#Gods holy fuck today is awful on the PTSD

[monstrancemorality]

Being anti-war, lowkey an anarchist (it's complicated and I will Not be explaining that rn), scared of veterans, and currently seething when the government is mentioned because of the infringement of mine and other's rights whilst watching your school set up the Veteran's day program is kinda .

I feel like I infiltrated an enemy meeting wth...

In all seriousness, I do respect veterans, maybe for the wrong reasons, but I do. I respect them for the things they dealt with in service: the trauma, the abuse, the complete wreckage of a normal life.

The government shouldn't have to put people through any of the things they do, and I feel sorry for the people who still think war is necessary in any situation, and think being a soldier is an honor. It's glorified abuse in a uniform, the least the government could do is offer paid retirement, cover good therapy for the PTSD, cover physical therapy if needed, and housing until veterans are on their feet.

I will always salute veterans, I grew up on a base and around soldiers my whole life: I was raised one. I cannot imagine what they went through on the field and how it felt for them compared to the little bit I went through. Fuck that damn flag, the pledge, and the damn people running this hell hole. I wish all veterans a happy Veteran's Day, and I hope you understand that I respect you for the wrong reasons but my heart still aches for you.

[velvetwarfare]

for as much crack shit I post about my dnd cos group it’s mainly because if we DIDN’T insert awful jokes and actions, it would be incredibly fucked up and depressing all around HFHGJVB

so far we got uhhh

- Beth: Had her entire vardo slaughtered by her vampire lord, was bitten and turned into a nosferatu ✨ for funsies by him ✨ , constantly poked at by him, he then proceeds to slaughter another Vistani village after she got close to them and killed our past wizard, witnessed UNFATHOMABLE gore in the fog, had her first love interest tortured and kidnapped (then killed by the opposing vampire army to be set against us) , betrayed her original oath and the God’s sentient sword seppuku’d her as a fuck you. Desperate to redeem Cassandra (Strahd) before it’s too late. the most damaged punching bag here HFHFHCBV

- Oren: Our second cinnamon bun. A changeling who cannot remember at all who she is. Changes into other people to feel ANY familiarity. Her father(?) was Beth’s first love interest — who likely no longer remembers her or has to kill her now due to being on the opposite faction. Her love interest was a warforge that got torn to absolute pieces by Beth’s vampire lord when he ambushed the masquerade and put Ireena in a comatose state.

- Yona: Our detective satyr. Her descendants were the closest to killing Cassandra (Strahd). So naturally, this crack shit demon blackmails her innocent ass into signing a contract to murder Cass herself or he’ll let the party die in the future. She literally just wants to find her family. Is constantly going through a crisis because she knows how attached Beth is to Cass already and really doesn’t want to both murder her and butcher the bond she has with Beth.

- Nova: Our first cinnamon bun. A himbo half elf. God bless this bard because holy shit do we need his vibes — that are slowly faltering after everything. Aldo just wants to find his family. The love interest of Ireena — and had to watch her get fucked over by Beth’s vampire lord. Has been hellbent on trying to reverse the feeble minded state. Just wants his damn girlfriend back.

- Morian: This dwarf dude who got such a hard bonk on his head that it both gave him amnesia, ptsd, and he can only speak in grumbles. Dude gets ptsd attacks and cannot decipher between reality and past. Starts genuinely speaking common and calling all of us some names he remembers from his past from his family. He lost all of his family.

- Elias: Centaur war horse. His lover was torn apart and he only has his hand left. Has been desperately trying to revive him. It’s not going well. He carries around this hand. Also hellbent on helping Ireena as part of the royal guard.

- Cass, so far of what we know, heavily homebrewed: Her fiance (Tatyana) was murdered in front of her. They supposedly had a child, but the child’s whereabouts are unknown. Literally has her child’s drawings pinned to her dorm’s walls. The court corrupted her with power and took advantage of her lingering humanity to meld her into what she is today. Turned to vampirism to save her people — regrets it. Was once a kind baroness.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #457

“blue are the words i say and what i think  /  blue are the feelings that live inside of me”

Do you buy your lingerie at Victoria’s Secret? No. That shit is so overpriced and not for my size group. Would you ever use an online dating service? I never would again. Are you good at multitasking? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Have you ever eaten Frosted Mini Wheats? Ugh, those are so gross. What does your bikini look like? You think THIS bitch wears a bikini??????????????????????? Does age really matter in a relationship? To an extent, yes. How much does the last person you kissed mean to you? I honestly don't even know if I'd be here without her. Almost like magic, Sara popped back into my life right after I returned home from the hospital following my suicide attempt. She helped make recovery possible as a solid source of support. Do you use lotion? Not NEARLY enough. My skin is so dry; I need to. Do you believe in teenage love? I experienced it deeply and thoroughly, so yes. Have you ever sat on the roof of your house? No. Do you like Sublime? I like that one popular one of theirs. "Santaria" or whatever it's called? What’s your favorite movie genre? Paranormal horror, especially the "found footage" type. It's creepy to imagine it being actually real. Is there a celebrity that you’d be willing to have a one night stand with? If he was single? I know in my gut I would lmaooooo Do you want to live in your current town the rest of your life? OH MY GOD PLEASE NO If you found out today your best friend was gay what would you do? She's demisexual, so. She can like anybody. If you could get a pet for free today-what kind/what name? A tegu, because it wouldn't need an enclosure that I don't have. I'd let it free roam. God, I can only imagine Roman's reaction. How many people have you slept with? If you mean what I think you do by "slept," one. Do you ever wish you had a family business to become a part of? Not really. What’s the most gruesome way you could come up with to kill someone? Hunny, have you seen my dark RP????? The world best be glad I'm a pacifist lmfao Do you think anyone deserves to die that way? I don't believe in torture, so no. If you had to fight for survival, what would your weapon of choice be? A gun, I guess? I'd want something with range and that's quick. I wanted to say a bow and arrow, but preparing another arrow after shooting once could really cost you your life. Where did you buy your favorite pair of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog, period. If not, are you afraid of them? No, I love big 'ole puppos!!!!! I just don't wanna own a dog myself. Are you good at playing darts? Holy fuck no, I have NO hand-eye coordination. I once stabbed the guy at a balloon popping booth thing with a dart in the arm, if that tells you anything, ooooooooooof. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? YESSSSSSSSS omg Do your parents know that/if you smoke? They know that I don’t. Have you ever been under a blacklight? Omg so in elementary school, we did this thing once where we all washed our hands as best we could and then put them under some sort of light (maybe a blacklight, idk???) to see JUST how resilient germs are. You gotta scrub the fuck out ya hands, people. How many pounds do you want to lose? I'd rather not share a number, but a lot. What’s your favorite natural phenomenon? The Northern Lights. Do you snore? Very surprisingly for someone with sleep apnea like mine, I actually don't. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? Off the very top of my head, one, but it's spelled differently. I KNOW I know of a shitload more Brittanys, though. Is it possible you could be pregnant? Well, I haven't been intimate with a man in years and just finished my period, so like- Could you go a day without texting? I go most days without texting. Do you have a step-parent? My dad is remarried, so yes. If so, do you get along with them? She's EXTREMELY Christian, so her beliefs wildly disagree with mine, but I keep my mouth shut a lot just to keep the peace. She IS a very sweet woman, nevertheless, and am glad she and my dad are so happy together. Does your current/last job require that you wear a uniform? My last job (which lasted not even two hours lol) did. When will your driver’s license expire? My permit has been expired for like... two years. Do you live in an apartment? No. If the last person you kissed proposed to you what would you say? That's too wild a concept to even imagine. I'd probably ask if she was okay lmao. Would you ever get back with one of your exes? Weeeelp, I want to get back together with Girt. Pretty badly. Write a foreign word, and what it means: "Schadenfreude" is a German term that essentially means secondhand embarrassment, but it doesn't have a perfect translation. Is there an ex you think about everyday? Inevitably. That's PTSD, my friends. Who is the last person that you said I love you to, besides family members? Sara. What's the worst thing you have ever said to anyone? Something along the lines of "no one could ever love you like I do." It boils my blood just typing that; I considered even deleting this question. That quote right there is fucking manipulation, even IF I thoroughly believed it. Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? I don't feel like looking. Do you tend to go for older or younger when looking for someone to date? It's weird, I'm into slightly older-than-me guys, but probably girls who are barely a bit younger than me. Have you ever been used? I don't think so. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Like I've said in plenty of surveys: Jason is probably a permanent fixture. But also as of the past two days, Girt's been living up there. I went from "hmmm I just don't know how I feel" to "FUCK I want to talk to him about how stupidly into him I am right this fucking INSTANT" pretty goddamn fast. It kinda scares me just because of how extreme my feelings are. Again. That's only ever gotten me hurt. Buuuut let's not get into that. Have you ever got caught cheating on a test? No, because I've never tried to. Will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope it won't be. But it's not like I know the future. Have you ever worn an oxygen mask? Actually yes, when I was young and thought I was having an asthma attack or something. Mom had one for her own asthma. Then I obviously wore one for surgery. What song do you want to be played at your funeral? "Paradise" by Coldplay is absolutely #1. How many swear words are in the song you’re listening to? I'm not listening to music; I'm back to watching Gab play Sekiro. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same sex, and if so, who? Yeah, just Sara. Who did you last tell to ‘shut up’? Ha, I think my WoW friend Lyndsey, but only playfully, of course. We pick fun at each other all the time. Would you ever get a tattoo of a boyfriend/girlfriend's name? NOOOOOOOOO. Are you one of those girls who already have baby names picked out? I know what I'd name my kids IF I actually wanted any, yeah, but I don't. Do you think guys with long hair are attractive? Yessss, I love long hair on guys. Are any of your siblings taller than you? I think Ashley is a liiiiil bit taller? I know my brother is, for sure. Have you ever scared someone so badly that they cried? Yikes, no. When was the last time you wore high heels? Boy oh boy, no idea. Is there someone that you want to hurt right now? Jeez, no thanks. What was the most interesting or colorful birthday cake you’ve had? I don't remember, but I'm sure something from childhood. What was the last thing someone bought you? Was it expensive? Mom bought me food from McD's, which obviously isn't expensive. Do you have any interesting moles anywhere you don’t want people to know of? No. Have you ever gotten high or drunk in a really formal place? Strong "no" there. Do you ever write poetry and post it on any certain websites? On the very rare occasion I write poetry and actually like it, I'll sometimes post it on dA. What do you miss most about your childhood? Actually, genuinely having fun and not dealing with fucking anhedonia. Would you like to know the precise date of your future death? Hell no. Do you photograph well? I'd like to hope so. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? Maggots and similar bug larvae. What super power would you refuse, if it was offered to you, and why? Mind reading. It just sounds... awful and overwhelming. What’s your favorite discontinued product that you wish would come back? Oh, I KNOW I have answers to this, just none are coming to me immediately and I don't feel like sitting here for five minutes thinking about it. If adults had show and tell, what would you bring into work? My snek! :') If you had a reset button for the last 10 years, would you press it? Tempting, but... I don't think I would. I cannot go through how deep my depression was again. Who is someone you would never swear in front of? My nieces and nephew. Yes, I don't believe in profanity being a "thing" and is just a stupid human fabrication, but nevertheless I acknowledge societal standards and expectations, and they're way too young to get when you shouldn't say something like that and why. Have you ever won a contest or competition? A few. Who is your favorite TV character? I don't think I really have one? Do you coo over other people’s babies? Not really, no. Sometimes I'll think they're super cute and be like "awww," but I don't like... squeal and spaz like some people do. What is something that makes you very squeamish? VOMIT. Has there been a celebrity death that really affected you? Steve Irwin got me deeper than anyone else. Chester Bennington hit real hard, too. If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you’re still in school, do you think you will? Most of my closest ones, yes, at least via Facebook. What’s a movie that you want to see? Old movie, but Jacob's Ladder. It was a massive influence on Silent Hill, so naturally, I'll probably love it. It's a classic, anyway. Do you use the same username everywhere online or do you have a lot? I use "Ozzkat" in most places, but I do have some other ones for different sites. Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? My friend Ana recently revealed she's expecting her second child, a boy. What fad were you actually into? I have zero clue. Have you ever tailgated? Would you want to? Fuck no. That's how so many wrecks happen. My sister legit got in a wreck with an 18-wheeler mostly because she was tailgating (which she does BADLY); she was trying to pass, and he moved over at the same time because he couldn't see her coming around. It's a borderline miracle she got out with only some cuts, bruises, and a seatbelt burn. Have patience, people. Get off cars' asses. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? Look, don't get me started on this. There are a shitload of reasons and I have been way too emotional over this the past few days laksdfja;lwke What’s the last thing you had to eat? A bagel w/ cream cheese for breakfast. Do you ever pick up your house phone? We don't have a landline phone. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? Personalities, for sure. I cannot be into you if your personality isn't attractive.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 265: Tamaki What Did You Eat

Previously on BnHA: The heroes began their invasion of the Ol’ Villain Marriott. Down in the basement, Re-Destro was all “what’s going my fresh villain citizens, what a beautiful day, well I guess we should start that meeting” and they were all “WE’RE UNDER FUCKING ATTACK” and he made a face and I laughed. Class 1-B, Edgeshot, and Midnight then jovially killed some people, and then we cut to Dabi and Hawks! Hawks was all “sorry it has to be this way Bubaigawara but I’m gonna have to arrest you” and Twice got all Harry Potter in that one scene from the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, and then he did the thing, and fucking Hawks just fucking stood there and DID NOTHING. So now he’s gonna have to fight 100,000 Twices I guess, and meanwhile Dabi is running up the stairs on his way to intervene and somehow make things even more chaotic. Also either Hawks or Dabi thinks heroes are scum, and I’m still not clear on which. But basically it’s safe to say that angst is on the way, friends.

Today on BnHA: Tamaki turns into a horse. I have questions. Dark Shadow fights fucking Re-Destro and fucking destroys him in like two seconds flat, like holy shit whaaaaat. Then Tokoyami just hops on inside of Fatgum like a goddamn marsupial, and spends several pages like this, during which I completely can’t focus the entire time but I do remember that we learned that Machia won’t be joining the fight because he apparently only listens to Tomura, so that’s convenient I guess. Then we cut to Twice and Hawks (I literally typed out “Dabi and Hawks” just now and had to go back and change it, so you can see where my mind is at), and Hawks defeats Twice and is all “guess I’ve got no choice” and is seriously going to kill him (hahaha what the fuck), but then DABI FUCKING BURNS THE ENTIRE ROOM DOWN WITH EVERYONE IN IT WHILE LAUGHING AND THEN THE CHAPTER JUST ENDS. I feel like I just got slapped in the face.

so before we start, let me just mention that I got a ton of asks and messages about the whole “HERO SCUM” line, and I appreciate everyone keeping me up to date on the twists and turns of our wild little fandom lol. so as you all probably know, in Viz’s translation of the last page they had Dabi saying the line (“Twice, this isn’t your fault. as always... scummy heroes are to blame”). so naturally everyone was either like “whaaaaat!” or “I KNEW IT!!”, but then Caleb went and deleted his original tweet saying that it was Dabi, and replaced it with a new tweet, the gist of which was basically “I don’t fucking know either” and admitting he wasn’t an authority on the matter. so to sum everything up, we basically don’t know and will never know until the anime airs this in about three years’ time, or until the only man who can actually clear this up decides to stop drawing weird mushroom men for five goddamn minutes so he can clarify for us

anyway, so in the meantime it’s time to see who’s having angst this week! probably everybody! let’s just assume it’s everybody and save some time

ohooo so we finally get to see why they had Tamaki and Tokoyami in the vanguard, eh?

(ETA: gotta say, “you” is an awfully impersonal way to address someone whose entire body you are shortly going to stuff inside your little quirk papoose and tote around like a fanny pack.)

honestly this isn’t much of a mystery though lol. Tokoyami is obvious, and with Tamaki it’s probably because of his kraken thing if I had to guess

...excuse me sir is this leading where I think it’s leading

sir. Mister Gum, sir. please do not tell me you are actually about to lead these children into the building and down into the basement. first of all the thought of you and Tamaki in yet another basement is already giving me PTSD so no thanks. and second of all, ???!?!?!?!?! [gestures incredulously to the two children] ?!?!?!???? [emphatically taps my computer screen with the wiki page showing their respective ages] ???!?!?!?!?!?! [gestures wildly toward a picture of Gigantomachia I pulled up just now in a google search. yeah that’s right. Gigantomachia!! you all forgot about him didn’t you!! well guess who didn’t forget about him?? that’s right. so you’d better explain yourself right the fuck now, Fatgum. oh wait I’m still talking in action brackets whoops]

holy crap is Tokoyami giving orders lmao

well look at you. a general, huh? somebody must’ve told them about his little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab

so now some generic villain guys are all “HOW’D THEY FIND OUR SECRET PATH” and “WE MUST DEFEND IT” and I sure can’t wait to watch them get their asses kicked three panels from now

OH LORDY

EVERYONE TAMAKI HAS JUST TURNED INTO A HORSE. I IMMEDIATELY HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS, THE MOST PRESSING OF WHICH ARE (1) WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIS PANTS, AND (2) DOES THIS MEAN TAMAKI ATE A FUCKING HORSE. PLEASE STAY TUNED AS WE URGENTLY INVESTIGATE THESE NEW DEVELOPMENTS

lol and the cow horns too. why though. just completes the look I guess

loooooool he’s all “apologies, but please remain still” who are you, Tuxedo Mask??

LOOOOOOL

by the way, I almost skipped right past this, but the text says Tamaki will be a sidekick at the Fatgum agency starting “next year”, which presumably means “in a couple of weeks because the school year is about to end.” our boy is graduating! I’m so proud, and also really pissed off about Mirio all of a sudden, just throwing that out there. how much longer must his dreams be put on hold. where is the justice. man I need a minute

okay! anyway so now Tokoyami is just running into the basement alone!! hooooo boy. I know it’s dark down there and that’s presumably why they’re sending him of all people, but still. hooooooooo boy

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NO WAY

IS TOKOYAMI GOING TO TAKE ON FUCKING RE-DESTRO AND IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING AND WHY THE FUCK IS NIGHT ON BALD MOUNTAIN SUDDENLY PLAYING

KDSFLK;L’LLL

AM I IN THE RIGHT MANGA. DID DARK SHADOW REALLY JUST GROW NINETY FEET TALL AND START WRESTLING THE SAME FUCKING GUY WHO ALMOST* BROUGHT DOWN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF FUCKING VILLAINS

*except he didn’t, let’s be real. didn’t even come close. but still, on paper the hype looks real good!!

AND DO RE-DESTRO’S ROBOT LEGS SOMEHOW FUCKING CHANGE SIZE ALONG WITH HIM. CHALK ANOTHER ONE UP FOR THE MYSTERY BASKET. PUT YOU RIGHT NEXT TO “BUT FOR REAL THOUGH DID TAMAKI ACTUALLY EAT A FUCKING HORSE”

OOOOOF

LOL DETNERAT’S MERCHANDISE REALLY IS TOTAL SHIT. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE CLASH WITH A GIGANTIC SHADOW DEMON

by the way, check out that one guy in the bottom right corner who just totally doesn’t give the least of fucks. he’s fresh out. he wants to know how much longer this is gonna last so he can go home and get back to playing the new Animal Crossing. did you know they added a new crafting feature. can’t believe he’s stuck here at this boring meeting. this man genuinely doesn’t seem to be at all aware of anything that is currently happening around him and it’s amazing. added to the box of questions

oh man. I don’t quite understand what is happening now but I keep expecting Gigantomachia to just pop up out of nowhere any second and I can’t fucking stand it. Horikoshi please stop showing us these close-ups of destroyed walls

OH GOD OH GOD!!!

(ETA: what a casual fucking line implying that Tokoyami genuinely believed that there was nobody in THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF PLIFF who stood a chance against his latest super move. don’t mind him everyone, he’s just been lowkey biding his time to become the strongest member of class 1-A offscreen while his loser classmates were having dramatic family dinners. how many High Ends could Dark Shadow take out I wonder. why did I suddenly get a mental image of Toko losing an arm only to sigh and nonsensically quote Shakespeare or some shit before wrapping Dark Shadow around the stump and getting back to the asskicking.)

NO TOKO NOT THE ANGRY BALD MAN, HE’S TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE!! OH FUCK OH FUCK

LMAO

:) :) :) can we maybe get my solemn bird son out of this fucking DEATH BASEMENT right the fuck now. can we do that, please

holy shit!?

:) :) :) I can’t decide whether I trust these panels or not. why is he so confident. does this mean Machia really will be sitting out the arc, or is a trap. help

(ETA: I guess it’s okay for now. ... dammit I’m still suspicious sob.)

also, Tokoyami’s “?!” face is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen though. the fact that he’s physically incapable of altering his expressions no matter what is true comedy gold here

NEVER MIND, THOSE WERE THE WORDS OF A CALLOW YOUTH WHO KNEW NOTHING OF TRUE COMEDY GOLD

WHAT A FOOL I WAS. PLEASE PARDON MY IGNORANCE. SO HERE WE HAVE TOKOYAMI’S MONOEXPRESSION BIRD HEAD STICKING OUT OF FATGUM’S JOLLY BELLY FOR NO REASON, WHILE FATGUM IS ALL “DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE WE’RE KICKING TOO MUCH ASS AND SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN”, AND SOME OTHER POOR GUY WITH SCISSORS HANDS IS JUST LYING THERE DEAD IN THE BACKGROUND. MY GOD. I’M IN AWE OF THIS

dfkjkjk oh noooo

“does this young man amuse you,” Horikoshi says as he darkly pencils in the disturbingly concave shadows of Fatgum’s ridiculous fucking quirk. “are his ‘magnificent fellow’ bird antics pleasing for you to watch. I guess it sure would be a shame if I gave him some... angst”

but for real y’all I genuinely can’t take this at all seriously when Tokoyami’s head is still stubbornly and persistently poking its way out of Fatgum like a goddamn baby kangaroo in every fucking panel

we are entering another Tokoyami+Hawks mentor flashback and this is still all I can think about. why is he even in there. why is any of this happening. Tokoyami really just flung Re-Destro into a wall and then climbed inside of Fatgum feet-first so they could run along to freedom. just fucking ensconced himself. do you think it’s cozy in there. do you think Aizawa would fall asleep

hey Toko please stop having ominous thoughts about my other bird son

have you ever heard of an announcer jinx. “now here’s a guy who the fans have loved since the moment he was first introduced. and if you look at the stats, fourth place in his first popularity poll, which was taken only ten chapters after his introduction. heck, he’s so popular they even went and gave him a role in the second movie even before he appeared in the anime! it’s undeniable that this young man has a bright future ahead of him, Al.” now you listen here. I don’t at all like where this is headed and it needs to stop right now

anyway so of course on that note we are cutting back to Hawks

so we’ve confirmed that Hawks has his hands full just melting all of the new clones as they come, and doesn’t have the speed or the excess feathers (or the conviction? :|) to go after the original and put a stop to all this

or you could just ignore everything I say ever because immediately on the next page Horikoshi is all “actually he’s winning lol”

anyway but it sure would be a shame if someone were to run in and set you on fire right about now. that probably sounds sarcastic but it actually would be really bad lol please don’t set Hawks on fire

(ETA: motherfucker. goddamn. fucking --)

and now Hawks is making clones of his fellow League buddies oh shit!! but right when I was about to scroll down I noticed that Hawks is carrying some sort of recording device?? or communications device?? in his hand very conspicuously in that last panel? and so what is going on here, exactly?

oh shit and never mind about those LoV clones

that’s all well and good Hawks, but I need you to please just be very cautious and aware and proactive about not catching on fire okay. watch your six

oh my god oh my god

“now here’s a guy whose rise in popularity was unexpected but just a real pleasure to watch. he just really cares about his friends.” “you said it; he really came into his own a couple arcs back. twenty-third in the most recent poll, and the fans all love him.” fffffff Hawks isn’t a killer Hawks isn’t a killer, I can’t hear you lalala

LA LA LA

maybe... he’ll just... punch a small hole through one of his lungs... ...

...

or... a large hole... ... ,,,

oh THANK GOD he’s jumping on top of him. so clearly he’s fine because Shounen Rules. that’s right, this is a manga where Toga survived blowing up from the inside out and Jeanist survived being murdered and stuffed into a tote bag. (right??) why am I so tense I hate this!!

HEY WHAT IS THIS

or you could just KNOCK HIM OUT??? ?????!??! did they not teach you that in peewee assassin league?! Hawks

I DON’T LIKE THIS I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!

STOP SHOWING US TWICE’S SAD THOUGHTS YOU BASTARD NO I DON’T LIKE THIS YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY SO STOP!!

GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI I FUCKING HATE YOU

“HERE’S A SERIES OF PANELS WITH TWICE CRYING AND THINKING ABOUT TOGA WHILE HAWKS HOLDS A FUCKING KNIFE RIGHT ABOVE HIS EYE,” HORIKOSHI SAYS WHILE IGNORING EVERYTHING I SAY AND DISABLING ALL COMMENTS ON HIS TWITTER, PROBABLY. WOW I JUST LOOKED IT UP AND APPARENTLY YOU CAN’T DO THAT? DAMN, TWITTER REALLY SUCKS, BUT ANYWAY

FINE THEN DABI YOU CAN SET HIM ON FIRE!!

JOKE’S ON YOU ASSHOLES, YOU CAN’T HURT ME IF I CAN’T SEE THE LAST PAGE OF THE CHAPTER THROUGH ALL MY TEARS

FUCK

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THE FUCK WAS THAT

DON’T YOU EVEN DARE, HORIKOSHI. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY “BUT YOU GAVE HIM PERMISSION”, COME THE FUCK ON, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT DIDN’T MEAN SHIT AND I WAS LIABLE TO CHANGE MY MIND YET AGAIN ONLY A PAGE LATER AS PER USUAL! WHAT SORT OF TWISTED MIND WOULD DECIDE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE TWICE WAS TO SET THE ENTIRE ROOM ABLAZE AND THEN HAVE DABI GLEEFULLY STOMP ON HAWKS’S FACE. WHAT KIND OF SICK MONSTER WOULD DREAM THIS UP. THIS ISN’T HOT AT ALL. HOW DARE YOU

ALSO WTF DABI, “HERE I COME TO RESCUE TWICE” WHILE BURNING HIM ALIVE AS WELL, JESUS CHRIST THESE FUCKING TODOROKIS I SWEAR TO GOD. DID YOUR BRAIN CELLS CATCH FIRE TOO

I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAITED ALL WEEK IN A FUCKING LOCKDOWN FOR THIS SHIT. THIS CHAPTER WAS A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK, AND I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO THANK ITS STUPID CONDUCTOR, OR PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. it’s not the manga we need, but it’s the one we deserve. I guess

[steelmagnoliamusic]

24 September 2020

Unexpected Music Drop: “Skinny Skinny” by Ashton Irwin from his debut album Superbloom (out Oct. 23rd).

Yesterday, 23 September 2020, at 1:17pm, while I was working on homework, my roommate notified me that Ashton Irwin, drummer for 5 Seconds of Summer and love of my life, is releasing solo material. Because of COVID-19, the quarantine cancelled their tour, and everyone got cooped up inside, but rather than take a well deserved break, Irwin decided to keep his creative juices flowing. He worked on his own music, which talked about important issues and topics he has and continues to face. From depression to eating disorders and body dysmorphia to alcoholism and addiction, we learn a little more about Irwin and a lot more respect for him.

Now when I say he is the “love of my life,” I don’t mean he’s attractive to me (I mean he is but that’s not the point.) I mean his character and personality are unparalleled. You watch him in interviews and interacting with fans, and you can tell how proud and appreciative and genuine he is about what he does and the people who support him. He hasn’t hidden his struggles, like the ones I had mentioned, but he uses his experience to help others find hope and positivity in their lives again, myself included. You can tell how much he’s grown and how much more he wants to grow both as an artist and as a person. He is, in my opinion, one of those people who can say “I love you” and never have to doubt if he means it.

Ashton Irwin and everything he’s done means a lot to me personally. As you know, I lost my dad a little over 2 1/2 years ago. My dad was the one who built the foundation for my love of music. I remember driving with him when I’d go over to his house, and we’d listen to Kasey Kasem reruns, and he could always tell you which song was playing by which artist off which album from which year. It was impressive, and I still wish I could do that. Most of the music I listen to today I got from my dad. So when he passed, there was a bit of a void because music didn’t feel the same. It was still my go-to escape, but losing my dad also made it hard to listen to the stuff we used to. And yes, I admit I’ve had a crush on Ashton for years. I’ve always liked him, and I’ve always been able to relate to him in some way. So when my dad died, Ashton became a sort of solace for me — the one who kept me sane and kept me going and told me not to give up because if anyone could understand the emotional/mental pain I was/am in, help me to love and appreciate myself again, give me some hope and positivity when I needed, it’d be him. Ashton also, I guess, took on the mantle my dad had. I get my music tastes from him because, honestly, his voice and sound and music tastes are phenomenal. Though I’m not a “musician” myself, I learn from him, and I get my creative inspirations from him. Again, for me it’s not how he looks that attracts me to him, it’s who he is as a person and what he stands for as an artist. This is subjective, I know, but to be honest, I believe Ashton Irwin is the only good man I know. Like, I know good men who have guided me in my life, but Ashton for lack of a better term is pure and real. He is the epitome of who I think a good man is. It’s dangerous to hold someone to such a high standard without knowing them personally, but it’s what I feel. I honestly didn’t think I would ever be loved by somebody. I still don’t. I’m still convinced that no one cares about me, no one loves or wants me, no one appreciates me or respects me, that I’m not attractive enough or “normal” enough, that I’m not worth anyone’s time or attention. But when I see Ashton or I hear his voice or listen to him sing, for a moment I don’t feel those things. So far, he’s the only one who has ever made me feel otherwise. Again, I don’t know him personally, and I know the version of him in my head is not who he is in real life, but Ashton helps me get through the day. He helped me get past those terrible days when I just wanted to fade from existence. His smile makes me smile. He makes me feel better. Truth: I respect and appreciate him more than words can express. He is my hero.

So to hear about this solo venture of his (don’t worry, he’s not leaving 5SOS) is incredible. To have watched and grown with him is an honor to me. For Ashton to be so confident and comfortable enough with himself, his band, his music, us, the place he’s at, it’s amazing. I couldn’t be prouder to experience this with him.

His debut single, “Skinny Skinny” is off his debut album Superbloom, which comes out Oct. 23, and it’s fucking A. this specific song brings up the reality of eating disorders and body dysmorphia — something that he, his friends and family, and many of us have dealt with. He calls out the impossible standards we hold about the “perfect body” and the body shame we feel from that idea: “eat, but don’t get fat. Be skinny, but not too skinny, show off your assets so people don’t think you’re a slut and cover up but not too much so people don’t think you’re a prude. Fat is ugly. Why do you look like that?” and so many more things that society and we tell ourselves. It’s impossible to look like those people in magazines when even they don’t look like themselves in magazines. Everyone is different — size, shape, color, build, health, basic chemistry and biology — there is no such thing as the perfect  body except for the one you already have. (Obviously, still keep your health in mind. I don’t want any of y’all to get sick or hurt because of a health issue. I have high cholesterol and PCOS, I have to think about that stuff too. But that still doesn’t mean who you already are and what you already look like is wrong or bad in any way.) This idea of a “perfect body” is dangerous. It makes us hate ourselves and our bodies, and it causes us serious mental and physical health issues, i.e. body image issues/body dysmorphia and eating disorders. Ashton said it perfectly. We don’t “feel at home in our own bodies” when that should be the one place we can always feel at home.

Truth: I’ve only listened to this song since it released yesterday at 11pm. It’s literally on repeat now. So if “Skinny Skinny” is any indication of what we can expect from Superbloom, we are in for a Holy Spirit-inspired, God-given miracle. (Sorry to bring religion out. It’s the best analogy I could think of.) Ashton Irwin is so damn talented.his voice and range are jaw-dropping and impeccable. His music style and sound are amazing. Proud doesn’t even begin to describe how much this means to me. It’s more than pride, respect, admiration, appreciation, or even love. It’s just a part of myself that I either never knew was there or how much it affected me. I know I have depression, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, but there’s all these other things too that play in my mind and affect how I see myself and the world. And now there’s words for it, for the thoughts and feelings.

Just amazing.

I can’t wait for his album to drop on October 23rd. There’s no doubt in my mind that it will be anything less than awe-inspiring. I’m so happy and proud of him and this “side journey” he’s on, and I’m proud and honored to be a part of it.

For the God-given love of music,

Big Shot

[groovycatcollector]

The Wonderfully Right, And The Horribly Wrong (Daryl Dixon Love story)

Summery: After losing her brother and his wife, one young woman is left on her own, caring for a new born and trying to survive. After being taken in to a community after years of mistrust, how will she adapt, and what effect will a certain archer have on her. Starts the last episode of season 5

Warnings: slow-burn, angst, eventual fluff, violence, strong language. ptsd, age gap

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x OFC

Chapter 11

I wake again with the usual start, but this time immediately regretting sitting up straight, the banging in my head making my lie back down. The second thing I felt was my foul dryness in my mouth, then I heard a soft whimper of the baby. I reached an arm out to rub his stomach, feeling it fall down, I peeped an eye open to see I was on the couch not my bed. Hhm, odd.

I slowly sat up, wondering where Cain was and seeing a light on in the kitchen I crept over trying to keep my feet soft so I wouldn’t make any noise.

Still slightly hungover I squinted at the light, and saw a peculiar sight, a sweet sight really. Daryl was rocking my nephew, feeding him a bottle. He looked comfortable holding a baby.

I leaned agents the archway, feeling something bubble in my chest. “What are you doing with my baby Dixon?” I asked, rubbing one eye that still refused to let go of sleep my body so rudely awaken me from. I smiled lazily looking at Daryl shushing Cain to be quiet. He looked up, still looking a bit tipsy with rosy cheeks and a half smile. We kept drinking long after we strolled back.

People had brought over small gifts, some pickled food, and some small jars of wine which were now empty. I was shocked to see people be exited for a baptism, I knew I small talked with most people. I had helped stich up a few people and momentarily watched a few kids here and there but I didn’t think people even knew I was here.

Daryl’s lips curled into a crooked smile “Ahh, Natasha” He wrinkled his nose, slurring the last syllable of my name. I barley grumbled a ‘Piss off’ before grabbing a glass and gulping down three of water. The water felt sweep and stopped my tongue sticking to my pallet. I filled it again and held it up for Daryl, which made up do an awkward ‘swap you a baby for a glass of water’ dance.

I bounced Cain, wanting him to keep the heavy sleepiness so he could pass out soon enough, pretending not to watch him drinking down the water. Obviously he noticed and smiling he asked “What?” I smiled back “You got a bit of ugly on your face” Daryl raised an eyebrow before walking past me towards the couch. I followed.

I watched as he took a seat, stretching out his arms over the top of the sofa. I sat next to him, being careful to not wake Cain “I have a question” He announced, like he was proud of himself. “If you’re real names Natasha, why did you say your name was Nina?” He looked like he just found my deepest secret, that he had deeply outsmarted me.

I rolled my eyes, I used to get this all the time when I was younger. “My baba called me Natasha out of this old book, but my older sister Mary-Grace couldn’t say it because she was only two or three, so she called me Nina and it stuck” I had rehearsed that line so many time before, when it was still important. He nodded, implying that it was satisfactory. I suddenly felt a chill over my arms, and pulled Cain closer to me.

I pointed behind at the woollen blanket next to Daryl “Could you grab that? Im freezing” For a second he looked bewildered, before reaching behind and lied it on my legs. I pulled Cain up so his head was by my shoulder and adjusted the blanket. I mumbled a thank you before closing my eye, but Daryl had other ideas.

I felt half the blanked come away with a tug, leaving my left side completely uncovered. “I’m fucking cold too kid, don’t be an asshole” He was still slurring his words a bit, but now I couldn’t tell if it was the drink or his accent. We sleepily wrestled about the partition of the blanket, before decided to just sit closer together. Apparently using the argument of “I have a young baby that will freeze to death and then eat you” worked on a drunk archer.

 I barley remember falling back asleep but this time I woke up slowly, my eyes unopened, and listened to Carols muffled footsteps upstairs. I slept well, slept well for the first time in a while. My eyes still closed I shifted, on hand still on Cain’s back, and I snuggled myself into the warmth.

Warmth…

Oh shit.

Fuck now I felt it, the side of my face smushed into a chest and the arm curled around my waist. I must have leaned into him in my sleep. Shit what do I do? If I move I’ll wake him up, not that I want to, I’m pretty comfy -Oh sweet jesus I can’t be thinking like this he’s my friend. This will probably be very awkward when he wakes up, should I move ? Can I move ?

I reluctantly peeked an eye open and glanced around the room. It was already light out, light enough to be at the infirmary, defiantly missed helping Maggie then. I allowed myself to shift my head up a little, to see Daryl sound asleep. He looked a lot younger actually, and his hair all ruffled up like that was sweet- Nina whats wrong with you leave him alone.

He smelt good, like oak and something distinctly man Fuck sakes Nina not the time. Oh god I’m proper snuggled up to him, he was warm. I felt my cheeks flare up, and his steady heartbeat was drowned out by the blood pumping in my ears. Stop thinking about how warm he is and how sweet he looks and how he smells just so good and think danmmit !

Okay, actually how about he deals with the awkwardness of waking the other one first. I’ll just close my eyes, pretend I’m asleep, and let him deal with it.

Yeah … Good idea.

 I drifted off again, leaning into the comfort of a loose hug. This time I woke up alone, to Cain whimpering on my chest, then feeling his weight lift from me I sat up completely alert. Carol stood over me looking a bit shocked before relaxing with a smile, easing a bottle into Cain’s mouth.  

I thanked her, before grabbing some breakfast, well lunch now. Carol still held onto Cain after I’d splashed my face in an attempt to wake myself up .“Daryl’s on a run with Rick” She chimed in from behind me. Oh god, She must have seen us on the couch, Or after we came back from my little walk. Oh fuck she must think I’m a right perv… or maybe she didn’t? Maybe that’s what friends do in an apocalypse?

I rolled my sleeves up before taking Cain back. “Thanks again for last night, it was nice to let off some steam” I smiled, hoping and praying that she hadn’t seen. Her eyes narrowed for a spilt second before her face softened into a smile “It wasn’t any trouble, gives us an excuse for a few drinks”

I looked down at my boots, trying to distract myself from the embarrassment that had washed over the back of my neck “Yeah, ehh sorry about going a bit crazy”. She laughed at that  

 **

 “How’s the head Ms Natasha?” Denis sang with a half-smile, looking far too amused with herself. I put Cain down in the corner “Jesus how does everyone know that’s my first name?” I huffed. Denis laughs before clearing her throat and putting on a god awful Russian accent.

“You’re not cutting me off, Natasha Ilyinichna Irena Lebedev Price can handle her drink, she is true Russian”

I stared at her in shock, thank god I wasn’t holding the baby because I would have dropped him right there. “I did not” I barely got out a whisper. She handed me a cup of coffee, giving me a look of no sympathy. “You did”

I slowly sat down on the bed, it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve done drunk. One time I flashed my tits to a police officer, who didn’t press charges thank god.

I sipped the coffee, wincing a little at its bitterness but drinking it knowing I’ll need the energy today.

The day was actually pretty normal considering how unusual it started. Did the routine, gossiped a little about the people last night, about Carol and Tobin, when rick and Michonne would get together, how red Glenn’s face got when he drank ect.

I was boiling the equipment to sterilize them when Denis gave me a look, a look that I give to Carl whenever I figure he’s been screwing around with Enid. She fumbled with her hands for a second, leaning agents the counter next to me. “What?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

She hummed, looking around the room. “Remember how I said that I thought you and Daryl had a thing?” Oh shit. I nodded slowly “Yeah, what about it?” I was careful with my words, not wanting to give away how intrested I actually was on the matter.

Okay, maybe I have a tiny crush.

Denise simply cocked her head at me, like I was supposed to know where this conversation was going. I looked back, waiting for her to finish her sentence.

The doctor cleared her throat before straightening up “You guys were just pretty friendly that’s all”

My eyes followed her “I don’t kno-“my undoubtedly-would-have-been witty response was cut short by something moving in my peripheral vision, instinctively making my hand go to the knife in my pocket.

“Why ar-“I put my hand up to silence her, keeping my eye on the back room.

Could be someone just looking for help, but could be a rotter. Denisse eyes follow mine as I crept into the back room only to see Cain.

I let out a sigh of relief before glancing back, he was in a different spot to where I put him.

Thankfully Denise was there to fill in the blanks “Holy shit he’s crawling”

I froze, my eyes fixated on the clumsy movements while he moved closer toward us before stumbling a little and flopping onto his stomach.

I let out a hearty laugh before stooping down to pick him look from his armpits. Holy shit, my baby’s crawling. “Hey look what you did” I cooed, looking into his his (literal) baby blues.

**

 I burst through the door into the house dizzy with excitement and placed Cain onto the wooden floor.  I wanted to see it again.

“What are you doing?” I quickly shushed Carol, who stamped passed me to close the door into the night. Carol let out a little squeak seeing Cain flop forward again and begin to drag himself toward Daryl, who sat on a stool near the kitchen.

I gasped, still shocked at his new skill. “Aren’t you just the cleverest little thing !” Carol exclaimed, picking him up once he fell again, nearly mirroring my reaction. I chuckled bringing my figure up to rub under his chin.  “He’s gonna be the next Usain Bolt I betcha”

 **

It was just me and Daryl playing a game of poker on the couch that evening. I had put Cain down after his feed about twenty minutes ago and Carol had gone to see Tobin when she thought none of us would notice.

Honestly we were both a bit awkward once it was only us, so Daryl offered a game. It helped, we were back to our usual snarky remarks and sideways glances after the first round. Neither one of us had mentioned this morning, which was fine.

Totally fine.

…

Maybe I wanted to talk about it, maybe I wanted to know how he felt about it.

…

Maybe Denis was right and I had a major crush.

His laugh brought me out of over thinking. His eyes lit up as placed a full house down in front of my eyes. “Awh fuck you Dixon” I snarled, trying to force down a laugh at his exited face. Daryl’s green eyes scrunched up with joy “You’re just Jealous Dolly that you’re crap at this game” My chest fluttered with the new nickname.

He was right. I was crap.

“Dolly?” I grumbled, giving him an eye while I reshuffled the cards. “Like Dolly Parton?” He smiled again, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile so much. I liked it.

Daryl didn’t even get an answer out before I joked “Just because of the blonde hair and big tits?” My turn to smile. Daryl’s ears turned a bright red before shaking his head. “Nah” His eyes were not fixated on his cards, his long fingers fumbling trying to put them in order. “You’re just always singing her that’s all”

I hummed, accepting that excuse. But it was definitely because of my blonde hair and tits.

We were quiet for a time, focusing on the game, and once it became clear that I was once again going to lose I tried to distract him “How was the run today?” I asked, looking up from my cards to see his brow furrowed in concentration.

He took a moment to respond. “Shit, found a big truck full of supplies that ended up in a lake”

That took me back and I let my cards go limp. Daryl’s shoulders slumped a little, obviously not something he wanted to talk about.

We played for another round before my nattering was interrupted with a  sudden question.

“Do you want to stay?” Daryl didn’t look at me, kept his eyes fixated on his cards I scanned his face, wondering why he was asking. I dropped my cards, suddenly feeling the room become serious. “Well I want Cain to grow up safe, and Denise needs me in the infirmary and-“ He cut me off “I know a roamer when I see one Nina” His chest rose and fell

“You’re saying you have to stay, but do you want to?” He looked at me, his eyes filled with something, something close to desperation.

The same desperation that was reflected mine the past few days. I let out a shaky breath, feeling myself my heart thumping in my chest “I’m starting to” his eyes darted down to my lips for a fraction, and I bit my own. We just sat there looking at each other for what felt like a lifetime, my mind racing and stopping at the same time.

I don’t know who leaned in first or whose hands reached out first but in an instant our lips met, and his hand was on my cheek. It was slow, like neither one of us was sure it was a good idea, but perusing anyways. 

Tags:https://tmblr.co/mJ8tAevvokZdRi9HxEHeCrw

Part one Part two Part three Part four Part five Part six Part seven Part eight Part nine Part ten 

[daniellesimagines]

Try It Again (Ashton Irwin) - Part 2 *

submitted by @palayeeeroyale

Part 1

Trigger warning: Mentions of rape, PTSD

~

“-and then I rolled down my window like ‘I’m so sorry, Shia LaBeouf!’ and then he- Ash? Ashton, are you even listening?” Michael interrupted his story when he saw that his friend sitting passenger in his car staring at his phone.

“Hmm?” Ashton murmurs, finally looking up, “Oh sorry, mate, I was just texting Y/N.” The rest of the band nods, understanding that Michael’s story is the last thing Ash is concerned about. The boys decided to carpool to the studio today rather than be in separate cars.

“How’s she doing? She still having sleep trouble?” Calum asked.

“She’s been doing better, actually. She still has nightmares from time-to-time, but she hasn’t had any sleep paralysis in a few months. And she’s starting to get more confident,” Ashton informed the three curious boys, finally sliding his phone back in his pocket. 

Luke, Michael, and Calum were all worried about you as well. Being with Ashton meant being around them a lot, so it was inevitable for you four to be close to each other. Their respective significant others and you were all really close as well, you and Sierra were even to be bridesmaids in Michael and Crystal’s wedding. So when the tragic incident happened, everyone was understandably scared about you; There wasn’t a single dry eye in the hospital room the day you were admitted.

“How has she become more confident?” the long-haired singer asked from his seat behind the eldest boy of the group.

Ashton sighed, not sure if he should even tell them something as personal as this. But he looked at the concerned faces staring back at him – all except Michael, who was driving – and knew that they aren’t gonna make too big of a deal out of it like they normally did whenever one of them talked about their sex life, he decided to.

“You have to promise me you won’t mention to Y/N that I told you…” All three boys nodded, confused as to what the answer could possibly be. “Recently, we tried to have sex again.”

“Y-You didn’t make her, did you?” the kiwi boy asked hesitantly.

“No! God, no! I would never!” Ashton yelled, very offended by the question. Calum shrunk back under the hateful glare that Ashton was sending him.

“Well, how’d it go?” Michael tried to ease the tension, “Did you two finish?”

“No, she safe-worded out. But I’m so fucking glad she did. I was terrified she would’ve just let me have my way with her, y’know? I would’ve felt terrible if I knew that I fucked her while she was having flashbacks of what happened.” The boys simply nod. 

The Tesla was silent for a minute before Michael brought up an idea.

“Why don’t you let her be in charge or something…?” he offered. Ashton looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, yeah! Let her be on top so she won’t get scared of you being on her,” Calum included. Ashton sat there quietly, taking in the suggestions the boys were throwing at him.

“That’s not a bad idea at all. Like, make her feel like she has complete control of the situation?”

The drummer earned a simultaneous “Yes!” “Yeah!” “Exactly!” in response. He hadn’t really thought about that. 

Ashton was never one to be submissive. He liked his dominance. He liked having power over someone – a person who would do anything to please him whenever he so desired. 

He tried giving up the power once with you during the early stages of your relationship, and although it was enjoyable, it wasn’t something he was into doing regularly. You accepted this, since you two were just experimenting at the time, and stuck ‘femme-dom’ under the metaphorical list of kinks that you two weren’t gonna pursue.

But now, he’s never heard of a more perfect idea. Letting you have total control of what you do and what he does? It’s brilliant!

“That’s such a fucking good idea, Mike,” he looks at the guitarist in complete awe.

“Thanks,” he stated proudly, “You only get one good one out of me per year.”

“More like per millennia…” the other blonde mumbled.

“Shut up, Luke!”

~

Ashton held onto the idea of you two switching roles for about three weeks. 

He wasn’t gonna come up to you with the idea – he was gonna wait until you wanted to have sex again. He didn’t want you to feel like you were being rushed, so he decided to be patient. He assumed you weren’t gonna want to try anything again for another few months, but your words one day during dinner made him nearly start choking on his food.

“Ash, I wanna try having sex again,” you stated casually. The black-haired boy started to cough, startled by the proposition. After he had finally swallowed the pasta, he responded.

“Princess, it’s only been a couple weeks. Don’t you wanna wait a little longer?” he looks at you, who’s now standing the other side of the table beside him, with uncertainty.

“Please, Ashton! I want to be close with you again. I want you to make love to me. I wanna make you feel good.” That last sentence slipped out. As soon as you said it, the boy’s eyes softened.

“Baby, don’t feel like you should try having sex again for me. I’m perfectly okay going without sex if it means that you’re getting better. Your therapist said that if you were to have another PTSD episode, it could set you back. You could have your night terrors again, or your sleep paralysis… I don’t want to hurt you or your recovery.”

“I know what Dr. Torrence said. But I miss you – I miss the intimacy and the passion between us. Please, Ashton; I know you’re worried, but this is something I really wanna try one more time,” you try to persuade. He looks at you in thought for a while before making a decision.

“I’ve actually thought of a way that could help you get through it, but I’ll tell you what. Next Saturday, if you’re still 100% sure you wanna try it again, then we’ll do it. I just want to make sure this isn’t some kind of ‘in the moment’ thing or whatever. I don’t wanna hurt you, princess,” Ashton puts his hand on your cheek. You place a hand on his wrist and look at him with understanding eyes.

“Okay, next Saturday sounds good,” you smile. He returns the gesture, then kisses your nose just to see your face scrunch up like it does every time he kisses you there.

~

One week later

Now it’s next Saturday, and the want to have sex with your boyfriend only grew stronger. You wanted to give it another go – you really believe that can do it and not freak out.

You two were in your bedroom, kissing each other passionately. You both stand there for a bit before either one of you speak.

“Baby, take off my shirt,” he mumbles against your lips. You oblige, swiftly unbuttoning everything. You wait for him to do the same for you, but never makes the motion.

“Aren’t you gonna take my clothes off?”

“Nuh-uh,” he shakes his head, “I want you to have total control over everything. You can take off your clothes when you want, you can touch me when you want, you can tell me where to touch you – everything.” You blink at him, surprised. Him being so willing to give up all the power to you nearly brings you to tears. But you try not to ruin the moment, so you take off your shirt.

Shedding both of your clothes, you pull Ashton towards the bed. You lay down and pull him on top of you. But that position only lasts only a second before he flips you both over. You looked at him in shock for the second time.

“Like I said, you have the whole say so,” he reminded you. You smile down at the raven-haired boy below you. 

You take him in your hand and line him up at your entrance, the both of you groaning at this feeling of you sinking down on him. You pause a moment, adjusting to the length, before bouncing up and down.

This seems…natural. 

You have no unsettling feeling and, for the first time in eight months, your head is clear of any of any of the horror that you’ve experienced. You and Ashton were having sex… 

And you were enjoying it.

“Ashton, touch me,” you commanded.

“Where, baby girl?”

You shake your head, “I don’t care – anywhere. Please.”

Ashton immediately reaches to your breasts, squeezing and pinching your nipples. You moan out his name louder as you were getting closer to your high.

“You close, princess?” You nod. “Me too. Come for me.”

You take one of his hands that were on your boob and brought it down to your core, hoping he would understand what you wanted. Luckily, he did, using his fingers to circle your clit. A couple more bounces and you released all over his length, causing Ashton to finish as well. Once you’ve both come down from your highs, you pull off of him and lay down next to him.

You two lay there silently for a bit, just enjoying being next to each other…

Then Ashton heard it: your sniff.

You were crying.

His stomach dropped, and his heart started pounding. 

Fuck, no no no. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen; You were supposed to safe-word out. God dammit, he fucked this up. He fucked everything up. He hurt you and now you were gonna reset all the progress you had just made recovering. 

God fucking dammit.

“Baby…” he whispers. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I should’ve been mor-” He stops when he hears you laughing. You look at him with a large smile as his eyebrows furrow.

“I did it!” you announce, “I fucking did it!” Your tears flow harder, but your smile somehow gets wider.

“Wait, what?”

“Ashton… I had sex! And I liked it!” you sit up, “Holy shit, I had an orgasm again! I never thought I’d be able to do that again! Oh my god!” Your happy tears turned into happy sobs. 

Your boyfriend let out the biggest sigh of relief, before sitting up as well to hug you. You rest your head on his chest.

“I’m so fucking proud of you, princess,” he kissed the top of your head. 

You look up at him with teary eyes, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being there for me. For waiting for me to be ready again. For letting me be dominant so we can do this, even though you aren’t used to it. For everything.” Ashton smiles, softly taking your chin in his hand and kissing your lips.

“I’d do anything for you.”

[gingy]

I’ve been too scared to tell my roommate that I don’t want to sign another lease together and today I woke up and basically said fuck it and told him and !!!! why was I so nervous about that oh my god!!!!!!!! we both cannot stand living together LOL and now I feel so much less awful. I really thought I was going to be hurting his feelings but instead it was such a mature and friendly conversation

I was literally terrified of the change but YOOO so many good things come out of this!! I’ll be walking distance to one of my fav state parks! I’ll be super close to the art museum! I’ll go from being an hour away from all my closest friends to being 10 minutes away holy shiiiiiiiiiit!!!! honestly I’m really fucking proud of myself because my PTSD riddled brain is terrified of any and all conflict but I really did that shit. I recognized my wants and needs and communicated them. Shoutout to me honestly for putting myself first - what a bad bitch!!!!

[rockettransman]

MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT ROCKETMAN

I HAVE SO MANY! HERE WE GO!

prelude: i went into this movie pretty jaded and not thinking i was gonna like it. in my head, i got john lennon and elton john confused. i was thinking it was about john lennon. “oh god, they made a movie about that prick?” further, i was already dreading it because they play EJ’s hits on the radio at work all the time, and frankly i was fucking sick of tiny dancer and im still standing. when i watched the trailer i was like “aw geez, elton john sings these? damn, i was hoping i could tolerate him at all.” so. not many high hopes for this movie.

that was until i was on a six hour flight from boston to portland, oregon, and i was delirious with pain and boredom. i was sat in the middle of a father and daughter, and so i really didn’t wanna pull out my laptop and get in their space. reading the subtitles from the office off the airplane tv made me sick. the lights were off and it was 2 am, so no reading. i. was. BORED. and then, i saw someone watching something in the row in front of me. where i was sitting i got a whole view of their screen. oh, they were watching that elton john movie. they didn’t have subtitles on, so i could only take from visual and context clues what was happening. it looked flashy, and oh-- that man just stared lovingly, tenderly into another man’s eyes. oh shit. oh yeah. elton is gay. 

now i’m hooked. if i’m anything, i’m a trans man in a desperate search for a complex queer romance movie. i wanted something that would pull on my heartstrings, that would wreck me emotionally with a high reward. suddenly elton is staring at himself in full garb, putting on and taking off his glasses. smiling then frowning. glasses on. smile. glasses off. scowl. oh he’s in distress. oh, is he snorting coke? okay, cool, tight.

from here on out, i watch the movie with (no audio) the predisposition that elton is in severe distress, dealing with drugs and self-sabotage all because his feelings and attraction towards men are confusing and frustrating and he doesn’t know how to cope with them. is he in denial? does he hate himself for it? does he try to make himself attracted to women? obviously, i was incorrect. elton was pretty secure in the fact that he was gay in his personal life. 

i think about rocketman for days until my flight back to sarasota. i decide to watch rocketman on the plane back instead of renting it. but for some reason, my goblin brain told me to rent it, and i did. but i ended up just watching it on the plane anyway.

i was disappointed. really, kinda bummed about it. every article and review said it was R for a reason. there was plenty sexual content and drugs to do elton’s real life comparison justice. in the movie i watched, i saw none of it. there was some drinking of alcohol, he took pills, it was implied he snorted coke. i saw no kissing, no intimacy, not even a tender hand on a cheek or embrace between elton and another man. this movie was praised for being so groundbreaking! for representing so much of what elton’s life was really like, with drugs and sex and all that. and now that i thought about it, i heard not one curse word. “bloody” was tossed around a lot, but that is used as an inflection. and during the pool scene before he throws himself in, when he meets john at the deck, he spits something about “his secretary shagging him in front of the pool boys.” that had me in utter confusion. there... was no one there with john? he was just sitting there? must’ve been something i missed.

SO IT TURNS OUT THE AIRPLANE’S VERSION OF THE MOVIE WAS HEAVILY CENSORED. i watched the real thing when i got home yesterday and was FLOORED by the differences in the same movie i had just watched. in the scene where elton remarks he’d like to change his name, they completely edited out the character behind him peeing into a glass bottle. they also cut out the scene where elton is staring at the performer, being yelled at to close the door, and the kiss where he’s pinned against the wall. holy fuck. i realized when i saw that, i had missed something MAJOR. this meant i was missing some MORE major explicit, probably important-to-the-plot-and-character-development stuff. oh, now i was excited. 

(we could talk all day about the fact that a single kiss between two men was cut because it was deemed “too explicit”, and in a movie about elton john being the ultimate irony)

the sex scene AND take me to the pilot were completely missing in the airplane version. i had no idea this song existed! oh my god, it was a banger! i cried tears of happiness during the song. holy shit. the tense energy between he and john, standing there silhouetted by the window, and then all of a sudden they’re all over each other, fingers tangled in hair, moaning into each other’s mouths, squirming, trying to get as close to each other as possible. this is what i wanted. this is what i was looking for. not because i was looking for something “hot” or “dirty.”’ i wanted an intense sex scene because then i knew it was real. i wanted the desperation, the nerves, the tender way they cradled each other, and how they went to town on each other. it was elton’s first time being intimate with a man, and it was such a nerve-wracking, intense, lustful, desperate moment. taron and richard absolutely nailed it. The swaying and the leaning into each other, the grabbing and nuzzling and all of a sudden they’re all over each other... it honest to god moved me. not to sound too “grew-up-baptist”, but sex, especially the first time you have it is so special and intimate and personal and important (imo). i know all the times i’ve had sex, it was a very, very special moment to me, and i wholly and completely trusted my partner then. i was so happy elton could find security and love and a heckin good time in bed with another man. it must’ve felt so freeing.

This was between two men! In the smack dab of the AIDS crisis in like 1975 or some shit! If being queer is this fucking tough in 2019, imagine what it was like in 1975!! MILLIONS of people were left to die by eat-shit Raegan who say by and said “aw that’s cute.” MILLIONS of people died for loving who they love!! That’s fucked man!! Seeing a triumphant moment like this in the middle of what was happening and what it could mean for Elton and his career just rly got me ya know

my entire perspective of the movie changed from then on. i was excited to see what else i had missed. in fact, some of the songs weren’t bad. maybe i’d like some of elton’s stuff after all?

i missed the scene in the closet. on the airplane, he followed john into the closet and shut the door. the scene cut. but in the real version, suddenly john pinned him against the wall, mirroring the scene of the first kiss i missed, and elton lamely stutters he wants dinner with him, not a sexual act john was certainly looking for, and in the next moment he was hungrily snapping at his finger. i missed exactly how much coke elton snorted. i missed entire scenes and nuances that provided so much to the story. man, i was angry i missed all this. i was cheated.

when i finished the real version, my perspective on the movie, and elton, and his music, had spun an entire 180. i dug it. i listened to rocket man on repeat during the entirety of my forty minute run. i fell asleep listening to the soundtrack. i woke up today listening to it, and have been through the whole day. i have not been able to get this movie off my mind. im watching it for the third time right now.

WELCOME TO THE THIRD POINT OF THIS POST!

if you made it this far, thank you. what i wrote feels so important to me. someone needed to hear it. I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE ENTIRE ROCKETMAN SCENE. I have PTSD with psychotic features. This means that under the right triggers, i hallucinate, visually or auditorily (is that a word), things that aren’t there. sometimes they’re scary, connected to my past trauma, but sometimes, they’re hazy outlines of good people who i think i know. i also deal with all the lovely things that come along with ptsd, including dissociation. pretty much any and everything can trigger me in a specific way. the pool scene was incredibly difficult to watch. seeing a little boy playing piano underwater, him sinking and hovering and singing along, and people slowly descending, dancing in the water until they retrieve him. the vision snaps apart and holy fuck elton is in trouble. (as an aside, that’s one of my favorite affects of film: the protag is under the influence of something, whether it be a hallucination, drugs, in a deep fantasy, or just otherwise a storytelling device, and he is in imminent danger. the audience is aware he is in imminent danger. the protag, however, is cool and chillin and hanging out, not aware or bothered, and maybe this is where a major character arc beat hits. in an instant, they’re pulled out of it, and we--the audience and the characters--are hit with how dire the circumstances really are.)

Suicide is a super sensitive subject to me. when he mumbled “i’m going to fucking kill myself” and plunged into the depths, my throat constricted. it was a difficult few minutes, but i held my breath, gritted my teeth, and paced myself through it. despite the sheer terror and panic that was racing through my brain, the entirety of it was so beautiful. the bright blues, whites, and blacks of the pool lighting and bubbles decorating him, the flow of his--forgive him, i don’t know if there’s a cultural name--outer garment, how curious and confused he looked as he watched his younger self do something he did now, and the people twirling through the water, reaching out, and eventually snatching him up until we’re suddenly in the present--dude, the cinematography of the entire first verse is so, so breathtaking. the scene in the ambulance and getting his stomach pumped was a bit too graphic for me (i could feel a flashback/hallucination creeping on; sometimes i can’t tell them apart.) but it was all done so smoothly. when they lifted him up, spun him around, undressed and dressed him all in one fluid motion, i lost my fuckin mind. i rewound it several times to just watch that sequence. the pain, reluctance, and exhaustion in his face right before he was handed his bat and exuberantly entered the stage was so intense it was palpable. my heart ached for him deeply. it’s allll about putting on a mask of being truly happy and well, when just before that, he had tried to fucking kill himself. how fucking heavy is that shit?

the downward spiral kept me on the edge of my seat. honky cat was funky as hell, and i loved the little tiny moments and gestures towards each other. maybe john and elton truly cared for each other for mere heartbeats before it all went south. he was hurting so bad and ruining everything and in such denial i wanted to throttle him by the shoulders to scream “LOOK WHAT YOU’RE DOING! YOU BIG FUCKING IDIOT!” he was constantly suffering, doing more coke and drugs than i thought a person could keep in his system. the suicide attempt, the fantastic Dodgers show, the night and day between his outward appearance and his actions, all of it was so gripping. the group therapy medium through which the story was told was insanely cool, too. i thought at first it was a bit cheesy, but it worked. i loved that he confronted everyone who had hurt him, and who he had hurt, and reconciled. i loved that as the major plot beats went on, his clothes eventually toned down in loudness, mirroring how the story was going along in real time. he went from having an explosive outburst, to levelly confronting his parents, and firmly insisting they not treat him like that anymore. they didn’t have the right. we could see how he’d grown through several different literary elements. the fact that it was laid out so plainly really helped me, someone who is dumb as fuck and constantly misses nuances like that.

it’s so disheartening to see elton’s first love was someone who was aggressive, non-interested, and who refused to listen to him.

(im at the pinball wizard scene, and holy shit this tune fucks)

at the end of the day, when i had thought the movie fell through so many expectations, i watched the real, authentic version and was so, so happy with how it turned out. it was much more honest than what i had thought it was. when the credits rolled, and it said he and his husband David Furnish had been happily married for 25 years, the tears really started coming. Elton did it. He survived through all the shit he put his body through, all the heartache and loneliness and terrible isolation and suffering, and he won. He got what he always wanted. A man who loved him deeply, purely, passionately, and properly. 

i haven’t shut up about elton john for days. i’m kinda baffled how something gripped me so intensely, when i had written it off as stupid just a day before this. thank you for reading. i’m sure i forgot a lot of things i wanted to express, but hopefully i got something across. let me know if you read this, please. if you made it all the way down here, i owe you like $5. drop me your venmo.

thank you for reading. this movie touched me in a way i didn’t think was possible. thank god for elton john. thank god for his perseverance. thank god for his story, giving me and millions of others hope that happiness will come. recovery is possible. healing is possible. you just need to reach out first. thank you and goodnight.

[cleoselene]

swiftjolras replied to your post “I cannot even describe how bad my night was  but I almost got maced in...”

what the fuck cleo i'm so sorry, are you guys safe now?

I’m okay.  I don’t know about my friend.  She’s in the hospital.  I got kicked out because they were treating her like shit, like doctors do, and she is probably gonna freak out when she wakes up and I’m not there, and all her stuff is in my car, and i’m so scared for her because this hospital was like some tv nightmare.  The Nazi was a security guard booting me from the hospital for challenging the doctor’s disrespectful care, which was deeply disrespectful.  I still have all her stuff and I don’t know how to get it to her, it was in my car. 

He must have been about 6′7″ he had about five cronies, all of them about that size, to intimidate a disabled woman on chemo with MS who can barely walk.  I turned around when I realized her things were in my car and she was in the hospital and he was inches from my face.  I said, “you look exactly like a Nazi, don’t you?”

He winked, and the pepper spray bottle was in my face with a full-on smirk.

I really did dare him, because I have more guts than brains.  He wanted to, but I think even he realized six rent-a-cops beaitng up a disabled woman in a hospital parking lot was probably a major lawsuit waiting to happen.

they threatened to call the cops.  I welcomed it.  I was ready to not move.  But my mom said, and I can’t fucking believe this, that she wouldn’t bail me out.  If cops had come to drag me out because I, a Medical Sociologist, was witnessing medical staff mistreating a vulnerable patient, I would have been badly injured, and she told me she wouldn’t bail me out.

It’s going to take a very long time for me to forgive her for this.

thebiscuiteternal replied to your post “I cannot even describe how bad my night was  but I almost got maced in...”

Jesus Christ, are you hurt?

only very deeply in my soul.

strikeouts-and-saxophone

replied to your post

“I cannot even describe how bad my night was  but I almost got maced in...”

Oh my god that’s awful, are you safe/okay now? I’m so sorry that happened

I’m more worried about my friend.  She’s still in that medical shop of horrors but I managed to speed dial some health care advocated that I found recently in my own PTSD adventures who I confirmed did indeed make it there.  They said they stayed with her for quite a while.  But I still don’t know how to get her stuff or her a ride home.  I’m trespassed from the fucking hospital.  Me, the sickest person alive.

shewritesinthethirdperson replied to your post “I cannot even describe how bad my night was  but I almost got maced in...”

Yeah, Im with everyone else. That's a bunch of stuff you shouldn't have had to deal with, that's especially shitty of your mom, but most importantly, are you and the friend somewhere safe?

I am.  She’s in the hospital.  I hope she’s safe.  But I don’t trust health care providers as far as I can kick them.  I have no idea how I’ll sleep tonight and I’ve been awake for 40 hours already.

I do plan to raise holy hell over this.  If anyone wants to help me research.

Dr. Wortz was the name of the doctor.  He was bad.  the Nurse in charge of the ER department was worse.  All I know is that her name is Rebecca (unsure of spelling, I had to do a ridiculous accent calling them up to get that much info and pretend I was scared of coronavirus).  She has long brown wavy hair and blue eyes.  Dr. Wortz is a proud MAGAT.  They work ER at Lee Memorial Hospital in Fort Myers, but I don’t know if it’s full time.

My mom always told me she wouldn’t bail me out if it was something bad, like drugs or robbery or violence.  But if it was taking a principled stand, protecting someone, she would.  She made me that promise and she broke it tonight and I had earlier today promised to try family counseling but I don’t even want to look at her right now.  I’m ashamed of myself for being too feeble to fight harder.  I’m ashamed because I know there are feebler people who would have fought harder and taken the mace to the face.  I feel like a fucking wimp.  And like I abandoned my friend who is injured and scared and very timid by nature alone now. And when she wakes up she won’t even have her phone or know where the fuck I am.

[adder24]

“She’s not the only Woman superhero”

Alright I am sick of hearing this. I’m sick of hearing people I talk to (mainly guys) Say that Captain Marvel is not the only woman superhero. Yes....Yes I fucking know she isn’t! We have Wonder woman, Supergirl, Black Widow, Scarlet Witch Batwoman etc etc. I KNOW! I ain’t an Idiot! But when I explain my reasoning behind my obsession with this woman, I just get point blank stares and I need to just put it straight. 

I’m a Tomboy. I’m straight and I find it very hard to connect to other female superheroes. Technically I should enjoy Wonder Woman or Supergirl but I don’t, I don’t because they make it very obvious these characters are women. “How?” I hear you ask....well look at their super hero names to start with “Wonder Woman” “Super Girl” I hate it being advertised that I am a woman, my body makes it obvious that I am a woman, so if I was a superhero, why the HELL would I make it bloody obvious what gender I am?! Seriously I have tits, that’s key enough to know what gender I bloody well am!

Then we look at the attire.....and yeah you guessed it, these girls are decked out in skirts or skin tight trousers and skin tight tops or corsets. Not every woman likes wearing that shit, Not every woman wants to look sexy as shit when beating the crap out of people! I certainly don’t, gimme a pair of jeans and some well worn DC skater shoes and I’d beat the crap out of goons in comfort.

Even with superheroes there is far too much stereotyping going on and I know that what I am saying maybe deemed controversial or I am spouting crap but seriously as a Tomboy who is automatically labelled as gay because I rock short hair and wear boys clothes, I find it very hard to connect to a superhero that is generally portrayed as the stereotypical image of how a woman should appear to men. Long hair, skirts, dresses, curves and all that bullshit.

So why Captain Marvel?

Alright she ain’t innocent of the stereotyping herself. She had a period where she wore a leotard, was sexualised and was known as Ms Marvel

but in 2012 she got revamped by a female cartoonist who saw the impracticability of this AWFUL costume (God bless you Kelly Sue DeConnick) And was given the uniform we associate with her today. And it suits! Captain Marvel is far far far from being girly, She likes to be one of the lads, in fact she tries to be better than the lads because she has a point to prove, that she is equal, that she can do the things that the men can do and believe it or not she is the most powerful superhero in the MCU right now.

And that’s what I like about her...she’s essentially a Ladette/Tomboy. She plays baseball, she ain’t afraid of a bit of rough housing from the lads, she falls down alot but she gets back up again because she fucking can or as DeConnick puts it

“Carol falls down all the time,” DeConnick says, “but she always gets back up — we say that about Captain America as well, but Captain America gets back up because it’s the right thing to do. Carol gets back up because ‘Fuck you.”

Link

She’s also a character with weakness, she has severe anxiety attacks due to what she has been through, Civil war 2 wasn’t exactly kind to her and then Secret empire really did bring her to her knees but despite the anxiety, the PTSD, the alcohol addiction she went through to cope with her trauma, she got back up!! This is why I can connect to her! She’s been dragged through the wars and made to suffer and she comes back just as strong! She don’t get up because it’s right. She gets up because “FUCK YOU!” Fuck you I will prove you wrong! “Fuck you! I will kick your fucking ass!” “Fuck you I can show you I can do what you do and do it better!”

I got into reading her comics late! In fact I started reading them in 2017, it was a rough year for me, I lost my grandfather the previous year and I was struggling with grief and my depression, I was losing friends cause my moods were spiralling out of control and my anxiety was making my life unbearable. I remember trying to grasps some normalacy and I went into my comic book store to escape reality and thats when  I saw a picture of her on a comic.

And I remember thinking “Holy shit there is a female superhero with short hair!” That was what drew me to her! She had short hair! So I picked that comic up and I was in that shop for an hour reading it and loving this character because I was going “She’s me.....she’s me if I was a superhero!” It was that bad that I went to New York comic con and cosplayed as her!  And it felt great!

I think that was the turning point, the fact I found a character, who was a woman that I could connect with. A woman that is not stereotypical, that kicks ass and does it better than the men she works alongside. A woman that has gone through grief, depression and Anxiety and come back twice as strong with that attitude “Oh you thought I was giving up? Wrong!!”

She’s not the only Woman Superhero no, but for me a Tomboy who’s fed up of being told to be more feminine, who’s fed up of being forced to follow gender stereotype and being presented daily through media and advertising with images of what is an acceptable appearance for a woman, she’s a welcome and refreshing break to the mould.

She’s my Superhero and she’s gonna kick Thanos’s Ass. RUN PURPLE BOY RUN!

(Awesome art by @BossLogic)

@marvelentertainment @myfriendtheurbanlegend @untilthe12ofnever @vegetarianvampireduck @detective-fiasco @aragarna @savhcaro @reeselivesforeverinmyheart @plink42 @purpleshield1548 @prplprincez @frenchfrostpudding @imelopsittacus @angelus80 @bonnie131313 @dontgetfunny @ellenveggirl @feelmyroarrrr @gutterfortunecookie @heike-251 @lisagarlandd @luckythirteen45 @msmarvel @nuggsmum

[hellgracer]

Notes on 14x16

Okay I haven't even seen any teasers so this one's a surprise. All I know is that *sniff* this is the second to last season of Supernatural so I'm gonna savor every minute. Here we go.

Also it's like 3am so I'm extra emotional.

ARE WE HAVING MORE LESBIAN MIRROR TEENS YES YES YES

I'm digging this rocking backtrack

Ooh the couple making out gets murdered yeet

Girl runs away gets murdered while sheriff and son argue?

Nasty ass bathroom yikes

What did she see?

*ominous music*

I swear to god if she gets sucked into the toilet

Omg it's a TROLL IN THE DUNGEONS

Why does this kid look like he wants to cry constantly

RIP hot girl

OKAY CAN WE PAUSE FOR A MINUTE AND TALK ABOUT Dean just called Sam "sunshine" (something he sometimes calls Cas) and then started talking about sex and porn?

Jared looks pretty today

Jack I love you you're an adorable bean

Sam you are the WORST liar right now

Aw Dean being a good Dad

How is Jack gonna buy beer he's 3

Dean why are you scared

That's some freaky cloudy eye

Yes yes yes here are the town kids

Jack is such a cutie talking about lying

No don't break into the

These children are Bad Influences

>Inb4 Jack becomes a ghostfacers fan

"well I'm 2......enty. I'm twenty.....2......I'm twenty two" IM WHEEZING

These kids think they're hot shit lmao

Lol Jack has no ID

why do these kids run the store

That is some GREEN moss

so WHAT IF THAT'S THE MONSTAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay stomach acid doesn't burn that bad

*SAT PTSD*

GAAAAAY

Jack the monster teacher

STOP INSULTING THE WHO RUDE

"what's the sat?"

Jack is freaking out these kids holy cow

Oh no

Not the powers

Uh oh he's gonna stab himself

Oh my God

Jack heal her

Is she ok??

Okay Jack looked really concerned does that mean he has some soul?

Awe sweetie

Okay why did she go running towards the flying knife tho that was really dumb

Those damn white settlers fucking shit up for everyone else

How is this different than a wendigo

Oh I see

Oh that was a really dumb curse they did wtf

Sam is thinking about it ?

Oh Sammy poor baby.

This kid is gonna get himself killed omg

Spooky

Wait is Cas not gonna be in this episode

Excuse me I did not consent to this

I'm MELTING

dang that's some nasty goo

Cue chick flick moment

SAM AND DEAN LEARNING TO PARENT TOGETHER AWWW

Dean's face when he said "they're fake"

No Jack tell the truth

Ehhh 6/10 would've been much better with Cas

[dauntless-dragayn]

Life is Strange fanfiction: All Wounds

   HEY ALL, somethin different for today. I will honestly say I don't read tons of fanfic, call me picky or just, see the truth as being i don't have much spare time to read, period so I've never reviewed one.  BUT. I really want to call attention to one this time, and what better way to do that then by helping out the author with a review? I don't think people realize how much criticism is worth to writers, even taking the time to type out something small is great. (quick note: this review contains spoilers for Lis and BtS. spoilers for the fic itself will be left to the end)   All Wounds by @destiny-smasher is a fic taking place in the Life is Strange universe, almost directly after the 'bae' ending. Throughout, it switches between Max and Chloe's PoVs, however Max is still the main protagonist here. But this is no fluffy feel-good fic (though there is some spots of fluff here and there) it's real and it's painful. It deals with the trauma and emotions that have built up in these women over that fateful week, even their teenage years - stuff that doesn't just magically disappear after the climax. That premise hooked me, because the kind of nitty gritty that often gets ignored in the fandom is exactly what tends to interest me. It actually (minor spoiler!) timeskips after a bit to when they're adults, and when things finally start crashing around their heads .. again.   I will say outright, this isn't for the faint of hearted. It's lonnnng, at 3.5 k words, which rivals many novels!! And it deals with PTSD, mental illness, suicidal ideation, and even a certain amount of psychological horror. Themes present in both games definitely come up again. And no, Max and Chloe's relationship isn't without its bumps. Or rather catastrophic crashes. Don't worry, it'll hurt you but patch those wounds up, by the end. see what i did there   Truthfully, I tried to read it in a RIDICULOUSLY short time frame for Reasons™ (unrelating to the piece) but just could not. I would continuously find myself compelled to slow down, sink into each sentence, into Max’s head or Chloe’s frustrations. I was living in their world more than mine for a few days. It was great - a piece of fresh writing hasn’t done that to me in a while.   I highly recommend taking the time to appreciate this story; it’s ups and downs, romance and time fuckery. If you loved Life is Strange (duh) there’s little reason you wouldn’t love this, too.   You can absolutely tell that this is a project woven together of heart and struggle. Art is never easy when you truly care about the outcome and the fact that this took years of the creator's time and attention stuns me. She did all that mind you, for FREE. Not for publishing, not for profit, not for fame. For a fandom she cares about. Serious writing for fandom is tough, because frankly it's not the easiest medium to sell (sell being used nonliterally here of course, and also, this applies outside of fandom too, just especially so in it) I have an INCREDIBLE amount of admiration for creators like her who dive into these characters they love - but did not create! developing them further, taking them in new directions or continuing them on paths they were already set on -  and write novel length stories or comics for absolutely nothing. You have thoroughly earned my respect.   That’s not to say it’s flawless! Nothing ever is, psh. I do have criticisms here and there, but with those I’ll be more specific, which means they’ll be put under the cut. This is mostly for Destiny-Smasher’s sake, since she is in the process of turning the fic into a visual novel! I’ve read the first few chapters of that too, it’s a cool adaption.   So yeah, if ya haven’t read it, please stop here.   (Also before you go, check out her girlfriend’s art, I’m in love with that too!!)

SPOILERS BEYOND

   Some of these tend to be on the side of minor and nitpicky, I feel, but I'll still go into them. Not trying to be annoying !

  Okay so OBVIOUSLY the repetitiveness of certain scenes or conversations was purposeful, and a big part of how you told this story. And that's GREAT I think you used that unusual element well, certainly paying attention to details. There were some times when it felt repetitive in the wrong places though I think, and I guess I mostly mean some conversations. Or sometimes rather than being repetitive they just felt unnecessary as a whole. If I'm remembering correctly sorry its been a little while by now the conversation between Chloe and Steph in the diner before Chloe realizes she can rewind time now felt like that - just unneeded, like if you had cut or shortened it nothing would be lost. I can't think of any more examples right now, but maybe just keep that in mind?   In general there are definitely a few filler scenes but I hesitate to condemn that because like I said, this world really breaths and feels genuine, and I think those are part of why.   The addition of quotes and especially linked songs was an awesome touch I thought, since ya don't normally get auditory nods like that in writing. There were a few times it broke my immersion but for the most part it was a very appealing layer to your storytelling, so I look forward to seeing that carried out with the adaption.   One thing I didn't like much in general were Chloe's pirate dreams in the second half. I understand that there were some important nods and revelations about what was going on in her psyche, not to mention the role of dream weaving being hinted at, but for the most part they just left me pretty confused.   As far as inconsistencies, I know you were worried about that, but I really think you're fine? Like other than the stuff involving Before the Storm and what that revealed/changed (which you can't be blamed for because this story was written over yEARS) there was nothing major that I noticed. And considering the utter insanity of the timelines n shit, I'm seriously in awe you kept it relatively smooth. I have a HUGLY less complicated story in the works (no time travel) and I still managed to fuck up the timeline. Moving on. :')    I’m embarrassingly forgetful, and that’s all my initial notes on the subject had to say, so I may be missing some things? But yeah, I honestly don’t have much in the negative to say.    So let’s talk about THE plot twist. Yes that one. I remember around, chapter 16.4, the idea piecing together in my mind .. the title of the chapter, her behavior, speaking patterns, the fact that yes, this wasn’t a deviation like any of the others, it was in fact the canon divergence of timeline.... hoLY CRAP ITS OTHER MAX SHES REAL AND - yeah I fangirled a bit. (I was freaking so badly about my theory that I was so sure had to be true - and I was right, heh - that I tried to explain it to my dad. Who, FYI, has minimal knowledge on Life is Strange’s plot, and no hope of understanding the convoluted details of the fic thus far. I finally gave up and went back to reading while squealing excitedly over it in my head. And then I shut up because things got dark)   Just, gods, the details! That was the most satisfying fucking feeling, seeing all these seemingly little or random things come to be crucial. Things like Max clinging to her reality with the wedding bands on her finger, or like Other Max’s particular personality, from being aggressive and upfront more than Max has ever been, to her freaking sexual behavior. Her having red streaks in her hair to represent both sides to her, the cover of the fic and the visual novel not being a symbolic picture but an actual look at the End of Time and Other Max!!   Her falling in love with Stella was definitely a curveball I did not expect, and admittedly I was pRETTY weirded out. Cuz like.. she's engaged to Chloe in the other timeline, and obviously I ship them over anyone else.. I'm not complaining! Just, a very fresh take on Stella and their relationship. Speaking of- it did seem a little strange to me that, after the awkward start to their dating and the mention of how it was going right after, that it never came up again. Obviously things got cut short, but, how was it really working? Did Stella turn out to actually be gay? I interpreted that she was doing it out of a sort of obligation and platonic love for Max, and that she was 1000% straight. Maybe you left that open on purpose? It seemed coded that way, though..   All in all I loved what you did with Other Max. She was an edge of a concept in Life is Strange, in that confrontation scene after the nightmare of episode five - which I loved for its implications - and you took that and RAN with it. So I go in thinking "okay. she's a more literal form of this mental battle Max faces, made so much worse by death shes surrounded by after the storm" And for a while that holds up.. Max finds herself moving on, as a teenager, with Chloe's pushing, and things get better for a while. Great!! Woohoo!   Except ..  the past will always find you .. especially when that past is yourself ... and not even time travel can keep it away forever.   That's the shit you don't see delved into. This power is like, a drug. A limb she's gotten used to and relies on as much as any other. I've never believed she would just, drop it. Does it go away when the storm hits / chloe dies? Maybe, I always thought. But that's so convenient. And without an explanation for why it showed up, we have no basis for why it would go away.   And why not use it, Max convinces herself. ‘I must still have the power for a reason.’ Maybe so, and you've certainly grown, Caulfield, but you are still avoiding consequences. You are still a god amongst mortals, but guess what? That immortal facade can only be contained by a human body for so long. Things start crumbling, and as a reader you see the inevitability of all, feel the hopelessness. She's keeping things from Chloe, BIG fucking things, and I want to reach over and grab her by the shoulder and shake her. "CHLOE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS MINDFUCKED"   I literally couldn't breath for a minute when I realized the implications of the car crash scene, where Max says she's been regularly getting lost in time for months. But, no biggie. Quick weed, call, and you’re right back where you should be. Right? Just wipe the blood off your face, no one will notice.   Damn.   Anyway, enough about that. Remember earlier, when I said 'psychological horror'? Truthfully I don't know if that's the right word for it, or even if its a real thing. But whatever it is, I live for it. People's mind are their own worst enemies, and that bit is ultimately and personally relatable. Max is constantly arguing with herself. But this time, the nightmare - mine, and hers - is creeping into real life. The Other is ripping control from her shaky hands. Its twisting her into someone she never wanted to be - a literal worst version of herself, and, we find out - a real version, just from a different timeline. A broken one. A nonhuman one .. or that's what she says. But as we see this Other raise her voice, and read on in bafflement alongside Max, we get to see that her intentions, aren't necessarily evil. Has she done evil things? Yes. Did Max see her as evil? Yes, and even Chloe did for a while. But the big question I found myself asking, and Chloe eventually challenging is.. is the Other.. still Max? Is the worst reality, the worst view in the mirror, still us? All Wounds says yes. But not to give up hope, far from it - instead that we MUST confront these self made demons, we MUST accept these wounds for them to ever heal.   While spurred by a morality grounding near-death experience, that last fight at the End of Time - while a supernatural slew of symbolism, time travel, and dreamscapes - also sung to me of reality. That's what the best fantastical fiction is.   Amazing.

  To top it all off, the ending chapter was perfect. I'm not gonna lie, I teared up a bit. It felt right, and more importantly, real. Not some overdone fictional fanservice crap. But still the happy ending these women MORE than earned.   Through it all, the exploration of characters who didn't probably get what they deserved in LiS (I'm thinking about Victoria, but also Stella and even Joyce..) was really satisfying and ultimately shifted my perception of them.

  Honestly, there are so many quotable moments throughout this thing. (I have a ton of screenshots of some on my phone, actually.) But I'll go with .. "You Power isn't what makes you special, Max. Stop worrying about fixing. Focus on being. Yes, even those parts. That's all in the past. All I care about now is the future. And I want to share that future with you."

-Chloe 

 What you called experimental bullshit, I applaud. So.. Thanks for writing All Wounds.

[11-11-screenshots]

maria goretti

 I went to a catholic gift store today. on the corner of exchange and high street. Ive known it was there for quite some time as my mother used to bring us there for our free times when we were young. I chose not to go into it for obvious reasons, but at this time at my life, as a pagan and as a recovering ptsd struggling (induced by religious oppression) person, i was intrigued and ready to re-explore as many details of traditional catholicism that i have repressed into the bottom of my mind. Among these are especially the saint related stories, i always found their stories exceptionally skewed and distorted. 

My favorite is maria goretti, the christian skewed ideal of what it means to be raped. 

A man makes advances on maria a young girl, and maria said that shed rather die because sex before marriage is a sin and then shed go to hell oh no.... He then raped her and stabbed her. She died but on her death bed she said that god absolved her of her impurities and that she forgave her murderer. The story goes that he over time because of this became a devoted catholic and leader and changed his life. All because of little maria not saying that rape was harmful, but rather the sin of sex before marriage...

Growing up, my mother was always obsessed with this saint exceedingly more than the others. As a child i never put the two and two together but she glorified her story in such a way that as young children we were to watch the film and read all the stories there were for her.

A few times while we ate lunch for our only free time, she’d put it on the movie and make my sister and i watch it. She quizzed us to make sure we were attentive.

She told us that if any situation as such would come into our lives then at that moment we would offer ourselves to God as martyrs instead of taking the sin of impurity. (Also in roman catholic tradition if you put gods will before your life its like a sure thing that you go to heaven haha)

I knew something was wrong with that concept as a child (along with many others), but i never knew exactly what (as i was uneducated) so i took everything as a grain of salt. My sister on the other hand,  swore her purity and even made maria gorretti her patron saint for her confirmation.

It’s ironic that she would pick a saint for chastity when later she would dable in sex work.

Now that we are grown, i think my sister and i can both agree that maria goretti is the most fucked up story you can teach a child about rape with. We also know now both of us as sexual assault victims, that when you are threatened sexually by a predator its not a fucking bit a glorified experience, or a holy ideal. IT’S RAPE. 

Theres nothing great about it. 

Its fucking horrifying.

the trauma leaves real scars.

God is not involved. 

Even if he was this should NOT BE YOUR MOTIVE

Your process should not be to “convert the man”, or take the blame as you ‘probably did something immodest to provoke it”. 

You have to realize that the predator feels entitled to hurt others for the soul purpose of his own self gratification based on 

THE SAME SOCIETY THAT WOULD GLORIFY SAINT MARIAS STORY.

 the same society of oppression. 

The same society of mysogyny.

 the same society of gender exclusivity. 

The same society that puts religious ideals before basic human rights.

Its fucking awful and if you are catholic and reading this if anything i suggest that you reevaluate the underlying oppression and cynicism behind catholicism moral concerning “chastity”.

It is your body. You have full control over it before any god, any person, any motive or plan. 

But mother fucker, all of these memories as well as others i have yet to discuss flashed through the back of my eyelids today as i sifted through the holy cards and patron saint sacramentals. I bought a medal of st. maria for 75 cents just to remind me of it as well as a few other things.

It’s insane how out of panic i completely forgot about things like this. But at the same time i figure it was my body defending me for my own good. More to come on this excursion....

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 169: Shut Up and Dance

Previously on BnHA: Aoyama creeped on Deku in the middle of the fucking night. A petrified Deku went to take a closer look only to find that Aoyama had left a weird “I KNOW~~” message spelled out on his balcony with fucking cheese. The next day in Cementoss’s class the kids resumed working on special moves. Deku got all brooding and thought about how he couldn’t beat Overhaul even with his absolute max of 20%. Then Aoyama got his attention and carved a possibly-suspicious-or-maybe-just-weird French message into a chunk of rock with his navel laser before collapsing in pain. Deku took Aoyama to rest for a bit and asked him what the cheese message meant. Aoyama said that Deku was like him -- someone who possessed a quirk that didn’t really suit his body. Aoyama himself is unable to control his navel laser without the aid of his support belt. He saw Deku as a kindred spirit and was trying to cheer him up since he knew he was starting to feel frustrated. And thus a new sparkly bond of friendship was born.

Today on BnHA: The kids randomly discuss how great Mina is at dancing and how great Jirou is at music stuff. Later that day, in a pure coincidence, Aizawa announces the upcoming cultural festival. Despite the recent string of villain attacks, the school has decided to go ahead with it as a way to hopefully help the stressed-out student body. 1-A gets to work determining what program their class will do, with people suggesting everything from petting zoos to cafes to “a banquet for students of darkness.” Momo and Iida narrow down everyone’s ridiculous suggestions, but they’re unable to settle on a final program, and Aizawa gives them one day to figure it out. That evening the kids gather in the fanfic dorms and Iida says they should come up with something that will help the other students de-stress. Todoroki of all people suggests that they host a dance party with live music. Jirou is a bit nervous about performing in front of everyone, but with her classmates’ support she agrees to do it. Let the Band AU arc begin.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 195 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS LOOK AT THIS!?!?

THIS IS MY FAVORITE COLOR PAGE EVER OMG

holy shit, I fucking love it. the colors! the (possibly unintentional) Wicked reference! MY LEADING LADY OCHAKO

and it looks like she’s wearing some of Mei’s gear. are we going to see any of these upgrades in her actual costume, or is this all just for the sake of a pretty cover? ah well, either way I love it

AND!!!

CULTURE FESTIVAL OMGGGGGG

lord I can’t even begin to imagine what a U.A. culture festival might be like. somehow I can’t quite picture them doing the typical cafe theme lol

oh my god you guys

MINA BREAKDANCING. 

you guys. ever since she got a bunch of bullies to dance with her in the middle of Kirishima’s flashback I’ve been wanting more of this lol

Deku is analyzing her moves, and it’s only just now occurred to me that this might be part of a new technique of hers and not just her spontaneously breaking out into a dance battle in the middle of the locker room

(ETA: nope just dancing. Mina is the best you guys)

lol now Deku says he wants to try and Mina’s volunteering to show him!

YESSSSSSSSS

NOW GET IIDA. HE NEEDS TO BE IN ON THIS. OH MY GOD. YOU GUYS. IT’S HAPPENINGGGGG

(ETA: this arc is a gift in so many ways)

oh hey Kaminari is casually hyping up Jirou’s hobby without any prompting!

is he trying to embarrass her or does he genuinely think it’s cool? OR MAYBE BOTH. WHY NOT. I REALLY DO SHIP THE SHIT OUT OF THIS DAMN TRIO NOW, DON’T I

he’s saying that her bedroom looked like “a music store” that one time they all went to see it

and he looks genuinely impressed, so I think it’s not teasing at all and he does in fact really think it’s cool

he says she must be a music pro and he’s asking how often she practices

and she’s getting all blushy and threatening him with one of her earjacks lol

he seems confused d’aww

(ETA: nice little bit with Kouda here which is followed up on later when he encourages her to perform and says it’s a skill well suited for a hero. I adore this sweet little friendship they have since taking that final exam together.)

she’s just shy, the way that some people are about the parts of themselves that are really personal. that means it’s really important to her and she’s maybe not fully ready to share it just yet

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

SO I HEARD

the class is losing their minds

IS IT SO FUCKING WRONG TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE NORMAL SCHOOL THING JESUS CHRIST. WE JUST SAT THROUGH FORTY CHAPTERS OF ANGST AND CHILD TORTURE. LET ME HAVE THIS, CHILDREN

!!

AIZAWA SHOUTA DID YOU REALLY ACTUALLY ADOPT THIS LITTLE GIRL OMG. PLEASE SAY YES. OMGGGGG

take her to the festival. let her come visit. omg. I will die of joy if that happens

(ETA: I did, in fact, die of joy)

so now the class is trying to figure out what to do

Kirishima is asking if it’s really okay “for us to be so carefree” at this particular juncture

Kiri were you not listening to a word I just fucking said. YES. y’all need to fucking relax for once in your damn lives

Kaminari is SHOCKED and is all “Kirishima you’ve changed, huh?”

but Kiri says it’s a valid concern though with all the villains running amok right now

Aizawa says that’s a fair point, but U.A. doesn’t revolve solely around the department of heroics

look at this Department of Management asshole acting like he’s going to get as big of a role in the series as Shinsou or Mei. haha you wish buddy

Aizawa says that this year’s festival will be made less public though, and will only occur within the school

well, good. honestly if y’all tried to pull more shit like the sports festival again at this juncture I would be raising some eyebrows, believe me

so they’re going to be deciding on their theme today! yaaaaay omgg

I’m going to take a wild guess here and predict that it will be something music related. since we had breakdancing Mina and music prodigy Jirou earlier. and also I’m really going to be needing that dancing Iida, you guys. I’m not kidding. we need to get on that stat

so finally Iida is taking charge, and tbh he was being remarkably restrained up till this point because I was expecting him to do this much earlier

he’s telling everyone to raise their hands if they have a suggestion

this class is full of passion

naturally the first suggestion is of course the classic

maybe if this was EVERY ANIME EVER. but this is BnHA! we can do better guys, come on!!

and we’ll just ignore Mineta

Ochako is suggesting a mochi shop! oh! I’m remembering that new years illustration now and I would love that tbh. but I don’t think that’s what we’re gonna end up with

look at all of these other ideas though

I love the idea of crepes and I’m already sad that they won’t end up going with that

Kouda’s idea is also amazing. and Kiri’s is super original

and Tokoyami’s I first read as “banquet of students” and I thought, that’s odd. I know he’s goth but I didn’t think he’d be out here suggesting cannibalism

but based on Kami’s stare, yeah, I’m pretty sure we’re gonna end up doing the music thing. CLASS 1-A DISCO. U.A. RAVE. AW YIHHH

wow

can you guys pick out which suggestion was Bakugou’s. it’s pretty easy tbh. study hall duhhhhhh

I actually love that the ideas we didn’t actually see can be so easily traced back to their originators. Deku’s hero quiz. Shouto’s soba house. Tsuyu’s “frog music chorus”, whatever that is. Ojiro’s martial arts performance. and so forth

Momo is now ruthlessly putting an end to the charade of diplomacy and erasing the ones that are “inappropriate or unrealistic” and “the ones that I don’t really understand” lmao

now the kids are getting back at the two reps by shooting down their own suggestions

and she’s combining the food themes into one, over Satou and Shouto’s protests that soba and crepes would “clash”

now things are getting out of hand

aaand the bell is ringing

Aizawa’s walking out and telling them all to make a decision by tomorrow morning

omg

oh damn

so now it’s nighttime in the fanfic dorms and 40-year-old Iida Tenya is in his relaxed business casual clothes watching youtube videos

I guess the rest of the gang must be here even though we’re not seeing them yet, because there are speech bubbles talking

I swear to god that boy really does go to bed at eight fucking pm every damn night. but why, though?? does he lie awake broodingly into the wee hours of the morning? does he go to bed early in order to wake up at the asscrack of dawn to work out? or does he just need the extra sleep because he’s a growing boy who runs at full steam shouting and blowing things up all day long and it’s just exhausting to be him? like, all three of these seem plausible to me lol

and then of course there’s the beloved fandom headcanon of him having PTSD and dealing with lots of nightmares too, and while we have really seen nothing in canon to hint at that, I’m obviously not going to dismiss any theory with that much Bakugou angst potential completely out of hand lol

but I think it’s probably the second and third one mostly tbh

as for the intern group, are they taking supplementary classes to make up for what they missed while they were out interning? that really is a lot of work, huh. no wonder the school decided to put an end to those for now

anyway, so Iida says that now that he’s had more time to think about it, he thinks they should come up with a theme that would assist the other departments in letting off some steam since they’re stressed out

that’s actually so thoughtful and pure

so Momo (at least I think it’s her?) is saying that in that case, they shouldn’t bother with a food theme since the U.A. kids are already accustomed to Lunch Rush’s food and it’s really hard to top that

so now they’ve narrowed it down to just a few options

they’re shooting down the petting zoo as “unsanitary”, wow. wow guys. so you don’t think that getting a bunch of cute baby animals for everyone to pet would help them to de-stress, huh. kay. I see how it is

oh my god

of all the people to end up suggesting this idea, he’s honestly the last person I would have expected

YESSSSSS U.A. UP IN THE CLUB

why is he the cutesttttt

LMAO

IT’S NOT LIKE THAT BUT I LOVE THE WAY YOUR MIND WORKS SUGAR MAN

oh my god. I will take this thought bubble of Bakugou and Todo getting lit in the club and I will keep it in my heart forever

Sero is objecting that it’ll be stressful (for them), but Mina says she can teach them all how to dance

LMAO AGAIN

yes look at him he has clearly mastered it

Mineta is now stepping in and saying that if they’re gonna turn class 1-A into New York’s Hottest Club then they’re gonna need some sick beats

AND NOW EVERYONE IS STARING AT YOU KNOW WHO

BRITNEY, BITCH

lol she’s going red again and is all “uh, what?”

Hagakure’s jumping in with the encouragement!

YESSSS YOU CAN DO IT JIROU YOU ROCK

but she’s getting all shy again and says it’s just a hobby

and now Kaminari’s having a flash of insight!

COME ON KAMI THIS IS YOUR MOMENT

YESSSS

god I ship it. he’s just so genuinely nice and encouraging. class A’s dumbest, sweetest boy

and now Kouda is also running over and says that it’s a skill that can put a smile on people’s faces and for that reason he does think it’s heroic

AND NOW HER GIRLFRIEND MOMO IS STEPPING IN PROTECTIVELY AND TELLING THEM THAT’S VERY NICE OF THEM, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY IT’S JIROU’S DECISION

god this chapter is MomoJirouKami heaven and I’m on cloud fucking nine

YAAAAAY SHE’S GONNA DO IT

not if you don’t want to, I guess? though ngl that would be amazing

so with that, class A’s program is decided!

um. is this supposed to be important to the plot? who tf is this

(ETA: lol it both is and it isn’t. it’s relevant to the arc, but this arc is probably the least plot relevant in the series. though that doesn’t mean it’s not a complete and utter delight)

anyway! WHOOO HOOOO, SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME

I have no idea which bonus page goes with this chapter lol. so I’m just gonna skip it for now