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moonastro · 1 month ago

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groom persona chart

industria in the houses (389)

what is a groom persona chart? this chart exhibits qualities that your husband will have and possible placements that can be seen in their chart. it is simply a chart all about your spouse in a woman's chart. the asteroid groom can be identified using the code 5129.

asteroid industria which can be brought up using the code 389. it represents what type of career or profession your future spouse may have and be in.

<<<<lets get into the house placement of the asteroid industria and what it means in likes of the career of your spouse!!!>>>>

˚˖˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚READINGS AVAILABLE (DM ME)˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚˚˖˚

industria in 1st house: this field that your spouse is in can be a representation of their ego and their self, the job that he has can tell a lot about him. he can really identify as his job so can be very focused at work and can almost create a whole personality trait out of his work. always mentioning that he's working and so on. can take pride in his job and may rarely change jobs as can relate too much to the job that may not have the guts to let go of it. his job can be a focal point of his life meaning that his life evolves around his job and not the other way around. its all he ever talks about, can never have the time to do anything else but work.

⊹₊⟡⋆depending on what sign or aspects that are present with industria can tell us more details about your spouses career. so if in scorpio- can include hard labour, conflicts within the job, some unhealthy attachments related to the job, job related to metal, knifes, blood, skin and organs/meat. if in aspect to the sun- job can be related to sweat, training, masculine energy, lots of mean working at that job, a high efficient job, jobs related to, production and behind the scenes. if aspected to mars- job related to metal, hard labour, muscle, sore body, problems to health, slaughter, conflict, high esteem, arguing.

industria in 2nd house: for this placement, the field that your spouse can be a part of are working in the section of basic needs, meaning that this job can be involved with working with food, clothing, water, shelter and money as those are the survival needs that humans need. a job in culinary, cooking, nutrition, such as a dietician, chef, cook. a nurturing and guiding job so this can mean being in the field of taking care of others and making them comfortable.

⊹₊⟡⋆ depending on the aspects and signs can influence the depth of the career. so if mars is aspecting the asteroid- hard labour, sweat, muscle building, arguments, conflict, confidence, tiredness. in Aquarius- online, socials media, influence, IT, communal, crowd speaking, job related to a big crowd, inspiring job.

industria in 3rd house: fields related to this placement can include trips, having opportunities to travel while working, being involved in the local media and being known locally, so being a part of the news, journalist, news reporter, counsellor, therapist, transportation worker such as a taxi driver, uber, bus driver, coach driver etc. may have a lot of communications involved or lots of talking and sharing is involved in the job, like for example sharing information, passing on ideas, carrying on a procedure etc. may work at an education system that works with younger people, lower education assistant, teacher, advisor, principle etc. may develop or attract a lot of contact throughout this job as he may meet loads of people in a day, may create this restlessness energy also that is associated with this job.

⊹₊⟡⋆ depending on what aspects are influenced and the sign its in can tell us more depth into the position of your spouses career. if in gemini-job related to communities, writing, social media, advising, teaching, developing, tech, vehicles, travel. if in capricorn- business, manager, supervisor, head of department, boss, ceo. aspecting the moon- home carer, nurse, doctor, job related to emotional intelligence, home provider, he can have a stable job that gives a steady pay check, nurturing.

industria in 4th house: for this placement, your spouse may be in the filed correlated to security meaning that this can be a job of stable flow of wages and income. this job that your spouse is in can create stability for other people as well so working on building s better home place for people like architect, real estate, flooring company, movers people, furniture related, designer, interior and exterior designer. working with families so a counsellor, nurse, doctor, and anywhere else related to hospitality and taking care of people in general and creating a comfortable and caring atmosphere. this job can come very naturally for your spouse and it can actually be a field that he chose because of his interests and by being very good at what he does, it can come at ease to him.

⊹₊⟡⋆depending on the sign or aspects related to the asteroid can give us more insight on the career. so if its aspecting saturn- job related to labour, stable long hours, dedication and concentration so can be a routine based job, lots of stress. if in cancer- job related to curing people, helping people, cooking, acts of service, creating a comfortable environment, cleaning, house related job.

industria in 5th house: this placement can indicate a career associated with creative and novelty related such as wedding planner, wedding photographer and so forth, this job can be quite risk taking and can require a lot of confidence and effort, perhaps even willpower also. working with children or around children is possible, having a job that is considered childish or easy and simple. this job can include a lot of projects and tasks involved in it. this job of his can also be a hobby of his and thats why it may seem like it is easy to him anyway. this career can be considered as fun and very playful, can be a genuinely fun and exciting job for your spouse. this could also be a passion of many, this job that your spouse may have can be desired by many people and it can be considered as the job of successful people.

⊹₊⟡⋆ if aspecting venus- beauty, music, musician, dancer, working with high brands, working with successful people and collaborating with many, luxury, sweets, fashion, make up, skin. if in pisces- hospital, travelling, flight attendant, pilot, getting a job offer in a foreign land, a boat driver, acting, music, artist. in aries- fast paced, action oriented job, conflict, arguments, jobs involving competition and envy, vehicles, camera.

industria in 6th house: careers that can be associated with this placement are jobs that are health related, such as taking care of the body and examples include fitness trainer, dietician, working in the gym, personal trainer, perhaps even a doctor, nurse and other health related professions. a job that requires lots of empathy and seeing a lot of people being hurt and having no control over it. a job that can fee like you are stuck. also a job related to pets, animals so working with them or working to heal them and caring for them. this job may require your spouse to sacrifice a lot also, either if its family time, assets, and so forth.

⊹₊⟡⋆ if in aspect to neptune- job related to illusions, drugs, alcohol, addiction, an addictive substance, movies, job related to being easily influenced. in scorpio- knives, cutting, metal, surgery, blood, transformational occurrence, occult, secrets, deep. in libra- beaty, food, sweets, influence, changes, discoveries, a job related to co working and working and partnering with other people.

industria in 7th house: the career of your spouse can be related to awakenings and getting humbled almost, this field of work can be a change in their life's perspective and can often change also from time to time, this may also mean that he can change industries also. a career that involves reactions and feedback which means that the customers feedback can mean a lot to this jobs inquiry. perhaps even feedback is what gives the job business as well. jobs that might be on mention are small business, online seller, plumber, nail technician, driving instructor and so forth. any job that requires a good feedback in order to flow customers in. this job can be involved in equality and discoveries, anything to do with cases and technologies also. working in big tech companies or perhaps even having personal assignments assigned to them. such jobs that fit into this category are lawyer, crime scene detective, detective, research company, personal assistant, business owner and so forth.

⊹₊⟡⋆ aspecting the sun- jobs related to managing, fame, organising, being a leader, being a monitor person, security guard, labour job, working around a big crowd, influencing. in scorpio- meat, skin, surgery, mystery, secrets, keeping it low and confidential.

industria in 8th house: a career that your spouse may have is something to do with duty and receiving orders from someone such as working for someone or being involved with the military and army. a job that has a lot of respect and a job that respect is likely. a lot of rules and especially a lot of regulations can be in set at your spouses job that your spouse may have to follow. a high diligence and secretive career. career involved with death and inheritance perhaps its them working at a death insurance company, a person who organises funerals and so forth. any job that may organise or be in charge of inheritance cheques also. he may work somewhere where contracts are involved and most likely can be working for government rules and the system of the government also.

⊹₊⟡⋆ aspecting pluto- strictness, possessiveness, unhealthy habits, jobs to do with addiction and control. aspecting saturn- dedication, jobs related to being a leader and being discipline, a job that takes long hours and takes hard work to complete.

industria in 9th house : so your spouses field of specialty may be include a lot of travel, lots of moving about the place and always experiencing something new. this job may have needed a source of higher education so your spouse may needed to go to university or college in order to get a degree of some sort to have this career. this career may be a high success field meaning that he is very good at what he does although may not realise it. may work with a lot of people from different backgrounds and different atmospheres, may have seen everything or it may feel like it as his job can be quite diverse and challenging. this field in that your spouse can be in can include a mass media attention, or may have access to a mass media meaning that he can be very influential and quite powerful with his position in his career.

⊹₊⟡⋆depending on aspects and the sign that industria is in can really make a difference in what the actual career is. lets say its in taurus- beauty, singing, financial building, banker, investor, chef. say if it is aspecting saturn- long hours, labour, professionalism, seriousness, hard concentration is involved in his job. if in gemini- social media, writing, using new ideas, quick and sharp thinking/mind, quick outcomes, fast approach.

industria in 10th house: so your spouse field of work can be related to high status and high attention. this career may require him to deal with a lot behind the scenes and deal with most stuff by himself, a very personal yet public job. can have a big leadership position, a very guarding yet important role. may have a standard that needs to be kept in this field. maybe a certain appearance may be kept such as clothes, hairstyle, what to wear and not wear, perhaps even control on weight and what can be done to the body and what can not. a very high demanding job, very high stress. lots of control and this can be a very controlling job. also there can be competition in this career, whether its amongst your colleagues or its a high competing job to access.

⊹₊⟡⋆depending on the sign and aspects that are occurring to this asteroid can tell us more about what career they may have. so if uranus is aspecting industria- internet, social media, high following online, high online consumption, high tech, uncontrollable atmosphere, sudden changes, sudden doings, no control. if aspecting the ascendant- appearance, high maintenance, beauty, body, accessories, personality.

industria in 11th house: this career can be associate with working with groups of people, people that they may feel familiar with also. this can be a job where he works in his community where he helps out people that he knows. this job may also be a voluntary job that he signed up for. this can be a very peaceful yet shared experience career, lots of advice may be given in the job and especially a lot of shared creative ideas may be talked upon. the colleagues of your spouse may be very friendly and the whole atmosphere of the job can be very friendly and comforting. job that is involved in beauty and the internet. especially a career that involves high tech and computers.

⊹₊⟡⋆ in gemini- transport, vehicles, bicycles, a job related to teaching, social media influencer, local community, if aspecting jupiter- teacher, mentor, librarian, author, influencer.

industria in 12th house: this career of your spouse can be detail based and can require lots of memorisation and delivering of details. this job can be of sections meaning that it requires completion of one assessment in order to be able to be carried onto the next one, you cant just skip ahead and things like that. this career of your spouse can be involved into efficiency and order and by that this may mean that their job is done efficiently and there may be different ways of doing that job. there can be a value of perfection and cleanliness related to the job. there can be high expectations and pressure that is linked to this job of your spouse. anything to do with health and especially mental health, remedies, consultations and seeking advice. lots of research and techniques can be used in his career.

⊹₊⟡⋆depending on the sign and aspects of the asteroid it can influence more depth into what specific profession he can be a part of. in scorpio- can be related to research, writing, astrology, transformational work, deep messaging, cutting, mining, occult teachings. if in taurus- beauty, singing, voice, dancing, finance, bank, assets, job related to food, cooking, meal preparations, fluctuation themed such as investments and stock markets. associations to mercury- job can be related to text, writing, teaching, travelling, changing positions, speech, social media, vehicles, exchanges. aspects to the sun- job related to fame, spotlight, ego exchange, being themself, high position, knowing their way around things.

Guysss, im glad to be posting this, i really want to get back with posting regularly but have so much to dooo- its never ending. anyway, thanks for reading and have a lovely rest of your day.

#groom persona chart #persona chart #astrology #astrology observations #astrology signs #astrology community #industria #asteroid astrology #asteroid observations #astro #astro community #astro notes #astro observations #astro placements

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cupcakedieabetes · 1 month ago

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DPXDC Prompt: Contingencies

Team Phantom joins the JL (YJL?). Batman wants contingencies for Team Phantom. But Team Phantom are all enablers for each other, and they're teens; thus, a bunch of gremlins.

So, Tucker is in charge of Danny's, Danny is in charge of Sam's and Sam is in charge of Tucker's.

As his friends, even if Danny was scared of becoming the future him, there's no way they'll ever give them The very weakness that could end up really killing him.

Danny doesn't know bc he expects them to give Blood Blossoms, but he'll never harm any of his friends. Embarrass them? Sure. But never hurt them.

So Batman just receives something like:

For Danny:

Buy Fruitloop (Bc in this AU, it's Fruitloop) cereal.

Aim it at him by the handful. He will hiss at it like a cat being sprayed with water. He knows it by scent.

When empty, throw the box at him. He will attack it instead.

He now cat.

Complete with a picture of Danny hissing at a box of Fruitloop that was frozen.

For Tucker:

A recipe book full of vegetarian stuff with a note telling them to force-feed him it. It'll make him beg for mercy. Ban him from meat products. He's a weak, no-muscle dude, so forcing him to eat those should be easy.

For Sam:

"She hates frilly, girly, pink stuff. Use your fastest hero and make her use it. The more ribbons, laces and sequins, the better".

#dc x dp #dc x dp prompt #danny phantom #dcxdp #dpxdc #sam manson #tucker foley #danny fenton #batman #Batman probably makes his own contingencies just in case #but it couldn't hurt to try asking the right?#tucker's the chair guy #no way he has muscles #Danny's the muscle #He's the brains #Sam's the violence

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reasonsforhope · 5 months ago

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"A trial programme providing a free meal a day has yielded not just financial relief for households but also improved child nutrition and student outcomes such as attendance and focus.

The free school lunch initiative for children from poor or disadvantaged families was introduced by President-elect Prabowo Subianto and Vice-President-elect Gibran Rakabuming Raka as one of their key campaign promises. Mr Gibran is President Joko Widodo’s elder son...

The pair – who won the Feb 14 presidential election by a landslide and will be inaugurated in October – had in the lead-up to the polls pledged to offer free lunches and milk for students as well as nutritional aid to toddlers and pregnant women in a bid to lower the country’s stunting rate.

Over 20 per cent of Indonesian children under the age of five experienced stunted growth in 2022, according to the United Nations. Stunting, which is being too short for one’s age as a result of poor nutrition, can result in long-term development delays.

When fully implemented by 2029, the programme will cover 83.9 million beneficiaries across the world’s fourth-most-populous nation of nearly 280 million, and cost over 400 trillion rupiah (S$33.7 billion) a year – about 2 per cent of annual gross domestic product.

But on the ground, a trial that was first rolled out in January at 16 schools in Sukabumi, in West Java, has been warmly received by around 3,500 students, their parents and school leaders, who have seen positive changes.

For one thing, saving on the cost of lunches for four of her nine children has provided significant financial relief for Indonesian housewife Rofiati, 46.

Her husband, a teacher at an Islamic boarding school in Sukabumi, earns 2.5 million rupiah a month on average, and the free school meals have helped them save about 420,000 rupiah monthly, which she can put towards other household needs.

Her children do not usually have breakfast before school. Before the free lunch programme, her children would eat lunch only upon returning home from school. Lunch would usually consist of instant noodles, or dishes of vegetables, eggs, tempeh or salted fish.

“I am not worried any more because I know they will eat at school. They have more appetite as they eat together with their friends,�� Ms Rofiati told The Straits Times, adding that her children’s appetites have improved and they also like the variety of the meals provided. In fact, her 11-year-old daughter has gained 4kg since the programme started.

Every day, students on the programme receive a lunch package worth 15,000 rupiah, containing rice, meat such as chicken, fish or beef, vegetables, fruit and milk.

At home, the family usually eats meat only once a week.

It is not just the financial savings that parents are happy about. Ms Depi Ratna Juwarti, who has two out of three children benefiting from the free lunches, has noticed other encouraging results.

“They rarely get sick now. They are more motivated to study and spend a longer time studying at night,” Ms Depi said.

Her eldest daughter, Adifa Alifiya Mahrain, 12, also has good reviews. “The food is always delicious and the menu changes every day. I always eat everything. It’s a lot of fun to eat together with my friends,” said Adifa, who hopes to become a paediatrician in the future.

Mr Shalahudin Sanusi, principal of Gelarsari Islamic primary school in Sukabumi, which is trialling the programme, said he has noticed that pupils have been able to concentrate better and understand lessons more.

He said the initiative has raised the attendance rate of its 110 pupils from 85 per cent to 95 per cent. “They eat modestly at home – mostly rice and salted fish. Rice and eggs are the best they can get,” he told ST. “Now, they are so excited, some even arrive in school at 6am, an hour before lessons start.”"

-via The Straits Times, May 18, 2024

#indonesia #school lunch #free school meals #school #childhood #nutrition #food insecurity #food access #good news #hope

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allthegeopolitics · 3 months ago

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Black-coloured plastic used in children’s toys, takeout containers, kitchen utensils and grocery meat and produce trays may contain alarming levels of toxic flame retardants that may be leaching from electronic products during recycling, a new study found. “A product with one of the highest levels of flame retardants were black plastic pirate coin beads that kids wear — they resemble Mardi Gras beads but more for costume wear,” said lead study author Megan Liu, science and policy manager for Toxic-Free Future, an environmental advocacy group. “That particular product had up to 22,800 parts per million of total flame retardants — that’s almost three per cent by weight,” Liu said. “Kids will often play with toys multiple days in a row until they tire of them.”

#plastic products #flame retardant #health and safety

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bunnyb0ne · 2 months ago

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Hello So, recently I've been making some Dialtown edits with my OC's and characters from DSAF. I've decided to finally show them, hope you like my creatures! This post is all about Dialtown x DSAF crossover.

The big man himself, the owner of 'bear' Jack Kennedy! I imagine that he's not far different from his counterpart, weird, eccentric, loud, emotional, and rude, but with his own...charm? Other businesses in town, like Bunny's Burgers, are probably so out of ideas why even 'bear' still has any customers at all lol For some reason I remember already seeing Dialtown Jack. Maybe it was a fan art or something like that... Anyway, I've decided to give him this phone head bc this model was produced in the 80s I think, right when Jack was born. So it's kinda fitting. He also has a very long antenna and probably hits his head every time haha

Let's move to the kitchen and meet Ronaldo, our dear and only chef. He is a proud creator of the restaurant's tastiest dishes that, aside from regular products, include trash, rat meat, radioactive slime, and many other mystery goods The pizza cutter head was an obvious choice, but I think it looks really nice on him, especially with a little chef's hat

Jimbo is a proud father-to-be and the only janitor in the whole building. This man is a pure reason why 'bear' hasn't started to be considered a dump yet. He suffers greatly for that.

Matt is...something. Still a virgin. Still a scary freaking creep. I imagine the mannequin head is so much worse than any normie's face, so he's even scarier in Dialtown- The permanent employees also include Harry, the manager, and that's pretty much it. Guards and performers (they don't have robots but hire live concerts instead...and sometimes Jack just gets on stage and starts singing violently) change constantly, just like in the third game, but I may do some of them in the future Note: I do not own any assets that I use. This is just a little fun activity, and I find random pictures on the internet for that.

#dialtown #dsaf #dayshift at freddy's

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pincushionx · 1 month ago

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Oh I just had an evil thought about the Ghoul AU

Belos uses food as a main manipulation tactic for keeping Hunter "efficient and successful" on his missions. It has not been revealed where that meat comes from (if I'm not missing or forgetting anything).

I would totally believe that since petrification is admittedly rarely done if at all in the present day, Belos would feed him the meat of prisoners. Maybe he would amputate them and use those removed limbs to simultaneously feed Hunter less and still keep the meat fresh---objectively, it's being efficient with resources and punishing him for underperforming.

How fucked up would it be if (assuming that the ingredients required to create Grimwalkers are reusable and that the process is worth the time investment) Belos feeds him other Grimwalkers. What if he had tried it previously with the bodies of failed specimens? Would they have been able to tell the difference?

Sorry for the ramble, I just woke up from a nap and had a brrrrrr brain moment

Correct for the most part! The Emperor coven is already known to have secret petrifications of Wild witches so it would make sense for some of them to be executed in different ways for reasons. I don’t think he’d be bother to have limbs amputated, rather why not just kill them if he’s already fine with doing that.

Though the idea of “reformed” wild witches(aka those forced into covens) leaving the conformatorium with missing limbs and being told that’s just punishment is all sorts of dystopian. Though, I always like the idea that the most wild of witches would just “disappear” and the rest, lesser ones would be forced into covens or kept imprisoned. They all get arrested but have different fates depending on severity of their crimes.

After Hunter carvings arise, Belos has a select few witches hanged and taken to the morgue where they could be butchered by him or Hunter (a form of punishment) for food privately.

I always saw Grimwalkers being a limited product due to having very limited sources. I mean there aren’t many palistorm trees, selkidomous are rare, stonesleeper lungs where already limited at the start and might degrade over time, and the galdorstones are difficult to obtain. Realistically, I think Belos could only have a max of two grimwalkers at a time since he’s reusing parts.

Also the horror that Hunter’s body parts had been reused multiple times for past Golden Guards is too horrific to pass up. I think Belos harvests the corpses for these parts after killing them, all besides the bone since that’s too tedious for what it’s worth. So as much as he would like to make Hunter cannibalize other grimwalkers for experiments, he can’t do that unfortunately without further degrading a limited source.

(I think he would have had more sources in the past where he would have been able to do experiments on the grimwalkers until these materials eventually became unusable and he had to be more cautious on what he used his remaining materials on, much to his dismay)

So the best he could do is make Hunter eat the bones. Yes our boy eats bones, plenty of carnivorous animals do and it’s a good source of calcium. Though he can’t survive off them, thats an incredibly deficient diet. Since Hunter is actually consuming something that’s the same species as him, this is genuine cannibalism and it makes him incredibly sick.

Hunter is unaware of this of course, assuming it’s some random witch bone that tastes weirdly gross and is also a bit aged for his liking(not like he has the option to be picky)

Like I said, it makes him sick. Like he’s been poisoned sick. Through these are just bones and who’s to say that Belos doesn’t have grimwalker organs and flesh, preserved somewhere in storage. Might explore that possibility in the future.

#haven’t made a ghoul Hunter post in a minute but I’m back now!#this ask has been sitting in the inbox for bit and I’m glad I finally got to it!#it’s a really good question and I thoroughly enjoy rambling asks!#my art #toh #the owl house #hunter toh #hunter the owl house #the owl house hunter #toh hunter #hunter the golden guard #belos toh #emperor belos #cw cannibalism #for realsies now!#cw mention of death #ghoul hunter au #ghoul hunter #cw vomit

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dapg-otmebytheballs · 11 months ago

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All or Nothing and lowave records

Strap in because this is gonna be a long one. This post will try to shed some light on how the whole lowave records thing works, how you can use this music, how it is being distributed, and what all a contract with lowave would include. All this and more below the cut!

Let us start with the basics: What is lowave records?

Quite succinctly summed up on their website as follows:

They make and distribute royalty-free music for content creators - specifically video-format content creators like Youtubers and streamers - they share some streaming revenue (30%, we'll get into that) with the creators who are labelled 'co-artists' and get promotion of their music through the content creators.

So, that brings us to the next big question: What is royalty-free music?

This is music that is free to use. Yes, by anyone, by Dan and Phil, by other creators, by you and me, any of us. This is by no means a new thing of course, anyone who has created content online would have come across other such services. just as an example, bensound.com hosts a large library of royalty-free music which you can use in any video by simply crediting the site in your description. Lowave works in a similar fashion. The music is not copyrighted. However, the rights to the music are held by lowave records and there are limitations on its use, which we will get into ahead.

How is the money working (preliminary edition)?

I will add details to this later when I discuss the contract, but let's see the info we get straight away from the FAQs: You do not have to pay them anything to make music for you

The money is coming in from the streaming platforms, depends completely on amount of streams, and is shared between lowave and the creators

Also from the FAQs: how can this music be used?

Anyone can freely use any of the music from lowave records, which means that yes, you can use any music from All or Nothing for your purposes with credit, it will not be taken down

Is this the only music we will hear on dapg now? Will there be more albums?

Not necessarily! This isn't an exclusive deal, DnP can use any music they want on the channel. As for new albums, seems like it depends on how this one does (and it seems to be doing quite well!) which will unlock future avenues for more collabs with lowave

Okay BASICS DONE if you're still reading you're probably here for the real meat so let us get into it

How is the money working (director's cut)?

Let us start with the terms on the partner agreement:

Content Creators get 30% of the 'remaining income'. This basically means any costs that streaming platforms are deducting, any processing fees, taxes etc will be deducted before the 30% share is calculated. The second point there basically means that the deductions here do not include business expenses of the label itself, ie when the label calculates its own profit production costs and various other expenses are deducted from the income, but these costs will not affect the revenue received by the content creators (You are probably already thinking 'how is this company earning enough to keep going?' and I will touch on that later as well)

Payment installments are simple enough but here we see a third party enter the chat: DistroKid. Who is DistroKid and why are payments going through them, Hazel? I hear you ask. Well I'll tell you dear readers:

It is basically a service that takes a yearly fee for putting your music on streaming platforms efficiently and then pockets 0% of the royalties. The royalties go from the streaming services (eg Spotify) to DistroKid who then send it to the rights-holders (in this case, lowave records). lowave records is using this service for a yearly fee to upload all their music through.

But wait! If DistroKid is working with lowave, and lowave owns all the rights, why is DistroKid making direct payments to the content creators?

Well, over the years they have offered a bunch of services:

I am guessing lowave is making use of the teams feature to send royalties owed to content creators ("collaborators") directly from Diskworld, which makes sense, the less people money goes through the less chances of mishandling.

People have of course been talking about what percentage Spotify even pays for many many years. The short answer: we don't know for sure because it is confidential, Spotify won't tell and artists aren't allowed to. The longer answer: people have estimated from a bunch of publically available data that the share seems to be 70-30 (rights-holders- spotify).

However spotify is not paying per stream anymore so that makes these figures harder to pin down. they are using a 'streamshare' system which is much more convoluted:

That was all about the money, now let's talk Licensing

Creators can use this music in any capacity, and do not have to share any of the revenue from their own content with lowave. They have put a stipulation that it may not be used in a way that is "illegal, immoral, discriminatory or derogatory to [lowave]" but what constitutes 'immoral' and 'discriminatory' is not really defined.

The other limitation applies to the contracted Content Creators only as far as I can tell: they are not allowed to remix, sample, or edit these songs without prior permission. This probably only applies to altering the songs and playing under the same name, so fan remixes should not run into issues here, as long as they are not monetised. (thanks kate @goldenpinof for making me think about this part a bit more, I think it should be safe, but even royalty free music cannot be transformed without permission at least in a commercial capacity)

They will also make more music free of cost if the streaming targets they set are being met by the albums produced. The process:

Other services they provide will be handling the creator's account which they set up (DanAndPhilBeats in this case) on streaming platforms and making changes as required, so the Cheeky Banter -> Project X thing was probably done from their end, possibly an older change that they forgot to update?

Also below are promotional obligations:

The promotion wasn't a one-time thing, it is expected to be ongoing, so we will probably be hearing about this in future videos as well. However, later in the partner agreement it is added that this has to be done as often as possible in a way that is "natural and appealing to their audience" which again, is pretty vague wording

Also the licensing goes both ways, so lowave can also use segments of the content DnP make that has the music in the background to promote their music:

Additional stuff from the contract:

lowave takes the guarantee of creating original works that it has the rights to and which do not infringe on copyrights, and the creators likewise take the guarantee not use the songs in content which infringes copyright. If there are any disputes regarding such infringement in the future the record and the creators have to back each other up (including sharing legal fees)

I mentioned before some parts of the agreement being written in vague language. There is also a clause that says if any provision ends up being illegal/not possible to enforce by a court (eg if a court were to it's impossible to say whether content featuring the songs was 'immoral') then only that provision will be removed, the rest of the contract stands.

The waiver part basically means that if any of the parties decide to not sue or forgo a complaint about breach of contract, that does not mean that those provisions are now unavailable, they can still sue later on or for some other breach if they wish.

That's the contracts done. Some of the framing there makes it seem to me like it's a pretty small company. The revenue they hope to generate does not seem to be very sustainable, especially since the revenue is being shared with content creators but the cost is not and they are additionally paying for other services like DistroKid.

So I looked more into this record label: they started business in 2022. If you go to their socials though, twitter and instagram they have followers in double digits and post very sparsely. Their tiktok seems to have nothing on it at all (thanks @lesbiandanhowell for the screenshot) and you may have noticed, Dan did not tag the lowave account at all when he announced the album on twitter

The agreement never mentions creators promoting lowave's social channels or tagging them either (and it is quite odd, I have worked with a bunch of organisations in their infancy and this is, now more than ever, a common requirement from collaborators). lowave records does not seem to be actively working towards promoting themselves on social media or building an online presence, even though they have been operational two years producing music throughout.

There are three people involved with the company on public record:

Benjamin Johnson listed as 'Head of Production' is probably the 'Ben' Dan has been talking about who made the songs. Seems like their scale of operations is not very big and possibly not a lot of producers in the records at all (despite the spotify page saying they have 'producers' plural, but that doesn't have to mean a lot many lol). Anyway, that would solve the mystery of 'how are they playing their employees?' if there aren't many employees to begin with (not even an intern to manage their social media it seems).

Look at the last person in the screenshots though: Robin. I looked at what other companies Robin is associated with and several of them - yeah several different operations that he's involved in - have the same correspondence address of '60 Thorpe Road...', so probably operating out of a ghost office (just to have a registered address and receive mail at etc). And one of these businesses that Robin is associated with is RWD, the business that made lowave records' website for them:

The no-cost production of royalty-free music, little attention to social media presence, vaguely written contract, seemingly small scale of operations with technical assistance like website design coming from an affiliated organisation makes me think that lowave records might be a side project. A labour of love, possibly, hoping to sustain itself enough to keep putting out royalty-free music in a time of extreme crackdown on copyrighted music use.

It makes sense to use content creators for promotion, gets you way more streaming than making your own music and putting it out. And the incentive of unique but guaranteed royalty free music at no cost is great for content creators of all sizes. It is far from sustainable on its own though, especially with streaming revenue being basically peanuts, and I do not think there's much interest in gaining a following or putting in that effort either, so it's probably a very small business by a few people. How long it manages to sustain itself as a project I am not sure, but it certainly isn't looking like something particularly geared towards profit and growth in its current state.

We are at an end! If you read this far, leave me like an A+ or a star for my essay so I can have academic validation from this please. Of course I probably have not covered everything possible in connection to this so if anyone has more info feel free to add on! And if this was all very long and there's something particular you wanted to know you can drop an ask into the inbox about it!

Thank you for coming with me on this journey! Back to the important things, which was your favourite song from the album? I think mine is Arcade Admission

#dnp #dan and phil #dnpgames #dan and phil games #meta #?#all or nothing #lowave records #dan howell #phil lester

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coveholdenmyluv · 7 months ago

Text

Mean Girls - Eren Jaeger

synopsis. Eren's the new kid at Trost Academy and being fresh meat in his senior year isn't easy. Especially so when the only friends he's made yet have managed to convince him to help them mess with "The Plastics". The problem?

He's got the biggest crush on their queen bee, Y/N.

series masterlist.

chapter warnings. Foul language, rich ppl, mentions of vomit, mentions of shitting your pants (what even are these warnings LMAO), laxatives, mentions of giving a character laxatives, hitch is a bitch (I love her I’m sorry I made her like this), drama drama drama, a lot of menstrual product talk (these characters are very comfortable talking abt these things!)

chapter synopsis. From a brawl at the supermarket to a meeting with the Queen bee’s arch nemesis, our trio’s plan preparations seem to be coming together! Though, will learning some lore regarding our resident plastics impede on Eren’s drive? Perhaps the future isn’t looking so bright for our revenge seekers…

chapter 2. Fuck with the Plastics: start

"Bag secured, over." Mikasa spoke in her usual monotone voice.

"And... you're completely sure that this will only make her a bit gassy, right 'kasa?" Armin spoke next, the shake in his voice painfully obvious even through the speaker of Eren's phone. With no answer, he tries again, "Guys? Hello?"

Silence.

"You're supposed to say 'over', Armin!"

"Oh! Over."

"Alright, mine is secured too... over?" Eren announced as he slipped his arm through the plastic bag, doing his best to be inconspicuous, though the hood over his head isn't helping his case. His attire was mostly to calm his troubled conscience.

The three way call had one purpose and a very important one at that.

Phase one of 'Fuck with The Plastics'.

"Good boy," Mikasa purred and Eren swore he could hear the mischievous grin his reply had caused to form on her face. "Now Armin, relax. All this is gonna do is make her tummy a bit upset, a little gas here and there never hurt anyone. She'll get the humiliation she made Eren bear... only much much worse because of her status, plus ruin her chances of winning this highly anticipated game and possibly her entire athletic career. Over."

"Please, stop repeating what could go wrong. I'm getting nauseous again..." Eren groans into the speaker.

"Mikasa, you say that now but, what if she's allergic to it or something? Ohmylanta, what if she dies?!" Armin screeches and Eren fears he may begin to wail soon. "I don't wanna go to jail guys! I can't go back!"

"Geez Louise, Armin." Eren winces as he pulls the phone away from his ear. "My ears are bleeding."

"Oh wait Eren, now that you reminded me, can you get me some pads from the store? My cycle is pretty heavy today." Mikasa asks.

"Uh, T-M-I Mikasa..." Armin mutters as he glances around the student aid center. His portion of contribution to the trio's master plan is arguably the least interesting, though the boy didn't seem to mind. All he was put in charge of was attaining their tickets for the game, which they receive free of charge with their student ID's.

"Mikasa, I'm literally already walking out of the store." Eren says exasperatedly, though his pace has already begun to falter in preparation for his U-turn.

"Well then, go back? If I bleed out all over the bleachers, it's your jacket I'm using to wipe it clean. The ball is in your court."

"Oh my gosh, fine!" Eren relents. "What size?"

"XXL."

Silence reigns over the three, and Eren swears everyone in the supermarket had audibly halted all movements along with them.

"Mikasa, you know damn well..." Armin begins.

"Armin! Shut the hell up, the length helps with my leakage so mind your own business!"

"Zayum, okay geez."

"Wings or no wings?" Eren asks, already having made his way back into the multiple isles freshly restocked.

"Wings, please. I want to be ready for anything." The girl answers ominously.

"I don't even want to know what that means. I'll head back to the academy after I'm done with this, where do you guys want to meet?"

"The restrooms near the cafeteria are right beside the doors that lead to a path straight to the stadium. We can meet there." Armin suggests, already beginning to make his way towards the meeting spot.

"Okay. Actually, since I'm here, do you guys want any snacks for the game?" Eren asks while he grabs a box of fruit roll ups and a bag of hot Cheetos for himself. "How long does a soccer game last?"

"A little under an hour and thirty minutes, and that's if they don't go into over time which they probably will, considering who they're playing against." Mikasa answers, "Oh, and I'll take an oat meal crème pie and a red Gatorade. But! The one with the twistable cap that you can suck on."

"We'll see how long this one will last with what we have planned, though." Armin mutters into the speaker anxiously, "Anyway, I'll take some Skittles, baby Gerber puffs, Teddy Grahams, Hubba Bubba, strawberry Hello Pandas, Scooby-Doo snacks, Gushers, Pirate's Booty-"

Eren hangs up before the other boy could finish, deciding it wasn't worth his weekly allowance.

He had already arrived at the feminine hygiene products aisle by the time Armin had sent him the remaining 27 items on his wishlist for tonight, which Eren promptly ignored. The wall that held most of the menstrual supplies was expanse and slightly intimidating to the teenage boy's eyes, though that was not to say he was taken off guard. Having a close relationship with your mother desensitizes you to a large amount of aspects of womanhood that most immature boys his age would either cringe at or ridicule.

He knows the brand his mother uses is best for absorbing, but they're not the best at being discreet. He wonders which Mikasa would prefer, though he decides that coverage and preventing leakage must have been her priority considering her earlier words. Deciding upon the trustworthy brand he had always picked up on late night pad runs with his mom, he notices how it seems to be the only brand that has yet to be restocked. The one in his hand being the very last one in XXL.

As he turns to leave the isle, a high pitched voice, practically whining curse words, catches his attention. Before he instinctively turns his head towards the sound, he internally prays for there to be no reenactment of his first encounter with Armin, knowing he couldn't bear to handle another stereotypical bully, much less work up the courage to stand up to them once more.

"They don't have that one today, I swear I've looked everywhere!" The, now visible, person speaks into the cell phone clutched to his ear. "I don't know? Does everyone suddenly use the biggest size available? I know you do not need double X."

It seems to be a young boy, perhaps only a few years younger than Eren himself, with messily styled H/C hair and a few piercings adorning his delicate face.

"The one with the purple flowers on the box or the navy blue one with the stars?" The young boy asks, his impatience slowly making its way into his features.

Wait, purple flowers?

Eren's gaze moves back toward the box in his hands and his eyes trace those exact purple flowers printed and plastered smack dab in the center. Though, he knows there are tons of other brands that use matching floral patterns, perhaps this boy was looking for the one with the green background instead of the pink one Eren held.

"The one with the pink box, right?" The boy asks.

Well, perhaps he was searching for the 7 hour wear edition instead of the 8 hour one Eren got for Mikasa. Surely that was the case-

"8 hour version? Do you need to charge it or something, why is there a time limit?"

Certainly he couldn't be looking for the same size, not many people would be as paranoid as Mikasa due to leakage-

"Mm, XXL? Oh, cause of leakage, got it."

Run, that's what Eren needs to do. He knows how far passionate boyfriends would go for their lovers, especially ones as young as the boy he is sharing the aisle with. Kids his age will either pay romantic relationships no heed or take them far too seriously.

Though, before he could pivot in the other direction, the boy ends the call and turns to presumably search for the pink floral box in the size XXL. Coincidentally, the exact box Eren plans to buy.

The last box.

Green meets E/C.

His heart drops to his ass and his arm hastily shields the prized object behind his back as visible sweat forms on his forehead. Though, truly his efforts were all for naught.

Silence follows as the two teenagers hold eye contact, one accompanied with worry creases near his brows and the other with an unamused pout to his lips.

"Those are the last double X they have in stock, aren't they?"

"...Perchance..."

The H/C boy sighs and holds his hands up in surrender. "Look, dude. I come in peace, it's fine. What do I look like to you? Someone who would go batshit over menstrual products?" Eren shakes his head hastily, to which the younger boy agrees. Of course, what was Eren thinking? Incriminating a person who looked to be no older than the age of 15 was not cool on his part.

"You're right, My bad."

Letting any past thoughts flee his mind, Eren resumes his standstill with the stranger, neither seemingly knowing what to do next...

...before the stranger juts a finger behind Eren and exclaims, "Hey, look over there, it's TSwift!"

"What?! Where?!"

Eren was tackled to the ground and landed with a coherent 'oof', the assailant clambering on top of his chest and tugging at his arms to loosen the tight grip on the box that remains in his hands.

"That was a low blow, you psycho! I haven't seen her since I was in fifth grade!" Eren whines as he tries to free himself. Deciding that his actions were amounting to nothing, he thrusts the box away from his body and above his head, the cardboard sliding across the tiled floor of the supermarket.

"Morality is non-existent when it comes to the last box of pads, pretty boy!" The younger boy grits as he abandons Eren's body in favor of stumbling to his feet to reach the box.

As the boy steps over his head, Eren grabs onto one of his leather boots, causing him to plummet with his fingers outstretched only inches away from the prize. Eren flips himself onto his stomach and scrambles over the other boy, laying a palm atop his face to thwart his vision. In retaliation, though not after a sharp squawk, the boy chomps on the fingers overlaid his mouth, causing the brunet to cry out in pain.

"Give up!" The boy demands, "I don't care if I have to bite every one of your fingers off, I'll be leaving with that box!" He declares and delivers a torturous blow to Eren's crotch, causing him to wheeze and topple over in pain. "Aha!" The boy proclaims as he nears his victory, emitting a cry of premature success.

Though, before his slender fingers are able to reach the jackpot, his worst fear is born into existence.

"My Prada boots!" He squeals in agony and fear as Eren holds the cherished shoe above his head triumphantly and a pained smirk creases onto his face. "Don't you dare you monster, they're monolith!"

"You rich people are all the same," Eren scoffs as he throws the boot aways behind him, not sparing a glance in the direction as the boy abandons the box in favor of running over to his beloved shoe. Eren limps over to the pink box and swipes it up with an exhausted sigh escaping his lips. "I win." He states in a cocky tone, taking pride over the brawl he emerged victorious from, already preening at the amount of bragging rights he had just earned himself. "Mikasa, you owe me big time- ack!"

Not without a war cry, the unrelenting stranger rams a shopping cart into Eren's body, forcing the brunet back onto the ground and causing the box to slip out of his grasp and slide onto the floor once again.

"Never mess with my Prada boots again," He heaves and delicately steps over to the abandoned box, taking it into his hold and placing a kiss atop the the printed flowers. "Auggie, you're awesome." He then turns to face Eren and boldly upturns his pierced nose at the sight of the older boy sprawled on the floor. "You put up a good fight, unfortunately for you I reign superio-"

"I didn't hear a bell!" Eren shouts as he springs up and tackles the shorter boy, resulting in the two wrestling on the ground once again, just as they had originally started. Scratching, kicking, and biting their way across the floor, though noticeably making zero progress towards the box they both sought out.

An awkward cough acts as the bucket of cold water that halts their movements, both boys craning their heads in the direction of the sound alike deers in headlights.

An employee that hauled a cart filled to the brim with pink cardboard boxes and printed purple flowers decorating their surfaces stood before their tangled ball of limbs, gifting them a critical stare. Leisurely, and hesitatingly so, she tucks the prized boxes where they belong, before scurrying away with her haul of products stacked into her squeaky cart.

An air of silence follows the departure of the poor retail worker, both boys remaining stunned by the sudden appearance. Though, after realizing what a compromising position they had been caught in, the unraveling of their limbs went unspoken as they stood simultaneously.

Another awkward cough, though this one originating from the brunet, filled the vacant space between the two. Eren grabs ahold of one of the boxes that was recently stocked, his head hanging low in embarrassment. "So..." He utters hesitatingly.

The younger boy clears his throat, "M sry." He mutters.

"What?"

"I said I'm sorry! ...I know that Tswift joke was wrong of me."

Eren sighs in resignation, now realizing how idiotic his actions were, especially considering the fact that he seemed to be the older of the two. "It's fine. I guess we were both signed up for errand boy today, huh?"

The stranger shook his head, "Yeah but, to be honest, this is my first time going on a pad run for my sister. I wasn't 'old enough' a few years ago, and even then we don't usually do our own shopping. Our butler handles all of that."

"Oh..." It was stupid of Eren to forget that most people in his city were lathered in riches, but he did. His recent encounter with this new boy only furthered his forgetfulness, because what sort of opulent teenage boy was willing to engage in a full out brawl for a box of pads? "Well, either way. I'm guessing these aren't for you?"

"Nah, they're for my sister's friends. But, she can get pretty impatient real quickly and I'm not in the mood to deal with teenage Godzilla. She'd probably run me over with her convertible."

The mental image of Godzilla driving a convertible, only to then run over an edgy teen made Eren chuckle, "I get it, this size seems to be in high demand."

"My sister says that it's because of leakage, whatever the hell that means. I don't even think I want to know."

Eren smiled sympathetically, little brother ignorance was something he knew about all too well. "So, why are you here instead of your butler? I think I would have stood a better chance against him if I'm being honest."

The boy shrugs nonchalantly, "She says it's an emergency. Those girls can get pretty scary when in a state of panic. For being older than me, you'd think they'd be better at dealing with stress."

"I understand completely." Eren huffed in exhaustion, "My friends and I are dealing with these real popular kids at our school, we've got an ulterior motive of course, but we've seen a fair share of their antics and I can tell we'll have our hands full. At least the pay off will be worth it. We have a whole plan and everything."

The boy cackled a laugh that shook his whole body and clapped a palm onto the older boy's shoulder, "You don't say? What's such a good prize worth dealing with what seems to be a bunch of rich maggots eating away at your soul?" He asked.

"Well, it has to do with this girl..." Eren begun to attempt to elucidate the entire situation to this stranger but in the end only arrived with stutters, before he decided that the effort of reliving his trauma was not worth it. He sighed, "It's a long story."

Unexpectedly, a highly pitched rendition of 'I'm Just a Kid' began to chime in the stranger's pants, causing him to wince and groan in annoyance. "A story that I can't stay for, unfortunately." He muttered before slipping the device out of his pocket. "It's Godzilla." He confirmed his suspicions but made no moves to accept the call. Instead, he offered a jeweled hand towards the brunet.

This hand wasn't like the one that was offered to him earlier today. Instead of diamonds and gold, silver and various colored stones wrapped around this boy's digits, crowning them with luxury and status.

"My name's Augustine, but you can call me August." He paired with a friendly grin, bringing attention to the silver lip ring hung on his bottom lip.

For some reason, this boy struck something within Eren. He didn't know what it was, but there was a sense of reminiscence flooding his senses when he stared at his smile. The reminiscence that creeps up on you when you look at your sibling and recognize that the shirt they have on is in fact not theirs but yours.

He can't put his finger on it... but August reminded him of someone.

Nonetheless, he excepted his dressed hand with his own bare one. "Eren, it's just Eren."

"Alright, just Eren. I have to go, but hopefully I'll see you around!" August called out as he scampered down the aisle before Eren could have gotten another word of parting out.

What a nice guy, Eren hopes to see him again.

After grabbing the snacks that his newest friends had ordered, promptly ignoring 25 items on Armin's list, he pays the nice woman working the register and makes his departure. By the time he steps back on the pavement, the sun has begun its decent, painting the concrete buildings and vibrant trees in a golden hue.

Trost truly is a beautiful district — the architecture alone places it on a superior level when compared to many other extravagant districts out there.

Eren himself has never lived the kind of life that his new friends or acquaintances were born into. Although having a successful doctor for a dad, it was never an aspect that had ever brought upon wealth for the Jeager family. His mom rapidly rising in her fashion designer career is what has brought him to such a district as this one. Mrs. Jaeger is well on her way to being known for her individuality, and he couldn't be filled with more pride.

Having to leave his old school was pretty easy for him, he had never had many friends there anyway. Sure there were the few he could greet in the hallways, but none that had ever willingly stricken a genuine conversation with him, much less an interesting one. Though, that's not to say the experience of moving out of the blue in your senior year was something he was excited about either, that wouldn't be a nice time for anyone.

It was just his luck that he'd already made a fool out of himself on his very first day. In front of his crush to boot.

Y/N Ackerman.

He wouldn't lie to himself and proclaim that he has no feelings towards the girl. He quite literally puked on her because the amount of emotions she made him feel at a single glance proved to be overbearing to his body. Though, a portion of himself finds itself conflicted. Actually, scratch that - multiple portions of himself find themselves conflicted. As if the little people in his head are arguing against each other, and he isn't sure which side he should be on.

On one hand, the purple person that he decides to name Armeen is arguing that he should hate the girl. Mikasa said that Y/N had surely made it her goal to embarrass Eren in an attempt to solidify her superiority against him and that she was a vicious person with the ugliest soul she had ever seen.

On another, the red person, Mika Mika, proclaimed that he already hates her. Armin and Mikasa have informed him of her vile friends, the people she willingly surrounds herself with. She condones their actions by mere association. Not to mention the absolute joke she had made of him, which was sure to have cost him a year's worth of ill-repute. Hell, probably even the rest of his soon to be miserable life.

But then, as if he had grown a sudden third hand, there appeared a pink person. This one unnamed, whispered details the other two would surely never approve of. How could she be a vicious person, when she had went out of her own way to not only invite him, but his only friends, to her highly anticipated game AND her own home, knowing that everyone in their grade had heard the abrupt invitation? She was willingly attempting to help him fix his image. How could the person those little people in his head describe as ruthless and callous, ever make his insides light on fire, as if he was a skewered rotisserie chicken on a white Sunday morning? How could the devil herself bring upon him feelings only talked about in movies?

Manipulation.

Gaslighting someone to their wits' end by batting her fluffy lashes. It's an old tactic really, but one that would never die out, nor could it. Eren isn't stupid, he knows the truth of the situation. How dire a messy set up like this could have affected her reputation as well, he gets it. Understands that measures need to be taken to prevail through such a trying time. When you're at the top, tiptoeing a razors edge, everyone at the bottom has a clear shot to shoot you down. Those mean comments and accusations of prejudice are just the paint strokes crafting a precise target onto her back.

But, to bring him and his friends into her little scheme?

To escape that threat, you need to move, and to move, you need stepping stones. Eren won't let himself or his friends be used as stepping stones.

That's exactly the reason why the three of them have developed a plan to knock her off of her prodigious throne. No longer will they allow the Queen Bee of Trost Academy to continue her reign of exploitation.

Instead, she will... shit her pants?

Well, that's the best they could come up with, so it'll have to do.

It was simple in nature really, Eren simply needed to buy her a drink, one that Mikasa claims has always been her favorite pick to drink before a game, though Eren still questions how she even had that information, and then he will offer that said drink to her as a peace offering.

A seemingly innocent gesture, except it's not. Mikasa was in charge of acquiring laxatives which they would infuse into the refreshment, which Y/N would drink and whatever happened next would be left up to fate. Though, Armin had elucidated three paths that which this plan could take.

Probability 1: She'd harbor a stomach ache, forcing her to be benched due to her poor performance, effectively eliminating the captain of Trost's varsity soccer team. Ruining her image, their chances of winning their vital game of the year, and her life.

Probability 2: She'd fart up a storm, or worse, ruining her image of the ideal senior of the year, their chances of winning their vital game of the year, and her life.

Probability 3: She'd pull an Eren and projectile vomit all over her teammates and opponents. Ruining her stellar image, their chances of winning their vital game of the year, and her life.

The third was preferred for their goal of seeking revenge, but they wouldn't complain if either of the other two played out perfectly.

"Finally, Eren! You took so long, we started to wonder if you had gotten lost on the way here." Armin says as the boy approaches their meeting spot.

"I did, three times. There is no need for this school to be so damn huge."

"Well, you're here now so..." Mikasa surreptitiously looks over her shoulder and then Eren's, "You got the goods?" She asks.

"Stop acting shifty Mikasa, you're making me nervy." Eren rebukes, eyes glancing from side to side in paranoia.

"Do you have it or not." She exasperatedly asks. He timidly ushers the plastic bag her way, his back moving to obstruct the exchange from any prying eyes. "Good boy, keep me covered and I'll crush these bad boys and then pour them in."

"Hurry 'Kasa, I don't wanna go to jail!" Armin's nerves get the best of him, and just as Mikasa began to pour the laxatives into the energy drink, his trembling palms latch onto her shoulders and begin to shake her back and forth. Unfortunately, the forcible motions cause her hand to slip and pour more than what was necessary for what they had planned. "Oops..." He breathes.

Eren's jaw drops at the amount, "Holy shit, are you- are you sure that's okay?" A dramatic gasp forcibly rasps his throat, "She's not actually gonna die, right?!"

"Uhm... no... I don't think so."

"What do you mean, you don't think so?!" He screeches.

"Ohmygosh,we'regoingtojailI'mnotbuiltforthatimgonnadie-"

"Armin, chill." Mikasa grits, before twisting the cap of the bottle and giving it a good shake. "She'll be fine, we're not going to jail. All that'll change is the addition of one more possibility, which is shitting her pants for real."

"I thought we were only joking about that? You mean she'll actually shart herself?" Eren asks.

"Yeah," Mikasa declares with no amount of remorse in her irises, simply tilting her head to face him head on, smirk standing proud on her lips. "Even better than we planned, right? Give the bitch the humiliation she deserves."

After a moment of maintaining arduous eye contact with the ravenette, Eren relents, throwing his head back to stare at the ceiling instead and interlocking both hands in his shaggy hair. "You're crazy. Like deadass, you belong in a mental hospital."

"Okay but, wait. The bottle is already open, no one who has a right mind would accept an already opened drink from someone she met yesterday." Armin points out, ever the observer.

"Well, she's gonna have to in order for this plan to work..." Mikasa mumbles, lips pursing in thought. "Oh, Eren! Why don't you be a doll and offer to open it for her, that way she wouldn't even notice it has already been open." She announces with a proud nod, clearly impressed with her solution.

Eren however, isn't as impressed. If anything, the pit in his stomach twists and turns even tighter, bringing forth creases onto the surface of his skin as his face lightly scrunches in disgust. Playing a direct hand in the demise of anyone's athletic career can be catastrophic to the psyche, though he doubts Mikasa's is being affected much if at all.

"Fine."

"Good boy-"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Anyway, we should get going now. Or else, we'd be late. The game starts in 20 minutes, and the walk there is about five, give or take. Though, the introductions take up a good 10 to 15." She ignores the boy.

"Plus, we still need to find seats. Hopefully we won't have to sit on the opposing team's side, or else we'd be royally fucked." Armin adds as they exit the school building.

The pathway that leads them directly towards the stadium is beautiful and cleanly. The school itself is exceptionally cared for, with vibrant green bushes that looked as if they were clipped with the utmost precision. Marbled vases for various other plants and polished benches littered across the lawn oozed a luxurious aura.

"Who are they playing against?" Eren asks.

"I think it's Stohess Prep." Armin answers.

"Oh, that means drama~" Mikasa adds, "10 bucks Levi chokes out Coach Nile?"

"Mm, nah. 20 bucks it's Ymir and Hitch." Armin replies, pointer finger prodding at the fat of his cheek in thought.

"Oh, I forgot about those two. 30 Y/N is forced to step in either way."

"40 bucks she joins."

"50 that they recreate that one Euphoria scene from season 2."

"60 someone yells plus ultra."

"70 bucks Y/N gets hit by a bus and dies."

"..."

"Okay, you need an exorcist." Armin quips.

"I've been wondering, why do you hate her so much? There's gotta be history you're not telling me." Eren asks the girl.

It was true, he can feel the animosity she seemingly reigns in 24/7 and he wonders if it was at all reciprocated. Though, he has the feeling that it's heavily one sided.

"Mikasa and Y/N-"

"Armin, shut it." The girl grits before her friend could have thought to utter the remainder of his statement.

Eren groans, "Armin, don't shut it. Open it. Open it wide."

"Don't word it like that, Eren..."

"I just don't see the point," Mikasa admits, though her face was telling to how difficult the situation seems to be for her, "What's in the past should be left there, why open up that can of worms?"

"I don't know if you've noticed, but it's pretty damn obvious that those worms have been out for a while now. You don't think I've noticed how personal this seems to be for you?" Eren rebuts.

"Oh, and I'm not supposed to notice how personal this is for you? As in, more than just some revenge brought upon by petty high school humiliation?" She challenges, and her piercing gaze bore into Eren's own. "You've made your little crush pretty obvious, the addition of this information might change more than you think it would, Eren."

"Who I have a crush on is none of your business. Besides, yeah, I'll admit I'm not blind, I can tell Y/N is an attractive girl. You can't blame me for admitting so, but a silly little school crush is just a silly little school crush at the end of the day. I don't get how your past with her had anything to do with something as minuscule as that."

Mikasa's arms crossed before her chest in frustration, and she kept her head forward, not relenting at unsealing her lips. Though, Armin, being placed in the middle of both teens, hates being a quiet middleman.

"Y/N and Mikasa are cousins." He blurts.

Eren's jaw drops, "What?!" His fingers thread through his hair once again, this time gripping at the roots because what the actual fuck. "You're fucking with me, right?"

Armin shakes his head vehemently, "Deadass. They even have the same last name! You'd have never guessed, right?"

"Well, not really. Like, at all."

"Trust me, I wish it wasn't true either." Mikasa sighs.

Eren's arms flail before him defensively, "No! It's not that I wish it weren't true, it's just that it's hard to believe considering how you guys are like polar opposites. I mean she's so... y'know-" He awkwardly shrugs his shoulders, expecting the action to speak the words he couldn't find in himself to utter out loud. "And you're... y'know..."

Armin coughs, "Emo."

"I'm not emo! As a matter of fact, I'm not even a goth, contrary to popular belief. I'm just edgy, how hard is it to look up, people?!"

"...what's the difference?"

"Oh, shut up, Armin! That's why your balls haven't dropped!"

"You promised you wouldn't bring that up anymore!"

"Armin, your balls haven't dropped?"

"Oh, look! We're here!"

As Eren looked before them, he was met with the front of an impressive industrialized soccer stadium. The words 'Home of the Scouts' were engraved above the entrance in proud bold letters. He notices that they are currently standing in the middle of the massive parking lot, containing multiple first class busses bearing the titles 'Stohess Stallions'.

Guessing that those belong to the opposing team, and that team was no where to be found, Eren concludes that both teams must be inside already. Which begs the question, how late is this trio?

"You're in the way."

Eren nearly jumps out of his skin at the sudden stern voice, and the freight was not limited to himself. Armin squeaks and hides behind his two friends, using them as human shields, though Mikasa simply whips around with a nasty scowl at her face because, who would have the audacity?

Oh, that's who.

"Hitch." She grits.

Coming face to face with a group of girls clad in forest green shorts and jersey's, though their matching team jackets obscured the latter, was intimidating, to say the least. The one standing with the most pride, right at the front and center, wore a smug smirk on her face that her short and wavy dirty blonde hair framed beautifully.

"Well, well, well, would you look at who we have here." She drawls with a laugh. "This is such an interesting trio you guys have going on."

"Mikasa who is this, and why did she come up to us like an anime villain?" Eren whispers towards the ravenette.

"Just our luck." The girl mutters under her breath, not at all a just answer in Eren's eyes, but he was not about to voice his thoughts.

The stranger eyeballs Eren in a way that a certain Ackerman did just a few hours earlier in the day, though this time it did not have him weak in the knees, instead an eerie shiver ran down the length of his spine and caused him to gulp down a yelp.

"Come lookin' for a barf bag, new kid?" She decides to single him out directly, "You know, it's almost funny. I always have the same reaction you did when I see Ackerman as well! I don't blame you, hell, I'd even praise you if it wasn't so disgustingly embarrassing." She jests. "You are new aren't ya? Man, the balls you must have to pull that stunt on your very first day. Oh, the look on her face was enough to have me in tears, I've got to tell you."

"It wasn't on purpose." He mumbles with an eye roll.

"Oh, be careful Hitch. You'll make him mad and we just had our jerseys dry cleaned." Comes a voice from beside her, one of her teammates presumably. This draws out many more chuckles from the group of girls, causing Eren's cheeks to heat up from the jab at his poor stomach.

That voice, low but smooth, causes both Armin and Mikasa to stiffen, as if they had recognized it.

"No way..." Armin mutters, his eyes widening in surprise as the owner of the voice made herself visible.

Another blonde, though this one a paler tone, with glacial blue eyes and a sloped nose emerged from the group, a large bag slung over her shoulders and purple cleats hanging from her fingers.

She had an aura about her, one familiar to Eren. One that wrapped itself around every throat and forced the people around her to pay her heed.

"You're right, Annie. Coach would bench us if we happened to sully them and he can't afford to bench his star players." Hitch agrees, though her eyes are not on her apparent teammate. Instead, they seemed to be inspecting Armin and Mikasa's faces, clearly amused by their starstruck expressions.

"Kasa, do something..." Armin whispers.

"What do you want me to do, hex her?"

"Mikasa, long time no see." Annie continues. It seems that the two know each other, perhaps they are old friends? What a heartwarming reunion. "How's it feel living in your cousins shadow?"

Or, perhaps not.

Mikasa's eyes darken and she begins to fumble in her bag for a pair of scissors, "I quite like the shadows, it gives me a place to properly plan your downfall. Maybe even your murder."

Hitch gasps and feigns a frightened expression, "Oh shiver me timbers, small emos are so scary."

"I'll show you scary cunt-"

"Hey hey hey! What's going on here?" Connie unexpectedly appears from behind the trio, his arms making their way around their shoulders. "You guys will be late if you keep loitering around."

"You could never be Bokuto." One of the girls murmur.

"Oh, Connie, I'm so glad you're here. Bend down a little will you? I feel like I have something stuck in my teeth." Hitch jests as she rubs a finger across her pearly whites.

"Aha, funny." Connie grits, "Hey, how's Marlowe by the way? I imagine he's better since he left you for, who was it again?" He asks with a false pensive look.

"Her mom." Armin declares with a proud grin.

The girl clenches her jaw and scowls, "Fuck you, Connie. Isn't yours chilling upside down on a roof?"

"Wrong AU, hitch."

"At least my hair doesn't make me look like I call corporate." Connie retorts.

"Yeah, well at least-"

"Hitch, we don't have time for this." Annie interrupts, holding her wrist out and allowing her teammate to glance at her watch... is that a Rolex? "We still need to warmup."

Eren doesn't think he has ever seen Connie's eyes darken as much as they did then, shooting daggers at the blonde on par with the ones Mikasa fires at her cousin. "You finally decide to talk, Annie?" He calls the girl out.

Without even sparing him a glance, she states a monotone, "I have nothing to say to you." And walks away from the group in pursuit for the entrance.

Following her departure, Hitch scowls at the fact that she too should follow. "Whatever, I'll save my energy for your little friends on the field. You better watch your captain, it'd be a shame if she forgets her place and mysteriously finds herself on her knees where she belongs."

"Don't dish out what you can't take." Connie asserts.

The girl simply rolls her eyes, "Let's go." She says and takes her leave, taking her army of followers along with her.

"Saweetie did it better!" Armin yells after her, to which Mikasa agrees and waves her hand daintily at the group.

"Man, you are having the worst of luck today, aren't you, Eren?" Connie says with a guffaw.

Eren groans and holds his head in his hands. "Trust me, I know."

"I'm surprised you held your own, Connie. Considering that was literally Annie... and she's with Stohess." Mikasa says.

The boy sighs, "Yeah, I know. Fortunately, Reiner found out yesterday, so we weren't as blind sided. Though, we still haven't told the team, and that's been a topic of discourse amongst a couple of our friends." He answers, and the pained expression on his face almost forces Eren to feel sorry for him.

Almost.

Shaking his head lightly to disperse his frown, he instead returns his attention towards the brunet once again. "Anyway, don't worry about Hitch. She's always like that. It's petty school rivalry shit that we used to have with Marley till they shut that school down. Now Stohess thinks they need to step up and claim the spot as our rivals." He explains, though Eren laughs at the ridiculousness of his joke.

They're in high school, clearly it wouldn't actually be that serious, right?

Why is Eren the only one laughing?

"No literally, look." Connie says and juts a finger towards the busses they had spotted earlier. Eren hadn't spotted it before, but right under the school name seemed to be the words, 'Trost Academy rivals! Fuck Marley and Fuck Trost!'

"Oh..." Eren utters breathily, "We're too old for this shit."

"Anyway, we should really get going or else we won't find good seats." Armin ushers his friends with his hands.

"Oh!" Connie exclaims with a newfound grin, one that Eren thinks fits him better than his previous frown. "Don't worry about your seats, you can come chill with us. We've already saved some for you guys."

Armin gasps dramatically and his eyes nearly bulge out of his skull. "Y-you mean, your VIP section? We get to sit in VIP?!" He screeches. Even Mikasa seems taken aback, her jaw slack and her brows hiding behind her bangs, though she didn't dare voice it.

"Yup! Though I had no idea it was called that, Sasha is gonna freak when I tell her!" The teen buzzes with anticipation. "I'll lead the way, come on."

As they begin to follow him, Eren leans into Armin's ear to ask, "Why are they called the VIP seats?"

Armin sputters, "Why else, Eren? They're the best seats in the stadium. The plastics are the only ones to ever use the space, but today we're making history."

"We haven't even told you about the rest of their clique." Mikasa adds.

"The rest? There're more than the eight we've talked about?"

"Oh Eren... there are levels to this shit, okay? Not to mention, lore." Armin says whilst his fingers wiggle before Eren's face to build suspense.

"For instance, remember Annie from earlier? The blondie with blue eyes and a tongue as sharp as a dagger?" Mikasa asks.

"Yeah?"

"Well, she might not act like it, but she's a retired plastic."

"What? You mean she attended Trost at one point? Also, you can retire? Why would she retire?"

"She didn't just attend Trost, she was a founding member of the plastics. A true OG. She helped run our halls. In fact, I'd go as far to say that she was once closer to Y/N than Jean has ever been." Armin said.

"Then, what would make her willingly give that up?"

"Something so simple and obvious, yet achingly torturous that you wouldn't help but sympathize with her. Especially someone like you, wearing your heart on your sleeve like that." Mikasa lightly jabs at her friend.

"Just tell me, 'kasa. I'm not as soft hearted as you think I am." Eren grumbles.

"Unrequited love."

Eren's breath catches in his throat at her words, for he couldn't believe what she was implying. "W-what? You're telling me..."

"Yup," Armin decides to finish his sentence, "We're not sure which way it went or how exactly it went down, but...

One of those girls loved the other far deeper than just mere friendship."

Taglist: @idreamitski @str4wberrylover @jesus-son-of-god @hoejosblindfold @caycaysblogg @simpingmyassoff @youatemylollipop @enouche @longestline [comment to be added, dm to be removed!]

A/N: im sorry this took so long, its shorter than the last but twice as long as my first draft 😟

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colfy-wolfy · 3 months ago

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more anthro AU but it's on wb

(I have campaign name headcanons for unnamed slugcats)

some more info yapping about the AU under cut

This is an anthro and modern AU and mainly focused on the slugcats

Still figuring things out about this au so maybe I could write a few fun oneshots of it in the future. suggestions and ideas are welcome.

Ages AT THE EARLIEST;

Residual (3rd sib) is 2

Monk is 10

Survivor is 11

Coral (pink dad) is 32

Ivory (white dad) is 34

Gourmand is 46

Hunter is 22

more slugcats will come soon

(this au has different timelines so depending on the event, they can all be older. listed ages are the ages in the beginning of the au and are just so you can get an idea of all their ages compared to one a other)

Schools aren't stupid in this au, there are no grades or tests. you just go to the building and choose whatever classes you wanna go to whenever you want (within the teachers' schedule). that doesn't stop the kids from comparing their skills with eachother though. I did this because school was a very horrible experience for me growing up but I didn't wanna completely eradicate education in this au.

Gourmand is a Culinary teacher and Monk is their best student. Monk is a vegetarian by choice (in the sense that they do not eat most meats. they still enjoy other animal products and insects) and has interests in cooking and creatures. They're very social and makes friends with almost anyone.

I don't have any ideas for hunter. don't ask why they have a suit, I just wanted to draw them dapper lol

Not sure how I can implement iterators into this au if I even should in the first place.

#rain world #fanart #slugcat #anthro slugcat #rw au #rw survivor #rw monk #rw hunter #rw gourmand #rw third sibling #rw salsa rosa #my art

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ghelgheli · 10 months ago

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Contemporary utopians only consider the efficiency and the abundance of goods and services without sufficiently taking into account the qualitative and material side of production, that is, the autonomy and independence of workers and the sustainability of the natural environment. Their vision of an economy of abundance based on market-driven innovations ends up reinforcing the real subsumption under capital and easily turns into the means of further expropriation from nature and surveillance over workers. Since alienation of work cannot be overcome in this way, fully automated post-capitalism propagates an alternative hope that everyone keeps driving electronic SUVs, changing smartphones every two years and eating cultured meat hamburgers. Such a vision of the luxury future obviously sounds attractive to many people in the Global North because ecological modernization assures them that they do not need to change anything about their extravagant lifestyle. This kind of abundant future appeals to the satisfaction of people's immediate desires without challenging the current imperial mode of living in the Global North. The problem is, however, that such a vision accepts too uncritically existing value-standards and consumerist ideals. It ends up reproducing the social relations marked by oppression, inequality and exploitation that are inherent to capitalism.

Paradoxically, hidden under the optimistic tone of this technocratic vision is actually a pessimistic 'capitalist realism' that holds that there is no strong class struggle to challenge the existing social relations and to fundamentally detach from the capitalist mode of living. People are deprived of the power to transform the system, and this is why technology must play a central role to fill the void left by agency. In fact, this transformation can be implemented without strong social movements, and its promise of a comfortable life appear attractive. Such a productivist vision of post-capitalism ends up endorsing capitalist value- standards under the guise of a grandiose emancipatory project for infinite production and consumption. It gives up the revolutionary subjectivity of the working class and accepts the reified agency of machines as the subject of history.

Kohei Saito, Marx In The Anthropocene

#reading #kohei saito

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greatbigbellies · 7 months ago

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The McPreggo Menu (6/09/24 update)

While I by no means came up with the McPreggo concept, I am a very big fan of it, so I wrote up a hypothetical menu for fun! This menu got a surprising amount of attention and I received a bunch of suggestions for future items. So here, I’ve implemented more of them and given the menu another content update! I tried to fit as many ideas as I could, but if I missed yours, send another anon and I’ll work it in next time! Full menu under the cut!

Every item can be ordered individually or in a combo! Numbered combos come with your choice of a side, and a drink! Different sides have different effects, try them all! [Items suggested anonymously have a ~ with a link to their originating ask]

#1 The McPreggo Burger

The original filler-upper! Carry a singleton in minutes with this mouth watering single quarter pound patty cheeseburger, with tomatoes, lettuce, diced onion, pickles, and your choice of sauces!

#2 The Twinner

Twice as filling, twice as heavy, go full term with twins with TWO quarter pound patties, with cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, diced onion, pickles, and your choice of sauces!

#3 The Triple Stack

Sensing a pattern? Go big with triplets, with three whole quarter pound patties (That’s 12 oz of meat!) with cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, diced onion, pickles, and your choice of sauces! (Warning, Doctor’s note required for purchase)

#4 The Breaded Babymaker

A mouth watering crispy chicken sandwich topped with lettuce and mayo, on a sesame seed bun! 50/50 odds for a singleton or twins!

#5 The Labor-Inducer

Well… not QUITE real labor, but this breaded chicken sandwich packs a spicy kick with pepper sauce, knocks you up with one, and causes regular braxton-hicks for the duration of the food-induced pregnancy! Those those who enjoy a more intense experience!

#6 The Twinner Chicken Dinner

Three breaded and fried chicken strips, worth a trimester each! Each strip takes you up one trimester with twins, with each basket linked to a set of twins, so no fear going overdue by eating more than one serving!

#7 The Fish Filet Sandwich~

A tasty fish filet with light breading, with cheese and tartar sauce! Induces a singleton pregnancy with safe-but-noticeable polyhydramnios, giving extra amniotic fluid!

#8 The Quad Pod

A meal for the truly brave, comes with a double cheeseburger (The Twinner) and three chicken strips (The Twinner Chicken Dinner) to land you full of quadruplets at 40 weeks if fully consumed! (Warning, Doctor’s note required for purchase)

#9 The Family Feast Not a feast for a family, but a feast to help you MAKE one! A Triple Stack, A Breaded Babywaker, and a Twinner Chicken Dinner, to land you full of 6-7 babies, all at full term! Not for the feint of heart! (Warning, Doctor’s note and signed waiver required for purchase)

The Preggo Pizza (suggested by @mybigbellyluvrz) A new way to enjoy a McPreggo food induced pregnancy, and a great way to share the experience with friends! Each slice will induce a quantum pregnancy at 20 weeks along, with a second slice bringing it to term. Odd slices add additional babies, and even slices bring them to term. Pairs well with mozzarella sticks with marinara for a nice long Italian-food-centric impregnation session! Toppings give additional effects which increase in strength with more slices eaten! Enjoy a pregnant pizza party, or indulge yourself with high order multiples for one!

Pepperoni - +5% movement per slice

Sausage - +4% weight per slice

Canadian bacon - +4% belly width per slice

Bbq chicken - +10% stretchmark visibility per slice

Pineapple - +15% stronger cravings per slice

Peppers - +5% belly length per slice

Olives - +7.5% amniotic fluid per slice

Mushrooms - 3% lower belly per slice

Extra cheese - +5% thicker thighs, hips, and ass per slice

Breakfast (ALL DAY!)

Hash Brown

Crispy outside, soft potato-y inside. Warm morning goodness! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly drop as if full term and close to birth!

Ready-To-Pop Tarts~

Our most versatile product, each Ready-To-Pop Tart is named after the quantum baby it induces, and results in a 1-to-1 pregnancy experience as if you were carrying that baby at full term! Each name has its effects listed on the box, such as extra size, carrying low, specific cravings, and so on! Mix and match to carry multiples and craft your perfect pregnancy! Or, try a mystery unlabeled one and see who YOU get pregnant with!

Each location has a unique selection, but here are some of our franchise-wide staples~:

Percy

Carry low and wide with extra baby weight, belly width, and a dropped baby! You’ll want to unbutton pants if you’re wearing them…

Hilda

Enjoy some asymmetry with a pronounced, lopsided torpedo belly! 50/50 odds if she picks left or right, but she’ll stick to it for the whole ordeal!

Adair

Clear your pantry with cravings for sweet and salty flavors, increased taste sensation, and extra movement to enjoy while eating!

Kayla

Stretch your skin to the limit with polyhydramnios, extra baby weight, extra stretchmarks, and extra veins for good measure! Be the waddling definition of “drum tight”!

Sausage Egg Muffin

A toasted english muffin housing a breakfast sausage patty, and a folded scrambled egg! A morning classic! If eaten before other McPreggo products, will delay the onset of those products by 1 hour per breakfast sandwich. Additional sandwiches will increase the duration of the delay. Delay timer begins after full consumption of the breakfast sandwich.

Bacon Egg Griddle

Crispy strips of bacon, folded scrambled egg, between two delicious maple flavored griddles! If eaten before other McPreggo products, will cause effects of those products to onset over time instead of instantly. Each sandwich consumed causes effects to onset over the course of 30 minutes, with additional griddles slowing the onset further. Cannot slow an onset to be longer than the base pregnancy duration.

The Baby Burrito

A breakfast burrito for those who are early-risers, this morning meal has scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, melted cheese, and tater tots, wrapped in a warm flour tortilla. Gives you a singleton at 20 weeks along!

SPECIAL LIMITED TIME ITEMS

These items are only available for small windows of time, and don't interact with our other products due to their unique nature. They’re a big commitment, but provide a very genuine experience. For customers looking for something that takes more dedication than a standard combo meal.

The McCrib~

A special BBQ rib sandwich, only available during the first month of even numbered years. Slow cooked rib meat slathered in BBQ sauce, the McCrib answers the question of “what if humans could properly fully develop in the womb, rather than being born at just 9 months?”. Comparative to most other species, humans give birth very prematurely so that the baby can be safely delivered. McPreggo quantum babies aren’t ever birthed, allowing us to see what life would be like otherwise. Upon consuming a full McCrib, the customer starts on a 21 month pregnancy, spanning 7 trimesters, and allowing the quantum baby to grow to the size and weight of a one year old, with all the challenges and experiences that come with that. A slow burn experience, this pregnancy will include increased weight, size, and strength of the baby inside, finally reaching its apex after almost 2 years of uninterrupted pregnancy. It should be noted that McCrib pregnancies do not stack with each other, so only a singleton may be carried for 21 months. However, other McPreggo products will still function independently, meaning that additional temporary babies may be added, though baby altering effects from items such as the chicken nuggets, will have no effect on the McCrib baby.

The Beastly Burger

An extra large McPreggo burger stacked high with toppings, slathered in a unique “Monster Sauce”, and only sold annually during october. Initiates a 9 month long “anomalous pregnancy”, where the eater becomes pregnant with a mysterious, monstrous entity! Featuring many mouths, eyes, tentacles, and other fun additions that can be felt on the inner walls of the womb! Squirmy and active, it’ll make for a highly engaging and invigorating pregnancy! Will not interact with other McPreggo products, though they can be enjoyed in tandem. (Warning: unusual belly blemishes and strange cravings may occur)

The Festive Feast (Concept By @caitdrawsstuff2)

A unique seasonal item, sold annually during the month of december! A platter of roasted ham, sides of green beans, mashed potatoes, stuffing (with cranberry sauce), a warm roll, and a tall glass of sparkling apple cider (available in a limited time McPreggo branded reusable holiday cup)! Upon completion, initiates a singleton pregnancy which, for the next 12 days, every 24 hours, adds another baby to the consumer’s womb, resulting in full sized DUODECAPLETS by the end. If carrying twelve babies at once wasn’t enough, beginning with the first baby and repeating with each addition, the pregnancy will also incur one of 12 effects. The order of these effects is completely random, meaning only extraordinary lucky patrons will experience the same Festive Feast pregnancy twice.

The possible effects include: +15% extra baby weight, +20% stronger baby activity, +35% brighter stretchmark visibility, +12.5% additional belly length, +12.5% additional belly width, +75% craving and appetite strength, noticeable polyhydramnios, +25% vein visibility, +25% belly skin sensitivity, +12.5% hip width, Popped bellybutton, and 35% darker linea nigra. Effects cannot repeat during a single Festive Feast pregnancy. Will fully stack effects with other McPreggo products, but will continue to progress even after other items wear off. Whole Festive Feasts cannot stack. Festive Feasts are also sold frozen upon request, allowing them to be taken and enjoyed at home! It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

Sides

Fries

Crispy, salty yukon gold fries! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly lower and longer, resulting in a torpedo belly! Watch where you point that thing! (Small: +5% belly length, Medium: +7.5% belly length, Large: +10% belly length. Belly height will vary. Percentages are approximate.)

Tater Tots

Crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly wider at the sides, resulting in a beach ball belly. Look pregnant from behind too! (Small: +5% belly width, Medium: +7.5% belly width, Large: +10% belly width. Roundness will vary. Percentages are approximate.)

Onion Rings

Ring segments of onion, battered and fried! What’s not to love? If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly’s skin a little tighter, resulting in more stretchmarks and visible veins! Look at those tiger stripes! (Small: +15% stretchmark visibility, Medium: +25% stretchmark visibility, Large: +35% stretchmark visibility. Percentages are approximate.)

Mozzarella Sticks

Breaded and deep fried sticks of mozzarella cheese! Warm and soft, with a great cheese pull! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will extend the effects of an active food-based pregnancy by 90 minutes per stick eaten! Comes in a 4 piece, 6 piece, or 8 piece!

Fried Pickle Chips

A staple with pregnant people, breaded slices of pickle, salted and fried to perfection. If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase the strength of pregnancy cravings when consumed! (Small: +20% craving strength, Medium: +40% craving strength, Large: +60% craving strength. Percentages are approximate.)

Chicken Nuggets~

A staple, back and heavier than ever! A 6 piece nugget with your choice of dipping sauce! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase the weight of babies by 2% per nugget! Careful! That adds up faster than you’d expect!

Spicy Chicken Nuggets

Made with a breading that brings the heat, rile up your cargo with this delicious side! A 6 piece spicy nugget comes with your choice of dipping sauce! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase the activity and energy of quantum babies by 4% per nugget!

Curly Fries~

Perfect for the pregnant patron who wants to show off! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will Increase the interactivity and responsiveness of the quantum babies to external pressure. A small grants a moderate increase, medium a considerable amount, and large an intense increase! Perfect for filming baby kicking videos or entertaining a handsy partner!

Chili Cheese Fries~

Enjoy a platter of chili covered fries, topped with melted cheese! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will induce light bloating and gassiness, which may cause increased burping.

Sweet Potato Fries~

Bright orange and delightfully sweet! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause the consumer to become sleepy and potentially nap prone, perfect for winding down after a long day of pregnancy. A small helps the consumer relax, a medium makes them nap prone, and a large will make them very sleepy! (Do not operate a motor vehicle while or shortly after consuming)

Side Salad (Suggested by @zaloog81)

A classic salad that gives you a healthy boost! A small salad that goes with any of our fine salad dressings (see dips, dressings, and sauces). If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase energy and lower fatigue of the eater by a noticeable amount! Combo with your favorite dressing to specialize for your next activity!

Hand Mixed Sodas!

Our Hand Mixed Sodas are made with a carbonated base, and are customizable with shots of flavor, each with their own effects! Combine your favorites for a delightful, refreshing augmentation to your pregnancy experience!

Cherry

A summertime classic with all the Red No. 40 you know and love! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will darken the visible linea nigra line on the belly by 20% per shot of flavoring!

Mango

Tangy, tropical, and uniquely sweet! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause stretchmarks to spread of places other than the belly, traveling across the hips, thighs, and arms too! More shots means more coverage!

Grape

The classic artificial cough syrup variety you grew up with, now with a twist! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase blood flow to belly skin, giving it extra visible “blush”. Increases belly blush by 25% per shot.

Orange

Unique and refreshing, goes with most other tropical fruits! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause the belly to glow with a safe, heatless light from within! Starts with a soft glow and grows brighter with more shots, though will never go above that of a laval lamp. Use Pineapple, Peach, and Blue Raspberry shots to color the glow!

Pineapple

Includes that tingling sensation from the pineapple enzymes eating you back! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will tint any glow effects from the orange syrup a bright yellow color! 3 shots reaches full color saturation.

Peach

Ripe and juicy, tastes like it’s straight form Georgia! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will tint any glow effects from the orange syrup a vibrant red color! 3 shots reaches full color saturation.

Blue Raspberry

Why is it blue? Who cares? Still tastes great! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will tint any glow effects from the orange syrup a cool blue color! 3 shots reaches full color saturation.

Lemonade

Tart opener with a sweet finish, and pairs with pretty much every other option! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase belly skin sensitivity to touch by 20% per shot.

Lemon/Lime~

Citrusy and a little sour! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will simulate the sensation of hiccups from your quantum babies with increasing strength per shot.

Dips, Dressings, and Sauces!

Caesar Salad Dressing

A mix of dijon mustard, lemon juice, and worcestershire sauce perfect for anyone craving a classic caesar salad! If drizzled over a McPreggo side salad and eaten, will increase nesting drive by 40% for the duration of the McPreggo pregnancy. The energy given by the salad will be put toward this nesting instinct.

Tangy Vinaigrette

An old favorite with a bite, this vinaigrette goes great on our side salad! If drizzled over a McPreggo side salad and eaten, will increase joint flexibility and ease of movement by a noticeable amount. Make your maternity yoga class a breeze with our lovely dressing!

Thousand Island Dressing

An american classic, thousand island is a great topper to our side salad. If drizzled over a McPreggo side salad and eaten, will increase sense of smell and taste substantially, making your craving foods taste even better!

Ranch Dressing

Classic thick, creamy ranch, good for nuggets and salads alike! When combined with any McPreggo food, will increase the visibility of veins on the belly by 60%!

Marinara Sauce

Take the routine out of your usual McPreggo order with out tomato-y marinara sauce! When eaten with our mozzarella sticks, will increase the duration of the pregnancy by a random amount, varying from 10-40%!

BBQ sauce

Tangy and a little sweet, our BBQ sauce can’t be beat! If pregnant with a McPreggo product and fully aware of this sauce’s effects before eating, will induce a slightly hazy, forgetful “pregnancy brain” sensation for the duration of the food pregnancy!

Fry sauce

A thick fry sauce for an even thicker patron! Enjoy this northwestern classic and round out a little! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause thighs and buttocks to grow visibly thicker, with increasing effects the more is eaten.

Ketchup

We don’t need to pitch ketchup to you. It’s ketchup. You know you like it. If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will shift the distribution of babies within the womb to make it visibly lopsided. Will never push babies into an unsafe or painful position for either party.

Mustard~

Classic yellow mustard with a tummy-altering twist! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will shift the distribution of babies within the womb to make it visibly oblong, causing a tummy that’s considerably wider than it is “tall”. Will never push babies into an unsafe or painful position for either party.

Hot Mustard (Concept By @wannabemumma)

A familiar favorite with heat that sneaks up on you! If eaten with a McPreggo Product, will hasten the onset of the effect of that food item, reducing the growth or change duration by about 90%! (Takes the usual 45 second duration down to just under 5!) Really put the rapid back in rapid pregnancy!

Honey Mustard (Concept By @wannabemumma)

A sweeter version of an old favorite! If eaten with a McPreggo product, will cause the effects to onset more slowly, over approximately 5 minutes. Stacks additively with other onset-lengthening effects

Smoothies and Frozen Drinks

Tropical Mist Smoothie

Featuring peach, guava, and passionfruit, this tropical smoothie makes you feel like you just spent an afternoon on the beach! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will give the drinker the visual effects of healthy sun exposure, with no UV ray-based downsides! Enjoy a subtle tan and occasional freckles! Visual effects will be most strongly concentrated on the midriff.

Strawberry Smoothie

Elegant in its simplicity, the Strawberry Smoothie tastes exactly how it says on the tin! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will soften the skin by a noticeable degree, lasting until the end of the quantum pregnancy. Effect will be most noticeable on the midriff.

Pineapple Mango Smoothie

A tangy and refreshing combo, complete with the enzymes that eat you back! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause tightening of the womb and ab muscles. Not enough to feel like a contraction to the drinker, but will “pull in” and tighten the belly, as well as make it considerably more firm to the touch. A great middle ground between being in the third trimester, and experiencing braxton hicks.

Acai Blueberry Smoothie

Both tasty and health conscious! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will shift the womb up, allowing the drinker to carry higher. May cause mild chest tightness from the internal shifting, but will never reach a level that is alarmingly uncomfortable or dangerous.

Kale Smoothie

Get your daily greens in smoothie form! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for veggies, legumes, grains, and other foliage. Is a great start to one of our salads!

Mixed Berry Smoothie

Enjoy a mix of strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, AND blackberry, all in one vitamin C packed cup! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for fruit of all varieties.

Dragonfruit Smoothie

A mix of dragonfruit with some supporting orange and mango, this pink drink is makes a fantastic pairing with any of our entrees. If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for proteins, animal or plant based, meaning vegetarians can enjoy its effects too!

Carmel Frappe Decaf (induce dessert cravings)

A sweet carmel opening with a bitter coffee finish, without any caffeine for safe pregnant consumption! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for sweets, with particular preference for baked goods and ice creams! A fantastic combo drink if you plan to stay for dessert.

Desserts

Chocolate Chip Cookie~

A classic treat with a cute twist! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cycle through belly button types, with each cookie going to the next one in the cycle. Starts with an innie, then pops into an outie, then flattens out as though your navel was too stretched to even pop! If stretched, the next cookie reverts you back to an innie!

Ice Cream Sundae

Comes in hot fudge or carmel! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will lower the visibility of blemishes like stretchmarks or visible veins, resulting in a smoother, softer skinned tummy!

Ice Cream Sandwich

A classic straight from the ice cream truck! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will relieve back pain and contractions brought on by late-stage food-based pregnancy!

McBlendie

Cool, creamy soft serve blended with your choice of twix or reeses peanut butter cups! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will reset all other side and desert item effects. Will not hasten a McPreggo food pregnancy!

Milkshakes!~

Cookies and Crème

A thick and creamy milkshake that’s loaded with blended chocolate cookie bits! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase milk production and potentially even breast size! (Small: +100% milk production, Medium: +175% milk production, Large: +250% milk production. Percentages are approximate, breast size increase will vary)

Apple Pie Delight

A whole slice of apple pie dumped right into our vanilla milkshake mix and blended until thick! It still counts as A La Mode, right? If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase sex drive in those who drink it and are fully aware of its effects before consuming. (Small: +75% libido, Medium: +125% libido, Large: +175% libido. Percentages are approximate and based on starting sex drive. Does not function without awareness)

Maternal Marionberry

Oregon marionberries, in a milkshake, served so thick you probably need a spoon. Need we say more? If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will widen and soften hips, and give you that pregnancy glow! (Small: +5% hip width, Medium: +7.5% hip width, Large: +10% hip width. Percentages are approximate)

Marshmallow Plush

A McPreggo specialty, a delightful blend of marshmallow cream with cool vanilla makes for a surprisingly heavy drink! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, soften the exterior of a pregnant belly, making you plush and plump! (Small: +15% belly fat, Medium: +25% belly fat, Large: +35% belly fat. Percentages are approximate)

At McPreggo, we strive to create a genuinely enjoyable dining experience, with a special twist! Our food has the unique, distinct, and trademarked ability to create a simulated pregnancy in anyone who eats it! Combine any number of pregnancy-inducing entrees with pregnancy affecting sides and desserts, and you can custom tailor your McPreggo experience to exactly your desires! Experience anything from a singleton to a septuplet pregnancy with our professionally prepared meals, and shape your belly and pregnancy experience however you wish. As a subsidiary of Quantum Yum LLC, we guarantee our food and quantem-multiversal pregnancies are safe, ethically sourced, and best of all, enjoyable!

Please note that pregnancies from our food will never result in labor and will revert after 6 hours. However, a pregnancy is still a pregnancy, so expect back pain, swelling, internal movement, and cravings, among other side effects, from our meals. We hope you enjoy your food and have a fun and safe time trying out pregnancy! Sincerely, the R&D team at Quantum Yum LLC.

Oh… you’re still reading? You must be here for the secret menu then…

I won’t be coy or keep you waiting, you’ve been patient enough. ;)

The McPreggo Secret Menu

Overdue Strip Basket

A logical extension of an existing menu item, enjoy a 4 or 5 piece chicken basket with your choice of sauce! When ordered off of the secret menu, the twins continue to grow at a rate of 1 trimester per strip, meaning a basket will land you with twins in their 4th or 5th trimester based on the size you ordered. Enjoy carrying twins at multiple months overdue!

The Octomom ~

Simple but effective, an 8 patty burger (that’s 2 lbs of meat) with all the usual fixings. A slog to eat, a joy to carry. Nadya Suleman walked so we could waddle.

Carnivore’s Craving (Suggested by @wannabemumma)

Every meat on the lunch menu, on one gargantuan sandwich, granting one gargantuan pregnancy! Comes topped with fry sauce drizzle (yes, the stuff that makes your thighs and ass thicker), and an optional free small Marshmallow plush shake!

The sandwich in question includes: 1 beef patty, 1 chicken patty, 1 fish patty, 2 chicken strips, 2 chicken nuggets, and 2 spicy nuggets. This, when fully consumed, grants the consumer either full term triplets or quadruplets (50/50 odds), second trimester twins, with all babies 4% heavier and 8% more active, with polyhydramnios to top it off. Meatlovers, eat your heart out!

Maternal Masochist

For customers who want to push their pregnancy toward a more intense route, enjoy a Labor Inducer with spicy nuggets and ketchup, to get pregnant with one, enjoy strong braxton hicks contractions with an active baby, who’s also lopsided in your belly. About as uncomfortable as it gets, add additional quantum babies at your own risk.

“Has Pregnancy Increased Your Sex Drive?”

Includes a Baby Burrito, side salad with vinaigrette, triple-shot lemonade soda, and large apple pie delight! Get just pregnant enough to reap the effects. The side salad gives energy while the vinaigrette gives flexibility, the lemonade soda makes belly more sensitive, and the apple pie delight ramps up sex drive. Pair with other entrees for more belly, or mozz sticks for more longevity.

The Bottomless Belly

Includes a McPreggo single burger with a large side of fried pickle chips, with thousand island dressing for dipping. Pushes cravings into overdrive, making anything taste good. Go home and polish off every leftover in the house. Enjoy the food coma!

Model Mommy

Enjoy a Triple stack, with onion rings on the burger, cherry mango grape soda, and tater tots and ranch dressing on the side! All of the possible markings, stretch marks spread everywhere, veins, blush, linea nigra, and an extra wide triplet belly to display it all on! The ideal tummy for a pre-pregnancy try on challenge!

Gravid Gambler

Chicken nuggets, slathered in bbq sauce, with 2 Breaded babymaker patties as buns, with a side of mozz sticks, and marinara sauce! Roll the dice on twins to quads, add random extra duration, and throw in extra weight and some forgetfulness to keep it interesting!

Extra Thicc!

Enjoy a Twinner, 2 large tots with fry sauce, and an exclusive Marionberry Marshmallow Milkshake! Go for twins, go wide with the belly, then enjoy wide hips, soft ass, thick thighs, and squishy tummy. Be the pregnant cuddle buddy your friends deserve!

Sisters From Different Misters Sandwich~

Like the Land, Sea, and Air from an unnamed competitor, but with a pregnant twist! Enjoy a double burger, a chicken sandwich patty, and a fish filet all the same sandwich. End up with, 4-5 babies, with a garnish of polyhydramnios to boot!

#not bellies #long post #mcpreggo #the mcpreggo menu tag

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