#G&G also reminded me a bit of guardian of the witch

[miminmimikyu]

RIP Ginka & Glüna, can't say I was very surprised that it ended so quickly, but the last few chapters were good! All in all I think it had a very hit or miss run: the first 2 chapters had a lot of potential but it lost me through the middle. For me, it started hitting its stride in the final arc, but by then it was pretty clear the writing was on the wall already.

I liked the weird otherworldliness of the first chapters and I think if it had doubled down on that and the eldritch horrors of magic in their world it could have been something really special. Especially with characters like Ginka and Glüna as protagonists: with Ginka always being hinted at as a dangerous dark magician (who's potentally done a lot of bad stuff) and Glüna bein so single-mindedly and stupidly optimistic while also being weirdly callous and non-empathetic I was so sure that Glüna would end up doing something REALLY fucked up in a sincere attempt to help people. (I do wonder if that was something that was supposed to happen eventually or if I was reading too much into Glüna's weird characterization)

I'm glad at the end we got some chapters from Ginka's point of view, even if we only scratched the surface of what Ginka was like at the height of his powers.

[shintorikhazumi]

English!AU (2): Has To Be.

A/N: Yey. I don’t know smack about what I’m writing. So warning. Badly written. Rip. Might suck. 

Hannah solo chap. Next chap two idiots and their chaperones are coming along.

Enjoy?

~ShintoriKhazumi

She wanted to cross her arms and show just how irritated she was by all of this.

But she couldn’t.

The tea was getting cold from her ignoring it, hands folded on her lap, unwilling to take up the cup and allow it to serve its purpose of providing her refreshment.

Like anything could refresh her for what was about to go down.

“After all that effort to create as much distance as possible... and here you are.” Hannah hated that condescending chuckle. “Sorry and without freedom. Simply under father's mercy."

She grit her teeth, fingers twitching. She needed to keep it all in. Control. Control. She could do it. She had long since been trained on ways to hold her composure, not that she'd ever found the need to use this skill back in Luna Nova.

Ah, Luna Nova. How she missed it. She had the freedom of expression, she could voice out her every opinion. Well, yes, she could be a little bitchy at times. She was working on that bit. ‘Sorry Akko.’

Here, however, she could not allow herself to lash out. She had to be composed, elegant, dignified. Bottled up and choking on all the expectations she had been trying to escape.

And yet, here she was. Back in their clutches.

“What a sad, sad girl.”

The voice was incredibly irritating. Hannah would love to shove a sock in it.

"Pathetic really."

'Shut it.'

“I bet you’re planning something. Conniving as you always were.”

Hannah released a sigh, shutting her eyes to avoid looking at the sore sight of her current companion.

"I'm not here because I want to fight you... Jared."

'I'd rather murder you right now without needing to. Annoying little prick.'

"Right. No fighting. And yet you came back." Jared sneered. "That in itself is already a declaration of war, my dear, dear sister.

“Listen.” Hannah growled, finally looking him in those similar-colored eyes that reminded her that she really shared the same blood as this terror of a family. “I’m not here because I want to be.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Well that’s because-”

“The Prince of Wales, Harold Windsor, enters.”

Hannah whipped her head about, eyes wide, unable to mask her emotions this time around. And it seemed like her the new arrival was unable to as well.

"Why... Are you here." It was a question that didn’t really sound like one. It felt more like a statement whose true meaning actually translated to, ‘I don’t want you here.’.

Hannah agreed with that sentiment. 'Does it look like I want to be?' She sighed internally, preparing her mind for the onslaught of either words or actions about to befall her.

Calmly, she responded. "Grandfather called for me."

"What?!" Harold marched forward, brows furrowed deeply, gaze burning hot. “He did not! I heard nothing of the sort!”

Hannah barely flinched. She needed to keep up her facade, afraid as she was. She could not show weakness nor fear. No. Not in front of this man.

Not in front of the man she once called Father.

“I suppose he did not feel the obligation to inform you, sire.” She replied, voice level.

“And why would he not? I am rightfully the next in line! I must know these things!”

‘Do you now?’

“How should I know? If you don’t know, your majesty, what makes you think a lowly servant such as I would?”

A flash of indignance crossed the man’s face as his hand quickly raised, ready to come down on Hannah, swift and solid.

She cursed her body, frozen with a familiar fear, cultivated since long ago. It was coming.

It was coming.

Her eyes were the only ones to react, shut tight just as she was about to receive the hit.

The strike never came.

Opening her eyes, Hannah was surprised to see Jared. His arm stretched out in front of her, as if to shield her from that man.

In front of them both was her bodyguard who had caught Harold’s hand in a tight grip.

“How dare you interrupt me-”

“I am simply carrying out the work assigned to me. To protect the first princess, Hannah Windsor, until the end of the selection.” The bespectacled man stated firmly, releasing Harold’s hand.

Turning to his charge, he directed her to the door, remaining close to the current heir apparent should he plan something else.

“It’s time for your audience with His Majesty, the King, Miss Hannah.” He said, far more gently than his cold voice from earlier.

“...y-yes. Yes, thank you. Sir Mark. I... I shall go.”

She left the room quickly, unable to bear the atmosphere any longer. Once out the door, she had found herself accompanied by two guardians, leading her to the room she knew was her grandfather’s.

She could only hope things would not get worse.

//

“Why am I here.”

“Why must everyone ask the same boring questions.” The old man replied, stroking his chin. “Isn’t the answer obvious?”

“Your Majesty-”

“Hannah.”

“G-Grandfather.” She heard a pleased hum. “I thought we had an agreement.”

“Well, I thought so too.”

“What is that supposed to mean?!” Hannah slammed her fist into the bedpost, feeling her held back fury escaping. “I told you I wanted to be a witch!”

“And I’ve told you that witches are not to be part of the royal family.” He replied calmly.

“Exactly! So why?!” Hannah interrogated, clearly exasperated at these events. “You told me I could not be. But if I truly wanted you to let me go, I would manage Cielton for three years, raise their industry economic value, earn it publicity and recognition on the map, and I did all of that!” Her voice raised higher.

She should be frightened, screaming at the monarch of their country; but when it was just the two of them, no guards, no other people around, there was only Hannah and her grandfather. Two members of a family.

“We had a deal.” She said, voice breaking.

“I’m sorry.”

“I wanted no part in this.” She angrily wiped the tears away on her sleeve, huffing away her crying. “Didn’t you already announce that I’ve stepped down from the selection years ago?”

“...”

“Grandfather!”

The man remained silent. This only fueled Hannah’s pain and feelings of betrayal. Her grandfather was the only family she had left that she believed she could actually trust, yet he wasn’t even listening!

“The moment the time limit you gave was up, I would leave for my life as a witch. I would turn my back to the family. Just like you and father told me to. That was the deal. You would take care of the announcements, the excuses. All of it. You said so because if it was found out that I was leaving to be a witch, the backlash would be too strong.”

Hannah sighed, sitting on one of the lounge chairs, burying her face in her hands.

“You didn’t hold up your end of the bargain!”

“Neither did you.”

“What!?”

“I know of you commuting to Luna Nova during those three years. You didn’t enter two years ago. You’ve been there for five.” He revealed. “I also know the Young Cavendish head is your friend.”

Hannah suddenly stood up, realizing she’d been found out. “Grandfather, I-”

“Thus, you didn’t hold up your end completely either. You went behind my back.”

“That was!”

“And so, our deal is invalid. I did not announce your backing off from succession either. So consider things fair.”

All her statements died in her mouth as Hannah slumped back into the chair.

“...Why does it have to be me?”

“Why not?”

“I’m serious.”

“I am too.” The old King chuckled mirthlessly. “Hannah, dear. You were thirteen. And your father was sneaking out in town creating one too many scandals for me to keep up with.”

“I have two older brothers.”

“And none of them did as well as you did. One doesn’t want the throne-”

“I don’t either!”

“-for good reasons.”

“...”

“I do not trust Devon with this land, Hannah. The way he looks at the crown, drinking in the sight of its power as though it were intoxicating wine... He will destroy this country, Hannah.”

“Jared-”

“Is incompetent. We both know this.”

Hannah couldn’t reply to that.

Time ticked by in uncomfortable silence. Only emotional breaths, and the rustles of sheets were heard.

Hannah felt the stinging of restrained tears at the back of her throat. Her eyes burned, her head throbbed. Her nails dug deep into her palms as she considered all of this.

It wasn’t fair. It truly wasn’t.

“...does it have to be me?”

“There’s no one else.” The King said sadly. “It has to be.”

[carewyncromwell]

Fluff Alphabet: Carewyn/Orion

@weasley-adoptee tagged me, and uh...yeah, while I’ve done this before, I did it before I’d settled on an endgame ship for my girl Carewyn! Now that I have, I can do this for the HMS Carion (AKA Carewyn Cromwell/Orion Amari)! XDD

Tagging @smarti-at-smogwarts, @department-shoe-stud, @cursebreakerfarrier​, @that-ravenpuff-witch​, @words-and-wands​ and anyone else if you’re interested and either haven’t done this already or want to do it for a ship they haven’t done it for! xoxo

A= Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Carewyn thinks Orion is the wisest person she’s ever met. She’s always admired how content he is with his life, even while he chases victory on the Quidditch field. He got dealt a pretty bad hand in life, but he’s always been able to make do with little and reach for the stars without being unhappy on the ground. She also absolutely loves how much he loves his friends and later his daughter, Eos. Orion’s a lover, not a fighter, and Carewyn finds it very attractive. Plus his smile, when he actually ends up smiling fully, makes her heart melt every time!

Orion loves how generous and selfless Carewyn is. Her putting her own safety on the line to help him achieve his dream of Slytherin winning the Quidditch Cup remains one of her most beautiful moments in his eyes, even after so many years. Although her passion can get a little much for him sometimes as well, he nonetheless finds her absolutely stunning when she’s fighting on behalf of somebody else -- the fire in her eyes, to him, are akin to the eyes of a wild stallion, and it makes his heart race.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not)

When Orion and Carewyn reconnect post-War, they actually both have kids already, Orion being the single father of an infant daughter, Eos, and Carewyn being the legal guardian of twelve-year-old Erik Apollo. Carewyn has no interest in bearing any children herself, so both she and Orion are very content raising their own kid as well as helping support their partner’s.

C= Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Orion and Carewyn are both on the “A” side of the LGBT+ community (Orion being gray-A and Carewyn being ace/pan), and Orion himself wasn’t raised with a lot of physical affection, so their cuddling is a bit muted, compared to a lot of other couples. They’ll very often sit side-by-side with their shoulders touching and/or holding each other’s hands, and sometimes Carewyn will rest her legs across Orion’s lap or Orion will rest his head on top of Carewyn’s, but they don’t usually tend to get way up in each other’s personal space for very long. When one of them decides to spend the night at the other’s place, they’ll take turns as the big spoon, with Carewyn sometimes resting her head on and arms around Orion’s chest and Orion other times resting his head over Carewyn’s heart with his arms around her waist.

D= Dates (What are dates with them)

Broomstick flying dates! Carewyn’s out of practice, considering how much of a workaholic she is, but she loves having the chance to fly alongside and with Orion again. Carewyn will also attend Quidditch matches with Orion when he’s not playing, and they enjoy cooking, baking, Wizard Dueling, and taking their kids on outings together.

E= Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

Orion to Carewyn: “You are my Abraxan.”

Carewyn to Orion: “You are my partner.”

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Orion first had the feeling he could fall in love with Carewyn (in other words, he realized that he felt romantic feelings for her) when he saw her Abraxan Winged Horse Patronus (same as his) for the first time at the tail end of his seventh year and her sixth year. He was too afraid to chase those budding feelings at the time, only to realize how strongly he still felt for Carewyn and how much deeper his feelings had gotten when -- after they reconnected -- she immediately resolved to deal with all of the paperwork needed to give Orion sole custody of his daughter Eos. The blazing look in her blue eyes when she stubbornly insisted that she would do whatever she had to in order to make sure that Eos stayed with “the man who had put his life on the line to keep her in his life and safe” was so beautiful that Orion for a moment forgot to breathe, and he felt like such a fool for not chasing her from the very start.

Carewyn realized she was in love with Orion as she spent time with him post-War and saw both how much he’d changed and also how much he’d stayed the same. She saw how he’d only gotten wiser about himself and how he wanted to live his life, as well as how well he got through the more recent struggles he went through and how well fatherhood suited him. Seeing him again reminded Carewyn how much she’d always admired him, and also gave her all the more reason to admire him. It all came to a head one day, when after she’d sung Eos to sleep and brought the usually serene Orion to tears, Carewyn and Orion ended up sitting on her couch for the next half-hour or so together, with Orion holding the sleeping baby over his heart with his eyes closed, softly asking Carewyn if she could sing “just one more song” while they sat together. Seeing his handsome, peaceful face as he sat with her and his daughter was the thing that made Carewyn suddenly realize how precious Orion had become to her, and maybe had been, a lot longer than she realized.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Oho, Carewyn is the ultimate Mama Bear type and Orion is a pacifist to the nth degree, so these two are ridiculously gentle. If Carewyn’s ever having trouble reaching something high up or lifting something heavy, Orion will frequently whisper a quick “would you like some help?” and if Carewyn says yes, he’ll either very gently pick her up or place his hands/arms on top of hers to help her with the object. Carewyn is prone to giving Orion chaste kisses of gratitude and helping him fix his collars or clothes before they head out.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

LOL, when Carewyn first initiated hand-holding between them when they were still at school, Orion was faintly uncomfortable because he’d never really held hands with much of anyone before, but it quickly became something he really enjoys doing with Carewyn. Most commonly one of them will rest a hand on each other’s while it’s resting between them on the couch or in their lap, and then the other person will hold the first’s hand in return. When they’re out and about, Orion loves holding hands with Carewyn at their sides, though Carewyn will sometimes also hold Orion’s arm with one or in both of her hands, at which point Orion often kind of lean into Carewyn. Most commonly Carewyn is the one to initiate most physical intimacy, since Orion’s still rather unaccustomed to it given his background, but it makes it so that when he does initiate, it’s usually very spontaneous and romantic, since it’s often done in the heat of passion.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

Carewyn about Orion: ‘So that’s the Slytherin Quidditch Captain? ...How is he balancing on his broom like that??’

Orion about Carewyn: ‘Short and round, a Snidget’s build -- ginger ponytail, like the Weasley boy’s -- tight grip on her broom, slightly tense...a Seeker, perhaps? ...No. No, those are a Chaser’s eyes.’

J= Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Actually, no! Neither of them really feel jealousy much of ever. They’re both rather secure in themselves and in their relationship to not get jealous. In Orion’s case, he’s way too chill to really get aggressive or surly because Carewyn’s spending time with other people, and in Carewyn’s case, she knows Orion and herself well enough to not be that distrustful.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Like with most gestures of physical intimacy, Carewyn initiated the first kiss, right after she learned she and Orion had the same Patronus and Orion finally came clean to her about how long and deeply he’d felt romantic feelings for her and she’d likewise expressed how she felt. Carewyn’s first kiss to Orion’s lips was very chaste -- so chaste, in fact, that almost as soon as she’d pulled away, Orion brought both of his hands up to her face so he could cradle it and hold it in place so he could kiss her himself more deeply. There’s often a build-up for their kisses, starting very short and then either growing deeper, or just turning into a stream of traded chaste kisses back and forth. Carewyn tends to prefer shorter kisses because she likes being able to see Orion’s expressions and deep kisses kind of require having your eyes closed, so over time, both Carewyn and Orion become very fond of kissing each other’s faces, foreheads, noses, neck, hands, and shoulders when they’re intimate so that Carewyn can more properly enjoy Orion’s facial reactions and Orion can be a bit more creative in how he expresses his affection.

L= Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

Orion. Though, rather predictably, he said it in a very round-about way:

“...I have...nurtured this bud in my heart...longer than I have ever admitted to anyone -- including myself. But when we collided again, during the War, that bud only served to grow further...and then bloom into a blossom so strong and beautiful that I could never hope to hide it...however ashamed I am that I denied it the sunshine and attention it deserved years ago. I’ve wasted...so much time, trying to stifle it...trying to be happy with what was in front of me, rather than chase what my soul was clearly aching for...all because of my own inner doubts...because of the reluctance I felt, in the face of making a choice between the dream I’d been fighting for for so long...and the chance of a new dream I’d never imagined. I realize I have been a coward, Carewyn Cromwell -- something you have never been, from the moment we first met. I don’t know if someone like that could be your soulmate -- if I could ever live up to the standard that word entails...but most assuredly, you are a special woman, one I will never know the likes of again...and I love you, all the same.”

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

One will always be the morning they spent together in the Commentator’s Box talking after Slytherin won the Quidditch Cup. Another is when Carewyn accompanied Orion to drop Eos off at Platform Nine and Three Quarters for the first time -- Carewyn took Orion out for an outing to the shore afterwards to cheer him up, and they spent the day swimming in the ocean, playing volleyball, and walking around the seaside town together.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Both grew up without a lot of money, so neither are the type to buy extravagant presents, but Orion does like to “surprise” Carewyn now and again, if he sees something he thinks she might like. Most commonly this involves single flowers or small bouquets, which he’ll leave in a spot he knows she alone will find them, such as on her office chair at work or on the windowsill next to her bed at home. Carewyn in return tends to spoil Orion with surprise visits (popping over to watch one of his Quidditch matches without telling him she’s coming and then running to greet him afterward -- the first time she did this, Orion was so stunned and happy that he barreled over to her and, once she hugged him and he’d recovered from that surprise, clung onto her for almost a full thirty minutes afterwards), as well as handwritten love letters. She’ll sometimes send them through Owl Post as usual, but other times she will leave them in his locker or on his pillow for him to find too.

O=  Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Carewyn always thinks of Orion whenever she sees anything black and white, as those are his Quidditch team, the Montrose Magpies’ colors.

Orion always thinks of Carewyn whenever he sees anything light blue, like her eyes -- he particularly likes forget-me-nots, since they remind him of them.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?

Although Orion frequently cites how Carewyn “has more fire than a Fire Crab,” he most commonly compares her to an Abraxan Winged Horse, with his pet name for her being “his Abraxan.” Carewyn dips into the usual “dear” and “love,” but when she’s particularly affectionate, she calls Orion “starlight,” as a reference to the constellation bearing his name.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Carewyn loves records! Their audio quality is so much better than CDs.

As dumb and predictable as it sounds, Orion does enjoy lava lamps. He likes colored lighting as opposed to stark white light, as he finds it more calming (even if Carewyn points out that it often makes it harder to see!!), so you’ll find a lot of colored lightbulbs and such around the tiny cottage he shares with Eos.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Orion enjoys games of all kinds, not just Quidditch, so he and Carewyn will sometimes bust out a game of cards, checkers, or Scrabble when it’s raining, especially if Eos and/or Erik are also around. Carewyn’s favorite games are Hearts and Mancala, while Orion’s favorites are Blackjack and Jenga. Wizard’s Chess is one of Erik’s favorite games, so sometimes Orion will play with him while Eos and Carewyn watch, too.

S = Sad (How do they cheer each other up?)

When Carewyn’s down, Orion likes to encourage her to talk about it, but usually does so by starting off talking about something else entirely, so as to help her relax first. He will also sometimes want to show physical affection, like trying to hold her hand or wrapping an arm around her, which he always does so tentatively out of the worry of Carewyn not being comfortable with it that even if Carewyn’s not in the mood, she’ll nearly always try to adjust and initiate some physical affection in return to show some gratitude for the attempt (i.e. sliding her hand out of his, but kissing Orion gently on the cheek afterward).

When Orion’s down, Carewyn goes into full-on Mama Bear mode, coddling him to the nth degree and being his attentive listening ear.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Anything and everything! Orion is a philosopher to the max and Carewyn is intellectual enough to enjoy deep conversations, so they can go way far afield when they’re talking about stuff. Sometimes Carewyn needs to refocus the conversation because Orion gets too vague and dreamy and sometimes Orion has to “lighten up” the conversation when Carewyn gets too serious, but one of the things they love most about each other is how easy it is to talk to each other. You could hear them talking about their respective kids Eos and Erik and their careers just as often as the meaning of life or the current status of a piece of legislation regulating dragon breeding.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Orion meditates constantly. He’s occasionally been able to get Carewyn to join him, but more often she prefers putting on some calming music and getting some work done at the kitchen table while he does so, claiming that the music helps her relax. (It does. To a limited extent.) Whenever she does this, Orion -- upon finishing his meditation -- will fetch her hairbrush from her room with a smile and then come up behind her and start gently brushing her hair for her, which does actually get Carewyn’s shoulders to loosen up slightly. They also will often drink tea together, which is very calming.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

LMAO, if Orion manages to catch sight of Carewyn in the audience during a Quidditch match, he ALWAYS has to break out the old “Inspired Broom Surfing” technique for her. He can’t resist showing off on his broom around “his Abraxan.”

Carewyn’s much more prone to “show off” her partner’s accomplishments by telling others about them when they’re out and about together, as well as any pretty new outfits she’s wearing.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?

Carewyn and Orion would never get married, instead becoming legal partners with their own separate homes and lives that nonetheless exist in perfect harmony. Orion describes their relationship as them being two flowers that have bloomed on the same branch -- separate entities that nonetheless are connected and are fueled by the same sun and nourished by the same water. Carewyn felt strongly about them having some sort of lasting legal statement for the sake of both each other and their kids, so that if anything happened to either of them, their partner would have the right to be with them in St. Mungo’s, make decisions in their stead, and take custody of their respective child in an emergency. The two had a very small ceremony at a courthouse in London, only attended by their respective kids, before attending a larger gathering later with all of their friends and Carewyn’s mother and brother.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

These two have a whole playlist! ^.^

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Answered above, but no. Orion has his own cottage in Montrose, Scotland, home of his Quidditch team, while Carewyn has her own flat in London, England, close to her job at the Ministry of Magic, so merging their two households would’ve been a real challenge. On top of that, Carewyn was never in much of a rush to get married and Orion never saw much point in the ritual to begin with.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

There are actually a lot of hinkypunks in the woods around Orion’s cottage in Montrose, which Orion and Eos actually leave little treats out for and treat like pets, even if they’re generally known for luring people to their doom with their lamps. Eos tends to call every hinkypunk she comes across “Punk” by default, but there are a few she’s learned to recognize by overall attitude and given individual names like “Impy,” “Mello,” and “Wisp.” There’s also a large tribe of selkies that often pop up near the shore a short trek away from the Amari home too, and although Eos and Orion can’t communicate with them, Orion enjoys taking Carewyn down to the beach and encouraging her to sing so that the selkies will come up out of the water to listen better.

[sanniee]

Kmovies to know me better

Hot Young Bloods

The movie that can't ever be rated because, for me, it became the portrait of youth. South Korean rom-com? Am I allowed to say that? The action takes place in the 80s and it is about these wild highschoolers and their rivalry. Reminds me of the old days when I used to throw fists at anyone who looked at me the wrong way... They did a great job with the cast, I can't believe it's from 2014. Lee Jong Suk hasn't changed a bit... This film has been with me for a long time, I watched it for the first time 3 years ago and I still go back to it from time to time.

A Tale of Two Sisters 10/10

watched "A tale of two sisters'' not long ago... five times, I watched it a second and a third time because there was a lot to comprehend and a fourth and fifth time because I loved it so much. Psychological, drama, murder, thriller, and horror are my favorite genres. This movie ticks four of those and I think it is a cinematographical masterpiece. What is happening in the story might seem hard to grasp at first, but after you start to understand it, you become addicted. I will write a proper review and maybe answer the questions I kept asking myself, but I don't want to spoil it here. I can't even give a proper synopsis...

Along with the Gods 9/10

Both movies, ‘’The Two Worlds’’ and ‘’The last 49 days’’  are a solid work of fantasy. I found myself so fascinated by the story and by how well the movie was made. Is there life after death? If there was, I wish it would be like this. These movies are about three guardians who are working towards their reincarnation. Only the best of us will be born again. They need to bring 49 souls that lead proper lives and defend them in the 7 trials of the Afterlife: betrayal, violence, filial piety, murder, indolence, deceit, and injustice, that take place in 49 days.

I think that alone should hook you up, but this fictitious world is so amazingly beautiful and also dangerous. Humans are vulnerable when they are alive, but also when they are dead. The way the Gods judge is just like the way others judge us and condemn us even before knowing the reasoning.

Midnight runners 8/10

"Midnight runners" is one of the movies that I watched because I felt obliged and the unexpected happened, I enjoyed it a lot. It is about two students at the police academy who didn't even want to be there, yet have more compassion and courage than most police officers. They treated such a serious theme in such an easygoing manner. I've always hated the Police. I think they barely do their jobs, most of them are stuck in the office and people are killed, kidnaped and assaulted every day.

I'm glad that justice won in the end and that those who did the right thing weren't punished. This film cracked me up so bad, you should see it if you want some quality comedy and some great chemistry between the characters. (or if you want PLOT, if u know what I mean, this is a movie with Park Seo Joon and Kang HaNeul sooo)

I also wanted to add this because it is G O L D E N.

The Handmaiden 9.2/10

This was my last pick. I don't know if it was the right choice or not, but The Handmaiden is a beautiful movie. A movie about feminism, about status and money. But at its core, it is the love story of two women attempting to break the patriarchal chains that were imposed upon them.

This film understands the value of tiny little details. It is incredibly well shot and is a joy for the eyes. I have a lot of love for The Handmaiden, but I don't know what more to say. I might start and never finish.

Amazing movies that I want to talk about another time:

Parasite 

Train to Busan

The witch part1. The Subversion 

Miracle in Cell no.7

Tune in for Love

VIP

Thank you if you read up until here!! If this one post and my the one with Kdramas hit 100, I’m going to post one of these with japanese movies and an update of what im watching during quarantine. Thank you so much!! All the love!!

[cruelangelstheses]

with quiet courage

fandom: coraline rating: G characters: coraline, wybie words: 2.1k additional tags: canon compliant, post-canon, fluff, angst, mental health issues, character study description: years later, wybie gives coraline a gift. a/n: hi, this was written for the @ethereal-zine! i just thought it would be interesting to explore the long-term effects that the whole ordeal with the other world could have on coraline’s mental health. title from “with quiet courage” by larry daehn

read it on ao3

—

Something feels...wrong.

She can’t explain it, can’t even fully comprehend it herself, but the house feels different tonight, like it’s just waiting for the right moment to pounce. Every creak sends chills down her spine. This isn’t right.

Coraline glances out the kitchen window at their garden, but finds that she can’t really see it, despite the fact that the moon is close to full, last time she checked. She raises her gaze to the sky, squinting in confusion, and her heart nearly stops at what she sees: a shadow passing over the moon in the shape of a button, holes and all.

Gasping, Coraline pushes herself away from the window, every inch of her suddenly on high alert. That’s when she hears it: a familiar metallic skittering across the floor, a sound she knows all too well.

She bolts out of the kitchen and up the stairs, leaping into her bedroom and slamming the door shut behind her. Her blood rushes in her ears.

It only gives her a few moments’ reprieve before she hears the skittering again, even closer and louder than before. Coraline backs away from the door, frantically searching her room for anything she could use as a weapon. She digs underneath her pillow for the pocketknife she bought in secret a year or two ago, but inexplicably, it’s nowhere to be found. Her heart nearly stops when she sees the hand crawl in from underneath.

The hand is severed at first, but from its wrist seems to grow an arm, a torso, another arm, all made out of needles. Coraline steels herself as the Beldam materializes before her eyes.

“You are my daughter,” she hisses, as something else appears in one of her hands. “You’re going to stay with me forever.”

In one hand, she holds another needle, already threaded. In the other is a gift box, and inside it sits a pair of black buttons.

“Hold still,” the Beldam continues. Coraline tries to move, to fight, to do anything, but her whole body is suddenly frozen. “This will only hurt a bit.” She takes a step forward, needle pointing at Coraline’s face, and then—

Coraline jolts awake and sits up rapidly, trying to catch her breath. The morning light streams through her bedroom window, a reminder of where she is: not the Other World, but the real one. Reaching under her pillow, she feels for her pocketknife. She is seventeen now, but still the events of her childhood plague her dreams.

She still has her stuffed animals. Most of the time, they sit on her shelf, watching over her like guardian angels, ensuring that danger doesn’t even make it through the doorway. Sometimes, though, on nights where the house creaks more than usual, on nights where Coraline swears she can feel a sinister gaze burning into her back, she grabs a few of them and sleeps with them in her bed, holding them tight against her chest, as if they will cast a bubble around her body that protects her from any harm. Sometimes she doesn’t even sleep, just lies awake in terror for hours on end. She’s far too old to sleep in her parents’ bed, but some nights, she tiptoes over to their bedroom and cracks the door open, just enough so she can see that they’re still there, safe and sound.

Coraline loves her parents, but they don’t completely understand everything. It’s not their fault; they have no memory of being kidnapped by the Beldam, and they weren’t witness to anything else that happened that fateful year. She tried to explain bits and pieces when she was younger, but they dismissed it as a child’s wild imagination or particularly vivid dreams, and she’s not sure she can really blame them. After all, it hardly sounds believable.

She’s made some other friends at her new school, and they’re wonderful, but none of them get it, either. They don’t understand why she cringes every time they point out the tiny door that leads to nowhere when they come over to her house. They don’t understand why buttons and dolls disturb her to this day, or why when she looks at a snow globe, it always takes her a moment to register that there is nothing frightening inside of it. “Something happened to me when I was a kid,” she told them once, to allay their concerns. “It was really scary. I could’ve died. So if I ever do something...weird, that’s probably why.” None of them questioned her, then, when she bought that pocketknife. If nothing else, she’s grateful for that.

Wybie and his grandmother are the only ones she can actually talk to about what happened, and she’s not going to come to them every single time she has a paranoid thought (which is, unfortunately, fairly often). Usually she can calm herself down, anyway; she just has to take deep breaths and remind herself that the key is gone, at the bottom of a bottomless well, and the Beldam can never open that godforsaken portal ever again.

It takes lying there for another ten minutes, eyes closed and focusing on nothing but the sound of her own breathing, for Coraline to finally muster up the energy to pull herself out of bed. At least it’s a Friday, she tells herself. She has to work a bit this weekend, but her job involves more stocking shelves than interacting with other people, so it’s still better than school.

It’s not that she hates school. She likes learning when it’s interesting, and she likes seeing her friends. It’s not even that she dislikes other people, because she doesn’t, really. Even people she thought were weird or annoying at first, like Wybie, have grown on her with time. It’s just that she fears she’ll have a flashback or a panic attack in the middle of class and embarrass herself. It’s happened before—in middle school she was branded a freak when a sewing project in her home economics class brought her to tears for reasons she didn’t know how to explain. Strangely enough, she feels safer in her neighborhood. It’s an environment she knows well, and as odd as her neighbors are, she trusts them to protect her, even if they might not be aware of it. She remembers Mr. Bobinsky’s warning not to go through the little door, and she remembers the adder stone given to her by Misses Spink and Forcible—and, of course, she remembers Wybie, who once called her crazy before he saw the Beldam’s severed hand for himself, before he helped her dispose of the key for good. Technically, he’s the one who found the Coraline doll that spied on her in the first place—a fact that she hates him for on her worst days—but she knows that he had no idea, and it doesn’t do any good to blame him. After all, even if he may have inadvertently introduced Coraline to the Other Mother, he also helped to defeat her.

While Coraline is choosing her outfit for the day, her phone buzzes: a text from Wybie. Hey Jonesy, it reads, meet me outside then. I got something for ya.

Coraline raises an eyebrow. That could mean anything. Still, she sends him a quick Ok and slips her clothes on. If it happens to be a slug or something, at least she can say her day got off to an interesting start.

Being writers, her parents don’t have to wake up as early as she does, so Coraline usually fixes her own breakfast—often something quick, like a muffin—and heads out the door. Today is no exception, her meal a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice. It sort of makes her feel like a kid again, in a good way. Sitting alone at the kitchen table, Cheerios in her spoon, the sun rising over the foggy mountains, a feeling of quiet peace and even innocence settles over her like dust on a bookshelf. In this moment, there is no fear, no nightmares, no flashbacks. In this moment, she is not a teenager doing her best to survive even while her mind begs to differ. She is the little girl she once was, before she was forced to be brave in the face of true horror. The sky glows pink and orange, a phenomenon unknown to the Other World. She’s grown to appreciate daylight more since then.

Finally, Coraline vaults her backpack over her shoulder and pushes the front door open, saying a silent goodbye to her parents in her head. Sure enough, at the bottom of the hill, leaning up against the Pink Palace sign, is Wybie, who looks like he’s playing a game on his phone. When he hears the sound of her footsteps, he looks up and waves to her.

“You’re back,” she says once she’s close enough to him to talk without having to shout. For the past two weeks, Wybie has been on a school trip to Germany. (Coraline couldn’t go because she’s taking Spanish instead of German.) It’s pretty stupid for them to get back on a Friday and then have to go to regular school for one day, in her opinion, but that’s just how it worked out. “You said you have something for me?” She can’t help but wonder if it’s a souvenir of some sort. She’d joked about him getting her one, but she didn’t actually expect him to do it.

“Yeah,” Wybie says. As they start to walk down the path that leads to town and their school, he pulls something small out of his jeans pocket, holding it in both hands so she can’t see what it is. His voice sounds strangely solemn. “So, you know how you said Miss Spink and Miss Forcible gave you that stone that one time? The one with the hole in the middle?”

Coraline remembers it well: the adder stone that helped her find the ghost children’s eyes all those years ago. When she read up about them later on, she found that rocks with naturally occurring holes in them, called adder stones or hag stones, are said to have magical properties. One of them is the ability to see through a witch or fairy’s disguises or traps, but others include the prevention of nightmares and curing whooping cough.

Coraline certainly doesn’t have whooping cough, but she does have nightmares, and she’s already seen the power of an adder stone for herself. “Yeah,” she says slowly. “They’re pretty rare. The Other Mother destroyed the one I had.”

Wybie flashes her a little half-smile and opens his palms, revealing a round, grayish stone with a medium-sized hole in it. “We visited the north coast one day,” he says as she takes it from him, “and I just happened to stumble across it. Apparently that’s one of the places where they’re more common, in northern Germany.” He shrugs. “I saw it, and I knew I had to give it to you. Not like you’ll need to find any more ghost children’s eyes, but…”

Coraline holds the stone up to her eye, feeling an odd comfort when she looks through the hole, even though nothing seems different. Feeling a soft smile spread across her face, she slips the stone into her pocket and says, “Thank you, Wybie.” Then, to lighten the mood, she adds, “I guess taking German was a good decision after all.”

Wybie blows a raspberry at her. “Hey, who got to go to a foreign country? Not you.”

They banter back and forth like that for a while, but part of Coraline is still focused on the stone in her pocket and the thoughtfulness behind it. It’s so small, but both the stone and the gesture give her the burst of courage she needs to get through the rest of the day, the week, the month. It’s a different kind of courage from what she had to muster up to stop the Beldam. It’s subtler, quieter. It’s the courage of a girl who has seen real ugliness, who has felt the deepest and most primal sort of fear, who went through hell and came out alive but unsure where to go from there. How do you keep on going when you’ve been face to face with death?

The answer, she realizes, is simple: it takes courage. It might be the kind that only a few people can see, but it’s courage all the same.

[homespork-review]

Homespork Act 3: Insane Mindscrew Haymakers (Part 1)

BRIGHT: Before Act 3 proper starts, we see a message from Nanna to John, written in the front of the Sassacre’s joke book from Dad’s safe. The message is somewhat bizarre. For one thing, according to Nanna, the book it’s written in will end its journey on the day she dies...and still carry on for a while. For another, it talks about game elements we’ve encountered already, and hints at more to come. Overall it’s a nice bit of detail, enough to whet the reader’s interest.

You are no doubt reading this as a handsome and strapping young man! Why, the mangrit needed to lift the book is itself a sign of your maturity, not even to speak of the wisdom needed to grasp the nuance of Sassacre's time-tested mischief. I am so proud of you, grandson! How I wish I could have delivered this heirloom to you in the flesh. But I am afraid it wasn't in the cards! For you see, John, like you, this book must yet take a journey! Its journey will end on the Final Day of my life, and even then will continue some. Though I suppose that will be up to your Father. Perhaps he will discuss it with you one day, when he and you are ready. But it is your journey I am writing about to wish you luck! There will come a day when you will be thrust into another world. And once you arrive, that is only the beginning! You will soon delve even deeper into a realm of Warring Royalty in a Timeless Expanse. A realm of Agents and Exiles and Consorts and Kernelsprites. Of toiling Underlings and slumbering Denizens. A realm where four will gather, the Heir of Breath and Seer of Light, the Knight of Time and Witch of Space, and together they will Ascend. John, if only you knew how important you were! I regret my passing came so early in your life. And yet I feel in my heart we have already met. But what I know for sure is that we will meet again! Until then, John, I do hope your Father keeps you well fed!

FAILURE ARTIST: As I said earlier, Hussie has artfully defaced books, including one antique one about an expedition around the world. Defaced books show up again in this comic.

CHEL: Particularly, it implies that Nanna also had knowledge of the game during her lifetime, somehow, and refers to the gathering of four heroes. This is our first introduction to the classpect system, which now rivals Hogwarts houses as a method of personality description in fandom at large. I think at the time I didn’t realise who it was referring to… Anyway.

Next, we officially meet GG, the fourth and final member of our gang, a “silly girl” with a cheery grin, sleeping in a greenhouse full of vegetables and spirograph-shaped flowers. Since she’s sleeping and can’t object, she’s referred to for a while as FARMSTINK BUTTLASS, but she’s way ahead of us; under her hand is a note admonishing the reader and declaring her actual name to be Jade Harley. I think she’s the cutest of the kids, myself - just seeing her first appearance makes me happy! All its weaknesses aside, Homestuck’s pretty great at creating painfully cute character designs and attaching a good range of personalities to them.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade Harley was considered a “Mary Sue” when she was first introduced. I don’t know why. Yeah, she has a lot of eccentricities and unusual possessions but so do the other characters.

Farmstink is a reference to an old comic Hussie did about this dude obsessed with the stink of farms. Hussie’s early work is really weird.

CHEL: The reader attempts to wake Jade by dropping a pumpkin carved with an animal’s face on her head, but the pumpkin disappears; as we know, WV now has it. Fortunately for the pacing, Jade wakes up on her own. Look closely, and you’ll notice the symbol on her shirt changes each page; that turns out a bit later to be due to her hi-tech WARDROBIFIER. If I recall correctly, Hussie intended to settle on one chosen by reader vote, but ended up on a cycle of three different ones.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade settles on three icons to appear on her shirt. However, eventually just one icon stays on her shirt. The WARDROBIFIER doesn’t get much use with her, though a later character has the same thing.

CHEL: Jade is also wearing COLORFUL REMINDERS on her fingers, and when the view pans out it’s revealed by the view from the window that her GARDEN ATRIUM is on a high floor. She plays the flute badly for a while in a Flash game; apparently it’s not her preferred instrument. Also fortunately for the pacing, we think, she knows how to use her sylladex, and prefers to set its retrieval function in the form of a memory game because you seem to have a knack for always guessing right on the first try! On checking her reminders, she remembers to wish John happy birthday, gathers some fruit, and heads upstairs by means of a teleporter.

Jade’s bedroom proves to be full of various disturbing-looking plushies, albeit not nearly as disturbing as the Smuppets, hanging baskets and potted plants, a bass guitar, and G-rated furry artwork, including a piece obviously drawn by Dave. Franchises depicted in her toy and poster collections include GREEN SLIME GHOST (the apparent copyright-friendly source of John’s T-shirt and pogo ride), MANTHRO CHAPS (mustachioed human faces on plush animal bodies), and SQUIDDLES (adorable octopi with magnets in their bellies which stick together as Tangle Buddies!). Her favoured weapons are rifles, though she would never shoot an animal, and she has various gadgets on a worktable, including a thing that looks like a disconnected window not unlike those shown in Rose’s book, which she apparently hasn’t been able to get to work.

FAILURE ARTIST: Manthro Chaps is a reference to Hussie’s particularly disturbing set of comics where he plays around with anthropomorphization. Like having an anthro chicken man lay anthro eggs.

CHEL: The comic in question, Humanimals, can be found here; warnings for extreme body horror and general grossness.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade is told by a forum prompter to Lose interest in fauna and never speak of it again. Jade refuses to in a beautiful little speech but she denies she’s a furry. Oh, if she only knew what was coming for her.

Jade looks out the window and we find out she lives somewhere next to a volcano.

CHEL: The very same one which appeared in the animation at the end of the last act, in fact.

Your grandfather is a WORLD RENOWNED EXPLORER-NATURALIST-TREASURE HUNTER-ARCHEOLOGIST-SCIENTIST-ADVENTURER-BIG GAME HUNTER-BILLIONAIRE EXTRAORDINAIRE. He has taught you everything you know.

Grandpa is heavily coded here and in his appearance a bit later as a Great White Hunter, an upper-class European guy who goes to faraway countries in order to shoot the animals there. Of course, non-white people can certainly do that, but white is what people will immediately picture upon seeing the trope. Also note we have another ridiculously wealthy family here. Since all four of the kids have now been introduced and we’ve had a lot of WSP points from their races and financial statuses already, here we get another HOW NOT TO point as well.

The Country Club Here every single character is white and middle-to-upper class. Unless your novel is taking place in rural Sweden, this will eventually give the reader the eerie feeling that some form of ethnic cleansing has taken place. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 14 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 7

One could argue that some form of ethnic cleansing is taking place, since these are the kids who are surviving the apocalypse, though that’s not actually fair because there are plenty of other SBurb sessions all across the world which might also succeed.

Jade opens her GADGET CHEST and produces several more items pertaining to her interests, including her computer, which she keeps in a Squiddles lunchbox. Several fortune-telling items are included among them, but according to Jade they are not the source of her abilities. The Magic 8-Ball is apparently usually wrong, responding to being asked whether it’s John’s birthday today with NOT EXACTLY, and the Magic Cue Ball is supposedly always right but is impossible to read, making it completely useless.

FAILURE ARTIST: There’s another Problem Sleuth reference (or rather Problem Sooth) but what’s important is the Magic Cue Ball. Unlike her Magic 8-Ball, it has no window where one can read the prediction. If only Jade had a special vision. Perhaps an eightfold vision.

Jade goes to feed BEC. She has some sylladex trouble until she finally just takes a steak out of her fridge.

CHEL: Once again, the sylladex shenanigans waste several pages.

GET ON WITH IT!: 9

Bec’s identity is as yet unknown, but recall that Dave called him a “devilbeast” in an earlier conversation, and when he suggested shooting Bec Jade said she didn’t think she could if she tried. He also apparently eats nothing but steaks (lucky Grandpa’s a billionaire), so Jade is living on an island with apparently minimal supervision from her guardian and an allegedly dangerous carnivore running wild outside. Like Dave, at this point it seems to be very lucky she’s a cartoon character.

FAILURE ARTIST: Using a special oven she irradiates the steak. Umm, I think Bec can take that but I worry about Jade.

Jade finds and plays her elaborate bass and she’s much better at it than with the flute. During the flash, the camera pulls out and we find out where she lives: in a tower on a small volcanic island with a frog temple in the lagoon. An airplane goes by and drops a package.

Jade uses her super high-tech “lunchtop” to have a conversation with John. Nothing special about that but we see on her chumroll a bunch of unfamiliar handles. Hmm.

CHEL: The unfamiliar handles are listed in the “Trollslum”, which one presumes is a blocklist. I think you have to see just how hi-tech the lunchtop is:

"Jade: Get down to business." (Watch on YouTube)

Hussie’s really coming into his own with the animations by now.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dave has sent her some messages begging her to wake up and unfortunately one line has the f-slur in it.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 7

In the end, he decides she’ll probably forget what he says.

CHEL: Begging her to wake up” doesn’t exactly cover it.

TG: youre asleep again arent you TG: or do you even know if you are TG: i still dont know how that works TG: its like nothing means anything

Apparently Jade sometimes talks to him while she’s sleeping.

FAILURE ARTIST: There’s a little flash where you can listen to some of Dave’s tunes. When you’re done with that, you can join her in looking at mspadventures.com. A crude John wearing a wizard hat is sitting on his lawn with the caption

It begins to dawn on you that everything you just did may have been a colossal waste of time.

What the hell is going on here? Is Jade reading what John is doing right now?

CHEL: I think it’s just a fourth wall joke, but it’s certainly accurate, considering our GET ON WITH IT count.

FAILURE ARTIST: Next, we get this flash called Midnight Crew: Act 1031. If you are watching it in 2019, the song playing is Dead Shuffle by Mark Hadley. However, the song was originally Nightlife by Bill Bolin. Unfortunately, Bolin had a dispute with Hussie over Hussie using music that Bolin considered WIP. Bolin blew up and called Hussie “unprofessional” and in a very professional move posted a photo of himself giving the double deuce. It’s a shame this happened since Nightlife is a jauntier and more appropriate tune.

CHEL: The Midnight Crew, to be specific, are gangsters with card-themed names who bear a striking resemblance to WV, living in a mysterious purple city full of towers, pitted against the Felt, another gang of odd-looking green fellows who wear bowler hats with numbers on them, in the colour schemes of a set of pool balls.

Hussie did make reference in the previous page to a “weird tangential intermission [which] clearly advanced the plot in no way whatsoever”, implying that it actually is relevant, and the purple city and its shiny black beady-eyed inhabitants look very familiar, but since as far as we know at this point the Midnight Crew is just a comic-within-a-comic, you know which counts get added to.

GET ON WITH IT!: 10 WHAT IS HAPPENING??: 2

Just for the record, the leader of the gang is named Spades Slick, and yes, we’re aware that “spade” is a slur against black people, which makes it slightly unfortunate to be applied as a name to a black-shelled alien creature. However, we’re not counting that as PROBLEMATYKKS because Hussie and the Crew’s original writer certainly did not intend that. It’s not that commonly used a term from what I’ve seen, the playing cards would be the more likely immediate association, and with the other characters being Clubs Deuce, Hearts Boxcars, and Diamonds Droog, it’s just an unfortunate coincidence. If he was a black human, then I’d object more strenuously.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade talks with Dave (I think the conversation is a repeat?)

CHEL: Yep.

GET ON WITH IT!: 11

FAILURE ARTIST: Finally, we get the flash we’ve been waiting for: Dave strifes with his mysterious guardian. Or rather, he strifes with Lil Cal while Bro is a speed blur.

BRIGHT: Unlike the other strifes up to this point, the reader can’t do anything other than watch, because Bro slices the command box in half right at the start.

TIER: In the world of Homestuck, the parental units are overall just really weird! Like dad Egbert severe overabundance of cakes and mom Lalonde's drunken dysfunction. It's overall all hilarious, fitting with the tone and humor of the story well!

But then we have our lovely outlier. The one, the hated, The. Bro “a huge bastard honestly” Strider! A.K.A basically the one guardian whose questionable parenting gets the Real Consequences treatment later on in this tale. Peculiar that.

CHEL: Now, under most circumstances, an adult man beating the hell out of a barely-teenage kid, on the precarious rooftop of a high-rise building no less, would be horrifying. However, Bro chooses to hit Dave with his puppet, which… is frankly hard to take seriously. Obviously it would still hurt if a real person did that, but it looks so stupid that the immediate assumption is that it’s a joke.

BRIGHT: Particularly when earlier strife moves like Rose’s ‘Empty Suicide Threat’ were intended to be humorous. This is about on the same level as that, in terms of severity!

TIER: Being smacked around by the flopping noodle limbs of a freaky puppet is honestly hard to take seriously. Hell, this entire sequence is chock full of outlandish “Rule of Cool” bullshit and I am Peeved that I was apparently supposed to look at this sequence of ridiculous events and go “OBVIOUSLY THIS IS FUCKED UP AND ABUSIVE”.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 7

CHEL: I could kinda see that with hindsight from the rest of the comic, but definitely not “OBVIOUSLY THIS IS A LOT MORE FUCKED UP AND ABUSIVE THAN THE OTHER AWFUL FAMILY CIRCUMSTANCES”, which is what was apparently intended. And we also get another HOW NOT TO point, which we’ll give now even though the official “reveal” comes much later.

A Novel Called It - wherein an abusive parent exists Bad parents are everywhere in unpublished fiction. Whole cities of abusive fathers and sneering mothers live in the pages of books that can’t be sold. While occasionally, and notably in the horror genre, this sort of material can be made good (Carrie, V. C. Andrews), most cruel parents in fiction are just as much fun as they are in real life. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 14

That damn puppet gets creepier every time, admittedly, more so now that Bro is moving so fast that the thing appears to be dancing on Dave’s head under its own power. Dave’s expressions look more annoyed than afraid or hurt, however, in my opinion.

FAILURE ARTIST: Anyway, we go back to Jade. Rose is pestering her.

TT: I require a font of frighteningly accurate yet infuriatingly nonspecific information. TT: Do you know where I can find a wellspring of this sort?

Very business-like, isn’t it? Rose and Jade’s relationship is a big missed opportunity in this comic. They’re more like friends-of-friends than friends.

CHEL: I don’t know, that sounds to me like how Rose talks to the boys too; facetiously formal. Still, they don’t converse nearly as much as the boys do with each other or them. Male writers in particular tend to do this, and it’s not entirely their faults. People are socialised to think women talk a lot more than they do, so he probably didn’t notice.

TIER: A real shame honestly, we were fucking robbed of some peak interactions between a sunshine flower child and a “dark and brooding” baby goth. Fucking. Robbed.

FAILURE ARTIST: We find out that Jade was the one who had the idea of playing Sburb. She had told Rose that the game would answer some of Rose’s unnamed questions. Rose wants more information on this Big Day. Jade says the game will not be what Rose thinks it is and will answer questions Rose hasn’t thought of yet. On that mysterious note, Jade says goodbye.

CHEL: We check in briefly with Rose in the present, confirming that she’s found the secret passage and is escaping the fire, bringing the corpse of her cat along with her, then to John, who is doing much worse. The ogres (the giant tusked imps) have cornered him, and while he flails frantically about with his Pogo Hammer it doesn’t do much good. They beat the snot out of him with the old Sassacre book and the tire swing, then send him flying into the abyss; fortunately, Nannasprite is able to catch him on his bed and provide healing, allowing him to flail uselessly at the ogres again and get beaten up again, ad infinitum.

Back in the desert, a giant worm-like creature emerges from PM’s bunker and chows down on the cart full of mailboxes. PM is displeased, and puts a hand on the hilt of an ornate black sword.

Cut back to the FAQ, which John has found time to edit with information about the punch card system. He doesn’t know if anyone is left alive to play the game, but Rose asked him to add to it, so he will. He’s figured out with his 133t h4x0r 5k1llz that the captcha code on the back of the cards is converted into a binary-based pattern on the cards, 0 being blank and 1 being a punched hole. Overlapping the cards functions like a bitwise AND operation, causing both to be enacted. The 48-hole card system allows for 300 trillion combinations, but John lampshades the fact that this couldn’t possibly cover every conceivable captchable item, and that various combinations of overlapping cards would just produce the same combination. This is just adding to my conviction that the system ought to be reworked; the totems alone would probably allow for a much wider range, if one gets down to the atomic level of their shape. Then again, those would be a lot harder to merge… Still, I’m sure there’s some way to work it.

BRIGHT: This section was kind of surprising to me because up to this point we haven’t had much if any description of John being into coding, so the section came out of left field somewhat. Not bad, necessarily, just jarring.

CHEL: Actually, he did mention in his intro that he likes to program, albeit not very well, he had some coding books on his shelves, and the icons on his computer are named in a way which implies they’re some of his attempts at coding. However, this interest never really comes up again later that I remember.

Meanwhile, the secret passage Rose followed led to her mother’s laboratory, which bears the logo “SN” with a stylised atom and a spirograph pattern in the loops of the S. It seems Mom Lalonde knows more than she’s letting on about the game. Inside the laboratory is an enormous HUBGRID of devices into which the laptop can be plugged.

FAILURE ARTIST: Rose uses that ol’ r-slur when she says she won’t go on the pad so that’s another point.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 8

CHEL: Jade uses the TRANSPORTALIZER to travel most of the way down to the ground floor, but not all the way down because the one on that floor is blocked. As she walks down the last couple of flights of stairs, we see Grandpa’s own collections of stuff; taxidermised animal heads, suits of armour, mummified corpses (made by pasting in photographs to the cartoon background, it’s creepy as hell), and his BLUE BEAUTIES, or the DAUGHTERS OF ECLECTICA; sun-bleached portrait photographs of beautiful women. On the final floor, we are confronted with the thing blocking the final portal; a gigantic preserved monster with a white head and green serpentine body. It took me till just now to figure it out but I think the white part is supposed to be a human torso on the snake tail; at first it just looked like a snake wearing a stocking mask. That’s what happens when the humans don’t have arms.

Jade thought she had logged off from Pesterchum, but suddenly it pings again, and here we are introduced to an entirely new section of the cast. We’re probably not spoiling anything by not being mysterious about them at this point in the fandom’s history, but just in case, we’ll stick to doing the reveals when the comic does. The person talking to Jade is one of the names from her TROLLSLUM, under the handle carcinoGeneticist; they gloat about being “BETTER AND SMARTER THAN YOU, FOREVER” when asked how they’re still contacting Jade after being blocked, and mock her about today being “FINALLY THE DAY YOU FUCK EVERYTHING UP”. Angry, Jade blocks them again.

FAILURE ARTIST: I had forgotten that “they” appeared so early.

CHEL: Well, “appear” is stretching it; the TROLLSLUM only make contact through Pesterchum for a while yet. And when they show up, we’ll have both plenty of skilfully-written points to pick out and plenty of counts to apply.

[littlemessyjessi]

Travel Magic: Magic for a Safe Journey!

Hello, smoochies! Welcome to my witchy weirdness! Now, disclaimer here:  I do not claim to know everything or anything.  I don’t claim that my way is the right way or the wrong.  This is just my way that works for me and I thought I’d share it with you.  Feel free to tweak it to your own needs but lord, here we go. If you’d like to read more of the Witchy Weirdness series, you can find the masterlist HERE  :)

Hello, loves!

This #witchytiptuesday will actually be a #traveltuesday!

Today's post will be all about Travel Magic!

Travel magic, you say?

What in the holy hell is that?

Well, I'll tell you.

Basically it's magic for your mode of transportation be that car, truck, train or plane.  

Whatever, lol.

So, before we get into everything....some history?  

I'm a history nerd and I'm nosy and I like to know things so I thought I'd share them with you!

Some things I've collected over the years.

Some things other have told me and some things I literally straight up learned on the damn Discovery channel, lol.

Anyway, blessing your modes of transportation is sooooo not a new thing.

Like at all, lol.

All different cultures all over the world have their own things.

Native Americans used (and some still do) draw sigils on their horses both to identify them and also for protection.

Note:  My mother is black, Puerto Rican and Native American.   Granny (my great grandmother) was Native American.  She was Cherokee. Pap (great grandfather) was Puerto Rican.   They had my grandmother who was mixed of the two.  She married Pawpaw who was black.  There you have my mother.   Who married my white Scotch-Irish father and then there's me.  

Anyway! Good lord, I got off on a tangent there.  Geez.

As a child, the Granny who taught me a lot in the way of the natural path was Native American and I was taken to a lot of tribe activities over the years.  I'll try to share more of those things as we go along.  

The point of this is that with our particular group, we did this.   I grew up always surrounded by animals and especially on Granny and Pap's farm where there was ALWAYS horses.    When I brushed down my first little pony, I was taught to annoint her and give her a protection mark to keep her safe.  

So just a little tidbit there.

Moving on!

I recently learned on the Discovery channel, lol, that the Inuits used to wash their sleds with snow to bless them for safe travels.

This next little tidbit I literally learned yesterday when my ex bf / current bff's dad who is 1/2 Native American and 1/2 Romanian came over for breakfast and dropped this on me.   I was like WHAAAAAAA?!?!? Fabulous!

The Nomadic Romani of Europe sometimes commonly referred to as Gypsies (or Rom sometimes) used to decorate their wagons/caravans and hang talismans of protection and to ward off evil.

That old dude schools me on the daily though.  Love you, Papa G!

Anyway, lol.

Some other things I've come to learn is that Ancient Greeks used to paint or carve eyes into their boats to help them 'see' ahead for their voyages.

Siberian tribes made beautiful woven rugs with silver or gold ornaments to put beneath their saddles which helped keep them safe from harm.

Both physical and spiritual.

Now, I'm not Siberian but as someone who grew up with horses and lived the rodeo life as a southern girl....this was real damn familiar.

I remember having particular saddle blankets to match my saddle and everything and it was a huge deal to me.

I would NOT compete without them...and neither would my horse.

So I found that really interesting.

Sailors and straight up pirates use to have mermaids, sirens and sea nymphs at the front of their boats to guide and protect them!

My father, that Scotch Irish dude that he is, recently informed me that according to him (And I don't know how true this is but I thought I'd share, lol)  that some Celts and people of Norse decent still annoint their vehicles with beer or mead.

That's just fascinating, lol.

So my point is....don't be shy!  

This had been done my many cultures long before we were even born.

Some mythology associated with travel include:

- Apollo's chariot - Rhiannon and her horses -Neptune (or Poseidon sometimes) and the dolphins -Mercury/Hermes and the winged heels -Odin and the eight legged steed -The Archangel Raphael is associated with movement

Mythical quests are often a topic of conversation!

Just a few include:  Hercules, Isis, King Arthur and so many more!

There are so many animals associated with travels and/or a journey.

- horse -donkeys -birds -fish -llamas -camels -elephants -sea mammals -dogs/wolves -eagle -deer -unicorn -pegasus

You can also use a broom as symbolize.  While witches don't fly on a broom, we do use them and you can totally use this for Travel Magic!!!!

Colors Associated with Travel!:

Yellow: sunshine, air, light, positivity, travel Red:  Defense White: Purity, cleansing Blue: Can be used for a plane safety travel but also for traveling at sea

Of course it's all personal to you but those are just a few suggestions.

Now, why would I need all this Travel Magic anyway?  What scenarios would I even use this for?

Well perhaps, you have someone who you love that is learning how to drive.

Or maybe you're grandmother loves to go out on Wednesday nights for church or Aunt Margie loves to stay out on Friday's for a late game of Bingo.

Maybe you have someone who travels for a living.  

My dad's family is full of truck drivers, motorcycle enthusiasts and motorcross junkies.  

We also love to be on the water because yeah, we're that way.

So travel magic is a must for me, lol.

Or maybe you're like me and you commute to work every day.     I have 30 - 40 minutes to and from every day....so yeah.  I'm gonna lay down all the good vibes that I can.  

What are you supposed to do for Travel Magic?  

Well, it's really up to you but here are a few options.

-Protection satchets (Can easily be a bundle of herbs you keep in you glove box) -Talismans (Literally, it can just be a charm that hangs on your rear view mirror) - Decorative blanket (Ya'll seat covers or mats.  Or just a blanket you keep in the car) -Decals (Ya'll can customize this with symbols of protection or sigils) -You can also annoint you car with oils if you want - Wash your cash with a cleansing wash -Oil headlights with a eye so they can 'see' -Acknowledge the elements, directions and any totems out there.   Make note of it.   -Smudge the car (CAREFULLY!!!!!) - Burn a teensy weensy bit of sage or cinnamon in the ash tray -Put a Guardian Angel or goddess figure in your car to watch over you.  Dash hula girl?  That'll work.  Bless her and give her a name.   I feel strongly connected with Pele so I may actually do this very soon.

Now, personally I love a good protection satchet and mine goes right in the glove box.  

On particularly sunny days with good weather I take it out before I get out of the car for the day and leave it on the dash to charge by solar energy.

On full moon, you can bet your ass I do the same and let her charge up by lunar vibes all night.  

Ya'll already know, lol.

Some herbs associated with journeys and protections are:

Pine, sage, maple, milkweed, cinnamon, acorns, pine cones, dandelion, ivy, birch

Now, for my satchet, I have hardly any of those colors listed above, lol.

Like, I said it's all up to you.  

My satchet is full of cinnamon, sage, acorn, dandelion, sweet grass and pepper seeds.

It's also wrapped in a golden cloth, then wrapped twice in a black cloth with silver spiderwebs and tied with a black and red piece of yarn.

Gold: Sunshine, light, positivity, travel, solar energy, masculine, success, attention.

Black: Protection, warding off negative energy, focus, survival

Silver:  Lunar energy, feminine (I always try to do both lunar and solar, masculine and feminine.  It's about balance here, lol.)  Finding lost things (well, obviously), Intuition (to watch out for others not just myself), Communications and luck.

Red: Defense, confidence, energy (no falling asleep at the wheel hopefully lol), luck and good fortune

I also used spiderwebs because of the web because of the many different paths and also for the spider.

I personally connect strongly with the spider for Travel Magic because of it's eight legs.

Four legs for the four directions and four legs for the four elements with the spider in the middle representing myself and the spirit.

I also have a talisman hanging from my rearview mirror that is turquoise and a coppery gold color or a leaf/feather (I relate it to both)  and an owl.

I strongly connect travel with birds which resonates true with me since it corresponds with the element of Air.

Driving at night is also a slight issue for me so I have both my large feather talisman and also my small owl....a creature of the night who glides gracefully through the dark skies.  

It also reminds of Athena and that brings me some peace, lol.

Some stones related to travel might include.

Turquoise, cooper, arrowhead, flint, peridot, jasper, iron

As I mentioned, birds are big for me and I chose a feather charm but you  could totally pick whatever resonates with you.

However, if you take nothing else from this please take this.

Whenever a vehicle comes to you...please cleanse and bless it.

Whether it's new or second hand....just get all that second hand funk out of it.

You never know what bad juju was up in that ish, lol.

Bonus note:  Birds are huge for me and specifically eagles.  So naturally when I do my magically infused cleaning of the car....I have tons of Eagles tunes blasting while I do this, lol.   Yeah, I'm that person.  

So I hope that this helped some of you out and maybe you'll try them!

If you do I'd love to know and if you have any tips please leave them in the comments!  I love hearing about them!

Also, if you have any other topics you'd like to see discussed for Witchy Weirdness please tell me!  I'd love to hear from you!

Safe travels, successful quests and a most jovial journey to you all!

)0( Kennysaurus )0(

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[isroselalondebisexual]

What about ASPECT trollswaps? So Rose Serket, John Nitram, Dave Megido, and Jade Maryam *Jade Maryam the Jade blood wow*

Heehee! Jade Jade sounds fun ^_^

Rose Serket, raised with moderate wealth and a piece of shit spider lusus. I think Rose would start out killing other trolls for her, but hate it, and would resent being forced into doing someone else’s dirty work. I think it would… probably eventually result in Rose killing her lusus, to be entirely honest. She can kill people on her own just fine, she doesn’t need Spidermom to protect her, she doesn’t want Spidermom around telling her what to do and forcing her to kill people who she doesn’t know and who very very likely don’t deserve to die just to feed some lazy spider who’s too awful to go get her own food. Definitely a traumatized girl, as it goes. Angry, resentful of the world and life in general, puts out a “cool n deadly” persona that is also “i’m smarter than you, I’m tougher than you, I’m cold and aloof and untouchable, don’t fuck with me” when in reality it’s mostly just constructed out of her trying to find a sense of control in the world, and not wanting to have to deal with people being mean to her. She’s moirails with Jade, who tries her hardest to gentle Rose down and remind her that she’s just a kid, that life’s not fair and that cruelty should never be the norm. Rose starts out resenting her, resenting her “help” that Rose is certain Jade is giving with disdain, but Jade is no quitter and Rose wants to be loved, wants that assurance that she’s valuable and there is kindness in this life for her, and the two of them end up with an incredibly strong moirallegiance in which they help and love each other, despite a hard and rocky start. They tell stories of how it was difficult, but worth it. She’s still the Seer of Light, so her role is still to foresee the most fortuitous outcome, which she throws herself into full-throttle, converting her anger and resentment with the world to the relentless pursuit of the Light, of making things go RIGHT for once, seizing the control that her role allows and delighting in the way that she can now affect her reality, things are no longer being done to her, but she’s got the power to change the timeline with her sight and her actions and her words. Probably wants to solve all the puzzles and treasure maps on her own, and grows frustrated when she can’t just magically foresee the solution. The solution is “ask your friends for help you dumbass” and so she must begrudgingly ring up John or Jade or Dave to come help her with this goddamned treasure map, pirates are stupid anyways, who came up with the theme for this planet it’s dumb why are there compasses in the sky that doesn’t even make sense grumble grumble. A pissy, ready-to-stab-things-with-needles kind of girl, a bit of a know it all and a bit of a showoff, untrusting of other people’s intentions but ultimately brought around by the love of her sweet moirail and eventual-alien-soulmate-Kanaya. So, pretty close to canon Rose, just angrier and with a different origin story.

John Nitram, a soft, relatively poor boy with a lusus who thinks the world of him and encourages him to do his best, but be careful around danger. John’s probably gonna end up a little more skittish than we know him to be, less likely to walk into situations assuming they’ll all work out. His lusus has always loved and taken care of him, but Fairybulldad is a prey animal and that means you don’t really fight your way out of things, you either run or you bring the situation down away from danger. He jokes around, compliments people easily, is quick to laugh, just in general he likes it when the air around him is kept light and friendly, and will work to keep it that way with his own breezy and friendly demeanor. He and Dave are the greatest bros to ever bro, and everyone keeps wondering when the two of them are finally going to just GO PALE already, it’s so obvious to everyone except the two of them. Mutual pale pining? Mutual pale pining. Defo. John probably gets a huge kick out of being able to commune with animals, and will DEFINITELY make them do stupid shit for kicks. Dave has had so many birds fly in through his window at random, inconvenient times. So many. Curse you Nitram!! John laughs it off and to be fair, Dave does really like birds. John also has like, a million friends that he can just sorta cuddle with at any given time. All the meowbeasts and barkbeasts love him. All of them. Is very likely scared of Rose, who is a very cold midblood and like, constantly furious. Danger that way lies. Jade keeps telling him she’s actually a sweetie deep down and John isn’t quite sure if he believes her, so he and Rose have a relatively distant friendship until the Game happens and John gets to interact with her regularly and he finds out that yeah, she is really cool, and she’s FIERCELY loving of her friends, she’s just really really really fucking intense basically all the time always. The two end up hitting it off, just, later in their lives than they did in canon. As Heir of Breath, his role is still one who must embody freedom, freedom from the shackles of their old society, freedom from the restrictions placed on the various castes, and freedom from his own neuroses, which are as multitudinous as ever. Naturally, he cannot accomplish this when acting on his own, and the four of them must still work together to bring out their own best qualities, and each others’.

Dave Megido, lowest financial station but with a cool Kangaramdad who does, by all known accounts, love his child. Probably has a sort of “time is money” kind of outlook and a “spend it while you have it” motto for finances, the fanciest thing he owns is his camera and he loves it to bits and pieces and he takes pictures of everything, starts up a whole series that’s just about documenting beauty in the day to day life of himself and his neighbors. He’s got a HUGE warmblood following, people like him who enjoy seeing great things in little moments that he’s somehow managed to capture on film. He loves it because Dave, as always, Craves That Mineral Validation, and also it’s his own way of fighting back against the system. He doesn’t really think there’s a whole lot he can do, but he CAN do this, and it’s what he likes and it’s how he does it. Has a super big fucking huge giant pale crush on John who always takes the time out of his night to make Dave smile and remind him of how important his friendship is to John and Dave looooooves him he’s the beeeeeeest. The two of them grow up not too far from each other so they hang out regularly and play around and are children together and Kangaramdad and Fairbulldad get along well and it’s GREAT. Dave has a somewhat-normal childhood, as much as “normal” can possibly be on a planet that repeatedly and constantly tells you that your life means nothing and you’re going to die soon anyway. Probably maintains his fascination with death and dead things, probably still has a “dead things in jars” collection, and it’s very likely because he lives in a society that really requires Dave to reconcile with the concept of death and think about it often. It’s always right there, looming behind the corner, and he can ignore it and be scared of it or he, being a child, can engage with it in a frankly weird, but ultimately progressive way. As Knight of Time, his job is to protect the alpha timeline and foster its happening, so he still winds up seeing his own dead body a lot and he still has to be VERY METICULOUS in the time loops he creates, and it’s nasty and awful but he has John around. Tbeh, I think Dave might just forgo his planet’s quest entirely and hang out on John’s planet. Do some puzzles, crack some jokes, like they usually do, only this time in a weird magic Game that is apparently birthing a new universe. He and Rose very likely poke a lot of fun at each other, sorta nudging at “how far can I push” but also “ahaha, I am aloof and unbothered, you cannot rattle MY bones” so it’s just this weird, vaguely antagonistic friendship where they both REALLY like each other and are glad to be friends but sometimes they just can’t resist being little shits. He and Jade are also good friends, Jade making sure Dave is okay and checking in pretty regularly and Dave sending her things he knows will brighten her day and making sure she feels like one of the cool kids too, because she is cool, he thinks she’s so cool and really looks up to her as a person and as a friend and is really glad that he knows her. Eventually Dave meets a surly alien named Karkat and falls ass over heels in love with him and it’s DUMB and JOHN HELP WHAT SHOULD HE DO and oh god is he pitch for Karkat??? Flush???? Should someone come mediate them??? Is he pale for Karkat??? What’s going on he’s feeling so many things for this awful, stupid, beautiful dumb hilarious compassionate-yet-selfish boy John help Dave’s going to die of alien-gay. John pats his shoulder and smirks at him, and then proceeds to relentlessly tease him for his crush on an alien.

Jade Maryam, raised middle class out in the middle of FUCKING NOWHERE (again), with a lusus who loves her. Probably ends up pretty well adjusted, all things considered. She has to fight off zombies, so that’s something, but she gardens and she does her sciency stuff and she’s awake on Prospit and friends with the chess people, so really her upbringing is nigh-identical to that of canon, but this time with a guardian of pretty high intelligence, compared to all her friends’ custodians, instead of a magic dog. The violence of Alternian society probably makes her a little more prone to physical violence as a response to her anger, and she likely has like a million and five rifles, but ultimately I can’t see a whole hell of a lot of difference between Jade Maryam and Jade Harley. Still the Witch of Space, whose job is to bring about the new world and alter the whole of the universe for the good of the people residing within it. Good pals with her friends, dating Rose in pale and acting as something of an anchor for them all, the reliable, solid member that they can all fall back on. Idk if I’ve talked about this often but I associate all of the kids with certain elements and I’ve always pegged Jade for earth. She’s grounded, solid, and focused on growth, and I love her

[zalrb]

We’re starting to get somewhere {TVD 1x05 Review}

Hi all! Welcome to the fifth review of TVD season 1. Considering that I haven’t like sat down to watch a full episode of the past seasons of TVD in a few years and my memory might not be the greatest I think I will start with my usual disclaimer: I write my thoughts in real time so if I make a mistake at the beginning of this post, it will be corrected by the end. There will be anti-Damon and anti-Delena sentiments (I’m only mentioning these two because it’s the beginning of the series), and in light of recent events I feel the need to say that there may be some anti-Jenna sentiments too. I will probably bring up other shows and call attention to misogynoir, racism, anti-blackness etc. Also I do not have MS Word right now so I wrote this on Kingsoft, which is eh, so some of the formatting might be off. Ready? Let’s go.

1. “In the dark ages, when a vampire’s actions would bring harm or exposure to the entire race, they would face judgement, they sought to reeducate them than to punish them.” So, like, there IS a culture of vampires with certain traditions that Stefan knows but we never ever talk about it, and this line indicates that there is a governing body, which we never explore or hear about ever again. Such a missed opportunity. 

2. “And then in 50 years we’ll reevaluate.” It’s actually a good plan and Stefan is a methodical thinker.

3. LOL I like how Elena is more horrified about what’s happening with Vicki and Jeremy than Jenna. “He could at least be craftier about it, make more of an effort to sneak her in and out.” Like if she’s going to be THAT kind of guardian then she should be proactive about it. Set a place for Vicki at the table, tell them to use condoms, and not sneak her in because if they’re going to have sex she’d at least want to know they’re being safe and they can be all, “Eew! Jenna!” but at least she’s DOING something.

4. I would respect Jenna’s presence a lot more if the show was like “we needed her here so CPS won’t come” except Matt and Vicki are virtually living on their own so Elena and Jeremy could’ve done so as well because Jenna literally serves no purpose #sorrynotsorry

5. I do love Elena mimicking Stefan though because it’s kind of on point. “Hi, uh ... Elena, uh...” LOL SHE IS NOT IMPRESSED and I think it shows how new yet how familiar they are with each other. 

6. “Honestly, I’m not going to be one of those pathetic girls whose world stops spinning because of some guy!” 

Julie Plec:

7. “I hate lying to her, Zach, I’m not GOOD at it” LOL you really aren’t, Stefan. Also Paul looks unbelievably gorgeous, OMG. 

8. “Unbelievable, it’s like nothing happened.” Elena, instead of being lowkey judgemental of Caroline for trying to move on from a traumatic experience, why don’t you TALK to her about it?

9. “I have to be home after school but The Grill, around 4 o’clock?” So when does school end and how long does it take you to get home and then to The Grill from home? Because I finished school at 3:15 so like ... cutting it kind of close, Stefan? At least say 4:30. 

10. I do like that Elena is pissed at Stefan but still wearing the SE, sorry the “DE”, necklace, it’s like when Buffy ws calling Angel a stalker but was still wearing his leather jacket, like OK, girl. 

11. Elena, why would you ask Matt if he’d seen Stefan? That boy is lost in love with you, he done told you he wasn’t give up on you two, like have some tact. 

12. I like how it was supposed to be this huge thing that Elena played pull with Damon in 1x11 but she was playing pool with Matt in 1x05 and he even gets her to stick around by teasing, “I’ll let you break” like you are not special, Damon. 

13. Zach is stupid, Damon is coughing and you go to the cellar, why? 

14. Zach is indulging Damon and I don’t even know why. Like if the coughing was bothering you so much then take a walk. 

15. And see, you get choked out. And I don’t even feel bad. 

16. Also, Elena isn’t talking about Vicki like she’s Matt’s sister. 

17. “How late is it?” “Hitting the hour mark.” Seriously, Stefan, 4:00?

18. So Tiki’s grandfather is all “I know you” to Stefan and Elena turns around to look at Tiki’s grandfather so she’s standing next to Stefan and my God, they’re a gorgeous couple. Like we already knew that but sometimes there’s a moment where Nina and Paul stand next to each other and you’re like WOW, it reminds me of my friend and his boyfriend, like I’d hung out with them many times before but I was coming down the stairs at a party one night, kinda buzzed and I just saw them sitting together and they looked SO hot and I was like holy shit they’re a sexy couple and my other friend came and was like Zal, what’s up and I was like aren’t they a hot couple? And she was like YES and we just spent a good ten minutes with three other people marvelling about how hot they were and that’s how I feel right now. 

19. Although Elena getting upset that an old man thinks he knows Stefan is weird, like the fact that the old man DOES know Stefan aside, Elena doesn’t know he’s a vampire yet, so I don’t think I would be suspicious of that, I’d be like lol ok old man, how many scotches have YOU had?

20. I do think it’s adorable that Elena storms home mad so then Stefan essentially just shows up like “So I’m cooking you dinner” and I love that Jeremy is in on it: “Jeremy told me that chicken parmasean is one of your favourites” because like how did that go? Did Stefan have Jeremy’s number or find him at The Grill somewhere like, I totally screwed up with Elena and I want to make it up to her to apologize, what does she ... I already��got her a book, what’s her favourite dish? I can cook!

21. “He claims that he was with her first, I don’t know...” it’s funny because I usually sort of just overlook this line but the fact that Stefan doesn’t know when the timeline with him and Damon and Katherine began is because he was compelled. His memories came back when he turned, yes, but there are still things he wouldn’t know because it was only with Damon whereas Damon knew everything, Damon knew that Stefan was going to be Katherine’s escort to the Founder’s Ball and listened to their conversation in Katherine’s room. Like it’s actually really fucked up that Damon knew everything that was happening and didn’t think to protect Stefan from it. And I would be more ... understanding if there was also a sort of fear with Katherine? If Damon WAS like, he’s just a kid but I’m a man, maybe it should just be you and me and Katherine vamps out on him and chokes him and is like, “My game, my rules, understand?” but nothing like that happens, SO.

22. I really don’t get what it is that Jeremy sees in Vicki. 

23. “But I am no snob” Stefan, honey, you’re a pop culture snob, it’s OK though.

24. These SE smiles, KILL ME. 

25. Something else I just noticed! When Elena cuts her finger and Stefan vamps out, he turns away to hide his face and Elena is trying to get him to turn around and see but he won’t let her:

And in 1x10 the same thing happens except she tells him not to hide from her sohe obliges:

That is called development within the narrative.

26. I also enjoy this scene because it shows the tensions between both of Stefan’s worlds, Elena is getting to know the man Stefan, his interests, his hobbies, they’re vibing but then she cuts her finger and his vampirism springs forward so his other side is always there lurking beneath and he’s battling it to get to know her, to be with her. SE is poetic in a lot of ways, guys, ways in which DE and SC just can’t touch. 

27. I also like that Stefan leans forward to kiss her but stops because he isn’t sure if it’s what she wants and Elena fucking sighs and kisses him like YES YOU IDIOT. 

28. And then she pulls away and Stefan reaches forward for another kiss. Omg they’re adorbz.

29. So how exactly can Damon reach out to Caroline? Is it just because he fed on her? 

30. Seriously, his terrorizing of Caroline just never fucking ends.

31. I do like that she was talking to Tiki about swimsuits because not everything has to be directly related to plot.

32. Omg why do they KEEP going down to the damn basement. Stefan I get that he’s your brother but the whole point is for him to desiccate and you said it would take a week. Come back in a week, fam. Or at least don’t TALK to him. 

33. Lol these dorks trying to get the other to undress. 

34. The Tiki and Bonnie thing still pisses me off. 

35. Jenna and Logan ... Like, I guess. 

36. They could’ve given Candice a better two piece. 

37. I mean this could’ve been a scene where Stefan is topless for longer than 30 seconds but they chose not to and I’m just like but, like, why?

38. Elena is equally bad at lying to Stefan. You two need to try and stop lying to each other because you both see through the other.

39. Jenna, aren’t you supposed to be like a frazzled 26 year old Masters or PhD student but you have time to wait around for an hour for a man you ran away from town because of? I mean, I guess. 

40. Vicki, Jeremy’s parents are dead, do you not think it’s a little disrespectful to take him to a cemetery to get wasted? 

41. “You bit me.” “You liked it, remember?” “Why do I keep remembering the same things but in different ways?” “You remember what I want you to remember.” Oh but Damon didn’t rape Caroline, right? 

42. I completely forgot that Damon chases Caroline throughout the Salvatore house to kill and feed on her but she only got away because he didn’t have his daylight ring. And people ask me to disregard season 1 Daroline?

43. They really shunt Bonnie’s witch storyline to the side until they need her to help Damon and Elena.

44. Vicki’s speech to Jeremy is stupid. I get there is a class difference between them and Vicki would be full of rage because of that and her absentee mom but, like, TVD doesn’t do it well enough for me to think she’s anything more than a brat especially in the context of the speech. Jeremy is rightfully angry because Vicki stole Elena’s pills from his house and they’re getting high in a cemetery which could be triggering to him and he calls the people they’re getting high with waste of space small town lifers and she gets angry like well what am I? But when has Jeremy EVER made her feel like she’s a waste of space? And her saying if she wants to feel like crap she can go back to Tyler is like ... You stole from his house, though. I don’t know, the context is all wrong, at least with Matt and Caroline when she makes a crack about him being a busboy, Matt being upset makes sense. In Friday Night Lights, I felt for Tyra who basically has the same storyline as Vicki and I can’t decide if it’s because of the writing or the acting. 

45. Caroline is SO rude to Liz. And Liz is trying. I get that Caroline is traumatized by what happened but her hostility toward Liz in season 1 is literally something I never got. And please no one say “it’s just a teen thing” because no. 

46. Elena finding out Stefan is a vampire and then immediately going to his house alone being like what are you??? Is like so you must know he won’t hurt you because you’re not being cautious at ALL. 

 OK! That’s all for 1x05 annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I have 1x06 and 1x07 cued up so when I get home I may or may not review those too!