#Glad he made something that he felt he needed to
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Hi! I was wondering If you'd be up for writing shy reader with Remus and him being just as flustered over her? Thank you!!
Out Of Order
a/n: Thank you for requesting this was cute! <3
Word count: 0.5k
Remus heard the bell ring at the shop but paid no mind, really. He was assigned to the register, but the day was slow, and everyone who had come in so far had left without a book.
The customer who walked in didn’t seem to need help. No one interrupted him, so Remus was deep into his book, slouched over the counter, when he heard someone shuffle, as if trying to make noise.
Then he heard a voice, “Hi.”
The sound of it alone caused him to freeze as he looked up. He blinked quickly, adjusting the reading glasses resting on his nose. The smile the stranger gave him made him clear his throat, sit up straight, and ditch the glasses altogether.
“Sorry. Sorry, uh, yeah?”
The smile you gave him made his cheeks flush, but he blamed it on the heater being right next to him.
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you. I just… I wanted to buy this,” you said, holding the book out to him. “I’m half convinced I should buy whatever book you’re reading. You didn’t notice I was here for like four minutes.” It was a joke, he thought, but he forgot to laugh, his eyes fixated on you as if trying to memorize your face.
You mistook his staring for judgment and cleared your throat. “I was just—”
He cut you off.
“Sorry, sorry! I swear I’m usually better at my job. Yeah, the book’s uh, good. I honestly think I just zoned out,” he said sheepishly. “But sure, I can ring this up for you.” He cringed at himself. “Obviously. That’s why you came up to me.”
You relaxed, realizing he was probably just a bit socially awkward—almost more than you.
You realized you should probably say something, but there was too long of a pause to continue, so you asked something else, “You like working here, then?”
Remus let out a breath, glad to move on. “Yeah, it’s nice. I don’t really have to do much. You’re the first person who’s actually bought something today,” he said, scanning the book’s barcode. The book you chose was part of a series Remus had read out of order. “The fourth book is horrible.”
You raised a brow. “You’ve read it?” The cover was purple, and you were surprised. He didn’t look like someone who would read it, but maybe that was just stereotypical. He looked smart, and his hair looked soft, and he smelled good, and—
“Well, not that one exactly. But the fourth book, yes.” He laughed a little. “Actually, now that I think about it, I might’ve only thought it was so bad because I had no idea what was going on without reading the first three.”
He watched you huff a little, a breathless laugh. “Yeah, that’s probably it,” you said, your voice soft, and he leaned in a bit to hear it, wanting to soak it up.
“You can let me know how it goes, then.” He felt his cheeks burn at the implication. “If you come back to buy the second one, I mean.”
He noticed the slight pink tinge to the apples of your cheeks, and he felt slightly better. He passed the bag to you, shuddering slightly when he felt your fingertips brush his.
You nodded, looking flustered. “Sure.” With that, you quickly exited the store, a grin on your face and ears tipped red.
#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#mauraders#harry potter#harry potter fandom#mauraders era#remus x reader#marauders#remus lupin fanfiction#marauders era#remus lupin x you#remus lupin prompt#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin x self insert#all photos from pintrest#x reader
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*·˚ FIRST KISS HEADCANONS : SUNDAY *·˚
Yeah, Sunday escalated a little, which is why he was moved to this post, lol. That's...kinda throwing off my initial plan for these posts. Anyways, bone app the teeth??
*·˚ warnings/info: well, there's obviously going to be mentions of kissing; reader implied to be shorter than Sunday. *·˚ english isn't my native language!
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⭒˚。⋆ Sunday ⭒˚。⋆
⇢ Sunday the kinda guy to have his first kiss after an old-fashioned date or something. I mean, my characterizations of everyone keep changing more extremely than the weather in Germany, but yeah, bare with me for the current one. ⇢ Spending time with Sunday (and sometimes Robin) was almost like an everyday occurrence to you. You were...friends? Well, you certainly were close. It wasn't unusual for you to be alone with him, have long conversations about nothing and everything, go out to get dinner with him. ⇢ And you didn't expect today to look any different when he invited you over to spend time with him at his place, thinking he just needed some company in Robin's absence. After all, you were close, and that's what people who got along with each other did - spend time together. ⇢ But, as you spent time with him, laughing over anything you found funny enough, you felt the energy between you was...different than usual. Sometimes you caught Sunday looking at you a little longer than usual, physical touch lingering, and eventually, you found yourself standing beside him on a balcony, overlooking the Morning Dew Dreamscape, your meeting slowly coming to an end.
''I don't think I'll ever get over this view,'' you sighed, leaning against the railing as you watched Morning Dew's sunrise. You had been to a handful of different Dreamscapes, but nothing could ever compare to those that shared the beauty of the morning sun with you. Beside you, Sunday chuckled softly, his shoulder almost brushing yours as he joined you, ''Well, maybe there's a beautiful sunrise somewhere out there just waiting for you to finally witness it.'' ''I have to find a way off this place first, no?'' you quipped, glancing over at him, ''And I guess I can't really do that until Robin returns. Can't just leave you alone, can I?'' When your eyes met his, you found that Sunday had already been looking at you, a gentle expression on his face. ''Well, I'm glad you're still around,'' he muttered quietly, his smile making you flustered, ''I don't think there's anyone whose company I enjoy more.'' ''Yeah? Huh, I don't think Robin would want to hear that,'' you joked, your voice softer than before, almost hesitant. The atmosphere around you was changing, the innocence of the early morning hours suddenly filled with another emotion, one you couldn't name just yet. Sunday just laughed at your response, turning to face the sun, ''I doubt she'd be surprised.'' ''I'm sure she realized it long before I did,'' he continued, catching you slightly off-guard. With a perplexed expression, you just stared at him, repeating his words in your head. You knew that Sunday considered you someone he shared a close relationship with - otherwise, you wouldn't be here right now - but it still made your heart skip a beat to hear him voice it all so openly. In the pale morning light, you found yourself entranced by him, watching the way the soft rays danced across his face, making his golden eyes shine even brighter than you had ever seen. His words kept repeating in your head, quietly, like a choir as your mind went through all the possible meanings behind the simple sentence. ''I hope she doesn't mind that I'm her brother's favorite,'' you finally spoke again, sounding far more off than you had expected, making Sunday turn to meet your gaze. He was smiling, a mixture of amusement and endearment on his face, ''She knew that it was bound to happen.'' ''Besides,'' he added, turning around to fully face you, ''I care about the two of you in very different ways. Robin is my sister, my family. And I love her the way you love your own blood.'' A heartbeat of silence. The world around you seemed to slow down, the ambiance noise as if muted while Sunday continued his speech, ''While my feelings for you and my sister aren't...that unalike, there is an important distinction. I feel familial love for Robin, while I feel something much deeper for you.'' The beating inside your chest made you think your heart was about to break out of your rib cage, and you didn't even realize that you had stopped breathing, unable to break eye contact as you stared at the man, straightening up while trying to process his words. Neither of you was saying anything right now. You were both just looking at each other, the atmosphere completely changed. Sunday seemed as if he was expecting an answer, but your mind was racing in overdrive, unable to form coherent thoughts. And, while Sunday was starting to grow slightly nervous given your...lack of response to his ''confession'', something inside you just- switched. The words came out of your mouth before you could stop them, catching not just you, but also the man off-guard. ''May I kiss you?'' Another heartbeat of silence. Then, a soft chuckle, relief flooding Sunday's expression, ''You may.'' And you did, leaning forward, the nervousness terrorizing you as your lips met his in a soft, brief kiss before you pulled away again, your hands shaking slightly.
You were about to say something, comment on...everything that had been said and done today, but before you could come to word, Sunday cut you off with another kiss, this one longer, deeper, and as you stood there in the light of the early morning sun, you found yourself hoping the moment would never pass.
Sunday held you close after that, his forehead resting against yours as you just stood there, allowing the rays of sunlight to engulf you, the pale golden hue like a sign that you had made the right choice, that you had found the right one.
For the longest time, neither of you wanted to leave, lost in the other's embrace until Sunday slowly pulled away, a sigh escaping his lips, ''I fear I probably have to get back to work.''
''I- I know,'' you muttered, looking up at him, ''Just...a few more minutes? Is that alright? I just...I don't want you to leave yet.'' Your voice was quiet, almost fragile. You couldn't remember the last time you sounded this vulnerable.
And Sunday noticed, eyes widening momentarily before he began to smile, grabbing your chin to tilt your head up and place another brief kiss to your lips, ''Just a few more minutes, then I'll have to get back. But you're welcome to stay with me if you want.''
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The Bodyguard- Last Part
Link to all parts in the end.
SimonGhostRileyxfemalereader
This part contains angst
The first light of morning drifted through the blinds, casting soft shadows across the room. You stretched beneath the sheets, your body deliciously sore, a quiet reminder of last night's passion. But as you blinked your eyes open, the space beside you was empty, the covers rumpled, his warmth already faded. A faint smile tugged at your lips as you imagined where he might be.
You climbed out of bed, padding to the bathroom to freshen up, the chill of the tile beneath your feet a stark contrast to the heat that still lingered from the night before. After a quick shower, you slipped into a pair of jeans and a simple tank top, feeling the soft fabric slide against your skin as you brushed your damp hair back.
Following the quiet sounds drifting from the other side of the door, you made your way toward the kitchen, the scent of coffee meeting you halfway. And then, you spotted him standing at the counter, his broad back turned to you, bare save for the sweatpants that hung low on his hips. The muscles in his shoulders and arms moved as he worked, his movements casual yet precise. You paused, admiring the way the morning light played over the contours of his back, a quiet strength that stirred something deep inside you.
Without a sound, you tiptoed across the room, stepping up behind him. Wrapping your arms around his waist, you pressed yourself against his warm, solid frame, your cheek resting against the smooth skin between his shoulder blades. He stilled, his hands pausing on the coffee mug he'd been reaching for, and for a moment, he simply breathed, savouring the feel of you wrapped around him.
"Good morning," you murmured, your voice muffled against his back, a hint of a smile in your tone.
He chuckled softly, a low, rumbling sound that you felt reverberate through his chest. Turning his head just enough to catch a glimpse of you over his shoulder, he reached down, his hand finding yours where it rested against his stomach. His thumb brushed gently over your knuckles, the simple gesture sending a warm thrill through you.
"Morning, love," he replied, his voice still thick with sleep, rich and warm like the coffee he'd just poured.
For a while, you stayed there, wrapped around him, your heartbeat settling in time with his. And in that quiet morning light, with nothing but the sound of your steady breaths and the faint clinking of dishes in the kitchen, you knew you could stay like this forever.
Ghost chuckled softly as you lingered in silence, lost in the warmth of his embrace. He turned in your arms, slipping his hands around you and pulling you closer, his sleepy smile melting as he gazed down at you.
"Cat got your tongue, huh?" he teased, his fingers tracing slow, gentle circles along your back. His voice was low, still rough from sleep, carrying a softness that made your heart flutter.
You smiled, resting your hands against his bare chest. "Just... happy," you murmured.
His smile softened at your words, and he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Me neither. I'm still not used to it, to be honest," he admitted, his gaze searching yours, as if he needed to memorize every detail of this moment. With a sigh, he pulled you even closer, tucking your head beneath his chin, his arms wrapped protectively around you. "But I'm glad we're together. You're mine now, and I don't plan on letting you go anytime soon."
You laughed softly, glancing over his shoulder at the stove. "Hmm... what are you making? Never knew my bodyguard could cook, too."
He laughed, shaking his head as he moved away for a moment to grab eggs and bacon from the fridge. "I'm not just a bodyguard, babe. I can do other things too," he replied, a playful spark in his eyes as he turned back to the stove, muscles flexing under his skin as he worked.
You leaned against the counter, arms folded, a teasing smile on your face. "Yeah, I thought you could only boil eggs..."
Ghost snorted, casting you a smirk over his shoulder. "You thought I was just some guy who can only make eggs? I'm hurt, babe." He finished cooking the eggs, plating them and handing one to you, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
You accepted the plate, grinning. "But I bet you can't cook as well as I can."
Rolling his eyes, he pretended to look offended. "Oh, so now you're doubting my cooking skills? I'll have you know, I'm a great cook." He took a bite of his eggs, watching you with a smirk. "And I'm definitely better than you."
You laughed, shaking your head. "Maybe you're better at killing enemies or fighting in warzones, but you can't fight in the kitchen."
He chuckled, the sound low and warm, his smirk widening. "Oh, so you're saying I'm better at killing people than cooking? That's a low blow, babe." He stepped closer, amusement dancing in his eyes. "But I guess I can't argue with that. You do have a point."
Before you could reply, a sudden shift in his expression caught your attention. His gaze flicked to the small television in the corner of the kitchen, his face hardening as he absorbed the news report flashing across the screen. He tensed, jaw tightening.
"Diego's dead," he said, his voice dropping to a cold, lethal whisper. His eyes flicked back to you, searching your face.
A relieved sigh escaped your lips, and you reached out, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Yeah. You killed him, thankfully."
Ghost's expression softened, his hand stilling in yours. You saw a flicker of something almost like guilt in his eyes, but he forced it down, nodding slowly as he turned off the TV. "Yeah. I did."
You looked up at him, feeling the weight of the past few days lift from your shoulders. "You didn't have a choice. He would have taken me, and God knows what he'd have done."
Ghost nodded again, his gaze steady on yours. "I know. I had to protect you. I couldn't let him lay a finger on you." He stepped closer, his hand reaching up to gently brush your cheek, his thumb tracing a tender line along your skin. "I'd do anything to keep you safe, you know that."
A gentle smile tugged at your lips, and you nodded, feeling warmth spread through you at the intensity in his eyes. "Well, now the threat is neutralized. I can go out and enjoy myself without looking over my shoulder."
He let out a soft, relieved sigh, pulling you into his arms once more, holding you close as if reassuring himself you were still there, still safe. "Yeah," he murmured. "You don't have to worry about that anymore. You can go out and do whatever you want without worrying about Diego or anyone else."
A thought crossed your mind, and you looked up at him, a playful smile forming. "The chef's not coming today. Why don't we go out and celebrate your victory, hmm?"
A smile lit his face, his eyes filled with warmth and affection as he looked down at you. "Yeah, let's do it. Just you and me." He reached down, taking your hand in his, his grip gentle yet steady, a silent promise in the simple gesture. "Anywhere you want to go, babe."
The day passed in a blur, and by evening, you were ready. You slipped into the black, backless silk dress, its soft fabric gliding over your skin, and added a pair of classic Louboutins to complete the look. A spritz of your favourite perfume lingered in the air, and as you fastened a final earring, you felt his eyes on you.
Ghost stood in the doorway, dressed in black slacks and a crisp white button-down shirt, his familiar black mask covering the lower half of his face. His gaze raked over you, lingering on the elegant curve of your exposed back. You could feel the intensity of his stare, a weight that sent a shiver down your spine. He looked away for a moment, as though grounding himself, before looking back with a small smile in his eyes.
"You look stunning, babe."
"Thanks," you replied, extending a hand toward him.
Ghost took it, his fingers lacing with yours, his touch warm and reassuring. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, his voice deep with anticipation. "Ready to go?"
"Always," you murmured, a smile playing on your lips.
With that, he led you out of the mansion and into his car, his hand steadying you as you slid inside. The drive to the city was peaceful, filled with comfortable silence, the two of you simply savouring each other's company as the lights of the city sparkled in the distance. When he pulled up to the entrance of an opulent, seven-star restaurant, he stepped out and walked around to your side, offering his hand once more.
"Wow," he murmured as he looked up at the grandeur of the building before glancing back at you with a smirk. "This place is amazing. Let's go inside and enjoy the night."
He led you into the restaurant, his hand resting gently at the small of your back. Inside, the ambience was refined and elegant, with soft lighting and hushed voices. Ghost scanned the room, searching for a private corner. He found a table near the back, secluded from the rest, and guided you there, pulling out a chair for you before taking his own seat across from you.
"Here we go. This table should be perfect."
As you both settled in, you placed your orders, and a comfortable silence filled the space between you as you ate. Every so often, his gaze would flick up, his eyes catching on the way the candlelight played against the silk of your dress. The moments stretched in a quiet intimacy, the kind where no words were necessary.
Finally, after a long pause, he cleared his throat, his voice gentle as he broke the silence. "You know," he said, his eyes warm as they met yours, "you look stunning in that dress."
The night had been perfect, an elegant dinner at a seven-star restaurant, the soft glow of candles flickering between the two of you, the hum of distant conversations blending into the background. Ghost had been relaxed, enjoying the rare moment of peace away from the chaos of his life. He had smiled more than usual, laughing at your jokes, his dark eyes warm and affectionate as they studied you across the table.
But that peace was short-lived.
As you drove back to the mansion, Ghost's phone buzzed with a WhatsApp message. It was from an unknown number, but when he saw the video thumbnail, his stomach dropped. He didn't even hesitate before tapping it. The video played.
His knuckles turned white around the steering wheel as his heart sank.
There, on the screen, was a grainy but unmistakable image of you, with Diego. The man he had just killed. The same man who had threatened you, who had kidnapped you, who had held so much power over your life. His fingers tightened around the phone, his face going rigid as he froze for a moment. The video continued, showing a part of your intimate encounter that he had never imagined would exist.
A low growl escaped his throat as he turned to look at you. His voice was cold and harsh, barely contained. "What the fuck is this?"
You felt his gaze, sharp and heavy, and your stomach churned. The air between you instantly thickened. The sound of the engine seemed to fade away, the world around you silenced as you turned your head toward him.
"What the hell is this?" Ghost's words hit you like a slap, even before he raised his hand to show you the screen. The video. Your stomach twisted, nausea creeping up your throat.
You stared at it, your heart hammering in your chest as you tried to process the situation. Your mind raced, but your mouth couldn't find the words. Your body went still, instinctively wanting to shrink away from the anger radiating off him.
"Where did you get this?" you whispered, barely able to keep your voice steady.
He was seething. The vein in his neck pulsed with fury as he kept his gaze locked on you. "Where do you think I got it? It's a fucking video of you with Diego... the same man who kidnapped you, held you hostage, and who I just fucking killed."
He let out a ragged breath, his voice low and dangerous. "Tell me, why didn't you tell me about this? Why the hell didn't you tell me the man who hurt you... was also the one who you..."
He couldn't even finish his sentence, his mind struggling to reconcile what he had just seen.
You swallowed hard, struggling to find the words. "It wasn't like that, Ghost. It was a moment... I didn't know he'd record it... it didn't mean anything."
His eyes narrowed. "A moment?" He scoffed, shaking his head. "You had a moment with the bastard who held you captive?" His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter, knuckles pale as his chest heaved with frustration. "You think that's just a moment? You think I should just forget that this sick fuck recorded it and now it's in my face?"
You opened your mouth to respond, to explain, but his anger overpowered any words you could say. You could feel his frustration in the tightness of his voice, the way his hands trembled with barely-contained fury.
"How could you keep this from me?" His voice cracked, the hurt and betrayal seeping into his words now. "You knew what Diego did to you, you knew what he was capable of, and you didn't think this was something I needed to know?"
Tears began to well up in your eyes, but you fought to stay composed. This wasn't the time to break down.
"I didn't think it was important," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "I didn't think... this moment mattered. It's over now. He's gone. It didn't mean anything."
But that didn't calm Ghost. His fury only grew as your words settled in. He slammed the phone down onto the dashboard with a force that made you flinch. "Not important? Not important? You-" His voice was tight with emotion, shaking with rage.
Before you could react, he whipped around to face you, his hand raised in the air.
In the blink of an eye, the slap came. His hand made contact with your cheek, the sting reverberating through your face. The shock of it hit you like a truck. You gasped, your hand instinctively flying to your cheek as the pain radiated across your skin.
You blinked back the tears, your face turning red with both the sting and the humiliation. The silence that followed was deafening, thick with tension.
You stared at him in disbelief, the world around you spinning. But the hurt was too much, and you couldn't look at him anymore. You hid your face in your hands, desperately trying to shield yourself from the raw pain of his betrayal.
"It's over," you whispered, your voice barely audible through your trembling hands. "It's over, Ghost."
His heart sank at your words. He felt his chest tighten with panic, but he couldn't bring himself to speak. "What? No. It can't be over," he choked out, his voice full of desperation. "You're mine. Don't do this."
You wiped your face with your palms, trying to steady yourself, but the tears were already falling. "Take the next flight to England tomorrow," you said, your voice raw. "I don't need your protection anymore. I don't need you as my bodyguard. Not like this."
His chest tightened, his mind struggling to process your words. "No... please. You don't mean that. I'll do anything. Just... just let me fix this."
But you shook your head, your words cutting through him like a blade. "No. I don't want to hear it. I'm done, Ghost. It's over."
You turned your face away from him, your entire body tense with the weight of the situation. The silence between you both felt suffocating, and it was only broken when you looked at him one last time.
"Drive back to the mansion. Now," you ordered, your voice firm.
He felt his chest constrict, his anger mixing with heartbreak as he glanced at you, but the finality in your voice told him there was no way to undo this.
With one last, lingering glance, Ghost nodded and began to pull out of the restaurant parking lot, the tension in the car thicker than it had ever been between the two of you. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to lose you. But he had no choice. He started the drive back to the mansion, the miles ahead of him feeling longer than any he had ever driven before.
The quiet, oppressive silence enveloped both of you. Every second that passed seemed like a decade, and he knew, deep down, this was the last time he would be with you.
He just didn't know if he could live with that.
The drive to the mansion was a long, silent stretch, each mile feeling like an eternity. Ghost's knuckles were still white from gripping the steering wheel, and his mind raced with a storm of emotions. He didn't want this. He didn't want to leave you. But the words you had spoken hung in the air between you, unspoken but heavier than anything else. "It's over."
As the mansion loomed ahead, he couldn't bring himself to say a word. He parked the car in the driveway, his mind still a haze of confusion and pain. The heavy silence lingered as you climbed out of the car, slamming the door behind you. Ghost's heart lurched in his chest, but he didn't chase after you. He knew better than to push you when you were this angry.
Without looking back, you stormed inside, slamming the door to your bedroom so hard it rattled the entire frame. The sound echoed in the quiet of the mansion, a loud finality to the moment.
Ghost stood there for a moment, his fists clenched at his sides. He stared at the door where you had disappeared, unable to move. The weight of everything that had just transpired crashed down on him. He wanted to go to you, to beg you to reconsider, but he knew that would only make things worse.
But leaving... leaving you like this? He couldn't accept it. He couldn't leave without knowing he had done everything he could to make things right. But what could he say? What was left to say?
He stood there for another long minute, battling the overwhelming need to just hold you, to make everything right again. But he knew it was futile. The decision had been made.
With a heavy sigh, he turned away from your bedroom door, walking through the mansion with mechanical steps. He didn't want to leave Los Angeles, not like this, not when everything felt so unresolved. He wanted to be close by, to keep an eye on you, to hope-just hope-that you would change your mind.
He knew you better than anyone, and though he couldn't fathom it, part of him still clung to the belief that this wasn't the end.
He grabbed his phone and quickly accessed the CCTV system, syncing it with his device. It was something he'd set up early on when he started working with you, ensuring your safety. Now, it was the only thing that might give him some peace of mind. The cameras around the house provided him with a connection to you, even if you were angry and shut off from him.
His eyes lingered on the camera feed for a moment, the image of your bedroom door standing there like a barrier between you and him. He swallowed hard, fighting back the pang of pain that seemed to gnaw at him with each passing second. He could see the faint outline of your silhouette through the curtains as you moved around your room, but you were distant, unreachable.
He had to leave, but his feet felt rooted to the floor. The thought of not being there to protect you, to make things right, tore him apart. His chest ached as he quickly packed his bag, knowing he had no other choice.
He walked down the hallway to brief the security guards. They all knew what had happened, the tension palpable in the air. Ghost didn't need to say much; his expression said it all. He briefed them quickly, making sure they knew the changes in security protocols and the extra precautions they had to take.
"Stay alert," he said, his voice cold, clipped. "There's no telling who's still out there, and I don't want any surprises. Maintain the same measures. We'll keep a close watch on her." His gaze flicked briefly toward your bedroom door.
One of the guards nodded, sensing the heaviness in the air. "Understood, sir."
Ghost threw one last glance in the direction of your bedroom door, his heart twisting in his chest. His mind screamed to stay, to make you see reason, but he knew you needed space. This wasn't about him anymore. This was about you finding your own way, and if that meant he had to leave, then that's what he'd do.
He turned away, his boots heavy against the floor as he made his way to the front door. He stepped outside, the cool night air hitting his face as he climbed into his car.
There was no longer any point in staying in the mansion. His presence would only make things harder for both of you. He needed distance, and maybe, just maybe, time would heal the wounds he'd caused.
He didn't head back to the house he'd rented. Instead, he drove to a small, rundown motel on the outskirts of LA. He wasn't staying at some fancy hotel where he'd be surrounded by people; he needed to be alone, to think. It wasn't the most comfortable place, but that didn't matter. He needed solitude.
When he checked into the motel, the receptionist barely glanced at him. He didn't care. He was too focused on his own thoughts to pay attention to the dingy surroundings. He tossed his bag onto the bed and sat on the edge, his elbows resting on his knees as his head hung low.
For the first time in a long while, Ghost felt utterly lost.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, pulling him out of his thoughts. He grabbed it, half-expecting it to be you, but when he saw the screen, it wasn't. It was a message from his team, confirming the new security arrangements. Ghost exhaled sharply and shoved the phone back into his pocket.
He stared at the peeling wallpaper, the flickering light above him casting strange shadows in the room. His mind kept drifting back to you. He couldn't shake the image of you walking away from him, the pain in your eyes as you slammed the door, the finality of your words still echoing in his mind.
He had failed. He knew that. But something inside him-something deep and raw-refused to let go.
Maybe you'll change your mind, he thought, though he wasn't sure if he was convincing himself or just hoping for something impossible.
But for now, all he could do was wait. Wait, and try to heal, even if he wasn't sure where the healing would take him.
The night had felt cold and silent, leaving you with an odd feeling of emptiness. Without Ghost around, the mansion felt too big, too still. You tried to sleep, but thoughts of Diego, of everything you hadn't told Ghost, kept swirling in your mind. You regretted not explaining everything, the weight of your secrecy pressing down on you.
The fear of the video getting leaked gnawed at you. You knew it could ruin everything. But you'd already told Ghost to leave, to go back to England, and now you were left alone in this vast, quiet house.
Somewhere in the middle of the night, you felt it-a light touch against your cheek, soft and cold. You jolted awake, eyes wide in the darkness as your heart raced. A figure stood near your bed, half-hidden in shadows.
"Who...who are you?" you whispered, voice shaking.
The figure shifted slightly, stepping closer until a bit of moonlight fell on his face. You gasped as the face reminded you instantly of Diego, though the man standing before you wore a twisted, vengeful expression.
"I'm Diego's brother," he said, his voice low and venomous. "And I'm here to finish what he started."
Your blood ran cold as his words sank in. You felt the urge to scream, to cry out, but you knew there was no one left in the house who would hear you.
Panicked, you tried to make a break for it, hoping to reach the door, but he moved faster than you expected. His hand shot out, grabbing you by your hair and yanking you back. You cried out in pain, your hands instinctively reaching up to claw at his grip, but he held tight, smirking as he watched you struggle.
In his motel room, Ghost had been trying to get some sleep, though he'd barely managed to rest. His instincts wouldn't let him completely switch off. His phone buzzed softly on the nightstand, and he glanced at it. The CCTV feed from your mansion was up, and as he rubbed his eyes, something caught his attention-a figure moving in the shadows near your room.
Ghost sat up, tension flooding through him as he watched the footage. His breath caught when he saw Diego's brother yank you out of bed, grabbing you roughly by the hair. Ghost didn't waste another second. He leapt up, grabbed his keys, and raced out of the motel room.
In the car, he dialed for SWAT backup, his voice a growl as he explained the situation and demanded immediate assistance. His mind was laser-focused as he sped down the dark streets toward your mansion, every second dragging on like an eternity.
When he arrived, the place looked deserted. None of your guards were at their posts outside, and he could feel that something was terribly wrong. Ghost slipped out of the car, moving silently across the lawn until he reached a side entrance. He forced the door open, slipping into the dimly lit hallway, his footsteps silent.
The air was thick with tension as he made his way deeper inside. But suddenly, hands seized him from behind, rough and unyielding. Diego's men had been lying in wait. They gripped his arms tightly, pulling his weapon from his belt and shoving him forward, surrounding him.
In the main hallway, Diego's brother was dragging you by your hair, his men following as they watched you struggle, your nightgown askew. You whimpered, the pain intense as his hand twisted in your hair, forcing you to stumble along. When your eyes met Ghost's, trapped and unarmed, you felt a jolt of both relief and dread.
"Well, well," Diego's brother sneered, his voice echoing with malice. "Looks like your protector couldn't stay away after all."
Ghost's eyes met yours, fury and regret flickering in his gaze as he took in the sight of you being dragged, hurt and vulnerable. He strained against the men holding him, but their grips were firm.
"Let her go," Ghost growled, his voice low and dangerous.
Diego's brother smirked, pulling you closer. "Oh, I don't think so. Not after everything you've done to our family."
Ghost clenched his jaw, his fists flexing as he glared at Diego's brother. "This isn't about family. This is about you wanting revenge for a man who destroyed lives, who used people."
Diego's brother laughed, the sound cold and bitter. "It doesn't matter now, does it? You're too late to save her."
You felt your heart hammering in your chest, the fear building as you glanced from Diego's brother to Ghost. "Please," you whispered, the pain in your scalp unbearable. "Let him go. This is between us."
Diego's brother tightened his grip, ignoring your plea as he turned his attention back to Ghost. "You thought you could just walk away, huh? Leave her here, vulnerable, while you played the hero somewhere else?"
Ghost's expression hardened, his eyes burning with rage. "I made a mistake. But I'm here now. Let her go, and I'll give you whatever you want."
Diego's brother's grip only tightened on you as he sneered at Ghost. "You've already given me what I want, a chance to show her what happens when she messes with the wrong people."
Ghost struggled again, but the men held him back. "I'll give you one chance. Release her and face me like a man, or you'll regret the day you decided to cross me."
Diego's brother chuckled, seeming amused by Ghost's words. "Oh, I'm not afraid of you, Ghost." He leaned down, close to your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "Now, let's see how brave your 'protector' really is."
You tried to hold back a cry, but it escaped as his hand tightened in your hair, forcing you to your knees in front of Ghost, the pain sharp and unrelenting.
Ghost's heart hammered as he watched, powerless to help, but his mind raced, already forming a plan. He could hear the distant wail of sirens. Backup was on its way, but he needed to keep you safe until they arrived.
"You lay another hand on her," Ghost said, his voice a deadly whisper, "and I promise you won't live to regret it."
In that moment, Ghost was no longer the man you had pushed away, the man burdened by anger and jealousy. He was the soldier, the protector, willing to go to any lengths to save you.
The silence in the room grew tense as Carlos raised his gun, pointing it straight at Ghost with a twisted smile.
"How about I kill him?" Carlos taunted, his voice dripping with malice. "Finish off the man who killed my brother?"
"No! No, Carlos, please don't!" You choked out, panic tightening your throat. Desperation flashed in your eyes as you watched the gun aimed at Ghost, your heart pounding against your chest.
Ghost, despite being outnumbered, glared defiantly at Carlos, his eyes cold and unyielding. He didn't waver, didn't flinch, and his posture remained steady, even with the barrel pointed his way.
"Oh, you want to play the heroine here, do you?" Carlos sneered, a dark chuckle rumbling from his chest. Without warning, he reached out, roughly yanking you by your hair and pulling you against him, his arm securing you in place as he pressed the gun to your lower abdomen.
"Say goodbye to your lover," he whispered mockingly into your ear, his voice low and filled with menace.
Your breath hitched, and your pleading eyes met Ghost's. "No, please, don't..." you begged softly, feeling the cold metal digging into your skin.
But Carlos's finger tightened on the trigger, and the deafening sound of the gunshot echoed through the room. Pain shot through you as the bullet tore into you, the force knocking the air from your lungs. You gasped, your knees giving way as the world spun around you.
"NO!" Ghost's shout cut through the chaos, raw and desperate as he struggled against the men holding him back, his voice filled with an agony you'd never heard before. He fought like a man possessed, but the guards restrained him, forcing him to watch as Carlos smirked down at you.
You felt yourself weakening, your vision blurring as the pain radiated through your body. Carlos's smirk grew wider as he took in Ghost's desperation, relishing the torment he had inflicted. Then, with a cold, careless chuckle, he released you, letting you fall limply to the floor. You landed heavily at Ghost's feet, and he looked down at you, his face etched with a mixture of anger, pain, and horror.
"Stay with me," he rasped, dropping to his knees beside you as his hands hovered over your wound, afraid to hurt you further. "Come on, stay with me. Don't you dare give up on me now."
You managed a weak smile, reaching up to touch his face. "I'm... I'm not going anywhere," you whispered, though your voice was barely more than a breath.
Just then, the blaring sound of sirens filled the air, growing louder as they approached the mansion. The SWAT team was finally breaching the property, and Carlos's men, hearing the commotion, began to scramble, leaving you and Ghost behind.
Carlos snarled, his attention shifting toward the approaching law enforcement, but Ghost used the distraction to his advantage. He quickly scooped you up into his arms, his face pale and filled with a fierce determination as he carried you outside.
"Hang on," he murmured urgently, his arms tightening protectively around you as he made his way through the chaos. "I've got you."
Outside, paramedics were already waiting, and as he carefully laid you on the stretcher, Ghost's hand never left yours. "I'm not letting go," he promised, his voice a low, intense whisper. "Not now, not ever."
You managed a faint nod, clutching his hand as the medics wheeled you toward the ambulance. The sound of gunfire and shouting faded as you were rushed away, but the last thing you saw was Ghost's face, etched with a fierce, protective devotion.
---
Over the next month, you recovered slowly, your strength returning little by little with each passing day. Ghost visited every single day, keeping his promise, staying by your side through it all. And when you finally sat up, stronger than before, he was there, his hand resting on yours.
"You scared me half to death, you know that?" he murmured, his voice unsteady, betraying a vulnerability he rarely showed.
You smiled softly, squeezing his hand. "I didn't mean to. But I knew... I knew you'd save me."
He leaned closer, his gaze steady and filled with emotion. "And I'll keep saving you. I'm not going anywhere. Not ever again."
#simon riley#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#call of duty#cod ghost#modern warfare 2#ghost x reader#ghost x y/n#modern warfare#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley x y/n#simon riley x oc#simon riley x female reader#simon riley x f!reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x female oc#simonghostriley#simon riley ghost#simonghost#ghost simon riley#simon ghost x reader#ghost x female reader#ghost x female oc#ghost x you#trending#ghost x oc#ghost mw2
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Trustfall
Ao3
Just a little thing I wrote to explore the Jimmy and Scar dynamic. Set loosely after session two. Enjoy! <3
Night comes, and Scar can't hide from his feelings anymore. They catch up to him - like everything does, eventually. Scar can never run fast enough.
He's on another mountain, this one green and pink and bright, bordered by tall shoots of bamboo and topped with cherry blossom trees, decorated with growing wheat fields and pens that - sometimes - house sheep and cows. It's all so... alive. So beautiful. So fragile.
The beauty of it is not the surprising part. It's not even that he spent the better part of the day eating dirt or leaves or shovels. No, the strangest thing on the mountain is the people. The strangest thing about them is that they're there at all. With Scar. On purpose.
He can't quite figure it out. The why of it. Jimmy had made it look so easy to say he would stay, like he couldn't think of a million reasons not to. And then Lizzie, who he had invited, and then still been surprised to see her there when he got back. They do it without obligation. Scar had almost forgotten what that felt like.
Neither of them are tethered to him by fate or bound by an oath. They're just there, bright and silly and constant. He'd had something close to it, once, with the allies he'd jokingly called his family, but that had been... messy.
Jimmy and Lizzie make caring about him feel like something simple.
Tell me about your theme park idea, Lizzie had said, and he had. He'd braced himself for- for something. For dismissal. For a roll of the eyes.
A good theme park has three things. Lizzie had mused instead. We need rides, decorations, and a mascot. I think one of us here has real mascot energy.
Jimmy's face had lit up. Lizzie had built three birds at the entrance to their base, standing proudly. Scar stares at them now, shadowy figures in the dark. They're a team. And as much as Lizzie jokes and groans about what a handful the two of them are, they're still equals. They understand each other. Lizzie knows what it's like to be alone, overlooked. Jimmy knows what it's like to be seen as a burden, a joke.
Somehow, despite everything, they trust each other. It's terrifying.
"Stargazing?"
Scar jumps at the voice, a quiet yelp escaping his throat before he can stop it. He twists his torso to look, a jerky motion, and lays eyes on Jimmy, who seems a bit apologetic. "Ah, sorry-"
"Geez, Jimmy, oh my god," Scar says through wheezing breaths, hand pressed to his chest. "This is the life series, man, you can't sneak up on- on a man in thought!"
"Right, sorry, sorry," Jimmy continues, laughing a little bit. "Thought you heard me walk over."
Jimmy sits down next to him, clothes rumpled from bed. It's quiet, fireflies blinking and crickets chirping in the distance. The moon is nearly full, high in the sky. It's early enough in the game that a full nights sleep is still an option. And yet-
"Couldn't sleep?" Jimmy asks, tone light but genuine.
"Oh, you know," Scar says, humming. "Stomach ache. Dirt doesn't agree with me. Who knew?"
"Yeah, glad that one's over." Jimmy stretches his legs out in front of him. "Think I chipped a tooth. I'm billing Grian."
Scar laughs quietly, mindful of Lizzie snoring just a few yards away. That's another thing he's not quite used to: sleeping with others nearby. It's comforting. He's afraid he'll get used to it.
They sit in silence for a while, comfortable and secure. Their frankly absurd amount of bamboo rustles in the gentle wind, cherry blossom petals perpetually raining down around them. It's the kind of perfect peace that has Scar waiting on the other shoe to drop.
"...What was winning like?" Jimmy asks eventually, voice soft.
"...I don't know," Scar says. "It didn't really feel like winning. It was kind of just, like. Sad."
"Sad?"
"Yeah." Scar sighs, leaning back to look at the stars. "I thought it might make me feel better, to just- to prove that I could."
Jimmy hums like he's really listening, like he understands, and Scar... Something settles. Something that has been flinching for a very long time goes still.
"I was tired of being alone," he admits. "Still am. I end up that way a lot."
"Not this time," Jimmy says, a lopsided smile on his face. "Not on my watch."
He places a comforting hand on Scar's shoulder. Grounding. Real.
Oh, Scar thinks. This is what it's like to have something to lose.
"You sure it's not too early to say that?" Scar asks, half teasing. "You might be running for the hills a week from now. I'm not- I'm not an easy teammate."
"Hey, me neither, pal." Jimmy nudges him, smile a bit jagged at the edges. "I'm known for dying early. I've got issues with longevity."
"They make medicine for that."
"Wh- Scar!"
Scar doubles over, wheezing uncontrollably. Jimmy follows helplessly, in a way that almost sounds painful. It continues for a while, until Lizzie makes a small noise in her sleep, and the two of them choke back their laughter to something manageable, tapering back into silence. Scar feels... happy. He feels happy. It's...
"How about you?" Scar asks. "Anything you want to get off your chest? Just between us. And the giant parrot statues."
"Ehh, I don't know," Jimmy says playfully, eying the parrots suspiciously. "I don't know if I trust 'em."
"And me?"
"You?" Jimmy glances sideways at him, eyes light and honest. "Of course. We're the Bam Boys."
Trust is something that Scar had thought he'd killed a long time ago. Jimmy offers it anyway. It's like a lighthouse in a storm. The sun to a flower. Water in a desert.
Trust. Just this once, Scar vows not to break it.
"So," Scar says, like nothing just happened. "Anything?"
Jimmy exhales shakily, looking away, down at his hands. There's dirt under his fingernails. Scar waits.
"I don't want to die first," Jimmy says, a faint tone of embarrassment in his voice. "I know it's like, a thing, but I really..."
Canary, they call him. A creature whose purpose is to die.
Scar knows a thing or two about unwanted titles. He sometimes feels like the role of Villain is still branded onto his skin, with the way some people look at him.
I don't want to die, cries the Canary, but the miner only pays attention when the singing stops.
"You won't," Scar says, as close to a promise as he can get. "Not this time. Not on my watch."
Jimmy grins crookedly, something relieved at the corners of his eyes. "That right?"
"That's right."
They go back to bed.
#I've been wanting to write something for them since the first episode came out and i finally got around to it :]#i love them your honor#goodtimeswithscar#solidaritygaming#wild life smp#trafficblr#my writing#might post on ao3 but like. tomorrow maybe bc it's 2am rn <3#goodnight!!#🐦⬛
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Single Wrong Step Away from It - a short smg34 fic
3 has a nightmare but not in the way you'd think. He feels awful about it either way.
Words, about 2.2k I think?
---
He walked down a dark corridor, knowing the sight that would greet him. This had been right underneath the crew’s nose and they were none the wiser. It was an all too familiar man with a television for head, looking at monitors. The room was as dark as his desires. And sinister as their plans, fake as the friendships made along the way, except this one.
“I’m so glad you saw my way, SMG3”
“Well, I oughta” 3 chuckled.
“Especially for the amazing amount of intel you could give me! With the information I possess about SMG4, all because of you, we should be able to take over his channel in no time!”
“And this time, for good, I hope at least”
“You got me this time and I assure you I know how to plan things right”
They shared a chuckle.
“I can almost imagine the face SMG4 will make when he realises that our friendship was anything but real!”
“Oh, you’re truly sinister, SMG3! If I knew earlier we could’ve worked together way way earlier”
“What matters is we’re doing this together now!”
They set out finally, together. They had a foolproof plan. SMG3 knew that SMG4 blindly trusted him at this point, and had him wrapped around his finger. The best possible prey. And 3 was getting ready to pounce.
They were walking in a forest together. Nothing but the sounds of the night with them.
“Hey, 4” 3 called out to 4. The fact that he was called 4 caught him off guard a bit, considering that 3 doesn’t use it for him a lot. It made him smile.
“Yea?”
“I was just thinking…” 3 started, a sort of anxiety making it hard to speak for him. Or at least that was what 4 believed.
“Yeah? I’ll listen, dude”
“I’ve just… I’ve known you for so many years… And you know… we have a lot of great memories together”
“Aaaand?” 4 asked with a smile he couldn’t rub off his face.
“I’ve just you know… realised that maybe… there could be more to it” 3 played being flustered perfectly.
“More to it how?” 4 wasn’t giving it so easy.
“Oh, you’re gonna try and make me say it? Dummy” 3 chuckled.
“Well, would be great if you did… but I think you should know my answer” 4 grabbed 3’s hand.
They both laughed.
“Well… I guess I could say that there’s feelings for you in me that are not hatred or just friends… but something more”
4 giggled.
“Something more you say?”
“I’m not giving you any more hints”
“Don’t think I need anymore” 4 cupped 3’s cheeks.
“Go on then”
4 leaned in, finally giving 3 a kiss. It took one decade and while sweet and lowkey, it felt so earned, so…. So perfect. Such a powerful thing.
“I just wanna say one thing though” 3 said after 4 pulled away.
“Anything” 4 was so lovestruck.
“You should’ve been more careful” 3 smirked, but it wasn’t a nice smirk, it was sinister and it confused and also scared 4.
“What do you mea-” but he couldn’t utter another word, being clapped together between the palms of an all too familiar TV head man. 3 heard the man’s dark laughter. First there was SMG4. Now there wasn’t. Just in a quick swoop, he was no more.
“Genius!” Puzzles applauded 3 “What a perfect setup to get the perfect rating! I approve of your dedication”
“Only the best from the best” 3 chuckled.
“Now to move on to the rest of them..”
~~~
3 woke up. The events in his mind slowly set in. He felt his chest sink. It didn’t actually happen. He wasn’t even the one being betrayed but somehow this felt worse. So much worse. He got out of bed, going to the bathroom to wash of his dream sins. He wished he never even thought about this. He wished he didn’t have such a stupid fear that would haunt him from time to time.
He looked at himself in the mirror.
“Am I truly good?” he asked himself, inspecting himself. Looking at everything wrong about him. There was a lot. He wondered what would happen if he suddenly ended up going that way… Fame was always something that could sway him. He looked deep in the mirror, deep in his eyes, the red in his eyes. He felt confused by it the deeper he looked. Wondering if there was something in him that could break out and he could ruin everything. Lose everything. Make years of friendship look like a joke. He shed a tear. He kept the rest back. He had an urge to cry but it was hard to get out. He wiped his eyes.
He went back to bed and laid down, trying to sleep again. But all that would haunt him was 4 in his dream, looking so confused, not even given the right to process that he was betrayed by him. The look of horror on him that he swore he saw for half a second. It was scary.
He turned and turned, everything felt uncomfortable, along with his thoughts. He felt hot yet cold, his blanket felt strange and uncomfortable, his pillow was anything but welcoming and his bed felt like a trap to put him in a cycle. He sighed as he sat up.
He went up and made himself a nice, warm glass of milk. With a bit of sugar too. While warming it up, still all he could think about was the idea that he was really wasting his time and he could lose everything any moment. That he could easily snap back and ruin everything.
The beeping of the microwave snapped him out of it.
He took it and sat by one of the table, sipping away at it quietly. He looked outside to at least somewhat distract himself. It looked so peaceful outside. After finishing his milk, which he really only made because that would sometimes make him feel better, he instead went outside. Midnight air just hits different…..And it did then as well. It felt refreshing, comfortable in a way. 3 could take in a big breath. Although in the end it wasn’t enough but at least he wasn’t suffocating on his thoughts helplessly.
He looked at the castle, knowing exactly where 4’s room was located. Knowing the layout of the room like the back of his hand, knowing, as he looked there where his bed would be located.
He shook his head. No, he couldn’t bother him then, that’d be so selfish.
“Besides, what would I say to him?” 3 thought out loud “Ooooh, SMG4, can you comfort me? I had a nightmare! I sound so stupid right now”
Just after he said that, he saw 4’s face pop up in his window. He froze. Did… Did 4 hear him? Oh god…
He saw 4 gesture him to come in. 3 sighed, he wasn’t escaping this now. He went around, not wanting to crawl through the window so he went through the main entrance then to his room’s door. 4 was already standing in the doorway, waiting with his arms crossed.
“So?” 4 asked as 3 stopped in front of him, not saying a word.
“C’mon dude” 4 asked again “I heard something was bothering you”
“Why are you even awake, it’s like 2 AM”
“Video grind. Regardless, I think you’re awake for worse reasons… Something about a nightmare? That I could, saying it with your words, comfort you about?” 4 said the last part with a small grin, obviously teasing 3.
3 slapped him.
“Shut up”
“Oww!”
“Serves you good”
“I’ll shut up if I can listen to you”
3 stared at 4 unamused before sighing the biggest of sighs known to men, feeling a bit flustered alongside it.
“I just had a stupid dream where I betrayed you with the help of Mr Puzzles and I’m scared it could happen in real life, are you happy? That’s what’s keeping me up”
4 looked at him concerned. 3 felt awful.
“I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have told you”
“No… No, it’s okay” 4 mustered a smile “It makes me happy when you’re more open with me”
3 chuckled.
“Rare occurrence, right?”
“Yeah with how much of a tsundere you are”
“I’m NOT! Got it?? I’m anything but that”
4’s smile fell.
“Sure sure… I’ll believe you.”
“I thought you would freak out more”
“Huh? Why would I?”
“At the thought that I had a dream of betraying you”
“3… did you enjoy betraying me?”
3 thought back to the dream, the whole kiss part flustered him a bit.
“3?”
“Uh- Of course not! Why would I? I may be a villain but I’m not… not…”
“You’re not what?”
“Not… abandoning you. Not after everything”
4 looked at 3.
“Wow, is that still you, SMG3? I never knew you could be so direct… or that you felt that way about me” 4 teased 3.
3 was almost about to tell him off again, but he stopped himself. He calmed himself down with a deep breath. He firmly but with love grabbed 4’s shoulders.
“Are you trying to make fun of the fact that I care about you this much? I never cared so much about anyone. And I’m scared, I’m really scared I could… hurt you again. Do you know how scary it is, feeling the looming possibility of me backstabbing you?” 3 teared up “It’s so scary. I don’t wanna lose you”
4 didn’t know how to respond. He felt a bit flustered by such an admission of care for him. He knew 3 cared about him but all these words coming out of him directly just put a sort of feeling in him that made it just a little harder to stand and a little harder to think.
“3…I know you wouldn’t…”
“But- but what if I have a weird change of heart? And become what I used to be? What if I go and kill you on purpose? Like I’ve wanted to in the past?”
3’s tears wouldn’t stop.
“I- Listen, 3… I get that you have quite the history but um…” 4 took a deep breath. It was his time to be honest.
“You… honestly amaze me, 3. For all that you’ve gone through I’m… proud of you? In a way… Yes, you tried to kill me and I’m not happy that happened… I’m not happy about so much you’ve done but… to me, you’ve made up for it… If… if you changing isn’t real then- then is anything real?”
“Eheh, you’re exaggerating…”
“No, dude, I’m serious! At this point- At this point I can’t imagine a world you would betray me in… besides… Mr Psychiatrist degree, isn’t this dream of yours kind of OCD adjacent?”
“Well-” 3 thought for a bit “Hate how you’re making sense there…”
“If you… hate it so much, it just shows how much it’s not what you REALLY want… I’d trust that the last thing you’d ever want to do is hurt me”
3 looked down. He had to take a bit to take the words in.
“3…?” 4 was concerned with the silence but he didn’t need to be concerned for long as he was pulled into a tight hug. 3 buried his face in 4’s neck, still crying a bit so he soaked 4’s shirt, not that he cared. 4 might have but he didn’t that’s for sure. 4 returned the hug, rubbing 3’s back. It wasn’t always the easiest with 3 but these kind of moments were the ones making it all worth it for 4. He would live through so many murder attempts if it meant he could get more of this kind of 3, a 3 that could be so honest. A 3 that could care so much, so much that he could tear the universe apart. He loved it. Especially because he felt similarly. Sometimes he would remember old times and wonder how they couldn’t have been friends earlier but then realising that what they have now… It’s perfect. He would never even think to wish for anything else.
And they didn’t pull away for a long while, it felt like a waste to do so. A question appeared in 3’s mind that wouldn’t leave him alone.
“Say… 4… mind if I… spend the night here…? It’s cool if you don’t want me to- It is… kind of weird for me to ask to anyways”
4 pulled out of the hug.
“I was actually thinking the same thing. Although I don’t have another bed prepared”
Silence inserted itself between them as they were both looking at each other awkwardly.
“I knew you were gay” 3 said, quoting the legendary video.
“Alright, that’s it, you’re coming to bed with me”
“Ooooh nooooo, what will I ever doooo” 3 said sarcastically.
“Oh, you know. Sleep”
As they both laid down it felt a bit too real. Sure, they first softened the tension of the idea with jokes but that didn’t mean it would be easy after.
3 looked at the ceiling then at 4. Then at his hand. Although this all felt weird and he didn’t like being so direct- he grabbed 4’s hand, firmly at that. 4 looked at him. They stared into each other’s eyes a bit before 4 smiled.
“I’m glad to have you in my life, 3”
“Ahem, I’m actually more glad to have YOU in MINE” 3 got competitive about it. They both laughed about it then finally fell asleep.
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sunghoon thoughts
pairing: idol!sunghoon x gn!reader
warnings: none
synopsis: completely inspired by these fansite photos and something a friend said to me so here is a little drabble based on sunghoon and his overwhelmed s/o at the airport
a/n: photo credits to the watermarks in the photos!
it's your first time flying with sunghoon and the rest of enhypen during an official schedule. this means crowds of people swarming them. you didn't understand just how overwhelming it could be, chalking it off to not being as bad as the videos you see.
however, it is much worse than what you see on twitter. you don't have any space to move around, can't hear a word anyone is saying over all the yelling, and are constantly getting cameras shoved in your face. how do all the boys deal with this on a regular basis? as you were walking toward the security checkpoint with your boyfriend, you felt him grab your hand and squeeze it as a silent form of reassurance. you were thankful, and it helped ground you ever so slightly.
after finally making it to the security checkpoint, sunghoon made it a goal to get you through first to get you away from the crowd. once you were done you waited for him and the rest of the team to finish. sunghoon gets through and immediately walks to you, standing in front of you almost shielding you from the chaos behind him.
you notice he has these drawstrings hanging from his clothes and you absentmindedly start to mess with them, needing a distraction from everything. sure you could've talked to your boyfriend or done literally anything else, but at that moment you were so overwhelmed and anxious that you needed an immediate distraction. sunghoon wasn't phased. in fact, he was endeared by your actions. he hated that he had to put you through the chaos of his airport visits so he was glad to see that you found a way to ground yourself.
#enhypen drabbles#enhypen#enhypen scenarios#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#sunghoon#park sunghoon#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon drabbles#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagines#enhypen sunghoon#i don't know what this is but enjoy lmfao#random thoughts
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neglected
paring: axl rose x fem!reader
warnings: 18+ content, unprotected sex, p in v, age gap (reader is 19, axl is 32), rough sex, spanking, fingering, licking, chocking, bondage, reader gets punished, degrading, praising, arguing, cussing, use of y/n, overstimulation, practically just kinky ass shit
wordcount: 5.7k
a/n: THE THINGS THIS MAN DOES TO ME!!!
NOT PROOFREAD
MDNI
ꨄ❦𖣔𖣘☼᯽☆᪥⁂☼᯽✰𖧷❁✞ఌ𑁍❥༄���✪☼𖣔✯᯽★᪥❦
you had been pacing the spacious living room of axl’s penthouse apartment for the better part of an hour, your bare feet making soft taps against the marble floors. you had been counting down the days until axl came home from his short tour, imagining the way he’d sweep you up in his arms, kiss you with the intensity you missed, and you’d spend hours tangled up together, making up for lost time.
but that wasn’t what happened.
it had only been two days since axl returned, and he’d barely looked at you. sure, he had smiled when he walked in, kissed your cheek, and muttered something about being glad to be home, but after a brief exchange, he had locked himself away in his music room.
he had a one-track mind now, completely consumed by the success of Guns N’ Roses’ latest album Use Your Illusion, the one they had released just months ago. the sales were through the roof, the critics were hailing it as the rock album of the decade, and the fans couldn’t get enough. instead of basking in the success or spending time with you, axl had thrown himself even deeper into his work. he was obsessed, constantly scribbling down new lyrics, working through melodies, always striving for the next big thing.
you understood that his passion for music was what made him the genius he was, but you couldn’t help feeling neglected. after weeks of being apart, you had craved him, wanted his attention—wanted him. you needed his touch badly and this was frustrating you to the bones.
now, it was close to midnight. you sat on the plush couch, staring at the slightly ajar door to Axl’s music room, frustration bubbling up inside you. you wanted to storm in there, rip off his clothes and fuck him till you were the only thing he could think off. the sound of his pen scratching against paper had become a constant background noise these past few days, a reminder that he was always close yet miles away in his head.
with a sigh you marched down the hall and pushed the door to his music room open, leaning against the door frame. just for him, you wore his favorite pair of lingerie, hoping he would notice and stop with his work.
axl sat hunched over his desk, his messy auburn hair falling over his face as he concentrated, his hand moving furiously across a piece of paper. a crumpled pile of discarded lyrics littered the floor, proof of his frustration. he hadn’t even noticed you standing there, his mind too wrapped up in whatever thought was clawing at him.
you bit your lip, then sighed, calling out. "axl."
no reaction.
with a huff you strode over to him, the strong smell of cigarettes immediately filling your nose. you put your hands on his shoulders, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek. he gave you the smallest glance, barely meeting your eyes before his attention returned to his notebook.
"axl." you tried again, irritation creeping into your voice. "you've been in here for days. don't you miss me?" he didn't even look up this time. "not now y/n. i'm working." you took a deep breath to stay as calm as possible but something inside you snapped. he didn't even notice your lingerie, didn't even spend a second to fully look at you. you moved swiftly, placing yourself on his lap, straddling him. you tried to stifle a moan when you felt your core pressing directly against his cock. your fingers ran over his chest, almost grazing his dick, as you leaned in close, your voice husky and low. "i need you daddy. please."
axl's eyes flared, his grip on his pen tightening as he scowled. he gripped your waist and shoved you off his lap, his tone dark and edged with frustration. "what the fuck, y/n? I don't have time for this right now. just let me finish this, alright?"
you crossed your arms, glaring at him. "you don't have time? axl, you've had plenty time the past days. you've barely even looked at me since you got home. I'm right here and all you care about are your stupid songs."
Axl's eyes narrowed. "you know how important this is to me. i don't need you coming in here, distracting me when i'm trying to work." his voice dripped with irritation, dismissive and cold. "or do you not get it?"
"I get it axl." you shot back, your voice shaking with anger. "but I won't just sit around, ignored like some groupie waiting for your attention."
"you're acting like a child." he muttered, returning to his work as if you weren't even there.
for a long moment, you stared at him, feeling a mixture of hurt and fury simmering inside you. you clenched your jaw and forced yoursefl to calm down, letting your face settle into a passive mask. "fine." you said, your tone cold, yet laced with an edge of defiance. you left the room, leaving the door open on purpose. if he could act like a asshole, then you could too.
you knew exactly what you were about to do and you knew he wouldn't like it.
you walked into the living room, just a few feet away from the music room, removed your bra and tossed it to the floor. next you let your thong slide down your legs before you settled on the couch, laying down comfortably.
if axl wouldn't give you the satisfaction you would have to do it yourself.
you spread your legs wide, letting a hand wander down your body, running your fingers along your thighs. slowly, one of your digits began to rub small, soft circles on your clit, your breaths already deliberately heavy. with your free hand you reached up to your breasts and squeezed them. the circles you drew on your nub began to fasten and you felt yourself getting wetter and wetter. you let your fingers inch down and you slowly pushed two of them inside your warm hole, a loud moan escaping your lips. you started to pump your fingers in and out of your walls in a fast pace, always brushing against your sweet spot. by now, your moans and whines were getting louder and more desperate.
and you knew axl could hear you.
within seconds, you heard the sharp sound of his chair scraping against the floor, followed by heavy footsteps. he stormed out of the music room, his face a mask of fury which darkened even more when he finally saw what was going on. "the fuck do you think you're doing?" his voice was low and rough, a warning edge slicing through the words, as he inched closer to your form.
"ah-just taking care of myself, since you're too busy." you looked up at him with innocent eyes, biting your lip but you didn’t stop. your moans grew louder, your movements more rough and deliberate.
axl's expression turned even darker and his hands shot out, grabbing both your wrists to stop you from pleasing yourself, eliciting a cry from you. with a great force, he pulled you to your feet, a hand immediately wrapping around your throat. but his eyes were burning with a possessive intensity that made your heart race.
now you got him.
"you want my attention?" he hissed, his grip tightened, almost cutting off your airways as he stepped closer, towering over you, his tone dropping to a low, dangerous murmur. a challenging smirk played on your lips, teasing him further.
"you think this is funny?“ he hissed, his voice thick with dominance. "you think you can tease me like this and get away with it?“
your breathing quickened, your core throbbed, a thrill rushed through your veins at his possessiveness, but you kept up your defiance.
"i wanted your attention." you whispered. "looks like i got it.“
axl‘s lips curled into a wicked, dark smirk, his hands on your body tightening as he leaned down to your level, his face inches from yours. "oh, now you’ve got my attention, sweetheart.“ he murmured, his voice rough, intimidating almost. "but you’re not going to like what happens next.“
without another word, axl pulled you close, his lips crushing against yours, forceful, leaving no room to protest. his hand on your waist tightened, pulling you against his body with a roughness that bordered on possessive fury. he didn't waste time, his hands exploring you as if reclaiming what was his, reminding you who was in control. you gasped against his mouth as he squeezed your throat stronger, making him slip his tongue inside your mouth.
your tongues were dancing, fighting for dominance which axl undoubtedly won. after a few seconds he pulled back before his lips traveled down your neck, sucking and licking your flesh. "is this what you wanted? to provoke me?" he snarled, leaving a fresh dark mark on your neck.
"maybe.“ you mumbled out, your lips trying to find his again.
"fucking brat.“
he didn’t wait for you to respond, in one swift motion, he lifted you up, making you wrap your legs around his torso. his lips captured yours again in an dominant kiss, claiming you. he strolled towards your bedroom.
your heart pounded in your chest, a mix of fear and excitement surging through you. you had pushed him and now you were going to pay the price. axl kicked the door shut behind you, throwing you on the bed with such a great force that left no room for argument. he immediately was on you, his eyes blazing with control. "you don’t get to act like a slut, y/n.“ he growled, his fingers gripping your chin as he forced you to look at him. "i’m in charge here. do you unterstand me.“
you nodded breathlessly, your body trembling with anticipation.
"say it.“
"you‘re in charge.“ you whispered, eyes glued to his lips.
"good girl.“ he muttered, his lips slightly brushing against yours. "you are mine, sweetheart. only i get to touch you.“
the way his words left his mouth, sent shivers down your spine. his dominance left you always nervous. he pushed himself off the bed, getting rid of his shirt, before returning his attention to you.
"lay down on your belly, ass up.“ he commanded sharply and you quickly did as you were told. your face was mushed up against the duvets and you were waiting for his next move.
you felt him sitting down next to you, gently caressing your ass cheeks. "count.“ he simply said and before you could even react, he landed a harsh spank on your ass. your body jumped forward at the sudden pain, a scream echoing off the walls.
"one.“
"good girl.“ smack. another rough hit came down on your flesh. "two.“ smack. and another one. "three.“ axl rubbed your already reddening ass again, his digits slowly wandering down to your pussy.
"you’re dripping. you fucking slut are enjoying this.“ he growled as he felt your wetness against his fingers. for that he landed two hits with all of his force on both your cheeks, making your core throb in anticipation. roughly, he grabbed the roots of your hair and pulled you into an kneeling position. "did you like that huh?“ he snarled in your ear. "do you like being punished, slut?“
"yes, sir.“ you whimpered, your breath hitching. "say thank you.“
"thank you for punishing me, sir.“ you mewled out, heart racing. axl chuckled darkly in reply before releasing his grip on you. "get back there.” he ordered, gesturing to the headboard. slowly, you crawled back and leaned against it. your eyes followed him as he walked up to his dresser and pulled out two pair of handcuffs. your breath quickened of the ideas what he would do with them. you guys never tried bondage or anything like that before.
with a devilish grin he turned around and made his way over to the bed, crawling up to you again. he trapped your body between his legs, one hand reaching out for your wrists. "i thought we’d try something new today.” he said, voice full of mischief.
you glared up at him with wide eyes, uncertainty glimmering in them. "oh baby, don’t be scared. i won’t go too rough.” axl uttered challenging. he closed one of the cuffs around your wrist, when you pulled slightly back.
"axl…” you stammered, you didn’t know what he was up to and the fact that he wanted to punish you made you a little bit nervous.
"do you trust me, y/n?” he whispered, looking at you with soft eyes. he still cared. he wanted you to be comfortable, doesn’t matter what.
"yes.” you whispered back, giving him a soft smile which he returned before he cuffed your wirst to the bed post. he reached out for the other one, cuffing it to the other wooden post. he glared down at you, his eyes gleaming with mischief when you tug helplessly on your cuffs.
you watched him, your heart beating rapidly, as he got off the bed and pulled down his pants and boxers, his red, swollen tip glistening with pre-cum. "i can’t wait to ruin that little body of yours.” he growled as he crawled back on the bed. he spread your legs, settling between them, before he hovered over you, his lips almost touching yours. your hands wanted to wrap around his neck out of instinct but when they didn’t move further and you heard the clinking sound of the cuffs, you whined out. you almost forgot that he had you cuffed to the bed.
axl smirked in reply, a low chuckle ringing through your ears. “please let me touch you.” you begged him.
“where would be the fun, if i’d let you? no chance, doll.” he pointed out challenging, earning a huff from you. his eyes flickered down to your lips, dark with desire, and you felt your own pulse racing when he finally leaned in, capturing your lips with a hunger that was undeniable. the familiar taste of cigarettes you loved so much, immediately touched your tongue when axl slipped his inside your mouth, exploring and tasting you feverishly. a muffled gasp left your lips as he let a hand glide up and down your inner thigh, igniting a spark.
you felt him grin into the kiss when you slightly buckled your hips to sign him that you needed more. slowly, his fingers inched closer to your core, barely grazing your slick lips. he was teasing you and he enjoyed it deeply. and the fact that you were cuffed and not able to do anything against it made it even more arousing to him.
with a sharp breath you pulled away from his lips, your eyes searching for his. “please axl.”
“do you think brats like you deserve to be touched?” he teased further, his digits drawing slow circles near your most sensitive part.
“i promise i’ll be a good girl. please touch me, daddy.” you whimpered out, your burning core screaming for his touch. “you can do better than that.” he replied, pressing a small peck to your lips. your lips pouted in frustration, your hands wrestling against the cuffs.
“please daddy, fuck me, do whatever you want with me. please, i need you. i’ll be your good girl.” you pleaded him, giving him the best puppy eyes you had. “whatever you say, doll.” he whispered right into your ear, his voice rough. you were relieved when you finally felt his fingers sliding up down your wet entrance, teasing your clit here and there. his lips found yours again before he easily slipped two of his digits inside your welcoming walls until he was knuckles deep. a heavy, muffled moan rattled against the wall when he began to slowly push in and out of you. his fingers expertly curled up and started to massage your g-spot, teasingly.
you needed more. his slow teasing was driving you insane and he knew that. with a groan, you ripped away from your kiss, taking deep breaths before looking up at him. "go faster axl."
he didn't reply, instead he pressed a line of kisses on your jaw and down to your neck, sucking on your flesh. but shock waves of pleasure shot through your whole body when he suddenly thrusted his fingers against your spot with such a great force that made you see stars. "oh fuck!" you managed to squeak out before your eyes closed, focusing on the pleasure he gave to you. axl abused your sweet spot with fever, bringing you closer to your release.
the squelching sounds of your pussy hung in the air and axl tried his best to hold himself back but it was almost impossible for him. "fuck it.“ he mumbled before he pulled away from your neck and removed his fingers from your cunt. a whine left your lips as your approaching orgasm faded away.
you knew that you were his weakness and that he was addicted to your little pussy. there was nothing he loved more than to be buried inside of you.
in a matter of seconds he got to his knees and put his hands on your hips before turning you around to lay on your belly. your wrists were uncomfortably twisted, making you hiss out. his hand reached under your waist and pulled your ass up in the air. he threw a harsh slap to your ass before he entered you in the blink of an eye. a pathetic whine hung in the air as he filled you to the brim, his size stretching your cunt painfully, immediately starting off with an fast and bruising pace.
axl couldn’t contain his own growls when he finally felt your walls wrapping tightly around his cock. his neck arched back, pounding into you with great desire, enjoying the warmth you gave to him. your moans grew louder as his thrusts became more relentlessly, your body already aching. "you feel so good baby.“ he groaned out, striking your ass again.
"can’t grow tired of fucking this tight little pussy.“ he continued, his hips clashing against your ass harder. the heavy smell of sex, your aching body, the sound your body’s made and axl‘s sexy growls made your mind all dizzy. all you could think off was axl‘s dick hammering into you without mercy.
"you like being fucked like slut?“ he sneered, grabbing your hair to force you to look at him. you frantically nodded your head, too lost in pleasure to actually answer him.
"speak when you’re spoken to.“ he uttered, slapping your ass two times with great strength. "yes daddy, i love it.“ you spluttered out, looking at him with hazy eyes. he smirked down at you devilishly before releasing his grip on your hair.
you tugged on your restraints, wanting to be freed from the painful pressure on your wrists. "don’t even try it baby.“ axl stated, making you cry out defeatedly.
you could feel his thrusts getting deeper and more erratic, his moans became louder and his dick pulsated inside of you heavily, signing you that he was close to his release. you wanted to cum as well but without any stimulation on your clit it was hard for you to reach your high.
and axl knew this too well.
he purposely didn’t give your clit any attention to punish you. usually, he would make you cum at least 6 times in one session.
"m‘gonna fill this little cunt up.“ he moaned out, going as fast as he could possibly go before spurting his seed deep inside of you. his tip twitched uncontrollably and you could feel his cum painting your walls. he continued to fuck into you, riding out his orgasm before stopping his movements. slowly he pulled his dick out of your hole, eliciting a whine from you.
exhaustedly, you turned your head to face him, staring up at him with puppy eyes, only to find him looking at you already. "axl…“ you stammered, a tear threatening to escape your eye. he knew exactly what you were referring to.
he didn’t make you cum.
and that made you sad.
"look at you. my little princess is crying because she didn’t get to cum.“ he mocked you, a smirk playing on his lips.
"you think you deserve to cum after the stunt you pulled earlier?“ he asked you, now completely serious.
"i- i‘m sorry daddy. i won’t do that again, i’ll be good.“ you stuttered, voice shaking.
he simply huffed out before he got off the bed, walking around the bed to open the drawer of his bedside table. you watched him closely as he pulled out a small key and kneeled on the bed again. he unlocked both of the cuffs that were wrapped around your wrists before placing the key back in the drawer.
your hands immediately massaged the sore spots, a forming bruise on both sides. "come on, lay on your back.“ he commanded, his voice now soft. your lip quivered slightly because of the slowly purple turning spots on your wrists and the denial of your orgasm.
axl must have noticed that you were upset and helped you getting comfortable in the new position. "everything’s okay princess.“ he mumbled, petting your head softly before crawling between your legs, kind of regretting that he was so rough with you.
the sight of his seed oozing out of your hole made him hard again, wanting to fuck you once more but he mentally slapped himself across the face.
now it was your turn to receive pleasure.
he spread your legs and bent your knees. you slightly propped yourself up on your elbows as you watched him gather his cum that was dripping out of your hole on his fingers before pushing them inside of you. a soft moan left your lips, finally having him inside you again. his fingers immediately found your g-spot again and he began to stimulate it with an delicious pace and pressure. not to rough, not too soft, simply just perfect. then, he wrapped his lips around your clit, letting his tongue flick around the puffy nub. you inhaled sharply, your head tossing back and the feeling. axl began to suck on your clit, creating an toe-curling vacuum, while still flicking it with his tongue.
your orgasm was building up quickly because of your already sensitive cunt and overstimulated g-spot. his fingers sped up a little and got rougher, getting you even closer. your hand found its way to his long hair, tugging on it harshly. "i’m close.“ you whimpered, eyes shut and focused on his movements.
as soon as the words left your mouth, axl sucked harder and fingered you faster. a pornographic moan rattled against the walls as your orgasm washed over you, finally experiencing your desired release. your legs were shaking, toes curling and your whole body felt like it was on fire. "fuck! axl!“ you yelled out as he continued his assault on your pussy, overstimulating you. he removed his mouth from you but his digits never stopped with their movements. again, he got on his knees, allowing him to fuck you with more strength.
the intense pressure on your spot was making you see stars but axl just got even rougher, determined to make you squirt.
"axl!!“ you cried out, collapsing back against the pillows.
"come on, i know you can do it.“ he growled, pressing his thumb against your clit. and before you could even comprehend it, the most powerful orgasm you ever had crushed through you, your juices squirting out of you, coating axl‘s hand and the duvet. your hands were gripping the blanket like your live depended on it and loud, high pitched cries and whimpers fell from your lips.
"good fucking girl.“ axl groaned out, pleased to see your liquid all over the bed. he pushed his fingers in and out of you a few more times before pulling them away. your mouth hung wide open and your eyes were closed, too caught up in the after waves of your orgasm. "oh shit.“ you whispered.
axl chuckled slightly before crawling up to you, laying down next to you. his arms wrapped around you, pulling you in his embrace. he pressed a kiss to your forehead, his hands gently stroking your body. "you did so good, princess.“
"you know that i love you, right?“ he asked you, kissing you again.
you exhaustedly nodded your head, leaning against his chest.
"i‘m sorry for not giving you any attention. it was stupid of me.“ he mumbled, his voice laced with regret.
"it’s fine axl. i love you.“ you replied, your tone just above a whisper. he gently grabbed your chin, tilting it up just enough to press his lips against yours, kissing you with such a softness that made you melt.
REQUESTS ARE OPENED <3
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https://www.tumblr.com/peachhcs/766558720067043328/httpswwwtumblrcompeachhcs766163417530875904
EMMMMMMM! i know you love cliff hangers you always do them :(((( !!! but like still amazing holy crap
yes yes immediately yes. another part for sure!we need will and sam to finally talk
PART 7!!!! (yes there will be more and as many parts as y'all want this to be) here's also a small moment of will dropping eveyrthing for samy, but it will also be in the next part as well 😌
au masterlist
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6
"hello?" will breathed.
"will?" a wave of relief washed through him when he heard samy's familar voice on the other end.
"samy? h-hi.." he was at a loss for words that he couldn't say anything other than hi despite the million questions running through his brain.
"h-hi. i-i'm sorry this is..i haven't called," samy started and will could hear the edge in her voice which made his heart break.
"let's go boys! on the ice!" coach warsofsky called into the locker room, his loud voice making the blonde cringe and curse to himself because this phone call really couldn't have happened at a worse time.
"shit, are you at practice right now? i-i'm sorry..i totally forgot..i can call back?" samy began when she heard his coach through the phone. shit.
will knew he needed to get on the ice or else warsofsky would make him do lines, but he couldn't just hang up now—not when he was finally hearing his girlfriend's voice after a day of not hearing anything. plus, he knew one of the reasons samy probably didn't call until now was because she didn't want to distract him from hockey.
"come on, pick it up! pick it up! we have a long practice ahead of us!" warsofsky boomed again as more of will's teammates filed out of the locker room.
fuck it.
will dashed out of the locker room through the other exit. he scrambled into the hallway where he nearly fell over from his skates still on and the blade cover hitting the tile. "no, no..i can talk. i promise. it's good to hear your voice..i-i was worried," will admitted softly, sinking onto the ground where he pulled his skates off.
"y-yeah. sorry. i'm sorry. i should've called. i don't know i didn't. i just–"
"are you okay? luke told me about your surgery," will cut the brunette off because even though he was upset that she didn't call him, he needed to make sure she was okay first and foremost.
"uh, yeah. i'm okay. just a tendon tear. nothing serious," samy swallowed, glad will couldn't see the anxiety clouding around her while she glanced around the hospital room and luke pretending not to listen.
"a tendon tear is kind of serious..you didn't get up off the field," will said more as a statement.
"i-i..yeah..but i'm fine now. i promise. it just kind of knocked the wind out of me, but i'm fine. i promise," the girl said like she was trying to prove it to herself too.
"i'm glad you're okay. i was really worried about you," his words made samy feel even guiltier, especially because of the soft tone he was using with her even though she expected him to be mad she didn't call sooner.
"i know. i'm sorry. i should've called," the youngest hughes admitted, head hanging low.
"why didn't you?" will asked, his voice still soft which made samy cringe.
"i just..i didn't wanna bother you knowing you're still getting settled into the team and the season..i didn't think it mattered because i'm fine now and it wasn't anything serious like i was dying or something," the brunette admitted again.
"of course it matters. you matter to me. you're my number one priority," his words brought a bright blush to her cheeks.
"you just have so much on your plate..i didn't wanna burden you. didn't wanna..put too much on you and make you run out or something.." samy mumbled the last part and will was pretty sure he felt his heart shatter into a million little pieces hearing her say that.
"you thought i was gonna..leave you again?" the crack in his voice hurt. a lot.
"i dunno..maybe? i didn't wanna.. be too much or something."
the silence engulfed them whole. will pulled a hand through his hair as he struggled to find the right words and samy bit back more tears threatening to escape.
"you know i'd never leave you again, right? i love you, samy. a lot more than i can even begin to explain," finally, will said something while trying to keep his voice from cracking even more.
"i know that."
"you're not a burden to me, i promise. you're the only thing i think about all the time so there's no way you'd be too much for me. if anything, i'm too much for you," his attempt at a small joke made both of them laugh.
"i love you, will. i'm really sorry i was scared to reach out. i guess it's just been hard..trusting again," the brunette mumbled a bit ashamedly and that broke will's heart again knowing samy was still trying to trust him.
before he could respond though, the door next to him burst open and he snapped his head up. macklin stared down at him looking wide-eyed. "there you are, smitty. you gotta get on the ice. coach is looking for you," the brunette rushed out and will knew he needed to go for real this time.
"yeah, okay. i'm on it. tell him i was in the bathroom," will said and macklin nodded as the two hurried back into the locker room.
"i'll call you again, okay? i love you," will said to samy still on the phone.
"yeah, okay. sorry for keeping you. i love you," and that was it. they hung up and the blonde quickly rushed to the rink before he got in even more trouble.
later, while will waited for macklin to finish up his shower, he was on his phone searching plane tickets and the fastest he could get out to michigan. samy's admission earlier broke his heart and he hated she still felt that way, so he wanted to do everything he could to prove to her that she did matter to him and she wasn't a burden.
he found the tickets that would get him out by tomorrow morning and into michigan that afternoon. he glanced up at his teammates and coach's office—he'd get killed if he just left without warning for a few days. he probably wouldn't even play.
but will needed to see samy. he needed to prove to her that he's drop everything for her no matter what.
so he bought the tickets in a few quick taps and they were in his email a second later.
#will smith hockey#hughes!sister x will smith au#samy x will#samy hughes#will smith x oc#will smith imagine#boston college hockey#boston college#uofmichigan#umich hockey#will smith hockey angst#will smith hockey fluff#ws6#wsh2#umich#umich wolverines#umich fic#umich blurb#umich imagine#san jose sharks#sjs#sj sharks#nhl#nhl blurb#nhl fic#nhl imagine#nhl hockey#hockey#macklin celebrini#umich soccer
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The weight of Apollo's arm around his waist was truly more than he could deal with at that moment. Though he made no gesture to stop him from touching, Isaac went completely rigid feeling Apollo getting closer. This was just like it had been back in college. All the secrets and strange happenings. Only this time the problem was sitting a room away, drooling all over himself. He supposed that was better than an entire fiance and wedding just waiting at the drop of a hat. But Isaac kept his gaze forward and merely smiled at Oliver because he didn't trust his own voice not to betray him at that moment.
Cass didn't dare reply to him when he'd caught the tone in Oliver's voice. But he couldn't deny that Apollo had a point. While the other two didn't know what they were up to, it was entirely possible that it was something they would do. But why a child? That was what he couldn't understand. Of all the crazy things to happen or even be possible, a child seemed far too much a risk. His mind was racing with possibilities and what ifs. "He only said it was crazy and he couldn't believe something like this was happening." He quickly interjected, taking Apollo's point to detour both Isaac and Oliver off this subject as smoothly and quickly as possible. "I think anyway."
He'd slid himself behind Oliver and brought his hand slowly up the center of his back. "I almost didn't recognize it." He told Apollo and the other two. Which was a complete lie. His grandfather would have been insulted to hear either of them say it was just a stupid language. A strong, noble language. Just as their dancers. "I guess that's my fault for not keeping up with it." He felt a little laugh accompany that but he was too busy tangling his fingers through Oliver's hair just then. But what if he's right? Cass glanced over at Apollo, being careful to avoid Isaac at all costs in that moment. "But maybe you're right. We might be able to get something he may not be willing to tell the both of you." He turned and leaned in to kiss Oliver's cheek and sighed. "If nothing else perhaps we can at least make some use of the toy store Uncle Ollie has seemed to acquired today." He teased and drug Oliver behind him and out of the kitchen before he could actually protest. He was damn glad for it too. The blond drew in a deep breath but it did little to slow the trains and trains of thoughts no littering his head and he and Apollo couldn't discuss in private. He doubted they would the rest of the night at this rate.
The door swung shut behind the two and it felt as though the walls and swallowed them. Isaac turned on Apollo with fury glaring in his eyes. There had always been an understanding since the beginning. Cass and Apollo were sort of a package deal. Where one went, the other followed. And for a while it had been fine but at some point, Isaac had hoped that need between them would have died down. Especially with both he and Oliver in the picture. Both relationships flourished but then there was just always what that was between Apollo and Cassio. Isaac wasn't sure if it was jealousy but there was always just something, some part of Apollo that he would never have. And Cass would. And it irritated him into his very soul. "Wha' the fuck was tha'?" He asked so abruptly he damn near startled himself.
Isaac sniffled slightly, settling into his own body without Apollo's warmth against him. It stung, and given the rest of their day, all he had wanted was just to take this slow and figure it out without involving everyone else and their nine aunts twice removed. Instead, there were at least three, possibly four if Apollo had found a moment to get a word out to his sister, that they now had a toddler in their possession that was calling the both of them dad. "You tell me wha' ya said to hi' righ' now Apollo o' I swear I ..." He trailed off, feeling the fury rushing through his veins and he drew in a deep breath, calming himself for just the briefest of moments. "I will no' allow secrets. I don' know wha's goin' on wi'h this kid bu' you will no' keep things from me." He felt how cold his gaze must have been before he continued. "Especially no' if this has somethin' to do wi'h her o' your family o' the blonde in the otha room." He paused, feeling his mouth go dry as he spoke again. "Wha' did ya say to him?"
“I can’t imagine they stayed in touch with her after…everything,” Apollo explained, crossing his arms over his chest after Cassio let his hand go. It was an assumption at best. Everything during that period was intense and generally destructive to the two families. Apollo hasn’t been in contact with his parents since. He imagined it was the same for her. “Her parents were just as strict about a pureblood marriage as mine were. Theodore hasn’t mentioned a dad other than referring to both Isaac and myself as his fathers, so I can’t imagine she’s married. If she and I didn't get married, having a child out of wedlock wouldn’t cause a lasting rift between her and her parents.”
Apollo opened his mouth to answer Cassio, but Isaac beat him. He looked between the two most influential people in his life and felt the thick tension in the air. Of course, he knew the two were cordial with each other because they had to be, and he knew the tension between them mostly came from Isaac, as Cassio really couldn’t be bothered. It was something Apollo had always avoided discussing with Isaac, hoping it would just go away one day. Apollo would have had that conversation if he had known all of this would happen. He wished he had because Isaac was going to be fucking furious in a moment.
Because Apollo had to talk to Cassio, it couldn’t wait, and he knew without a doubt that going off into another room with the blonde would send his boyfriend over the edge. So he did something slightly just as wrong.
“Ya ne znayu, kto yeshche znayet.” Apollo did not look at Isaac as he spoke but felt his chin leave his shoulder. He did not look back at his boyfriend; there was too much of a crowd to see his face. Instead, he watched as Cassio’s gaze snapped at him. “Mozhet byt', oni poslali yego ko mne.” Every inch of Apollo felt guilty for using Russian to communicate with Cassio, to keep Isaac out of the conversation, but it was imperative. He couldn’t just talk about their actual employer out of in the open. Learning Russian was something stupid for them as teenagers. A way for them to speak in private while in a crowded room. They hadn’t used it in years. Until that desperate moment, Apollo had forgotten they had done it. “Ya khochu poiskat' yego vospomin-”
“Some would consider it rude to speak in another language when others who don’t speak it are present,” Oliver cut Apollo off, coming to stand next to Isaac. He looked between the two of them, hands on his hips. He nudged Isaac with his elbow. “Wouldn’t you agree, Isaac?”
Apollo then turned to face Isaac and yearned to reach out, wanting physical contact to ensure he was okay. Isaac wouldn’t cause a scene in front of them. No, he wouldn’t display a weakness like that in front of Cassio. “I didn’t mean anything by it,” Apollo said softly, reaching to wrap his arm around Isaac’s waist, his attempt at testing the waters. “It’s just a thing we did growing up. I don’t speak it often, and I haven’t in years, actually, but when I’m overwhelmed, it helps me center myself sometimes, you know, thinking about the words and dictation. Quiets the brain.” Always the smooth talker, always the liar. “If you and Cassio sit with him for a bit, maybe you can see something we didn’t, but I wouldn’t waste any time. He ate his weight in pancakes, and I’m sure he’ll pass out from all the carbs soon.”
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Well Smile's out, listening to it now (in mostly reverse order xD). World's was genuinely one of the most impactful albums for me, Shelter and Everything Goes On (literally the best thing Riot's been involved in musically imo) are incredible singles, Nurture may not be my usual thing but still love it, and his early electrohouse fuckboy era stuff was the wrong place to get into Complextro from (because fuck, he and Skrillex literally defined the genre!). This album?
I really, really wish I liked it. His musicality's there, the soundscapes are soaring and powerful... But the tracks sound like they're from the pop response to like, panic at the disco or the killers :/ not BAD, just definitely not my thing. Which is good, it's awesome to see musicians making stuff they enjoy and want to make! Maybe it's the contrast to how impactful his previous work has been?
His early work, which I'm defining as pre-Worlds (with Easy as a sort of transitional boundary piece), has an impact even today in EDM. Complextro, and large chunks of modern electrohouse, are in many ways descended from his sound (and Skrillex, but like they were in association with each other! Porter literally toured with Skrillex as an opening act!). It's not all my sound, but it's so utterly HIM. Same with Worlds, and Virtual Self, and Nurture! They're all pushing against something, musically. It's incredibly engaging, even where you can see the influences or style's he's drawing inspiration from they're being integrated into something he wants it to be.
Smile, is fine? Like I'm willing to bet this album will have people who adore it, and there's pieces of it that are so good. Year of the Cup has a background layer that sounds like he's playing a riff based on Trying to Feel Alive, and it works SO well! And there's bits like that everywhere, it really works. But it feels like it wanted to be a screamo/emo pop-punk album lyrically and tonally, and doesn't satisfy the same ways other works of his have for me.
#Porter Robinson#Smile! :D#Technically probably a 6-7/10? But it's maybe a 4/10 for me#It's not bad just not for me#Maybe after listening to it a half dozen more times I'll have more positive opinions of it?#I know I'm not getting most of the technical layers#That'll have to wait until I'm listening to it on much better hardware xD#But at least from my first impression it's kinda meh (for me - I'd have no problem recommending it to people though!)#Glad he made something that he felt he needed to#And the shorter turn around between Nurture and Smile! :D is certainly good to see#Given how hard a time he had making music after releasing Worlds it's delightful to see him feeling playful and expressive again#Aesthetic discussion
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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it
#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL#AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP#yep that was meee :3#man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did#but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying#I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious#I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep#then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh#I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital#luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point#so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like#I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do#and I was scared it might make things worse#but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack#luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone#and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there#I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city#bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there#so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by#I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before#I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches#so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die#cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome#but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug#but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication#now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf#sleep.txt
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Im so sorry i played Our Life: beginnings and always and not only has it sucker punched me with bittersweet feelings of life and change and relationships but its also thrown me into brain rot hell of it. Im sorry if ocean boy cove floods your feed get it? Its a pun
#t-n talks#personal#our life: beginnings & always#olba#i love him so much i love them all so much i need to replay with all the dlcs and get shiloh to come to our wedding#because i named a fosh after him in like step 2 or 3 and i missed him and i dont care if he lied to us im sorry shiloh#come baaack#but also baxter what happened baxter we missed you so much youre important to us youre important to meeeeeee#everyones my friend now how do i have jeremy at my wedding but not shiloh? jeremy you should have made shiloh suffer tooooo#im so glad i got jeremy though god i felt for him so bad like genuinely what was wrong while he was mean to us#i just wanted to be nice and friends but also dont be mean to cove and im so glad hes mellowed out a bit hes really a good kid sometimes#i love them all so much dereeeekkkkk hes such a good friend god hes SUCH A GOOD FRIEND im screaming#and baxter baxter baxter baxter sometimes i dont think hes in love with us but in love with our relationship but also like#i wouldnt mind us three being closer because youre fucking important to me baxter just like jeremy#youre all part of this found family gay as shit now if i can be adopted then that means i can adopt you too!!!#god but seriously? like i expected to cry because of relationship love drama at first not because i was having#complicated feelings about being adopted and my relatiinship with my sister god ive never had an older sister really#and my siblings and i arent super close but im adopted and i dont think ive ever wanted something more than this family#this game man i just god my fiance was like “i dont think this game was meant to be so deep/intense” but like its a visual novel#novels are meant to invoke feelings and thoughts and discussion and reflection at least thats what i believe every story has a purpose#its up to us to figure out what its purpose is maybe not in general but to us what can we take away from it and god#it makes me want to hold onto my friendships tightly and reach out to everyone i knew/know#i have too many tags on here because of brain rot but i love this game and im so excited for the next one and i would love to download#like my log of the entire game so that i can recap everything at like my leisure#just cause im not gonna remember all my choices and stuff
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Hey, just felt called to let you know that your MQF from SVSSS doodles give me such life and inspired how I write MQF in my fics. I love how you depict him and your art style is so refreshing and cute!
Just thought you should know. Hope you have a good day!
HELLO HI THANK YOU SO MUCH??? 😭😭😭💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY OR NIGHT
#THANK YOU ANON I WILL GO EXPLODE NOW#jbfkdjh#sorry for caps this actually means so much to me you have no idea#thank you for stopping by to tell me i really appreciate it 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓😭#my specialest little guy...........im so glad that ppl like him hes so dear to me#im literally in the middle of making myself a bag pin with mqf cuz i had to go 'fine i'll just do it myself' hahjkhfd#to be entirely honest i have made more small bits with him in the meantime and i have lots of bigger projects in mind with him but#i kinda hit an art funk this past month and felt p bad about my art in general#so not much posting have been posted and not much more even made#but this ask watered my crops and cleared my skin hdfjkdhfgkdf thank you#anyway cant post the older doodles cuz theyre tied to something thats still a wip and kinda embarrassing cuz im trying something new lol#but maybe ill post some lazy crumbs that i have and try to get back into arting#sorry for rambling this just made me really happy i need to explode something with my mind#i literally went to bed cuz its way past 1am here but then i noticed the notif and threw myself out of the bed lol#but now im going back to shreep#but anon im sending you good vibes and wish you good times with your fics :))) thankyou again for the kind words#asks
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being a hater for a moment, but i think continued punishment or enduring the weight of your "sin/mistakes" for the rest of your life is one of the worst ways to end a story like in meguri forcing satoko to simply live with what she's done instead of the narrative actually engaging with the reasons why or providing substance to her actions that was clearly there in sotsu.
for pn, i'm glad there wasn't a continued punishment, a constant need for lucy or ford to endure the weight of their past. punishment is not the answer for past crimes or cruelty, especially with the poignancy of an ending that is tinged with melancholy, but it's far more hopeful and healing. lucy still killed her sister and wiped out thousands. ford still swept lucy under the rug, and replaced both her and augustus' memories, and he punished himself by cracking his own brain. years passed, and the pain was still present, festeruing underneath, especially in regards to the subsequent passing of the anti-psychic torch between lucy, augustus, and his children, with dion and frazie especially passing it on to raz, who finally had enough and ran away because of the pain foisted upon him because of a lack of acceptance. they've suffered enough. there didn't need to be a "lucy needs to pay for her crimes" or "ford needs to repent for the rest of his life." with augustus and his children, there is bittersweet beauty in how he still needs to come with terms about his past being a cultivated lie, how he was raised by the killer of his mother whom he still loves and wants to protect, how he spread those sentiments to his children based entirely on falsehoods, how his oldest children are still processing a life that was fueled by anti-psychic rhetoric, propaganda, and fear. and for raz, he has his entire life ahead of him.
there's kindness in being able to simply move on, to live in the future with what they have now. there doesn't need to be any further punitive pains, "calling out" behavior, or demands to live with regrets for the rest of their lives. for lucy and ford, who suffered and inflicted pain equally, being able to return to where they were is probably the happiest ending bequeathed to them, with what time they have left. as for augustus and his children, they still have time to process what they've endured, no matter how many years pass before raz decides to confront what happened, and for that, i think the ending to pn2 carries an unspoken sincerity.
#saw something that had me clicking my tongue and needed to get my thoughts out lol#i don't think ford should continue to suffer for what he did in an act of desperation#the narrative has acknowledged his actions as callous to the aquatos and raz is right to be bitter and furious#it's far complicated than 'ford made a mistake' of course there were choices but what choice do he have in that moment?#lucy had already 'killed' helmut - she already killed thousands - the world wanted her *dead*#and lucy was plunged in her agony with a sorrow so great it washed away any threats#as for dion and frazie - i'm glad dion didn't apologize - it wouldn't have felt right since both of them still need time#and raz? he's still ten. one day he'll do look back but not now - let him rest and let him soak in the love so many have for him#ford#lucy#raz#aquatos
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just played a kids on brooms valentine's oneshot and,, holy fucking crap i am still weeping
what it all comes down to: local aroace himbo jock becomes the quiet protector of love at his local valentine's festival even though he did not want to at the first place, because he felt really uncomfortable by the pretence of being known as a 'heart thief' while desperately trying to ignore the girls who were falling head over heels for him and he did not know how to deal with, the protector of something that he does not experience in the ways that his peers experience it, and fucking OFFERS up his own heart if it means that this weird fucking void creature stops trying to literally steal people's hearts and leaving their chests like empty cavities, and when that doesn't work, fucking plunges his OWN fist inside of the entities' chest to get them back, crowning himself the heart thief of the festival
#like oh my GOD#the fukcing moment he (or i) realised that he maybe had the chance to put a stop to it... by OFFERING it his own heart#because he felt like he understood what it felt but still didnt think it was fair to rob so many people of their in-love hearts#and quietly made the decision for himself that he at least needed to try.. for his new friends#and all those people who were losing their partners left and right???#i need you to know that during the crowning scene?? Of the heart thief thing?? i was fully weeping#i AM so glad that we were playing online#jason brinley i need you to know that i love you so fucking mcuh and no matter the characters ive created for ttrpgs you will go done as on#that will always matter everything to me#my sweet boy#who bravely took on something that could have been a huge burden to bear when you dont understand it but you still felt like you had to do#if not for yourself then for all those people around you#brb going to cry again#natasja's babbling#aromantic#aroace
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I offer you my everything (lhs)
pairing: heeseung x afab!reader
synopsis: You never cared about sex, until you did. You grew too afraid of it, scared of disappointing the other person or showing your inexperience. But then you met Heeseung, the hot basketball captain that stole your heart and became your biggest fantasy.
my's note: i loved working in this so much. also i wanna emphasize that for god’s sake do not “lose” your virginity due to pressure or anything related to others. do it because you want to!! take your time, there’s no such thing as being too old for it neither need to rush. you have to enjoy it! that being said, i hope you enjoy this writing 🤭
warnings: fluff, pet names, explicit language, reader is insecure about having sex and some other things, SMUT - so minors DO NOT interact!, virginity loss, kinda pillow princess reader (she doesn’t know what to do, so she just lay down and enjoy), protected sex 💪🏻, fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), quick handjob. lmk if I missed something!
wc: 21k
NOT PROOFREAD.
taglist 💖: @yvnempire
Entering college was your dream come true.
There was a whole fantasy of how your life would change for the better, the new ways of seeing life, dealing with problems – new problems!, meeting new people, going to university parties, starting your adult life. Everything sounded ethereal, almost utopian, and although you were a very down-to-earth type of person, you never stopped your imagination from flowing through the excitedly new unexplored area.
You used to have a very simple and ordinary life in your hometown, going to school everyday, getting great grades, not really engaging with romantic relationships and having a normal amount of friends and people who cared about you.
Your parents were good people but quite strict with how you should live your life. It wasn’t much of a problem because whatever they were afraid of you getting into and “losing yourself” wasn’t really your cup of tea; you never really cared about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend – and your dad vehemently explained to you how disappointed he would be if you started to date someone with no goals in life or whatever. Doing drugs was way out of your interests, but you were very curious about the whole alcohol thing. And well, you wanted to become a journalist one day, so you pretty much studied for it and made your parents proud of you.
Overall your life was very… vanilla. And a strong part of you wanted it to be a bit spicy.
Not in an exaggerated way – and you had no problem with who wanted their lives to be –, nevertheless you wanted to really live the university experience, so your first months in college were actually dreamy, especially for being away from your parents’ grip and finally trying the taste of what freedom felt like.
You met your classmates and respectives professors, you got to know better about the available clubs and how to enter them, and you met your roommate, Ryujin, which thankfully ended up having enough common interests with you to make a healthy friendship grow.
Making friends wasn’t a big problem to you as well, because even though you normally showed a very reserved version of yourself at the beginning, people around you just fell for your charms naturally, wanting to be close to you for your aura at first and then because of how supportive and funny you were once they got to know you better.
Now, in your second year, you already had a spot on a small group of friends, who everyday would try to meet during lunch time to catch up on things and not freak out with the amount of assignments they were dealing with.
The conversation always flowed nicely, you never felt insecure about sharing a piece of your mind with them since they listened to you well. You were really glad to have people like that in your daily life.
However, there was a single topic that you often would shut up about to avoid being the center of attention, and the said topic was an ongoing conversation right at that moment.
“I need to get laid,” Julie, one of your closest friends, said in a very dramatic way. You forced a smile that you were pretty sure that looked very awkwardly placed on your face.
You could feel your heart beating fast with the idea of you becoming the subject in that conversation.
“What you really need is a good night's sleep,” Yunjin added with a chuckle, patting Julie’s head who shot a slightly upset look back at her.
“For that I need to sit on someone. Like, I can literally feel my body aching for a dick,” she explained, keeping the drama in her tone as if she was sick. There was a reason for Julie to be in the theater club afterall.
“For God’s sake,” Yunjin muttered, rolling her eyes but not really bothered by her friend’s behavior. She was pretty much used to it at this point, and well, quite the same but with girls.
You just watched as they both bickered with each other, hoping for you to stay out the fire and wondering when that conversation would finally become just a reminiscence of your day.
There was no shame on you for being a virgin. It was quite literally your choice since having sex was your last priority during your teenage years although you had guys interested in you in that aspect.
You weren't expecting the right one, your prince charming, nor to get married before. You just never cared much about having sex, and once you started to care you never felt comfortable enough with someone to show yourself so vulnerable, so openly like sex seemed to be.
Once your university life started to kick in and attending parties became a part of your weekends, you really thought that you would finally be able to free yourself enough to have someone with you in a bed, naked, doing sexual things or whatever. But what really happened was you feeling endlessly frustrated with yourself for panicking, finding lame excuses to run away from the possibility of having sex every time a makeout session started to be a bit more intense.
Alongside that often reaction of yours, you went through a tough moment with a specific guy, one you let yourself comfortable around, leading to you one day being in his bedroom while sharing a passionate kiss. With the amount of reassurance he showed you through the whole moments you were just flirting, you thought that sharing that you never had sex before wouldn’t be a problem. He was about to undress you from your bra when you told him, and then he halted his movements, overreacting as he said “I’m no sex teacher to teach college girls how to have sex”.
You never felt so humiliated in your whole life. Not only it became a trigger but also a new thing to overthink; the fact that some guys would see you as too innocent for their sex drive, refusing to do anything with you.
Nevertheless, you were still a woman with desires, with a libido waiting to be directed and mostly, curiosity.
Your mind would flee to dirty, lascivious places whenever you saw a character you found attractive, such as actors, singers or even real life crushes, sometimes doing the bare minimum but still sparkling in your sexual self, wetting your panties – and in those days you blamed your ovulation.
But the moment you tried to fulfill your fantasies with real people, your body refused to relax, your mind never stopping from the constant overthinking about either disappointing or just showing how inexperienced in the practical area you were, ending up embarrassing yourself.
Since you also never looked out for the help of your friends, none of them knew about that part of your life and you always shared a silent feeling of gratitude for the lack of their interest in that area.
The whole theme being a main focus on conversations constantly made you pretty uncomfortable, because everyone showed to enjoy their sexual lives fully, without any problems like you.
Although you had very incredible friends that you could rely on, you couldn’t help but feel the anxiety of being judged by them, so you always opted to stay quiet or managed to redirect the discussion.
As if someone had listened to your prayers, you noticed another friend of yours – Jake – coming in your direction with a big smile, his backpack hanging loose off his shoulders and someone a bit too familiar alongside him.
You waited for them to be closer to try to recognize the strange and… Shit.
Your breath got stuck in your airlines when you realized that the guy with Jake was Lee Heeseung.
Your eyes followed how he took a seat in front of Jake, who sat beside you. None of your friends stopped the playful argument when they both arrived at the table, and for a little while you were glad for that, because you for sure couldn’t hide your surprised face and sudden dizziness for having Heeseung that close, looking unnecessarily attractive with his usual sly grin, messy black hair and strong presence.
Heeseung was the basketball captain of your university team.
You harbored a love for sports since childhood, not in a way of being a player but a watcher. During the first weeks of college you discovered that your university had a basketball team and you got really intrigued. Since then, it became your hobby to go over and watch them practicing during your free time or just to study for a while using the sound of balls bouncing on the floor as a background.
It was during one of your study days that you first met Jake, when he accidentally threw a ball in your direction and although you safely dodged, he insisted on taking you to what he called a date, but you weren’t much interested in him like that so you two became friends.
Jake was definitely hot, but, well… You had a big crush on the very much attractive ace of the team.
His movements looked meticulously calculated as if he had control of every part of his body, his pretty smiley face whenever he scored a point making your heart miss a few beats, not to mention the shameless winks he gave towards the girls who were watching the match just to make them scream. His overall performance was just sensational, making you wonder if the hands that were harshly used to grip the ball would grip your hips the same way.
Yeah, one of the in real life crushes you would get wet just by thinking about.
You forced yourself to believe that you had everything under control, since crushing on Heeseung was a waste of time and a sentence to have your heart shattered. You knew about his fuckboy reputation and definitely wasn’t planning on being the talk of the week of the “lucky girl that Heeseung fucked” or anything similar, neither wanted to face the consequences of getting involved with him – the amount of gossips going around with your name would increase considerably as people would try their best to destroy your self-esteem.
Or at least that’s what you heard from your friends, wondering for a long time if people were exaggerating just because of jealousy.
You weren’t that desperate to lose your virginity, although the thought of losing it to Heeseung seemed quite interesting – but, again, impossible.
Heeseung's existence in your life always resembled to be like an idol. Not in a sense of you idolizing him, but as someone you were intrigued by, loving to watch him by far, never getting close enough given that nothing could even happen between you two, especially because how would two different worlds collide like that?
So in your own defense of how your body was reacting, no one prepared you to be so close to him without a previous warning, even with the fact that Jake was friends with Heeseung. Your brain just insisted on forgetting that eventual possibility.
“What are you guys talking about?”
And then you really panicked.
You also forgot that Jake was pretty much a gossiper and would rather know what the table was talking about instead of bringing another new subject to it. And now there was Heeseung sitting with all of you, making it harder to breathe and to focus on any other thing. You could feel the sweat dampening your armpits, the idea of you having to talk about your sexual life haunting you to death at that moment.
“Me getting laid,” Julie answered with a cheeky smile.
“Oh,” Jake was taken back with her quick and honest response, you could notice by the way he slightly widened his eyes. Heeseung just laughed. And what a pretty fucking laugh.
“Don’t act like you never fucked in your life, Jake,” Yunjin said narrowing her eyes skeptically, adding to the fuel.
You felt your cheeks and the top of your ears burning. And not only that, there was a very intense gaze right towards you that you refused to look up to meet. The scrunched napkins on the table looked way more interesting than anything else at that moment.
“I’m still not used to all your… Openness,” he motioned with his hands as he explained. You mentally cursed Jake’s oblivious self for giving Julie the right words for her to be even more blatant in her dramatic speech.
“Oh boy, I really wish I’d be open–”
“Julie!” Yunjin now screamed flabbergasted with Julie’s audacity, laughing loudly and smacking her friend's shoulder while you hid yourself in your hands, fully embarrassed. You couldn’t hold back a small, kind of a relieved laugh because the topic apparently was about to end.
You heard Heeseung chuckling with them and decided to search for his eyes just to meet them already on you, shamelessly checking you out. You instantly avoided his not a little soft glances at your chest and lips, but not with enough time to fail to perceive how he bit his bottom lip while still smiling.
“Care to present your friend?” Yunjin directed the question to Jake when she stopped laughing.
“I thought you already knew Heeseung,” Jake sounded confused.
“We do, but I don’t know if Y/N do,” she explained, pointing to you.
Now every pair of eyes on the table was on you and normally that wasn’t a big deal, you loved the attention your friends gave whenever you were the one speaking. But Heeseung being the owner of one of those pairs made it difficult for you not to blush harder.
“O–oh,” you damned yourself for stuttering, swallowing nothing. “I actually know him too, yeah. I– I watch the uni basketball practices sometimes.” You tried to sound cool, forcing a very awkward smile, but your voice was so obviously nervous you just wished no one would notice.
However, Heeseung’s lips curved into a smirk told you that he, at least, noticed. And was enjoying seeing you so flustered.
“I’ve seen you there a few times”, it was his first words since he sat with your group, his voice sounding quite different from when you normally heard him – screaming in the basketball court with his teammates to hype them up.
Your heartbeat was loud inside your chest, and you wondered if the reason behind was because of Heeseung’s intense presence, or how dreamy his voice sounded, or the fact that he had perceived you in his games. All the options sounding very unnecessarily smitten to you, who usually knew your place, grounded with your feelings, but apparently not with Heeseung and his charming face.
Jake nodded, smiling cutely at you. But not a cutely you enjoyed seeing; it was a mischievous grin. You gulped.
“Heeseung insisted on sitting with us today, saying he wants to get to know you better,” Jake nudged your shoulder with his’, wiggling his eyebrows while the girls hummed teasingly at you.
You widened your eyes, your cheeks with a tone of red spreading all over. You noticed Heeseung’s cherry colored lips still with a petty grin, his eyes slightly hooded as he faced you. That alone was enough to get yourself worked up, sending signals directly to your cunt.
You literally clenched around nothing just because Heeseung smirked at you while holding eye contact.
Of course you would react like a teen that just got a confession from her crush mixed with a pervert that never had sex in her life and got horny by little things – which, in part, was true.
Nevertheless, hearing Heeseung laugh along with Jake’s next words completely dashed your hopes and your arousal away.
“I’m joking. It’s funny and cute how you always react with things like this.”
You now had to blink a few times to recompose yourself just enough to fake a smile, trying not to demonstrate that your panties were a bit damp and you, frustrated.
“Not funny to play with a girl's feelings, Jake,” Julie uttered when she noticed your slight discomfort.
Now it was the time to take your realistic persona and act out of the situation, as you pulled your best facial expression in order to cover your kind of hurted heart. “There are no feelings,” you urged to say with a forced laugh, failing to notice Heeseung’s smile dropping for a second. “Yeah, it’s funny now, but I’m pretty sure you were on the verge of crying when I refused to go with you on that date,” you cocked your head with a raised eyebrow facing Jake, watching his expression contort in all the five stages of grief at once, his lips parted with widen eyes at the end.
“You’re mean,” he whined and you laughed.
“Only for you,” and you gave him a little wink before standing up and gathering all your things on the table to put back on your backpack. “I gotta go now, see ya later?” You looked at your girl friends who just nodded and said a cute goodbye to you, avoiding eye contact with Heeseung as you did so.
As you made your way to your upcoming class, your mind automatically flooded with thoughts about what just happened; you yourself questioning for how long you would be able to hide your inexistent sexual life from your friends, or even if you should keep doing it, due the fact that they could help you get over your insecurities and apprehensions.
Besides, it was becoming quite unbearable to cope with the frustration of wanting, yearning, and desiring, yet never being able to make a move beyond it.
And since when would Heeseung pay genuine attention to you? You couldn’t deny that even with your head making sure to remind you of the unrealistic nature of things happening with Heeseung, your feelings seemed to have been crushed in a very hurtful way.
There was a part of you that believed a bit in the fantasy of him being a very warm and approachable guy who would do cute things with you, respect your space and time and also be the one who you have sex with.
On the other hand, you constantly reinforced the thought of being impossible and somehow weird. You felt weird. Like a true pervert of some kind.
You spent the whole class thinking about what Jake said and how Heeseung's eyes wandered your features with something very similar to what you saw in some other guys. Desire.
But at that point you comprehended that your mind had started to like to make things up. Jake was lying after all.
You just wished for your sentiments and needs to vanish quickly, or at least for you to be able to replace the person. In any case, you decided to avoid the basketball court for a few days.
Not showing up to watch the team’s practice and games did not prevent you from running into Heeseung almost everyday, which was the main reason behind your decision – to get over your silly little crush on him.
Apparently fate had other plans for you and you honestly didn’t know how to feel. Heeseung began to be part of your group hangouts alongside Jake, now being a regular presence to the point where your friends would frequently ask his whereabouts, as if everyone in the group suddenly grew a liking for him.
And honestly, you couldn’t blame them. Apart from your tangled, weird feelings that for sure had something to do with how you envisioned him, Heeseung revealed to be a genuine sweet, caring person, easily breaking parts of your pre-concept about his stereotypes.
His “player” aura was fading little by little, even though his confident demeanor kept its place on his every move.
Heeseung had gleaming eyes shooting you the most flirtatious, intense gaze, with equal glistened lips adorning the most endearing smirk, enough to make you lose your words, to lose your mind. Not to mention how often his body leaned towards yours in order to give you full attention.
Heeseung would cock his head and glance at your lips whenever you were the one speaking, simple behaviors messing you over and over, tempting you to dive into the pool of the unexplored, the so lustful field you never let yourself do a proper investigation, too afraid of surrendering to your feelings and needs.
The more you got to know him, the harder it became to dismiss the growing admiration and longing feeling running all over your body. Heeseung wasn’t just some fleeting crush anymore. He became something you couldn’t name yet, still fuzzing your mind, the crawling sensation on your skin wanting more and more of whatever he had to offer – just a look, just a smile, just some words, just some gentle brush of skins. Anything.
At some point your chest started to palpitate just by the mention of his name, your blood running cold instantly as your whole posture changed, terrified of someone knowing about your feelings, about your dirtiest thoughts, about how he would visit your dreams at night to show you how much you craved his body.
God, you were so fucked up, so desperate, and nonetheless, hesitant.
Something strongly held you back, even with Heeseung’s attempts to become closer to you, asking direct questions to you, trying nonstop to get to know you better, just like Jake once told you he wanted to.
You never let him in. Not openly, not with your words, not in front of him – you refused to risk having a broken heart because Heeseung was simply being his normal self and you, seeing beyond his charming facade.
Heeseung had occupied a spot in your mind from day one, ever since his damp, sweaty hair stuck on his forehead together with a cocky smile seemed way too attractive to your eyes and you began to pay more attention to his existence. That was true. But you only allowed him to do his proper mess inside your head after de-idolizing him; after the looks he gave to every other girl started to have you as the main target, after his hands “accidentally” brushed on yours during your moments sitting side by side sending shivers throughout your body, after he questioned about how you day have been and actually paid attention to your answer, your stomach doing flips every time.
Heeseung was now part of your thoughts because he showed genuine affection and worry about you, without you asking for it. And alongside all of that, he was so fucking and unnecessarily hot.
But what if all of this was just a game? Just another girl he messes around with, playing with her feelings just because he can. Just because he's attractive and you're foolishly falling for him…?
…Falling for him?
“Stop overthinking,” Sunoo’s voice cut your roam of thoughts as he appeared out of nowhere, dropping his books on the table before sitting across you in the library, catching you totally off guard.
“Damn it, Sunoo!” You nearly screamed, covering your mouth to restrain it, ignoring the librarian's angry glare.
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he chuckled softly. “But your frown is screaming at me, what’s on your mind?”
“Ahm, just some media ethics stuff, y’know–”
“Cut that off, sweetie. I’m not asking about your studies. You know that. I’m asking about your frown, your overthinking frown,” he said, gently pressing his finger on your forehead. “What’s really going on in there?”
You sighed.
The two of you had met in your first year when you realized you shared almost all your classes. Since then, Sunoo had become one of your closest friends – the trustworthy one, the always-down-for-anything one, and also the one who worried about you the most. He was a comforting presence, someone you could rely on to listen to your concerns and anxieties without judgment.
Still, despite this, you felt nervous. Your eyes darted around searching for any eavesdroppers, a few students scattered throughout the library, deeply focused on their studies, oblivious to your conversation. Yet your tense nerves inhibited you from sharing your true worries as you opened and closed your mouth a few times without being able to talk.
“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Sunoo asked softly, eyes offering you comfort as he held your hands and caressed them.
You nodded, watching his body instantly lifting up from his seat to help you grab your things and his own, snatching your hand with his to drag you around the campus until you found a quiet place near some trees.
“Go ahead, sweetie,” Sunoo said as he leaned in one of the trees, watching your gaze avoiding his and your cheeks reddening a bit.
“I’m having some troubles, personal problems, if I’m being honest…” Sunoo said nothing, just nodded his head in a reassuring way although you weren’t looking at him. “It’s–” you gulped. Your mind screaming at you to shut up, because you were certain he would make fun of you. Sunoo, the guy who always had people crushing on, definitely would not understand what you are going through. You searched for his eyes, just to find them filled with compassion. “I’m–” You shut your eyes searching for the best way of saying. “I’m a virgin,” you blurted out in a low tone, your face burning with embarrassment as you refused to open your eyes.
However, Sunoo's nonchalant reaction took you by surprise. “Okay, and?” Then you blinked a few times, trying to comprehend the lack of judgment. This was not what you prepared yourself for. “What’s the problem?” He sounded genuinely confused with your dumbfounded expression. “That’s all? I mean, if it’s really bothering you we can talk through it, but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, sweetie…”
“So… You think that’s normal for a college girl to be a virgin? You don’t think it’s something to be weird or to be asham–”
“My dear Y/N,” he cut you off by holding your head softly to look directly into his eyes. “First of all there’s no such thing as what's normal or not normal when it comes to many things. Also, please never let someone make you feel ashamed of who you are or how you’ve chosen to live your life, ok?” Your honest reaction was to stare at Sunoo in astonishment. “Promise me, Y/N.”
“I promise,” your voice was muffled since he was holding you still.
“Now spill the real tea, because I’m pretty sure this is just the tip of the iceberg.”
So you vented out about everything running through your mind, your worries, your genuine curiosity mixed with a fear, how you were aching for something you were too afraid of getting – or letting yourself to get.
Relief ran throughout your body, as Sunoo made you comfortable enough to go subject by subject in order to help you name all of your nameless and confused feelings, including to situate where your expectations were set. You wanted your first time to be enjoyable, that’s for sure, so you had to be with someone who would help you erase your turbulent thoughts by reassuring you regularly – a one night stand type of thing was not an option, you realized with Sunoo.
You shared your apprehension on disappointing with your lack of experience, and to that Sunoo settled your nerves by saying “If the person respects you, you don’t have to worry about that,” and you discovered another name for what you wanted.
The anguish of not knowing what to do or where to go was slowly diminishing every time you labeled what previously you were able to describe only as a ‘bittersweet feeling of panic and desire’.
You also didn’t need to directly mention Heeseung, Sunoo himself brought his name after connecting the obvious dots of the said crush being Heeseung, especially since his glances at you and your reactions to it were anything but subtle.
“Don’t have to worry about that either, sweetie. I don’t think any of the others noticed it, they’re too oblivious sometimes,” Sunoo calmed you down after you almost cried due to your embarrassment of someone noticing your messed up self.
Something Sunoo said reverberated throughout your day as well. “You will always be a virgin if you don’t have sex. And if you’re afraid of having sex because you’re a virgin, it’s an unsolved paradox.”
Your talk with Sunoo eased your mind, but also introduced a whole new scenery of thoughts – gladly not anxious one. You were depriving yourself of your own pleasure, of your own desire. And perhaps the real reason was because you feared… liking it.
So after a good night of sleep, you decided to head out to your favorite place during your free time: the basketball court. Not necessarily to watch anything – or someone in particular, but to ponder what you had going through your head the whole night ever since Sunoo’s advices and sweet, reassuring words.
Of course your choice of place would lead you to probably bump into a specific someone, and part of you really hoped for that.
While you drank your iced coffee, you wondered if Sunoo was being serious when he said that the talk about Heeseung in most cases was disconnected with reality. He didn’t explain much about it, but what he said was enough to intrigue you.
“Hey,” a far, but known voice snapped you out of your trance, and instantly your whole body heated.
You watched Heeseung jogging in your direction, panting a big, sweat dripping off his temples and his arms in display for you since he was wearing a sleeveless shirt.
“It’s been a while since I last saw you here,” he said, shooting you a small smile, easily walking through the seats by skipping them with his long legs until he got closer.
“Yeah, I’ve been a bit busy,” you answered, fighting yourself not to tremble and to avoid glazing your eyes on his body, the team’s uniform looking gorgeous in contrast with his skin tone.
“Missed you, Y/N,” Heeseung talked with a gentle voice, his usual sparkly eyes growing wide as he realized what he just said. “I mean, I missed you being around, y’know,” he tried to play it cool and due to your nervous self, you barely noticed he was going through the same emotion.
He was so attractive, and for some reason the mix of his perfume with his sweat inebriated your air lines, making it a little difficult to breathe.
Little did you know that Heeseung was in a similar state, lost in how cute you looked that day, your comfy outfit and the single ponytail doing your face features justice by letting them shine with a natural beauty you carried confidently.
Heeseung noticed you on the very first day you appeared to watch a game. He normally paid little to no real attention to who watched his practice, the flirty glances and winks thrown at the crowd usually was just for fun and no one in particular, but your sudden appearance was overwhelming, his stomach did flips and his so focused self was faltering before your presence.
He had to take a good, long, cold shower after in the locker room to try to get over his exaggerated reactions. How does one get his heart pounding so fast, hands sweating and distracted concentration just because they are good looking?
He for sure knew plenty of attractive people, but none got his heart aching and his body craving like you did.
“I’m sorry, I know I’m the team’s lucky charm,” you acted out of your bubble a bit. That would be a normal saying by you, actually. But around Heeseung you worked differently, actions more withdrawn than ever, flustered by the fact that his focus was on you, and only you.
You barely had any moments alone with Heeseung, most of the time some friend of yours was engaged in the conversation as well, so to talk directly to him without having another person to cover up your nervous state was pretty difficult, especially by the way he held eye contact on you, as he was reading every bare piece of you.
“Yeah, I really don’t know what to do without you,” Heeseung put his hand on his heart dramatically as he said and you blushed, pushing his shoulder and avoiding looking at his face.
And well, he wasn’t lying.
Your constant attendance, whether to really pay attention to what was happening or just to quietly study as you regularly did, threw his mind into chaos. Heeseung had to physically restrain himself from jumping across the seats to ask for your number at first, your aura seeming a bit coy to him – not in an off putting way, but in a way that made him think you deserved someone better than what he could offer. Alongside that, he believed there was no way a hot, beautiful and smart girl like you would pay any attention to him.
It wasn't like Heeseung was insecure, he knew his strengths and how to work with them. A line of girls would eagerly wait for a chance to spend a night with him, though he never went that far with many of them, choosing carefully who he led to his room or allowed in his life.
Nevertheless, the feeling of having that kind of attention was addicting. To feel desired by them fed his ego, he never denied that.
That alone convinced Heeseung that you, out of all his options, would never let him taste a crumb of what he really wanted from you.
And then there was the moment he got to know about Jake being friends with you.
His instincts told him to give up, but he had to try, a demeanor similar to a man who never saw a woman in his life before, just to get a little bit of whatever you would give to him.
Heeseung grew obsessed with your presence, with you. Yet never bold enough to do much about it, too afraid of your so certain rejection. Then you suddenly disappeared and he missed you like crazy, to the point of befriending your friends simply to have a bit of your presence in his daily life.
To get you know better did no good to his health at all. He got enthralled by your sarcastic, funny personality, your endearing laughs and genuine love for your friends, spilling through your actions and words, always supporting them without losing your humor.
Heeseung got a small taste of how it feels to have you around and he grew addicted – even more than for the feeling of being desired by many, more thrilling than the praise for his performance or the rush of winning a game. At the end of the day, Heeseung wanted your attention and your praises.
After realizing it, he decided to step up on his game.
“So…” Heeseung cleared his throat after your silence. “Are you free later?”
The question itself had nothing openly implied, just a normal, simple and direct ask. But God, why did your heart started to beat so fast? Why did your face felt like fire burning all over it?
You forced yourself to meet Heeseung's gaze, his eyes filled with anticipation and eagerness, just like your reply could change the whole path of his life.
“Ahm, yeah, kinda. Why?”
You watched as his expression lighted up and how he tried to hold back his smile while scratching the back of his neck. Spotting Heeseung apparenting to be nervous ignited a different, sudden feeling inside you, as if you now understood that you affected him in some way. Or that he was a very good actor.
“I was wondering if you would like to come over to my place– We’re going to throw a small party, so it’d be cool to have you there,” he nodded to himself, proud for not stuttering at all. When did inviting a girl to a party become that hard?
Unfortunately for him, you paid close attention to his behavior and body language, how he avoided looking at your eyes even though he was the king of maintaining eye contact while speaking and how his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as if he swallowed hard. All the pieces together put you in a new position, one that you felt confident enough to play on his game.
“A party, huh?” You showed him a smile before biting your bottom lip and tilting your head to the side, as if you were thinking about his invitation, Heeseung’s eyes catching every movement and your eyes catching his not a bit subtle glances. “I’ll try to fit you in my schedule.”
And you gave him a wink as you stood up to go back to your dorm without waiting for a response, knowing that your sudden courage would not last long to keep it going, not even realizing you left Heeseung in a total speechless form.
Attending a party alone was not something common to your lifestyle at all, same as accepting going on one just because of an acquaintance of yours.
Usually your friends – Yunjin or Sunoo, in particular – would be the ones to tag you along, since you liked to go out but never got that extroverted side to be directly invited; you didn’t even bother to care much, because as said before, your friends were the ones in charge to lead you to the places.
In addition to that, not only would you have a company so you would not feel alone, but also a friend nearby to look after you – though your alcohol tolerance was pretty high, you didn’t trust yourself to make sound decisions sober, let alone drunk.
Later on, Heeseung messaged you saying you could invite the girls and Sunoo, but to your misfortune and as if fate was tricking you, all of them had other plans and left you hanging this time. Yunjin encouraged you to go by yourself, since Jake would probably be there as well as Heeseung, so you gathered all the courage you had left and decided to go.
Nevertheless, Heeseung wasn’t necessarily your friend yet.
You both shared information about each other during the time he hung out with you and your friend group, enough for you to know his degree and some of his life interests like favorite movies, music and the fact he was a chronic gamer.
Whilst you didn’t trust him enough to have your back if needed to, there was something on the way he oftenly treated you that broke down your doubtful barriers with ease, not only by his respectful manners but also by his desirable glances. Heeseung would look at you with a perfect mix of endearment and craving, like he wanted you so bad he would do anything, but never crossing the line, waiting for you to make the first move.
It was reassuring in some type of way, to feel wanted and at the same time, respected. Upon this conclusion, you felt confident enough to cross the opened door and to enter the house, hearing the loud music boosting through the speakers as a bunch of people danced to it, some of them seeming way too drunk already.
The fluttering sensation in your stomach showed you not only the fear of being by yourself, but mostly the obvious, expected acknowledgment you would eventually bump into Heeseung.
Before you could walk your way to the kitchen to get something to drink – a shot of courage, maybe, someone gave you a sudden bear hug and by the drunken voice you noticed it was Jake.
“You came!”
“Yeah!” You answered with the same pitch, hugging him back, relieved that your whole internal dilemma ended quickly. Or you thought so. “You look kinda drunk,” you stated the obvious with a sarcastic tone, sly smile at him when he pulled out of the hug.
Jake literally giggled as a response and wrapped his free arm around your shoulder, dragging you around, his other hand occupied holding his cup.
“Let me introduce you to my friends, you introduced me to yours so it’s only fair if I do the same, right?” You laughed at his very slurred words, as well as how cute he sounded having his cheeks flustered due to the alcohol.
However, when you realized that he was leading you to his friends – and Heeseung was his friend – you almost froze, stumbling a little on your legs while your whole body tensed. You damned Jake for not letting you take your shot of courage before.
“No need to be nervous,” Jake murmured close to your ear, his hands resting now on your waist as he continued to walk with you. The distance wasn’t that far, but Jake kept stopping to greet everyone along the way so it took you both double the time.
“I’m not–”
“You’re doing the face you do when you’re nervous,” he pointed out.
“Am I that easy to read?” You let out an awkward chuckle, feeling shy at how transparent your reactions were.
“Yeah,” he replied, causing you to now genuinely laugh at his sincerity. “You’ll like them. They already like you. Heeseung doesn’t shut up about you, so they're already familiar with who you are.”
What?
You had no time to think about his words or even react properly, a bunch of new friendly smiles greeting you.
“This is Sunghoon and Jay,” Jake indicated with his fingers to the ones sitting on the couch in the corner of the room. “The two over there are Riki and Jungwon,” Jake pointed with the hand that held his cup to the two who were standing and talking with each other, but when their names were mentioned they looked at you with curiosity. “And Heeseung you already know, but I don’t know where he is.”
Part of you felt relieved by Heeseung's absence, while another part was somewhat disappointed.
“Hey, you must be Y/N,” the one you understood as being Jay stood up to greet you with a hug, followed by Sunghoon.
“Enjoying the party so far?” The taller one asked, looking you directly into your eyes. You showed him a gentle smile as you answered.
“I kinda just arrived, so…” Sunghoon nodded, mouthing an ‘oh’ and sitting again on the couch although his gaze kept focused on you. You shook your head when he silently asked if you wanted to sit as well. “But I can say the music is pretty nice. Whoever chose the playlist has a good taste.”
“Thanks.”
You weren’t expecting to feel Heeseung’s presence close, right behind you. His sweet yet low voice making you shiver, a weird feeling tingling your skin.
“I chose the playlist.”
You gulped down your flustered self to turn around and address your attention to him, just to meet his signature flirty expression, this time a little more… softened. He shamelessly checked you out, eyes sparkling in interest as he tried to hold back his smile, disguising it with a small smirk.
His outfit took your breath away, as he wore a black dress shirt that had the first two buttons open and a beautiful silver chain necklace contrasting his slightly tanned skin, every move of his tempting you to see what was underneath the clothing piece.
You saw how Heeseung’s Adam's apple moved up and down before he raised an eyebrow playfully when his eyes landed on your face again.
He paid attention to the way your cheeks turned into a soft shade of red that he was sure wasn't just because of your makeup blush, and damn, how could you look so hot with black skirt and an oversized black shirt? Your legs in full display to him to savor.
“You look pretty,” he complimented you, sincerity and a taste of desire evident in his tone. You smiled shyly, feeling a warm blush rise to your cheeks.
“Oh, thank you. You look great yourself,” you replied, and although you felt flustered for being that close to Heeseung, you didn’t hesitate to maintain eye contact, focusing the most you could not to falter.
Heeseung chuckled, his hands dipped in his pockets as he straightened his posture, quickly averting from your gaze before coming back to look at you again.
So gorgeous, his heart was beating unnecessarily fast just by seeing you and even faster because of your compliment.
“I’m glad to hear that, y’know, I was hoping to make a good impression,” the alcohol in his system made him a bit bolder than he normally was around you, his body leaning subtly closer to yours, his eyes taking the typical glances at your lips.
You huffed a flustered laugh, looking at him through your eyelashes. “You– You don’t have to try that hard, though,” you tried to speak confidently, and you actually did it, biting your lips as a way of restraining yourself from literally jumping on that hot, attractive, charming, man.
The little giggling noises behind your back made you aware that you were not alone with Heeseung to be that fearless, so you took a step back, suddenly feeling hesitant.
“You think so?” Heeseung, on the other hand, didn’t care about his friends, maintaining his flirty aura as he stepped closer to you, a playful grin adorning the corner of his glistening lips. However, he quickly caught the slight discomfort in your posture and decided to give you some space, backing off. “Well, next time I’ll just let my natural charm do the work, then,” he winked at you and casually sat on the couch arm beside Jay and Sunghoon.
You felt a bit out of your place, your wobbly legs not letting you do much and you awkwardly self not knowing exactly what to do. Jake was long gone already, lost in the sea of people while the other boys chatted between themselves. You stood near to the wall next to the other couch arm, engaging in the conversation as they asked you a few things in order to make you feel included. Eventually, Jungwon and Riki joined as well, bringing you a drink, and you got to know all of them better.
Throughout the entire time, Heeseung wasn’t subtle with his glances, eyeing you up and down, taking his sweet time appreciating your bare thighs and your lips whenever you spoke. And even when you caught him staring, he didn’t flinch, full of confidence, biting his lower lip just to wet it with his tongue right after, definitely not paying attention to their friends talking.
So excessively hot.
Heeseung was torn between awe and frustration. Having you so close, yet so out of reach was killing him inside – he wished for you to take the obvious hints he was giving of being so down to kiss you, his body aching in despair.
And he grew even more desperate and frustrated when Jungwon boldly asked you, “Do you wanna go dance with me?”
Heeseung watched the subtle surprise in your expression as your eyes flicked to him briefly, missing the silent plea for him to repeat what Jungwon had just said.
Still, you hesitated for another reason. Normally one of your friends would push you out of your shell to do what you wanted to, but were afraid of. But not only Jungwon's cute smile got into your heart, you also thought to yourself it was time to make your own decisions, even the simple ones like accepting or not a dance.
“Sure,” you agreed, grabbing the hand he offered you, following him to the makeshift dance floor.
Heeseung’s eyes couldn’t drift away from how your body moved with Jungwon’s precise lead, your hips synchronized with the rhythm, your happy smile lip syncing the song together with Jungwon. He watched his friend get closer to you to whisper something in your ear, making you laugh brightly, wishing to be the one to make you feel that way, to touch, to have you like that.
Heeseung was growing jealous of Jungwon’s demeanor around you, having his hands confidently resting on your waist, guiding you through the music with ease, whispering things he wished so badly to know what it was.
He knew he was shameless staring, Sunghoon mocking his reactions as he scoffed and rolled his eyes, annoyed by the sight of another man touching you.
“Why are Jungwon’s hands roaming all over her body like that?” He asked without taking you out of his sight.
“They’re just dancing, relax.” Sunghoon smiled playfully.
“Jungwon is just being nice to her,” Riki pointed out. “They share a few things in common and they both like to dance, so it was just a convenient situation, y’know? Nothing to worry about.” Riki tapped his friend’s shoulder.
“We all know the girl’s yours,” Jay said.
“She’s not mine.”
Yet, Heeseung completed it on his mind, but his friends knew all too well about that too.
On your side of the story, despite the warmth of Jungwon’s company, you couldn’t ignore the weight of Heeseung’s gaze, taking a glimpse once and a while of his so unreadable expression. You couldn’t figure out if it was anger or envy or desire or frustration, Heeseung showed you a mix of everything and, God, you wanted so badly for him to do something.
“Heeseung is looking at me like he’s going to kill me,” Jungwon whispered in your ear, and you laughed nervously.
“I hope he doesn't, you’re too nice and young to die.”
Jungwon chuckled at your response, and then noticed how your body tensed up suddenly. He followed your eyes and you both watched Heeseung’s tall figure standing up and walking towards you two.
“Mind if I cut in?” Heeseung’s voice was smooth, just like him. Your heart started to race too fast when Jungwon handed you to Heeseung.
“She’s all yours,” Jungwon winked, saying a quick goodbye to you and heading back to his friends.
Even with now being just the two of you, Heeseung didn’t touch you without your permission, partly because he was scared of not being able to control himself at all. He blinked a few times waiting for you to take the lead and his breath hitched when your hands went directly to rest on his shoulders.
You gave him a reassuring look, allowing him to touch you, and nearly melted when his fingers found their place on your waist, caressing the place gently as he slowly moved you both to the music. Every so often, your eyes would meet and each time you couldn’t help but blush and smile shyly before quickly looking away, Heeseung thinking how precious you seemed acting like that.
“Don’t get me wrong,” you started saying after the silence of your voices. “I’d love to dance with you a bit more, but I have to be honest, my social battery is pretty drained already,” your lips curved into a small, apologetic pout.
“Do you wanna go home?” He asked softly, bold hands now moving a bit more freely on your body. You shook your head, since going home equaled being away from his embrace. “Do you wanna get out of here?” You nodded cutely and he smiled, endeared by your behavior. “Come with me,” he said and kindly held your hand to lead you away from the party, not before stepping briefly in the kitchen to grab you both a drink.
Heeseung took you to the back of the house, being one of the owner’s he knew all the places where people could and couldn’t be, so a big part of you felt relieved for not having to deal with a crowd overwhelming your senses.
“You look quite tired,” he uttered with a hint of concern, as you both walked slowly through the backyard, way less people scattered through it as you just followed him without thinking much about it, focusing on your drink.
“Yep, I think I overworked my social battery today,” you answered with a chuckle. “But it was pretty fun, though. Your friends are really cool.”
“They are.”
You both stopped walking at some point, Heeseung nodded his head towards the low wall that surrounded the house for you both to sit on it, a very peaceful, quiet place to run away from the party chaos.
“What about you?” You asked curiously, tilting your head to catch his profile before he turned to face you.
“Hm?”
“You don’t seem to be the type to just sit back and watch the party,” you stated, swinging your legs as you finished your drink.
“Yeah? What do you think I should be doing then?” Heeseung raised an eyebrow, intrigued by your perception about him.
“I don’t know,” you shrugged, averting your eyes to anything but him when you said. “Banging with someone?”
“What!?” Heeseung exasperated, as if he was really offended. You laughed out loud with his extremely exaggerated reaction. “Is that what you think of me, Y/N?”
“Well, y’know, it’s kind of hard to think otherwise. Your reputation doesn't help much,” you explained and forced your best innocent look when your eyes rested on him again. You tried so hard not to laugh at his very deeply offended expression.
“I’m so sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think I’m the person you think I am,” he huffed a laugh, biting his lips right after to glaze his eyes on you. “Don’t even know when was the last time I– Sorry,” he quickly interrupted himself with an embarrassed smile. “I might’ve overshared a bit.”
You shook your head, smiling away your fluster. “You’re fine. But it's still hard to believe.”
“You should ask my friends, then!” He was really trying to defend himself in this one. “Ask Jake!”
“And he’ll tell me what? That you have a long list of women you hooked up with?” You teasingly wigged your eyebrows, nudging him playfully.
“God, no,” he whined and you laughed at his adorable frustration.
You didn’t know it was this fun to tease Heeseung.
“How do I put this… Mhm,” he looked away, suddenly flustered. You were slightly surprised by his demeanor. It was the first time you witnessed Heeseung being something similar to shy. “I like to kiss,” your eyes grew wide and now was your time to be nervous. “So when I go to parties, I might be found kissing someone if I’m really in the mood, but just because I like to kiss, y’know?” He continued, shrugging, trying his best not to sound crazy to you. “And what I’ve noticed is that the people that I kiss, turn a simple makeout into something more when they talk about it, which almost never really happens if I’m being honest,” he paused. “I can count on my fingers how many women I’ve actually taken to my room.”
You swallowed hard, almost audibly gulped, a mix of sensations running throughout your body with his confessions.
“And I also enjoy the flirting, y’know. Their reactions flatters my ego,” this time he was so obviously teasing you after he noticed your embarrassment, finding it adorable how your cheeks got painted red.
You rolled your eyes, pushing his shoulders in annoyance as he laughed. “I’m not joking, though,” he added. “But once I’m committed, I give up on all of that because I can only think about the person I’m liking.”
All that new information sent your brain into overdrive, unnecessarily attractive the way Heeseung��s voice got low at the end, as if he was telling you a secret, a lustful secret, shivers running all over your spine and you having no idea of what to do. You tried hard not to read between the lines. If you did, you would pick up on the message wrongly, because there was no way he was genuinely hitting on you.
“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable,” Heeseung hurried to say, his eyes softening on you.
“No,” you shook your head, chuckling. “I’m just… surprised. Didn’t expect you to be this open,” you admitted, your nervousness waving away from your body, feeling a bit more at ease around him. He still carried his cocky, flirty, charming aura, but now with a taste of honesty you appreciated.
“I just wanted you to know me, instead of what people say about me,” Heeseung confessed with a tender smile. You nodded, glad for his sincerity.
You both fell into a comfortable silence, the muffled noise of the party still going serving as a background. Heeseung was so terribly desperate to touch you again, his hands hesitantly hovering yours, yet never really touching it, as you obliviously looked at the scenery surrounding you, the trees throbbing by the quiet breeze relaxing your senses while you took a few deep breaths.
“Do you wanna go back inside or…?” Heeseung sweet voice eagerly broke the silence, attracting your attention. He was hungry for you, even without tasting you before. His eyes were dripping honey as he watched you consider your options for a bit, pursed lips with a slightly frown.
The peaceful atmosphere embraced you, not only by the cool weather but also Heeseung’s calm, sweet, yet strong presence. You looked through your eyelashes at the adorable bambi eyes that waited anxiously for your answer, blinking slowly. Something has shifted in the air between you two, and surprisingly your body was relaxed with the possible outcome, your heartbeats strong in your chest.
“I’m fine here, actually. What about you? Do you wanna go back?” Your voice sounded way softer than you expected, and just then you realized how close Heeseung’s face was to yours, his alcohol breath mingling with yours mixed with the scent of his cologne, sending you into a trance.
Your eyes naturally wandered through his beautiful facial features, his cute nose, his sparkly eyes, the little mole on his forehead, and of course, the oh, so kissable lips, tempting you so badly. You never had Heeseung that close to you, and he was so fucking breathtaking.
“No,” Heeseung replied under the same tone as yours. You observed how he hesitantly raised his hand near your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, chills running through your body with the light touch.
Heeseung took your reaction of not backing off as a green sign, so he jumped off of his seat to place himself between your legs, your sweet perfume intoxicating him as he looked up at you. Instead of going for a kiss as you expected him to do, he gulped and just hugged you by the waist, his face resting on your chest as you heard him taking a deep, long breath.
Your confused self tried to go with the flow, awkwardly caressing his dark hair, hugging him back. You didn’t understand what he was aiming for, and neither did he, to be honest. He suddenly felt so nervous he forgot how to act, and he realized your presence calmed him down so a hug looked just as right as a kiss.
However, you now were the one growing impatient. “Hee?” You called by his nickname, to which he answered with a muffled “Hm?”, loving the way it sounded in your voice.
“Do you want me to get down so we can kiss?” You audaciously asked, ignoring how hot your cheeks felt right after.
“Please,” he whispered as he parted away from you just to help you to get down, his hand rushing to grab you by the waist while the other cupped your cheek, every touch, every eye contact being so genuinely gentle.
Your fingers traced up from Heeseung’s chest until they reached his nape to scratch the area at the same time you pulled him closer, and closer. His stomach did a flip with how much he was needing you, so it took no time for him to close the distance between you two, lightly shocking his lips on yours.
The first touch was tender, hesitant, as if you both were testing it out. You moved to grab his bottom lip with yours, your breath hitching a little, shivers of anticipation going all over your skin when Heeseung tilted your head to the side so he could deepen the kiss.
Heeseung hummed against your mouth when he finally tasted you, his tongue brushing yours and sending him instantly to heaven; he immediately tangled his fingers on your hair to pull you near, eagerly wanting more and more of you, before sliding the same hand to your waist, pushing your body to lean it on the wall, pressing his own on your’s.
You two shared an intense desire for connection, once fed by days, weeks only by the tension of your imagination, of ‘how it could be’ or ‘happen’. Now that longing no longer occupied just your minds, becoming reality the more your bodies attracted each other with every touch, discovering new places, new pleasures, new cravings.
Heeseung didn’t know he would yearn you even more after getting a taste of you, and God, you were so addicting.
At some point you broke the kiss to catch your breath, Heeseung’s fingers exploring your body with a perfect blend of desire and respect, as if he was still waiting for the moment you would ask for a stop although he couldn’t resist to feel every piece of you. Fortunately for him, you were far from wanting him to halter his movements, his lips on yours making wonders on your system, your body feeling like melting for how amazing it felt to have him that intimately.
Heeseung’s eyes searched for yours, his now darkened gaze made your stomach flutter, your skin tingling from desire. “Tell me to stop,” he whispered on your lips, brushing them slightly. You simply shook your head, capturing his plump-kissed lips again, holding him even closer.
This kiss started urgently, even with Heeseung trying to keep it slow. Your pulse was fast, you needed him more than anything and your whole body was on fire. You could feel Heeseung going through the same, his skin smooth and warm under your hands as you boldly slipped one of them under his loosen shirt to access his back from his neck, mildly scratching the area just to receive a groan as a response.
“Fuck,” he pressed his body flush against yours even more if that was possible, his mouth travelling away from yours to spread hot kisses and small bites all over your jawline and neck.
Naturally your head was thrown back to give him more access to that area, now being your time to moan as an answer. When you paid close attention to every area of yours that was being touched by Heeseung, you noticed his hardened bulge pressing your body and let out a little gasp.
The recognition of you wanting him as much as he yearned you had awakened something inside of Heeseung, making his head lose control and focus on only one thing: you.
Heeseung was craving you like an animal.
And his way of showing that was slowing down his kisses, his hands audaciously squeezing your ass, sliding through your body with a mastery it took your breath away. Hesseung was a fucking good kisser, working his tongue on yours just the right enough to make your legs wobbly.
But then you became too aware of everything that was happening and your mind activated all the insecurity thoughts you once had for knowing that the makeout session would never just end there.
When Heeseung tried to kiss you again, you used your hands to lightly push him away and avoided his lips, both of you panting.
“Did I do something wrong?” He asked you with confused, puppy eyes. Your heart shattered instantly.
“No, you’d never,” you kindly caressed his face. “I’m just– I…” You opened and closed your mouth, trying to find words that would not make you sound too off or that would make Heeseung slip away from you, but none seemed right.
“Y/N, it’s fine, yeah?” He caressed your hips and then your right cheek, pecking your lips sweetly with a gentle smile. His dick in his pants painfully reminded him of how much he was in need of your body, nonetheless he would never force you to do anything, and just the kisses you shared was enough to make his whole year worth. With that in mind, he kissed your left cheek before saying, “Let me take you home, how does that sound?”
You smiled, even with the urge of crying knocking on your door so closely, the bittersweet taste replacing Heeseung’s in your mouth as you gulped it down your throat, damning yourself for being such an overthinked, insecure person that was too afraid of going all the way for God’s knows why.
“Sounds great, Hee.”
As your usual response after any encounter involving men and the possibility of intimacy, you tried desperately to escape from meeting Heeseung. You would die to kiss him again, and again, and again… But at the same time, Heeseung wasn’t the type of guy who would stop at just kissing and you got a bit of the taste of that – your whole body was on fire just remembering his firm length pressing against your body, the little sounds he let out through the kiss, his hands pulling you closer and closer… And then you freaked out. As always.
Little did you know that Heeseung grew so obsessed with you and your intimate touch that night, that the mere thought of kissing you again consumed his mind just as much as you already captivated every corner of his head before.
The ghost of your lips lingered on his, haunted Heeseung’s memory, making him crave even more of whatever you would be willing to give to him, he would take anything at this point.
Heeseung noticed you vanished from your obvious encounters, not only by missing the basketball game’s practice, but weirdly not hanging out with your own friends. The possibility of you avoiding him made his heart pound in a mild, strange pain, as he didn’t know the reason behind and simply deduced he did something wrong, like crossed your boundaries or anything similar. He couldn’t live with himself if that was the case and in order to correct that, he needed to see you and properly apologize.
“Do you think I’ve fucked up?” Heeseung was now in Jay's room to vent out his concerns about you, pacing back and forth. Jay was still half-asleep, barely knowing his own name let alone able to deal with Heeseung’s situation.
Fortunately for Heeseung, one of the perks of having a long-time friend is that the said friend would be open to hear you whenever and for whatever reason.
“What do you mean?” Jay’s voice sounded groggy as he squinted his eyes to face the bright light coming through the window before searching for Heeseung in his room.
“She’s been ignoring me, like literally ignoring my texts and avoiding me,” Heeseung explained, fingers messing his hair nervously.
Jay let out a deep sigh with a yawn while he sat straight on his bed, running his hand on his hair to try to make it as presentable as possible. “Have you thought about the possibility that she’s, I don’t know, going through something?”
“And how do I fix this?” Heeseung looked at his friend with a hint of desperation.
“You have to let her deal with her stuff first, Hee.” Jay tried to sound as much as compassionate as he could, watching Heeseung taking the seat beside him on the bed. Jay patted his back. “I don’t think it’s up to you, at all.”
“I know, it’s just frustrating. I want her so bad, bro,” Heeseung rested his elbows on his legs and buried his face in his hands.
“Yeah, never seen you so down for a girl like that,” Jay huffed a little chuckle, amazed by his friend’s behavior.
“How can I not be? She’s so pretty, and we have such a good connection, and, God, her lips taste like honey. Like, her touches are so ligh–”
“Ok, enough,” Jay rushed to cut off Heeseung’s possible one hour speech about you, and now that you both shared an intimate moment, Jay was one hundred percent sure he didn’t need to hear such vivid details about it that early in the morning. “Let her do her thing, I’m sure she’ll eventually reach for you, bro.”
“I hope so.”
You weren’t too different from Heeseung though, feeling completely frustrated and in anguish.
You got your panties dampened in arousal just by having Heeseung touching and feeling you the way he did, and he would not leave your thoughts alone for no second during your days, making it difficult to go through your classes and to focus on your studies without your foots nervously tapping the floor, while biting and licking your lips due to your imagination flying by uncountable scenarios.
All of them with the same outcome: you panicking and leaving him hanging.
“Spill it out,” Sunoo surprised you by hugging you from behind while you waited in the line to order you a coffee.
“God Damn it, Sunoo!” You slapped his arm, hearing him laughing at you. “Why do you always do this?” Your question sounded like a whine. He poked your sides before letting you go from the hug.
“It’s funny how reactive you always are,” he teased with a smirk. “Order one for me, babe. I’ll pick us a table,” Sunoo said simply, as he started to move away from you.
“But–”
“No but’s!” He called out already far from you. “I can see your frown from a mile away and I’ve known you long enough to know you’re doing what you like to do the most.”
Your flabbergasted expression was the only thing Sunoo saw before heading to a table on the corner of the store waiting for you to pick the both of you a coffee and head to share the seat with him.
“I kissed him.” You blurted out as soon as you sat, eyes expressing a mix of despair and excitement. Sunoo opened his mouth in a perfect ‘oh’ that silently asked you to explain it better. “So I went to that party,” Sunoo nodded for you to keep going. “And I was dancing with one of his friends, and then he stepped in and we danced together. You know I don’t usually socialize alone that much, so I was feeling drained already,” Sunoo eyes were sparkling in interest, he loved a good little love story. “Heeseung led me to the backyard, and we chatted for a bit, he made sure that I knew his reputation was all talk,” you chuckled, remembering how anxious he looked trying to explain himself. “And now that I know this, it makes total sense. I never really saw him doing anything too explicit in public, so…”
“Ok, babe. I got that part,” Sunoo rushed you. Normally he would listen to every single word you were saying in order to fully help you, but he was so invested in getting to the point he couldn’t help his impatience.
You rolled your eyes playfully. “Well, we had a little moment y’know and then we kissed, very cute and all that jazz. Until the things… shifted a bit,” your cheeks blushed.
“Oh?” Sunoo's eyes grew wide just like his smile. “Did you..?”
“No! I didn’t,” you pouted. “That's the thing. I freaked out. As I always do. And now I’m even more desperate than before, because I got to taste what he can offer me and I want more, but I’m so, so, so afraid,” you whined, almost crying as the words came out of your mouth without you caring if it made sense or not.
Sunoo sighed, his orbs now filled with reassurance as he held both of your hands. “Did he force you to do anything?” You shook your head. “He stopped when you asked him to?” You nodded. “Then I don’t think you have to be scared of anything, Y/N,” you were about to interrupt him, but he kept on talking. “Listen, if Heeseung is into you the way it looks, he’ll respect your boundaries and wait for your consentment. And if he tries something funny, y’know I’ve got your back. I can punch really hard if I need to.”
You chuckled at his wording, knowing that was actually the truth. You were blessed to have someone like Sunoo in your life. “Thank you, Sunny,” you said sincerely. “I’m very grateful for having you.”
“No need to thank me, sweetie,” he kissed the back of your hand, before clapping his and saying excitedly. “Now let’s work on a plan of how you can relax and finally get that dick.”
“Sunoo!” You exclaimed, exasperated, and your friend's loud laugh was the only response you got.
“See you tomorrow, captain.”
You leaned your back against the wall near the door, watching a group of guys walk out of the locker room, some of them narrowing their eyes at you to which you pretended not to see, fakely paying attention to your phone, hoping none of them would stop to talk to you. You had one person in mind only.
“Oh? What are you doing here?”
And it was definitely not Jake.
“Oh, hey,” you smiled awkwardly, pushing your body away from the wall to face Jake. Your eyes darted over his shoulder, scanning if someone was coming after him just before you turned away from the door. “I’m wai–”
“Y/N?”
Your blood ran cold at the sound of your name being called by the voice you only heard in your dreams for the past few days. You tried to swallow down your tension and your shivers, barely registering Jake stepping away from you two to give the space you both needed.
Your body slowly turned to face Heeseung. His hair was wet, and he had a flustered, tired face from the game, a backpack hanging loose from his shoulder, and a small towel on his hands that he was using to dry off the water from his recent shower. His cherry-red lips were slightly parted, and his heavy breathing made your stomach and heart fluttered.
What a fucking vision, you almost whispered.
He had a blend of surprise, happiness and worry in his expression, which softened right after you showed him a small smile, your voice sounding as sweet as honey. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he mimicked your kind tone, his lips curving into a smile as well. He observed your adorable reddened cheeks and your big doe eyes staring at him, filled with expectation. “How are you?” He tried to sound casual, but his voice came out so obviously holding back his desperation.
His heart was racing fast, a genuine wave of joy and relief running through his body. You had no right to show up looking so damn cute and expect him to act normal, as if he wasn’t missing you like crazy.
“I’m good,” you replied softly.
Heeseung nodded, never breaking eye contact. You tried hard to figure out what was left unspoken through his intense, yet tender gaze; your skin aching, yearning for his warm touch just one more time, just like that night, just as a reminder of how good it felt, just so you could bring to reality everything that went through your thoughts since the last kiss.
You really wished Heeseung were feeling the same way, or at least something close to it, otherwise you weren’t sure if you could deal with rejection after you struggled to gather all your courage to encounter him.
The tension in the air was suffocating you a bit, the endless silence was killing you inside, nevertheless you couldn’t find the right words to start anything coherent. Gladly Heeseung perceived your body reacting to the strange atmosphere between you two, and the last thing he wanted was for you to feel uncomfortable or to make things weird in your little relationship.
So he took a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours as he bit his bottom lip.
“I’ve missed you,” he confessed without realizing he just did, voice quiet, almost like a whisper. You watched his eyes growing subtly wide before you drifted away from them.
Your heart skipped a beat, your cheeks heating up and your hands trembling with the unexpected confession. “I’ve missed you too, Hee.” You admitted looking at the floor, unable to keep looking at the eyes that showed you too much affection right now.
The desire once never forgotten grew stronger inside Heeseung’s chest, he needed you more than anything. His hand reached out for yours, the light brush of your skins sending chills through your spine and taking your breath away.
“Can we talk?” He asked softly, relief running on his body when you held his hand back.
“Yeah, we can,” you nodded, now looking up, not containing your smile as soon as you met his face all lightened up.
“Okay,” he left out a little chuckle, too happy for his own good. “But not here.”
Heeseung and you walked out of the building together, his hands’ grip tight on yours as you simply followed his lead. Your brain was spinning inside your head with the amount of thoughts going on.
You didn’t know what to expect the conversation to be, let alone what he would do with you – or what you would do with him. The anticipation was eating you alive, and you thanked God when he stopped in the private area of the campus’ parking lot, guiding you to stand in front of him while he leaned his back on the wall.
“I was not joking when I said I’ve missed you,” he started, now holding both of your hands. You took a step closer, so you could show that you weren’t lying either. “I have to ask, though. Did I–”
You interrupted before he could even start the question, because from the little you knew about Heeseung, he was going to blame himself.
“I’m sorry for my reaction that night. I– I think I was a bit overwhelmed,” you explained, focusing the drawings on his shirt to avert his eyes. “I really enjoyed kissing you, God, you have no idea,” you said with a soft laugh. “But I freaked out,” you gulped. “I freaked out because I’ve never–” Your cheeks were burning like fire due to your embarrassment, your words stuck on your throat. Heeseung gently squeezed your hands in a reassuring way, leaning a bit forward to search for your eyes. You finally looked up at him.
“I’ve– I’ve never gone further kissing someone,” your voice came out as an unsteady, low whisper, while you quickly avoided Heeseung’s gaze again.
But he made sure you would be looking right at his eyes when he said his next words, tilting your chin up with his finger.
“I’m sorry if I put any pressure on you, angel,” and he was so, so tender to you.
His hand left yours to caress your face with a softness that almost made you melt, automatically leaning into the touch. The new nickname sent a flutter through your stomach.
“No,” you hurried to say, shaking your head. “You didn’t. It’s just… Me. Me being an insecure mess, I guess,” you laughed awkwardly.
“Hey, you’re not a mess,” he now held your face between his large hands, forcing you to maintain eye contact. “I loved kissing you, baby. Would love to do more than that,” he smirked, not only showing his desire, but also his understanding. His words and his actions worked in a perfect sync to make your body instantly react, the pulsing sensation between your legs showing how much you were affected by him. “But I would never force you to do anything.” He released your face, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear before his hands rested on your waist in a comforting manner. “Would it help if we talked through your insecurities?”
Heeseung was an angel, you realized. A perfect blend of a compassionate angel and a devil who fed your deepest fantasies.
You blinked twice to process his offer, not once in your life imagining you would meet someone willing to hear you so openly.
“Are you sure?” You asked, hesitantly placing your hands on his shoulders.
His lips curved into a mischievous, shameless smirk. The so known cocky, flirty aura making its appearance just to falter right away, as if he remembered it wasn’t the moment to act like that. You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head to the side when he vacillated to speak.
“Now you have to say exactly what you’re thinking.” You said firmly.
“I don’t think I sho–”
“Lee Heeseung,” your voice was serious and he sighed defeated.
“Okay, okay,” he locked his eyes on yours, a hint of playfulness and craving mixed, causing your heartbeat to increase. “Yes, I’m sure I wanna hear what you’re insecure about, Y/N,” he leaned in closer, just to murmur. “I have to know what I’ll be fucking out of you.”
Your eyes grew wide with his sincerity. Yes, you did ask, but fuck, how does one say something so casually? Your whole face was burning with fluster, your flabbergasted expression was as clear as crystal water, your brain stopped working properly and you had no fucking idea of what to say or do.
“I’m sorr–”
But for some reason, shutting Heeseung up with a kiss sounded right.
Your lips shocked against his with a passion you never felt before. Heeseung’s words, the way he touched you, how his body reacted at the simple act of kissing you and having your hands discovering places on his body – everything made you feel secure and desired, the right mix to make it work on you.
Heeseung made his way through your shell, placing himself right before your insecurities and little by little, without doing much, he was helping you get over them.
Heeseung shamelessly moaned against your mouth when you bit his bottom lip, sucking it before coming back with your tongue hungrily searching for his, your heavy breaths mingling while you both devoured the kiss with vigor.
You parted away to speak, your voice sounding low and too sensual for Heeseung’s health. “I hope you’re loyal to your words, Heeseung.”
He took in your now darkened, full of lust, eyes and your swollen, glistened lips due to the urgent kiss you just shared. The view alone made him go insane.
“Oh, I am,” he murmured, voice deep and husky, his cocky grin making him look even hotter. He gripped your waist tightly and maneuvered your both so he could press you against the wall, placing his lips on your ear to spread a few kisses before saying, “I’m a man of my word, Y/N. And I’m gonna make sure you never doubt yourself ever again.”
You let out a small gasp and then a little whine, your lips parting and your eyes hooded as you relaxed your body, ignoring your mind screaming at you to run away, replacing the anxiety with the craving you cherished for God’s know how long.
“I want to hear every single thought that is holding you back, and then, I’m gonna make you forget about all of them,” Heeseung’s breath was hot against your skin, just like his lips, biting, sucking, kissing every area he had at his disposal.
“Is that a promise?” You decided to play with him on his game, knowing you had no chance against the player anyway. Nonetheless, the foreign feeling growing inside you made words come out of your mouth without you really thinking about them, and it was so fucking good.
“Yes, angel. It is a promise,” Heeseung halted his intense diving into your neck to look deep into your eyes. “But I can’t take your virginity here, in a public parking lot.”
Normally you would fumble into a chain of embarrassment and nervousness with your intimacy being said that openly. However, Heeseung managed to word it in a totally different way. His voice was low, sultry, filled with a raw desire that made you realize he still wanted you, even after you admitted inexperience. Heeseung ignited an intense fire in you.
And then you remembered. You lived in a dorm. “Don’t get me wrong,” your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling it back a little. “But I can’t take you to mine.”
His forehead rested on yours while he chuckled, a bit disappointed. But not on you. “Yeah… I can’t take you to mine, as well. Not today, though.”
“So…” You blinked innocently, not knowing exactly what to say or do.
“We’re not finished yet, angel.”
Unfortunately for you, you realized that what made you so confident and down to go all the way with Heeseung was the fact he was with you, his smooth foreplay skillfully easing your body to relax and enjoy instead of overthinking.
His kisses helped you to forget your concerns and his hands guided you in a way you didn’t have to worry about what to do, not to mention the fact that he was willing to have sex with you even after you shared your insecurities with him.
When you two realized that it wasn’t going to happen that day, the heat went down and you both decided to sit in Heeseung's car to share some more kisses while chatting.
Heeseung always reassuring you through his caring – and hot – touches, listening to every word of yours with compassion dripping out of his eyes, understanding and explaining openly to you about what you were curious about.
You didn’t really open up about everything as you usually do with a friend like Sunoo, partly because you believed it would work as a huge turn off and Heeseung would leave you. But also because you recognized that a lot of your thoughts were beyond your control, like the shape or size of your breasts and other similar things.
Heeseung made sure you understood that besides anything, he would find you sexy no matter what, which made you blush and hide your face on his chest while he laughed at your reaction, but it also made you believe his words and feel more confident about sex.
Nevertheless, through a whole week, a bunch of “do you wanna come over?” texts were dismissed with a lame excuse from you. As said before, his kisses made you ease your mind, and answering such an important question like that without having his mouth working on yours to make you forget about your messy mind, was damn difficult.
What you didn’t know is that Heeseung wasn’t actually planning to have sex with you the times he invited you. He literally just wanted to hang out. Of course he aimed to kiss you eventually, however his main objective was to make you comfortable with him being around, touching you in places you never got to be touched before, making sure you knew how much he craved your body, how much he wanted you, and that you were safe.
It was a busy week, afterall, full of heavy practices because the final game was getting closer and your presence on the bleachers was one thing that didn’t stop happening this time.
You avoided being alone with Heeseung as much as you could, but your lips always missed him, so you had to make the tremendous effort of watching him in every practice.
“He’s so good,” Julie whispered close to your ear, startling you.
“Who?” You asked confused.
“Your boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you rushed to reply with your cheeks already gaining some color.
“Cut that off, he’s head over heels for you, girl,” Yunjin pointed out on your other side. “It’s almost annoying.”
“Yeah, and you always have this weird look in your eyes whenever you see him,” Julie nudged you with her shoulder. “Like you’re always wanting him so bad,” she said with a forced sensual voice. “I bet the sex is amazing.”
“I don’t think you should be talking about Y/N’s sexual lif–” Sunoo tried to interrupt the subject, noticing your discomfort for being smashed between two – sometimes – very indecent girls.
“No, but like. She never talks about it. I’m so curious,” Julie whined. “They say the quiet ones are the worst.”
The whistle indicating the last quarter of the practice was over and you jumped out of your seat, running down the stairs to meet Heeseung, not only to be with him but mostly to avoid Julie and Yunjin's inconvenient questions.
You didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell them about anything sex related, since they both were very sexually active and their actions seemed a bit off whenever you became the topic of the conversation.
“What’s with the hurry, baby?” Heeseung smiled big while hugging you when you jumped on his arms, caring little to nothing about his sweat sticking to your skin.
“Missed you,” you said muffled against his neck, your heart beating fast while you felt him moving you to walk on your back, still clinging onto him.
He stopped walking at some point and you let go of him.
“I gotta take a shower. I’m getting you all dirty, angel,” your cheeks burned with how you interpreted his words, widened eyes as you looked at him. Heeseung noticed it. “Hey, you dirty minded girl, I’m talking about my sweat on you,” he sneaked his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him to walk with you towards the locker room.
“I don’t think your explanation makes it less worse.”
He laughed out loud, throwing his head back with your audacious phrase, and typically you would find it endearing how he looked so handsome smiling big. This time you paid more attention to his neck and how his Adam’s apple seemed more attractive than ever. His sweat dripping out of his honeyed skin was doing no good to you as well, messing with your head, filling it with horny thoughts.
When you arrived, you patiently waited for Heeseung outside the locker room, greeting a few team’s members you’ve come to know, since it’s become a routine for you to be around.
You were playing on your phone when he left the room, glancing at you with a pretty smile and offering you his hand.
You two walked your way to the parking lot, a common everyday thing you started doing after the days he had practice. Oftenly you would be in his car for a few minutes, sharing caresses and sweet talks, before he drove you to your dorm.
“Will you watch me tomorrow?” He asked with sparkly, expectant eyes, swinging your arms.
“Of course I will, Captain,” you looked at his side profile. “Don’t forget, I’m the team’s lucky charm,” you winked playfully at him, remembering one of your firsts dialogues alone you shared.
“Yeah,” he stopped walking to pull you closer by the waist, his voice softened. “And I don’t know what to do without you,” his eyes glazed on yours for a while, dripping affection.
It took just a second for his lips to find its home on yours, kissing you slow and sweet, enjoying every bit of your addicting taste.
He parted with a little smack sound, pecking your lips a few times. Your breath hitched with his tender touch. He held your hand again so you could keep walking.
“The coach was afraid of me dating you, he said you could be a distraction to me and bla-bla-bla,” he huffed a laugh, you, on the other hand, froze. Dating? “Little did he know you’re the main reason I have a good performance. I need to impress my girl.”
You had a very shocking expression on your face when Heeseung looked at you to see why you went quietly suddenly. You stopped on your tracks and turned to him, lips parted as you blinked without saying a thing.
“What?” Heeseung cocked his head, his bambi, confused eyes shined, trying to read you.
“We’re dating?”
“Oh,” he scratched the back of his head nervously. “I never asked yo–”
“You never asked me–” You both said at the same time and stopped, also at the same time.
Heeseung cleared his throat and with a deep breath he rested his eyes on yours, automatically smiling.
“Well, if you’re okay with it, I’d love to call what we have dating.” He said adorably with his hand squeezing yours, “I just assumed we were on the same page, but I’m okay if you don’t want to define it or wanna talk about it more. I’m always all ears for you, Y/N.” He leaned in slightly, his eyes never leaving yours. “I mean, I just wanna be with you, and if you are fine with me calling you my girlfriend, then I’d be more than happy to call you that.”
All his words sounded like babbling to you, because that moment, in the middle of the parking lot, you heart skipped a beat as you realized you were so fucking in love with Lee Heeseung.
You were sure you had heart eyes while staring at his anticipating expression, and you couldn’t care less. You pushed yourself forward so you could kiss him passionately, his hands coming to hold you by your jawline, moving so slowly, so lovingly, so sincerely.
It was a different kiss, it was a love kiss, a confessional kiss, a kiss you only were able to have because of its genuine intentions.
“I’d love to call you my boyfriend, Hee,” you whispered against his mouth, smiling brightly as he shared the same expression, the same emotion.
As intense as a final game normally is, you couldn’t help but tap your feet on the ground, to the point of you standing up to pace back and forth. The rival university was ten points ahead in the fourth quarter and the minutes were ticking down.
You could see Heeseung's tensed body from afar, the seat you had helping nothing with the view of the game – you took advantage of being the captain's girlfriend to ask to watch the game from up close. But it was your worst decision so far, because you barely saw anything.
The tension was palpable in the air, your breath caught in your throat at every pass. Your university team managed to close the gap at some point, and when you looked at the clock, the 10 seconds countdown was shining.
Your heart dropped when you saw Heeseung’s bold move of stealing the ball from one of the opposing team member, the crowd yelling as he sprinted down the court, for a fraction of seconds you catched his glance at you, before he focused fully in dribbling whoever entered his way, and then he launched himself into the air, his perfect form aiming directly for the three point line.
Everything became slow motion as you watched the ball going straight through the hoop, the whole gym exploding with loud cheers as you yourself jumped and hugged whoever were near you with a big smile.
The whole team crowded Heeseung to celebrate, everyone of them shining big smiles but you paid attention to only one. And the said one was searching for you in the sidelines. He broke free from them to jog to you, who also was running in his direction. You jumped on his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and he swirled you while screaming excitedly. “We did it!”
“You did it, Hee. I knew you could do it.” You answered as happily as him, laughing with joy and tightening the hug.
Heeseung softly landed you on the ground, his eyes gleaming with his victory. He cupped your face with his large hands, pulling you into an eagerly sweet kiss, no trophy topping the feeling of having you like that.
The cheers grew louder as everyone watched the romantic scene, however nothing seemed real around you two, lost in the bubble you’ve created. “I did it for you, angel,” he murmured against your lips, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I told you before. I have to impress my girl,” and then he kissed you again, your smiles you shared mingling between breaths and small pecks, before he hugged you tightly one more time.
The celebration went for a while. From afar, you observed Heeseung being surrounded by his friends and teammates, getting praised for his skills and how well he did that match.
You watched from afar how bright and full of joy Heeseung was, his whole face glowing, surrounded by his friends and teammates, celebrating the win, getting showered with praise by everyone. There was a faint blush on his cheeks, and you couldn’t help but remember all the times he got flustered by your compliments, his shy smile in contrast with his darkened eyes, as if your words woke something inside him. You made a mental note to take a little advantage of that later on.
“The guys left the house for me tonight,” Heeseung murmured as he finally approached you, already outside the building, placing his hands on your waist while yours naturally settled on his shoulders. His voice dropped to a tone only you knew the meaning of.
Instantly, your heart skipped a beat.
“Yeah?” Your voice came out low.
You took in every detail of his beautiful face, his demeanor softened since a big part of the adrenaline had left his body by now. Despite that, his eyes still sparkled with adoration and a hint of desire. Heeseung licked his lips, sucking his lower one while shifting his gaze between your mouth and your adorable, innocent, yet lustful eyes.
“Yeah,” he mildly nodded, leaning in closer, but he unfortunately got interrupted by a voice you recognized immediately. Your eyes grew wide.
“Look at you two!” Julie squealed with a smile, clapping excitedly. “You did amazing, Heeseung.” She complimented your boyfriend giving two thumbs up, and you tried to hide your embarrassment by tilting your head towards Heeseung’s chest, who hugged you sideways.
Yunjin, who was with Julie, nodded in agreement, also smiling. “Yeah, that last point was incredible,” she added, giving your shoulder a teasing nudge to whisper closer to you. “I bet you’re dying to get out of here, huh?”
“Thank you,” Heeseung said with a smile, while you gave an awkward grin in response to Yunjin.
“We’ll leave you two alone,” Julie said with a wink. “Looks like someone’s eager for some private time.” With a final ‘goodbye’ and ‘good luck,’ Julie and Yunjin left, leaving you with an astonished, shy expression, and Heeseung with a contained mischievous grin.
“I’m sorry about them,” you whispered, watching them go before searching for Heeseung’s eyes just to see them already glancing playfully at you.
“Are they lying, though?” Heeseung asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.
You smacked his chest, unable to give a proper response as you buried your face on his neck, muffling a quiet “Stop,” while he hugged you and let it out a precious laugh.
“But… Can I take you to my place today?” His question sounded a bit hesitant, still sweet as honey, while his fingers gently caressed your back. “We don’t have to do anything, I just wanna be with you,” he added with kind eyes after you released yourself from his embrace to face him.
You nodded, “You can,” and offered him a small, genuine smile, making him lose control with your beauty and cuteness and kiss you before heading to his car with you.
The drive was calm, nonetheless your body was pretty tense on the car seat. Your brain was spinning with that night’s outcome. While you had an intense desire to finally have Heeseung the way you dreamed of, you couldn’t help but feel anxious about it too.
You craved his body, his touches, his lips, overall, him. And he had demonstrated to be a good guy so far. Heeseung respected your boundaries, always making sure you felt comfortable even with the minimal invasive touches, like when he tried to touch under your skirt one day and you startled in response.
He murmured a billion “I’m sorry’s” after the episode, and that alone had your heart fluttering in passion, allowing him to slide his bold touches wherever he wanted to, but never further enough to have you fully.
You gulped down your nervousness, looking at Heeseung’s side profile illuminated by the night lights – his honeyed skin was glowing, his black hair messy with sweat, some strands of hair sticking on his exposed forehead, his perfect nose and kissable lips, everything made you dive into your dirtiest thoughts.
You only noticed you arrived at his house when he broke the silence by announcing it, opening the door for you and grabbing your hands instantly as he led you inside the house all the way to his room.
“Imma take a quick shower, okay?” You nodded. “Make yourself comfortable. Don’t be shy.” He pecked your lips before heading to his bathroom.
You sat on the edge of his bed, analyzing how simple his room seemed to be – just the right amount of things he needed to have, like a wardrobe, a big bed and his gamer computer setup. Being in one’s room, for you, always felt like an act of intimacy itself.
You were in the same place he changed clothes, he listened to his favorite music, he played his favorite games, he studied… And the same place he touched himself, he had sex with other persons, he had wet dreams…
“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself, fidgeting your fingers even faster. Your panties got slightly dampened and your body overheated just by thinking of how close you were to Heeseung right now, although you didn’t even had him in your sight.
The sound of the shower turning off indicating he was done showering had your stomach fluttering because he was about to come out of the bathroom, and not a single soul in the earth had you prepared to face his upper body in full display to you – his toned chest, a bit red because of the hot water, being accentuated by a subtle abs, his arms muscles contracting as he dried off his hair.
Heeseung’s boxers peeked through the hem of his sweatshorts, and you swore to God you saw a single droplet of water running all the way down in his beautiful, hot, tanned skin, stopping on his V-line.
“Are you hungry?” Heeseung’s voice broke you out of your trance, finally making you stare at his face instead of his body. He didn’t deny that your voracious eyes eating him alive sent signals directly to his dick, making it twitch inside his clothes. He watched you blink two, three, four times with an unreadable expression, making him frown. “Y/N?”
“Y–yeah?” You snapped out of your imagination of kissing, licking, sucking every part of his body, feeling his skin through your lips. Your mouth watered, but not because of hunger for food.
“Do you wanna order a delivery or something?” Heeseung cocked his head, shamelessly checking you out as well. If you had the right to devour him with your intense gaze, he had it too, undressing you with his eyes while biting his bottom lip.
Your skirt was placed gently on your thighs, your tight crop top evidenced your breast and a little part of your belly was being shown, all too tempting to him, eager to see more of your body.
You swallowed hard, trying to concentrate on anything but your desire of having Heeseung fucking you, failling disastrously. “Um, sure. Sounds good,” you managed to say, your voice clearly trembling as your breath got stuck in your airways.
You had to contain a whimper when Heeseung took a step closer, his towel now hanging in his shoulders as he towered you, lifting your head with two fingers holding your chin.
“What do you wanna eat, angel?” He questioned, and he was definitely not talking about food anymore at this point.
You felt the heat increase in your stomach, your body shivering with his light, warm touch, acting like it was in withdrawal of whatever he could give you. And you wished so hard for him to offer you everything.
“I– I don’t know,” you murmured, blinking slowly, parted lips letting out your hitched breath. “What’s your suggestion?” You forced yourself to take a glance at his look, gasping slightly with how he had shifted to an almost breathtaking lascivious one, slightly hooded, serious and attractive just the right amount to make you squirm uncomfortably in your seat.
“I’m afraid my suggestion does not involve food, my love.” Heeseung’s voice dropped a few tones as he bended forward to lean closer, inches away from you, his warm air brushing against your face, his gaze savoring every single one of your reactions.
“What–” You bit your lip. “What does it involve, then?” You asked under breath, a burn sensation taking place on your cheeks as Heeseung’s grin grew. Your pulse increased in the silent, yet full of unspoken desires, room.
“Well,” he murmured, eyes almost closing as he got closer and closer, lips now touching lightly yours, as he said “I might have to show you. Would you let me?”
Your answer came through actions, your hands quickly took place on his neck and pulled him down to you, tossing the towel to the floor while your mouth chased for his’, desperate for a kiss. It took Heeseung just seconds to react to your intensity, kindly pushing you to lay down on the bed as you tried to keep your lips occupied while moving upwards in a comfortable position; Heeseung crawling on the mattress, never daring to break out the touch.
His fingers dug into your waist while his other arm supported his weight, grinding slowly against your body, pressing his hardened cock on your clothed cunt in order to get any friction he could. A moan escaped your lips, muffled by the kiss, as the heat between your bodies intensified, the thought of causing that reaction in Heeseung making you feel even hotter, more impatient, more desperate for anything he was giving you.
His mouth was working wonders – hot, skilled, passionate as he sucked your tongue, his little groans getting lost in the middle of the kiss. At the same time your fingers brushed his naked chest, his hands infiltrated under your shirt, and your body instantly reacted to the feel of his warm and smooth skin on yours.
Though Heeseung had waited for what felt like ages to have you underneath him like that, he was aware of your insecurities and the fact that it was your first time. Despite how your body responded to his touch, he knew that taking it slow was the right choice, so he made sure you felt safe and cherished as he savored every second.
Heeseung unhurried his movements, gently parting the kiss to catch his breath and taking the opportunity to enjoy the view – your parted, glistened and swollen-kissed lips, your hooded eyes, hiding your lust behind them, but showing him adoration. He smiled, placing a sweet, tender kiss on your jawline, downing to your neck and collarbone, getting drunk on your scent with his lips trailing kind and lascivious touches on your skin.
You grabbed his hair with your hands, pulling Heeseung even closer to your body – as if it was possible – in a way of distracting the anxiety building up on your core. But then you pushed him away, and he showed you a confused gaze.
You smiled shyly and moved your hands so you could undress yourself from your shirt and toss it onto the floor, revealing part of your gorgeous body to his eyes, your breasts placed in your black bra attracting his attention.
“You’re beautiful,” Heeseung whispered, filled with sincerity and care, looking at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world, the most cherished treasure he ever had, with the perfect mix of desire, eyes dripping the need of having more of you.
His touches were light as he traced his fingers from your waist all the way to your clothed boobs, his eyes never leaving yours, taking in every little reaction, every little sound. He paused to ask tenderly.
“Can I take these off?” And when you nodded and helped him to remove your bra, he smiled, not holding back his delighted sigh at the sight of your pretty and hardened nipples.
You felt exposed and your cheeks flushed with a dark ton of red, you had nowhere to hide so you just let Heeseung adore you, until his mouth placed kisses near your breasts, giving you time to assimilate that new experience.
You couldn’t hold back an audible gasp when his lips brushed your sensitive bud, his hot tongue swirling it to suck right after, not too intense, not too light, just the right amount, as if he knew exactly what to do with your body to make you go insane.
“Hee–” you moaned his name when he drifted away to give the proper attention to your other boob while his hand massaged the already a bit swollen one.
The sound of your voice whining Heeseung’s name sent a wave of electricity all over his body, directly to his neglected dick. While he kept going down with his mouth through your belly until he reached the hem of your skirt, he humped slightly on whatever could give him some friction on his sensitive bulge.
He halted his movements when he achieved your inner thighs to look at you with reassuring eyes and a soft smile.
“Tell me to stop if you want me to,” his lips kissed the area and you tensened your legs, not used to being touched in there. However, if it felt too good and in no world you wanted Heeseung to stop.
“I trust you, Hee.”
And Heeseung couldn’t ask for a better way of you saying what he needed to hear. He kept placing hot kisses on your thighs and you bent your knee, the position giving him the full view of your ruined panties, a pool of arousal making it stick to your cunt, the drawing of your folds making its personal show right in front of his eyes.
Heeseung’s mouth watered. He remembered every time he imagined being buried between your legs and, God, he didn’t know if he would be able to hold himself down on this one.
“Would you be okay if I–” He gulped, searching for your eyes, which were already glancing at his drunk-looking figure with curiosity. You never saw that expression on Heeseung’s face, and for some reason it made your clit pulse, walls clenching around nothing. “If I eat you out? You can say no if you don’t feel comfortable doing it on your first time, but I would appreciat–”
“I meant it when I said I trust you.”
You cut off his ramble for two reasons: one, because you weren’t prepared to hear his speech that would pretty much make you feel even more embarrassed; two, you were desperate for some relieve, your body literally aching in desire to feel your release, and if his hot mouth and tongue felt that good on your skin, you shivered just by the thought of having them on your sensitive area.
“Thank you,” Heeseung sounded really relieved that you accepted his request. “I’ll remove your skirt, is that okay?” He asked softly and you nodded, hands gripping on the sheets without knowing much more what to do.
Heeseung tossed your clothing piece on the floor, and when he was about to prepare himself to dive into your pussy, you grabbed his hair. He instantly stopped what he was doing, his heart did a flip with the thought of you giving up on your words, although he would obey whatever your decision was.
But when he looked at you, he noticed your shy smile. “Can you remove your shorts too?”
He let out a little chuckle, “Of course,” and stood up to do what you asked so adorably for him to do.
You enjoyed the view of his dick hard inside his, now, tightened boxers. You wondered if he would fit in you, but you didn’t have time to think much of it as he went back to his position, gaze shifting between your clothed cunt and your anxious eyes.
“Are you okay, princess? Remember, you can always ask me to stop.”
“Yes, Hee. I’m okay,” your voice came out between hitched breaths. “Please, do something, it’s hurting,” you pleaded with a little whine, and that was the green sign for Heeseung to sigh and groan by the sight of you, needy of his mouth on your pussy.
He placed a delicate kiss right on your clothed clit, simply for you to feel comfortable with your area being touched for the first time. Heeseung heard your little moan before losing himself in his mind, distributing hot touches with his lips all over the area.
He then removed your last piece of cloth, the view of your pussy in full display made him swallow hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so, his cock throbbing inside his boxers.
You had your eyes closed, trying to ignore the fact you were very exposed, to focus on the amazing feeling of Heeseung’s hot breath directly where you needed him the most. You moaned when his tongue licked experimentally your folds.
Heeseung slipped his hands under your legs to hold you in a position he gained a better support and kept you open for him as he worked on your cunt.
Your sweet taste melted on his mouth as he ate you out willingly, the tip of his nose brushing on your sensitive clit as he skillfully moved his head to stimulate you in as many areas as he could – his tongue teasing to enter in your entrance, the foreign feeling making you squirm in a bit of a discomfort that quickly waved out of your body because of how good your clit being stimulated was making you feel.
It was a mix of sensations you never really felt; you had touched yourself before, but nothing compares to Heeseung’s amazing mouth and tongue licking, sucking and making out with your pussy. You could feel the knot forming on your stomach as you tensed your body.
“Heeseung,” you moaned a bit loud. “I think I’m close–”
Heeseung broke out of the trance he got himself into to listen to you, afterall he wanted to take care of you.
“I want you to cum on my mouth, is that okay princess?” He asked between little pecks and licks on your folds and clit. You nodded, not knowing exactly if he was seeing you do so.
“Could you look at me, angel?” He questioned, his voice sounding too sweet to the lustful view he was offering you. Hair stuck on his forehead, nose and chin glistened with your arousal. “There you go,” he smirked before diving again into your pussy, his eyes now never leaving your face, even when you rolled your eyes and threw your head back, trying hard to keep with his request.
Your orgasm hit almost instantly, the mix of his devilish looks and how he ate you so passionately worked together for you to achieve your release in his mouth, Heeseung drinking not only your juices, but all of your moans and whines.
He left the area after pecking two, three, four times, and then trailed kisses through your body until he reached the corner of your mouth, watching you breathing heavily with a small smile adorning your lips.
Heeseung decided not to kiss you right away, not only giving you time to recompose but also avoiding you to feel the taste of yourself in his tongue. He loved you for a while, gently brushing his lips on your skin, kissing once and a while, until he felt your hands caressing his hair, tenderly.
“Are you alright?” Heeseung questioned after a while, searching for your eyes.
“Mhm,” you nodded lazily. However, you knew it wasn’t the end, and mostly, you wanted more.
“Do you want to stop?” He caressed your face, moving away some strands of your hair. You shook your head, mischievously smiling. You could feel his still clothed dick literally twitching on your leg, and although your last orgasm was intense and you got a bit tired, you needed to have him even closer to you.
“You are hard as hell, Hee,” you giggled, catching his eyes darkening again. “And I need to feel you inside of me,” you looked at his lips before pulling him down to kiss you properly.
As earlier, the urgency of the touch grew faster and faster, and Heeseung had to remind himself once more that he needed to go slow.
He parted the kiss just to ask with a serious voice “Are you sure about this?”
“More than anything in my life, Hee. I want you,” you gently caressed his cheek, smiling when he pecked your lips before getting on his feet to finally remove his last clothing piece, revealing his whole body to you.
You swallowed when his dick jumped out of his boxers, throbbing, covered in precum, all because of you. You whined with the view, propping yourself up on your elbows when he got closer to your face since he had to get a condom in his nightstand. Your hand automatically rushed to grab his length, peeking up at his face at the right time to catch his face contorted in shock and then, pleasure.
“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, enjoying the warmth of your skin on his neglected, sensitive cock. It was clear you didn’t know exactly what to do, but the movement of going up and down was enough to make Heeseung’s knees weak. He was weak for you, afterall.
Heeseung let you try out whatever crossed your mind and enjoy yourself for a bit, because it meant you were comfortable enough with him to do so, and your endeared and erotic gaze hypnotized him too strongly for him to stop you.
He made sure to moan your name, watching your body reacting to it, trying his best to make you get wet again and make things easier later. He wasn’t faking it, though. Your hands really were doing wonders on his shaft – he watched you positioning yourself to sit on your knees, face with a faint focused frown as you cupped his tip, moving your hand in circles.
Heeseung rolled his eyes, the sensitive area of his dick getting the attention he needed was sending him out of orbit, and you were using just your hands.
“You– You have to stop,” he said as he gently held your wrist, halting your movements. His closed eyes prevented him from noticing your guilty expression, until he heard your voice.
“Sorry,” you murmured quietly, thinking you have done something wrong.
“No, baby. It’s not– I almost came,” he admitted. You didn’t know simple words could make your body heat that fast, your stomach instantly did a flip with his sincere confession.
Heeseung’s lips met yours right away, his body leaning forward so you both could go back to the previous position.
He placed himself in between your open legs, his gaze softening as he watched your anxious face. “I’m going to prepare you,” he explained with a low voice, kissing your neck as his hands went down to find your folds, touching you to collect your arousal and use it to lubricate his finger, “Don’t forget, your word is what guides me.”
Your body fully tensed when he pressed his digit near your entrance, “Relax, my love,” he murmured and kissed your cheek and then your lips. Your heart fluttered with the pet name. “I’ve got you, okay?”
You nodded, closing your eyes tightly, afraid of the pain you were so sure you would feel, however, Heeseung’s light touches on your sensitive area and the kisses he spread over your face got you distracted, almost making you miss when he slid a finger inside you. Your breath got stuck on your throat and he didn’t move, waiting for your body to adjust to the new intruder.
“I’ve never– I’ve never ever put anything inside me before, so it’s all new,” you admitted, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief for verbalizing your discomfort.
“Yeah? You’re doing great, angel.” Heeseung encouraged, gently pulling his finger out while kissing you. You squirmed, a bit uncomfortable. “Such a good girl for me, mhm?”
His wording caused you to clench involuntarily around his finger, a reaction that didn’t went unnoticed by Heeseung. He kept kindly pumping his single finger inside you, teasing to add one more as you whined against his mouth, while he whispered sweet words of encouragement.
“You feel so amazing,” Heeseung said, and something popped into his mind. He decided to test the waters with a dirtier talk, his hot breath tickling your ear. “I can’t wait to feel you around me, so tight and wet,” he kissed your earlobe, his husky voice and words making you whole body shiver, “I promise, Y/N, I’ll make you feel so good,” his teeth nibbled your sensitive spot on your neck and you slightly arched your back, moaning, not even noticing when his second finger entered you.
You were panting a bit, messily whining and squirming, your fingers threaded through his hair, gripping it firmly, forcing him into your neck.
“You’re so tight, I don’t think I’ll last long when I get inside you,” Heeseung sounded muffled, loving the way you squeezed even more around his digits. “Can you feel how my fingers stretch you so well, baby?” His question sounded rhetorical to you, because it was obvious you felt the way he stretched you so amazingly good, your toes curling just by that.
“Hee, please–” You pleaded not quite sure what you were asking for, but your eyes locked onto his with a desperate need. His fingers worked so perfectly inside you, making you wonder how you could be so close to tearing, yearning for his dick, which you never ever had before.
Heeseung grinned, eyes dripping with desire and fondness, wandering your whole body as he removed his digits from you.
“My baby seems a bit desperate, doesn't she?” He teased, chuckling. You watched as he coated his dick with a condom, jerking it off with the precum he collected before to prepare himself for you, never breaking eye contact. He leaned closer. “Don’t worry, I’m just as desperate as you are, my love,” and with that he positioned his tip in your entrance.
You tensed again, but Heeseung's sharp instincts caught the subtle change in your reaction. To help you relax, he covered one of your nipples with his mouth, warm lips sucking the sensitive area, making you moan. His body pressed into yours distracting you from the pain as well.
“Ah–” you gasped, frowning with a flicker of discomfort as he slid his dick inside you; your hands grabbed his shoulders, squeezing with a certain strength as you tried to get over the burning feeling in your cunt.
Heeseung was on the verge of insanity, his sensitive cock aching with your walls tightening around it, so eager for some more friction. He had to dig self control from the deepest place of his mind in order to keep going.
“Shh. I’ve got you, my love,” he kissed your wrist, and then your shoulder, and then your neck, and then your cheeks, and finally your lips, while slowly getting himself fully inside of you, moaning as he did so. “You drive me crazy,” he murmured against your lips, loving how messy you were kissing him, your expression changing little by little from a discomfortable to a pleasant one.
Heeseung remained still for a moment, making out with you while waiting for your body to adjust to his dick. You gently waved your hips forward with a little groan at some point, a silent plea to get more of what he was offering you, and he got the sign immediately.
With a tender smile and after pressing his lips in yours once more, Heeseung began to move, thrusting into you with a necessary slowness at first, that became unneeded the second you started to feel only the delight of being full.
His tip rubbed a certain spot in you that made you flutter your eyes shut while rolling them, moaning loud.
“You liked that, angel?” He asked, desperate to pound harder and faster onto you, still controlling himself. “Tell me, please,” he looked at your lips parted, his name being the only thing coming out of them.
“Y–yes, Hee. It’s so fucking good– Ah,” you threw your head back in the pillow, his response to your compliment making him thrust deeper. “You feel so good, fuck.”
Needless to say that your praise to Heeseung’s work was enough for him to almost fully lose his inner battle of going easier with you. His head rested beside yours and while his movements grew faster, your voice got louder and louder; your fingernails sinking into the skin of his back, his moan close to your ear making you see stars with the overwhelming feeling.
“I’m close,” you whispered, feeling the known knot on your stomach growing stronger as Heeseung kept pounding into your g-spot. You opened your eyes to lock eyes with him, who already had positioned himself to do the same – both of you wanting to see each other reaching their respective climax.
“Come for me, princess,” he demanded with a groan. “Show me how good I’m making you feel.”
The view of Heeseung’s forehead damped in sweat with strand of hairs sticking to it, his parted lips every so often being bit by his teeth while letting out the prettiest sounds and his heavy breaths, his eyes showing your affection, desire, urgency in achieving his own release, and his dirty words, all of it blended together, worked perfectly for you to achieve your orgasm.
A strong wave of desperation and pleasure ran over your body and took you milliseconds to cum all over Heeseung’s dick with a loud moan, your pussy tightening harder around his cock while he drove you through your high at the same time he chased for his own.
“Fuck,” Heeseung moaned, keeping thrusting faster and faster, a frown of concentration adorning his forehead and then he saw you, pretty face contorted in pleasure, your mouth letting out the hottest moans of his name. You felt his cum filling up the condom inside you the same time he moaned your name, making you hiss while he pumped into you a bit more. Eventually he removed himself from you, flopping into your body, tired.
You thought you just had hit cloud nine with the amount of joy and excitement running inside you. A sense of realization making you smile brightly. You enjoyed the sound of your respirations working its best to recompose itself and Heeseung’s heartbeats against your chest.
“I have to say,” your voice came out a bit husky as you lovingly caressed Heeseung’s sweaty back. “Now I do accept the food.”
You heard Heeseung chuckle on your neck, before he kissed there and then your lips. “Yeah, me too.”
The morning after your first night together with Heeseung was filled with doubts.
After the sex, you both got cleaned up and ate the said delivery while watching something on the tv.
Obviously Heeseung didn’t let you go back to your dorm, needing to feel your warm embrace as much as possible. So you two slept together on his big bed, cuddling.
But then you woke up earlier than him, and you took your sweet time to appreciate his serene expression, deep in his sleep – his soft breath, his pretty eyelashes, his slightly parted lips. You sighed, a weird feeling eating away you inside, afraid of being left alone after the last night.
What if he said all of that just to have you one time? What if he did all he did just for that moment to happen? What if he didn’t really mean any of his words? What if he didn’t enjoyed it the way you did?
“What’s with the frown?”
You startled with Heeseung’s groggy voice breaking the silence of the room. “Nothing,” you awkwardly smiled and of course Heeseung didn’t buy it.
“Tell me,” he blinked slowly to focus on your pretty face, snuggling his body into yours. “Tell me what’s going on in this pretty head of yours, my love.”
You gulped, heart racing with his new way of calling you.
Love.
You got lost in your mind for a while before asking “Will you leave me now?” The question came out a bit more stupid than you expected, but at the same time, it was sincere.
Heeseung propped himself up on his elbow to give you a proper look. He removed the hair from your face with a gentle touch, caressing your cheeks with the same amount of care. His voice sounded low. “No,” he shook his head, eyes full of adoration, endearment, and love. “I’ll not leave you. Actually, I’m even more attached to you, my love,” his, oh, so known smirk tugged the corner of his lips. “I’m not going anywhere, unless you want me to.”
You hurried to shake your head, taking in every detail of his pretty features.
“Then I’m staying, and I’ll be taking anything you offer to me,” Heeseung kissed your lips in a different way. Slow, tender, filled with this new emotion – love.
You parted the kiss to look into his sparkly eyes, smiling.
“Then I offer you my everything, Heeseung.”
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