#Fun fact I had never watched this episode. Once I started but was interrupted half way through

[sskk-manifesto]

(´；ω；｀)

[tyongxnct]

𝘗𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 - 𝘛𝘦𝘯

pairing: Ten x reader

summary: Your best friend finally became your boyfriend, but not longer after that, he got a once in a lifetime opportunity. Ten didn’t know If he should take the offer, you only started dating recently but you would never hold him back. Going to a dance school in New York City? You know how much Ten loves dancing and you also know that you could make this work. But after a couple months, your relationship was slowly falling apart. 

song: Pillow - Bebe Rexha

genre: bestfriends-to-lovers!au, long-distance!au, angst, smut, fluff

warnings: smut (that’s it i guess)

word count: 5.6k

A/N: I’ll probably take a song fic break after this one! I hope you enjoy this!! have fun reading :)

taglist: @aesthetichrj​, @bitchenderyy​, @bvbyxuxi​, @chitaphrrrr​

this is fiction!

© tyongxnct on all platforms

I just wanna kiss your face I just wanna feel your gaze I just wanna, I just wanna I just wanna be where you are I just wanna feel your touch I'm not asking for too much I just wanna, I just wanna I just wanna wake up where you are

You missed the way he kissed you. You missed the way he looked at you with so much adoration, you missed his touch on your skin.

You missed him, you missed Ten.

“I miss you.” You whispered, half asleep. You were facetiming Ten and it’s been almost two months since he left.

“I miss you more.” Ten smiled as he watched you slowly fall asleep.

“That’s not possible.”

Ten looked at you with those eyes again.

“What?”

“Nothing. You’re just so pretty.”

“Shut up.” You said shyly.

“But it’s the truth.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.” And then you fell asleep. That was your routine. Facetime with Ten until you fell asleep.

Yes, you missed him and you would prefer to sleep next to him, but Ten was living his dream and his happiness was your happiness.

I used to think that love was just so easy But I couldn't be less right Yeah I finally found someone perfect, just for me Gotta fly thousands of miles, yeah

four months ago

“Why? Please tell me, why is it so hard to find the perfect guy? Is there not a single guy who’s interested in me? Am I going to die alone? Am I too ugly to be loved?” you cried out.

Ten sighed. He wanted to tell you so bad that you were the prettiest girl in the entire world and that he would love you forever, but he was just you’re best friend. You didn’t like him like that. Right?

“No you’re not, now shut up and focus on new girl.”

“Is it too much I’m asking for? I just want someone to love me. Like really love me. Am I not loveable?” you asked him.

You looked at the screen and watched Nick and Jess share their first (and absolutely amazing and passionate) kiss.

“I want what they have! Look at the way he kisses her! I want that, I need that!”

After watching a couple more episodes of new girl, Ten decided to go home. He wanted to kiss you so bad, he imagined it the whole time instead of focusing on new girl. “You can stay the night if you want to.” You told him.

“Nah, I should go home. Lucas texted me and asked me to take Bella out since he’s busy with whatever her name was.”

“Fine. Text me when you get home.” You hugged your best friend goodbye before he left and he hugged you back, a little longer than normal. You were standing in front of the door and just hugged each other.

A couple minutes later he left and you missed his touch.

With a sad sigh you closed the door and went to the kitchen. You wanted to drink something, but suddenly the doorbell rang.

“Did you forget-“

You opened the door and saw Ten standing there and before you could finish your question, Ten pressed his lips on yours to shut you up. You didn’t move at first, your head was spinning, you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or just the fact that Ten, you’re best friend who you secretly loved more than anything else on this planet, kissed you with so much passion.

You pulled him closer as you put your arms around his neck. You were kissing him back and you accidently let out a moan when he put his tongue inside your mouth. You were never, ever kissed like this.

He softly pulled away to let you breathe again. Ten licked over his lips and stepped back.

“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. You’re absolutely beautiful and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you. I-I’m sorry If I just destroyed our friendship, but I need you to know how I feel about you. I don’t want you to date random men, I don’t want you to think that you are not enough, because fuck, you are. You are perfect and I want to love you like you deserved to be loved. If you let me.”

You looked at him with teary eyes. Ten, your best friend who you were crushing on for years, your best friend who helped you find cute outfits for your dates, even though he hated every second of you looking cute for another guy, your best friend who just confessed to you.

“I love you.” You blurred out.

Ten’s eyes widened.

“Shit, did I say it too soon?” you looked down to your feet.

“Fuck I love you too.” And without hesitation he pulled you closer to kiss you again, “I love you so much.” He said in between kisses.

That’s how your relationship started. He stayed the night and told Lucas to take care of Bella himself. He wanted to spend some time with his best- no, his girlfriend.

You were dating for three months now, and you can’t remember a time you were happier. You loved to go on dates with Ten, but you also loved the nights you had just dance battles at home. Ten always won, he was a dancer after all. Dancing was his passion, he loved it and he was the greatest dancer you’ve ever seen and when he told you about the school he wanted to apply to, you encouraged him to do it. One day, he got an email, but he was too scared to read it so he rushed over to your apartment.

“It’s going to be fine.” You assured him.

“C-Can you read it? Please?”

You smiled softly, “Sure.”

You opened the email and read it out loud, “Dear Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, I would like to congratulate you for winning a scholarship in our school-“

“Oh my god I’m in?” he couldn’t believe it.

“You are in! I knew you would make it!” you hugged him tightly and he hugged you back even tighter after he realized that he had to leave you.

“I can’t believe this.” He mumbled into your neck.

“I can! You deserve this so much, I’m so proud of you Ten.” You pressed a kiss on his shoulder before you pulled back to look him in the eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too. So much.” He said sadly.

“What’s wrong. Why are you not smiling and dancing?” you smiled softly.

“I-It’s in New York. I don’t want to leave you, maybe I should refuse-” He said unsure but you interrupted him.

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Ten, Baby, I love you and I promise you that everything is going to be fine. You worked so hard, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, I’ll love you no matter where you are. We can make this work.”

You tried to stop yourself from crying so bad, you bit your lip almost too painfully.

“You are right. We’ll make this work. Thank you for believing in me.” He kissed every inch of your face, “You are the best girlfriend in this entire world. I love you so much.”

It took you so long to finally be with Ten and now you had a long-distance relationship. But your love was so strong, you could make this work. You promised each other to make this work.

I'll be alright, just one more night I'll be just fine, holdin' my pillow Pretending it's you though I'll be alright, just one more night I'll be just fine, holdin' my pillow Pretending it's you though

Babe 03:23: Sorry baby, we practiced a little longer than usual. You’re probably sleeping right now, sweet dreams. I love you and I’ll call you tomorrow. I promise.

You were actually still awake, you couldn’t fall asleep. You were worried and you missed him so much that you had to wait for an answer.

You threw the pillow you were hugging against the wall and sat up. You took your phone in your hand and smiled brightly as you called him on facetime. It’s been two minutes since he called, why did it take him so long to answer? You called him again and when he didn’t answer you texted him a simple good night and I love you.

You grabbed your pillow again and hugged it tightly. You tried to stop yourself from crying, but it was so hard. It’s been 7 months since Ten left, and the first couple months of your long-distance relationship was easy, you talked every day and texted often too, you would facetime before you would go to sleep and he would send you random pictures and videos of New York and his dance school so you would know about his lifestyle there.

But now he’s been pretty busy and you would talk maybe three times a week if he had time. He would answer your texts when you were asleep or not at all. Sometimes you were worried that he was overworking himself, but he assured you that everything was chill and easy. So why was he acting so distant?

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, you told yourself as you tried to fall asleep. You would try to call him tomorrow and tell him that you were sad and that you missed him. Communication is the key after all, but for now, you’d cry into your pillow and imagine it was Ten you were hugging.

I need a minute to breathe you in Just a second to taste your skin I just gotta, I just gotta Feel you here right next to me Can we please just go back in time Those lazy Sundays, you and I 'Cause every hour and every day Is more painful when you're away

It was the last night before Ten would leave for New York. You spend the last month everyday together, it was almost like he moved in with you, but you pushed back that thought to stop your heart from hurting.

“Is it tasty?” you asked him.

You had ordered some Pizza and he asked you if you wanted a piece. You refused at first but now you wanted some and he laughed at your cute acting and gave you his last two pieces. “No it’s too much.” You giggled. “Just eat it, we both know that you could finish another box of Pizza baby.”

“Well, that’s true.”

He put his head on your lap while you were eating the last piece of Pizza. “You look so hot from here eating that Pizza. Tomato sauce on your lips, wow, baby, I get hard just looking at you from here.” He joked and you slapped him softly.

“Don’t make fun of me or you can sleep on the floor.”

Ten pouted, “You wouldn’t do that.”

You spent the next hours just laying lazily on your couch and cuddling. You would miss nights like these the most, just being with him and talking about everything that came to your minds. You loved it and you loved him.

You didn’t notice him crawl between your legs as you laid against the armrest. “What do you think? Should we take this off?” he pulled on your shirt.

“Maybe we should.” You smirked, “And maybe you should take your shirt off too.”

And he did. He took off his shirt first before he slowly, teasingly took off yours. You were just wearing a shirt and panties and now you were almost completely naked under him. “You’re so hot.” You heard him say before he started kissing your boobs. His hand softly caressed your pussy over your panties.

Your nipples hardened instantly, your head fell back and you just enjoyed his tongue on your breasts. “It feels so good.” You moaned.

After giving enough attention to your other nipple, Ten stood up and carried you to your bedroom. “It’s going to be a long night.” He smirked at you.

After softly placing you on the bed, Ten pulled down your panties and kissed your inner thighs. He kissed his was to your already wet pussy and kissed it softly. You felt his tongue against your clit and you closed your eyes. He licked you so good and sucked on your clit, you were so close.

“Fuck, baby, It feels so fucking good.”

Ten fastened his pace and a couple seconds later you reached your first orgasm.

“Number one, more to go.” He said, his chin glistening with your arousal and turning you on.

You felt his fingers on your entrance and a second later he thrusted his fingers inside of you. His lips were on your nipples again and you gripped the sheets, his fingers slid in easily, you were so wet. “Fuck.” You could feel your second orgasm coming. “Tell me baby, what do you want?”

“I want to cum again- please Ten make me cum again.” You cried out.

You felt him go faster and when he hit that one spot, you reached your second orgasm. Ten put his fingers against your lips, “Suck.” He demanded and you sucked his fingers clean. “Good girl.”

“I want to suck you off- please Ten let me suck you off.” You begged him.

“Okay baby, show me how good you can take me inside of your mouth.” He pulled down his sweatpants and his boxers briefs and sat down on the edge of your bed. You got off the bed and got on your knees right in front of his hard cock.

You spat on your hand and wrapped your fingers around his shaft and started pumping slowly, “Don’t tease baby, or you’ll regret it.” He warned you.

You fastened your pace and started licking his tip. You licked on the slit, and slowly put his cock inside of your mouth. It’s not your first time sucking his cock, you knew what you had to do to make him feel good.

“Yeah just like that, feels so good baby.” He caressed your hair softly as you took him all the way down. His cock hit the back of your throat but you didn’t mind, you liked it actually and Ten loved it. “Fuck yes yes, just like that, love it so much.” He moaned out, you felt him twitch inside of your mouth.

You sucked his cock and softly played with his balls, you looked up and saw that he closed his eyes and bit his lip, eyebrows furrowed and face sweaty. You let out a moan after seeing him like that and the vibrations of your voice felt so good, he came. “Fuck, yes baby take it all and swallow.”

You did as he said, “Open up and show me.”

You opened your mouth and sticked your tongue out. “Good girl. Now baby, I want you to fucking ride me, okay baby?”

You nodded eagerly.

You sat down on his cock slowly and started riding him. It felt so good, you grabbed his shoulders to go faster. “T-Ten, I love your cock so much.” You cried out. Ten cupped your boobs and flicked your nipples, and you loved it when he played with your nipples. Ten wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you down so he could suck on your nipples. While he did that, he fucked up into you, meeting your hips. The sounds of your skin slapping against each other was like music to your ears.

“So fucking tight, didn’t I fuck this pussy enough?” you clenched at his words.

You felt your legs arching and you felt like you were collapse on top of him, “T-Ten I can’t p-please take over.” And he did.

Within a second he turned your around and took you from behind. You were on all fours as he stared ramming his cock inside of you. His hand found your clit and he started rubbing and circling it with his fingers. “Gonna cum baby? Hm? Cum all over my cock?”

“Y-Yes, fuck, feel so good. I’m so fucking close.”

You clenched once again and encouraged Ten to go even faster and harder with his thrusts. “I’m gonna fill you up, you’re going to take all of my cum, okay baby?”

“Yes please, cum in me.”

And with the next thrust, you came. You moaned as you clenched and rode out your third orgasm, you were so sensitive but it still felt good. You clenched around him once again and Ten came and painted your walls white.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” He moaned as he slowed down and pulled his cock out of you. He watched his cum mixed with yours drip out of you. “So fucking hot.” He got hard again.

That night, you had so many orgasms. His hands, his mouth and his cock bought you to heaven. He fucked you hard and fast but also slow and full of passion.

I used to think that love was just so easy But I couldn't be less right, yeah

“I’ll miss you so much.” You told him that night before he left.

“I’ll miss you too, but we’ll make this work. I trust in us. We’ll talk every day and text and I’ll come visit you and you’ll come visit me too.” Ten said convinced that long-distance was going to work.

“I love you so much, never forget that okay.”

It could work. You could make this work. You were absolutely sure that you and Ten could make a long-distance relationship work. He was your best friend before you started dating, he would never hurt you and you would never hurt him and you trust him with your life.

I'll be alright, just one more night I'll be just fine, holdin' my pillow Pretending it's you though I'll be alright, just one more night I'll be just fine, holdin' my pillow Pretending it's you though

It’s been almost two weeks since you last facetimed Ten. Yeah, you texted once in a while but it’s been so long since you talked and just be there for each other. You talked to him a month ago about feeling lonely and missing him and he promised you to make more time for you, but the last two weeks you barely talked.

You didn’t want to be clingy and suffocate him, so you waited for him to text you first. But every passing minute broke your heart more and more. You knew that he found new friends, but you would never doubt his faithfulness.

You closed your eyes and hugged your pillow tightly. Every night, you pretended that it was Ten you were hugging and not just your pillow. You missed his touch so much, you missed to kiss him and just hug him. You couldn’t take it anymore, you had to hear his voice. It was past midnight in New York but you didn’t care a t that moment.

“Yes?” you heard him yell. At least he answered.

“Ten? Can you hear me?” The other line was so loud, you raised your voice a little.

“What is it Y/n?! I’m busy!” you could hear loud music and people laughing around. “Busy? What are you doing?” it didn’t sound like he was busy.

“I’m out with some friends, look, I told you I’ll call you. Can’t you let me breathe for one day?” he said. Ten sounded annoyed and you could imagine how he rolled his eyes.

“It’s been two weeks since you said you’ll call! I let you breathe, but I was so worried, I just wanted to hear you voice-“

“You heard my voice, can I hang up now?”

You gasped, he sounded so cold, so annoyed and even distracted and before he could, you hung up.

You fell asleep crying. Once again.

Ten never apologized for that night and you never bought it up. It’s like talking to a wall. It took him a couple days to call you and he acted like that night never happened, like he never talked like he had enough of you.

The worst thing was yet to come.

Your one-year anniversary.

You reminded him one day before, that you would facetime, eat something together, watch a movie and just spend time together.

You waited and waited, but he never called.

You called him four times, texted him ten times, but he never answered and when you checked his Instagram story, you weren’t even surprised.

Ten was partying again. Ten ditched you to party on your one-year anniversary.

You realized that you were holding onto something that was long gone. It was over. It should be over. You were done with him, you were heartbroken and you regretted every decision you made. Maybe you should’ve stayed friends, maybe you would be happier and not suffering.  

And I can't lie, babe, I'm losing my patience Too much waiting for you Every time that I wake up My hands go where I'm waiting for you I know I say that I'm fine But I'm losing my mind Just need to hold you Don't take your time Oh, baby

The next day, you had fifteen missed calls from Ten, but you decided to ignore him for a while and sort your thoughts. He texted you every day, apologizing and asking for forgiveness. Ten told you about his day even though you never texted back. You hated to be like this, but you needed space. You called him one week later and he answered immediately.

“H-Hi.” Ten whispered nervously.

“Hey.” You mumbled.

“How… how have you been?” Ten wanted to punch himself. How could he ask you that? He knew that you were feeling sad.

“Okay I guess.” You tried to hold back you tears.

“Look about-“

“I can’t do this anymore.” You just said it. You’ve been thinking about it for the past months actually, but you never thought you would get to this point. You never thought you would want to break up.

“W-What? N-no, no no no please Y/n. Look I’m sorry, I’m s-so sorry that I missed our anniversary, but please don’t do this-“

“It’s not just the anniversary! Everything is too much for me. You ignore me and you yell at me for caring and being worried a-and you ditched me so many times and o-our anniversary- you, fuck, you were out having fun while I was waiting for you! You tell me that you’re going to call, but you never do and when I call you because I miss you, you yell at me and call me annoying!”

You didn’t want to cry, but it was so hard not to.

“I-I’m sorry. I am really so fucking sorry. Y-You didn’t deserve all that, I fucked up. I promised to be there for you b-but-“ he stopped. You could hear him sniff and try to hold back his tears. Ten rarely cried, like, you saw him cry maybe one time.

“But?”

“But I was so overwhelmed with this city and with this school and dancing. I can’t lose you. You’re my everything. I’ll change! I’ll be a better boyfriend, but please, don’t leave me.” He cried out.

“I-It’s not that easy. Y-You broke my heart. I trusted in us, b-but maybe we aren’t meant to be.”

“No, no. No, don’t say that- you know that’s not true, you know that I love you more than anything. You are the most important person in my life.”

“Seems like I’m not as important as you think I am. I don’t want to be the reason you stop focusing on what’s important and that’s your dance school. That’s New York and m-my feelings are important too. I… I can’t remember the last time I was genuinely happy. I’m sorry, Ten. I’m really sorry.”

And before he could start talking again, you hung up. You broke out in tears, you clutched your heart and tried to keep it from exploding, but you felt the little piece stab your insides. Ten wasn’t doing any better. He cried and cried and regretted all of his choices, he regretted leaving you and moving to New York. He regretted ignoring you, he regretted leaving you on read. He regretted everything. Oh, how he wished he could turn back time and be a better boyfriend. A boyfriend you deserve, someone who makes you feel loved and not someone who hurts you.  

I'll be alright, just one more night I'll be just fine, holdin' my pillow Pretending it's you though I'll be alright, just one more night I'll be just fine, holdin' my pillow Pretending it's you though

It’s been a couple days since you talked to Ten. You had blocked him everywhere and you tried to ignore the pain in your heart. It was harder to break up and block him, but it was the only way to stop your suffering. You couldn’t let him treat you like that forever.

You couldn’t focus on anything. It was almost like he followed you everywhere. One day your mother send you pictures of prom and Ten was your date. You went as friends but you just realized that he looked at you with so much love in his eyes. His arm was around your waist and you looked at each other and smiled brightly. Then, you wanted to watch some Netflix and Netflix recommended you Step up. A movie about dancing. How ironic. Even the number Ten made you so sad and emotional.

Almost a week later, you got ready for bed. You were brushing your teeth when you heard the doorbell. Who could it be at this hour? You tiptoed and looked through the spy. Your jaw dropped when you saw his face.

“I can hear you breathing. Please open the door, I want to see your face. I missed you so much.”

You slowly opened the door and looked at him with teary eyes, he was about to step closer but he stood still, his body froze and his heart hurt. You weren’t doing any better. It’s been a year since you saw his pretty face and now he was standing right in front of you. You wanted to hug him, kiss him, just pull him closer and never let go again, but you were also frozen.

“I-I can’t be without you. Tell me to stay and I will.” He said and he looked absolutely serious.

You pulled him closer and hugged him as tightly as you could. Ten wrapped his arms around you pressed kisses on your hair. “I’ll do it, I’ll leave New York and come back to you. I just need you. I love you so much, Y/n.”

You sobbed and cried and it was so hard to breathe but you couldn’t stop yourself from crying harder. “I love you too, but I don’t want you to do t-that. I don’t want you to stop living your dream. I love you so much, but I won’t let you do that.”

“B-But I don’t want to lose you.” Ten whispered and caressed your hair softly.  “Please forgive me, please. I was dumb, so fucking dumb. I didn’t realize how I treated you. I didn’t see that you were hurting and I promise you I’ll be better, I can’t lose you ever again. Please give me a second chance to make this right.”

You nodded and it felt so unreal to hold him in your arms. You waited for this moment for so long and he was finally in your arms. Seeing him helped you realize that you couldn’t be without him, that you needed your best friend, the love of your life.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you.”

You were cuddling under the blankets as Ten softly played with your hair, your head was on his chest. He also left kisses on your forehead, on your nose, on your lips, on every inch of your face and hands. Your hands were locked and he would never let go again.

“How did you even come? Don’t you have any classes to attend?” you asked him as you pecked his lips.

“I’ll just skip a few days, I won’t miss anything. Don’t worry about that.” He smiled softly.

Ten started drawing circles on your soft skin and you did the same on his chest. You looked up at him and pressed your lips on his, not just a simple peck. A kiss with so much longing and passion. A kiss to show him how much you missed him.

His hand slowly travelled to your waist and then to your ass. He squeezed it softly and pulled you on top of him, not breaking the kiss.

You moved your hips and his hands caressed the skin under your shirt. You broke the kiss for a second to get rid of your shirt. You weren’t wearing anything under your shirt and Ten cupped your breast with one hand and cupped your cheek with the other to kiss you again. He pinched your nipple and you let out a moan.

You could feel him slowly hardening and your hand found his belt. You unbuttoned his jeans and grabbed his shirt to take it off. You placed wet kisses on his chest and next thing you knew, you were under him.

Ten sucked on your boobs and pinched your nipples while he was busy pulling down your sweatpants and underwear. You were completely naked under him now and he kissed his way to your pussy. He parted your legs with his hands and you wanted to close them again, you were shy but then you remembered that this was Ten and you parted your legs even wider.

Ten softly kissed your pussy and then he ate you out like a starving man. He sucked on your clit and when he inserted two fingers inside of your wet cunt, you lost it. You tried to hide your moans but you couldn’t, your grip around the sheets tightened and you could see the stars, you can’t even remember the last time you had an orgasm, that’s why you came embarrassingly fast. You couldn’t hold back and came all over his fingers. “I’m cuming, fuck, feels so good.”

Ten didn’t stop playing with your clit, even after you came and you were so sensitive, you almost came again but he stopped and crawled back up to kiss you. “I love you.” He mumbled before he pulled his boxers down.

“I love you- so much.”

He was rock hard already and ready to be inside of you. He didn’t need you to suck him off, he just needed to be inside of you.

“I missed fucking you, I missed your tight little cunt so much.” And before you could answer that you missed him fucking you too, he rammed his cock inside of you. You moaned so loud, you hoped the neighbors wouldn’t hear you, but you wouldn’t hold back- you were feeling way too good to shut up.

“Fuck me, fuck me please.”

And he did.

Ten fucked you hard and fast, he gripped your hips tightly and fucked you deep, hitting the right spot and making you lose your mind. You clenched around him and he could feel himself getting closer. He looked you deep in the eyes and your boobs bounced up every time he moved his hips. He loved how fucked out you looked, so pretty and innocent.

“L-Let me ride you, please-“ you moaned out and who was he to refuse? He loved seeing you on top him.

You were riding him now, he gripped your hands again to thrust up. He couldn’t take away his eyes from your boobs or your face. You threw your head back, you felt your second orgasm nearing and feeling his hands on your boob, pinching your nipples turned you even more on.

“I’m gonna cum, gonna cum-“ and you came and Ten couldn’t hold back and he shot his cum inside of you. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good.”

You moved your hips to ride out your orgasms and you collapsed on top of him. Ten pulled his cock out of your cunt and then he got up to bring a warm towel to clean you up. After he was done cleaning you up, he got into bed and pulled you up to his chest. You were naked under the covers but you didn’t mind, his body was warm and cozy.

“I love you.” He placed a kiss on your temple.

“I love you too.” And you fell asleep in the arms of the love of your life.

Your relationship was even stronger than before. After Ten left for New York again, you were scared that it wouldn’t work out, but it did. He was always there for you and you were always there for him. You visited him on Valentine’s day and he visited you on your birthday. Your love grew and before you could realize that you’ve been dating for three years, you were packing your stuff to move out of your apartment.

Yes, you were moving to New York, to your boyfriend and you’ve been thinking about this for months now and it was the best decision you’ve ever made. You’re living with your best friend, who became your boyfriend, in New York City.

Baby (14:24): SPOTTED! The love of my life in Starbucks, with an iced coffee in her hand. Who is she waiting for? Perhaps her boyfriend? Stay tuned. XOXO gossip girl.

You laughed out loud in Starbucks as you read the text Ten just sent you. You laughed a little too loud, a couple looked at you and you apologized for laughing so loud.

Ten entered Starbucks and kissed you on the lips. “Babe, gossip girl? Really?” you giggled and wrapped your arms around him. “You know you love me.”

And that was the truth. “You’re right.”

[sakura-83]

Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down

Season 2 Episode 1: Youth Is The Season of Hope

1. Anne looking over her collection of treasures

2. Her walk through the forests and fields, talking to trees and watching butterflies and being free from worldly concerns such as dirtying her clothes or going home before dark

3. The general way that Anne loves nature

4. Anne falling into a creek. I’ve done that so many times

5. Anne coming hone covered in twigs and mud and Matthew just smiling

6. It does make me sad how Mr. Dunlop is genuinely happy at Green Gables but the plan still crumbles. He was a bad person but I still wish he could’ve had his house, a calm life, maybe then he could’ve changed forever.

7. The fact that when school isn’t in session, there’s no paper to be had for students

8. Anne critiquing the way Nate prays

9. “And bless those who are here, and those who are in our hearts” CUTTING INTO A SHOT OF THE BOAT GILBERT IS ON

10. Gilbert singing while he works

11. Bash being exasperated with Gilbert

12. Gilbert could’ve had a comfortable steady life but willingly chose to work in the name of adventure and experience

13. Nate trying to convince Anne of all people that geology is boring

14. Nate frequently says things that will trigger a flashback in Anne and yet she still continues to spring back up enthusiastically

15. The whole flirting thing between Nate and Marilla never fails to make me very uncomfortable

16. Yknow. It’s probably the money they stole from Jerry that’s paying the rent

17. Jerry having a mini heart attack when Anne is in the barn

18. Jerry knowing there’s something off about Nate but being unable to place it

19. Anne’s fond talk of reading seeking very surface level while the scene is interrupted by flashbacks of how it was the only hope, the only shred of happiness she was able to keep in her youth

20. “Reading can save your life.”

21. Anne finding Jane eyre when she had to hold the books as punishment

22. “Look at this sentence, isn’t it glorious!” “Sometimes you’re not very nice.” “What do you mean? Why are you- Jerry!” “No school for me, remember?” “I can teach you to read!”

23. Jerry telling her not to bother and her proceeding to relay the entire alphabet anyways

24. They don’t have any paper so Anne has to teach him by writing in the hay and dirt on the ground

25. Nate just starting to scream and throw things so people thing he’s having a breakdown

26. Stupid mr Barry falling for it

27. The cuthberts singing the same song as Gilbert while they work

28. Bash explaining to Gilbert that he’s a young white boy and he can do whatever he wants in life, but bash is stuck with his lot in life and needs to keep his job

29. Bash telling him he’s also bad at singing

30. “I’m so glad I get to live in a world where there are Octobers, aren’t you?”

31. Anne being baffled that they haven’t been to the beach since they were children

32. Anne going to the beach for the first time

33. The way she absolutely has to stand on the cliff edge over the ocean

34. Matthew waving back to her

35. Anne impulsively stripping down and jumping into the ocean during a Canadian October

36. Matthew doing the same

37. Anne can’t swim

38. Anne laughing at her near death experience

39. Matthew teaching her to swim

40. Anne asking to buy back Birdie with the harvest money

41. Even Marilla coming to enjoy the beach

42. Anne looking off into the sea from land and Gilbert looking out to the horizon from the ship deck

43. Only Anne would realize how well loved the gold chapter is

44. Anne’s impulsive and nosy nature is what ultimately revealed Nate’s lie

45. Nate manipulating a child and taking advantage of their trust

46. “How about a dashing hero, named Albert, Herbert, Rupert, Pilbert-“ “Pilbert!? That’s ridiculous! I would never write a story about a boy named Pilbert!” “It’s not like we can’t tell-“ “Well YOU always murder everyone because you can’t figure out what to do with your characters-“

47. Aunt Josephine wanting to read their stories

48. Anne using an entire framed embroidery piece to teach Jerry to read

49. Jerry trying to refuse learning to read but being convinced by the way Anne talks about it so fondly

50. “Reading can save your life.” “Alright, I’ll try it.” “YES!”

51. “Let’s kill the cat.” The cat being Anne. I wouldn’t put actually killing her past Nate

52. Them decorating a pie

53. Jerry carving the alphabet into the barn wall

54. Poor Jerry, not only did Nate beat him terrible but the comments about “a little French pig” are also. Ouch.

55. Anne coming out of a flashback and still acting brave, plus her starting to catch on to Nate based on his outbursts and Jerry’s behavior

56. Not Nate half stripping in front of Marilla >:(

57. Yayyyyy more marriage drama from the Barry household

58. “I just want to do something that matters for once.”

59. Mr Dunlop really isn’t so bad to me? A crook, sure, but one with basic empathy and way less full of malice towards children

60. Anne making him an apron

61. One specific tell of the lie being the specific repeated use of the phrase “moral quandary”. Most people in a genuinely situation wouldnt repeatedly use that phrase and Nate’s liberal use of it makes him feel scripted which is perfect because he’s a liar using a script

62. Marilla giving Jerry an entire BASKET of pastries for his family

63. Never tell Rachel Lynde a secret

64. $150 PER GOLD TEST????

65. Fun facts from Matthew, most folks in Avonlea make about $300-$400 a year

66. Nate isn’t a great actor but mr Dunlop certainly is, mostly because he’s half genuinely

67. “You are a moral man.” :/ well

68. Anne immediately thinking of writing to Gilbert and being determined to find where he is

69. Anne almost cracking the code with the stamp and then getting distracted

70. “Does that sound romantical?” The- the manifest, not the letter to Gilbert-“

71. “Please let there be gold in Avonlea, so that there’s no more hardship for anyone. And please, please help me get my letter to Gilbert. And please be sure I don’t misspell any words! Amen.”

[idga-buck]

Some and Others, 2/?

Bucky finds it difficult to end a relationship without a good reason, until he has a good reason.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3,702

Content: sexual references (18+ only), swearing, Bucky seems like a jerk in this, but he really isn’t. I’m so behind on FATWS (like..second episode behind) because the friend I’m watching with is very busy and I respect that. This doesn’t contain any spoilers that I know of and doesn’t use the show as a point of reference. May change in future chapters if I ever get to watch it.

“Fuck... Fuuuu-“

The word died in Bucky’s chest, dissolving into a

mouthful of shamelessness. Grunts that vibrated against the back of his teeth as his body tightened, every muscle from his fingers digging into your hips to his burning quads pulled so taut that his ass cheeks could have crushed rock between them. He was getting rather comfortable using his new body to dole out something other than pain and suffering, to experience something else too. Though by the yellowing finger shaped bruises scattered on your legs and arms, there was still a little pain. The good kind, you’d assured him many times and some days Bucky Barnes was in awe of the fact that there was a “good kind” of pain. He wasn’t ready to be on the receiving end to find out for himself and you never pushed him to it. You were good, he liked that.

When his orgasm faded, leaving Bucky feeling like an empty husk of a man, he leaned down to kiss you in the middle of your back. A “good job” kind of peck that ended with him pulling out and pulling away to flop his sweaty body into your bed. There was a fuzzy blanket that irritated his heated skin and while he kicked awkwardly at it until it fell onto the floor, you were catching your breath next to him and inching closer. He wasn’t in the mood to cuddle and he closed his eyes hoping you wouldn’t expect too much. That was why he’d come over so early in the morning anyways. To see you off to work in a fun way, but at a time when he knew you wouldn’t be able to dawdle. Much to his surprise, you kissed his shoulder, the same little gesture he’d given your spine, and then rolled away, yanking a flowery robe from under his wide spread leg to pull it out. It was getting hot outside, the summer air a little too sticky when it seeped under those long sleeved shirts he preferred, but thankfully you kept a stand up fan at the end of your bed and Bucky sighed dreamily when he heard you flick it on, the artificial breeze shooting up his legs and cooling his damp skin. He’d expected you to continue your walk across the room and into the bathroom to prep for work, but your footsteps were muffled, which meant you’d stayed on the rug next to his side of the bed. Even with his eyes closed, he could tell you were watching him. Sure enough, there was a small dip in the mattress next to his head and your hand reached up to play with his sweaty hair.

“I could call in today.”

Bucky’s left eye fluttered open at the offer. You’d squatted next to the bed, leaning in one elbow to mess with the hair around his ears while you spoke. He usually liked that. There weren’t any memories of gentle touches from the last oh, 7 decades or so, and the therapist he stopped going to had encouraged him to seek out hands that didn’t hurt him. He’d found you shortly after and it felt good enough. Lately, especially today, Bucky just wanted the touching to stop making him feel so guilty.

“You’ve been gone a week, maybe we-“

“Better not,” he interrupted, rolling his head against the pillow to look at you. It felt like the decent thing to do. Look a person in the eye when you tell them no.

You were still smiling at him, but the hand that was touching him fell to the mattress. “You sure? We could stay in bed,” your voice lifted, knowing it was an extremely tempting offer. “I missed you, soldier.”

“Yeah,” Bucky offered a tight smile that probably looked even less convincing when it was half smashed into a pillow. “You should go to work.”

You licked your lips and kept them tucked in over your teeth as you nodded then stood without saying anything else. You’d get ready in the bathroom, Bucky would close his eyes again and pretend to be asleep when you emerged. You’d kiss his cheek and he’d enjoy your quiet apartment for the rest of the day while you were at work. It was how things had gone for a while. Long enough that it surprised Bucky a bit that you were still offering to stay home with him after he’d returned from a mission.

He flinched a bit when the bathroom door creaked open again and recovered quickly, waiting for his kiss before the front door closed behind you. But he heard dull footsteps pause before being replaced by the sharp sound of heels against wood. Then the rivets on your leather bag scraped over the kitchen counter and the keys jingled in your hand. Bucky waited, but the door opened then closed again without your lips stopping near his face. He sat up right and looked through the open bedroom door toward the entry, half expecting you to come back in, apologizing as you awkwardly stooped in a tight skirt to right this mistake.

You didn’t. And Bucky took it to mean that you felt it too. This whole thing was over.

He’d started feeling that way just a few weeks ago. You’d been feeling ill and he realized that he was more than happy to stay away. There wasn’t any urgency or desire to take care of you and only realized it a week later when he was coming over and you’d asked him to bring a Gatorade. He’d stopped dead on the street just outside your window and wondered if he should ask after any other needs. Or if maybe he should just assume and bring something he knew you liked. But then he spent too long standing in front of the candy rack by the glass covered register without a clue what you liked. He grabbed one of everything at first then put them all back, not wanting to admit he hadn’t been paying attention. He’d been a spy, an assassin, a marksman, a ladies man- all of which required keen observations. Yet, he’d missed this. Bucky told himself it hadn’t come up and he paid for only what you asked before heading upstairs.

After that, he started to feel off about everything. Noticing all the different things he didn’t necessarily like about- not you- but being with you. Not that it would sound any better, but once he realized he wasn’t actually ready to be in a relationship, the awkward dance began. Bucky Barnes had never been dumped. Obviously. But he’d never really had to let a girl go either. Dating was so different back when he was at it. Dates were frequent and they were fun. Being seen out and being seen with the right girls only made you more popular. It was especially good for the girls and a date with Bucky Barnes was as good as gold. Now, you and he had skipped over all the steps he’d known anything about and once you called yourself his girlfriend he had no clue what to do with you. Fumbling around for a few months didn’t yield much progress and the frustration was too much.

Everytime he thought he’d do it, he decided it wasn’t the right time… or he’d decide to kiss you instead, one last time. Last kisses taste as good as the first if you don’t really mean it and too often, Bucky found himself back in your bed instead of walking away. He’d linger in your apartment while you were at work, treating it like his own secret clubhouse and try not to think about how his mother would pinch his ear for how he was treating you. So Bucky finally rolled out of your bed and stepped into the shower.

Under the spray, he eyed the products you kept in a gray plastic bin for him and he wondered if he should throw them out when he was done. He had no use for them back in the compound, but when he pictured you coming home to find all his stuff in the trash before he’d had a chance to say something, he left the bottles where they were and toweled off. Then he dressed and checked his phone in the kitchen. You’d texted from your office, asking him if he’d meet you for dinner. He didn’t prefer going out, but he could suck it up for this. It would be easier to let you down in public. Maybe. Bucky agreed and you responded with a tiny picture of a floating yellow head. It was smiling so he slid his phone into his pocket and left it there to eye the kitchen next. Part of him wanted to leave, knowing what he’d have to tell you later. But another part of him was hungry and he knew you kept bacon in the freezer for weekends. So he stayed.

He’d changed into a set of clothes in the bottom drawer of your dresser. Just a black pair of jeans and a sweater that you said made his arms look tasty. The outfit was left after a different date and now Bucky was glad to be getting it out of your dresser. He didn’t bother leaving the city, but he did leave the apartment, knowing you’d stop home to change before heading to the restaurant you chose. He found a bar to sit at until 6:00, but while he was killing time a text message came in that ruined his whole evening.

Bucky should have seen it coming and when the toe of his boot collided with the trash can outside, he wished it was his own brain. Or heart. Or whichever other organ was responsible for putting him in this mess. He looked down toward the sidewalk and kicked that too. He knew exactly which organ got him here.

There were plenty of signs. Little moments that he ignored to soothe every selfish ache. The need for sleep, the need for comfort, the need for release, the need for something that was just his. You’d given him all of that without question, but clearly not without expectation. Dating a hundred year old soldier came with its own difficulties sure, but dating an Avenger seemed to make up for all of that. Bucky knew he wasn’t blameless, having agreed to the whole boyfriend thing knowing your name, your address, and how much he liked sleeping on your sheets. Beyond that you were a mystery to him and it seemed to be unraveling right before him.

This kind of thing was meant for Steve or Tony, the faces of the organization not the bloody fists behind them. Bucky hadn’t even considered that he was being used until FRIDAY alerted him of a sudden social media buzz that included his name circulating around the internet. Tweets and posts and fan accounts which he wasn’t aware he had were passing around a photo of him. It was undeniably him. Even without seeing it on a regular basis, Bucky could recognize his own back from a photograph. The problem was his shirt, or lack thereof, highlighting the fact that one of his arms was the color of gunpowder and twice as deadly. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out who it was.

Aside from the obvious violation, feeling like the intimate moments he’d guarded so carefully were suddenly being invaded by a world of people who didn’t know him, Bucky also couldn’t help but feel hurt as the leaked photo proved something he’d suspected, but never gave much thought to. You were only with him to be with an Avenger. He wasn’t sure it would matter who it was, you would have gone home with any member of the team given the chance. It was his face you found at the bar that night, so it was his life you slithered into without remorse. Bucky had only one desire left when it came to you— to slither out the same way.

“What is this?”

Bucky dropped the phone on the table between you and watched you wince at the loud clattering of silverware. If only you’d known his real desire was to throw the damn thing. On the screen before you was a familiar photo, one you’d posted yourself to Instagram, desaturated just enough to catch the early morning sun glinting off Bucky’s arm complete with the location “Welcome to New York” and appropriate Taylor Swift lyrics in the caption. The muscles in his bare back tensed as he looked out the window of a swanky hotel room. You’d met him for drinks in the bar downstairs when the night manager caught wind of the avenger in his hotel and made the surprisingly vacant presidential suite available for you two. It’d been a good night. A very good night, Bucky thought, before those steamy memories were spoiled in this very moment.

“Earth’s Mightiest Lover, question mark?” You read aloud, laughing at the headline, before looking up at Bucky’s face drawn tight in annoyance. “I mean, it’s not far off,” you offered casually, winking as you passed Bucky his phone back. He was unamused and watched as you straightened in your seat, tone suddenly matching the serious look on his face. “My page is private, I don’t know how they got that.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he seethed. “You posted it.”

You scoffed. “I didn’t realize this was a secret.” You sounded offended and that surprised Bucky. As if you didn’t know exactly what you’d done.

“What I do in my personal life isn’t anyone’s business,” he insisted, still standing next to the table instead of sitting to join you.

He only became aware of the other patrons watching the exchange when your eyes left his to float around the room. You lowered your voice in response. “Well, what I choose to share from my life is.”

“This isn’t about you,” he sighed, dropping his voice a bit to match yours. No reason to bring anymore unwanted attention to himself.

“It feels like it is!” Your whisper was forceful and you turned your face away from him immediately after. “Why the big fuss, Bucky? Was it really a secret?” He didn’t answer. If he’d done what he’d been meaning to do sooner, this whole thing could have been avoided and he felt more ashamed of himself than you. It wasn’t that you were a secret, per se. It just wasn’t something he knew enough about to share with the world. He was still getting used to this century, let alone dating in it, let alone being a public figure in it. There wasn’t any part of him that wanted to fail in front of an audience and he assumed you’d know that. Even if he’d never told you. “What’s the point of a superhero boyfriend if no one can know,” he heard you mutter while he was lost in thought.

Bucky froze. “What’s the point?”

“Bucky, I’m sorry,” you said quickly. The air around your table changed immediately and you’d both picked up on it. “I hear how that sounds, that sounds bad, that’s not how I meant-“ he turned around and unfortunately, you chose to follow. He heard the offended gasp of a nearby table as you scampered after him, heels a dull thud in the thick carpet. “Bucky, come on. I didn’t mean it, can we talk about this?”

“No,” he said gruffly, pushing the door open and stepping out onto the sidewalk again.

“We’ve both said things-“

“Well, I’m done saying things.”

“Wait…” Bucky stopped walking when you grabbed at his arm. You didn’t normally go for his left side. He didn’t know if it was because you found it weird or if you thought he did. Another thing he never brought up. The feeling of your hands wrapped around vibranium was startling enough for him to face you, expectantly. “What just happened here?”

“This isn’t going to work for me,” he said, watching your mouth twitch a little as you considered his words. At least he wasn’t kissing you. He still kind of wanted to, it’d become a sort of habit over the last few months. When he was wound up, like he was now, he came to you and you made it go away. Simple. Yet now it felt complicated. Like the relationship was supposed to be more but also felt like too much. He wasn’t ready for it and as long as he focused, as long as he got out as soon as possible, he wouldn’t slide back into comfortable ways.

“Bucky…” your eyes were wide and your voice broke a bit at the end of his name. “Are we… are you breaking up with me?” You asked, before adding, “Over a picture?”

No, but also yes.

Bucky knew that he should, before you got hurt, though apparently he was too late for that. Your arms were crossed over your chest defensively and he dropped his eyes to the pavement. It wasn’t the picture. It was everything. The picture gave him permission to do the right thing. Though the right thing probably would have been telling you he wasn’t interested in a relationship at all when you asked.

“Delete the picture,” he said simply, choosing not to say more. “You don’t have a superhero boyfriend to brag about anymore.” With the twisting of that knife, he felt more like the Winter Soldier again in that moment than he had in months. Cruel and beyond his own control.

It happened so fast. All of it. By the time he’d returned to the compound, half the team was waiting for him. Tony stood smugly looking like a dad that hated being the bad cop, while Steve wondered aloud why Bucky had kept his relationship a secret for so long anyways. Sam’s questions were blessedly lighthearted, but Bucky’s gratitude could only be expressed in quick grunts as he pushed through the Brady Bunch. Back in his room with the door shut, Shuri called and without really thinking, Bucky answered. He didn’t turn to face the hologram floating above the kimoyo beads on his bedside table, just let the princess talk directly at the side of his head while he listened.

“Sergeant Barnes!” The honorific was standard for her and most of the time he appreciated it, but storming out of a date like a teenager had him feeling less than worthy of any title. He was barely fit to command his own personal life at that second and being called sergeant left a sour taste at the back of his tongue. If the boys could see him now, moping about because a gal was too eager to show him off. Ridiculous.

“Bucky…” he muttered to himself, but it didn’t matter. Shuri was already rambling excitedly about something or other she’d cooked up in her lab. Under normal circumstances, Bucky would be enthralled, but he was tired. Not physically, after accidentally on purpose taking a nap in your bed before getting dressed again. Just… all the other kinds of tired that he couldn’t talk about. So while the Princess talked, Bucky hummed randomly. He didn’t think he was allowed to miss this call and stayed on the line, though his disinterest was noticeable and promptly called out.

“Why do you look like someone kicked your goat?” Bucky turned to glare at the floating head and Shuri cackled. His time as a shepherd was nothing compared to the real Wakandans who’d been perfecting their craft over thousands of years, but she’d never let him forget his ‘roots’ as she jokingly called them. Because of her he was reborn, therefore Wakanda was his de facto home. Honorary member of the border tribe and the royal family’s favorite broken white boy.

“We broke up.”

“You know,” she started in a light tone, far too playful in response to his news. “White Wolf is just a name, you don’t have to be so lonely… or mopey.”

“I’m not mopey,” he argued, but the fight wasn’t really there.

“Says the mope,” Shuri countered, sucking her teeth and shaking her head. “Nakia would twist your lip if she saw it stuck out like that.”

“Well the next time I’m in the presence of the queen I’ll let her.”

“You know Sergeant Barnes,” the youthful tone in her voice disappeared instantly. She sounded every bit of the Black Panther mantle. “It’s been a long time since a man has snapped at me like that and walked away unscathed.” There was an underlying threat that sent Bucky upright, sitting on the edge of his bed and lifting the beads in his palm. Already his posture was more respectful than it had been a moment ago.

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely and Shuri nodded. “I… I don’t want to talk about it.”

Finally the princess’s smile broke back through and Bucky was instantly relieved. “I didn’t call you to talk about girls anyways.”

“Can we skip this one?”

“No,” said Shuri, leaving no room for argument.

“How many diagnostics does one arm need?”

Shuri looked back up from the tablet she’d grabbed and squinted at Bucky. “The next time you rebuild a brain and an arm from scratch- you can tell me.”

And there was nothing to say to that, so Bucky detached the arm in question and set it down before popping a single kimoyo bead into the empty joint. He got comfortable and waited for Shuri to engage him again for another evaluation. The first year was critical, she kept saying, and he had no choice, but to agree with her.

He’d never rebuilt an arm or a brain.

While he waited for her to need his input again, Bucky thought about you. How surprised you looked when he started to walk away. Maybe you hadn’t seen it coming like he had. Just before Shuri finished with the arm, he’d decided to reach out to you. Not tonight. Probably not even tomorrow. But at some point, he’d apologize for the brusqueness of his exit. If he got the chance to.

Photo because, Bast bless this woman. She is too good for the world. Also. A mood. Shuri isn’t here to fix your relationship, Bucky. She’s a genius and a princess and a badass.

A/N: this is my not so subtle introduction to a genre I have created called, what is everybody else doing? Ok do the opposite just for fun. One of my favorite things in fic is when Bucky finds himself a girl who’s DiFfErEnT. Seriously I eat that shit up like fourth meal. But for fun, I asked, what if ‘reader’ is just like everyone else? A little shallow. A little star struck. A little in over her head. A little bit Alexis. Jk. Kind of. The excitement starts in the next chapter which I won’t wait two months to post. I don’t think.

Tags: @fangirl-swagg

[twstdreams]

HC for enemies--friends--lovers please! With Epel, Ace, Floyd💛

Everyone is a sucker for enemies to friends to lovers, including me, but that is quite a long process so I changed it to enemies to friends to crush! I hope you enjoy it.

Warning: Floyd’s section contains bullying and not respecting personal boundaries, long post

Includes spoilers for episode 1

Epel Felmier

Enemies

You two start off on the wrong foot when Epel thinks you’ve misgendered him. You were pointing towards him and giggled with your friend, saying, “She’s so cute!”

Epel immediately shuts you down and tells you that he’s a man

Being called out so publicly shocks you, especially since you were referring to the familiar beside him. But eyes are starting to linger your way, so you decide to stay silent. Besides, why was he even listening in to your conversation?

Epel is annoyed because he takes your silence for shame. You feel uncomfortable because of both the unwanted attention and the fact that Epel confronted you so publicly instead of approaching you personally, preferably without the class staring.  

Friends

Neither of you make an effort to approach the other, perfectly content staying in your own circles until you’re forced to be lab partners. It’s a little awkward but you both know Crewel doesn’t give easy assignments, so you put aside memories of your first impressions of each other.

Here and there little bits of conversation sneak in. Discussing the latest assignment while waiting for something to reduce, complaining about the mess the ghost wedding made while distilling this or that, talking about favourite foods in the cafeteria while sharing notebooks to write down qualitative and quantitative observations

The two of you find out your common interests and take turns letting each other gush. Your relationship with Epel improves and your feelings towards him morph into something more pleasant

At the end of the experiment, you get the courage to sincerely apologize and clear air. From there, the two of you become friends.

You encourage him to go for a manly aesthetic if that’s what makes him happiest while providing your opinions to help him widen his viewpoint. He appreciates the support and discovers more sides to you as your friendship continues

Crush

He loves the way your eyes sparkle when he carves all sorts of creations out of apples but crinkles his nose when you suggest he make one that looks like a Nashi pear

You two sneak out and have yakiniku to celebrate the end of exams! 

Epel feels like he can be himself without reservation around you. He’s never been one for romance or flowery gestures, but as much as he’s nervous to admit it, the feelings he has for you have bloomed into something beyond friendship. And the nervous butterflies that erupt in his stomach every so often aren’t from some botched potion either

You admire Epel’s persistence and hardworking spirit, but even more than that you crave his attention and affection in a unique way. You see Epel’s apparent distaste for romance when topics like true love’s kiss or love poems come up, so you hide your feelings. Unfortunately, even in the darkness, they continue to grow

Ace Trappola

Enemies

When you first meet Ace Trappola, you are not impressed. He radiates little sibling energy in the worst way. You can just feel that he was the youngest that tried to get away with everything with sweet words and a cheeky smile

His lack of filter is annoying but more importantly he seems to be on Riddle’s hit list. With hopes of avoiding getting collared by the dorm leader, you swiftly avoid the troublemaker. Someone who nearly got expelled and subsequently punished by Riddle on the same day was not someone you wanted to hang out with.

Unfortunately, luck is not on your side. You were minding your own business while tending to the flamingoes only to find yourself suddenly embroiled in his harebrained scheme to skip chores. 

Ace pretends to help you out but Riddle catches him in the act and now the two of you are in trouble! You, for hiding Ace, and him for trying to avoid his responsibilities. The hundreds of rules you have to copy by hand are enough to fuel your hatred for the redhead 

Friends

You actively avoid Ace until he stands up to the dorm leader. Quite frankly, since he needed to punch Riddle to get the message through, his communication skills definitely leave something to be desired. However, his action, as clumsy as they were, bring about good change for the dorm and Riddle

You’re still a little weary, Riddle isn’t that lenient even after relaxing and Ace is as blunt as ever, but you have a newfound understanding of Ace

The two of you get closer bit by bit. One day, you’re partners to paint roses, having fun practicing casting spells and perhaps keeping quiet about a hedgehog that turned lilac for a bit. 

The next day, you’re casually chatting while playing croquet at an Unbirthday party

Another day, you let Ace have the last slice of cherry pie in exchange for him teaching you a cool card trick he showed you the day before. Little things keep adding up, intertwining your lives closer together

Crush

Eventually, you watch Ace play basketball. He describes it as a casual practice but you can’t help but be drawn in by his playing style. Ace looks so cool during the scrimmage, interrupting his opponent’s offence with ease and changing the tide of the game in an instant!

His spatial awareness shines through when all it takes is a quick glance at the hoop for him to take a shot. Your heart may have skipped one too many beats when the basketball flew into the net.

As the days pass, you find yourself looking forward to his teasing. Sometimes he actually manages to fluster you! Otherwise, you two enjoy a casual banter. Or at least, that’s what you tell yourself as you ignore the butterflies in your stomach

Floyd Leech

Enemies

Are you scared of Floyd? Why yes you are, which is why you go out of your way to avoid him. The way Savanaclaw students quake in fear when they accidentally bump into Floyd is enough to confirm that you should steer clear of the belligerent eel

Unfortunately, this sentiment is one sided. Floyd has taken to calling you glass catfish because you’re both horribly skittish around him and your terror is clear! He thinks it’s cute how you assume crowds will keep you safe and you do your best to not be alone.

Quite frankly, it’s a one-sided animosity. Floyd thinks you’re funny while your torment is his pleasure. You try to keep your calm but his relaxed comments of breaking bones and the looming threat of being squeezed keeps you on your toes

Honestly, you’re a little miffed. First of all, why is he so fast? Secondly, there must be others to scare. You’re sure Azul gives him enough work in that aspect. And finally, how are you supposed to memorize all these mushroom species and history facts when Floyd has deemed you his current favourite squeaky toy?

Friends

You always assumed Floyd’s squeeze would be a horrible experience of organs being rearranged and the nasty sound of something snapping. So when the first time he embraces you and it’s the feeling of warm, strong arms curling around you protectively, your brain short circuits 

You had been fuming and more than a little annoyed so when you crossed paths with some rowdy students, instead of spitting out some standard apology and being on your merry way, you snapped back! And, like most students at NRC, they didn’t take kindly to it. 

It feels ironic that you had avoided Floyd so fervently but in the end, you only had yourself to blame for stirring up trouble. Magic battles were most definitely against the rules but you didn’t have any intentions on letting some fireballs scorch you either

Yet your opponents quickly withdraw when Floyd chimes, “Let me join in!~” And for once, you’re happy that Floyd is around. It must show on your face because in the midst of drawling about how boring it is now that the tension is gone, he breaks out into a smile

“You’re grinning glass catfish!” It’s the first time Floyd ever makes you smile and it’s far from the last 

Your friendship is very much a give and take affair. You learn to go with the flow, but you put your foot down as necessary. More than you expect, Floyd can be amendable to your demands. He’s still as chaotic as ever though, hedonistic almost to a fault

Crush

You two have a takoyaki adventure! Cooking with Floyd is nothing short of chaotic. For the first half, he’s bored and pacing around. You chop up ingredients and he not so secretly snacks on them. Then when it’s time to fry the takoyaki in the molds, he’s suddenly over-pouring batter and eating them almost as fast as you make them! By the end, you didn’t even get to take a picture of the takoyaki you two made but his goofy grin and lips covered in sauce engrain themselves into your memory

“I could eat you up too!” he comments with his signature laugh and it does dangerous things to your heart.

“Please don’t!” you squeak out hastily but you can’t help the flush of heat that comes with embarrassment nor the hasty hand gestures as you avoid his gaze. Your pulse starts to increase rapidly, but you know it’s not out of fear

You won’t complain of boring days anymore. For now, you let the current take you where it will. And if that destination happens to be romantic, well you’re not one to fight the waves

[inkdemonapologist]

In our BatIM Call of Cthulhu game we had a pretty crucial/magical bit of the Ink Machine stolen, and Joey has whisked us off to New Orleans to track it down. You would think the music boys would be having more fun here, but thINGS ARE ALREADY GETTING WEIRD

“His eyes hang throughout the city” was a phrase that the others found scrawled on the walls of JDS after Sammy had one of his Prophet episodes about a week ago, but it wasn’t until Sammy and Jack got the distinct feeling that the strange symbol cropping up on local banners was Watching Them that Sammy started to fear his ink-induced prophet rantings may have been, uh, actually somewhat prophetic!

Anyway if y’all want some out-of-context quotes from session one, THIS IS THE READMORE FOR YOU:

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee)and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Sammy] (I can't believe Joey Drew is going to hecking die.) [Jack] (I can.)

[Henry] How early in the morning is it? [GM] Around 2 AM [Henry] Ohhhh god,... [Henry] Henry is groggy but alarmed, because Joey doesn't usually call this late unless there's an emergency, or maybe if he's veeeery drunk. [Sammy] Prohibition DID just end! [Henry] Well for Joey's sake it BETTER be an emergency,

[Joey] Joey just requests Henry to get down to the Studio, because there's something going on. [Henry] Oh god, it IS an emergency!

[Joey, after calling both Henry & Jack] Once Joey has exhausted all routes-- [Sammy] That's it! That's all of Sammy's friends!

[Jack] (Someone broke in, started writing on the walls, and Prophet Sammy was like, eXCUSE ME!! That's MY job!!!)

[Sammy] Sammy didn't notice the newspaper, he's just got someone accusing his alter-ego of being a false prophet. Or, himself, accusing someone else of being a false prophet! Unclear. [Jack] Could be both. [Henry] Duelling prophets. [Sammy] (dueling banjos plays in the distance)

[Jack] Jack just adds it to the bullet point list in his head of: "Things That Happened In Haiti???"

[GM] Sammy and Jack both notice that Henry's eyes are glowing. [Sammy] WELL that hasn't happened since UHHHH... HAITI? [Henry] Oh. Shit. Fuck. Um. Listen, I took a LOT of that potion. [Sammy] What's happening now? [Henry] ...sometimes I can still see things. [Jack] Jack's just thinking, yeah, sure, this can happen! Just add it to the list!!!!

[Sammy] But yeah, I think that wraps it up, tomorrow will be a normal day, at Joey Drew Studios. Gonna actually do normal animation, and sound, and nothing weird will happen, [Sammy] [Sammy] ...and Joey will NOT drag us off to New Orleans-- [Joey] *interrupting immediately* aCTUALLY, ABOUT THAT,

[Joey] Joey gathers everyone in his office and informs them that he will be going to New Orleans to try to get the stone back. [Sammy] Good luck. [Henry] *resigned sigh* Henry will come...

[Sammy] *sarcastically* Fantastic. I'll come so I can stab you if you cut yourself again. [Joey] *cheerfully* Great! That's wonderful!

[Jack] Jack isn't sure how much help he'll be-- [Joey] Think of it as a vacation! [Sammy] I've heard this before... [Jack] -- but he will... hesitantly agree, [Joey] Great! We won't be wasting any train tickets now! [Joey] He immediately pulls out itineraries for everyone.

[Sammy] *to Jack* It will be nice to have someone sensible. [Henry] Offended Henry noises! [Sammy] OH SORRY, you apparently never thought to inform us that you can just SEE secret golden messages all the time, so you've been knocked out of that category!

[Sammy] Sammy's still a little iffy on the idea that he ever agreed to go on the Haiti trip. [Jack] I mean, you just agreed to go to New Orleans! [Sammy] That was SPECIFICALLY for the purposes of potentially stabbing Joey in the eye.

[Henry] (Can we bring the Lurker with us?) [Sammy] nO he's gonNA DIE!! [Henry] Ah dammit, that's right, [Jack] Nooooo! Our emotional support cartoon character!! That's the real reason Jack needs to come. [Sammy] Yes, Jack, you're our backup emotional support cartoon.

[Sammy] The last time I brought my banjo on a vacation it got snapped in half and I bled on it so maybe I won't do that this time. [Jack] But how will you stress-play banjo? Emotional Support Banjo... [Henry] Bring one of the banjos he doesn't care as much about! [Sammy] *laughing* Sammy just, standing there in his apartment, looking between like three banjos, trying to make thIS AWFUL CHOICE,

[Joey] He just needs something to fiddle with, [Jack] To stop Sammy from getting violin-t, [Sammy] (SHAZZ is gonna get violent in a second!!!)

[GM] These eldritch bad guys don't seem to be above appropriation. [Sammy] Time to cancel the Masked Messenger.

[GM] Jack notices that Joey is still wearing his gloves and hat to have coffee indoors, apparently. [Jack] Hm!.... I mean, I feel like Jack has no right to judge!

[Sammy] He should not bring Sammy, because Sammy is no help in talking to humans, but here I am anyway. [GM] That's what Jack is for! [Jack] I thought Jack was here to hold things. [Sammy] That's good too, he's doing a good job. [Joey] He's holding onto all these terrible What Happened In Haiti facts! [Jack] He's holding onto the brain cell.

[GM] You notice that Joey apparently brought a hip flask and is making use of it. [Henry] Watcha got there? [Jack] Share with the class! [Sammy] You can't have it unless you brought enough for everyone.

[Sammy] Once Jack's sharing all the information he magically acquired from just looking pleasantly at this man -- [Jack] It's called friendship, Sam.

[GM, reading off a reporter's notes] "I see that yellow sign thing in my dreams..." [Joey] That definitely sounds like the weird ass bullshit that we're chasing... [Jack] I don't know, it's clearly unrelated!

[Joey] Joey's actually going to come up behind Jack and ask if Jack can talk to the guy up front for him. [Sammy] wh... [Sammy] ...jOEY DREW??? [Jack] First Sammy delegating, now Joey starts asking people to talk for him? Next Henry will ask Jack to start doing the animation!!

[Sammy] That sure is an icebreaker. [Jack] So, how about cults, huh?

[join-the-joywrite]

But suddenly from somewhere out of the blue, I see a different light around you.

For Anon: Julie and Luke, family friends, end up sick together. While cooped up sick at Julie's, a little conversation leads to a lot of secrets.

A/N: skdjje I am so sorry it took me this long to get to it sjjdje and this kind of got away from me once I finally got into writing it oops.

Special thanks to @i-spit-on-fire for the title!! Love you, doll 🥰

Julie Molina had a great friend circle. She loved each of them equally. Well, maybe Flynn got a bit more than everyone else but then again, Flynn had also seen Julie throwing up the last time she had food poisoning so maybe Flynn deserved a little extra love for sticking around past that.

The only person in the circle that could contend for Flynn's level of appreciation in Julie's eyes was Luke Patterson. And it was only because her mom and his dad were childhood friends, which, naturally, led to Julie and Luke growing up childhood friends.

Despite their close friendship, Luke and Julie rarely interacted at school. They had their own, smaller, circles and that was perfectly okay. Their circles merged after Luke and his friends played live music for Julie's theater performance when the radio gave out without warning. Well, to get more specific, it was some time after Alex and Willie started dating and involving both their friends on lunches and hangouts.

So yeah, things were great, school was fun and they all had a bunch of fun together. They even planned to visit an amusement park that Saturday too.

Unfortunately, the trip to the amusement park seemed like it was gonna have to wait.

"I told you not to hug me," Julie grumbled through her stuffy nose.

Luke pulled a face for her. "I didn't. I hugged my mom and then you hugged my mom. I'm not at fault here."

Julie sighed. "You think she's sick, too?"

"Nah, mom's got a great immune system. She probably just has a slight cough."

Just then a coughing bout overtook Julie. Leaning forward in her chair, she took a few deep breaths, relaxing as she felt Luke's hand moving in slow circles on her back. Slowly, her breathing returned to normal and the sharp ache in her forehead subsided. When she sat back again, she leaned her head against Luke. "I hate being sick. This is all your fault."

"We've just been over this. I didn't hug you."

"Potato, pot-ah-to."

Luke rolled his eyes. "You know you're heavy, right?"

Julie's response was to stop half-supoorting herself and drop all her weight on Luke's side, nearly sending them both off their chairs.

"If you weren't so sick, I'd . . . I'd pinch you!"

"You mean, if you had the energy to do it."

"Yeah, whatever," Luke managed to say before he coughed too, albeit much less than Julie. "Think your mom will drop me home?"

"You live right next door, idiot. Obviously."

When Rose walked into the nurse's office, she sighed at the two teens. "We told you two to stay at home. Come on, let's go."

As Rose pulled into her driveway, Luke thanked her for the ride.

"Where do you think you're going, mijo?"

"H-home?" Luke asked uncertainly, his hand on the door handle.

"Your parents are out of town for the weekend."

"Yeah," Luke nodded, "I was gonna stay over at Bobby's but I don't wanna make him sick--"

"Well, Julie's already sick anyway. You can stay with us and when you're feeling better, you can go over to Bobby's."

"But--"

"Mijo, I'm not asking," Rose said, staring at Luke in the rearview mirror, daring him to get out of the car.

Julie snickered at the fear in his eyes as he settled back into the seat and waited until Rose had pulled further up towards the house before attempting to get out again.

"Why don't you two go get comfortable on in the living room, hm? I'll put some food up for you and it'll be ready before you even know it."

Julie yawned as she trudged past Rose and into the house. "Can we sleep instead?"

"Absolutely. Go get some rest, okay? Luke, if you're tired, you can sleep in Carlos' room. He's spending the week with Victoria so it's all yours if you need, okay?"

"Thank you," Luke managed before a yawn interrupted him.

Rose ruffled Julie's hair first, then Luke's. Now, what could she feed them that they'd manage to keep down?

"Sorry I made you sick," Luke mumbled.

Julie shrugged. "It's okay. Flynn said she was gonna drag me on the biggest rollercoaster first so in a way, I'm kinda glad we won't be going tomorrow."

Luke rolled his eyes. "You do this everytime we go. Just get on the rollercoaster. It's not that much bigger than the one we went on last time."

Julie stared at Luke over her bowl of soup. "I passed out."

Luke shrugged. "It makes for a good story!"

"For you!"

"Don't yell, Julie, you don't have the lung capacity."

Julie scrunched up her nose and mocked Luke in a high voice. "You don't have the lunch capacity."

"Oh, real mature."

Julie blew a raspberry at Luke. A raspberry that turned into a cough. Luke was out of his blanket in a second.

"Julie?" Rose called from the kitchen. "You good, baby?"

"I got it!" Luke called back. He knelt in front of Julie as she hunched over and rubbed her back in small circles. "Easy, Jules," he murmured.

"I hate being sick," Julie said for the umpteenth time, resting her chin on Luke's shoulder.

Luke froze, one hand on Julie's arm, the other on her back. What was he supposed to do now? Just . . . hold her?

"I know," he said soothingly, "you'll get better quickly, don't worry."

"Ugh, I hope so." Slowly, Julie pulled away and eased back into the couch.

Luke pouted, only because he wanted to stay holding Julie in a gentle and comfortable embrace. He scrunched his nose up and quickly shook his head. What the hell was that all about?

He was back in his corner of the couch, under his blanket, when Rose arrived with a glass of water for each of them.

"I'm going to get dinner running and when I come back to check on you two, those glasses better be empty."

"Yes, mom," they chorused.

It wasn't really a big thing. Luke called her 'mom' often. Julie even called Emily 'mom' if she happened to be over at Luke's. But that didn't take away from Rose's (or Emily's) absolute delight over being called mom by her honorary child.

"Sorry I made fun of you when you first got sick," Julie mumbled.

"It's okay," Luke said with a slight laugh, half paying attention to Julie and half paying attention to the TV. They'd taken a good nap and were already feeling better. "Karma got you, I guess."

"I guess."

"You got it bad, though," Luke said, glancing at Julie. "I never coughed like that."

"Exhibit A of why I utterly detest being sick. The headache is unbearable sometimes." Julie gave Luke a small smile. "But it's okay. I should already be feeling better by tomorrow."

Julie turned her gaze back to the TV. Luke didn't. He kept his gaze on Julie, watching her carefully. He'd always had the natural inclination to want to care for Julie, but until then it had always been small things. Wanting to make sure her cuts and scrapes got a band-aid. Wanting to check in with a simple text when she was sick. Wanting to be sure her work was up to date when she missed out.

But now . . . now it was a little different. It wasn't really strange, but he couldn't quite understand it. Why, when she complained about her headache, did he want to pull her close and try to distract her from it? Why, when she hunched over coughing, did he want to be by her side, holding her close and trying to ease the fit? Why, when she paid him no attention, did he want to just sit there and watch her?

Julie glanced back and Luke froze like a deer in headlights, his already pink cheeks growing redder. Julie grinned. "Is that the fever or are you shy about something?"

"Definitely the fever," Luke said quickly.

"Uh huh," Julie said with a grin, turning back to the TV again. "I think you're pretty cute too."

Luke shrank into his blanket. "I didn't say that."

"Your face said enough, Patterson."

"You really think I'm cute?"

Julie looked at Luke, who had the blanket wrapped over his head as he pouted at her. His flushed cheeks had calmed to the usual pink whenever he was running a fever. She couldn't help but smile. "The cutest."

He beamed. "I think you're pretty cute too. Wait, that's what you said--"

"Cute," Julie mumbled under her breath, shaking her head and turning back to the TV. She was surprised by Luke suddenly dropping his head in her lap. She grinned, amused. "Hi, there."

"Hi. I want attention."

"Well, mom said she was just gonna make sure Carlos' room is clean enough for you to walk without getting impaled by a Lego brick but I'm sure she'd be happy to listen to your gibberish when she's all done."

"I want your attention."

"And I wanna watch the season finale."

Luke turned over to glance at the TV. "You've seen this episode at least six times. I know because five of them were at my house and youd already seen it once before that."

Julie flicked Luke's nose lightly. "It's my favourite, leave me be."

"Fine, but I'm staying here."

"Okay, just be quiet."

Luke felt like he had left the land of the living when he felt Julie's fingers in his hair. She had absolutely no idea what she was doing and somehow, the fact that she was playing with his hair on autopilot made him giddy.

"Can you put this on the table for me, please?" Julie asked absently, resting her empty glass on Luke's shoulder.

He did as she asked, just managing to reach the coffee table.

"Thank you."

Bored but unwilling to move, Luke began to pick at the threads on Julie's bracelets. She rested her hand on his chest, knowing he'd start whining if she took the bracelets away.

"Who made this one for you?"

Julie glanced at her arm to see Luke playing with a blue string, her name strung on in letter beads, a star bead on either side. "You did."

"Really?"

"I think we were about eight or nine. That was when Flynn got her bracelet set and we spent so many lunches making bracelets. You got jealous because I kept wearing Flynn's bracelets so you made one for me yourself."

"Huh," Luke said, "I don't remember, though."

"Not surprising. You were running a fever then, too. A pretty high one. Your mom gave you cough syrup and you got a burst of creative inspiration. Haven't you heard her tell the story? It's one of her favourites."

"I hear the words 'when Luke was little' and I instantly tune it out."

Julie laughed. "Sounds about right."

Luke watched the smile linger on Julie's face as she watched the episode she knew by heart. God, she was so pretty.

Luke scrunched his nose up again. Yeah, Julie was pretty and yeah, he'd always known that. But in the way he knew Flynn was beautiful and Carrie was stunning. In the way he knew Reggie was adorable and Bobby was cute and Alex was a gorgeous. In the way he knew Willie was magnificent. It was just something he'd always known. He and his friends were hot as hell and that was just a fact that they all seemed to know.

But laying with his head in Julie's lap, watching her unconsciously smile at his own antics, it seemed like a brand new thought. How could someone he'd known his whole life suddenly look different?

"Julie."

"Hm?" Julie didn't look away from the TV.

"You're really pretty."

"Thank you," she said, smiling wider. She lightly tugged a lock of his hair. "You're pretty, too."

"No, I mean, like, really pretty. Like . . . ultra pretty."

Julie scowled at Luke. "What did you do?"

"Nothing! I just . . . I just really like your smile. It's so. . ."

"Pretty?"

Luke nodded. He poked her cheek lightly. "I like when you smile."

"Yeah?" Even if she wanted to, she couldn't hold back a smile.

Luke smiled too. "Yeah."

Caught up with Luke's spontaneous declaration, Julie mised her favourite part of the episode -- the one where they finally had their first date. But Luke didn't.

"When we get better," he said slowly, "when we're not sick anymore . . . Do you think we could go out together? Maybe next weekend?"

Julie nodded. "Absolutely. Flynn already texted about rescheduling--"

"No. No, I mean . . . like a date. Just you and me."

"Oh," Julie said softly, eyes wide.

"Oh? Julie, 'oh' is what you say when you get socks for Christmas."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm just . . . surprised. I thought I worked out this crush thing and then here you are, asking me out and all I can think is that I wasted so much energy trying to stifle it all down when I could've just asked you out myself like two years ago."

Luke blinked up at Julie. "So, is that a yes or a no? I'm a little confused."

"Oh, only a little? Yes, you dork."

Luke suddenly yawned.

"Tired?"

"Only a little."

"Go to sleep," Julie said, using the same tone Rose had used on them both earlier.

Luke thought it was going to be pretty difficult to fall asleep when Julie was sitting there, threading her fingers through his hair like she had no idea how fast she made his heart beat. But it barely took him a minute before he was out completely. With a yawn of her own, Julie quickly followed.

Carrie snickered softly. "Quick!" she whispered. "They're waking up!"

"Okay!" Willie whispered back. "Okay, hold it up."

The bunch of them gathered behind the ridiculously large cardboard posted they'd thrown together the moment they arrived after the text from Rose.

Blinking tiredly, Julie and Luke sat up and took a few seconds to focus on the grinning faces in front of them.

"Congratulations!"

Julie and Luke both turned several shades redder (not by any fault of their ebbing fevers) as the group thrust the banner forward. It's about damn time.

"Shut up," Julie mumbled, retreating under her blanket to hide her face.

Luke scowled. "You could've said something!"

"Watching was funnier," Alex admitted.

As he did, the front door opened and in walked Ray. He took one look at the scene before him and groaned. "I can't believe I lost a full ten dollars."

"You bet on us?" Julie shrieked, throwing the blanket off.

"Well . . . yeah," Ray said, "your Tia is very persuasive."

Julie shrank back into the blanket, groaning in embarrassment.

Rose gasped. "Someone get Emily on the phone! She owes me five dollars!"

"Mom!"

But despite the embarrassment that was their family, Julie and Luke were very happy to have finally admitted their feelings -- to themselves and to each other.

Neither of them could wait for next weekend.

[sunshine-stars]

Deja vu

Flynn remembers some of her happy memories with Carrie. Then they see her Instagram posts with Kayla doing the same things.

Inspired by Deja vu by Olivia Rodrigo

Word count: 2707

Car rides to Malibu

“We’re going to Malibu? That’s awesome!” Julie exclaimes.

Carrie laughs a little. “Yeah, my Dad has to meet with some business people there and didn’t want to leave me alone so he invited you guys too.”

Flynn’s over the moon. They’ve been to Malibu a few times, most of them with Carrie and Julie, and it’s always so much fun. It’s about an hour one way and it means that they have a little road trip, which is always more than a little chaotic.

“You know I’m in,” Flynn answers, smiling. Julie agrees and they make plans to go the next day, after asking both of their parents.

“You’re stealing all of the sour keys! How dare you?” Flynn yells at Carrie. She knows that they’re her favourites and she’s eating them all, the traitor.

Carrie huffs. “Only because you’ve already eaten half of them and I want some too!” Her lips are slightly stained green and Flynn can’t help but look at them. They’re probably so soft.

“You’re just lucky that the green one’s aren’t as good as the orange one’s, or else I’d have to kill you,” Flynn replies after a beat too long.

Julie takes a sour key and between bites says, “You’re both wrong, the purple one’s are the best.”

“Of course you think so little miss purple,” Carrie teases.

Julie gasps. “Hey! Flynn’s the shortest, not me!”

“How did we get back to this?!” Flynn groans. “Weren’t we just talking about how Carrie’s a thief?”

“I am not! You’re the hoarder, you made me take them. Besides you being the shortest is so cute and fun.” Carrie raises an eyebrow with an evil little smile.

She’s obviously trying to get on Flynn’s nerves, and she’s succeeding, but why does Flynn’s heart speed up when she calls them cute? Why does her mind go blank for a second as they feel very happy?

She shakes her head a little to steady themself. “You do realize that you’re stuck in a metal box with me, right? Where I could kill you and no one would know. So I suggest you shut your mouth before I make you.”

Carrie coughs a little as her face goes slightly pink. Julie’s just looking knowingly at both of them. What just happened?

Carrie’s Dad turns around in his seat to look exasperatedly at them, though there’s a little smile on his face. “Settle down kiddos. Flynn please don’t kill my daughter, I love her. Carrie please don’t try to aggravate Flynn. Also why can’t you all just share the sour keys? You all like different flavours.”

“Because once Flynn finishes all of the orange one’s she eats all of mine and Carrie’s,” Julie responds like something weird didn’t just happen.

“It’s not my fault that there’s always less orange one’s! It’s not fair! Why aren’t you also telling off Julie she participated in this?” Flynn frustratedly and loudly says.

Carrie’s Dad sighs. “Julie wasn’t yelling and trying to annoy you two. Why do you and Care bear always get into silly arguments?”

Julie mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like, “It’s because these two idiots are in love with each other and won’t admit it.”

Flynn glares at her, but she just flashes her perfect little angel smile. Julie’s so sweet that no one expects her to be a little devil, it’s stupid.

Flynn suddenly realizes that Carrie has been very quiet. They turn to look at her and she gasps. There’s only one sour key left… and it’s an orange one.

“Bubblegum, Pinky Pie, Sappho, lollipop, sweetheart, love of my life can I please please have the last sour key?” Flynn quickly rambles.

They just have to get the last one and she’s not above begging for it. So what if her begging includes calling people sweet pet names to bribe them, and so what if they do it more with Carrie? It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a coincidence, right?

Carrie looks down and avoids their eyes, her cheeks turning even redder than before. Is she okay? Why has she been acting strange? Flynn has no idea, but they hope for the best.

“Well since you asked so nicely, soda pop.” Carrie hands her the sour key. If Flynn didn’t know any better they’d say she was flustered, but that can’t be right.

Flynn flashes Carrie a wide smile as they start to eat the delicious treat.

Strawberry ice cream, one spoon for two

“You said you didn’t want any ice cream.” Carrie crosses her arms and glares at Flynn.

“That was before I saw how good it looks, and I love strawberry. It’s like the best flavour and it reminds me of you.”

Julie sighs and looks at them disapprovingly, but also slightly amused. “Flynn honey, you said you didn’t want any because your stomach hurt from all those sour keys. Ice cream will only make it a lot worse.”

“I’m feeling better now,” Flynn argues. “Besides now that I want it it’s all that I’ll be thinking about. Do you really want me to be constantly thinking about and bugging you for ice cream? I have seven sodas all the time. It's fine.”

Flynn may have a massive sweet tooth, but how can she not when it tastes so good.

“That’s not healthy and I still don’t like it,” Julie scolds.

Flynn just shrugs in response. “Okay, mom.”

Julie throws her hands up in the air and Flynn turns back to Carrie with pleading eyes.

Carrie just sighs and passes it over. “You’re lucky I like you, babe.”

“I know, sweetie.” Flynn thanks the universe for it everyday. They have no idea where they’d be without Carrie, and frankly, they don’t want to know.

Flynn ignores the fluttering in her chest as they take a bite of the strawberry ice cream and almost moans. The cold sweet fruity taste is so refreshing on this warm day.

It’s a shame she has to share it with Carrie, they want it all to themselves. The thing is that Flynn would do anything for Carrie. Sharing ice cream with her is the least they can do for this truly amazing girl who somehow loves her.

And trading jackets

Carrie wraps her arms around herself. “This ice cream is making me cold.”

Well that’s not allowed. Carrie is this warm ray of sunshine in Flynn’s life and she’s just not allowed to be cold. Not when Flynn’s wearing a perfectly good jacket.

“Here take mine.” Flynn passes it to her with a smile.

It’s their jean jacket that has a bunch of patches and embroidery that Flynn either bought or made. There are lesbian and nonbinary flags that they all put on together after she came out, along with a hundred other things that all have a special meaning. It’s precious to her. If it were anyone else they’d be hesitant about letting someone wear it, but it’s Carrie, it’s a no brainer.

Carrie looks up at them, rubbing the fabric between her fingers. “Are you sure?” She has a hesitant and caring look on her face. She knows just how much Flynn loves the jacket.

“Of course, Sappho.”

Carrie smiles softly as she puts the jacket on. Flynn has to catch her breath. She’s wearing their jacket and she almost explodes.

For a second Flynn wishes that they were dating. That she was giving their girlfriend her favourite jacket. That she could wrap her arms around Carrie, kiss her perfect lips, and ramble about how gorgeous she looks and how her wearing their jacket makes her feel so happy. It’d be something out of one of those cheesy rom coms that they watch to make fun of, but secretly like.

Flynn’s daydream is interrupted by Julie’s laugh.

Laughin’ ‘bout how small it looks on you

“It’s so small on you,” Julie says between giggles.

Flynn looks at it again and sure enough it’s too small for Carrie. They’ve had it a couple years so it’s a little small on Flynn, but it’s too sentimental to throw out and it still fits. On Carrie the sleeves come up a bit too much above her wrists and she can’t really button it up.

It should be something for Flynn to laugh at like Julie, but it almost adds to the charm of Carrie wearing their jacket. The imperfections make it real. Besides, perfection never lasts. Robert Frost said “Nothing gold can stay,” but this isn’t gold. It’s as precious as it, but maybe, just maybe, this can last. This moment, their friendship, hopefully it can stay.

Watching reruns of Glee

“Seriously? Why is Rachel always in the spotlight? The rest of them have good voices too,” Flynn complains. Their legs are thrown over Carrie’s lap as they watch a random episode of Glee

Carrie scoffs. “I have no idea. I’m passionate about being a singer, but I’m not that self absorbed. You don’t always need to be the lead.” She leans back on the couch more. “Besides, I can sing better than her.”

Bein’ annoying

“Not self absorbed, huh?” Flynn teases.

They know that Carrie has an absolutely angelic voice that they’re constantly in awe of. She can definitely sing better than Rachel and she’d fight anyone who disagrees. It’s just that teasing Carrie is so much fun. Basically half of their relationship is bickering with each other. Julie says they act like a married couple, but she always sees stuff that isn’t there.

“Shut up.” Carrie moves Flynn’s leg off of her.

Flynn gasps and looks at Carrie with a horrified expression. “How dare you?! Do you not love me anymore?! Betrayal of the highest order! Dishonour! Dishonour on your whole family! Dishonour on you! Dishonour on your cow! I can’t even look at you right now. My heart… it hurts.” They dramatically turn away from her and sigh, acting hurt.

Flynn doesn’t even have to look at Carrie to know that she’s looking at them with an exasperated expression on her pretty face. After a minute she feels a body lay on top of them.

“Can you please stop being such a drama queen? Of course I love you, you idiot,” Carrie says quietly into their ear.

At that moment Flynn realizes just how close Carrie is to her. She’s pressed up against them and her face is literally a breath away from theirs. She has to fight not to get flustered at the fact that this gorgeous girl is oh so close to them and how they are so aware of her every little movement.

Flynn swallows. “Says you, and what happened to babe?” It’s the best thing she can come up with at the moment.

“You’re still the love of my life, soda pop, but when you’re being a bit of an idiot I’m gonna call you an idiot. It’s how it works hun.”

Carrie can’t just say that. Especially not when she’s this close to Flynn who feels like they’re going to combust. It’s just not fair how she doesn’t have a single coherent thought in their mind. Her brain cells have decided to go on vacation to leave her speechless, which they very rarely are.

Flynn doesn’t even bother to wittily respond, partially because she can’t, so they just half watch the episode of Glee that’s still playing and enjoys the moment.

Singin’ in harmony

“For the last time bubblegum, I can rap, but I can’t sing.”

“Come on, at least try. You can’t possibly be as bad as you think,” Carrie pleads as the sun sets around them, painting the world a soft pink.

Carrie looks breathtaking in this glow against the pink sky. Pink has always been her colour. The shade doesn’t even matter, anytime she wears pink Flynn just has to do a double take. Not that she doesn’t look incredible in everything else, pink just kind of enhances it even more.

“You’ve heard me sing, pinky. Don’t act like you haven’t. You know it’s terrible.” Flynn walks slightly faster. If they keep looking at Carrie against the beautiful sky she’d do anything she asks.

Carrie puts a hand on their shoulder, making them stop for a moment. “Yeah, but I can’t remember the last time I heard you sing that wasn’t just singing terribly on purpose to random songs on the radio. Please, I promise I won’t make fun of you.” She just looks so genuine as she says those soft words. It’s enough to make Flynn fall head over heels for her once more, but really, she does that every second they’re with her.

“Maybe later. We’ll try to sing in harmony together.” Flynn takes Carrie’s hand. “Let’s go watch the sunset by the ocean.

Carrie smiles widely and Flynn automatically does the same

I bet she’s bragging to all her friends , sayin’ how you’re so unique

Unfortunately, Flynn never got the chance to sing in harmony with Carrie.

Flynn told herself she wouldn’t look at Carrie’s Instagram, but they just couldn’t help it. She misses her so much and it’s better than nothing, right? Plus Carrie hasn’t blocked them, and Flynn hasn’t either.

There’s a picture of Carrie and Kayla in Carrie’s Dad’s car. They’re both smiling and looking at the camera and eating some kind of snack, but Flynn can’t quite tell what. The caption says that they’re on a road trip to Malibu.

The next post shows Carrie and Kayla sharing strawberry ice cream at an ice cream shop in Malibu, there’s only one spoon. Carrie is wearing Kayla’s beautiful trademark purple jacket.

A picture of them watching an episode of Glee, both sprawled out on the couch together. They’re smiling widely and just look so happy.

Then a post of the two of them posing at sunset, the sky a soft pink that makes Carrie look angelic.

So when you gonna tell her that we did that too?

Carrie did all that with Flynn. They carry the memories so close to her heart. They mean so much to them. They’re a reminder of how it was before, when it was good, when they were all happy.

Now she’s doing all that with someone else. Flynn’s not jealous, but they don’t understand how Carrie’s able to do all of this. Flynn can barely think of road trips, strawberry ice cream, her favourite jean jacket, watching glee, and pink sunsets without being overwhelmed with her feelings and memories of Carrie.

She thinks it’s special, but it’s all reused

Flynn can’t help but wonder if Carrie does all of these things with her friends. She’s obviously allowed to, but Flynn kind of thought she was special. They thought that maybe there was something else there. That maybe their feelings weren’t completely one sided, but that doesn’t matter anymore.

That was our place, I found it first

They both found that ice cream place in Malibu with Julie. It became a tradition to go there every time they went on a road trip there with Carrie’s Dad. It was important to them.

That post hurts slightly more than the rest. Flynn saw that place the first time they went to Malibu and dragged them all in. They wish she could go there again with Carrie, but that’ll never happen. Not after… everything.

I made the jokes you tell to her when she’s with you

Do you get deja vu when she’s with you?

Carrie has to get deja vu when she’s with Kayla, right? She can’t have just forgotten everything they’ve done together. Their entire friendship.

They were as close as could be for years, and now they’re nothing. The girl she knew and loved isn’t quite there anymore. Now she’s been replaced by mean comments and rude looks. Flynn hopes that they can get back to where they were, but it’s not likely.

Do you get deja vu?

Flynn gets deja vu when looking at her posts. She gets a sudden wave of nostalgia and wants to look through her closet to see her favourite jacket and all of their clothes that are connected to memories of Carrie.

Their friendship was as precious as gold, but just like in the poem, it didn’t stay.

Taglist: (send an ask to be added) @lyxchen @sunnysbright

[selenitawars]

Pressentimento

Never Be The Same - Part 7.

Pairing: Sam x Daughter!Reader, Dean x Niece!Reader, Castiel x Platonic!Reader.

Summary: To save Dean’s life, Sam changes a big part of his past, hoping that he’d only forget memories with his college girlfriend. But, not only he changes his life, he also creates a new one.

Word Count: 2332.

Warnings: None.

A/N: Yes, I’m back after over a year and a half. I know I’m a dumbass for making y’all wait for so long, but, honestly, I want this to be a fun writing, so I try not to pressure myself. Won’t make promises. Either way, always love to know your opinions. Hope  you enjoy this comeback haha!

Pressentimento masculine noun 1. act of feeling in advance, more through emotion than reason, the occurrence of a future fact; suspicion. "I have a p. that this will not work" 2. knowledge of what will happen, obtained by intuition; forecast, hunch, omen.

You still hadn't explained everything to your father nor your uncle. Cas remembered one of the episodes that occurred with you when you were younger, around ten or so. It was hard for you. Every time you tried to explain yourself, things were hard to explain. All the time, something blocked you from exposing the fear inside you, the fear of letting things out.

The way their "new" memories came to them didn't help. It was so unpredictable. Cas remembered you praying first and then, mixed memories, tiny ones, which made him assume a lot about you already; and worry as well. Dean remembered more, like the time Sam was soulless and you lived with him for months, you concluded he was remembering things by the impact they had in his life. As for Sam, well, apparently things were coming more chronologically for him, but a little late, since he also had a lot of Camila to remember.

You tried to think how to talk to them about your crisis. The big ones. It was so complicated. When it started happening, you had your godmother to help with calming down and understanding how sensible you were; but even Vanessa had to talk with the Winchesters to fully understand what made you so much stronger and sensitive. Anyway, she wouldn't help you now that she was in the list of people to whom you never existed.

Oh, and your mother...

Looking at pictures of her nowadays became an addiction. You couldn't sleep before searching a little more about her, not that you've been having much sleep or any of this helped. You wish so bad you could talk to her. And now that Sam told ya you reminded him so much of Camila, you really studied her, trying to find the resemblance.

How would you tell them there's more? More of you to worry. You wanted to wait for a time when the memories hangovers weren't so heavy on them. They were all trying to act normal, but it was obvious - you've never been at home for this long, they were never so quiet. Dean wasn't even drinking, to make sure he wouldn't be more confused.

You were lying down on your bed, trying to ease the headache. It was normal to have a day just to be tired, but after the all day just resting you still got a headache by night. Went to get a pill to make it better and when you swallow it, you realize something.

"I don't exist." You whisper to yourself.

For the first time in that day, you felt useful. Even with the headache, you got in front of the computer and started to do your thing. For some reason you got happy when you confirmed your theory.

"I was never born."

"You gotta stop thinking about that." Dean warned you.

"No, I mean... I don't exist."

The three men stared at you with confusion, you repeated.

"I don't exist."

Still nothing. The room was filled with silence while you hoped for the clicking in their minds. It never came. You sighed.

"I never existed! Never did anything!"

Sam looked at you like he was starting to worry, while holding a bowl with cereal. Just like Dean, who chewed his, probably thinking you've gone crazy.

"I don't understand why you're so excited saying it." Cas finally said.

"Isn't it obvious?" They once more, didn't react. "There are no records of me, at all. Nobody knows about me. I only left the bunker once."

"What's your point?" Dean asked.

"We should keep it that way."

"What? Why?" The brothers said together.

"Well, if nobody knows I'm here, we're in advantage. It's always good to have a secret backup, right?"

"Like... as a surprise element?" Castiel suggested, you nodded. "Y/N, you don't truly expect us to treat you like a secret weapon..."

"Hell no." Dean agreed.

"It's not like it."

"Well, I don't see your point." You father stated. "I know this seems messed up, but, we can fix it. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried, I'm thinking!" You made them quiet. "C'mon, think with me: I barely left the bunker, how could anyone know about me?"

"We know about you." Dean answered.

"But you've seen me. And your memories, are just yours, this doesn't mean the world knows about me."

"Ok, but you'll need to use an ID sometime. Or will you live forever here, inside the bunker?"

"Dean, you should know it's easier to make a fake ID look real if there isn't a real one to prove the fake one as fake."

Sam took a deep breath.

"Ok, so we leave it as it is. How much long do you think it would last?"

"Not much, I know. But at least, for a while it could be useful."

"I don't see how, Y/N. I'm not using you as my secret-spy-soldier or whatever."

"Sam is right. It's not worth it."

"Castiel?" You looked at him, only to find the agreeing look. You looked down.

"Look, how can you be sure nobody else remembers you?" The angel tried to clear your mind.

"For most people I know, I never happened. And the others, will probably only remember me when they see me, if they do. Until then..."

"That's not right." Sam interrupted. "I had this feeling about you, before we arrived on that day; like I left something behind, but I couldn't remember why."

"So did I."

"I got one your prayers for not getting news from us." You stood there, silent.

"That's it? A feeling you forgot something?!" You left for your bedroom, a little ofended they didn't listen to you. Your idea was good, logical. You genuinely thought they would see it as a good thing out of all this.

Reflecting on it, you finally notice: you may not know your family as well as before. At first it sounds crazy, but this is all crazy, ain't it? And after doing their exercise for a couple hours, thinking about your childhood, the events that crossed it and when it all began, you got yourself some questions.

You fell asleep while still thinking, trying to find logic somewhere and always getting to the same point, a lost point. Somehow while sleeping, you had no dreams, didn't wake up once; not even the fact that you were with a jacket bothered you.

"Hey, man. You good?" Dean noticed Sam squeeze his eyes.

"Yep. Just those flashbacks. I hate to have them by day, but I can't sleep no longer."

"Like a constant hangover, thank God it's not a heavy one." Sam did not answer. "Sam?"

"Right..." Sam stared at the floor, seeing stuff in his mind. He blinked multiple times after a little.

"You all right? You seem shocked. What did you remember?"

"It's just... Y/N's suggestion."

"Dude, that was today."

"Very funny!" Dean smiled a little to ease his brother. "It got me thinking. Why would she want that?"

"Honestly," Castiel entered suddenly. "I think she is trying to get something good out of this."

"Good? I see her point, but..."

"Not good." Cas interrupted, correcting himself. "Useful, at least."

"It's not as useful as she thinks." Dean says as if it's obvious.

"It's the only thing she has to offer." Castiel putted it in a weird way, but made sense. They silented for an instant. "Still, how does that has to do with your flashback, Sam?"

"I thought that maybe I should listen to her. Maybe there was a point."

"You, Sammy, considered the possibility of being saved by her?"

"Obviously not. I wondered: what if her non-existence helped her get away from this craziness. Like, she could get to any school if we put some effort."

"You concluded it fast." Cas commented.

"Well, yeah. Then I... questioned." Sam felt the gazes at him. "How did she get dragged into hunting in the first place? Why did I not stop it? And one more thing popped up: why did I leave college?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Dean couldn't understand his brother.

"Dean, if it wasn't for my anger towards Jessica's death, who knows..." He explained. "So why I left Stanford, making Camila stay behind and after weeks drop out too?"

Castiel took a seat.

"Why did you?"

Sam opened the door, showly. You were in your bed, far from his atmosphere, enjoying a rest you needed. He passed the door carefully, took a look at your room and turned the lights off. Ever since that hunt days ago, when he saw you sleep at the motel bed while he was reading about the case, the day he woke up before you and as you slept in the car coming back home, Sam felt peace as he watched you.

It was the moment he could breath easily and a little relaxed. You were resting, next to him, nothing could hurt you in your sleep. There, you were safe and wasn't leaving soon. So he couldn't help watch you once more; just stood by the door for a couple seconds, smiled at the taught of you having a break from this madness for some hours. Grabbed the door and heard your move, turning to check if he had woken ya.

"Sorry."

"Don't be." Your voice sounded lazy. "I have a light sleep."

"So do I." You nodded. You knew it. He regrets commenting it.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

"No, tell me." He understood you couldn't sleep anymore.

"You don't want to talk now."

"It's about earlier, I know." You said while rubbing your eyes. "Just spit it." He gave in and sat in your chair.

"Why do you wanna do it?"

"Why don't you?"

"Why would I?"

"You've always wanted this." He gulped.

"What? No!"

"You never wanted me to be in risk, you hated the fact I made you all vulnerable, now nobody knows I'm here. I know this isn't permanent and things can change, but for now, you could finally be at peace. Nobody knows me, none of you have to worry."

Samuel digested everything you said and got his answer prepared fastly enough.

"For a long time I asked myself if Jessica never died, would I be here? And you know, as things turned out to be, as I found out more and more throughout the years I got the answer." He paused. "I would. Because if it wasn't Jess, it would be Dean or dad, or a friend."

"What do you mean?"

"I left college for revenge." You got surprised. "It wasn't Jess. Not anymore." That sounded weird. "I made a choice and I know now that somehow, at some point, no matter how many times... I would make that choice again. As soon as somebody I care about got in danger. So I left college. For you."

Sam got back from his first hunt after two years. Camila was waiting. They talked and she was serious when she told him to call Dean. Leave as soon as he could. She said she had a bad feeling, he had to find his father. Was something repentine, fast and clear - the fear in her voice stopped Sam from questioning.

"The way she talked to me... her eyes, getting sudden tears. At first I tried to calm her, jokes on me, I blamed her hormones. Camila proved me wrong. I knew she had that sometimes, like with tests or bad decisions, maybe something simple like knowing staying in was better than going to a party. She was always right. If not totally right, fast enough to avoid regret." He looked down as her voice came to his head and repeated her words. "'This is your family we're talking about, Samuel! Your child's grandfather.' She screamed. I was scared." You two laughed a little. "She begged. Aggressively. But, I didn't leave because she did."

"Why then?"

"I called Dean to get back there and pick me up because once we talked, I got that bad feeling too. And was suddenly afraid. Afraid something would happen to either of you." You stayed silent. "I hoped things would be more simple, soon I'd be back and things would go back to normal. You would be born and grow up, normal. We would be a family..."

"Please, don't say normal." He smiled.

"Your mother's bad feeling... I don't know what is was about exactly. She got scared too in that moment and it was the only time I saw her that scared. But I know that mine became true. Only, it was even worse. There was no blame. Of all things that happened in those months, how worried I was with my father, you, Camila and even Dean... The hunts, the confusion and overwhelming information all at once. The fear. Your mother's death was the most sudden and painful." You saw a tear run down his cheek, followed by a couple more. Sam had more to say but you spoke before, in the heat of the moment.

"She knew." He looked back at you, now with red eyes. "I think she knew something bad was going to happen."

"She knew we would be in danger." By we, he meant himself, his uncle and your grandpa.

"No. Not that. She knew that something terrible was happening already and would get worse. But she didn't tell you to go to stop it." His tears froze, lost in your words. "Like you said. Camila was always right about this bad feelings. She was certain." You were sure thanks to your own experience with it.

"About Dean needing me more than her?" You denied.

"About you needing the rest of your family once I was born."

[nautiscarader]

Gangbang - Zahra takes a simulation with five plixel Hectors (from episode 9 of S2)

(Ao3)

================

With somewhat trembling hands, Zahra Rashid opened the door to the large and empty simulation room in the Hinobi HQ. On one hand, she knew she had full permission to enter here now, as a senior employee.

On the other, though, she also knew what she wanted to do here...

Only a few blinking lights illuminated the room, giving it an eerie vibe, like most Hinobi control rooms. Zahra turned on the main system, and with beating heart she waited.

And she let out a satisfying sigh when she did not hear annoying voice of the helper she could now completely turn off. Zahra stepped back, made sure to lock the door and once she stepped onto the simulation deck, she ran the plixelisation program.

For the past weeks, ever since Nix has showed her how powerful plixelisation can be, she trained hard to master that skill tree. And while crafting weapons out of nowhere was fun, her motives would not exactly run along the company's policies...

Even though she knew very well what, or rather whom will she see in a moment, she couldn't help but feel giddy and ecstatic. Slowly, a crystalline, life-like figure of Hector Nieves appeared in front of her, greeting her with a simple wave of hand.

At once, Zahra got on her tippytoes and clapped her hands in response. But her smile turned positively euphoric when the engine continued rendering and four more Hectors appeared on the stage.

But now it was time for her program... she plugged the stick and ran it, her hands shaking slightly. The virtual window opened up, welcoming her with a few rudimentary settings - she was never good with UI elements, but those can be easily fixed later. Zahra set the mode to level 3 - "gallant" - and waited for Hectors to approach her and start treating her according to her desires.

Five men surrounded her, each giving her welcoming, gentle looks, to which Zahra replied with a nod and a warming smile, and only then the five Fives proceeded.

Their firm, but delicate fingers touched her, and she let out a gasp, as shivers ran down her spine, in expectations of the things to come. Hector in front undid her chest piece, while the two helped her lift her arms to remove it. The other two took care of her utility belt and the dress-like lower armour.

Zahra let out another girly giggle when two Hectors took a knee in front of her, and took her kneepads, while two more did the same with her gloves, gently sliding them from her hands. It was then when her skin was covered with goosebumps, as her palms received two simultaneous, gentlemanly kisses.

Zahra shivered when one Hector faced her and brought his hands to the hem of her underarmour. Without even thinking, Zahra lifted her arms in gesture of defeat and submission, and in a single move, she was disrobed, standing now in her multicoloured bra.

Then came the problem of her leggings, but to combat that, two Hectors joined their hands and effortlessly lifted Zahra as if he was a queen sitting on a throne, just so a third one could take her boots and leggings off, revealing her smooth, long legs.

She spun around, giving her five admirers the sight of her underwear, a matching set from last SuckerBox lootcrate, depicting Slide the Ferret and his companions. She knew Hector would love them...

But as much as she would like for him - or rather them - to admire her taste in geek clothing, Zahra preferred if her lovers took interest in what they were hiding from plain view.

She let out a soft murmur when she felt one of Hectors fumbling with her bra. Of course, they normally wouldn't have a problem with them, so she added a randomised timer, to simulate a real boy's struggles... Six seconds have passed before her breasts were freed, and she felt four hungry stares ogling them.

But that wasn't enough for her, and soon she was properly moaning when two Hectors joined forces to caress her nipples, circling them with their lips and fingers, utilising a fair more unpredictable algorithms to trace all sort of shapes, whose randomness drove Zahra wild.

She threw her head back, and at the same time her whole body was tilted, once more by two Hectors, who still had one piece of her clothing on her lower body to remove. Fifth Hector dragged his hand over her belly, making Zahra lift her head and stare into his eyes, as he dragged her panties down.

Zahra spread her legs, giving her lover enough space, and when she felt the material around her ankles, she knew they have done it. The Hector that disrobed her ventured between her thighs and gently kisses her underbelly, sending a wave of pleasure across her body in a taste of what was to come.

But still, there was one last piece of attire, the one covering her hair. And only she could undo it. As she slowly undid her hijab, she watched as her lovers became seduced by her long, raven-black hair that flowed freely.

She took a good, long look at her five admirers, and gathering all the strength not not fumble her line, she asked them a line she always wanted to say.

- Wanna play some multi?

In one second, the layers of clothing covering Hectors were disabled, and Zahra lost air in her lungs at the sight of five naked bodies of her crush, all surrounding her.

She gasped as five skinny, but muscular young men gathered around her, proudly showing how excited they were at the prospect of being with her. Her eyes moved from one crotch to the other, as if expecting to find some differences - she must remember to add tiny variations next time...

She was once more brought into the air, and one by one, each part of her body was subjected to Hectors' delicate lips. Her legs, ass, breasts... and finally her lips, when Hector Nieves kissed her, making her close her eyes and let the bliss she has dreamed about consume her. For a while, she wondered in how much trouble would she be if she passed out and was found here by her boss...

But she was brought back to reality - or rather a half-simulated one, at least - when one brave Hector ventured between her legs and took a long lick across her folds, letting her juices drip onto the floor. Another one joined him, concentrating on her clit. Ten fingers and two tongues worked their way around her sex, overflowing with her lust, while her back arched every few seconds in response to new wave of pleasure that rocked her body.

Meanwhile, the two other Hectors covered her breasts with kisses with meticulous precision - and she made sure of it, as their tongues followed a space-filling fractal curve to ensure every point of her mounds would be caressed.

Her hands weren't idle, though. As her kiss and caresses continued, she ventured down the chest of her lovers, until her fingers coiled around their cocks, and she shivered, feeling his texture and rigidity in her palm, as she pumped them.

At this point, hovering her clearly became too awkward for a love-making position, and Zahra had to postpone taking care of her lover to push a few buttons and plixelise a more practical solution.

A bed was rendered, though even from her distance, she could count the individual pixels on the low-res texture, as opposed to crisp rendering of Hectors. But it didn't matter, after all the bed, an asset borrowed from another game, was the least important part...

She hopped on it, and at once was welcomed in the cradle formed by two of her lovers, in a way so that their cocks would fit right in her holes. And with satisfying giggle, Zahra lowered herself, feeling as two crystaline, fake dicks slide in her ass and pussy at the same time. And the fact that she was facing Hector made her forget that the entire thing was an illusion, especially when he kissed her again...

Two pairs of hands closed around her waist, and the three began rocking back and forth like a well-oiled engine, generating moan after moan from her with each alternating dive. Zahra stretched her hands to caress her other lovers' cocks, fondling their testicles, and listening to their groans.

But there was a fifth Hector, and he soon reminded her of himself, where her kiss was interrupted. She felt his hand on her cheeks and gently turned her head left, only to be met with a well-modelled head of his cock, inches from her lips.

Zahra did not wait, and claimed him as his, throwing away any pretence and any shame she might still have. She wished the simulation could produce taste and smell... she was sure she would be light-headed now, with his masculine musk filling her mouth and nostrils. Sadly, she only got the texture and warmth that still gave her some impression of him. After all, she smelt his cologne just this morning...

But Zahra was eager to try something new this time. Though she revelled in listening to their moans, and would love to stay between them, she had to interrupt them, just so she can command them.

- Okay, I-I want both of you here and here!

And she reached her hand to open one extra window and unticked a few checkboxes.

Her lips curled into a wide smile when she saw that it has worked. One of the Hectors from the side reached for the place where the front one was sitting... and effortlessly passed through him, as if he was a ghost. Same happened to the one behind her. But when she reached between their legs...

Zahra giggled. She still could feel their lengths, proving she disabled correct collision layers. But of course that was just half of the challenge, arguably the easier one. She swallowed loudly, and let her lovers push forward.

At first, she thought she would feel pain, but the knowledge of what, or rather who was stretching her walls turned it into a bliss, one she couldn't have quite imagined. She threw her head back, getting caught by the fifth Hector and given another taste, for lack of better word, of his cock, and the five resumed their play by filling her with five cocks at the same time.

With each inch deeper, her climax was coming stronger and stronger, and when Zahra came, she welcomed four mouths kissing her and soothing her shaking and thrashing body, together with eight arms sliding across her entire skin...

But there was, of course one last thing to do. A feature borrowed from every sex simulator ever, the orgasm-meter has been blinking for some time, highlighting the "Cum" button.

And without a moment to spare, Zahra slammed it.

Her eyes bulged when fake liquid entered her mouth and warmed her insides with each pulse that flooded her. Pulse after pulse, five Hectors supplied her with their fake potent seed, emptying themselves in her ass, mouth and into her womb...

She tried swallowing some of it, but soon realised that it was a bit much, even for her... She quickly dismantled her lovers, and on shaky legs fell to the floor, but that didn't stop them, giving her occasion to see the fluid rendered in action.

At this point, she realised she must have added another 0 to the amount of cum in the while loop, but truth to be told, she did not care, and it was too late to fix that.

Streams of warm, gooey fake cum covered her legs, breasts face and of course her hair, adding to the seed that already have poured out of her pussy, ass and mouth. Zahra was sure she climaxed again just when that happened, adding to the craze and depravity she put herself through.

Basking in the simulated warmth and stickiness, Zahra flicked what would be layers of seed from her eyes and looked up, at five of her crushes. Adding to the visual obstruction, her mind was still hazed by the pleasure, but she slowly recovered, and grinned at the six figures towering over her...

At that moment, she knew she was in trouble.

Because one of the figures wasn't as tall as others, and wore a much different expression than them. A mixture of surprise, admiration, slight disgust and oddly enough triumph, all painted on Miko Kubota's face.

- M-Miko?! - Zahra spoke, trying to close her arms and legs, as if that was the most offensive part of her new visage. - Well, well, well... - a sly smile appeared on her face - Guess the cat is out of the lootbox, you really DO have a crush on High Five!

Zahra could taste the sarcasm dripping off her voice.

- Lucky for you... you're not the only one. - she said and approached the console - So let's see who's a bigger fan of our boy Hector here?

Zahra was about to protest, but Miko's fingers touched the buttons. At once, five more naked Hectors appeared, and as Zahra looked at Miko again, she watched her playing with tenderness setting.

The notoriously glitch-happy girl punched the down arrow three times. From 3 to 2, to 1, to 0...

Zahra let out a gasp, choking on fake cum still in her throat. She knew what was going to happen next. She planned 10 to be the maximum, but that limit was only hers...

With another press of an arrow, the counter rolled back... to 255.

At the same time, all ten limp cocks sprung back to life, and something told Zahra they will stay that for a long time.

She supposed she should be happy it wasn't 16 777 215.

[fizzingwizard]

Go ahead y’all ask me how I am... do it, I DARE you... after Digimon Adventure: episode 50 - the 1999 equivalent of which, I feel compelled to mention, was “Jou’s Battle,” when Taichi strategically splits his group apart with the goal of gathering the whole team for the final confrontation - I think my emotional state can best be described like this:

meme so funny haha

but the truth is I’m very sad. I just can’t with this show anymore. I don’t know if I’ll continue to review future episodes. Actually, as I was watching this one, I thought it was the final episode, even though I knew there were supposed to be more and it hadn’t been hyped as the finale at all. I just thought, “What else can they do after this? It seems like the kind of ending this shitshow would get. At least it will be a relief to not watch it every week anymore.”

However, let’s be clear that this is NOT the finale. I’m gonna watch till the very end, but idk if I have it in me even to make these depressing little reviews. At first it was fun, then it was meh... I held out and the show got fun again, but the last month or so have been such a drag. And this week’s episode is just the final straw. So we’ll see.

Anyway real episode review below the cut. Warning: I hated everything except for Taichi’s face so it’s mostly caps of him.

Pic of the day:

“At this rate... I’m gonna request a transfer to Boruto...” /Sanpei Yuuko joke

More below

Last week big bad Millenniumon appeared to be resurrected. Here he is.

Totally lacking a clear motivation other than “destroy the world...” Even in appearance, ALL of Devimon’s evolutions mid-season were WAY scarier.

Turns out Taichi and Agumon have faceplanted on this hunk of rock, which immediately breaks off and sends them catapulting earthward.

Wind noise what? Taichi and Agumon encourage each other while freefalling.

Agumon: Hey shouldn’t we have broken every bone in our bodies by now

Taichi: I once broke my leg tripping over Hikari’s hairbrush. This is starting to seem silly.

Meanwhile the others awaken inside what Tailmon explains is a cut-off dimension created by Millenniumon, where they will eventually fall into a dreamless sleep forever and ever.

Millenniumon’s power is immense and he makes volcanos erupt. So his power is he gives the earth digital acne.

Yamato evolves MetalGarurumon and stars just attacking the walls (of... the endless void... lol). This appears to slow Millenniumon down in a total rip-off of the way cooler way Koushirou slowed Diaboromon down in Our War Game.

The Holy Digimon are inspired by Taichi’s courage to fight wheeee I didn’t realize they were having problems with that

no kidding

Taichi fights a lot and escapes certain death a lot. Even when he and WarGreymon take a head-on hit and are sent spiraling into the ocean. Still fine because THE POWER OF BELIEF

Chumbawumba: I get knocked down but I get up again you’re never gonna keep me down

WarGreymon is able to knock the black ball thingy out of Millenniumon’s mouth. This is fortunate because it’s what contains Yamato and friends and now they are able to free themselves thanks to the Holy Digimon, who randomly start acting like the Crests are important. But since we don’t know what they are *cough* they just call them “everyone’s hopes!”

Now let’s interrupt my mocking to appreciate an adorable Taichi waking up face:

Alll the d’aaaaawwwww

... Aaaand his back is broken x’DDD

The HolyDigimon have evolved to Ultimate level! More on that later. First, they divided the group in halves with them, because because. Hikari gets Taichi, Sora, and Koushirou, and Takeru gets Yamato, Jou, and Mimi.

So yes... those Ultimate evolutions... Tailmon becomes Magnadramon and Patamon becomes... GODDRAMON, GOD OF STEELY ABS

no seriously thats all I could think. Magnadramon is all soft and fluffy looking and then Goddramon is like “I HAVE SMALL HEAD HUGE BODY ABS ABS UNTIL KINGDOM COME, VERY MACHO”

He punches Millenniumon in the mouth, of course.

Millenniummon considerately starts to melt. Thank you, Millenniumon. We wouldn’t want Goddramon’s ego to get bruised.

There’s a few good attacks here - I liked Magnadramon’s Apocalypse attack - but like who even cares. The animation is so half-assed that there’s nothing really to appreciate.

Just when it seems Millenniumon’s defeated, he comes back like... this. It’s enormous. Even Koushirou’s digimon analyzer doesn’t know what it is.

Lopmon does though!

bahahaha

but wait what’s this

sparks! are they fireflies????

no they are the hopes and wishes of all the Digimon we’ve met on our journey! how lovely and inspiring! what are they saying?

hopes and wishes: I DONT WANNA DIE I DONT WANNA DIE I DONT WANNA DIE

now I shall spam Taichi looking adorable while being as cliche as an anime protagonist can get.

Good heavens, WHY. WHY WHY WHY. I looooooove Taichi (obviously) but WHY is he the one fighting here?? First it was Taichi, then it was Goddramon/Magnadramon, and now it’s... back to Taichi??? FOR WHAT REASON???

I mean the reason is, we don’t know anyone else well enough to cheer for them the way we cheer for Taichi. As cool as the Holy Digimon are meant to be, I guess the one thing the producers realized is that, uh, they’ve only spent time building up Taichi (and even that, while they’ve done a lot of it, they haven’t done it well).

Kinda cool death scene.

Our heroes wake up no worse for the wear. Millenniumon is gone. Everyone is together and happy. I’m just spamming Taichi again.

his face when Mimi gives him the corsage

Taichi: “Wtf, what is this, is this supposed to mean something??? also didn’t we see this burn to a crisp a few frames ago??”

And we end with a blue sky, which is both the most beautifully animated frame as well as the most Digimon Adventure-like scene in the entire episode -____-

So, like I said, I was all prepared for this to be the inauspicious ending, despite what I’d heard about the number of episodes. But nope, there’s more. Although I’m frustrated beyond belief, I’m somewhat relieved because this does mean there’s still potential to recover somewhat from this utter train wreck of a battle. The big problem is that Millenniumon is a TERRIBLE villain.

The other problem is that the show HASN’T been terrible the whole time. It’s been up and down a lot, but the ups were very much there, and they gave us some stuff I found pretty interesting. Like, I really wanted to know more about what the heck went down between Taichi and DoneDevimon - the fact that only Yamato has any idea about it (Takeru too but he’s a baby) hasn’t been addressed. Then there’s the connections between Devimon and Angemon, SkullKnightmon and Tailmon. Those have been addressed, technically, but they left sooo much room for more.

Then there’s things like the kids’ family situations - my guess is we’ll end up back in the human world at some point quite soon - which were hinted at back when most of the team was exiled to the human world. Really want to see that expanded on.

Mosty of all, what gave me any positive vibes about this reboot at all was the first three episodes, which were pretty good overall - did a lot of things different but still preserved what I felt was most important. We saw Koushirou coming into his own, Yamato being standoffish and slowly opening up, and Taichi being the glue that keeps things together. Those first three episodes are arguably better than the rest of the show combined. And I bet it’s no coincidence that they predate covid-19 (sort of - I mean, covid was already a thing and around, Japan just hadn’t started caring much about it yet).

Episode 4 is when we started hitting misteps, and that’s also when the show went on brief hiatus due to covid. It never got back what made those first three episodes so promising, even during the highs.

I’ll make a list of the things I liked sometime, but I suppose the main points are the ones I mentioned above, plus the arc with Ogremon, and the kids getting new evolutions not seen in 99 Adventure (well, by “kids” I mostly mean Taichi tho - but I thought it meant everyone would get them. Technically, Takeru just did.)

So yeah. I’m  so done with this show and the things is, I just love Digimon Adventure so much, it meant so much to me as a kid. I didn’t expect the same show. I think my expectations were set at a reasonable level, though I knew I had to be cautious about comparing the now and the before too much. This show just hasn’t been able to live up to 99 Adventure, but that’s not even my issue - it’s that it doesn’t live up to other current children’s cartoons either. It’s got no heart. Just think about that, Digimon has got no heart. It’s literally all about the connection between kids and their partners, kids and their friends, kids and their families, and it has no heart! That is failure. It says to me that something got confused in production - there wasn’t enough money, or there was too much staff turnover thanks to covid, etc, and people just lost sight of the story they were planning to tell.

That’s what I think happened. It can’t be fixed at this point, but I’ll still watch till the end and hope for the best. At least maybe I’ll get more Taichi pics to spam.

I probably need to rewatch 99 Adventure soon to get my soul back.

Next week, apparently the Crests will finally matter. My hope is that this whole debacle with Millenniumon is gonna turn out to have been a cover for something much bigger and less boring going on. Millenniumon didn’t even get a villain monologue. He reminded me of the way Mugendramon had been somewhat, more like a puppet than his own person. Makes me wonder if the Vademon were up to more than simply resurrecting a vanquished evil. Here’s hoping.

[2018shawn]

quarantine and chill

warnings: I haven’t written in a while so this may be sucky but have fun kids. not proof read : ----) nsfw/sexy times

“I already rearranged your wardrobe three times because for the first time in my life, I couldn’t watch another episode of Friends!” She exhaled, slumping herself down onto the second wheeled chair, her weight shifting the leather seated pew a few inches away from her other half who sat opposite, legs opened wide, still engaged deep in his work.

“You did?” He smirked somewhat, finally diverting his eyes away from the pages in front of him and swivelling his chair to situate himself completely parallel to her crossed armed, sulking figure.

“Yeah… I mean, first I did it in sleeve length, because you might want to dress weather appropriate. Then I didn’t like that, so I changed it to style of item, so all your tee shirts, then all your shirts, then all your sweaters etc etc…” She was rambling, but it made him smile. His heart was warm with the little gestures she’d always put into their relationship and she didn’t even know she was doing it. He also loved how her hands would wave around expressively every time she would babble on about things that weren’t particularly of any importance, just like she was doing now. He stretched out his arm and wrapped his fingers around the pad of the seat where her legs weren’t covering as she’d somehow pulled them up, holding them close to her chest. With one swift tug, the chair glided along the studio floor, only stopping when it came into contact with his own chair, disallowing for her to be any closer. “But then I eventually decided on colour order, which isn’t of any practicality whatsoever, but… it looks pretty” She shrugged, outstretching her legs to rest over his thick thighs which were unfortunately covered by his I’m in isolation sweat shorts.

His hands synchronously, starting at her ankles, traced her soft legs, leaving a trail of goose pimples behind from his delicate touch. He’d always wondered how someone could get their skin to be this level of soft 24/7, but she always insisted that it was just down to the vanilla pumpkin body butter she used all year round, despite the fact it was a seasonal fragrance. “I’m just… BORED” She groaned, not allowing his hands to get any higher than the bottom of her own gym shorts, because that was just too much of a dangerous territory for his hands to be in without her feeling like melted butter. He happily allowed their hands to entwine, more than approving of any bodily contact with her. Her legs were still strewn over his, their bodies looking like a complicated position of figures, but to them, it was the most comfortable thing in the world.

Her bum was barely resting on her own seat, and was more supported by the way her legs slotted through the arm rest of his chair mixed with the strength of his arms, feeling the need to try pull her as close as possible. “I’ll finish up here, bub. I’m sorry” He apologetically smiled, but he knew full well how much she understood his need to keep in contact and communicate with his team. He followed his statement by tugging gently, but strongly enough to shift her weight, allowing her body to completely disconnect with the office chair she was sat on. He pulled her close enough so that their chests were almost touching, and for once, she was towering over him due to the sitting position they’d found themselves in. She attempted to look down at his chiseled features, wanting nothing more than to stay this close to him forever, but her wild hair fell in front of her eyes, restricting her view. She blew on it several times, in an attempt to move the auburn, bouncy waves but failing miserably.

Laughing up at her, he untangled his fingers that were still being held captive in hers, and brought his hands up to push her wild lion-like mane behind her ears. “Hi...” he almost whispered, more than happy to see her stunning features smiling back at him.

Just as she was about to reply, he cut her short, to her surprise, his lips landing on hers with the softest yet eager passion, almost as if his life depended on the kiss. She moaned quietly into his lips in return, which made his dick twitch with lust beneath her as she unknowingly turned him on, just like most days. He wanted her more and more each second that past. And that feeling was more than mutual. 

Their lips were wet, making up for the time he’d been working in his home studio and she’d be pottering around upstairs in an attempt to put a stop to her boredom. His hands tangled in her now extra messy hair, whilst hers balled up the fabric of his shirt in her hands. She was the first to pull away, finishing the romancing with a nose boop. He’d never understood how someone could be incredibly, painfully sexy at the same time as being adorably sweet. “Shawn... I'm...” Kiss. “So...” Kiss. “Bored.” She finished with a smile, wriggling her legs in an attempt to try and get out of the locked position but failing immensely. 

Ironically, the force of her pushing down in an attempt to try and get herself up was not helping the situation happening in his gym shorts and he wasn’t sure if she knew. She of course, did know, and was an expert at playing him to his weaknesses, knowing absolutely full well he loved nothing more than for her to be on top of him. 

“Let’s go on a date.” He blurted quietly, face still as close as could be. She screwed up her face which way by far her normal reaction to a suggestion such as this. “Erm, Shawn... I don’t know if you’ve spent that much time down here you’ve forgotten there’s a worldwide PANDEMIC...” she theatrically began, “meaning you, nor I, are in any position to leave that god damn front door... unless it’s time for our daily 60 minute walk outside” She rested herself on the studio desk, careful not to lean back a touch too much and start pressing a bunch of buttons she had absolutely no idea how to work. The one time he left her in charge to press one single button, she ended up deleting the backing track and setting his microphone to auto tune. Still to this day has he never even figured out himself how to do that. 

“Doesn’t mean I can’t wine and dine you” He smirked, mirroring her movements by placing a hand either side of her, the muscles in his arms bulging as he gripped onto the wooden surface so he didn’t fall for her more than he already had. She never showed any signs of feeling it, but she was hot. And bothered. And everything in between. 

“Oh...” she quietened, cheeks blushing slightly crimson after her dramatic reminder that they were in fact in quarantine. 

“So, if it’s possible, go make yourself look even prettier than you do now and meet me in the kitchen at 7pm” he smiled, fingers finding their way back to her soft hair, and not for the first time this evening if he had anything to do with it. 

She pressed a hand to his chest, and tried to make it look like it didn’t take all of her effort to move his firm body. They both knew it did, and he was smug. She walked away with just a touch extra of a hip sway, not needing eyes in the back of her head to know he was staring like a 13 year old boy. “It’s an... isolation date” she smiled, turning round to look at him again, her figure leaning into the doorframe, fingers tapping on the sound proofed walls. The walls that had heard their screams so many times before. The walls he wished she wasn’t walking out of right now. 

--

She was humming along to some summer walker song she barely knew the name of, applying her favourite shade of Milani lipstick to accentuate her favourite facial feature - her lips. It was a loud hammering on the bedroom door that snapped her out of her concentration, only then just realising how loud her music was playing. The banging repeated when she didn’t respond. To say she was confused would be an understatement; the only person would it would be is Shawn, so why in the heck wouldn’t he just walk into his own bedroom like he normally does without a care in the world? The third attempt of a knock was what interrupted her make up routine in order to swipe down on her phone screen to quieten the music, although she couldn't help but laugh at the same time before she walked over to the door. “Shawn, this is your room you...” She flung the door open and became instantly speechless. 

It wasn’t Shawn. It was a greek God with muscles almost bursting out of his black, crisp shirt. A jawline that could cut a bitch. Curls that could make her go dizzy. With another harsh blink and fresh breath, it was only then she realised it was Shawn. “...dumb-ass.” She finally finished her previous sentence, unknowing whether she’d been staring at him for 5 seconds of 5 minutes. 

“That’s not a very nice way to address your date...” He began, pulling his arm from around his back and stretching out towards her, his hand holding a single pink rose, “dumb-ass.” How he’d managed to pull a ‘date night’ outfit out of the bag without having access to his room baffled her, but it didn’t take too much of her thought, it simply just left her stumped for words - which is something she wasn't often. “You look incredible” He continued, aware of the silence from her, but instead of pointing out and making a deal about it, he prompted her.

“So do you” She smiled, reaching and taking the rose in one hand, filling the void with her own fingers. He welcomed her gesture, but instead of pulling her in like he normally would, he simple raised her hand and placed a sweet, gentle kiss on the back of her hand which only made her giddy with butterflies. 

“Care to join me downstairs?” He smiled, not letting go of her hand and holding it as if he had no other choice. She nodded, feeling nothing but warmth and first date nerves - although it was far from their first date. They chatted on their way down the stairs, Shawn one step below her at all times, making sure he was her weight - he knew high heels were not her strong point. They were most definitely his weakest when it came to seeing them on her. 

Some dumb joke he told her on the way into the kitchen made her belly chuckle, almost that much she didn’t see that vast amount of candles and decoration surrounding the dining table that sat adjacent to the open planned kitchen. The white, marble table was covered in tea lights, illuminating the room bar the under cupboard lights shining from the kitchen. A small gift bag was sat in what would be her normal seat. The seat where she'd eaten many a breakfast, cried and laughed uncountable times and on the odd occasion, ridden Shawn until they both physically couldn’t move. “What... I... How?” 

He turned around to face her once he’d realised she’d stopped walking and began walking backwards, watching her speechless features taking in every little detail. “If we can’t go for date night, I'll bring date night to you” he shrugged, eventually reaching her chair and pulling it out for her before ushering to have a seat. 

The next few moments were spent opening the bottle of wine, which she was grateful for, and both of them getting back to as normal as can be. “Thank you” She interrupted his story on how he’d tried to do something fancy with some asparagus but of course it failed miserably. 

“What for?” He laughed, placing the white wine back into the wine colour and lifting her glass towards her, prompting her to do that same. She obliged happily, and the room was filled with the sound of a clink. 

“This, it’s beautiful” 

“Beautiful setting for a beautiful lady” He took a large sip of his wine, as if he needed the liquid courage, to which unbeknown to her, he did. He laughed nervously, and she instantly knew he was up to something, because the Shawn she knew only shuffled around on his feet and lingered for 2 seconds too long when he was waiting for something to happen. “God, I was going to wait until after dinner but, can I ask you something?”

Bingo. 

“Anything” She smiled, using her heeled foot to push out his chair for him, realising that if he didn’t sit down soon he’d probably end up on the floor. He couldn’t cope with it; the sexiness, mixed with the politeness, mixed with the bare leg that he so desperately wanted wrapped around his neck. He snapped himself away from that thought, picking up the small bag he’d place on her place mat, fiddling with the tiny bow that was on the string. “So, it’s occurred to me, these past few weeks have been awful for many people and I wish nothing but the best for everyone...” He felt himself beginning to babble so took another sip of his drink. “But for me, it’s been an eye opener.”

She stared at his lips when he talking, “oh?” she asked, her heart beating ten to the dozen. 

“I’ve enjoyed every single second of you being here. Even when you leave your socks all over the bedroom floor, or use a different glass every time you have a drink of water or... you’re just annoying actually” He laughed, resulting a light slap on the arm from her. “But seriously, I can’t imagine you not being here anymore and I'm so happy this whole thing hit when it did and not when I was halfway across the world and couldn’t travel to you.” His hands were clammy, his head was fuzzy and his mouth was dry - even with his third large gulp of wine. To most people it would be no big deal, but to him, the question meant everything. It meant he may have to deal with the rejection he’s had to deal with many times before, it meant he would have someone to wake up too in the night when his anxiety was unsettling him, it meant he’d finally found someone he knew understood him. “I don’t want you to go...”

“Go? I’m not going anywhere. We haven’t eaten yet and I'm hung...”

“Move in with me?”

--

“So, maybe now you’ll have to rearrange the wardrobes again and make some room for yourself?” he cooed, with a hint of smugness in his voice. Not that he was smug 2 hours ago when he was shaking like a leaf over asking her to move in. She was finishing putting the pots away, even though he insisted not to do it, she insisted she’d like to wake up tomorrow and not have to think about doing it. He helped... by pouring more wine. 

“Hmmm... I'm not too sure you know” She giggled, throwing the cloth down onto the counter and turning around, her high heels clicking against the floor as she did so. She was feeling happy, tipsy, grateful, everything she always felt when she was in his presence. 

“Reckon I could help you be sure about that” She knew he was feeling the influence of the wine because he has a constant smirk on his face now. Not that she minded; he looked sexy. He used his foot to push himself off the bar stool that he was half sitting on, half standing against. 

“Oh yeah?” She asked, raising her eyebrows as she watched his tall, thick figure walk towards her until he was eventually overpowering her much shorter frame. He placed an arm either side of her, officially blocking her in. 

He was close enough that she could feel his every breath, even more so when his head dipped down and his lips lingered just millimetres away from her own. He hovered there for a second, until he physically couldn't resist finally tasting her. She was more than accommodating to him, falling straight into his trap like putty, just like always. Her hands unwrapped from around her own body and snaked around his, palms smoothing over his soft shirt. She smiled against the kiss as her fingers fiddled with the belt loops on the back of his trousers, which only made him itch closer. He kept one hand on the kitchen counter, whilst the other glided up her body until it reached around the back of her neck, grabbing a handful of her of her perfectly curled hair. With one sudden tug, her head is forced backwards, leaving a welcoming amount of skin accentuated. Her eyes remained closed, taking in every sense other than sight. 

She could smell his deep cologne; a mixture of juicy and spicy with an innocent hint of vanilla that oozed sexuality. Hers? Hers has base notes of patchouli, mixed with a hint of jasmine and was one of the only scents he loved more than that damn vanilla pumpkin body butter. She could hear and feel his lips, effortlessly at work, sucking lightly at the skin around her collar bone as if he was tracing the positioning of her perfume. The sound of his lips smacking her skin was enough to make her weak at the knees and she was eternally grateful that he was somewhat supporting her body. But most of all, she could feel his love. His passion. The energy overpowered the room and she wanted to be held captive in it forever.

His soft but husky groan snapped her out of her dreamy state just in time to hear him speak quietly. “Turn around”, he instructed, moving both hands to her hips to guide her 180 degrees. She obeyed him without question, submissive to his every demand. One hand remained on her hip, the other pressing on her shoulder blade, that was only a fraction covered by the spaghetti strap of her dress, in an eagerness to get her bent over the counter. He made sure to push up against her ass, the hardness that was growing in his trousers pushing into her. If she wasn’t wet for him before, she definitely was now. 

The ruched fabric of her dress fell perfectly over her peachy ass and if he wasn’t so ready to fuck her senseless he'd take a step back and stare at her all night long. Her dress had risen up as she leaned over the counter, giving a peak of some lacy underwear he’d picked out and bought for her on a previous occasion. His hand reached around the front of her legs, firmly resting on the front of her thigh, his thumb tracing patterns on the inner part. He could hear her breathe getting deeper and needier. So he gave her exactly what she wanted and shifted his hand further up, bring the material of her dress with it until it ended up just below her stomach. 

His other hand kneaded at her ass in-between gripping her hip for support. His busy hand toyed with the top hem of those lace panties that he loved ever so dearly. “Shawn...” She exhaled, pressing her head to the marble countertop in frustration. The ass-hand left her hip, reaching up and grabbing a section of her hair just like it had done earlier on in the evening. A gentle tug gave her no choice but to follow the direction of his strength and turn her neck to face his still-smirking features. 

“Patience, baby” He cooed, knees bending slightly for his hand on her thigh to be able to reach exactly where he wanted. Before she knew it, his fingers were no longer toying with the hem of her panties, but filling them instead. Moving down to her sweet, desperate folds was all she needed to let out a loud groan that echoed throughout the kitchen. She was wet, needy for the touch of his skin on hers. Two fingers stroked the entrance of her, whilst his thumb only just toying with her clit, instaltaniously making her twitch in tune with her groaning. He was toying with her and she knew it, but she couldn’t help but whine and plead for more. He gave her more of what she wanted, rubbing harder on her clit and pushing the tips of his fingers into her folds, rubbing at her juices. 

He swiftly removed his hand, wanted to feel more; taste more. Before she knew, he’d tugged her around to face him again and she loved the way he had the strength to move her body without her having to think about a single thing. His hands on her hips, grasped tight and she knew what he wanted and of course, went along, jumping onto the kitchen counter, automatically wrapping her legs around his waist in an attempt to pull him closer. “Are we really gonna do this in your kitchen?” She giggle, innocently, making his cock twitch. 

“Our kitchen, my love...”

[idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf]

How Mervana shows Louie’s response to trauma.

I made a super short post basically saying “Hey I like how Mervana highlights Louie’s trauma and it’s effects on him” and people seemed interested in hearing more about it so here’s that post.

Now, it’s no secret (generally) that Louie really hates adventures. That’s obvious throughout the show, up to the most recent season. He never seems to want to go on adventures, always objecting to them or not going or changing his mind and wanting to go back half way through. The show never fails to remind us that he hates them. What’s more, the show never fails to remind us exactly why Louie hates adventures. In Glomtales he was actually happy to be missing the adventure at first, commenting “Well, at least I can skip out on another insanely dangerous adventure”. Something that only changed when he realized they were going somewhere not only safe but actually fun, something very rare. In The Golden Armory Of Cornelius Coot he rocks back and forth trying to convince himself of why the adventure was worth it, clearly extremely distressed. “Do not laugh in the face of my danger” he shouted when Dewey starting giggling. Later in that episode he basically sobbed out “I wanna go home”. In Challenge Of The Senior Woodchuck he says “I’m cold and terrified, this sure seems like an adventure to me.”

Most of the family isn’t actually affected by the constant stress and danger they’re put in. Huey, Dewey, Webby, Della, and Scrooge all find it incredibly exciting, Donald used to once upon a time and he stopped adventuring after it stopped being that. Nobody else has really gone through what Louie has. He isn’t built for adventuring. He’s been kidnapped, physically and mentally hurt, almost killed. Constantly. According to an article I read, “Trauma results from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or threatening and that can have lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and physical, social, emotional well-being.” and well, that absolutely fits the bill here. Below i’m going to put some symptoms of trauma that are in line with what we’ve seen from Louie throughout the show

Anger, irritability, mood swings

Anxiety and fear

Guilt, shame, self-blame

Withdrawing from others

Feeling sad or hopeless

Feeling disconnected or numb

Fatigue

Being startled easily

Edginess and agitation

Extreme alertness; always on the lookout for warnings of potential danger

Detachment from other people and emotions

Emotional numbing

Suspicion

Throughout the show there are many instances of Louie’s trauma being very obvious to anybody paying attention. However I think the episode Mervana actually showcased the effects outside of just Louie being visibly distressed over actively being in danger. Other episodes have shown his symptoms, obviously. His anxiety and fear are always on during at adventure and when they aren’t he’s shockingly, almost unusually numb to the situation. He’s almost always very fatigued (although the line between what’s fatigue and what’s just ‘laziness’ is a bit blurred), and he’s almost always a bit too hostile towards others. But Mervana showed a really direct ‘cause and effect’ type relationship with the things they’ve been through and his behavior throughout that episode.

Starting off the episode, we can see Louie seems very detached. He’s texting throughout Huey and Scrooge’s monologues. As I said earlier, when it comes to adventuring he’s always either in fight or flight mode or he’s completely detached, maybe offering occasional dull but volatile remarks here and there. Eventually Louie makes a comment about how “Now there’s two people putting us in constant danger” before sitting like this for the next minute or so

The other’s are mid conversation but he just kinda sits there blankly for a while before turning to make another remark. “Yeah, I definitely can’t wait to find a bunch of lost undersea monsters who definitely won’t have a dark secret that almost gets us killed”. And it’s important to recognize that Louie isn’t just being a pessimist here. He may not be in panic mode at the moment because he tends to emotionally detach himself until it’s time for his fight or flight responses to kick in (likely a way to cope with the constant anxiety that seems to follow him) but he’s still got a very good point because they are put in constant danger and this episode really, truly, is no different. Webby even asks “Why do you always have to assume the worst?” to which Louie pulls out his running list of the times they’ve been offered as a sacrifice. He’s almost died countless times. He’s watched his brother’s and sister almost die countless times. No, not countless, he’s counting. He’s literally keeping count of the number of traumatic experiences he’s gone through, which is at least one hundred and twenty. And that’s just the amount of sacrifices, which is to say nothing about kidnappings or non sacrifice related straight up murder attempts. 

Let me just say, though, that his suspicious nature, while completely natural due to his past traumatic experiences, and while somewhat grounded in reality because they did end up in danger during this episode, wasn’t completely accurate. Most of the Mervanan’s were genuinely good people but Louie immediately assumed they were going to hurt him and his family. He was on edge. He was immediately suspicious, even before he met them, even before he was given reason to be suspicious. The only person who read into things as deeply as he did was Beakley, who’s a secret agent. She will have been trained to be suspicious and pick up on small signs that something isn’t right, but Louie wasn’t. Louie was just on edge and suspicious of everything because those are big signs of trauma. He was right that something wrong was going on, but it wasn’t observational skills on his part as shown by the fact that he was sure they’d be put in danger before they ever met the Mervanan’s. 

A few times this episode we see the flip from Louie being on edge and suspicious to him actually genuinely being put in danger. And you can see clear as day that he gets no satisfaction out of it. Everyone else is usually proud or energized. Excited to fight, smug when they win or get away. It’s not the same for Louie.

And you can see there’s a difference even between Beakley’s suspicions based on genuine observation and valid doubt when compared to Louie’s which are based in the fact that he’s a traumatized individual who’s had his brain rewired in a way that makes him suspicious to an unhealthy degree. “You have no idea weather or not they’re going to feed us to their monster king?” Beakley asked The Harp. She was suspicious because she knows how the world works and realized something was wrong (because something was wrong) but she was rational about it. They didn’t have solid evidence, she didn’t know for sure. But Louie immediately replied by saying “they definitely are” which isn’t a rational thought process when he really, truly had no evidence to believe so other than his deepseeded instinct to trust nobody.

And when Beakley admitted that she didn’t trust the Mervanan’s either there was very little smugness in the way he handled it. Louie didn’t insist as hard as he did that something was wrong and that you can’t trust anybody just to prove a point to Webby. Immediately he interrupted Beakley and Webby’s situation by jumping in with “We need to get the harp down to the Mervanan’s or we’re all going to die!” Louie was truly in panic mode throughout this episode. He wasn’t just being a pessimist trying to crush Webby’s bright optimistic hope, he was trying to protect his family. When he first set off to find the harp he said “I’m going to find the harp before we all get sacrificed”. Then when he was debating weather or not to tell Webby the truth he pointed out that “If she doesn’t (find out the truth) she’ll be fish food!”. Then when he’s trying to move the harp down to the other’s his biggest concern is “Gotta save family”. It’s not just pessimism, it’s fear and suspicion, which are very different things. 

Later on we see that Louie’s ideals don’t fully match up with his behavior either. “The king turned himself into a monster, but you’re not him.  You built a society based on truth, and the truth is you don’t need Mervana to be good.” before turning to Webby and telling her “Somebody once told me that you have to look for the best in people and not assume the worst” and honestly, I don’t feel like this is abnormal thinking for him. Believe it or not, Louie is the kind of person to believe in other’s positive traits. He does very often see the good in people and obviously on a level of principal alone he doesn’t think all people are bad.  

However principals and logic are often overcome by the brain’s natural response to trauma. And those natural responses often aren’t as idealistic as “anyone can be good and you shouldn’t assume the worst in people”. Fear and anger and anxiety. Seeing danger everywhere. Always being on guard. They’re not something you can control. No matter how much you believe people can be good that instinctive urge to trust nobody spurred on by trauma is often much stronger. Especially when you’re not getting any professional help and have someone to protect. Even if Louie wanted to believe in people (and I think he does), his survival instincts are stronger than that. Even if he didn’t care about his own safety, he has a family who are too dumb to care about their own so he has to do that for them.

Overall a LOT of Louie’s storyline during Mervana was obviously highlighting his response to the trauma he’s had to deal with over the course of the show. And sadly I don’t think he’ll stop having these reactions anytime soon because it takes more than just knowing people can be good to deal with changes to your brain’s chemical makeup.

[thecatboyfriend-moved]

One More Time With Feeling

Summary: Logan gets tired of how the other sides treat him and now he lives off of Crofters.

Warnings: Swearing, slight crying mention, yelling, Virgil and Patton being pushy, Logan angst. Tell me if there’s anything I should add!

Word Count: ~1,880

Note: New AU timeeee!!!! Feel free to send in asks about this because I have a lot of thoughts about this AU.

———

After the events post-wedding, Logan goes back to his room. He had been in the living room with Remus and Virgil, watching the events unfold on the TV while he gave his facts from his laptop. 

Deceit, or Janus as he learned, came in some way through, asking to take over. Logan, frustrated with the others’ lack of interest, agreed, practically throwing his laptop to Janus. He went to get some coffee and calm down but was called back when Janus left. He slammed his mug on the table, typing quickly before shutting the laptop and storming out. 

He hurries into his room, shutting the door behind him. Logan takes a deep breath as tears gather in his eyes. He presses his back against the door and slides down to the floor, curling into a ball.

His own statement swirls through his head. “If the variety of generosity that you subscribe to leaves you feeling depressed or like your life isn’t your own, then you need to reevaluate things.”

He squeezes his eyes shut tight, trying his very best to get the thought out of his head. He isn’t depressed. He can't be, he doesn’t have feelings. Right? That’s been his mantra for a bit now.

Despite his best efforts to convince himself, he knows it isn’t true. He used to be so happy. He really was. Then things got more complicated and he was seen as less serious. So he tried to be more professional, he tried to forget it all and just be Logic. 

But it’s not working.

They didn’t take him seriously when he was himself. And they aren’t taking him seriously now. So what’s the point?

What’s the point?

He lets his eyes open at that. Why does he have to be something he’s not when all it’s doing is hurting him?

Well, simple: he doesn’t. If he’s going to be seen as a joke either way, he may as well be able to laugh along.

Logan takes a deep breath, prying himself up off the floor. He stumbles a bit before righting himself and heading towards his dresser. He tears the tie off from around his neck, frowning at it. It was nice, he did like the colors. But it’s not right. It’s not the lighter blue he used to love, it’s not the soft fabric of his favorite comfort clothes he keeps hidden away. It’s not him. 

So, he crumples it up and throws it across the room. He can’t help but let a smile appear on his face at that. Next goes his polo, with its logo he had loved but has grown to hate. He throws that somewhere to the other side of the room. 

He digs in his drawers, throwing out extra polos and ties he despises as he tries to find his comfort clothes. His grin only grows when he finds his light blue sweater buried under his jeans.

He holds it for a moment, admiring the color that should have been his and the soft texture he never gets from his polos. He throws it on quickly. Once it’s on, he hugs himself, laughing a bit. It’s so much better.

He gets his jeans off, finding his sleep shorts and putting those on. It’s so much more comfortable and so much more him. It’s nice. 

With the clothes now on, Logan goes over to his bed, letting himself flop onto it. 

————————————————

He glances over at his desk, covered in schedules and binders and things he’d usually stay up late working on. But instead of dragging himself over to the desk and staying there until midnight—like he usually would—he summons his trivial pursuit book. He settles himself under the covers with the book, falling asleep soon after. 

Logan wakes up to a loud knocking at his door. Groaning, he sits up. He tries to wipe the sleep out of his eyes but finds his glasses still on. He must have slept on his side because the glasses are bent. Sighing, he throws them off and onto the bed. 

“It’s open, you know,” he yells at the door, which is still being knocked on. The knocking stops and the door opens, revealing a confused looking Patton.

“Hey, Lolo!” Patton says, letting himself into the room. He glances around, frowning a bit at the clothes thrown around. “Uh, what happened here?” 

Logan pulls himself out of bed, stretching with a sigh. “Did you actually need something?” 

“Oh, right!” Logan rolls his eyes, heading to his desk. “Well, you weren’t up yet, so I wanted to check on you!” 

“I wasn’t aware I’m not allowed to sleep in,” Logan growls, digging through his desk drawers. He pulls a pair of round, thin-framed glasses out, sliding them on his face. 

“Well, no, you are! You just never really do, so I was worried.” Logan snorts, going to the door and shoving past the taller side. He makes his way down the stairs, Patton following close behind. He can faintly hear the other chastising him, but he just keeps walking.

Logan walks into the kitchen, ignoring the looks Patton is giving him.

“Hey L,” Virgil says from his place at the table. Logan glances over at him before digging in the cabinet. “There’s already coffee made if you want some.” 

Logan’s nose scrunches up at that. The others think he likes black coffee, which is far from true. He only agreed to drink it when Patton handed it to him one morning, apparently thinking he likes it. He’s drunk it ever since, trying his very best to ignore its bitter taste.

He ignores Virgil, pulling a jar of Crofter’s from the cabinet and leaving the door open. He can hear Patton hushedly talking with Virgil as he gets a spoon and retreats to the couch. 

“Uh, Lolo?” Logan looks up from where he sprawled on the couch. Patton’s standing by the arm of the couch with a frown.

“What?” Logan drawls out. He pops the lid off his jar, shoving a spoonful of the jelly into his mouth. 

“Isn’t it too early for jam?” Patton asks, laughing nervously. Logan rolls his eyes.

“It’s good and I like it, so fuck off.” He shoves another spoonful in his mouth, trying not to laugh at the way Patton gasps. 

“Logan Sanders! Do not—,”

“You’re not my dad,” Logan says with a mouthful of jelly. He sits up more on the couch, summoning the remote. He holds the spoon in his mouth as he turns on the TV, still cradling the Crofters.

He can hear Patton huff, walking away. Logan turns on Sherlock, sinking further into the couch and eating more jelly. 

Logan gets through about an episode and a jar and a half of Crofter’s before the couch is stolen from under him.

He stumbles, suddenly standing in Thomas’ living room. He finds Patton, Virgil, and Thomas staring at him. 

“Y’know, you really should give me a warning or something,” Logan says. He finds the jam still in his hands, taking a bite of it. 

“Logan, is something wrong?” Thomas asks, looking over Logan’s appearance warily. He’s still in his light blue sweater and shorts with his round glasses, an obvious difference to his usual attire.

Logan just laughs, waving his spoon accusingly at Thomas. “Y’all are so terrible, really. Like, I change into comfy clothes once and suddenly I’m treated like I’m sick.” 

“No, you changed your clothes,” Patton begins listing. “Threw your other clothes around your room, cursed at me, and you’re living off of Crofters!”

Logan just deadpans at him, shoving another spoon of Crofters in his mouth. “Dunno whatcha mean, Pat.” He leaves his usual spot by the stairs, flopping onto Thomas’ couch. “Thomas, I’m stealing your couch. And your TV.”

He tries to resume his show, but Virgil is suddenly in front of the TV. 

“Okay, enough of...whatever this is,” he growls. “What are you doing Logan?” Logan groans, loud and annoyed. 

“Alright, you wanna know what’s wrong, Virgil?” Logan laughs back. “None of you give a shit!”

The three look surprised by that, quite obviously not knowing what to say. So Logan continues.

“You all act so goddamn ignorant! Like with Virgil!” Said side jumps a bit, narrowing his eyes as if he’s daring Logan to continue. “Oh, don’t act so innocent. You got us to accept you and sympathize with you, but that wasn’t enough! No, you didn’t want sympathy or any of that shit, you just wanted to be able to be a bitch without being called out!”

“Logan, that’s enough,” Patton says, joining Virgil by the TV.

“Oh, what? You want a turn?” 

“Logan—,”

“No Patton,” Logan interrupts. “Because you’re the one that lets him! You act like he’s some pure innocent being that can do no wrong, but he’s not! He threatened me, and you didn’t do shit!”

Logan turns back to Virgil, grinning madly. “Remember that, Virge? That ‘I’m gonna prohibit your breathing’ bullshit? Because you bet your ass I do!”

Now Patton’s looking at Virgil with wide eyes. Virgil looks absolutely caught. 

“Oh no, Pat, you do not get to act all sweet and innocent here,” Logan laughs. “Don’t act like you didn’t hear him! And even if you didn’t, you’ve done shit too! Let’s see.” He stands, stalking his way over to Patton who starts backing up.

“You’ve made fun of me for my mistakes.” Patton bumps into the TV as Logan gets in front of him.

“You try to skip my words so you don’t have to hear what you’ve done wrong.” He jabs a finger at Patton’s chest.

“And you don’t take me seriously.” He hisses out the last sentence, stepping away from Patton. 

“That’s the whole fucking problem here!” He yells, waving his arms as he talks. “You all refuse to take me seriously! You will humor everyone but me!”

Logan takes a breath, running a hand through his hair as he glares at Thomas. “Yes, I have made my own mistakes. I’ve let my temper get the best of me, I’ve been rude, I’ve done things I’m not proud of. But I only do those things when you all refuse to listen and when I’m at my limit.”

“Logan, buddy,” Thomas tries to interject, but Logan holds up a hand to stop him.

“No, Thomas. You aren’t innocent either. Sure, you haven’t done as much as they have, but you will still side with them over me. I still had to try and ignore my feelings and push away what made me happy, all so you would listen to me.”

Logan laughs, turning away from Thomas as he heads back to the couch. “Y’know, it really says a lot about you Thomas; the fact that your own Logic is feeling like this.”

Silence and guilt hang in the air as Logan picks back up his jar of Crofters, turning to the others. 

“I’m done, I really am,” he sighs. “That’s what this is. I’m done putting on an emotionless facade to get you all to listen. Because you didn’t listen and I wasn’t happy. You’ve pushed me to my limit, and I’m done being ignored. You’re going to regret this.”

With that, he sinks out to his room, leaving the others to contemplate just what they’ve done. 

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Mina Sundwall, Lost in Space

Best known for her starring role as Penny Robinson in the critically acclaimed Netflix series Lost in Space, Mina Sundwall landed her first 'role' at age 8 months as a kidnapped baby. On the film front, she starred in Freeheld, Maggie's Plan, #Horror. Mina also had a guest turn as in Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. She was born and raised in New York City, but being half Swedish and half Italian, she also spent a part of her childhood in Europe. When not working or in school, Mina is an avid singer song-writer. Mina took the time to answer some of our questions about herself and her experience on Lost in Space:

Without any spoilers, what scene or episode from Lost in Space season 2 are you most excited for fans to see?

As far as Penny is concerned, people have definitely reached out letting me know that Pennjay HAS to live on through season two…. And it most definitely will. There is a scene between Ajay and I that starts happy, then gets awkward and cute, then scary, then life-or-death, and then…. I can’t tell you how it ends, but it was one of my favorite scenes of the whole season. I love doing scenes with Ajay, and it seems that fans have caught on to the hilarity of our friendship and I’m excited to see what they think of our new adventures. 

Other than that, I can’t tell you details about Episode 10, but I know that it will get a huge reaction from fans! It was so emotional to shoot, and it is even more emotional to watch. 

How do you get into the mindset to play Penny?

First and foremost, I start with a good parent-sassing. My parents have been submitted to many early-morning sessions. In the 6 months we shoot a season my eye-roll ability is polished by the day, together with my one line-comebacks.☺ 

More seriously, when it comes to shaping Penny’s character and her arc through a season, I spend time paying attention to the environment around her and the details that inform her world. I create stories in my mind for all of the bits of life that are not ‘on camera’. As Meisner said “acting is reacting,” and a lot of Penny’s behavior comes from the situation she’s in. What has she had for lunch? Or maybe she’s cranky because she didn’t have lunch. What music she likes? Music is very important for me and builds a mood. How does it feel as a teenager to constantly believe you aren’t good enough? To feel lonely, and out-of-place? I think I know some of that from personal history.  In a way I build her character from the outside-in.

On a more physical note- this season we had a bunch of stunts. Ignacio taught me to eat hearty foods before our physical work. So, part of my prep is…. chugging avocadoes!? In a sense that feels very Penny. 

Do you have any fun facts about the filming of Lost in Space season 2 that fans would be surprised to know? 

There is a long sequence in episode 1 with the all of us sailing the Jupiter through a storm, shallow waters and on rocks and it is amazing to see the coherency of the full scene because almost none of the physical spaces are real. The top of the Jupiter where we stand was built as an outdoor set on scaffolding in a winery outside of Vancouver and all around us were beautiful fields and we could see trains in the distance. The inside of the Jupiter was a set in a completely different location and many of the water splashing scenes were done indoor in studio with water cannons shooting at us. And it’s amazing how the editing, lighting and digital effects are able to smooth the differences and create this one illusion of space and time that allows us to suspend our disbelief and enjoy the full creative ride.

If a theme song played whenever you entered a room, what song would it be? 

Oh, I did a Buzzfeed quiz on this once. I got “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga. I mean, I’ll take it as a complement! 

Describe a typical day on set.

Wake up - coffee – drive to the studio – coffee – hair and make-up - coffee - get dressed - coffee - block a scene - coffee.  And that’s just the first 2 hours.

My moment of Zen is always in hair and make-up. I love to sit and have my hair touched. Sometimes it comes with a little scalp massage… it’s my favorite part of the day.

When we start shooting it’s a mix of moments where we are all focused and on set, with moments where we goof around, and that repeats itself for 10-12 hours every day. While we were filming the two seasons I was also still in high school, so Max and I also had to study for a minimum of 3 hours every day, usually more, in between scenes.

The best part is lunch all together, especially in warmer days when tables are set outside on the studio lot and the cast and crew is eating and relaxing together.

When we film the show it becomes our life, every day. And I couldn’t be happier about it. This family, the crew, the stunts, the sets, the locations, the scripts, the days (long and short). I love it.

How would you explain the plot of Lost in Space to a five-year-old?

This super smart family, their friend the smuggler, and a crazy lady have a mission to get to a new world away from Earth, but they get attacked! And now they’re lost on another planet with a Robot. They are trying to find a way to get back to everyone else and they ask the Robot for help. It’s crazy. 

What’s the funniest photo that you have on your phone (either share or describe it)?

Oh I’ve got a couple of good ones. Here are some of my favourites:

If you could have a conversation with Penny, what would you ask her?

I would want to know why she never spoke up about not wanting to leave earth. Does she miss her friends, or any one in particular? Where does her passion for writing come from? Did she just discover it? And does she ever feel like cutting her hair very short (because I want to so I hope she does!!)? Would she like Game of Thrones, or is she more or a Riverdale kind of girl?

Did you do any kind of research or training to prepare for your role in Lost in Space?

I did! My biggest challenge in ‘becoming’ Penny was the fact that she often speaks in one-liners, possibly interrupting someone else’s conversation, or sharing opinions that make other uncomfortable. And those one-liners are a representation of her insecurities, her fears, her hopes so they are very loaded, and I wanted them to feel loaded, not simple sass. Penny is very deep and as a writer she has the ability to condense a lot of emotions in a few words, and I needed to show that. And less is often harder than more, so I spent a lot time studying subtle performances and actors able to condense multiple, often opposed emotions into few simple words or gestures. None of it might be visible but it was an incredible tour-de-force.

And then my dad sat me down and gave me a beginner’s Sci-Fi films education, listing every sci fi movie ever made… just because he could…and what is special about each just in case someone asked me.  I remember maybe five total, but it was there at some point. 

If you could do a crossover with any other property, which one would you pick?

Oh The Crown. I would love to see what happens when Queen Elizabeth gets lost on a planet. 

Thanks for taking the time, Mina! The second season of Lost in Space premieres on Netflix on December 24th.. 

[sanstropfremir]

Okay, time for my weekly rant so buckle up. The vocal stages were okay-I cant really remember them well because I watched them only once so take what I say with a grain of salt. Well I watched the Spark one once and I only got through half of the other one because I can’t stand ballads especially when there’s no interesting movement on stage to keep me engaged. Like it’s no fault of the members themselves or the song (I actually think their singing was incredibly beautiful and Eunkwang always sings like his wife just left him with the kids which is how you know he’s good) but I physically could not pay attention. That’s why I liked the spark stage a bit better-there was enough movement that I was able to focus on it. I really liked the use of the fire and the way they were walking in and out of the frame trading off parts so there weren’t too many awkward moments where the other members where on stage but not doing anything. The opening was gorgeous with each members being lit by the spotlight as they harmonize. So stagewise, I prefer Spark but vocally I think the other group was stronger. I love Spark and Taeyon is such an incredible vocalist (I mean the song is great because of her) so I don’t get why their delivery was, I don’t want to say weak, but subdued might be a better word. The only one that really stood out was Junhoe (but also that man couldn’t not stand out even if he tried, not with that incredibly rasp) and even he seemed to be holding himself back a bit. Though it was a bit slow it built up well to the two last choruses but still the first half could have been stronger. I know they were trying to draw it out to a strong pay off but I don’t really know if it was enough. And yes the suits were *chef’s kiss*. I think at this point in their career the FNC stylist has put SF9 in so many suits they’ve got it down to a science. Also I’m a sucker for those shirts with the triangle cut out and we got not one but two of them here.

Okay moving on, I’m not sure which group was next but I’ll talk about the Ikon stage. It seems like they finally realized that they’re on a performance based competition show so they decided to pull out the big guns. Love the little skit at the beginning (making sure people don’t forget that they’re YG), it was cute and refreshing. I really appreciated how they leaned into the campy acting in this stage (Stray kids did it too-just adding to the similarities between their stages). The song was meh but I also don’t really like BP especially not their recent stuff so it’s not a big deal. I would have preferred if they had gone with another song maybe Whistle or As If It’s Your Last or if they’d done a 2NE1 song like Chanwoo mentioned some point in the episode. I also think the stage would have been way smoother if they’d let Ikon and Lisa interact. Like if the boys appeared in her set after her section and then they all moved back to the first jungle set and then the whole thing turns gold and they did a dramatic outfit change (but with better jackets because theirs look like they came out of Party City). I also get what you mean about the dancers outfits not being that great. I actually really liked the outfits of Lisa’s dancers in isolation but they didn’t match with her or the set so they threw me off a bit. At least with the ikon members they were going for a modern look so the dancers outfits didn’t look that strange in comparison. Do you think it would have been better if they were white? How would you have improved then? The best way I can describe this performance was that it was a stage, stuff happened, I enjoyed myself but I don’t plan to revisit it anytime soon. Oh and we also have to give points for them cursing on national television not once but twice (at this point Jinwan deserves to say fuck).

Now to Stray Kids. So I feel like I need to preface this with the fact that I am actually a stray kids fan (I won’t call myself a stay because I don’t associate with the fandom) and though I’ve been really critical of them and their stages tend to be my least favorite I still have a soft spot for them (I got into this show because of them after all). I loved, loved, loved the intro with Felix (and yes his biggest flaw is that he’s Australian but I forgive him for it) and the way it immediately transitions into the chorus of DDD-the abrupt transition does fit really well with the Deadpool theme and I guess it is the closest they’re going to get to the feeling of yeeting themselves into traffic like in the movie. Interesting choice to start with the chorus. Now that I’m rewatching it I do really wish they stuck with the comic theme. I think that’s my gripe with SKZ-they have a lot of good ideas but they move on too quickly from them. Just pick a handful of things and sprinkle them throughout instead of cycling through them at breakneck speed. Like okay they’re doing Deadpool and he’s a comic character so keep the comic styling (it would have been a good thing to put in the projection behind Seungmin’s scene), maybe in the subway they could have had some fight choreo so the guns coming in at Lee Knows part aren’t out of nowhere (also someone please tell me they were trying to recreate the meme with the cat and the knives, please I need to know). I absolutely agree that them having a goal or an antagonist would have really helped the story along. I mean they literally have a spoken intro so why couldn’t Felix just tell us who they were fighting (and I’m pretty sure in the movie Wade tells us he’s trying to kill Francis in that scene sooo). As always they put more focus on the rappers (please can we get less Changbin and more Seungmin, Jeongin, or Lee Know or at least give Felix more parts). Seungmin was the real mvp of this stage and he had the best outfit (I think it qualifies for Hanya’s best gay little outfit list). Personally I with they hadn’t gone with Gods Menu again. I’ve been hoping that they would perform My Pace (and maybe remix it with their B-side TA off their Go Live album) because that would be such a fun stage. Again, I enjoyed myself but I won’t revisit it anytime soon. At this point the only groups I actually look forward to are BTOB and SF9 (they’re doing fucking Move and I don’t know whether to be excited or terrified-there’s a clip of Taeyang covering Move from a variety show or interview and I think he does it really well so I know at least one of them can pull it off). Again thanks for creating space where I can info dump and I hope I said something of interest to you!

i think you wrote more than me!! i love this, im gonna put my response under a cut im not being super obnoxious on the dash.

i get that the mayfly stage would be not as visually stimulating for people and usually i would count myself in with that crowd because i love a good spectacle but i think because i watched the spark stage first and my colour perception is sometimes weird so when there's a lot of movement with very little colour variation my tiny pea brain loses track of whats happening really quickly. especially with red. so it was kind of difficult for me to pay attention to the spark stage in the second half. also i absolutely HATE watching people flub on stage because it brings up such visceral secondhand feelings that i couldn't even watch the stage when i started the full episode today.

i love a good suit but you know what i would also love: sf9 in more costume variations. tbh im just getting nitpicky about it because im a costume designer down to the core and i got trained by a designer who specialized in doing avant garde costuming so i tend to skew more towards wild than reserved. it looks like the move stage wont be be suits so ill take it, but oh man to do i want to see some really crazy stuff. which i know they'll never do because idols have to be pretty at all times or the fans get mad but oh i want it so badly.

do you mean how i would improve ikon's backup dancers outfits or lisa's? here why dont i do both. for lisa's dancers i would have just done away with that harness shape all together, its almost exclusively a military style. the jackets by themselves would have been fine but really what they should have done was put them in something that matched the gold but contrasted enough to give them shape. by having at least her dancers in all black on a gold stage there was a lot of "haha look at me do a duck walk because lets throw in some voguing for spice." they could have gone with a mesh bodysuit idea similar to what she was wearing or even just different colour coats. as for ikon's backup dancers, firstly pants. not black. or even a longer skirt. genuinely a part of the reason why i dont watch girl group content is because i HATE the hem length of the shorts they make everyone wear. words cannot describe how much i hate that cut. kpop is so obsessed with showing off women's bodies and especially their legs but they do it in the LEAST flattering way possible because it "can't be too risqué," just shoot me now. i hate it. i hate it so fucking much. yea yea everybody was on cocaine in the 80s whatever but at least they were all wearing french cut bodysuits so their legs looked fantastic. stop interrupting the lines!! anyways. pants so the only section of skin showing is thigh to mid calf, especially because they weren't even doing any fun legwork! if they really wanted to keep the full sleeve bodysuits they shout have done them in a fabric with a texture or external embellishments, like a patent/vinyl or sequins/rhinestones. something to catch the stage lights so we can actually see the shape of the limb. but the easiest way to fix it is literally just cut the arms off the bodysuits. stages are lit to show off skin, sometimes the best way to have something be seen is just to have it bare.

i agreed skz cycles through ideas way too fast, they need to just pick a couple and stick them out through the stage instead of just adding more and more different ones throughout. also ok good someone else noticed that there is just...so much changbin. we don't need that much changbin. i know there's other boys in the group let them do something! also im pretty sure theyre not recreating the cat knife meme but actually the promo image from john wick chapter two, which i also could have sworn i saw a deadpool version of as an instagram ad back when movies were happening, but now that im looking for it it doesn't exist so i might be crazy.

im excited for the move stage but im also trepidatious because...its move. i have NO clue what the concept is from the previews so i just hope its weird enough to take it enough out of the taemin context for me to enjoy it.