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hotvintagepoll · 1 day ago

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Trying to get more into old movies because of this blog (I only know about half of these people and feel like a poser) do you have good recommendations on where to start or is it just a situation where you watch stuff and find what you like as you go?

you are not a poser <3 i myself am just here for the hotties.

here is my quick and dirty list of fun films to start with if you're new to old movies. and of course if you like one of these, do try to find more stuff as you go! there's no bad way to try out old movies.

(this list is not official and is SUPER quick. i'm tagging for content warnings where I can, but if I forgot something let me know.)

"I want to watch something SILLY!"

The Court Jester (Danny Kaye, Angela Lansbury, Glynis Johns, Basil Rathbone)—everyone in this movie is hot. everyone is in fancy medieval dress, which makes them hotter. everyone here is very silly. You can stream this on Hoopla, last time i checked, so you might be able to stream it through your library!

Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang (Dick Van Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries, Gert Frobe)—some people hate this movie and to them I say What Is Wrong With You. dick van dyke is a hot absent minded inventor who lives in a windmill with his two adorable children, his gorgeous sheepdog, and a grandfather who is categorically useless. it feels like the two films mary poppins (1964) and willy wonka (1971) had a baby and that baby was born on roller skates singing an old broadway showtune. this one has been showing up in some odd places lately—I think you can catch it on Tubi or Hoopla? It's definitely around.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (Jane Powell, Julie Newmar, Howard Keel, Russ Tamblyn)—my problematic fave. everytime i watch this i change my mind whether it's a sexist pile of garbage or a feminist paean, and fellas, today we're on the feminist paean bandwagon!! jane powell's millie is truly the star of the movie, she is the hero she drives the plot the narrative is on her side, and besides all that there are seven very hot men dancing next to her and six beautiful ladies making me bisexual. (on Tubi last I checked.)

The Duke Is Tops (Lena Horne, Laurence Criner)—I get a huge kick out of watching Laurence Criner and Ralph Cooper swindle everybody while also trying to put on a show; there's just something silly and sincere here, plus you get a ~musical extravaganza~ at the end when all is right as rain again. Free on YouTube I think?

"I want to watch something DRAMATIC that may make me FEEL SOMETHING."

Witness for the Prosecution (Marlene Dietrich, Tyrone Power, Elsa Lanchester)—I love a campy twisty turny mystery, don't you? :) I'm not going to talk about this one much because it's better to go in blind, but if you like Agatha Christie stories you'll probably like this.

To Be Or Not To Be (Carole Lombard, Jack Benny)—always relevant, always makes me laugh, also makes me cry. this takes place in poland during wwii so big tw for nazi imagery and mentions. (don't worry. this movie fucking hates nazis.)

Seven Samurai (Toshiro Mifune)—this one is Great Cinema™™™™™™™™™™™ for a goddamned reason

"I want to watch some stuff with the scrungles in it!"

Mr. Washington Goes to Town (Mantan Moreland)—I've been checking out more of Mantan Moreland's stuff because every time I see him in something I think he's delightful, and I really enjoyed this silly-spooky comedy. Does this story have a brain cell? No. Are the special effects and goofy slapstick fun? Yes. This is a fun example of an all-Black cast in a film that was made for Black audiences, and is a striking counterpoint to the stereotypical representation Black actors were given in white-targeted films, showing the enormous amount of talent and artistry the racist studios missed out on by excluding these actors. This is not A Great Film™ but it's still A Fun Time,™ with a goofy Laurel and Hardy type vibe. (It's free on Youtube.)

The Red Shoes (Robert Helpmann, Leonide Massine, Marius Goring)—hey kid, you wanna watch something fucked up? This movie is so fucked up. It's about ballet, it's about art, it's about technicolor, it's about dance and toxic relationships and making theatre and nightmares and ambition and death. A lot of these recs tend on the silly side (because I tend on the silly side) but this one is actually Serious Film and will definitely help you chat up Martin Scorsese should you ever meet him. Big content warning if you can't handle dark themes right now—this movie's pretty dark, not in the gore way but in the Haunting Creepy Image way. (it's also free on Tubi and Kanopy most of the time.)

The Invisible Man (Claude Rains)—my favorite of the vintage horror flicks and a great introduction to Most Dunked On Hot Vintage Man of All Time, Claude Rains. (it helps that you barely ever see him!) Very very silly but the special effects are just plain fun. (I think this is on Internet Archive in full?)

"Can I just get more hot people please?"

Flower Drum Song (James Shigeta, Nancy Kwan, Miyoshi Umeki, Jack Soo)—there are so many unbelievably hot people in this movie which is somehow very good (thanks to its cast) and also incredibly, horrifically bad (thanks to its white team of writers, directors, and producers). on the one hand, it's a mostly Asian cast in a big budget, beautifully designed MGM style musical! there's dream sequences, lots of fun dancing, crooning Rogers & Hammerstein cabaret moments, and just charm galore. it is also freighted with so. many orientalist assumptions and stereotypes, absolutely ridiculous shit that the writers ABSOLUTELY should have known better about in the 60s and nonetheless carried into this. this is a hard one to recommend because I loved this cast, and I loved seeing them in a context beyond the usual stereotypical bit parts so many of them frequently were limited to—yet the movie itself perpetuates so many stereotypes on its own it can be a hard one to watch, and I totally understand if it does not work for most people. tl;dr watch for Shigeta, Kwan, Umeki, and the others, but content warnings galore for one (really bad) case of yellowface casting, orientalist tropes, extremely stereotypical character types, etc. (On Tubi/Kanopy last I checked.)

Charade (Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, James Coburn)—this movie feels like a Hitchcock movie except I had a ton of fun watching it, which I can't always say for a Hitch film. (I told you my taste was bad.) This one is free on YouTube and thank god because Audrey wears a lot of Givenchy, Cary Grant wears spectacles and keeps almost dying, it's very exciting and thrilling and funny and sexy. I don't think there are any content warnings but it's been a minute since I watched it. (I should go watch it right now.)

The Big Sleep (Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall)—they're so hot askjdljhjghladkghjksahkhgslkahgshskjhgsalhgsahgjh. i like this one a lot :)

[this is NOT A FULL LIST of all the hot vintage movies to start with but it might give you some starting places! i banged this out as quick as I could at 2 am, so apologies that it's sloppy and not perfect.]

#recs #asks #coffee night #me 10 seconds after posting: oh fuck wings why didn't i mention wings. oh fuck sherlock jr. ohhh little women. oh CASABLANCA oh NO

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eyesxxyou · 4 months ago

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❝ sweet lips ❞ (rough hands pt.2)

｡ﾟ･ ¡ content. rival bands hobie x FTM!reader, conflicting emotions, a lot of sexual tension, light exhibition, lots of kissing, humping, pussyjob, accidental penetration, save a horse ride a cowboy, no orgasm (womp womp). you and Hobie agree, nothing can happen between you two, feelings would make things too complicated. but when you go further than expected, you find that you two like each other far more than you realize.

wc: 3.7k

↳ pt.1 / pt.2 / pt.3

“They make me sick.” Your guitarist grumbled under her breath as you and The Mutts lounge on a mangy, beat-up couch backstage of a shared venue. You all watch, glaring at the Mary Janes as they pass by. They don't spare their own glowering gazes at your Mutts, like two packs of dogs growling and snapping at each other where territories meet.

You catch the leader of the Mary Janes’ gaze. His eyes flicker at you and yours narrow with a biting hatred you've always had. Hobie Brown curls his lip up at you and turns away as his band rounds the corner to make their way to a separate lounging area backstage. Your own secret language, two birds and their indecipherable mating rituals.

It’s easy to pretend you still hate each other, between quick glances and lingering touches. A charade of band rivalry made to keep up the act for your respective bandmates. They’d never understand the way you always find him before or after performing and let him touch you in ways that would bring shame to the lot of them.

“Why Hobie Brown?” They'd say. “He’s the worst.” “I thought you hated him.” “He’s a fucking dickhead.” All of which are true. He is the worst. You do hate him. And he’s the biggest dickhead on this planet and the next. An arrogant, cocky, insufferable asshole with lips that taste like mint and beer and fingers that reach places inside you that you never even knew existed.

“There’s that battle of the bands competition coming up.” Your drummer chuckled snidely. “Wouldn't it be great to show them up? Fuckin’ posers.”

You got up from the couch, murmuring something about going to find a bathroom in this labyrinth of a venue. Your bandmates didn't question it, telling you to hurry back as you guys would be performing soon. You waved them off. “Yeah yeah, lemme go piss in peace.”

Your boots thudded against the old rickety floors of the venue, your eyes shooting from side to side looking to see if anyone would bear witness to your sin. Hobie told you to meet him just beyond the dressing rooms after he was done performing. He always needed a way to let off some of that built up adrenaline afterwards and you needed to rid yourself of your anxieties. It was a mutually beneficial relationship.

It was simple really. No strings attached, not emotions, no sappy, meaningless feelings to get in the way. And most importantly, no actual intercourse. It was too messy, too intimate, it meant too many things. Because if this all went to shit, it would be easy to transition back into hating each other without missing the way each other's body felt on the inside.

Hobie was hiding from you, lingering in a dark corner, while you looked aimlessly for his lanky figure. For a moment you wondered if he stood you up and was all together ready to write him off as the asshole you always believed him to be and go back to your bandmates.

You turned your back to him and he stepped out of hiding to grab you by the waist, turning you around to press his lips to yours and back you against a wall. You didn't kiss him back, instead you punched him in the shoulder and pushed his face away. “Asshole!” You tried not to be too loud. “I hate you.”

Hobie’s lips curled up into a grin as he snickered. “If ya hated me ya wouldn't be ova here, would’ja?” He laughed as you pushed against him again, forcing him to release you as he stumbled back. “Fine, I won't be here then.” You wouldn't entertain his jokes, if he wouldn't help with your stage jitters then you didn't need to be here in the first place.

But as you expected, as you wanted, Hobie took you hand and pulled you back to him. “Hey, hey, hey, I was jus’ messin’ ‘round. Stop bein’ such a prissy, stuck up bitch, eh.” He trapped you in his arms again, your back against the wall, bodies flush against each other with just your clothes to keep you apart. His pants were tight, you could feel his bulge against your tummy. A useless appendage, never to feel the gummy insides of your cunt.

You turned away from him. “Fuck you.” You grunt. His hand snaked up your front, feeling up your chest and your throat before grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him. “You wish, don’cha?” He chuckled, leaning in to kiss you once more. You don't resist this time.

Your kisses are feverish, urgent. You'd never call them passionate. Passionate is for lovers, for people who care about each other beyond the fling you two have going on. Your kisses demand each other's full, undivided attention. It asks, always, “will we go there today?” The answer is always “no”.

No fucking, nothing too intimate.

But your kiss is deep, his lips are sweet, and his hands are swiftly unbuckling your belt to get into your pants. He knows you want his fingers, long and skillful and pretty, readied with the intimate knowledge of what makes you tick, what makes you shudder and roll your hips into his palm, what makes you curse his name while kissing him all the same.

You’re panting breaths into each other's mouths, the essence of your beings on each other’s tongues. Your mind grows dizzy with the taste of him, delightful and tangy. You want to savor him on your tongue between your sloppy kisses.

“Hobie,” you sighed into his mouth as his hand snuck beyond the waistline of your pants and dove into your underwear to touch you where you ached most for him. And just as his fingers began to rub between your wet folds, you heard someone call out for Hobie.

Quickly, you two retreated from one another in fear of being caught in such a compromising position. Hobie snatched his hands from you and you swiftly began to make yourself decent once again. You glanced at each other, knowing this was not done. You'd have to come to his boat later in the night when you were both away from your bandmates. It was the only semblance of privacy you two had.

Without a word, you two went your opposite ways with the mutual understanding that you’d come to his boat later and happily sit on his fingers and drag orgasm after orgasm out of your pants up body.

But you couldn't help but glance over your shoulder at his retreating frame, only to find he was looking at you already, walking backwards. When he noticed he was caught, he raised his hand as if to concede he had been found out and smiled, winking at you.

You rolled your eyes at his and turned back around, only to nip at your bottom lip which where the taste of him still lingered like a ghost.

You performed with a hazy mind and wet between the legs, every motion reminding you of how you had been left needy and desperate. You hated feeling desperate. The sweat lingering on your forehead, the way your lips kiss the mic as you had kissed him, pushing yourself against the stand like it was his body. You needed him, bad.

You went to his boat that night with a single thing on your mind. Cumming until you forgot your name. Hobie was keenly skilled at that, teased you relentlessly for it when your dazed gaze comes back into focus and you look as though you don't know where you are.

Hobie was on the deck of his houseboat when you arrived, strumbing at chords on his guitar while scribbling down on the notepad beside him. He had left the plank down so that you could board on your own. He was keenly aware of your presence as soon as you arrived, only pretending that he wasn’t to ensure he didn’t seem too eager to see you.

You came up behind him, squatting down to look over his shoulder at his lyric book. “Writing lyrics about me?” You teased. Hobie snapped his book closed before you could any good grasp on his indecipherable handwriting. He looked back at you, a bit nervous but playing it off well. “Tryna steal ma ideas, now? ‘Specially wit’ tha’ battle of the bands comin’ up.”

Little did you know, he was writing about you. The chords he strummed on his stickered guitar were taken from the sheet music of his heart. He’s been trying to fight it, the feelings he had for you. You both agreed there would be none of your sticky, bloody heartstrings exposed for one another. And he was determined to keep it. It made everything much, much easier.

You pushed his head lightly and stood up, looking down upon him with a rather unimpressed expression. “I wouldn’t want your lyrics if you wrote the next “God Save the Queen”. I’ve got my own stuff. We’re gonna put you in the ground.” You really hadn’t come to talk about your competition.

Hobie stood up to a height that made you stagger. He was shirtless. His lean body on display for you to admire. He was close to you, so close you could smell his musky body wash and a faded whiff of his cologne. He smiled at you and reached to tap your chin. So pretty you could have dropped dead right then and there, your breath stolen away from you, your heart beating loudly in your ears.

Sometimes you wished Hobie wasn’t so nice to look at. It would make things a whole lot easier for you.

“Le’s go inside, yeah?” Hobie nudged you, grabbing his guitar and his lyric book and walking through the door he had left open that led into his home, a place you have learned to know all too well. You followed him inside and immediately made yourself comfortable. You kicked off your boots by the door and made your way over to his bed.

This was all just formalities. Going through the motions of your usual niceties of snide remarks and biting laughter at the other’s expense. The ‘hello, how are you’s before you two get down to the gritty stuff. You learned to enjoy this moment. The suspense of “when” made it all the nicer when one of you would eventually have enough of it and walk over to kiss the other.

You sat on his bed, messily made in some haphazard attempt to make it seem like he had a morning routine outside of walk up and go out on the deck for a cig to clear his head of the dreams he’s been having of you. He’d dig the heels of his palms into his eyes and groan at the thought of you lingering behind his eyes.

Hobie wasn’t sure if he’d be comforted with the fact that you’ve been having dreams of him too. Touching you, kissing you, pushing into you with his lips mouthing words of praise against your neck. You’d wake up flustered, face hot with the idea, heart palpitating in your chest. You’d be a little meaner to him that day just to balance out the way the thought of him made you feel things that you were forced to call “want”.

You watched Hobie as he put his guitar back on its stand and tossed his lyric book down on a small couch he had to the side. His pants hung low on his hips, the dimples kissing his low back are something you’ve never noticed before. You wanted to press your fingers there, kiss them even. You shut the idea down before you even had the chance to linger on it.

Hobie went into his fridge and pulled out two beers. He used one to pop the other open and then did the same with the other, the beer frothing in their bottles as he came and handed one to you.

“You think I want your shitty beer?” You took it anyway. Hobie stood over you, taking a swing of it all while keeping his eyes trained on you. With a sigh, he said, “No, I think ya want my tongue on yer cunt but I figured ya wasn' gonna ou’ ‘n say tha’ much.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks. You hated that he made you get so flustered. You hated his crudeness. You hated that he leaned down and held your chin so gently and kissed you with his mint and beer stained lips and you so blissfully let him. He’s sweet to the senses, sweet on your tongue as you press yours to his.

Then he pulled away, a string of saliva connecting you, panting. “Drink.” He guides your hand to press the rim of your bottle to your lips. You do drink, you hope that at the bottom you might find your will to leave before things get too heated. You know you won't. You’re too addicted to the way he moves, his rough hands and sweet lips.

You drink the whole bottle and he does the same and after you two kiss again. Hobie takes your bottle from you and sets both of them down on the floor beside his bed. Doing this, he parts your lips once more. And you cry a little. “Just fucking kiss me, you asshole.”

“Aww,” He poked at you. “Needy aren’cha?”

You grab him by the shoulders, pull him in, and kiss him viciously, like you’re trying to eat him whole. Consume him and make him one with your body. Hobie chuckled at this, his smile wide against your lips as he rubbed soft circles into the plush of your thighs. Your tongues find each other in the mess of teeth, lips, and piercings. Noses mashing against the other as you press your faces into each other. You desire to melt into him. He wants to mold your body with his hands.

“We should try somethin’ different t’day.” Hobie purred against your tongue that licked at the seam of his lips so thoughtfully asked permission. He let you in, let you explore every tantalizing crevice of his tender mouth. You hummed mindlessly, still kissing. “What’s that?”

Hobie snickered softly at his idea and broke your kiss into a string of thin saliva that held you two together. It broke apart when Hobie leaned back and lied flat on his bed. You you were still on top of him, his pulsing cock before you, aching with a few small jumps. It was a pretty thing for sure, with veins like the stems of flowers and a tip that was slightly bigger than the rest of the shaft. It curved slightly and for some reason you liked it. It never did anything for you. You never allowed it to enter your body.

Hobie pulled your hips forward until you were sitting on top of it, leaking pussy pressing down on the warm length of his dick. Immediately, you pulled away. “Hobie, we said–”

“Jus’ calm down, luv. We’re no’ goin’ there. I’s jus’ a lil’ humpin’.” Hobie assured you, pulling you back down to sit on top of him. His fingers rubbed your thighs and hips in a comforting manner. ”Come on, we’re both grown men. We can ‘ave some self control.” You settled down. You assured yourself nothing more would happen. Hobie seemed confident of the same.

With permission, Hobie tightened his hold on your hips and began to guide your movements. His length was trapped between your pussy lips which rubbed him up and down while your clit caught on his tip. You both let out fluttering moans, occasionally looking at each other but mostly focusing on the pussyjob you were giving him.

“I hate you.” You muttered between soft moans, your hips rutting on their own now. You watched Hobie smirk and let a deep chuckle pass his succulent, kiss-swollen lips. “Ya say i’ so much I almos’ tink ya like me.”

Oh, how right he was. You had barely even known it yourself, the way you overcompensated for the way you long to be near him by telling him constantly how thoroughly you despise him. You were startled by how accurately he read you. You hated being an open book.

You snarled at him, pressing your hips down harder, rocking your hips faster. “Fuck you.”

Hobie let out a shaky sigh. His cock leaked out pre into his hairy navel. “So close, baby.” Your pussy was dripping on him, the sticky wetness between your legs making your path along the tail of his cock slippery. You were playing a dangerous game and you both adored it beyond reason.

Hobie looked up as you rolled your head back, exposing the chaste flesh on your throat. He admired you, your broad shoulders, your pretty waist, the crescent scars along the underside of your chest. His hand caresses your thighs, up your hips and your sides. Your skin was soft and supple under his rough touch, God, to be like this was like having Heaven in his hold.

You were so eager, so zealous, so daring with your movements. Neither of you noticed how far you had gone forwards, further than normal. You felt his wet tip against your entrance and before you could stop your momentum, you rocked back into it and let him plunge himself into your love.

Immediately, both of your eyes snapped to each other and you paused. He was inside of you, raw. Never before had you trekked into this territory, too fearful of what it may mean. But you were here now, his cock snuggled nicely between your walls that you involuntarily massaging him.

You stared at each other for a long time. Your gazes melting from fear to something far, far more terrifying. Without a word, you two agreed. You’d do this once. Only once. And it would mean nothing. With the slightest nod, you agreed that you two wouldn't become addicted to the feeling of him stretching your entrance open and he wouldn't find himself thinking about how soft and wet you were.

You stared him in his heterochromatic eyes as you sat fully in his lap, your fingers splayed out over his chest. His hands gripped your hips as you rolled them timidly into his and let out a soft cry as the feeling of him filling you, stretching you out, molding you.

Hobie sat up. Your chests touched. Your hands settled on his shoulders to brace yourself as you sat up. This was your chance to stop this, you both know where this road leads. But instead of completely coming off of him, you came back down on his length. You both moaned something guttural past your tender lips.

Hobie felt his mind grow dizzy with the feeling of your soft, wet walls gripping him like a vice, and addiction he just can’t shake. For a moment, he thought that your rough exterior — your crude cursing and biting hatred — was all an act to hide the fact that you were so tender and beautiful on the inside.

You found a steady rhythm. Each plunge of his length into you dragging out moans from you both. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close with your eyes closed. You couldn't bear to look at him. You knew that if you looked at him, looking him in his pretty eyes, he might snatch your soul from you and never return it.

Hobie terrified you. Every moment you spent in his presence was a moment that you found yourself enjoying despite all your grunts and groans at his expense. You liked him and that horrified you. Now you were here, taking the best dick you’ve ever gotten in your life. His dulcet moans echoing in your ears as his hands pull you ever closer.

His tip kissed your cervix with each bounce and your back arched into him at the feeling. Your chest were rubbing, your bodies moving and melding together. It was intimate, too intimate for your liking.

You were about to tell him you hated him again, to crush this feeling you had blooming within the bloody, stringy workings of your heart, but as you opened your eyes to do so, you found that Hobie was already looking at you, his eyes rather soft for comfort.

You couldn't. You couldn't do this. Your heart was beating too fast, your pupils were dilating, you could feel an orgasm quickly approaching. You couldn't do this. It was too much too fast. Too many feelings all at once that you were sure you weren't ready to handle.

You got up swiftly, so fast you almost toppled over. You were quick to start collecting your clothes and slipping them back on. “I– I can't do this.”

“You ‘ave feelin’ fo’ me ‘n yer too scared t’admit i'.” Hobie bit at you, watching you pull on a shirt that wasn't yours in your haste to leave. You shook your head, fingers trembling, the ache of him still pulsing between your legs. “No, no, shut up! You don't know anything about me!” Your voice quivered. You couldn't bear to bring your eyes to look at him because you know if you did you’d crumble. You had to leave.

Hobie didn't bother to convince you to stay. If you were set in leaving, who was he to stop you? Maybe he wasn't ready to confront his feelings either. You were two sides of the same coin, neither ready to handle these soft emotions you’ve grown callous to.

You left into the night without looking back at him and he slammed the door behind you on your way out, tears swelling in your eyes as you let out a sob and kicked the door. “Fuck you, Hobie! I hope you rot in hell!”

“I'll meet ya there, arsehole!” He sneered back through the door. Weeks of your tumultuous affair gone down the drain all in one fell swoop.

Your heartstrings torn as you bleed all over each other.

#across the spiderverse #atsv #spiderman atsv #hobie brown #spiderman #spider punk #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown x ftm!reader #hobie brown smut #hobie smut #atsv hobie smut #spiderpunk smut #spiderpunk x reader smut #spiderpunk x reader #spirderpunk x ftm!reader #hobie brown x trans!reader #spiderpunk x trans!reader

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thechaoticdruid · 9 months ago

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🍿Watching movies with Astarion Headcanons!🍿

(Because I literally put this in a chapter of 'This Bites'.)

Astarion's favorite genre would obviously be horror movies.

All the gore and carnage really gets him excited.

He WILL give you a hard time for showing any fear.

"Really darling? After everything we've been through this is what reduces you to a shivering kitten. It's rather embarrassing sweetie."

He'll roll his eyes and pull you into his lap, wrapping his arms around you. "I suppose I'll just have to keep you safe then. You poor sweet pitiful thing."

Of course if the horror movie has clowns anywhere in it he's the one acting like a terrified kitten.

But he won't admit it. "I was NOT afraid. I'm a vampire! I'm far more frightening than some makeup caked fool!"

Refuses to let you comfort him and just sits there, paranoidly looking over his shoulders.

Alien horror movies (especially the weird grotesque slimy alien ones) are also not recommended as they make him very nauseous.

You may end up having to clean blood off the carpet.

Vampire movies annoy him. Too many inaccuracies and some of the tropes don't make sense to him.

Especially the brooding male vampire lead who's so tormented because he has to kill people.

"Oh boo hoo you murdered a bunch of villains. Get over it. Killing is the best part of being a vampire! Fucking poser."

He'll hate watch some of the shitty vampire flicks with you tho

Lives for drama filled flicks. The more chaos the better.

Any comedy movie with meanspirited or immature humor is a win, it'll keep him entertained as long as it's not too stupid.

He doesn't get into nerdy fantasy movies too much. The man literally lives in a medieval fantasy world so he's seen a lot of the Lord of the rings type stuff first hand.

He'll watch them with you at least once tho.

Gets annoyed if you watch a nerdy flick with Gale because the wizard won't shut up about if what is going on in the movie is actually possible/realistic and keeps listing random geeky facts about his favorite films.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP GALE!"

Secretly likes mushy romance movies, but you'll never get him to admit it.

Only openly enjoys them if they have a lot of sex scenes.

Of course he's gonna tease you if you're the type to get embarrassed during those scenes.

Very subtly runs his hand over your thigh without even looking at you.

Has a smug smirk on his face while he does it too.

May or may not be interested in some as the kids say 'netflix and chill'.

Depends on his mood really.

Drinks a little bit of your blood while watching if you offer it to him.

Will ugly cry if a loveable dog or cat dies at the end of the movie.

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vivwritesfics · 1 year ago

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Rich Kids Club

Chapter One

Half Monégasque, half English, twenty two year old Y/N L/N leads a rich life style. She has her own horses, her own staff to take care of them, and a father obsessed with Formula One.

With the promise of a new horse, Y/N joins her father at a few of the races. But F1 is hard not to fall in love with. It's hard not to fall in love with the people involved, either.

Charles Leclerc x reader

Lando Norris x reader

??? x reader

1.8K

Guess who's getting an F1 tattoo soon? This gal! Aka, I keep having breakdowns and this is how I'm dealing with it.

The Monaco Grand Prix.

Even though she'd lived in Monaco her entire life, Y/N L/N had never gone to the grand prix. She was always busy on the show jumping circuit, sending her two horses flying over the jumps. But here she was, in a dress designed to look like a shirt with a chunky belt cinching her waist. On her feet she wore chunky, black, heeled boots, making her feel taller than she was.

Competing was in her blood. Her mother had done it before her. She was the whole reason Y/N had so much love for the sport. It was her father who loved watching fast cars go around the track again and again and again.

When he could, Mr L/N tried to get Y/N to go to the grand prix with him. Being the wealthy man that he was, he tried to follow the sport all around the world. Of course that meant leaving his wife and children behind when Y/N was younger.

Now Y/N was older and she had her own horses, she also had her own people to take care of them and exercise them for her. She was finally able to join her father at the grand prix.

Living in Monaco meant that Y/N knew a couple of the drivers. She knew Max and Daniel through her fathers relationship with Christian Horner. She knew Charles and Arthur through her father, as well, although she knew Arthur just that little bit better.

Before racing took over Arthurs life and show jumping took over Y/N's they were friends. They ran in the same social circles in Monaco, going to the same school and partying together.

There were benefits to being friends with Arthur. Not that Y/N was looking for perks when it came to having friends. But Arthur had attractive brothers. Arthur himself was attractive, as was his eldest brother Lorenzo. Attractive, but not what Y/N was looking for.

And then there was Charles. He was... something else. There wasn't often Y/N got to see Charles, only when she was joining her father at the grand prix.

"There she is!" Shouted Daniel as she walked through the paddock. He wasn't driving this year, but he was still present at every race.

The Australian opened his arms wide and pulled Y/N in. He tucked her under his arm and turned to her father. "Mr L/N, always good to see you," he said, holding out his hand.

Mr L/N took Daniels hand and shook it. "You too, Daniel. Will we be seeing you back in a car this year?"

Y/N wanted the ground to swallow her whole. She'd discussed this with her father before they'd left their house. It was gorgeous, a 107 year old French villa that screamed wealth. Their conversation had been in angry French, probably disturbing the entire neighbourhood.

"Papa, tu ne peux pas poser des questions à Danny sur son siège, d'accord?" She said as they put on their shoes. (Dad, you can't ask Danny about his seat, okay?)

Her father shook his head. "Ne t'inquiète pas, ma chérie. Je ne lui dirai rien. Mais je demanderai peut-être à Christian." (don't worry, sweetheart. I won't mention anything to him. I may ask Christian, though)

"Non, papa. Ne demande pas à Christian. N'en parle pas." (No, dad. Don't ask Christian. Don't mention anything about it.)

"Détends-toi, ma chérie. Je ne demanderai pas à Daniel ou à Christian cette fois. Mais pour la prochaine course, quand tu ne seras plus là pour m'arrêter?" He answered and pulled open the front door.(relax, darling. I won't ask Daniel or Christian this time. But what about on the next race, when you're not there to stop me?)

"Papa." Y/N shot her father a glare from her space under Daniels arm. "De quoi avons-nous discuté?" (What did we discuss?)

Daniel squeezed his arm around Y/N and released her. "How are the horses?" He asked her.

Grabbing Daniels Red Bull hat from his head, Y/N placed it on her own. "They're good. Beau and I are going to try our hand at Cross Country next week and Crème is having a little holiday," she answered.

Beau and Crème de la Crème, Y/N's two horses. Beau was a dark brown horse and Crème was white.

"Does that mean you'll be able to come to the race next weekend?"

Y/N gave him a look. Yes, she wanted to go to the Spanish grand prix, but she had horses to train and low level competitions to enter. "Sorry, Danny," she said. "I've just got far too much to do."

"Si tu me rejoins à quelques courses supplémentaires, je t'achèterai un autre cheval," her father suddenly announced. (if you join me at a few more of the races I will buy you another horse.)

"Tu ne peux pas me corrompre, papa." (you can't bribe me, dad)

"Ta mère m'a dit que tu voulais un cheval de dressage," he temped. (your mother told me you want a dressage horse). "Deux semaines séparent le grand prix d'Espagne du grand prix du Canada. Je t'emmènerai acheter un nouveau cheval à ce moment-là." (There is two weeks between the Spanish grand prix and the Canadian grand prix. I will take you shopping for a new horse then).

"Un cheval de niveau olympique?" (An Olympic level horse?)

"Uh, what am I missing here?" Asked Daniel, looking between the two Monégasques.

Grinning, Y/N gave him his hat back. "Nothing, Danny. I'll be coming to a couple of the grand prix this year. I just haven't decided which ones."

"Can't wait," said Daniel.

With obligations to attend to, Daniel said goodbye to Y/N and her father and left them to it as they walked through the garage.

"Allons-nous dire bonjour à Charles?" Asked Mr L/N as they approached the Ferrari garage. (Shall we go and say hello to Charles?)

Y/N nodded her head. Together, she and her father walked towards the Ferrari garage. Charles was stood outside, identifiable by the sixteen printed onto the back of his red shirt. He was there with his teammate, with cameras around them.

Before Y/N's father could approach him, she pulled him back. "Que faites-vous?" (What are you doing?) He asked, his eyebrows scrunched up.

"Charles réalise une interview avec Carlos. Nous ne pouvons pas l'interrompre," she said (Charles id doing an interview with Carlos. We can't interrupt.)

Y/N and her father stood around, saying hello to the people they knew while they waited for Charles and Carlos to finish up. Being from Monaco, Charles was Mr L/N's favourite driver. If he could have afforded it, he would have sponsored Charles. But he was already sponsoring his daughters horse riding career and couldn't find the money to sponsor the driver as well.

Finishing up with the interview, Charles and Carlos turned again.

Mr L/N was quick to rush forward towards the Monégasque. "Bonjour, Charles! C'est un plaisir de vous revoir!" He shouted (Hello Charles! It is good to see you again!)

Turning around, Charles looked at the L/Ns with a red face. "Monsieur L/N, comment allez-vous aujourd'hui?" (Mr L/N, how are you today?) he asked and turned towards Y/N. "Hello, Y/N."

When Y/N and Arthur had first become friends and Charles was on the karting circuit, he had insisted that Y/N spoke in English whenever they conversed. With her mother being English, Y/N was fluent, which helped Charles to practice speaking the language. Ten years later and the habit hadn't died.

Charles had a conversation with Y/N's father in French. It was a long conversation, one Y/N tried to pay attention to. But she was concentrating on her fathers promise of a new horse. What colour would she look for? How big would it be? Would she finally get a mare or another boy? She couldn't wait.

"How is Crème de la Crème and Beau?" Asked Charles, turning his attention to the show jumper. With the way he was looking at her, it was hard for Y/N not to feel bashful.

"They're good. If Beau has gotten a bit bigger since the last time you saw him."

When they were younger, Y/N had invited Arthur to meet her horses a couple of times. Charles had picked Arthur up once and had the chance to meet the horses. Beau was a baby then, just a year old. Y/N hadn't started his training yet.

"You could come and see him in summer break, if you'd like."

Let the ground swallow her up now.

But it didn't deter Charles. He kept talking, asking her questions that Y/N happily answered. She tried to ask him, but it was easy to get tongue tied around Charles.

As they spoke, Charles' teammate walked behind them. He said a quick hello but continued on. Charles suddenly laid his hand on Y/N's shoulder and pushed her after the Spaniard. "Carlos! Have you met Y/N L/N yet?" He asked.

Carlos turned around.

Y/N had seen him before through social media. He was at the last race she attended, but he was in Renault then. Y/N didn't get to meet him, and then she had to stop coming to the races all together.

"You are Mr L/N's daughter?" He asked, pointing back to Y/N's father.

She nodded her head. "Oui, yes. He's finally dragged me along to our home race." She laughed awkwardly, and Carlos was polite enough to laugh with her.

"How are you finding it so far?" He asked.

Y/N didn't think the conversation was go any further than it had, not with how awkward she was being. But she couldn't help it. Carlos was an attractive man and attractive people made her nervous. But, then again, who doesn't get nervous around people they find attractive.

"I am enjoying it. I'm looking forward to seeing you boys race," she answered.

"Have you always been a Ferrari fan?"

Y/N had. But, as Sebastian Vettel had once said, everybody is a Ferrari fan.

"Y/N, chérie, allons chercher nos sièges!" (Y/N, honey, lets go and find our seats) Her father shouted, pulling her attention away from the boys in red.

Y/N nodded to her father and turned back to them. "It was lovely to meet you," said Carlos. He took her hand and kissed the back of her palm.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, Charles walked back to her father. "Perhaps I could see you after the qualifying," he said as he walked her over.

"Of course, Charles. I'd like that very much."

Y/N's Instagram:

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idiotcurls · 1 year ago

Text

IMAGINE THIS! Eddie is a musician, Steve is studying to become a teacher. Right before Steve's exams, he goes to a cafe to study. The Band arrives to play a gig and Eddie knocks over a glass of water with his guitar case.

Eddie has a up and coming band, they are playing small gigs all around the country. Even though they gathered up quite a following, they still haven't signed to any major label yet. Because they are not posers or whatever. The fans love Corroded Coffin, for the hard sounds with the clever thoughtful lyrics and also due to the fact that Eddie is a very charismatic frontman, who has the allure of an old timey rock star. Steve is sitting in the café, studying for his exams, writing frantically on his laptop, his glasses on the tip of his nose. Since he had a hard time in high school, he still thinks he is less than in the intellectual departmen, which is of course not true. And he has an amazing hand with the kids he is currently teaching, as student teacher. When Eddie and his band arrive at the venue, loud, all dressed in black leather, some instruments carried on their backs, he doesn't even look up. Steve was used to bands playing in the back of the venue. The café and bar area was only separated by a small glass door, so he was usually gone by the time, they got on the stage. But today the weather wasn't exactly on his side, he wasn't going to walk home in the pouring rain, risking a cold. It was too close to exam season. Eddie's hair was dripping wet, some of the droplets are running into his eyes. While Gareth is asking for someone to show them where to set up their stuff, Eddie ventures into the café area, to steal some napkins off a table. When he turns around to leave again, tapping over his eyes, the swing of his guitarcase knocks over a glass of water on a table behind him. Whos table you ask? Why, of course Steve Harrington's. What a terrible coincidence. Steve jumps up, shouting "FUCK" as he gathers up napkins trying to dry up the spilled water on his keypad. Startled by the cussing behind him, Eddie turns around and immediately recognises the damage he had caused. "Oh my god, I'm so fucking sorry, here, I'll get you more napkins, or a towel. Gareth!! Ask the waiter if he has a towel?!" Gareth looks up from his conversation with one of the staff member and just shakes his head in an annoyed fashion. Like Munson was up to some bullshit again and he wasn't going to be part of it.

Eddie is frantically bringing more napkins to the table, furthering Steve's annoyance at him. "Please.. just fucking stop, man." He is wiping his wet hands on his blue jeans looking at the laptop mournfully. "It's already fucking ruined. Shit." Steve sighs and walks around the table, a hand over his mouth, looking at the crime scene, wondering how he could afford another laptop that fast. But that long haired idiot, who knocked over his glass kept on babbling, ignoring the fact that Steve was in the middle of a crisis. "Listen, oh my god, I'm so sorry man. I read, that you shouldn't turn in on for bit after, uh, a spillage. Maybe it will dry? Or maybe we should put some rice on it? Maybe they have rice in the kitchen. Gareth?- My friend Nancy says that is bullshit, but-" "STOP! Please just go away." Steve sounded desprate. Eddie raised his hands in defeat, still holding some Napkins. "Okay. I'm sorry. I'm with the band, who plays tonight. You can message us for a refund, or repair.", he says more calmly and walks away. Steve watches the young man walk back to his band members, he assumed, at least. They all wearing the same sort of clothes. "What are you doing with all those Napkins?", Jeff asks bemused. "Just shut up, man." Steve is close to tears. All of his notes and work he already did ahead of time were on the laptop. He did not safe them anywhere else. He grabs his coat and cigarette and leaves the café to have a smoke. If anyone wants to take any of his other stuff, they were free to do so, everything was ruined anyway. He watches the band carry all their amps and instruments in, from a little distance. There was a quick glance exchanged between him and that long haired idiot. He looks like a beaten puppy with those big sad eyes. Shit, now Steve felt like an asshole. Back inside, Steve waited for a while, to turn on his laptop, like the idiot had said. Meanwhile he was texting his best friend Robin the details of the worst evening in his life. She is sympathetic and hopeful, that the gods were in favour of his laptop. And while she didn't think Steve was the villain of the play, he might have been a bit harsh. They guy with the curls didn't do it on purpose, to ruin his life. After a while Steve breaths in deeply and exhales. He presses the on button. The laptops starts. He types in his password. Loading. All of his open tabs and word documents appear. The laptop was alive. He tries to write some words and all the keys work. A sigh of relieve. The gods had mercy on his computer in the end. After thanking the universe, Steve's eyes wander to the other side of the café. Behind the glass door, the band is setting up and starting to do some sound checking with the technician.

The idiot is holding his guitar, strumming a few chords and signing the thumbs up to the tech girl, who nods, looking bored. Now he is singing along to his chords, his eyes closed, like he is feeling the music or something. Steve finds, the idiot has a very beautiful voice. And a handsome face. He sighs. With that new information the apology is going to become even harder. When the band is done soundchecking and Eddie climbs off the stage, bickering and laughing with his band mates, Steve decides to go for it. "You can do this, dingus." pops up on his phone, before he puts it back into his pocket.

When Steve walks up to Eddie, the others are still rumaging around. Before Steve can open his mouth to say a single word, Eddie raises his hand. "Let me stop you there. I talked to the guys. We have a door-deal with the venue. Depending on how much money we make, you can have some of the money to pay for the repair." Eddie chuckles. "Now we just have to pray some people show up." Steve raises his left eyebrow, listening to him. "It's not like theres no people coming to our gigs, it's just that it's raining, and it's a weekday, people are at work..." Eddie is rambling again.

"Hey, can I say something too?" Steve chimes in, stern but not unkind. "Uh, sure." Eddie answers. "My laptop is fine. Everything works. I wanted to apologize for being a dick." Steve takes down his glasses and puts them on the top of his head. "I was just very stressed. You didn't do it on purpose." Eddie looks down and smiles. He seems shy.

"I'm a bit clumsy.... yeah." Steve finds it almost funny, that a guy like him, who just confidently sang on a stage, becomes shy like that. "Well, don't worry about it. I just thought... It's fine." Eddie looks up at him. "Why dont you stay for the set? Be our guest?" Steve does not answer. "I'll put you on my bar-tab. Stay and listen. Here- have a tape." Steve looks at the tape he got handed. "I don't have anything to play this on..." "Don't worry. I'll make it worth your while. Get a drink. We start in 20 minutes." Everything in Steve says, it's better to go home. Sleep and study. But he does stay for the set, to see the charaismatic idiot in action.

and then they fall in love or something.

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #fanfiction #stranger things #rockstar eddie #student steve #meet cute in a bar #eddie is clumsy #steve is annoyed

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posts-written-by-murderbot · 4 months ago

Note

STOP. just stop already. I'm so sick and tired of all of you goddamn fake Sanctuary Moon fans. Sanctuary Moon is a work of art and I am DONE with everyone who's started pretending to like it after the solicitor's bodyguard's spouse's time travelling puppet show plotline. I bet you think episode 231 was a dream too. I have been in the TRENCHES defending Eden for years only for all of you posers to show up and spew your garbage takes about Eden's clone rehabilitation scheme. None of you appreciate Sanctuary Moon the way I do 🙄. You probably haven't even watched the hazardous sun miniseries. Why don't you stick to corporation rim cartoons instead of pretending to understand a masterpiece like Sanctuary Moon.

You are exactly the kind of insufferable elitist who gives the fanbase a bad reputation on space tumblr.

And it’s incredible that for all your “I was there when the first episode was airing” (we weren’t all even off the production line a decade ago but go off I guess) your understanding of The Rise And Fall Of Sanctuary Moon is so piss poor I have to wonder if we are even watching the same thing.

1. The solicitor's bodyguard's spouse's time travelling puppet show plotline was a masterpiece and that season rightly brought in a bunch of new fans.

2. Episode 231 is so obviously a dream. What more do you want, a flashing colorful banner running along the top of the footage that says “Attention Babies: This Is A Dream Sequence”?

3. Eden isn’t going to fuck you.

#posts written by murderbot #the murderbot diaries #tmbd #invasions of privacy

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chrrychills · 2 months ago

Text

i know it's just a phase, you're not in love with me .

main six « alternative s/o!

ashlyn banner:

•she'll probably borrow a lot of your clothes, especially if they're baggy and loose. she doesn't consider herself alternative, but she likes baggy, thrifted clothes and affliction.

•doesn't like loud music, so she probably won't listen to any loud rock/alternative music with you. she does like shoegaze, though.

•probably listens to nirvana, but she listens to the quieter songs like polly and man who sold the world.

•if you're someone who dyes your hair frequently, she'll sit in the bathroom with you to keep you company while you do it.

•she's against giving yourself piercings (which i may or may not be guilty of) because it's unsanitary and they're more likely to get infected. she'd rather you go to an actual piercer.

•she'll ask you for music recommendations sometimes. she's liked most of the artists you put her on.

•secretly thinks you're really cool, but she'll never tell you because she doesn't want to inflate your ego.

•she starts to get more into the alternative scene the longer you two have been dating.

aiden clark:

•he's into so many alternative subcultures, it's crazy. he was lowkey really into the punk scene for a while, but he branched off into the grunge subculture after moving to georgia.

•you two can (and will) spend hours at various thrift stores, and he pays every time. you have so much vintage clothes/ crazy thrift finds because of him.

•he'll help you dye your hair, give yourself piercings, whatever. as long as you're not frying your hair off or letting the piercing get infected, he doesn't care.

•probably listens to radiohead.

• like ashlyn, he thinks you're really cool but he's super vocal about it.

•you two share jewelry. rings, necklaces, bracelets. he owns a lot of those chunky, silver rings and has a good amount of necklaces and chains, too.

•he likes to call you a poser to piss you off. it's his favorite bit and he thinks it's the funniest thing ever.

ben clark:

•it's literally impossible to put him onto any type of music, because he listens to everything. from pixies to rob zombie to cash flagg, his playlist is absolutely stacked. if anything, he's put you onto more music than you have him.

•his jeans are baggy on you, so you've stolen a couple pairs. he noticed but didn't say anything because the outfit looked good.

•he's not a huge fan of needles so he thinks piercings are kinda gross. he'll help you take care of any new ones you get, though.

•he's honestly more alternative than you are, he just doesn't show it because he doesn't care enough to put in the effort.

•he has an entire section of his closet for baggy tees and band shirts for you to borrow (steal) and ends up just buying you a bunch for your birthday.

•while he does listen to a lot of music, he refuses to listen to radiohead and he won't tell you why.

•he thought you were kind of intimidating a first, especially if you have a resting bitch face.

•he thinks you're cool and has debated on stealing your clothes/jewelry before but decided against it.

tyler hernandez:

•his teammates 100% rip on him for dating you. he snaps at them every single time they make a comment without fail.

•again, you steal his jeans because they're big on you and they look good. he will say something, though. he doesn't care but he thinks it's funny to call you out on it.

•tyler doesn't really like the music you listen to, but he doesn't mind it. he definitely wouldn't listen to it on his own, but if it's playing when he's with you he doesn't mind.

•if you're listening to a popular band (nirvana, deftones, etc.) he's so quick to go "name 5 songs." because it pisses you off and he thinks it's funny.

•he likes to mess with your (healed) piercings when he's bored, or when you two are cuddling. he'll lightly tug on them or try to take them out. you'll have to smack his hand away to get him to stop.

•he loves sitting and watching you do your makeup. he could watch you for hours and not get bored, especially because you usually ask him to do your hair after and he loves doing your hair.

•you and taylor are the only reasons he doesn't dress like a highlighter...

taylor hernandez:

•she steals a lot of your oversized shirts and sleeps in them.

•she makes jewelry, so she's constantly making you necklaces and bracelets. your accessory game is top tier because of her.

•actually really likes the music you recommend her! taylor probably listens to pop. chappell roan, gracie abrams, taylor swift, and other similar artists so you're surprised when you find her playlist of all the rock/grunge music you've sent her.

•loves thrifting. like aiden, you two can spend hours in different stores and leave with trash bags of clothing. she's an absolute machine at the goodwill bins.

•when (if) she returns the shirts she stole from you, there's a good chance she cut the neckline off of them. they always look really good, so you don't complain.

•100% will do your makeup if you ask her to. she's amazing at it and it usually looks better than when you do it yourself.

•taylor's a great artist, so she likes to doodle on your jeans with sharpie and it makes them look really cool so you let her do it.

logan fields:

•yall are the definition of opposites attract. your aesthetics clash like crazy, but you two make it work.

•like ashlyn, he's not a huge fan of loud rock/grunge/metal music because it gives him headaches. he likes calmer songs and instrumentals.

•honestly, he steals a lot of your jewelry. his hands are filled with your rings and he has a couple of your bracelets on each of his wrists.

•he helps you decide what color to dye your hair, and goes on a mission to help you find the color. he'll sit in the bathroom with you while you dye it, but he won't help because he doesn't wanna mess it up.

•lowkey a weezer fan.

•he wears the comfiest clothes ever, so you steal his shirts/sweaters and wear them to bed a lot. he goes red every time he sees you in his clothes, no matter how many times it's happened.

•another one who thinks you're super cool. he'll tell you this, but he's gonna get embarrassed because he doesn't wanna sound corny.

lacey's notes:

hi can u guys tell i didn't edit this😁

also i'm gonna start putting the songs i use for my titles in my posts so ppl can listen to them if they want

if you've requested i promise i got it i just have no motivation to write requests

title inspired by:

#sbg #sbg x reader #x reader #sbg ashlyn #ashlyn banner x reader #sbg aiden #aiden clark x reader #sbg ben #ben clark x reader #sbg tyler #tyler hernandez x reader #sbg taylor #taylor hernandez x reader #sbg logan #logan fields x reader #Spotify

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world0fmadness · 3 months ago

Text

A DARK DREAM

øystein “ euronymous ” aarseth x reader

♡ general dating headcanons for øystein!

୨୧ my second headcanon request, eek! i hope you like it anon! øystein was such a cutie <3

♡ requested by anon | related hc available here | view my metal masterlist here

reading music recommendations: parasite by venom - poser killer by death grips

♡ unlike a relationship with varg, your relationship with øystein is not complicated in the slightest!

୨୧ øystein is extremely open about how much he’s in love with you, no matter who is around and watching

♡ he couldn’t care any less, he’ll make out with you and love on you in front of anyone and everyone

୨୧ he can’t get enough of showing you off to his friends and random people at concerts, always introducing you as “ my girlfriend ” before your name

♡ if he ever sees people ogling you, he just smirks knowingly, yeah, you’re hot shit alright but you’re with him

୨୧ when you first started dating, he was kind of a hardass when it came to being romantic but after a couple weeks, his walls crumble and he reveals his cheesy side

♡ when it comes to dates, øystein will never say no to taking you on a good old movie date!

୨୧ he’ll take you to see a horror movie anytime, buying any overpriced snack your heart desires, as long as you let him get a little dirty with you in the back row, that is…

♡ if he sees something in a store that reminds him of you like a plushie or a necklace, he’ll buy it with no hesitation but will glare at the cashier if they look at him weird for buying a plushie… you try to tell him to hold back on the gift giving due to you knowing helvete really isn’t doing that great and the rent is way too high but he never does, he lives to spoil you

୨୧ before a concert, øystein basically needs to make out with you for at least five minutes before going on stage

♡ you’ll do his corpse paint all nice and pretty for him whilst sitting on his lap then when you’re done and admiring your work, he’s pulling your head down to him, connecting your lips and mumbling a “ thank you ” against your lips… he is super grabby and handsy during make out sessions, his hands cannot be idle, he has to be squeezing your ass or groping your boobs or at least just running his hands up and down your hips

୨୧ after a concert, øystein is always so beyond hyped up and energetic, damn near running over to where you’re standing backstage before taking you into a deep, sloppy open mouthed kiss and wrapping his arms around you, twirling you around as you giggle against his mouth

“ fuck! y’see how many people were in the audience, vakkar? holy shit, i was good, right? ” ( he’s confident in his playing but he loves getting compliments from you, he eats them up like a starved man )

♡ you always help him dye his hair, pointing out whenever he needs a re-dye and making lighthearted jokes at how his natural colour is showing through really bad

୨୧ he’ll glare at you whenever you point it out but make a mental note to pick up some hair dye later… he prefers when you dye it for him, he likes the feeling of your hands massaging his hair and you make much less of a mess in the bathroom

♡ a personal little headcanon of mine about him is that i think he’d have a little button pin machine at home! he has absolutely taken a picture of your boobs and made it into a pin before… giggling like a dumbass teenager seeing boobs for the first time whilst making it

“ look! it looks good, no? i think it looks good, god, you have amazing tits… ” ( he genuinely goes to put the pin on his jacket and your eyes nearly bulge out of your head as you yell at him, he’s so pouty when you tell him that no, you do not want your tits on show on a pin on his jacket )

୨୧ i’ll say it, i think øystein is a bath person instead of a shower person

♡ he absolutely loves taking baths with you! having you leaned back and relaxed into his chest as you chat about your day, one of his arms hanging over the edge holding a cigarette in his hand

୨୧ he’ll act like he’s just so annoyed by the bubbles caused by all the bubble bath you poured into the warm water but you can tell he likes them

♡ you think they take him back to his childhood a little, back to easier times when bubble baths were just awesome

୨୧ he will always scowl when you give him a bubble beard or bubble mountain on his head before it turns into a cheeky smile and he begins softly splashing your face with the water

“ oh, you don’t like it? no? quit it with the bubbles, vakker ” ( that nickname? and in the bath no less? yeah, it takes less than a minute for you to jump his bones, even more water splashing to the floor as you bounce on him, steam coating the mirrors and his cigarette long forgotten on the tiled ground )

♡ if you’re not from norway, øystein would absolutely have your home country flag on the little flag wall in helvete!

୨୧ hey, why wouldn’t he want to celebrate the country that gave him his beauty?

♡ speaking of helvete, you probably become kind of close with bård and occultus with them working there and all!

୨୧ bård is pretty quiet and doesn’t talk much but if you ever ask him about what horror movie he’s watching, he will definitely give you a couple facts about the production of said movie! he thinks you’re pretty and øystein is very aware of that, always cracking sly jokes towards the younger boy whenever you’re around him which causes bård to blush like a madman before shaking his head

♡ this man is always playing his guitar for you and if you don’t know how to play, he’s trying to teach you

୨୧ he is just super passionate about playing the guitar and loves that you really listen to him when he talks about playing and how you actually try to learn to play yourself

♡ you adore when he wears his glasses, always smothering him in kisses and baby talking him about how cute he looks as he grumbles and tells you to fuck off but the beaming smile on his face tells a different story

୨୧ he will never admit it but he loves being loved on by you

♡ øystein will never get over how good he thinks you look when wearing his leather jacket…

୨୧ you don’t even need to mention that you feel cold for him to offer his jacket to you, he would honestly rather you wear it than him

“ look so pretty in my jacket, vakkar… y’wanna keep it tonight? ” ( as if he’d ever try to take it back from you )

♡ if you’re like me and cheap kebab food is a comfort food for you, øystein is all over that shit

୨୧ oh you’re awake at 1 am, feel kind of bad because you’re on your period or just in a bad mood? he’s placing a kiss on your head before grabbing his jacket and going to grab you some kebab food from your regular place

♡ it’s got to a point where the owners of the kebab place know him by name and always know exactly what he orders for you and sometimes something for himself

୨୧ he just walks in, doesn’t even need to say a word before they ask if he wants his usual and he gives a “ yep ” before placing the money on the counter and walking out to have a quick smoke…

♡ you’ll eat the food together on the couch, cuddled up in a comfortable silence, øystein holding a coke bottle in his hand and leaning down to take any bites you offer him, eyes glued to the tv as a horror movie you’ve already seen multiple times plays through his vhs player <3

#requested ✩#oystein aarseth x reader #euronymous x reader #mayhem x reader #mayhem headcanons #dating headcanons

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ronearoundblindly · 7 months ago

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No Promises (1)

Lloyd Hansen x rival assassin!Reader

Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Deadly Polka Dot Bikini

Summary: Lloyd gets outsmarted.

Warnings for HE'S AN A**HOLE AND I SHOULDN'T NEED TO TELL YOU THAT, illusions to sex/imagined sexual acts, general body-shaming, nasty thoughts, drugging/murder, and the unbelievable thrill of Lloyd getting taken down a few pegs. MINORS DNI. WC ~900

Lloyd impatiently taps his pinky ring on his binoculars, adjusting the lenses.

He hates waiting, but there’s nothing for it. The job is to retrieve something this man stole without evidence that anything was stolen from him.

Oh, and kill the fucker. Obviously.

Man’s a thief.

Well, Lloyd’s a thief, too, in a way, but he doesn’t bother to steal without reason. He gets a payday out of it.

This guy—this grossly-obese, sack of shit chumming it up poolside at a resort—also thinks he’s getting a payday out of it, yeah, but Lloyd is so much better than that. He’d see the reality of his situation. He wouldn’t be this stupid. He wouldn’t be spending the money before the exchange was made.

Easy pickings is what this guy is.

All Lloyd has to do is make it look like the middle-aged, fake-tanned Pillsbury Doughboy down there had a heart attack…which might actually happen at the rate his target is shoveling antipasto down his gullet.

Lloyd wipes his own mouth in disgust.

The women have the right idea though, especially the one in the yellow bikini.

His target looks like a desperate and lonely man, whether flashing around wealth or not, so leech away, ladies. Enjoy the free ride while it lasts.

Lloyd frowns and spits over the balcony where he watches. He just imagined the yellow bikini riding that sweaty hippo down there—more to the point, he imagined having to surveil the man while fatso tried to fuck a woman like that—and feels queazy.

Some parts of the job he likes. Some parts he doesn’t. Lloyd gets paid either way.

He leans back for a moment, resting his eyes from the high magnification and the bright sun above. He takes in the mind-numbing, incessant beat of island drums that converges from multiple ‘bands’ across the property into the worst white noise.

Lloyd would rather hear the whimpering, whining screams of torture.

Where the fuck are the waves and relaxing shit?

For effect, a gull screeches at him from the next railing over.

“I will fucking eat you,” Lloyd sharply chuckles back, and then he picks up his slippery, cold Arnold Palmer and smacks his lips.

You know what they say: If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your whole life.

That’s true. Lloyd’s proven that. The missing part is that if work isn’t work then vacation isn’t vacation, so one has to make do with thrills where they find them.

Lloyd gently lifts the silencer-tipped gun from his lap and shoots the gull right off its perch. He makes a long whistling noise as the carcass falls and lands with a satisfying thud against some enormous bush leaves.

This is going to be easy, he thinks, sipping his refreshment slowly. Child’s play.

He sets down the glass and the gun, repositioning the binoculars over the possibly-sunburnt bridge of his nose.

Watching this poser of a paunch groping the decent-looking, sunshine girl is making him plan out seeing someone of his own tonight. He’ll be done with the guy early enough; plenty of time to find a self-conscious chubster willing to suck and fuck hard for a few praises. It’s basically charity work, but again, work isn’t really work, is it?

Lloyd has to follow the repetitive grind of yellow-tied hips and watch the front bow bounce between breasts to notice that she’s yanking at the string.

He might be in real luck. Is he about to get a show?

The bikini top doesn’t fall away, however, and it’s suddenly missing the white bead marking the edge of the seam.

Sunshine's hands go up in the air, reaching and swaying with the beat, until she turns and drops something small—like a fucking pill—into the target’s drink, reaching for his face and cooing dirty, little things, it seems, by the distracted burst of the man’s pupils.

Mother fucker.

Lloyd sprints back through the sliding door and out of his room, he vaults the banisters to jump down three flights in the stairwell and only emerges at the poolside to see his target collapsing forward, the bikini bitch groping the body as it falls to sneak a keycard out of his pocket.

She screams bloody murder and everyone fucking buys the act. She scrabbles away, bare palms on the concrete, one holding his goddamn prize, until she slips backward into the pool.

“Son of a…” Lloyd scowls, but there are too many people moving over the walkway to rubberneck.

He sees happy, dotted yellow emerge from the other side of the water, empty-handed, a sympathetic towel thrown over a clearly shocked woman.

From across the courtyard, you, Sunshine, turn in Lloyd’s direction, pulling at the front of your suit bottoms to emphasize a stiff, rectangular shape underneath.

You’re staring right at him when slowly raising a middle finger and winking before wrapping the generic towel tighter.

Onlookers and good samaritans gather, crossing in between you two. He can’t make a scene.

Then you’re gone, folded into the wave of terry cloth that ripples and recedes with passing drama.

He stands there, dumbfounded, ten feet away from a dead seagull.

Did…did Lloyd just fucking lose?

A/N: *evil, unhinged laughter* This shit is gonna be fun....

[Next Part: Don't Be Blue, Bunny Boy]

[Main Masterlist; Lloyd Hansen Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

#lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x y/n #dark fic #lloyd hansen drabble #lloyd hansen series

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lowkeyrobin · 4 months ago

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hiiii, I love ur writing and I was wondering if you could do fuckshit x reader hcs on a movie night with him? Maybe some making out idk, make it yours!!!! Thanks pooks 🫶🏽🫶🏽

yeah sure!! ; thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy!! ; and thank you!! that means so much to me bro tyty 🫶

FUCKSHIT ; movie night

summary ; movie night hcs with fuckshit!

warnings ; language, making out

word count ; 272

masterlist

he hates any and all romancey movies so you literally cannot watch them together. like titanic, she's all that, clueless etc

he needs some sort of action

so you mostly watch movies like the lost boys, fight club, and chucky

the lowest he'll go is dazed and confused (which he actually really likes), the sandlot, and the breakfast club

he usually likes curling up with you and some snacks

yes you heard me, he actually shows physical affection toward you

alone, the tough guy act is gone

or at least it's gone when you aren't around strangers and aquiatences

around the others, he's normal as well, but he needs to be the biggest hater around posers for some reason idk

he likes showing you off to people he knows and stuff tho

but about halfway through the movie, especially rewatches, he gets a little... distracted so to speak

lots of weird hand touches and squirming and resting his arm around your shoulder

he gives up on you taking the hint and just climbs in your lap to make out with you

you never fight him off cause you like annoying him to the point where he's given up and climbs on your lap instead of the other way around

lots of moving around for no reason

sometimes you end up laying down on the couch and sometimes you fall off of said couch and continue to make out

he lovessss when you tangle your hands in his curls bro

seductive whistle 😍😍😍

when some batshit crazy thing happens/he hears, he'll immediately look at the TV to see what's happening

"fuckshit-"

"hold on"

#lowkeyrobin #gn reader #gender neutral reader #they/them reader #mid90s imagine #mid90s x reader #fuckshit mid90s #fuckshit oneshot #fuckshit x reader #olan prenatt x reader #mid90s

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sycamorelibrary754 · 1 year ago

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The Piggy Story

Summary: Yelena is Melina’s Secret Santa and takes a crack at a few handmade piggy presents!

Pairing: Yelena x reader (platonic), Natasha x reader, Alexei Alanovich Shostakov x reader (platonic) Melina Vostokoff x reader (platonic)

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: None

A/N: If you read Happy Thanksgiving, you will understand this story. If you didn’t, please enjoy the random silly fluffiness. 😂

Yelena had been acting suspiciously for two weeks, sneaking around and making everyone uneasy. She would disappear at night without letting you accompany her, which was unusual since you frequently joined her when she walked Fanny. Initially, you thought she might be gearing up for an undercover mission. Whenever you asked her about it, she would dodge the question, giving you a look that seemed to say, 'If I tell you, I'll have to kill you.' You had learned not to overthink your sister-in-law’s idiosyncrasies. If it was possible, they made you love her even more.

You were lounging in your comfy pajamas, engrossed in a game of cards with Wanda in her cozy room, when Natasha suddenly entered. "Hey, detka, have you seen Yelena? She was supposed to join me and Steve for a briefing twenty minutes ago."

No, I haven't," you said as you placed your cards face down on your lap. "Not since this morning, anyway.

“She’s been acting odd lately,” Nat commented.

While rearranging her cards, Wanda pointed out, "Odd in general, or odd for her because you know there’s a difference.

"That is true," you nodded, gesturing toward Wanda.

Natasha grumbled, "If you run into your best friend, would you tell her that her sister is going to kick her ass?"

"Sure thing, wifey," you chuckled, playfully saluting her and giving her a swift kiss on the lips.

Nat playfully rolled her eyes and teased, "It's a wonder I married you."

*^~^*

You couldn't contain your excitement as you and Yelena started putting up Christmas decorations around the compound the next day. Wearing your coziest Christmas sweater, adorned with festive patterns, you danced through the halls, humming cheerful tunes and happily hanging up ornaments and lights, infusing the entire space with holiday spirit.

“Dashing through the snow

In a one-horse open sleigh

Peter’s on the go

Laughing all the way

Bells on Fanny ring

Making Tony fight

Wanda wants to flip a coin

And sing this song tonight

Jingle bells, Clinton smells

Banner laid an egg

Ant mobile lost a wheel

And Loki got away

Hey!”

That was very nice, y/n; now, how about a White Christmas song to go with this delightful cup of hot cocoa topped with whipped cream?

"No can do, boo. Only one show per Christmas season," you said, as you sat together on the sofa.

You both savored a small sip of the rich chocolate beverage, watching the steam rise enticingly from the mug.

"Hey, did you know that one of Mom's pigs is named Clinton?" Yelena said with a sheepish grin.

"Is that so? I've only ever heard of Alexi," as you savor some of the whipped cream from the top of your hot cocoa.

“Mom named Alexi, and then she asked if Natasha and I would do the honors of naming the other two. Clinton was the poser’s choice.”

"I can't believe Nat never told me. What name did you choose?" You took another sip of your beverage, eagerly awaiting the answer.

“Sir Francis Bacon.”

You almost choke on your hot cocoa as you sputter, and it rolls down your chin. “That is adorable!” you exclaimed, reaching for a napkin. You’ll have to point out which is which when we go to your parents' house for Christmas next week.”

"Hey, you've got a little whipped cream on your cheek." Leaning in, Yelena sneakily licked it off.

"Oh my God! Who are you, Fanny?! I have no idea where your tongue has been! Ew! Get some hot water, get some disinfectant, get some iodine!" With a jolt, you lept up and dashed to the bathroom, leaving Yelena in fits of giggles on the floor.

*^~^*

The remaining week was filled with delightful Christmas-themed activities. As you snuggled up on the couch with my cherished blanket, preparing to watch "The Holiday" with the team, you noticed someone conspicuously absent.

"Where could Yelena be?" you mused aloud.

"In my lab," Tony said nonchalantly, casually tossing popcorn up into the air and effortlessly catching it in his mouth.

"Why?" you asked, slightly confused.

“Blondie wanted a private space to work on a project. I told her she could use the lab if she didn’t joyride any suits,” Tony explained.

“Yelena in your lab with unlimited access to nanotechnology.” Nat pondered, grabbing two Christmas cookies and offering you one before snuggling up beside you in your blanket ball.

"Go down there and see if she's up for watching the movie," you urged, tossing popcorn in Kate's direction.

"Why am I the one?" questioned the young archer.

"Since you're closer, and she's starting to freak me out," you explained.

"Don't worry about it, Y/N. FRIDAY is keeping an eye on her," Tony reassured.

*^~^*

You woke up at Melina and Alexi’s Christmas morning to the delicious smell of cinnamon rolls and coffee. You agreed to do Secret Santa with your wife’s family this year. You and Natasha were wearing your matching Christmas pajamas, ready to exchange presents, but Yelena was unusually eager and insisted on going first.

Guess what? I was your Secret Santa this year, Mama! I wanted to challenge myself and make a homemade gift for you," Yelena exclaimed as she reached for Melina's tablet on the counter and quickly tapped a few buttons on the touchscreen. "Hey boys, come on in!

The door creaked open, and in waddled all three of Melina’s beloved pigs, their little trotters pitter-pattering against the wooden floor. As the trio rounded the corner, they presented a charming sight - each adorned in a specially tailored vest. Alexi sported a vibrant red vest, Clinton rocked a regal purple one, and Sir Francis Bacon donned a cheerful orange number. Upon closer inspection, it was clear that each vest was meticulously handcrafted, complete with the pig's name beautifully embroidered. It was a display of piggy prestige at its finest.

“Surprise, Mama! Now, not only will the piggies be warm in the winter, but they are stylish individuals with many pockets!” Yelena declared.

"The pigs are sporting vests," Nat deadpanned. You gently squeezed her hand, silently urging her to play nice.

“Not vests, sestra. Pests! Piggy vests! My very own invention," Yelena clarified. "You can just call me the next Tony Stark.

"The pigs sporting Pests," you revised with a chuckle.

"Thank you very much, my dear! These are fantastic. I've always believed they needed some attire. The Russian winters are extremely harsh, and they truly deserve something exceptional," Melina exclaimed, planting a loving kiss on her younger daughter's cheek.

"Check it out, girls! Alexi's has the best Pest. He's a dead ringer for the Red Guardian, ready to go head-to-head with Captain America," Alexi exclaimed as he affectionately stroked his namesake.

“Oh my God, it’s like living in a Dr. Seuss book,” Nat joked.

"Who knew you were a crochet pro?" You turn to your best friend in surprise.

“I wasn't. No, no… Kate Bishop is the mastermind behind it. She taught me how to make it. All it took was $100 for the yarn and supplies, which I may have borrowed from Stark, and a promise to never show up again in the middle of the night unless it’s a real emergency,” Yelena explained.

"Is that where you were sneaking off to at all hours of the day and night?"The surprise is written all over your face.

"Where else did you think I was headed?" Yelena questioned.

Undercover in the Multiverse, I don't know!" Your face turned beet red the longer she looked at you. "You were scaring the crap out of everyone.

"Ha! That's hilarious. You're quite the comedian, y/n," she laughed, placing her hands on yours and Natasha's shoulders. "I don't want to give anything away, but by New Year's Eve, some stylish individuals will emerge from this group!" With that, she wrapped you and Nat in a warm, tight group hug.

Natasha's gaze met yours from behind Yelena's back, and a smile crept onto your face. It indeed was a merry Christmas.

#yelena belova #natasha romanoff x reader #red guardian #melina vostokoff #fluff #mcu #the avengers #wanda maximoff #tony stark #kate bishop

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renthony · 1 year ago

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I haven't enjoyed a Marvel movie since I stopped bothering to keep up with the MCU in 2014. I don't care for most Marvel movies. I think Marvel Studios is a case study in things that are shitty in the entertainment industry. But holy shit, pretentious posts along the lines of "haha, I don't watch Marvel films, I have real taste, go watch another movie!" are so fucking annoying.

Like, go put up your middle finger at some preps or something. People are allowed to watch whatever they want and enjoy whatever movies they want and make whatever fandom stuff they want, and that doesn't say anything about their intelligence or morals or character. It doesn't mean they are somehow bad at watching movies, or are too stupid to realize whatever nugget of wisdom ye high-and-mighty Marvel Haters think you're the only ones to understand.

Again, not personally a Marvel fan, but this whole "haha, I'm better than Marvel fans" relates to something I've been musing on about media analysis as a whole. There is a persistent idea that mass entertainment is inherently lower quality or less artistic because it's made for a wide audience, and that bad art isn't worth analyzing or engaging with just because it's low quality. In this mindset, the only art that has the possibility to be any good at all is 100% independent projects made by amateurs, and anything produced by a studio or with wide appeal is inherently poser art with absolutely nothing meaningful to say. In this mindset, you can't possibly learn anything or take anything from bad art, and if you find meaning in bad art, you're clearly just stupid and uneducated and have bad taste.

The thing is? Liking bad art is not a sin. Having a different opinion about what constitutes "bad art" is not a sin. Finding something entertaining despite its flaws is not a sin. Studying bad art is not a sin. You can learn a lot from bad art, you can learn a lot from interpreting propaganda, you can learn a lot from engaging with things even if you don't think they're very "good."

My vaudeville research keeps turning up author after author who talks about vaudeville as some sort of "point of no return," like the performing arts all turned to shit the second things were intended to be seen by more than a single audience for a single show. Popularity gets equated with lack of skill or quality, because all the performers were "just pandering to the audience" instead of relying on "real skill."

For one, what the fuck does that even mean, but for two, the theatrical quality of vaudeville isn't what makes it interesting and worth engaging with. Every single thing that ever came out of vaudeville could be 100% total utter garbage, but vaudeville would still be worth studying because of how influential it still is on arts and entertainment today. It has significant historical and educational merit. And some of it is still genuinely fun and entertaining, once you pick out all the things that didn't age well or were just plain bigoted. There's artistic merit in those old sketches and songs, and there's meaning to be drawn from plenty of it even here in 2023.

You want to learn about the Hays Code? Well, let's talk about how early films were shown on projectors on vaudeville stages, so vaudeville censorship went on to influence American film censorship. Let's talk about how we still use slang to this day that originated on vaudeville, such as "skit" or "one night stand" or "ad lib" or "the big time." Vaudeville is still in the bones of the modern American entertainment industry and pop culture, and you can't really escape that influence.

People in modern day use Marvel movies as proof that big studio films are singlehandedly responsible for the decline of art, and there is nothing to learn from them or see in them at all, ever. But to me, "Marvel movies are bad" is such a flat, uninteresting observation, because when it comes to media analysis, it doesn't really matter if Marvel films are good or entertaining. If you want to actually dig into the problems with big-budget summer Hollywood blockbusters, and the way they're impacting the industry as a whole, you have to go deeper than "pop culture is all stupid stuff for stupid people, unlike me, who isn't like other girls actually has good taste in media!"

There are so many more factors at play than "mass entertainment = bad art." Let's look at the ways capitalism screws over small creators and forces them to seek funding from the very same studios that fuck them over. Let's talk about how the actual workers in the industry are fighting tooth and fucking nail against the exact same things all the Marvel haters harp on about. Let's talk about studios that accept funding from the United States Government to turn superhero comics into propaganda films, and then threaten the actual workers with never having a career again if they complain or quit. Let's talk about how the actors are regularly abused and treated to hostile work environments.

Let's talk about the people who made the films, because the films were not made by a CEO pressing the "make movie" button. The workers made those films. The workers were exploited by those studios. Let's try giving a shit about them, instead of taking the "haha, Marvel fans are stupid and cringe" route.

There is so much more fucking nuance and detail and conversation about mass media as a topic, and boiling it down to, "art made for a wide audience is inherently shitty and has nothing to say."

You're not a better, more intelligent, more educated person just because you don't like Marvel movies. Making posts about how much better you are than Marvel fans does nothing to either explain or tackle the issues in the entertainment industry.

It just makes you look like a dickhead.

#original post

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