#GODDDDD. THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS

[nyxire]

so i finished orv.

[makotonaegiunderstander]

do you ever go do autism crazy for something you can feel it in ur chest. like it’s hard to breathe almost it’s making you gasp for breath and jump around physically. got an adrenaline rush thinking abt Kirigiri.

[sharp-tooths]

Finished reading the Trigun manga. I feel like some one tied me up and hung me off a cliff before just straight up leaving before i could even process what was happening

[skitskatdacat63]

Frank Sinatra with "My Way" in the title 🤝 making me want to crumple up on the floor

[infizero]

ACK. oh no listening to fresh start was a bad idea

[kavehater]

thoughts utc :

It’s a little weird to me that some people want others who are the complete opposite to them because to me at least since as long as I can remember the things I wanted from others I would emulate it within myself, I would meticulously work to be the best version that in my eyes a human can be. Like if I was attracted to intelligence and I am, then I would work incredibly hard to be intelligent. If I was attracted to emotional maturity and sensitivity then I would literally ensure I am exactly those things, to the best of my ability of course. And while I am not perfect and I do hate fundamental things about myself, which were forced upon me to hate, not that I hate those qualities that I tried to perfect into myself, the essence of what I’m trying to emulate remains.

It’s interested me that people wish for someone their exact opposite, if that’s the case, change is very much free, why not be what you wish for a partner or friend to be like ? It’s confusing because the issue I’ve had for so long is that why does nobody notice the little things I do the ones I meticulously pedantically plan to do for a very explicit precise reason. It’s annoying. It’s so infuriating in fact. Sometimes I wish I could just grab the person and sit them down and just explain exactly why every single action I do is purposeful and intended. Why every single word and I do not even joke here or over exaggerate. Every single word I say has a meaning even silly ones like the or and or whatnot. They are filtered and selected with care because sometimes even tho the other might not recognise that a simple word like that could change the tone a little I do use the most preferable one possible. But nobody notices that. It’s annoying. Not because I care too much but because I feel unappreciated. Truthfully I don’t think anyone realises how much I care how much I invest etc. ik lots of people say they’re a yearner they care they’re pedantic but I swear to god none of you are like this whatsoever. No one. And if I find someone like this you bet I’m gonna propose to them asap 😭🙏 it’s like being surrounded by people who haven’t gained consciousness. Like they’re living in their own stupid bubble. It’s so annoying ugh. And when ppl think I missed a cue no the fuck I did not. That too is purposeful. It’s to teach said person to stfu or rethink or it’s meant to be a moment of repercussion for their actions. I am very much for justice and fairness so if I feel someone is being an imbecile with me you bet I’ll discretely try to put them in their place all the while acting silly and like I dunno anything. Or laughing about things or acting confused. Because yall suck hard and are lowkey a little stupid. Scratch that not a little but a LOT.

That is why I absolutely go insane when someone tries to rebut me or refute any argument I put out. It’s like wtf did you just tell me. Like do you even know how much prep and logic and reason and meaning goes into what I say and do ? While you pea brain just spout things out of your ass ✋😭 literally stfu do NAWT speak to me with your stupidity rn I literally explode (in my head) all the while trying to keep composure and act very nice and caring etc. it’s so NDIWKSKSK cause why are ppl so stupid. Why are they insufferable and dumb. Literally why like I thought humans were meant to be smart but it’s like I’m talking to someone who came out half baked and deformed. Or they were dropped as a child. JDIWWKAKAOQK

[intertexts]

<< so ive had these saved since u posted them because holy shit. hi. roswell apollo dodgeball momence. AS SOON as u made the rose lalonde post i was like. oh god oh fuck. how do i reblog this without giving them any hints. oh god. oh no. they dont even know . oh ashe winters youre so rose lalonde coded welcome to your grimdark mode! yippee!

also. smiles. full trickster art as well :) hi i am holding your shoulders so u dont tremble out of ur skin like a chihuahua. giving u one of those thunder jackets. how are u feeling. how was prime defenders season 1 was it fun. was it good. are you mentally preparing yourself for season 2. oh god

um. yeah. forever angry that they still put mark in jail after that. what did he do to deserve this (<< the crimes) . free my man his kid just got possessed by the same thing that killed his wife. ohhhhh i go fucking crazy thinking about between-season mark winters. he was unconscious for all of that. who tells him? he doesnt even know . he just wakes up in fucking prison apparently

im literally ill dude im gonna be fucking sick

[dipperscavern]

your cregan thoughts changed my life. They are literally canon idgaf…

how do you feel about the stark men and their possessiveness 🫠🫠🫠 Because i knowww they don’t play about their women, especially cregan ohhhhh myyy goddddd. do you think they’re prone to jealousy… Lots to think about. lots to ponder.

POSSESSIVE STARK MEN!! POSSESSIVE STARK MEN I SAID!! i’m very very glad u enjoy my cregan thoughts, thank u sm for this delicious ask <33

as we’ve established, stark men are gentlemen. not just the starks, but northmen themselves don’t play about their women. and there’s also a difference between possessiveness & jealousy… lord so many thoughts. so many things to ponder.

okay, so, as for cregan, he’s very assured. very confident & unwavering in his loyalty to you, and your loyalty to him. cregan can get possessive, but he mainly thinks people ogling over you is funny, because he’s completely confident in your devotion to each other. you usually make your way over to him yourself, and he’ll pull you in by your hips as he teases about the man hitting on you. unless he sees them making you uncomfortable or overstepping — he doesn’t tolerate that. making his way over to pry you away… but honeslty sometimes someone just gets under his skin & he just wants you all to himself. maybe he can get a little jealous…. he does jest in jealousy sometimes though. i could see him wanting your attention. pulling you toward him & away from whatever had your attention if he was feeling particularly needy, jokingly muttering a-

“Come here, you’ve got me jealous.”

robb is so possessive & jealous nobody speak to me. nobody SPEAK to me right now. it’s just so innate/natural for him, you could be talking to anyone and his hands would twitch with the need to pull you away. he really does try and control himself, but he lets it slip sometimes when bedding you.

“You’re mine, yeah? C’mon, wanna hear you say it.”

it’s especially bad during the war, because he’s so frustrated all the time. his emotions are at an all time high, and he can’t find it in himself to try and mask how close he wants you to him & how far away he wants you from other people. “Will you just-“ & he grabs you by your cloak, pulling you to him. “Come here.” he doesn’t have time to hide his emotions when there’s so much on his plate. just let him have what he wants, honestly. 🙄

jon is quietly possessive. he’s never really had anything of his own before, he wants you alllll to himself. i don’t think he’s really jealous, unless you’re pushing his buttons on purpose. the prospect of you being his turns him on sooooo badly, though. you could be talking about how a man of the nights watch hit on you, just murmuring a small-

“Wasn’t interested. ‘M yours, anyway.”

hearing u say that.. and yep! you’re getting it tongiht! his eyes darken and everything before stalking closer to you to press his lips to yours tee hee. wait do y’all think he would… mmm. deep, slow thrusts while telling you-

“Say it again.”

[whatupcherry]

oh so when i go insane

[selfloverrrrrr]

Stalker gojo pls 🙏🏼

Stalker ~

Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, Noncon, Kidnapping, physically and emotional abuse, biting, size difference, Yandere Gojo, stalking, protective, jealous, obsessive, manipulative....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Masterlist

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

I work in a cafe. I live alone in my apartment. My apartment was in an empty area. That's because that's the only appartment I got in my range. I don't have too much money to afford a good apartment .

Gojo Satoru was famous person in Tokyo. Everyone knows him. But nobody knows what he does. Is a good person or a bad person? Nobody knows. But everyone knows that he's a dengerous person. I also know his name. But never seen him. So how can I know he's stalking me...?

All of this started from the cafe. I was working. Suddenly the bell rang. I looked at the door. A tall handsome man entered. His eyes were blue, white hair. He was wearing a sunglass. His outfit was black. He came in and took a sit.

I went to his table and bow down."what would you like to have sir..?" I asked. "Nothing much... just a latte please " he replied with a charming smile. "Ok sir " I said and took his order. "And what's your name?" I asked. "Hmm?" He raised his eyebrows. "Your name....to write on the cup" I said. "Ohh... yeah.... it's Gojo Satoru " he replied. A beat skipped my heart as head his name. "Ok" I said and quickly went out of there.

I went in the maid counter. My hands were shaking. Did I just met and talked with Tokyo's most famous man?! Fuck I've heard that guy is scary... I shouldn't get too close to him. I thought. Then I bring him his order. "Here's your order sir" I said. "Oh... thanks" he replied with a smile.

That was the first time I saw him. Since then he was almost a regular coustomer. He came in the cafe almost two or three times in a week. He knew my name now. But I don't even try to get too close. I just do my work. Cause I don't want to get in any kind of trouble.

After few days... It was a normal day. Gojo came in cafe again. And he never ordered anything else... just latte. That was he's regular. So I don't even have to ask him his order. I bring him his order then went back to the counter. After finishing his latte he he went to pay the bill. "Here's the money" he said and handed me. " Thank you sir... please do come again" I said. "Umm...y/n... can I talk to you please?" He asked. "Sure" I replied. "I think you're really cute... can I have your number?" He asked with a smile. My heart skipped a beat. " I-i.... actually sir... I'm not interested... I'm s-sorry " I replied with shaking voice. His smile faded away. "Do you have any boyfriend?" He asked in serious tone. "N-No... it's not about having boy-" I was saying "do you like someone?" He cut me off with again his serious tone. "N-No " I replied. Suddenly his smile came back on his face. "It's okey...see you soon.... bye " he said. 'fuck I almost thought that he's gonna kill me' I thought. "B-bye sir"I replied.

Gojo's POV

I was walking on the road. I saw a cafe. I've never went to the cafe. I don't know what came in my mind I went in the cafe. I went to a empty table. A maid came to me. When I looked at her....GODDDDD!!!! IS SHE A FUCKING ANGEL?! She asked my name. She looked scared when she heard my name. I smirked at myself. Is she scared of me like those other peoples...? Well you don't have to be scared darling. I like you. I have fallen in love with you.... and when I tell myself something as mine... I make that mine...In. Any. Cost.

I have a great obsession with her. But never let anyone know that. Not anyone. I always stalk her everywhere.

I went to my room. I grabbed the door knob and opened it. I opened the door and went inside. I smirked at the view infront of me. That room's wall was full with y/n's pictures. Her pictures that I took every time I stalked her. I love her and I want her. I looked at the table in that room. I went to the laptop and opened it. I started playing all the footage of those cameras I set all over y/n's house. She's in her bathroom. I've seen her body so many times before. But God! I never get tired. "soon gonna feel that body, darling" I whispered.

A few days later. I went to the cafe again. Today I asked her for her number. But she rejected?! I asked her if she had a boyfriend or if likes someone. I know she doesn't but still I asked. She said no. I smiled. 'so she wants the hard way,huh?.... Fine!' I told myself and leave the cafe.

Y/n's POV

I just closed the cafe. It was dark at night and there was no one around to be seen. I was walking quietly when suddenly someone spoke. "I think its not good for a beautiful girl like you walk all alone at this hour. would you like me to take you home?" The voice said. When I looked beside me. It was Gojo.

He Smiled creepily at me as I notice a shadow of a knife on his hip. "Im a very gentleman person... you know and you don't need to be scared of me. Im just trying to help you get home." He said. My heart was pounding. I know he's a dengerous man... and I really don't want any trouble. "T-T-Thank you.....but I don't n-need your help" I said as I tried to walk first.

He starts to approach me. "So you rather choose walking alone than come with me? Dont you think you will be a easy target for someone to attack?" He said. I looked at the knife in his pocket. "Oh the knife..? Are you scared of that???" He said as he pulled out the knife from his pocket and threw it on the road. " I don't need any knife to have you " he said. And I looked at him confusedly. He suddenly put a cloth on my mouth and dragged me in his car.

When my eyes open again I was in my bedroom. But there wasn't any clothes on me. I started panicking. I looked beside me then I saw Gojo infront of me. He was taking off his clothes. I was about to get off the bed when Gojo grabbed my hand and pulled me harshly towards him. My back was on the bed and he climbed on top of me. " Where do you think you are going....huh??? " He said with a smirk. his hand slowly reaching up from my inner thigh. " Why don't you just relax darling..." he said and his hand reached my core. He pushed his middle and ring finger inside and started thursting in and out. "G-gojo stop" I moaned loudly. "Oh... You liked that?" He smirked at me.

He started thursting his finger in and out harshly. Looking at me and smiling like a psycho which make me froze in fear. "You like getting fucked by me right???? That's why you are squeezing my fingers like that!" He whispered in my ear. "S-stop....p-please.." I begged. He looked at me again. He paused his fingers. "Why did you rejected me huh? Do you know how much I love you? I stalked you everywhere you go.... I've cameras all over your house...I loveed you these much and you rejected me???...If I got you pragnent then you can't resist me right???!!!!" He said in a low voice.

"N-no.... n-no.... I don't want that... please" I begged him. He didn't even listen to me. I tried to push his chest but nothing. Gojo started licking on my nipple. He was being a tease. I moaned. He continued his teasing licking and sucking on my nipple. With his one hand he grabbed my other boob and squeezed it roughly. I scremed so loudly.

I tried to get off from the bed but he grabbed my leg and pulled me again in that place. He grabbed his dick stroked it two or three times then line it with my entrence. I began to panic. "Gojo Gojo .... please no .... G-gojo please no... Don't do this again please!!!" I begged him and tears started falling from my eyes but he didn't listen. "Call me Satoru.... You should call me by the first name, baby" he said kissing my cheeks.

Gojo pushed his whole length in one slide and I scremed with pain. He didn't even give me time to adjust his size and started thursting in and out roughly. I was screming loudly. His huge dick was giving me too much pain. He started giving me hickeys on my neck and chest. His thursting getting faster and harder. "This .... This is mine.... I wouldn't.... I wouldn't let anyone take it from me!!!!" He said between moans. My whole body was shaking. He was moaning too. The way his dick was touching my g-spot make my back arch. It didn't take much time and I came. As I came that smirk again played on his lips.

He was still thursting roughly. I felt his cock pulsing inside me. I tried to push him away with all of my strength." Ughh...no no no no...ahhhhhh...no please no....ahhhhhh..... n-not ahhhh.....not inside... please" I begged him. He grabbed my throat and chocked me down to the bed. Within a minute he came inside me I could feel his seed inside me. He pulled out and whispered in my ear with a smirk "I'm sure.... you'll be carrying my child". He whispered and fall beside me taking deep breaths.

" You are mine and just fucking mine. Don't ever dare to think of anyone else for a moment. Or else you know damn well what I'm gonna do." He whispered in my ear.

Give me your requests guys....

I love when you give me your requests 💕

[hearts4hughes]

ECHOES OF LOVE | MARK ESTAPA

mark estapa x fem!reader

summary: in which reader confesses her love for her best friend— oops.

warnings: angst w/ happy ending, reader and mark both being blinded by love, nothing else!!

author note: my first writing after what feels like forever. oh my goddddd!! i have months of ideas and thoughts for more writings on the way. i haven’t done first person writing in forever, but i honestly love it!!

The University of Michigan had been my dream school since freshman orientation; Umich felt made for me. Yet, it wasn’t the only thing capturing my heart during those college years. Environmental Science class introduced me to Mark, and it wasn’t just about the subject matter. Mark, a walking ray of sunshine, entered a room like a force of nature, captivating everyone with his vibrant energy. Engaging conversations and lively class discussions made Mark the embodiment of an unforgettable college experience. It only took him two classes to claim the seat next to me, uninvited but eventually charming his way into my world.

Amidst my journey at Umich and with Mark, an opportunity to study abroad in Italy emerged. Excitement coursed through my veins, but it was tinged with a bittersweet undercurrent. Studying abroad meant a semester without seeing Mark, and my heart ached at the realization. The palpable truth lingered—I had feelings for him.

The day before leaving for Italy was spent entirely with Mark. We recounted memories, gossiped, and held each other. An emotional undercurrent hinted at something more than platonic love. In a moment of uncertainty and sadness, I confessed my love for Mark. The silence that followed my confession echoed in my ears as he stared at me with wide eyes. I had read the situation wrong, and tears brimmed in my eyes as I stormed out of his dorm.

The next morning, I vowed to leave the hurt and agony in Michigan and treat Italy as a fresh start. Italy became a sanctuary, a place where I could do as I pleased without worrying about the boy who rejected my love proposal. Now, sitting in the small, claustrophobic plane, dread overshadowed my return to the real world. Thoughts of making a scene to ground the plane lingered, as four months of studying abroad in Italy felt like pure bliss—warm weather, Italian boys, and zero drama. However, the sweet sounds of Taylor Swift couldn’t coax the cacophony of my racing thoughts. How to make a 12-hour flight even longer?

MARK: Hope Italy treated you well. We need to talk.

My hands trembled as I reread the message, the digital words carrying a weight that mirrored the turbulence within me. The plane had landed mere minutes ago, and as much as I dreaded my return to Michigan, a strange sense of comfort enveloped me the moment I stepped off the aircraft. As I navigated through the airport’s hustle, Mark’s message echoed in my mind, creating a symphony of worry and anticipation.

The journey from the airport to my dorm was a blur, the cityscape outside the window a mere backdrop to the whirlwind of thoughts in my head. The prospect of facing Mark, unresolved emotions lingering like a specter, fueled a mixture of anxiety and a glimmer of hope.

He wants to let me know how he feels. Is that good or bad? What if he found someone else? What if he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore? What if… I mentally stop myself from spiraling down that certain rabbit hole.

With a heavy heart, I approached my dorm building. The door creaked open, revealing the dimly lit room adorned with posters and decorations. The message from Mark burned brightly on my phone, demanding acknowledgment. The empty bed next to mine indicated my roommate Miley’s absence. As much as I missed her, part of me was relieved to be alone. I read the note on my desk written in her neat handwriting. She wouldn’t be home for the rest of the night. Good.

MARK: Where are you? We need to talk.

The urgency in his words heightened the tension, and I hesitated, almost responding, but I couldn't muster up the courage to press send.

MARK: Y/N, if you're trying to ghost me, at least turn your read receipts off.

Shit. I silently cursed the advanced technology of iPhones.

Y/N: What do you want, Mark?

MARK: To talk, we need to talk.

Y/N: Oh, now you want to talk. Seems convenient.

MARK: I'm serious, Y/N.

I scoffed as I read his final text message. Who's he to say when I need to talk to him? I could ignore him for the rest of my life, and it wouldn't even bother me—scratch that; I'd miss him more and more every day.

Y/N: Fine. Let's meet at Logan’s around 7:00.

Y/N: Seriously, Mark, don't make me waste my time.

~

I take a deep breath, trying to shake off the unease that settled in my stomach. Logan’s, the pizza place around the corner, wasn’t fancy, but it held a certain charm. Memories of late-night pizza runs with Mark flooded my mind.

I grab my phone, checking the time for the fifth time in ten minutes. Everything feels wrong, from the headache-inducing bright lights to the fact that Mark is ten minutes late. The air inside Logan’s is thick with anticipation, and I can’t escape the nagging thoughts that something significant is about to happen.

The door chimes as Mark finally enters, a disheveled look on his face. I try to read his expression, but his eyes remain elusive. We exchange awkward greetings, and the atmosphere tightens with every passing second.

“Hi,” Mark says, gesturing to an empty booth. The weight of his words hangs in the air as I comply. The vinyl seats are cold against my skin, and the tension in the room is palpable.

Mark fidgets with his hands, avoiding eye contact. I want to break the silence, to demand answers, but fear keeps me silent. Finally, he takes a deep breath, meeting my gaze.

“I didn’t handle your confession well,” he admits, his voice strained. “I panicked, and I’m sorry.”

His words hang in the air, and my heart races with a mix of relief and frustration. The apology doesn’t erase the hurt, but it opens a door to understanding.

“Mark, I know what I did was stupid. I ruined a perfectly fine friendship for my selfish feelings,” I sighed, shame laced my words.

“Y/N,”

“No, Mark,” I interrupted. “You don’t need to pity me, I get it.”

“Wait, let me finish.” He spoke, reaching over and grabbing my hands in his. “Y/N, I didn’t handle what you said well because I was scared. I was scared because I’ve never felt so much for a person.” He huffs, eyes filled with sincerity and care. “I love you, Y/N. I’ve loved you ever since I saw you. I can’t even put into words how you make me feel. These four months without you have been pure torture. Ask any of the boys, I’ve been a complete and utter mess.”

His admission hangs in the air, and I feel a whirlwind of emotions—shock, joy, and a lingering sense of pain. The rollercoaster of feelings leaves me momentarily speechless.

“Mark, why didn’t you say something before I left for Italy?” I finally manage to utter, my voice a mix of vulnerability and frustration.

“I was scared too, Y/N. Scared that you wouldn’t feel the same way or that it would ruin our friendship,” Mark explains, his gaze unwavering. “But the truth is, I can’t imagine my life without you. I couldn’t let this continue without being honest about my feelings.”

“Mark, I… I don’t know what to say,” I admit, still processing the whirlwind of emotions. “I thought you hated me.”

“I could never hate you, Y/N/N,” he brought his hand up to your face, caressing your cheek. “I’m stuck with you forever, whether you like it or not.”

I giggled, tears of joy spilling over and flooding my face. “I like that idea.”

[jjkamochoso]

Hii again! Another request for Feitan x Reader, kind of like the last one. Reade who loves sweet and cute things, gothic lolita, but specifically for this part wants to take Feitan shopping for a matching outfit! He never really changes and she doesn't want to force him, but she's ecstatic when he agrees!! I was thinking something to match her lolita style they could go looking for a Ouji style outfit! He'd look so cute and handsome like that!! Thank you! ♡

I. Am. LIVING. For your request oh my goddddd thank you!!! As a fellow fashion lover this topic is making my heart sing with joy!!🥰 he definitely would look so amazing in the Ouji style!! I didn’t know that was a thing until you mentioned it and now, after much research, I’m obsessed😭😭 Thanks again for the request, I hope you love it!!!

Fashion Forward Feitan

Fluff

Feitan Portor x f!reader

Warnings: small mentions of violence

“Come on, please? It’ll be fun!”

You looked at Feitan with the biggest doe eyes you could muster. You were trying to convince him to go shopping with you once again since it seemed like he enjoyed himself the last time you two perused a boutique together. This time, though, it would be his turn to bring home a new outfit.

“You no think my clothes fit?” he chided, trying to avoid your gaze because he knew you were giving him that look—the one he could barely resist.

“No, they fit fine,” you said, “but I wanted to take you somewhere special. There’s this store that carries a style I think you would look great in.”

“I look bad now?” he asked, his hands tucked in his pockets.

You narrowed your eyes. “Are you being difficult on purpose?”

Feitan smiled mischievously. “Maybe.”

“Okay then,” you sighed wistfully, turning your head toward the floor in mock sadness, “guess I’ll go to the store all by myself. Walk the streets… alone.”

You peeked up at Feitan who was back to his usual of showing no emotions at your words.

You made another attempt at getting a response. “All by my lonesome. In that great, big, dangerous world out there…”

Nothing.

“I’ll go try and pick something out for you. And then if I bring it back and it doesn’t fit, I’ll have to venture out again myself to return it…”

Feitan was wholly unamused by your antics.

“You finished?” he barked. You nodded, anxiously biting your bottom lip in hopes that he was about to agree to your little adventure.

“Good. You talk too much. I go, but only to keep eye on you. You troublemaker.”

You broke out into a smile and clapped your hands, happy that you convinced him. As you ran to find your purse so you could leave, your frilled skirt swirled around you in a mesmerizing dance of satin and tulle and Feitan was so distracted by you that he didn’t register your soft hand on his arm until much too late for someone with his quick reaction time.

“You ready?” you questioned a second time as your first attempt at gaining his attention failed, Feitan seemingly daydreaming. He didn’t respond verbally but headed outside, your hand falling from his arm as he left. You were saddened by the loss of touch between you two, missing the comfort of feeling him. Little did you know, the man many steps ahead of you was feeling the same way.

Your platform shoes clacked against the pavement in your attempt to catch up with the speediest Phantom Troupe member.

“You don’t even know where we’re going,” you grumbled, out of breath when you finally were able to walk side by side with Feitan.

“Not my fault you slow.”

“I talk too much and I’m slow. Anything else you’d like to compliment me on today?”

You look pretty, he thought, but he’d sooner cut out his own tongue before admitting that out loud.

“Let’s see. You passive aggressive.”

You practically growled. “You’re about to make me aggressive aggressive.”

Feitan shivered with excitement at the thought. Since you were usually upbeat and unusually kind at all times (traits he had come to love about you), it still would be a real treat for him to see you unhinged. However, you were already back to your happy-go-lucky self, squealing in delight when a certain shopfront entered your view.

“Here it is!” you exclaimed, your eyes sparkling. Now steps behind you, Feitan walked through the door and furrowed his brow. What was this place? He had never seen fashions like this in his life. There were waistcoats and collared shirts galore, chains and jewelry glittering on displays all around him. As you scurried ahead, already deep diving into the racks, he sauntered behind you, overwhelmed by all the choices in front of him.

“This style is called Ouji,” you explained, picking through shirts. “It’s like the more masculine version of my style, which is gothic Lolita.”

“It’s… different,” he said, but you knew he didn’t mean it in a bad way. It was something he had probably never seen before—and you were happy to introduce him to it!

“What do you think about this?”

You held up a white collared shirt with a ruffle on the front. Feitan shook his head, scrunching his nose under his cowl.

“No white. Stains easy.”

“Good call,” you replied, hanging it up. “Ooh! How about this?”

You plucked another shirt from the rack, this time black with a high neck and long sleeves sporting buttons at the cuff. He looked it over and nodded in agreement.

“That’s a good start,” you said. “What size are you?”

Feitan just shrugged. He didn’t shop much, nor did he pay attention to sizing. Phinks usually brought things home for him and they magically fit.

“Small maybe?” you mused. “I’ll get a medium too in case you want a roomier fit.”

You handed him the two shirts and busied yourself in the pants section while he moseyed over to the accessories. His attention was caught by a jacquard vest with long tails, inky in color, with large buttons down the front. He hummed in amusement as he studied the piece, wondering if it would go with whatever you were picking out. Not caring to put more thought into it, he grabbed one off the rack and walked back to you.

“I went with black breeches since those are easiest to style and- Oh! Look at you, already getting to the fun part of accessorizing.”

You gave him a big smile, happy to see him enjoying himself.

“You should go try this stuff on,” you told him, leading the way to the dressing rooms.

“You can use this room,” the store clerk said, opening the curtain.

“Thank you,” you replied to her, but Feitan wasn’t budging from where he stood.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“I no want to get undressed in public. Too vulnerable.”

“I’ll be right here the entire time. No one is getting between me and that curtain, I promise.”

His gray eyes pierced into your own before sighing and entering the dressing room. When the curtain closed, you exhaled out of relief. You wondered if it was going to be difficult shopping with him, especially since he didn’t like change, but everything was going smoothly. Now came the best part about this trip for you: seeing Feitan dressed in exquisite clothing.

Feitan ripped the curtain closed, taking extra precaution to make sure no one could peek through before slowly shedding his old clothes. He pulled the articles of clothing off their hangers in a flash, eager to get dressed in something so he wasn’t feeling as exposed. Covered once more, he examined himself in the mirror. His slender fingers trailed over the foreign clothing currently on his body, feeling the different fabrics under his touch. He had never paid much attention to how he looked in the past, not caring about his level of attractiveness to others. He spent most of his days covered almost head to toe anyway. However, under the bright dressing room lights, in new clothes that showed off his figure in ways he didn’t know possible, he experienced a surge of different emotions all at once: excitement, joy, uncertainty-

“Fei? You alright in there?”

His eyes widened when he heard you. He had been behind the curtain for a long time, hadn’t he?

“I coming, don’t rush me.”

He tried sounding as normal as possible but his voice shook slightly. Grabbing the curtain, he halted his movements as an unknown feeling washed over him.

Was he nervous?

Feitan scoffed. He was a Spider; why was awaiting a girl’s opinion cause him such distress? He took a deep breath and yanked back the curtain, deliberately avoiding looking at your face in fear of seeing your reaction. Your silence was deafening to him and he found himself wishing you would begin talking nonstop like you normally do. You noticed an air about him that was strikingly opposite than normal—he seemed apprehensive. Comfortable in the clothes, not hiding himself away, but just unsure of himself.

No—unsure of you.

“Fei,” you spoke softly, walking towards him, “you look absolutely stunning.”

He had never wished for his cowl more than in that moment so he could hide away from your sweet words that were making a blush blossom across his face.

“You’re so handsome,” you breathed out as he finally looked up, his black hair falling into his eyes.

“Tch. You ridiculous,” he replied, but there was no bite to his tone. Was he secretly thankful that you were pleased with the way he looked? Of course he was. You were his pride and joy, his treasure amongst the trash of the world. Your opinion was the only one he genuinely cared about all the time, other than his own. He was deeply loyal to you and would follow you to the ends of the earth. And if he got to wear this Ouji style every once in a while on that journey? He’s not mad about that.

“You know how I feel about it, but how about yourself? You like?” you asked, a hopeful lilt in your voice.

After a few seconds passed, Feitan answered. “I do. I like very much.”

Your eyes lit up. “Really? Ugh, I’m relieved! I would’ve felt horrible if you hated it!”

Feitan had to fight the tiny smile that threatened to appear on his lips.

“I get this. Keep for special occasions.”

“Your outfit would go perfectly with that dress I got the last time we went shopping! We’re going to look so good together!”

You kept talking about outfits and your delight at his willingness to coordinate with you but he wasn’t really listening. He was too busy watching you and feeling another surprising emotion for the day:

Love.

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 38 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 2 | lesson 37 | lesson 39

normal and hard spoilers

enraged and pleading being the lesson opener...

is lucifer putting aside his pride for the sake of his brothers?

my heart can't take this

lucifer never begs. the fact that he's so lost in his rage, his confusion, his grief, this is why satan was born the way he is. lucifer losing control of himself to the point that he puts aside his dignity, his pride, using his power to this extent is something i thought i'd never get to see. and the fact that it's all for his brothers makes it that much more painful

he was fine being bound by chains when it was just him, when everyone else was safe, when he was punished for his actions and endangering and ruining the lives of the ones he loved. as long as his family is safe, he doesn't care what happens to himself. then he saw simeon, luke, mc, mammon, and couldn't reign in his emotions. he couldn't stand the thought of the people he cared about the most suffering because of what he'd done, because of his arrogance and insistence and prideful nature, so much so that his anger at himself, at his father, overrided any sense of pride he had left

he's scared, not for himself, but for his family. he uses his anger to mask his fear, but now the two are blended together so intricately that he can't differentiate the two and is losing himself, hurting the people he wants to protect

another instance of him putting aside his pride. lucifer had been just as insecure about his position at diavolo's side as mephisto had. diavolo saw him at his worst, at his weakest, and devoted himself to diavolo for the sake of his family. he put aside his pride, took on the mantle of what he perceived to be a trophy for the person that saved his life, his brothers' lives, and his sister's life

but the thoughts lingering in the back of his mind blinded him of the fact that diavolo didn't only take pity on him, but he understood and empathize with him, he cares about lucifer more than their fathers ever cared about either of them

diavolo AND lucifer at full power ??? i'd be surprised if the entire underworld didn't collapse in on itself. and if that happens, another war is gonna break out, but this time, it'll be between the celestial realm and the devildom bc they're destroying celestial realm property

if an all out war did happen, i wonder if simeon, raphael, and maybe even luke would all take the devildom's side. they've seen firsthand the evil the celestial realm is capable of, and they probably wouldnt want to be a part of it

GODDDDD IM GONNA CRY

if lucifer cries i might ACTUALLY lose my mind

the only reason he lost control of himself was because he thought he had nothing left to fight for, nothing left to lose, and he didn't care if he died in the process since he didn't have anything or anyone left to live for. but seeing his brothers brought him back to his senses. he lives for them, because of them, and would do anything to keep them from danger, even if the danger is him himself

WHATTHEFUCK THIS IS ONLY THE 2ND PART OF THE LESSON ??????? WHAT IS GOING ONNNNNNNNN

speechless. no words. i just thought i should add this

diavolo KNEELING ???? my god

satan 🥺

my guesses are as good as theirs, honestly. i don't think michael would do something this terrible to his most beloved brother, even after lucifer's betrayal of the realm and refusal. he sent luke and simeon down to check on lucifer for fuck's sake, and he went down himself disguised as raphael to make sure lucifer was ok. to see is he really was happy

maybe it was their father? but the whole forgiveness thing throws that out of the window for me. and it couldn't have been the demon king himself since he's in a deep sleep, and there's no way diavolo wouldn't at least feel if his father had woken up. maybe it was someone from the house of lords? mephisto's parents or grandparents?

it's tricky to pinpoint who the celestial realm would agree, though...

THE BROTHERS EVER i love them all sm

i feel like they woke up in age order, minus lucifer obviously. mammon woke up first and watched over all of them, making sure they were okay, and he probaboy came up with the idea to go to lucifer's room when everyone was awake and well. levi woke up second and was trying to distract himself with his games or his manga or something, but couldn't bring himself to leave until he knew all of them were safe

so on and so forth, but i can't figure out if i wanna believe satan or belphie woke up last. technically, satan's the youngest, but belphie's the weakest. satan was also the first to fall victim to cocytus and was stuck in its depths for the longest, but belphie arguably went through the most emotional distress because of what happened to beel. maybe they woke up at the same time?

incoherent screeching and sobbing noises

MY HEART

i feel like lucifer saying "no matter where you may be, no matter how far away" is only gonna make it harder for them to leave. and it's only gonna hurt the brothers more once they realize they'll (most likely) never see mc again. not in this lifetime, not in this timeline, not unless barbatos wills it

...WE FINALLY GET OUR ROOM BACK ‼️

so it wasn't god that was the celestial realm representative...who was it then?

[fernsnailz]

HI . GET ON THE DISSECTION TABLE. taking your brain RIGHT NOW OH MY GODDDDD. OH MY god ,,, everything in the zine,,,,,

obviously the quality of your work, the art itself is so good ,,,, but OUGHHGGGGHGH i need to bang my head into a wall until im unconscious . like the title itself, starting off . woe mama we are in for a fucked up roboty treat . your comps . your writing . in the most respectful and awestuck tone possible . i need to kill you

my favorite i think is how you draw gemerl ,, all the robots you nail their expressiveness but oughh ,, him in particular makes me kick my feet . 'you are everything i fear becoming' makes me actually tear the fucking floorboards up the themes of autonomy ,,,,,, ,,, and how you storytell through your comic panels,,, the 'what a fool you are to think the doctor is gone' panel set makes me drink 2 Monsters and eat glass

THE . THE IMPOSSIBLE GOAL COMIC RAGHHHHHH. FAV FAV FAV . geninely shaking and trembling looking at it like jesus thats so fucked up ,,, your mind . your writing is so everything !! i would love to get any insight for how you workshop it because it is consistently breathtaking it sticks with me so heavily,,, one time i accidentally stole a line of dialogue word for word from your Never turn back zine comic and had to change it dfhjd,,,,, (wow this line is so cool ! ...a little toooo cool. squint.) but yeah god the last comic wow,, your panel compositions are banger after banger you are so good at consistently writing evocative stuff,,, tragic, rlly funny, hopeful, its so inspirational

thank u so much for putting together such a cool zine, would love to have it physically one day !

GOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS EDIT IS KILLING ME. this is such a rewarding ask to get, i'm so glad you picked up on these things!!

my writing work shopping style is. hm. a bit all over the place. i have a lot of thoughts about it i'll put under a cut if you're interested. there's a lot of little things i've picked up that help me out so so much that i would really love to share!

ok FIRST i should note that it took me so goddamn long to write this thing. like i had the very very VERY first concepts for metal sonic good future like. a year ago. the first scrawlings are literally in a notebook right after some thumbnails i was using for dance in fire and i was editing dialogue up until two days ago. i'm ill

BUT!!! there are a few things i like to keep in mind when i write/edit that have really helped me!

GET OTHER PEOPLE TO READ YOUR STUFF. ESSENTIAL STEP. i get stuck in holes with my work a lot and having beta readers and other eyes on this thing made it like a million times better

sometimes you have to kill your baby. there will be certain lines or moments that you ADORE that simply don't fit into the larger piece, and you gotta just cut it out to make it better sometimes. but usually this gives birth to an even cooler and more epic baby. or sometimes your killed baby is also resurrected later to be used in a different scene. does this make any sense

figuring out what emotion you want a scene to make people feel is very important - with this in mind, i also pay really close attention to how my writing or scene concepts make me feel physically. i think this is the thing that has helped me most with work shopping anything i want to be evocative. does a line make me tense my jaw? make my teeth vibrate? make my chest tight? do i suddenly feel the blood in my hands? if it makes me feel something within my body, i try to draw on that physical sensation when forming the rest of the scene.

ok this last one is. stupid. as i was wrapping up this thing i went through a final edit phase i'd call "Garten of Banban Vision." Garten of Banban is an indie horror game that has uhhh kinda mid dialogue. a lot of it focuses on exposition, and any emotion in it feels a bit hollow. with this in mind, i read through everything one last time and imagined like all of the lines were from a Garten of Banban game and spoken in the character's monotone voices. if the line felt like it could fit a little too well in the Garten of Banban world, i considered editing it. but if i started thinking "oh shit this is pretty good for a Garten of Banban game" i knew it was fine. do you understand what i was alluding to when i said my writing process is a bit all over the place

in conclusion. writing hard

[ch3rriiii-bunn]

Under the moonlight

I'm such a slutttttt for thinking of this with Sekido OH MY GODDDDD😩😩

Warnings: fem!reader, fluff to smut, reader is described to be black, demon reader, reader is sekido's lover, mention of insecurity (on sekido's part), public sex, vanilla sex, soft dom Sekido, praising, dirty talk (kinda) , breeding kink(?), oral (reader receiving), aftercare

Sekido's mission from his master took him a while to complete. Much longer than he predicted. When an upper rank is given a task by muzan, they must drop all personal issues to do as he says or eles a heay punishment would be done, even death.

This was something Sekido explained to you earlier in the relationship, but it wasn't an issue for you. Sekido has strict rules for you when he's leaves on a mission, one of them being you can't leave the cottage he leaves you at. He doesn't tell you to be controlling, but he doesn't give you a reason.

Under his constant state of anger and rage, he just wants to protect you. You're a demon, yes, but you're not as strong as him, far too kind to humans and demons and would rather reason with them than kill them. Sekido often scolds you for being this way and calling it weak. However, you give him peace, and he would do anything to protect his peace.

Sekido is walking to the cottage he last saw you but his mind begins to be filled with negative thoughts. It angers him to have these feelings when he comes back from a mission but he can't help but wonder if you managed to find someone eles.

His brothers teased him about his relationship with you during their mission, more than usual even. "I'm surprised swset y/n stayed with you for this long," Karaku said "yeah your other lovers couldn't take your consent anger." urogi laughed. "That's mean Urogi. We are clones of a certain emotion. Maybe y/n just deals with, " Aizetsu said.

As much as it angered Sekido, he couldn't help but agree with his brothers. They knew they were clones, but Sekido questioned why someone like you could like someone like him. Despite him always being easily angered, he tries his best to be soft with you and only you, yet these thoughts wouldn't leave his mind, and he walks quicker, more eager to see you than ever.

Before he knew it, he was at the cottage. He flew open the door, walking so hard it his loud stomps could he heard by anyone in the small house. He searched all over the house until he made it to the backyard, seeing you sat down in the meadow picking the flowers and putting them I'm your afro.

Before he could call out your name, you looked over your shoulder. "Welcome back," you smiled at him sweetly. Sekido couldn't help but sigh in relief to see you're doing okay. "Your senses have gotten better," he said, heading towards you, but you only giggled. "It was your staff that gave it away. It's pretty loud when you walk with it, " you said, looking up at your boyfriend standing before you.

Sekido didn't say a word. He kept his eyes locked on you. It felt like he's been gone forever he didn't know the right words to respond to your welcome. You crawl towards him and hug his leg. "I've missed you so much, Sekido. How was your mission?" You asked resting your cheek on his thigh, looking up at him with your pretty eyes. "Let's go inside. I'd like to hear about your mission" you said.

"Can I touch your hair?" He asked, sounding so much calmer than ever you couldn't help your smile from growing wider. "Of course you can." Once you gave him the okay, Sekido started to play with the coils in your afro gentle and then leaning forward to caress your face with his hand. You rest your cheek in his touch, looking at him with puppy eyes.

"I'd rather stay here." Sekido sits down next to you and picks a flower. "You look like you were just getting started with this style. I'd be mad if you didn't finish what you started" he said and put the flower in your afro "lets continue to make this crown look pretty" Sekido smiled softly making you squeal, hiding your face in your palms.

Sekido manages to tell you how his mission went while you both finished putting flowers in your afro, but you noticed something was off. His explanation seemed almost dry, like he's leaving the little details out on how he felt this whole time the two of you were apart.

"Sekido. What aren't you telling me? " Your hand rests on his, but his face turned away from you. "I just told you, didn't I? I hate repeating myself-" he stops when he turns to see your smile go away. He sighed. "My brothers were just annoying. Saying shit about you being too good for me, but who cares we're demons. We come and go, " Sekido said.

Tears started to fill your waterline and then stream down your face. Sekido panicked a little, his eyes widening and immediately taking your hand. "Stop that. What did I say to make you cry?" He asked with genuine concern. "I don't want you to go. I don't want to find another demon to be with, you're the only one I want Sekido" you started to sob, holding his hand to your chest.

"I don't understand y/n. You're such a sweet and gentle woman. Much different than me, wouldn't you be happier with someone like you? You're so kind to everyone, but I'm only kind to you. I've yelled at you and even gotten angry with you, not just because im a clone but without proper reason. I'm making you cry," he makes a worried yet angered face. "I'm only crying because you forgot how much i love you," you sniffle.

"I love the kind man who's always angry but learned how to be so kind to me," you kissed his hand. "the man who puts in the effort and tries to be kind to others just for me, the man who helped me make this flower crown and the man who's done so much to protect and love me for me. So please, Sekido. Don't listen to your brothers. I feel at peace when I'm with you," you sob.

"I'm sorry." Sekido places both his large hands on your face, using his thumbs to wipe away your tears. "I'm sorry," he apologizes again, beginning to kiss your sweet face, tasting your tears on his lips. "I did not forget your love for me... I was foolish and not thinking straight. So stop crying.. I never want to see you cry like over something so stupid. " he kisses you again, and then time kisses your lips.

Sekido pulls back, letting the tip of his nose touch yours. "Are you done crying?" He asked, and you nodded your head in his hold with your lips pouted. Sekido snarls a bit, figuring out how to make you smile and just starts to rub his nose on yours "smile. Smile damnit, this tickles, " he said, rubbing his nose harder on yours, making you both fall back accidentally.

You burst out laughing and wrap you arms around his neck "that's not how you nose kiss!" You continue to laugh only for Sekido to get flustered and hide his face in your boobs. You pet his head when he suddenly shoots his head up with his hands at your sides "your hair will flatten at the back if you lay like that" he said and you only shake your head "I'll just use my pick to fix it" you smiled.

"I'll fix it for you," Sekido's voice softens as he leans in to kiss you. Your eyes closed, and your hands cupped his cheeks to kiss him back. Sekido began to close the gap by pressing his body weight down on you more, fitting himself perfectly between your thighs, and started to caress you thigh. He feels your smile in the kiss and pulls back slowly "what's so funny?" He asked.

"You're being so touchy. Wouldn't you rather go inside for this?" Your hands caress his chest, slipping a hand in his kimono to feel his warm skin. Sekido couldn't hold himself back and started to grind his lower half, pressing his cock against your pussy "I've missed you" he said opening his kimono more for you to touch at his chest and little it slip off his shoulder "I want to you. Right here, " he kisses you again, grinding harder, making you both let out a soft moan. "Can I?"

"Of course you can"

Sekido takes his kimono off, being naked over you and folds it. "Lift your head up," he said. You lift your head up for him to place his kimono under your head for comfort. "Thank you." You said and he nods. "Just lay back and let me take care of everything." Sekido starts to undo your kimono, exposing your naked body.

Your eyes closed in his touch. His large hands touching your thighs, moving up to your hips, caressing your love handles and eventually up to your boobs. Sekido postions himself and starts to lick at your nipple and takes it between his lips. His eyes stayed locked on you as he watches your body respond to his touch "feels good?" He asked and you nod quickly.

"I want words," his fingers play and inches with your other nipple making you open your eyes. "Does it feel good?" He asked again and rolls his tongue over your nipple making you whimper softly. "Yes, it feels so good, " you said, and your hips started to move in small circles under him Sekido takes notice and moves his hand down between the two of you to rub his fingers at your clit and down between your folds. "So wet for me already" he said continuing to play with your pussy and sucking on the other nipple.

Your mouth opens up more in a 'o' shape woth your moans growing louder. "S-sekido please, can I cum?" You beg "gonna cum already? If you're going to cum I want it on my tounge" he said and slowly starts to kiss down your body. "My beautiful woman." Sekido kisses down to your stomach, giving your lower half a lick and grins when you shiver.

"Always so beautiful for me," he said and kissed your inner thighs, then threw your thighs over his shoulder. "But you look even more beautiful under the moonlight." He gets to your pussy, giving your clit a soft kiss before giving you a long lick and grips onto your thighs when your back arches.

"Sekido," you moan his name, running your fingers through his hair. "That feels so good," you bit your lip. He hums in response, moving his head and tongue in rhythm with your hips moving and bucking in his face. For a moment, you look away, Sekido eyes intensely locked on you. He growls lowly when you look away and grip onto your thighs hard when he flattens his tounge on your clit and apply more pressure.

You gasp with a moan, and you thighs, shaking in his grip. You look at him again, knowing Sekido wants to watch him when you cum on his tounge. You felt shy at the idea, yet your mouth hangs open, moaning from his tongue licking at your throbbing clit. His fingers rub between your wet folds before he thrusts them inside.

Sekido moans, his cock twitches just from feeling your wet walks clench on his fingers. He let's his slavia fall from his tounge on your clit as he starts swirling his tounge in circles over your clit while thrusting his fingers upset and curling them to hit your spot.

"Sekido! S-sekido right there," you whimper and your legs trying to stay open, getting close to your high. Sekido holds your hand, still keeping his eyes on you, seeing the desperate look to cum on your face and tears filling your water line. He grins fingering you faster and feeling your hand grip onto his until your eyes shut and cumming on his tounge.

Sekido let's you clam down from your orgasm and then slowly pulls his fingers out of you. He watches your body fall back with heavy breaths follow3r by moans when he starts to lap up your juices and licks his lips. "Usually, I'd punish you for looking away from me. However I'll let it go this time" he smiles and sits up, spreading your legs open as he grinds his hard cock on your wet pussy.

"I need you" he whispers making his tip tease your clit and watches your hips move up and down. You moaned when He puts his tip inside then slowly thrusting his length inside letting out a deep sigh "fuck baby" he whispers, bottoming out and hummed when he fully gets inside you. "Are you ok?" He asked, and you nodded.

"I've never forgotten your love and I never will" he kisses your jawline "let me show you how much I fucking love you" Sekido presses his chest on your boobs and starts thrusting his hips slow, giving you deep strokes. "Oh my god" your head falls back, moaning at the feeling of his cock so deep inside already hitting your spot and your hands on sekido's broad musclar back, holding onto him as he makes love to you.

"You make me feel so good." Sekido lowly gunts as his thrusts start to increase. "You're moans, drive me crazy. Your pretty moans" he said and wraps his arms around you, his thrusts getting faster and he gasps softly when he feels your walls squeeze his cock tighter. "I love you," Sekido takes your hands away from his back and holds them tightly. "I love you, I love you," he whimpers and presses his lips on yours kissing you with tounge.

You could only hum in response. Sekido and you moan in the sloppy kiss, your hands holding his and your legs wrapping around his waist. "S-sekido!!" You manged to say in the kiss with a whine and he pulls back with saliva connecting you two for a moment "i-im gonna cum- gonna cum! Cum inside me please" you begged.

"You always ask so sweetly. I'll fill you up just how you always like it." Sekido moans followed by a slight growl as he snaps his hips faster. His hands let go of yours but still wrapping around your body, holding you close as he kisses you and groans in pleasure he felt your nails dig into his back.

You let out a long whine in the kiss as you cream on sekido's cock holding onto him tightly through your orgasm. Sekido couldn't help the whimper escaping his throat as he filled you up and broke the kiss. "I love you so much." He said breathlessly

Sekido takes you back into the cottage. The night was ending, and you two needed to have sanctuary from the sunlight and decided to stay at the cottage for another day.

Once inside, he takes a bath with you. After the bath, you sat in the chair in the bedroom, getting ready for Sekido to put your hair in braids for the night. Once he was done, he put your bonnet on your head himself and then kissed your forehead.

"Tomorrow night, how about we find a different meadow on our way home to put different kinds of flowers in your hair?" He asked.

You got up and hugged him tightly. "I'd love that"

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hi!!!! kicks my feet id like to see ur wiwi first death thoughts pls

- @suckinitup

MY BELOVED MUTUAL SUCKINITUP HOW ARE YOU. HEAD IN HANDS. I LOVE WILLIAM WISP. FUCK. i think abt him constantly but i almost never write down my thoughts because if i think abt him for too long i make myself sick. like fr. i love him too much. ouuguhghhg going to just straight copy paste this under a cut because it is SO LONG sorry for any typos or sentences that sound weird out of context bc these were originally discord messages:

ohhhhhhh wiwi first death. god . i have so many fucking emotions about wiwi first death. before i get into this im going to say fork found in kitchen to myself because so much of how i view wiwi comes from a VERY SPECIFIC type of dp fanon that it would take me 12 years to actually explain in detail so im gonna say just trust me and understand that william wisp is literally just a fuckign. walmart rebrand of a type of danny characterization i really wish people would just oc-ify (thank you charlie slimecicle for doing this for me)

okayyyyyy okay okay okay. i love there being like. a STARK fucking difference between william before the fall and william after the fall. william before the fall was so much... brighter. in every sense of the word. he looks ALIVE because he is! hes just a . regular fuckign 16 yr old boy. that weird kid in your math class. and yeah he has . suuuuper undiagnosed untreated depression but like its a small rural town thats normal i think. hes got his little group of friends to spend hours with going on cool hikes and reading about the paranormal at the library and sitting in circles talking about conspiracy theories and things. i think UPP is. awesome. i hesitate to get too attached to them in headcanon world just because i dont want bizly to then introduce us to them in s3 and i have to reframe my whole mindset . whatever. i have vague ideas of who they are but the important bit is like. i just think theyre really good friends. and they spend a lot of time together. and william is kind of their defacto leader because... he is the only one of them who actually has truesight. they all believe in ghosts and monsters and stuff but william is the only one who can actually SEE THEM. like. constantly. and thats a lot. and even though they believe him they dont really like.... understand. which kind of makes william feel disconnected from basically everyone around him at all times. i dont think truesight is probably a well-known thing?? so when he was little and started crying to his parents about monsters they thought he just had bad night terrors and then he just................. hes 16 now and still talks about it (less so now, hes learned the horrors of middle- and hihg-school Shame and not to be Super Weird All The Time) so its more like. hmm theres something Wrong here but we dont know what and we dont know how to help. other people (you included ros) have said this better than me but goddddd you knowww the dynamic btwn william and his parents is rough. they love him! so much! and they want to support him! and william loves them too! but they dont GET IT they dont UNDERSTAND and its like. you know what i mean. when you get a mental health diagnosis and suddently everyone is treating you like youre made of glass and nobody really knows what to say around you anymore or whatever. you know what i mean. that.

ANYWAY ALL THIS IS FUCKING. PREAMBLE. GOD. the fall. man. i think there is a STRICT UPP rule of "dont go into the whispering woods alone" and thats the case for the ENTIRETY of their friendship. DONT go into the woods alone. william knows exactly what kind of shit lives in the woods and he knows hes the only one that can reliably see them and he doesnt want anyone to get hurt. MINIMUM of two members for whispering woods investigations. (this is not a town rule or anything. i think the adults of deadwood are aware that its a weird place but it all gets brushed off like . aha everywhere has quirks! and the UPP are like. the conspiracy kids that know the Real Stuff going on. very..... house of anubis is the closest Real Media vibe i can think of rn. UPP pre-fall is like the closest u will get to . scooby doo style monster of the week shenanigans that arent really super serious because theyre safe as they can be about it! bunch of kids doing a ouija board. you know how it is)

uhhhhhhh and then william starts acting weird! i think all of them are on a whispering woods investigation together and theyre all walking together and then william starts lagging behind, staring out at something none of them can see, kind of like. zoned out. tranfixed. and when theyre like "will what do you see?" he shakes his head and snaps out of it like. huh? what? nothing lets keep walking. (it was a wisp btw. obviously) and there are a couple more incidents of him doing this same thing on that one hike until eventually they decide to call it because theyre not finding anything else and tbh william youre kind of freaking us out here. will you be okay? and hes like yeah of course i will guys its nothing i swear. and then they all go home.

and thennnn without telling anyone a couple days later, william goes on a walk in the woods alone. he broke his OWN rule . on that hike he saw wisps and they were just too far away to see clearly off in the distance between the trees but he just Kept Seeing Them and the curiosity was just nagging and nagging away in his brain so much he had to know what they were (thats wisp magic babyyyy you know the mythology around them i dont need to explain that to you) . (and also there is a fair amount of. lack of self preservation because of the previously mentioned untreated unmanaged depression but if i start talking about that in detail i will overshare and also be soooooo emo forreal. know that that is an EXTREMELY important part of this decision but im also going with a little more of the teen mystery angle with this rn. bloody gory mental illness is for after he falls) so he packed his monster investigation backpack and he just. left. didnt even tell his parents he was going he just walked out of the house after school and went into the woods. and he saw the wisps again, but now that he was alone they were Closer and Brighter and they would move whenever he got close and then there was a trail of them ! like they were Leading him somewhere

and i think with some of the monsters he sees he can feel whetehr or not theyre out to hurt him . and the wisps dont feel like that. they feel... well. cold,becaue theyre ghosts, but also warm at the same time? inviting. they dont want to hurt him (they do) they just want to show him something and william "too curious for his own good" wisp wants to know what that thing is! i think he knows the woods really really well because he spends a lot of time out there. so somewhere far away in the back of his mind he kind of knows what theyre leading him toward. but he still jsut Has To Know, so he keeps jogging, keeps hopping over fallen logs and around low branches and theres always a little blue flame juuuuust out of reach so he keeps going . and then he gets to the cliff. its like a full on. burst out of the trees there is a wisp juuuust on the edge where the ground falls away. i think he trips on a root and falls flat on his stomach before he can completely just run off. it gives him a second to catch his breath, to look out and See where he is. for things to kind of come crashing down on him. if he hadnt tripped he wouldve run right off the edge and fallen and it was close enough of a near death experience for it to scare him. but the wisp is still there, and its the biggest brightest one hes seen yet and if he looks around he would see it looks like the entire forest behind him is glowing with tiny blue fires like theyre all watching him. i dont think hes really. thinking coherent thoughts at this point he just kind of. realizes now that hes out here he doesnt really want to go home. he doesnt want to go back to school, doesnt want to eat lunch in the bathroom and think about his brothers empty bedroom across the hall and have his parents look at him with such a weird mix of love and awkward pity and he knows his friends say they believe him but he can see it in their eyes sometimes that the things he says scares them and he really just has been a freak his whole life.... and he realizes as hes thinking all of this he's gotten to his feet and walked toward the wisp on the edge of the cliff. and hes just standing there feet on the very edge staring at it. its floated away now, hanging over the drop at eye level with him but its probably still close enough he could just... reach out.... and try to grab it...... and his feet slip on the rocks and JUST as he closes his hand around the wisp it almost feels like something pushes him (probably just the wind.. right?) and he falls.

he does Not remember hitting the bottom thank god. he remembers falling, and falling, and in the fall he realized he was still holding the wisp he grabbed in his hand and so he pulled it close to his chest as he fell and it almost felt like it was burning him but it was *cold* and .. then he woke up! he woke up in a misty foggy field in what looked to be the middle of the night but if he looks at the sky too long it looks *weird* its just black and empty and there are weird bluish swirls in it that could be clouds but look different, and there are trees in the distance but whenever he tries to walk toward them it feels like theyre moving the same distance away so it never really feels like hes getting anywhere.. and he trips over what he thinks is a rock and lands in the foggy grass and looks behind him and realizes *oh my god thats a gravestone-* and then he wakes up again, for real this time !!! (<< that scene is like. thats His Island. thats his lair or whatever. remember when mal first took him to the spirit world and they were in the graveyard and mal told him that was his. im going with dp style spirit world lairs and this one is williams. hear me out)

aaand. when he wakes up for real. he is at. the bottom of the cliff. EVERYTHING hurts. everything hurts so fucking badly but also everything is like... weirdly numb? and he doesnt really remember that weird dream with the fog and the trees and the grave its all kind of fading as he wakes up more and more and ... his hands are empty hes not holding the wisp anymore. he doesnt know how much time has passed. was any of that even real or did he just have some kind of nervous breakdown and jump off a fuckign cliff? i think he fucking sits there and cries about it for a loooooong time. and everythihng hurts but its gonna start getting dark soon he NEEDS to go home before it gets dark, his parents will start to worry about him and he doesnt want to do that to them. also he might need to get to a hospital or something but hey! he can move! he can stand up and walk! so he must not have any broken bones or anything he just. is bruised and sore probably. and so he. sooooo slowly. so slowly. makes his way back up the cliff (theres. a path. he doesnt have to climb i promise) and back home. alone. no wisps or anything, just william alone with his thoughts. which is . goddd its bad. thats why it takes him so long. ohhh my god what am i even gonna fucking say when i get there. hi mom and dad sorry i needed to clear my head and follow some weird ghosts and in the process i tried to kill myself and it didnt work? fuck?

so by the time he gets home... huh. the door is locked thats weird. its not fully dark yet and his parents know he stays out late with his friends a lot of the time so they usually leave the door unlocked for him. so he knocks. and his mom answers the door and takes one look at him and just fucking breaks down into tears. and so his dad comes in from around the corner to see whats going on and he starts crying too. and william is so. freaked out by this. guys whats wrong what happened. turns out he has been missing for. two weeks. nobody knew where he was or what happened and the woods are alive and weird and anyone who went out in a search part just ended up getting lost themselves and came back like an hour later with nothing. they thought he was dead. (which. i mean. he was. but like. not in the way they thought). so theres this big huge emotional family group hug or whatever with william all dirty with leaves and twigs in his hair and torn clothes and mud on his hands and feet and his mom and dad are just like oh thank god youre alive thank god youre home what happened to you and... man. euguhhhhahghhhh. emo. sorry. god. head in hands .

i thiiink. he kind of ends up telling them what happened. he leaves out the wisps though. his watered down version is.. i just needed to clear my head, i went out into the woods, i got lost, i tripped and fell. (remember how william downplays it for dakota when he asks. i tripped and fell) he doesnt tell them about the wisps but like. that almost makes it worse becuase they KNOW about his bad mental health even if they dont fully understand it and.... this version makes it sound suspiciously way more like it was just a direct suicide attempt. which. william IMMEDIATELY regrets as soon as it leaves his mouth. but thats his story now. so everything kind of... goes back to normal? normal ish??? as nrmal as they can i fucking guess?? for a couple days and he has to go back to school and. god it fucking sucks. gossip . you know how it is. hey that kid tried to kill himself and got lost in the woods for two weeks what a weirdo he freaks everyone out . that kind of stuff. so hes more isolated than EVER and even his friends wont really talk to him although theyre more... sad. than anything else. they just dont really know what to say. theyre teenagers. idk. uhhhhhh then one day he reallyreallly REALLY doesnt want to be somewhere so he hides in the bathroom and.. doesnt realize it at first but he goes invisible. and its not until a couple other kids come in and leave and dont acknowledge him at all that he notices something is weird (he feels bone chillignly cold but like. its a shitty old school building in the very beginnings of winter of course its gonna be cold) and he looks in the mirror and realizes he cant see himself. and after that more and more of his powers kind of. slowly manifest? and he is VERY bad at controlling them and he plans not to tell anyone at first (hes already enough of a freak) until one day his dad finds him like. halfway through the floor in his bedroom and its this . kind of funny ridicuous but also really scary moment. and william has a realization at some point like. oh. i think i *died*. and auughhghg. i think thats all i ahve for now. but . man. when i tell you i think about this soo fucking much man.