slightlyspooky

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while you were busy jacking off & cumming hard. it rained outside beautifully

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More high lesbian antics involving food

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I'm mister spine twister. I'm mister curves. I'm mister scoliosis. I'm mister Sitting Hurts

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more cartoons on my instagram.

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Hypothetical New Type Of Guy:

A guy who regards "virginity" in the same way European colonialism defines "untouched nature". Nobody else who has been here before is relevant enough to matter, other men might as well not exist. Every woman that he has not personally fucked is a virgin.

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I have this idea in my head of a Faulkner painting and it's SO clear when I imagine it and I just can't do it even the rough sketches are not coming out right and I'm going insane.

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OP gets busts out the taxonomic bestiary when we talk about crabs

“Pitcher Plant”

I dislike the term “pitcher plant”. It reeks of outdated ignorance and describes a vast number of species from around the world, many of which are not closely related to each other.

As a botanist, and an evil one at that, I prefer to be precise with my language. You too can become an educated scientist and terrific snob by using the correct terms for each variety of “pitcher plant”. If you require education on the matter, allow me to inform you.

There are three families of “pitcher plant”: Sarraceniaceae, Nepenthaceae, and Cephalotaceae. Sarraceniaceae has 3 genera — namely Sarracenia, Heliamphora, and Darlingtonia. Nepenthaceae has a single genus (Nepenthes), and Cephalotaceae has a single species. An entire family with only one species. Ugh.

Now, they look quite distinct from each other, so here are some photos and facts.

This species belongs to Sarracenia, the North American or trumpet pitcher plants. Note the height and slender shape.

This is also a Sarracenia. Note the lack of height and squat shape. Most Sarracenia species look like one of these two — they are quite easy to identify. They are found in boggy, temperate areas around North America and reach a height of up to 4 feet tall.

This is a stunning example of a Nepenthes (tropical pitcher plants) species. These are what you likely think of when someone mentions “pitcher plants”. Beautiful, found in warm, humid regions of the world. They are climbing vines and pitchers can reach over a foot tall (this is species-dependent).

This is an example of Heliamphora, the sun pitchers. They can be found in South America. While still belonging to the family Sarraceniaceae, they are not as tall as Sarracenia, but still quite graceful. If you have a mind for Greek, you may wonder if the “heli” in Heliamphora is for sun (from “helios”). It is not. The name Heliamphora instead comes from “helos”, meaning marsh. The name “sun pitcher” is misleading and comes from a misunderstanding — these plants would be more accurately called “marsh pitchers”.

I have a passionate love-hate relationship with Cephalotus follicularis. Cephalotus is a monotypic genus (a genus with only one species) and of course it is Australian. They look similar to Nepenthes but are unrelated and much smaller — the plants reach just shy of 8 inches tall.

There are also the cobra lilies, Darlingtonia, which belong to Sarraceniaceae. Those are arguably similar enough to Sarracenia that they do not need to be discussed here. Darlingtonia is another monotypic genus within Sarraceniaceae.

Now you have absolutely no excuse. You have been informed on the major genera of “pitcher plants” and should weaponize this knowledge as you see fit.

The brilliant and brave may also wish to weaponize the plants themselves. Kindly send me updates if you do. I am ever so curious…

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You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.

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Germany’s neo-Nazi AfD party has a secret Facebook group for its leaders.

They shared and laughed at a post one of them made with Anne Frank’s picture on a pizza box, saying Oven Fresh.

Elon Musk just endorsed the AfD.

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What a lovely time for this to come from my queue

isaac Schorr at Mediaite:

Elon Musk, the richest man in the world and advisor to President-elect Donald Trump, is a paid subscriber to a virulently racist X account. Musk not only follows an account called “Boer” (@twatterbaas) but is one of two accounts to pay it for “bonus content and extra perks.” Boer charges $5/month for said perks and content. In one of the account’s most recent tweets, Boer submitted that “Atrica [sic] has 54 countries, 1.487 billion people. On the Southern tip lays South Africa, with the largest Economy and best infrastructure. Guess what makes South Africa different from the rest of Africa? 4.6 million white people.”

In other instances, the account has touted rape rates in “Black ruled” countries, used pictures to suggest that the country was better off under racial apartheid, asked “why do blacks like to destroy and break what white man made?” and urged “these racist blacks of #SouthAfrica to stop being selfish and transfer the strategical jobs and planning to us whites of this country.”

Elon Musk loves far-right racists.

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I did once have an incident where I was talking to this guy with tattooed eyeballs and demon horns implanted under his forehead, and saying “no, I don’t think we’ve met before, I would remember” (because how do you forget a guy with tattooed eyeballs??) and then his cat walked into the room and I was like “OH, okay yeah we’ve met.”

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Cutely chases you at a jog until you collapse from exhaustion before clobbering you to death with a rock =3

hi gang. reminder that we are some of the best sweaters in the animal kingdom (second only to equines) allowing us to stay cool and keep moving in hot weather. we have 10 times the density of sweat glands compared to other great apes.

we are ALSO insanely good at smelling rain (specifically geosmin, found in the soil and activated by rain) with the ability to smell 10 parts per trillion. this is speculated to have helped our ancestors survive!

we ALSO have absolutely batshit diets compared to most other animals. caffeine and chocolate are completely toxic to most animals but we can eat it without even feeling sick. even avocados are severely toxic to many animals to the point where it can be fatal to eat, but humans love it!!!

we are ALSO the best endurance runners ON EARTH out of ANY other species. we beat horses in endurance running. you know, the animals that gradually evolved away most of their toes in order to be the best runners?? yeahhh.

and to top it all off. our lifespan is unusually long for our species' weight/mass. typically, the bigger a species is, the longer its average lifespan (e.g. weasels live for 1-2 years, whales can live over 200) but we're very small for how long our average lifespan is. big cats like tigers live around 14-15 years, brown bears 25 years, yet here we are expected to live around 75-85 years. that is NUTS.

humans as a species are so extremely cool. it's not just our intellect that makes us amazing. we may not be the fastest or the strongest in the animal kingdom but we're super cool in many other ways. next time you sweat you can go wow!!! humans are so cool I'm able to keep moving because of my absolutely insane number of sweat glands! thank you evolution!

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Cannot understate how hateable elon musk is

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asunder gotta be one of the top five ways to be torn