#Fucking weirdos. Love em.

[kristhekrispy]

Get SNIFFED, fucker!!

[sugaroto]

Watching adventure time be like:

[object-yaoi]

i love this funny little doodle of my courier 6. he is a werewolf who forgot to tell his companions.

[chisungie]

.

[sharlsworld]

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆ to be loved loudly - 𝐋𝐍𝟒 𖤓

（ 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗂𝗌 𝗑 𝗐𝗈𝗅𝖿𝖿 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ）

（ 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒 ）𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝖻𝖺𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗁𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽

✫ i feel like i have to say this but most of my smau’s are literally just random posts and rarely have a plot also lowk part 3 of walk em like a dog?? idk i somehow made her totos daughter without realizing 😭

🝮

yn

liked by pierregasly and 2,871,443 others

yn 🍋‍🟩

landonorris first

landonorris fuck i’m hard

⤷ yn what??

⤷ landonorris baby you can glance at me and it’s up

⤷ yn weirdo

⤷ landonorris don’t stop i’m close

⤷ yn WHAT THE FUCK LANDO??? this is public everyone can see this

⤷ landonorris ain’t no one gonna stop me from thirsting 💀 keep going i was so close

⤷ yn why am i dating you

⤷ landonorris well if i remember this correctly you said “i love pathetic men”

⤷ yn get out of my face

⤷ landonorris i came

⤷ yn i’m going to report your account

landonorris i’m gonna miss you when i scroll 😔

⤷ yn you’re sitting on my lap right now?

⤷ landonorris i just wanna be close to you

⤷ alex_albon loser 😂😂

⤷ lilymhe Now alex…

⤷ alex_albon I was jking only good boys sit on their gfs laps fr

⤷ landonorris good boys?

⤷ alex_albon are you not a good boy?

⤷ landonorris i’m the best boy ho

⤷ mclaren What am I looking at

oscarpiastri I feel molested

maxverstappen1 Lando is horny 24/7: confirmed

georgerussell63 Chile anyways so

🝮

landonorris

liked by tomholland2013 and 3,890,516 others

landonorris i love my girlfriend so much everyday i wake up i thank god that i’m able to call her my girlfriend no one compares she is perfect and so funny and so beautiful and so kind i love her more than all the stars in the sky in every lifetime and universe i will find her because she is my one love

yn so sappy i love it

⤷ landonorris always for you honey

charles_leclerc Average Lando post

alex_albon super cool super rich super popular nepo baby gf who has everyone in the palm of her hand x loser bf who looks at her like she hung the stars in the sky is my favorite love trope

⤷ landonorris i’m cool and rich and popular as well?

⤷ alex_albon not as much as y/n

⤷ landonorris true

danielricciardo Pussy whipped

⤷ landonorris damn right you would be too

lilymhe So cutie patootie

georgerussell63 Lando please, you’re making all of us look like bad boyfriends.

f1 We love our talented, athletic, beautiful, multilingual queen

georgerussell63 y/n blink twice if you’re being held hostage

♥�� yn

⤷ georgerussell63 That’s a sign. Help is on the way dear

alexandrasaintmleux Tell her I’m in need of a date at the mall

⤷ landonorris i’m not her assistant?

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux Aren’t you?

⤷ landonorris ms wolff said she is available any time for you. but not for me ig.

francolapinto i was the line leader in 3rd grade 🙂‍↕️

⤷ landonorris seriously? on my own post? i’ll kill you

⤷ carlossainz55 That escalated quickly

⤷ landonorris i zont play about my girl

⤷ francolapinto well i tried

⤷ landonorris try again and see what happens ❤️

🝮

yn

liked by lilamoss and 4,461,220 others

yn lan saw it first

landonorris first

⤷ carlossainz55 second

⤷ charles_leclerc third

⤷ oscarpiastri fourth

landonorris lawd have mercy 😫 i’m about to bust

⤷ yn awh thanks babe

landonorris you’re so cute i can’t get enough of you

landonorris most beautiful girl i have ever laid eyes on how did i get so lucky

⤷ yn you sweet talker 💌

⤷ oscarpiastri Seriously though, how did you get her to date you I’m still baffled

⤷ landonorris years and years of begging, endless amounts of gifts and flowers, zero contact with any females i’m not related to, and charisma 😎

⤷ oscarpiastri I wonder how much money you’ve spent on her over the years

⤷ landonorris you do not want to know 😎

⤷ landonorris forgot to mention i became best friends with her family and got invited to all vacations, holidays, and birthdays so she couldn’t avoid me 😎

alexandrasaintmleux Heaven sent 🪽🤍

⤷ yn thank ya angel baby 👼🏽

francisca.cgomes ooh lala 🙉

landonorris i was the line leader in 3rd grade

⤷ francolapinto seriously?

⤷ pierregasly You made it to 3rd grade?

⤷ landonorris shut your butt

⤷ pierregasly You first

🝮

alexandrasaintmleux

liked by landonorris and 871,054 others

alexandrasaintmleux Aquí me quedo

yn mi chica 🙂‍↕️

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux mi amor 😘

landonorris release her now. give her back. i have not seen her in ages. this is not funny.

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux You seen her at lunch? Besides she love it over here

⤷ yn yeah i love it over here

⤷ landonorris don’t make me send out a amber alert

⤷ oscarpiastri Please not again you had all of Italy in a state of panic last time

landonorris why are you matching with my wife?? just say you hate me

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux 😏

⤷ landonorris did you just threaten me?

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux 😭

⤷ landonorris you this is funny? i’m getting grey hairs woman GIVE MY GIRLFRIEND BACK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I’M HAVING WITHDRAWALS PLEASE

landonorris fuck she so hot

landonorris who’s the hottie on the right???

landonorris i will find you and i will make you regret hiding my wife from me

⤷ yn lando please. you have my location

⤷ landonorris oh silly me 😅 coming to get you be there in 10 minutes ❤️

⤷ yn i’m 30 minutes away?? do not put yourself in danger lando i’ll smack you upside the side

⤷ landonorris baby, danger is my middle name 😎

⤷ yn oh just die

⤷ landonorris okay i’m getting a lot of mixed signals idk if you want me dead or safe?? like my head hurts please choose ❤️

⤷ yn die

⤷ landonorris whatever you say baby ❤️

🝮

yn

liked by naraaziza and 3,451,802 others

yn the legend lives on

landonorris who’s the hottie behind the camera 😍

⤷ alex_albon *debbie ryan smirk* *raises hand shyly* 🙂‍↕️

⤷ landonorris shut your face do not steal the show from my lady

⤷ landonorris as i was saying…who’s the hottie behind the camera 😍😍😫

⤷ yn shut your face

⤷ landonorris mmm i love dirty talk

⤷ yn don’t make me get a restraining order

⤷ landonorris kay, i’ll meet you in the hotel room 😈

alexandrasaintmleux Unfortunately

georgerussell63 My petite prince 👑

⤷ landonorris yk what ain’t petite though?

⤷ georgerussell63 Was just trying to have some light hearted banter 😔

francolapinto dang

⤷ alex_albon alright lil bro do you have some sort of death wish or something?

⤷ oscarpiastri I’ve seen him cuss out this server at a gala cause he complimented her dress…it was pretty entertaining tbh but I think he was gay

⤷ carlossainz55 One time I told her she looked pretty (purely platonic she’s a baby) and that night I woke up to him sitting in the corner of my room. Almost shit myself.

⤷ lewishamilton Not to be a gossip or anything but like he knocked this guy out in my garage once cause he gave her a weird compliment and he was like 40, I think that’s when Toto finally accepted him

francolapinto you two are endgame fr🤞🏽

⤷ landonorris right? (don’t try to lock your doors i’ll find a way in)

🝮

landonorris

liked by judebellingham and 3,890,154 others

landonorris my wife (she ain’t gonna be able to walk tomorrow)

alex_albon just put the fries in the bag bro

lewishamilton Let’s put the phone down for a bit bud

oscarpiastri Please, this can’t be healthy. I’m sick of hearing you two every weekend

⤷ landonorris sorry osc i can’t function without her my body starts to shut down

georgerussell63 How many PowerPoints do I need to make?? ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

maxverstappen1 Get the wheelchair ready

lando.jpg my cute amazing talented tan beautiful funny sexy hot sweet wife

⤷ yn so when are you gonna stop calling me your wife and actually make me one?

⤷ lando.jpg soon baby, trust me

⤷ danielricciardo This actually sounded so sweet

pierregasly My kinda guy 🤝🏽

yn my dad see’s these

⤷ landonorris are you cereal?? and you’ve never told me??? i’m to young to die

lilymhe babygirlll 😍😍

⤷ landonorris please, not today

mclaren Please stop posting things like this Lando it is bad for our image

⤷ landonorris that’s telling me to stop breathing I CANT it’s just who i am

charles_leclerc Okay but why is she so good at tennis?

⤷ yn what am i not good at? 😂

⤷ charles_leclerc Being nice 😖

⤷ yn i’m very nice just not to you

⤷ charles_leclerc I’ll sue you

⤷ landonorris I’ll drown you ❤️

🝮

yn

liked by brock.purdy13 and 5,153,403 others

yn my favorite puppy dog 🤍

landonorris awhhh you do love me 😘

landonorris ugh i’m touched

landonorris baby i’d follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked me to

landonorris sweetest brat ever

landonorris i’ve never loved anyone or anything the way i love you

landonorris my one love forever

landonorris i’ll never get tired of loving you

landonorris there are no words that can describe the love i have for you

landonorris you have me wrapped around your finger

landonorris you’re so perfect i can’t fathom your beauty

landonorris most precious soul ever

landonorris i can’t imagine my life without you, you’ve changed me for the better

landonorris the yin to my yang

landonorris you complete me

landonorris i was made to love you

landonorris let’s fuck 🌹

⤷ oscarpiastri Almost had it

⤷ landonorris I CANT CHANGE WHO I AM OSCAR I WAS BORN LIKE THIS DID YOU NOT HEAR ME SAY I WAS MADE TO LOVE HER I’VE BEEN YEARNING FOR HER MY ENTIRE LIFE OSCAR LET ME LIVE

⤷ francolapinto a man who yearns is a man who earns ☝🏼

⤷ landonorris does this have some sort of double meaning?? cause i’ll kill you fr 🤞🏽

landonorris as i was saying, let’s fuck 💐

⤷ yn kay, i’ll meet you in the hotel room 😈

⤷ georgerussell63 IS SOMEBODY GONNA MATCH MY FREAK?? IS SOMEBODY GONNA MATCH MY NASTAYYYY???

[thefunkfactory]

Michael’s Pits

Getting into his car Michael closed the door and basked in the hot musty sedan. It was a hot day and he had left a pair or two of worn shoes sitting in his car just baking and letting their aroma amplify. Michael took in some deep breaths as he felt sweat running down his body, he had just exited the gym and the hot sun outside kept his body from cooling off. Michael loved summer because he always worked up the most stink during the sweltering summer months, lifting his arms. He turned his head to get a deep sniff of one pit and then turned his head to get a whiff of the other. Both were producing a dank scent that pleased Michael and his dim mind. Hearing his phone buzzing he looked down and saw someone texting him, the text was from his boyfriend asking what he wanted to do for dinner.

Camron was a little surprised when his boyfriend Michael texted back and told him “we shuld get a pizza bro”, Michael never spoke like that so it was very odd to Camron that Michael was texting like a dumb jock all of a sudden. “Sure babe I’ll order it” Camron texted, he called the pizza place they go to sometimes.

Walking into the pizza place a sweet looking guy was standing at the cash register, “Hi how can I help you today?” he asked Michael. Michael looked at him dumbly for a second and a dopey grin crossed his face, “Great! A fucking weirdo” thought the cashier. The cashier, Sage, asked again, “How can I help you today, sir?”. Michael’s foggy brain cleared up a little bit to allow him to tell the cashier what he needed, “Uhhh hi bro im picking up a pizza”, “What’s the name?” Sage politely asked, “Uhhhh it’s under…ummmm…” his brain was having trouble getting his boyfriend’s name out “it’s under Camron!” he shouted out joyfully. “Okay! Let me go get that for ya” Sage said, going into the kitchen Sage found the pizza box with Camron scribbled on the side. Walking back out Sage was met with the sight of Michael sniffing his armpit, Sage could smell the B.O. wafting over the counter and into his nose. “Ummm here you go sir…” Sage said apprehensively as he was being weirded out, “Do you think my pits stink lil man?” Michael asked the cashier as he scratched his fingers in his wild forest of pit hair. “Ummm sir…I-,” Sage stuttered out “Here give em a whiff” Michael said, sticking the hand he was just scratching his revolting pit with into the cashier’s face, Michael laughed as Sage took an accidental sniff.

Sage felt his body go limp as the stench emanating off Michael’s fingers put him in a trance, “Whats happening!?!” Sage thought “This…this guy…reeks”. Michael watched as the cute little cashier began to drool, his eyes became unfocused and dull upon smelling Michael’s masculinity. Removing his fingers for a second, Michael walked around the counter to be right next to Sage, getting a couple whiffs of fresh air, Sage shook his head and blinked. Wiping the drool away he shouted out “What just happened?! G…get away! NO! BACK OF MAnnn…” Sage’s words drifted off as he was put back in Michael’s stinky armpit. Holding the pipsqueak’s head into his pit, Michael watched as his musty scent did it’s job.

Sage began to grow, the first transformation Michael saw started after about a minute or two of exposure to the stink. Sage’s neck began to expand with muscle, which quickly spread into his dainty shoulders, turning them into two massive hulking mounds. Sage felt as an intense tingling descended into his arms, they quickly transformed into looking like a hillside, all the rolling muscles he had just grown were so perfect and round. His armpits filled with a peppering of hair and began to produce their own nauseating stench similar to Michaels. Michael looked on proudly as Sage’s pecs bounced out and touched him and his stomach chiseled itself into a perfect six pack. Sage’s thighs began to expand next as the transformation moved downwards, the tiny toothpicks he once had for legs turned into massive meaty members holding him up. His feet began to grow next and they quickly burst out of the sneakers containing them and released Sage’s newly developed rotten foot funk.

Pulling his victim out of his armpit, Michael got to see his new face. It had changed while stuck in Michael’s smelly pit. His skin had gotten a good bit darker, his goatee had become just a patch of hair underneath his chin, and his stache disappeared. He lost all the femininity he once had and looked like a reeking latino gym bro. Michael was satisfied and took the pizza and left, on his way out another young twinkish customer walked in and he heard Sage ask the customer “Huhuhuh bro do my pits stink?”.

[voidzphere]

☆ MASTERPOST // INTRO !!!

[ ALL THE BLOGZ I RUN: @killersanz (sideblog) @dailykillerr (daily killer sans that i have not posted on yet erm) ]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

╭───────────── * ˚ ✦

hii !! im killer, but my friendz + mootz call me killz !! welcome to my blog ^_^ i love u too brutiee @mewobrute <33 (more stuff under the cut!!)

╰───────────── ✧.* ⋆

✩ ABOUT ME !!! >_<

FIRST OFF, HERE ARE SOME OF MY FLAGZ !!! :3 ↓↓↓

my main prnz are he/it/bite, but i alzo use vamp/fang/bone/skull/blood/gore/knife ! (plz dont refer 2 me w they/them)

my special interest is undertale + utmv ! (if that waznt obv enough..)

i love love LOVE horror gamez .. some of my favz rn are kinitopet, imscared, house, ddlc, rental, and bonnie's bakery :]

I HAVE A PERSONA ! u can find itz ref sheet here :] i uzually draw myself as either him or juzt killer sans !!

I LOOOVE MY MOOTZ, FRIENDZ, AND PARTNER <333

some of my current hyperfixationz are fionna & cake, smg4, regretevator, atsv, invader zim, adventure time & dialtown !

i have a guestbook !! leave a little note for me to read if u want :3

some of my fav bandz/artistz are talking heads, misfits, bad brains, rio romeo, lemon demon, will wood, pixies, melanie martinez, alex g, 6arelyhuman, goreshit, sex pistols, potsu, the living tombstone, etc. !

some of my fav songz are alien blues, vampire culture, laplace's angel, dr sunshine is dead, seriously?, genius of love, at the movies, charlie's inferno, etc. !

✩ my tagz !

#killz art - my art !! :3

#killz rb - reblogz

#killz yapz - my yap sessionz

#killz answerz - answerz to my askz

#vent kinda - my (kinda) ventz

#tag/ask game - self-explanatory

#killersanz - stuff related to my killer sans ask blog !

#killz fingie doodlez - stuff i drew w my finger :3

#killz srb - self reblogz

#killz sans - my sonaaa ^_^

✩ dni

basic dni criteria

istz + phobez

epiciller, /r + /sx errorink, etc.

pro/dark/comship (or whatever you call your weirdo selvez..)

irl doublez (unless i knew u beforehand!!) (im irlz of killer, reaper, & epic.)

minorz who post nsfw cuz ion wanna see that shit man go do ur homework

slander of my interestz/special interestz + hyperfixationz like stfu

mockery of me and/or my traitz (i.e my typing quirkz)

unwanted criticism, especially if i didnt ask for it. stfu part 2

anyone i've had drama with + my exez (fuck you)

HOMESTUCK. and hazbin hotel + helluva boss (tbh i dont rlly care if you like these mediaz and interact with me, just dont talk abt it in front of me yknow)

✩ byi + boundariez

i have autism + adhd, BPD, & typing quirkz !! tone indicatorz are optional when talking to me, but i appreciate them.

i'm an irl + fictkin ! i have a few c-linkz as well.

im not a roleplay account btw /srs

my art requestz are alwayz open ! can't promise i'll alwayz do them, but they help me out with inspiration though :3

DO NOT REPOST MY ART. i will find you

if you use my art, credit me. you dont alwayz gotta ask me before usin my art, but i appreciate it if you do !!

my askbox + dmz are alwayz open !! i love meetin new people n gettin to know em :] im fine w tagz, commentz, & spam-likez/reblogz too !

i might accidentally spam-like (i get too excited).

just because i make suggestive jokez and im hypersexual doez not mean i'm not sex-replused from time to time.

im a DID system and use i/me pronounz. i don't talk about my DID often becauze i see it as unimportant to other ppl.

i'm nonhuman !! plz do not refer to me as human. i prefer skeleton termz over everything else. im ur favorite homozexual cryptid-skeleton :3

i tend to ramble, say thingz that are out-of-pocket, have trouble with volume control/typing in all capz, make inappropriate jokez, flirt with & tease my close friendz, etc. if u ever find any of this bothering, plz inform me and i will stop.

i love drama + gossip, i will argue with strangerz on the internet just to spite them bc i find it funny ^_^ (only if theyre in the wrong and deserve it.)

i have strong opinionz and will shit-talk you if you're a weirdo who deservez it.

my blog, my rulez <3

★ last updated: 12/5/24

[jealousmartini]

Boundaries and stuff?? Girl Idk

So today is my fake 18th🙄 because even though I turned 18 today, my birthday is on the 20th in my better cr so uh. Don't feel shy to wish me a happy fake/early 18th guys👉🏾👈🏾

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

This blog is safe for people who openly (and thw ones who secretly) shift for sex. I see you, I feel you, and I AM one of you gang. Go get that foursome girl. I'll probably post some sex-safe things to put into your script just for you guys.

This blogger is a bisexual she/her girly girl and welcomes lgbtq+ shifters and loa practitioners, female, male, non binary, and trans people who want to experience love freely and be accepted for who they are. This goes for the asexual spectrum, too.

This blog is safe and supports manifesters/shifters who change their age to fit their desired realities. You are not a pedo for wanting to experience young love again and you are not a weirdo for wanting to take back your childhood that this reality stole from you at the age of 3.

This blog supports Palestine and is manifesting the end of the genocide as well as the rebuild of the beautiful country.

This blogger has a mutual age limit of 16 and upwards. Minors younger than 16 are allowed to interact through asks and stuff like that as well as follow this blog, but dms and asking to be moots are a no-no (if you are already mutuals with me and just so happen to be younger than 16, this doesn't apply to you)

This blog is safe for people who want to experience life as animals. Girl literally me too?? Tf??

This blog is safe for people who shift as different races, and also who don't necessarily agree with this. Both have their own reasons that are valid in themselves, but I don't want to see debate wars going on.

This blog is safe and welcomes permashifters and respawners. You guys are so real for dipping this reality, and I'm manifesting you find your way out of here as quickly and as swiftly as possible

This blog understands if you have to kill in your dr like monsters, zombies, pedos.. fuck em up bae.

Bonus!! :: This blog HIGHLY ENCOURAGES KPOP AND ANIME SHIFTERS TO FOLLOW THEM🙏🏾 PLEASE HIT ME UPPPP😫

This blogger also lowkey fucks with shifters/loa babes who want to manifest their desired realities to freely use unique neo-pronouns. LIKE FYM you've got a futuristic cyber themed magical girl dr where you are a cunty cyborg babe with technical powers and your neopronouns are pixie/pixel self?? HELLO??

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

[springgirlshowers]

hello! you’re my absolutely fav joost’s writer, and i would like to request hcs abt joost with a gf who has big boobs (i’m feeling like a pervert and creep and weirdo I’M SO SORRY) and it doesn’t have to be nsfw!!! thank you sm for all your work i hope you have a wonderful day😭😭

DO NOT WORRY AT ALL!!! joost has admitted to being a boob man and also who doesn’t love boobs! i may have written a lot but hope u enjoy (>ᴗ•) <333

cw: 18+, mentions of hickies, sexual acts, mans lowkey a perv in this

✿ he will absolutely stare. especially if you’re wearing a low cut top, he will stare.

✿ hell even if there’s no cleavage showing, he’s still gonna be staring at them, he is no better than the average man 😭

✿ to quote Sir-Mix-A-Lot: “i cant stop lookin at her ti-ti-ti-face”

✿ constantly catching him jus starin straight at em anywhere, while your sitting on the couch, at a restaurant, at the table, in the mirror, this man has no shame

✿ or always catching the way his eyes will flutter down to your chest when you’re talking to him

✿ you absolutely tease the hell out of him for it, calling him a perv or a freak and watching him giggle and blush

✿ sometimes you’d purposely wear a thin white shirt around the house, wearing that black lacy bra he loves just to drive him fucking crazy

✿ his hands have a tendency to stray when your cuddling

✿ laying behind you on the couch or bed, his hands will move from your stomach and trail up to your tits, giving them a tight squeeze just to mess with you and catch you off guard

✿ you’ll push your ass into his crotch just to (again) tease him back

✿ it’s weird, but he’s obsessed with the way he can’t fully grope all of your breasts in his hands, there’s always more than he can hold in his palms, he just thinks it’s hot lol

✿ again with the teasing, sometimes you’ll purposely wear a bra or shirt/tank top too tight where a bit of your boobs start spilling out, which makes him go nuts once again

✿ they make an amazing pillow for his head. seriously. he’s fallen asleep on them before.

✿ he’ll lay his head on your stomach and massage your tits like they’re stressballs after a long day

✿ there may or may not have been a few times where a titjob has been involved during sex

✿ LOVES to put his face all up in them and is always kissing them

✿ man loves a good tittysucking, he’d go for hours tbh, he goes insane at the sight of them after he’s marked you up in hickies and lovebites, that freak

✿ he gets so flustered when you walk around in a bra

✿ or when you try on a new bra/top or new lingerie, turning from the mirror to face him asking “do you think I look good in this?”

✿ “y-you look stunning, you look good in anything, liefje.” he’d respond as he goes red in the face, holding a pillow to hide his crotch

✿ he can’t handle when you jog to go get something and he sees them bounce

✿ he also goes crazy over the way they bounce when you’re on top of him, he’ll be grasping onto them or sitting up and kissing/sucking all over your chest while you bounce

✿ this may be too wild but flashing him during a conversation or even an argument just to catch him off guard

✿ “you can’t just show me your boobs to get me to shut up when we’re arguing!”

✿ imagine getting in an argument with him and be mad at him and you catch him staring again so you just put on a hoodie cuz he’s lost boob staring privileges ☠️☠️

✿ gets so fucking giddy when you ask for help taking off your bra

✿ in conclusion; you’re a tease and bros a perv and a absolute freak for your big tits

[helluvapoison]

Hey can you write headcanons for alastor, angel dust(both platonic) and sir pentious (romantic) with a gen z/millennial reader? Just general stuff and interactions (like maybe talking about how things are for the lgbt community with angel and talking to alastor about gramophones and how they're coming back in style) and just some shenanigans

I know you don't have these characters listed in your writing list, and it's completely fine if you cant write for them but i love your writing style and characterization so I wanted to know how you'd imagine things would go

Alastor, Angel Dust (platonic) and Sir Pentious (romantic) x Reader

˚✧₊⁎ Alastor ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• “Hey Al! Loving the drip, it’s giving strawberry cow meets dark academia core.”

• Now he knows what others feel like when speaking to Zestial. He doesn’t understand half of what you say

• You taught him “tea”. Originally he thought you were providing real tea, something useful, not tedious gossip about— Oh. Oh. That could come in handy, actually. Alastor begins to pencil you into his afternoon tea. Sometimes you bring him useful information, others he has to sit through petty issues that make his eye twitch

• Alastor outright bans you from using your phone around him. He has no interest in this “meme” that reminds you of him (Don’t bring it out again, next time he’ll break it)

You groan, “It’s not as funny if I have to explain it!”

“It must not be very humorous in the first place.” He retorts

• He thinks you’re complimenting his taste in decor when you call it vintage

• You’ve proven yourself a useful acquaintance. Like Nifty, he’s grown accustomed to your presence and learned it may be better not to understand the inner workings of your mind

• “Got any aces?” someone asks while you play Go Fish with Husk, Angel and Sir Pina Colada. You never fail to jab a thumb in Alastor’s direction, cackling and kicking your feet

• They give you a peculiar look in reply

“Fuck you guys, I ate.”

• Yeah, they don’t get that one either

˚✧₊⁎ Angel Dust ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• It feels like every day Angel’s mid-insult and snapping his fingers at you, beckoning for you to conjure up a fresh comeback

• “Ooh! You just got cancelled, take the L, you fucking poser!”

He cackles, “Yeah! What they said!”

• Started calling himself an e-girl because you said it once about Charlie and never elaborated. He thinks it means cute… He’s not wrong? You don’t correct him, it’s funnier this way

• Playful arguments 24/7

“RIP, Angel, you would have loved Mean Girls— Wait, if a movie dies would it come to Hell? Never mind, don’t answer that, it would obviously go to Heaven.”

“I’ve met some real weirdos down here, sweetheart, and you outrank almost all of ‘em.”

• Something Angel noticed he could only appreciate from you is how different you react to his relationship with Val. He already knows it’s not healthy and he knows he gets defensive when people bring it up. Like the others, you listen, you comfort, you get furious on his behalf. You also offer him insight and labels he never thought would be helpful

• You hold up two fingers like you’re conducting an orchestra as you speak, “Say it with me; boundaries, bitch.”

“Boundaries..? S’at like bondage–?”

”NO!”

• Angel’s the only one that makes HellToks with you. The dances he learns faster and performs them better than you, often adding his own choreography to them. The “pass the phone” challenges never end well– especially when he tries to rope Nifty or Alastor in on them (RIP your old phone)

• Honestly, you’re pretty surprised you get along with Angel as well as you do. Y’know, considering he died a thousand years before you—

“I ain’t that old!”

“Your death certificate says otherwise, fam!”

˚✧₊⁎ Sir Pentious ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• He’s not sure how to handle how touchy you are first. You go around high-fiving everyone, freely holding hands with whoever lets you, offering hugs and– thump. Your head hits his lap, staring straight right at him with a goofy grin. And that.

• “Say slay,”

“Sssslay?”

• Oh. He quite likes the laugh that gets out of you

• Starts saying the word as much as possible, puffing his chest out proudly when you double over laughing. You don’t have the heart to tell him he’s using it wrong 99.9% of the time

• When you began consistently picking him for a chair instead of the others, he was stuck between throwing you across the room and making a break for it or pointing and laughing in the faces of everyone else. You chose him! HA!

• Bless his soul, the way he asked you out was so sweet

“I’ve done extensive research and found the equivalent of going sssteady in your language! I would like for us to move forward with the relationship ssstatus.”

“Huh? Oh. You want to go out with me? Yeah!”

“Fuck yesss!“

• Pentious gives ride or die a new definition. Everything you say or you do, he will back you up. His eyes sparkle from the praise you give him

• That, and making him blush takes little effort on your part. Complimenting him like you always do (at least he thinks you are, sometimes he’s not certain) has his cheeks glowing in seconds

• After following you around for an hour, because Pentious wanted to make sure you could get along with the Egg Boiz without him, they adopt bits of your personality and bizarre phrases. “Now we have two parents!” “No cap!” “Yes cap, you’re wearing a hat!”

• You’ve single handedly make the Egg Boiz worse in the eyes of everyone but Pen. He’s ecstatic over the results, he doesn’t know what he would do if he had to choose between you and his eggs

~

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ this was so silly and fun, i hope you enjoy anon!

[damascus-crowned-king]

Foolish love, but damn if it isn't true

Fool!Guy and Fool!Honey

It's really fucking bad yall

They were bored.

They were the only one awake at 6:30 AM, and they hated it. Years of waking up early out of fear that they would be late for some sort of event or that if they didn't wake up early enough, they wouldn't be as productive was biting them in the ass.

So they decided to bother their adorable, grumpy, currently asleep boyfriend.

"Guy."

"Baby."

"Darling."

"Sugar."

"Flour. Egg. Butter. Vanilla extract. Baking soda. "Salt. If you don't answer me, the pet names are just gonna get weirder, Guy."

"Nothing? Alright."

...

Radio silence.

"My oatmeal cream pie. My tomato soup."

"My honey-"

It only took a second for Guy to grab the back of their head and shove their face into a pillow and lay on top of them. Rendering them immobile.

"Oomph!"

"First of all. I call you honey, not the other way around. Second of all, It's too early and you should go back to bed. Third of all, why were almost all of those "pet names" food related?"

"I'm bored... and I can't go back to sleep, and also, I'm hungry, and who said that you trademarked the nickname 'honey'?!"

He replied dryly. "I did."

They squirmed for a minute before giving up under him. "Can you get off of me now?"

He questioned them slightly, still mildly crushing them under his weight. "Are you gonna chill out?"

"Maybe..."

"..."

"....Okay I'll calm down... lame-ass..."

"Did you say something?"

"Nothing, sweetheart~"

"That's what I thought." He got off top of them and laid on his side while Honey wrapped their arms around him so he could nuzzle his face in their chest.

They eventually started scratching his scalp, and they made a small smile at him leaning into their touch. "Your roots are kinda showing. Do you want me to touch 'em up for you?"

Guy scrunched his face in confusion and slight judgment at their behavior, still mumbling into their neck. "Honey. Did you just sniff my hair?"

Guy buried his face in the crook of their neck and wrapped his arms around them even tighter, mumbling a tired response. "Yeah... Tomorrow."

Honey slightly shivers at Guy's warm breath on their neck, smirking at his clinginess. "Okay." Letting out a soft confirmation before burying their face in his hair, taking a deep whiff of his natural scent mixed with his coconut and mango shampoo.

Honey smirked at Guy's convicting tone. "What? You smell good."

Guy scoffed at honey, finding their fascination for his smell odd. "You're such a weirdo..."

"What? You want me to say you smell bad? 'Cus I could."

"I mean, you could, but then you'd just look like a liar..."

"Do you want me to appreciate your smell or say you smell gross?"

"You could just... not smell me. That's an option." He says, throwing out the proposition, knowing full well it won't be taken into consideration.

Honey, fake-considers his suggestion, very obviously not actually thinking about not smelling him. "Mmmmm nah I'll pass."

Guy rolls his eyes and holds Honey tighter, wrapping his legs around them like a koala. Squeezing them tightly while they play with his hair.

This was the life to Guy. Silence and cuddles, Honey's fingers tangling into his hair and Guy secretly taking in their scent. (Hypocrite) Who wouldn't love this serene, still moment...

"Has anyone told you you're absolutely perfect?"

Guy was stunned to say the least. For Honey to say something so out of the blue and something so sappy had his heart skipping a beat.

"Um... no? What's up with you?" Guy was confused. Confused but not that surprised. His Honey was always one to speak their mind, but sometimes they said things that had him flustered. And he wasn't exactly the best at preparing for their unaware sweet words.

"Just sayin'. You're adorable, you're sweet, you smell amazing all the time, and you feed me. That seems like perfect boy behavior to me."

Whoooo boy. Yep. This is how he dies. Four years of being together, and he still turned into a bashful mess whenever Honey was all mushy with him... which was most of the time.

"God you are so..."

"Sooo...? What?"

Guy lets out a soft, resigned sigh and leans into them. "Charming."

Honey snorts at Guy somewhat dropping the tough-guy act and admitting he finds them charming, their ego rising at his simple word of affirmation.

"And that's all the sappy shit you're getting out of me today. No more."

"Ahhh I knew it... you're no fun..."

"Not my problem."

"But you know what is your problem?"

Guy groaned, clearly not excited for whatever was about to come out of his Honey's mouth. "What?"

Honey spoke up with a smirk in their voice. "Breakfast~"

"Ughhhh...."

"Soooo. What should we have for breakfast? We could have waffles, hashbrowns, Omelettes, grits? Ooh! We could have French toast and sausage?"

Guy rolled his eyes as they rambled about various breakfast foods, but deep down he knew he'd make a four course breakfast meal for his Honey. Because they deserved it. They deserved the world after dealing with his sass and sarcasm and monotone, lackluster personality, and his absence of... everything for years and even deciding to date him after putting up with all of it.

So he'll gladly make them breakfast.

And gladly give them the whole world if they asked.

Anything for his Honey.

[cheydlerarts]

OC x Canon Instagram art contest ~✧

Thank you all for the love and support!! I've been in the creepypasta fandom for a decade now, and ever since I "officially" came back a year ago, I've been welcomed with open arms and it feels like im back in the 2010's again in the best way 😭🖤

RULES !!: - Draw your oc x canon creepypasta ship! Self inserts are allowed and encouraged! - NO AI !! - NO tracing! (free to use bases are fine) - No NSFW! - Tag your entry as #creepypasta and #ocxcanon - Tag and @ me so I can see your entry! - You can use other's ocs, as long as you get their permission ! - You can treat this as a DTIYS if you want (this will not effect your score) - If you use my oc Chev, pls also tag it #chevonnerojas and #chainbridgecrawler 👉👈

PRIZES !!: - 1st place: Fully rendered drawing, up to 3 characters - 2nd place: Clean sketch, toon shaded drawing, up to 2 characters - 3rd place: Flat colored sketch, up to 2 characters

Winners will be picked September 27th! (will be extended if need be)

All entries will be added to a highlight!

I mainly wanted to host this contest because too many people these days are too afraid to be "cringe". A lot of people DM me asking how I have the courage to ship my oc with canon characters, and I always tell them that I don't care what people think about my harmless drawings! I just post em, and people seem to like them 🖤

There are so much more supporters than haters out there, and you'd be surprised by how much support you'd get by posting oc x canon! Including me! I LOVE when people ship their ocs or themselves with fictional characters! It makes me happy c:

I honestly think it's cringe when people hate on these things. As long as the ships are appropriately aged and not problematic, literally who gives a fuck? I think YOU should go outside and touch grass, weirdo.

[astriddestelle]

It’s official Dandadan is my new favorite anime. I fucking love it. Maybe a bit too early to say so, but imma say it anyways.

Aira is my favorite character I can’t she’s so unhinged. She reminds me of Squidward, thinks they’re amazing, above everyone else, when in reality they’re just delusional, also peep the character development of her standing up for momo we love a woke queen.

The romance and friendship between Momo and Okarun is so fucking cute I love it, chat when is it my fucking turn.

Momo’s friends are fucking hilarious, I love how they’re not assholes. Usually when the character starts hanging out with the nerdy kid the friends ditch em or give em an ultimatum but her friends are so supportive I love it.

Why am I out here feeling sorry for the bad guys. (Cept the alien robot men fuck those weirdos). This show got me stressing over a weirdo shrimp man the fuck and wishing the best for him. Bros weirdly adorable.

Wouldn’t be a show about aliens if they didn’t have the cow being abducted scene now would it.

[hiroyildiz]

One Piece but Luffy is flirty as fuck.

This boy was raised on a bar until he was seven. He spend most of his time with Shanks in said bar and idolized that man. He heard so many things.

Then he was sent to live with literal bandits and I'll be damned if those dumbasses never tried to rip off rich assholes by schmoozing em.

There is also Ace and Sabo. These three tricked restaurants into believing they were an adult man. I can't imagine Ace not taking the role a little too far and flirting with waiters. Sabo was raised rich and he never grew out of that gentelmanly passive aggressive flirtation tactics that work on rich women, whick consisted of body language and small touches on the hands, shoulders and hair. After Sabo's incident it was only two of them Luffy would sweet talk people to distract them as Ace piled up dishes from the kitchen.

Worst thing is, he doesn't even know he is doing it. He is constantly using words like: love, honey, sugar, sweetheart, etc... and his crew just gets used to it along with pecks on the cheek and pats on their shoulders, arms, cheeks, legs... They know he doesn't mean anything bad by it but their first meeting were awkward at best.

Luffy: All this heat must be getting to your pretty head, what about you come with me sugar and sail the seas?

Zoro *thinking*: I will kill this guy.

-after all the fiasco-

Luffy: What do you say, love? Ready to go?

Zoro *thinking*: Wtf? I'm... gay?

Zoro: Aye aye, captain.

Luffy *twirling a lock of Nami's hair on his fingers*: You know stealing is bad, kitten.

Nami: Listen here you fuck-

Luffy: I knew your daddy, he was a nice guy, very handsome, just like you.

Nami, Usopp: WTF MAN???

(Zoro is getting the hang of Luffy-ism at the time so he doesn't outwardly react but still feels the shiver)

Luffy: All Blue can have all the fish at the sea, if only I get to keep you, darlin'.

Sanji *panicking bc some weirdo is flirting w him*: Nu-uh. I'm into women. Go away. Go. Just go!

Luffy: *Only ever addresses Vivi as Princess*

Luffy: The real monster is my heart, can't you hear it roaring?

Chopper *a doctor*: What do YOU MEAN YOUR HEART IS ROARING?!

Luffy: Sure u can stay Mama.

Robin: *morbidly curious and entertained*

Luffy: Wow, look at those guns, baby.

Franky: *too dense to know what flirting look like*

Franky: I know right. They are SUPER.

Brook: I can't feel anything. Why? Because I'm all bones and no skin! Yohohohoho!

Luffy: Does that mean you can't feel my love for you?🥺

Brook *panicked*: Of course I feel it! Deep in my bones! Yohohohohoho...

Luffy: You can have my heart mr. tall, dark and handsome.

Law * Slightly suspicious*: No thanks.

Luffy: U sure, sweetheart? It beats for u. *Wink wink*

Law *100% suspicious*: U-huh.

Luffy *At Wano*: Kids! Daddy is back!

Crew: *Cheers*

Jimbe *Resigned after Impel Down plus Marinefors plus Mermaid Island*: Yeah kids, daddy's home!

Everyone is mortified. Straw Hats are the flirtiest bunch u will ever meet. And Shanks doesn't even know what he has created.

[lilacevans]

meet some of the pete's place regulars!

˚ ♡ ✧.* : ̗̀➛ requests by: two anons, @welight-theway, @crokitheloki, @hansensgirl, @buggy14, @leaderofthebadbitchbrigade.

✧.*ೃ⁀➷ pete's place | the intro | opening night | the playlist ༊*·˚

this is a dark au/verse. minors need not interact. happy endings don't happen here.

𝐀𝐧𝐝𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐞𝐫 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐋𝐚𝐰𝐲𝐞𝐫

41 years old.

6’2’’.

Suburban dad with a dark side. 

Likes flashing the cash for a look as he doesn’t get much attention back home.

Never misses stopping by when he’s in town.

Has a type and it just so happens to be you.

Brings you gifts; new outfits, new shoes, gold chains, etc, every single time he visits the club.

Will spend the whole night promising you the world– and his wallet, if you just go home with him.

Top Three: Daddy Kink, Overstimulation, Praise Kink. 

𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐫 𝐕𝐞𝐭

45 years old.

6’4’’.

Oh, what a nice man–

Warning sirens sound in the distance.

Danger! Danger! 

The man will make you beg, make you cry, rearrange your insides, make you fall in love and break you down all within a night.

The man is all kinds of fucked up. But knows how to hide it well.

Under Lloyds employement so like, you can guess the kinds of fucked up. 

Did awful things while serving in the army, brought some of that back home with him.

Protect you? More like slaughter anyone who gives you a momentary glance. 

Top Three: Rough (Violent) Sex, Service Kink, Corruption Kink.

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐛𝐨𝐲

28 years old.

6’1’’.

Cocky motherfucker, hot and he knows it.

The embodiment of a hyper puppy. 

Acts like he’s always got the zoomies whenever he’s in the club.

Annoys the absolute shit out of all the girls but he’s hot, so they deal with it.

Secretly a sweetheart but never shuts his mouth.

Gets a little too handsy when he’s had a drink– or five. 

Always asking Pete to loan him one of his girls for the night.

Don’t get him twisted, the guy FUCKS. and he's NASTY about it

Top Three: Dirty Talk, Deepthroating, Body Worship (receiving). 

𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐟

43 years old.

6’0’’.

Corrupt little wank, like’s to make Pete nervous when he comes around, but he’d never spill on the shady things as he likes the club’s views. 

Talks big shit but you’ll find him in the VIP rooms on a Saturday night. 

A little wrong in the head, but treat him right and he’ll make you scream. 

Can get a little rough with the girls when he's had a few.

Tight with money so always tries it on for a discount for not opening his mouth.

Has a big cock and is smug about it.

Likes 'em on their knees with an wide open mouth.

Top Three: Daddy Kink, Corruption Kink, Choking. 

𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐬 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐲𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐋𝐚𝐰𝐲𝐞𝐫

32 years old

6’0’’.

Troubled addict that’s in the club; Every. Single. Night.

Likes just to watch, girls kinda hate him in the club because he won’t even throw a dollar bill but will spend a paycheck on drinks and other things.

Spends money he doesn’t have, does the odd job for Pete when he’s in a little legal trouble which gets him the odd night in the VIP rooms.

Don’t underestimate him though.

Will have you crawling back for seconds.

While not the roughest by any means, get him high enough and annoyed enough, he’ll make sure you’re not walking for the next two weeks.

Top Three: High Sex, Overstimulation, Throat-Fucking. 

𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐊𝐞𝐦𝐩 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 𝐎𝐧𝐞

35 years old

6’1’’.

Idk, fam, somethings off about this one but we're gonna ignore it, okay?

Stares a little too long, kinda like he’s hunting.

Makes your heart race a little being around him– fuck or fight i guess. I know which I’m doing. 

Tips nicely but never wants a private dance, likes to watch and drop cash at your feet after.

Weirdo tbh. It’s not like he ain’t got the money. 

Sucks to be you if you decide to go home with him.

You ain't coming back, honey.

Top Three: Blood Play, Knife Play, Bondage/Rope.

*** if by chance, i have missed your req and you know you sent it before reqs were closed, please let me know asap so i can add it to this list!! thank u all sm for u patience. i love u all<33

[em-harlsnow]

em idk if ur still doing those tiktok trend requests but my god the "can you watch my boyfriend real quick?" trend is making me SCREAM, i think you would have fun with that one! 💗

hello!!! yes i am still doing it whenever I see one I like. I love this trend, it’s so funny!

Ian may have tiktok, but he’s not very social media oriented in general. Mickey gets nervous when people post pictures of him online anyway because of the cartel, even though Ian’s like 90% sure they won’t see Carl’s twitter with 11 followers.

But then there’s a trend he sees, and he can’t not do it. He just has to try it on Mickey and if that means forcing him in front of a camera, so be it. It’s not like he’ll post it.

Mickey’s eating breakfast in the kitchen when Ian sees the trend and it’s the perfect opportunity. He clicks onto his camera app and starts recording, propping it up in front of Mickey on a candle and making sure he can see that it’s filming.

“Fuck is this?” Mickey asks with his mouth full.

Ian ignores him, instead speaking to his phone. “I need to go out for a bit, can you watch my husband?” He says, smirking, and tussles Mickey’s hair when he starts to leave.

Mickey waves his arms around, clearly confused. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“Grocery shopping, don’t turn off the camera.” Ian calls back, half way out the door.

“Is this some kind of freaky role play?” He hears Mickey yell after him, but he’s already gone.

//

Mickey’s husband is an idiot.

Once he’s gone and has neither confirmed nor denied that this is a weird role play thing, Mickey glances suspiciously at the camera.

“What the fuck?” He mutters to the empty apartment. “He’s a fucking weirdo.”

He continues eating, finishing his cereal but it’s weird being watched by Ian’s stupid phone.

“Uh… I’m eating my niece’s Froot Loops.” He tells it, holding up his spoon to show the camera. “Ian says I eat like a twelve year old, but Ian eats like a 90 year old so he can’t fucking talk.”

The phone doesn’t reply, just records him silently.

Mickey sighs, tapping his fingers in the counter. “Why’s he always got me doing shit like this?”

He makes eye contact with the camera and glares at it. “This is stupid.” Blowing out a breath, he tries to figure out what Ian wants him to do with this. As he does, he twists his ring around his finger and it gives him an idea. Slipping it off, he presents it to the camera. “See this? This is our wedding ring. We got it engraved last year. Fuck, Ian’s gonna love that I’m talking about his stupid sappy shit. Mine has IG on the inside and his has MM, because he’s soft as fuck.” Even as Mickey mocks him, there’s a shining happiness in his eyes.

Something else catches his eye, and he gets up to grab the flower bouquet on the kitchen counter, bringing it over to the phone. “Look. I got the asshole these. Blue roses. I think they’re fake or they were painted or some shit, but still.”

He sighs again, wondering what else he can show the camera. “I’m tryna find out what he got me for my birthday. I figure he must have hidden it somewhere around here but i can’t find it. Ian won’t tell me.” Mickey leans in close then, whispering at the camera. “Between you and me, I think he’s got it stashed at Lip’s house. But I got it covered, I’ll find it. I got a plan-“

The sounds of keys turning in the lock interrupts him, and he looks to the door guiltily. When Ian comes in, they grin at each other and then Ian kisses Mickey’s head.

Addressing the camera, he says, “I hope he was well behaved.” And then stops recording, watching Mickey roll his eyes.

“What was the point in that, man?”

Ian shrugs, and looks forward to watching it back.

—> send me a tiktok trend and i’ll write a fic!

-> also let me know if you want ian’s reaction to the video