencer stopped mumbling all of a sudden and his eyes shot up to Luke. For the second time that day Luke saw the lack of recognition in his friend's eyes. 

“Spencer, it’s me, Luke. Luke Alvez.” He reached out and switched off the faucet and the water from the shower ceased to fall. 

Spencer resembled a frightened newborn animal, thrust into the world without a clue as to where they came from. His wet hair fell in his eyes and his white shirt was all but see through. His fingers drummed against his shin and he rocked a little in the tub. 

“Am I…am I clean?” He asked, bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. 

“Yeah man,” Luke sniffed back his anguish. “You’re all clean. Let’s get you dried off.” 

Luke had seen the tapes of the interrogation of Cat Adams after Spencer’s release. He knew what Cat had told him, that she’d had Lindsey sexually assault him while he was under the influence, and it was clear to him that’s what this had to be about. 

If she really did that to him I’ll kill her with my bare hands. Both of them. If he doesn’t come back from this I’ll kill them too. 

Spencer let Luke help him to his feet and out of the tub with little to no protest. He stood in the bathroom, clothes dripping all over the floor but Spencer neither noticed or cared. 

Luke grabbed a towel off of the rail and turned back to Spencer who was staring at the wall, unmoving. He couldn’t let Spencer stay in these wet clothes, he had to undress him. 

This is so not how I pictured this happening. 

“Spencer, you with me?” Luke asked, standing in his line of sight. 

Spencer didn’t speak, but he nodded his head a little. 

“Ok, good. I’m gonna have to get you out of these clothes ok?” 

Again Spencer simply nodded in reply. 

Luke sighed as he stepped forward and brought his slightly shaking hands up to the top button of Spencer’s shirt. He started slowly popping the buttons, peeling the wet fabric away from Spencer’s skin, untucking it from his pants and finally discarding it on the edge of the bath. 

His bandage on his knuckles was sodden, Luke would have to find a first aid kit and redress his wound. But one problem at a time. 

He wrapped the towel around Spencer’s shoulders, keeping his eyes averted and not letting himself look at Spencer’s exposed torso for longer than necessary. He wanted to look, but it would feel like taking advantage of him. Spencer was more vulnerable than he’d ever been and Luke wasn’t abusing his trust. 

Once the towel was secured around his shoulders, Spencer surprised him by raising his arms and gripping the edge of the downy fabric, keeping it tightly around himself. Luke smiled a little to himself, it was at least some kind of progress. 

“Can you hear me, Spencer? I’m going to need to hear your voice.” 

Spencer blinked a few times, still nodding his head. But then he opened his mouth. 

“Yes.” He croaked out. “Yes I can hear you, Luke.” 

Luke had never been so happy to hear his name. He offered Spencer a weak smile in return. 

“Thank you.” He swallowed. “Do you think you can get your pants off while I find you some dry clothes?” 

Spencer narrowed his eyes, clearly trying to process what Luke was saying. He blinked several more times in quick succession. 

“Y-yes.” He nodded again. “Yes. I t-think I can do that.” 

“Good. Great.” Luke encouraged him. “I’ll grab you some clothes, I’ll be right back ok?” 

Spencer nodded, looking down at his lower body as Luke left the room. For some unbeknownst reason, it seemed like an impossible feat ahead of him, more like scaling Mount Everest than the simple act of undressing. Spencer found a lot recently that the usually most effortless of tasks posed themselves as some of the biggest obstacles. Cleaning dirty dishes. Doing laundry. Putting a book away. They’d become mammoth undertakings that he saw as impossible to achieve. 

But Luke was here now. Luke was here and Cat wasn’t. He had to keep reminding himself of that. And Luke had asked him to do this simple task, he could do it for him. 

Just focus. Unbutton the pants. Take them off. It’s not that hard. 

Luke surveyed the scattered clothes on the bedroom floor, trying to spot something comfortable for Spencer to wear. He rummaged around for a while until he found an old pair of checked pyjama pants and a CalTech t-shirt. They weren’t necessarily clean, but they would have to do for now. 

“Spencer?” He called through to the bathroom. “Can I come in?” 

“Hmm.” Was all the response he received. 

Unsure if that meant Spencer was decent or not, he cautiously entered the bathroom again. Spencer’s pants were in a pile on the floor and he dared look at the man, breathing a sigh of relief to see he had the towel wrapped around his waist. He was staring off at the wall, in some kind of trance once again. 

The speed in which Spencer was slipping in and out of the world around him was terrifying. Luke really was in over his head here, he didn’t have experience with this kind of psychosis, if that’s what this was. Maybe it was just extreme exhaustion coupled with extreme trauma. Either way, Luke was not equipped to deal with whatever Spencer was going through. But he wasn’t about to stop trying. 

“Can you get dressed?” He proffered the clothes towards Spencer but the other man didn’t move. 

With a sigh Luke moved closer to him, and when Spencer didn’t show any signs of noticing him, he slipped the shirt over his head. Spencer’s limbs were like a rag doll as Luke worked on getting his arms in the sleeves and Spencer did nothing to help. He smoothed it down so it was covering Spencer’s torso and tried to not dwell on how fucking weird this was. 

Getting his pants on was going to be a little more difficult. And potentially awkward. Luke kneeled down in front of Spencer, wrapping his hand gently around Spencer’s left ankle and guiding it into one leg of the pants. He repeated the movement with the other leg, all the while Spencer stood frozen. 

Standing up and taking the sides of the pants, he pulled them up with him, over Spencer’s calves and thighs until he reached the towel. Luke looked up at the ceiling as he pulled the garment up under the towel, trying to save as much of Spencer’s dignity as he could. Once he had them secured around Spencer’s hips, he got rid of the towel for the younger man. 

“Do you have a first aid kit?” Luke looked at the sopping bandage. 

Spencer’s eyes dilated like they had earlier before shrinking again, like he was trying to focus on something but Luke wasn’t sure what. He didn’t get any other kind of communication from him. Luke sighed to himself and looked around the bathroom. He kept his own first aid kit in a cupboard over the sink. Spencer didn’t have a cupboard over the sink. But there was one under it. 

He moved across the room and crouched down to open the cupboard. To his relief the little kit he was looking for was tucked away inside. He pulled it out and found a bandage inside. He brought it back over to Spencer and the other man didn’t show any signs of registering Luke raising his right hand and carefully unwrapping the wet bandage. 

His knuckles were caked in dried blood so without saying anything he guided Spencer to the sink and turned on the faucet. He held Spencer’s hand under the flow of water, gently brushing the blood from his skin with his thumb. Once his hand was clean he used a towel to dab his hand dry before reapplying the new bandage. The whole time Spencer didn’t look at him, didn’t move. 

He secured the bandage and looked back up to meet Spencer’s eye which was harder than it should have been. 

“When was the last time you ate?” Luke asked him softly. 

Once again Spencer was looking at him but his gaze went through him. He shrugged his shoulders. 

“Are you hungry?” He tried again and was met by a shake of Spencer’s head. 

“Tired?” 

This time Spencer nodded. 

“Ok, I can put you to bed?” 

Again Spencer nodded, but he didn’t move. Luke had to try and pretend this whole situation wasn’t entirely breaking his heart. He had to keep his emotions at bay, tell himself this wasn’t killing him to see Spencer like this otherwise he wouldn’t be able to get through this. And Spencer needed him to be strong right now. 

He wrapped an arm around Spencer’s waist and Spencer seemed to deflate in an instant. His body crumpled against Luke’s, his entire weight being held up solely by Luke’s strong arms. Luke slowly started towards the bed, Spencer’s feet dragging along the floor like he physically didn’t have the energy left to lift his legs. 

Luke guided him onto the bed and when he let go of the younger man, he caved in on himself, flopping to the mattress where Luke had set him down. With a heavy heart, he took Spencer’s feet and swung them up onto the bed. He located the duvet, briefly noting the coffee he’d made on the bureau and making a mental note to clear it away, before draping the sheet over Spencer still form. 

He was curled on his side, eyes still open, staring straight ahead at the opposite wall. Luke couldn’t help but crouch next to the bed and stroke Spencer’s wet hair back off of his face. When he went to pull away he was startled by Spencer grabbing his wrist. 

His long, slender fingers wrapped around him, his eyes suddenly staring right at him. He looked as if he had so much to say but didn’t know how to voice it. Luke tried to encourage him without the use of words. This time there was no doubt in his mind as to whether or not Spencer recognised him. It was the clearest he’d looked at Luke since he’d found him in the bathroom at the BAU. Spencer knew who he was. A little piece of him was coming back. 

“Are you leaving?” Spencer’s voice sounded hollow, distant and so unlike himself. 

“I was going to let you get some rest. But I can come back tomorrow if you’d like?” Luke’s hand was still on Spencer’s forehead, being held in place by Spencer’s grip on his wrist. 

“Don’t leave me alone.” He whispered. “Don’t leave me alone with her.” 

Luke wasn’t sure if the her he referred to was Cat or Lindsey but it didn’t particularly matter. There was no way on earth Luke was going to let Spencer be alone if he didn’t want to be. He was going to be here for as long as Spencer needed or wanted him to be. 

Spencer let go of Luke’s wrist as if testing the waters to see if he would leave. Luke stroked back the rest of his hair and smiled softly at the terrified looking man in front of him. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” He assured him. “Get some rest, I’ll be right out there.” He nodded his head towards the door, but Spencer was shaking his head. 

“No.” He whimpered. “No, she can still get to me when you’re gone.” 

Luke felt a sharp pang in his chest, his heart breaking even further at the sad, pathetic tone in Spencer’s voice. 

“What would you like me to do, Spencer? I’ll do anything you need me to.”

Spencer rolled his bottom lip between his teeth as though contemplating this for a moment or two. Then he heaved a pent up sigh and slowly rolled over a little, patting the now free space on the mattress with his bandaged hand. 

“Lay with me?” He sniffed, and that’s when Luke noticed the tears behind his eyes. “Please. Please don’t go.” 

It was hard to say exactly how many pieces Luke’s heart was shattered into at this point. Every bone in his body, every muscle, ached for the torment that must be going on in Spencer’s head. 

“Ok. I can do that.” Luke gave him a slightly shaky smile. 

When he stood back up, Spencer whined a little but Luke offered him a look to tell him he wasn’t leaving. He shrugged off his jacket and toed off his boots before lowering himself to the bed in the small space Spencer had created for him. He swung his legs up, settling his head back against the pillow. 

As soon as he was settled Spencer quickly shuffled as close as was physically possible to Luke, his head coming to rest on Luke’s chest, nuzzling himself into Luke’s side. 

An ear piercing sob wracked Spencer’s whole body and he buried his head into the fabric of Luke’s t-shirt. Luke wrapped Spencer in his arms, pulling him impossibly closer. He ran his fingers through Spencer’s wet and tangled hair and held him while he sobbed, imagining they were the first tears he’d let escape since his release. He clutched Luke’s shirt, balling the material up in his hand furiously. 

“It’s ok cariño, I’m here. It’s ok.” He cooed, rocking Spencer slightly. 

“Will it ever get better? Will she ever leave?” Spencer’s muffled sobs were hard to make out but Luke got the gist of it. 

“I promise you it will get better. If it’s the last thing I do, I will help you through this, Spencer.” 

Spencer became incoherent after that, crying and mumbling into Luke’s chest while Luke held him and tried to provide a little semblance of comfort to the man who needed it so much. 

Hours seemed to pass and at one point Luke worried he may never stop crying. But eventually he wore himself out, or ran out of tears or maybe even both. His breathing started to calm, evening out slowly until his body went limp in Luke’s arms. 

Luke didn’t expect Spencer would have a peaceful night's sleep, but it just might be restful enough for him to garner the energy to fight his demons another day. 

***

Spencer’s eyes fluttered and he grumbled at the slight dull ache in the back of his head. He was used to waking up with a headache, that was a side effect of all the pent up emotions and thoughts he refused to let win. 

But today was different. It wasn’t the typical excruciating pain he was used to waking up with, the kind no amount of Advil could tame. It was just a dull throb, relatively minor. He could definitely deal with that. 

It took him a moment or two to realise that his pillow beneath his head was significantly harder than he remembered it being. He forced his eyes open, rubbed them with one hand and blinked a few times. 

He shuffled a little, trying to find a comfortable spot but it was like his pillow had been replaced by…

“Morning, Reid.” 

Spencer swallowed thickly as his eyes looked up into those of Luke Alvez. The pillow beneath his head, not a pillow at all, but Luke’s rock hard chest. 

It was then Spencer realised his right leg was draped over Luke’s and his arm was wrapped around Luke’s waist. 

Luke’s cheeks were flushed red as he looked down at the younger man using him as a life sized stuffed animal. Spencer blinked a few more times, trying to remember how he’d ended up here, in the arms of the one man he’d always wanted to find in his bed. 

“Uh…hi?” Spencer croaked, his confusion written all over his face. He didn’t move though, he wasn’t sure why other than the fact being in Luke’s arms was warm and he felt safe. “Did I drink last night?” 

“No.” Luke chuckled sadly, bringing his hand up to Spencer’s face and brushing back his unruly curls from his forehead. “You don’t remember?”

“No.” Spencer swallowed again. “I think that…maybe it’s best that I don’t. At least right now anyway.” 

“Why’s that?” Luke kept stroking his hair and Spencer adored the way it felt. 

“Because,” Spencer smiled a little, the tiniest movement of his lip but it was more than Luke had seen in a long time. “For the first time since I left prison, I feel light. And I don’t want that to go away just yet.” 

“Fair enough.” Luke smiled back at him, fingertips grazing down from his forehead, down his cheek and jaw until he let it fall to his side. “We will have to talk about it though.” 

“I know.” Spencer nodded, dreading what he could have gotten himself into to end up here. “But for now, can we just stay like this? Just a little longer?” 

“Of course we can.” Luke agreed. 

Spencer settled back onto Luke’s chest and Luke held him tightly. Spencer didn’t know how he’d ended up here but it was the best thing that could have happened to him. For the first time in months, Spencer Reid felt safe. He felt calm, like just for a moment his demons were silenced by the strong arms of Luke. It wouldn’t last, he was sure of it, but that didn’t matter right now. All that he cared about in that moment was how unburdened he felt for the first time since Mexico, since Cat Adams and Lindsey Vaughn. Maybe even for the first time ever. 

Chances were it would pass, like most good things in his life. But for now Spencer was going to relish in the peace and quiet for as long as it lasted. Here in Luke’s arms he was safe from harm, protected from the wicked clutches of Cat Adams and all the other evils of the world. Luke Alvez was Spencer’s guardian angel, that he was sure of. 

The two men laid in silence for some time, Luke’s hand languidly stroking Spencer’s hair while Spencer concentrated on the rhythmic beating of Luke’s heart. 

Eventually, a sigh escaped Luke’s lips and his hand stilled on the back of Spencer’s neck. 

“You know you need to get help right? The professional kind.” He spoke in hushed tones, not wanting to startle the younger man. 

“Yeah I know.” Spencer’s voice trembled. “But Luke?” Spencer shifted in his arms so he could look up at Luke through watery eyes. 

“Yes, Spencer?” 

“I don’t know if I can…if I can do it alone.” He swallowed thickly, his eyes pleading Luke to never leave him. 

Luke smiled at him and couldn’t stop himself when he bowed his head and placed a tender kiss on Spencer’s forehead. 

He’d known from the moment he met Spencer that he’d do just about anything for this man. That had never changed, he’d never wavered from his belief that he would protect this creature with his life. If anything, at that moment, he was even more sure of that fact. If Spencer Reid needed him, he could have him, in any capacity. 

Spencer’s lips twitched into a smile at the sensation of Luke’s lips pressing against his fragile skin. When Luke pulled away, he saw a light behind Spencer’s eyes he hadn’t seen since before his arrest. 

He had a long way to go, huge mountains left to climb. But he’d take it one day at a time, and Luke would be there for him every painful step of the way. 

“You’ll never be alone, Spencer.” He whispered, cupping the other man’s jaw lightly in his palm. “I promise you, you’ll never be alone again.” 

Spencer’s tears overflowed at the sentiment as he nodded his head in understanding. He had a long, dark road ahead of him, but as long as Luke Alvez was the light guiding his way, the shadows lining his path didn’t seem quite as formidable as they did yesterday. 

Taglist

@andiebeaword @muffin-cup @takeyourleap-of-faith @thebloomingeagle @dirtytissuebox @smurphyse @ssa-uglywhore27 @reidselle @reidsbookclub @drayshadow @dreatine

[smillingcartoonist]

He is getting abducted by Spirits, She is getting possessed by Aliens (Dandadan)

Dandadan is a manga Written and draw by Tatsu Yukinobu, the story follows Momo Ayase and Takekura Ken, Nickname Okarun and called that the entire time (I honestly forget that is not is actual name) in their paranatural adventures, having more of an episodic arc structure, the main thread of plot is finding Okarun missing genitals !!!

In mine opinion, this one of the few recent mangas that are worthy of following, not that is a lot out there that is worthy the time any way, Dandadan is funny, action packed, gorgeously draw, it have a great characters, an interesting story, and it's a bit too tear jerky at times, honestly everything that you could ask in a comic, too bad it's first chapter fucking sucks !!!

I never seen this before, a comic with a really bad start and then the rest of it's pretty good actually, normally it's the inverse, it's start strong then it goes to shit, I found that MamaYuyu had this problem, it's first chapter being really promise then it quickly devolve into generic shounen stuff, maybe it was mistake to have such high hopes for it !!

But what' so bad about it ? well it's more the direction that it seem to go on after the chapter. The Story of Dandadan begins with a bad taste in my mouth at least, Momo and Okarun first meeting end on a dare to each, to each other prove that aliens and spritis are real, Okarun dares Momo to got to an Alien abduction hot spot, Momo dares Okarun to go to a spirit sighting hot spot, the both of them encounter said creatures, Okarun meet with the 100 km/h hag (Or Turbo Granny as it knows in the manga) that offers to suck his dick if he suck her tits, Momo meets the Serpo, odd looking aliens that abducted her and want to extract her genitals... so well, she gets nearly raped there, she is saved because her psychic powers awake there, and a possessed Okarun also appears through her cellphone, the spaceship that they are in crashes, Momo and Okarun escape, The turbo Granny that was possessing Okarun said that stole his genitals and dares Momo to get them back, giving the main thread of plot of the series.

After reading the first chapter I Thought "well that was crap, shame it's really well draw" I think i cut down a huge chunk of the stupid of it all in that resume, it's really bad, here it have another run of the mill shounen with more thoughtless ecchi elements to appeal to creeps, why would I lose my time on this ?? so I back out of it, well not really something compelled me to go back and read the rest, maybe it was the art !! well I do that. Second chapter follow the aftermath of happen, Okarun still possessed by the Turbo granny, Momo discovers that she can use her powers to contain the possession briefly, and it's kind of debt of help him out of the possession, returning to her home, both of them are attack by another alien that transport them to some pocket dimension, Okarun manages to control the powers of the turbo granny, even if briefly, so the both of them work together to defeat the alien. Well that was much better, and no ecchi shit !!! that's a big improvement !!

Fortunately the Manga continues this trough line, ending it's first arc with the defeat of the turbo granny, not really tho, she get stuck possessing a small cat doll for the rest of manga, and the return of Okarun genitals, not really tho, his mast is back back his balls still missing, as he puts it, and that continues the series as Okarun and Momo search for his balls, turned into golden magic balls, that contain the rest of the Turbo Granny powers. Other of the main Characters are introduce as well, such as Saeko, Momo Grandmother, Aira a smug and self important popular girl that quickly creates an aversion to Ayase and gets powers just like Okarun, Jiji (Enjoji actually, I forget that is his actual name) Momo childhood friend and the shrimp Mantis, an alien (That all you need to know)

But those the cringe elements from the first chapter get back, well yes, certainly there are some more cringy moments that come off more endearing then the first chapter, the third arc, has Momo Aira and Okarun fighting in a pocket dimension in their school while the place is slowly being submerge in water, Okarun end up naked for one reason and another and both of the girls are in underwear by the end of it, all that is not a sleaze as it sound, Tatsu manages to do all that without being all showy about it, or I'm to forgive because I like this comic at this point, no, it those all that and it's not an embarrassing ecchi cringe fest ! There is a running visual gag were Aira continue to block the view of her panties while she fights, that come off from Tatsu previous work, an oneshot where we have a giant girl fighting some kaiju while trying not to show her panties, is that joke stretch into 50 pages or something, he does a panties shot at some point In Dandadan and is rather hilarious.

Most of the comic centers around the dorky romance between Okarun and Momo, developing from silly encounter to silly encounter to Jealously of each other for literally anything, to genuine caring for each other, Okarun would jump in front of a bullet for Ayase as just she would for him, it is something that made scream "just kiss already" multiple times while reading this.

Of course I should point out Tatsu Yukinobu talent here, he is indeed an amazing artist clearly one the most visually interesting out there, not only does he have this clean art style, but he does manage to create incredible actions sequences, something that not a lot of mangakas out there can do it. And not to mention the certain bizarre horror imagery that he can create, most of it steam from references from pop culture with a Junji Ito flait to it, I mean if you gonna do horror then why not just use the most recognizable guy in business, and Tatsu does really emulate him well, creating the same uncanny imagery that Ito does.

I would say that one of it's major weakness is a lack of general direction to where the story is going, at the point that its is now we have that, but most of this comic is going from one situation to another without any major build up to anything, there is one at some point but barely comes ever again and I do wonder if Tatsu even remembers about it !!

There is an anime adaptation coming this October, I'm sure it be the same success that Dungeon Meshi was this year, I mean have you seen the type of stuff that is put out these days, it's a endless stream of boring isekai and pathetic harem anime target to incels, so it's no wonder when stuff like Chainsaw Man and Dungeon Meshi surge, it makes a bunch of success !! Dandadan I'm sure will be the same, I do wonder what the reaction of the first episode is gonna be like.

[sitp-recs]

Hi! Thanks so much for this blog -- I have discovered many gems from your recs and it gives me so much joy. I was wondering if you could rec Draco redemption arc fics that actually grapple with Draco's bigoted beliefs as portrayed in the books. Also where Harry justifiably does not have a good opinion of him to begin with and is dealing with his own trauma. Basically, looking for in-character depictions. Best examples of this I have come across are lettered's fics. Thank you! <3

Hello there! I’m so happy the blog brings you joy <3 hmm I haven’t read the books in ages so I’m probably not the best source for recs with “in-character depictions”. I think Lettered’s By the Grace is the best fit for your request but I’m assuming you’ve read it already, so here are some other suggestions you might enjoy:

Reparo by amalin (2008, E, 84k)

Voldemort's final defeat does not mean Harry Potter's troubles are over; far from it. In the aftermath of war, he returns to a Hogwarts that is fractured and divided, but this is no break that can be fixed with a spell. New owls, fading scars, surprising alliances—and along the way, the hardest task of all, to live with it.

Temptation on the Warfront by alizarincrims0n (2015, E, 180k)

Draco Malfoy is forced into hiding with the Golden Trio and dragged into their search for horcruxes. What ensues is a journey of redemption, unexpected friendships and an unwanted, turbulent romance with Harry Potter. Warnings for swearing, sexual content, and dark themes.

Eclipse by Mijan (2003, T, 287k)

Draco swore his revenge on Harry for Lucius's imprisonment, and Harry all but laughed at him. But Draco is planning more than schoolyard pranks this time. The old rivalry turns deadly when Draco abducts Harry for Voldemort. It's the perfect plan, guaranteeing revenge, power, and prestige, all in one blow. But when Draco's world turns upside down, the fight to save himself and Harry begins, and the battle will take them both through hell and back. If they come back.

Faith series by jad (2012, E, WIP)

Four years after Dumbledore's death, Draco Malfoy shows up on the doorstep of number twelve, Grimmauld Place looking for Harry Potter. Torn between his own self-preservation and his family's pride, Draco finds himself alone on a battlefield and has nowhere else to turn; and Harry has to learn that sometimes you don't put up walls to keep other people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

[themusicsweetly]

If done well bk 6, ABOSAA has a lot of potential, meaty and memorable moments for Claire/Cait. Which stories do you think are most important and most amazing chances for Cait to go all out and show her acting chops. She mentioned already reading bk 6. I'm hoping she'll choose all her key Claire moments and have strong impact in how Claire is written, her dialogues, inclusion of POV which are key in certain parts and direction of those key episode involving her. Perfect time to also direct.

Hello there, Anon! Thanks for the great ask!! Again, so sorry I’m late on answering this and other asks, but I wanted to make sure I had the time to write as thoughtful a response as possible.

To say that I’m excited for Season 6 and the ABOSAA adaption is the biggest understatement ever! That is hands-down my favorite of all the books so far because of Claire’s harrowing, heartbreaking, incredible storylines and how she comes out of it (together with Jamie) broken and yet stronger than ever. 

To be honest, I think this is going to be even bigger than “Faith” (2x07); like that episode on steroids because it’ll be much longer than just one episode. There are definitely two main arcs for Claire in ABOSSA, but the one I’m most looking forward to is the kidnapping. When I got to Part IV and saw that it was titled “Abduction” I remember tweeting that I nearly threw my book out the F’ing window because I knew it was going to be incredibly good, but also incredibly painful to read. The confrontation at the whisky shed with Marsali. The actual kidnapping and journey. The scary and heartbreaking nights that she spent with the men. The daring and bloody rescue. Even the smaller details like Claire patching one of her kidnappers up! There’s just so much meat there. Caitriona will have so much to work with, but also be able to bring so many of her own signature subtleties to it that it will bring this book to a whole other level. I can see those amazing facial expressions of hers working overtime for this season!

While I think it’s incorrect to say that Caitriona will be able to “choose” what gets included — she’s not a writer, after all — I’m hoping that her (and Sam’s) new position as Producers can help narrow down and place importance on the scenes and moments that she really wants included. I know she’s been able to sway the writers into including or excluding certain things in an ep before when she was really passionate about something, so hopefully as a Producer / Cast her word now will have even more weight. A part I hope and feel she would want to focus on, as interesting as the action-y part of the kidnapping arc is, is Claire’s recovery from that time as well. Much like in Faith, we spent time with her dealing with the aftermath and emotions of her ordeal. With Jamie there this time to help her through it, it should be very impactful.

I don’t think that Caitriona will direct that season, mainly because it will be just that much more work for her. I think, like Season 1, it will (hopefully!) be a very Claire intense season where she will be in the majority of scenes. She’s mentioned before that that’s one of the things that holds her back from wanting to direct an episode / block of Outlander. Add to that her other responsibilities as a Producer, that would be just a maddeningly heavy workload. I would LOVE to see her in that director’s chair someday though! I truly think her vision of things would bring something new and beautiful to the screen.

Basically, if done right, Season 6 may FINALLY be the time where Caitriona gets not only nominated for a Golden Globe (and hopefully an Emmy!!!) but wins it as well! I cannot wait to see this BAMF in action!

[n1ko-whoisdefinatelynotacat]

-Welcome to the physical abnormalities club™-

Spawn of Satan: N I K O

Too much yellow: W H A T

Spawn of Satan: WHERE THE HELL DID YOU G O

Too much yellow: O U T S I D E

Spawn of Satan: Okay, no shit. W h e r e outside?

Too much yellow: It’s not important.

Spawn of Satan: On the contrary I’d say it’s very important???

-2 minutes later-

Spawn of Satan: Okay seriously where are you

-5 minutes later-

Spawn of Satan: Niko I swear to god.

-3 minutes later-

Spawn of Satan: YOU STILL HAVE READ RECEIPTS ON I KNOW YOU’RE SEEING THESE

-7 minutes later-

Spawn of Satan: NIKO ANSWER YOUR PHONE

————————————————————————

They glanced down at the most recent text from Rizu, and shook their head, turning off the phone and sticking it in their bag.

They wanted to practice something without them all hovering over their head as they did so.

It was fine. They really hadn’t gone far, and they would make sure to record if anything happened.

They were fine.

[n1ko-whoisdefinatelynotacat]

-Short Solidarity™-

I’m 5’2 and will destroy you: Heyyyy so…

If you think I'm short check out my girlfriends patience: Oh god what did you do?

I’m 5’2 and will destroy you: I didn’t do anything!

If you think I'm short check out my girlfriends patience: Okay, then what is this about??

I’m 5’2 and will destroy you: Apparently a side effect of the power-up Niko got is that they now glow when they sleep??

*Image sent*

If you think I'm short check out my girlfriends patience: Oh my god

I’m 5’2 and will destroy you: They’re a natural night light!!

If you think I'm short check out my girlfriends patience: Wait do you think [Redacted] glows when he’s asleep too?

I’m 5’2 and will destroy you: [Redacted] is always glowing.

If you think I'm short check out my girlfriends patience: Touché.

[n1ko-whoisdefinatelynotacat]

They didn’t think they should feel nervous about this. It was just their da- just [Redacted]. They were just trying to make sure he was okay.

“Hey, [Redacted]? Can we talk??”

[Redacted] glanced up. He’d been reading, and clearly struggling just a little to balance the book, with it now sitting on the table in front of it.

“[Of course bud. What’d you need to talk about?]”

They sighed, and fidgeted with their hand.

“A couple things…”

They sat down. These were some more heavy topics, and they wanted to pay attention.

“Uhm… is… is the fact that you only have one arm now going to mess with your spell casting?”

[Redacted] blinked, clearly a little surprised. If they could see its face, they were sure their expression would be one of light shock. He shut the book, and sighed.

“[It will not, for the most part.]”

He held up their right hand, and a little light shone from it.

“[Despite the way it appears, my arms and hands have never been catalysts for my magic. In a sense, it’s my whole body. Sure, some more precise things involving small details may take me time to master again, but I’ll be able to spell cast just as I could before.]”

They nodded. Then they continued.

“Okay… so if we do go to your home world and get you a robotic arm, would you be able to channel magic through it..?”

“[Theoretically I could. The star strikers managed to perfect their own cybernetic physical forms to cast magic, so I don’t see why this would be any different.]”

[Redacted] tilted his head, just a bit.

“[That’s not all you had to ask. Is it..?]”

They shook their head.

“When you… died. After we got you away from all the fighting, and then I starting glowing. Did… you cause that? Are you why I have more light magic? I’ve kind of assumed you are, but I want to ask.”

“[…]”

[Redacted] sighed, and then looked back up at them

“[In a sense. When I died, I ended up in limbo again. Just as I had the first time. But… my species patron deity was there instead of who I thought would be.]”

Their eyes widened. An encounter with a god would explain how [Redacted] came back. But what did this have to do with their new magical abilities?

“[They told me I wasn’t done, and somehow they knew I had a request. And I did.]”

“[I… asked them to grant you light magic like I could wield. And they did.]”

They gasped quietly. This made sense. A deal with a god would be a logical answer to their new magic.

“[I’m not entirely sure about some of the magic you’ll come to posses. There are two powers I have that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone, and it’s also possible your entire being will become connected to light magic just like mine. But I really don’t know.]”

They nodded. They went to ask another question, when suddenly their phone went off.

They glanced down at it, and immediately felt a surge of panic. [Redacted] must have seen how they reacted, because they were already asking “[What’s going on?! What is it?]”

“…”

There, on their screen.

-connection to [The World Machine] terminated. Attempting reboot…-

[n1ko-whoisdefinatelynotacat]

-Surprise! We’re all adopted.-

Sir-ma’am this is a Wendy’s please stop glowing: Hey have you guys also noticed how weird [Redacted] is acting??

Resident gremlin: Yeah I have. They keep grabbing its head??

I am the drama: They keep muttering too

Medical bills: Maybe he has a migraine?

Sir-ma’am this is a Wendy’s please stop glowing: Did you guys also notice how his weird light aura thing keeps changing color? Like usually it fluctuates a little but it keeps going from like orange to freaking blue?

Medical bills: yeah it’s weird.

I am the drama: Maybe we need to ask them.

Resident Gremlin: We should probably wait though, given how he keeps having to cover their ears.

[for-some-reason-i-can-hold-light]

He didn't typically let these two aspects of their magic be active. He'd known since a young age that he needed to maintain the protection spells he had to keep these parts of its magic in check. He supposed if Aura had done anything good for them, it was this.

Still, when they weren't in a good emotional state, it was hard to keep these aspects of their magic in check.

He didn’t like these abilities. It felt like they were a violation of other’s privacy. Their thoughts and emotions were theirs to keep for themselves, and he didn’t want to have access to them.

This was why he’d worked so hard to perfect the protection spells he’d been taught. They blocked out the thoughts of other people. They made sure the only emotions he felt were its own.

When the anxiety got to be too much, it didn’t help that he couldn’t maintain their protection magic. That just made it so too much was happening in their head.

He just wanted it to quiet down.

[for-some-reason-i-can-hold-light]

Never had he been so appreciative that Asa, Sage, and Rizu usually shared a room. Because lucky for them, this meant he had an empty guest room he could hide in if needed.

He didn’t really want to be alone, but at the same time he wasn’t ready to break down in front of any of them. They were struggling enough as it is, he could deal with this alone.

He moved to cover its face, and froze.

“Don’t cry, calm down. Calm down.”

He was trying to keep quiet. He didn’t need the others to watch them have a panic attack. He could deal with this. He was going to be fine.

There it was again, that sharp stabbing pain. He didn’t understand. How could something that wasn’t there anymore hurt? He bit his lip, and after a moment tasted blood.

It still felt like it was there. He didn’t understand how. It was gone. He could see it was gone, he knew it was gone. So why did it feel like it wasn’t?

He forced back the sob that threatened to escape its throat.

Don’t cry.

[for-some-reason-i-can-hold-light]

"Yes, exactly like that. You're doing great."

Of all the things [Redacted] thought he was going to be doing, teaching Niko how to turn themself invisible had never been on the list. But here they were.

"Okay... what do I do now?"

They were standing there, glowing somewhat, seeming a little nervous. But they were trying, and that was good.

"Maybe... think of it like wrapping yourself in a blanket. It's what I typically think of. It may not be what works for you, but it's a start."

They nodded, and after a moment, they disappeared from view.

He started counting. 1... 2... 3... 4-

And they came back into view.

"Dang it!"

They seemed disappointed. That was expected.

"It's alright. This will take time. It took me several years to manage holding the spell for longer than an hour. And I was self taught. You have a teacher."

They nodded, seeming to be in better spirits now.

"Alright, let's try this again."

[for-some-reason-i-can-hold-light]

-Actor vs the one who at one point wanted to act-

Wannabe actor: Have they founs them yet?

Actual actor: Not yet. They said they’re getting close though.

Actual actor: Also you’re getting better at typing one handed!

Wannabe actor: Proppinh the phone helps

Actual actor: Yeah that’s fair.

Actual actor: I’ll keep you updated on what’s happening.

Wannabe actor: Thanks.

[n1ko-whoisdefinatelynotacat]

...Is Niko okay?

We’re still looking for them. Not much luck yet.

Sage has been messaging [Redacted] since he can usually tell where they are, and matching that up with the notifications on our phones.

She also stayed behind in case they came back before the two us found them. Hopefully we find them soon though.