#Fucked Around And Watched The Season Finale Again And Hurt Myself

[mrawkweird]

Season 2 of Made in Abyss is coming to toonami.

Yay.

Now I gotta watch the movie.

[cixrosie]

Kiss you Forever

Prompt: “I can kiss you forever,” Character B murmurs. “Yeah?” Character A says, laughing a little, only to stop when Character B leans in and presses a kiss against their cheek. “Yeah,” Character B says, “Yeah, I can. You think I’m lying?” with Kirby Dach

Seeing Kirby get pushed in to Blackhawks bench made you audibly gasp and you knew from the way he fell into it and how when he got up and wasn't putting weight on his right leg it was bad. You also knew it had to be bad with the way Arber, Juraj and Cole looked up at you briefly with saddened faces it was bad.

Usually when Kirby took a bad hit or whenever anything happened and he needed medical attention you immediately followed him to the medical room ,but you were kinda in shock so you didn't move and just waited until someone came and got you or Kirby sent you a text.

The other wags were worried about you, you completely zoned out on the replay they showed. " hey y/n why don't you go and see him" one of them said " I'll just wait until he needs me" you responded with .

Finally you had enough waiting and decided to go and see Kirby, just as you started gathering your belonging you heard the announcer confirm that Kirby wouldn't be returning to the game and you moved faster. The other wags sent you sad smiles.

You arrived to the medical room the door was closed but you immediately heard Kirby moaning in pain on the other side and felt bad for him. Should you have came down sooner to see him. Did he want to see you as he is in the most excruciating pain he's been in. So many thoughts ran through your head.

As you started to zone out again the doors open and you went in to finally see Kirby and you run to him carefully not to hit his leg or put too much force on him while he's in pain.

" Kirb are you ok" you asked " yea baby im ok " he started to say he then looked at his right legs and said " I mean as ok as I can considering" as he motioned towards his leg. " so what they say about your leg ?" " I don't know yet I have to go to the Emergency Room to get X-Rays to see exactly what's wrong , all I know is it hurts like a fucking bitch" he says trying to joke but you can tell he's doing it for show and for your sake .

You see one of the trainers bring Kirby his stuff and say " the cars ready for you man im ready when you are" "ok here I come " Kirby responds . " I gotta go baby we're going to the ER now". " Oh do you want me to-" " No its ok I'll meet you at home Cole will drive me" Kirby says cutting me off. It makes me kind of upset and sad but I shrug it off and remember he's in pain so he probably just wants to be alone and figure out what's going on with his leg and the future of this season and career.

"Ok I love you " I say kissing him with just the right amount of passion that says " im worried about you and I know you're scared but im here" but not so much that it makes the staff around us uncomfortable. " I love you too so much " he responds before handing me his car keys to drive back to our apartment since he drove us to the stadium. " text me updates when you can please" " I will" he responds.

When I got home I sat my things down and sat on the couch for at least an hour and half staring at my phone . Then I got up and distracted myself with a hot shower and ordered from Kirbys favorite pizza place so he can have it when he eventually gets home and if he's hungry.

It's about 4 hours later when I get a text from Kirby saying him and Cole were on the way back home. I was in our living room watching reruns of SpongeBob to get my mind off how long it was taking for any kind of updates . Eventually I hear our garage door open and close and smile and think " finally he's home" . I greet Kirby and Cole at the garage door entrance to our apartment , Kirby is leaning all his weight onto Cole which is a funny sign considering the height difference.

"Wow Cole that's some real hockey strength you've got there" you said as you laughed. "Bullshit" Kirby screamed , you Cole laughed . " Bullshit you say as im holding you up I'll toss you on the ground right here and leave your ass there" You and Cole laughed even harder as Cole helped Kirby to the kitchen . "Are you hungry babe", "starving" Kirby replied. " well lucky for you I ordered your favorite pizza". " Cole you're welcomed to some as well" "Thanks y/n but im good "

Thirty minutes after Cole left and you and Kirby finished eating you guys made your way upstairs to your room with you helping Kirby up the stairs . You also helped him shower and get changed for bed before getting yourself ready for bed as well.

As you turn off all the lights in the bedroom the only light coming from the moon you pull the blankets back on your side and climb in next to Kirby who is looking all snuggly and cuddly .

"Hi" he says with a lovesick look on his face as he looks at you . "Hi you" you respond returning the same look . " I know you don't want to talk about anything right now but just know im here whenever you're ready" .

Kirby just leans in and kisses you with so much passion that you feel his love through the kiss. " I can kiss you forever" he says " Yeah?" you say laughing a little only stopping when Kirby leans in and presses a kiss against your cheek. " Yeah I can . You think im lying " he says.

" I don't know I think I need more evidence " you say . " HA HA HA" he responds while smirking then his face turns serious . " Thank you so much for today baby" " Kirbs I didn't really do anything " " Probably to you but seeing you hold it together kept me sane while figuring things out , and I know it couldn't have been easy seeing me like that so thank you baby I love you so much" " I love you too Kirbs" you say as you kiss him one last time , before he kisses your head as you both fall asleep from the crazy turn of events.

Note: UMMM HII this is my first nhl fic please let me know what you think and request if you want ok bye <3

im tagging some ppl who ive read phenomenal fics and AUs from and mutuals and just overall great ppl. feedback is appreciated but don't feel like you have to ok bye fr this time <3

@kniesylenny @yankstrash @hischierhaze @heavenlyhischier @sweetestdesire @thatintrovertedwriter @starry-hughes @starsandhughes @drewsbuzzcut @bedsyandco @norrisjosh @theywantedplayer @sc0tters @bitchinbarzal @ladylooch @babydollmarauders @nicohischierz @nicohersheys @sunkissed-zegras @uluvjay

[pedriscroquettes]

𝐓𝐑𝐀 – FERMÍN LÓPEZ

summary. going clubbing doesn’t go as planned when your brother’s rival shows up to ruin the fun

warnings. fermín x paz!reader, f!oral, semi public s3x, fingering, & a cocky!fermín.

a/n. my brain worked overtime on this tbh. poor fran i completely slandered him in this. based off tra by bad gyal (catalan it girl)

the strobing lights were almost strong enough to blind you and half of the real madrid b squad. the dj seemed to be going through an existential crisis since he kept going back and forth between edm and reggaeton. you’re fortunate enough that he at least plays fiebre without remixing it or pausing it to try and drop a beat.

“joder.” your brother puffs clearly done with whoever he’s texting. (fuck.)

“is it the schedule?” you ask him wondering if this seasons schedule finally came out. it always got him worked up.

“no, this season seems like a good one. it’s just-” he sets his phone down before turning his head towards you.

“el boludo de agustin…” he takes a sip of his drink. he’s always been the most dramatic out of the two of you, clearly. (augustin’s dumbass.)

“nico, you already know that i’m not interested in him like that. he’s just my friend. ” you reassure him.

“no, i know and i don’t want to be an overbearing protective brother but mom would kill me if i let one of my teammates hurt you.” he sighs.

“nico i can take care of myself. don’t worry about me you’ve got a whole career ahead of you. focus on that instead.” you smile at him.

“i’m trying- joder” he scoffs again.

“now what?” you say concerned about the way his mood changed so quickly.

“look who just came in.” he nods towards the entrance.

you try to subtlety turn around but it’s almost impossible without doing a full 180 to see who your brother was talking about. your eyes immediately spot the three guys nico hated the most on the pitch. although out of all three of them only one stood out to you, fermín. you didn’t care for your brothers’ rivalries except for the one he had with the barcelona midfielder. not only did he bother nico but he bothered you as well. every time you were in barcelona he was always there with his annoying attitude.

“well, we are in their city.” you shrug trying to ignore their presence.

“there’s like a million other clubs here and out of all of them they arrive here it can’t be a coincidence.” he scoffs as if the three of the players had been following them.

“i’m not very fond of them either but you’re being ridiculous. we’re like ten minutes away from their training grounds i think it would be a coincidence that they’re here.” you explain logically.

“yeah what- you know what i’m just very stressed out about my whole nationality process right now. i’m gonna go get a drink. do you want anything?” he asks.

“no, it’s fine. just don’t indulge too much i do not want to take care of you again like in vigo.” you bring up the northern city into the conversation.

“you promised you wouldn’t bring that up again. that shit was so embarrassing.” he whines.

“i wasn’t the one who confessed their profound love for duki in his messages. i had to delete over ten voice notes of you singing, crying, and explaining why you’re better than emilia.” you burst out laughing.

“whatever, i’ll see you later.” he walked off.

you watched as your brother walked away either to find someone to flirt with or get another drink. he was the social sibling always outgoing and making friends as soon as he joined a new team. your house would always be full of people you hardly even knew. so you were surprised when his distaste for fermín began, your brother never held grudges. but then you met the devil himself and you realized why your brother disliked him.

he was arrogant, a total egomaniac, and an asshole. you remembered how nice he was to you when he first met you outside the stadium but as soon as he realized who’s sister you were he was always taunting you. you knew how serious rivalries were but you didn’t think it was that deep.

“hope your brother enjoyed my goal from the bench.” a voice interrupted your thoughts.

you look up to find him sitting in front of you replacing your brother. you’re studying his features when the chain around his neck distracts you. a cross. yet, he was somehow the worst person you knew. meanwhile, a smirk grows on his face as time passes and he realizes you’re not in a rush to get him to leave.

“milking a friendly today, are we?” you tease him.

“a friendly your brother spent at the bench the whole night.” he smirks.

“i’m starting to think you have a crush on my brother.” you laugh at him. “which probably explains why you always stalk my story every time we’re in town.”

“what are you talking about?” he scoffs at the accusation.

“felopez03? could you make it more obvious?” you manage to embarrass the barça player.

you had lied to your brother earlier. every time the two of you ran into fermín it was never a coincidence. you had debated on telling your brother about his secret admirer but quite frankly you loved the attention. you knew he always watched your stories when you were in town so you took advantage of that. posting pictures of yourself in short dresses, bikinis, and including some where the only thing covering your breasts were your hands. he always seemed to like those anyways.

“lópez is an extremely common last name.” he simply replies.

“good night fer.” you stood up and picked up your things.

“if you’re going to go like for your brother you won’t find him. saw him leave with a girl who looked very familiar. i think-” he paused debating on whether he should say what he was thinking. “i think i must’ve slept with her as well.”

you simply roll your eyes not wanting to be the victim of his ego. you check your phone and surely enough there’s a message from your brother. you can’t believe he’s left you alone with his teammates and the egomaniac to get laid.

nico 🐣: don’t wait up on me fran will take you home.

y/n: you left me alone to get laid? i hope she bites your dick off.

you shove your phone into your bag and begin looking around for fran. you spot the defender near the bar with a few of his teammates. you’ve avoided him for almost a month and the last thing you wanted tonight was to talk to him. the barça player seems to notice that too because as soon as you start walking towards fran he steps in front of you. you try to push him out of the way but he’s too strong.

“fer-” you sigh exhausted at his antics.

it all happens in a quick blur one minute you’re trying to shove fermin out of the way and the next you’re completely drenched in vodka. you’re not even sure how it happens but the girl in front of you is currently rambling about how sorry she was. you were a bit annoyed that the top you had just bought was now ruined but you could always borrow your brother’s card again.

“it’s okay. it’s fine don’t worry.” you try to calm her down because somehow she’s more upset about the situation than you are.

as soon as she leaves you head towards the bathroom hoping to dry off your shirt. you don’t realize that fermín has followed you into the bathroom until he shuts the door.

“what are you doing here?” you scoff.

“she spilled half of her drink on me too. must’ve tripped or something.” he murmured.

“and you came to dry your shirt in the women’s restroom?” you ask dumbfounded.

“well i can’t exact leave you alone in a bar full of strangers.” he shrugs.

“i know more than half of the people here.” you complain.

“yeah and they’re not exactly looking out for you. nico asked fran to take care of you and as far as i know he hasn’t come looking for you yet.” he bites back.

you murmur a quick ‘whatever’ before focusing on your top again. it’s completely wet from top to bottom so you have no other option but to take it off. you completely forget about fermín’s presence when you start walking around the restroom with your black lace bra and mini skirt. fermín tries his best to look away, to be respectful for once but you leave him in a trance. the view you give him is all too much and he decides to do something about it.

“here. it’s almost dry anyways.” he takes his shirt off and offers it to you.

your eyes linger on his toned body for too long you practically have to force yourself to look away. the dirty blonde finds himself smirking at your reaction. he walks closer to you hoping you’ll accept his peace offering. it begins to drive him mad how beautiful you look you in your current state. if he hadn’t been such a prick to you for the last couple of years maybe it’d be him taking you home and not fran. besides fran wouldn’t know what to do with all that.

you look at him again and throw your inhibitions out the window. your brother is the one who hates him on and off the pitch but not you. maybe just on the pitch but right now you were in a club bathroom without tops on. if your brother could have fun why couldn’t you?

“fer?” you turn around to look at him directly.

“hmm?” he puts his arm down realizing you won’t take his shirt.

“do you think i’m pretty?” you bat your eyelashes innocently.

he pauses not knowing how to respond. of course you looked pretty but he couldn’t exactly say that out loud. not if he wanted to keep up with the banter the two of you had. it would ruin the dynamic.

“it’s fine you don’t have to answer i’ll just go and ask fran.” you fake being upset and head for the door before fermín steps in front of you again.

“you can’t go out like that.” he panics.

“why? don’t you like my bra?” you tease him.

“joder tía pero tú estás loca.” he sighs frustrated. (fuck, you’re crazy.)

“i mean you’re the one who’s been liking all my stories. especially the ones where i leave little to the imagination.” you reach behind your back and unclasp your bra letting it hit the floor. you’re too far gone now. “you seem to really likes the ones where my breasts are showing though.”

he bites his lips trying to avoid his eyes from wondering. he can practically feel his pants getting tighter the closer you got to him. it was as if the room got smaller and ten times hotter. he’d always been so cocky with his hookups but you somehow made him lose his confidence. but then you said someone else’s name and he suddenly gained his ego back.

“do you think if i asked fran to fuck me he’d say yes?” was the question that threw him off.

his demeanor changed in an instant and suddenly he needed you right there in that bathroom. he knew you were probably just teasing him but he wasn’t going to lose you, not to fran at least.

“he’d probably finish in his pant just by seeing your tits and you’d go home upset.” you didn’t realize how much little space was left between the two of you until you saw both his arms on the sink. you were stuck between the sink and his shirtless body. “he’ll never satisfy you.”

“and you would?” you test his patience.

his hand finds its way onto your thigh and you realize you’ve finally gotten what you wanted. as your breath hitches his hand trails up and the look on his face proved he wanted this as much as you did. he pauses once he gets to your clothed core and looks up at you. you realize he’s asking for permission. you trail your hand down your body to where his hand is and carefully move your panties to the side.

“joder.” he groans at the sight. this is definitely not how he expected his night to go.

“fer.” you whine wanting him to touch you already.

his hands creeps up your throat you can feel his fingers getting closer to your lips. you know what he wants you to do so you open your mouth taking in two of his fingers. he watches intently as you suck on them making them wet enough to enter you. he takes a mental screenshot of you not wanting to forget about this moment. when you finally stop he places his fingers on your thigh again, teasing you. he’s gotten his ego back.

“fuck, you’re so wet.” he can feel the blood rushing to his dick as you you spread your legs for him.

you want to tell him to shut up and hurry up due to how needy you are but he finally drags his fingers over your core. a wave of pleasure rings through your body as he finally touches you. he circles your clit before dragging his fingers down to where you needed him the most. he enters you with one finger first thrusting it slowly letting you adjust. the room is filled with your incoherent moans and your acrylics dig into his free hand.

“oh, fuck.” is all you can say as he enters his second finger.

his thrusts begin to gain momentum as he sees how much you’re enjoying it. the feeling of having your walls squeeze his fingers is so surreal and he can’t resist the urge of reaching up to kiss you. the first kiss is long and sweet but as soon as you start kissing him back it gets heated. soon the kisses become short and needy and you can barely breathe between them. he grabs you by the hair pulling it to get better access to your neck and the pain turns into pleasure as he curls his fingers inside of you.

fermín expects you to tell him to not leave marks but you can’t help but want him to bite down on your neck. he leaves short peppered kisses on your neck before sucking and biting making sure that tomorrow you’ll have to hide your neck from your brother. he hears you panting and knows you’re getting close to coming undone. your hands run through his hair tugging on the strands as you get closer to your high.

and then suddenly you feel empty. his fingers are no longer thrusting inside of you and he pulls away from your lips. you’re about to yell at him when he kneels down in front of you and your eyes go wide. he spreads your legs further apart placing one on each shoulder. you can feel his breathe on your core and you’re not exactly sure you’re ready for what’s to happen. one lick is enough to make your head go back and your legs tremble.

his hold on your thighs get stronger and he dived in deeper. you pull on his hair harder each time he gets closer to your hole, clearly teasing you. he sucks on your clit and that’s enough to have you screaming out of pleasure. your moans are enough to raise his confidence and he brings his fingers back and enters you once again. his tongue and fingers are too much, he’s overstimulating you. you can feel your high approaching once again. this time he doesn’t stop he keeps going. he wants to see you reach your high.

“gonna cum all over my fingers?” he teases.

“fuck, yes.” you gasp barely having the strength to speak properly.

he somehow manages to go faster and you know you’re only a couple of thrusts away from cumming. then he adds in another finger and you’re a moaning mess. your juices squirt all over his fingers and pulls them out of you. he drags your fingers back towards your lips and you grant him access again. you lick them tasting yourself before he kisses you again. it’s a slow sensual kiss and then it happens you spot something moving in the background from the corner of your eye.

“fran.” you gasp at the sight of your brother teammates standing in the back shocked at the scene he walked into.

“what?” fermín pulls away confused at the sudden burst of fran’s name. that’s when he spots fran in the mirror and instead of being ashamed he can’t help but smirk.

that is until you push him off of you and fix yourself. you grab fermín’s shirt without a second thought and fix your skirt embarrassed about being caught and by fran of all people. fran’s disappointment is visible but you really don’t care about his feelings at the moment but rather about whether or not he’ll tell your brother.

“my shirt!” fermín yells.

“you’re a man you can walk around without a shirt.” you say as you get your purse from the sink.

fran walks out not wanting to witness more of what he’s already seen. you have no choice but to follow him since he was your designated driver for the night. but once again fermín steps in front of you and stops you from leaving. he leans down and kisses you and you can’t help but kiss him back.

“next time leave the bodyguard at home.” is all he tells you before stepping aside letting you leave.

that night you fell asleep in his shirt. you’re definitely looking forward to the next game your brother has in barcelona.

[hacash]

I’ve said before that I think it could make sense that Nate might want to return as assistant kitman for a little bit - to concentrate on being happy, to be one with the guys, to join in with all the team rituals he was barred from in S1. I also think that, going by clips from 3x12 and dialogue from 3x11, it’s not ridiculous to assume that he ended up back as coach, and that the kitman stint was intended as temporary (and likely done at Nate’s instigation).

However, do to that well it really needed a couple of additional scenes, which I can only assume had to be cut to save time...

-

“Good to have you back, mate,” Colin says, coming up to Nate while the team come together, chatting and laughing over Isaac’s costume. “But what are you doing as assistant kitman? We thought you were gonna be our coach again.”

“Oh! Oh, I know that. But, you know, it was all very sudden, and there wouldn’t have been time to draw up a new coaching contract before the season ended, and I still wanted to return in whatever capacity I could, and I - ” Nate’s cheerful ramble ends, his gaze slides over to where Will is shaking Isaac’s hand, “I had some unfinished business here, you know? Besides, I always enjoyed spending time in the locker room with you lot.”

“Glad to hear it, boyo. But you’re going to be coaching us next season, right? We didn’t trek it all the way over to Tooting just to set you up doing laundry, you know.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know that my fabric softener blend has been much sought after by members of the team,” Nate snarks. “And their mums.”

Colin just looks flatly at Nate.

Finally Nate grimaces, eyes briefly tensing shut. “I…I don’t know; alright, Colin? I just – I didn’t behave well as a coach at all when I was here, and I don’t know if I trust myself to do the same thing again, you know? I don’t think I deserve to be your coach again.”

“Oh, come on, you weren’t all that – ”

“No, no, no, let me say it – that was something I was wanting all my life, you know, and I,” hands flail, “I fucked it up, alright? I made mistakes, and I hurt people, and I just – I’m not sure if I want to put myself back there yet.” Nate sighs, visibly pulling himself together. “Look, for now I just want to enjoy my time here and focus on the last game, alright?”

Colin sighs and huffs, but he nods. “Whatever you say, Nate.” He glances around and lowers his voice conspiratorially. “Look, rules are rules and all, but me and the Honourable McAdoo are gonna split your fine between the two of us, yeah? No need to worry about it.”

Nate laughs. “Well, that’s very generous of you; but if I’m part of the team I want to be part of the team, and I can afford it now – ”

“Nah. Don’t worry about it, boyo. Just some unfinished business, yeah?”

Colin tips Nate a wink and heads back into the group of laughing footballers, leaving Nate watching them all. His eyes travel over the Greyhounds – the team he once said could do anything, his smile broad – and then, as his smile softens, he glances back to the coach’s office. Ted can be seen in the window, talking to someone.

Jolted out of his reverie by someone’s laughter, Nate looks back to the footballers. He laughs genuinely, loudly. When Bumbercatch gestures him into the crowd he joins them, willingly. He’s part of the team.

-

“No! No, no, no, that’s…that’s lovely.”

“Knew you’d understand.” Ted pauses, smiles. “Mind if I ask you a personal question, Nate?”

Nate’s still blinking back tears, but he manages to muster a deep breath. “Of course, sure.”

“What the heck are you doing back here as a kitman anyhow?”

Nate nearly flinches again, as if Ted has snuck up on him a second time. He looks around sharply, but Ted is just staring up at the wall, smiling.

“Sure wasn’t expecting it, when I came in to see you folding towels again.”

“I just…didn’t feel it was right to return as a coach yet,” Nate says. “It just didn’t seem right.”

Ted looks at him, until Nate blushes and glances down. Finally Ted nods.

“Right, right. Well, I get that. After I came home and found out that my dad died I dropped out of my high school drama club entirely. Kept thinking that if I’d just got home in time that day I coulda gotten him the help he needed, I felt it was only right.” Ted’s words are soft. Nate blinks in surprise, looking at him carefully. “Just landed the role of Kenickie as well. Heckuva thing, could have landed myself a career on Broadway rather than Richmond.” He smiles. “I just wonder…what would have happened if someone had pointed out that I was just wasting time punishing myself, you know? That it wasn’t helping anyone to deprive myself of something I loved, least of all me.”

Nate bites into his lip. He’s trying not to cry.

“Right. I…I think I understand that.”

“I knew you would, Nate. You’re a smart fella.”

Another pause.

“I just need to think about it, Ted.”

“Well, you’d better think long and hard about that sucker,” Ted says. His eyes crease gently. “After all, after this week there’ll be a space going free on the coach’s team for someone with plenty of smarts and a big old heart as well. I can’t think of anyone better for the job.”

Nate visibly softens as he looks at Ted. “You’re really going back, aren’t you?”

Ted pauses. His eyes flicker back up to the space where the poster used to hang, and then a tender smile deepens. “Time to go back, Nate. I didn’t know how much longer I could take, not being with my little boy.”

Briefly Nate hovers, and then touches Ted’s elbow. “Yeah. Yeah, I get that.”

-

“Aren’t you going to stand up with the other coaches, Nate?” Will asks as they sit together, awkwardly watching eleven grown men openly weeping on the pitch.

“I’m the assistant kitman,” Nate murmurs absent-mindedly, already chewing on a thumbnail. God, he’s nervous. “To. Assistant to the kitman.”

There’s a pause. He glances across to see Will glaring pointedly at him.

“You get a better view from back here anyway,” he adds weakly.

“Uh-huh,” Will says, not sounding particularly convinced.

-

Throughout the match Nate is on the edge of his seat, almost straining at the bit. Unable to join Roy, Beard and Ted standing on the sidelines. Not quite part of their group, but not in amongst Will and the physios and the reserves either. Eyes fixed on the Richmond team.

Whenever the Greyhounds miss a pass or take a tackle Nate winces. Halfway through the second half Ted turns and sees a notebook has appeared in Nate’s hand: he’s jotting down notes without even taking his eyes off the play. Ted smiles to himself, and then turns back to the game.

When the additional seconds of time are added Nate’s on his feet: still not joining the coaches, notebook still in his hands. Staring onto the pitch as if his life depends on it. Nate’s eyes are flickering as Roy and Beard debate the merits of trick plays - murmuring beneath his breath, brain going into overdrive, and then – oh. Ohh.

Realisation dawns on Nate’s face. On Ted’s face. Their gazes meet.

“Oh my God,” Nate says softly. Half a whisper, half elation.

“Yep,” Ted is going – grinning, already beckoning Nate to come forward. “Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep – ”

“You sure that – ”

“Yes.”

“You really think it’ll – ”

“Yes! Hey, hey Jamie!” Ted hollers for Jamie’s attention and then mimes handing something over to Nate. “It’s an Oscar!”

“Or a Tony Award!” Nate hollers. He’s grinning.

He knows where he belongs.

[fan-a-tink]

Young Royals Finale reaction

EP6

Can’t believe the episode is 57 minutes long!!! That is such a blessing!!!! 57 MINUTES!!!

Chucking us right back in there… Simon just left that night? Like…? 

„And Simon is right. I have to take responsibility for my own problems. I can’t drag him down with me.“ Pfffuuuuuuhhhhhh that hurts… Like I know he is right.. They are both right… 

Love that jumper that Simon is wearing

Seeing Sara and Simon be friends again is so so soooooo healing for my soul. 

I love that pep talk that Sara gives Simon about their dad. And maybe the second chance will also apply to Simon’s relationship with Wille?

That poem is by Karin Boye - that’s the one Lisa posted with the trailer....!

Is this the first time Wille and Sara actually spoke to one another? Season 3, episode 6? 😅

So Hillerska is closing down. Even though it shouldn’t be, that is still a shock! But a good one! I love that as a resolution for everything

August having a breakdown in front of everyone after calling them to reason. He is like the only one who can’t stand the discord. And I love him for it

„But everything around here still reminds me of him.“ AAASDIH OIFHAIEFH ASDFV SDF

I’m sorry, but everyone calls their parents or talks to their best friends. Only Wille’s fucking parents don’t bother calling their son. He speaks to fucking Farima again! (Sorry, I love farima, I’m just sooooo over Wille’s parents being shit parents)

Wille looking at Simon through the bookshelves before going up to him… 💜💜💜💜

It breaks my heart that they can’t even say how they feel, they are so broken by this breakup.. But also weirdly, this also feels like one of the first really honest conversations they have

Henry interrupting them is soo funny…. He just has noooo radar :)))

„We could stay here and feel like crap together“ 😂 

HE CALLED SIMON THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE!!!!!!!!! I mean, we all knew that, but still - THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE!!!!!!!

Love that Felice called him ‚Party Prince‘ :))) also, it feels like Felice has her personality back :)) Nice to see the real Felice again :)))

Simon lying on the football field and playing with the fake sand…. My heeeaaaaarrrtttt!!!!!

Lol Simon did you really think you got closure? From what?

REVOLUTION IS PLAYING!!!!! 

„Erik would’ve loved you no matter what“ - this is the moment where I start crying. 

This is such a good apology, August.. And Malte is giving it everything… I love this scene. This is so so so important… Also, I’m crying now, and I probably won’t stop now that I’ve started.. 

„Yes, I have feelings for August. But I have stronger and more important feelings for you. And for Simon, and for myself.“ As an aroace person, this made my heart sing. FRIENDSHIP!!!!! PREACH!!!

„That was the best day of my life.“ Oh Saraaa….. I love you… I know you and Felice will be fine.. You will be fine, I can feel it!!

Nils officially coming out to Vincent and August 🏳️‍🌈 love it :) even Vincent has a good side, hidden somewhere very deep deep down, but it is there :)

„I see you, but I don’t think you see me. You’re in love with the person you become with me.“ She is soooo right. So right. And it breaks my heart that they won’t be together, but…. She is so right about this

Malte, you are such an incredible actor - how have we all not seen this before?!?!?!?!?!

„It’ll pass“ - that is such an iconic line that I will forgive you for stealing it from fleabag :))

It’s so brave of Simon to go up to Wille. 

I cannot even begin to write down my feelings about the next few scenes. I was crying the whole time, shaking, sobbing, all over the place. They are sooo beautiful. The way they look at each other. Cherishing the moment. AND WHEN WILLE STARTED SINGING ‚IT TAKES A FOOL TO REMAIN SANE‘ ökdfn oäwiAFGBNÖOUERBGTÖAOIRBSYDÖFGOXVABN I can’t watch this be the end of them. I can’t. 

Also, the song Alice is beautiful for all of this. Poetic cinema.

Frederika & stella :) 

WHEN IS THAT SONG GOING TO BE ON SPOTIFY? I WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER. 

I love the slight change of the lyrics too.. „Cause we were a revolution“  from „I can be your revolution.“

Wille is looking at August like he has a plan. I SMELL AN ABDICATION :)))

And they sing Simon’s Song? This is toooo much!!!!! I love it!!!! But also why did no one tell Simon about that? 

The way they fade that song over the next few scenes… Have I already mentioned that I am crying my eyes out? 

So, the queen had a serious health concern. And now she is just fine? She has sought out therapy for like one day and apologizes to her son? Like, how does that work so quickly? 

But also, I love it. Wille deserves parents who are there for him. 

Wille, what are you thinking? What are you going to doooooo???? Abdication is coming, I can feel it…!!!

Why are they having a conversation about how it was in vain, or not? This is not going in the right direction. 

„I never gave up on you. I gave up on the royal family.“ - Wille, your path is clear!!!!! You HAVE to take it!!!

Goodbye? Nooo? Why???? „I hope you have a nice summer.“ What the fuck? That is not the throwback I needed? Hello? Why are you walking away? Noooo, come back!!!! Simooooooon!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHH!!

„They were friends who threw money at the problem instead of listening.“ THANK YOU!! 

Just ride off into the sunset together, you two 💜

The Queen saying she’s proud of Wille is such an empty thing. 

He is fumbling his collar. He is getting out of that car. 

„One day you will be a fantastic king.“ - Say it! Say it, Wille!! SAY IT!!!!!!!!!!!! 

„What happens if I don’t want to?“ YEEEEEEESSSSS, REVOLUTION BABY!!!!!!

This is the growth that Edvin talked about. Talking about his issues calmly, productively. Putting it simply. Being heard. Understood. He is fucking abdicating here and it is working. I LOVE IT!

„The thing with Simon“ - the disrespect!!!! I am done with this woman. He is the love of his life, ok?

„I don’t want this.“ - The smile when he says this.. 🥰 The first signs of the actual Wille coming out from all that pressure

The harmony theme starting to play as he leaves the car and the monarchy behind This is so freaking good!!!!! I freaking love this show

Haha, Simon waiting a minute before having Sara stop the car… Let him run :))

The music. The sunshine. The full trees. The fucking smiles on both of their faces. Fucking finally. 

„For my own sake. … I want to be with you, Simon.“

The cheeky smile on Simon’s face just before he says, „what the hell do you think?“ nsyöljdnföojansAKENF KASJDNF LKJANSD

THEY ARE SMILING!!!! THEY ARE HUGGING!!! THEY ARE BOYFRIENDS!!!! THEY ARE ENDGAME!!!!!

I WILL NEVER EVER RECOVER FROM THIS HAPPINESS - THESE TWOOOOOOOOOO 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

THE MONTAGE…. 💜💜💜💜💜

THE WAY THE CUDDLE IN THE CAR - I AM FALLING IN LOVE WITH THEM ALL OVER AGAIN 💜💜💜💜💜

Also, I am in tears. Sobbing, shaking, laughing, crying. Truly, I have felt all the emotions this episode. I freaking love this show. 

[autistic-skeletons]

Good Omens season 2 is about what religious trauma does to indoctrinated people, and here’s why.

so i finally watched Good Omens after my friends BEGGED me to ever since the first season first dropped and even though the ending stabbed me in the balls repeatedly for several hours i can’t help but marvel about how genius the ending really is and how crucial it is to both Aziraphale and Crowley as characters

i was hesitant to watch this show bc i was indoctrinated and conditioned by evangelicalism from birth (i’m literally the kid of two ex-missionaries and my dad was a chaplain for 36 years) and i knew that i could easily get triggered if i wasn’t careful.

i’m so glad i watched this show. there’s many reasons but i really just wanna talk about the ending of s2 aka The Divorce. it went entirely over my friends heads bc none of them grew up in the church but when i watched the ending it felt like i was watching pieces of myself at war with each other even though they didn’t want to be. to me, i was watching two people so broken by heaven and hell that they don’t understand that what they’re doing is hurting themselves more than it’s hurting each other. this is a pretty long ramble so i’ll continue under the cut

Aziraphale and Crowley are two halves of the same coin (literally soulmates) and are narrative foils to each other. obviously right, i mean, everyone noticed that. but what they truly represent in the grand scheme of things is the fallout of religious trauma. Crowley has seen the absolute Worst of heaven and the angels. he’s been outcast, scorned, and tortured for (assuming based on the opening scene of season 2) simply asking questions and questioning his faith. Aziraphale is the poster child of what a good angel is in the eyes of heaven and has reaped the benefits for millennia.

what is happening here is a war between two halves of a whole, Denial vs Bitterness.

as a young child it was drilled into my head over and over that my faith had to be as strong as a rock all the time or i would crumble like sand. i idolized all the bible characters and memorized all the verses and did all the good and right things i was supposed to. i was a standard in all the churches i went to, i was the example of what a good christian was, and i knew it.

then, over time, i began to see behind the curtain on what was really going on in the church and i was devastated. how could something based on love do all of that? why am i so scared to think freely? why do i feel like i can never be good enough? the more i questioned the more shame i felt and the more bitter i became, but i longed to go back to that innocence of being the best little christian kid in the church.

Aziraphale cannot truly comprehend the uncomfortable reality that what he’s been subscribing to all this time isn’t good for him. heaven has been hurting him for a long time and he doesn’t understand that. how can something he thinks is so right, so true, so good hurt him and his friends so much? no, it must be something he’s done right? it must be some bad apples right? the whole orchard can’t be bad right? he just has to fix this. he just has to make it better for him and for Crowley and then everything will be ok again.

Crowley can’t wrap his mind around why Aziraphale cares so fucking much. hasn’t he seen what heaven and hell have done? they barely stopped the end of the fucking world!!! they tried to destroy both of them with holy water and hellfire!!!!! they’re still trying to meddle in their personal lives after everything!!! why is Aziraphale so stubborn???? why does he choose something so asinine over him? Crowley has been there for Aziraphale a hell of a lot more than heaven has, can’t he see that?

both of them are hurting deep down into their very souls and they just can’t see it. that’s what religious trauma does to you. it strips you so bare of your personhood that without your religion, who are you? without your god, you’re just an empty shell. you’re nothing without “us”, without the church.

without Aziraphale trying and failing to fix heaven, he’s never gonna understand how corrupt of a system it all is.

without Crowley learning that Aziraphale is hurting just as much as he is, he’s never gonna learn that Aziraphale really had his best intentions at heart and just wanted to do what he thought was the good thing

without both of them realizing that they’re both wrong, they’re never gonna come together and really stand up for themselves and for their friends and for earth as a whole. without this grief, without this pain, without this separation, they’re never going to be truly free

and i, for one, cannot wait to see them kick some ass when they decide that enough is enough

[thesoftboiledegg]

Man, I did NOT realize how much I missed Morty until I watched "A Rick in King Mortur's Mort." If you've spent thirty seconds on my blog, you know that Rick is my favorite character. I like Morty, but I don't specifically watch the show for him. But his dynamic with Rick is brilliant, and separating them by putting Morty in the background could've been a fatal flaw if season six didn't start turning it around near the end.

When other characters appeared on the screen (especially in group family scenes) I thought "OK, let's not take too much attention away from Morty." I never thought I'd hear myself thinking that. I think that season six is great overall, but that actually made me look at it a little more critically. This show just does NOT work without Morty. Developing the family dynamic was great, but I'm hoping that the show will start focusing on the core characters again.

Anyway, this was a good episode. Like Morty, I kept waiting for the reveal that Rick was just being an asshole and letting Morty talk himself into a disaster so that Rick could save him and then hold it over his head for ages. I wasn't too worried since Rick's been changing so much and going to therapy, but it still crossed my mind.

Maybe Rick's still following Dr. Wong's instructions: being patient and watching events unfold instead of immediately reacting with anger.

The callback to the infamous "The Vat of Acid Episode" blew me away. I didn't think the show would ever even mention it again. That episode was Rick at his worst: an abusive, sociopathic monster who emotionally destroyed Morty under the guise of being nice. So much of Rick's affection in seasons 1-4 was fake or manipulative. He did care for Morty, but boy, he didn't hesitate to smack him down and remind him who was the Rick.

I loved how the end of the episode paralleled the start of "The Vat of Acid Episode" perfectly. It's like this scene with Rick and Morty saying "I love you," grasping each other's hands and jumping willingly into the lava together undid all of Rick's cruelty.

Well...not quite. Which brings me to the one issue that I have with their relationship development: the show keeps acting like they needed to come to a mutual understanding, like their issues were partially Morty's fault. 99% of their problems came from Rick's bullshit.

Rick IS taking accountability, admitting that he fucked up and trying to do right by Morty. However, I think Morty needs to tear into him. In fact, it's a little unsatisfying that he doesn't. Rick needs to know how much he hurt Morty because that's the only way that Morty could ever find peace and Rick could even begin to atone for it.

I don't think Rick's trying to dodge responsibility. If Morty finally unleashed his rage, I think Rick would stand there and accept it. Maybe Evil Morty was supposed to be C-137 Morty's stand-in when he tore into Rick at the end of "Rickmurai Jack," but it's not enough because C-137's got personal issues with Rick that no one else has.

Rick's my favorite character, but--he deserves it. He took his shit out on that kid for way too long. Even once would have been too many times. I wish the show would let Morty seriously confront Rick about everything that he did.

Also, Rick's still got a lot of work to do, but this episode left me wondering where they could go from here. Either Morty's going to start seizing control, or something huge is going to happen that shakes up the status quo.

Still, I enjoyed the sweet moments in this episode. Rick calling Morty "little junebug" was so unexpected, but so loving and sincere. He's called Morty "buddy" and "kiddo," but that's the first time he's given him an affectionate nickname like that. Sounds like something that he would have called Beth when she was little.

I was wondering when Rick and Morty would share an emotional hug (as opposed to the spontaneous one that they shared in "Get Schwifty" all those years ago), and there it was. Not the scenario that I expected, but Rick and Morty hugging while Rick assures him that "we're going to make your dick so fake" is perfect for this series.

And again, Justin Roiland does a great job. I love how he captures the gentle undertones in Rick's voice.

Between Rick (basically) having two daughters in the house, trying to give Beth parental advice and showing Morty affection, it seems like he's learning how to be a father again. The way he extends his arms to Morty while shushing him looks so natural, like when he gently turns on Morty's goggles for him in "Full Meta Jackrick." He's reclaiming in his 70s what Prime Rick tore away from him in his 30s.

I also liked how this episode kept things fresh by returning to Earth's solar system. When Rick and Morty can visit infinite planets in infinite universes, what else is there to do? Return to an "ordinary" setting that they haven't spent much time in. This episode reminded me of "Something Ricked This Way Comes," which Rick mentions directly--another great callback to earlier seasons.

I noticed that Morty and Rick are continuing to gradually switch places. Morty's the one who suggests that they move to another dimension, and he says in the beginning that he wouldn't be too upset if he never saw his family again. Glad to see that he hasn't regressed back into being a passive little boy, which I was worried about.

Overall, this was a solid episode. I would've done a few things differently, but the writers have done a great job of pushing the show's boundaries and transforming the characters. Still, this upward growth can't go on forever, which makes me a little worried about what's coming next.

[artemis-b-writes]

A/N: Hey yall! First and foremost: If you’ve read this before this no you haven’t. This is my first time posting this Anyways! This is my first long-form story so of course I chose the longest show known to man!

Thank you to my lovely beta reader: @ebodebo (go follow her) for putting up w my constant talk of rewriting (turns out you do need 5 chapters of filler lol) and being my all around soundboard. I’m so excited for the things we have planned! Enough yapping let’s get on with it!

TW: gore, violence, strong language, mature content

… - - - … … - - - … … - - - … … - - -… … - - - …

Chapter one- The World Is Ending

August 26th, 2010-

The beeping of hospital monitors haunted my sleep. I’d been spending every night in uncomfortable, plastic, hospital chairs for as many nights as my mom allowed. My father Rick Grimes had been shot in the line of duty 2 weeks ago and had fallen into a coma from the blood loss.

I stayed with him when my mom worked so he wasn’t alone. I’d tell him about school, keep him updated on Carl and read to him, praying he could hear me. A fresh vase of flowers at least made the room bright for when he’d wake up.

But right now I was sleeping, or trying anyway. I could feel a thin hospital blanket on me. Theo, one of the hospital's CNAs, harassed me about taking care of myself and usually I fell asleep fully clothed in their shitty chairs without a blanket.

“Peaches?” The voice behind her made Victoria practically jump out of her seat.

“Jesus Shane….you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?” Victoria asked harshly. She never liked Shane, even as a little girl they butted heads. She couldn’t for the life of her imagine why Rick would hang out with him after work.

“Victoria we need to go. Now.” He spoke quickly, making his way to her dads bed and kneeling down beside him. “Rick, if you’re gonna wake up now’s the time man, shits going down and we need to leave.”

“Shane,” Victoria laughed half heartedly “what are you talking about?” Just when she thought he was finally losing it, gunfire started to ring out from outside the door. Shane pulled Nadia down under him as she screamed. Shane covered her mouth and she would’ve bit him in different circumstances.

I mean who the hell would open fire in a hospital?!

Victoria could feel the tears start to well as Shane begged her father to wake up so they could leave, telling him that if we stayed they’d all die. After a few minutes of bargaining Shane picked her up and dragged her out of the room.

“No!” She tried to push against his grip but he was incredibly strong. Victoria kicked and pulled until Shane pushed her into a hallway, begging her to be quiet or else they’d be found. She peaked around the corner, Shane pulled a gurney in front of Rick’s room. There was blood everywhere, screams and gunfire echoed down the hall. Shane grabbed her arm and they ran from the hospital, Victoria broke down when they got to his pickup.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Victoria hit Shane’s arm as hard as she could over and over and over until she didn’t have it in her anymore. She knew he was hurting too but didn’t care. He left her dad there to die.

“Peaches I had to.”

“Don’t call me peaches Shane. My dad is fucking dead.”

Shane sighed again, the truck roared to life as we peeled out of the parking lot. She stared out the window, thinking of her dad. Would he die? Would they leave a comatose man’s body to sort himself out? What if he woke up and everyone was gone?

Victoria and her father had always been close. She was the stereotypical ‘daddy’s girl’, hell as soon as she was old enough to hold a rifle without falling over she and her dad had gone hunting every season.

He taught her how to cook, she knew all his favorite bands and all the words to every corny song that he absolutely loved. Sometimes when Carl was a baby she and Rick would sneak out and go to the 7/11 down the block just to get candy and rent cheesy movies to watch together….and now they’d never share those moments again.

“We’re here.”

Shane’s voice broke Victoria from her daze, she looked out the window to see her mom and brother already packed up ready to hit the road. “Go’n and pack a bag, I’ll talk to your mama and Carl.”

Carl.

He was only 10…and now he’s going to find out he’ll never see his dad again and the world might be ending?? He’ll never get those moments hunting alone with his dad as the sun breaks the day. Or watch cheesy movies with her and their dad when Victoria would be home from college. She could feel the bile rising once again as she made her way past her family and into her room.

Victoria had a typical 17 year olds room. Honestly, the floor was littered with laundry she needed to do as well as some CDs she’d rummaged through that morning. Her walls were a neon teal, they’d mostly been covered with posters of movies and bands, and paintings she’d created out of boredom. She tried to soak in every inch of her room in case she’d never see it again. As she started to pack she took a Polaroid off her wall.

“Jeez Anthony….you should be at practice right around now. Please be safe.”

She tucked the Polaroid of her and her best friend into the pocket of her backpack and kept packing. Just the essentials: a couple pairs of jeans, some tee shirts, boots, hat, dads hunting jacket, socks…toothbrush? Definitely a toothbrush. A hairbrush and a few notebooks and pens (and some comic books for Carl). She also made the decision to pack her hunting rifle in case they got stuck foraging for food, as well as a heavy knife.

She threw her bag into the back of the truck so that no one would suspect how heavy it was. Her mom and brother were crying into Shane as he had just broken the news. Or however he’d spun the story…but Victoria knew the truth that Shane had abandoned his “best friend”. Shane loaded everyone up into the truck and said they’d be headed to Atlanta and that the military would help them.

“Are we going to die?”

While it was spoken barely above a whisper, the question jolted Victoria out of her daydreamed haze. She looked down at her brother Carl who was laying in her lap.

“No baby. Because I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe, and so will mom and Shane.” Victoria tried her best to reassure him, rubbing his back softly. She’d instructed him to lay in her lap so he couldn’t see the panic that the rest of the world was in.

Before they knew it, they’d left King County and were headed to Atlanta. Victoria fiddled with her cross necklace, Carl had fallen asleep leaving the truck uncomfortably quiet.

The Grimes weren’t really a religious family but Victoria did usually attend Wednesday night Youth Group with her best friend Anthony. The necklace was a gift from him.

Anthony. There he was on her mind again, she’d thought about calling him but Lori demanded she save her battery incase of emergency. Anthony Smith had been her best friend since middle school. They did everything together and were practically attached at the hip when they saw each other. He was a year older than her but that never mattered in how close they were.

Anthony was actually quite soft spoken, and smart as a whip. He was a tall kid, probably standing at about 6’3. He was built like an athlete, but he had to be with Track and field. They actually became friends at a track meet in sixth grade and kept up with eachother daily through AOL and Skype. And obviously only hung around each other at said meets. Anthony’s dad was a PE teacher and Coach so he definitely fueled the athletic fire in both kids. Anthony has always been a sweet kid and even when he was an asshole Victoria could never be mad at-

“Victoria! Get your head out of the clouds I’m talking!”

Victoria jolted in her seat, there she was daydreaming again. Lori was giving her daughter quite the concerned look.

“Where are we mom?” Victoria looked out the window to see full bumper to bumper traffic.

“Outside of Atlanta but as you can see we’re stuck in traffic” Shane answered from outside, with quite an annoyed tone Victoria noticed. She ignored Shane and hopped out of the truck so she could stretch her legs.

“Where’s Carl? I think I threw some comic books in my bag, I’m sure he’s bored out of his mind sitting here.” Victoria looked around and spotted Carl a few cars down playing checkers with a girl who looked to be about his age. She had a short blonde bob and a smile as bright as the sun.

Victoria smiled in amusement and made her way to the car with her mom. “Someone has a cru-ush!” She teased in a sing-song voice. She yelped when Carl turned around and smacked her arm as hard as he could.

“Mo-om!!! Carl hit me!”

“Don’t tease your brother then!” She laughed. Victoria rolled her eyes and fluffed her brother's hair before sitting behind him to watch the kids play. Right as she sat down a woman came from the front of the car with waters. She was a smaller woman with buzzed gray hair.

“Oh! You must be Victoria, I’m Carol!” She had a smile just as bright as Sofias, Victoria made a mental note that they must be related. She smiled and thanked her for the water, and as she took a sip Carl enacted his revenge.

“You say I have a crush on a girl I just met when you’ve been after Anthony since forever.” Victoria showered the back of Carls with the water she had just taken a sip of and was prepared to cuss him out when the commotion started. Bombs were dropping into Atlanta.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Victoria screamed as she pulled the kids down to the ground underneath Carol’s car. She moved her body over the both of them so they would be shielded if anything came down.

The rest of the night was a blur. Shane grabbed everyone’s bags from the truck, grunting as he lifted Victoria's particularly heavy bag. They ran into the woods with Carol, her husband Ed, and Sophia. There were screams in the distance and somehow Victoria and the kids got separated. She held onto both of them tightly. They ran until they came up on a high spot with a small clearing.

“Stop right there.” The shotgun barrel was aimed right between Victoria's eyes. They widened with fear as she put both her hands in front of her slowly.

“Sir, we’re just trying to get off the road…I have two small kids with me, please.”

The man’s aim faltered at the sight of the kids. Victoria rushed him, taking the gun and pointing it back at him. It probably wasn’t her smartest move but she had Sophia and Carl to look out for. There was a shriek behind her and Victoria whipped around just in time to shoot a man who was trying to get Sophia. Wait…what the hell?

Victoria slowly crept up to the man. He looked pale, his eyes were white and glossy and there was fresh blood around his mouth.

“Good aim kid. I’m sorry I pointed that thing at you. I just had to make sure you weren’t like him. The names Dale, you kids can stay with me and the girls tonight and we’ll look for your crew in the morning.” Dale smiled at her warmly, he was an older man judging by his white hair. But he had kind eyes and it was late so Victoria decided he could he trusted for the night.

She nodded, grabbing the kids as they headed into Dale's RV. There were two blonde girls sitting on the couch. One older one younger, Victoria figured they were probably sisters.

“Dale, who are they?” The older blonde asked, glaring at the three kids.

“Easy Andrea, the older one can take out those things like you wouldn’t believe!” Dale smiled back at Victoria. “They’re just staying for the night and…I didn’t get your name sweetheart?”

“Victoria. Victoria Grimes.”

… - - - … … - - - … … - - - … … - - -… … - - - …

[prairiedust]

one thousand days of destiel, or cas: fuckerupper of endings

Idk why I’m crawling out from under my woodpile to write this, except that it occurred to me that in three years I’ve not rewatched a single episode of Supernatural and have at least two dozen tags yet blacklisted on tumblr, and that I am still not okay about this stupid show.

I never tried to tie up the folklore/author themes I’d been geeking out about through the last seasons, neither as the show was ending nor afterwards. I’ve been simmering now for over a thousand days. I could not even write a complete sentence about spn for all this time, and so I just left that pot on the back burner and did other things. Finished my Master’s degree. Started a new job. Saw my oldest child graduate from high school and move off to college, and helped my younger child move on to sixth grade. Watched some other shows, got a new blorbo, saw some movies, started painting again, picked up a couple of new hobbies as I am wont to do.  

Today is the 5th of November, 2023. (ETA i sat on this for a bit.)

November 5th, 2020, was exactly one thousand and ninety-five days ago.

I see gifs from the show from time to time and I think to myself, wow, that scene/episode/series is completely irrelevant to my life now. I am fine and normal about everything. But if it really was, if I really was, it would not hurt so much to see the gifs and the lyric posts and the amvs when they aren’t caught in my tag filters. So maybe it’s time to get some things out of my head and onto paper.

I genuinely, nearsightedly, naively thought that since Dabb et al had been the ones writing the whole folk v author themes, and thus posing as someone we could count as being on “our side,” the folk-side of the postmodern audience, they’d honor that conceit, even to the very last shot. 

They did not.

And yet… they absolutely did.

Which hurts and is fucked up, but also it’s fine. It’s fine.

In the end, the only “folk hero” (by which I mean the only force in the spn universe capable of warping the threads of the story with any permanence) was Castiel. When Castiel left the story (of his own volition, if you can find a comfortable layer of this meta pie for that concept to rest in,) the writers reverted to God Mode. Because Castiel had been their freedom, their mouthpiece, their avenue for improvisation, and so at the end of the series…

well, we got You changed me/I love you

   •

and then we got “Cas helped.”

So much has been written about that pivot point, but genuinely I don’t give a rat’s ass about rewrites, producers, the cutting room floor, or COVID. It exhausts me, and I’m not beholden to writing about spn for grades or notes or any kind of other bullshit that would oblige me to do research.

I feel like… we got what we got.

So let’s criticize some media.

The Paradox: 

Cas imploded— went from flexing the narrative from within to being narrated by a force from without. And I couldn’t bear to wrap my head around that for a long time. It seemed that this “twist” was beyond cruel. That’s what he got. Vanished and nerfed. For saying ily. That was what happened when he was finally in focus, fully revealed. He lost. He was relegated, along with Jack, to become heaven’s Two Men and a Truck.

It was a trick, the whole “Chuck is a writer” plotline. The Author regained control of the character that had previously been acting independently. Very Pirandellesque, very frustrating, ultimately even tragic.

So, yes, thematically and critically, having Castiel give up his Agency for Characterhood– giving up his ability to create plot for a role as a character in a plot— was ‘literary’ brilliance. It cemented his status as a grand fucker-upper of the show in a way that any show writer “authoring” a requited destiel ending would not and could not have done. Even Jack, I believe, had been “manipulated” into god-hood from within the narrative. Jack was Dabb’s grand metaphor, he was a product of Author. Castiel was… well, he was a chaos engine from the moment he walked through those barn doors. 

To seal the metaphor, the writers ended up living that truth.

I really don’t know if I’m being cogent about this. I’ve been struggling to turn this idea into words for, like, ONE THOUSAND DAYS.

The folk-vs-Author themes becoming A Thing in The Supernatural Show was like a chemical reaction: once the ions had bonded, the resultant compound could not be separated back into the different materials. What on that screen was Author, what was “author,” ie show writer, and what was text-experiencer-as-author? Where did the Sam-as-magician arc go, what were we supposed to do with the semi-metatextual moments that Mary had, having been brought back into the narrative by Amara, not Chuck? Everything got so out of control. Add in a smidgen of secret-sauce-TPTB possibly superseding the author/Author, and what you get is that ridiculous mess of a final two episodes.

It’s not about the rusty trombone or the butt hole pleasures. It’s about love. And kids.

Thank you, hon. It really is. (The above line was left in this doc by my spouse. It is a quote from The 40-Year-Old Virgin. I’ll allow it.)

Anyway. It was hard to see past the sound and the fury of it all. 

*****

I was feeling nostalgic several months ago and took a swim in my old meta tags; I found a gem from season…10? Idk and idc, but it was from “The Things We Left Behind.” 

I compared Claire to Sleeping Beauty (a tale that got a lot of use in later seasons) and wrote: “I tend to think that Castiel’s entire arc is about desperate and unintentionally misguided attempts to Change The Ending of whatever story he’s shown up in” and reading that again really kind of sucker-punched me.

‘We’re making it up as we go’ was the crux of Cas’ existence. Remember that half-related story in Baby wherein Cas got himself hitched to the Djinn queen? Remember when Jack died and the Empty came to claim him in Heaven and Cas made that terrible bargain? The last-minute attempt to gank Lucifer that actually got him killed and sent to The Empty?

Time and time again, Castiel’s go-to for “changing the narrative,” for advancing his plot, is self-sacrifice. In Chuck’s house against the archangel. The Leviathan disaster. Saying ‘yes’ to Lucifer. The Bargain for Jack in Heaven. And those times it worked out. Not without great pain for both the other characters and for the viewers, but he always came back. 

And with each return, his motivation became clearer. (Picture your favorite screencap of Dean here.)

Cas’ love grew, crystalized, and then disappeared, like frost on the windowpane of a house on fire.

If they had continued the CasDean storyline, it would have ultimately been The Author IRL writing/creating/manifesting/materializing ‘destiel.’ And so by putting a torch to all of that architecture, they essentially gave everything to us. Unspoilt. Fingerprints wiped. Serial numbers scratched away. Jailbroken. Whatever floats your boat. 

The confession was both affirmation and abnegation. Symbolically, The AuthorTM had washed his hands of it, but with destiel out of the picture, The Author also got his ending.

This is why “Cas helped” felt like a ‘fuck you.’ If Cas was out of the narrative, why did he come back as one of Heaven’s real estate developers? It did not fit. 

And yet. It did. Because Chuck won. Chuck, or everything that an Author represents in television land– TPTB, showrunner legacies, multiple producers, a chaotic and treacherous and politically messy writer’s room, multiple incompatible or unresolvable MOs and visions— all that ends up being packaged and presented as a single unerring vision.

So I have to admit, although I don’t have to do it with any ion of grace, that in the end it was pretty fucking smart.

Destiel is ours. Destiel is the folk ending. The Author never got to touch it, never so much as breathed on it, was so far divorced from the concept that the absence thereof going forward hit us like a truck full of bricks.

Yes, it hurts that Dean was just left on the floor until the credits rolled, that there were no final words, no ensuing acknowledgement. 

I’ll go so far outside the Text as to address the ‘Dean can’t reciprocate’ direction from one of the scripts:

If Dean had made a single move onscreen. Uttered a word. In Despair or either of the other two episodes.

Destiel would have been claimed by The Author. 

Anyway. I’ve been collecting posts now and again under the tag ‘the endless folklore of supernatural.’ For three years, the fandom has continued to loot, to ransack, to graffiti, to create and re-create, to burn, to mix, and to distill. 

There’s all kinds of things in that tag, it’s sort of a kitchen sink of everything that I thought was even tangentially relevant to folk-Destiel and the postmodern experience of creating text as a reader/viewer etc. 

We turned a literary story based on an urban folktale back into folklore. 

And so it goes.

I doubt I will do much more analysis of this show, even if it comes back, and I unfortunately can’t touch The Winchesters. But I can’t say I never will. I just thought three years, one thousand days, was a pretty good place to leave a marker on the trail.

—

Epilogue: About The Winchesters:

I did not finish watching The Winchesters because of something wildly, randomly, but highly personally triggering that was built into one of the episodes; however I am very sorry that it was canceled or possibly ironically lost to the WGA-SAGAFTRA strike of 2023.

“What is the maddest thing a man can do? Let himself die.” That’s the clue that leads Castiel to his hidden grace in a copy of The Man of LaMancha in 10.18 ‘The Book of the Damned,’ written by one Robbie Thompson.

I noticed from the get-go that Thompson gave Carlos the last name Cervantez. He was nodding to the self-immolation of the last cadre of writers of Supernatural and stating clearly that he was holding a pen, not a match.

Want some very fun and amusing and wildly pertinent facts about the Don Quixote books?

The narrative conceit of Don Quixote IN THE FIRST PLACE LOL is that Cervantes claims to have found a manuscript by a historian named Cide Hamete Benegeli and Cervantes thought the story was pretty neat, if a little rough; Cervantes retells the story for us from what he’d read by that author, distilling the “original” into the book we experience as Don Quixote the Man of La Mancha.

The final words of Cervantes’ Part One are “perhaps another will sing with a better pick.”

Later, someone publishing under the pseudonym Alonso Fernandez de Avellaneda wrote their own part two, feeling that the original author was taking too long to get their ass in gear (or judging by their own preface they felt that Cervantes had not even done the original story justice in the first place. Which is A Mood.)

So when someone actually did have the audacity to run off with his characters and commit word crimes with them, Cervantes absolutely obliterated the dude in his own Part Two. 

Thompson left Spn after season eleven. But, lest someone think this is a commentary about fan fic, he also wrote the episode Fan Fiction. So anyway all the Cervantez-Cervantes business was certainly something.

[kueble]

Calm in the Storm

Someone spotted Sam the Baker in the background of the ferry scene and I had to write this. It's just Jaskier and Sam talking about their new relationships, so it's mostly gen with background Jaskier/Radovid.

Gen. Warnings : Canon Typical Violence and Season 3 spoilers. 1,200 words.

Jaskier & Sam the Baker, background Jaskier/Radovid

---

Geralt and Ciri should be here any moment now, but Jaskier spots another familiar face while he scans the crowd.  He waves in greeting and the man smiles wide before making his way over to him.

"Jaskier!" He cries out, dragging him into a tight embrace.  "How are you doing?  Why are you all the way out here?  Are you helping with the ball, too?"

"One question at a time, my dear Sam," Jaskier says, laughing as he pecks him quickly on the cheek.  In days past, it would have been on the mouth, but Jaskier’s heart seems to have latched onto his little prince.  Radovid and Sam lead as different lives as possible, but they're so similar; both kind and caring and so sweet to him.

"Glad you aren't pushing for more," Sam says with a shy smile.  "I've finally taken a husband."

"Congratulations, my dear friend!" Jaskier exclaims before hugging him tighter.  "Tell me all about him."

"Teddy is the miller's son, and apparently I was spending more time there than even a baker needs to.  He took the initiative and started courting me.  Sadly, it took me far too long to notice what he was doing.  But we got there eventually, and we'll be married half a year by the time I get home from this ball."

"That sounds perfectly you," Jaskier tells him with a snort.  "I find myself a bit enraptured with someone myself.  He seems to be a good man, but we have yet to figure things out.  He is…incredible.  Just truly brilliant and funny and yet there is a softness under the armor he's put up to protect himself from life at court."

"Ah, a fellow nobleman, then?  That sounds like a good match for you.  I have never seen you look so smitten, so I hope it works out for you," Sam says.  Then he looks back at his travel companions, shaking his head at the man waving at him.  "Looks like my apprentice has a problem again. You'd think baking for a large party would be an adventure and not so worrisome."

"I look forward to seeing you again," Jaskier pats him on the back and watches him wander away.  He tries to keep in touch with past lovers, and has always made a point to swing by Sam's bakery whenever he could.  Normally they fell into bed together, Jaskier playing his body like a fine instrument all night long followed by Sam spoiling him with sweets come morning.

Usually moving someone from lover to old flame tugs at his heartstrings considerably  more than it does today.  He knows a certain cheeky prince has a lot to do with that, and he vows to find an excuse to visit after the ball.  He sits back down and waits for Geralt and Ciri to arrive, feeling a tad lighter than before. 

—

Jaskier holds back his tears as he leaves Radovid, not ready to process everything that just happened.  A fucking prince would give up everything he has to follow him around the continent?  It’s a heady kind of power, and not one Jaskier is sure he deserves.  However hurt he was this morning, his heart still yearns for Radovid.  The pain on his face when Jaskier gave him an escape route and said they couldn't be together yet was enough to convince Jaskier that his actions were driven by fear and his feelings are true.

But right now the building is in ruins and there’s a fucking bloodbath surrounding him, so Jaskier has to lock down his thoughts and focus on the present.  He’s going room by room, frantically looking for Geralt or Yennefer, and doesn’t notice the familiar face at first.  He stands in the doorway and looks at Sam peering around an overturned table.

“Sam?” he asks, and the man stands up slowly.  There’s no blood on him, but his eyes are wide with fear and Jaskier’s heart goes out to him.  Jaskier is more indifferent to violence than the average person, and Sam most likely never left his home before.

“Jaskier!” he spits out, voice trembling as he crosses the room and pulls Jaskier into a tight hug.  “What the fuck happened here?  One minute I’m in the guest room they provided and the next I’m running for my life and stuck in the middle of a battle.  Is it safe now?”

“Not exactly, though it is better,” Jaskier assures him while thinking how he can help.  He trusted Radovid to handle his contacts and travel alone, but Sam is different.  “Wait here, and I’ll come back with help, can you do that?”

“Sure thing,” Sam says with a laugh.  “I’ll go back to cowering behind the table.”

“I may not be back, but I promise I’ll send someone to get you out of here,” he says, hugging Sam one last time before leaving the room and walking back out into the chaos.  He’ll get Sam back to his miller’s son one way or another.

He tries to avoid looking at the bodies strewn about, but it’s hard not to.  So much loss and all for no reason.  He sighs and pushes on until he distractedly runs right into someone.  “So sorry!” he mumbles before he recognizes the person in front of him.  “Keira!”

“If it isn’t Yennefer’s bard,” she says with a grin.

“More of the mages’ bard at this point,” Jaskier tells her softly.  And it’s true.  He may have started out with just Yennefer, but he makes sure to introduce himself to any mages he comes across on his travels.  Sometimes it’s a way to get news of his friends, and sometimes it’s simply a way to find a friendly face in the middle of this gods damned war.  He has always had a soft spot for Keira and her fiery personality.

“I am so glad you are here.  You look relatively unharmed?” Jaskier asks hopefully.

“Just so fucking tired my bones ache, and I’m ignoring everything else until we get to safety.  There may not be many survivors, but it’s our job to protect them and lead them out of our home,” Keira tells him quickly.

“I hope you have the strength to help one more.  I left a friend at the first doorway on the left, and he was here to help with the catering.  He won’t know how to get himself home without a little help,” he explains and thankfully she nods quickly.

“Go find Yennefer, and I’ll see to your friend.  I’ll even work for free this time!” she jokes, and Jaskier clings to the way they can both still find joy in a time like this.

“I’ll write a song about you,” Jaskier promises, “Something sultry and mystical.  I’ll have it ready before we meet again.”

“Take care of yourself, bard,” she tells him before heading towards Sam’s room.  Jaskier watches her for a moment before continuing his search for Geralt and Yennefer.  He’s taken care of as many people as he can, and he needs to make sure his family is safe now.

[the-derpy-duck]

My long ass post about Earthspark Starscream and Megatron.

I’ve already done a whole thing about Starscream but I have more thoughts, specifically about Megatron. Because he’s a character I have a lot of issues liking, I’ve only found myself liking a handful of Megatrons and ES is one of them.

*A very brief history of my issues with Megatron*

My main issue with Megatron comes down to me finding him less enjoyable/entertaining than the others around him. Like I like when he fights Optimus in TFP, but I liked the other decepticons a lot more. I really liked TFA Megatron’s face but uh—I’d rather watch an episode of Blitzwing and Lugnut fucking around. Armada Megatron is fine but I liked the other decepticons more. The Netflix series one was fine but I wanted more Skywarp because Skywarp is a funny little dude and I like the purple one.

I have no idea how I feel about G1 Megatron. When I think of him I think of him saying “my dear Skywarp”.

I don’t actively dislike this character but the other ones are just more interesting to me or I just like them more because of other conditions. I liked parts of IDW1 Megatron and I really like Beast Wars Megatron but idk if that counts or not.

*thoughts of ES!Megatron, Starscream, and Hashtag*

Earthspark Megatron interests me. I like him and I like his voice. I like watching him argue, disagree, and banter with Optimus. I like his relationship with Twitch and how protective he is of the terrains. I like how he saw prime being attacked and brutally attacked his former seeker to help Optimus. I like his friendship with Dot. I liked that he was willing to try and help Bumblebee and I liked that his advice was shit. He’s still growing and learning and I like him! I also like his general relationship with Starscream so far.

There are issues, yes, but the way it’s set up is (in my opinion) good so far. It’s foreshadowed that there paths will cross again, and with the way Starscream is makes me believe that they are going to be apart of each others arcs and general life.

There relationship is (in its current state) antagonist. Megatron is willing to use violence to recapture Starscream and Starscream does want to hurt Megatron and is fine with fighting him. He probably isn’t going to actively seek out Megatron but if the situation arose I don’t see him backing down (ex. Season 1 final). I also don’t see Hashtag as the type of person who would actively avoid Starscream, especially sense he’s the closest person that experienced what she went through (before the final episode) and I think the only person she talked about it too (I could be wrong here). She also doesn’t have the same idealistic view of Megatron that the others (mainly Twitch) seem to hold. Hashtag also seems to just…like Seekers? In one episode she was like ‘me and Skywarp are besties’ as a lie and the images that accompanied the scene show her and Skywarp hanging out in bad guy school and Hashtag is blushing in one of the images.

I think that Hashtag might seek out Starscream in the future, and that could cause a conflict.

*Megatron and SS’s (I hate the way that looks) relationship*

It’s very clear that there relationship was abusive. Episode 21 spells it out very clearly and Starscream appears to hallucinate (Megatron regains his Decepticon insignia). He’s been badly affected by Megatron and the show addresses this. Starscream doesn’t assume anyone of the terrains (or anyone else) would believe him about Megatron. He’s surprised when Hashtag believes him and is kind to him.

But also he’s a shitty person, the show doesn’t say that this justified Megatron’s abuse towards him. However I’m trying to not be a broken record here. Hashtag calls out Starscream for being a dick to his teammates and tells him that he can’t just leave them and her family behind. Her believing Starscream made him want to protect her and want to help her because she believes and is nice to him. Violence begets violence as altruism begets altruism. Generally, people don’t like to be mean to nice people because empathy or something.

But Starscream isn’t fully afraid of Megatron. He’s very willing to fight him and can stand up to him. The reason he doesn’t in the cave is because Megatron ambushed him and he didn’t have a lot of time to respond before Hashtag stoped Megatron. In the final episode, he is willing and takes active enjoyment in fighting with Megatron.

They don’t like each other. This is a long way of saying they really don’t like each other.

*More Megatron*

So Megatron, up to this point, has been characterized as gruff and defiant towards G.H.O.S.T but willing to listen to OP and compromise even if he disagrees. He doesn’t want for the Decepticons to be locked up but he doesn’t have that many options as outright defying G.H.O.S.T can’t help him or the Decepticons in the long run.

He is clearly frustrated with OP and his willingness to go along with G.H.O.S.T. He’s very pleased when Optimus goes against G.H.O.S.T, even if it’s not direct. He values Optimus, which is one of the reasons why he doesn’t just turn on G.H.O.S.T. He’s also just not a dumbass.

It’s established in the narrative that Megatron still is growing and learning to be better. It’s not the start of his redemption story (by that I mean he’s already made a change to himself and has gone to work with the good guys tm) so it’s a bit less obvious than IDW1/MTMTE.

The thing he seems to struggle with the most is using violence as a way to get what he wants/using it as a means to an end. He does restrain himself, but there are moments where he does use violence as a means to control others. It’s mainly when he attacked SS in the cave. Now I don’t think him attacking SS is wrong, especially when it’s in a vacuum, but with the added context of the past relation he had with SS and a few other moments in the show it suggests (to me) that this is a thing that he struggles with.

Megatron obviously disapproves of the treatment of the other Decepticons, but G.H.O.S.T is very clearly willing to just throw him in the Cybertrionian prison, and If I’m remembering correctly G.H.O.S.T and OP were actively trying to conceal this from Megatron because he would obviously disapprove of this treatment.

*MORE Starscream and Megatron relationship speculation*

I think in season 2 they are gonna cross paths again. Maybe they will often, maybe not, but I think they will have there arcs intersect a bit. I have no idea how they are gonna do either story without the other. I have my own thoughts on where I personally want there relationship to go that honestly isn’t relevant or very important to this.

The general vibe I got from the interactions between SS and Megatron was that they dislike and/or hate each other but not enough to potentially harm a select few around them. Megatron doesn’t try to attack SS after Hashtag intervenes and SS doesn’t attack him until the next episode.

Starscream is an obvious source of anxiety for Megatron, because he’s Starscream, and this is shared by SS but for different reasons. Megatron seems to want to leave SS alone but I don’t think that they will actually be apart, maybe not because Megatron is actively seeking him out but because they were forced into situations because of outstanding circumstances.

After episode 21 I think Megatron was more upset with the fact Ghost is being weird about not letting Megatron search for SS and also the way they treat Decpticons. Megatron is in a constant lose-lose situation, he can’t go against G.H.Ö.S.T because then they’ll just imprison him or hunt him down, but if he lets G.H.Ö.S.T continue what there doing than the Decpticons will actively be going after him, less because he left the Decpticons and more because (in there minds) he has been helping G.H.O.S.T imprison them, and this also goes against his morals. He’s not stupid so he isn’t just going to straight up go against G.H.O.S.T but he’s also not being particularly helpful.

The other Seekers also suffer under this general setting. Novastrom doesn’t really want to go after the autobots, mainly because it’s much more dangerous and they get nothing out of it. When she brings this up to Skywarp, the latter responds with “we either hunt autobots for mandroid or the autobots hunt us for G.H.O.S.T.” So they don’t really WANT to be doing this.

Everyone is unhappy and everyone is suffering, some are just in more active danger.

*a poor attempt to wrap things up*

Shit will go down in season 2 I think.

They aren’t about to try and kill each other, but I think they share this mutual dislike that can’t go unaddressed by the narrative, especially with the current trajectory of there respective arcs. G.H.O.S.T have been actively making everyone’s lives worse, and Megatron is in a constant catch 22 situation. I’m not good at concluding things sorry.

[thatsgay-writes]

Hey! So I had an idea and I was wondering if you would consider writing it. It's a Beatrice X Reader.

It's just after the final battle of season 1. Mary and Reader being the badasses they are fought together. Mary died. Reader didn't. It's around 6 months after( I don't really know the timeline) , anyway Adriel and his supports took Reader and basically toured her for info and anything they could use against the 'Warrior Nun' and being the person Reader never said anything, no matter how bad it got they kept their mouth shut. Eventually Adriel left, he knew R wouldn't speak but he found joy in keeping his supporters there (basement) where she was held so that they could continue hurting her. It's a day or two after Adriel left and word got out they something was important there but Ava , Beatrice , Camilla and whoever you want there didn't know what. When they get there they don't find anything and they are about to leave when they hear punches and shouts from a group of people. They go to the basement and they see 3 or 4 men kicking punching and slicing with a knife (if you want) against someone they can't really see because it's too dark (Reader could be strapped to a chair or hung from their wrists from the ceiling). A few seconds later, all of the men r down. They get closer Camilla turns in the lights and they see Reader. Shock. Gasps. (you know absolute shockkkk) they thought R died with Mary. Moving Reader to the amazing van they have. Reader is unconscious at this point. They tend to her wounds like loads of wounds- stab wounds-slice wounds-bruises and scars. R wakes up and has a heartfelt reunion and you can decide how that plays out. If this is uncomfortable for you, you don't have too right it, just an idea I had because I love myself an angst,love ending story!! :)

Not ProofRead, Off The Dome

Days bled into weeks, blurred into months as you hung from the ceiling. It was routine by now, wake up, get hung by the ceiling from your wrist, get tortured for information, get unhooked, and then repeat it all the next day. Sometime you wish you had taken Mary's place or been by her side as you bled out together instead of being forced to watch as the life drained from her eyes. The first days of your torture hadn't been that bad by standards. You were hit a few times, pushed around but nothing seriously damaging. Until the big bad, Adriel, paid a visit to get information out of you. Knives, tasers, even a few well placed gun shots were used almost everyday. Your hands were numb and blue by the time you were taken down from the ceiling and you were healed as much as possible each night. It was always the same set of questions, "Where is the Warrior Nun hiding? What is her weakness? How long will it take for her to come for you?"

You never answered any of the questions, you barely spoke and if you did it would be something along the lines of a fuck you or just straight up calling Adriel a bitch. In your head though, you were begging for either freedom in the form of escape or death. You had lost hope that your friends would come for you or that they even knew you were alive. Even after a while the thought of Beatrice coming to rescue you dwindled away. You hadn't seen Adriel in a few days, so you figured he left, but the beatings and torture stayed almost consistent. Clearly, Adriel had left specific instructions on how to handle you this time rather than just leaving it up to the Firstborn Children.

---

Beatrice sat in the back of the slightly sexual puff pastry truck as Yasmine drove them all to a secret building they had uncovered by getting information from a member of the Firstborn Children. She stared at a small photograph of the two of you from your first anniversary, almost five years ago. Beatrice wishes that she could go back in time and relive those years all over again. She'd make sure to hold onto you tighter, spend all her time with you, maybe she'd even ask you to marry her, just to spend a few years in complete bliss. But now you were gone and Beatrice felt cold and alone. She wasn't alone in a literal sense, Ava sitting next to her, Camila across, and Mother Superion and Yasmin in the passenger and driver seat but in her heart. She always felt this constant coldness that couldn't be taken away with a cozy blanket or hot chocolate, the only time it ever felt warm was when she was asleep and dreaming of you or reliving memories. Only to wake up the next day, cold. Beatrice had always been the one to think through things and go into fights logically but if this building was as important to Adriel as the Firstborn Children said, she wanted to to tear it apart and burn it to the ground.

---

Beatrice was pissed, this whole excursion had felt like a waste of time. Not only was the building huge, it looked and felt abandoned. There were no secrets in this building, the Firstborn Children must've just used this as a distraction. Camila could feel the frustration rolling off of Beatrice and she felt terrible for the older girl. It was clear how much everything had taken a toll on her. It was clear from the beginning that Beatrice, Mary, Shannon, Lilith and you had been the unofficial Warrior Nun dream team. But now you, Shannon, and Mary were dead and Lilith had disappeared. Beatrice was the last one standing and even Camila could see she barely was.

They were about to give up their search of the building when Camila hears a faint noise coming from down the hall. She peeks her head out of the room they all stood in and she could see a faint, barely there, glow of light. "Guys!" She whispered to her fellow nuns and gestured towards the door and the light. All of her friends tensed and instantly got into a formation as they made their way down the hall. Coming up to the door it was slightly left open, allowing Beatrice to see into the room. "They're torturing someone, this must be why this building is so important... I see nine people in total. Ready?" Beatrice asks, not really waiting for an answer as she kicks down the door and enters the room, cutting out the lights so the men were more confuse and unable to see.

---

"I think that's all of them." Ava says as she catches her breath. All the men they fought were uncharacteristically big and bulky, which Beatrice had failed to mention. "All right, let's see who all this fuss is about." Ava says as she moves in front of your body, Beatrice and Camila were standing by the door keeping look out. "Beatrice hit the lights please... Thank-" As soon as Beatrice flips the switch, Ava's heart stops. There you were. Head hung, hands slightly blue, blood dripping from one of your many injuries onto the floor but alive. "Camila help me quick!" Ava yells as she grabs a chair in the corner of the room so she can get you untied from the rope. "What? Who is-" Camila lets out an audible gasp as you come into view. She helps Ava untangle you and lower you to the floor. "Beatrice cover our front and Yasmin help us get them out of here!" Ava commands, she couldn't let Beatrice see you till they were out of the building. She knew Beatrice would freeze and that's not something they could afford right now.

---

"Are they okay?" Beatrice asks now that they are comfortable back in the truck and on the road. Ava and Camila share a look, how do they explain who they found. Yasmin just looks a little confused at the two's silence. Ava nods her head towards Camila who returns the nod in understand. She gets up and walks to the front of the truck. "Beatrice, I need you to look at me." Beatrice turns towards Camila with a confused look, why was she being so serious? "You have the most knowledge on medicine, which is why I am begging you to not let feelings get in the way for right now. Once we get to out hideout you can feel whatever you need to feel but I am begging you right now to let logic and reason take over." Beatrice stands, well as much as she could in the truck as she swaps places with Camila, scared to know why she said that. But the second she see your face, it takes everything in her to not fall to her knees and cry and beg for you to wake up. Her mouth feels dry as she swallows and pushes everything to the back of her mind, this was you. She thought you were dead but now you're not and she wasn't going to let you bleed out and be taken from her again.

---

You feel warm as you wake up, which was concerning. You could feel the blanket laid across you and the soft bed and pillow under you as you opened your eyes. Sun was streaming through a window and into the room and you were sure you were dead. You finally gain the strength to sit up and you can feel all the aches and pains and the tightly wrapped bandages that cover your body. Ok, maybe you weren't dead but you were highly confused. You shakily get out of bed and look at the clothes that were put on you. Normal things, pants, a shirt, socks, nothing crazy but what did get you to freeze was the scent coming off the clothes. You hold the hem of the shirt up to your face and you can feel your eyes watering, it smells like Beatrice, it smells like home. With a newfound vigor, you walk as fast as you can from the room, ignoring the way you have to favor your right leg. You could here conversations and laughs the farther into the house you get and the more excited you feel.

Could this be a new way of torture created by Adriel so that your dreams were no longer safe? Yes. Did you care in that moment? No. You reach a large set of double doors, the only thing left blocking you from, who you hope is real, Beatrice. You take a deep breath as you attempt to fix your shirt and hair, like Beatrice hasn't seen you at your worst and open the door. The silence to your arrival was daunting, luckily almost everyone looked familiar and grew smiles on their faces at the sight of you. But the person you were mainly concerned for looked like she could cry, "Bea." You let out breathlessly as you feel all the hope you had lost return to you instantaneously. You take one step into the room before Bea is closing the distance and pulling you into her arms, mindful of your injuries. "Is this real? Please tell me this is real." You say to her over and over again as you cry into her shoulder. She pulls back from the hug to take you face into her hands. "This is real, I promise. And I am never letting you out of my sight again." You can see the way Beatrice's eyes look at you like your the most important thing in the world and you know that your not dreaming and you know she will stick to that vow. "Good." Is all you can say as you lean forwards for a kiss and thank any and every high-power that there is that you were back in Beatrice's arms.

[rebelwrites]

Winner Takes It All || Seventeen: Fate Is Fucking Stupid

Charles Leclerc x Valentina Hendrix (OC)

Winner Takes It All Masterlist

Summary: After four months Hudson finally realizes something leading to a heart to heart with Vali.

Warnings: mentions of a toxic past relationship

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

Hudson’s POV

I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I walked back into the hotel room to find Valentina sprawled out of the sofa, a duvet wrapped around her, tissues scattered on the coffee table and Formula One on the tv. Even with her being sick I knew she would refuse to miss the race even if she couldn’t be there herself.

Everything had been amazing over the last four months, watching V take the racing world by storm was a sight to be seen, everyone on the track loved her, her fan base was crazy and I was actually scared of them at times. Then summer break came and in my opinion the time went far too quickly, the time spent with V and her family was perfect. There were no expectations, everything was chilled out and we took each day as it came. It was like V needed the rest, even if she didn’t say anything I knew the pressure was getting to her, there was a lot riding on her especially in her rookie season.

The feeling of watching her take first place at Monza was out of this world, and everyone could see just how much this meant to her.

But there was something that I had noticed over the last couple of weeks that I couldn’t shake. I had a feeling this was coming and I wasn’t even mad about it.

“Sweetheart, I got you some more of that herbal tea you like.” I hummed, softly closing the hotel door behind me.

Raising my brow when I received nothing but silence, I knew she wouldn’t have fallen asleep, not until quali was over. Dumping the paper bag by the door, I kicked my trainers off before going to find out why I was getting zero response from V.

“You doing okay?” I shouted as I walked into the living room of the suit. Once again I was met with silence.

The moment I saw the TV I knew exactly why I wasn’t getting a response. Charles was doing his post quali interview and that was the thing that had grabbed every ounce of V’s attention.

It was in this moment everything I had noticed over the last couple of weeks made complete sense, any time Charles walked into a room she went quiet. Running my fingers through my hair, I took a deep breath. I had no idea how this conversation was going to play out but it needed to happen.

“Hey, sweetheart.” I hummed, moving her legs so I could join her on the sofa, placing her legs over my.

“Shit, you made me jump.” she breathed, turning away from the TV giving me her full attention. “I zoned out again.”

“We need to speak, V.” I whispered, reaching over tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “I just want you to know that I am not mad at you okay, I completely understand.”

The confused look on her face made me smile, she was so damn cute when she was confused.

“Huds, what are you on about, baby.” she whispered, linking her fingers with mine.

I couldn’t lie and say I wasn’t going to miss this, or miss her because I was going to, but this wasn’t fair on either of us.

“You still love him don’t you?” I asked softly, brushing my thumb over the top of her hand. It took her a moment to realise what I had asked but the moment the penny dropped I could see tears form in her eyes as she dropped eye contact with me.

“I’m sorry.” I whimpered, pulling her hand away from mine as she scooted into the far corner of the sofa, tucking her legs to her chest.

“Sweetheart,” I hummed, moving closer to her wrapping my arms around her pulling her into my chest. “You have nothing to be sorry about, okay.”

The sound of her crying hurt my soul, I could sense how this must have been eating her up.

“I thought I was honestly over him when we got together, I really fucking did.” she sobbed clutching my t-shirt. “I would never lead you on.”

Taking a deep breath, I pressed a kiss against the top of her head. “I know, sweetheart, I know.” For a few moments I held onto her letting her cry it out against my chest.

“Do you hate me?”

“Oh V, I could never hate you,” I whispered, paying with the ends of her hair. “I’ve been where you are, I know how hard it is to think you are over someone but sure enough they slowly start to creep back into your thoughts when you least expect it.”

Feeling her pull away from me, she wiped her eyes with the sleeves of my hoodie she was wearing before speaking again. “I feel so stupid, four years, its been four fucking years Huds. I really thought I was over him, I really wanted to be over him, I wanted to give us the best chance without a past relationship looming over us like a dark fucking cloud.”

“It’s harder when you see your ex pretty much every single weekend.” I nodded, taking her hand once again. “Look sweetheart,” I said softly, causing her to look up with tears once again threatening to spill over her lash line. “The world has a funny way of showing you what your heart truly wants, it has this fucked up way sometimes of telling you who your soulmate actually is. Yes you two separated, Charles went left, you went right trying to put the pieces of your heart back together but the one thing you both forgot is the world is round so you were bound to bump into each other again.”

“Fate is fucking stupid.” she sniffled, fiddling with my rings.

“I agree with you on that one.” I chuckled, taking a deep breath trying to steady my own heartbeat. I knew this was going to be painful because of how amazing this girl was but I knew it wasn’t fair she needed to listen to her heart. “If there is one piece of advice I can give you, it's to follow your heart sweetheart, listen to what it's calling out for. Soulmates always end up together, no matter how much love gets lost, no matter how much distance there was. You lose each other to find each other again.” I whispered.

“That’s what it’s like when someone is meant for you, if they leave they will return and stay forever.”

The two of us sat there in silence, wrapped up in each other's arms, cherishing the last moments of the relationship. Even if I couldn’t have her as my girl there was no way I was letting her out of my life. If I was being honest with myself I knew there was a chance of this happening the night of the gala, I saw the pain in Charles’ eyes and how hard V was trying to hide the pain showing in her own eyes. But part of me still hoped that her heart didn’t belong to Charles.

Running my fingers through her hair, I pressed another kiss to the top of her head causing her to stir, the moment she fell asleep I wasn’t going to be cruel and wake her up as I knew she hadn’t been sleeping well.

“What are we going to tell the fans?” she whispered, lifting her head from my chest. “Not that it’s any of their business but I don’t want either of us to be painted in a bad light you know.”

“We will put a post out in a couple of days just stating it was a mutual agreement to go our separate ways and there is no bad blood between us and we will still be friends and work together.” I smiled softly, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. “Now there is one other thing I need to tell you, something I have kept from you but you need to know.”

“Please tell me you aren’t married?” she laughed, causing me to crack a wide smile.

“I swear, never been married.” I chuckled, playing with her fingers. “But it involves Becky.” I sighed. The sound of her name caused V to sit up straight taking both my hands in hers. Letting out a shaky breath I explained to her everything that bitch did to me, from the emotional blackmail to the physical abuse.

V listened to every word I said and at this point there were tears rolling down both of our cheeks. I was never one to be vulnerable but here I was spilling my heart out.

“That fucking bitch.” V growled, I could feel the anger radiating off her. “I’m going to kill her.”

“Hey, I don’t need you getting a murder charge on my behalf okay. I just needed you to know exactly what kind of person she is so you can protect yourself from her.” I whispered, brushing my thumb over her skin. “Just be careful okay, sweetheart. Don’t give her the energy she is desperately seeking.”

Valentina’s POV

Silence, thats what I was fucking left with, fucking silence.

I honestly thought I was over Charles, that I was moving on with my life and I could piece my heart back together with the help of Hudson. But once again I was back to square one of being broken, my heart shattered further and at this point it was beyond repair.

I had nothing left apart from a bottle of Jack Daniels and a pain that wouldn’t fucking go.

To make matters worse I was scrolling through all the pictures in my phone, the ones of me and Hudson, the ones of me and Pierre, family photos, racing photos, photos of me and Jules and finally photos of me and Charles that I couldn’t bring myself to delete. I couldn’t help but torture myself if seemed.

Glancing down at the bottle in my grasp I rolled my eyes at the fact it was now half empty, I hadn’t even realised I had drunk half the contents straight from the bottle.

My head was spinning and not just from the alcohol, there was one person my heart was screaming out for, the person it had been screaming out for the last four years.

Taking a deep breath I screwed the lid back on the bottle, tossing it across the bed.

It was now or never right?

Hudson told me to follow my heart and I made a promise to him that I intended on keeping, even if this would be something I would come to regret come morning.

Launching myself out of the bed, I threw on my gym leggings and the baggiest hoodie that I owned along with my plain black baseball cap and sunglasses. If I was doing this there was going to be no way in hell I was going to be papped in the state I was in.

My whole body was in auto pilot right now, even though we were in Singapore my body knew exactly where to go, like my heart was guiding me to where it needed to go.

No matter what I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking no matter how much I willed them to. Within half an hour I found myself standing outside of a certain someone’s hotel room.

I had no idea how long I had been standing in front of the stupid wooden hotel door, it was like my brain was trying to talk my heart out of this but it was no use, the heart won this time.

Letting out a shaky breath, I counted to ten in my head before knocking on the hotel door. It felt like an age before the door flew open and the person I was here to see was now standing topless in front of me.

“Hi,”

“It’s all your fault” I sobbed, my resolve finally crumbling due to the weight of my heart and the amount of JD I had running through my system.

@chibsytelford @dragon-of-winterfell @ohthemisssery @a-distantdreamer @sgkophie @stillbreathin @angywritesstuff @miamedyu @enchantedbytomandhenry @scribbuluswrites @dangerouspursepeachbear @micks-afterglow @livo67 @buendiabebeta @pleasedontfollowinlost @ferrarifwendvale @hungryhungarian @theplobnrgone @charlesleclercje @sunf1owerrq @queenslife @panicforspec @inesramoss30 @justme2042 @liv67 @sessgjarg @derpinathebrave @idkiwantchocolatee @littleobsessionsandlifeslessons @alynoa @clcspeonies @pleasantducktimetravel @organasith @inchidentwithmax @raaaaabzzz @teamspideyman @marvelousmendess @mehrmonga @sbgal

[lipglossanon]

it’s ripe spooky season finally and my god i had to stop myself this wasn’t even finished but it’s too long already 🫣 imagine if dark stepdaddy leon and reader went costume shopping and she gets all excited a prop gun and he gets ideas 👀 (which is never a good thing considering him 🤭) but you two get home and he’s instantly back in whatever headspace you wanna call it a dom headspace, daddy headspace whatever and makes you get undressed except your collar and you ask if you can wear clothes which he would normally get upset over but you were flustered so he asked why and you said you liked it when he ripped them off and he helped you pick out a pair of panties, shorts, and a top to wear before taking you back to his room and laying you down asking you if you wanted this to be consensual and you shook your head and he said okay, you two struggled for a bit before he pulled the prop gun out and you said i want the real one i know this one won’t hurt me and pouted so he obliged getting an unloaded one from his desk and coming back to you he’s over top of you pressing the barrel to your head and threatening you when you grab his hand and move it down to your mouth lightly wrapping your lips around it staring at him making him hesitate giving you space to lick the length of it and giggle asking him if he really likes it that much when he smirks you guide his hand to shove it in your mouth making you moan and spread your legs, wishing he could see you close around nothing he tells your take them off so you do and leave your panties on and push them to side so you can slip your middle finger on each hand into your hole and spread yourself for him while he rocks the gun gently into your mouth again making you moan and clench causing him to curse and place the gun in the nightstand drawer and pick the prop gun back up gliding it across your folds so it’s slick when he inches it into your cunt making you loudly moan and cry out daddy while he braces his other hand on your stomach and fucks into you with the barrel of the prop gun when you finally cum around it you’re squeezing it too tight him to remove and when he tried again you remove your fingers and grab his hand pushing the gun further into your pussy while you orgasm and he finally pulls it out and your putting it back in your mouth to suck your juices off of it and he gets an idea and gets up and retreat to bathroom after digging through his dresser and he comes out in (to save the word count re4 remake leon fit,,,, ya know the one) and you squeeze your breasts making you moan and spread your legs just from looking at him while he settles between your spread legs he runs the gun across the inside of your thigh making you tremble and whisper please daddy while he tells you to wait but you’re impatient and start feeling him up and he can’t tell you no when you’re moaning and practically working you’re self into an orgasm from touching/seeing him and he can’t complain when you finally do, your body shakes he holds you’re spasming legs while you shudder as the last of it washes over you and he bends over you to breathily whisper against your ear while you arch your back into his touch “i don’t think you told me how much power i had over you momma” and you’re not even coherent anymore Just Dick™️ at this point like you’re clawing at his pants to free his cock while he chuckles and tells you to slow yourself and you can’t do anything other than whine and he finally pulls himself out and starts stroking it while you lightly touch the tip and watch it jerk slightly so you start pumping it with both hands moaning more than him when he finally gets close you’re practically pulling his torso to you so he’ll be inside you when he comes and he does just that, costing your walls and helping you along by shoving the gun down your throat again making cum instantly

- 💀

“i don’t think you told me how much power i had over you momma”

God why is this man fictional 🙄 lol

💀 anon, back at it with another banger 👏 👏

Gun kink is just chefs kiss 😌 especially with dark stepdad. He definitely pairs that with his knife and it gets to the point of when you see them you’re soaking wet 😵‍💫 😵‍💫

[justagirlwhowritess]

Inspired by Noah Kahan’s song “Growing Sideways”.

Pairings: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: mha season six spoiler. Mentions of alcohol 

The anger comes in waves. He never meant to hurt me, I think. The doubt seeps in when the anger recedes leaving me to watch as everyone around me moves on. A career ending injury from a villain I thought loved me. Realizing I was wrong, the anger returned, a sigh leaving my lips as I packed up my final belongings from my locker at the agency. Refusing to cry at a place I used to call home I sealed the box and picked it up. I stumbled, almost dropping my box, stupid prosthetic got stuck on the bench. I’m not used to it yet. I have to relearn everything. I tried to remind myself as the tears and anger returned. A presence beside me ripped me from my thoughts. “Do you need any help?” The voice is calm, but laced with pity. “No, thank you. I need to go.” The words shook me to my core. “Are you sure?” he asks again. I sighed. “Endeavor, I'm fine, really.” He rolled his eyes, taking the box from me anyway and began to walk with me to the elevator. “Touya has always been terrible at expressing himself.” Endeavor spoke again. “Don’t. Don’t you dare defend him to me.” I spat as the tears welled looking at what was once my leg. I took the box from his hands and turned on my one good heel. “He said it himself, he doesn’t give a fuck about me right before he ruined my life.” the words took over before I could reign them in. Endeavor watched as I walked to my car, crying over my life, his son, what could have been. 

Weeks have passed since I left the agency. I believe my anger has been managed, separated at the least. Thoughts of Touya still plagued my angry heart. I haven’t seen or heard from him since that night. Shigaraki has reached out once or twice, telling me that ‘Dabi’ hasn’t been himself, drunker, harsher, more manic. I ignore them, trying to move along with my life as everyone else has. This new me, I'm unrecognizable, scared, running on empty. I don’t know how to be me without being a hero but I'm trying.

It’s a cool early summer night the next time I see him on the beach, maybe 20ish yards from me. My gaze falters, I look back towards the sunset ignoring him, hoping he does the same. “y/n” his voice brings every painful, impatient emotion rushing back, ripping through my body violently. Yet, I still don’t speak. He sits next to me, crystal blue eyes gaze at me, lingering too long on where my leg used to be, the leg he destroyed beyond recognition. I don’t dare look at him, the anger, fear, sadness would be too overwhelming. “y/n” he says again. I shook my head and stood up. “You don’t give a fuck about me, remember?” I spat my eyes never meeting him.

[cookinguptales]

You deserve so much better, and I'm sorry people have treated you this way for any reason. It's especially ridiculous in the context of "differing opinions about the quality of a show/season finale/creative choices," but you absolutely should not have gotten any of these comments for any reason. I love reading your work and your thoughts, but I fully understand if you don't want to share any of that again. There are things I have never posted and likely never will, entire creations that I'm never going to share, due to this exact phenomenon. Online creations, from meta to fic to everything else, are a delight and a privilege, not a given that anyone's entitled to.

You deserve better, and you have the right to share as much or little as you want. Please do what's best for you.

Thank you. This is really kind, and I appreciate it.

Honestly... like, I keep trying to not make a big deal out of this, but it feels so shitty. I know that right now I'm flaring and that makes everything seem worse than it is, but I can't tell you how demoralizing it felt to be unable to eat anything for like 24 hours, then actively pushing my dislocated fingers back into joint and looking on my phone and seeing a paragraph about what a fucking idiot I am. I just wanted to straight-up cry. This is the first time I've ever turned off anon asks, and I've gotten some real doozies over the years.

At first I felt better when I realized it was fewer people than I thought who were angry with me, but I think it's finally sinking in that there were people who hated me so much that they sent me messages for months. I don't get it! Like... I don't think I'm a particularly awful person. Not perfect, to be sure, but I try to be as nice and patient as I can be online. What the heck is so bad about me that I inspire people to follow me around for months?

It feels bad, okay! I'll admit it, it feels bad. I know we're supposed to act like we're above getting our feelings hurt by trolls online, but all this feels weird and bad. I don't like it.

I know that I'm going to keep posting my thoughts again eventually; I think I'm probably physically incapable of shutting up. My thoughts just bounce around in there driving me nuts if I don't get them out. I keep telling myself that there's a significant amount of people who do like me and do like my work and don't feel the need to send me mean comments, I reiterate, for fucking months. Sometimes that does make me feel better, and so did this ask.

idk. I'm just feeling very tired rn. Sorry to be so whiny but I'm just. Really tired. I don't know. I wish I could keep food down. I'm sure that would help my mood. But there's a lot of things I wish, I guess, and all I can really do is curl up with this heating pad and watch people build houses or something.

(...I find watching things getting built to be very soothing. lmao)

Anyway, kind of sucks when your comfort show that you usually turn to when you're stressed is one of the sources of your stress! :')