#GET THE CANOLA

[nipchipcookies]

monke dying in a glue trap 😭

[sirensea14]

Mother's love

"Mother knows best."

-Mother Gothel

Or is it really love?

[paint-n-thinner]

back from the dead to say that the new inky mystery chapter is making me insane ohohohhhHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

[raspberry-gloaming]

ive recently properly got into the hunger games, and me being me one of the things that interests me most is the names and worldbuilding! so here's some quick thoughts on why foxface being called Finch can or does make sense.

Many hg names (excluding d12) are dependant on their status on the urban-rural scale of things, as well as their industries. A lot of people think district 5 is completely urban - and I get that. when you think power, electricity and all that, yeah you may think hulking, brutalistic architecture and smog and smoke and city. But that's not the only way to harvest power. As the hunger games trilogy takes place at least a couple centuries into the future, its not likely that natural gas and crude oil will be the main sources of energy. While online sources don't agree on a certain time frame for this limit, one thing they do agree is that those reserves (and this is the whole of the us not just one district) won't be lasting to reach a hunger games canon timeline time.

And in the film's there's a dam shown! a hydroelectric dam, showing they use renewable energy as at least part of their power resources. With a dam like that, we can theorise they use other water based types of renewable energy, such as tidal or wave. in addition some places also have wind turbines out at sea instead of on land. so overall this suggests district 5 is by a tidal river and/or the sea.

In addition, other forms of renewable power come from rural areas. Rapeseed and soy are the two main biodiesel fuels used for biofuels, where plants are combusted to produce electricity. that's not exactly urban - far more an 11 or 9 vibe.

So maybe Foxface comes from a rural area, or maybe Finch is a name originally from the biofuel more agricultural areas that was popularised or her parents just liked it.

So it's quite likely that with its likely cities, power plants, dams, wave and tidal energy sources, solar farms, wind turbines and biofuels, five is one of the most diverse human environmental districts. that makes it interesting to me due to how that differs from the straight up yup that's fields or yup that's quarries and a merchant sector that many of the other districts seem to have.

so give me district five characters named Finch, or Tydal or Albert or Joule or Zephyr or geothermal nuclear powerplant the second this place can do so many name vibes compared to a lot of the other districts if you look at how their naming tends to work.

[miss-umman-manda]

So apparently the “oil and vinegar” at subway is like 90% canola oil. wtf who even uses canola oil in that context

[fiercestpurpose]

Puppy loves shredding paper and cardboard. This is bad because puppy will acquire his own paper and cardboard, from places we do not want him to (the trash, the bathroom, things we are using, etc.). However, tearing up cardboard is not by itself a harmful thing - he doesn’t seem to ingest it, just to shred it and leave it. So it might be good for me to give him some cardboard and let him shred it, to get his destructive energy out. But I am unsure how to give him cardboard without him thinking that all cardboard is okay to consume. How do I mark the difference between things I give him (okay) and things he gets for himself (not okay)? Until I can answer that, I should probably not give him any cardboard, just so that he gets it in his head that cardboard generally is off-limits.

[eggpea]

looking for a recipe that includes thinly sliced beef and its not going well

[bakrahispul]

To find a lover so swift with the tongue and swifter with his guile was an uncommon presence in these woods. The peaceful nature and serenity among peers can leave lacking in room for taste. It was not that any other partner was boring to Halsin - but that something new and exciting delved through the monotony like the very dagger sheathed on Astarion's hip. Love and lust can dance freely as the wind blows, but there will always be an individual to curve their motions around them at any moment.

Now seated upon that lustful throne, Astarion had a full view of his meal. Unraveling and exposing their bodies to the cozy mountain air was not a problem when the vampire had his own personal heater right below him. Pale, supple skin met strong, taught flesh. Smooth, effortless surfaces set upon wiry, cushioned hair. The druid's body was the very antithesis of the high elf's peak beauty.

"The scene replays amidst my dreams. It's a comfortable aide for my slumber. Though, I'll have a new memory to reflect upon if that rear will let me." Halsin teased, his charm staying ever-ready to strike.

The brief flash of cold that made contact with him was still a surprise. Thoughts wandered to a corpse and their lifeless, cold frames - yet right before him was a sassy, devious creature whose idea of fun involved a bit of pleasure through carnage. Yet again he had to allay his fears: Astarion is alive as he could ever be, and that was what mattered. Delusion suited Halsin's thoughts more. Undead could not be this attractive, right?

Right on cue, his heated prick stood to attention. Riding up against those elven buns, the girth seemed to fit perfectly in that crevasse, 'hotdogging' it if one would until the casual bucks of the druid ran tension and heat across every inch of Astarion's rear. Reckless, that spattering of pre served to line and lubricate, though it would not do good for actual penetration. It still didn't stop Halsin from lining his manhood in a prime, glistening coat.

With his left arm reaching out, a fickle green glow entwined upon Halsin's bicep. The shuffling of leaves revealed the vines retrieving a speck of nature's flora: Canola. Balled into his palms, Halsin blew gently upon the crushed crop, sizzling it with mild, magical heat.

Astarion's sights were rewarded with a drizzle of golden fluid cascading down the druid's arm. Deep and coloured like the leaf of a sunflower, the ambrosial fluid was put to use as he watched Halsin's hands reach behind him, stroking softly before the wet plap of his sex struck that perky rear.

"I was going to go as dry as a desert, but then I realized that pleasure should overcome pain first." Halsin chuckled, priming his entry.

The poor man could not be any more wrong, but he had yet to learn soon enough.

The excess was left for Astarion's shaft, encompassing his member in those powerful palms like it was its very own orifice. fingers lined themselves up to the ridge, while the thumb coiled right at the base before the sensual shift stimulated the flesh, stroking...stroking.

"Claim your throne, now. I want to see how much it can take."

With a piercing gaze, the druid kept his unbridled hunger in check: ever the gentleman, he gave Astarion the first motion before he let himself loose.

“I’m surprised you claimed to love me so swiftly.” Astarion’s smile was all bite and seduction– charming, boyish, and as roguish as a dagger sunk between ribs.

In life, a shift like this, Halsin upending the ground beneath him, pulling Astarion on top, the firm wheel of strength giving way to surrender, would have stolen the breath clean out of his lungs, left him gasping. In death, he only mimicked it, gave himself to the moment, the slow burn of a stare that ate away at him like the flame did to a scented candle. Halsin’s eyes, all heat and intent, were a marauder’s gaze. Somewhere beneath the surface, instinct bared its teeth— Astarion wanted to drink him down, to soak himself in blood and flesh and something far more ruinous, ten times more maddening than mere lust. But that other part, the sentimental one, wanted only to choke on this particular brand of poison. Addiction, sentiment, whatever you’d like to call it. A tether that pulled them together, ball and chain, man and beast.

The opposites of a magnet snapping into contact.

“Inside me?” He laughed, low and rich, tongue sweeping the seam of Halsin’s lips, as if toying with the very shape of the elf’s restraint, pulling it by the strings a little and watching it snap. “It’s not like how you’d imagine, you know? Mortals… so soft, so predictable. Doing it to a vampire though?” A drawl, a slurred hum, fingers combing through Halsin’s hair, pale and spider-like until they curled into a cruel tug, strong enough to tilt the elf's chin, force his face up. “It’s colder inside,” Astarion’s confession twisted into provocation. “But you can keep it warm if you thrust long and hard… Do you still remember what it was like? That night. When I was inside you…” Nearing his mouth to Halsin’s jaw cut off speech in favour of a kiss that dragged itself from that very tender spot to the supple skin of the druid’s exposed neck.

There were not many men like Halsin in the world, steady, firm, resolute, and fewer still who even dreamed of submitting.

But when he did, Astarion made an addict of him. And oh, how he loved that high.

[moonchild9350]

A Little Sugar Goes a Long Way

Summary: you’re in need of some sugar and go to see if your neighbor Hyunjin can lend you some.

Pairing: Hyunjin x fab reader

Genre: strangers to lovers au, smut-18+MDNI

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: teasing, filthy kissing, oral sex ( m and f receiving), masturbation, nipple play, pussy slapping, cum swallowing, cum tasting, cum swapping, unprotected sex (don’t), squirting, creampie

Notes: a little break from my spooktober fics. I just can’t get enough of hyunjin. spooktober will resume tomorrow!

If you enjoyed, please consider a like, comment, reblog as it keeps me motivated!

Please do not copy, translate, modify, use, or repost this work elsewhere without my permission. ©moonchild9350 (2024)

“Flour, butter, baking powder, milk, salt, canola oil, sugar…”

You frantically looked through your cabinets, looking for the white sack that was needed to complete your recipe. You searched everywhere, but couldn’t find any, panic slowly setting in.

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath, slamming the last cabinet shut.

You were in the process of baking a cake for your friend’s birthday party tomorrow and you were missing the star ingredient. You really didn’t feel like going to the store, having to battle the crowd shopping for their own needs, being shoved this way and that as you tried to get to the aisle you needed.

You crossed your arms and tapped your foot, thinking how you could obtain the sugar. You could have it dropped to your house, but that could take longer than necessary, and plus the delivery fee was bound to be more than the cost of the sugar itself, not to mention having to tip the driver.

You were lost in thought, the idea of going to the store becoming more realistic with each passing second. Right as you decided on your decision, you remembered your neighbor Hyunjin. He recently moved in, but usually keeps to himself, with you only seeing each other in passing when you’re both on your way to work.

You could see if he had some sugar, just enough for your recipe. Making your way to your door, you slid into some shoes and grabbed your keys, leaving to go next door. It was a nice day, the sun shining, no clouds in sight. You made your way down the sidewalk and over to Hyunjin’s house, walking up the steps to his door.

Taking a breath, you rapped your knuckles on the door three times and quickly dropped your hand to wait. A minute passed and then two, with no one answering the door. You were about to turn around to return home, assuming he was out when the door swung open, a disheveled Hyunjin on the other side.

“Oh, hi,” you said, turning to face Hyunjin as you took him in. He was wearing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt splattered with different colors, and his hair up in a ponytail. You forgot how easy he was on the eyes.

He looked at you for a moment, his eyes wide as he tried to place where he knew you from. It was starting to get a little awkward until there was recognition in the brown orbs, a smile gracing his face, his dimples appearing.

“Y/n!” He exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “What are you doing here?”

“Sorry to bother you, but I um…ran out of sugar and I’m baking a cake and…” you paused for a moment and rocked back and forth on your heels. Why were you nervous?

Taking a breath you continued, “And I was wondering if I could use some sugar?”

“Oh? Of course! Come in, I’ll get you some.”

You followed Hyunjin, stepping over the threshold into his home. As you followed Hyunjin to the kitchen, your eyes wandered from room to room, taking in the simplicity of it all. It was surprisingly clean, not what you expected of him.

Once in the kitchen, you stopped by the counter and watched as he opened a cabinet, pulling out the white sac containing the ingredient you needed.

“How much do you need?” Hyunjin inquired.

“One and a half cups please,” you replied.

Hyunjin hummed and grabbed a small bag to place the sugar in. You watched as he delicately opened the bag, his fingers curling around the edge of the rim, pulling it open. Your mind couldn’t help but wander, thinking of how those fingers would feel trailing down your body, touching you where you were throbbing in between your legs.

You watched as he gripped the bag and tipped it over, measuring out the amount you needed. His veins were prominent, his muscles flexed and bulging. You shook your head, ashamed of your staring, he’s your neighbor after all.

While he finished up, you could hear the faint sound of music drifting through the house. You listened closely, familiarity dawning on you at the tune.

“Is that The Paper Kites?” You asked, a smile forming on your face.

Hyunjin looked up from his task with a look of surprise. “You know them?” He asked smiling.

“Mmhmm,” you responded, “I love them.”

Hyunjin closed the bag of sugar and set it aside, then handed you the little baggy he prepared for you.

“Not many people know them,” he said, “I was listening to them while I paint.”

“I didn’t know you painted.” You looked at the man in front of you with curiosity. You found yourself wanting to know more about him. He smiled and then looked down, pushing a strand of hair out of his face.

“I do,” he said, “would you like to see what I’m working on?”

“Absolutely,” you said with a smile. You set your bag of sugar down before following Hyunjin further into his house. The music became a little louder, the folk tune permeating the air the closer you got to where he paints.

Hyunjin gestured you inside a room, bowing slightly as you passed. You giggled at his chivalry, fascinated with this strange man.

Once inside, you stopped, taking in the room. It had the feel of organized chaos, sketch books and canvases littering the corners. Some canvases were blank, not yet graced with a story while others were covered in intricate, abstract designs.

In front of a large window, Hyunjin had set up shop. An easel with a large canvas perched on top sat in front of a large window, the view consisting of the expanse of trees. A little stool was present, where he created his stories little by little.

“Come, come,” Hyunjin said, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You followed him over to the canvas and gasped in awe at the picture in front of you. The picture was breathtaking, the swirls of colors blending in to create a beautiful scene. The people were drawn to embrace, the outlines of their bodies fading into the stormy background.

“It’s still a work in progress, but…yeah,” Hyunjin said.

He watched your face as you looked over his painting, your eyes roaming over each figure, each detail, analyzing his work with thoughtful eyes. You were beautiful in that moment, the sun’s rays trying to peak through the curtains he had over the window, illuminating your face and causing it to glow.

His eyes drifted to your lips, as you lightly bit them in contemplation, the flesh blanching briefly before blood flow returned, causing your lips to take a rosey tint once more.

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, not wanting to disturb the calm atmosphere, your eyes searching out his.

“Thank you,” Hyunjin replied, rocking back and forth on his feet.

You both stood there in silence, neither one of you knowing what to say, the music continuing to play in the background, soft and sweet.

It doesn’t begin right away, the feeling of want. It starts softly, gently, with the beating of your heart, slowly increasing to where it feels like it will jump out of your chest. The feeling moves lower until it reaches your core, a pulsing ache in this serene moment.

There’s a shift in the air, a change. What once was calm and friendly, turns into something charged and electric, almost as if the feelings between you two are now palpable, drifting through, lightly touching and caressing your skin.

Hyunjin is nervous, never having had a beautiful girl in his home, yet alone in his most sacred space. He stands there watching, waiting, as the tension grows, the feeling growing into something large, taking over his body. He feels his cock twitch within the confines of his sweats as he watches you breathe in and out, your breasts heaving with each breath.

He’s unsure of what to say, but wonders what you will do if he leans in and presses his lips to yours, feels the softness against his own. He finds himself drifting closer to you, one step at a time, his eyes never leaving yours. He’s never felt this desire before, not with any of the few encounters he’s had. He’s nervous and scared, hoping this doesn’t backfire on him, hoping you’ll accept him.

You watch as Hyunjin walks toward you, that look in his eyes as if he’s hunting his prey, yet also with a hint of fear. He’s probably nervous of what you will do if he reaches out, touches you, caresses you. He need not worry, as you begin to move toward him, meeting him half way.

Your dripping, your arousal leaking into your panties, the wetness soaking the material through. You watch as he looks at your lips and then your eyes as if he’s seeking permission.

With a slight nod of your head, he lightly grasps your face and leans down, his breath shaky until his lips meet yours. It’s just flesh against flesh at first, both of you savoring the feel of each other, the softness of your lips pressed together.

But then it changes, as Hyunjin moves his lips against yours, softly, gently, as he pulls you closer. It goes on for a few moments more before turning more hungry, more needy as the kiss becomes more heated.

He nips your bottom lip causing you to sigh, his tongue sliding in against yours at the newfound opportunity. The kiss continues to grow more passionate, more desperate as you both take each other in, needing to be closer to each other in this moment.

You pull away out of breath, Hyunjin chasing after your lips, a whine escaping with the motion. You grin and lick your lips, before pushing him backwards, slowly, one step after the other, until his legs hit his stool, causing him to collapse onto the seat.

He stares at you with wide eyes, his chest rising and falling, watch as you sink to your knees. He can’t believe his luck, not thinking his day would take this turn.

You run your hands over his thighs, rubbing them through his pants, inching higher and higher with each repetition, getting closer to the bulge that’s forming, slowly filling out his sweats. You see a wet spot forming, causing you to smile.

You continue your assault, before reaching his covered cock, placing your hand over the hard appendage. You listen to him gasp, his eyes hooded as he gazes at you. He’s hard, unbelievably so beneath your hand. You give his cock a squeeze and shift closer so you can place your hands within the confines of his waistband.

You pull his sweats down, Hyunjin helping you by lifting his hips so you can rid him of the accursed item. You noticed he wasn’t wearing boxers, his cock slapping his belly once his sweats were out of the way.

You smirked at the information, “you naughty boy,” you cooed, as you tossed his pants away.

Hyunjin gulped at your teasing. He was turned on, as you touched him, teased him, your fingertips dancing on his skin. You touch him everywhere but where he wants it most, his pelvis becoming sticky with each passing moment as his pre-cum steadily leaks from the tip. His cock twitches whenever you move, hoping in anticipation that you’ll touch him there or even better wrap your pretty lips around his cock.

You can tell he’s at his wits end, wanting you to touch him. He’s being good for you, you notice as he sits still, clenching and unclenching his fists. You decide maybe it’s time to reward him, soothe the ache you know he’s feeling.

You clench your thighs together before leaning down to press a kiss to his tip, as Hyunjin moans above you. You press kiss after kiss on the tip, the shaft, all the way back up before taking the head between your lips. You began to suckle, your tongue darting out every now and then to press against his slit.

Hyunjin is a mess, as you take him in, the feeling of your wet, hot mouth on his cock better than anything of his wildest dreams. He, however, grips your hair and lets out the loudest moan as your mouth descends further, taking him to the hilt, his cock kissing the back of his throat.

He takes a deep breath, and then another one, willing to calm himself down and not blow his load too soon. He gazes down at you, the beautiful sight of your mouth on his cock, the spit that’s dribbling out, helping with the slide.

He’s in love with the sounds you make, the little moans that you let out, the vibration causing his cock to twitch. He’s close, embarrassingly so.

You can tell Hyunjin is close as he grips your hair harder, pushes your head down more forcefully, as you take him in again and again. Your pussy quivers in need with each twitch of his cock, your mind wandering, needing him in you.

You grasp his thighs and continue to blow him, never slowing down. It’s a messy, sloppy affair, as your spit dribbles down his shaft and into the pubic hair around his cock. You moan as he presses your head down one more time and he cums with a loud groan, rope after rope of hot cum hitting the back of your throat, flooding your mouth with the salty fluid.

After a moment, Hyunjin releases your head and you sit up, your mouth full of cum. You look him in the eyes before you swallow, Hyunjin letting out a whimper as you do so.

He watches you as he comes down from his high, watches as you stand up and back away towards the little couch he keeps in his studio. He watches as you raise the shirt over your head, a black lacy bra on display. He watches as you unclasp the bra, your pillowy tits popping out, nipples hardened and prominent. He watches as you slid your leggings and panties down your legs, a string of your arousal dripping from your soaking pussy and onto your ruined panties.

Hyunjin unconsciously licks his lips, wanting to attach them to your soaked lips in front of his view. He nearly topples over as you sit down and lean back, spreading your legs wide, your pussy on display. He nearly chokes when you spread your lips, a ‘shlick’ echoing throughout the room from your wetness.

You’re wet, unbelievably so, and you know Hyunjin loves it. You watch him as you reach your fingers down, the digits landing on your pussy. You dip them into your heat, gathering up your arousal before bringing them to your clit. You swirl them around the bud, sighs leaving your lips as you apply a little more pressure. You continue to pleasure yourself until Hyunjin jumps up, tosses his shirt off, and all but practically runs to you, dropping to his knees as he whines.

He pulls you to the edge of the couch as buries his face in your pussy, causing you to squeal at the sudden intrusion. He darts his tongue out to lick a stripe from your entrance to your clit, before sucking the bud between his plush lips. He takes you in with no mercy, grasps you tighter, harder as he eats you out like a man starved.

Your hands fly to his hair, grasping the strands as he sticks his tongue into your wet heat, fucking your walls with the muscle. You cry out as he massages you, pushing him further into your sopping pussy as his nose brushes against your clit, the stimulation causing shivers to run down your spine.

You feel on fire, warmth expanding and spreading throughout your body, your toes curling, as he makes out with your delicate flower. Your moans increase in intensity, your voice rings out as you let go, releasing your arousal all over Hyunjin’s face. He steadily drinks you in, lapping up every drop as it gushing from your core.

Hyunjin groans as he tastes you, as he becomes obsessed with how you spill on his tongue. He doesn’t let up, not for a moment, even when you squirm and mewl in overstimulation. He revels in how you grip his hair, how the pain shoots through him with each tug, the sensation traveling to his cock, causing it to harden even further.

He finally pulls away, his face smothered in your arousal, the fluid glistening on his lips, his chin, his nose. He swipes his tongue over his bottom lip, savoring the taste of you as he watches you, watches your tits rise and fall with each breath, the look of infatuation on your face. He doesn’t wipe the rest of his face, no, he wants you to taste yourself on him, so you can savor the taste just as he did.

You watch as Hyunjin stands, and strokes his cock, wet sounds permeating the air with each pass. He shuffles closer to you, cock in hand as he gazes at your pussy, watching as it clenches over nothing, your cream oozing out, down your ass and onto his couch below.

He pulls his eyes away and looks into yours before asking “can I?”

You smile at him and beckon him forward, holding your legs open in invitation. He steps forward and taps your pussy with his cock, causing you both to moan at the sound, how wet you are for him, this man you’ve just met.

You sigh as he runs his cock through your folds before his tip catches at your entrance. He slowly pushes his cock in, your walls accommodating to the stretch. Inch by inch he pushes, until his cock is sheathed fully within you, snug within your walls. He stills and looks down at you, his eyes full of lust. You both breathe in tandem until you signal for him to move.

Hyunjin feels at home, sheathed between your warmth, as if his cock was made to be buried within your walls. He takes a deep breath and with your ok slides his cock out until the tip is almost out before sliding back in. He thrusts again and again before speeding up, the feeling of ecstasy spreading throughout his body.

You both are a mess as you both moan and clutch onto each other more, trying to get as close as possible as he thrusts his cock within you. You play with his ponytail, your fingers running through the strands as Hyunjin buries his face in your neck, letting out a whine.

He’s desperate for your pussy, his mind a jumbled mess as you suck him in over and over. He’s desperate in the sound it makes, talking back to him with each glide. He sits up so he can look, watch his cock stretch your walls and what he’s met with almost makes him blow his load.

His cock is coated in white, coated in your arousal. He’s in a trance as he watches his pelvis meet yours, your cream coating the hair donning his pelvis, the ‘shlick’ sound it makes as he withdraws. He’s in disbelief as your little hole stretches around his cock, his ego soaring that you take him so well.

He snaps out of his trance when he watches you reach down, your fingers playing with your clit, smearing your arousal around. He watches as you mewl, your other hand coming up to play with your tits, pinching, grasping, massaging the flesh.

He feels his cock swell with each passing moment, feels it twitch each time you clench down on him. He looks into your eyes and mutters the words that leads to both of your undoings.

“Cum with me princess.”

You squirt all over his cock, your release covering his cock, coating your thighs and drips down your ass. You moan out as Hyunjin stills, his cock twitching within, his cum painting your walls white. He fills you, thrusting a few more times for good measure before withdrawing his cock.

You watch as he kneels down once more and licks up both of your release, making sure not to leave a drop before standing up and connecting your lips with his. He pushes his cum mixed with your slick onto your tongue, as he groans deeply.

Hyunjin pulls back and stares at you, “go ahead and swallow princess,” he coos.

You do as you’re told, the mixture of salty with a bit of sweet sliding down your throat. You open your mouth afterwards, Hyunjin smiling.

“Wait here,” he mutters before grabbing his sweats and pulling them on.

You watch as he leaves the room. You didn’t have to wait long, as he comes back with a towel to clean you up. He’s soft and gentle, ensuring to clean every sticky drop up before helping you sit up.

You grin as he helps you get dressed before he sits on the ground, placing his head in your lap.

You smile down at your neighbor, cradling his face. His eyes say it all, will he see you again, will he get to feel you again. You reassure him with a look of your own, not wanting to disturb the silence of the moment.

You’re glad you didn’t go to the store to get the ingredient you needed, happy you decided to trust your neighbor to have it in his home. After all, a little sugar can go a long way.

Taglist: @jehhskz @jeonginsleftcheek @simpforleeknaur @armystay89 @palindrome969 @slut4hee @ivydoesit23 @amarecerasus @kaysungshine @fun-fanfics @baby-stay92 @velvetmoonlght

[teaboot]

You recently mentioned not to use oil based lube on a silicone toy, as it could become porous, but what about crisco/lard (for anal only, of course)? The internet doesn't yield much conclusive answers...

Thank u for your service Σ:3

You already kinda said it at the tip, but I wanna make it extra clear:

DO NOT USE CRISCO, LARD, OIL, OR OIL-BASED LUBE ON SILICONE, JELLY, ABS PLASTIC, PLASTIC, FANTAFLESH™, CONDOMS, DENTAL DAMS, OR 'FEMALE CONDOMS'

*ONLY* USE OILS OR FATS ON METAL, SKIN, OR GLASS

OILS AND FATS OF ANY KIND WILL DISSOLVE SOFT MATERIALS AND BREAK OR WEAKEN CONDOMS SPECIFICALLY, AND WILL CREATE MICROSCOPIC OPENINGS FOR BACTERIA AND SLOWLY MELT EVERYTHING ELSE

Now to answer your other question:

I don't recommend using household products such as crisco, lard, coconut oil, canola oil, or olive oil for any penetrative activities unless you have no other option available.

For skin-on-skin or glass/metal toy anal sex, it's not the worst thing you can do, but it can lead to infections, odours, and allergic reactions. I won't say DON'T, because almost any lubricant is better than no lubricant when it comes to anal, but absolutely don't go for it as your first choice.

A lot of the arguments FOR using oily lubes are these:

"It lasts longer than water-based lube!" (Yeah, because your body absorbs the water out of water-based lubes- add a bit of water when it starts to get tacky and it'll slick right back up.)

"I have bad reactions to water-based lubes!" (A lot of drug store brand water lubes are full of harsh ingredients that react badly on sensitive skin. My favourite brand of water-based lube is Water Slide. It's one of the cheaper specialty lubes, you can buy it online, and after years of stocking it I've never heard of a bad reaction.)

"We aren't using condoms or non-glass/metal toys so we're using it to last longer!" (This is fine, and oil-based lubes are graded for this purpose so they aren't as iffy as kitchen products, but if you want options, you can consider silicone lube. It's a bit pricier, but WAY outlasts oil.)

TL/DR: You probably won't die if you use crisco/lard/olive oil/coconut oil etc. for anal sex, but it will break condoms, and your specific individual body may not like it as much as actual lube.

Important disclaimer, though: I am not a medical professional, and I've only been peddling for about four years or so now. Happily welcoming any credible corrections or additions!

Awesome question, thank you for asking!!!

[lyrablack1883]

Harry steps closer to the field, his shoes crunching over gravel before he steps onto soft grass.

"These fields," he repeats, slowly reaching out and brushing a hand over the tall canola flowers. Still green and young, they haven't yet reached the brightness of Cornwall's canola fields. Harry stares intensely across the field, his eyes narrowed with focus. As though, if he looks hard enough, he might see the ghost of a young Draco racing between the canola plants.

Harry grins and takes a step forward.

"Where are you going?" Draco asks, sounding slightly startled.

"Away from you," Harry says, and takes off.

It's one thing he and Draco have in common: a lonely childhood. The only time Harry ever got close to playing games like tag was when he found himself running for his life as a jeering Dudley waddled after him, or Aunt Marge's bulldogs snapped at his heels. It's a very different experience to be racing through a field, the night sky clear and crisp above him, listening to the sound of light footsteps behind him. Draco's voice cuts across the field.

"You're insane, Potter! Are you seriously playing games — "

"We're playing games, you mean," he calls over his shoulder. "You're chasing me, after all."

"I am not chasing you! Get back here!"

"Make me!" Harry laughs and picks up speed; behind him, the footsteps quicken. Harry takes a sharp left, feeling the thin stalks of the canola plants feather through his fingers. He zig-zags his way across the field, running faster and faster until all he can hear is the blood thumping in his ears, the effort of breathing in his throat, and then he pauses. He can't hear footsteps behind him anymore.

Harry turns around. The field seems empty, the canola plants swaying gently in the night air. He frowns, his brow creasing, and drops his hands to his side, his fingers slowly uncurling. The silent night gives nothing away; not the slightest footstep nor the faintest draw of breath. Harry takes a step backwards.

Someone grabs him; he shouts out and nearly jumps out of his skin. Behind him, Draco starts laughing, his arms still around Harry.

"You shrieked," Draco manages between fits of laughter, his voice unnervingly close to Harry's ear. Harry reddens.

"I did not! I — I shouted, that's all. You startled me," he adds accusingly.

"You shrieked, admit it. For a moment, I thought I'd grabbed Astoria."

"Oh, very funny! Hey — where are you going?" Harry asks as Draco drops his arms and turns, poised to flee.

"Catch me." And Draco's bolting away, quick as a fox, racing through the field again.

Harry starts running.

��—

Illustration based on this specific scene from running on air by @tinyhistory (eleventy7)

This is part 1 of the illustration I drew for an edit

The edit :

[leafywillow]

Onion could definitely be better! I made this post right after the game came out and hadn't even discovered onions or pumpkins yet, but there has been a lot of debate about what the best crop is! I've since decided I like pumpkins better but I think it really comes down to personal preference and how you like to play the game! :)

Some useful? tips for disney dreamlight valley in case anyone's interested:

1. Always have someone hanging out with you! Especially if the role you gave them matches what you're currently doing (crop role when you're harvesting can get you double the crops!) But either way doing literally anything gives you friendship pts with them!

2. Do NOT convert dream shards. This one is kind of everywhere but it's too true lol so save them bitches

3. Get remy's restaurant asap! it unlocks butter, milk, etc which allows you to make soufflés which you can sell for a shit ton of coins

4. ALSO upgrade your house (exterior sign NOT the interior elevator) asap as it's the only way to increase the storage in your OG house chest!

5. Canola is the best crop to make a profit. It's $25 per seed bag but sells for $100+ per crop and only takes 30 min to grow! Grow it in its native zone forest of valor to grow it even faster too

Ok that's it for now hope this helps if anyone needs it! May make more tip lists as I go if anyone's interested but also youtube videos have been my bestie for making money fast so def check out those too if you want! Happy gaming 😁😁

[mortiskiller]

How I Manage Food Costs as a Feedist

Preface: I often see people in this community post about struggling with food insecurity and managing food costs. These are just some tips that have helped me when I was down to the last few dollars and needed to eat for a few weeks. I understand circumstances are different for everyone, and some people struggle even with this level of food security, I have been there. My intention is to help.

With food prices still high—often due to profit gouging—I’ve found ways to manage my food budget, and the secret is simple: **eat at home!** Growing up in extreme poverty with two working parents, eating at home was pretty much our only option, aside from takeout once every few months. My parents taught me the value of home cooking, and while it takes time to develop essential skills, Making sauces, learning how to prep and clean ingredients, cooking veggies, preparing meats, etc., once you have them, there’s a whole world of recipes within reach.

Here’s how I manage food costs, and how you can too:

1. Weekly/Monthly Shopping Essentials

Start with the basics—items you’ll need to shop for regularly to cover your meals for a week or two. Building a pantry depends on the storage space you have, but here are some key ingredients to keep on hand:

- Milk (1 to 2 gallons, depending on your choice—I go with 1%)

- Eggs (18 count)

- Bread (1 loaf) (I also recommend tortillas as they last longer than bread and can be used for nearly any bread needs)

- Rolls or Croissants (If you shop at a bulk store, you can get a dozen for $6.)

- Fruits: Change with the season, but apples, oranges, and grapes are solid year-round choices. In the summer, throw in some berries and stone fruit.

- Veggies for Prep: Stick to simple, versatile veggies like green bell peppers, zucchini, onions, potatoes, and chilies.

- Butter: Unsalted sweet cream butter is my favorite! Go for sticks instead of tubs for a better per-unit cost.

- Leafy Greens: A bag of spinach or romaine hearts

- Cheese: Shredded cheese works best and if you want to save more, buy a block and slice or shred it yourself.

These staples give you a variety of flavors, textures, and nutrition to build meals around, whether you’re whipping up sides, salads, or more complex dishes.

2. Protein, Protein, Protein!

Protein is an essential part of a healthy diet, but you don’t need to overdo it or overspend. I’ve found that chicken and tofu are some of the most affordable and versatile protein sources available (unless you’re hunting your own!). Both freeze well and can be used in a variety of recipes with different seasonings and marinades.

You can also look at beef, but stick to lean beef and fish as you do not want to pay for fat that will not end up in your food.

3. Shelf-Stable Items to Buy in Bulk

Buying in bulk can be a game changer, especially if you stock up on shelf-stable items. If you’re short on storage space, invest in an airtight tote to keep things organized. Start with common essentials like:

- Flour (Good ole AP with cover you most of the time)

- Sugar

- Baking Powder

- Baking Soda

- Brown Sugar

- Cooking Oil (I go for olive oil and canola oil)

These staples are the foundation of countless recipes and, when stored properly, can last for months or even a year.

4. Season Early, Season Often

Spices are what make food magical! You don’t need fancy brands—stick with basics that offer single-ingredient profiles. My go-to spices are:

- Salt

- Pepper

- Garlic Powder

- Onion Powder

- Thyme

- Oregano

- Paprika

- Cumin

- Cinnamon

- Chili Powder

- Vanilla Extract

- Bouillon Cubes

- Red Pepper Flakes

These spices will give you all the flavor you need to create a variety of meals without breaking the bank.

5. Canned Goods: The Unsung Hero

Canned goods are a staple in my kitchen. They offer consistent quality, low prices, and a long shelf life. Plus, they’re great for backup when fresh ingredients are low. Some key canned items to keep on hand are:

- Pinto Beans

- Crushed Tomatoes

- Tomato Paste

- Tomato Sauce

- Boiled White Potatoes

- Herring or Sardines

- Tuna

- Fruit Cocktail

- Peaches

- Pears

- Broth or Stock

These ingredients can help you create filling and versatile meals on a budget.

6. Where You Shop Matters

The store you shop at can make a huge difference in food prices. Here’s how to stretch your budget even further:

Bulk Stores: Invest in a membership at places like Sam’s Club, Costco, or BJ’s. The $100 yearly fee is usually paid for in savings after just a few trips. Protein, especially beef and fish, is almost always cheaper in bulk stores.

Walmart and Aldi: These stores are great for extras like frozen veggies, fresh produce, dairy items, and baked goods. Their prices are hard to beat!

Hope this helps and feel free to reblog or comment with your own tips and tricks!

Stick to Your List: One of the easiest ways to overspend and waste food is by shopping without a plan. Make a list, and stick to it. This will help keep your budget in check and prevent unnecessary purchases.

By following these steps, you can keep your food costs down while still eating healthy and delicious meals. The key is planning ahead, shopping smart, and keeping a well-stocked pantry!

[gremlinmodetweeker]

Eldritch!König's Ever-Watchful Eyes

I'm writing this as I'm about to get an IUD inserted, so please pray for me here. Last time the pain was so bad I had to go to the hospital. Either way, I'm channeling my fear of pain into my fear of Summoned!König, so that's what's keeping me stable. Most likely half way through I'll be in an Uber home (or if I'm feeling extra, the bus).

Edit: I took the bus.

Story below the cut.

Tw for disturbing imagery, mental torture, insects

Under His Watch

König watched your scurrying out of the corner of one ice cold eye. He found it amusing, how you seemed so desperate to please a party that saw no worth in so much as the air that passed through your lungs. Really, Summoner, you're just another cog in a machine. You could relax a bit, if you'd like. You didn't need to spend hours assembling finger sandwiches and preparing jugs of cucumber water. If you wanted to have high tea, he could have a full table set for you in a snap of his fingers, but you always refused his help. It was starting to irritate him, actually.

"Watch the skins," he drawled as he watched the winds blow through fields of canola flowers, "Srgt. Blackstone is picky about his apples."

You didn't bother asking how he knew this, instead taking out a peeler without a word.

König raised one bushy eyebrow at your diligent obedience. You were such a good pet, weren't you? You hung on every command he gave you, but he knew this blind obedience would soon be your downfall. You needed some semblance of a spine if you wanted to climb from your current rank. Or rather, he'd need to plant one in you, whether you liked it or not.

"Don't add so much cress," König closed his weathered eyes, "it will throw off the balance."

"Will it?" you questioned, but put the sandwich aside regardless.

"It will," König confirmed.

He watched you hurry back and forth, a mindless ant playing house for a faux queen. He could squash you all with the twinge of a thumb.

In truth, König considered the entire display mindlessly absurd. You were laughably pathetic in your attempts to charm your superiors. You could spit on their boots and they'd clamber for so much as an acknowledgement from you. Didn't you realise how much power you held over them? You had him, didn't you?

You seemed so desperate to please these vermin above you. You had the most powerful summon in the entire continent, maybe even hemisphere, and yet you seemed desperate to try and gain the respect of ticks that were determined to burrow into your side. If only you knew how much power you commanded.

König snorted when you scrambled towards the knock on the door. You squeaked as you broke a glass statue in your hurry. Once you'd turned the corner, König twirled a finger and the statue was set to rights on the table.

You didn't mention the statue when you led your commanders back to the kitchen, instead focussing on keeping your eyes down to avoid angering the old ones. When they turned to look at König, they quickly averted their gaze. At the very least, they knew their place before him. They'd just need to learn that you were just as much a force as he was.

However, he could sense how fearful his mate seemed. You were so nervous, and his presence o ly seemed to amplify your anxieties. He mercifully faded into the shadows, and like all humans, out of sight out of mind. It saddened him how your shoulders relaxed when he had left your sight.

The great old ones sat at the table you set for them. You served each of them as the mindless drone you were, but they paid no attention to your desperate attempts to pacify the forces above you. Instead, they focussed on the avatar in their midst.

You sat at one end of the table, opposite from the space you'd so thoughtfully given to your commander. Now that your summon was out of sight, they focussed on honing their strength and focussing on your pitiful presence.

"You made great efforts to prepare yourself for us," the Admiral mused as his own summon sniffed the sandwich you'd prepared. Once the summon nodded, he took a tentative bite.

"You used no help from your summon to prepare for us," a commander observed.

"I didn't want to offend," you admitted weakly.

This got the attention of the old ones. You didn't want to offend them? König could smack you for being so oblivious.

"Well you have done well," the Admiral observed before narrowing his equiline eyes, "so far."

"I hope I will only continue to please," you mindlessly agreed, a fateful amen to the powers that reigned above you.

König could hear the whisperings in your commander's minds. It sickened him. If it were up to him, he'd have you pressed over this table beneath him, claiming you to prove who you were truly loyal to. The fact that they dared to picture you between their legs made him want to castrate each and every one of them. He'd teach them later, once their heads hit their pillows. Until then, he'd watch over you silently.

"A summoner as powerful as you could advance quickly,' the admiral's eyes glinted, "we certainly think you have potential, based on the results here."

"Really?" you blinked owlishly.

"There is no doubt in your abilities," the Admiral took another sandwich, cream cheese and lox, "as long as you can prove your dedication, you could easily be sitting among the people you see here within a year."

A year? The thought was so alien to you that it took you an entire minute to process it. You, an old master, in just a year? It was unheard of.

"But that's impossible..." you heard the words come forth, but your face was numb.

"Not so, summoner," the admiral's teeth gleaned in the afternoon glow, "I think we could find good use for you. How would you like to join us?"

König saw you nod your head, a good little pup. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"All we need are a few favours," the old master spun his web, "nothing egregious, just some things to ensure your abilities."

You perched on the edge of your seat, an alert retriever waiting for your masters command.

"We only ask one simple request," the Admiral leaned forward, "and that would be your summon."

"My summon?" you frowned. They wanted you to hand over König? Your heart clenched, and everything within you screamed in protest.

"Your first attempt to summon brought you an avatar of chaos," a general pitched in, "with more training and guidance, imagine what you could summon next?'

"You could have an army of angels at your fingertips," another added.

You could always get another summon, but give up König? Something churned within you.

"I'd have to think-"

"No."

The sunlight was snuffed out around you, leaving you in complete darkness. Tendrils crawled around your throat, loving chains binding you close.

"I am not some pet to be passed," a voice echoed by each old one present, "not a single one of you, not with your armies of summons or all the arcane knowledge in every library of earth can bind me to your command."

The Admiral screamed as a cloud of gnats bloomed from his throat.

"You are all toddlers playing with matchbooks."

A general was bound to his chair with thick, slimy tentacles as centipedes crawled from his ears and into his mouth, stifling his pleads for mercy.

"This summoner is my mate."

The other general went slack-jawed as images of maddening carnage flashed through his eyes.

"Now bow to me."

All ten old masters immediately dropped to their stomachs. Their hands were stretched up above them, small antenna reaching up to a higher power that held nothing but disdain for them. It was a wretched sight, too horrid for your little brain to comprehend.

As soon as it came, the sunlight slowly filtered in with carefree abundance. The fields grew brighter than before, the clouds outside particularly billowy in their columnus mirth.

The remnants of lunch had turned to rotten mulch on rusted trays. Insects crawled through the piles with gleeful delight. As the old masters slowly climbed up the table legs to their feet, they shook and shivered like mice in cats of oil.

The admiral's eyes met yours, then a pair of eyes behind you."

"You may leave."

They were gone in an instant.

AU Masterlist

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Inquiring readers (me) are asking about your mayonnaise recipe

1 whole egg

1 tablespoon acid (I use vinegar, you can use lemon juice if you prefer)

1 teaspoon mustard (whatever kind you have in the fridge, I use whole grain. Mustard powder or even that gooey condiment that USians call "mustard" works fine.)

pinch of salt

1 cup cooking oil (the most flavourless kind you have, vegetable oil or canola oil or something. Nothing fancy like olive oil, the taste is too strong).

Put everything in a jug or a jar or something EXCEPT the oil. Get your immersion blender. Start blending, and add a little bit of oil at a time -- do not just dump it all in or it might not emulsify properly. Trickle in a tablespoon or two at a time and blend it in before adding more.

About half to two thirds of the way through, the mayonnaise will start to thicken. You can stop there or blend in the rest of the oil, depending on how much mayo you want. If you pour in all the oil and the mayonnaise doesn't thicken, it means you added the oil too fast.

If you cover the jug with cling film it'll keep in the fridge for several days. The most perishable ingredient is Egg.

[pikahlua]

Fourteen Days of MHA: Day 2

UA Academy, Education

In honor of UA/education day, I'mma learn you all some practical skills, à la the summer training camp arc.

How to make Japanese-style curry from scratch!

Yes, from scratch. Plus ultra. No pre-made curry roux box necessary for those of you who may not have access to such products where you live or who want to make modifications for food intolerance (this can be made gluten free! in fact that's usually how I make it). I will include two recipes: one for curry roux, and one for curry the complete dish. This is going to be my personal recipe for making curry, curry roux included, with some notes on other twists you can add to this dish.

Recipes below the cut. Let's get cooking!

Recipe: Curry roux

You need blocks of curry roux to make Japanese-style curry. If you'd like to go the easy route, buy a box of S&B curry blocks (the most widespread brand I believe) or from any other brand. But if you'd like to make this from scratch, here's how you do it.

Required Ingredients:

Note: This recipe makes about 3.5 oz of curry blocks or the equivalent of one small container of store-bought pre-made curry blocks. You would dissolve it in 2.5-3 cups of liquid to make curry. I double this recipe to make larger batches.

3 tbsp butter (or a neutral oil like canola)

3 tbsp flour (all-purpose gluten free flour works just as well)

3 tbsp curry powder (I use S&B curry powder)

1 tbsp tomato paste

Salt

Seasoning (see below)

Pika's Special Seasoning:

Garlic powder or garlic salt

Chinese chicken bouillon powder (or just MSG) (Lee Kum Kee has a gluten free option)

Ground mustard

Celery salt

Sugar

Black and/or white pepper

Chili pepper (I use shichimi togarashi), optional for spicy

These are the ingredients I typically use to flavor my roux. You may ask how much, and well, sorry, my measurements here are in my heart. I throw in dashes based on aroma and experience. I also like my curry strong and spicy.

Any ingredient can be omitted as all each does is add a new layer of flavor. No ingredients depend on any others (though sugar with tomato paste seems like a given to me). You CAN omit the tomato paste if you're sensitive to tomatoes.

Other Optional Seasoning:

Cayenne, optional for spicy

Ground ginger (fresh ginger would probably work too)

Onion powder (especially if you don't have MSG or chicken bouillon powder)

Garam masala (around 1 tbsp adds a sweeter flavor and a cinnamon-cardamom aroma)

Honey (I personally put honey in the curry after it's made, not at this stage)

These are ingredients others use that you may consider adding for different depths of flavor. I do not typically use them in this recipe, but I have been known to experiment with them on occasion. I've listed them in the order of how likely I am to throw them in on a whim.

Instructions:

Make one batch of roux for a small, mild curry. Make two batches of roux (i.e. double the ingredients) for a stronger and/or larger batch of curry.

Heat a skillet on the stove over medium-low heat. Optionally toast dry spices if desired, though not necessary, then remove spices and set aside. Melt butter (or heat oil, if using) in pan.

Add flour and combine. I personally use a nonstick pan-safe whisk to make sure it combines well, but a wooden spoon or silicone paddle would work too.

Reduce heat to low (medium-low if you're ready to watch that thing like a hawk). Cook 5-15 minutes stirring constantly to keep the roux from sticking to the pan and burning. You're looking for the roux mixture to turn light brown like peanut butter. It will develop a nutty aroma as it cooks.

Add curry powder, tomato paste, salt, and all desired seasoning ingredients. Stir to combine. The mixture should become dry and pasty.

Cook for 30 seconds to 1 minute or until all ingredients are well-combined and then turn off burner.

If using roux soon, set aside. If not using roux soon, put all the roux in a container lined with parchment paper. Score the paste with a knife to make it easy to break and remove. In an air-tight container, the roux will keep in the fridge for up to 1 month* or in the freezer for up to 4 months. *Caveat: If you use chicken bouillon powder or any ingredient that includes meat, I do not know if it will store in the fridge for longer than a few days. In this case, I would suggest freezing the roux to be safe.

Recipe: Japanese-style curry

Ingredients:

Note: My portions are determined by what fits in my pot.

2 tbsp neutral oil (canola)

1-2 lb protein (you can use any protein i.e. beef, pork, chicken, seafood, tofu, tonkatsu, etc., but I usually just stick with mushrooms for ease; if I do meat, I usually pick ground beef or cubed beef chuck)

1 batch of curry roux for mild curry (or 4 blocks packaged curry roux), 2 batches for strong (see above recipe) (or 8 blocks of packaged curry roux)

1 sweet onion (can substitute with yellow or white onion), sliced into half moons

1-2 carrots, peeled and sliced rangiri style

5-6 Yukon gold potatoes, cut into large chunks

8 oz button mushrooms (16 oz if mushrooms are the primary protein), cut into bite-sized chunks

2-3 stalks of celery, cut into bite-sized chunks

4-6 cloves or equivalent of minced garlic

1 quart chicken stock (dashi or vegetable stock or other stock or even water can also be used)

Meiji milk chocolate, 4-5 pieces (you can use any chocolate you like)

1-2 tbsp honey (add to taste)

1 grated apple, optional (I don't usually do this but it's a thing some people like to do)

Cheddar cheese, shredded

Cooked starch of choice i.e. rice or noodles

Pickled ginger, optional garnish

Fukujinzuke pickles, optional garnish

Instructions:

If your protein is raw and requires cooking or browning, prepare it first. Heat oil in a pot over medium heat and sear all the sides brown or cook ground meat until browned. For seared meat, do not worry about cooking it completely; it will finish cooking in the curry. Remove protein from pot. You can leave the drippings in the pot if you'd like to add their flavor to the curry. Ground meat might produce an excess amount of fat though, which you may want to clean out first.

Heat more oil in the pot and add the vegetables. Cook on medium heat for 5 or so minutes or until the vegetables start to develop color and the onions turn translucent.

Add back the protein and any accumulated juices to the pot.

Add chicken stock (or broth/liquid of choice) and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a simmer and cover. Simmer until ingredients are tender and potatoes can be pierced with a fork, approximately 15 minutes.

Remove lid and reduce heat to low.

Add curry roux (or packaged curry blocks), chocolate pieces, honey, and grated apple if using. (If you'd like, you can break the blocks and chocolate up or shave them into small pieces with a knife.) Stir constantly, making sure to scrape the bottom of the pan often, until curry and chocolate are completely melted and incorporated in the liquid.

Simmer 5 minutes while stirring constantly. Cook longer if you want it to thicken more.

Serve over rice or noodles. Top with shredded cheddar cheese (in my opinion there is no such thing as too much cheese). Optionally garnish with pickled ginger and/or fukujinzuke pickles.

Store leftover curry in the fridge for 3 days. The curry and liquid may separate, but they'll combine again when you heat it up and mix it together. I'm not sure about freezing leftovers as it usually doesn't last long enough for me to get to that stage, but it's worth a try.

Now eat up, you damn nerds!