#Genderstuff

[dykepuffs]

I'm wobbling my hands around the idea of "If anyone wants to have gender, everyone has to have gender" and don't know how to square it away without feeling horror at the idea that we can't escape it at all.

Eg, if I want to be "a woman", then everyone talking to me has to decide if they are the same-kind-of-person-as-a-woman or a different-kind-of-person-to-a-woman when they interact with me, to work out (eg) how familiar they can be with me on first meeting, which parts of my appearance are appropriate to comment on, how we can physically interact etc, and likewise if I want to be "a man". Even if I want to be nonbinary, that necessitates some people being, well, binary, and interacting with me as either dissimilar-to-their-gender or similar-to-their-gender.

And it's usually really noticeable when someone doesn't do it- Either that they don't treat trans women like the cis women they know and don't treat trans men like the cis men, even if they're using the right names and pronouns etc, or that they treat nonbinary people as either "same gender to me" or "other gender to me" without any nuance (so, either "as men" or "as women" in practice). Even people who think they "treat everyone the same" often don't, in subtle ways that hinge on gender.

But I don't quite know what to do with this thought.

[knifedaruler]

I feel like people need to realize we are on a fucking floating rock in space. Who cares if someone uses neopronouns and xenogenders? As long as it’s not something wildly offensive why does it matter? Be yourself everyone. xx

[ventbloglite]

People are so damned convinced that kids don't actually understand gender or care about gender stuff (and that's why they can't be trans) even though I work with kids and like...there's a couple of boys (4 y) in the class right now and they have a fave insult for each other. That insult?

"You're a girl." Now, I wonder who taught them that is an insult? I wonder why these children know that's going to be hurtful? Why it's hurtful at all? I wonder why they think it's funny?

Could it be because they understand what the two binary genders are, dislike being misgendered and have been taught that degendering someone (especially a boy into a girl) is a valid and funny thing to do because of course a boy isn't a girl? And they're 4.

[averagenderedmanta]

*grabs a sfw cylinder to take pictures of my nails*

[cr1zz0]

eh.. why not both.

multitrack drifting even..

[pochapal]

i have sicknesses and diseases again

[tirsden]

"blips and blops"

I don't tend to need to express anything like that to groups these days, so for me it's usually one person on the other end like in online games and whatnot. In those cases, I've taken to using "sis/bro/other" when I don't know their preferred terms. "Sir ma'am sir!" is also a favorite.

people keep trying to make "ladies and gentlemen" more inclusive.

I think we should go the other way around.

make more and more weird false dichotomies in greetings. "gamers and pianists". "oil painters and swordsmen". "vexillologists and entomologists". "chess masters and diamond artificers". "accountants and gendered individuals".

we need to be dropping shit into formal meetings to make people say "wait what? which one am I?"

[eros-ghoulette]

Just me or are cis people really emphasizing other people genders that much?

Like my collegue doesn't even means it in a bad way, he's actually a really sweetheart most of the time. But I've never been called a woman so often in my life

[pochapal-pokespe]

its not a copout! That wasnt meant to be too serious of an ask, sorry for the weird implications i dont mean to say anyones more or less autistic. I am autistic myself if it lessens the blow there

getting to this now because i've been busy the last couple days but i'm glad you understand! i also totally get what you mean and where you were coming from with your ask and i understand that there would be no harm done from either you sending the ask or me replying to it! i would just hate to make a post that could very easily be taken in bad faith if seen by anyone lacking the context to fully understand everything and maybe i'm just a little discourse-averse but i know what people online can be like with this kind of stuff!

[commander--wake]

if we're being honest... if we're being honest... if we're being honest. i don't think pyrrha and g1deon had a consummated romantic/sexual relationship in canon. or else why would she ask him to kiss her in that weird way before he killed her, and parallel it with her request to wake (who had never kissed her before). plus some of my canonical g1d/pyrrha fanfic texts (lux perpetua luceat eis and rock, river, permeable flesh) have them as complicated friends and those r very important to my reading of them

however:

i like to write wake/pyrrha/g1deon better when all three sides of the triangle are completed, because then you get jealousy, angst, and mourning your lost love in all three directions, not to mention pyrrha #bodystuff #genderstuff; and

killing and eating someone as part of your lyctoral ascension is also a consummation so. pyrrwakeons stay winninggggggg

[4lpabet]

more transfem hc/au/etc. battler art bc there was no way i was going to just let that lie. behold! an extremely normal fit! maybe the desire to wear belts lopsided is a heritable trait

like last time, you can basically read this scenario however you'd like & any pronouns apply -- but i do have a little bit of an idea of where i'm coming from (rambles below)

my read on things/the scenario i came up with is that she probably didn't have the language to define any of this. even with more access to the outside world i think that like... conservatism's the name of the game when it comes to being raised in any sort of proximity to the ushiromiyas!! battler was really just exploring genderstuff & personal expression in private during the time when she was off of the ushiromiya register. no eggs were cracked in the traditional sense, genderfluidity & genderqueerness abound. i don't plan on making this a single story or anything but i might make stuff related to it occasionally!

[lindentea]

Was talking about genderstuff while lounging about with my partner C yesterday, after they'd just gotten out of the shower with freshly shaved legs. I (a butch dyke) was wearing a tiny sundress, which I only do in the house, never in public, and enjoy for the genderfuckery as well as the very practical purpose of it being summer and it's comfy af.

I was idly touching their thigh, reveling in the softness of their skin, and they asked me if I'd ever maybe shave my legs again for them. They made it clear they were not trying to pressure me at all, and that they love my body hair and think it's hot, but they also enjoy feeling a partner's smooth skin. And tbh I do really like and miss the feeling of smooth-skin-on-smooth-skin, too. I only shaved for a few years of my adult life (when I was 29-32), during which time C and I happened to start seeing each other in 2016.

I explained that, just as they feel a lot of dysphoria when they haven't shaved for several days, I feel a ton of dysphoria without my fluffy body hair. I feel uncomfortable when non-partners see me without my furry legs, armpits, or mutton chops. I'd be a lot more likely to try shaving my legs in winter than summer, because it could be entirely private. Femininity for me is literally a fetish for the irony of being a butch bottoming (and sometimes topping) in a sundress, and not any sort of genuine expression of my gender. Conversely, C still feels dysphoria wrt body and facial hair regardless of whether anyone can see their legs, armpits, or face.

Anyhow, I don't know how to wrap this post up so I'll just say I love my androgynous service top tomboi, and they love their awkward little butch imp. And maybe once it's Jeans Weather again I'll try shaving if I make them beg and squirm for it ...I mean uh, if they ask nicely. ;)

[sharenadraculea]

My brain got out the femme Prinarch Au again. It is 100% just a excuse to worldbuild a lot of genderstuff and how it affects different people.

[wysteir]

Thinkin abt genderstuffs and narrowing it down to like. Formal Gender should be dress + hat is witch, dress + apron + headband is maid

Maybe a mantle for witchery...

Much to pekothink abt

[ginstermoff]

Genderstuff n shit, oki? Oki.

Y'all, i did some introspection and it turned out my body feels different due to disability and body dysmorphia, not genderstuff and uh i think i might be cis? I dunno, gender weird and I'd rather not have one but i'm also not supermad i got stamped with the girl tag as a baby.

So uuuhhhhhh I'm still an ally to all my trans homies tho! <3 I'm just here questioning and figuring shit out.

[faithdeans]

hi isaac i love u and wanted to ask more about boygirlishness. i feel a lot like a boygirl because i was raised female and still have those standards floating around in my head … so even though im a dudeboy now it feels wrong to call myself a trans man or really take myself any farther masculine than boy or dude . does that make sense ? also u r samgender i am deangender . want big pretty eyelashes and pretty clothes to layer under masc clothes . just a little gender dump and ily

oh hi nick i love you but you don't wanna ask me about genderstuff. i literally learnt the term "boygender" the other week (thanks to cody deancodedinthewater) but yeah i mean i have no idea what i am doing with my gender. i wanna look like sam i wanna look like a boy but i don't think i'm a man you know? so i go with non-binary as an umberella term bc it gives me more room yk and boygirl is a microlabel that works for me rn.

here's the definition: refers to someone who identifies as both a Male and a Female, is connected to both boyhood and girlhood, or whose identity is so interconnected it cannot be separated.

i'd say i'm the last one.