#Funny Gift For Dad

[johnnydany]

Mens Retro Vintage It's Not A Dad Bod It's A Father Figure Funny T-Shirt

Get yours now: https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/42566218-mens-retro-vintage-its-not-a-dad-bod-its-a-father-

[nocherrybombs]

Food Safety is Always Important

Lumine: Thanks for inviting me to the House of the Hearth cookout, Lyney. I can honestly say that this is the most terrifying party I have ever attended.

Lyney: I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.

Lumine: Is the Knave wearing a t-shirt that says "Fish fear me, women also fear me, everyone fears me, I am very scary"?

Lyney: We needed to find her something casual to wear and this is the best we could come up with on short notice.

Lumine: But why?

Lyney: Look, do you have any idea how unsettling it is to get served hot dogs off the grill by a woman in a three-piece suit?

Meanwhile, at the grill...

Arlecchino: I don't see what the problem is. It is meat, like steak, is it not?

Freminet: Father, please, I am begging you. Chicken tartare is not safe to eat. You have to cook it all the way through. The other children will get food poisoning!

Arlecchino: Food poisoning is nothing more than weakness leaving the body.

Lynette: It's definitely something leaving the body.

Paimon: For the first time in her life, Paimon isn't hungry anymore.

[gray-doestheart]

It’s shou sunday

[beaconfeels]

Peter ending up at the Stilinski's house after the fire as "suspiciously large dog" and getting nursed back to health by Stiles.

Thoughts? 👀

I think Noah is pretty dubious about the large “dog” he finds Stiles with when he gets home, but he’s also helpless when his son looks up at him with those big brown eyes and wobbling lower lip and says, “Dad, he’s hurt. We have to help him!”

But the thing is, it turns out Peter’s not healed in wolf form, but the wounds he suffered in the fire basically disappeared under his skin. I dunno, it’s some weird shifter magic. So the vet is like, “I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He seems fine physically.” (Is this a metaphor for invisible illness? Or for the wounds we have that nobody can see? Maybe)

Even Noah can see that the dog isn’t okay, and he really hopes that it doesn’t have some weird illness it can somehow pass on to Stiles, but he doesn’t stop Stiles from taking care of the dog.

Stiles doesn’t know why the dog isn’t okay, but he clearly isn’t. It’s hard for him to walk. He sleeps for hours at a time, and sometimes when he’s awake, he lets out mournful howls that send a shiver down Stiles’s spine.

Stiles will never know how much he’s really doing to heal Peter. Peter thinks he might have been stuck in pain for years if he hadn’t stumbled upon this boy. Stiles pets him constantly, cuddles with him at night, coos soft encouraging words to him when he howls. His love and loyalty is like pack, and it allows Peter to heal from his wounds much more quickly.

Stiles names the dog Thor, and he could swear it rolls his eyes at him whenever he says it, but he still comes when Stiles calls.

Thor refuses to wear a collar or leash, but he follows Stiles to school every day once he’s doing better, and he’s always waiting when Stiles gets out. This would be awesome anyway, but it’s extra awesome because Stiles gets bullied all the time, and now nobody bothers him to or from school anymore since Thor will place himself between Stiles and the bullies and growl viciously until they run away. It’s good for Scott too, because it wasn’t doing his asthma any favors when he and Stiles had to make a run for it.

So yeah, the Stilinskies end up having a dog. Kind of. I say kind of, because it’s not really a typical owner and pet situation. Thor is ungovernable. He comes and goes when he pleases. He never seems hungry, but he also rarely eats the food Stiles puts out for him.

Noah won’t admit it to Stiles, but Thor does seem to understand more than the average dog. He’s also huge, which would be disconcerting if Noah didn’t have clear proof that Thor would protect them with his life. All in all, it’s a strange situation, but soon neither of the Stilinskis can imagine a life without their dog.

[moeblob]

They're soulmates in every single universe and I miss them at the most random times.

[flaphack]

i love terry jr but it is SO FUNNY that he is now receiving karmic retribution for his shitty step kid behavior in the form of a stepdaughter that hates him

[azne09]

My birthday gift— I love my friends sm

[violetstems]

Kenlee (Kenny x Lee) for the cat/dignified ships!

sure why not

[ibook4you]

[cerealbishh]

"As excited as I am to have everyone see Kathy Bates deliver another incredible performance, I'm excited for people to be introduced- who don't already know how incredible Skye is." (x)

"I am having the time of my life and Jason Ritter keeps me laughing more than any human being on the planet." (x)

[spockvarietyhour]

Due South "The Gift of the Wheelman"

[petsync]

Cats: the only creature that can ignore you, demand your attention, and knock over your stuff all in the span of five minutes.🥰🥰👈👈

[the-faultofdaedalus]

shadowheart is a werewolf you CANT change my mind

[eri-pl]

Silm Advent calendar 6: Gifts*

Warnings: ...idk, gaslightning? Annatar and Celebrimbor. So, that's a warning (not romantically, but still ominous).

"What do you mean: apprentice?"

Celebrimbor put a strand of hair behind his ear. Too short to be braided—the result of a minor accident. "This is a part of becoming a master. She has to show, in front of the whole guild, that she can teach. And if would be unfair to have her teach a child—both for her, as children vary greatly in skill, and for the child, to be taught by an unproven master."

He glanced up from the document. Annatar still didn't seem to comprehend, so he continued. "Therefore it's the custom to have the would-be master pick a subject that's new to one of the established masters — and teach him or her. Of course, I would love to learn how to brew Sindarin pine beer, but since you are here, my lord, of course you are the most natural—" Celebrimbor shook his head. "But no, forgive my foolishness, of course you surely know it already! Or are Sindarin crafts new even..." He did not finish, unwilling to be the first to say what hasn't been said openly yet, just impled.

Was his guest sent by the Valar, or did he came to help less formally, just, with their quiet approval? Or…without it? But this surely would not be possible.

Certainly he came from the West. That much was obvious.

"This," said Annatar, "is an absurd custom. It turns everything upside down. What will you do next, start giving out presents on your own begetting day?"

"I can't see how that could harm anyone—" Celebrimbor bit his tongue. That was not his father, that was an emissary of the Valar. He deserved politeness, even when he seemed to offer none of it himself. The Valar ruled Arda, after all. (The need to please Annatar was not about Father. Nor about the uncles, even the kind ones. It wasn't about the question which Celebrimbor would not ask anyway, which he dared not to ask, because then he might receive an answer.) "I apologize if my offer offended you, my lord. If you do not want to, I will gladly let her teach me."

Annatar studied him, with motionless face, like one of grandmother's sculptures. No, not even like one of them, as they were never so perfect, they were more... Alive? The emissary emanated with something greater than the perfection of art or life. Beauty so profound that it left no place for any other kind of beauty. Timelessness. The bliss of Valinor brought to Middle Earth.

Finally, he spoke, in a voice as flawless as his looks. "Do as you will. I am glad to see that you're open to learning new things... I wonder how you shall do with something more difficult though."

"Try me." Celebrimbor bowed slightly, and too late realized that his words have again been less than polite.

Fortunately, Annatar smiled. "Not yet. There will be time for trials, there will be time for learning, and there will be time for... more subtle questions. But I promise you, before I'm done here, you will know things you cannot yet even imagine."