#Gandalf has such beef with pippin

[salad-uchiha]

[thefabelmans2022]

it's very funny that the lotr movies adapt out most of gandalf's grumpy moments except the ones with pippin so it just looks like he has beef with this one particular hobbit for no real reason.

[mushroomates]

the fellowship at a hardware store, from someone who works at a hardware store:

sam: is in the nursery!! goes straight to the discount/dying plants and piles his cart full of wilted and sad plants. likes to rescue the houseplants first, has a soft spot for perennials and citrus trees. is a nightmare to check out but is very sweet about it. dirt and leaves everywhere. like, everywhere. they have to sweep after he’s gone. surprisingly strong and hauls big bags of dirt.

frodo: enjoys home improvement!! likes to wander carpeting and organization, hunts for good deals and keeps tabs on the sales weekends. he likes to peruse the shower curtains and closet accessories. likes to refurbish old furniture he finds off the side of the road- currently fixing up an antique dresser to put in the master bedroom.

merry: doorknobs, handles, dresser nobs. he likes to pick out the interesting and antique ones and customize his home with them. he really likes the oddly shaped ones, he has one starfish and one pickle on his nightstand table. likes to joke about touching all the knobs and fiddling with the knockers.

pippin: is lost in the lighting department. he’s staring up at all the pretty lights and hypnotizing fans. likes the remote controlled lights, enjoys messing with the demos. also likes collecting paint chips. (pippins also the kind of person to get really high and shit in the display toilets.) does not buy anything, maybe some beef jerky and skittles at the check outs.

boromir: this man has like 80 projects going on and is remarkably proficient in every conceivable area featured in the store. he’s here so much people think he works here. he kinda does. he’s happy to advise you, lead you to products, and lifts heavy things for little old ladies and swooning maidens. he’s happy to grab the things on the highest shelf as well as carry those bigs bags of dirt out to your care. he is just a naturally pure and helpful soul. <3

aragorn: has lost himself in scrap wood. straight to the lumber yard, straight to the pile of damaged and recycled wood. once a month, he comes and loads up as much as it will fit in a pickup truck. no one knows what he does with it but he keeps coming back. there are several theories around the store. either he’s building a bunker, has a side hustle by reselling it, makes massive fires or he does wood work. alternatively, he’s a homeless man building his own cabin in the woods so he can live away from society. that’s one’s probably the closest.

gandalf: mixes his own paint. he doesn’t work there but somehow he keeps getting back there and making his own custom colors. was known to pull a miracle and turn gray paint back into white. no one knows how he did this. likes to camp out in the seasonal section. enjoys lounging on couches and swings for long periods of time.

gimli: is so excited to walk into the tools section. wants all the toys. likes power tools in a way that’s both funny and scary. really likes chainsaws and leaf blowers, possibly because they pose the biggest threat to legolas. often gets flagged out the door because no one person needs that many tools and he must be up to something. he always beeps out the door because inevitably someone forgot to take off one of the sensors of his many, many tools. he used to be nicer about this but lately has lost patience with always being stopped out the door, and often will make a show of waving his receipt before leaving.

legolas: spends a good amount of time in the garden. i imagine he gets enamored with the fountains and ponds rather quickly, also likes the statues and fun pots. also, wanders through the garden and samples the plants. by samples i mean eat small bites of it, and if he finds the quality satisfactory he will purchase it. this is rarely the case and he often just goes around eating small bites of houseplants.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Re-reading The Fellowship of the Ring for the First Time in Fifteen Years

Ok, you guys...these hobbits have me kicking my feet and absolutely adoring them in this chapter. Honestly, I'm really starting to come around to understanding why people think that the movies did the characterization of the hobbits dirty. I still love the movies, but I am increasingly loving this book and the relationships between our hobbits. Literally, why did nobody tell me that Merry is HELLA competent and probably should actually be running this mission??? Let's talk "A Conspiracy Unmasked."

So for like most of the last chapter, Frodo was over here panicking about how he's going to tell his friends that he's leaving and feeling guilty about making them help him move for fakesies, and I totally get where he's coming from. Moving sucks, and they did a ton for him.

So my face probably about mirrored Frodo's when Merry interrupts Frodo's suuuuuuuuuuuuuper awkward attempts to come clean and just goes,

...you are miserable, because you don't know how to say goodbye. You meant to leave the Shire, of course. But danger has come on you sooner than you expected, and now you are making up your mind to go at once. And you don't want to. We are very sorry for you.

SOMEBODY PUT THIS HOBBIT IN CHARGE. Especially after he comes clean about running the little spy ring with Sam and Pippin. The literal "Bro, you're not nearly as good at keeping secrets as you think you are, we've known about the ring for literal decades" reveal was SO ON POINT, especially for a group of longtime friends. Thinking you can pull one over on your friends and them just going, "Congrats, you're the last to know" is one of my favorite things.

I also love that Merry is fully prepared to just be absolutely blunt about this. Frodo is...philosophical, introspective, and deeply worried about maintaining group dynamics, harmony, and safety. Conversely, Merry has an intrinsic trust in those group dynamics and leans on them to make sure that everyone knows where Frodo is so he doesn't give them the slip. Merry's reveal of Sam as the master spy was also sheer gold:

"Where is he?" said Frodo, looking round, as if he expected a masked and sinister figure to come out of a cupboard. "Step forward, Sam!" said Merry; and Sam stood up with a face scarlet up to the ears. "Here's our collector of information! And he collected a lot, I can tell you, before he was finally caught. After which, I may say, he seemed to regard himself as on parole, and dried up."

Merry was running a successful spy ring that neither Bilbo NOR APPARENTLY GANDALF noticed in the freaking Shire, the small-town gossip central of Middle Earth. He moved Frodo with less fuss than any move I've ever experienced--he even had baths and dinner ready to go!!!--and he was fully up to speed on the Ring and the scope of what the mission at this point is. All of this while wrangling Sam and Pippin to make sure that Frodo didn't disappear on them. Seriously, I'm just deeply impressed by Meriadoc Brandybuck, and if this is indicative of the Brandybucks in general, then the rest of the Shire needs to stop disparaging them.

I also cannot believe that we are STILL on the freaking Sackville-Bagginses, but APPARENTLY they are just the worst, because without them being so awful that Bilbo was more than happy to use the One Ring to disappear just to avoid passing them on the road, Merry would never have seen that little disappearing trick. And if he had never seen that trick, then he wouldn't have known to set up his little spy ring and keep that close an eye on Frodo. Literally, I need to know who the Sackville-Bagginses were to Tolkien, because there is some serious beef there beyond narrative usefulness.

OOH ALSO: Crack theory time, because this chapter specifically says that Bucklanders "were not very different from the other hobbits of the four farthings. Except in one point: they were fond of boats, and some of them could swim." WERE SMEAGOL AND DEAGOL BRANDYBUCKS??? I have no further evidence to back this up, but like...I enjoy the thought that there might be an extremely distant familial relationship between Frodo and Gollum.

I'm also feeling a lot of sympathy for Frodo at the end of this chapter. Not being able to sleep because of stress and achy legs sucks, and then to have a vaguely ominous dream sucks, and it definitely does not set his ass up for a strong start in the morning, which I think he's going to need, because they're getting out the door early the next morning.

We'll pick up with our hobbits next time, and finally see if we can't actually get out of the Shire without a direct encounter with the Black Riders. (I know, they make it to Weathertop before they get nailed, and there's a close call at the Prancing Pony, but I only know that from the movies, I don't remember if they have any other close calls around those events.)

[ispeaktheyburn]

💖 + anything Tolkien?

send me  💖 + a fandom and i’ll tell you my fav character  

Well, the Tolkien work I'm most familiar with is LOTR. If you'd asked me the last time I watched the films (IIRC I was in college, so at least 13 years ago 😱) I probably would've said Sam or Gandalf, but this time I'm going to say Boromir. He's one of the most (if not the most) fascinating and misunderstood characters in the trilogy. I remember seeing this post on my dash a while ago about how he doesn't fall prey to the Ring because of lust for power or because he's the weakest member of the Fellowship, but rather because his faith in the innate goodness of humanity is so strong that he mistakenly believes his people can harness the power of the Ring to defeat Sauron without being corrupted, and that makes his fate all the more tragic. IIRC the beef he has with Aragorn in the films doesn't come from the source material, and some hardcore Tolkienists weren't happy about it, but I liked seeing their relationship evolve over the course of the film, with Boromir gradually gaining respect for Aragorn and using his final words to swear allegiance to his brother, captain and king. I also loved the little moments where he bonds with the Hobbits, like when he teaches Merry and Pippin swordfighting -- it felt like he saved them out of love rather than just guilt for attacking Frodo.

EDIT: Almost forgot to mention his relationship with Faramir. From the little we know of their relationship, Boromir was a loving and protective big brother and never rubbed his status as his father's favorite in Faramir's face. I love how close they're shown to be in the "Sons of the Steward" scene in the TTT exteded edition.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Re-reading The Fellowship of the Ring for the First Time in Fifteen Years

Ok, so, as we move further into this book, I kind of don't understand why they didn't click with me when I read them at seventeen. I mean, I was DEEEEEEEEEEEP into the Star Wars EU at that point, so maybe it was just genre and writing style whiplash. That said though, I am very much enjoying myself this time around. Let's talk "Three is Company.

So my four key reactions to this chapter were, in the order they arose,

Frodo is the single most relatable hobbit ever. His whole "To tell the truth, he was very reluctant to start, now that it had come to the point" thing is just like...I don't care who you are or when you are, you have felt that at some point in your life. Like...yeah, that hobbit needs a hug and a swift kick in the ass to get him moving.

WHAT THE ACTUAL TITS IS TOLKIEN'S BEEF WITH LOBELIA SACKVILLE-BAGGINS!?!?!? Like yes, she is a deeply unpleasant hobbit, but like...Frodo does not offer her any tea and leaves her the washing up, and frankly that kind of seems unnecessary? Like why is Tolkien a dick to Lobelias?

I had forgotten that Tolkien leaned on characterizations of elves that swing from near-childlike delight and wonder and bluntness ("...and hobbits are so dull," anyone??? Like I was literally raised with better manners than this) to absolute solemnity and wisdom. What I'm saying is that Gildor and his buddies gave me whiplash while Sam was getting starry-eyed.

WHY THE HELL HAS NOBODY TOLD THIS HOBBIT ANYTHING??? Literally they have almost been nabbed by black riders THREE DANG TIMES, and they're still basically in the heart of the Shire. Someone needs to fill these guys in, and frankly I think in Gandalf's oft-remarked-upon absence, then Gildor should probably step up and--as Frodo rightly fucking says--fill in some of the gaps because the vague warnings and ominous allusions are objectively worse than just knowing what is happening.

So with the key reactions sorted, let's walk it back a little and chat through this chapter. I--like every other nerd who existed on the planet in the 2000s--have seen the Peter Jackson film adaptations. I was also tangentially aware that there was a LOT of time compression in those movies, but uh...reading the book is a whole other level of understanding that. There are gaps of literal months and years between "oopsie poopsie, it's the One Ring" and "hey, you probably need to leave the Shire" and "OK FINE, WE'RE GOING." And even once Frodo, Sam, and Pippin get their asses on the road, they're like...meandering. Hanging out. Enjoying the walk.

What I'm saying is, the sense of urgency is utterly nonexistent.

Which is not a judgement, I actually enjoyed the pacing and watching our little hobbit bois be happy hobbit bois, but the feet-nailed-to-the-floor practical side of me was in a screaming match with the -delightedly-kicking-her-feet side of me the entire time I was reading this chapter. Like...guys. The Enemy is LITERALLY ON YOUR DOORSTEP. THEY ALMOST GOT YOU. MAYBE HAUL ASS A BIT??? BUY YOURSELVES SOME TIME AND SPACE???

I'm pretty sure that running into Gildor and his buddies saved their hobbity butts.

Just before we get into Gildor and the company of elves though, I want to take a brief second to just...acknowledge the goddamn WHISPLASH I got when the song movie Pippin sings over Denethor just destroying a roast chicken and cherry tomatoes popped up this early in the trilogy. It's a walking song and it's very hobbity, and I love both versions (book and movie) but for DEEPLY different reasons. The book version is sweeter, a little cheekier, and I imagine it paces because it is indeed a walking song, meant to keep those feet moving. It also is very much Pippin going "bed please!" which is deeply relatable. The movie makes it way weightier, more melancholy. And in the film context, it's also tragic. The shift from "away shall fade" to "all shall fade" is doing a TON of heavy lifting too. I don't have much else about that, really, because in terms of adaptation, that's not so much an adaptation as a recontextualization. And...I like both? Both are good? They're different, and I'm not gonna get bogged down in judging differences, I'm just going to enjoy both versions.

Back to the elves.

Frodo has some social cache with them, given his relationship to Bilbo and his grasp of the elven language, however small. Frodo also goes in for the traditional polite greetings and exchanges, which is all great. That said...

Thank christ that Pippin has no chill, because if he hadn't burst in and gone, "Tell us about the Black Riders," we'd have been doing social graces for literally another few pages. And I'm willing to bet that Frodo might not have actually gotten there, and then the three would not have been taken under the elves' wing, which again, I'm pretty sure saved their halfling asses. So thank goodness for Pippin just cutting through the bullshit and getting the plot moving a little. And he is amply rewarded with just hella good food and a good night's sleep, so all is right in his little hobbit heart.

I might love Pippin. Like, disproportionately.

What I did not love was Gildor. Gildor and his "Then I think it is not for me to say more - lest terror should keep you from your journey," and his "advice is a dangerous gift," and his "is it not enough to know that they are servants of the enemy?" and his "courage is found in unlikely places."

Gildor. My dude. Sweetie, honey, friend. YOU ARE NOT HELPING HERE WITH THE PHILOSOPHIZING AND THE PASSING OF THE BUCK. This is actually how you know Tolkien was a tried and true academic, because you can't get a straight answer to a direct question without being taken through a masterclass in philosophy first.

Like, I'm so happy for you and your education and your erudition, but for fucks sake, if I asked you if the sky was blue, we'd be debating what "blue" is for hours over tea when what I needed was a straight answer so I could plan my day. (I would be a terrible elf, you guys. Just absolutely terrible.)

The best I can say about Gildor is that he names Frodo an Elf-Friend, which I'm willing to bet is going to be beneficial down the road. He also made sure that Frodo, Sam, and Pippin were safe that night, and they got fed. So I guess that's a win.

Overall a fun chapter, and I'm excited to finally catch up with Merry and start planning to bail on the Shire in the next chapter!