#GOD I CANNOT EMPHASISE THIS SHIT ENOUGH

[cherry-bomble]

AND ALSO something something Deli rejecting the cerisian parts of himself in the five year span after the events of the ambush knowing that the grainy parts of him were more susceptible to the mould creature which inexplicably attacked him but also giving up meatlander traits and traditions like the bearing of the shield because he wants to appear strong enough to fight unprotected after losing a level of defense in Colin.

something something Karna's "hot girl glow up" is so bittersweet because her form starts to mimic Lady Amangeaux and her style because it's the only female/maternal presence she's ever known. she's likely seen Amangeaux leverage her sensuality to get what she wants so with Deli being the first thing she desires so she subconsciously mimics her appearance to try and appeal to him (long curly red hair, red clothing with green and yellow accents, sombre expression). also bittersweet because as she 'ripens' Amangeaux withers away. (or this could be a coincidence ngl)

[glitterinmycrimson]

jake webber x reader headcanons

(image from pinterest)

₊ ⊹ there are zero good jake gifs so still image ⊹ ₊

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽♱⋆.• ˚ ❤︎ ˚ •.⋆♱☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

i cannot emphasise enough how much of a golden retriever boyfriend jake is. he's always enthusiastic about what you do, whatever your passions are, he's your number one supporter. he's fiercely loyal to you. before you started dating he'd text you every day, checking in with you, sending you music he likes, anything to show you he's interested in you before he gets the courage to ask you out.

he apologises a lot because he doesn't have much of a filter. he doesn't say anything offensive but sometimes you'll be having a conversation and he'll just say something completely out of pocket. it's a little hard to talk to him sometimes but he's understanding and tries his best to keep you happy.

he has a specific playlist that he plays for you every time you're in the car together. it's a mix of songs you like, songs that remind him of you and songs he's written about you. if it's one of his songs he harmonises with it like a douche.

he says he loves you very often, it's like his mantra. you'll be cuddling on the couch, just watching tv, and he'll whisper a couple 'i love you's and kiss the top of your head. sometimes he just uses it as a suffix, "how's your day? i love you", "that shirt looks good on you, i love you". he worries that he doesn't show you enough affection so it's his little (literal) way of showing his love.

he keeps a tab about you in his notesapp. your interests, birthday, star, moon and sun signs, gift ideas, etc. you're pretty much on his mind 24/7 but he's afraid of forgetting the small things and it helps to have all the information compiled in one place.

he probably has your contact saved in his phone as something super cheesy, like loml with a bunch of emojis or some crazy inside joke that's incomprehensible to anyone other than the two of you.

he uses god awful pick up lines on you. even after you two are together, he'll text you the corniest shit. "have we met? you look exactly like my future s/o", "if you were a song, you'd be the best single on the album", etc. he goes through phases of themed lines, sometimes it's horror movies, sometimes it's pokemon, it's all cringe.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽♱⋆.• ˚ ❤︎ ˚ •.⋆♱☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

[momo-de-avis]

I genuinely wonder what the usa looks like because lisbon is a fucking dirty city. I cannot emphasise how much it smells of piss. there's dog shit everywhere cause nobody in this country will deign to bend over and pick up their dog's shit with their royal fine hands. there's an astounding lack of public bathrooms in lisbon and with the insane rise in tourism cafés are now charging 1€ even to clients so everyone pisses on the ground. when I do a tour, I take a shortcut which is just a fucking stairwell that I swear to fucking god has not been cleaned in years. that shit is limestone that looks jet black. it reeks of something that at this point i cant even say what anymore. there's trash rolling about the city. tourism is so much, there's many people in the city, it's literally impossible to collect all the trash the city is producing. it's an open air garbage disposal this city. literally every lisboner has been complaining these past couple of years that the city is filthy, it's disgusting, it smells of piss, its full of dog shit, that the portuguese are filthy fucking animals who cannot be clean, that the homeless situation makes it worse because again, homeless means bathroom-less and there's no public bathrooms. I literally have to hold my breath for 10 seconds every day I get off the ferry the smell is so unbearable.

like I cannot highlight enough how dire the situation is

AND YET every week at least one american says to me 'wow lisbon is so clean'

what the fuck is happening over there bro

[bylrlve]

Warning! Potential leaks for season five of Stranger Things!

Alex (aka @dyersfilms on twitter, used to be swiftlynatalia) is the person who successfully leaked most of season 4 due to her knowing a source. She did, however, insist Byler was entirely platonic that season and they fought for most of it and only made up at the end in the pizza van, so…

Here’s her saying she won’t post any byler leaks this time around, which she has said previously.

She got a message saying they’re all fake, and she thinks they all are, so keep that in mind.

Here’s a short one: Will distancing himself from the party bc it’s too hard to be closeted and to be around Mike. If real? Endgame fr.

A ‘leak’ from episode one where shit goes down after the opening scene of Will singing SISOSIG, Will falls, and Mike helps him up,

Here’s an extremely detailed one that casually drops Mileven breakup, Robin-Mike bonding over Vickie and Will, Will trying to avoid Mike ‘confronting him about the painting’, Mike and Jonathan fighting over Will’s safety. Nothing here is debunkable but…. Yeah. God, would it be nice, though.

The two most interesting ones. First, an ask that’s almost entirely plausible except for the mileven part - and that part, specifically, I’m calling bullshit on bc it claims that Hopper is still on the Mike Hate Train. It was made abundantly clear, after their talk and their awkwardly long hug at the end of season 4, that that’s in the past. Besides, it just wouldn’t fit tonally. S3 was the heterosexual-cliché, silly filler season. S5? Nah. Can’t 100% say it’s fake, but even Alex agrees this one isn’t real.

Lastly, an interesting one that’s plausible throughout which claims Mike gets seriously injured and spends some time in hospital. Will stays by his bedside after everyone else leaves and kisses Mike on the forehead. Mike wakes up after he leaves - I think the insinuation is that Mike does a Half-Blood Prince and wakes up knowing that someone he felt safe with was there, but he doesn’t know who it was. If that’s legit? As I said, endgame fr.

I do want to note that both the mileven and Byler asks word the ‘main character getting injured part’ as everyone being ‘shaken up’ so there are a few options: it’s the same person with legit leaks, and Byler isn’t endgame. That, I’d be more willing to accept, cautious as I am, were it not for the Hopper part, which sticks out like a sore thumb. Second option: it’s the same person messing around. Third: it’s two people, one building on the other.

Cannot emphasise enough that these are most likely just bored people having fun, but I figured I’d share them all. The last one is getting passed around the tag sans context, and I wanted to clarify everything else Alex has received. Do not get your hopes up about Byler based solely on these.

Letting my imagination run absolutely wild here for just a moment, however: Maya and Vickie are confirmed to be filming at the hospital set, presumably visiting someone. There’s also a pic of someone with bloody shoes. Imagine if Robin visits Mike in the hospital, witnesses some Platinum-Tier Will Byers Pining™️, and ends up talking to Mike after he wakes up - no mention of how long he stays there.

Lastly, it is fun comparing these to the more doom-and-gloom (re: Mike) leaks Sapphicjopper on twitter got. The awesome @solgmorell has a post explaining those in detail.

Oh, and an interview came out today where Shawn Levy said something insane but, you know, water is wet.

[vwritesaus]

meet sasha and kiyoshi, disaster duo

going off this poll, i've decided to share a snippet of my original work ft. the main protagonist and her boyfriend :> more under the cut!!

.

      Sasha sucks in a deep breath and steps in front of the couch. Immediately, her boyfriend’s eyes flick up from his phone screen to her face.

      ‘Kiyoshi.’

      ‘Yes, Sash?’

      With as much will as she can muster, Sasha says, ‘I need your help with something. Something only you can help me with.’

      ‘Sure!’ Kiyoshi declares, and his enthusiasm is enough to cause a small smile to tug at Sasha’s lips. ‘What is it?’

      That small smile quickly falls apart and dread fills every crevice of Sasha’s being. But she needs to do this. She has to. It’s the only way. It’s the worst idea she’s ever had.

      ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…’ She shakes her head, wincing at the words that come out of her mouth. ‘D’you wanna go to the gym… together?’

      The following silence is devastating. Sasha wants to dig a hole into the floor and crawl into it.

      Kiyoshi blinks at her, his mouth agape. ‘Huh?’

      Groaning into her palms, Sasha bites, ‘Please don’t make this more painful than it already is. Just say yes or no, dammit!’

      ‘Sasha…’ Peeking through her fingers, she sees Kiyoshi dump his phone onto the cushion next to him and hold his hands out to her, palms up. ‘As much as going to the gym together would make me very happy, I also know you.’

      There is no malice in his voice, just pure fact. He does know her, and she knows herself. Kiyoshi’s the sporty one, the gym rat, the muscle pig. Sasha is… not.

      ‘Which is exactly why I need you to motivate me to go. Who knows what can happen in the future?’

      ‘The future?’ Alarm is rife in his expression. ‘Babe, where are you going with this?’

      Sasha drops her hands from her face, her voice turning dry as she shoots Kiyoshi a weary look. ‘Well, y’know how it goes. All those YA novels. The trope is always the same: the protagonist didn’t know they were magic, and then all of a sudden they need to save the fucking world and they are very conveniently armed with MMA knowledge and are super fit and have amazing stamina and know how to hold their own in a spontaneous fight with otherworldly creatures. As you know, I am the complete opposite, so I better start training in case one of my future goddamn visions ends up being a plot to destroy the world and I’m somehow the only fucking person who can stop it.’

      Gasping for air, Sasha tries to catch her breath and curses her lungs for not being to do their job properly. It just hammers the truth of the matter right down to its core. Kiyoshi is frowning, deep in thought, but there’s something in his expression that flickers ever-so-slightly. She knows what’s up. He’s trying to keep his face neutral, and if her nerves weren’t so shot, she’d be doing the same.

      ‘Tell me I’m wrong,’ she says to him instead.

      ‘Sasha. My love.’

      It’s inevitable and Sasha cannot blame him for it. No longer able to keep his face straight, Kiyoshi crumbles and peals with laughter. Never mind that Sasha glares at him.

      ‘My love, I adore you, but you are thinking way too hard about this.’

      ‘I gotta be prepared, Kiyoshi!’ Sasha argues.

      ‘You are prepared!’ he counters. When all Sasha does is stare at him, question marks flying around her head, Kiyoshi puffs out his chest and states with confidence, ‘You have me! Ya think I’m gonna let ya fight alone should one break out? Girl, please. I’ll always have your back. Just say the word and I’ll come and one-two punch the living shit out of whoever tries to mess with you!’

      The whole scenario is emphasised with Kiyoshi’s signature grin, the one Sasha’s seen flashed at the opposing team during his volleyball matches, and with him flexing his biceps. The whole thing is hilarious, and Sasha would laugh if not for the overwhelming fondness that blooms across her whole chest. God, she got lucky with this guy.

      But there’s just one small problem with his proposal.

      She says gravely, ‘That’s sweet of you, darl, but I hate to break it to you... you don’t have MMA skills either.’

      Kiyoshi blinks. Sasha blinks back.

      ‘Guess we’re fucked then,’ he says.

      ‘Guess we are,’ she echoes.

      ‘Better go train then.’

      ‘Better go train.’

      Tapping a finger to his chin, Kiyoshi’s voice suddenly becomes pensive. ‘Say, wanna place a bet?’

      Not one to back down from a challenge, Sasha asks, ‘What kind of bet?’

      Dark eyes sparkle and Sasha’s hooked.

      ‘If you can survive two consecutive days training at the gym with whatever regime I throw at you to “prepare for the end of the world,’ Kiyoshi pitches, ‘I’ll do whatever you want for a week.’

      ‘A month,’ Sasha rebuts, smiling when Kiyoshi nods his head in agreement. Then she pauses. ‘And if I can’t?’

      She regrets the question the second it passes her lips for an evil-looking grin splits Kiyoshi’s cheeks.

      ‘Kiyoshi—’

      ‘If you can’t,’ he says, ‘you have to eat my famous stir-fry.’

      Horrified, Sasha splutters, ‘Kiyoshi—’

      ‘Broccoli and all. Every. Last. Bite.’

      ‘You fucking arsehole!’ she shouts. Seeing no other alternative that won’t end up with this conversation being a waste, Sasha throws her hands up in defeat. ‘Fine! Just you wait. I’ll fucking do it.’

Two days later

      She storms out of the living room, not wanting to give her boyfriend the satisfaction, but his delighted laughter follows her. It’s contagious, and she laughs quietly to herself. But her determination is stronger.

.

      ‘I gotta say, Sash. I’m very surprised,’ he says in awe.

.

Watching Sasha drop the weights on the floor with a deep groan, Kiyoshi’s mouth turns down at the corners.

      With her hands on her knees, huffing and puffing and wishing for a long, long shower, Sasha peers up at him through her eyelashes. Her hair is stuck to her forehead, disgustingly damp with sweat, and her arms are screaming at her, but she manages a smug grin.

      ‘What can I say?’ she wheezes. ‘I’d rather kill my arms and legs, hack a lung out and feel like death than put Satan in my mouth.’

      Kiyoshi laughs and smiles hugely at her. ‘I can see that! I’m super proud of you though.’

      He makes a heart with his hands to exemplify this, and Sasha barely manages to make one as well.

idk who else specifically is interested, but i'm tagging @alastairstom since you wanted to read ajksdas ♡

[saints-who-never-existed]

Episode Eight: Random Rewatch Observations

1. I don’t think it’s ever really 100% certain is it, how deliberate Hodgson’s actions are at the beginning of this episode or how closely in cahoots he might already be with Hickey? I notice right after they all leave the tent that the first person he seems to go to is Le Vesconte though, so I have to wonder if he is just looking for comfort and advice or if he’s peddling the same scaremongering story he does later to Little…?

2. I also wonder if Hickey mispronouncing the word ‘Netsilik’ is deliberate too? Like, is it just a random slip of the tongue or could it be saying more about how Hickey’s just bullshitting his way along while still not really knowing what he’s talking about?

3. He also pointedly doesn’t refer to Jopson as Lieutenant, disrespectful little knobhead…

4. Speaking of disrespectful knobheads, I’ll still never get over how horribly Crozier treats Little in this episode, threatening him with a flogging just for asking a simple question! The fact of the matter is that at that stage, no one but Hickey has any real idea of what’s actually happened, not even Crozier himself. He can’t possibly know for sure until he goes to see the whole sorry scene for himself and in the meantime, bolstering the perimeter is a perfectly reasonable plan.

Surely it would be better to give a timely, controlled order to strengthen that perimeter with your most trustworthy guys in order to make the rest of the men feel calmer, more secure, and less inclined to go off the rails, than to leave the whole camp in panic and confusion, not knowing what the hell is happening, and so jumping at the chance to feel like they’re doing something about it all?

That’s what it’s all about really – timing! Yes, it is a mistake for Little to give the order to arm the men when he does but it’s only a mistake because by that time they’re all too riled up to give up their arms or listen to reason. Again, if they had armed some trustworthy men in a calm and controlled way back when Little first suggested it, if Crozier has only bloody listened to him, then I firmly believe the situation could have been improved massively.  

5. That’s not a comforting arm-pat Blanky gives Little, btw, that’s actually a full-on tit-grab and I am here for it.

6. Oh God you can see how fucked Fitzjames is already in that tent and how he just about manages to hide it until he’s alone. As soon as Little passes him you can see him finally allow himself a grimace of pain when he knows no one can see.

7. Just noticed the neat little detail of a pair of crutches hanging from a beam in the medical tent – shows again the importance of efficiency and preparedness and using ever available inch of space.

8. Oh fuck, the wee Netsilik girl has Irving’s telescope/spyglass right by her side! Can’t you just imagine her having a whale of a time with it right before all the horror kicked off? Gut-wrenching!

9. Also, cannot emphasise enough that Irving would’ve been their friend. Like, none of them are really in their right minds at this stage but those like Little and Hodgson who would have been closest to him would of course be feeling the loss most, and you can see how it influences their decision-making.

Just imagine if your own best friend and co-worker was brutally murdered one day and not only did you have to carry on with your day and carry on working, but you were also berated publicly by your shitty boss then forced to watch as your pal’s already-defiled body was dissected further right in front of you. You’d be a mess too!

10. “Choose men we can trust…” – Aye, you could have done that a few hours ago, Franky-boy, and potentially avoided a whole mess of bullshit!

11. Oh God don’t put De Voeux in charge of anything!

12. Shout out to the Triumvirate of Toms! Jopson taking charge straight away and getting shit done like the brilliant Lieutenant he is. Blanky outrunning Tuunbaq on a wooden leg and continuing not to give a single fuck. And Hartnell, once again ready to step up and help, to defend his mates without a single second thought, even if he has to face down a charging Tuunbaq to do it. Big fan of that little concentrating blinky face he does too – top notch stuff.

13. Good Christ Fitzjames with the rockets is just incredible. That look on his face! The focus and fury and determination in that little snarl! Outstanding! And it also strikes me that this is a perfect instance of him doing an amazing thing without the intention of being seen. He’s invisible in the fog, just like everyone else, and he’s still going all out doing what needs to be done. We know it’s not just vanity with him, that he’s a genuinely good and heroic man, even if he doesn’t realise it himself, but we see more clearly than ever that that’s really not what it’s about here specifically. There just can’t be any vanity in the face of something like Tuunbaq.

14. Pretty sure that’s a diving helmet patch on Collin’s jumper right before Tuunbaq gets him which is just a whole other level of heart-breaking. I wonder if he sewed it on there himself back when he was still excited about being a pilgrim to the deeps…

[inkyquince]

omg i am so with u on the “what if reader was short and adorable and sooo much smaller than (insert character)” like what about reader who is tall and is batshit crazy and is a masochist !!!!! what about us!!!!!!!!

okay, okay, okay. let me explain this theory i have using hit smash dark romantic comedy, NBC's Hannibal, and somewhat, the extended Hannibal books.

Okay so, all fannibals know that Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter are the main romantic pairing. They're in love. Murder Husbands was said IN the show, that's not a thing the fandom made up. Anyway-

A HUGE reason I adore Hannibal and the fandom is that... Bedelia should be Hannibal's love interest or obsession, in the same way the slasher fandom's usual Y/N is small petite and adorable and shit.

She is his perfect equal (kinda). She is put together, she is smart, she is beautiful, she is polite, she is a fellow psychiatrist. Hell, Bedelia was changed from an old woman in the earlier drafts to the mindblowing Gillian Anderson.

By all reason, she should be the one Hannibal is in love with.

She isn't.

Directly opposite of Bedelia, is Will Graham.

He is SO me-core. He is a rude, sweaty, sarcastic, dog dad. He is disturbed and twitchy and bitchy. He is autistic with an empathy disorder.

And Hannibal has many scenes where that man is staring at Will's ass. That man is so in love. The way he looks at that depressed homicidal fucker is beautiful. Just look at Tobias Budge's last episode. Look at how miserable he is in Europe with Bedelia while pining for Will. Yes, pining is a word the show uses, not me. He KILLS another man because he tried to peek behind the curtain like Will did.

And finally, we have Hannibal Lecter's book romantic partner, Clarice. Shout out, Clary. Bad bitch, redhead, and somehow Hannibal is the only man you can even like when you read her books, cuz every other guy is a gross asshole.

So, one one side, Bedelia, on the otherside, Will and in the middle, Clarice.

For a lot of slashers, it feels like... They'd enjoy the Will Graham of love interests. The unhinged. The weird. Like Chucky, Tiffany is the only woman for him (I COULD TREAT HER BETTER).

So, on a range of reader inserts there is the Bedelia's. The ones that SHOULD hold their interest, like Greta in The Boy. Pretty and smol and adorable and oh my god girlies. The one that in practise, would be their lil obsession.

Then we get reader insert Clarice. The understanding, the bad bitch, the one who hears the lambs screaming. In between socially acceptable and unhinged. God I love Clarice. I play remothered and kiss the screen. Takes time to become. Maybe its a bit of stockholm, or Hanni's extra finger is just that good at fingering. (i cannot emphasise enough how much i love Clarice. i legit hate fanfic that try to cast her as a basic bitch. god, she was like my major crush for years.)

Then.... Willy. ehe

The one, you can fully understand and fits too well. These two men SHOW to enjoy each other's company. Hannibal excuses SO much of Will Graham's fucking bullshit because Will Graham is such a BITCH AND I LOVE HIM. Bursting in, throwing his coat, saying he kissed Alana and the only thing Hannibal can focus on? Fucker got kissed. Next episode he sends a serial killer to her house. Get your own bad bitch to kiss, Alana. Hannibal killed people for being rude, or implying rudeness. Will is CONSTANTLY RUDE AND MEAN AND BITCHY and hannibal is kicking his feet.

So, take a slasher.

Let's say.... Ghostface. Shout out Billy and Stu, you guys would have loved... Gay porn? idk man.

Reader 1 is a perfect victim. Stays quiet, all uwu, and they get hard. Neat.

Reader 2 knows who they are. Just shrugs. They're enthused that you don't care and then they get hard. Brilliant. We love a morally grey reader.

Reader 3 is just unhinged. They're strange and weird and they stab back. They get hard. Stu, please, you don't have the blood to spare to get HARD RIGHT NOW-

Anyway, its how I categorise readers. They all somewhat make sense, but my favourite reader insert will be thjrd reader. The antithesis to the slasher. They SHOULDNT be into them, but THEY ARE, and thEY DON'T KNOW WHY.

Like, I love Hannibal because it was the first time we got a Will Graham, instead of a Greta. (also the fact this bitch was called Greta. WHO CALLS THEIR KID GRET0 who cares.)

Im not sure im explaining properly but I love a love interest that is an exception to the slasher. They dont fit in their world, but because of that, its sexy.

Also, the reader being a mess. Its why i love fallen hero rebirth, you can play such a messy villain that everyone still gets hard for. Will Graham was such a breath of fresh air, he's rumpled, he's a bitch, he's tired, his brain is on fire. But Hannibal still wanted to smash, in more than one way.

I fucking love unhinged readers, more than the cute little readers who are 4'11, cant reach shelves and always wear snug weedle jumpers. Like shout out if you are that, you're adorable, but my brain wants to see if i can knock you down like bowling pins. I will read a thing where the male reader jumps on The Collector's back and starts biting and be like omf so me vibes.

Weird bitches needs more weird bitches. And Will Graham once had a weird hallucination he was having a fivesome with hannibal alana margot and a w*ndigo, which is such a weird girl vibe

[beaft]

cannot tell you how relieved i am to see someone else not enjoy the cerulean sea book. like. i liked fragments of it sort of? but mostly it just was Not For Me [i'd have enjoyed it if it had like. a completely different tone and writing style. oof.] and also the CONSTANT fatphobia, even as an Internalized Thing, was just too much for me. like. shut up. this is Not helpful! even now some of the phrases the mc used against himself have become ones i use against myself, and i hate that.

right!! like there was nothing especially wrong with the concept (aside from the fact that it was based on the Sixties Scoop, which, yikes), but the writing was just so bad, tonally all over the place, and none of the characters talked like real human people, and yes - the fatphobia did get a little grating too. (it's refreshing to have a fat main character, but why did he have to get mocked for it the whole time?)

also while we're on the topic of stuff that bothered me: it's like, okay, there's a character who's the antichrist and whose father is literally, textually, Satan, which means Satan is real, which means God is real, which means Christian theology is presumably also real, and we're just. not gonna talk about that at all? like it's just not touched on or discussed even in passing? it drove me CRAZY. and it's such an easy fix too, you could've just said he was, like, the spawn of some elder god or an especially powerful demon or something, which would have fitted much better with the "quirky monsters-and-magic" tone, so why...? just the weirdest fucking choice. it always annoys me when christianity is treated as the default religion, but it's especially jarring in a fantastical setting, and in a story that - i can't emphasise this enough - is based on the cultural genocide of indigenous people. holy shit. unbelievably tone deaf

this was a whole rant that you didn't ask for, sorry, i needed to get it off my chest lmao

[leovaldeeeznuts]

Assigning favourite fob albums to the seven because the horrors won't leave me the fuck alone

Percy: there is some sort of inherent connection between percy and save rock and roll I cannot explain it but it is there. He would love that album so much

Annabeth: either Infinity on high or stardust just because they're fobs best albums and I just feel like annabeth prefers objectively good music if that makes sense?

Jason: this is a toughie because I have not put much thought into it but I feel like he'd love folie the most. Probably fond of lake effect kid as well but that doesn't count bc it's an ep

Piper: I just KNOW piper had an emo phase and cork tree is a classic fob album so it only makes sense. I bet tristan would find her jamming to nobody puts baby in the corner in her room when she was like 13

Leo: Folie. I cannot emphasise this enough he fucking loves folie okay. Normally he plays music in the background when he's working but I bet this album made him feel so much he probably had to put down whatever he was doing for a second and go "holy shit"

Hazel: Infinity on High babey!!!!! She listens to it while painting and she has a blast everytime. Also has at least two of the songs stuck in her head at any given moment

Frank: Mania mania mania mania mania oh my god that is HIS album nobody gets it nobody understands it nobody FEELS it as much as he does

[thedreadvampy]

like the thing about me, right. and I cannot emphasise this enough. is that I am extremely conventionally attractive in a very like "English rose" buxom Kate Winslet In Titanic kinda way. with the good bone structure and very balanced features and flawless porcelain skin and freckles and rosy cheeks and hourglass figure and thick soft hair and naturally great eyebrows.

And the only ways I am not conventionally attractive. are that I'm not thin, I'm over 25, I don't wear makeup with the intention of looking more attractive (only for Drag Reasons), and I dress and style myself in a way which is specifically focused on looking as gay, alternative, physically imposing, and weird as possible. and the thing is. nobody who I want to find me attractive actually thinks any of those things are negatives.

like yes sure I have insecurities out the wazoo. I don't think I'm as hot as my slim muscular friends who are slim and have angular faces and flat stomachs and are thin. because I Am Not Immune To Propaganda.

(also I'm gay and therefore VERY conscious of the amount of just DEVASTATINGLY beautiful women in the world like holy shit there are so many unconscionably gorgeous people just wandering down the street at the same time as me on any given day, with any number of ages, body shapes, facial features, styles and presentations, aesthetics, skin types and tones, hair types and styles, levels of performance of femininity, whatever. like goddamn. WOMEN. I am aware that I'm hot but do you guys KNOW HOW HOT WOMEN IN GENERAL ARE. and I HAVE types like impolitic as it is I don't think all women are equally beautiful or attractive but my god among the subset of women (and non-woman dykes) who I personally find strikingly beautiful there is so much variety and so many deviations from what we're told we collectively should find attractive that although I tear chunks out of myself for not being thin or ripped or tall or having full defined lips or a hard jaw or plastic-surgery-perky tits or doe eyes I do actually. know that none of those things are necessary for a woman or dyke to be hot, bc very few of the women or dykes I have found mindmeltingly beautiful have had all or necessarily any of those traits. like we're much readier to wholeheartedly apply mainstream cishet white thin patriarchal beauty standards ruthlessly to ourselves than to others. anyway I got distracted thinking about how hot women are. back to the post)

so the thing is I know I'm on the upper end of societal standards of feminine beauty, particularly laying aside my weight (and we all recognise, I hope, that no woman is ever considered thin enough) and the decisions I'm actively making in the direction of being less conventionally attractive, which for the most part is a Deliberate Choice I Knowingly Make rather than an accidental side effect.

but a) you're not allowed, particularly as a woman, to believe yourself to be beautiful, because that's seen as conceited and delusional and narcissistic even if it's empirically true and/or not particularly a thing you find validation in. and b) I personally am Not Allowed to think that I have any meaningfully notable positive traits without immediately walking that thought back hard and slapping myself with a series of Brain Sanctions for getting too uppity. this is because I have severe brain poisoning from an unknown source or sources.

all of which is to say that since I was a fairly small child it's been evident to me on some level that I'm. you know. pretty. as a child despite being a horrible gremlin who perpetually looked like I'd just fallen out of a tree into a jumble sale I was nevertheless consistently recieved as adorable and pretty. as a teenager and adult, despite being a weird kid who was a total social misfit, a good proportion of people around me, whether or not they knew or liked me, found me attractive, and when people tried to come for my looks the only message they ever really landed on was "you'd be so unbelievably hot if you didn't dress weird/do your hair weird/do your makeup badly/do gender things wrong BUT YOU RUINED IT".

like I KNOW I'm hot but I'm not ALLOWED to know I'm hot because that would be Bad. if people compliment my looks I get really embarrassed and uncomfortable and shrug them off. if I look in a mirror I start nitpicking my appearance.

HOWEVER. If someone calls me ugly all bets are off. And it's not like a defensive thing it is deeply felt. I never feel more sure in my looks than when someone tries to convince me I'm ugly. It's vain off the chain. Ego off the leash. Cause I know I'm beautiful and you just gave me permission to think that.

Took my assessment of my looks out of the hands of the People Pleasing Brain and gave it over to the Argument Brain and the Argument Brain? That brain has no compunctions about whether I'm allowed to know that I'm beautiful, clever and loveable. its job is to collect empirical data and provide evidence for a bulletproof argument and whole you can convince me I'm stupid, wrong, fallible, bigoted, short-sighted, unpleasant and a bitch based on cherry picked evidence, the empirical evidence just stacks up vastly in favour of other people agreeing that I'm hot, interesting and that they care about me.

you know. TL;Dr choose your anon hate carefully bc while conflict makes me crumble there are several lines of attack most anons choose which just causes me to gigamax into a steel wall of ego.

"I think you got this fact wrong due to unexamined bias" - GOD I'm the WORST I'm a MONSTER I can never JUSTIFY MY EXISTENCE

"haha you're ugly/sexually repulsive/unloveable" - haha bitch have you SEEN ME I'm the hottest and most adored fucker in this McDonalds

the thing is nothing makes me feel more secure in my appearance than anon hate calling me ugly

99% of the time I'm like. embroiled in all the usual worries about my looks and body. am I too fat is my jawline bad am I too short am I too tall is my posture weird do I have a moustache am I getting wrinkles why don't I look like the beautiful women I met on the street

then someone tries to tell me I'm ugly and it's an immediate boost bc my first reaction. every time. is BITCH ARE YOU KIDDING EVERYONE'S BEEN CREEPILY IN LOVE WITH ME SINCE I WAS 14 IF THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW ABOUT MYSELF IT'S THAT I'M EMPIRICALLY ATTRACTIVE. like look at my life of being immediately objectified and sexualised by every straight man I meet despite deliberately dressing like a weird goth dyke. has it been fun? no. has it been miserable and traumatic and left me feeling like my skills and personality take second fiddle to having big tits and a cute face? for sure! but am I ugly? LOOK AT MY PROFILE PICTURE M8 I'M A CERTIFIABLE SMOKESHOW. PEOPLE'S PARTNERS ARE THREATENED BY ME EVERYONE WANTS TO FUCK ME AND/OR BE ME. I'M ADORABLE.

don't send me anon hate commenting on my appearance, guys. It releases the ego beast. I'm SO HOT.

look at me fuckos

ADORABLE. YOU WISH YOU WERE THIS CUTE. it's a shame about my personality but you can't win em all.

[prokopetz]

Everything Tumblr has told you about Moby-Dick is absolute bullshit, and everything that Tumblr has told you about Moby-Dick is 100% true. It’s a travelogue fantasy. It’s proto-science fiction. It’s cosmic horror. It’s shockingly original and it’s shamelessly plagiaristic. It’s a misotheistic Christian parable in which the whale is the mask of a cruel, uncaring God and Ahab is Satan himself, not as trickster or as tempter, but as doomed hero. It’s the most gripping thing you’ll ever read. It’s boring as shit. But above all else – and I cannot emphasise this enough – it is filled with Facts About Whales.

[timbourinedrake]

My pictures from Mitski today- I will never emotionally recover from this

[earthstellar]

It’s 3 AM on a Monday Morning: Let’s Talk About Pharma

I cannot emphasise enough how Pharma was possessed/resurrected by literal space gods and the very first thing he did, leading up to the panels above, was to monitor his ex-not-boyfriend via security cameras-- presumably at least in part to ascertain if Ratchet had a new boyfriend or not-- solely in order to overpower the space god possessing his frame so that he could enact “revenge” and kill the shit out of his ex-not-boyfriend’s new boyfriend immediately. 

The very first thing Possessed Pharma actually does is have Drift shot as close to the spark as possible via targeted and clustered minion open fire.

Just prior to these panels, Pharma watches the security cameras for at least a brief period of time and immediately singles out Ratchet (and whoever appears to be closest to Ratchet) to ensure that his initial shots upon entering the deck are guaranteed as possible to destroy Ratchet’s new boyfriend and ONLY Ratchet’s new boyfriend (most of the other minion shots go wide/miss most of the others/don’t give as much damage to other bots present). 

There is no indication that Possessed Pharma would have given that much of a shit about any of what was going on, had it not been for Pharma’s deep seated obsession with Ratchet immediately kicking in the second he realised Ratchet was actually on board. 

It completely derails whatever the original plan might have been to address the loss of the God Gun. He 100% pivots towards getting the fuck down there with two new core objectives: 1) Obtain Ratchet and 2) Destroy Bot Most Likely to Be Ratchet’s Boyfriend 

Essentially: Pharma is so petty and so invested in Ratchet that it overpowers the influence of a literal god on his spark, processor, and frame-- Total possession, totally overridden by his instinctual petty needs.

(There is quite possibly also a further motive in the form of wanting to just generally isolate Ratchet the way Pharma felt isolated; Aiming at Ratchet’s closest friends and colleagues has a lot of intent behind it...

We see most medic characters tend to be social or actively at their best and most comfortable when with other people. First Aid is even part of a gestalt. We know Pharma did reasonably well in the past, right up until being stationed as a sole medical lead in an isolated location.

There’s nothing in canon that explicitly states that medic type bots might do better in groups, but it does make sense for the nature of the work, and we tend to see medic characters that have fairly social personalities or tendencies. So this is just my conjecture, but I have a whole too-long-post planned about Cybertronian class/caste and social behaviours in the works anyway...!) 

I know that we all already know all of this, but I feel like the sheer level of both pettiness and genuine obsession is core to what makes Pharma an effective and frightening villain. 

We’ve all seen a million “unhinged doctor” type enemies in all kinds of media before, but Pharma is somewhat unique among them in terms of how he got to this point, and how his obsession realistically developed. 

He knows what-- and who--he wants. 

Death can’t stop him. 

God can’t stop him.

It creates a far more effective unsettling vibe to Pharma overall; He’s not just dangerous due to medical knowledge and skills, but we know that he’s going to inevitably make unpredictable mistakes because his sheer obsessive focus on his points of interest have potential to fuck up his higher reasoning. 

It’s not just Ratchet he’s obsessed with, either.

Pharma at Delphi: Loneliness Under Duress and the DJD 

He was obsessed enough with running his clinic effectively enough under difficult conditions to provide care to an isolated and vulnerable population, at the very least to the degree that it’s hinted that he had such a focus on keeping the doors open and continuing to service those in need that when the DJD initially approached him. (Keeping in mind, of course, that a visit from the DJD is very much in the overwhelming majority of cases a brutal and horrific death for all on site.) 

We can assume that in engaging with Tarn, even though Tarn approached him first and specifically sought him out, that Pharma did his best to negotiate not just a reasonable “way out” of death for himself-- But for his patients and staff as well. The end deal was X number of t-cogs at X intervals, and you leave me, my staff, and the rest of my patients alone. 

It’s an unwinnable situation: Any deal with the DJD in such a situation essentially boils down to “Commit atrocities, or we will commit worse ones”.

He clearly felt the need to continue his deal with Tarn despite the spark-crushing, processor-warping level of moral injury it caused him to do, so out of an effort to continue providing medical services as needed-- For those who wouldn’t be effectively harvested for their t-cogs, at least. 

He viewed it, most likely, as a sacrifice of few so that the many could still receive treatment. 

His mindset on this may have been warped by his service as a medic during the war, although we have very little to no canonical information on what Pharma was really up to during the war for the most part, so it’s hard to say-- We do know that he worked with the New Institute, so who knows. 

But obviously, in the past, Pharma was well-adjusted; Even when working at the New Institute, which is when the panel below takes place. 

He was intensely devoted to his patients, took pride in his job. He was a good doctor, as far as we ever see him working in the past, and we do get to see a few glimpses of him administering what appears to be compassionate care. 

It’s unclear at what point various traumas from war etc. may have started to derail him, thus priming him as an ideal victim for Tarn to manipulate, and that’s something that needs to be remembered: 

Pharma is a victim of the DJD. 

He’s not a bad guy for evil’s sake; He set out to do good, or as good as possible given the circumstances that gradually developed. He wanted to make the best of an impossible situation for the sake of those he might still be able to save. 

It’s suggested that Pharma created the rust plague as a way to justify the closing of the Delphi site-- Which in and of itself suggests a serious level of desperation; It may have been during the creation of the rust plague that Pharma genuinely suffered a mental break of some kind. It’s a sign that he saw no way out, the situation was becoming unbearable/untenable, and he realised that Delphi needed to close somehow before it purely became a harvesting factory for Tarn’s t-cog demands. 

It’s a sign that he felt so isolated, even from his own staff, that he did not feel able to reach out for assistance. 

Left as the sole authority under such severe pressure, with all the typical pressure that comes with being in charge of the wellbeing and care of others also bearing down on him in a remote location with supply concerns etc., it’s very easy to see why Pharma eventually folded-- It was inevitable. 

He was under duress for an indeterminate amount of time, with very little outside assistance if any, with a limited number of staff who he evidently did not feel he could reach out to-- Either because of medical hierarchy nonsense (which is unfortunately a very real issue in actual real life medical systems) or out of a desire to prevent his other staff members, most of whom are junior medics, from potentially getting looped into the deal with Tarn and the DJD themselves. 

Pharma is uniquely effective as what would otherwise be a very stereotypical “mad doctor” type villain, because he is genuinely unwell, and we can understand fairly clearly how that happened-- Even with a lack of much background elaboration on Pharma’s past, and without having all the details of the lead up to where we pick up the Delphi situation. 

Pharma had a mental breakdown under sustained duress which spiralled into far more unhinged actions, but those actions--while not excusable--are at least understandable.

Because what do you do when you’re all alone, you have vulnerable patients at risk, you only have junior medical staff who are part of a terrifyingly small number of available/still alive medics post-war (which must also be taken into consideration when potentially sharing information with them which could place them at greater risk themselves), and the DJD-- a group of people that will kill everyone in the vicinity regardless of anything if their demands are not met-- is knocking on your door? 

It’s likely Pharma fixated on Ratchet because not only is Ratchet an exemplary medic, but because Ratchet seems to be one of the few colleagues Pharma was ever particularly close with in the past. 

In isolation, particularly in prolonged periods of isolation (famously, a few case studies exist involving prisoners held in solitary confinement for at least 12 continuous months, although I won’t link those reports here as they may be genuinely disturbing for some people), it is known that there is often a tendency for people at an intermediate stage of cognitive degradation caused by extreme isolation to mentally fixate on family members, close friends, colleagues, or any person or people they can more easily bring to mind-- People that they have formative or significant memories about, for example. 

(Part of this is simply because it is easier to imagine these better-remembered people in greater detail, which helps provide a slightly greater degree of mental stimulation while in total isolation. Among other reasons, but anyway!)

Ratchet fits that description for Pharma. 

A more mild version of this has also been reported to some degree by several adventurers/explorers, such as those who go on long term expeditions to isolated areas such as high elevation mountain caps--- An apt comparison, given the icy and isolated location Delphi is located in. 

Many explorers who survive gruelling expeditions mention fixating on a photograph of a loved one, or imagining what advice their friends would give them if they were present, or even talking out loud to their friends as if they were there-- Which is also useful for regulating breathing at high altitudes, so this serves multiple physical and mental purposes, for what it’s worth! 

But given the way Pharma monologues to Ratchet towards the end of the Delphi rust plague incident, it very much gives me the vibe that Pharma had likely been fixating on Ratchet for some time prior to Ratchet’s arrival at Delphi, and it may even be indicative that Pharma is at a point of mental stress where he may have been monologuing to an imagined Ratchet prior to where we step into the Delphi situation. 

Which is just my conjecture, as nothing suggests this in-canon, but it wouldn’t surprise me at all if this had been the case to at least some degree. Pharma’s ranting to Ratchet is very effectively unsettling and disturbing, especially with the in-universe context that Pharma in the past had been a very calm and effective medic. 

Stress and isolation and prolonged duress do things to people. Oftentimes, bad things. What happened with Pharma is overwhelmingly sad, and that lends greater weight to how frightening his behaviour is later on. 

This is someone who was unable, for whatever reasons, to get any help dealing with a nightmarish ultimatum under difficult circumstances while in relative isolation, with a lot of responsibility and professional stress bearing down on them throughout. It’s a realistic setup for a brutal downfall.   

Pharma undoubtedly had a connection to Ratchet going back a long way, both personally to some degree as well as professionally, but whatever else may have been going on with him between then and the end of the war, it seems the DJD and Tarn specifically may have ultimately been what pushed his tendencies for high independence and self-motivation towards fuel for obsessive behaviours.

It seems to me as though, to some degree, his obsession with Ratchet may have initially manifested as an attempt to cope and stay on top of things-- At least for a while. Ratchet was a good colleague, a friend, a great example of the type of CMO to aspire to be. 

But the DJD leaves no survivors. Pharma is not an exception; It just took him that much longer to die, and he suffered-- particularly mentally-- the entire time. 

Which doesn’t justify anything he did. But we can understand why he went on to do those things. 

And upon being resurrected as a frame-puppet for a space god, that fixation-- Ratchet as a sole point of focus, warped from being a coping method under isolation and duress to being a genuine full-blown obsession-- continues to drive him through what is, really, a horrendous situation there, too. 

It lets us know that the bots possessed by these gods are conscious, to some degree, in their own processors. They are aware to some degree, but their frames are moving beyond their control, their processors are muddled with the thoughts of a cosmic entity. 

That has potential to be terrifying-- And Pharma is powering through, once again, fixating, raging against impossible circumstances, inevitably failing. 

Pharma is, fundamentally, a doctor who fell prey to manipulation under threat of death and suffered severe mental health challenges as a result, and owing to ultimately being unable to cope, committed atrocities, acts of abuse of power, and violence while developing obsessive fixations with periodic episodes of acute manic behaviour. 

Things only spiralled out from there; Again, not excusing Pharma’s actions, especially as he does seem to have a reasonable degree of clarity/lucidity while in the process of setting up and/or actively committing several heinous acts even when they are bookended by what might be considered manic episodes (I really wish we had more canonical information on how Cybertronian processors function), but we can absolutely understand how he got to this point. 

And it’s rare to see a realistic and understandable “mad doctor” type character, so I appreciate Pharma as being a great example of how to do “mad doctor” correctly. 

Also, it’s hard to make such a character be in any way funny, but even though Drift getting shot is not funny, we can still make the connection that Pharma truly is interested in Ratchet to the degree that in his mind, Ratchet’s periphery-- friends, colleagues, boyfriend-- are targets for him as well.  Which is frightening. And also sort of easy fuel for fandom, which is helpful to offset the horror. 

It gives us an “out” from the potentially depressing background of Pharma, in that we can acknowledge the realistically serious and disturbing nature of his obsession with Ratchet, and the upsetting nature of his downfall, while also being able to say “lol so gay for Ratchet” and do normal gay fandom shit, which makes some of the extreme violence slightly more bearable for us as audience members/readers. (I love gay Pharma memes; I also cried at the end of the Delphi arc, at least twice. All things in good balance, lmao) 

JRO really nailed it with Pharma; This is a character that has been extremely well-written and well presented, especially considering the fairly limited amount that has actually been written for the character! We really only have the Delphi Arc and the somewhat brief later on shenanigans towards the end of Lost Light for any direct content involving Pharma, but we can still piece together this much from that comparatively little. 10/10 Nicely done. 

tl;dr it’s fun to talk about how Pharma is so gay for Ratchet that he overpowered a god in order to shoot Ratchet’s new boyfriend, because yes, but also, holy shit I have feelings about Pharma 

if you read all this, thank you so much! <3 

it genuinely is 3 AM on a Monday morning at the moment, now almost 4 AM LOL, so I have not edited this at all lmao, and I apologise for any errors etc. that there might be. <3 

[Source: Lost Light Issue #22, MTMTE Issue #17]

[hollybell51]

Gentleman

Navigation

Sam Winchester x AFAB!fem!Reader

Supernatural (2005), s03e02 “bloodlust”

Word count: 4.6K

Summary: you and Sam don't exactly see eye to eye with Dean's new friend, so you return to the motel by yourselves. Things... escalate.  

Content: smutty smut smut! Shameless, loving, gentle porn with a bit of a plot. Tooth rotting sappiness and fluff. Bit of hurt/comfort, bit of angst. Reader is just so in love with Sam (I am too dw). Sam is down horrendously bad for the reader (I'm horrendously down bad for him. I cannot emphasise this enough). Use of (Y/N), but not too much. Hickeys, making out, extremely light switchiness (barely noticeable, just healthily flexible dynamics), blowjobs, handjobs, fingering, safe sex, vaginal sex. Hugs all round (someone needed to give these boys one), Dean and the reader get along, Dean has like one soft moment, there's quite a bit of reminiscing and stuff. Gordon's vibes are Off. As above, set during season 2 episode 3.

Notes: HAPPY NEW YEAR MY LOVES! I'm (kinda) back, and my summaries have not gotten any better! Started watching Supernatural and got brainrot. Got lots of stuff planned but probably won't actually write it (sorry). The things I would let these two men do to me is insane like actually insane besties I am not ok. Anyways enjoy the by-product of my suffering, consider this a peace offering as I worm my way into the Supernatural fandom.

Also I have been working sporadically on some requests so if you made one chances are I've seen it and I have started it, but also I have Things in my Life right now that are very Stressful so yeah that's fun but yknow it is what it is, thanks everyone for being so supportive and patient with me xx

To say you were uncomfortable would have been an understatement. It wasn’t just how easily Gordon was talking about what had happened, or the too-bright light in his eyes as he recounted it, or Dean’s ease with the whole thing. It had been a freaking execution! And sure, the guy was a vampire, but the way the saw had just chewed right through his neck, the kicking of his legs as he’d died, the blood spraying over Dean’s face… yeah. As Sam had put it, decapitations weren’t really your idea of a good time. And it certainly wasn’t something you felt like laughing about over drinks. 

You could see Sam’s leg bouncing slightly, his face blank as he stared at the beer he was nursing. Your own stomach twisted with unease. Chances were, if he was on edge, so were you. The emotional interplay wasn’t new, and in fact, Dean gave you endless shit about it. “I don’t know what’s up with you,” he’d say. “I just gotta thank God I don’t develop some freaky emotional feedback loop with every girl I bang.” 

Now, Sam glanced at you, raising an eyebrow. You screwed up your nose. Not enough to be too noticeable, but enough to let him know you thought something was a bit off too. He nodded almost imperceptibly. 

“What’s up with you two?” Dean asked, frowning at your practically untouched beer. 

You shrugged. Sam shrugged. 

Dean rolled his eyes, taking a mouthful of his drink before turning to his new friend. “I swear,” he said, “they read each others' minds. He’s grumpy, she’s grumpy. She’s happy, he’s happy. I reckon if she stubbed her toe, he’d be limping.” 

Gordon barked a laugh, raising his eyebrows. “That so?” 

“Dean, come off it,” you sighed. 

He shook his head, smiling. “Lighten up, both of you.” 

You opened your mouth to say something about how you didn’t think lightening up was really appropriate given the circumstances, but the scraping of Sam’s chair cut you off. 

“I’m not gonna bring you guys down,” he said. “I’m just gonna go back to the motel.” 

“Yeah,” you agreed as he glanced at you, “I’m a bit tired.” 

Dean frowned. “You sure?” 

You nodded, standing. 

“Ok,” he shrugged. “Seeya.” 

“Seeya,” you smiled tightly, then passed him your unfinished beer. “You want this?” 

“You’re not taking it?” 

You shook your head. “Not in a beer sort of mood.” 

He gave you a searching look, then shrugged again and took the drink. “Sure.” 

“Thanks, Gordon.” You nodded to the other hunter. As much as you felt off about him, you didn’t need to be rude. 

He inclined his head back to you. “My pleasure.” 

Sam’s hand settled on your back as you joined him by the door, and you cast a final glance back at the two men remaining at the table. 

“Sammy!” Dean called, the car keys jingling in his hand as he tossed them to his brother. “Remind me to beat that buzzkill outta you later, alright?” 

Sam caught them with ease, Gordon’s enquiry of “something I said?” chasing you out the door. Hell yeah, it was something he said. It was everything he said.  

“Jesus,” you grumbled, shivering in the cold air. 

Sam snorted, absently shrugging off his jacket and handing it to you. Equally thoughtlessly, you put it on. It had become something of a routine. Sam didn’t exactly get too cold very often, but you did. He was many things, and “gentleman” was pretty high on the list by you reckoning. 

“I don’t know about all of this,” he said, feet crunching on the gravel as he headed towards the car. “Something’s…” 

“Off, yeah.” You swung into the passenger seat, arms crossed firmly over your chest. 

“I can’t quite–” The engine cut him off for a moment, but he didn’t finish the sentence anyway. It didn’t matter.

“I know, it’s a brain itch.” 

Sam sighed, shaking his head. “Tell me about it. Seatbelt,” he added as the car rolled out of the parking lot, another habit between the two of you. You could have sworn you’d have been dead years ago if you hadn’t had someone reminding you to use the damn things, a fact that both Winchester brothers were not afraid to attempt to drill into you. They hadn’t had much success. 

You hummed as you clicked the strap across your body, shrinking further down into the seat. You were feeling better now that you weren’t sitting across from Gordon, now that it was just you and Sam. You loved Dean, of course you did, but Sam was just so easy to be around. The two of you clicked, simple as that, and you adored it. 

“I’m gonna call Ellen,” Sam said decisively, frowning at the road. “Maybe she knows him.” 

You nodded. “Mhm, good idea.” 

You were still humming – the melody from something that had been playing on the drive that day, you thought – as you entered the motel room, gulping down a glass of water before jumping onto the kitchen counter. Your heels made a dull thud, thud, thud, on the cupboards as you swung them, the zipper of Sam’s jacket swishing over the cheap vinyl. You watched him take a seat on the bed and dial Ellen. 

You listened idly to his side of the conversation, eventually sliding off the counter top and coming to sit behind him on the bed. You rested your head on his shoulder, sighing. It had been an oddly long day. 

“But I thought you said he was a good hunter,” he was frowning. 

You thought you heard her say “Hannibal Lecter”, and frowned too. Shit, was Gordon some kind of serial killer? You hoped not. 

Sam’s back was warm under your cheek, but his shoulders were tense. The last few weeks hadn’t been easy. You hadn’t known John Winchester well, but the time you’d spent with him had been… Well, it hadn’t been nice exactly, but you could see the love he had for his sons. You couldn’t imagine going through what Sam had, almost losing his brother and then really losing his father in the space of a week. You thought he was handling everything reasonably well, all things considered.

There’d been one moment, just a few days ago, when you’d thought he might crack. Dean had been out like a light in the back of the car, and you’d reached around to snap a photo of him squished up against the window. You’d laughed at it – he looked ridiculous. When you’d glanced up to show Sam, he was staring straight at the road, a muscle in his jaw twitching. 

“Alright?” you’d asked, and he’d nodded.

You’d frowned. “Want me to drive for a bit?”

This time, a head shake.

He wasn’t alright, you could see that clear as day. “Sam, pull over,” you said softly.

He’d swung the car off the road so abruptly you’d jerked against your seatbelt, simply sitting with his foot on the brake and both hands on the steering wheel.

You’d reached over and put the car in park, switching off the ignition. “Come on,” you’d said, “out.” 

He’d leant against the side of the car, arms crossed, staring out into the field you were driving past. 

“Interesting grass?” you’d asked, bumping your shoulder against his. 

He hadn’t smiled exactly, but his mouth had definitely twitched up a bit at the corner. You’d consider that a win. 

“Seriously,” you’d prodded. “What’s up?” 

“I don’t…” He’d trailed off, picking at a loose thread on his shirt. “I can’t…” 

You’d frowned as he’d shaken his head, looking anywhere but you. You’d told yourself something like this was gonna happen eventually, prepped the whole “I’m here no matter what” speech a thousand times, but now you didn’t really know what to do. The only thing you could think of was to put your hand on his back, rubbing slow, soothing circles like your kindergarten teacher used to do when you were upset. 

Sam’s voice was choked when he finally spoke. “I can’t lose you.” 

Four words, but you were convinced your heart had shattered right there. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” you said, stepping to face him. You took his hands in yours, uncrossing his arms.

“How can you–?” 

You cut him off, shaking your head as you raised his hands to your face and kissed his knuckles. “I’m not going anywhere,” you repeated. “Nowhere you can’t follow.” 

He’d just nodded, pulling you into a tight hug. You breathed deeply, the strong smell of the most recent laundromat’s detergent all around you, your fingers bunched in the back of Sam’s shirt. 

“I’ve got your back,” you whispered. “You know that, right?”

“I know,” he murmured into your hair, “I’ve got yours, too.” 

“Good.” You’d pulled away, smiling as you stretched up to kiss him. It was soft and chaste, but that was all either of you needed. 

Then Dean had woken up and shouted at you to save your “romantic moments” for when you weren’t supposed to be driving. You’d grumbled that he was just jealous, which he’d vehemently denied amongst a lot of vomit noises. But later, as you’d waited for Sam to get back with lunch, he’d put his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close to his side. 

“I’m glad he’s got you,” he’d said. “Real glad.” 

“You’ve got me too,” you’d smiled. “Always.” 

He’d just stared at you for a moment, his arm still around you, before he’d cleared his throat and stepped back. “Thanks,” he’d muttered. “‘ppreciate it.”  

Now, with the same softness, you let your hand slide up Sam’s back and across his shoulders, then down his side. You brushed over his chest, down to his stomach, then back up to settle over his heart. You always forgot how big he was until you tried to get your arms around him, then it was like hugging a mountain. You loved it. 

He cleared his throat. 

You smiled, placing a soft kiss where his hair brushed the back of his neck, using your free hand to sweep it away. 

“Ok, yeah,” Sam said to Ellen. He sighed as your lips trailed higher, up under his ear. 

“Mhm, we will.” His fingers curled in the bed covers as you sucked ever so gently at the spot you’d found, the one you knew drove him insane. 

“Yep, alright. Thanks, Ellen.” A forceful swallow as you rubbed slow patterns across his front, nothing but the thin material of his shirt separating your hand from his skin. 

“Ok. Bye.” 

You smiled as the phone beeped, then was thrown to the bed. You eased your hand under his shirt, shivering as your fingers met the warm expanse of his torso. You could touch him like this forever, if you were given the chance. 

“What’re you doing?” he breathed, tilting his head back, baring his throat. 

“Kissing you,” you whispered as you moved down the muscle of his neck, “touching you,” as your hand ran gently over his pectoral, thumb grazing his nipple. 

“Mm, do I get to kiss you too?” 

You smiled. “If you ask nicely, yeah.” 

“Please?” 

“Hm?”

He sighed. “(Y/N), come on.” 

“Nope,” you laughed softly. “Ask nicely.” 

You felt his chest heave under your hand, and you pressed your mouth to his neck again. 

“Pretty please,” he murmured. 

You pretended to be considering this for a moment, dragging it out. Truth be told, you wanted him to kiss you just as much as he wanted to, but God it was fun teasing a bit. Especially like this, when it was you draped over his back, hinting at giving him hickeys, touching wherever you pleased. 

“Go ahead,” you replied. 

Before you could even draw another breath he’d turned and brought his hand up to cup your face, pressing his lips against yours. You let him lick into your mouth, his tongue sliding languidly alongside your own, the faint taste of beer still clinging to him. It was all so soft and gentle and full of care, everything you adored about him. 

He shifted back on the bed, turning to face you. Your hands were still under his shirt, arm still stretched across his body as he pushed against you. 

“I love this on you,” he murmured as his hands found the opening of his jacket, pushing it back over your shoulders. 

You smiled. “You want me to take it off?” 

“And this.” He plucked at the t-shirt you wore underneath, already coaxing it upwards. 

“Alright,” you laughed, batting his hands away. “Patience is a virtue.” 

“Whoever said that clearly never met you.” 

You looked away, hoping to hide the pink you could feel flooding your cheeks. However many times you did this, Sam never failed to get you flustered. You could sense his eyes on you as you stripped yourself of your shirt and his jacket, the intensity of his gaze sending shivers down your spine.

He started to shuffle back further onto the bed, one hand settling on your waist as he leant down to kiss along your jaw. You sighed, your mind halfway made up to just let him keep going like that. But no. 

“Uh-uh,” you said, pushing him gently off you. 

“What do you–? Oh.” 

You smiled as you slid off the bed, kneeling between his legs. You ran your hand up his thigh, deftly undoing his belt and fly. Heck, you’d had practice. “Can I?”

“Yes,” he nodded quickly. “God, yes.” 

You rolled your eyes, gesturing to his pants. “Well you gotta help me out a bit, yeah?” 

“Sorry,” he grinned, shedding them in one smooth motion.

“And those.” You pointed at his underwear. 

“Yes, your highness.” 

“Damn right,” you muttered as you kissed your way up his thigh, nipping gently at the skin of his hip. He smelled of the soap from last night’s motel room, faint but still there, a little sweat from the night’s earlier action. You could taste it where your tongue touched him, and man was it good.

His voice was breathy when he asked, “You gonna keep teasing me forever?” 

“Maybe.” You watched as goosebumps appeared where your breath tickled him, smiling to yourself. 

“Is that what’s got you smiling like that?” 

You sat back on your heels, arms resting on his knees as you looked up at him. He was so gorgeous, the shitty neon lighting of the room glancing off his hair in a kind of halo. You thought your next words through very carefully. 

“No,” you said slowly. “I’m thinking about how your cock’s gonna feel in my mouth. How you’re gonna say my name when I’ve got you so deep down my throat I’m almost gagging. I bet you won’t be able to keep your hands off me, I’ll make you feel so good.” 

Sam’s mouth fell open, his hands twitching where they rested on the duvet. 

“What do you think?” 

He swallowed. “I think I’m not even gonna take you up on that bet, I think you’re right.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Ok then.” You smiled, leaning forward and taking his dick in your hands. It was hard and warm to the touch, already leaking precum. You licked down, then up again, swirling your tongue around the head. 

“Fuck,” he hissed. “Please, (Y/N).” 

“You want me to suck it?” 

“Yes. Please.” 

You shrugged. “Since you asked so nicely.” You sank your mouth down onto him, your hands working what wouldn’t fit. Sam’s thighs tensed, and you moved. You could have stayed like that forever, you thought, just holding him in your mouth. You had half a mind to ask about that, actually. 

Sam moaned, his fingers twisting in the covers as you pulled your head back, then forward again, sucking and licking along his length. You’d wanted to take your time at first, tease him and see how long it took for him to be fisting your hair and moving your head for you. But now, breathing in the smell of him, feeling the weight and the heat of him, you were losing your composure. 

“Oh my God,” he whispered as you increased your speed, your hand moving in tandem with your mouth. His dick was slick with your spit and only getting messier, something you might have been embarrassed about in the past. Now it turned you on. 

You moaned, the vibrations jolting Sam’s hips despite his best efforts. You gave a tiny huff of laughter out your nose, lowering your head even further until the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat. 

“(Y/N),” he panted. “Shit, (Y/N).” 

“Hm?” You glanced up at him, your eyes watering slightly. He made a sound you’d thought only existed in pornos – before you met him, that was – as his hand finally flew to your hair, his fingers carding through it. He was trying so hard to be gentle, and you loved him for it. 

“You look so hot like that,” he whispered. “How’re you so fucking hot?” 

You smiled, your enthusiasm doubling. You vividly remembered a conversation you’d had with Sam and Dean in the car once, where Dean had proclaimed that “there are blowjobs, and then there are blowjobs.” Sam had turned and looked at you, raising an eyebrow. Dean had yelled at you both and told you to get a room. What you were doing right now was definitely a blowjob, and you were loving every second of it. 

“I’m gonna cum,” Sam was panting, “(Y/N) oh my God I’m gonna cum.” 

His fingers tightened in your hair, his head thrown back and his cock twitching in your mouth. You went all in, sucking and licking and jerking with everything you had in you. 

Yes, you thought as you swallowed everything he gave you, basking in his muttered curses and groans like they were water and you were a wilted houseplant. This was heaven, right here. Every time you watched him come undone, you were completely convinced it couldn’t get any better than this. And without fail, the next time it did. 

He was still panting as you licked him clean, as gently as you could. His hand had settled on your shoulder, large fingers caressing your skin so tenderly it made you want to cry. 

“You ok?” you asked, sitting back. You patted his knee, watching his face carefully. He was flushed, a light sheen of sweat sticking some of his hair to his forehead. You hadn’t really paid much attention at the time, but now you wished you’d made him take off his shirt too. You loved watching his chest heave as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Ok?” he echoed, opening his eyes. He grinned. “I’m more than ok.” 

You smiled back, licking your lips. “Good.” 

“Come up here,” he said, patting his leg. “And take off your pants.” 

“Magic word?”

“Please.” Then, on second thoughts, “pretty please.” 

You laughed, but got up and shed your jeans anyway. You slid onto his lap, straddling his thigh and wrapping your arms around his neck. He kissed you softly, holding you close against him. The material of his shirt tickled your skin, very noticeably baring you from the silken warmth of his skin. 

“Off,” you said against his lips, plucking at the garment. 

“Off,” he repeated, tracing the line of your underwear. 

Almost perfectly in sync, the two of you shed the offending clothing. 

“I love this,” he whispered as he reached behind you, deftly unfastening your bra and pulling it away from you. He set it aside carefully, almost reverently, then bent his head and fastened his mouth to your breast. “Hey,” he said after a moment, frowning. 

You frowned too. “What’s wrong?” 

His finger traced a delicate circle over your other breast, tapping at a spot just above your nipple. “What’s this?” 

You squinted at the area, then laughed. The faded yellowish bruise wasn’t all that visible, but of course Sam would find it. 

“What is it?” 

“It’s a hickey. From you. From last time.” 

His face cleared. “Shit, didn’t realise it’d last that long. Sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” you smiled. “Makes me think of you whenever I see it.” 

“Maybe I should give you more, then.” 

Your grin widened. “Please.”

“Mm?” 

You rolled your eyes. “Pretty please.” 

“Ok.” He bent once more, sucking a matching spot into your unmarked breast. Then he added another one beside it, and a third right in the middle of your sternum. 

“No more low cut tops, I guess,” you sighed, stifling a moan as he moved downwards with another. 

“Shame,” he murmured into your skin, “I love those low cut tops.” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

“I’d be insane not to.” 

You laughed, then gasped as he ran his hand up your thigh. 

“Relax,” he said. 

“I’m relaxed, I’m so relaxed.” 

“Your heartbeat says you’re lying.” 

“That’s for you,” you told him, meeting his eyes. “That’s what you do to me.” 

“And this?” His finger darted between your legs, sliding easily with how wet you were. 

“Yeah,” you gasped, “all for you.” 

He cursed softly, then lowered you gently onto the bed. He propped himself half over you, half beside you, his hand stroking down over your stomach, your hips, around your pelvis. 

“Please,” you moaned. “Sam, please.” 

“Please what?” 

“Touch me. Please,” you added as an afterthought. 

“Nice manners,” he noted, rubbing achingly slow circles over your clit. 

You gripped his arm, fingers digging into the muscle as he bent and resumed his assault on your breasts. 

“You take such good care of me,” he continued, his voice muffled slightly by your soft flesh. “You always take such good care of me.”

“Cause I love you,” you whispered. 

“Mhm, you gonna let me take care of you too?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Of course.” 

“Good.”

You whined at the loss of his fingers on your clit, then bit your lip to quiet what would have been a loud moan as he slipped the finger inside you. The heel of his hand ground against your sensitive bundle of nerves, his finger putting just the right pressure in just the right places. You’d be a mess in no time, and you both knew it. 

“Fuck, Sam,” you panted, your back arching as you chased the feeling. 

“Hm?” His chest was warm where it pressed against your side, the muscles of his arm rippling subtly under the skin where your fingers dug into him. His free hand stroked your shoulder, his mouth busy littering your chest with hickeys. You could feel him growing hard again against your thigh. 

“Fuck me?” you half asked, half offered. 

He grunted softly at your words, nodding. “Got a condom?” 

“Mhm, yeah, sure. One sec.” You reached over to your jeans, rummaging in the pockets until you struck gold. Or foil, you supposed. You watched as Sam tore it open and slid it on, as easily as if he was tying shoelaces. He’d gotten stupidly fast at putting the things on, courtesy of the whole “Dean could get back any minute so let’s just be as fast as we can” element you so often found yourselves dealing with. You weren’t complaining. 

“Ready?” he asked, positioning himself between your legs. You rocked your hips gently, feeling his hardness pressed against your dripping centre. 

He nodded, then softly slid inside you. You both gasped at the feeling, the familiar stretch and the warmth of it. It was like he was made for you, the way he fit. 

“Fuck,” you whispered, your fingers twisting in the duvet. 

“Alright?” he asked, and you nodded. 

“Move,” you urged him. He did, slow and gentle. The light was doing that thing with his hair again, and you wanted nothing more than to run your fingers through it. Brush it off his forehead, kiss him there, smooth the faint worry line that seemed to be present more and more frequently. You’d do anything to make it disappear forever. 

“You feel so good,” he murmured, leaning forward to deliver more kisses to your chest. You were gonna have a whole forest of hickeys when you were done.  

“You feel good,” you replied. Your breath was coming short, a light sheen of sweat gathering over your skin even though you weren’t the one doing all the work. 

“Touch yourself,” he encouraged you, “I want you to cum while I’m fucking you.” 

“Shit, ok,” you replied, reaching down and running a finger in tiny circles over your clit. You loved how easily you could give and take control with him, how quickly and smoothly you could switch roles when you wanted to. It wasn’t just in bed, either, and you adored it. You adored him.

Your own hand combined with the steady thrusting of his dick was perfect. You weren’t going to last long, and judging by Sam’s shuddering breaths and muttered curses, your name sprinkled throughout, neither was he. 

“(Y/N), fuck,” he moaned, his abdominal muscles twitching and tensing. 

“I’m gonna cum,” you gasped as you felt the tightness coiling inside you, more, more, more– “Holy fuck, I’m gonna–” You released with a frantic cry of his name, your spine arching and your legs locking around his hips. You felt yourself contract around his dick, the stuttering of his strokes as he too reached his climax. 

He slowed eventually, coming to a stop as the tremors receded from your body and your brain returned to your head. You were spent, content to lie there with his warm, comforting weight on top of you until the world stopped turning. 

He rolled off you, peeling off the condom and tying it neatly before tossing it to the floor to be disposed of later. You turned to face him, your head resting on his bicep, his other arm draped over your side. His hand stroked your back, soft and loving. 

You smiled as you reached up, sweeping the hair from his face. “You good?” you murmured, cupping his cheek gently. 

He nodded, leaning forward to kiss you softly. You reciprocated, then stretched up and placed a kiss on his forehead. 

“How about you?” he asked. 

“I’m great.” Then you sighed, your thumb stroking tiny arcs across the curve of his cheekbone. “You’re so beautiful,” you whispered. 

“Look at you,” he answered. “You’re so beautiful.”  

You closed the few inches of space between you, pressing your lips to his. “I really do love you,” you said as you pulled away. “So much.” 

He smiled. “I know, I love you too. More than anything.” 

You went to kiss him again, but his phone buzzed and you froze. He groped for it blindly, frowning. You’d both learnt the hard way that if his phone went off and Dean wasn’t with you, it was best to check it. 

Sam snorted, flipping it around for you to see. 

The text, from Dean, was two sentences. “Back in 1/2 hour. Get decent.” 

“Screw you, Dean.” 

Sam laughed, tossing the phone to the side. “I guess we’ve got half an hour.” 

“I’m taking a shower then,” you said. “I saw a vending machine, like, right outside, and I really want a soda right now.” 

“I’ll get you a soda if you let me take the shower with you?” 

“Deal.” You held out your hand as if to shake on it, but he kissed it instead. Yeah, “gentleman” was definitely high up on that list. 

[youdontloveme-yet]

[It is the law] or a GMMTV 2023 line up's worst commentary. (part1)

Hello, my dudes and cryptids. Don't lie I know some of y'all are cryptids. Anyway, I said I will make the worst commentary for the new GMMTV line up, and so I am delivering. If somebody gets offended by something I've said - fuck you. That is all.

We all know what the gmmtv2023 line up is and apparently "diversity" in their dictionary is disability or weird conditions. So let's get to it.

Enigma

Starring: Prim Chanikan, Win Metawin, Piploy Kanyarat; Director: O Patha Thongpan; Genre: Horror, Suspense;

Interestingly enough the trailer starts with a Nietzsche quote, which sets the bar somewhere high, but at the same time, not the entirety of that quote is included, which I find kind of weird, since it is a horror series. What I mean with that? Well, the whole quote is as follows:

“Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”

– Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil

I cannot comprehend why this was left out, when we are obviously going to be dealing with demons (monsters). Whatever, I am nitpicking I guess.

Typical school setting, because yes, that is exactly where all the occult shit always happens. Nothing new here. I’m guessing there is dimensional jumping, if I’m judging by the trailer. A person with a snap off blade that looks like it can give you some tetanus, is seen, which if I may add is not very creative. Can we finally have people with actual knives for once? Or swords. Swords are good. Anyway, is that supposed to be a girl holding the knife? Because in the shot with the knife it is definitely a man holding it. Some cool shots of occult shit - nice touch. Oh and our FL’s picture being cut into. Some more occult shots, because why the fuck not? There’s always something wrong with the school. We been knew. Students going crazy, yada-yada. The depiction of schools in Thailand is always horrific. The stress, the pressure, I can see why the favourite setting for horror is the schools. There always has to be one person to drown, it is the law. Can you imagine this occult shit happening every year and your parents not moving you to another school? Parents in this show will not be included as actual characters, it is against the law. They do not exist, these students are entirely on their own, it is the law. The new teacher is a socio, how surprising. (probably doesn’t shower as well). I love black magic, but too many western/christian ideas into this shit. Crosses, really? Thailand is a Buddhist country, no? Who the fuck holds a person’s face like that? It seems it is the socio teacher… oh, well, let’s hope he washed his hands. Suddenly has tattoos and jiggly things around his neck - kitsch. And we continue with the western symbolism. Ah, yes, putting that cape on makes you look so much cooler in front of the faiting student. Oh, my favourite - closing doors with the snap of the fingers. I’m guessing it is supposed to look seductive or whatever… it doesn’t. Ah, sorry, he can do more than just closing doors apparently. Who knew?

Well, it tries to look promising. But I am very much on the fence if it could actually deliver. Love me suspenseful horror, but I don’t see how GMMTV can execute this. Also, I cannot believe how many roles Prim has lined up!! I will indeed be watching for her only.

Conclusion: will definitely try watching it, but emphasising on the “try” part.

A Boss And A Babe

Starring: Book Kasidet, Force Jiratchapong (and other gmmtv people); Director: New Siwaj Sawatmaneekul Genre: Romance

It’s those dudes, whose names I keep forgetting every time.

At first I was “ah! A gaming series!”, but nope, not really anyway. I want his setup, ngl. But I would beat the shit out of him with that smugness. Annoying. Ah, no, they used the nickname of one of my favourite pro players, oh gods. The team is introduced. None of these people look like they can play games. Unrealistic. Where are the bags under their eyes or the dark circles? You say you play for 30hrs a day, which does not exist in the first place, yet you look as if you got out of a cryo chamber or whatever. Next thing you know, the 30hrs guy has an office job. Downgrade, my dude, very big downgrade. He’s the boy for everything in that office, as per the law. Yeah, nobody can convince me this guy has that amount of energy. The boss is grumpy, and the boy for everything is stupid, as is the law. What are we gonna do if there is no awkward bathroom scene? Most romantic thing is to ask your crush to dinner, while he’s taking a shit. The boss has no boundaries whatsoever. Oh, yes, the courting rituals are very intricate, borderlining with psychopathy. Typical trope, nothing to see here. Yes, ask your friends about love. The thing you are too much of an infant to understand. Stupid advice as is the law. He has an ASMR channel ?? Why the fuck are you doing an office job, if you are a pro player and have an ASMR channel? That makes you more money than that shitty office job, brother. This is not a real gamer. This Force guy is kind of attractive in a suit. I guess they have sex, idk. Wait. “Don’t act like main character in a novel who confesses his love when the other is asleep.” Who comes up with these lines. It is not even cheesy, just bland and cringe. Oh, he says it, okay. That is forgiven. Boss guy is done. And so am I.

Oh, another thing. Whoever comes up with these titles, I hope your socks are wet. Also, have in mind this is a New series, meaning that there’s the possibility this series will be progressing extremely slow.

Conclusion: looks kind of boring. All over the place plot. Overused trope of stupid office romance. Might take a look, but I doubt it.

Find Yourself

Starring: (a majority of people you don’t know) Nonkul Chanon, Aff Taksaorn, Earth Pirapat and other gmmtv lakorn people; Director: Petch Varayu Ruksku Genre: Business, Romance, Drama (it’s a lakorn)

Have these people been courting since the dark ages or what? I do not understand the constant nagging about having a younger partner, when you are female. Never will and never will try to understand. ‘Tis bullshit. Homeboy is very awkward, so I like him. So, she’s almost 40 and single? What about it? Stupid archaic tropes. Okay, homeboy has balls now, being all touchy-touchy. Are you looking for a sugar mommy, my son? Cute montage of them doing couple shit - 7/10 I’ve seen better. Ah, yes, the drunk first time. Classic. Girl, you are almost 40, can you not act like a 15 year old who just lost her virginity? Too much screaming. And ofc there is the accusatory “what did you do to me?” idk, babe, maybe you both initiated in sinful acts. This is per the law. Now she feels like a whore or some shit. Apparently sleeping with someone is the worst thing you can do. The mother is creepy, as is the law. And we continue with my least favourite thing - meddling in other people’s affairs. Ma’am your daughter is 40, why are you sending her brother to figure out who she’s dating. Stupid trope. Never let people come out with their partners on their own, it is against the law. Ah, yes, some dude taking a video of girls dancing or whatever. Classic. Now he has an accomplice in this bullshit. This girl is cute, but they are all psychos. Yes, everyone is dating, but there has to be that one guy who says it can’t be true. And the girl who apparently has ownership of the guy, even tho he really is not aware of that, bless his soul. Stupid one-liners. Again with the age garbage. Now, there’s an old man, idk what his deal is, but if I have to guess - to make drama. So, she likes him, but the age thing is a thing, how boring. What the fuck is a 3-month relationship trial, this is not a game or some astrological site behind a pay wall, girl. Another cute montage. Oh, they kiss… finally, I guess? Sign. What sign do you even need? You like him, he likes you, are you batshit insane or something?

Conclusion: it’s a lakorn. Looks cute, has an age gap - will watch.

Double Savage

Starring: Ohm Pawat, Perth Tanapon, Film Rachanun; Director: ??? Genre: Action

Starts off gritty and looks violent, I approve. Oh, not a terrible fighting scene, this is new. From the get-go we have the good and the bad. Who is who, we are yet to see. Aren’t these people like brothers or some shit, why so mad? Foei with a gun to a dude’s head, pretty sure I’ve watched this before. Good fight tho, enjoyed it. I can tell you from here that Foei’s character jerks off to men fighting. Ah, yes, the stare down. Good old stare down. Woah, jail? This doesn’t sound like giving him an option, jerkface. More like a threat. Disowning your children the moment the fuck up? Classic parents. This is very allowed per the law. Ohm and his staring through your soul, peak acting. Oh, no, he thinks he is irredeemable. I mean, unless you’ve killed someone I don’t see how you’re such a big bad criminal, my son. Why the fuck is Perth’s character mad? His brother got kicked out, not him. Calm your balls, boy, the world hasn’t stopped spinning. They keep calling him a criminal. Idk what this is about, but it sounds greatly exaggerated. Ofc there is a girl, it is by the law to like your brother’s girl. A fighting montage. This is right up my alley - more fighting, less talking, like in the stone age. Oh, no, the popo are involved - the horror. All of this for a girl. I’ll act surprised - GASP, IT IS ABOUT THE GIRL. Yeah, I can bet you all that he hasn’t done something so criminal. Foei and his psycho characters. Good touch. Always appreciated. I’d shoot him tho. Won’t even wait for his clown act before I pull the trigger. “Between blood brothers” is the “blood” that needed? Yeah, we kind of got the idea that they’re biological brothers. These people talk too much and shoot too little. You might as well blow both your brains out, that’d be fun.

Conclusion: will watch, let’s hope there is less talking in the actual series and more fighting and stare downs.

Hidden Agenda

Starring: Dunk Natachai, Joong Archen, Aou Thanaboon; Director: Tee Bundit Sintanaparadee Genre: Romance

Alpha rule of trailers: start with a cliche quote about love. Idk if it is the translation or the actual quote, but it sounds so weird. Ah, Louis! My child is in whatever the fuck this series will be. Wait, didn’t he say the same thing in Star In My Mind? University setting I’m guessing. Yes, we are definitely not sick and tired of the university thing. I mean, it could’ve been high school, which is much worse, but still. He’s stupid. This is literally the plot of half of the shows out there. The boy who wants a relationship, the popular girl that he will never have and the guy who will creepily pursue him. I haven’t finished the trailer yet. Show her you’re so manly bro, even if you look like a wet noodle. Seeking advice from HER ex? What have y’all been smoking, because that’s some otherwordly shit right there. His name is JOKE, hahahahah. I’m gonna watch it just to make fun of his name I swear. Ofc, he’s a jerk, it is the law. Wait, so it’s Zo and Joke… sounds like the worst possible joke. Can you imagine the ship name tho. I’m losing it here. Personal space who? He asks you to help him and you ask him to spend the night with you ?? If somebody told me that I’d get a restraining order. Taking notes, as if that will help you when the guy next to you will definitely do you before you do her. There has to be a study date, it is against the law to not have one. The staring. There was only one bed. Ah, yes, the stranger into whose home you went, now snuggles with you, this is by the law. Cute gays want kids. I hope you can adopt like 5, my dudes. Weird one liners, more intense staring. Then we have people not minding their business as is by law. Denial. Pushing him to be uncomfortable. Because that is exactly how you get in a relationship with someone. Okay, he’s not talking about the girl. Thought so, but I had to get sure. Smol guy gets annoyed, I am pretty sure this is Star In My Mind. Weird debate. So, I guess he got with the girl, who would’ve guessed. Joke is jealous. Girl needs help for who-knows what bullshit. But ofc, as is by the law, she would go to her ex, not her current partner, because that makes so much sense. And here somebody is gonna say “but, Ra, they have a bond!” and all I will hear is the voices in my head, not yours tho. Oh, no the secret. Could it be that he’s gay and people are once again too nosy? Oh, no, he lied. Local angry noodle throws paper at man who lied to him. You cannot trust anyone, bro, don’t try it. This is the drama world, you can’t trust even your mother. Ah, yes, cry on the shoulder of the next man that will lie to you. Smart. By the law, you have to be possessive of the person who probably wants you dead. Some angry grown ups. Idk what their deal is, but they might as well kiss with all that stupid tension. How many people wanna have this Zo guy ?? Confrontation done wrong. People giving weird looks as we read their names. Now you ask him not to hit on the girl. The hypocrisy is crisp. So, all is forgiven? The magical forgiveness is here by the law, okay? You won’t get it. They be smoochin’.

Conclusion: 50/50. Might try it only because it is the director of Lovely Writer. But I am pretty convinced this is at least 90% what happened in Star In My Mind.

23.5

Starring: Milk Pansa, Love Pattranite, Gemini Norawit; Director: Fon Kanittha Kwunyoo

Congratulations, my dudes, we made it! I don’t know who made a human sacrifice for this, but your jail time is not in vain. Anonymous chatting is my go-to romance bullshit. It never disappoints really. Cute conversation, some weird shit about the Earth and Sun, which sounds relatable and is probably some profound metaphor, but I am not here for that. Ah yes, walking past the person you are actively flirting with, can be a coincidence only in a drama, otherwise is pretty much stalking. Gotta love Milk’s backpack. The hat is stupid tho. Don’t be creepy, my girl. Ah, yes, seduction through knowledge. Gotta add some sadness to it, such is the law. Babygirl, we are all nobodies, chill. She’s not the center of the universe, she is just extroverted as fuck, while you probably stutter when speaking. Pretty sure you’re the only one spinning around her, but okay. More nerdy talk, because that is indeed hot as hell. No creepy staring, babygirl, you are better than this. Ah, yes, the “i must hide my feelings trope, cuz that person is out of my league” grow a pair, girlie. Ofc they all think it is a guy, how very heterosexual of them. Some creeping around. I’m guessing this is the rival or whatever. Or not, which is great. Let’s mope around instead of hyping ourselves up and actually talk to her. Because that always works so well. What do you mean she has the guts?? Are y’all insane? She’s literally hiding. Drama logic, as is the law, make no sense. Supportive friends I approve of, tho. So you are forgiven for being stupid. Love’s character asking the real questions. I mean, it could be some hobo, but she got the right spirit. Some cute moments in the gym are absolutely mandatory. More looking. Oh, there are gays here? This is some elementary school type of behaviour. What’s next? Pulling his hair and biting him in front of the class? And he continues throwing things at him. Take him home, but for the love of anything holy stop throwing stuff at him. Oh, no, she figured it out! Be distressed for nothing. Especially when she’s literally pining you at the book shelf. Gay panic. THEY CUTE AS SHIT BRO. I want what they have. Face rubs are cool. We continue with the profound astronomy metaphors I just can’t deal with right now. Overall good shit.

Conclusion: 100% watch, no need to even elaborate.

Phro Thoe Khue Rak Raek

Starring: Dew Jirawat, Prim Chanikan, Neo Trai; Genre: Romance

A lot of Prim and Dew this year. Delightful. For me, idk about you people.

I don’t like her with that ginger hair, makes her look older, not my jam. I can and I will complain about this when her series air. It’s a first love story. Not that anyone is surprised or anything. Girl, that’s some bomb-ass outfit and I need it. Guess half of the show will be in the past… or the majority. Ladies and gentleman, we are back at square one - grumpy guy and the girl who fell for him. I hope she’s not stupid. Height difference oh my. She’s literally like his child. How fucking tall is this guy?? Like 180? He makes you smile, yet he never fucking smiles at you. That’s just sad. I mean, you literally had him take space in your head. The memories of all the times he just straight up ignored your existence? Damn, girl, you thirsty. Jealousy, my beloved. Why is it always Neo tho? He’s like the go-to guy when you need jealousy. Now the tall motherfucker reacts. The confusion is mutual. He left. The drama. The irony. The cliche. Yes, pretending you’re not staring at him works every time. Hiding behind a notebook in a very non-suspicious way. It is the law, you won’t get it. Girl, if you look at me like that with that slow head turn, I can and I will turn into a human puddle. Adorable. I want to punch him in the face. Ruin it a bit, y’know. She smiles and he’s stoic as fuck. I’m punching you brother, I swear. Pretty doe eyes. Woah, he finally smiled, can you imagine. I still want to punch him tho.

Conclusion: will watch, but will be angry about it. Mostly because he never smiles at her.

Cooking Crush

Starring: Off Jumpol, Gun Atthaphan, Mark Pakin, Neo Trai; Genre: Food, Romance;

Okay, the first thing I said when this started was “another cooking flop”, because let’s be real here, they are bad at making cooking series. And that is that.

Anyway, some cool ass shots of food being prepared, because that’s how you know it is about cooking. Per law, it is mandatory that he is nothing less but a TOP CHEF. Hands. Gourme. Pretty boy. This guy is a fucking disaster. How in all hell is he a top chef? Yes, because grabbing the extinguisher is the hardest thing one could possibly imagine. Maybe if one of these absolute idiots removed the hat from his head and dropped it in the sink all of this could’ve been much easier. It is the idiot trio, maybe a disaster trio? Something along the lines, I am not good with words, shut up. A cooking competition? Wasn’t he like a TOP CHEF? Misleading intro. 10 million baht sounds cool and all, but it really is like 270k euro or something along the line. Oh, so the old dude is the top chef. The intro continues to be confusing. What does simple food even have to mean? Not putting black pepper and honey in one or what? Don’t mind me, I am everything but a food person. That is a necessity, idc about food beyond that. Off just appears out of nowhere. Who the fuck are you and why are you leaning on him like that? Fucking creep.Do they even know each other? This is so confusing. “From dog food to doc food” is legit the worst pun I have ever seen. This boy ain’t cheap, damn. Straight away with the fee, I feel you bro, that’s the way to go. You be calling him a fool, but you’re both fools. I can smell it from a mile away. He cannot hold a fucking knife. I would nope out of there is somebody held a knife like that. Neo’s character being the relatable one again. Fi-fi ??? No, no, don’t learn his name please, call him Fi-fi, it is most entertaining. My son, you are anything but fire with that ugly ass shirt. Please sit down. Love me some self proclaimed playboys. And a monster? I don’t think that you scared him, more like turned him on, because it is drama logic and these types of weird outbursts usually mean that for whatever reason. Yes, licking food off of the hand of the person you like is mandatory, you know it’s the law. Woah, bro, no need to make it gay. I too would be shocked. This is unhygienic. I’d freak out and punch him, that’s disgusting. Only 16?? I have friends who used to sleep in the university. Weak shit. Is he learning to cook for a girl? Weak shit x2. Another top chef, it’s like they’re selling them at the market with the fish. “For the price of one fish, you get a top chef for free!” or some shit like that. Top chef #2 wants some twink for dinner that’s for sure. Pure unfiltered jealousy as it is meant by the law. How the fuck did you deceive him? He didn’t learn how to cook or what? That would be only his fault really. Ah, the classic Off stare, has to be one of my favourite stupid faces. What funny business, my man? Oh yeah, give it up for spilling secrets, because this is purely platonic. Back hugs my most beloved. That yellow sweater is gorgeous and I want it. Did he just punch top chef #2? So, Neo and Mark are a thing now? I would never understand people carrying others bride style while unconscious. I am pretty sure that arm behind his neck has to fall off if he ain’t awake. But then again, by the law, this is a mandatory scene. Yeah, he does look heavy to carry around. But pulling him up like this may as well break his spine, this is stupid. Please, don’t fucking do this, guys. As usual, we have a dead parent, because it cannot be a good drama if we don’t have a tragedy along the line. The gay chase! Hugging and crying. Weird seductive noodle eating, as is by law. Do you like the food or him? I think you be lying about his food. Yeah, we’re not talking about food, damn. Awkward hand holding is my jam. And some weirdly animated stuff just floating around.

Conclusion: looks weird, 50/50 on this.

Wednesday Club

Starring: a bunch of people y’all know. Director: ??? Genre: Romance (?)

I don’t think anyone quite understands what this show is about. Star cast tho. Might flop.

What is this weak ass russian roulette? Choosing between friendship and justice sounds as dumb as it gets really. There’s like 10 of them, yet they chose to be crammed up in the smallest of spaces. Peak stupid. Mandatory squad shot. Can’t know who is in the squad without that shot. It is the law. These skinny motherfuckers be running nakes. Why is the guy next to Ohm so fucking pale ?? Somebody has to take the video I guess and girls absolutely love watching men’s ding-dong swing left and right while they run. It is definitely not the funniest shit. They definitely did not hit each others ding-dong while pushing each other, this is purely heterosexual. The popo is here! Always ruining the fun, huh. So you’re trying to tell me these fuckers meet after 2 of them run nakes on a fucking roof. Shit on the popo, as you should. Party time. Fancy bar. The middle children club. Can Jane be less pretty or do I have to constantly suffer? Oh, no, let’s make it dramatic that we are middle children. The outcasts. Poor rich kids. People like you? Brother, you ain’t a minority or whatever. This guy is a theatre kid. You guys need rules for friendship? My confusion grows. Is she taking a blood bath? This boy is like he has never seen money in his life. Greedy motherfucker. Slave? Ew. Not the sister, bro. You be breaking the bro code, bro. How dare you? Actual backstabbing? This trailers is confusing. Is this guy a freak or something? That looks like a cut scar, so maybe he’s into that shit and that’s why he doesn’t want to say. No romantic shit, says who? Yeah, because you can actually stop that shit from happening. Foolish. I am not understanding the russian roulette reference of this show. And they all got into a fucking fight I guess. Is the gun loaded this time? It better be or I am suing.

Conclusion: lots of pretty faces, huge confusion on my part. Will watch tho, I’m curious.

Last Twilight

Starring: Sea Tawinan, Jimmy Jitaraphol, Namtan Tipnaree; Director: Aof Noppharnach Chaiwimol Genre: Romance

The other two dudes, whose names I cannot remember. Nothing personal, you guys, I know you love to get offended at such things.

Ooh, bad boy mechanic vibe. Nope, nvm, I saw those atrocious jeans. I take my words back. More like wet towel boy. So, you can buy cigarettes, but you cannot pay your debts. Your maths suck I’m sure. Namtan pretty. Some poll going on. Idk how he can play poll when he has no money, but okay. It feels like she’s trying to set him up to be gigolo and I absolutely love that. She’s not unfortunately. Yep, wet towel boy. Fancy house. This is the mother I see in every show now. She plays all the good ones tho, so may she proceed to do so. This guy be going blind, damn. Sorry for your loss, my dude. Or whatever the fuck you say for shit like that. Why is he in a wheelchair? I thought he was only sight impaired. He makes the job sound like the worst in the world. Some self loathing going on around I see. Another wet towel boy. This is the wet towel boys series. Ahahah, straightforward NO. He looks so stupid. He just basically told him he’s a buffoon, didn’t he? “Can you read?” I am dying here. Yes, make fun of the man who will take care of you, that just never ends bad. I hope we get to know what the accident was. Very grumpy. Ah, we have the grumpy + stupid trope again. It is by the law that you make jokes about the disability of your employer. My dude still wants a pity party, who is he trying to lie to? Continue to be grumpy, doesn’t want help, while actually hiring a guy to help him. Logic at its finest. Why the fuck are you smoking in a non-smoker’s house bro ?? Go outside, these people rich, they have big yards and all. This is just poor manners. He can definitely walk by himself. If walking is defined as being on all fours. The gay shaving. This guy has balls, gotta admit. But with that smoking, I doubt he wants you to be too close. I want someone to explain to me what in the burning hell is a water curtain supposed to be? Weird gay mating ritual. Some flirting. They just made it sound like he’s dying, not going blind. “You have only 180 days. Make them count!” Or some other generic anime line. Despair. Depression. Namtan being a queen teaching the stupid gay what to do. Dramatic lying on the bed ying-yang style. Pining. The mating rituals are sophisticated and difficult, okay? Beach shots are kind of mandatory, it is the law. This guy has superpowers, but I can bet you that he would never guess what a person is online. So far with your powers, huh? Some more awkward flirting, but with face touches this time. We are progressing quite nicely. No smoochin’ here I guess, just some shoulder lean. Montage time. Some jealousy I see. Drama time. I mean, he is kind of your boss and all. Pretty shots all over the place, damn. Ah, yes, the smoochin’ has arrived. Beautiful shot tho. This trailer had more beautiful shots than an actual plot so idk.

Conclusion: might check it out, might not. Depends on my mentality at the time.

Part 2 with the other 10 shows will be tomorrow at some point, idk. Let me repeat myself, if somebody feels offended or does not agree, you can fuck yourself, this was made purely for my enjoyment.

[primroseyunho]

ateez as nyu guys

❀ ot8 ❀ this is just crack i'm so sorry this will make no sense if you don't go to nyu or have no real knowledge of it ❀ warnings/tags: crack, college!ateez, i cannot emphasise enough how stupid this is for real read at your own risk kiddos ❀ a/n: this is just for funsies for me to let out feelings about the guys i go to college with at this silly purple school (aka nyu) i go to lmAO and also to ease my way back into writing again. pls don't take any of this seriously lads ❀ word count: 1257

❀ kim hongjoong

nyu school: tisch

major: music production

not one of the clout chasing tisch kids but all the ones who are like that are totally obsessed with him

probably is doing a minor in politics or linguistics bc we know this boy loves to overwork himself

doesn't realise that all the girls who try to talk to him are flirting and not just being friendly

if you're classmates and you miss a day, he totally lets you borrow his notes ugh he'd be so sweet

i feel like he's the guy who you share friends with but don't actually know you're all mutual friends

how likely am i to have crushed on him: 6/10 because even though he's lovely i will always be wary of tisch boys and also don't overlap with them a bunch because i am a boring pre-law gal and not an art student

❀ park seonghwa

nyu school: stern

major: business

listen, yall, i cannot tell u how saddened i am to associate the angel of all heavens with st*rn but we gotta be honest with ourselves

best boy hwa is going to school for practical purposes

he would be one of the only four valid sternies ever all the rest of them can choke

he is a classy boi and fits in well with the whole rich kids vibe

he would mostly be friends with non-sternies or stern women

he is that bitch who rolls up to class at 8am in full designer looking like he got off a runway whilst the rest of us look like trash

how likely am i to have crushed on him: 6.5/10 he lost points because god stern kids are the worst and also we all feel such deep disgust and envy at the fancy looking 8am kids and that is exactly the kind of nyu guy seonghwa would be. he gained points though for being a stern guy who i wouldn't want to murder - that's a very difficult feat

❀ jeong yunho

nyu school: cas

major: data science

maybe not data science exactly but he definitely is a stem kid it's just the ~vibes~

he's a real one who would help my humanities ass pull through in the required science classes

is an elevate mentor (stem mentor program for high schoolers) and loves it so much

definitely used to accidentally mansplain all the time freshman year before he knew better

100% no doubt is part of the competitive frisbee team (yes that's a thing)

how likely am i to have crushed on him: 10/10 i can guarantee i'd see him in the kimmel cafeteria and would be texting all my friends about how rude and borderline illegal it is for him to be hot whilst shoving his face full of food. totally would flirt with him if we had class together

❀ kang yeosang

nyu school: gallatin

major: who tf knows

okay so quick context for this one, gallatin is where kids can literally design and make up their own major. literally they can major in anything as long as they can defend and explain it to an advisor

feel like this is fitting because really what even is happening inside this beautiful man's head half the time - do you know? because i sure as shit do not

he's an undercover gym bro but he goes to 404 fitness, not the palladium gym which is why we like him still

is one of the washington square park skater bois

captain of the quidditch team (yes, that's also a thing too, i am not kidding)

he's the kid in class who doesn't talk much but when he does it's really fucking smart shit

how likely am i to have crushed on him: 10000/10 oh besties gallatin skater boys might be my kryptonite and that is vaguely humiliating but lets skate on past that. he's the guy in my class who makes me feel gooey inside when he says i've made a good point. definitely thought i was in love with him for fall semester but by spring we never see each other again </3

❀ choi san

nyu school: steinhardt

major: education

he's the guy i've been friends with since freshman year but still never remember what his major is sorry bestie

works at the ULC as a tutor

somehow knows everyone and is at every party you end up at

everyone is at least slightly in love with him even if they are totally platonic

is in parliamentary debate club, taekwondo team, and history society

..... okay maybe not history society but let me pretend since i'm the history society vice president

how likely am i to have crushed on him: 8/10 had a thing for him freshman fall (although i probably had a crush on everyone i met freshman fall) but then became very good friends and now it's all platonic. he fits into the description of two of my closest friends too well for me to envision romance in this scenario whoops

❀ song mingi

nyu school: cas

major: maths

i am on my smart kid mingi agenda yall don't appreciate or hype this man's intelligence nearly as much as he deserves

he's the overgrown puppy friend who doesn't realise that he looks big and scary

holds the heavy as shit doors at every nyu building open for you god bless

is in the presidential honors program

tragically he's probably a palladium gym bro

definitely gets high in the park and has probably tried acid lets be honest here

one of the safety guy friends at parties who i love because it means i can get inebriated without feeling unsafe

how likely am i to have crushed on him: 11/10 smart men who also satisfy my size kink rlly pull me in with such little effort. also i am frequently found painting and reading in the park whilst my friends get high with me babysitting them since i am almost always the only sober one. the tables turn when it's time to get drunk in the park though hehe

❀ jeong wooyoung

nyu school: tisch

major: performance studies

this dramatic little shit is a tisch kid through and through

such an extrovert and knows literally everyone ever

does performance studies because he's an all rounder over achiever

flirts almost as often as he breathes

has hooked up with at least one of your friends but isn't a dick in the aftermath

probably a micro influencer who posts tiktoks romanticising new york city life

how likely am i to have crushed on him: 6.5/10 i would definitely be friends with him but all the flirting gives off big banter chill vibes and not romantic ones. he's still hot though so like, i'd look every once and a while, ya know *wink wonk*

❀ choi jongho

nyu school: steinhardt

major: vocal performance

listen no one knows why vocal performance isn't in tisch (the literal arts school) and is instead in steinhardt but just go with it

has one of the most insane schedules because of all the private practices and rehearsals he has to attend

you'd meet him in a required core class and both struggle through it together

would share his table at bobst (the library) with no complaint wow what an angel

an unexpected and undercover pre-law kid - you'd only find out because you both went to a ULS meeting

also an undercover party boy you cannot convince me otherwise he is absolutely rooftop party crush material

fucks it up so good at open mic and karaoke nights

how likely am i to have crushed on him: infinity/10 no no see this is now a problem because i have created the perfect man in my head now and he doesn't exist in reality omfg jongho??? as a vocal performance guy???? who's PRELAW??? dream man

okay that's the end of me wishing i went to college with ateez love yall and you're insane if you've gotten this far askjfhkjaf lots of kissies for u all