#Freestyle Writing

[curious-suggestions]

The ghosts of my past howl and taunt

I wish to be freed from this anguish

To feel the soft hand of my love

His hand in my hair and his lips to mine

But the taunts cut deep

I cannot love

I cannot cherish

I am empty

Though I really do wish to be free

[foaming-sea]

Things to write about

Feelings; unsure, unrequited, understood

Colour; Blue or yellow

Places; home

When I look at you I see yellow But all you are is blue and confused When you see me You see how I'm over the moon Head over heals in love with you You understand the depth of the ocean my love is But you don't think you want leave the shore To you I am an unwelcome house guest Where I want you to be my home

-01/12/2023

(I'm not very good at this, but I gave it a shot.... Thanks for the Ask. I really wanted to practice my writing. Sorry to disappoint though)

[inkyycloud]

I never knew until now that fall could be a time of sorrow. where you had enjoyed it at one time with that special person every year like clock work where you would hang up the Halloween decorations with them trying to figure out how to move the plastic spiders limbs and toying with the not so delicate wed while bouncing off your ideas of what you want to be for Halloween and what candy you want to receive to them or argue whether if pumpkin pie or apple was better than all the other pies or begging them to sneak you a piece of turkey and ham at Thanksgiving. Then as the air starts to cool down and the dead leaves fall from the trees does the memories of how they would complain about the leaves getting everywhere to which you would just laugh and shake your head and agree with that or about how they would make you a meal only they could make in the fall for you. But you cant help but remember all the times you thought about how you wished they would just go away and leave you alone to just let you do thing your own way. Only to remember that this fall you won't have them here with you they are now a memory in your head a piece of imagination only to see in your dreams. anything yall would say or do together is never going to happen again with that person. it was only for you and them the special thing you would do for each other and now they are gone you can't touch them, you can't hold them,you can't talk to them, you can't cry to them you cant laugh with them, yell at them Nothing but that empty feeling creeping inside your body knowing you can do Nothing to bring them back even if you tried with your whole heart its worthless. the shadows you see in the corner of your eue wishing and praying that it's them feeling like they are just gone for a little while only to realize they are never walking through those doors again. Knowing you were losing them in the fall a season where you watched them deteriorate and dissappear in front of your own eyes cant standing the thought to look at them in the eyes feeling your past memories of them would be tainted and destroyed. The once goofy, charming, happy person they once were is now a husk ofa human now they are just a shell of what they once were they used to dance with you in the kitchen as you'd make food with them. The anger they felt when a chef had got the food undercooked in chopped. The laughter they had was just Contagious they lit up the room with it. To see that and the shell of the former person they used to be in the corner of the room was heart breaking the fall season never feels complete without them it took your person away. never returning them back to you practically tearing what was left of them out of your hands. Only thing remains is the ashes of their body they fought hard to be with you to live towards another fall full of dancing, carving turkey and laughter but not all things go the way we want. Slowly as the years start passing and the wounds start healing you find the peace and Serenity you had now the way it used to be but a way that suits you. you don't forget about them you keep them close to your heart you hold them you learn to love the fall again your still healing but you've come a long way since the so yeah the fall still brings sorrow but where there is sorrow there is joy.

_______________________________________________

This was kind of angst idk I was feeling it while writing lol this is not proof read

[officialkristincason]

I miss poetic notions and the every side glance of mystery.

Call it fantasy or a dream,

The world will fill it self to the tip and become more than it seems.

Broken down between the line its all so tempting everytime,

Wasting away to throw the blame.

With everything you say needs sympathy.

You want the love from a thousand miles yet forget the times you were wild and free.

What is the limitation of your joy,

Do you just seek the hate that you deploy?

Embrace the preservation, give into sensation

Cause you are so much more than I dreamed.

Thinking of nothing but animosity,

Since you left me to fend for myself.

[justmerelyme207]

Could You Try?

What could you try for the first time? In the past, I wasn’t a very trying person. My way of existence was by doing the opposite of good. If it was safer to not do something; in my mind that gave me more reason to do it. My life was an argument, I struggled willingly in all aspects. All I’d ever say is that I “just wanted to be free”… but what was it that I wanted to be free from after…

[nottobeadickoranything]

...and as night befell America, heard throughout the rustling of the leaves in an empty forest, heard within the beats of the bpm hammering the sweaty club walls, heard in the aisles of every corporate grocery store, yes, in all of that, also within the rustlings of barren desert tumbleweeds! Every crevice of the USA shook "America" to its core with a rumbling, a familiar tone...

...geno cide joe has got to go, hey hey, hoe hoe...

[takira-j]

Everyone is dead but us.

The wind blew harsh against my ear. I saw before me the monster, a man, the one i'd saved numerous times before. The one who's heart was tarnished by birth. He who was helped by the republic by my own recommendation. The rain poured heavy for this tragic day was like no other. The thing that stood before me spoke. "Thank you. For your gift." It's words burnt a hole in my heart. It spoke with the voice of my beloved. The man i once knew, who i thought i knew with every ounce of my body. Laid beside me were my brethren, beaten, bloodied, and cold. Their blood washed from my hand by the rain, detaching the remaining piece of them i had. My own sister, a stake through her throat where her body hung against a wall. My own friends buried somewhere in the mud, tortured in seconds, bodies ripped of their skin and left for the bugs. I was frozen. Not by the cold of the freezing water on my skin, but by the clarity of what i was harboring for years. I wanted to shiver. I wanted to tremble. My mind screamed for my body to move, yet my eyes were locked on this being, frozen not by fear, shock, or pain. Why were it's eyes soft for me. Why did it smile in glee for what it's done. "You are alone now. You are twisted, for you are at fault." I wanted to cry but my tears would just be washed away. It was right, this was entirely of my own doing. I kept it alive. I let it into my home. I let him into my life until it revolved around it, consumed by it's desire's and captivation. I let it continue it's sadism in peace, never questioning it, never wondering if such a being could exist. I watched it turn away from me and walk farther into the blistering rain. I couldn't even think to move in order to stop it. Without punishment, without justice, it escaped from my sight in the blinding rain. A single gunshot rung off in front of me, and a drop of a body. It was not by me, nor anyone else. Everyone is dead, but me.

[gunpostell]

THE MUSE PLAYS HARD TO GET

WRITING TIPS TO BE AND STAY INSPIRED By Robin Postell You wan to know the truth about how super creative writers and other artists keep the Muse on tap? The Muse, you must know, only comes around when there is mastery afoot. She senses it and cannot resist diving into what’s brewing. My estimation of the Muse has grown through the years, but she has always been female. Typically I would…

[lostcaspxr]

Freedom

What does it mean to be free?

Working at a corporate 9-5 job. 5 days a week for the rest of my life? Yeah, I tried, I was even doing something I always wanted to. My body and will were destroyed by someone who couldn't respect their employees' work.

Become a content creator? I am trying to, but there are a whole lot of other people doing the same thing. I don't ever want to show my face. I don't have a nice voice. What makes me any different?

There is so much out there. What makes me so unique?

There is no freedom. The government doesn't want to really help us. They just want to screw us over. Families are struggling to even keep their house. Since when was having a house a luxury?

I feel so discouraged... Women my age have an only fans and make millions of dollars by showing off their bodies. Everything is so sexualized now.

I sit here, willing to chain myself to this despair. My life will never change.

How can it if my mind doesn't change?

[eliteseven]

A Healing Session- Drabble

Pairing: (named) F!Tav x Shadowheart

Words: 4.4k

Summary: Set late Act 1/Early Act 2, Shadowheart has been withdrawing emotionally. Tav gets the brilliant idea to injure herself, hoping it'll earn her an intimate healing session, and bring Shadowheart out of her shell.

Rating: T (blood/injury mentions)

Tags: Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort

Sharran as her healing magic might be, Shadowheart’s touch is still tender, like the look in her eyes as she drags a fingertip against Tav's bare ribcage. 

Tav can barely breathe, but that’s less to do with the bruised rib she sports from a gnoll attack, and more to do with the breathtaking cleric doing away with her tunic to get a better look. 

Here, in the safety and relative darkness of Shadowheart’s own tent, there is a moment of silence between them. 

Tav shudders as Shadowheart heals her, with a palm pressed down gently against her skin, setting her entire chest ablaze. 

Shadowheart’s eyes wander, occasionally, hungrily, but she schools her expression and leans back, admiring her handiwork. 

“Breathe for me?” She instructs, breathy and focused on ensuring the quality of her healing, and it’s all too easy to imagine her saying as much under very different pretenses. 

So Serena breathes, filling her lungs with air- perfumed by the sweet floral scent of whatever vial of perfume Shadowheart has bartered off a local trader. 

It’s intoxicating. 

A flash of green; Shadowheart’s eyes twinkle with mirth when Serena shudders once again on the exhale, though not due to any physical pain. 

“Better?” Shadowheart whispers, her voice soft like the breeze that causes the flowers to sway and dance for them, just outside her tent. 

Serena rests her hand atop Shadowheart’s own for a moment; a silent but reverent “thank you” for her care. 

There’s but a second of hesitation- but they are out of sight of the rest of camp, and Shadowheart graces her with the soft brush of her thumb against her hand. 

Serena forgets to answer, what with the way her lips part ever-so-slightly in awe at the pleasant warmth of the contact, and the way her heart races loudly inside her chest. 

She’s certain Shadowheart can feel it. 

“You’re nervous.” Shadowheart remarks- there is a smirk there, yes, but it isn’t quite smug like Serena has known her expressions to be. 

“You’re close.” Serena whispers the truth back to her, not trusting her voice not to break. 

Shadowheart traces a single fingertip against the dip of Serena’s chest. Her touch is exceedingly gentle; she seems almost reverent, too, not unlike the way Tav looks at her. She looks as though she wants to say something- perhaps to lean down and kiss Tav, as sweetly as she did the night they celebrated the saving of the Druid’s Grove. 

But she doesn’t. 

Instead, the sound of footsteps- their campmates returning with food, Serena wagers, and any and all intimacy is suddenly turned to dust and ash before them. 

Serena finds herself laying there before her, clothing still riding up her exposed chest, as Shadowheart seemingly loses interest. “There.” She huffs, without any of the tender curiosity she’d showcased a moment prior.

“...I don’t know how to thank you, Shadowheart.” Serena quickly snaps to attention; it’s clear her welcome is worn. 

She gets these fleeting moments with the cleric, so genuine and beautiful, and they disappear as quickly as they came, often with Shadowheart clutching her hand and scowling. 

“Be more careful. My Lady can only give me so much.” Shadowheart advises with a sniff, looking away, as if she can’t hold Tav’s stare. 

Serena nods, and adjusts her clothing, stepping out of the tent without another word. 

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s not the brightest idea Serena’s ever had. 

In the days since leaving the creche behind them and working their way out of the mountain pass, Shadowheart has withdrawn noticeably. 

They’re not close, per se- they still bicker and argue on nearly every subject that comes up. That, coupled with their impromptu trip to the Creche, has had Shadowheart scowling for the last tenday or so- but it’s worse, now. 

It’s to do with Shar, partially- Serena knows as much. 

She doesn’t fully understand what tethers that wretched goddess to Shadowheart beyond faith, but she has an inkling that Shar’s grip on Shadowheart has been loosening, as of late. 

In turn, Shadowheart has doubled down on her faith- she withdraws, does not seek Tav’s presence out in the middle of the night as she might have, does not entertain moonlit trysts.

In fact, it seems she’s withdrawn mostly from Tav alone, preferring to eat her meals away from wherever Tav sits, bathe on the opposite end of the river near camp, and pitch her tent as far away from her as possible. 

It stings, undoubtedly- as Shadowheart never communicates. She is an enigma, hidden behind sing-song words that could cut into one’s spirit at times, while being violently tender the next moment. 

Serena wonders what she might have said, or done, to evoke such a sudden banishment from Shadowheart’s attention and her affections. 

It’s become a delicate balance of trying to understand what upsets her so, while avoiding incensing her and crowding her; it’s not something Serena can confront directly- she pulls away each time. 

And Serena, being Serena, cannot let the matter rest. 

Serena’s mother always used to tell her, quite fondly, that she was just like a hummingbird; restless, but persistent, her determination in the task she’d set forth to accomplish often belying her grace.

Shadowheart is the delicate night orchid that Serena cautiously hovers; she wishes to see her bloom, but she hasn’t the means to get close enough. 

Unless, of course, she has a need for their resident healer. 

…Again, it’s not the brightest idea she’s ever had. 

In fact, sustaining bodily injury is something Serena has striven to avoid, for the entirety of her life, a deep-seated preference any well-adjusted individual might hold. 

To seek it out purposefully to win the affections of the beautiful and mysterious cleric of Shar traveling with them? 

Asinine. 

…Perhaps, just enough to work. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It does not work. 

Not the first attempt, anyway. 

It’s a fairly simple plan Serena intends to enact; she will charge recklessly into their next battle, at the vanguard, so to speak, and earn herself a simple contusion, a little scratch that might warrant the touch of her favorite cleric. 

Simple, really. 

…Only, it isn’t. 

Their first hostile encounter turns out to be a rather long and drawn out affair, fighting off a pair of Death Shepards (ghastly creatures, even by Serena’s standards), and a pack of ghouls at their disposal. 

…In broad daylight, oddly enough. 

There are times when Serena’s military training seems to resurface at the forefront of her mind; she can hear her former Cormyrean Lionar, the noble Captain Morand, shouting at her to take a defensive stance. 

…It’s good advice, truly. Advice that Serena does not heed. 

To be fair, she does manage to fell a ghoul or two by her blade before she’s well and truly swarmed. 

It’s something of a shock when the first bout of paralysis hits her, coming off a particularly nasty blow from a nearby ghoul. 

She has a fine view of the rest of the battle from the dirt where her head lies. 

Lae’zel and Gale clean house together; thanks the Gods that Gale has the foresight to actually stay back enough to lay waste to their enemies in a great blaze of fire. Lae’zel makes short work of the singed survivors; she moves with all the grace and fluidity Serena was supposed to demonstrate. 

She can practically hear Lae’zel’s eyeroll when she falls, paired with a biting, “Istik”, to boot. 

To make matters worse, it is not the cleric her heart has been yearning for, that scoops Serena into her arms, and whispers healing words to her. 

…It’s Halsin. 

Serena comes to full consciousness sometime later, blearily trying to gather her bearings as she’s carried effortlessly into camp by the kind-hearted Druid. 

When he passes Shadowheart’s tent, Serena does her best to avert her gaze from the cleric who emerges from the flaps with a rather bewildered look. She doesn’t need to see Shadowheart ogling Halsin’s apparent strength, or Lae’zel’s majestic blood-stained form, or anyone else, really. She’s suffered enough, for one day. 

“What in Lady Shar’s name happened?” 

“This one forgot how to fight, it seems.” Lae’zel grunts as she makes for her own tent. 

Serena hears it over her shoulder, and wishes Halsin would simply chuck her off the cliff face at the edge of the camp border. 

Instead, he deposits her at her own tent, and recommends a nice herbal tea to combat some lasting effects. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second attempt is marginally better planned than the first. 

And really, Serena knows it’s pathetic- with all their concerns, talking to Shadowheart should hardly be the first thing on her mind when she wakes every morning. 

But it is; Shadowheart is, and the little persistent hummingbird within Serena’s heart simply cannot let the matter rest. 

…So she goes for a spectacle, this time. 

Sparring is a daily occurrence in camp; at least for the select few warriors among their ranks. 

It is often Lae’zel who initiates the sparring sessions, but Serena is more than happy to continually hone her skills against the whetstone of Lae’zel’s prowess with a blade. Shadowheart might carry a disdain for the Githyanki- something Serena longs to inquire about, as it conflicts directly with the softer nature she’s seen Shadowheart display in fleeting moments. Serena shares no such disillusions about Lae’zel- though her nature is brusque, her intentions are generally honorable, and her no-nonsense mentality has proven more than useful. 

Often times, Karlach will join in- and though her focus is less mechanical and more to do with the intensity with which she fights- it proves a challenging workout for Serena, if not an opportunity to understand her companions a little better. Though Karlach risks setting her enemies ablaze; she spars with a unique sense of control, a restraint that Serena can only admire. 

Wyll joins in from time to time as well, though he seems to prefer observing and offering invaluable corrections to Serena’s footwork from the side, away from the action. A wise and seasoned ruler he’d make; Serena has thought of the title he carries more than once, and how suited he is to follow his father’s footsteps. 

It is the perfect plan, in essence: Serena can spar with her companions as normal- (which, in itself, is a spectacle she foolishly hopes will impress Shadowheart), and then she will drop her guard at the last moment, earning herself a bloody nose or a simple scrape- anything to give her an excuse to find time alone with Shadowheart again, away from prying eyes. 

As expected, her request is met with some resistance, when she asks, mid-sparring. 

Her chest heaves as she breathes hard, sweat trickling down her forehead, dampening the throwaway clothes she wears- so as not to ruin her only clean set over a simple training session. 

Karlach’s own shoulders rise and fall with intensity as she grins, delighted by the adrenaline, the thrill of the sport. 

Lae’zel even seems a touch winded from their last bout- but there is an unmistakable glint of delight in her eyes. 

All three of them share solidarity in their love of the battle; of bettering themselves every day, forging themselves in the fires (literally, for Karlach) of war. 

There is an unspoken air of mutual respect between them.

…Naturally, Serena will ruin it with a single, idiotic question. 

“...This time, would you please…try to hit me?” Serena requests, rather awkwardly, and years of lessons in diplomacy seem to fall flat, at this moment. 

Karlach wears a dumbfounded expression. “You want me to burn you?” She asks, simply. 

Lae’zel rolls her eyes. “Is it not obvious?” She speaks in more of a hiss, but Serena supposes she deserves as much. “She seeks to injure herself.” 

Karlach’s expression falls immediately. “Oh, soldier, no…there are ways to-” 

“Not like that!” Serena cuts her off mercifully. “I only wish to…” she glances backwards for a moment, at Shadowheart’s tent. “Nevermind, I didn’t-”  

“Oh!” Karlach whistles, and Serena makes a “hush” motion with her hands, her eyes going wide. She’s thankful Wyll and the others have made themselves scarce; the last thing she needs is this gossip spreading through the camp like a wildfire. 

Shadowheart does value discretion over all else, of course. 

“I think I get it.” Karlach nods in an excited, hushed whisper. “ ‘Little bit of a show, and then an unlucky blow to land you in the healer’s tent.” 

“Istik.” Lae’zel’s words drip with venom, but her voice does not hold that distinctive, angry quality Serena has sometimes come to associate with it. 

No, there is something else here. 

Amusement. Buried deep, perhaps, but amusement all the same. 

“It’s good.” Karlach rubs her chin, as if deep in thought. “Believable.” She glances around, left and right, before continuing in a whisper. “Okay, soldier, how do you want to do this?”

“...What do you mean?” Serena blinks.

…Okay, so she hasn’t choreographed it, exactly. In truth, she didn’t think she’d get this far. 

“Well, we could do a whole bit, right?” Karlach thinks aloud. “If you do a heroic pose- y’know, kind of like this-” she demonstrates, flexing her muscles. “-right? Then Lae’zel might do one of those fancy jumps, yeah?” The excitement in her voice is palpable, and her volume begins to rise. “Ooh, yes! And then, we could-” 

Lae’zel scoffs, jabbing forward with the pommel of her sword, cleanly striking Serena’s nose. 

A veritable fountain of blood begins to gush from her nose as she gasps in utter shock, pinching her nose with a hiss and glaring at Lae’zel. 

“...It is done.” Lae’zel offers wisely, shoving her forward a few feet. 

“Oh, shit.” Karlach winces as the shock wears off, her eyes wide. “Could we get a healer out here?” She calls, pointedly, and Serena almost wants to roll her eyes at the lack of subtlety. 

No one emerges from their tents. 

Karlach blinks, and then shrugs helplessly, cupping her hands around her mouth to help carry the sound of her shout. “I said, can we have a healer out here?” She calls. “Wow, soldier, that’s a lot of blood!” Karlach’s atrocious theatrics earn her nothing more than an eye roll from Lae’zel. 

They can hear the sound of passing butterflies flapping their wings, quiet as the camp falls, when they’ve ceased the clanging of their swords. 

“...Huh.” Karlach pants with her hands on her hips, glancing around quizzically. “Where is everyone?” 

It’s Astarion, who emerges from his tent, with a sort of feral look in his eyes as he regards the utter buffet that Tav seems to be putting on display for him. He makes his way over with a saunter in his walk, slow enough that Serena starts to feel a little dizzy from the blood loss. 

“My, all that for me?” He grins, in a most cheshire manner, leaning haphazardly against one of Lae’zel’s training dummies, his arms folded expectantly. 

“For Shadowheart, actually.” Karlach corrects, and then withers some under Serena’s incredulous scowl. “...kidding, of course.” 

“...Oh.” Astarion loses interest rather quickly, shrugging nonchalantly. “She’s not here. Try not to die before she returns…it would be a waste.” He remarks lazily. 

“Not here?” Serena echoes, muffled by the sound of her hand trying to stop the bleeding, pinching her nose and making her sound even more pathetic than she feels. 

“On the hunt with our grizzly Druid friend that she abhors so.” Astarion smirks.

“...What?” Serena repeats, rather stupidly. She hadn’t checked to see if Shadowheart was in camp; she imagines there are words far worse than “istik” running through Lae’zel’s mind right about now, judging by the way she’s gaping at her. 

 “Hm, what are the odds only one of them returns? Or better yet- what if they return quite amicably?” Astarion muses aloud, always one to stir the pot. 

“...Right.” Serena grits out. “Well, I’d best find a cloth to stifle this with, then.” 

“...Do you mind saving some of the-” 

“Astarion.” The single word of warning from Serena, even as funny and nasally as it comes out, seems to do the trick. 

“...Truly, what a bore.” 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Serena’s all but given up on reconnecting with Shadowheart in the way they did the night of the celebration. 

Every attempt she’s made has been futile; whether an attempt to injure herself, or an attempt to simply confront the flighty cleric, who hides behind snark and sass when she means to be most vulnerable. 

Worse yet; Serena is convinced that whatever attraction Shadowheart might have held for her is well and truly gone. 

It’s a loss that aches, and Serena tries not to dwell on it as they continue their journey to the Shadow Cursed lands. 

The days are busy enough; filled with movement, conflict, ever-changing circumstances that keep her on her toes, distracted. 

The nights are far more difficult; their solitude is inescapable. 

So Serena fills her nights in camp with quiet activities to keep her idle hands from burning holes into her pockets. 

She finds a seat away from the chatter around the campfire; back towards her own tent. She’s taken to pitching her tent a good distance away from the others now, giving Shadowheart as wide a berth as possible. 

It’s where she sits now; perched on the ground outside her own tent, Serena carefully gets to work stitching one of the torn ears back onto Karlach’s favored stuffed bear, Clive. 

She works by the candlelight from her tent setup behind her; dark, but just light enough to see. Her hands work deftly, long fingers moving around the sewing and darning needles she keeps at hand, part of a kit gifted to her by her mother, long ago. 

It’s peaceful; she can hear the soft trill of the bugs, the gentle trickle of the water running south by the bend, the crackling of the fire and soft laughter emanating from around it. 

It’s the sound of shoes crunching upon dirt and gravel, approaching her position, that causes Serena to look up. 

When she does, she’s greeted by the sight of Shadowheart, in her cloister suit that she always wears around camp, and her breath catches in her throat. 

Serena stabs herself with the tip of the needle before she can realize what she’s doing, and she hisses at the pinprick sensation against her thumb.

Immediately, her cheeks burn with a fierce blush. 

Wonderful.

“That looked like it hurt.” Shadowheart remarks, her words dripping with that same flirtatious, playful quality that Serena has come to adore. 

“...No more than anything else this past tenday.” Serena mutters, before she can stop herself. 

Shadowheart lifts a brow, and Serena realizes her mistake, but it’s too late. 

“...So I’ve heard.” Shadowheart comments, inviting herself to take the vacant space beside her. “Gnolls, Death Shepards, Ghouls, and apparently, the pommel of Lae’zel’s sword.” She smirks when she delivers the last bit. 

Serena scoffs. “Does anyone in this camp discuss matters of relevance?” 

Shadowheart reaches out, boldly cupping Serena’s cheek with one hand. Serena gasps, at her mercy the instant she meets Shadowheart’s touch. 

If she leans into it subconsciously, Shadowheart says nothing about it at all. 

“This is broken.” She brushes a thumb over the bridge of Serena’s nose, and she hisses at the pain that shoots through it. “How’d you manage this?” 

“I think you already know.” Serena huffs, though her heart races, battering itself against her ribcage once more. 

“Do I?” Shadowheart’s eyes narrow. “I’ve seen you spar. You pride yourself on never letting Lae’zel get a scratch in.” 

Serena’s eyes widen. 

So maybe Shadowheart does watch, from time to time. 

“Don’t tell me that’s what you’ve been doing all along.” Shadowheart pinches the bridge of her own nose in utter annoyance, scoffing at her own words. 

Serena bristles indignantly. “I don’t know what you mean.” She lies, poorly. 

“Have you been seeking injury on purpose, just to get my attention?” Shadowheart demands, words barely more than a whisper. 

“Well…said like that, it sounds-” 

“Ridiculous? Asinine? Reckless?” Shadowheart supplies passionately, and there’s a touch of heat to her whisper, now. 

“...Romantic?” Serena offers meekly. 

Shadowheart pauses, closing her eyes for a moment. 

She laughs. 

It’s soft and beautiful and oh-so exasperated, as if she doesn’t know what to do with Serena and all the affection she has to offer. 

“...Idiot.” Shadowheart whispers, but she heals Serena’s broken nose anyway, whispering her prayer as the energy seeps from her fingertips into Serena’s very being. 

When she opens her eyes, the fondest green gaze meets Serena’s own, and she fears she might stop breathing altogether. 

“Better?” Shadowheart asks softly, and the tip of her nose brushes Serena’s, inviting her to come just an inch closer. 

Serena closes her eyes when Shadowheart kisses her, so tender and sweet that she almost forgets about Clive, and the needle in her hand. 

Serena’s senses are assaulted with Shadowheart; her scent, the soft feel of her lips, the teasing tip of her tongue, the way her fingers find their way to the back of Serena’s neck, scratching softly there. 

Kissing Shadowheart is a religious experience; the only kind of which Serena has ever had, being without a deity as she is. When Shadowheart huffs softly, or whines, her heart stutters with affection. 

Here, close enough to see each freckle dappling Shadowheart’s nose, close enough to see the candlelight dance in her gaze, Serena sees a different person entirely; the one who yearns to break free from Shar’s wretched hold. 

Serena realizes she can never give up on Shadowheart; not just in matters of the heart, but as a friend, as a true and loyal companion, not when she is so close to the surface, yearning to breathe freely. 

When they part, Shadowheart’s eyes drop to the bear in Serena’s grasp, and she wears the ghost of a smile, reflected more in her eyes than her lips. 

“Doing a little healing of your own, are you?” She asks, her voice smooth like velvet, and Serena nods, her throat dry. “I didn’t know you could.” 

“There’s a great deal more about me that you don’t know.” Serena offers, not unkindly. “...I should hope.” 

Shadowheart accepts the challenge, tilting her head curiously as she watches Serena’s long fingers set back to work. 

“Where’d you learn?” 

“A noblewoman wields a needle in the same way a knight wields a blade.” Serena recites dutifully, with an eyeroll of her own, making it easy for Shadowheart to picture her as a disillusioned young noblewoman, with dreams of adventure. 

“Look at you.” Shadowheart drawls, almost as if mocking, but not quite. “Now you wield both. I’m surprised no one has taken you all for themselves.” 

“I had dreams beyond donning my would-be husband’s socks. I suppose that made me bad stock.” She laughs softly, and she is oblivious to the way Shadowheart smiles at the melodious sound. 

“Seems useful.” Shadowheart remarks, as Serena finishes attaching the ear with a little flourish. 

“It makes Karlach happy. Best use I’ve had for it, so far.” Serena smiles, gingerly setting the bear aside on the table outside her tent. 

They sit for a moment, knee-to-knee outside of Serena’s tent, brushing against each other slightly as they find support against one another. 

Serena sighs aloud, hoping against hope that, come tomorrow, Shadowheart will not withdraw back into herself, to Shar. 

Shadowheart, seemingly reading her thoughts, sighs aloud, too. “I’m…sorry, that I’ve been distant lately.” She offers, and it sounds so uncomfortable, Serena might believe she’s never apologized before in her life. “I’m not…accustomed to having companions at every turn.” 

“I know.” Serena offers calmly. “This is…more than any of us could have anticipated. You’re overwhelmed.” 

“That’s just it…” Shadowheart begins carefully, eyeing the mark on her hand as if she expects it to erupt into a painful flash of light at any given moment. “...It’s not everyone, Serena…it’s you.” 

Serena startles at the words, unsure of how to alleviate the doubt that she, evidently, is causing Shadowheart. 

“Me?” She whispers. 

“You overwhelm me.” Shadowheart finally grits out, as if it’s hard for her to say, physically. 

Serena’s heart falls into her gut. This isn’t at all what she wanted to hear. Hastily, she tries to give Shadowheart the space, the comfort that she needs. “I’m so sorry, I never meant to-” 

“Do not apologize- Listen.” Shadowheart presses, shaking her head as she takes Serena’s hand within her own. “I’ve…never had a confidant…a friend…like you. If I have, I can’t remember them.” She adds, her eyes sparkling with a sadness that makes Serena want to sob. “You’ve shown me that it’s possible…you’ve shown me that I might…not want…the same things I used to.” 

It’s vague, but it’s vulnerable, beautiful- it’s music to Serena’s ears. 

Shadowheart is reaching for her, desperately, the only way she knows how, despite the impending wrath of her own goddess. 

“That is why I’ve been…pulling away.” Shadowheart admits. “But…I don’t want to. I don’t even think I can, anymore. Whatever my Lady wills of me…I want to find room for us.” Shadowheart explains, almost frantically, and Serena can tell how taxing this is for her. “That is…if you’re still interested.” 

Serena laughs softly. 

There is no existence in which she will ever lose interest in the enigma that is Shadowheart; though it isn’t exactly what she wishes to hear, it’s far better than the alternative she’d assumed was taking place. 

“But…I have a condition.” Shadowheart begins, almost gravely, and Serena glances up at her with a most timid but curious glance. She holds up Serena’s thumb and presses her lips to the spot, healing it with barely a prayer. “Do not injure yourself to seek out my attention again.” She mumbles, pressing an additional peck to her thumb. “..There are other ways, I assure you.” 

“Noted, although I wish you’d told me that before Halsin had to carry me on his back for half a day.” Serena mumbles sheepishly, and Shadowheart cannot help but laugh at the beautiful, chivalrous idiot. 

“That was amusing.” Shadowheart grins. “Had you been hoping for me?”

Serena fixes her with an incredulous look that screams: really? 

“...All that aside…Thank you.” Shadowheart tilts her head softly, wide green eyes wet and sparkling in the candlelight, and Serena feels utter devotion beginning to take hold. “...For trying.” She adds in a gentle whisper. 

“...Always.” Serena’s smile, warm and genuine, makes Shadowheart’s very soul float up, weightless, basking in the sun of Serena’s affections. 

To be fair, no one has ever tried as much as Serena; no one has ever seen Shadowheart as a worthy cause for such immense effort, until now. 

…Even if her methods are utterly idiotic. 

[alllgator-blood]

Emotional support Leshy comfort doodle after some very shitty days:,> we all need some bush boy encouragement in our life.

Don’t forget to hydrate, have a snack and treat yourself!:D

HKDFSDFSAJHF YOU RETURNED SO SOON!

You picked literally the best time to send me encouraging leshy art because IIIIIIIIII am having a complete rollercoaster of emotions in my personal life. I have like a really cool vacation coming up but it's in the middle of my personal life falling apart so I'm very conflicted. BUT IF LESHY THINKS I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS, I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TRY

I drew shamura giving you their blessing because you said you weren't doing so great, I was actually gonna schedule my ask doodles for tomorrow before I go on my trip but I felt like this one should be answered tonight-

I tried to include the theme of arson in the picture because it made me laugh seeing a cute lil leshy enjoying committing crimes. I hope even if things have been shitty lately, you feel a little better knowing this random internet artist wants things to start looking up for you. I certainly felt better seeing your art pop up in my inbox again so I might as well pass it on!

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

Daniel Wiffen (hero of Ireland) telling the interviewer "I knew I was going to win" after he took the gold in the 800m freestyle, then coming out with his geeky glasses on and sobbing his way through the national anthem is so very James-coded.

[the-soulwhispers]

The fact that music exists, makes life bearably worth living.

[needlepokes]

how to write a diabetic character: CGM edition

is your diabetic character wearing a CGM? do they have to? CGMs these are Continous Glucose Monitors that can detect how much sugar is in your bloodstream.

How are they different than tradtional fingerprick (blood) tests? they take blood sugar readings 24/7, and provide you with how your sugars are doing at all times, rather than just at that moment. This leads to tremendously better control over blood sugar.

The way they work is that they can "sample" your blood sugar by testing your subcutaneous tissue for sugar levels then adjusting that value.

However, they're less accurate than a fingerprick (blood) reading and will often "lag" behind by about 15 minutes.

SO if you have a character who is expereincing low or high blood sugar - they'd get an alarm on their CGM, and then they might take a fingerprick reading to make sure. CGM false alarms DO exist and it can cause some very annoying situations.

A less careful/depressed/struggling/burnt out character might A. not care or "sleep through" alarms B. not double check with a finger prick C. not care that they're wearing a CGM - pump into stuff or just rip it off (although they are very expensive!).

can you mute them? yes, and a character might choose to do this while they're sleeping, having an exam, or if they know they're about to fuck up their blood sugar.

how long do they last? the libre ones last 14 days. the dexcom ones last up to 10 days.

can you shower with them? yes

can you swim with them? yes

can you have sex with them on? yes, and i've read very funny anecdotes from diabetics having to pause during sex because their cgm was beeping

are they expensive? yes! sometimes, they're covered by insurance, but not completely. If a character is in poverty, or do not have insurance, they likely would have to rely solely on fingerpricks.

Who usually uses CGMs? they are very widespread between T1Ds and are increasingly being used by T2Ds as well.

can you share the readings on multiple devices? yes! your character might share their info with their SO, parents, roommates, close friends...etc. It is genuienly one of the most telling signs of a close relationship between people - because those people will see your "mistakes" and decisions.

where do you stick them? the libre ones (circular ones) officially just go on the back of your arm. The dexcom ones can go on just about anywhere that's "soft" - stomach, thighs, back of arm, chest...etc.

does putting them on hurt? sometimes! the way they are installed involves a needle going into the skin then sitting in the subcutaneous tissue. This can sometimes cause some bleeding, and soreness for a few hours.

Often times the process is completely painless, but this is not the case for everyone. A thinner character might struggle to find a place "cushy" enough for a cgm.

can you put them on your own? yes the process is made for one person to stick it on, but i've seen some couples on instagram act all romantic and sappy about applying it together, so that should give you some ideas for your diabetic characters' budding romances ;)

Some CGMs are just naturally faulty, i'd say about 4 sensors is a busted one, and in that case you'll have to replace them - which most companies just do without any hassle.

do they work with insulin pumps? some insulin pumps can work in tangent with CGMs and provide feedback for the user to automatically generate the correct doses of insulin, depending on their current blood sugar.

do they come off easily? depends on who you're asking. some people swear up and down that they never last and have to put on patches, which are admittedly very cute. Weather, clothing, and how clumsy a character is all factor in this. For me personally i just put them on raw and keep them together by sheer willpower.

CGMs can cause anxiety in diabetics. The constant flow of information can easily burnout people, and this can possibly be the case for any diabetic character you might write. Seeing arrows going down or up can be very distressing, especially knowing how painful some of the consequences are. I personally take breaks for both myself and my wallet from using CGMs to avoid burn out.

nonetheless, CGMs are WONDERFUL pieces of technology that have personally made me much happier as a diabetic, freer and a lot more independent.

does your character want their CGM to show? lots of people, including myself don't like revealing their CGMs - but your character might like showing them off!

and lastly - my favorite thing about CGMs - taking them off and having a "naked" shower once a month where i dont have to worry about it coming off. - They look like this:

[kiruamon]

Don't wake me up - AU Introduction

Cooking up another au idea. So first take these sketches and my info dump will follow further below. Also this feels like one of my more darker aus when I look at the amount of angst involved.

Sun

Moon

Y/N

Soooo... I was thinking of an au with dreams as a theme. Sun and Moon being an entity or guardian of dreams. While Sun stands for the good dreams Moon is in care of nightmares.

And into this setting I decided to throw a Y/N who has only very recently gone blind. They had always loved to create art. So to suddenly being unable to see was shattering their whole world. What's making it worse is that they always had been very independent and pride of what they achieved soley on their own. The thought to be dependent of others was something they never had liked.

But now even in their own home they don't feel any longer in control or autonomous. It's a struggle to navigate around. Bumping into furniture. Memorizing the distance from the bed to the door. Not knocking anything from the desk by accident or crawling under it if it does happen and feeling around for their keys without being able to use their vision to find them. It's frustrating and makes them feel like a stranger in their own place that should usually feel safe and familiar. But now it's all: Where did I put my phone? Was the grater in the drawer under the silverware or left from it? Did I grabbed a spoon or a fork? Which of my sweaters am I holding right now? Hopefully not the ugly christmas sweater I got four years ago? Does the shirt even match the rest or are the colors clashing with each other? Everything feels slowed down and like a big pain since things are still so fresh. Even worse that they have to let a stranger into their life to help them out that is supposed to teach them how to slowly cope with their new situation. It doesn't matter much to Y/N that said caretaker isn't human. They want their vision back so badly. And if that's not possible just to be left alone. Feeling overly emotional over the smallest things and then quickly burnt out. Every little thing is just too much. Being so stressed out and all... their only safe place for them is their dreams. It's where they feel the most normality and comfort. To sleep and to dream means for them to be free. To enjoy the colors and shapes of their dream environmental without any restricts that hold them back.

And that's where they meet Sun during one of their dreams. Not thinking too much of the strange encounter at the start. After all, it's just a dream. There could be much weirder things as a tall animatronic that claims himself to be a dream guardian. It's just odd how often they start to met since their first encounter. But Sun's nice. A very friendly and jolly fellow with an optimistic personallity that's kind of delightful. And Y/N finds himself quickly warming up to their new dream friend. Strolling through the dream realm with Sun and having some silly fun adventures without Y/N needing to worry that they could run into something by accident like in reality. But with time passing by Sun is starting to ask questions about Y/N. Questions that feel like hitting to close to home to them. That they don't want to answer. That they do not want to think about. After all they are hiding into their dreams to escape reality. Not to face their problems. Sun means well, but when he starts prying with his questions Y/N gets defensive and at some point snaps at him. And with the negative emotions flowing over their dream starts to shift. Bringing up more of their hidden fears and tinting it to become more of a nightmare.

Y/N finding themself suddenly alone in an eery nightmarish place. Full of dulled and muddled colors. Their surroundings looking close to a multi layer paper cutout full of symbols that represent their fears and worries which they had tried to desperately deny. The place gives them the shivers. Their shouting out for Sun. But he doesn't seem to be anywhere anymore. So they start running. Searching for him just to fall into a pitch-black pit that feels like it grows deeper and deeper with every second they are into it. Heart rate is going through the roof and panic is spiking up. That's when someone pulls them out. But before they can have a look at them the person they wake up from their nightmare. Next time when Y/N is back to sleep Sun is immediately there and telling them how worried he had been about them. Taking them in their arms and apologizing over and over for upsetting them. At the question where he had disappeared to last time he tells Y/N that he had been looking for them as soon as the dream had been shifting. Aside from that he seems a bit reluctant to tell them more about it. But from that day on Y/N finds themself a bit more often faced with nightmares and feeling as if someone was watching them during those times. Which turns out to be true as he spots a hooded figure at the edge of his vision a few times before finally being able to confront them. Feeling already unsettled and in fight or flight mode Y/N settles for the first option when catching Moon sneaking around them once more. Unbeknownst to them that Moon and Sun are practically one and the same entity. Just that Moon is in charge of their body in the realm of nightmares and Sun in the realm of good dreams.

Moon is more annoyed with Y/N's defensive and stubborn attitude as Sun is. But it might also not help that Moon himself is very tight-lipped instead of trying to explain things. So the two aren't off with the best start. And Sun has some explaining to do when he and Y/N meet the next time. Despite this rough start with Moon Y/N will find out that the more grumpy dream guardian is staying close to them whenever they find themself back in a nightmare instead of hiding like before. Giving them a bit closure with their presence and words and helping them to guide them slowly out of their nightmares back into more peaceful dreams where Sun will take over again.

As things progress there comes a time where Y/N will hardly want to get out of bed anymore. Just wanting to sleep. To go back into this world of dreams where they feel free instead of struggling all day without knowing what for. They are at a rough place. And they find themself wishing to stay longer and longer in their dreams with Sun and Moon. The world where they feel whole.

Of course Sun and Moon notice what is going on. The dreams after all depict the things that are going subconsciously and consciously on in Y/N's mind. It's hard for them if the two bring up their blindness. Or that they have to wake up instead of keep dreamig on forever. To start to live their life again. It's a messy time for them all and a lot of ups and downs. But with those confrontations and growing closer to the two guardians Y/N finds themself also becoming more vulnerable and slowly opening up to them. Admitting that they are scared. That they feel useless and like having lost so many things. Not knowing what to do. It takes a lot of time, patience and comfort from Sun and Moon as well as some firm words to slowly convince Y/N to start working on their fears in the real world. Y/N's dreams during this time are very unstable and easily shifting often between good and nightmarish during the course of one night. But they are slowly trying to work things out.

It takes a lot of them to ask the animatronic that had been assigned to take care of them for help. Not only because Y/N feels pretty shitty for having lashed out verbally in the past for a bunch of minor little things that had got them riled up during this time, but also because it's still hard for them to rely on someone this much. But all their conversations with Sun and Moon have teached them that's okay to ask for help. And so they do. Slowly finding their way back into life. Learning how to cope with their blindness. What tools to use to navigate better through their daily life. Learning that's okay to be vulnerable. It's a little surprise to Y/N when they find out that the name of their caretaker is Eclipse. A very patience and kindhearted animatronic. The round head plate with the triangular rays feels all so familiar under their fingers when he allows them to run their hands over them. Eclipse is the one helping Y/N out in their daily life. Cooking together and giving them all kinds of tips and tricks. Guiding them with his directions and gentle voice. He even brings up things like tactile art, sculpting and other things Y/N hadn't thought of before since they had believed they would have to give up on art completely. But slowly there is new hope found. And with each little achievement Y/N will find themself more independent over time. Finding joy in creation again and even some new things. While they always had liked music they also find a new interest in audiobooks. Even though they enjoy it even more when Eclipse will read for them while they sit together on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate in their hands and leant against him. Since Y/N grows more and more fond towards Eclipse to a point where they even found their more cheerful side back. It comes as a shock when Eclipse is telling them someday that he will soon quit his job as their caretaker. Since he feels that Y/N has grown independent enough again for not needing a full-time caretaker anymore. It leaves a bitter taste for Y/N as they had started to grow so used to having the other around and now feeling as if losing Eclipse again. Questioning the fact if they even had been friends or if they had been just another job for him. But at the same moment they start having those insecure thoughts they feel guilty about them. After all Eclipse had done so, so much for them and they don't want to taint their last time with him with acting like an upset or ungrateful child. So Y/N decides to just tell Eclipse how thankful they feel for everything he has done for them and that they wish him the best. Just for Eclipse to chuckle softly and telling them that he doesn't intend to make this their last meeting. He swiftly explains to Y/N that he only wants to quit the job in order to be able to be their friend without it feeling like he is paid to be nice to them.

Aaaalso some side notes to Sun and Moon. While they are like a dream entity or like I call them the guardians of dream it's not like they can do whatever they want in the dream realm. Besides their transformation they can not just wave their hand and change what happens in a dream. Their influence on the dreams is more subtle and depending if they are able to calm down the dreamer. So it's more like their interactions and words with the dreamer will affect the dreamers thoughts and subconcious and that will influence the dream. So if Sun for an example senses Y/N getting upset he will most of the time swiftly change topics and trying to use distraction as a method to keep the dream nice and peaceful. Asking about things Y/N likes and that feel safe to adress. Since Moon is just there when the dreamer is already in a nightmare his method is more about showing support. Staying close to them as some form of protection. He will take Y/N's hand or later on take them in his arms. Brushing over his back and keep talking with them in a calm voice. Letting them vent about their fears while giving some guidance if needed.

So it's all more about their skills in interacting and subtle manipulation via words (in a more healthy way) as having some magical superpowers.

Ooookay, that was a lot. And I hope it's not too confusing to follow my line of thoughts. There will be a second post entry that focuses more on some sketches that I did for this au and that will show some of the things mentioned here.

[justmerelyme207]

Ongoing Investigations of Success

When you think of the word “successful,” who’s the first person that comes to mind and why? “When you think of the word successful who’s the first person that comes to mind and why?”-Wordpress Prompt 10/17/24 Every single day you wake up & start doing whatever it is you have to do; that’s being successful. I mean it. No matter what you’re doing. Don’t get any ideas…