#GUYS. I'M SPIRALING
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maybe it's the brain damage from the six months I spent writing a post-BOTW Zelink fic but there's just something so juicy about incorporating an element of memory loss/amnesia into stories....its about learning who you are through the Other, reconciling the Self you Feel you are and the Self that everyone else seems to know. The Self that already died, should have died, with the Self that's here now, raw and half-formed and aching for someone to understand...the power in saying You know more about me than I do, can you hold all these memories for me they're too heavy for me to bear alone....the inherent eroticism of LITERALLY giving your Self to another...
you agree.
#guys i'm spiraling#<me when i'm spiraling#postcards from stupid town#gets even worse when applied to Demon!Kyo because Giyuu. The one tasked with bearing the weight of Kyo's memory...fuckin hates the New Self#or does he?#does he hate that Kyo is a demon or does he hate himself for still being in love with him despite it all#GUYS. I'M SPIRALING#welcome to FUCKING wednesday
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HOUSE OF THE DRAGON — 1.09 "The Green Council" | 2.05 "Regent"
#house of the dragon#hotdedit#aegon ii targaryen#gameofthronesdaily#userhann#userzaynab#useralicia#welighttheway#how we doing tonight guys :) i'm fucking spiraling :))#hotd spoilers#hotd#mine
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Michael jumpscare
#tw eyestrain#it's just a little silly :)#SKSJDIJ#i love him#I can't get him out of my head#michael distortion#michael shelley#the magnus archives#guys I'm only on ep 91 😭#tma#tma fanart#the spiral#tma michael#my art <3
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He's the King of Antiva to me
Inspired by this post by @vigilskeep because they opened my third eye with it.
#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dragon age#viago de riva#da4#dragon age veilguard#dav#dragon age fanart#datv fanart#dragon age the veilguard fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#watch me still don't know what tags people use#this was a sketch first and then I spiraled and it became a study and then I saw Harker's post and thought.#he can get a little crown. as a treat#I have never Ever in my life posted my art Anywhere so#this is very scary!!#how do you guys do this regularly#I'm going to post this before I chicken out lmao#da#damn tumblr really said let's kill the quality#**mine
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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I've had this pose ref saved for a while and the Superman set photos just gave off the same energy 👉🏻👈🏻
The reference is this photo of Katharine Hepburn as Antiope and Colin Keith-Johnston as Theseus in the 1932 play 'The Warrior's Husband' (and I'd love for people to turn into a draw your otp meme pls pls pls this pose is so good)
And also, of course, the Superman (2025) set photos
#superfamilyweek#superman#dcu#clois#lois lane#clark kent#i was actually gonna post this a few days ago but then i found out about the superfamily week#it wasn't made for it but i hope you can accept this humble offering even if it doesn't really fit the prompts#art#digital#fanart#live-action#dc#regular#final#colour#this actually from june when the set photos came out and i just got completely obsessed and went into a clois haze#it all looks so good though!! the whole thing!!!! i'm vibrating with excitement just thinking about it!!!!!!!#if this film isn't good i'm gonna be sooo disappointed you guys have no idea how much i'm looking forward to it#but anyway. ART RAMBLES: as i mentioned on the tags of my last drawing this piece gave me SUCH a headache#i think it's probably cos it was just supposed to be a quick sketch so i used a more stable pencil brush#but then i really liked it so i decided to properly colour it instead of just doing the watercolour thing i usually do for sketches#but with finished pieces i like the lineart to be kinda messy and the sketch to even show through bit#and since i used the more stable brush for the sketch it ended up looking WAY too clean. not like my stuff at all.#so i just started throwing stuff at the wall to see what could make it more interesting. full background! actual lineart! texture layers!#and this here is what i was the happiest with. i don't... love it though. it should be looking way more interesting given the pose#and then i also did the purge girl halfway through this and it looked SO good right out of the bat (pun intended)#so i went a bit into a spiral. did some realistic stuff i'll post soon. and now am trying out a thick black lineart style.#(i'll definitely still use the coloured lines for the sketchy watercolour stuff though. it just looks way too cute)
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so louis walking into the sun was a parallel to louis walking into the sun when lestat turned him but also a parallel to louis wanting to kill himself after claudia's departure to europe and then louis begging armand to stop torturing daniel is a parallel to claudia begging lestat to leave louis alone and then louis saying that he can hear daniel and armand but he can't see them is a parallel to claudia mostly hearing and not seeing louis and lestat fighting and then there's put me in my coffin armand vs put me in my coffin louis louis and then armand carries louis to the coffin bridal style the same way lestat did to louis in s1 and then louis gets in that coffin and experiences severe physical pain as he did the first time he got burned and also after lestat dropped him from the sky and then burned louis drinks armand's blood just as burned claudia drank lestat's blood and then louis tries to distract armand from lestat as claudia tried to distract lestat from louis and then lestat says I love you to louis and screams his name as he did throughout the fight scene with louis and then
#can you tell that I'm spiralling guys#i found that fucking gif!!!!!!!!!!#power of manifesattion#interview with the vampire#iwtv#amc iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#claudia#vampire armand
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An Unsexy Post About Censorship
Sooo...gumroad is shutting down NSFW content sales because of Stripe and Paypal. This is also why Wishtender has been down as well, if you weren't aware. And why Patreon is also cracking down on anything remotely kinky.
(If you're wondering why your favorite FICTIONAL sexual content isn't allowed on most platforms, it's payment processors.)
Please be extra kind to anyone who works with NSFW content right now, whether it be art, writing, audio, photos or video. Whether it be tasteful erotica, or the kinkiest BDSM porn you can think of, we're all in the crosshairs right now.
And, judging by trends from these past few years, this is only going to get worse.
Support NSFW creators where you can, whether by tipping or buying our content (where you still can) or just helping boost content on sites where algorithms want to drown us out.
Call representatives where you can and complain about payment processors acting as arbiters of what YOU are and aren't allowed to pay for and enjoy.
This may be about porn right now, but censorship of this caliber doesn't just stop with porn. Any transgressive (read: non-conservative) media is fair game.
Fight against it where you can. Support creators where you can.
Art is important. Reflections of our sexuality are important. We don't want a world where people aren't free to make or see the things they love and enjoy.
#nyxrambles#Warning: I'm going to get kind of grim in the tags so peace out of you have to.#This bums me out so fucking hard!#I have artist friends who are struggling because their content suddenly goes against these stupid fucking guidelines!#I'm going to have to take my stuff off of Gumroad even though it was previously allowed!#It's hard to not feel like everything is just spiraling toward fascism sometimes yanno?#I am usually opposed to slippery slope arguments but the goal of moral conservativism is to destroy everything that isn't in line with it.#They will not stop until the world reflects their narrow ideals. Like...that's the whole point of it!#Sorry guys I'm just having a rough one.#Between this and being sick for months I'm getting pretty fucking Done.#I'll be okay but I'm not going to pretend it isn't hard and scary.
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there's somethin about maid eito and bookworm yakumo
After i drew ⤴
i woke up the next day and said, NO. I NEED BALANCE!!!!
theeeere we go
#theyre sio exstupido#maid eiden walks into the room and i fall to my knees in supplication#anything u want kittymaideito. i'll sayt the stupid chants over my omuyrice. i'll do a little dance for u#yeah. so i get the . yakumo losing his life savings to his fave charming maid#it's a horrible addiction. this maid cafe habit of yakumo's#in a universe where they don't yet know each other#and yakumo falls into a spiral of throwing all his cash at eidream#once eiden finds out that yaku's entered Maladaptive Territory with the visits#you know. like. the man's actually struggling to keep his finances afloat bc he's too busy buying out eiden's entire stock of photos#then eiden will do that 😬 my guy i'm worried about u . like. i'm not worth spending your tuition money. pls.#cocoa is all: yeah... as much as i want the cafe to be successful idk how i feel about customers getting evicted bc of us#aster is all: YOU FOOLS!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU TELL A LOYAL CUSTOMER TO *STOP* SPENDING?!?!?!?#cocoa and aster debating in the back room about the ultimate goal of customer Happiness vs squeezing these simps for all they're worth#yakuei#nu carnival eiden#nu carnival yakumo
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the eye: don't fuck around, do find out.
the lonely: don't fuck around, don't find out.
the spiral: fuck around and desperately try to find out as your mind unravels, incapable of comprehending the beautiful paradoxes of the throat of deceit.
the stranger: fuck around and find out. (it will skin you.)
the corruption: fuck around, don't find out. do meet some worms though. lots of them. mmmmm worms.
the buried: you cannot fuck around. you cannot find out. there is so much dirt on top of you.
the dark: you really can't do much but fuck around. good luck finding out shit in there though.
the desolation: fuck around and find out. (fire and agony edition.)
the end: fuck around and you will not be on this mortal plane long enough to find out.
the flesh: the ultimate fuck around and find out. what can a human body really do? you're about to see!
the hunt: fuck around and find out how long you have left to exist as you are chased through darkened woods. you cannot see what is behind you. you will find out.
the slaughter: fuck around and find out, you've got this flamethrower for a goddamn reason.
the vast: don't fuck around, don't find out. you couldn't if you wanted to. same as the dirt guy, you're in this fucking sky and there's nothing you can do about it.
the web: don't fuck around, don't find out. or do. either way, is it really you that's doing anything at all?
#the magnus archives#the hunt tma#the lonely tma#the flesh tma#the eye tma#the slaughter tma#the web tma#the end tma#the corruption tma#the spiral tma#the vast tma#the stranger tma#the buried tma#tma#tag yourself#personally I'm a bug guy#the stranger and the spiral both go hard as hell too though
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Video clips: Liam at Cardiff, Lock the Box, Oasis at iTunes, Liam at Rockfield
#half the world away#diamond in the dark#while obviously i don't pretend to know with certainty whom noel's speaking to in HTWA#i have a hard time believing liam would choose a noel-sung song and repeatedly dedicate it to noel in the days before their reunion#unless liam believed and maybe with good reason that HTWA#is about the two of them or could be MADE to be about the two of them with enough effort on liam's part#also that itunes camera team deserves an award 'cause cutting over to the back of liam's head as noel sings about warning signs? brutal#this guy's in love with you#things#2024#2009#noel interview#lyric analysis#others on nl#liam on noel#1994#2022#noel on liam#liam interview#both interview#lock the box#comin' on strong#2006#2017#itunes 09#i don't know what anyone else would even make of this#i'm vacillating between being fine with it and being embarrassed at how it spiraled from my original plan#which was just to compare the young/old lyrics to the liam interview from the face#then suddenly i'm fucking giffing diamond in the dark and looking up a bacharach bio on some sketch website
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By PEPSI2330
#I was going through a depressive spiral and then someone on discord sent this and it pulled me straight out.#I don't know why but I'm in love with it and I need all of you guys to at least see it too#igusa haruka#blue archive
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I am always thinking TimJay thoughts related to the fact that they have matching scars from getting their throats slit, and not only that, but Jason slit Tim's throat first in an attempt to threaten Bruce, where Tim was nothing more than a pawn for Jason to use to emotionally manipulate Bruce.
batman (1940) #618
And then, just a little while later when Jason is trying to confront Bruce and do his whole dramatic moment with Joker in UTRH, and Bruce slits Jason's throat to stop Jason from killing the Joker.
batman (1940) #650
It makes me so Unwell. They have literal matching scars. When do you think Jason realizes it? When do you think, while running his fingers over the scar he has to always remind himself that Bruce was willing to jeopardize Jason's own life just to save the Joker, Jason realized it was the same scar *he* gave Tim? And does it click for him too, that he and Tim are a lot alike? Being used as pawns in Bruce's game? And for the first time he maybe understands Tim Drake, just another kid trying to get Bruce's attention and approval? And Jason did to Tim exactly what Bruce did to Jason? And that's part of what spurns on Jason's obsession with Tim, trying to "save" Tim from Bruce's ideology?
When they finally get together does it make Jason even more possessive? He put that mark on Tim and now he has his own to match. It's the closest to being understood and loved he's ever felt when Tim runs his fingers over Jason's scar at the same time Jason touches Tim's. Mirrors of each other, in a fun, fucked up little way.
#jaytim#timjay#batcest#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#necrotic festerings#i would've included the proper panel where the batarang slits jasons throat but i've gotta be so honest with you#i can't fucking take that panel seriously. the art is *so* bad. why does jason's face look like that.#it ruins what should be one of the most important moments in jason and bruce's history. everytime i look at it i either laugh or cry#anyway it makes me unwell that jason scars tim first bc i usually see ppl mix this moment up with the titans tower moment#which would make it post-utrh#but no it's from batman: hush which comes first which is so much more fun for me when it comes to jason coping#like first you have to handle knowing the man you saw as a father bataranged your throat to save the guy who killed you#and then you realized he incidently gave you a scar that now matches the scar you gave the replacement you fucking hate?#i'd also be so unwell about it i'd go beat tim's ass at titans tower.#in my timjay little mind this is the true state of jason's complicated weird feelings about tim#the realization they have the same scar forces him to reevaluate his gut reaction to tim's existence#and thus his spiral into obsession and testing tim then trying to recruit tim begins.#i did in fact post this instead of writing fanfic don't mind it. i'm having a time. i'm also avoiding doing dishes.#i like ships besides timjay i SWEAR they're just on the mind as of recent
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The thing that sucks sometimes about transition envy is that, I guess you almost expect yourself to "grow out" of it the more you transition. I used to feel so much envy, and it was something I hoped would stop once I transitioned medically, and while it's absolutely less frequent... man, when I experience transition envy, it's still just as bitter a cocktail as I remember. It can be hard to move past that, and almost... resent the other person/s, but what helped me is knowing that the person you're envying isn't specifically trying to make you, personally, feel like absolute shit. Just as you can't always help what you are envious about in other trans people, they can't help that they have traits or transition experiences or opportunities you do not have, you know? And absolutely, it sucks. But it's something that helped me because then it's a reminder that the world isn't Out To Get Me, you feel?
I think a lot of us can relate to the experience of transition envy, and it's shameful to admit to it, I suppose. It's hard to admit to envy in general, but it's important to not be judgemental about yourself. Your transition is as unique and beautiful and worthy as literally everyone else's and I hope you remember that forever
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#dysphoria tw#i'm not calling this gender envy because i think it's more... specific i guess?#and i suppose i just don't like the term personally lol#like the amount of trans guys i'm following that i am envious of? embarrassing.#and it's fine when i'm not spiraling with dysphoria but when i am???? 🫥🫥🫥#at this point i feel very little envy over cis people and even cis guys (unless it's for specific reasons)#my 'gender envy' is geared towards other trans people and that's a unique thing i guess
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o wait before i start posting any pics.. i was thinking that maybe.. you guys could help me liquify this gender some more by switching up what you call me.... DON'T GET ME WRONG I LOVE . LOVE LOVE LOVE WHEN YOU USE HE/HIM AND JUST OVERALL LIKE MORE MASC STUFF THAT'S SOOO MMMMMMMMMSO FUCKING GOOD like i don't get to feel that irl at all so it really does make me so happy but i've just been thinking abt TRYING to switch it up more yk? does this even make sense...... . hhhh anyway i might won't even like it and i'll want to just go back to hehim but i wanna try... JUST TO SWITCH IT UP.
#i think the only term that is incredibly questionable is “queen” lmao#idk i have some personal beef with that one#MAN I REALLY MIGHT JUST DELETE THIS IN LIKE FIVE MINUTES#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#WHY DON'T I KNOW WHAT I WANT#i'm not asking you to fully drop the he him but just maybe.. use she her every once in a while..#I'M GONNA EXPLODE WHY IS THIS THE WEIRDEST POST EVER TO MAKE WHAT IS GENDER CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME#btw if anybody happens to be wondering why i don't just use they/them#iii just don't feel anything towards those#personally#like they don't make me feel like anything while he him and she her are more like yes:3333#does.. does that even make sense#oh my god#there are question marks flying around my head#i read this fic the other day#which is in my drafts i need to add tags to it#but the op just.. like made my brain grow two sizes#bc they made the reader genderfluid and then proceeded to use both “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” throughout the fic and i just#HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#how do i .. get that#asghdhsaghdasghdshagdhgas#GUYS LOOK I'M GONNA SPIRAL I'M JUST GONNA HIT POST#ENOUGH#mayor of loserville#mickey vs gender#10 - 17#I'M LOSING AGAIN OHHH FUCK OFF
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posting this for an audience of two
#me and friend cooking up an au where mel gets out of the torture spiral early and goes to the commune to intercept ambessa#but is the one cait finds instead of vi#let me put you guys ON#the inherent eroticism of “you are who i'm supposed to be”#caitlyn kiramman#caitmel#mel medarda#arcane#caitlyn x mel#arcane fanart#mine#🪄 wizard art
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