#GET THE CANOLA

[nipchipcookies]

monke dying in a glue trap 😭

[paint-n-thinner]

back from the dead to say that the new inky mystery chapter is making me insane ohohohhhHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

[raspberry-gloaming]

ive recently properly got into the hunger games, and me being me one of the things that interests me most is the names and worldbuilding! so here's some quick thoughts on why foxface being called Finch can or does make sense.

Many hg names (excluding d12) are dependant on their status on the urban-rural scale of things, as well as their industries. A lot of people think district 5 is completely urban - and I get that. when you think power, electricity and all that, yeah you may think hulking, brutalistic architecture and smog and smoke and city. But that's not the only way to harvest power. As the hunger games trilogy takes place at least a couple centuries into the future, its not likely that natural gas and crude oil will be the main sources of energy. While online sources don't agree on a certain time frame for this limit, one thing they do agree is that those reserves (and this is the whole of the us not just one district) won't be lasting to reach a hunger games canon timeline time.

And in the film's there's a dam shown! a hydroelectric dam, showing they use renewable energy as at least part of their power resources. With a dam like that, we can theorise they use other water based types of renewable energy, such as tidal or wave. in addition some places also have wind turbines out at sea instead of on land. so overall this suggests district 5 is by a tidal river and/or the sea.

In addition, other forms of renewable power come from rural areas. Rapeseed and soy are the two main biodiesel fuels used for biofuels, where plants are combusted to produce electricity. that's not exactly urban - far more an 11 or 9 vibe.

So maybe Foxface comes from a rural area, or maybe Finch is a name originally from the biofuel more agricultural areas that was popularised or her parents just liked it.

So it's quite likely that with its likely cities, power plants, dams, wave and tidal energy sources, solar farms, wind turbines and biofuels, five is one of the most diverse human environmental districts. that makes it interesting to me due to how that differs from the straight up yup that's fields or yup that's quarries and a merchant sector that many of the other districts seem to have.

so give me district five characters named Finch, or Tydal or Albert or Joule or Zephyr or geothermal nuclear powerplant the second this place can do so many name vibes compared to a lot of the other districts if you look at how their naming tends to work.

[scvlly]

This is how watching the back half of warrior nun s1 went yesterday

[miss-umman-manda]

So apparently the “oil and vinegar” at subway is like 90% canola oil. wtf who even uses canola oil in that context

[fiercestpurpose]

Puppy loves shredding paper and cardboard. This is bad because puppy will acquire his own paper and cardboard, from places we do not want him to (the trash, the bathroom, things we are using, etc.). However, tearing up cardboard is not by itself a harmful thing - he doesn’t seem to ingest it, just to shred it and leave it. So it might be good for me to give him some cardboard and let him shred it, to get his destructive energy out. But I am unsure how to give him cardboard without him thinking that all cardboard is okay to consume. How do I mark the difference between things I give him (okay) and things he gets for himself (not okay)? Until I can answer that, I should probably not give him any cardboard, just so that he gets it in his head that cardboard generally is off-limits.

[fantasiavii]

When you think you’re making a healthy choice for lunch and then get violently ill after eating a salad 🙃

[got-eggs]

looking for a recipe that includes thinly sliced beef and its not going well

[moonchild9350]

A Little Sugar Goes a Long Way

Summary: you’re in need of some sugar and go to see if your neighbor Hyunjin can lend you some.

Pairing: Hyunjin x fab reader

Genre: strangers to lovers au, smut-18+MDNI

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: teasing, filthy kissing, oral sex ( m and f receiving), masturbation, nipple play, pussy slapping, cum swallowing, cum tasting, cum swapping, unprotected sex (don’t), squirting, creampie

Notes: a little break from my spooktober fics. I just can’t get enough of hyunjin. spooktober will resume tomorrow!

If you enjoyed, please consider a like, comment, reblog as it keeps me motivated!

Please do not copy, translate, modify, use, or repost this work elsewhere without my permission. ©moonchild9350 (2024)

“Flour, butter, baking powder, milk, salt, canola oil, sugar…”

You frantically looked through your cabinets, looking for the white sack that was needed to complete your recipe. You searched everywhere, but couldn’t find any, panic slowly setting in.

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath, slamming the last cabinet shut.

You were in the process of baking a cake for your friend’s birthday party tomorrow and you were missing the star ingredient. You really didn’t feel like going to the store, having to battle the crowd shopping for their own needs, being shoved this way and that as you tried to get to the aisle you needed.

You crossed your arms and tapped your foot, thinking how you could obtain the sugar. You could have it dropped to your house, but that could take longer than necessary, and plus the delivery fee was bound to be more than the cost of the sugar itself, not to mention having to tip the driver.

You were lost in thought, the idea of going to the store becoming more realistic with each passing second. Right as you decided on your decision, you remembered your neighbor Hyunjin. He recently moved in, but usually keeps to himself, with you only seeing each other in passing when you’re both on your way to work.

You could see if he had some sugar, just enough for your recipe. Making your way to your door, you slid into some shoes and grabbed your keys, leaving to go next door. It was a nice day, the sun shining, no clouds in sight. You made your way down the sidewalk and over to Hyunjin’s house, walking up the steps to his door.

Taking a breath, you rapped your knuckles on the door three times and quickly dropped your hand to wait. A minute passed and then two, with no one answering the door. You were about to turn around to return home, assuming he was out when the door swung open, a disheveled Hyunjin on the other side.

“Oh, hi,” you said, turning to face Hyunjin as you took him in. He was wearing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt splattered with different colors, and his hair up in a ponytail. You forgot how easy he was on the eyes.

He looked at you for a moment, his eyes wide as he tried to place where he knew you from. It was starting to get a little awkward until there was recognition in the brown orbs, a smile gracing his face, his dimples appearing.

“Y/n!” He exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “What are you doing here?”

“Sorry to bother you, but I um…ran out of sugar and I’m baking a cake and…” you paused for a moment and rocked back and forth on your heels. Why were you nervous?

Taking a breath you continued, “And I was wondering if I could use some sugar?”

“Oh? Of course! Come in, I’ll get you some.”

You followed Hyunjin, stepping over the threshold into his home. As you followed Hyunjin to the kitchen, your eyes wandered from room to room, taking in the simplicity of it all. It was surprisingly clean, not what you expected of him.

Once in the kitchen, you stopped by the counter and watched as he opened a cabinet, pulling out the white sac containing the ingredient you needed.

“How much do you need?” Hyunjin inquired.

“One and a half cups please,” you replied.

Hyunjin hummed and grabbed a small bag to place the sugar in. You watched as he delicately opened the bag, his fingers curling around the edge of the rim, pulling it open. Your mind couldn’t help but wander, thinking of how those fingers would feel trailing down your body, touching you where you were throbbing in between your legs.

You watched as he gripped the bag and tipped it over, measuring out the amount you needed. His veins were prominent, his muscles flexed and bulging. You shook your head, ashamed of your staring, he’s your neighbor after all.

While he finished up, you could hear the faint sound of music drifting through the house. You listened closely, familiarity dawning on you at the tune.

“Is that The Paper Kites?” You asked, a smile forming on your face.

Hyunjin looked up from his task with a look of surprise. “You know them?” He asked smiling.

“Mmhmm,” you responded, “I love them.”

Hyunjin closed the bag of sugar and set it aside, then handed you the little baggy he prepared for you.

“Not many people know them,” he said, “I was listening to them while I paint.”

“I didn’t know you painted.” You looked at the man in front of you with curiosity. You found yourself wanting to know more about him. He smiled and then looked down, pushing a strand of hair out of his face.

“I do,” he said, “would you like to see what I’m working on?”

“Absolutely,” you said with a smile. You set your bag of sugar down before following Hyunjin further into his house. The music became a little louder, the folk tune permeating the air the closer you got to where he paints.

Hyunjin gestured you inside a room, bowing slightly as you passed. You giggled at his chivalry, fascinated with this strange man.

Once inside, you stopped, taking in the room. It had the feel of organized chaos, sketch books and canvases littering the corners. Some canvases were blank, not yet graced with a story while others were covered in intricate, abstract designs.

In front of a large window, Hyunjin had set up shop. An easel with a large canvas perched on top sat in front of a large window, the view consisting of the expanse of trees. A little stool was present, where he created his stories little by little.

“Come, come,” Hyunjin said, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You followed him over to the canvas and gasped in awe at the picture in front of you. The picture was breathtaking, the swirls of colors blending in to create a beautiful scene. The people were drawn to embrace, the outlines of their bodies fading into the stormy background.

“It’s still a work in progress, but…yeah,” Hyunjin said.

He watched your face as you looked over his painting, your eyes roaming over each figure, each detail, analyzing his work with thoughtful eyes. You were beautiful in that moment, the sun’s rays trying to peak through the curtains he had over the window, illuminating your face and causing it to glow.

His eyes drifted to your lips, as you lightly bit them in contemplation, the flesh blanching briefly before blood flow returned, causing your lips to take a rosey tint once more.

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, not wanting to disturb the calm atmosphere, your eyes searching out his.

“Thank you,” Hyunjin replied, rocking back and forth on his feet.

You both stood there in silence, neither one of you knowing what to say, the music continuing to play in the background, soft and sweet.

It doesn’t begin right away, the feeling of want. It starts softly, gently, with the beating of your heart, slowly increasing to where it feels like it will jump out of your chest. The feeling moves lower until it reaches your core, a pulsing ache in this serene moment.

There’s a shift in the air, a change. What once was calm and friendly, turns into something charged and electric, almost as if the feelings between you two are now palpable, drifting through, lightly touching and caressing your skin.

Hyunjin is nervous, never having had a beautiful girl in his home, yet alone in his most sacred space. He stands there watching, waiting, as the tension grows, the feeling growing into something large, taking over his body. He feels his cock twitch within the confines of his sweats as he watches you breathe in and out, your breasts heaving with each breath.

He’s unsure of what to say, but wonders what you will do if he leans in and presses his lips to yours, feels the softness against his own. He finds himself drifting closer to you, one step at a time, his eyes never leaving yours. He’s never felt this desire before, not with any of the few encounters he’s had. He’s nervous and scared, hoping this doesn’t backfire on him, hoping you’ll accept him.

You watch as Hyunjin walks toward you, that look in his eyes as if he’s hunting his prey, yet also with a hint of fear. He’s probably nervous of what you will do if he reaches out, touches you, caresses you. He need not worry, as you begin to move toward him, meeting him half way.

Your dripping, your arousal leaking into your panties, the wetness soaking the material through. You watch as he looks at your lips and then your eyes as if he’s seeking permission.

With a slight nod of your head, he lightly grasps your face and leans down, his breath shaky until his lips meet yours. It’s just flesh against flesh at first, both of you savoring the feel of each other, the softness of your lips pressed together.

But then it changes, as Hyunjin moves his lips against yours, softly, gently, as he pulls you closer. It goes on for a few moments more before turning more hungry, more needy as the kiss becomes more heated.

He nips your bottom lip causing you to sigh, his tongue sliding in against yours at the newfound opportunity. The kiss continues to grow more passionate, more desperate as you both take each other in, needing to be closer to each other in this moment.

You pull away out of breath, Hyunjin chasing after your lips, a whine escaping with the motion. You grin and lick your lips, before pushing him backwards, slowly, one step after the other, until his legs hit his stool, causing him to collapse onto the seat.

He stares at you with wide eyes, his chest rising and falling, watch as you sink to your knees. He can’t believe his luck, not thinking his day would take this turn.

You run your hands over his thighs, rubbing them through his pants, inching higher and higher with each repetition, getting closer to the bulge that’s forming, slowly filling out his sweats. You see a wet spot forming, causing you to smile.

You continue your assault, before reaching his covered cock, placing your hand over the hard appendage. You listen to him gasp, his eyes hooded as he gazes at you. He’s hard, unbelievably so beneath your hand. You give his cock a squeeze and shift closer so you can place your hands within the confines of his waistband.

You pull his sweats down, Hyunjin helping you by lifting his hips so you can rid him of the accursed item. You noticed he wasn’t wearing boxers, his cock slapping his belly once his sweats were out of the way.

You smirked at the information, “you naughty boy,” you cooed, as you tossed his pants away.

Hyunjin gulped at your teasing. He was turned on, as you touched him, teased him, your fingertips dancing on his skin. You touch him everywhere but where he wants it most, his pelvis becoming sticky with each passing moment as his pre-cum steadily leaks from the tip. His cock twitches whenever you move, hoping in anticipation that you’ll touch him there or even better wrap your pretty lips around his cock.

You can tell he’s at his wits end, wanting you to touch him. He’s being good for you, you notice as he sits still, clenching and unclenching his fists. You decide maybe it’s time to reward him, soothe the ache you know he’s feeling.

You clench your thighs together before leaning down to press a kiss to his tip, as Hyunjin moans above you. You press kiss after kiss on the tip, the shaft, all the way back up before taking the head between your lips. You began to suckle, your tongue darting out every now and then to press against his slit.

Hyunjin is a mess, as you take him in, the feeling of your wet, hot mouth on his cock better than anything of his wildest dreams. He, however, grips your hair and lets out the loudest moan as your mouth descends further, taking him to the hilt, his cock kissing the back of his throat.

He takes a deep breath, and then another one, willing to calm himself down and not blow his load too soon. He gazes down at you, the beautiful sight of your mouth on his cock, the spit that’s dribbling out, helping with the slide.

He’s in love with the sounds you make, the little moans that you let out, the vibration causing his cock to twitch. He’s close, embarrassingly so.

You can tell Hyunjin is close as he grips your hair harder, pushes your head down more forcefully, as you take him in again and again. Your pussy quivers in need with each twitch of his cock, your mind wandering, needing him in you.

You grasp his thighs and continue to blow him, never slowing down. It’s a messy, sloppy affair, as your spit dribbles down his shaft and into the pubic hair around his cock. You moan as he presses your head down one more time and he cums with a loud groan, rope after rope of hot cum hitting the back of your throat, flooding your mouth with the salty fluid.

After a moment, Hyunjin releases your head and you sit up, your mouth full of cum. You look him in the eyes before you swallow, Hyunjin letting out a whimper as you do so.

He watches you as he comes down from his high, watches as you stand up and back away towards the little couch he keeps in his studio. He watches as you raise the shirt over your head, a black lacy bra on display. He watches as you unclasp the bra, your pillowy tits popping out, nipples hardened and prominent. He watches as you slid your leggings and panties down your legs, a string of your arousal dripping from your soaking pussy and onto your ruined panties.

Hyunjin unconsciously licks his lips, wanting to attach them to your soaked lips in front of his view. He nearly topples over as you sit down and lean back, spreading your legs wide, your pussy on display. He nearly chokes when you spread your lips, a ‘shlick’ echoing throughout the room from your wetness.

You’re wet, unbelievably so, and you know Hyunjin loves it. You watch him as you reach your fingers down, the digits landing on your pussy. You dip them into your heat, gathering up your arousal before bringing them to your clit. You swirl them around the bud, sighs leaving your lips as you apply a little more pressure. You continue to pleasure yourself until Hyunjin jumps up, tosses his shirt off, and all but practically runs to you, dropping to his knees as he whines.

He pulls you to the edge of the couch as buries his face in your pussy, causing you to squeal at the sudden intrusion. He darts his tongue out to lick a stripe from your entrance to your clit, before sucking the bud between his plush lips. He takes you in with no mercy, grasps you tighter, harder as he eats you out like a man starved.

Your hands fly to his hair, grasping the strands as he sticks his tongue into your wet heat, fucking your walls with the muscle. You cry out as he massages you, pushing him further into your sopping pussy as his nose brushes against your clit, the stimulation causing shivers to run down your spine.

You feel on fire, warmth expanding and spreading throughout your body, your toes curling, as he makes out with your delicate flower. Your moans increase in intensity, your voice rings out as you let go, releasing your arousal all over Hyunjin’s face. He steadily drinks you in, lapping up every drop as it gushing from your core.

Hyunjin groans as he tastes you, as he becomes obsessed with how you spill on his tongue. He doesn’t let up, not for a moment, even when you squirm and mewl in overstimulation. He revels in how you grip his hair, how the pain shoots through him with each tug, the sensation traveling to his cock, causing it to harden even further.

He finally pulls away, his face smothered in your arousal, the fluid glistening on his lips, his chin, his nose. He swipes his tongue over his bottom lip, savoring the taste of you as he watches you, watches your tits rise and fall with each breath, the look of infatuation on your face. He doesn’t wipe the rest of his face, no, he wants you to taste yourself on him, so you can savor the taste just as he did.

You watch as Hyunjin stands, and strokes his cock, wet sounds permeating the air with each pass. He shuffles closer to you, cock in hand as he gazes at your pussy, watching as it clenches over nothing, your cream oozing out, down your ass and onto his couch below.

He pulls his eyes away and looks into yours before asking “can I?”

You smile at him and beckon him forward, holding your legs open in invitation. He steps forward and taps your pussy with his cock, causing you both to moan at the sound, how wet you are for him, this man you’ve just met.

You sigh as he runs his cock through your folds before his tip catches at your entrance. He slowly pushes his cock in, your walls accommodating to the stretch. Inch by inch he pushes, until his cock is sheathed fully within you, snug within your walls. He stills and looks down at you, his eyes full of lust. You both breathe in tandem until you signal for him to move.

Hyunjin feels at home, sheathed between your warmth, as if his cock was made to be buried within your walls. He takes a deep breath and with your ok slides his cock out until the tip is almost out before sliding back in. He thrusts again and again before speeding up, the feeling of ecstasy spreading throughout his body.

You both are a mess as you both moan and clutch onto each other more, trying to get as close as possible as he thrusts his cock within you. You play with his ponytail, your fingers running through the strands as Hyunjin buries his face in your neck, letting out a whine.

He’s desperate for your pussy, his mind a jumbled mess as you suck him in over and over. He’s desperate in the sound it makes, talking back to him with each glide. He sits up so he can look, watch his cock stretch your walls and what he’s met with almost makes him blow his load.

His cock is coated in white, coated in your arousal. He’s in a trance as he watches his pelvis meet yours, your cream coating the hair donning his pelvis, the ‘shlick’ sound it makes as he withdraws. He’s in disbelief as your little hole stretches around his cock, his ego soaring that you take him so well.

He snaps out of his trance when he watches you reach down, your fingers playing with your clit, smearing your arousal around. He watches as you mewl, your other hand coming up to play with your tits, pinching, grasping, massaging the flesh.

He feels his cock swell with each passing moment, feels it twitch each time you clench down on him. He looks into your eyes and mutters the words that leads to both of your undoings.

“Cum with me princess.”

You squirt all over his cock, your release covering his cock, coating your thighs and drips down your ass. You moan out as Hyunjin stills, his cock twitching within, his cum painting your walls white. He fills you, thrusting a few more times for good measure before withdrawing his cock.

You watch as he kneels down once more and licks up both of your release, making sure not to leave a drop before standing up and connecting your lips with his. He pushes his cum mixed with your slick onto your tongue, as he groans deeply.

Hyunjin pulls back and stares at you, “go ahead and swallow princess,” he coos.

You do as you’re told, the mixture of salty with a bit of sweet sliding down your throat. You open your mouth afterwards, Hyunjin smiling.

“Wait here,” he mutters before grabbing his sweats and pulling them on.

You watch as he leaves the room. You didn’t have to wait long, as he comes back with a towel to clean you up. He’s soft and gentle, ensuring to clean every sticky drop up before helping you sit up.

You grin as he helps you get dressed before he sits on the ground, placing his head in your lap.

You smile down at your neighbor, cradling his face. His eyes say it all, will he see you again, will he get to feel you again. You reassure him with a look of your own, not wanting to disturb the silence of the moment.

You’re glad you didn’t go to the store to get the ingredient you needed, happy you decided to trust your neighbor to have it in his home. After all, a little sugar can go a long way.

Taglist: @jehhskz @jeonginsleftcheek @simpforleeknaur @armystay89 @palindrome969 @slut4hee @ivydoesit23 @amarecerasus @kaysungshine @fun-fanfics @baby-stay92 @velvetmoonlght

[meetsthebones]

on the verge of tears over slime going “deadass brownies are just cookies in a brownie pan! deadass.” and stanz immediately agreeing 

[leafywillow]

Onion could definitely be better! I made this post right after the game came out and hadn't even discovered onions or pumpkins yet, but there has been a lot of debate about what the best crop is! I've since decided I like pumpkins better but I think it really comes down to personal preference and how you like to play the game! :)

Some useful? tips for disney dreamlight valley in case anyone's interested:

1. Always have someone hanging out with you! Especially if the role you gave them matches what you're currently doing (crop role when you're harvesting can get you double the crops!) But either way doing literally anything gives you friendship pts with them!

2. Do NOT convert dream shards. This one is kind of everywhere but it's too true lol so save them bitches

3. Get remy's restaurant asap! it unlocks butter, milk, etc which allows you to make soufflés which you can sell for a shit ton of coins

4. ALSO upgrade your house (exterior sign NOT the interior elevator) asap as it's the only way to increase the storage in your OG house chest!

5. Canola is the best crop to make a profit. It's $25 per seed bag but sells for $100+ per crop and only takes 30 min to grow! Grow it in its native zone forest of valor to grow it even faster too

Ok that's it for now hope this helps if anyone needs it! May make more tip lists as I go if anyone's interested but also youtube videos have been my bestie for making money fast so def check out those too if you want! Happy gaming 😁😁

[graveycrd]

im trying to get back into like, a style of writing that is both authentically mine and also... actually good lol. it's tough. sometimes i just wanna be like

"and then he healed him" but like deep down i know i want more. i want it to be felt in the bones, you know? but that takes a lot of effort and care and i am rusty there tbh.

oh well, i appreciate having the chance to work on this with all of yall :)

[teaboot]

You recently mentioned not to use oil based lube on a silicone toy, as it could become porous, but what about crisco/lard (for anal only, of course)? The internet doesn't yield much conclusive answers...

Thank u for your service Σ:3

You already kinda said it at the tip, but I wanna make it extra clear:

DO NOT USE CRISCO, LARD, OIL, OR OIL-BASED LUBE ON SILICONE, JELLY, ABS PLASTIC, PLASTIC, FANTAFLESH™, CONDOMS, DENTAL DAMS, OR 'FEMALE CONDOMS'

*ONLY* USE OILS OR FATS ON METAL, SKIN, OR GLASS

OILS AND FATS OF ANY KIND WILL DISSOLVE SOFT MATERIALS AND BREAK OR WEAKEN CONDOMS SPECIFICALLY, AND WILL CREATE MICROSCOPIC OPENINGS FOR BACTERIA AND SLOWLY MELT EVERYTHING ELSE

Now to answer your other question:

I don't recommend using household products such as crisco, lard, coconut oil, canola oil, or olive oil for any penetrative activities unless you have no other option available.

For skin-on-skin or glass/metal toy anal sex, it's not the worst thing you can do, but it can lead to infections, odours, and allergic reactions. I won't say DON'T, because almost any lubricant is better than no lubricant when it comes to anal, but absolutely don't go for it as your first choice.

A lot of the arguments FOR using oily lubes are these:

"It lasts longer than water-based lube!" (Yeah, because your body absorbs the water out of water-based lubes- add a bit of water when it starts to get tacky and it'll slick right back up.)

"I have bad reactions to water-based lubes!" (A lot of drug store brand water lubes are full of harsh ingredients that react badly on sensitive skin. My favourite brand of water-based lube is Water Slide. It's one of the cheaper specialty lubes, you can buy it online, and after years of stocking it I've never heard of a bad reaction.)

"We aren't using condoms or non-glass/metal toys so we're using it to last longer!" (This is fine, and oil-based lubes are graded for this purpose so they aren't as iffy as kitchen products, but if you want options, you can consider silicone lube. It's a bit pricier, but WAY outlasts oil.)

TL/DR: You probably won't die if you use crisco/lard/olive oil/coconut oil etc. for anal sex, but it will break condoms, and your specific individual body may not like it as much as actual lube.

Important disclaimer, though: I am not a medical professional, and I've only been peddling for about four years or so now. Happily welcoming any credible corrections or additions!

Awesome question, thank you for asking!!!

[chaoticconstellation]

Actual Crumbl Sugar Cookie Recipe from a former employee who is no longer bound by their NDA:

makes approximately 55 cookies (or 200 minis!):

ingredients:

For Cookie:

2 pounds SALTED butter

1.9 pounds white sugar

1.2 pounds powdered sugar

8 eggs

4 cups of canola oil

4 tsps of ALMOND EMULSION. can substitute for extract, but use half the amount. can also swap for other flavored extracts like vanilla!

6 pounds of flour

*half ingredient packet* Crumbl uses ingredient packets to make sure that only corporate knows the recipes, but based on what’s missing from a standard cookie recipe and what happens if you forget a packet these are the approximate substitutions

5 tablespoons baking soda

5 tablespoons baking powder

For the Frosting:

1/2 a pound of SALTED butter

6 cups of heavy whipping cream (40% milk fat)

7.5 pounds powdered sugar

2 teaspoons ALMOND EMULSION *same as before can be substituted with half amount of almond extract or vanilla if you choose*

any food coloring of your choice but Crumbl uses RED. you only need *drops*

baking directions:

preheat oven to 290 degrees F or 143 C

soften your butters in your microwave, this step is crucial. you want them NOT at all melted, but soft enough to mold with your hands easily

put your butters and sugars into a large bowl, it’s easiest if this is a stand mixer, but if not an electric hand mixer is fine. you *may* attempt this by hand but i would recommend you don’t.

if you have levels choose your most medium level and beat your butter and sugar for 10 minutes. seriously. and it’s probably not done. scrape the sides, if there is any resistance it’s not done. the texture you’re going for is like passing your spatula through a cloud. you should feel no resistance, the mixture will be light, fluffy and if you feel it between your fingers it will be silky with *slight* sugary texture. imagine applying it to your face, it’s a daily cleanser not a weekly exfoliant.

when you think you’re done put it on for another 2 minutes to be safe.

turn down to level one and add your eggs, oil and flavoring. mix until it creates a creamy soup mixture.

add all of your flour and baking soda and powder.

mix until a homogeneous dough forms.

Sugar cookies at Crumbl are weighed at 4 ounces and scooped using a portion scoop to get their standard shape, then flattened to about 3/4 of an inch thick.

or if you don’t have access to a scale this recipe makes approximately 55 cookies so do your best with that.

*if you want to make minis like Crumbl does for catering the weight is 1 ounce & the baking time is 8 minutes!*

place on a parchment lined baking sheet 2 inches apart from both the other cookies and the sides of the baking sheet. This will be about 9 cookies.

bake for 14 minutes flipping half way.

if you are planning to frost these cookies here are the mandatory next steps to ensure you don’t end up with soggy cookies.

let cookies cool on either baking sheet or on a cooling rack for 20 minutes.

put as many as you can in a single flat line onto a baking tray or something that will fit in your fridge and put in the fridge for another 20 minutes.

now they will be ready to frost with the frosting in the next steps of this recipe.

frosting directions:

soften butter like above

add butter, 2 cups of heavy cream, 2.5 pounds of powdered sugar, food dye, and flavoring to your mixer.

mix on low for one minute or until mostly combined

mix on medium until smooth

mix on high for 3 minutes

turn back to low and add the rest of the cream and powdered sugar.

mix on low until mostly combined

mix on medium until smooth

mix on high for 3 more minutes.

viola! you have Crumbl Sugar Frosting.

now to frost your cookies like they do at Crumbl….

fucking good luck! — I mean…

If enough people request it I’ll do a little video.

you want a smooth flat top with a little flat swirl.



[sapphuric-acid]

Homeslice this is only tangentially related but thank you for reminding me I have bacon in the fridge bc I should probably cook that like tomorrow or something

Everyone shut the fuck up I made popcorn on the stove

Here's how you can do it too:

Lightweight pot with a thick bottom (I used this steel(?) pot we had lying around)

Lid that will fit snugly on said pot and not let steam escape

1/4 cup popcorn (or however much can fit in your pot ig)

Couple tablespoons refined coconut oil (I didn't measure but just a bit more than necessary to coat your pot)

Flavoring of your choice (I've got notes on this part)

Bowl to mix it in (if you ended up putting too much popcorn in your pot)

The reason why I said "however much can fit in your pot" is because I used 1/2 cup and it ended up pretty much filling the pot. Like that big-ass bowl is half the popcorn I made.

First melt your coconut oil and put like 3 kernels in. These are your test kernels. You know how some people say to put some water droplets in your pan before cooking pancakes to be sure your pan's hot enough? Same concept but you're just straight up using popcorn

Once those guys are all popped add in your seasoning. For authenticity sake get yourself a carton of Flavacol or pawn it off from someone who happens to own it (alternatively called "popcorn salt", this bright orange powder's the quintessential popcorn flavor). If you can't get it a bottle of Kernel Season's popcorn flavoring and some extra salt works.

Now I didn't do this part bc I wasn't sure how much to add, I added it at the end. And like yeah that works but you're gonna get a lot more even coating if you do it in advance.

Next put the popcorn in and swish it around a bit, get all the oil and flavoring over the kernels. When it starts popping, shake it every couple of seconds (tossing not necessary, just swish it around to get the popcorn going). Same concept as microwave popcorn, when the pops get as infrequent as 1 or 2 seconds between take it off the heat.

But then you just have plain (maybe salted) popcorn, if you want to put some "butter" on that get yourself some of that "Pop and Top" shit. This is that flavored soybean oil or whatever that some theaters have dispensers for.

Once again, I didn't buy this because I thought it was a waste of money, so I just melted some butter and vegetable oil and poured it over the popcorn. I do not suggest doing this because youu will end up with some kernels that are absolutely drenched because they've soaked up all the fucking butter before you could even shake the bowl/pot.

And badda-bing badda-boom you got movie theater popcorn and supplies that'll last you like forever

[hellenhighwater]

What are the pigments that you're using for the liquid in Narcissus' bowl? Also, are you adding them to water, or is the base something else?

The base liquid is mineral or baby oil--doesn't evaporate as quickly, suspends particles better, and is just a touch more viscous than water, in a way that is a little bit subtle but does register if you're paying attention. The colorants are mica and marbling powders--the mica powders sink and diffuse, and the marbling powders mostly stay on the surface.

I did tests with motor oil, canola oil, olive oil, water, and a couple other liquids, as well as oil, watercolor, and acrylic paint, powdered pigment, activated charcoal, ink, and food dyes. I eventually settled on the mica and marbling powders as the most interesting effect, but honestly none of it is quite the iridescent, oil-slick surface I would prefer if I could get it.

I also considered ferrofluid, but that's kind of expensive.