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abominationvault · 9 months ago

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Session 26: Sat 24 Feb 2024

Baldur’s Gate 3!!!! It’s great. Don't worry, me and the DM weren’t playing D&D without anyone, we were just using the Discord to talk while we fight our way across the Sword Coast.

So we found a Wand of Clench? Well, someone did. No, Quench, that was it. Jorg’ath finds a workshop - Nadia wants a go. She looks around for stuff to take with her. 16 Perception - Mostly repair materials for the upkeep of books. She does find two 2nd level scrolls of mending and one of Hypercognition. (Instantly use up to 6 recall knowledge rolls.) She offers them around. Sprocket and Skabb take the Mending scrolls but no-one can use the hypercognition one. Nadia tucks the last away, we will sell it.

More doors. For the sake of completeness, we go back on ourselves and open the one on the southern end of the corridor. A friend!

This is Jarelle Kaldrian. She is a ghost, and appears to be binding books. There is also a skeleton here in light blue robes, slumped in a corner. Jorg’ath backs out slowly. Hartvig points at the skeleton and addresses the ghost. “Hey lady! Was that you?”

She looks annoyed, but then turns sad and nods. What’s she doing?

“Binding books,” he is told.

Ghost books?

Visitors are rough with the books! If the mistress comes for a book and it’s damaged… She shakes her head. Clearly the consequences are unspeakable.

She appears to be going through the motions rather than actually working. Has the mistress been down lately, we ask her?

"Last time was a long time before my unfortunate accident." Speaking of which… this seems like a fairly low risk job, how does one… die, while binding books? Hartvig makes a Diplomacy check, already accumulating dust around his feet. 17, after a Hero point. When the mistress didn’t return, her colleagues became monstrous. Rather than become like them, she barricaded herself in here and helped herself to the arsenic.

Is arsenic a nice way to die, Skabb wonders.

Agonising, she is told. The dose has to be perfect otherwise you don’t die, but just sick it back up but it does irreversible damage.

... Yikes.

Is there a way to help her chuff off to whatever comes next? Jorg’ath suggests some axe work, but Skabb doesn’t think that will work on your incorporeals. Hartvig asks her what her job satisfaction is like. She doesn’t seem to understand. He thinks, before re-wording his question.

Why you still putting around, Skabb interrupts? Jarelle repeats her initial statement about looking after the books.

Not your responsibility any more, surely? Skabb asks. Don’t you want to go on to the next life? (Diplomacy - 20.)

Jarelle seems puzzled. "You mean I don’t need to be here?"

"Let the books rot," Skabb tells her. And just like that, she disappears.

“I thought we had a rapport, but whatever,” says Hartvig. He seems put out. What sort of books are they in here? He finds a key on the skeleton. The books are all sorts, none especially interesting. He finds a gold paperweight and a crafter’s eyepiece. It is etched with square patterns. While worn, you get a +1 item bonus to crafting checks. Nadia wants it. “Gimmegimmegimmegimme!” Hartvig hands it over, and she puts it on straight away.

We find more books for Augustus to carry as well, so we do some book tetris to get them all in. (Well; we put the books in his tummy and he jumps up and down a bit to settle them.)

There’s a conversation about goblin piss, which I will not document.

(Nadia squints at Skabb through her eyepiece to see if she looks any different; an error message pops up: “Unfixable”)

Hartvig grumbles about Skabb banishing the ghost lady before he could get her number. She has been trying to come up with a new title for herself, and immediately one comes to mind: “Blocker of Cocks!”

We move on and find another room. Luna, and only Luna, can hear laughter.

It sounds like it’s coming from the other side of the door at the other end of a short corridor, that Jorg’ath has opened. The laughter is mean-spirited, like a naughty child.

Skabb pings for magic - the chandelier pings back. She sends Grabby Cat for a - gentle! - poke around up there. There is an ever-burning torch up there. Grabby Cat tries to get it down. Nat 20 for a 24! Skabb adds it to her inventory. (Will it shine through her bag, she asks? She can deactivate it. It will never run out of fuel, she is told.)

This room is full of comfy furniture, more books, a fountain, and this fella:

(Hartvig: “Who’s this prick?”)

It is giggling, and annotating a book as it does so. Luna wants to catch and eat it. “ekekekekekkekekekekek,” she says involuntarily, pupils wide, tail swishing.

Jorg’ath admires the carpet. “I may be a big lizard, but I have exquisite taste,” he announces.

Luna jumps on the - thing? Lurker - and tries to snatch it. “I want to cram it into my mouth.” 20 Athletics! And… Initiative, though the rest of us are reluctant to get in the way of her fun.

The Lurker goes first, and casts Mote of Light, dealing 7 Force damage. Now she is affected by Lurker’s Glow:

“I don’t mind him being able to see me while I eat him,” says Luna. It claws her face.

Skabb, who speaks Sylvan, hears it say a number of disgusting things about how he’s going to rip Luna’s eyes out and peel off her skin. It uses its last action to make an escape attempt, but has a -6 penalty: it fails miserably, and she manages to hold on to it. She does want us to help her kill it after all, however, as it’s done significant damage with its claws.

She stabs twice but the second one misses even though she rolls a 20. And it’s flat footed as well so she technically rolled a 22 and it still missed.

Uhhhhh… we might be fucked.

Should she drop it and run away? If she dies she won’t be any use to anyone. It might hit her as she runs away though…? There is some discussion about attacks of opportunity. (Can it do that? Luna wonders. You'll find out when you run away, Sprocket tells her.)

“…No, fuck it, I’m going to hold on to him,” she decides. Her third attack misses by a country mile.

Sprocket casts Draw Ire, forcing a Will save. It rolls a 26. “… Fuckbiscuits.”

Save the day, Ash-man! He does Needle dart and crits! (Someone’s found his mojo.) 18 damage! Wait - he did a crit, so that’s double damage AND persistent bleeding. Woof. Wouldn’t want to be that guy. Oh wait again, the 18 WAS the crit damage. Hartvig’ll take it.

“Do I know what kind of creature this is?” Skabb asks.

“A dickhead,” Jorg’ath tells her.

She sends Grabby in to see what the light source is in here. She thinks the thing will be hurt by the dark, so she wants Grabby to put the light out or steal it.

GC rolls too low to grab it, so Skabb gives her two more actions to try again - wait, can she do that? No she can’t, balls. GRabby’ll just have a little sit on the chandelier. Skabb does Slashing Gust instead, for 16 damage.

Jorg’ath does a big Godzilla roar as he Rages and will "bash him up with a Great Axe". 12 damage, including 4 acid.

Nadia sticks it to the floor with a glue bullet, yeah. It’s stuck for six rounds! (Sprocket wants her to find a revolver, and get a feat he will call “empty the chamber”. Nadia: “I cast ‘Uzi’!”)

Luna has earned a Hero Point for roleplaying seamlessly as a cat, which is poor consolation as she’s dead when the Lurker hits her. Then it disappears, muttering about how it’s going to skin every last one of us… Uh oh. (Nadia is outraged that it escaped her glue bullet. It used Dimension Door. She's happy to find out that it is still stuck to itself, wherever it went.) Hartvig Heals Luna for 27 hit points.

“Did I eat him?” she asks as she awakens.

Someone does recall knowledge - the Lurker is fey, and evil. They sometimes hide their wings, and like to murder things for fun. They hate noble humans, and especially hate gnomes. (Jorg’ath: “Me too.”)

We look at the book it was reading; it’s in Sylvan. Skabb sighs.

There is a picture of someone being skinned alive. The annotations say things like “This looks like fun, must try that one".

Jorg’ath makes a Perception check. He spots another key between two of the chairs; it’s iron, with a symbol of Aradin (?). More books, about hauntings I think? Jorg’ath takes that one, as he’s a big fan of Derek Acorath. (Ha-cha-cha.)

Luna makes a grab for the other ever burning torch, on direction from Grabby Cat.

Jorg’ath finds a rubber ducky and is inordinately excited about it. It is in a suspiciously clean bathroom.

(He has found a book about how to create poltergeists and ghostly weapons! He gives it to Sprocket. It’s called Ineffable Hauntings.)

More doors, quick! Skabb finds some stairs that go down, and we are briefly paralysed with indecision. Skabb asks if she can send Grabby downstairs to scout, as she can be re-summoned if she dies? The DM hasn’t done the map for that layer yet, so no.

Jorg’ath finds another suspiciously clean bathroom, and then a pile of cultists and the Light Lurker - oh shit!

Initiative, and we all call for Augie…

Does 33 hit Jorg’ath? Yeah, he would say it does. In fact it is more than ten over his AC which makes it a crit - it does 24 damage to him with Mote of Light, and Lurker’s Glow.

“Help…?” he asks.

Sprocket. (“This room is a real shithouse,” Jorg’ath remarks, earning himself a Hero Point.) Augustus strides in and smashes a ghoul for 8 damage, and casts Shield on himself.

Skabb casts Disrupt Undead, and the ghoul fails its save. “Hah.” She then pours a Minor Elixir of Life down Jorg’ath’s throat.

Nadia rushes in and throws a Holy Water at a cultist and hits! She then glues him to the floor with a crit and a glue bullet. Then she spots how many ghouls are in this room. “Uhhhhhhhhh…”

Augie also rushes in and starts biting, and does it so good we start chanting his name. MVP!

The Cultist casts Phantom Pain. On whom…? Can the DM get a Will save from Nadia? (Ah shit. That's me.) She rolls an 18; she needed a 20. She takes 7 damage, and 2 Persistent. He then tries to get out of the glue; he rolls Acrobatics 24 and frees himself.

Luna is up. She moves up and takes aim at one of the ghouls. Can she hide first? She’s not in the room yet, so yes. She crits with her shortbow - and then crits her damage roll for 25! She’s one-shotted a ghoul, yeah.

Jorg’ath would like to, if possible, move in and scoop Nadia up and throw her out of the room. He succeeds his Strength check (Strength? Rude) and flings her back out into the corridor. He crits with his greatsword for 13 damage. Howdydoodis! "Uh, I run in, throwing tieflings all over the place, and bisect a ghoul."

A ghoul claws Augustus, who is Sickened 1, apparently (no-one's quite sure how), 22 hits him for 4 slashing damage. 13 misses. Another slashes at Jorg’ath, and another at Augie.

Hartvig Heals Sprocket, so that Augustus is also healed. He does a 1 actioner - wait… no, a 2 actioner. 16 plus 9 back for Augustus.

The Lurker takes his turn to do Searing Light… 40 damage to Augie.

Noooooo! He then slashes him for 12 damage, but he’s still up! Yeahhhhhhhhh. (We weren't supposed to roll good enough to have Augie come with us, and the DM has been trying his hardest to kill him off ever since.)

Sprocket casts Boost Eidolon on Augustus, and Augustus has a ‘chuntering run’ toward a ghoul, and thumps some understanding into him - well, he tries, and misses.

Skabb will Magic Missile… something. I miss what.

Nadia glues Jorg’ath’s ghoul to the floor to make it easier to hit, then misses with Bluebird. Augie kills something and then eats its flesh to heal himself. (Even though he’s bitten heads off, he STILL doesn’t get a Hero point. Unfair.)

Luna is next, and I think she’s going for that little winged shit. We hear her growling from her hiding place. 30 to hit, and it’s green! she rolls minimum on her damage roll, and does “just a measly 25”, getting the howdy doodis! She pins him to the wall like a butterfly, so she can come over later and cham his wings off.

Inspired by the cat, Jorg’ath goes into a rage. 29 and it’s also green! 26 damage plus four acid and the ghoul is dead. He goes for the next one and hits, it hits back and misses all three of its attacks.

Hartvig is out of scrolls, so he has to use his own actual spell slots now, just so we all know the sacrifices he makes. (He hardly ever gets to flense anything.) 14 hp back for Jorg’ath. He could use his last action to Guide Augie, but he hardly needs it. He casts it on Augustus instead.

Sprocket and Augustus - Sprocket Boosts him, and Augustus will move… and… “give this guy a bit of a bonkin’.” Howdy doodis! Double fist slam into the ground so he makes a horrible greasy puddle for Augie to snack on. A ghoul bisque, if you will.

Augie yoms it up, and we’re out of initiative. Skabb wants to carve the eyes out of the Lurker, one for her and one for Luna, because it said it was going to do that to them. She gives one to Nadia to make a necklace for Luna. Nadia flubs it, even with her new eyepiece AND a Hero point, and hangs on to the eye for another go later.

The DM has good news for two of us - Sprocket has ghoul fever! Skabb has contracted blue blisters from eating offal, and is developing blisters on her skin and gums.

… we’ll deal with that next week.

Well, we went another week without the DM managing to kill Augie, and we are all extremely relieved. If he ever does die, the funeral's going to be half a session at least. Until he rises again as Augie the White...

"Augie the Grey, that's what they used to call me..."

#dnd #pathfinder #abomination vaults #abomination vaults spoilers

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