#GIRAFFES ARE PRETTY FUCKIN NEAT ANIMALS

[coiled-dragon]

I really do love the post talking about Alligators in relation to Randy. How Alligators have one of the most crushing bite, but because they evolved only muscles for clamping down, they can be very very easily muzzled, and how that relates to Randy, how he has a secret bite, how he's been muzzled (willingly).

But we gotta talk about Benson and Giraffes, too. How giraffes are one of the most long lived ruminants because they're built as hyper vigilant cranes with amazing eyesight and a kick that can shatter bone. How adult giraffes rarely need to fear predation because of their size, but only 1 or 2 in 4 of their calves will ever reach adulthood because of their vulnerability. How female giraffes are a social animal and raising their calves is done communally to reduce the risk of the harm of their young.

I think it paints a clear picture of a man who grew into a hyper vigilant adult after not having the protection he needed, who has to be the biggest in the room so he doesn't get hurt again.

Some people focus on the strict 'scared Randy chose the carnivore and explosive Benson chose the herbivore!' but I like the depth of these animals SO much in how they relate to each of them.

[tyrantisterror]

IT ENDS TODAY!  THE FINAL SEVEN ENTRIES ARE HERE!  HUZZAH!

Our first monster today is @bonelessnerd‘s island monster, Nogad.  There were a couple of attempts to take the mythological concept of “an island that is also a monster” and give it an Atom Age revampe for this contest, but Nogad went the extra mile and also worked in a reference to The Fantastic Voyage and other “people shrink down and experience the terrors of life at a very small size” movies that coexisted with the kaiju films ATOM pays homage to.  Massive even for a kaiju, Nogad is a brain-dead, comatose creature whose internal organs are an ecosystem all their own - and one that people actually end up exploring!  That’s right, he’s a literal Monster Island.  I had no idea what the rest of Nogad’s body was supposed to look like (his original picture cuts off at the waist), so I tried to keep it as taxonomically dubious as possible.

@polygonfighter‘s tar skeleton monster Index (original entry here) is next on our list.  There were a few different attempts at giving ATOM a blob monster (I suppose the Writhing Flesh’s features are too well defined for it to count), and Index mixed the whole “living tar monster” concept (a well known variant of the blob monster archetype) with a cool grim reaper motiff, giving ATOM a nice ghost kaiju in addition to a blob.  And yes, Index is literally a ghost in the ATOM interpretation of its bio - ectoplasm and all.

Torgong (original entry here) by SirKaijuofVaudeville is our next entry.  Like other entries in the contest, Torgong’s bio homages other prominent trends in atomic age monster fiction that ATOM otherwise overlooked - specifically the idea of “mole people” (which I suppose ATOM kinda skirts close to with the Reptodites but doesn’t fully embrace), ancient civilizations, giant monster god worship, and human sacrifice.  There are also some neat ties to ATOM’s hints that aliens might have experimented with hybridizing terrestrial fauna - Torgong may be Mothmanud’s kin by way of genetic modification!  Also he’s a big gnarly rock dog man, and that’s pretty rad.

Cervere (original entry here) by @scatha5 is our next monster, and a particularly bonkers one at that: he’s a big smelly cat.  Like, super smelly.  Sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a bad way, depending on what kind of smells you appreciate.  Powerful odors aren’t tied to felines all that often, but considering how often they rub or spray their fluids on things to mark their territory, it makes a lot of sense.  Cervere’s color scheme is also pretty rad - I particularly love that punk rock purple crest of hair.  All in all, a good smelly cat.

@cstalli‘s beautiful flower fairies, the Trifitan Arum (original entry here), are our next monster, though calling them monsters might be a bit slanderous.  They reproduce rapidly, sure, but their effect on the environment is nothing but beneficial, and they’re completely non-malicious so long as their gardens are protected.  I’m a sucker for heroic monsters, especially ones that are environmentalists, and I’m also a sucker for the idea of plant people, so these fairies are pretty fuckin’ awesome on a lot of levels to me.

Our penultimate monster is @profcene‘s well meaning amphibious hyena, Gevlek (original entry here)!  Taking ATOM’s design themes to heart, Gevlek uses a traditionally “evil” animal as a base and builds a really sympathetic and benevolent personality for it, making a lovable scavenger whose desire for friendship is hampered by his own social awkwardness.  It’s ok, Gevlek, you’re in good company.  There are a lot of cool little design details that make Gevlek more than JUST big hyena, from the giraffe-like horns to his slightly sea-monstery dorsal fin and lizardy tail.  He’s a good boy.

Our final monster is @ask-drakos‘s enormous blackbird, Okhalee (original entry here)!  After tons of weird prehistoric, flightless, and/or vampiric birds, it’s kind of nice to get one that’s basically just a big normal bird with a few extra claws and wattles.  Okhalee has a fun personality too, having been the result of a sudden kaiju-fication and thus retaining all the aggressive territoriality of his much smaller kin.  He’s one of those “heroic to humans because he does not tolerate other monsters” style kaiju - an asshole to other giant monsters, but a protector to the tiny mammals living in his territory.

And that’s it!  No more files!  However, there are a few prizes left for me to give to our Grand Winners, so check out after the cut, won’t you?

I’ve said it a lot already, but picking winners for this contest was tough.  So many quality monsters were submitted that I couldn’t narrow anything down - there were just too many good concepts out there!  I’ve also said before that I’d like to one day make files for EVERY KAIJU ENTERED.  I have no idea if I’ll ever reach that goal - I have a lot of other projects to do - but I really cannot overstate how much I love all the monsters you guys made!

That said, if you recall the original contest posting all those months ago, I did say there would be a Grand Prize Winner for the person who went above and beyond.  Narrowing it down to just one winner proved to be impossible (just as narrowing down the entries to just five kaiju files proved to be impossible), but at the same time, there were a few people whose multiple entries wowed me so consistently that I had to take notice.  These people didn’t just make choosing a few kaiju out of twenty seven entrant’s lineups hard - they made it hard to choose a single winning entry from their entire offering.

Or, more simply, they made a new criteria for the Grand Prize Winner: “Which person made it almost impossible to choose which monster of their lineup was the best?”

Everyone made excellent monsters, of course, and I love every monster submitted, but with most people who made multiple entries you could tell there was one they had thought through just a bit more than the others - one that shined the brightest from their bunch.  But a few entrants bucked that trend and produced a whole slew of well thought out and creative creatures.  These entrants are our Grand Prize Winners:

@cerothenull

@canadian-tuxedo-mask

@akitymh

@quinnred

@bonelessnerd

As per the rules of the contest, you five get the grand prize of Forcing Me to Watch and Liveblog a Movie of Your Choice Provided It Is 1. Legally Available In the USA At A Reasonable Price and 2. Not a Porno.  That, uh, probably seems underwhelming after getting a kaiju file, but I didn’t plan on giving a kaiju file to everyone so uh, there we are I suppose.

I cannot thank you all enough - not just the grand prize winners, but every single one of you who entered this contest!  You made a whole pantheon of wonderful, wild, and weird  monsters for the whole world to enjoy, and in particular you made me very happy!  I hope to hold another contest like this in the future - and if I do, I hope to see every one of you among the entrants!  Thank you all again!

[scrapclockwork]

literally all the headcanon meme asks. just answer fckn all of 'em fucking do it lo ser

holy fuckin shit okay lmao

⍤ : What does your muse’s voice sound like? Is it light? High pitched? Scratchy? Deep?

I said before it’s pitched about the same as Bo Burnham (y’know, the comedian). But it’s a little less nasally. It gets scratchy and glitchy when he’s nervous.

✍ : What is your muse’s handwriting like? Is it neat? Sloppy? Fancy?

It’s a little messy but like the pretty kind of messy.

☕ : Does your muse prefer coffee or tea?

Water????? idk

⌚ : Is your muse good with keeping on schedule for meetings, appointments, or events, or are they always late? Or, are they always a bit early?

He’s usually exactly on time for everything! Unless he hyperfocuses on something and forgets.

♿ : Has your muse had any injuries in the past?

He literally. has a scratch across his nose idk what to tell you

☺ : What is your muse’s smile like? Do they smile often?

also, yes

⚡ : How does your muse feel about storms? Are they afraid of them, or do they calm them?

Nope don’t like ‘em do not like them

⚠ : How does your muse react to possibly dangerous situations? Do they face them head-on, or do they plan out their actions first?

He tries to avoid them as long as possible. But if he absolutely has to, he’ll plan everything out first.

☃  : What is your muse’s favorite season? What about their least favorite season, if they have one?

Summer! As for least favorite, winter and spring, there’s a lot of rain so he’s kept inside a lot.

☂  : Does your muse like rain?

NOPE it’ll make him rust and that’s not good

☼ : Does your muse like daytime or nighttime more?

Daytime!

🏨  : How well does your muse sleep?

Normally, he’s good with getting a decent amount of rest. Buuut as of current, he’s not getting an appropriate amount of time in stasis.

❤ : What are your muse’s thoughts on love? If they are not in a relationship, do they believe that they will ever find a perfect someone for them?

So far, he’s seen only one consequence (y’know, having a sibling disprove of his partner). But other than that he thinks it’s pretty great!

☘ : Does your muse believe in luck? How about fate?

Not really, and kinda?

⚯ : Does your muse have good eyesight? If not, what is it like? Are they nearsighted or farsighted? Or both? Do they use glasses? Or do they prefer contacts?

He’s got 20/20 vision!

👓 : If your muse wears glasses, what are their glasses frames like?

this question is void

♨ : Does your muse have good table manners? How do they feel about bad table manners?

He doesn’t really.......join the family dinners

❀ : What is your muse’s opinion about flower crowns?

HE LOVES THEM. HE MAKES THEM ALL THE TIME TOWARDS THE END OF SPRING AND DURING THE SUMMER. EVERYONE IN THE WALTER MANOR HAS LIKE FIVE FLOWER CROWNS NOW. PLEASE STOP HIM

♬ : Does your muse sing well? Regardless of whether they sing well or not, do they enjoy singing?

He sings reasonably well. His voice is real quiet and soft and it’s pretty much just for lullabies and calming people down

📐 : Is your muse good at math? Do they like it, or do they hate it?

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?????? he’s real neutral on the subject

♞ : What is your muse’s favorite animal?

Tie between kittens and giraffes

εїз : How does your muse feel about bugs and insects?

He doesn’t mind them as long as they’re not crawling on him.

📱 : Does your muse prefer calling or texting?

Texting, the bots’ messaging program doesn’t include calling.

☆ : Of the sun, stars, and the moon, which is your muse’s favorite?

The stars, he likes pointing out the constellations!

ツ : Does your muse prefer lots of friends, or just a few close ones?

Just a few close ones

✝ : Is your muse religious?

Nope.

[detective-prince-bluebottle]

tagged by @agatharja

first rule: tag 9 people you want to get to know better! You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to! :)

... my anxiety won’t let me tag anyone because i’m afraid i’d be bothering them

second rule: Bold statements that are true

- I am 5'7 or taller (i fucking wiiiiiiiiiiiiiish)

- I wear glasses (i’m meant to but i don’t because they get dirty and that bothers me)

-I have at least one tattoo

- I have at least one piercing (6 distributed around my ears and 1 nose)

- I have blonde hair

- I have brown eyes

- I have short hair (hells yeah boi)

- My abs are at least somewhat defined (bitch i wish, fuck off)

- I have or had braces

PERSONALITY:

- I love meeting new people

- People tell me I am funny (ppl tell me nothing. also i never speak out loud)

- Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine (i mean i’d like to but i have no idea what to say)

- I enjoy physical challenges

- I enjoy mental challenges

- I am playfully rude to people I know (i mean kinda sometimes? idk)

- I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it 

- There is something I would change about my personality (everything i would love to not be a bland robot)

ABILITY:

- I can sing well

- I can play an instrument (i can sort of play ukulele and guitar. and ocarina i guess lol. i also took recorder lessons when i was in primary school. now that was a bad time)

- I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (lol no)

- I am a fast runner (actually i can sprint really fast but for only like 10 seconds)

- I can draw well

- I have a good memory (HAHAHAHAHA NO)

- I am good at doing math in my head

- I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (i used to when i was like a teen but my asthma and stuff has gotten real bad since then)

- I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling (idk probably i mean see aforementioned unbolded good memory i can’t even remember two days ago at all i must have beaten 2 people at arm wrestling. i mean i know i’ve wrestled the arm)

- I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch

- I know how to throw a proper punch (well i mean i can do a karate punch. you start with your fist closed and facing up, held next to like your hip and your elbow’s like pointed back, and then you thrust forward and up a bit and twist your fist down inwards, so you end up with it at chest level. idk)

HOBBIES:

- I enjoy sports (i feel like eventually i will end up watching something like women’s soccer or women’s basketball, because i am a pathetic virginal gay that can’t talk to and is unattractive to girls)

- I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (i tried out for soccer twice. since i’m a fatass they didn’t go well)

- I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else (i was in primary school i have no idea why i think it’s cuz my grandma wanted me to be? but it wasn’t all bad i mean one time we went to like a choir competition and the conductor called me a boy so that was neat as fuck. man i got called a boy a lot when i was a kid it was fucking heaven compared to now, assholes calling me ma’am and shit man get fuckt)

- I have learned a new song in the past week (what does this mean? like to play on an instrument? bitch i can’t even concentrate long enough to learn Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe i just get discouraged and shit)

- I exercise at least once a week (listen i intend to rectify this and go swimming every day, now that i finally realised like last year that i actually have fucking dysphoria and that’s why i hated wearing swimsuits (aside from because i’m fat as shit and disgusting to witness in a fucking onepiece like what the fuck were my parents fucking thinking making me wear shit like that when i’m obese as sin) i’m gonna get board shorts and a rashguard and wear one of my less liked binders and it’ll be so fucking good)

- I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months (fuck off i’m not leaving my house in fucking summer it’s fucking 40°)

- I have drawn something in the past month

- I enjoy writing (man i haven’t properly written in like 7 years because idk depression but i still write stories in my head when i’m going to sleep at night and showering and whatever)

- Fandoms are my #1 priority

- I do some form of Martial arts (i used to do karate when i was uhhh 14?)

EXPERIENCES:

- I have had my first kiss (hahahahaha *sob* i fucking wish)

- I have had alcohol (yeah man i love jagerbombs and blue lagoons, defuckinglicious)

- I have scored a winning point in a sport (fuck sports)

- I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting (okay wait does this count for like rewatches? because when i saw my first anime i was obsessed with watching it - martian successor nadesico btw - for the entire day and that’s all i did, i sat in bed and watched it all morning to night)

- I have been at an overnight event (i meannnn when i went to see the last jedi slash meet some of my friends from my guild irl for the first time i stayed over at their house on the sofa and left the next morning does that count)

- I have been in a taxi (yeah it was only recently actually, our car fucking died and we had to take some convoluted fucking public transport out of our place from middle-of-dead-ass-fucking-nowhere-ville (needless to say i hate the suburb i live in. and country) to somewhere where we could get a taxi to a car rental place. or was it a dealership? i can’t fucking remember man do you see this shitty memory in action?? it was only like 2 years ago fuck me)

- I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year (well i was IN a hospital but that’s because i was going to a dental clinic in the building)

- I have beaten a video game in one day (what game can you beat in a day man???)

- I have visited another country (i haven’t got enough fucking money lad)

- I have been to one of my favorite bands’ concerts (listen fuck you i’m totally counting livestreamed concerts, i’ve seen all of Steam Powered Giraffe’s youtube concerts and the one recorded in 2013 and you bet your ass i’m gonna pay $20 for the right to see the film of the anniversary concert)

MY LIFE:

- I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend (i kinda consider my friend bunny my best friend but i doubt he considers me his bestie)

- I live close to my school/work (HAHAHA GET REKT I TAKE MY UNI COURSES ONLINE AHAHAHA)

- My parents are still together

- I have at least one sibling (i mean technically i have 3 but i’ve never met them. at least i don’t think i have. they can get lost far as i’m concerned)

- I live in the United States (i wouldn’t live there if you paid me. maybe if obama were still president you could’ve got me to live there if you gave me like 5 million dollars, but now i would actually rather die)

- There is snow where I live right now (god i would fucking kill for some snow)

- I have hung out with a friend in the past month (yooo i was boutta unbold this because i have no fuckin friends except my online pals but then i remembered going to meet two of my friends from online and seeing star wars with them!! holy shit i feel validated and less lonely)

- I have a smartphone (samsung galaxy s6 BOI i am so fucking angry i was gonna hold out for the s7 cuz 7 is my second favourite fucking number (first is 14 but i wasn’t gonna wait a decade for that or w/e) anyway i finally decided to just get the s6 and the fucker asshole 7 is announced like a month later aaaaaarhghdks)

- I own at least 15 CDs (i have a whole fuck ton of videogames and they’re on CDs get owned HAHA FOILED but i also have probably about 15 CDs of music if i’m gonna count the stuff my family has)

- I share my room with someone (man my room isn’t even big enough for me how you gonna fit a whole nother person in that cupboard)

RELATIONSHIPS:

- I am in a Relationship (*cries uncontrollably*)

- I have a crush on a celebrity (well i mean i wouldn’t say no to like scarlett johansson if she told me she wanted to rail me. or gal gadot. or kate beckinsale. or kristen stewart. or - okay this is probably a massive list of ladies i want to rawdog me)

- I have a crush on someone I know (i’m slightly in love with all of my female friends because they show me kindness)

- I’ve been in at least 3 relationships (alright fucking buckle up kids: i don’t count online relationships because i’m a bitter person but when i was like 10 i was in a ‘relationship’ on runescape with a boy the same age at me and i legitimately think it was actually a kid like me and not a predator because all we did was stand next to each other and talk about cows or something and make the avatars kiss (we both had male avatars because i was obviously subconsciously aware of my gender identity at that stage). when i was like 13/14 i met a girl at a camp during the school holidays (i went to camp almost every holiday) and we chatted over msn after camp ended and tbh i think she forgot who i was because she suddenly said she liked me one day so i decided i liked her too and we started to ‘date’. lasted like 2 weeks? idk but she broke it off cuz i was inattentive (i can’t remember but i guess i could’ve been i’m not a very social person believe it or not *snicker*) anyway i saw her at the next two camps and it was hella fucking awkward the first time because i wanted to be friends with her but her other friends intimidated me so i just hovered around her creepily and she got angry at me and i got sad, but the 2nd time was a lot better i think, i was extremely distressed when i saw her at the bus station for the camp transport and i sulked the entire ride, but when we all got there i accidentally fell into her friend group (i actually think it’s because the other girls were really nice and they’d seen me sulking and wanted to cheer me up, man kinda fucked up huh) i pretty much ignored her the whole time and after camp ended she contacted me on msn for some reason and idk she like asked me how i’d felt when i saw her at camp and i was honest and told her i’d been pretty upset and then she got pissed at me and never spoke to me again. wow such drama huh? oh and my 3rd ‘relationship’ was when i was uhh 16/17-ish with this girl i met on some naruto fansite. i don’t even like naruto, and i actually remember absolutely nothing about my interactions with her. like at all. i don’t remember how we met or who dumped who or whatever bullshit. i’m not sure why this is i mean maybe it’s because this was at the same time i had a massive fucking obsessive infatuation with a girl at my school and well it didn’t turn out so hot and i think i’ve blocked out a lot of shit. anyway i hope you all enjoyed that wall of text haha of course you fucking didn’t. well tough titties me lad)

- I have never been in a relationship (*cries*)

- I have admitted my feelings to a crush (fuck no holy shit)

- I get crushes easily (yeah well if any female is nice to me i’m a goner. also one time during high school i started getting crushes on all the girls in my extended english class like i think it was a new girl each week. it was a tiny class there was only like 8 of us, no stinky boys (even if i’d realised i was trans at the time, i’m not stinky :P))

- I have had a crush for over a year (it was not fun)

- I have been in a relationship for over a year

- I have had feelings for a friend (do semi acquaintances count. or ‘girls that tolerated me enough to let me sit with them at lunch’)

RANDOM:

- I have break-danced

- I know a person named Jamie

- I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce (listen i don’t fucking remember. but i’m good at pronunciations and shit anyway)

- I have dyed my hair (it was really short and blonde i kinda looked like a skinhead)

- I’m listening to a song on repeat right now (tongue tied from red dwarf)

- I have punched someone in the past week

- I know someone who has gone to jail

- I have broken a bone (broke my ankle in primary school because i’m fat and dumb and tried to slide along the grass into the safezone during tag or whatever, also i broke my wrist when i was 18 because i’m fat and dumb and i was learning how to drive a scooter but i went around a corner too slow or idk unbalanced or some shit, i think i broke the mirror on it but fuck that infernal machine i had to get fucking surgery and get pins in my wrist. when i got them out it was actually the closest i’ve ever come to fainting like the doctor dude was straining hard to pull these ones on the side out and when they finally popped out and a ton of blood gushed out i like deflated and teetered in my seat a bit it was an experience)

- I have eaten a waffle today (never had a waffle)

- I know what I want to do in life (well idk about an actual career but i want to write a book and get it published and make tons of bank)

- I speak at least two languages (i took japanese for 6 years don’t fucking tell me that doesn’t count just because i can’t carry a conversation in the language. also i took a class on latin for a semester it was dope af)

- I have made a new friend in the past year