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bardofthursdays · 4 years

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Your Love is Sunlight...

Relationships: Geralt/Jaskier

Rating: Gen

Content Warnings: None

Summary: Geralt finally visits Oxenfurt and sees Jaskier interacting with people like him in an environment that suits him and... feelings present themselves.

Read on Ao3 here

Jaskier sighed, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow at his companion. Geralt was being unusually huffy and unusual huffy-ness from the Witcher usually indicated one of three things. Lack of food, lack of sex, or a struggle to suppress unwanted emotions.

It couldn't be hunger, Jaskier reasoned. They had been in Oxenfurt for almost a week now, feasting so much every night that even a Witcher’s hunger would be easily satisfied. And at said feasts, more than one particularly brave student had propositioned the Witcher, most likely emboldened by the many tales Jaskier often spun of the man whilst wintering there.

You see, Oxenfurt was a safe haven of sorts, a place where Bards could sing their more heartfelt ballads. Songs the general public would find too maudlin or sappy. So, of course, every winter Jaskier would sing of his hopeless pining and endless longing, with thinly veiled metaphors and pronoun changes that fooled absolutely no one.

Anyway, surprisingly enough, the Witcher had turned every one of those brave students down. So it was likely not the second option... besides, Jaskier could practically hear him thinking over there with his creased brow and the fact that he’d been fucking pacing around the Bard's chambers for the last half hour.

Option three then. Lovely.

"Alright, spit it out then Witcher, what's got your emotional knickers in a twist?"

He winced at his own word choice before pulling his travelling companion over to the hutch in the corner. They sat next to each other in silence for a beat.

Jaskier sighed loudly.

"We both know I'll get it out of you eventually, so we might as well skip the…" He waved his hand around, racking his brains for the right word. "Haggling."

Geralt let out a sigh of his own, opening and closing his mouth a few times before sighing yet again. Frowning slightly.

Jaskier ached to reach out and smooth the creases from his face, take all of his cares away and share the load for a while. He pushed the desire down, rubbing his fingers together instead. An old nervous habit.

The Witcher ran a hand over his face before finally speaking. When he spoke, he spoke in groups, as he often did when searching for the right words.

"Seeing... seeing you here, in your home... with your people... this, this is where you belong, Jaskier. This place is filled with everything you love. Music, color, endless food and ale. People who not only listen to you, but hang off your every word..."

The words Geralt couldn't say weighed on him heavily, clawing at his throat, filling his every last thought.

It's by the coast. You love the coast. I'm sorry I never took you there. I wanted to. Even though I hate the coast. It's beautiful here, you're beautiful here. It feels like you. Smells like you. Flowers, and those stupid perfumes you like. You... You. You. You-

"You belong here..." He finished lamely.

A series of emotions crossed the Bards face, eventually landing on something forlorn.

"Are you... are you trying to say I don't belong by your side?"

He smirked, putting on an offended front. But Geralt saw right through it. His voice was too quiet and uncharacteristically shaky...

The Witcher's eyes widened, and he quickly realized that despite his best efforts, he had once again managed to fuck up his wording.

"No! No, Jaskier I-" He grunted, scowling as the words refused to come out. "This. This is what you... what you deserve. You deserve a warm bed every night... friends... friends who listen... who understand you-" He paused, looking down at his clenched fists and taking a deep breath. "Friends who aren't afraid to admit that they care for you..."

He heard the Bard's breath hitch, and somehow managed to power on despite his sudden urge to pull the other man into his arms. To run his hands through his chestnut brown hair and tell him just how important, just how loved he truly is. But he wasn't even sure he was ready for that conversation. No matter how overdue it was.

"You don't deserve sleepless nights on the dirt. Fearing for your life not only on the road, but in towns... travelling with a mutant that often gets you kicked out of the few taverns you actually get to stay in."

Jaskier nudged him slightly with his shoulder at the word mutant, giving him a look he knew very well. It was his 'stop degrading yourself, Geralt, it doesn't suit you in the slightest and you know it isn't true' look. Geralt huffed, rolling his eyes and continuing.

"You could be here, you could teach, share your music. Be bright. I mean- I just don't understand why you follow me. Me, of all people."

"Oh, Geralt..." The Bard's voice was shaky, as was the hand he laid hesitantly upon the Witcher's too slow heart. Geralt suppressed a smile at the familiar gesture. It had started when one of his hunts had gone wrong.

He'd stumbled back to camp, half dead. His heart had stopped, and luckily Yennefer had been there to start it again. When he awoke, Jaskier had his hand pressed to his chest, feeling his heartbeat. The Bard had tried to apologize, taking his hand away with obvious effort, but Geralt had only pulled it right back.

Now it was a sort of grounding method, for both of them. A way to connect and fully be there with each other in the moment.

Bright blue eyes flicked up to his. He paused, taking a shaky breath, and then suddenly began to sing, ever so softly.

"The moment I met you the colors of my life began to pool..."

Geralt easily recognized it. It was from one of his ballads. One of the real ones, the ones he never played. Not in dingy taverns nor grand courts. No, these… these he sang late into the night, when he thought the Witcher was asleep. With only the trees and the moths that flitted near their dying fire as an audience... and Geralt, always Geralt. For he'd never admit it, but those ballads seemed to speak to his very soul, in ways he never knew possible. He recognized it, but he didn't understand.

Jaskier rolled his eyes, he hadn't expected him to understand, but he never missed an opportunity to quote himself.

"Geralt, Oxenfurt… Oxenfurt may very well be bright and colorful, filled with my admirers, and endless food and ale." He chuckled softly. "But… Without you by my side, the colors of the world seem... dull. Without you, my music fades and the colors fade with it. You are my muse, Geralt of Rivia, a life without you is a life without music. And a life without music is one I simply cannot live."

Geralt reached out and pressed his thumb to the Bard's cheek, wiping away a tear Jaskier hadn't noticed fall. The Bard continued, shakier yet.

"Besides, these people, they- they listen, yes, and they care, and they… Ah, They understand what I'm saying, sure. But... They don't 'understand me' like you say. That's the thing, Geralt, and listen well. That's what makes this- this... friendship work. Against all odds. We aren't as different as it seems. No one understands us and, frankly, we hardly understand ourselves most of the time." He laughed wetly. "But we understand each other. Somehow, we understand."

He let the tears fall, not feeling any need to hide them. Geralt wiped away every one of them, each touch more tender and gentle than the last. Who ever would have guessed that a Witcher could be so soft. Well, Jaskier would have. But still.

"Because Geralt, Oxenfurt was never my home, nor was my birthplace... I-I never had a home... until, until you."

His voice broke, and the hand not cradling the Bard's face fell, tangling with the hand still pressed against his heart. Jaskier threaded their fingers together happily before continuing.

"You are my home, Geralt. You are my light, my sun, you are everything to me and more. I know you. Know you better than almost anyone... And-"

"Jaskier-"

Geralt rasped.

"And I love you."

All of the air was punched from Geralt's lungs. Jaskier reached up, resting his fingers on the Witcher's chin and gently tilting his head to catch his eyes.

Gold met cornflower blue.

"I know you... And I love you."

Geralt let out a choked noise.

The bard smiled sadly then.

"I am aware that you don't feel the same... but that doesn't matter because- because y-"

Geralt cut him off with a kiss. Because he was being idiotic and it seemed to be the right solution.

he had no regrets as the Bard's lips were impossibly soft against his. Softer than he had imagined… and he had imagined. The kiss was short and surprisingly chaste, as Jaskier seemed to be having trouble breathing. A smile tugged at Geralt's lips, and he let it.

Resting their foreheads together, one hand still tangled with the Bard's on his chest, the other cradling his neck softly.

"I love you too you idiot"

Jaskier laughed, a hint of hysteria to it.

"Took you long enough to tell me you buffoon."

Geralt smiled then, really smiled, crinkly eyes, overly sharp teeth and all.

Jaskier kissed him then, because it was just about the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Geralt broke off rather quickly, much to Jaskier's annoyance. He had been waiting quite long enough, they both had...

The Witcher soothed him by running a hand through his hair. The Bard hummed and leaned into the touch as Geralt spoke.

"I was just thinking... well I always thought you were the sun, all bright and warm. But you said I'm your sun... I don't understand."

Jaskier grinned crookedly, wrapping his arms around the Witcher's neck.

"That’s incredibly poetic of you, Geralt. But no, you are the sun, I am the moon. Because I am only bright and warm because of your light, dear Witcher. Besides, have you seen your eyes? Golden like the sun. Or like fresh honey or- or a wheat field or-"

He kissed the bard once again. Finding it a quite effective and mutually beneficial method of shutting him up... though it wasn't the only one that came to mind. At this thought he grinned, a feral thing, and lifted the bard, carrying him to the bed and promptly shutting him up once more.

And again...

And again.

Their laughter and general, ahem, noise making, rang in the corridors until even the Bards had had quite enough of their merriment.

Luckily, the open road had no such complaint.

Needless to say... Geralt was rarely found to be in an especially Huffy mood after that day.

#the witcher #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #geraskier-fluff #geraskier hurt comfort #feelings happen #jaskier pankratz #jaskier #geralt of rivia #they are so very dumb #geralt shuts him up #its soft

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coaxionunlimited · 4 years

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Moderately Rare Untamed/MDZS Fic Recs

For when you find fic from sorting by kudos, but you’ve got tag fatigue and you want to read something new. Or, hey, maybe you just want some MDZS fic recs. I’m not here to judge. * means it’s incomplete, for those of you that care.

Obligatory WangXian Category:

crack in the mirror by the_pretzel*: The premise of this one is that Wei Wuxian gets transported from the modern world into a mystery novel series, set in ancient China. But he’s in the body of a character that’s about to get married, and then murdered by his husband. So he breaks the engagement by starting a new one with Lan Wangji and then the first chapter ends. This one is a rollercoaster. WWX soon discovers that his character’s been keeping secrets, and he’s got to figure them out if he wants to get out of this alive. If there was a best drama award for fics, this one would get it. Every chapter has me on the edge of my seat in a different way, as WWX gets out of one mess only to find himself in a bigger one. And that doesn’t even touch on the romance - this is one of the ones where you can just about feel all the pining LWJ is doing, even though it’s WWX pov and he’s oblivious to all of it. Honestly, this fic is the reason this rec list exists.

set your old heart free series by words-writ-in-starlight: Do you like crying? I like crying. That’s why I’m recommending this series to you, so you can cry too! I’m putting this under WangXian, because it’s a story about Lan Wangji and you can’t really have LWJ without the pining, but the real core of the story is the family LWJ has built in Cloud Recesses. Lan Shizui and Lan Xichen, and eventually (because this series starts just after WWX dies - what, I did say I liked crying) Wei Wuxian joins in. There’s even a little Wen Ning! If you like having feelings and also any of the characters I’ve mentioned, like, at all, this series is worth checking out.

The Terminus of Gravity by sealdog: Every fandom needs a space opera au, and sealdog delivers. This is pretty much a strait transportation of the plot of canon to the future and also space, with a side of epistolary and Wen remnants family time, and I’ll stop there because I don’t really want to spoil it. I’m a huge sucker for melancholy and pining and also well written space operas, because even if the premise isn’t your game, it is well written, and it’s worth a read.

Tales from Bunny Mountain by telarna: Lan sect turns into bunnies because of an excess of yin ener- look, we get Lan Zhan as a bunny with bonus Lan Shizui as a bunny. Do you really care why? This is another one of those fics that’s in the WangXian section because if LWJ and WWX are in a fic together, some things just come naturally, but the real draw for me is- well, I’m not going to lie, most of the draw was LWJ as a bunny, but I stayed with the fic for Jin Ling. Good Jin Ling characterization and a lovely, mischievous WWX, who also happens to be a very good uncle. And we have Lan sect as bunnies. Terrible, troublesome bunnies. 11/10, a must read.

through a window softly by impossibletruths: Okay, finally, we finish off the WangXian section with a fic that is actually about WangXian, not just featuring it prominently. through a window softly is a college au where LWJ and WWX are two different types of music major and also neighbors. WWX plays flute and LWJ plays violin and sometimes they stand outside their apartments and play together and pine for the mystery person that’s playing music with them. Look, they fall in love through playing music together, I’ve been looking for a fic like this since WWX first pulled out his flute in canon. There’s misunderstandings and identity porn, if you need some excellent bonus reasons to click this one, and I enjoyed both of those immensely. But what I really, truly loved was WangXian and love and music, and the intersection of all three.

Nie Huaisang: gen edition. Because I have a favorite character and that’s your problem now.

Mistakes We Made by Rachel3*: Nie Huaisang travels back in time and decides to prevent his brother’s death. This is the Nie Huaisang fic for me. I love love love his characterization here. Rachel3 strikes the delicate balance between the sweet kid he once was and the mastermind he grows up to be, making him competent but not an OP genius and sympathetic but not, like, a very good person. The plot is complex and realistic, tackling the sort of complex struggles (both interpersonal and large scale) that time travel fics very rarely bother with. If you've ever been curious about NHS, if you’ve ever even wanted to know him slightly better, this is the fic for you.

The Lost Cause by KouriArashi: AU in which Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao work together to take down Jin Guangshan from the beginning. I recommended the last fic for good characterization. I can’t in good conscience say the same for this fic, but that’s kind of the point. If you’re tired of moderation and realism and just want someone to take the hammer and fix canon already, this is the story for you. It’s hilarious and cathartic, and manages to be totally lighthearted even though it’s 100% about murder and manipulation.

say those words (it’s not forgotten) by paranoid_fridge: This is edging on too well known for this list, but hey! My recs, my rules. And this is an absolute must read for everyone ever. If you haven’t read it, you should, and if you have read it, you can probably stand to do it again. This is a story about Nie Huaisang’s birthday. It’s a slice of life story, and a character study, and a little bit of a feel good hurt comfort fic, and it does all of those things magnificently. The author tags every relationship in this fic except the one braincell trio, which is a shame because it really is a NHS & WWX & JC fic, and if you weren’t craving one of those then why are you in this fandom? Why are you on my reclist?

SangCheng is my OTP and that is also your problem:

best behavior by inberin: I might as well take this space to recommend the whole sangcheng revenge au (dancing ashes under the sun (will cast their shadow when the winds rise) by paranoid_fridge really is the fic for it, but it’s too well known to make this list). The premise is simple, Jiang Cheng lost his golden core, the Wens won, and Nie Huaisang is taking them down from the inside with JC as his right hand man. best behavior makes the list for JC and NHS trolling each other (my favorite part of any sangcheng fic), and the lovely angst of two teenagers who grew up much too fast. The writing style of this one is lovely and poetic, the imagery is on point, and the sangcheng chemistry is the best.

Of Trespassing and Table Slams by LiteralistSin: I’ve put a fluffy fic in every category so far, and it’s SangCheng’s turn. There’s not much plot to this one, just SangCheng trying to outmaneuver each other and NHS being a little shit, and JC getting to win for once. Oh, yeah, and NHS gets kissed on a table. Everything my SangCheng loving heart needs.

everything rynleaf has ever written: I’m putting this one under sangcheng because rynleaf has three sangcheng fics, and I couldn’t pick just one. Really though, you should at least check out What Remains of Meng Yao too, if you like crying. The sangcheng fics all strike the lovely balance between sangcheng tension and trolling each other and really truly sincerely caring about each other beneath all of it. Rynleaf writes some of the sweetest Jiang Cheng you ever did see, even when you’re looking through NHS’ jaded eyes. NHS is great here too, in all his secrets and his magnificent bastardry, you can just feel the smug smile he’s got on in every scene.

our footsteps sing a reckless serenade by ThirtySixSaveFiles: Because I cannot believe this one has so few kudos. Seriously, it’s a 46,000 word long modern with magic au where Jiang Cheng and NHS have an arranged marriage and fall in love. And that’s not even getting into the intrigue and the secrets NHS is keeping, and the murder mystery- There’s a lot of reasons to love this fic, and you definitely want to read it and discover all of them.

#wangxian #the untamed #mdzs #nie huaisang #sangcheng #fic recs

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festiveferret · 5 years

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Put on the Suit Discord Server - Hurt/Comfort Bingo Masterpost

@avengersnewb and I ran a special collaborative bingo event for the MCU Stony 18+ Discord Server. It was a blast! Thank you to all the participants who helped the event be a success. Here is the card we filled as a team:

Yay, blackout!! Below the cut is a masterpost of all the fills. You can also check out the AO3 collection!

Square: T3 - Hanahaki Disease Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20582567 Title: your slightest look Author: Stardating Rating: Gen Warnings: None Summary: Romance novels said that love was not supposed to be about suffering, or some other poetic lie. Clearly, none of those authors ever spent their days coughing up bouquets.

Square: T1 - Torture Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20598863 Title: Don’t Leave Me This Way Author: FestiveFerret Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: Tony can see a way out, but he has to go alone.

Square: O1 - Substance Abuse Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20609387 Title: I’m a trainwreck, I’m a car crash (but you are stuck with me) Author: ArcadeGhostAdventurer Rating: M Warnings: Underage Summary: Tony comes into Steve’s life with a crash and a bang that disrupts that quiet struggle of the night in a way that only Tony can manage.

Square: T3 - Hanahaki Disease Link: https://arcadeghostadventurer.tumblr.com/post/187698372003 https://archiveofourown.org/works/21095543 Title: Untitled (Art) Author: ArcadeGhostAdventurer Rating: G Warnings: Blood

Square: S4 - Held Ransom/Kidnapping Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20660228 Title: One Thing Right Author: ohjustpeachy Rating: G Warnings: None Summary: Steve never meant for Tony to find out. Then again, he never really meant to get so far in himself. Then Tony got kidnapped, and it all went to shit.

Square: T4 - “Please wake up” Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20667656 Title: Eyes and ears, love blooms in a whisper Author: HogwartsToAlexandria Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: If you're wondering about what would have happened if Tony hadn't woken up right after he fell from the wormhole at the end of the battle of New York and had been in a coma instead, well, Pam can tell you how that would have gone.

Square: S3 -Drunken Confessions/Sober Denials Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20679566 Title: Drunken Confessions and Using Your Words Author: athletiger, betheflame Rating: E Warnings: None Summary: Tony and Steve are clearly in love with each other. Everyone knows it. Except them. Until one night where Steve in a tuxedo combined with too many cocktails pushes Tony over his edge and he sends a text.

Square: Y3 - Lost in Space/Time Link: https://archiveofourown.orgworks/20682707 Title: time travel is not our friend (but you were mine) Author: KiwiBerry Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: Tony likes to touch things that aren't his. Time travel is a relatively new side effect.

Square: S5 - Nightmares/Insomnia Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20690672 Title: I know that it hurts like hell Author: ArcadeGhostAdventurer Rating: M Warnings: See author’s note Summary: Tony loves the fun kind of insomnia. He knows people around him get worried nonetheless but he at least gets to create. Come down from it knowing he achieved something, at least. This is not the fun kind of insomnia.

Square: Y1 - “I’m not good enough for you” Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20733281 Title: These Wings Were Made to Fly Author: athletiger Rating: E Warnings: None Summary: Steve’s heart ached in pain, and his eyes burned with unshed tears. The first words that came out of his mouth were hoarse and raw. “What’s wrong with my wings ma?” His ma wasn’t happy that his translucent wings turned to something colorful when he finally came of age for it to molt; she looked terrified when she looked at them. He knew that, with the way Sarah looked at them, his wings weren’t something to be proud of, no matter how beautiful he initially thought they were. Sarah slowly walked over to him, trying to mask her fear and her sadness, coming up to hug him. But he noticed that that hug was slightly more impassioned; she was drawing away from him. “Black wings is bad luck,” she said into his ear. “They remind people of death. Don’t ever show anybody your wings.”

Square: T5 - Major Illness/Injury Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20741684 Title: Red Sand Author: peculiva Rating: T Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Summary: “There is a hole in Tony's side. As in an actual hole caused by a jagged piece of metal that once must have held the place up. Now it's no longer supporting large concrete floors but lodged in Tony's torso.”

Square: Y2 - Deserumed Steve Link: https://downeyhills.tumblr.com/post/187989233257/b-bingo-fill-yep-for-deserumed-steve-dont-judge Title: Untitled (Art) Author: anoo Rating: G Warnings: None

Square: N5 - Taking Refuge/Canadian Shack Link:https://archiveofourown.org/collections/MCU_stony_discord_bingo/works/20781980 Title: Keep Me Warm At Night Author: MountainRose (Shark) Rating: G Warnings: None Summary: Tony and Steve meet for business, but a storm blows in and everything gets a little more intense.

Square: Collab Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20808041 Title: Rock Hopping Author: Dodo, MountainRose Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: Two round belly boys strike off in their own rock sitting scenarios and become internet sensations.

Square: N2 - No Armour Tony Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20813009 Title: Sobriety Chips and Salsa Author: betheflame Rating: M Warnings: None Summary: Sure, they all knew Tony was an alcoholic, but he had it basically under control, right? Right? Or, the story where he absolutely didn't, but eventually does, and both he and Steve remember the meaning of their vows.

Square: S1 - Past Abuse Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20810237 Title: Ginger Author: FestiveFerret Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: Steve is resigned to being alone; he's not exactly anyone's ideal alpha, but he doesn't mind. He has a job he believes in, an apartment he loves, and a comfortable routine. That is, until the smells from his cooking draw a hungry, extremely pregnant omega to his door, and he finds himself falling in love. But Tony belongs to someone else, and no amount of ginger can change that.

Square: N1 - Minor Illness/Injury Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20839913 Title: Spun Author: FestiveFerret, Ashes0909 Rating: M Warnings: None Summary: “Dance with me,” Tony said, grinning.

Square: N3 - Trouble with the Law Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20856758 Title: Pumpkin Spice Author: misbehavingvigilante Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: Here he was a witch playing at human deceiving a really nice person who apparently saw something in him but then Steve just made it easier to breathe around him.

Square: Y4 - Loneliness Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20861993 Title: desert nights (are cold, like my heart) Author: ArcadeGhostAdventurer Rating: G Warnings: None Summary: Steve shouldn't have taken that mission..

Square: T2- Attacked by Media Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20868401 Title: Macaron Author: MountainRose Rating: G Warnings: None Summary: Tony brings Steve a delicious treat and needs a hug.

Square: O1 - Substance Abuse Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20873021 Title: Old Spice Author: Dodo Rating: M Warnings: None Summary: Adapting in the future is hard luckily old bay is the same, and Steve has a bit of an obsession with it, at first Tony finds it exacerbating but he learns to accept the old spice as Steves show him just how much he loves it.

Square: N1 - Minor Illness/Injury Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20878958 Title: [Podfic] Every Word is Nonsense (But I Understand) Author: only_more_podfucs (only_more_love) Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: Podfic for "Every Word is Nonsense (But I Understand)," by only_more_love. Recorded for the Minor Illness/Injury square of the Put on the Suit Discord server's October 2019 H/C Bingo event. Steve catches Tony during a weak moment.

Square: N4 - Self-Esteem Issues/Body Insecurities Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20907002 Title: song of unrest Author: ohjustpeachy Rating: G Warnings: None Summary: How was Steve supposed to reconcile all of this? The way he looked so different but still felt so much the same? It made Steve’s head spin. He knows he shouldn’t care so much, that he is what he is, but he just wants to know.

Square: S4 - Held Ransom/Kidnapping Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20921819 Title: Tony's PTSD vs The Power of Denial- Fight! Author: JacarandaBanyan Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: Tony's PTSD vs The Power of Denial- Fight! by JacarandaBanyan Steve would say that Tony got kidnapped. Tony would disagree- sure, it may seem like he had been abducted by unknown agents, and was now being held captive in this dark, dusty room in a basement somewhere. But was he really? As soon as he got these cuffs off, he wouldn’t be a captive anymore, and was it really an abduction if there wasn’t any style or finesse involved?

Square: O2 - Self Sacrifice Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20937137 Title: no joy, only almonds Author: janonny Rating: G Warnings: None Summary: Unthinkingly, Steve had told Tony he liked Almond Joy on their very first date, except...he really didn’t. And now, he didn’t know how to tell Tony the truth, not after he spent so long forcing himself to eat all the candy bars that Tony kept giving him.

Square: N3 - Trouble with the Law Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20967350 Title: The Trouble With Wanting Author: Orange_Coyote Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: When a deep-seated urge to protect goes awry, Steve finds himself learning something he'd never really given much thought to before.

Square: O5 - Presumed dead Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20963147 Title: The Phone Author: AvengersNewB Rating: M Warnings: None Summary: Tony hates the flip phone Steve sends him, but he keeps it close at all times, and it never rings until it finally does and the news might help put things into perspective - Captain America : Civil War fix-it. or The phone can't take the place of your smile.

Square: O4 - Relationship Drama/Arguments Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20995112 Title: I wish I (never) hated you Author: KiwiBerry Rating: M Warnings: None Summary: Tony wants to fix things between them. He's pretty sure Steve wants the same. So why is it so damn hard for the two of them to meet in the middle?

Square: S2 - “What if I can’t?” Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21066836 Title: fighting for home Author: sweeetmonstrosity Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: It was one of his biggest fears that he would lose the people he loved in battle when he could have stopped it. And now that it’s happened, he chose to let go of the one he loved in fear of losing him, too.

Square: S2 - “What if I can’t?” Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21101813 Title: Shards Author: Anonymous Rating: T Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Summary: Pepper Potts died during the events surrounding extremis. Tony grieves an secludes himself. Steve Rogers however, freshly thawed, will not be shaken off that easily. Tony on the other hand has to make a choice between emotions and rationality.

Square: Y4 - Loneliness Link:https://orangedelusions.tumblr.com/post/188468701021/so-what-if-i-accept-this-ring-the Title: Untitled (Art) Artist: Oren-jii Warnings: None

Square: Y1 - “I'm not good enough” Link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/21115445 Title: Never Enough Author: avengersNewB Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: "Tony, what I'm trying to say is … I think you should have a baby even though I apparently can't have one. At least in the near future. I think...I think…" He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath." I think you should get bonded again"

#mcu stony discord server hurt/comfort bingo event #hurt/comfort #stony #bingo #masterpost #Put on the Suit

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the-minyard-twins · 5 years

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Andreil Fic Rec

I’ve always wanted to do a fic rec so here we are! I’ve read a lot of Andreil recently and these are my top 28 favorite Andreil and AFTG fics

1. Trust Fall (And Welcoming Arms) by SpangleBangle

85k | Explicit

Life goes on after the Foxes win the championship, and for Andrew and Neil it’s uncharted territory with only each other for guides. Maybe it’s time to put away some of those hard edges, and learn how to touch more softly, and speak more honestly. And if they falter, they have their family to help them get back on their feet.

2. Learning To Feel (When You’ve Forgotten How) by thegirlwiththeprettybrowneyes

43k | Teen | No Proust AU

On the night before his first day of therapy at Easthaven, Andrew blows out his legs and decides he isn’t going to bury his feelings anymore, consequences be damned. In return, he gets a schedule change, and a very strange new therapist. /////// “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you,” Andrew finished, looking anywhere but at Neil’s face. Neil looked like he had just realized the sky was blue. “You like me,” Andrew sighed. “Yeah,” he said, resigned “Yeah, Neil, I like you,” /////// No Proust AU

3. Broken by Jeni182

34k | Explicit

Andrew attempts suicide and he and Neil try to navigate his recovery and healing together.

4. Waves by Jeni182 (sequel to Broken)

94k | Explicit

Broken Part II - Neil and Andrew try to navigate life post Andrew’s suicide attempt now that he’s in Denver and Neil’s in his last year at PSU.

5. Funky Happenings with the Fox Family by dobbypussypopper

29k | Teen | text!fic

naughtygayweedcrime: did I rlly just see neil say woke

naughtygayweedcrime: what a surreal timeline we live in

dumbfool: allison is trying to teach me how to meme so I can get hip

naughtygayweedcrime: bless your poor soul

davidwymack: sometimes I regret living

davidwymack has muted exyllent, damnwilds, + 7 others for 30 minutes

6. Something in Return by reaching _my_summit

31k | Mature

“Andrew Minyard, how will you celebrate winning your final college Exy championship?”

“I’m going to Disney World,” Andrew deadpans.

- - -

Andrew’s final year at Palmetto State comes to a close. His future is upon him and there are plans to be made. Years ago, Neil asked Andrew to stop smoking in exchange for something. Andrew finally knows what he wants in return.

7. The Unloved Kids by AlrightDarlin

35k | Not Rated

“I intend to treat them the same. I need strong athletes, not toddlers,” Wymack starts, but sits back with a sigh, running a hand over his face. “But hypothetically, if I had to look after a bunch of toddlers on the weekends…”

Betsy’s eyes crinkle with her smile. “Are you asking advice?”

“They’re screwed up enough,” Wymack says, “I’m not trying to make it worse.”

(David Wymack takes his little nightmares and does his best to corral them and love them within an inch of their lives. He can’t change what happened to them, but he can be there for them now.)

8. Turn it Off by elawless

10k | Mature

“It hurts…so much…too…much” He choked out between breaths. “I want to let go so…bad. I am so close”. He lifted his head to look at Andrew and saw no blue in his eyes and believed Andrew was real, but the rest of the pain was. It was just enough for him to trust Andrew with what he would say next.

“Stay. Give me Neil back. Don’t leave.” Andrew could no longer cover all of his desperation, his voice seemed to crack on the last word.

“Just let me turn it off. Just for today. Neil will come back. Bring him back, for the both of you.”

9. VW Actually Means “Very Weird” by exyjunkies

15k | Gen

If it was just going to be the two of us, then why bring the Volkswagen?

So that if I end up murdering you on this road trip, I’ll have enough space for clean-up.

Neil and Andrew take on the Pacific Coast Highway over the span of two and a half weeks, with a surprise for one of them at the very end.

10. Puzzle Pieces by Nikotheamazingspoonklepto

59k | Explicit | Series

Neil’s life is a puzzle, the people in it are the pieces that give everything meaning. Together they make a picture of happiness.

11. diet mountain dew by reaching_my_summit

2k | Teen

neil thinks andrew is very pretty. he tells andrew exactly that.

12. For Science by ClockworkDragon, DeyaAmaya

8k | Explicit

“Here’s what I propose: we’ll play a game, and I’ll even let you pick which one, but we’re going to set some stakes. I’m not going to let you talk big and walk away free of punishment if you lose.” Without hesitating, Kevin asked, “Fine, I choose Trivial Pursuit. What are the stakes?” Allison put a finger to her lips and tilted her head, as if she was actually thinking of a response and didn’t plan this whole thing days ago. “Hmm, did you know the spirit store recently added fox themed thigh-high socks to their stock? They’ve become quite popular amongst cheerleaders.” This statement seemed to throw Kevin off because he just stared blankly at Allison until she continued. Andrew was not, however, an idiot. He could see where this was going. “How about whoever loses has to wear the socks for an entire school day; including morning and evening practices?” “Holy shit,” Nicky whispered. “You are one devious bitch.” Allison winked.

13. ain’t no rest for the wicked by dearhappy

8k | Teen | Lucifer!AU

“You really expect me to believe that?“ Neil asks, "Especially when his girlfriend said that he’d always been worried about what you’d ask for in return, and that he called you the Devil.”

“I don’t lie,” Andrew says simply. “You can think whatever you want.”

“Why was he so worried if that was all it was?”

“He made a deal with the Devil,” Andrew says, “Tell me you wouldn’t be worried about that.”

14. Not Damsels, not Knights by my_unlikely_hero

93k | Mature

Neil is not a damsel, Andrew is not a knight, Riko is not a dragon. Nobody gets saved. Not really.

Or: Riko goes too far, and Neil is left in pieces.

15. The Continuing Adventures of the Nine-Nine by gluupor

48k | Gen | Series | Brooklyn 99!AU

A series of short, ridiculous, mostly plotless stories featuring the Foxes as the cops of the Ninety-Ninth Precinct.

16. Not Only You and Me by orphan_account (part of a series)

18k | Explicit | Porn!AU

Andrew, Neil and Kevin film Foxy’s first gay threesome porn scene.

Cue the feelings.

17. High School Science by fuzzballsheltipants

30k | Teen/Explicit (parts 1-3 are Teen and part 4 is Explicit) | Series

High School!AU

18. False Equivalence by sunrise_and_death

22k | Teen

Some part of her had known it would come back to Neil. He was the one who had cracked the twins the first time. Of anyone, he was the most likely to have a solution for this as well.

Although the events of the previous year resolved a lot of issues, Katelyn quickly discovers that not every problem has been addressed. As she attempts to map a future in which Aaron has both her and his family, she finds herself once again working with Neil Josten—to unexpected results.

19. trans andrew by aceaaronminyard, autisitcandrewminyard

30k | Explicit | trans!Andrew

a fanfic series for a tfc au where andrew minyard wasn’t registered into the system as andrew doe but as erin doe.

mostly set post-tkm. mostly porn.

20. Advice and Amusement by Autumnalhogwarts

11k | Teen

After a series of failed attempts to woo Renee, Allison turns to Andrew for help. As Renee’s best guy friend he’s in a unique position to offer advice. However, that doesn’t mean he’ll be willing to.

21. Kidnapped by Shell_Writes

21k | Explicit

Neil and Aaron get kidnapped by four deranged men while the team is on a camping trip. shit happens and they have to escape this horror house. together.

22. Return of Dad!Mack by SensationalSunburst

14k | Gen | Series

Dad!Wymack & Mom!Abby

23. For He’s A Jolly Good Felon by gluupor

4k | Teen | Felon!Neil

What’s a guy to do when he’s forced to go to his conservative, homophobic aunt and uncle’s for Thanksgiving dinner?

Why, invite along his ex-con, tattooed, argumentative roommate as his fake boyfriend, of course.

24. make my heart shake (bend and break) by WaifsandStrays

4k | Explicit

Aaron develops a fascination with Kevin’s dick, has a sexuality crisis and feelings and fails to process any of it.

25. Across the Water by transandrewminyard

13k | Teen | trans!Andreil

Perhaps several years too late, or maybe right on time, Neil Josten runs away from home and tries to dream a new life for himself. How poetic that his first night out on his own would deliver him to a stranger who seems to understand everything he’s been through, and then some?

26. Prompt: Andrew and Neil get to babysit Sophie by orphan_account

14k | Mature | part of a series

What it says on the tin, basically.

Aaron and Matt leave for a few days and ask Andrew and Neil to babysit Sophie. Baby-sized exy is involved. Also lots and lots of angst. But there is a happy ending!

27. Salt Bros and Roller Derby Vixens by moonix

14k | Teen | Series

Roller Derby!AU

28. Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by priorwalter

12k | Teen | Felon!Neil, Author!Andrew

“So,” Neil asks as he washes his paint-covered hands in the kitchen sink, “Christmas.”

Andrew glares and says nothing. This year, Neil and Andrew are spending Christmas with Andrew’s brother, Aaron Minyard. Aaron Minyard, Andrew’s twin whose existence was unknown to him until two months previous. Aaron Minyard, an orthopedic surgeon with a wife (an oncologist, naturally) and two daughters. Aaron Minyard, who grew up with a mother that chose him.

Andrew Doe has survived until age twenty-nine without any biological family, and his life turned out pretty good, considering all of the reasons it shouldn’t have. At age twenty-nine, Andrew’s book becomes a bestseller and leads his long-lost twin brother to him. Familial drama ensues.

#aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #andreil #aftg fic rec #fic rec

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birdlord · 5 years

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Every Book I Read in 2018

Again, better late than never??

01 On the Town; Marshall Berman - A freewheeling personal and general history of Times Square, which had some great historical tidbits I’d never read before. I think I would have got more out of it if I were interested in Broadway musicals...

02 Stephen Florida; Gabe Habash - A slim little book that follows a college wrestler. One of those books that is described as muscular, when what they mean is brutal.

03 Green Grass, Running Water; Thomas King - Four plot lines intertwine in a story blending mythology, creation, and modern First Nations people dealing with massive transformational change to their lands. I did sometimes feel like I would have enjoyed it more as an audio storytelling experience.

04 People who Eat Darkness: The Fate of Lucie Blackman; Richard Lloyd Parry - I don’t often read books like this, but this is essentially a true-crime sort of story, about the murder of a British woman who works as a bar hostess in Japan. Parry covers not just her story, but the whole aftermath, which even pulls in Tony Blair, eventually.

05 My Brother’s Husband; Gengoroh Tagame - Weirdly, two Japan-related books in a row! Another culture-clash tale, when the Canadian husband visits his deceased husband Ryoji’s single-parent brother. The couple had never been to Japan while Ryoji was alive, and so the story of slow acceptance (helped along by little Kana’s openhearted curiosity) is suffused with sadness.

06 Ghosts of the Tsunami: Life & Death in Japan’s Disaster Zone; Richard Lloyd Parry - And, let’s make it three! When the earthquake and tsunami hit Japan in 2011, I remember thinking that the reaction seemed so orderly, so...Japanese. But this examination puts you right in the various affected communities, following different people, including schoolchildren from Okawa primary. Like with the other Parry book above, we hear about all of the grief, ghosts and lawsuits that follow the disaster.

07 Mademoiselle: Coco Chanel and the Pulse of History; Rhonda K. Garelick - Once she became famous, Coco Chanel built a scaffolding of lies about her past, and the purpose of this biography is to attempt to see the truth behind them. Garelick concentrates heavily on Chanel’s collaboration with the Nazis, which must have been a challenge given that her company still exists, under her name.

08 Kubrick; Michael Herr - “They speak about the dumbing of America as a foregone thing, already completed, but, duh, it’s a process, and we haven’t seen anything yet. The contemplation of this culture isn’t for sissies, and speaking about it without becoming shrill is increasingly difficult, maybe impossible.” Whoa!

09 Call Me by Your Name; Andre Aciman - I did read this after seeing the film, so as usual it was hard to divorce it from the movie experience.

10 The Left Hand of Darkness; Ursula K LeGuin - A thought experiment about a genderless world, seen from the perspective of an off-planet envoy, who has a range of reactions to the world’s inhabitants. The most enduring section of the book involves a brutal 3-month expedition undertaken by the exiled envoy and a local, a trial by ice, wind and snow. A winter read.

11 Stamped from the Beginning; Ibram X. Kendi - I don’t think I’d really fully grokked the idea that southern white supremacy built itself in order to prevent an uprising of the black and white underclasses, together. The basic rubric of this book is separating American movements, parties and individuals’ thinking into one of three categories: assimilationist, segregationist or genuinely antiracist. Supporting results like abolitionism does NOT make one antiracist, since support could come those with less pure motivations. I highly recommend this one, though it was copy-edited in a pretty haphazard manner!

12 Witches, Midwives and Nurses: A History of Women Healers; Barbara Ehrenreich & Dierdre English - A short book charting a couple of parallel stories, of women healers in Europe being dismissed as witches, and the masculinization of medicine (particularly midwifery and the medicine of birth) in the USA.

13 Her Body and Other Parties; Carmen Maria Machado - Short stories skirting the edge of a lot of genres; horror, science fiction, dark comedy. These are women’s stories, that refuse to be dismissed as chick lit. It didn’t connect with me as deeply as it has for some, but I see the appeal.

14 Look Alive Out There; Sloane Crosley - Largely comedic set of essays by a writer whose earlier work I read, about a decade back. It’s a strange experience, to return to someone who has written memoir that seemed to exemplify that late-2000s era and discover that she - and you - have grown.

15 Homesick for Another World; Otessa Moshfegh - Moshfegh’s choice of words (not to mention her characters themselves) remain utterly revolting. I often found myself looking up, shaking my head as if to say THIS BOOK. Considerably funnier than Eileen, which was the first of hers that I read.

16 My Year of Rest & Relaxation; Otessa Moshfegh - After reading this, I found out that Moshfegh basically set out to get her work noticed by populating it with these vile young women. Well, it worked! Your tolerance for unlikeable main characters will be tested by this rich Columbia grad who decides to prescribe herself into a virtual coma within her NY apartment, at the turn of the millennium. And yes, it ends where you think it does.

17 They Can’t Kill us Until They Kill Us; Hanif Abdurraquabi - This collection of music-related writing is wildly far-ranging, poetic and emotional. For myself, I did find I was more interested in those that were related to bands or musicians I had some experience with myself , which was not always the case.

18 The Bad Food Bible: How and Why to Eat Sinfully; Aaron Carroll and Nina Teicholtz - If you’re a reader of the food media, most of what’s in here will be familiar to you, debunking fears of meat, GMOs, gluten, MSG. The authors keep their own experience, taste and interests very much in the forefront, which ends up feeling smug and irritating.

19 The Mere Wife: A Novel; Maria Dahvana Headley - My knowledge of Beowulf is scant at best, but this retelling stood very much on its own two feet, set in a tony suburb and comparing the experience of two very different mothers of two very different sons.

20 How to Write an Autobiographical Novel: Essays; Alexander Chee - I’m very much On The Record as being against writers writing about writing, but this might just be an exception.

21 Vancouver Special; Charles Demers - A sort of update on Douglas Coupland’s City of Glass, a book I loved and reread many times. This one has both a more historical bent, and an actual political viewpoint, contrasting with Coupland’s Gen X remoteness.

22 Crudo; Olivia Laing - A rushing frantic little novel, incorporating Trump tweets and Kathy Acker quotes throughout. A difficult read so close to the events described, but I can see this being an amazing window into this weird time, once a few years have passed.

23 Hits & Misses; Simon Rich - This might also be on the line of “writers writing about writing” but Rich manages to do so in a charmingly self-deprecating way.

24 2020 Commission Report on the North Korean Nuclear Attacks Against the US; Jeffrey Lewis - Speculative fiction written as a government report, responding, as we all have been doing, to the endlessly unprecedented Trump presidency. It all started with a tweet, of course...

25 A Paradise Built in Hell: The Extraordinary Communities that Arise in Disaster; Rebecca Solnit - This book is intended to counter the idea that disasters (“natural” and otherwise) lead people to indulge their worst sides. Solnit looks at the aftermath of some 20th C disasters like the Halifax Explosion, 9/11 and various earthquakes to find examples of people banding together to help the wounded and homeless, even taking the opportunity to create new institutions when authorities fail to do so. A tonic for a world in which disasters are likely to become increasingly common.

26 How Fascism Works: The Politics of Us and Them; Jason Stanley - When I lived in Scotland in 2010, I went to an anti-fascist rally in Edinburgh, and I remember feeling like those attitudes were closer to the surface over there, where at home in Canada they felt abstract. This book traces how fascist policies lurk within democratic frameworks, and can sometimes metastasize to take over the host. Suffice it to say I was probably wrong then, and I’m definitely wrong now.

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mysneakpeekblog-blog · 5 years

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youtube

With the existence of heroes’ portrayals and history drama in the Philippine Cinema, the 2015 biopic film ‘Heneral Luna’ offers another perspective for the Filipino film industry. The film tries to capture the eyes of the youth by picking it as its target market; and as a matter of fact, in cinemas nationwide there is an available discount for students. Fortunately, I am one of those students who were able to watch it on big screen. Undoubtingly, this film has so many to offer and I am truly moved by the film. It is indeed a game changer to the world of our cinema and allow me to tell you how and what I thought about the film.

The film is a detailed account of the life of one of our revolutionary heroes during the American period namely Gen. Antonio Luna. It tells a story which is a part of our history we care less, something that we don’t usually learn at school. The film opens by claiming that it is fiction based on facts which I think is one way of pulling more modern viewers. It is framed around a series of interviews granted by Luna to Joven Hernando played by Arron Villaflor, a fictional newspaper journalist. Threaded into the narrative, these lively conversations provide viewers with valuable insights into the general’s personality and assist greatly with the transitions as the viewers keep track of the story’s bulging inventory of characters and events. After 333 years of Spanish colonization, the Philippine archipelago was sold for $20 million to U.S. The dilemma is now to decide how to respond with the Americans arrival under the government leaded by President Emilio Aguinaldo played by Mon Confiado and Prime Minister Apolinario Mabini played by Epy Quizon together with the Gen. Antonio Luna played by John Arcilla, is it to negotiate or fight? Clearly, the film told us that Heneral Luna’s proposition which is to strengthen the military force and fight is different from the majority of the key players of the government who is driven by each personal’s interest who wanted to accept the Americans’ domination without a fight. With this altercations, Luna being portrayed as a fiercely straight-talking patriotic general who had a temper as passionate as his feelings to the country made his own enemies inside the congress. While they are discussing inside the congress, a messenger came with the news that the Americans shot the soldiers scouting Sta. Mesa district and also terrorizing other parts of the country as well. The president then gave his go signal to Gen. Luna to take action. However, more conflict arises between Luna and other major players of the country. First, Captain Pedro Janolino played by Ketchup Eusebio who is dragged outside the hut while sleeping with a naked woman and humiliated in front of his soldiers after refusing Luna’s orders. Under the war, the bureau individuals were all engaged into discussing about reconciling to America which flamed the anger of Luna commanding the arrests of the members of the congress, Felipe Buencamino played by Nonie Buencamino and Gen. Tomas Mascardo played by Lorenz Martinez. President Aguinaldo knew that the members are getting fed up of Luna’s attitude but then let it pass. After the battles with his co-Filipino, we are able to meet Heneral Luna as a leader, with his interactions with his men, a soldier as how he fights under war, a son as his mother Dońa Laureana Luna y Novicio do tell his past, a brother, a lover with his affair in the name of Isabel played by Mylene Dizon and as a man. Then goes the climax, General Luna was summoned by a telegram written under the name of the President asking him to appear in Cabanatuan. He was welcome by mere silence and a few soldiers. At the office he saw Felipe Buencamino who told him that the president left long before he arrived. Heneral Luna was ambushed, fired and stabbed to death. The film ends with the sides stories of other characters making the death of Luna left unanswered.

Creating a film with this kind of theme is something courageous because it is risky thing to delve the past since Philippine history had always been complicated. Personally, I am not into watching history-themed Filipino films because I feel like there will always be biases and sugarcoating techniques to produce a commercially made film with lots of profit. But Heneral Luna is an exception for me. The film was able to create a not hero type of protagonist but instead send us a message. From the protagonist’s line “Bayan o Sarili! Pumili ka?”, the movie gives us the story that the Filipinos main enemy were not Americans but themselves. It does not romanticize the character of Luna, the film showed that Luna’s rage sometimes is out of his control. As I watch the film, I could feel the anger and disappointment by Heneral Luna which I believe proves its efficiency to deliver its message. Undoubtingly, one could really point out the amazing performance of John Arcilla. The first time I saw the movie poster I am really excited to see how John Arcilla will portray his role because the poster is really intriguing and he really looks like Heneral Luna. He was able to bring to life the fierceness, fearlessness and devotion of Heneral Luna which looks really genuine. Though it was Arcilla who really stand up in the film, the supporting characters also deserved the praise which made the film more convincing. Heneral Luna’s supporting military men including Gen. Jose Alejandrino (Alvin Anson), Col. Francisco Roman (Joem Bascon), Capt. Jose Bernal (Alex Medina) and of Lt. Rusca (Archie Alemania) who deliver their roles commendably. On the opposite side of things, Ketchup Eusebio nails his portrayal of Capt. Pedro Janolino, who played as a young general with full hatred to Luna and one of those who led the killing of Luna. Mon Confiado and Epy Quizon also brings the best as Emilio Aguinaldo and Apolinario Mabini. It is amazing how these known comedians was able to engaged themselves into dramatic roles like that. Lastly, Mylene Dizon, a fictional representation under the name of Isabel, a Red Cross Worker was able to show her skills given the small screening time.

Heneral Luna is one of the most audacious film I have watched mixed with the perfect vision of its film makers. It is a kind of film that deserves the applause. From the beginning up to the end there is something to be praised and averse. The beginning of the film with those short subtitles written in English gives us a hint that they wanted to enter the film into international field. It also announced that it is fiction based on facts which gives more questions to the viewers. I love how the film unfolds every narration through the effective transitions and flashbacks. The cinematography and direction is also a thumbs up for me. The images had wonderful and innovative effects, colors and angles which is shown on the series of flashbacks especially during Rizal’s execution. I would also like to acknowledge the scriptwriters for creating such remarkable storyline with smooth pacing and rasping and poetic dialogues. It is notable how they consistently put together different layers of events to achieve a much engaging story. One thing to notice as well is how they were able to put into timing the comic and humorous factor of the film which became an integral part of the film as well. Also the beautifully written dialogues with cuss words doesn’t sound so corny as the characters mouthed it. Like the lines “Para kayong mga birhen na naniniwala sa pag-ibig ng isang puta,” “Hindi ako ang asawa mo kung hindi gera.” “Isinusuka ko ang digmaan pero ang kompirmiso magbubulag bulagaan ba tayo sa kalaban?” “Ingles inglesen mo ko sa bayan po punyeta!” and “Mas madali mo pang pagkasunduin ang langit at lupa kesa dalawang Pilipino sa alin mang bagay.” There are just scenes I found a little lame in the film, those were the screen times for American’s conversations because the characters were not the appealing for me. But overall it was still carried out because there were just few scenes. At the end of the film we could hint for a trilogy, there was an extra scene in the middle of the closing credits, suggesting a next film featuring Paulo Avelino as Gen. Gregorio del Pilar which has been showed this year. There was also a brief cameo appearance of Benjamin Alves as a young Manuel L. Quezon, hinting at a possible trilogy. This is a very exciting plan indeed which we all hope will materialize given the success of "Heneral Luna" and only international films like Marvel series only which adds another first time for the film.

I really admired the film at its finest. More than the things I mentioned above I like about the film, it taught us lessons to ponder. Ultimately, the portrayal of this tragedy has spurred so many emotions and so many questions. It does not only give life to history but it is telling us the present issues we have in our country. Today the Philippines is facing so many problems in our economy, education, politics and still too many to mention. I could say that the problems of the past were never resolved. Are we really independent? Are we really free from colonization? The film taught us that the Filipinos are the enemy of themselves, people driven by personal interest and those who can’t sacrifice for the betterment of his/her nation. Do you think this people don’t exist at the present? Or do you think they are the one leading this slow moving country? Leadership like what we discussed at University and I, comes with many styles and theories and therefore different to each person. In line with Heneral Luna, he’s kind of leadership maybe harsh because of being authoritarian but this is what the country needs during those times. We must always keep in mind that leadership never worked unless there is an exchange of the force of his followers. The main lesson we could adhere in the film is to keep ourselves inform with the issues of the country and do our job as its citizens. The revolution is still happening right now. Our current situation is no different from that what it had experienced during the era of the Philippine-American war and we should do our part like what our heroes did before. Ignorance should not be tolerated and let us do our part as leader or as a follower.

This kind of film is what Filipinos must and would want to see. Like what I mentioned earlier its target market are the youth and modern viewers. They even use social media as a way of promoting this film. However, as I watched the film this is a movie for all. I recommend every Filipino to watch the film because it is worth the time and money. If you wanted to watch something that is really substantial and entertaining well this is the movie you are looking for. Or if you are tired of Filipino cliché made film, try changing your genre and explore our unrated films and watch Heneral Luna. In wrapping up, I really liked the film. With a rating over ten, I will give a nine to it and it is truly recommended.

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elliot-orion · 5 years

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What the Fuck Even is IN the DHU?

Finally! The last part in this little “what the fuck” worldbuilding series! This is just going to be a quick refresh for everyone on all the lil and big stories in the DHU that i’ve got written/partly written/planned, as more of a masterpost than a real worldbuilding post. I’m not including absolutely everything bc there are plenty things that are just half baked ideas, so these are only the big ones with enough development to call a story really. If you want to catch up on the series, check here: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Let’s go!

Sparks Fly: The matriarch story of this whole disaster. 3 not so upstanding members of society fall in love and sort of save the world, idk, it’s chaotic. This is where Sparky, Hall, and Scout are from, which i throw in bc i talk about Sparky far too much. It’s a full sized novel, and i just finished Draft 3.

Sing For Me: #2 of the 3 full sized novels, as of writing this post of course. Villain falls in love with Hero, terribly angsty, the works. It’s kinda paused indefinitely bc of reasons and also it just kind of sucks and needs Lots Of WorkTM.

Oliver’s Story: #3 of the full sized novels. Currently untitled, but it’s about Oliver, the Time Elemental, and All His Shit bc the boy is a disaster. 95% about how shitty the SA is, 5% about how fucking cute Spencer and Oliver are about. Angsty as fuck.

The shorter stories/novellas/stories of undetermined length below cut!

All The Dead and Dying Things: a completed story about 20,000 ish words that featured on the briefly lived side blog i made for the DHU. It sucked but i loved the characters, so i might edit it up a bit and post it on WattPad at some point, probably won’t, its up in the air. It was about a Villain Mob Boss and his boy toy Hero who was betrayed by the SA when they found out he was dating Villain Mob Boss, with the side plot of a couple others in the gang (boy toy makes it sound bad sorry, they are grossly in love and cute as fuck).

Hell in High Heels: The other completed story that featured on that side blog before i shut the thing down. Sucked less than Dead and Dying, but wasn’t great. This one was about badass 1940s lesbians, and also about how shitty the SA is. It’s an ongoing theme. I took this down with the side blog, so you can’t read it right now, same with the above, but it might go on WattPad. This is more likely to go up than Dead and Dying.

Wildfire: Wildfire is the story that was going to go on the side blog after those two ran out, but i shut the blog down before this could go up. It’s about the Fire Elemental, Blaise (yea i know the name is cheesy, the SA gave it to him ok), and his struggles with the SA, bc half my stories are about that tbh. It was poetic as fuck and actually pretty well written? i loved writing it so much. It’s never been shared, and i’ve never really talked about it either, but it’s finished and everything so there’s that. This one likely will go on WattPad at some point in time.

Morty Heart: Now we move onto the more tentatively planned stories in the DHU. Morty Heart is the Death Elemental, and i’ve got like 3 plot lines/stories proposed for him but have not decided which i will actually do and when i shall do them. But he’s cool.

Lily Pad Inn: This is a story ive been trying and failing to write for like, a year, but there is absolutely no plot involved, it is just a Soft Thing, so it’s not going anywhere. Basically there is this absolute sunshine boy named Matty, who isn’t a Super, but who creates an inn that is a haven for Villains to find peace and a family for a while. He’s an ICON and i love him and his family.

There are also vague “we should do that at some point” ideas, like a coffee shop au story that was meant to show civilian Super’s lives, but also others with Baz, the Sparks Fly triad’s son, and another with Winry and Anna Grace, two kiddos in the Dead and Dying story. Basically, Gen 2 of the DHU. And various short stories/one shots, like one for Poison and Sparky when he was young. Those won’t happen for a VERY long time though.

But, uh... now you know why when i talk about this world i say it is MASSIVE AS FUCK, bc this isnt even close to the comprehensive list of all the ideas ive had for this world. Looking at my notes, there are at least 9 half ideas i haven’t brought up, that range from a one shot to having the possibility of being a full novel. So yea.

If you have any questions about any of these stories, feel free to ask them! all the ones listed here i have a ton of info on and would love to infodump!! Also if there is more stuff you want to know about the DHU, i can extend this series if needed. But that’s all for now folks!

@albatris @ageekyreader @dreamcontagion @ashesconstellation @merigreenleaf @piscesintherain @norawritess @knightedwriter @shadow-maker @samplewriting A SIDE NOTE: More Hell than Hero does NOT actually take place in the DHU. It is an extremely similar universe and i was really a dumbass for not putting it in the DHU, and like, if i work on that again it will be shifted into the DHU, but as of now, it isn’t actually a part of this so it isn’t listed. :p

#the only reason it wasnt in the DHU was because i didnt want to work in the explanations of the dark heart #and just wanted superheroes to go unquestioned like in other things #so yea #im a dumbass #worldbuilding #dark heart universe #dhu #sparks fly #morty heart #sing for me #lily pad inn

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robininthelabyrinth · 6 years

Text

Fic: Nocturne (11/30) - Ao3 Link

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV Pairings: Mostly Gen (variety later to come)

Summary: In which Cor Leonis loses his temper, accidentally acquires a kid, and tries to single-handedly dismantle the Lucian immigration system – and that’s before he and his lawyers find out about this Prophecy business. If the Astrals think Cor’s going to let his kid’s best friend die without a fight, they’ve gotten the wrong cheetah ‘taur.

(a young adult novel set in @kickingshoes’ ‘taur AU)

—————————————————————————————— ——————————————————————————————

Galadh is just as Clarus remembers it: a positive riot of color and sound.

Each house is painted in startlingly bright tones with different colors for the windows and doors and sometimes - often, really - having twisty, almost flowery designs painted as further decor, and buskers and street-sellers line virtually every street to sing out their wares or play an instrument. Even the people follow the same theme: with the exception of those in black mourning, the clothing they wear is bright and cheerful and noisy, their hair worn long and woven through with beads and feathers and braids. Even the Hunters here find that greens and yellows work better to blend with the wild jungles deeper in the islands than the dark browns and blacks preferred on the mainland.

And there are birds everywhere.

Colorful birds, loud birds, talking birds, birds perched on rooftops and on trees growing in the center of the sidewalk and on parked cars and bikes and even some birds sitting casually on people's heads as they sit at the cafés, speaking as much with their gestures as with their words.

And that's not to mention the monkeys. Just casually there, sitting on garbage cans and chowing down the way raccoons or squirrels do on the mainland, or at least did before the Starscourge started to reduce their numbers and turn them into mutated creatures out of nightmare.

Ah, Galadh. Nowhere quite like it, in Clarus’ view.

Interestingly, despite Galahd's long history as undisputed Lucian territory, the population here tends towards canidaetaur rather than felidaetaur, with inlanders generally being woodland creatures, like wolves and foxes, while beachsiders are often creatures that enjoy water, like bears and beavers and jaguars - though of course the population here, like everywhere else in Lucis, is growing increasingly mixed and diverse over time.

And, of course, let Clarus not forget to mention the food – the heavy scent of spice in the air, peppers and chilis and other mysterious spices that are hot enough to burn even people from Leide, who pride themselves on their spicy peppers, right alongside the stalls filled to the brim with freshly-caught fish or unusual fruit brought down from the jungles.

Clarus must admit that he enjoys Galahd's determined fondness of food and their resulting appreciation for heavier figures. He knows the tendency probably stems from the famines that still sporadically strike the islands whenever more severe hurricanes than the usual yearly fare batter them, but – as a tiger with, shall we say, not as much time to exercise as much as he probably should – he still appreciates it.

Oh, yes, and there’s the hurricanes.

Can't forget those.

That is, of course, the part of Galadh that Clarus doesn’t like, particularly as midsummer marks the onset of the rainy season, or more accurately the rain-and-storm season: Leviathan’s blessing, Ramuh’s curse, as the islanders liked to joke.

Galadh, wild child of the sea and storm.

Poetic, really.

At least their passage here was pretty quiet, thanks be to Leviathan – the Tidemother is generally blissfully calm for the period right around midsummer, her favorite day of the year – and they arrive without any large fanfare, just as planned.

The poor Harbormaster who came to collect their papers had something of a bad moment when he saw his King and Queen holding the paperwork with polite smiles that only barely covered how amusing they found this whole situation. It was rather funny, but, more importantly, it allowed them to disembark with remarkable swiftness and without all the ridiculous pomp that usually accompanies pre-announced royal visits - speeches and surprise presentations by local choirs and bands and whatnot. Always extremely charming, always extremely irritating to a traveler who just came rather a long way and just wants to take a nap.

Of course, no matter how quickly they managed their arrival, there still managed to be just enough time for Regis to be swamped by the (very surprised) local Galahdian politicos, but Regis is an old hand at these sort of events: he and Aulea are very effectively glad-handing them with the goal of putting them off their scent and reassuring them that there's no reason to be concerned. By all rights, Clarus ought to be helping with that, but instead he’s with Scientia, watching the children run around acquainting themselves with the harbor town – something he prefers by far.

The children, at least, are having a positive blast.

They're all keeping quite busy – Gladio looking through the stalls selling bright clothing and beads and jewelry made of shells, Ignis staring enraptured as one of the street vendors efficiently butchers and then sizzles up a giant shrimp in a medley of spices, Noctis and Prompto leaping over each other and rolling around in the sand of the beach...even Luna seems to have escaped her usual reticence, looking around her with a broad smile.

"Hey, pretty lady!" a local girl around Luna's age, holding a basket of brightly colored flowers with more flowers woven into her hair like a crown, calls out to her. "Buy a flower for your hair?"

Luna turns to look. "Oh, they're lovely!" she exclaims, clapping her hands together and trotting over to look closer.

The local girl – a maned fox 'taur, if Clarus is getting his more obscure species right – gapes at her. "Oh, wow," she says. "You've got the daintiest hooves I've ever seen."

Luna blushes.

Clarus is reminded, suddenly, of the first time Luna met Cindy, back in Hammerhead – her eyes going as wide as saucers and her cheeks going pink as the normally precociously self-possessed girl stuttered over a basic introduction – and he smiles. A pity, really, that the Glaciad is so far away at the tail end of winter – it looks like Luna will have her hands full of people she might want to ask to join her for that romantic festival's traditional joint cup of hot cocoa.

"Thank you," Luna is saying. "I love your legs, too – they're so long and graceful –"

"Oh, you don't have to say that –"

"No, really!"

Now both girls are blushing. Clarus pretends to inspect a vase, enjoying the little childhood romance unfolding in front of him – it's like something out of A Springtime's Stroll, the paperback romance novel he's currently reading. Cyrella thinks he's ridiculous for enjoying them, but Gladio certainly enjoys them as well when Clarus reads them aloud to him – he’s currently very invested in the resolution of the ongoing love quadrangle...

"Would you like a flower, then?" the girl blurts out, clearly desperate to get back onto some sort of even footing. "For your hair?"

"Oh, yes, I'd love one," and here Luna falters and glances down at the ground, "but I’m afraid I don't know how to put them in my hair."

"Oh," the local girl says. "Well – if you like – I can show you..?"

Oh, smooth, smooth! Clarus thinks admiringly. Well done, Luna!

(He is particularly amused by the idea that Lady Lunafreya, born amongst the beautiful blue sylleblossoms of Tenebrae, might find anything to do with flowers difficult.)

"I couldn't possibly bother you while you're at work –"

"No, no, I was just about to go out on break – my name's Crowe, by the way –"

"And I'm Luna. Do you mind if we go to the shade somewhere? It's only that I'm not used to it being so bright – it's my first visit to Galadh –"

"No wonder, what with you being so pale. Sure, come with me – you know, if this is your first visit here, I could show you to a nice ice cream parlor – the best one on the islands - my parents run it, it's just down the block –"

Luna glances briefly at Clarus, who nods his approval. "If it's just down the block, I don't see the issue. Keep your phone on," he advises. "I'll tell Scientia."

The two girls beam and run off.

Clarus is barely able to restrain himself from laughing at how efficiently Luna secured herself a date, even though he suspects that neither girl is entirely certain of what it is – after all, Crowe can't be much older than twelve to Luna's eleven. Ah, kitten love! Or puppy love, in little Crowe's case, and fawn love, in Luna's.

Oh, he wishes that Cyrella was here for him to share the joke! If only that damn doctor hadn't absolutely forbidden her from sea travel...

Ah, well.

He goes over to Scientia, who has her nose buried in a book that's half the size of his torso. "Luna –" he starts.

"Has run off with that Crowe girl to the ice cream shop, yes, I overheard," Scientia says, not looking up from her book. "They'll be back shortly – I saw it as we passed earlier; there's no room in there for them to sit. We should plan our next steps after that."

"Technically, the Hydread isn't until tomorrow, on midsummer itself; it’s only the Eve," Clarus offers. Luckily, he's already gotten used to the way Scientia's mind is already five steps ahead of everyone else's – he's learned to take it as a compliment that she doesn’t feel the need to explain herself to him. When she's in court, or dealing with people she thinks are slow, she suddenly becomes remarkably clear and straightforward and just a touch judgmental. It's a bit frightening, not least of all because Ignis does the same thing – and Clarus suspects that Gladio and the other boys are starting to pick up on it. They’re going to be terrors, each and every one of them. "We could spend the day doing tourist things, instead."

"What a marvelous idea," Regis says, limping up towards Clarus – no worse than usual, Clarus is pleased to note. He's managed to lose his Galahdian escort, probably by fobbing them off by promising to go to some fancy dinner later, and leaving it in their hands to prepare something suitable to his rank. "I don't think I've ever gone tourist-ing. What's there to do?"

"There are several famous landmarks," Scientia says dryly.

"No, thanks," Aulea says, following Regis closely. "Those we'll see by necessity when they want Regis – or I – or Noctis – to appear at all of them to wave at the local populace."

"Probably true," Clarus agrees ruefully. The price of being royalty...

"We could go to the beach and sun ourselves," Cor suggests. He looks rather fond of the idea. He would be, the overgrown kitten.

"Beach!" Noctis shouts. "We want beach!"

"Yeah! Beach!" Prompto joins in.

"No, thank you," Ignis says, wrinkling his nose fastidiously. "I don't want sand in my fur, thanks."

"The sand's somewhat inevitable everywhere you go in the beachside," the girl from earlier, Crowe, says. She and Luna have indeed returned, holding ice creams in one hand and holding each other's hands with the other.

Clarus is going to die of cuteness overload, he just knows it.

"Sorry, kid," she says apologetically to Ignis. She clearly hasn’t recognized any of them, which clearly pleases Regus immensely. It won’t last, of course, but it is nice to go a little incognito for a change, and Regis is clearly relishing every moment of it. “It really does get everywhere.”

"Is there anywhere we can go that won't have sand, then?" Ignis asks with a sigh. "I assume going inland would be too burdensome..?"

"Sadly, yes," Aulea says. "We need to be here tomorrow for the Hydread ceremony. Besides, I rather like the sound of sand."

"Well, there's always the caves," Crowe offers hesitantly, Luna squeezing her hand supportively.

"The caves?" Regis asks.

"Oh, they're lovely," Crowe says effusively. "They're technically inland, but they're right by the waterside, not far at all. No one ever goes to them in the summer, since they're lots prettier in the winter, but you can't come to Galahd and not see the Caves of Wind and Wave."

"Are those the ones with the cave paintings?" Scientia asks, even putting down her book – a major achievement. "I've heard good things."

"That's where the old ceremonies to raise Leviathan used to be held," Luna murmurs, leading the adults to glance at each other meaningfully.

"I could do caves," Gladio says, glancing at Ignis. "Caves are cool. They're spooky."

"I don't want to do spooky, though," Noctis pouts. "I want to go to the beach."

"Well, how about we split up?" Regis offers, smiling. Clarus likes the look on him: he looks years younger, and lighter. He's needed a vacation for far too long. This isn't a real vacation of course – they're here for the Covenant with Leviathan – but it's just close enough to one for it to already have good effects. "I'm rather interested in these caves myself – Aulea, Cor, why don't you take Noctis and Prompto to the beach, while the rest of us go look at these caves?"

"Really, no one goes in the summer," Crowe says hastily, clearly embarrassed now that they're taking her up on her suggestion. "The tides are high, you know – you can't really get the full impact of it –"

"The paintings are still supposed to be visible, even in the summer," Scientia says crisply. "We'll take our chances, I think. Will you show us the way to go?"

People do not generally say no when Scientia asks something of them. Crowe does not do so now.

Clarus arches an eyebrow at Regis. He knows his old friend well enough: this little splitting up isn't really about preferring the caves to the beach. It's about Luna's statement – that this might be where they need to go for the Covenant – and the fact that Regis wants to check it out first before letting Noctis anywhere near.

Regis smiles back, utterly unashamed of being seen through.

"Fine," Cor says. "You take three-fourths of the guard."

"What? No. Half, at most. Someone needs to watch over Noctis."

"Two-thirds. I’m watching over Noctis."

"Fine."

"Guard?" Crowe echoes with a frown.

"Don't worry about it," Luna says with a bright smile. "Can you show us the way?"

"Sure," Crowe says, smiling helplessly back, utterly distracted. "Come with me."

"Have fun at your beach," Clarus tells Cor with a grin. Cor rolls his eyes back.

Cor and Aulea head off towards the beach with Noctis and Prompto, while Regis, Clarus, and Scientia take Gladio and Ignis and follow Crowe, with Luna in tow close beside her, on a much less crowded trail inland. Their Crownsguard escort drifts along with them, quiet and unobtrusive.

It's a pleasant walk – somewhat steep, but nothing they can't handle, especially at the slow strolling pace they've adopted – for the first half-hour.

Then they discover that the main road to the caves is apparently closed for repair.

"Damn," Regis says mildly, frowning at the roadblock with its large and very unhelpful sign. "Guess we'll have to go back."

"Nah," Crowe says dismissively. "We can go in the other end, if you don't mind walking single file."

"We don't," Scientia says. "Other end?"

"Yeah," Crowe says. "It's not really an official entrance, but all the local kids go through that way. Cuts down on the line. And you end up on the Oracle's platform, the ancient one, which is pretty cool."

Clarus frowns. He's not sure this is a good idea –

"Excellent," Regis says. "Let's go."

Clarus sighs faintly. The vacation business is clearly going to Regis' head.

Still, Crowe is starting to stride down a much smaller dirt path and Regis is following, not to mention Ignis leaping along the rocky road like – well, like an excited goat kid. So there's clearly no choice but to go onwards.

It's another half-hour, this time padding along increasingly small and shabby roads before they get to the cave entrance. Still, that's more due to their slow pace – Gladio and Ignis keep dashing off to look at flowers or plants or even small animals – than the distance, even if the last portion of the descent towards the cave is, in fact, such a narrow path that going down single-file is the only way to proceed.

Crowe seems to have belatedly realized that she's guiding around some moderately important people (it was probably the Crownsguard's presence becoming increasingly less subtle as they left town and trees behind and forcing them to go out in the open despite their best attempts to remain subtle) and has been spending the last few minutes attempting to downplay the loveliness of the caves she spent the first half of the trip boasting about.

"– really, it's summer, so you won't get the full effect, like I said," she's saying, somewhat desperately. "The light's all wrong, you know, and the water level's pretty high, so you don't really get a sense of scale – there's a reason people don't ever come here in the summer –"

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Luna says, not for the first time.

"I mean, the cave paintings, they're there, sure, but we're coming in at the weird end, you know, since the other road broke down, so I don't know exactly how many we'll be able to see –"

"I'm sure it will be fine," Scientia says sternly.

Crowe shuts her mouth with a small peep.

Clarus and Regis share amused looks. It's rather nice not being the intimidating one of the group, for once.

Unfortunately, Crowe's nervousness is such that even Scientia's implacable force of will can only stop her for a while. "It's just that I wanted to say it up front," she murmurs as she pushes aside the vines growing on the cave wall to reveal a battered old door so well hidden that even the Crownsguard that preceded her couldn't find it, and stepping straight though before they could stop her and insist that they go first, "so that you won't be disappointed when...wait, hold up, what in Leviathan's name is –?"

Clarus, who slipped in second – he's the King's Shield, he doesn't need a Crownsguard escort to go gawk at some cave walls – puts his hand firmly over Crowe's mouth.

"Say nothing," he murmurs into her ear, his eyes fixed at the sight over her shoulder, even as the rest of their party filters in through the door.

The caves are lovely – as huge as promised, with the famous blue-and-green sheen – but Clarus has no time for that.

The caves which no one visits during the summer, the caves with the main road to them marked as being under repair –

The caves are not empty.

"What is that?" Scientia asks, keeping her voice as low as possible. She's picked up Ignis and covered his mouth with her hand; Gladio stands by her side, looking with increasing alarm at the grave-faced adults around him, but luckily he's had enough training to know that it’s time to go quiet.

"That," Regis says grimly, his voice low, "is a Niflheim airship."

"No," Clarus corrects quietly, looking at the gigantic ships wrought in black metal, with glowing red windows – it's not one ship; it's two, no, three massive airships, each one of them a fleet ship capable of holding multiple attack ships filled with MT soldiers or the carrier ships which Niflheim traditionally fills with daemons to help terrify the local populace after the initial conquest, and next to those behemoth ships there are also a number of smaller sea-ships equipped with tows designed to pull the airships into and out of the caves. "That is an invasion force."

Crowe starts struggling in shock for a moment, but then it fades and Clarus feels comfortable releasing her. "Invasion," she whispers, pasty-faced with terror. "Of Galahd? But..."

She trails off.

Clarus knows what she meant to say. Galahd's long history as undisputed Lucian territory is primarily for two reasons: one, sea-averse Niflheim wasn't particularly interested in a territory that dealt with yearly hurricanes that ranged unpredictably from 'problematic' to 'devastating', and two –

Two, whether they came by air or by sea, the isolated Galahd would see them coming.

But that didn't apply if they were already here.

They must have started smuggling the ships here piece-by-piece the very second the tourist season ended and built them up in Galadh itself.

"What are the forces available on Galahd?" Regis asks, quietly but forcefully – the relaxed father on vacation gone and replaced by the King of Lucis. The ring on his finger is glowing faintly, only noticeable because of the gloomy darkness of the caves.

"Not enough, your Majesty," Clarus answers, knowing what Regis really wants to know. "Not to resist a force of this size. The Galahd Coast Guard is formidable, but it will be utterly overwhelmed. We could call up reinforcements from Insomnia Port, but their warships will take hours to equip, and then more to get here – particularly since they'll need to keep some back to protect the Port itself."

"Still, a few hours will surely be enough –" Scientia starts.

Clarus cuts her off with a firm shake of his head. "They were probably originally planning on attacking during the notoriously calm weather of the Hydread tomorrow," he says, his sharp eyes fixed on a platform on one of the airships furthest away from them and closest to the supposedly "closed" main road to the caves. He recognizes one of the figures there, one of the Burgomasters of the port town in which they landed. He was part of the party greeting Regis and Aulea with vaguely panicked expressions earlier, except evidently his panic wasn't because he need to find a way to host the royal family in a suitable manner. "It would've been a massacre, all those people unarmed and celebrating, Insomnia Port all cluttered up with the paper ships for the holiday and slow to respond...if they kept to that original schedule, we’d be able to summon help in time.”

“You don’t think they will?”

“No. They weren't expecting the King of Lucis to arrive with a squadron of Crownsguard, and it's thrown off all their plans, since they don’t know why we came. Regardless, the reason doesn’t really matter: whether we’ve come to try to fight back against them, or whether it’s an accident that gives them an opportunity to strike at the royal family and shatter Lucian morale, they know they need to move quickly, before back-up arrives. They'll be attacking now, instead."

Even as he watches, the first of the great airships creakily begins to cast off, the ropes and chains holding it in place by the dock starting to fall loose, one by one.

"My parents –" Crowe croaks.

"Scientia," Regis says, taking control. There's that tone in his voice, the one that draws the eye irresistibly towards him - that deep, almost-growl that precedes the roar of the lion. There can be no doubt in anyone's mind, now, that the King of Lucis is speaking. "I need you to take the children back up the path as quickly and quietly as possible. When you get back to an area with cell service, immediately inform my wife and Cor of what is happening, then alert Insomnia Port. The local town must be evacuated at once, with their Coast Guard and every able-bodied member of the militia – or who's willing to try to fight – told to expect invasion. The Crownsguard will go with you to assist with preparations."

He turns to Crowe. "Do not despair. This is Galahd, and you, its children, are born of the sea and storm," he says to her, and her back goes straight, her head lifting higher under his regard. "You will not fall so easily before Niflheim's might, and I swear to you that Lucis will not stand aside and let it happen. Are your people trained in civilian evacuations?"

"Oh, yes," Crowe says eagerly. "We're all trained – but the alarm is only meant to go off in the event of an unexpected tsunami –"

"You will go at once to activate that alarm," he says. "You may do so on my authority. Know that Insomnia Port will send what reinforcements it can as soon as it can."

"Will – do you think we’ll be able to hold them off, your Majesty?" she asks.

He puts his hand on her shoulder and looks her in the eye. "We will fight to defend your country," Regis Lucis Caelum vows, and no one who looked at him would doubt that he meant it with every fiber of his being. "Whatever we can do to ensure that Galahd does not fall, we will do. But even should it fall in the end, know that Niflheim will pay for the privilege in a river of blood."

Crowe's eyes are shining. If she survives, Clarus would wager that Cor will have another new recruit for the Crownsguard in a handful of years. She nods and goes without another word.

Scientia lingers a moment longer after Crowe has left running at full speed. "Your Majesty," she says.

Regis looks at her.

"There is – another thing," she says, uncharacteristically hesitant. "That we could do. Perhaps. To make the odds a little less – overwhelming."

"At this point, all suggestions are very welcome," Clarus says wryly. "We're facing a force that's likely four times the size of the existing military power on this island, assuming Niflheim hasn't changed their typical approach to invasion. Every little bit might help."

"More than a little bit," Scientia says, and her habitual impassive calm has settled over her once more – her hesitation before was merely uncertainty as to the extent of their need, Clarus realizes, and now that he has confirmed the direness of the situation, she has put aside all doubt. "Let me remind you that we stand now at the Oracle's platform, where once, long ago, they called upon the sleeping Leviathan."

They all stare at her, Clarus and Regis and even the head of the Crownsguard escorting them, a sturdy 'taur named Riyad. Her meaning is quite clear.

Scientia turns to Luna, who has very nearly been her adopted daughter this last year and who she loves dearly, and yet her voice is calm and certain when she asks, "Can you do it?"

Luna swallows, and nods. "If I had the Trident –"

"The royal Armiger," Clarus says, looking at Regis. "It's only a shadow of the real Trident, of course; the real one is in Sylvia's care, but it might do the trick regardless. And if Leviathan rises –"

"Then the raging sea will come with her," Regis finishes. The Tidemother rather famously does not enjoy having her slumber disturbed. "I see the mission I sent Crowe on was more accurate than I realized - there may indeed yet be a tsunami here today."

Luna stands up straight – only eleven years old, dressed in a white frock selected more to be appropriate for the beach than for formal ceremonies, but with steel in her eyes. Sylvia's steel, but Scientia's, too. "I will do it," she says. Her voice brooks no disagreement – not any of theirs, nor even of Leviathan herself. "With or without the true Trident. I will summon Leviathan."

"You will, and you will do it well," Scientia says, and Luna's back, somehow, goes even straighter with pride. "Two instructions: do not die, and return safely to us when you are done. Come along, Ignis, Gladio."

"But –" Gladio starts to protest, looking at Clarus. "Dad –"

"I need you to go, Gladio," Clarus says firmly, fixing the image of his son in his mind. He prays this will not be the last time they see each other alive, but he knows all too well the risks of war. He’s always known. "I am needed here, to guard my King and Luna, but I need you to go to the town to help with the evacuation, to help save lives. You are an Amicitia, my son: a Shield. This is what we do. Go now."

Gladio's lower lip is trembling, but he nods firmly. This time, when Scientia begins to move, he goes with her without complaint.

Clarus watches them until they disappear up along the face of the cliff, then turns back to his King – and his Oracle.

"Let us begin," Regis says, and summons the Armiger.

Cor ends the call on his cell phone.

Aulea, standing beside him and listening to Scientia's report from the second he realized what it was, looks grim. "What do we do now?" she asks, her eyes fixed on the surf where Noctis and Prompto are still leaping over each other, splashing and rolling in the wet sand like the excitable kittens (well, kitten and puppy) that they've barely outgrown being.

"Scientia reports that Crowe has gone up ahead, so the evacuation alarm should sound any minute now," Cor says. "Everyone will go inland, I assume; we'll join them. Once I see you and the children are safe, I will go help with the resistance efforts."

"There's nothing else..?"

"The priority is keeping Noctis and Prompto safe," Cor says firmly. He knows he should add that Noctis' safety is especially important now, given the Prophecy, but he can't bring himself to do so – it's true, of course, but he can't voice anything that would suggest that if Aulea finds herself in a terrible position of being only able to rescue one child, she ought to pick her own, the Chosen King, future savior of the world, instead of...

Instead of his own.

Aulea puts a hand on his shoulder. She understands, without words, what he means. "I will look after them both," she promises, grabbing her bag and tossing him the sword he brought, because he always has at least one sword even for supposedly innocent trips to the beach. And to think Clarus was teasing him for being paranoid! “Remember, should the worst come to worst, I can in times of dire need call on Regis' shadow Armiger, too, and I'm pretty handy with that bow."

"You always were the cleverest," Cor tells her, but he's unable to laugh at his own joke, so it comes out sincere. "Come on, let's get them."

Neither Noctis nor Prompto particularly wants to stop playing, but one look at the faces of their guardians puts an end to their complaints.

The alarm begins to ring.

Alarms, plural, would be more accurate – blaring sounds start coming from all directions, and flags colored red suddenly unfurling from the tops of all the highest buildings.

"Tsunami!" someone shouts.

"On the Hydread?" someone else exclaims disbelievingly.

But, disbelief of no disbelief, they all start moving inland. The people of Galahd do not play games with the sea, Cor is pleased to see.

The noise of all the beachgoers abandoning their bags and towels and picnic baskets and trudging up towards the town, and the safer high ground of the inland beyond, is very nearly deafening, but Cor's ears have been trained since childhood to hear and identify sounds even through the roar of the battlefield. That talent has saved his life more than once.

He identifies such a sound now.

"Aulea, stop," he orders, and she does, clutching both children's hands in hers and pulling them in closer as Cor draws his sword, turning just in time to deflect the dagger thrown at their backs.

They look like regular Galahdians, out for a day on the beach – loose clothing, one of them even shirtless – but they move like soldiers, and there are weapons in their hands, pulled out of baskets and sun-umbrella poles.

Niflheim trained, Cor determines, even as he darts forward to attack those nearest to him. If Scientia's report of Clarus' prediction of an attack expected tomorrow is right, and he has no reason to doubt it, these people would have been mingling with the crowd for days to ensure that they looked familiar to the others, safe, and then they would call out for people to follow them, and people would have done so – and only once they had led them somewhere out of sight would the swords and the guns come out –

They're good, these infiltrators. They have to be to do their jobs – to go alone into enemy territory to murder panicked and unarmed civilians who might try to fight back is not a job for the weak or the untrained – but, at the same time, they're infiltrators. They're disposable; they have to be, to be sent ahead into such danger.

They're not that good.

Cor kills the first three before they've taken another step, and the next two after that before they've even fully finished drawing their weapons.

But there are more still coming.

Many more.

Cor lifts his sword in a ready stance, his mind calm and clear. Niflheim’s forces have identified them, then; this many infiltrators all blowing their covers, all at once, can mean nothing else. They have been given new orders – to get these particular targets – that supersede all others.

Good.

That means none of them will be left to murder innocent civilians in the retreat.

Aulea has put Noctis and Prompto behind her, producing a gun from her beach-bag.

Cor’s trained on sand before, and he doesn’t let the uncertain surface slow him down, even as the ‘taurs rushing him trip and fall as they try to pounce. He ducks and darts between them, rearing back on his hind legs to rip at their bodies with his forelegs while he strikes at them with the sword in his hands. The daggers he rips free from their hands he throws back at the ones with guns, and he can hear Aulea start firing at them as well.

The crowd has started to run away from them now, leaving them alone on the beach – his Crownsguard are here, Basiana and Serio and Maero and Tristus and a bare handful more, and on his orders they form a protective ring around Aulea and the children – but the infiltrators are doing a good job separating them from the crowd.

And the sea has started churning.

“Leviathan is rising!” Aulea shouts, jerking her head towards the sea – it very effectively distracts the ‘taur Cor is fighting now, and Cor uses the opportunity to strike him down before glancing at the ocean.

The waves are coming hard now, large and choppy and frothing white at the tops as if a hurricane is approaching, and yet Cor is standing on the beach: there is no wind to explain the winds, and only a scattering of clouds in the sky.

Leviathan is, indeed, rising.

“MTs!” Maero bellows. “From above!”

Not good. Cor leaps ahead, cutting down two more infiltrators – he’s gotten most of them, now – but he sees what Maero saw: a drop ship, buzzing in from above. It’s been sent ahead from the fleet ship Scientia had reported seeing undock itself, no doubt in response to the infiltrators’ report that the Queen and Prince appeared to be (relatively) unprotected.

Cor glances towards to the town. The nearest Galahdian Coast Guard outpost – a lone station – has seen the oncoming threat, and the poor lone ‘taur that was manning it is screaming on his radios, shouting out orders and gesturing towards their little group, but back-up will clearly be some time in coming.

He gestures to Basiana and Serio – stay back, watch them – gestures for Maero and Tristus to back him, and he charges straight into the MTs as they land on the sand.

This is much harder – the infiltrators were more agile on the sand, having been trained for it, but the MTs are wearing full armor, and their unnaturally jerky movements sometimes make them harder to predict than standard fighters.

Niflheim MTs, soulless robots with armored metallic bodies shaped like a standard hound ‘taur, like machines but with the intelligence and reaction times of regular ‘taurs behind those empty glowing red eyes – Cor knows, from the information that he obtained from Justina’s laboratory, the monstrous way in which they are made, but it doesn’t matter to him now. It can’t matter now.

Now, all that matters is the fighting.

Cor has always known that one day he would come across a battle he would lose, and this one isn’t looking great. But he will not let them have Prompto or Noctis, even if it costs him his own life.

One MT – a gigantic axe-wielder – manages to get him with a nasty backhanded swing, forgoing the sharp side of the axe in favor of just walloping Cor on the side of the head, knocking him off his paws, but just as he’s lifting the axe to bring the sharp end down at Cor – Cor struggling to lift his sword in an attempt to at least deflect the blow –

The MT’s head gets blown off with a massive blast.

That’s not Aulea – she only has a pea-shooter, really – and none of his Crownsguard have a gun that powerful.

The Coast Guard...?

No.

There are ‘taurs charging out of the water, guns in their hands – two otters, a capybara holding the rifle that probably saved Cor's life, and even a frankly massive hippopotamus ‘taur dual wielding two-handed bastard swords, one in each hand. They’re not dressed like Coast Guard – in fact, Cor’s never seen the slick wet fabric they’re wearing before, something like waterproof neoprene that shimmers wet in the light.

“Queen Mother!” the capybara ‘taur calls out. “Bring the Chosen King here; we can keep him safe!”

Aulea starts, badly, and one of her shots goes wide.

Cor understands her concern – no one should know that Noctis is the Chosen King of Prophecy, because they haven’t told anyone – but he can see more drop ships in the distance, the gigantic fleet ship not far behind, and he doesn’t think they have a choice about who to trust right now.

He gestures to his Crownsguard – keep formation and advance – and calls to her, “Bring the children, Aulea! Quickly!”

She nods, putting her gun away, and snatches up both crying children from where they were hiding behind her.

They’re only six.

Cor’s eyes narrow in a burst of fury, and he takes advantage of the MTs trying to cope with this unexpected threat from an unexpected angle to throw a lightning bomb at them. He’s standing close enough to it that his fur goes on end, but the vast majority of them go down all at once, and between him, his Crownsguard and the otters from the sea, they’re able to kill the rest of them quickly.

“Quickly,” one of the otters says, glancing back at the ocean with concern. “The bubble won’t last that long at the surface.”

Cor doesn’t understand, but he runs towards the ocean, his Crownsguard at his heels, because Aulea is nearly there, coming up to the hippopotamus.

“Into the surf,” the hippopotamus ‘taur is bellowing. She’s a massive woman, with deep black skin and tight corkscrew curls that are already defying gravity despite the thrashing waves of water all around them. “Now!”

They follow her into the raging tide.

Prompto is crying, Cor can hear him, crying and howling; Noctis is wailing, a high hollow shriek; Aulea is shouting, desperate for answers; the waves are crashing around them, louder and louder and –

They all tumble forward into what Cor can only describe as - well, as a giant bubble.

The water is held back by the clear almost plastic-y sides of the bubble and the roar of the waves is muted. Perhaps most importantly, they seem to be breathing without difficulty. The capybara is at the front (Cor thinks) of the bubble, doing something on some sort of keypad, and the bubble begins to move forward, first simply away from the beach in a straight line and then, once they’ve gotten past the shallower waters of the beach, starting to turn down to head deeper into the waters.

“Woooooow,” Prompto – always inclined to look at the bright side of life – says, his tears drying up. He elbows Noctis. “Look, Noct! Fish!”

There are indeed many brightly-colored tropical fish around them.

“You should also look at the coral reef,” the hippopotamus ‘taur suggests kindly. “We’ll be passing that soon.”

Noctis sniffs a little, still not fully recovered. “Coral reef? I think Iggy was talking about that on the boat ride over…”

“Yeah, he was,” Prompto says. “He had that book – with all the colors! When will we see the reef, Ms. – uh, sorry, what’s your name?”

“I am Dido,” the hippopotamus ‘taur says. “The capybara is Bomilcar; the otters are Mago and Minthos.”

“My name’s Prompto Argentum,” Prompto says proudly. “That’s Cor Leonis – he’s my Cor – and this here’s Noct and that’s his mom, Aulea. And then there’s Basiana an’ Tristus an’ Maero an’ Serio an’ –”

“What sort of ship is this?” Basiana interrupts to ask, looking around. She hasn’t put her weapon down: good. They might be trusting these 'taurs, but there's a limit to any amount of trust. “I’ve never seen anything like this before – where did you get this tech?”

Aulea has different concerns. “Why did you call –” She hesitates a moment, since the other Crownsguard members are not necessarily in on the secret yet. “Why did you call Noctis what you called him?”

“Because he is, of course,” the capybara ‘taur – Bomilcar – says, relinquishing control of the bubble to one of the otters in a practiced hand-off. “We were sent by our King to yours, so as to offer our aid when you approach the Hydrean for the Contract. We are the closest land to the Tidemother’s domain, after all.”

“Your King?” Cor echoes, eyebrows arching. As far as he knows, there’s only one King – that of Lucis – while Niflheim has an Emperor, Tenebrae an Oracle, and Accordo a Secretary.

“Oh, yes,” Bomilcar says. “King Hasdrubal the Third – the King of Atlantioi.”

#final fantasy xv #ffxv #cor leonis #lunafreya nox fleuret #clarus amicitia #prompto argentum #noctis lucis caelum #regis lucis caelum #aulea lucis caelum #ignis scientia #apollonia scientia #crowe altius #gladiolus amicitia #my fic #nocturne

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vvlwn · 6 years

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Lemon 檸檬 In my free time, I’ve been working on a translation of a Japanese short story by Motojiro Kajii from 1929. This is one of my favourite short stories that I read while in Japan so I thought I’d give translating it a shot since there's no easily accessible English translation of it out there.

Lemon

Motojirō Kajii

A bizarre, ominous lump was continuously pressing down on me. You could say it was a restless impatience or a kind of disgust. Or like when you drink every day and eventually a time comes where you’ve gotten used to hangovers. That time had finally come – and it was not going to go well. I'm not talking about the build-up of mucus in my lungs or my neurasthenia. Nor am I talking about the loans that breathed down my neck. No, what was about to turn bad was this bizarre and ominous lump.

Now, even the most beautiful music that had once filled me with such joy and the most beautiful passages of poetry were unbearable. Even when I specifically went out to hear the phonographs plays, after the first two or three measures, I suddenly got the urge to stand up and leave. For some reason, I couldn’t bear to stay any longer. So in the end, I began to wander endlessly from place to place.

I remember at the time, for some reason being drawn in by this ugly, yet still so beautiful, thing. There was something about this area, which even from afar would seem dilapidated. More than it’s main streets, which even for this place were cold and unfriendly, I much preferred the odd familiarity of the backstreets – with it’s hanging dirty laundry, piled up mounds of junk and dishevelled rooms which looked down on you from above. With a lingering feeling of erosion caused by wind and the rain, this area would too eventually be turned into mud – the collapsing mud walls, the slumping houses. The only things in this area which had any life left were the plants. At times there were wonderful sunflowers and blossoming canna flowers.

Sometimes, while I wondered these streets, I would try to imagine I wasn’t in Kyoto, but Saitama or Nagasaki, somewhere hundreds of miles away from here. I wanted to get out of Kyoto. Leave it for somewhere where nobody knew me. When I got there, my first order of business would be to rest. A single room in a crowded inn. A clean futon. A perfumed mosquito net and a well-fitting yukata. In such a place I would lay my head and just sleep, without any intruding thoughts, just sleep, for an entire month. I wished this place would turn into such a town.

As this hallucination of mine grew more and more vivid, I let go and let my imagination flow endlessly. There was nothing left but the overlapping of my hallucinations and the dilapidated city around me. And so, I played with losing myself in this reality.

Recently, I’ve also come to be quite fond of those so-called firework things. The fireworks with cheap red, blue, yellow and purple paint. The bundles of differently stripped fireworks. The ones with names like the falling star of Chusanji Temple, flower wars and withering pampas. Then there were the rat firecrackers, all tightly rolled up and stuffed one by one into boxes. Such things aroused a strange excitement in me.

On top of that, there were the Nankindama marbles and the colourful glass Ohajiki marbles which held images of red snapper and flowers. Something that brought me much joy was seeing what they would feel like to lick. I wonder if there are other things in this world that could even come close to the faint and cool taste of those glass marbles. When I was young I would often be scolded by my mother and father for putting them in my mouth. It may be because those memories from a younger time live on within the now old and sunken man that is myself, but that same faintly refreshing, almost poetic flavour playfully lingers on my tongue when I taste them again.

As you could have probably guessed, money was something I did not have. However, when I would begin to feel the slightest anything towards such things, that, which was the only thing that could comfort me, was a little bit of gaudy extravagance.

Extravagance, which to me was things for two or three Zeni. Beautiful things -– the ones that touched even my soulless self. Such things would naturally console and warm my heart.

Before my life had come undone, one of my favourite places was Maruzen. The red and yellow eau de Cologne and Eau De Quinine hair tonic. The stylish and elegant amber and jade glass perfume bottles with their French Rococo styled designs. Pipes and swords and soaps and cigarettes. There were many times I spent a good short hour admiring such things. Once I eventually enjoyed the extravagance of purchasing a top of the line pencil. However, even at the time, this place had already become nothing more than depressing to me. Books, students, check out counters, all of which seemed to me like ghosts of debt collection.

One morning - at the time, I had been living by hopping from one friend's house to the next –– but, when my friends would leave for school, I would be left, alone, in the middle of the emptiness they left behind them. And again, I would have to start wondering. Something was pressing me, urging me to move forward. And from city block to city block, I walked, through the dingy back alleyways, pausing in front of cheap candy stores and gazing at the dried shrimp, yuba tofu and dried codfish of the grocer. Eventually, I worked my way down Teramachi street, towards Nijō, and stopped at a fruit shop. I would like to take a moment here to introduce this fruit shop. Out of all the many places I know, this fruit shop is my absolute favourite. Although it was not the finest store, you were able to brazenly feel the inherent beauty that comes with a fruit shop. I remember the fruits being lined up on a steep, sloping shelf. The shelf itself was made from an old, black lacquered board. The fruits were all lined up as if their colour and size had been solidified by something reminiscent of the flow of some beautiful piece of music played at allegro which turns the audience to stone like the mask of Gorgon. As you went further and further into the back, there were, of course, vegetables piled sky high too. In fact, the beauty of, for instance, their carrot leaves, was magnificent. Then there were the water soaked beans and the corms of arrowheads.

The houses in that area were the most beautiful at night. Teramachi street was a lively boulevard as a whole. It may not have been as busy as Tokyo or Osaka, but the lights from the storefronts flooded into the streets. However, for some reason, the area in front of the fruit shop remained curiously dark. Because one side of the boulevard was at a corner with the dark Nijo-Dori, it was only natural that it too would be dark, but for the next house over, it wasn't as plainly obvious as to why, for a house in Teramachi street, it was so dark. However, if that house hadn't been so dark, I don't think it would have lured me in as it did. Another thing was the eaves, which jutted out from the shop. They hang like a cap sitting low over one's eyes. It's not really an epithet, but they were enough to make you think, 'Oh! The eaves on that shop are hanging awfully low'. It's because of this that the area above the eaves too was stooped in a deep darkness. And because the surroundings were so dark, the dazzling brilliance of the few lights which rained down light at the front of the store could not be taken away by anyone. It was free to illuminate as beautifully as it pleased. Even in this boulevard of Teramachi street, it was rare for a view to enchant me as much as the one from the fruit shop did, with its unobstructed view into the second floor window of the neighbourhood locksmith and the naked street lamp which stood in the slender, spiralling road, drilling it's way into your eyes.

On that day, before I knew it, I had brought some there. That is to say, there was a very curious lemon on sale. Lemons were just one of the many things they had mountains of. But, although it wasn't a dump of a place, it wasn't more than just an ordinary greengrocer, so I had never seen such a thing like it before. I fell in love with this lemon. It's unembellished yellow colour as if a tube of Lemon Yellow paint had been squeezed out and dried and it's solid oval shape. I eventually decided to buy one of the lemons. I wonder where I went to after that. For a long time, I just walked the streets. I felt like from the moment I held the lemon, the ominous lump that had been continuously pressing down on my chest had loosened its grip on me. Standing on the street, I was in complete bliss. The fact that that melancholy which had been so persistent had just been drowned out by a single lemon – or at least the suspicion of such a thing – was a paradoxical truth. What a mysterious creature the heart can be.

The coldness of that lemon was unbelievably pleasing. At the time, I had poor lungs and had a constant fever. In fact, I tried to show my friends just how feverish I was by grasping their hands and without fail, my palms were always hotter than theirs. It was probably because of my fever, but the chill of their hands which seeped deep into my body felt pleasingly refreshing.

Again and again, I brought the fruit to my nose and inhaled its scent. The place it originally came from, California, began to fill my imagination. The words ‘an acrid odour’, which I learnt in the classical Chinese text ‘Baikansha-no-gen’, came to mind. And as I took in this scent and filled my lungs as they had never been filled before, blood began to rush to my face and through my body. It was as if a new found energy had been awoken inside me...

I thought it strange that in reality such a simple coolness, texture, scent and appearance had been such to my liking as to make me think that, for a great amount of time, I had in fact been searching for it. But, that's because that's how I was back then.

With a spring in my step and a kind of pride for these streets, I walked, thinking of the poets of days past, who swaggered down the same streets in their beautiful robes.

To see the different ways the colour would reflect off them, I began placing the lemon on top of my dirty handkerchief and then on my cloak. As I did, I thought,

‘Yeah, this is it, this weight is exactly it’-

The haughty and absurd idea that such a weight had constantly been avoiding my grasp and that it was undoubtedly the conversion of everything good and everything beautiful into a single weight, filled my mind. Whatever it was, I was in a state of bliss.

I wonder where I was walking? I eventually found myself stopped in front of Maruzen. Maruzen, which I normally tried to avoid as much as possible, now seemed so much more welcoming.

I thought, ‘just for once, let's give have a quick look’ and threw myself into the store.

But what happened? The feelings of happiness that filled my heart gradually began to disappear. My heart did not go for the perfume bottles or the pipes. A melancholic feeling came rushing over me, I think maybe the fatigue from walking around so much might have finally caught up to me. I went over to the bookshelf stacked with art books. ‘It always takes so much energy to pull out even just one of these clunking art books’ I thought. One by one, I began pulling out each one. Then I began opening them. But it stopped at that. The desire to turn the pages just never came. Then, the curse inside me reached out and pulled out the next volume. The result was the same. Still, I wouldn’t have felt better until I tried at least once.

I couldn't bear it anymore and I put it down somewhere else. I was no longer able to even put it back where it belonged. Over and over, I repeated this.

Finally, because even the bulky, chrome-yellow book which I would usually have had such a fondness for had become unbearable now, I had to leave it alone. What a curse. A lingering exhaustion was left in the muscles of my hands. I had become depressed and stood there gazing at the pile of books I had just pulled out.

I wondered what had happened to those books which had once enticed me so.

In the past, the strangely out of place feeling I got when looking around at my everyday surroundings after passing my eyes over each and every page of a book was something that I loved and savoured so...

‘Oh, that's right’... That's when I remembered the lemon. ‘If just once I try out the colours of the mountain of disarranged books with this lemon… That's it’

With that, the light excitement I felt earlier returned. I picked up all the books that were within arms reach, smashed them down hurriedly and hastily built them up again. I pulled out new books, added them to the pile and then removed them again. That's when the bizarre, fantastical castle I had built up began to turn shades of red and blue.

Finally, it was finished. And while restraining my fluttering heart, I set the lemon at the very top of that dreadful castle's wall. And it was magnificent.

As I passed my gaze over it all, the lemon seemed to be quietly absorbing the cluttered gradients of colours into its spindle-shaped body with a clear, carried sound of a crashing gong. I felt like the dusty air in Maruzen had gone strangely tense around the lemon. For a while, I just gazed at it.

Suddenly, a second idea came to me. This curious new plot gripped my heart.

-’I should leave it as it is and get out of here as if nothing's happened’-

I felt strangely tickled by this. ‘Should I leave now? Yes, I should leave’.

That strangely ticklish feeling brought a smile to my face as I took back to the streets. ‘How great would it be if in ten minutes from now Maruzen was destroyed in a massive explosion… with those shelves full of art at the centre… and what if the mysterious perpetrator, who set the awesome, sparkling golden bomb, was none other than me?’

I eagerly pursued this daydream. ‘If that happened, that stinking Maruzen would be left in a million pieces’.

With that, I began my way down to Kyogoku, where its moving billboards filled the streets with a mystically odd charm.

檸檬

梶井基次郎

えたいの知れない不吉な塊が私の心を始終圧えつけていた。焦躁と言おうか、嫌悪と言おうか――酒を飲んだあとに宿酔いがあるように、酒を毎日飲んでいると宿酔に相当した時期がやって来る。それが来たのだ。これはちょっといけなかった。結果した肺尖カタルや神経衰弱がいけないのではない。また背を焼くような借金などがいけないのではない。いけないのはその不吉な塊だ。以前私を喜ばせたどんな美しい音楽も、どんな美しい詩の一節も辛抱がならなくなった。蓄音器を聴かせてもらいにわざわざ出かけて行っても、最初の二三小節で不意に立ち上がってしまいたくなる。何かが私を居た堪らずさせるのだ。それで始終私は街から街を浮浪し続けていた。

何故なぜだかその頃私は見すぼらしくて美しいものに強くひきつけられたのを覚えている。風景にしても壊れかかった街だとか、その街にしてもよそよそしい表通りよりもどこか親しみのある、汚い洗濯物が干してあったりがらくたが転がしてあったりむさくるしい部屋が覗いていたりする裏通りが好きであった。雨や風が蝕ばんでやがて土に帰ってしまう、と言ったような趣きのある街で、土塀が崩れていたり家並が傾きかかっていたり――勢いのいいのは植物だけで、時とするとびっくりさせるような向日葵があったりカンナが咲いていたりする。

時どき私はそんな路を歩きながら、ふと、そこが京都ではなくて京都から何百里も離れた仙台とか長崎とか――そのような市へ今自分が来ているのだ――という錯覚を起こそうと努める。私は、できることなら京都から逃げ出して誰一人知らないような市へ行ってしまいたかった。第一に安静。がらんとした旅館の一室。清浄な蒲団。匂いのいい蚊帳と糊のよくきいた浴衣。そこで一月ほど何も思わず横になりたい。希がわくはここがいつの間にかその市になっているのだったら。――錯覚がようやく成功しはじめると私はそれからそれへ想像の絵具を塗りつけてゆく。なんのことはない、私の錯覚と壊れかかった街との二重写しである。そして私はその中に現実の私自身を見失うのを楽しんだ。

私はまたあの花火というやつが好きになった。花火そのものは第二段として、あの安っぽい絵具で赤や紫や黄や青や、さまざまの縞模様を持った花火の束、中山寺の星下り、花合戦、枯れすすき。それから鼠花火というのは一つずつ輪になっていて箱に詰めてある。そんなものが変に私の心を唆った。

それからまた、びいどろという色硝子で鯛や花を打ち出してあるおはじきが好きになったし、南京玉が好きになった。またそれを嘗めてみるのが私にとってなんともいえない享楽だったのだ。あのびいどろの味ほど幽かな涼しい味があるものか。私は幼い時よくそれを口に入れては父母に叱られたものだが、その幼時のあまい記憶が大きくなって落ち魄ぶれた私に蘇がえってくる故だろうか、まったくあの味には幽かな爽やかななんとなく詩美と言ったような味覚が漂って来る。

察しはつくだろうが私にはまるで金がなかった。とは言えそんなものを見て少しでも心の動きかけた時の私自身を慰めるためには贅沢ということが必要であった。二銭や三銭のもの――と言って贅沢なもの。美しいもの――と言って無気力な私の触角にむしろ媚て来るもの。――そう言ったものが自然私を慰めるのだ。

生活がまだ蝕ばまれていなかった以前私の好きであった所は、たとえば丸善であった。赤や黄のオードコロンやオードキニン。洒落れた切子細工や典雅なロココ趣味の浮模様を持った琥珀色や翡翠色の香水壜。煙管、小刀、石鹸、煙草。私はそんなものを見るのに小一時間も費すことがあった。そして結局一等いい鉛筆を一本買うくらいの贅沢をするのだった。しかしここももうその頃の私にとっては重くるしい場所に過ぎなかった。書籍、学生、勘定台、これらはみな借金取りの亡霊のように私には見えるのだった。

ある朝――その頃私は甲の友達から乙の友達へというふうに友達の下宿を転々として暮らしていたのだが――友達が学校へ出てしまったあとの空虚な空気のなかにぽつねんと一人取り残された。私はまたそこから彷徨さまよい出なければならなかった。何かが私を追いたてる。そして街から街へ、先に言ったような裏通りを歩いたり、駄菓子屋の前で立ち留どまったり、乾物屋の乾蝦ほしえびや棒鱈ぼうだらや湯葉ゆばを眺めたり、とうとう私は二条の方へ寺町を下さがり、そこの果物屋で足を留とめた。ここでちょっとその果物屋を紹介したいのだが、その果物屋は私の知っていた範囲で最も好きな店であった。そこは決して立派な店ではなかったのだが、果物屋固有の美しさが最も露骨に感ぜられた。果物はかなり勾配の急な台の上に並べてあって、その台というのも古びた黒い漆塗うるしぬりの板だったように思える。何か華やかな美しい音楽の快速調アッレグロの流れが、見る人を石に化したというゴルゴンの鬼面――的なものを差しつけられて、あんな色彩やあんなヴォリウムに凝こり固まったというふうに果物は並んでいる。青物もやはり奥へゆけばゆくほど堆うず高く積まれている。――実際あそこの人参葉にんじんばの美しさなどは素晴すばらしかった。それから水に漬つけてある豆だとか慈姑くわいだとか。

またそこの家の美しいのは夜だった。寺町通はいったいに賑にぎやかな通りで――と言って感じは東京や大阪よりはずっと澄んでいるが――飾窓の光がおびただしく街路へ流れ出ている。それがどうしたわけかその店頭の周囲だけが妙に暗いのだ。もともと片方は暗い二条通に接している街角になっているので、暗いのは当然であったが、その隣家が寺町通にある家にもかかわらず暗かったのが瞭然はっきりしない。しかしその家が暗くなかったら、あんなにも私を誘惑するには至らなかったと思う。もう一つはその家の打ち出した廂ひさしなのだが、その廂が眼深まぶかに冠った帽子の廂のように――これは形容というよりも、「おや、あそこの店は帽子の廂をやけに下げているぞ」と思わせるほどなので、廂の上はこれも真暗なのだ。そう周囲が真暗なため、店頭に点つけられた幾つもの電燈が驟雨しゅううのように浴びせかける絢爛けんらんは、周囲の何者にも奪われることなく、ほしいままにも美しい眺めが照らし出されているのだ。裸の電燈が細長い螺旋棒らせんぼうをきりきり眼の中へ刺し込んでくる往来に立って、また近所にある鎰屋かぎやの二階の硝子ガラス窓をすかして眺めたこの果物店の眺めほど、その時どきの私を興がらせたものは寺町の中でも稀まれだった。

その日私はいつになくその店で買物��した。というのはその店には珍しい檸檬れもんが出ていたのだ。檸檬などごくありふれている。がその店というのも見すぼらしくはないまでもただあたりまえの八百屋に過ぎなかったので、それまであまり見かけたことはなかった。いったい私はあの檸檬が好きだ。レモンエロウの絵具をチューブから搾り出して固めたようなあの単純な色も、それからあの丈たけの詰まった紡錘形の恰好かっこうも。――結局私はそれを一つだけ買うことにした。それからの私はどこへどう歩いたのだろう。私は長い間街を歩いていた。始終私の心を圧えつけていた不吉な塊がそれを握った瞬間からいくらか弛ゆるんで来たとみえて、私は街の上で非常に幸福であった。あんなに執拗しつこかった憂鬱が、そんなものの一顆いっかで紛らされる――あるいは不審なことが、逆説的なほんとうであった。それにしても心というやつはなんという不可思議なやつだろう。

その檸檬の冷たさはたとえようもなくよかった。その頃私は肺尖はいせんを悪くしていていつも身体に熱が出た。事実友達の誰彼だれかれに私の熱を見せびらかすために手の握り合いなどをしてみるのだが、私の掌が誰のよりも熱かった。その熱い故せいだったのだろう、握っている掌から身内に浸み透ってゆくようなその冷たさは快いものだった。

私は何度も何度もその果実を鼻に持っていっては嗅かいでみた。それの産地だというカリフォルニヤが想像に上って来る。漢文で習った「売柑者之言」の中に書いてあった「鼻を撲うつ」という言葉が断きれぎれに浮かんで来る。そしてふかぶかと胸一杯に匂やかな空気を吸い込めば、ついぞ胸一杯に呼吸したことのなかった私の身体や顔には温い血のほとぼりが昇って来てなんだか身内に元気が目覚めて来たのだった。……

実際あんな単純な冷覚や触覚や嗅覚や視覚が、ずっと昔からこればかり探していたのだと言いたくなったほど私にしっくりしたなんて私は不思議に思える――それがあの頃のことなんだから。

私はもう往来を軽やかな昂奮に弾んで、一種誇りかな気持さえ感じながら、美的装束をして街を歩かっぽした詩人のことなど思い浮かべては歩いていた。汚れた手拭の上へ載せてみたりマントの上へあてがってみたりして色の反映を量はかったり、またこんなことを思ったり、

――つまりはこの重さなんだな。――

その重さこそ常つねづね尋ねあぐんでいたもので、疑いもなくこの重さはすべての善いものすべての美しいものを重量に換算して来た重さであるとか、思いあがった諧謔心かいぎゃくしんからそんな馬鹿げたことを考えてみたり――なにがさて私は幸福だったのだ。

どこをどう歩いたのだろう、私が最後に立ったのは丸善の前だった。平常あんなに避けていた丸善がその時の私にはやすやすと入れるように思えた。

「今日は一ひとつ入ってみてやろう」そして私はずかずか入って行った。

しかしどうしたことだろう、私の心を充たしていた幸福な感情はだんだん逃げていった。香水の壜にも煙管きせるにも私の心はのしかかってはゆかなかった。憂鬱が立て罩こめて来る、私は歩き廻った疲労が出て来たのだと思った。私は画本の棚の前へ行ってみた。画集の重たいのを取り出すのさえ常に増して力が要るな！と思った。しかし私は一冊ずつ抜き出してはみる、そして開けてはみるのだが、克明にはぐってゆく気持はさらに湧いて来ない。しかも呪われたことにはまた次の一冊を引き出して来る。それも同じことだ。それでいて一度バラバラとやってみなくては気が済まないのだ。それ以上は堪たまらなくなってそこへ置いてしまう。以前の位置へ戻すことさえできない。私は幾度もそれを繰り返した。とうとうおしまいには日頃から大好きだったアングルの橙色だいだいろの重い本までなおいっそうの堪たえがたさのために置いてしまった。――なんという呪われたことだ。手の筋肉に疲労が残っている。私は憂鬱になってしまって、自分が抜いたまま積み重ねた本の群を眺めていた。

以前にはあんなに私をひきつけた画本がどうしたことだろう。一枚一枚に眼を晒さらし終わって後、さてあまりに尋常な周囲を見廻すときのあの変にそぐわない気持を、私は以前には好んで味わっていたものであった。……

「あ、そうだそうだ」その時私は袂たもとの中の檸檬れもんを憶い出した。本の色彩をゴチャゴチャに積みあげて、一度この檸檬で試してみたら。「そうだ」

私にまた先ほどの軽やかな昂奮が帰って来た。私は手当たり次第に積みあげ、また慌あわただしく潰し、また慌しく築きあげた。新しく引き抜いてつけ加えたり、取り去ったりした。奇怪な幻想的な城が、そのたびに赤くなったり青くなったりした。

やっとそれはでき上がった。そして軽く跳りあがる心を制しながら、その城壁の頂きに恐る恐る檸檬れもんを据えつけた。そしてそれは上出来だった。

見わたすと、その檸檬の色彩はガチャガチャした色の階調をひっそりと紡錘形の身体の中へ吸収してしまって、カーンと冴えかえっていた。私は埃ほこりっぽい丸善の中の空気が、その檸檬の周囲だけ変に緊張しているような気がした。私はしばらくそれを眺めていた。

不意に第二のアイディアが起こった。その奇妙なたくらみはむしろ私をぎょっとさせた。

――それをそのままにしておいて私は、なに喰くわぬ顔をして外へ出る。――

私は変にくすぐったい気持がした。「出て行こうかなあ。そうだ出て行こう」そして私はすたすた出て行った。

変にくすぐったい気持が街の上の私を微笑ほほえませた。丸善の棚へ黄金色に輝く恐ろしい爆弾を仕掛けて来た奇怪な悪漢が私で、もう十分後にはあの丸善が美術の棚を中心として大爆発をするのだったらどんなにおもしろいだろう。

私はこの想像を熱心に追求した。「そうしたらあの気詰まりな丸善も粉葉こっぱみじんだろう」

そして私は活動写真の看板画が奇体な趣きで街を彩いろどっている京極を下って行った。

#Lemon #Vincent Nicoll-van Leeuwen #Short story #Japanese novel #檸檬 #レモン #短編小説 #Vincent Nicoll

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pamphletstoinspire · 6 years

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BOOK OF JOB - From The Douay-Rheims Bible - Latin Vulgate

Chapter 31

The Book of Job shows how human affairs are ruled by Divine Providence using probable arguments.

"Although you hide these things in your heart, I know that you still remember everything." - (Job speaking to God)

***

INTRODUCTION. This Book takes its name from the holy man, of whom it treats; who, according to the more probable opinion, was of the race of Esau, and the same as Jobab, king of Edom, mentioned Gen. xxxvi. 33. It is uncertain who was the writer of it. Some attribute it to Job himself; others to Moses, or some one of the prophets. In the Hebrew it is written in verse, from the beginning of the third chapter to the forty-second chapter. Ch. --- The beginning and conclusion are historical, and in prose. Some have divided this work into a kind of tragedy, the first act extending to C. xv., the second to C. xxii., the third to C. xxxviii., where God appears, and the plot is unfolded. They suppose that the sentiments of the speakers are expressed, though not their own words. This may be very probable: but the opinion of those who look upon the work as a mere allegory, must be rejected with horror. The sacred writers speak of Job as of a personage who had really existed, (C.) and set the most noble pattern of virtue, and particularly of patience. Tob. ii. 12. Ezec. xiv. 14. Jam. v. 11. Philo and Josephus pass over this history, as they do those of Tobias, Judith, &c. H. --- The time when Job lived is not clearly ascertained. Some have supposed (C.) that he was a contemporary with Esther; (D. Thalmud) on which supposition, the work is here placed in its chronological order. But Job more probably live during the period when the Hebrews groaned under the Egyptian bondage, (H.) or sojourned in the wilderness. Num. xiv. 9. The Syrians place the book at the head of the Scriptures. C. --- Its situation has often varied, and is of no great importance. The subject which is here treated, is of far more; as it is intended to shew that the wicked sometimes prosper, while the good are afflicted. H. --- This had seldom been witnessed before the days of Abraham: but as God had now selected his family to be witnesses and guardians of religion, a new order of things was beginning to appear. This greatly perplexed Job himself; who, therefore, confesses that he had not sufficiently understood the ways of God, till he had deigned to explain them in the parable of the two great beasts. C. xlii. 3. We cannot condemn the sentiments expressed by Job, since God has declared that they were right, (ib. v. 8) and reprimands Elihu, (C. xxxviii. 2.) and the other three friends of Job, for maintaining a false opinion, though, from the history of past times, they had judge it to be true. This remark may excupate them from the stain of wilful lying, and vain declamation. Houbigant. --- However, as they assert what was false, their words of themselves are of no authority; and they are even considered as the forerunners of heretics. S. Greg. S. Aug. &c. T. --- Job refutes them by sound logic. S. Jerom. --- We may discover in this book the sum of Christian morality, (W.) for which purpose it has been chiefly explained by S. Gregory. The style is very poetical, (H.) though at the same time simple, like that of Moses. D. --- It is interspersed with many Arabic and Chaldaic idioms; (S. Jer.) whence some have concluded, that it was written originally by Job and his friends (H.) in Arabic, and translated into Heb. by Moses, for the consolation of his brethren. W. --- The Heb. text is in many places incorrect; (Houbig.) and the Sept. seem to have omitted several verses. Orig. --- S. Jerom says almost eight hundred, (C.) each consisting of about six words. H. --- Shultens, in 1747, expressed his dissatisfaction with the labours of all preceding commentators. To explain this book may not therefore be an easy task: but we must be as short as possible. H. --- Those who desire farther information, may consult Pineda, (W.) whose voluminous work, in two folios, will nearly (H.) give all necessary information. C.

The additional Notes in this Edition of the New Testament will be marked with the letter A. Such as are taken from various Interpreters and Commentators, will be marked as in the Old Testament. B. Bristow, C. Calmet, Ch. Challoner, D. Du Hamel, E. Estius, J. Jansenius, M. Menochius, Po. Polus, P. Pastorini, T. Tirinus, V. Bible de Vence, W. Worthington, Wi. Witham. — The names of other authors, who may be occasionally consulted, will be given at full length.

Verses are in English and Latin. HAYDOCK CATHOLIC BIBLE COMMENTARY

This Catholic commentary on the Old Testament, following the Douay-Rheims Bible text, was originally compiled by Catholic priest and biblical scholar Rev. George Leo Haydock (1774-1849). This transcription is based on Haydock's notes as they appear in the 1859 edition of Haydock's Catholic Family Bible and Commentary printed by Edward Dunigan and Brother, New York, New York.

TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES

Changes made to the original text for this transcription include the following:

Greek letters. The original text sometimes includes Greek expressions spelled out in Greek letters. In this transcription, those expressions have been transliterated from Greek letters to English letters, put in italics, and underlined. The following substitution scheme has been used: A for Alpha; B for Beta; G for Gamma; D for Delta; E for Epsilon; Z for Zeta; E for Eta; Th for Theta; I for Iota; K for Kappa; L for Lamda; M for Mu; N for Nu; X for Xi; O for Omicron; P for Pi; R for Rho; S for Sigma; T for Tau; U for Upsilon; Ph for Phi; Ch for Chi; Ps for Psi; O for Omega. For example, where the name, Jesus, is spelled out in the original text in Greek letters, Iota-eta-sigma-omicron-upsilon-sigma, it is transliterated in this transcription as, Iesous. Greek diacritical marks have not been represented in this transcription.

Footnotes. The original text indicates footnotes with special characters, including the astrisk (*) and printers' marks, such as the dagger mark, the double dagger mark, the section mark, the parallels mark, and the paragraph mark. In this transcription all these special characters have been replaced by numbers in square brackets, such as [1], [2], [3], etc.

Accent marks. The original text contains some English letters represented with accent marks. In this transcription, those letters have been rendered in this transcription without their accent marks.

Other special characters.

Solid horizontal lines of various lengths that appear in the original text have been represented as a series of consecutive hyphens of approximately the same length, such as ---.

Ligatures, single characters containing two letters united, in the original text in some Latin expressions have been represented in this transcription as separate letters. The ligature formed by uniting A and E is represented as Ae, that of a and e as ae, that of O and E as Oe, and that of o and e as oe.

Monetary sums in the original text represented with a preceding British pound sterling symbol (a stylized L, transected by a short horizontal line) are represented in this transcription with a following pound symbol, l.

The half symbol (1/2) and three-quarters symbol (3/4) in the original text have been represented in this transcription with their decimal equivalent, (.5) and (.75) respectively.

Unreadable text. Places where the transcriber's copy of the original text is unreadable have been indicated in this transcription by an empty set of square brackets, [].

Chapter 31

Job, to defend himself from the unjust judgments of his friends, gives a sincere account of his own virtues.

[1] I made a covenant with my eyes, that I would not so much as think upon a virgin. Pepigi foedus cum oculis meis, ut ne cogitarem quidem de virgine.

[2] For what part should God from above have in me, and what inheritance the Almighty from on high? Quam enim partem haberet in me Deus desuper, et haereditatem Omnipotens de excelsis?

[3] Is not destruction to the wicked, and aversion to them that work iniquity? Numquid non perditio est iniquo, et alienatio operantibus injustitiam?

[4] Doth not he consider my ways, and number all my steps? Nonne ipse considerat vias meas, et cunctos gressus meos dinumerat?

[5] If I have walked in vanity, and my foot hath made haste to deceit: Si ambulavi in vanitate, et festinavit in dolo pes meus,

[6] Let him weigh me in a just balance, and let God know my simplicity. appendat me in statera justa, et sciat Deus simplicitatem meam.

[7] If my step hath turned out of the way, and if my heart hath followed my eyes, and if a spot hath cleaved to my hands: Si declinavit gressus meus de via, et si secutum est oculos meos cor meum, et si manibus meis adhaesit macula,

[8] Then let me sow and let another eat: and let my offspring be rooted out. seram, et alium comedat, et progenies mea eradicetur.

[9] If my heart hath been deceived upon a woman, and if I have laid wait at my friend's door: Si deceptum est cor meum super muliere, et si ad ostium amici mei insidiatus sum,

[10] Let my wife be the harlot of another, and let other men lie with her. scortum alterius sit uxor mea, et super illam incurventur alii.

[11] For this is a heinous crime, and a most grievous iniquity. Hoc enim nefas est, et iniquitas maxima.

[12] It is a fire that devoureth even to destruction, and rooteth up all things that spring. Ignis est usque ad perditionem devorans, et omnia eradicans genimina.

[13] If I have despised to abide judgment with my manservant, or my maidservant, when they had any controversy against me: Si contempsi subire judicium cum servo meo et ancilla mea, cum disceptarent adversum me:

[14] For what shall I do when God shall rise to judge? and when he shall examine, what shall I answer him? quid enim faciam cum surrexerit ad judicandum Deus? et cum quaesierit, quid respondebo illi?

[15] Did not he that made me in the womb make him also: and did not one and the same form me in the womb? Numquid non in utero fecit me, qui et illum operatus est? et formavit me in vulva unus?

[16] If I have denied to the poor what they desired, and have made the eyes of the widow wait: Si negavi quod volebant pauperibus, et oculos viduae expectare feci :

[17] If I have eaten my morsel alone, and the fatherless hath not eaten thereof: si comedi buccellam meam solus, et non comedit pupillus ex ea

[18] (For from my infancy mercy grew up with me: and it came out with me from my mother's womb:) ( quia ab infantia mea crevit mecum miseratio, et de utero matris meae egressa est mecum) :

[19] If I have despised him that was perishing for want of clothing, and the poor man that had no covering: si despexi pereuntem, eo quod non habuerit indumentum, et absque operimento pauperem :

[20] If his sides have not blessed me, and if he were not warmed with the fleece of my sheep: si non benedixerunt mihi latera ejus, et de velleribus ovium mearum calefactus est :

[21] If I have lifted up my hand against the fatherless, even when I saw myself superior in the gate: si levavi super pupillum manum meam, etiam cum viderem me in porta superiorem,

[22] Let my shoulder fall from its joint, and let my arm with its bones be broken. humerus meus a junctura sua cadat, et brachium meum cum suis ossibus confringatur.

[23] For I have always feared God as waves swelling over me, and his weight I was not able to bear. Semper enim quasi tumentes super me fluctus timui Deum, et pondus ejus ferre non potui.

[24] If I have thought gold my strength, and have said to fine gold: My confidence: Si putavi aurum robur meum, et obrizo dixi : Fiducia mea :

[25] If I have rejoiced over my great riches, and because my hand had gotten much. si laetatus sum super multis divitiis meis, et quia plurima reperit manus mea :

[26] If I beheld the sun when it shined, and the moon going in brightness: si vidi solem cum fulgeret, et lunam incedentem clare,

[27] And my heart in secret hath rejoiced, and I have kissed my hand with my mouth: et laetatum est in abscondito cor meum, et osculatus sum manum meam ore meo :

[28] Which is a very great iniquity, and a denial against the most high God. quae est iniquitas maxima, et negatio contra Deum altissimum.

[29] If I have been glad at the downfall of him that hated me, and have rejoiced that evil had found him. Si gavisus sum ad ruinam ejus qui me oderat, et exsultavi quod invenisset eum malum :

[30] For I have not given my mouth to sin, by wishing a curse to his soul. non enim dedi ad peccandum guttur meum, ut expeterem maledicens animam ejus.

[31] If the men of my tabernacle have not said: Who will give us of his flesh that we may be filled? Si non dixerunt viri tabernaculi mei : Quis det de carnibus ejus, ut saturemur?

[32] The stranger did not stay without, my door was open to the traveller. Foris non mansit peregrinus : ostium meum viatori patuit.

[33] If as a man I have hid my sin, and have concealed my iniquity in my bosom. Si abscondi quasi homo peccatum meum, et celavi in sinu meo iniquitatem meam :

[34] If I have been afraid at a very great multitude, and the contempt of kinsmen hath terrified me: and I have not rather held my peace, and not gone out of the door. si expavi ad multitudinem nimiam, et despectio propinquorum terruit me : et non magis tacui, nec egressus sum ostium.

[35] Who would grant me a hearer, that the Almighty may hear my desire; and that he himself that judgeth would write a book, Quis mihi tribuat auditorem, ut desiderium meum audiat Omnipotens, et librum scribat ipse qui judicat,

[36] That I may carry it on my shoulder, and put it about me as a crown? ut in humero meo portem illum, et circumdem illum quasi coronam mihi?

[37] At every step of mine I would pronounce it, and offer it as to a prince. Per singulos gradus meos pronuntiabo illum, et quasi principi offeram eum.

[38] If my land cry against me, and with it the furrows thereof mourn: Si adversum me terra mea clamat, et cum ipsa sulci ejus deflent :

[39] If I have eaten the fruits thereof without money, and have afflicted the soul of the tillers thereof: si fructus ejus comedi absque pecunia, et animam agricolarum ejus afflixi :

[40] Let thistles grow up to me instead of wheat, and thorns instead of barley. pro frumento oriatur mihi tribulus, et pro hordeo spina. Finita sunt verba Job.

Commentary:

Ver. 1. I made. Job is compelled to proclaim his own praises, for his vindication, as S. Paul was, being at the same time convinced that he had only done his duty. Luk. xvii. 10. This is the third part of his discourse. Having given a picture of his prosperous and of his miserable condition, he observes that the latter was not inflicted in consequence of any misconduct, since he had always been attentive to avoid (C.) the most remote danger of offending God, or his neighbour. H. --- That I. Heb. "for why should I think upon a virgin?" H. --- Why should I expose myself, (C.) by indiscreet looks, (H.) since the passage from the eye to the heart is so easy. Eccles. ii. 10. M. --- In the warfare between the flesh and the spirit, Job deemed this precaution necessary, (W.) and was thus preserved from carnal thoughts. S. Greg. xx. 2.

Ver. 2. High, if I should give way to such unchaste thoughts. M.

Ver. 3. Aversion of God. Hebrew "strange punishment." Prot. Incontinence is a source of much mischief, and of the most dreadful punishments, as the deluge and fate of Sodom evince. H.

Ver. 5. Vanity, or hypocrisy, (C.) so as to overreach others. M.

Ver. 6. Simplicity, and "uprightness." Tummathi. H.

Ver. 7. Eyes. Sixtus V. read, "If my eye hath followed my heart." C. --- Job kept the utmost restraint both upon his eyes and heart, that no evil impressions from exterior objects might cause his ruin. Num. xv. 39. H. --- Hands, from presents, (C.) or injustice, particularly that of impurity. H.

Ver. 9. Door, to seduce his wife. C. M.

Ver. 10. Let. Heb. "Let my wife grind for another, and let others bend over her," urging her to work like the meanest slave. C. --- Sept. "Let my wife please (Grabe substitutes l of r, and reads alesai, grind for) another, and my little children be brought low." H. --- Yet the sense of the Vulg. is most followed. Eccli. xlvii. 21. Lam. v. 13. Ausonius (epig. 5) says, molitur per utramque cavernam. C.

Ver. 11. This adultery, to which I might have given way, and that of others with my wife, (H.) which would have been a requital, of which I could not indeed have complained, (M.) but which is nevertheless a most heinous offence. H. --- Iniquity. Heb. "a crime of judgment," or capital. Gen. xxxviii. 24. C. --- The canons of the Church (H.) have ranked adultery with murder and idolatry, which shews the horror in which it is held. C.

Ver. 12. Spring; the children. Eccli. xxiii. 35. Wisd. iv. 3. C. --- Prot. "all mine increase." H. --- Adulteresses were formerly consigned to the flames. The injured husband would resent the offence, and even dislike her former children. Love is also like a fire, and those who entertain it, may soon consume all their substance (M.) in feasting and presents. Above all, the fire of God's indignation in hell will still pursue the libidinous.

Ver. 13. Me, in private; as slaves had no redress in the common courts of judicature. We cannot but admire Job's humility, and noble sentiments of God, (C.) whose majesty will eclipse all human grandeur, and place the master and the servant on the same level. S. Greg. S. Aug. de Civ. Dei. x. 25. Eph. vi. 9. Col. iv. 1.

Ver. 16. Wait, and not give sentence in due time, (H.) but frustrated her expectation. M.

Ver. 17. Alone. This was objected to S. Chrysostom. C. --- But his conduct proceeded not from pride or avarice. H. --- The ancient patriarchs delighted much in the exercise of hospitality; and Tobias (iv. 17.) exhorts his son to invite the poor. Cœna, or "supper," received its name from many eating "together," while people dined alone. Plut. Sym. viii. prob. 6.

Ver. 18. Womb. I was of a compassionate disposition, with which I always corresponded. S. Greg. --- Heb. "from my youth, pity (ceab, which Prot. translate "as with a father." H.) grew up with me; and from my birth I have preserved it!" C. --- Prot. "From my youth he was brought up with me, as with a father, and I have guided her (the widow, margin) from my mother's womb." Sept. "I fed him as a father, Theodotion adds, and was his leader from," &c. It was my earliest delight to assist the afflicted orphan and widow. H.

Ver. 20. Blessed me for clothing. M.

Ver. 21. Gate, in judgment, (C.) where I was the supreme judge, (H.) and none could resist me.

Ver. 22. With. Heb. "from its bone," at the elbow. Sept. C.

Ver. 23. Bear. I knew that he would resent the injury, though I might, for a time, oppress the weak.

Ver. 24. Fine obrizo. Heb. cethem. C. xxviii. 15. H.

Ver. 27. Rejoiced. Heb. and Chal. "been seduced" to idolatry. M. --- The worship of the sun and moon was most ancient. Ezec. viii. 16. --- Mouth, to testify respect and admiration. This custom prevailed in many nations. Lucian (dial. de sacrif.) observes that this only sacrifice of the poor was not disregarded. The Syrians still extend their hands towards the altar, and then apply them to their mouth and eyes, when the body and blood of Christ are offered in the Mass. Life of M. de Chateuil. C. --- Sept. (26) "Do I not see the shining sun eclipsed, (H.) and the moon disappear, for light does not belong to them," but to the Creator, from whom we have every thing; (C.) so that we should not swell with pride. Theodotion adds, (27) "and if my heart was secretly deceived." Sept. continue, "if indeed, putting my hand to my mouth, I kissed, (28) this would also be imputed to me as a great transgression, because I should have acted falsely before the most high God." H. --- He will admit of no rival; hence the man who admits another god, denies Him. M. --- Job repels the charge which had been indirectly brought against him. W.

Ver. 29. Rejoiced. Heb. "lifted up myself." Sept. "said in my heart, well, well;" euge. H. --- These sentiments of perfection shew that the same Spirit animated those who lived under the law of nature, as well as those who were favoured with the Mosaic or Christian dispensation. C.

Ver. 30. For. Sept. "Then let mine ear hear my curse, and may I fall a prey to the whispers of my people."

Ver. 31. Filled. If my servants have not testified sufficient affection for me, (H.) because I kept them under restraint, and obliged them to wait on my guests, (M. S. Greg.) I still would not omit that duty; (v. 32. H.) or if they gave way to the greatest excesses of rage, so as to threaten to devour me, I refrained from wishing any evil to my enemy, v. 30. C. --- Others suppose that Job's domestics urged him on to revenge, and spoke as if they were ready to eat his enemies; (Cajet. T.) while some explain the expression in a contrary sense, to denote the extreme attachment of Job's servants to his person; in which manner the Church uses it, speaking of Christ's feeding us with his own body and blood. C. --- Sept. "If frequently my maids said who?" &c. Heb. "said not, oh! that we had of his flesh! we cannot be satisfied." Prot. H. --- Have I given my servants any reason to utter these expressions?

Ver. 33. A man. Heb. "Adam," who, to excuse himself, threw the blame upon Eve. Gen. iii. 12. C. --- His posterity have too frequently imitated his example. The name of Adam often designates any man. H. --- It was requisite that Job should assert his sincerity, that his friends might not suppose that he was actuated by self-love or obstinacy to defend his innocence. C. --- Sept. "If falling into an involuntary fault I hid my sin, (for I feared not the crowd of people, that I should not plead before them) but if I let the needy pass my gate with his bosom empty." Theod. xxxv. subjoins, "who would give me a hearer? but if I did not revere the hand of the Lord." Sept. go on, "the bond which I had against any one, if I placed on my shoulder, as a crown, and read, an did not rather tear it, and give it up, taking nothing from my debtor. If," &c. v. 38. According to this version, Job insists on his pity for the distressed, and shews that he had no reason to fear. But the Hebrew is more conformable to the Vulg.

Ver. 34. Have not. Heb. "that I kept silence, not going out of doors" to defend the innocent. H. --- Moses commands judges to do their duty without fear. Ex. xxiii. 2. People in such situations ought to be uninfluenced by hatred, love, &c. Cæsar says, justly, (in Sallust) "qui de rebus dubiis consultant, ab adio, amicitiâ, irá atque misericordia vacuos esse decet. Haud facilè animus verum providet, ubi illa officiunt." H.

Ver. 35. He himself. Heb. "my adversary would write a book." His very accusation would establish my cause, provided he adhered to the truth. C. --- I would carry it about as a trophy. H. --- A book. The judge wrote down the sentence. Job appeals to God, and fears not being condemned.

Ver. 36. Crown. This shews that something pliable was then used to write on. The people of the East still lift up to their heads such letters as they respect. Chardin Perse, p. 218. See 4 K. xi. 12. C.

Ver. 37. To a. Heb. "as a prince would I approach to him," and not fear my adversary. H.

Ver. 38. Mourn, as if I possessed the land unjustly, or had committed some crime.

Ver. 39. Money. Or paying for them. M. --- And have. Prot. "or have caused the owners thereof to lose their life."

Ver. 40. Thorns. Prot. "cockle." Marg. "loathsome weeds." H. --- The precise import of the word is not known; but it means something "stinking." C. --- Sept. Batos, "a briar." H. --- Ended. Many Latin editions omit these words with S. Gregory, &c. The old Vulg. has & quieverunt verba Job, as a title. C. --- Sept. place at the beginning of the next chapter, "And Job ceased to speak. His three friends also left off contending with Job; for Job was just before them." Grabe substitutes "himself," as they were not perhaps yet convinced. H. - Job, however, addresses his discourse no more to them, but only to God, (C.) acknowledging some unadvised speeches; (W.) or want of information. H.

#book of job

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