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anotherhumaninthisworld · 2 months ago

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Camille’s long and uphill battle to get Lucile

Monsieur, I am not mistaken and I am forced to agree that your letter is worthy of a father and full of wisdom. The first moments of pain that I experienced were followed by the calm of reason, and I take advantage of this calm to allow myself a few observations regarding your letter and putting them before your eyes.

Don't let my probity scare you. The reflections that M. Duplessis made me make on your [sic] uncertain state. My uncertain state is not uncertain. I am a lawyer in the parliament of Paris and what makes your state certain in this profession is not to be on the board, but talent and work. I am certain morally of being in charge of all the appeals of the sentences of Guise, which alone will compose for me an honest cabinet and an income of 7 or 8,000 livres at least; I cannot believe that there exists anyone who, after having read the memoir that is printed about me at this moment, tells you that my condition is uncertain. The letters I have from MM. Lorget and Linguet would prove to you, if you read them, that my condition is not uncertain. Already I have a flow of business which can only grow and I will have won a hundred louis this year, supposing that I lose the lawsuit which is about to be judged and whose gain would be worth more than two thousand écus to me.

On future events which may call me back to the provinces. I took a vow to stability in the bar of the capital, this vow is expressed clearly in the epistle and the printed memorandum which I gave to you. There exists only one thing that could make me detach from Paris and make a stay in the provinces bearable, it would be if I met Mlle Duplessis there, to what oaths must I bind myself in order to take away this fear that I will leave Paris? I see very well that you do not know how much I love your daughter, since you suppose that I would be able to sadden her by taking her away from a father to whom she is so tenderly dear.

On the impossibility for me to have a house where your daughter, like at your place, could find the softnesses and charms of life. There is something touching about this paternal fear that would have made me reproach myself for my premature research. But did you believe that Mlle Duplessis is less dear to me than to you and that I wanted a happiness that would have cost her the sacrifice of the comforts of life? As for me, the sweetness and pleasures of life would have been to live with her and with you, and these pleasures would have made all the others insipid to me. There are two things here that I cannot believe, first off the fact that this fear so natural to a father that his daughter would be less happy did not alarm you from the first moment you found out about my goal; second off, that your answer here would have been the one I had the pleasure of seeing. If you had thought that Mademoiselle Duplessis' change of lodging would deprive her of the pleasures of life, it would not have been with me that she could find those pleasures. I had not concealed my lack of fortune, nor sought to surprise your avowal by magnifying my hopes, in order to have the satisfaction of showing you that I had brought into this affair all the frankness and delicacy which befits my profession; I almost decried my father's fortune and succeeded so well that you then said to me: ”With the help of your fortune, I could wait until some brilliant affair had rescued me from obscurity.” You said this to me in much stronger terms, for your expressions were that, no longer being forced to run after an écu, I could devote myself without distraction to studies which would later make me known later as a jurisconsult, if the embarrassment of my stammer was an insurmountable obstacle which prevented me from succeeding in my pleading. It is clear that you did not flatter yourself then that I could put together a home for Mlle Duplessis. However, this beloved child was still not less dear to you at the moment and you surely didn’t think that she would lose the comforts of life, but you understood that there was a way to arrange it so that she would not have to make any sacrifice until the time which is not far off, when my condition would bring me 10 to 12 thousand livres. Did Mlle. Duplessis need a house other than yours for a few years? I would even have liked her to continue to live together with you, and for the change in her adress, while at the same time making me the happiest of all men, only to have added to the sweetnesses of life without it costing her any deprivation. Although the dowry I propose to give her is of a certain consistency, you may remember that when you mentioned this section, I kept silent. Surely, to wait until my estate was enough I did not need to find a dowry. At the present moment, I am able to count only on 3 or 4 thousand livres that I would get this year from my work or from my father. But wouldn’t these 4 thousand livres, joined to the 3 or 4 that you would give to mademoiselle your daughter, be enough for a house worthy of her? Of you I wouldn’t ask for anything more. She would have brought a thousand amiable qualities into the household; as for me, I would have put my estate there and I dare say some talents. It would have been a marriage without a dowry like that of the laborers, but those of that time are well worth those of ours. I never made mine a business, the only dowry I would have asked for was that one loves me, not as much as I do (in return), that is impossible, but I am sure that mademoiselle your daughter would have been touched to see me solely occupied with the care of paying her the debt of happiness that I would have contracted.

You urged me to overcome my affection. If it were only an affection, it could be overcome, but the wound is deeper. Remember, monsieur, in what dejection I appeared before you, my state had become so violent that whatever you might have said to me, it was impossible for my pain to wring my heart more on leaving your house compared to what fear had caused it upon entering. That is why, even though it cost me, I begged you to tear off the blindfold and uproot my hope. But how much you have decreased it instead. I only asked for a distant hope and you gave me a near hope. Fortune, you told me, would not determine your choice and you did not make happiness consist of fortune. I exercised an honorable profession that it was not even necessary to fulfill with a certain brilliance in order to appear to you worthy of belonging to you; it was enough for you that your daughter was loved tenderly and constantly and that second to her your son-in-law loved only work. Who would have believed in my place that this son-in-law was really me. You did more: you invited me to spend holidays and Sundays at your countryhouse and you allowed me, you even warned me to let my father know about this interview. At this moment my father has probably written to you and part of my joy was to think about he who does not care about the dowry (that of my mother, who is still whole despite our misfortunes because it has always been sacred in his eyes, was more important) but who loves me with tenderness and is no doubt delighted that I have finally obtained this demoiselle Duplessis of whom I have been speaking to him incessantly for five years and whom he wanted me to show him when he spent a few days in Paris two years ago. In my letter from March 22, it was no longer vain conjectures and equivocal walks in the Luxembourg that I entertained, it was speeches that a father of a family had given me, hadn't I had to base myself entirely on his answer?

It would be deceiving my honesty to make any promises to me at this time, considering the young age of your daughter. If you only wish to postpone the term of my happiness, I have already waited five years, and I can still wait another two and even more, but since I above all make happiness consist in this thought that we love each other for life, I only beg you to tell me if after two years and when my heart has perhaps been consumed by these attachments, I will not have to renounce the sweet habit of loving her. My age was no more advanced four days ago when you gave me such imminent hopes. Also this reason that you bring is not the real one and you yourself do not disguise it from me. An even more essential point to observe to you, is that it for me would be putting up a barrier against the parties which within two years could present themselves and to make you give yourself up to opportunities which fulfill your views. Besides, did I ask for Mlle Duplessis right away? I only asked if one day, when my position would be fully complete, I could receive her hand. As for what concerns me in this article, what occasion, what views can you tell me about? What purpose can I have but to be happy, and I can only be so, monsieur, with you. Where can I find another family that I love so much? I have gone too far with mademoiselle Duplessis to ever retrace my steps, and if you come to take away from me the hope that you have made me conceive, you will have unwittingly caused the misfortune of my life. I come to the great reason, that it would be to put up a barrier against the parties which could present themselves within two years. If, when you did me the honor of granting me an interview, you had said that to me, everything would have been very clear and I would have had nothing to respond to. But, since then, you declared to me that fortune would not decide your choice for mademoiselle your daughter, and that you would seek for her only a husband who would love her with tenderness; so you mean that in two years from now there may come people who like her better than me. If so, let it be. All of them will undoubtedly love her positively, but to love her more desperately than me will be difficult. And I will always have been five years ahead.

You told me enough that you had not changed your mind in regards to me, and that, if I succeeded in destroying the motives that you were good enough to explain to me in detail, you would return to your first feelings. It seems to me that I have replied in a satisfactory manner to the objections of M. Duplessis; I therefore conjure you to come back to your first favorable dispositions and return for me the heart of a father. I would very much like you and Madame Duplessis to grant me an interview. I would remove all of your doubts, and I would come down to details that cannot enter into a letter: do not push me away from your bosom but allow me to give you both names to which my heart would refuse if I had to give them to others. It is with these feelings that I have the honor to be, monsieur, your very humble and very obedient servant. Desmoulins Lawyer in parliament. Letter from Camille to Lucile’s father, March 1787

Madame, It is now that I have lost all hope: but what do I risk by writing to you so that a reply from you yourself will completely disperse it. I returned to Paris a bit less discouraged than I had left it, because the prize of the case that I had won last year, the many bags of lawsuits that I brought back, the ostensible proofs of public confidence, and even more the union of his province to which my father had been named all with one voice, and which gave him the greatest credit, had raised my hopes. I got tasked, among other things, with the biggest criminal affair that there was in the Parliament of Paris at the moment. All of this having either reestablished the inequality of my fortune or compensated for it by public consideration, I had fallen back on my dreams of happiness. But the carriage that you took has destroyed all of my illusions. I sense that the daughter can’t walk on foot when her mother rides in a carriage. My present fortune lines up with the advantages that Mr. Duplessis had told me he would give to mademoiselle, but the luxury of a carriage is beyond my strength. Judge if the noise of this carriage pleases me, when it warns me that you are driving your daughter into the world where she is going to find so many admirers. Thus will all my dreams vanish. Do I dare, however, Madame, to remind you of what you told me, that you would put no ambition in the choice of son-in-law, and that my profession seemed to you quite honest and quite noble. This is what inspired me with some confidence. Must you today take away from me a hope so dear to the attachment that I have nurtured for so many years to come out of my heart with hope! But this is impossible. After you made me the honour of telling me your views on the position you intended for Mademoiselle Duplessis, I admit that I flattered myself that all that I lacked was her consent, that she would be touched by a pursuit so constant and filled with so much trouble, and that I’d obtain some payback from her compassion, if I could not expect it from another feeling. How many times I have consoled myself over my sorrows with the thought that there is no affection more tender and lasting than the one born from compassion. If there is something humiliating for self-esteem in owing one's happiness only to this feeling, I was on the other sure of soon inspiring true tenderness in Mademoiselle your daughter by my feelings, and of ennobling myself in her eyes by the dignity of my whole life. I beg you, Madame, do not read this letter to your husband, with whom I would still pass for a madman, it is to you that I am writing it, to you who never send back my letters and whom I I have never left, without leaving your presence, if not full of contentment, at least full of patience. Shall I not have the pleasure of conversing with you at least sometimes? I apologize if I have made this letter too long, but tired of other people's affairs, it is natural that I should fall back on my own, which I have managed so badly, and in these first moments of me leaving my family, I have difficulty accustoming myself to solitude, which the multiplicity of my affairs and my lack of knowledge make a necessity for me. I found verses printed and maimed in provincial notices which I had addressed to you; I take the liberty of sending them to you and of renewing my homage to you. Will you do nothing for your poet? I have the honour to be, with the deepest respect, Madame, Your very humble and very obedient servant, Desmoulins Camille to Lucile’s mother, December 5 1787

Madame, I am sending you the consultation of M. Fournel regarding the case of the priest of Bourg, for which I have just completed the supporting memorandum. Some considerations are delaying its publication until Easter. The judges of Laon, who were afraid of it, have just written to the attorney general and the first president of the court, to try to obtain the removal of what concerns them from my memorandum. I cannot take enough precautions to avoid compromising myself and risking the loss of my position, which has become very precious to me since the speech you were kind enough to give me in Luxembourg. Once you have read my memorandum, and compared it with the feeble consultation of Me Fournel who nevertheless enjoys such a great reputation, I dare to imagine, Madame, that you will forgive me for having also hoped for some consideration; and that you will forgive me for having nourished another much more cherished hope, remembering that M. Duplessis, a year before yesterday, did not even demand that I should become a famous lawyer in order to obtain Mademoiselle Duplessis. Now this hope is weakening every day, I see that everyone has the same eyes for your daughter as I do, it seems to that in every moment someone comes to ask for her hand. I am waiting for my justificatory memorandum which will finally fix my fate and make access to you either open or closed forever. The encouragement that has sustained me most in this work to which I have sacrificed all my business has been the hope of presenting it to you. Is it possible, Madame, that when the image of happiness that I find with you detaches me from all other societies and makes them bland and unbearable, you never tire of pushing me away from yours, which would take the place of the whole universe? I have the honour to be, with the deepest respect, Madame, Your very humble and very obedient servant, Desmoulins Camille to Lucile’s mother, March 4 1788

Madame, What harm have I then done to you for you to treat me so harshly? And how could a letter that I wrote only with the purpose of persuading you offend you and draw such a bitter response from me? I don't want it to be your fault if I conceived a mad passion, but don't we owe anything to those who are made to suffer even without our fault? Couldn’t you have made me understand in a less mortifying way that there was madness in my pursuit, that the disproportion of fortune (something which I wasn’t aware of until yesterday) was an insurmountable obstacle? You seemed unhappy with me, and I couldn’t be unhappy with you. On the contrary, I would have thanked you for the care you took in preventing a disastrous passion, I would have thought myself treated well. Because you know better than anyone that it takes very little to make me believe it. Sometimes you have really put my self-esteem to severe trials! One does not die of spite, if so I would have already have died a thousand times. But all it would take is a glance, half a smile, to bring me back. Even today, at this moment, all my self-love is incurable! I am trying to reconcile the harshness of what you have just written to me, with the very different speech that you gave me, and I am trying to interpret it favorably. It seems to me that the remedy you employ is either too violent or too little. It's up to you to make yourself lovable anywhere other than at my place. Is it just a defence? Or is it not also a permission? Forbidden to make myself friendly in your eyes at your place, permission to make myself friendly, if possible, in the Luxembourg. This is what it means to be a lawyer. We pick at everything, and instead of a woman of wit explaining her thoughts in two words, we always write, which eads me to believe that your answer does not entail a banishment for life, that was what you had the pleasure of repeating for me in the Luxembourg, not at the moment, and besides, it's still a letter that I received from you, which is something. You see Madame that I am laughing and crying at the same time. Thank you, one more word from you. Or, treat me so harshly that you force me to hate you and even your demoiselles; or, if your feelings have not changed since the conversation I had the honor of obtaining from you in the Luxembourg, refuse me permission to come to your house now, so as to give me the hope of one day obtaining it. I have the honour to be, with the deepest respect, Madame, Your very humble and very obedient servant, Desmoulins Camille to Lucile’s mother, March 16 1788

[…] Oh, I would like to see Melkam! How curious I would be to hear him speak, how he would teach me things! Always the same thought comes to besiege me, it’s a very singular thing… Tell me, are you thinking about me or are you forgetting me? Ever since… every day I don’t miss it… is carved into it… I’ll never call it anything else. It is to him that I have consecrated it, he will take my place. […] Lucile in her diary, July 21 1788

I always continued to chase the same hare, the mother lured me into the house, the father promised me his daughter, gave me his word of honour; the girl made me think she wanted me; a few days later came a terrible storm which threw me far from the door, farther than ever. […] I could not imagine that by courting the girl I had pleased the mother, and that she wanted to take a chance on me; I could not trust the rascal of a servant who went home to me to invite me to take lodgings in the apartment next to theirs, who said that the girl was flirtatious, that it was was the mother who liked me, that I would succeed. Today the scales have fallen from my eyes; but then I thought they wanted to test me, a new promise to give her to me, a new rupture. Camille in a letter to his college comrade Pierre Jean André Grasset, October 27 1788, cited in Camille et Lucile Desmoulins: un rêve de république (2018).

One day, MC was thinking about his portrait; he says to Maman: ”I would like to have a great reputation, do you know why? It's not for the glory, but to be free to do what I want. Then I wouldn't look ridiculous." "It's true, Maman told him, because one passes a lot of faults onto a great man." Lucile in her diary, 1789

Madame, If you knew what a trap was set for me, you would have had compassion for me. I see well that I am no luckier when it comes to friendships than I am when it comes to love. It is not so that I for a moment have given credence to the slander. It is thus, I said to myself, that I was slandered to Madame Duplessis, it is due to these artifices that I was barred from entering their house... However, I was only asked to suspend my judgment, I was to have some clarification this morning for which I would be grateful. I went to look for it and saw only a gross conspiracy against my happiness. I don't know who to trust in the world anymore. Madame, you have sometimes shown interest in me, have pity on my situation; I no longer dare to come to your house, three times I have been refused entry, but deign to give me a moment's interview to unravel this riddle for you, and don't think that I could ever believe that Mademoiselle Lucile and M. Duplessis deceived me so cruelly. Virtue and sensibility have a physiognomy that art does not counterfeit. I distrust all men now, but something tells me that my trust would not be betrayed if I place it in you without reserve. I have the honour to be, with the deepest respect, Madame, Your very humble and very obedient servant, Desmoulins PS — last Tuesday, you sent me back full of joy. I wrote my issue in 12 hours, but the pains are in proportion to the pleasures, and you have given me so much grief for eight days that I have not been able to write a single line; it is you who would have given me genius if you had wanted to. This issue, which belonged to you, since it was thanks to you I had it written in such a short time, you were cruel enough to send it back to me without wanting to read it. Madame, I’m writing this letter for you alone, if it is imprudent, don’t show it to anyone else, I beg you. Camille to Lucile’s mother, April 14 1790.

Madame, I have the honour of letting you know MM. De Mirabeau and Emmery are coming over next Sunday in the afternoon to see the obelisk at Bourg-la-Reine. I had not dreamed of Madame Duplessis coming to Paris today and I had sent away the wigmaker of whom I have no use when you’re at Bourg-la-Reine, which makes me dry with impatience at this moment when I wait for him in order to go and place myself at your feet and recommend myself to your all-powerful intercession. I have to honour to be, with all the feelings that you inspire in me, Madame, Your very humble and very obedient servant Camille Desmoulins. Camille to Lucile’s mother, April 28 1790.

Madame, Here is the letter from Mirabeau that I found at my house, as I expected. He came over with it himself according to the doorman, and you will recognize his handwriting. Did you notice how Mademoiselle Lucile sent me away cruelly yesterday? But one must always admire her more and more and she must be allowed to have a little pride. I really hope that now at least, I have no more new talents to discover in her, if she has any that I still don't know about, please hide them from me. I kiss your hands; as for Mademoiselle Lucile, there is no way to kiss hers even with gloves on. Regardless, Madame, you are so much loved. What hurt you yesterday has hurt your celestial Lucile so much that if you wanted to take my interests to heart, I would hope for everything. Forget what she forbade you. As for me, I see well that I would never touch her, even if I addressed such beautiful prayers to her as the one she made to God. Camille to Annette Duplessis, May 10 1790.

It is now, O Lucile, that I truly find myself to be pitied. Up until now I had blamed fortune, and it could come, I had blamed your parents and they could, when they saw me have a status and a reputation, stop distancing me from you. But now that I am allowed to see you, the hope of being happy has vanished forever. I see too clearly, O Lucile, that your heart cannot approach mine. Your face, as if of its own accord, continually turns away from me. In vain my pain, a constancy of 7 years and my tears are before your eyes. I am not lovable enough, I do not want so many charms and qualities. The sadness that I feel near you at not being able to please, combined with my usual melancholy, makes my company tiring for you. All the conversations I hear seem so cold, so indifferent to me that I cannot take any part in them. In spite of the boredom of my company, touched perhaps by my tender attachment, you make an effort on yourself, and instead of retiring to your books, and to this work that you love so much, you prolong for me the pleasure of enjoying your sight, I thank you for that, beautiful Lucile, I thank you for this kindness. But this pleasure of seeing you is cruelly poisoned by this thought that I will never succeed in pleasing you. I see too well that my presence is for you, oh beautiful Lucile, neither that of a lover, nor that of a husband, nor even that of a friend. No matter how much I question your heart with my gaze, it does not respond. Your eyes never turn towards your unfortunate lover. After 7 years of such tender love, I find the opportunity to present my hand to you for a moment, and you have the harshness to refuse me, to tell me that I will never obtain this hand so ardently desired. Rather than offering me a seat in your carriage, today you would rather have seen me die of fatigue following you. It’s done, I no longer hope to find the way to your heart, no, this charming Lucile will never love me, she will never be my Lucile. How little do they know you, those who congratulate you and who envy you. O unfortunate Desmoulins. If you had placed your happiness in riches, in dignities, in glory and you had been unable to achieve it, only you and your madness would have to be blamed for your ills. But to have placed it in the possession of Lucile's heart, when her mother responded to me from this heart 5 years ago, when she had emboldened me to ask her daughter in marriage, when her father had approved of me, when he had deceived me so cruelly about his daughter's emerging inclination, when they closed my heart to all affection, to all other happiness, after 7 years of constancy, to see that one displeases, that one shall never obtain this promised happiness, this happiness placed in nature. This is what tears me apart, but I would rather be unhappy alone than try to get you through importunity, extract half-consent and make you unhappy with me. I want to get used to the thought that she will never be mine, that she will never put her hand in mine, that I will not rest on Lucile's breast, that I will not press her against my heart. Retire into solitude, O unhappy Camille, go and cry for the rest of your life, forget if possible about her singing, and her loud piano, and her graces, and her wit and her beauty, and her walks and her window, and her writings, and so many qualities of which you were no less sure for having only guessed at them. Camille in an undated letter to Lucile from 1790, cited on page 55-56 of Journal 1788-1793: Lucile Desmoulins ; texte établi et présenté par Philippe Lejeune (1995)

You told me, O Lucile, that I would waste my time loving you. Well! I resign myself to my misfortune, I renounce the hope of possessing you. My tears flow abundantly. But you won't stop me from loving you. May others have the pleasure of seeing you, of hearing you. Those people were loved… from heaven. As for me, I must not be in its anger. O Gods! Loving a Demoiselle with… Camille in an undated letter to Lucile most likely from 1790, cited on page 57 of Journal 1788-1793: Lucile Desmoulins ; texte établi et présenté par Philippe Lejeune (1995)

O you who are at the bottom of my heart, you who I dare not to love, or rather who I dare not say that I love, dear C…, you believe me to be insensitive!… Ah cruel!… Do you judge me according to your heart, and could this heart attach itself to an insensitive being? Well yes, I prefer to suffer, I prefer that you forget me... O God, judge of my courage... Which one of us has the most to suffer? I dare not admit it to myself, what I feel for you! I only occupy myself with disguising it... You suffer, you say... Ah, I suffer more! Your image is constantly present in my thoughts, it never leaves me... I look for your faults, I find them, these faults, and love them... Tell me why then all these fights... Why would I have to make it a mystery even to my mother? I would like her to know it, to guess it, but I would not like to tell her... O sublime thought! To think, yes, it is a blessing from heaven... C, I tremble to form only the first letter of your name... If someone were to find what I write! If you would find it yourself... Love... Ah, C... shall I be your wife? Will we be united one day? Alas, perhaps as I form these wishes, you forget me... Oh, pain! You, forgetting me... at this cruel thought my tears wet my paper, my eyes are troubled, I barely make out what I'm writing... That a tender soul has to suffer... Yes, don't know that I love you , go, flee, C, go seek happiness near another… I will live far from you, I will learn one day that a link… Ah, would this link make you happy? Should you be so far from me?… I will have no reproach to make of you… it is I who am cruel towards me… You are going to make me cherish solitude even more… Your name that I have carved into the corner of a tree, your name that only I can see... I call it the tree of mystery... Alas, very often I hold it in my arms, and when the wind shakes it, it seems to me that it’s you who breathe... It's in my garden that I write, sitting on the ground at the foot of my lawn, leaning my elbow, leaning my body, I'm alone... Drops of water fall, a ray of sunshine pierces the foliage… Maman went to Paris, maybe you're with her. But is it really true that you love me? You love me... you love Lucile... well if you love me, run away from me! I am a monster…I have everything xxxx… I can no longer think, I am annihilated……… I fall into daydreams in spite of myself… Oh, what is the human heart? What then am I? Me... you... and everyone... Why do I exist? These clouds that pass over my head, who makes them pass? C, why this stubbornness to hide the fact that I love you? Will you come back again... will I be able to run away from you wishing to be near you?... Will I still see you looking for my thought in my eyes, sometimes thinking I guess it, alarming you with a word that you have misinterpreted, will I still hear you complaining to Maman about my indifference? What will be the end of all this? What will become of both of us? Alas, maybe separated forever, we will mourn our fate in silence… We will remind each other, and we will say “It is together that we should be happy”. Time will pass like this, death will overtake us, we die……..and in this cruel moment that we… This thought tears me apart! Oh, come, come and put a veil on the future! Lucile in her diary, July 16 1790

Today, December 11, I finally see myself at the fulfillment of my wishes. Happiness for me has been a long time coming, but finally it has arrived, and I am as happy as one can be on this earth. This charming Lucile, whom I have talked to you so much about, whom I have loved for the past eight years, at last her parents give her to me and she does not refuse me. Her mother just came to tell me the news, crying of joy. The inegality of fortune, M. Duplessis having 20 000 francs a year, had up until now held back my happiness. The father was dazzled by the offers made to him. He dismissed a suitor who came with 100 000 francs. Lucile, who had already refused 25 000 francs a year, had no trouble giving him her permission. You are going to know her by this single trait. When her mother told me a moment ago, she brought me to her room; I threw myself before Lucile’s knees; surprised at hearing her laugh I open my eyes, hers were in no better state than mine, she was all in tears, she was even crying profusely and yet she was still laughing. I have never seen such a delightful spectacle, and I would not have imagined that nature and sensibility could unite these two contrasts to such an extent. Her father told me that he no longer opposed us marrying because he wanted to give me the 100 000 francs that he promised his daughter beforehand, and that I could go with him to the notary whenever I wanted. I responded: You are a capitalist, you have moved cash around your entire life, I won’t interfere in the contract and that much money is going to embarrass me. You love your daughter too much for me to stipulate her. You’re asking nothing of me, so make the contract however you want it. He also gave me half of his silverware, which amounts to 10 000 francs. Please, don’t make too much noise about this. Let us be modest in prosperity. Send me your consent and that of my mother post by post; be diligent in Laon for dispensations and let there be only one publication of banns in Guise as in Paris. We can get married in eight days. My dear Lucile longs as much as I do that we may no longer be separated. Do not arouse the hatred of our envious people with this news, and like me, keep your joy within your heart, or at most pour it out in the bosom of my dear mother, my brothers and sisters. I am now in a position to come to your aid, and that is a great part of my joy: my mistress, my wife, your daughter and her entire family embrace you. Camille to his father, December 11 1790

#camille desmoulins #lucile desmoulins #desmoulins #frev #long post #i don’t think the term ”made for each other” can ever be applied to another couple after this #biggest drama queens… i mean patriots and lovestruck fools EVER #also what did lucile tell her mother that camille told her to just forget 😐😐#annette duplessis

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feyhunter78 · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter Five - A tourney is held to celebrate Lord Stark's appointment to the small council, and your sworn sword is taking part.

Ch 6

The journey home from Winterfell was long, the journey there had been long, but now you were able to return to your chambers. To lay in your bed, to shed your fur lined cloaks and return to the light, airy fabrics you much preferred.

The Keep is a flurry of movement, arrangements for new small council members and meetings, noblemen switching out their sons and daughter within the Keep, new servants and merchants arriving.

You attend your lessons with Sansa now, she is slightly behind you, being younger, but she is a quick study. Myrcella enjoys having her in lessons as well, and the three of you quickly become close. The three of you spend time in the godswood, picnicking and gossiping, filling Sansa in on all the rumors that swirl around the Red Keep.

It is one such occasion that you first hear it. “I have heard tale that my Uncle Renley prefers the company of men.” Myrcella whispers as she passes a lemon cake to Sansa.

Sansa’s shocked expression makes you giggle. “Come now, Sansa, you must know there are men like that.”

“I have heard of such things but…” She trails off, taking a bite of her cake.

“It seems to be much more prevalent in Dorne, all manner of things are allowed there.” You take a sip of your tea, spotting Jon lingering on the edge of the godswood with Ghost, Theon lounging in the grass beside them.

“I pity whoever is to be married to him, how will she ever have children?” Myrcella laments, her golden tresses falling forward as she reaches for a blueberry scone.

“Why would that prevent her from having children?” Sansa asks, her eyes cast to the blanket you all sat upon.

“Because he will not…you know…” You lean forward, dropping your voice to a whisper. “Be able to get it up.”

The confusion is clear on her face, and you send a prayer to the Mother for forgiveness over the innocence you are about to ruin.

“A man’s…member must be erect in order for marital acts to be completed, he will not be able to spill his seed otherwise.” You continue feeling your face heat up. Your father had instructed a septa to give you a very frank talk about intercourse when you first bled, it was informative but jarring. Then you sought out some of the older maids to fill in the gaps of knowledge in a gentler way.

“So, if he is not attracted to his future wife, or women at all, it will not get erect?” Sansa asks, putting the pieces together in her mind.

“Which means no children.” Myrcella finishes Sansa’s thought for her.

Sansa wrinkles her nose, a gesture you are certain she picked up from you. “I cannot imagine.”

“Perhaps the marriage will be a strategic one?” You say, tearing some grass out and letting it blow away in the wind.

Lady raises her head and watches them go, then sets it back down in Sansa’s lap.

Sansa runs her fingers through Lady’s fur, mulling over your words. “I do not think I could marry for strategy; I want to marry for love.”

Myrcella rakes her teeth across her bottom lip. “I do not think I will have a choice.”

You rub your cousin’s back soothingly. “You do not know that.”

Sansa perks up. “Let us play a game, we shall describe our perfect husband and then see if it matches to any lords in the court.”

You smile, her childish innocence perfectly distracts Myrcella.

“I shall go first, then?” Myrcella says, thinking for a moment before beginning. “I would like someone my age or a little older, but not by much. Tall with dark hair and dark eyes, the exact opposite of my brothers. Intelligent, a good swordsman, gentle, and a good dancer. And if he had sisters or female cousins for me to befriend, I would like that as well. Oh, and am I terrible if I say I would wish him to be tan? I do so love the look of bronzed skin; it looks so warm.”

You nod at Sansa, who begins. “Someone my age as well, with light hair and emerald eyes, a golden prince who enjoys festivities and is noble like a great knight.”

You and Mycella share a look.

“Sansa it is supposed to be your perfect husband, not your potential betrothed.” You remind her, thanking the gods that Sansa and Joffrey’s betrothal had been delayed thanks to all the excitement when you left Winterfell. It seemed Lord Stark could not think of betrothing his daughter while Bran lay in a coma, so the matter had not been brought up in many weeks.

“Come now, Sansa, we will not tell Joffrey, speak from the heart.” Myrcella encourages, poking Sansa’s arm playfully.

“Joffrey is my perfect husband, but if I must give a different answer…” She trails off, and you can see her eyes flickering to Theon unconsciously. “Perhaps a little older, tall, and strong, but not too broad like The Hound, with light eyes and hair that looks as if it has been tousled by the sea, someone who can make me laugh, and is loyal to those he cares for.”

“That sounds like a very good man.” You say, drawing Sansa’s attention away from Theon.

“Yes, well, Joffrey is many of those things. Now y/n, it is your turn.”

“I agree with you both, no old men, someone strong, a good swordsman, but I must side with Mycrella on looks, I would like a dark-haired man as well, with dark eyes and a gentle soul. Perhaps someone loyal and well-read? And I would like to be friends with my husband, as well as be his wife.”

“It would be nice to be friends with your husband, so many women are simply wives or mothers or broodmares.” Myrcella says, tearing her scone into tiny pieces. “I pity whoever Joffrey marries.”

“Prince Joffrey is a good man; I am sure he will be a wonderful companion to his wife.” Sansa sniffs.

You purse your lips. Your father said you are not to interfere, to let Sansa realize Joffrey’s true nature on her own, but it is difficult.

“House Beesbury has many men like you described, Sansa, perhaps we should look for them during the next feast.” Myrcella says, brushing her hands off on her skirts.

“House Beesbury is a good house, or House Royce, both I believe will be sending knights for the Tourney of the Hand.” You add.

Now it is your turn to clutch Sansa’s hand as Jon faces off against Thoros of Myr. You knew the Red Priest would not hurt him, it was Jon’s first tourney, but you still feared for him. Anything could happen, he could be blinded by the sun, the Red Priest could be seized with divine madness, or the others that Jon had already defeated to reach Thoros could try to interfere and sabotage him.

Jon’s stance is steady, his sword—which glints in the sunlight, a gift from you, for his nameday—at the ready. Strong and sturdy made of the finest steel outside of Valyrian, the pommel set with an emerald, a direwolf carved into the crossguard.

“May the Lord of Light have mercy on you, my son.” Thoros says as he and Jon circle each other.

Jon says nothing, only nods and watches the older man.

Thoros’ sword is aflame with wildfire, the flames dance as he swings it gracefully, waiting for Jon to strike.

“Will the fire burn him?” Sansa asks, watching the two men through her fingers.

“Never seen Jon get burned before.” Theon shrugs.

Sansa hisses a reply at him, her head whipping forward when you gasp.

Jon strikes, fast as a whip, their swords meeting, the sound of iron on iron echoing in the ring. He has been training with Lord Aron Santagar, your uncle’s master-at-arms, or your Uncle Jaime whenever he has free time. Which is often as you do not have much to do most days, besides lessons and subtly attempting to convince Sansa to realize her feelings for Theon.

Thoros lunges, nearly catching Jon by surprise, but Jon side steps, kicking up dust as he moves.

Your heart is in your throat, and you stand, your hand still in Sansa’s when the duelers meet face to face once more. It is a show of strength, and you send a quick prayer to the Warrior, your eyes never leaving Jon’s form. Thoros is gaining, pushing at Jon, his feet sliding in the dirt, his arms trembling.

“Knock him flat, Jon!” Sansa’s voice surprises even you, as she jumps to her feet, Theon’s laughter ringing behind you both.

You are not even sure if Jon can hear her, but he seems emboldened, and he shoves the older man forward with a grunt. Thoros stumbles back, an ecstatic grin on his face.

“There it is, boy, show me your fire.” Thoros cheers, clearly enjoying the match far more than anyone watching.

Jon moves quicker than you can blink, throwing his weight behind his sword and knocking the man flat, just as he had Joffrey all those moons ago. He holds Thoros at sword point, and the crowd erupts.

Robert calls out Jon’s victory cheerfully, and you see Lord Stark smiling as Robert claps him on the back.

Sansa sinks into her chair with a sigh of relief, but you cannot do the same, you rush forward, pressing yourself against the edge of the dais. Jon is your sworn sword, and your heart will not return to its place in your chest until you have seen he is whole.

“Lady Y/N.” Jon calls, his helmet in one hand, his curls wild, a grin born of victory on his handsome face as he approaches the dais, a crown of roses hanging from his sword.

“Ser Jon.” You smile, graciously accepting the crown from the tip of his sword. It is half a hand longer than a normal sword, something you found an odd request of his, but it serves him well.

Sansa helps you arrange the crown on your head, looking at it wistfully. “It is beautiful, and it suits you.”

“Perhaps for the next tourney I will forbid Jon from fighting and Theon can crown you.” You suggest smiling devilishly at the Greyjoy.

Theon makes a sound of protest, Sansa’s own interrupted by Jon’s appearance on the dais. He has not even cleaned himself off, and he sets his helmet down on the railing, barely having enough time to speak before your uncle calls him over.

“Ser Snow, come, let us toast to your victory.” He says, raising a full cup high, Thoros is with them, his own cup full, his smile bright and genuine as he waves Jon over.

Jon looks at you, and you shoo him towards the throne. He has grown taller and stronger, though he is less broad than some other knights, there is raw strength in his every move. He is quick too, evident by the very fact there is barely a scratch on him. He fought six men and all he has to show for it will be a small scar on his cheek and sore muscles in the morning.

Theon’s voice draws your attention away from Jon. “Sansa—”

“Lady Sansa.” She cuts him off.

He leans over and plucks the crown from your head, giving you a quick wink. “Lady Sansa. If you wished to be crowned my queen of love and beauty, you need only ask.” Theon says smoothly placing the crown on her head then giving her an elaborate bow.

Sansa freezes, her eyes darting to where Joffrey sits, his attention completely consumed by the archery competition. “Theon…”

“Though I dare say you are far more beautiful without that frilly crown.” He says, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger.

“I happen to like that frilly crown.” You interject, trying to hold back your laughter.

Theon can be quite humorous, his bawdy jokes and shameless manner often sending color rushing to Sansa’s cheeks.

“You have to win me this crown, Theon, that is how it works.” Sansa says, ripping the crown from her head and shoving it at Theon.

“And where is your queen, she must come celebrate with us.” Your uncle’s voice booms, carrying over to you, as you take your crown back from Theon.

He helps you adjust it as Sansa did and gives you a secret smile. “Promise you will keep Jon from fighting next time?”

You smile back. “I promise.”

“Y/N, come over here, the people wish to see you congratulate your champion.”

You pick up your skirts and hurry over to your uncle, who is already deep in his cups. Your aunt is watching him with an air of disgust veiled by wifely concern. “My King, do not embarrass the poor girl.”

Robert waves her off. “It is only proper; it was the reward I would receive from you when I would crown you my queen of love and beauty.”

You glance at your father, who is still seated. He inclines his head towards you. It is your decision, whatever your uncle is asking of you.

Jon shifts his weight, his skin sweat soaked and dusted with dirt, a mug of ale in his hand.

“Embarrass me?” You search your mind for whatever your aunt could be referring to, there were not many times your uncle would compete in tourneys, especially as he aged, the only reward you can remember him receiving…

Thoros slings an arm over Jon’s shoulder. “A kiss, you must bestow your champion a kiss.”

Your eyes widen and you glance around. Everyone is watching, even the crowd seems intent to see what the King will encourage next. They are chanting, you did not realize they were chanting for Jon, too wrapped up in your own thoughts.

“I—I am unwed, would it not be improper?” You ask, looking to your aunt for help.

“Robert, please she is only a child—”

“On the cheek then, there is no shame then, your father is here, I am here, there shall be no besmirching of your virtue.” Your uncle says, clapping his hands together with a tone of finality.

Series Masterlist here!

Jon Snow TL: @mostclevermiss, @solacestyles, @2valentines, @sharknutz

#meg's writing #jon snow x you #jon snow x reader #jon snow imagines #jon snow imagine #jon snow #lannister!reader

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alalaya2 · 27 days ago

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Tim Drakes Sleep Habits Save the Earth

12 They’ve Coming 2/2

Morrigan turned around and gave herself a wide stance bracing for the impact she knew was coming.

“Mamaí” shouted two people coming out of the portal at top speed. The Dwarfed her in height and bulk but she managed to keep her balance as her Children embraced her for the First time since she the end of her illness.

Letting her tears soke into their hair as she carted her Fingers though their locks of silky shadows and fire. “My babies! I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I have to leave you to your fate.”

Pandora was next to approach her as her adult children hung onto her like a starving leach. “My Lady it is good to see you.” Pandora placed her dominant right hand to her core.

Morrigan was having none of that “Pan, join us I know that you are at least courting my son by now you are family get in here.” She said as her foot shot out and yanked Pandora toward her making them all land in a pile.

Morrigan let out a small purr just enjoying the moment as she knew it need to be short. “Come I have one more person to greet before we rescue the new king.”

Lazarus stud there almost not believing his eyes “Eṉ kōr” he whispered in shock and aw.

Morrigan gave him a small smile “yes mo Chridhe.”

When he flung himself at her the group ended up on the ground a tangle of limbs, hair, and feathers. A soft purr rumbled through several Cores at the Joy of a family reunited. The Justus League, the Batfam and the Green Lanterns looked on in slight confusion at the pile of Ghost.

Morrigan kissed the top of each of her Children’s head and nuzzled the hollow of her husband’s throat before sighing and started to untangle herself from them. Rescue Nibbling first and meeting the future grandchild and Great grandchildren, then she can have a proper family reunion.

Batman looked at the Woman in the middle of the pile of taking note of how she looked tinny in the middle of the large Ghost. He had to Guess that if she had been standing, she would be about 5’5. She moved slowly as she got up from the pile, the others quickly following her lead.

“Hello Batman First Knight of Gotham” she spoke in a cool soothing tone.

Every single hair he had stood on end as he recognized her voice as he had heard it many times before “Lady Death.”

“Yes and No I am Morrigan the physical representations of Death and one of the Endless ones and while I cannot see as much as my Brother Clockwork, I know you and your Cauldron can call me Mamó.”

A Few of the Green Lanterns and the Ghost seem to choke on air.

“Mamó?” he asks quietly asked, he dose speak some Galic as the Irish mobs do have some representation in Gotham but that is not a word, he is 100% familiar with but was able to Guess it was Grandmother.

“The Father of your heart will Marry my daughter making you Farid if Mamó is not something you want to call me call me Gram. I won’t have my first grandchild Call me by my titles.”

Batman does what he does best compartmentalize everything until he can no longer do so. Was it healthy? No, was it going to bit him in the ass later it always does, but they have a child to save and a war to stop. He didn’t want to know about Alfred's Future love life. He will also need a lot more information to make a bunch of new contingencies. “Hm” he gave her a slight Grunt not really sure what to say to her

“Come, let us save your cousin he is not doing well and needs to get to his Farid as soon as possible.”

“Cousin?”

“He is My Brother Times’ son he is going though Core Shock” The Ghost Gasped. “We need to get a Quick plan, so we are not stepping on anyone’s toes there has already been several cores that have faded. We need to make sure that they will not take anymore.”

Agent W and Agent F were on Security Duty watching the cameras for any Ghost attacks.

“This is wrong Frank.”

“I Know Bill but what can we do? We don’t have any back up or a way to get the ghost free and even if we did then we would be killed for Treason. They already killed Dylan for being in the way and he didn’t even do it on purpose.”

“You of all People should know that the Law is not all ways Right or do you not remember Bubby’s Stories or the Tattoo on her arm.”

“Don’t you dare bring my Bubby into this.” The anger left Williams Shoulders “and you are right she would be disappointed in me for even helping them once we realized that the Ghost were people to.” William Looked away from Frank not wanting to meet his eyes if things had gone differently in WW2 he would not have been seen as a person either and a lot of people forgot this. A flash of color on the screen caught his attention. “Frank, am I seeing things or is that the JL and do they look pissed to you?”

Frank whipped his head to the Screens to see the JL, Green Lanterns, and other Ghost on the hill near the front Gate. “Looks like the Green Lanterns found the Anti Ecto Acts. I told you that they were illegal in several of our off-earth treaties.”

“I Don’t see them, and it looks like we will need to call maintenance at the end of our shift as the alarms and locks are malfunctioning.”

“Yes what a Shame my finger slipped and opened the Front door.”

They watched as the invading force/ Rescue team charged forward. “Frank, can you watch the cameras by yourself? It looks like I’ll need to give some guests some Directions.”

“Of course I can and Bill..” William looks at Frank expectantly “Give them Hell.”

William’s Smile was all Teeth.

Prvious, Ao3, Next

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #ghost king danny #danny phanton is clockwors kid #green lanterns

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camillasgirl · 3 months ago

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Queen Camilla's speech to mark Holocaust Memorial Day, 23.01.2025

Survivors of the Holocaust, Survivors of Genocide, Ladies and Gentlemen. As Patron of the Anne Frank Trust UK, it is an honour and a privilege to join you to remember the victims of the Shoah and of genocides since the end of the Second World War. It is also an opportunity to renew our commitment to two simple, but powerful, words: “Never Forget”.

This year we commemorate the 80th anniversary of the death of Anne Frank in Bergen Belsen, at the age of 15. Had she lived, she would be 95. Miraculously, her father, Otto, survived. He had been one of the 7,000 people freed on 27th January 1945, when the Soviet Army marched under the gates of Auschwitz that bore the sign, “Arbeit macht frei”, “Work makes one free”.

Words, as I said just now, have power. Those over the gates of Auschwitz represent one of history’s greatest, and most evil, lies. But Anne knew that they were always there to offer truth, comfort and hope. A year before she died, she wrote a promise in her diary: “I’ll make my voice heard, I’ll go out into the world and work for mankind!”. She was never to do so in person. However, over subsequent decades, and thanks to Otto’s tireless efforts, Anne’s diary has become the enduring embodiment of that promise. We can only guess at what she would have made of her legacy. Yet her story demonstrates that even the quietest, loneliest voice in the wilderness can change the world. That is the true power of words.

Anne’s life and death continue to inspire an anti-prejudice movement across the globe, including the Anne Frank Trust here in Britain. Last year, you reached 126,000 young people in this country alone, with your distinctive combination of Holocaust history, education about discrimination and youth empowerment. I am proud to be your Patron and grateful to all of you who support the Trust in its vital work – thank you.

Five years ago, I heard another survivor, Marian Turski, a Polish Jew, speak at a ceremony to mark the 75th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz. During his testimony, Marian said this:

I shall not be telling you about the very worst experience, the tragedy of being separated from my nearest loved ones and sensing what awaited them after the selection. I want to talk with the generation of my daughter and the generation of my grandchildren about themselves…. Don’t be complacent, whenever you see the past being misused for current political purposes. Don’t be complacent, whenever any kind of minority is discriminated against. Democracy itself lies in the fact that the rights of minorities must be protected. Don’t be complacent… Because if you become complacent, before you know it, some kind of Auschwitz will suddenly appear from nowhere and befall you and your descendants.'

Today, more than ever, with levels of antisemitism at their highest level for a generation; and disturbing rises in Islamophobia and other forms of racism and prejudice, we must heed this warning. The deadly seeds of the Holocaust were sown at first in small acts of exclusion, of aggression and of discrimination towards those who had previously been neighbours and friends. Over a terrifying short period of time, those seeds took root through the complacency of which we can all be guilty: of turning away from injustice, of ignoring that which we know to be wrong, of thinking that someone else will do what’s needed – and of remaining silent.

Let’s unite in our commitment to take action, to speak up and to ensure that the words “Never Forget” are a guiding light that charts a path towards a better, brighter, and more tolerant future for us all.

As Anne wrote in her diary on 7th May 1944:

"What is done cannot be undone, but at least one can prevent it from happening again."

Thank you.

#queen camilla #speech #quote #IMPORTANT

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romanarose · 11 months ago

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About a Girl Masterlist

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Summary: Joel is a simple man. He goes to work, he takes care of his kindergarten age daughter, he tries to make sure Tommy doesn't die and occasionally Tess comes over. He works on Frank and Bill's farm with Tommy, Tess, and another coworker, Max. For his birthday, Tommy drags Joel out to a local grunge band's show, music he knows Joel hates. Joel is surprised to find Tess's girlfriends best friend, a girl they all call Blue because of the blue in her hair, has caught his attention.

What he doesn't know is she is trans. When he finds out, he's very confused, not because he judges her, but because he's not sure what it means for him. Does it make him gay? What does trans even mean? He's very confused. Still, despite all the confusion Joel has an open mind and he just knows that he has a lot of feelings for you and he wants to try. Joel goes on a journey of learning, not only what your trans identity means but also how to take care of himself, how to set boundaries, and learning he doesn't need carry the whole world on his shoulders.

Joel loves country, is as yeehaw as they come. Blue loves grunge, and looking as edgy as she can get by as a school teacher. Can you and Joel make it all work with the one thing that bonds them both together; flannel?

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

Themes: Found family, Tommy shitheadery (I love him), bi Aunt Tess, Joel recovering from emotional abuse, tired Joel trying to take care of everyone, grunge v country, lots of flannel, y'allternative (blending Joel's country life and reader's grunge life), Sarah Ellie friendship, Bill and Frank as the elder gays, Joel knows nothing about queerness and transness but by golly's he's trying, single dad Joel, good uncle Tommy, good uncle but also not very responsible and maybe has an addiction problem Tommy? lets find out!

Chapter 1: Joel is tired. Chapter 2: You help Joel relax Chapter 3: Blue comes out Chapter 4: Joel tries his best to stay open Chapter 5: Blue and Joel make it official Chapter 6: Blue gets to bond with Sarah Chapter 7: Blue meets Kayla and Joel is honest. Chapter 8: Joel is there for Blue, always. Chapter 9: blue sets up her future with Joel Chapter 10: Happy endings

Made for Oscar Isaac/Pedro Pascal Pride Event

How to keep up with the series:

Follow About a girl series on tumblr

follow @romana-updates and turn on notifications

Ask to be tagged!

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silentmythmaker · 2 years ago

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WIP OF THE DAY

@setavvo I am surprised and confused, but I am very pleased. Thank you! This is a small WIP to my long fic.

"Rost tried to be a caring father, but sometimes it seemed to me …" She looked around, plunging into memories. "That he did not understand that the child needed not only a bowl of hot food and clothes with a bed. I never doubted his love. He loved me. As only he could. Protection. Shelter. Survival. Training without interruption. Sometimes I saw him take out a carved figure of a watcher, furtively rubbing it and examining it. You know, it was worn and chipped in many places, and the wood was slightly cracked where the tail and back joined. He hid it as soon as he saw me looking. I think the toy belonged to his daughter. It is possible that, despite the fact that part of him never lost love for his daughter and wife, he regretted that he was not with them, but were... well, where do they get to after death. Into the Void or into the Abyss. It doesn't matter. But the duty of the Mother of All is above all, as he told me. Apparently this and his love for me made him live and continue to breathe. But he just didn't find a place for… extra warmth between us. For frankness. For… I do not know how to explain it."

"He was hurt and he was lost. I'm glad he was able to take care of you. Need to have the courage to do this without relying on the past, no matter how much it hurts."

"Yes… but I… sometimes it was hard for me to accept his stubbornness. He believed in the Goddess. He did not accept the facts that indicated that the goddess did not exist. He talked about the stars, about the sun and about fire. About the path that the ancestors passed - Nora and why it is important. About the magic Mother's milk that spilled in the sky, so that children would always remember her maternal love. It was so important to him… I listened to these stories, taught them and repeated them word for word. I sang songs Nora. One day he led me to the wall, so that we would not be noticed. He left me alone in the grass and told me to listen. I listened to… poems and songs. It was sung by matriarchs and older women… it wasn't… important to me. They were about one thing: about motherhood, about military glory in protecting the tribe and in faith to the Mother Goddess. About how the earth and machines were born. There was nothing real about it, Kotallo. Rost said that I should know them, because I am a future woman from the Nora tribe." She smiled mirthlessly, pushing back the hair that hid her face from her forehead. She looked sideways and rubbed her neck, stirring the boiling water with herbs with her other hand. "I once told him that all his legends are mouse nonsense. Everything in them is not true, but this…" She touched her focus with her finger, "is the truth. He… became more silent than usual. Didn't talk to me, and then… left. Didn't come back until morning. Even more gloomy, and… He didn't talk to me for a long time. Only after a while did he say that I HAD to believe if I wanted to become part of the tribe. I was ten or so."

"I once heard the phrase, from Fashav: "Don't take away a person's faith, sometimes that's all they need to exist and live.""

She twisted her face, snorting indignantly.

"My rational mind doesn't quite understand that. You can live for other things: for a higher purpose. For the sake of saving the world." She appreciated the chuckle from his chest by nudging him. "Don't laugh, Marshal Who-Flying-on-the-wings-of-Ten. For… Revenge. Everyone is looking for what they like. But to believe in a creature or creatures that no one has seen… it's stupid. Irrational.

"You're right, you can't believe in GAIA either. According to this logic, it does not exist. Because no one, except our family, has seen it and cannot feel it. Well, or except for those with whom she spoke through focus. Do you get it, my wing?" Kotallo agreed and intercepted her hand, which was rushing to his shoulder. He kissed her knuckles and touched the inside of her warm palm with a smile. "How did we move from talking about your past to talking about higher powers?"

"You started provoking me." She grumbled.

"Sometimes songs… are songs. What the soul requires. Tenakth chose the word, but we sing if it's big celebrate, or we need to tune in to the battle or sing in honor of the Beginning of a new cycle. Each tribe has its own stories. And sometimes… you just have to listen and try to understand what is important to others. Here."

He touched the place where her heart was pounding.

"You're too wise for a man whose whole life is a battle."

"I can hear and have learned patience. In patience I learned to reason…"

She grunted, pulling him in for a kiss.

"I know… And I love you for that and for a thousand other reasons…"

@poulticepurse @poppypopp @hannahmationstudios @han-ban-bam @mancatrex @fogsblue but no pressure <3

#horizon forbidden west #aloy #kotaloy #kotallo

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chillingcinemachronicles · 1 year ago

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Top 5 Must-Watch Sci-Fi Movies Booming on Netflix Right Now

where every frame is a portal to limitless possibilities and extraordinary adventures. Discover the magic of the future, today!

In the Shadow of the Moon (2007) EW grade: A (read the review) Director: David Sington One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" was the phrase that echoed around the galaxy in July of 1969, when American astronauts emerged from Apollo 11 and took their first steps on the surface of the moon. In 2007, In the Shadow of the Moon, a British documentary premiered at Sundance, chronicling this history-making achievement and digging into the story behind the Apollo program through interviews with 10 astronauts from across the program's many missions. Featuring never before released footage, archival news reports, and the perspectives of some of the only people to see Earth from this remarkable vantage point, In the Shadow of the Moon is stranger than science fiction because it's completely true.

2, Oxygen (2021) EW grade: B (read the review) Director: Alexandre Aja Cast: Mélanie Laurent, Mathieu Amalric, Malik Zidi A nightmare come to life for claustrophobics everywhere, Oxygen is a French language sci-fi film that thinks outside the box in terms of action. At the genesis, an unidentified woman (Mélanie Laurent) awakens in an airtight medical unit, unsure of who or where she is. Interactions with the system's AI - dubbed M.I.L.O. (Medical Interface Liaison Officer) - provide some clarity as to her identity, but no matter what she tries, she cannot escape her prison. As she seeks to understand who placed her in the box and why, truths about her personal life and the current state of the world come into focus - but her search for context is actually a race to outwit the slowly depleting oxygen levels.

3. Project Power (2020) EW grade: B+ (read the review) Director: Ariel Schulman, Henry Joost Cast: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jamie Foxx, Dominique Fishback, Machine Gun Kelly, Rodrigo Santoro, Courtney B. Vance, Amy Landecker What do a New Orleans police officer (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), a soldier in search of his daughter (Jamie Foxx), and a rapping drug dealer (Dominique Fishback, The Deuce) have in common? They're all working to rid the streets of Power, a new drug that gives users five minutes of superhero abilities, at the risk of killing them with one hit. A science fiction action film produced by Netflix, Project Power invites audiences into a city still suffering the after-effects of Katrina, even decades after the hurricane hit. Populated by morally murky characters - like Gordon-Levitt's Detective Frank Shaver, a cop who uses the drug to level the playing field against the city's criminals, or Fishback's teenage Robin Reilly, who knows she needs to deal to get ahead in this world, but is too smart to partake of her own product - the film finds room for cultural context amidst the action sequences.

4. See You Yesterday (2019) Director: Stefon Bristol Talent: Eden Duncan-Smith, Danté Crichlow, Marsha Stephanie Blake, Brian "Stro" Bradley The best way to live life with no regrets is to build a time machine - which is exactly what happens in Netflix's Spike Lee-produced sci-fi adventure film, See You Yesterday. After best friends and high school science prodigies C.J. and Sebastian unlock the secrets to time travel, they're forced to use their newfound invention in an attempt to save C.J.'s brother Calvin from a fatal encounter with the police. A modern take on Back to the Future - also featuring an appearance by the original time traveler, Michael J. Fox - the film grapples with highly relevant cultural issues like police brutality while still having fun with high school tropes and time loops. See You Yesterday might not have gotten the attention it deserved when it first premiered on the platform back in 2019.

5. Starship Troopers (1997) EW grade: B+ (read the review) Director: Paul Verhoeven Cast: Casper Van Dien, Dina Meyer, Denise Richards, Jake Busey, Neil Patrick Harris, Patrick Muldoon, Michael Ironside Fascist imagery and thudding allusions to World War II-era propaganda films permeate Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers, but because the provocative Dutch filmmaker didn't explicitly spell out his satire, it went over the heads of many upon its release. But time has been kind to the action-comedy, perhaps because its gleefully cynical portrait of nationalism and a war-hungry populace would resonate that much more in the years following 9/11 and the Iraq War. That said, those interested in the simpler pleasures of watching bugs go splat will also find plenty to like, from its gnarly, goo-slinging action set pieces to CGI effects that stand up to today's technology.

#movies

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legends-of-time · 1 year ago

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The Strength of a High and Noble Hill (Outlander)

Chapter 11: The Loss of Hope

Masterlist

The initial hope of finding Jamie is soon dashed. Brian, Ellen and Mama unite to find Jamie with the help of Roger. Brian enjoys this time, not only the hope of finding out about his real father but spending time with his mother, sister and new friend. He knows Ellen and Mama haven't always been that close. It'd always been two camps, Brian and Mama in one and Dad and Ellen in the other. But now the truth is out, Brian can see that the invisible wall between mother and daughter has come down.

They begin by poring over 18th century ledgers to try and find where Jamie went after Culloden. They discover a record of him at Ardsmuir Prison, however, they discover that Ardsmuir closed, and cannot find any record of his transfer. They initially hope that ship records will indicate where Jamie went but they soon realise that the dates are wrong and that it can't be him.

Mama bends over and lets out a sob. Brian frowns as sits down next to her, wrapping an arm around her. She turns her head and sobs into his shoulder.

"It's hopeless. I can't find him." Her voice cracks.

Brian rubs her arm. "You don't know that, Mama."

Mama lifts her head to look at him. "But where else can we look? How can we know what happened after Ardsmuir?"

Brian doesn't answer as he doesn't know himself. All that hope of finding out about what happened to his birth father, learning what happened more for his mother's sake than his own, is now faded.

He looks up to see Ellen and Roger's despondent faces. What do they do now?

——

Jamie gazes upon his son as he sits astride the pony that Jamie himself guides about the grounds of Helwater. He thinks of his other son, Brian, he'd be twenty by now, a man. Jamie can only imagine what he's like now. Jamie hopes he, Claire and his sibling are all safe and well.

1764

He wonders how Brian has matured, and what his interests are. Jamie wonders if he can play chess or perhaps a 20th century game he won't understand. Is he a good older brother to his younger sibling? Do they get on well?

Jamie wonders if he and Claire had another son or if it was a daughter. They'd be eighteen. Jamie hopes they are well too and thriving. He wonders what their features are. Did they take after him or Claire or do they favour both?

Sometimes he passes a thought to Frank. He wonders what Claire would've told him, did he accept Claire, Brian and the unborn babe? Is he a father to Jamie's children? He tries not to have thoughts on whether he's being a better father to Jamie's own kids than Jamie would ever be because how would he know? Frank is in the future with the option to be a father to the children while Jamie is stuck in the past, unable to see them, to see them grow.

He moves from his thoughts to gaze upon Willie once more. "Now, keep yer back straight."

Willie nods with a determined face, one that reflects Jamie's. "I am Mac!"

Jamie chuckles at his son's tone. "Aye, yer are." Never would he have thought he'd have a son who's an English Lord.

His smile drops as he realises it's no longer safe for him to stay here, particularly for Willie. Too many people are already pointing out the similarities between the two of them and Jamie feels it's time to go back to Lallybroch and start anew as best he can.

——

A/N: Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.

#outlander

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dailyaudiobiblechronological · 2 years ago

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7/8/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

2 Kings 15 and 2 Chronicles 26 Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological. I'm Jill. Today is the 8th day of July. Welcome, everybody. I hope you've had a good week. Maybe it's been a busy week for some of you like it's been for us here, and I hope that you can just take some time this weekend and exhale. And relax and rest and catch your breath. Slow down. Enjoy the world around you and be present with the ones that you love. We're going to jump in here today, right now, and read the Bible. We're back in Second Kings Chapter 15, and then we'll jump over and read Second Chronicles Chapter 26 this week. And today is the last day in the Evangelical Heritage version. Second Kings, Chapter 15.

Prayer:

Father, we thank you for your word. We thank you for this week that we've had here together with you. We thank you for this time and your presence. We thank you for how you have spoke to us. I pray that we can look back over this past week and see the things that we have needed to change going forward. And I pray that we look back with compassion for ourselves, with grace for ourselves, with love and kindness that you extend to us. May we extend it to ourselves as we walk forward in repentance and the newness and the redemption of what is to come. We let go of the things that we cannot carry into next week, and we lay them at your feet undone, not ours to take and carry undo. And we look ahead to the future with hope, with promise and with love. We pray these things in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Announcements:

I thank you for this time allowing me to be here with you this week. It's been my privilege, truly an honor, to be reading God's word with us to all of you, individually, collectively, and in the community and as they say, Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I'll see you the week after next, and I'll leave you in the delicate yet strong, capable and fragile beautiful hands of my beautiful daughter China. And when she's done, I'll be back. Until then, I'm Jill. Love one another.

Community Prayer Line:

Salutations. This is His little songbird from Alberta, Canada and today's June 29th. I want to pray for the lady that called in the very last caller. I'm sorry, I did not catch your name, but you said that you stumbled across this platform online and it's it's been very good for you. And you were asking for prayer because every time you pray it, it feels like you're under a new attack and you have so much debt hanging over your head that you're not...You can't see a way out, but you're trusting the Lord for that. Father God, I lift up this lady to you and I ask that that you would supply all her needs, Father. And I thank you for doing that, even though physically our eyes may not see it happening just yet. We know you are moving. Lord, I thank you for bringing her to the Dab family. And I ask that umm if you would, please put a hedge of protection around her so that Satan could could not get through and and that all the assignments of the enemy would just be cancelled against her Lord. I ask in Jesus name. And I thank you, Lord. I love you. God loves you more.

This is Susan in South Carolina and I would like to pray for Creative Child's Families, the Ball Cook, Frank Tassia, and Bright families. Lord, we just lift these families to you as they leave their family reunion, some of them with the COVID virus. Lord, let those who are infected real quickly and without issue and protect them, Lord, if they don't already have the disease in His name we pray. Amen.

Hello D ABC Family. This is Diana from Florida and I want to pray for the woman who called in on the June 29th podcast.whom is really struggling with her emotional and spiritual well-being. She is.essentially seeking the Lord and prayer and Bible reading and feels the weight of the world on her shoulders, Feels like every time she sees things come up and things happen and it is difficult. And so I want to pray for her. I don't. I didn't catch her name during this, but Lord knows who she is, so let me pray. Dear God, I thank you so much for this woman's life. I thank you, Lord God, that she has been persevering even in the midst of struggles and stress and difficulty that she's been persevering and seeking you and reading the scriptures, Lord, I pray that she would continue to persevere. I pray that you continue to give her the strength to persevere even through these trials. Your word tells us, oh Lord God, that we should rejoice when we face trials of many kinds because these trials will produce in us endurance, patience. They'll teach us many lessons. We'll grow and develop. You know James, the book of James, I believe it's chapter.5.Talks about this and so. Or if not, maybe chapter one somewhere in the book of James Point is that you know, Lord God, I pray that you would encourage her, Encourage her that there is going to be a season where things are going to level out and it will be better, but you now want her to learn something in this season. And I pray she does.In Jesus name. Hi guys, it's Kate calling in. I just heard Jesus girl carries really sad prayer request for her friend Selena. .So, Father, I lift up Selena to you, and I beg you to minister to her, soothe her as she understandably feels like she's losing it with all the debts Her mom, her husband, her father-in-law. It's a it's an enormous load on her and I don't really think we're meant to keep it if you will.We're just not wired to deal with such catastrophic losses one after the other and and I understand she has a little girl too, that she has to be strong for father. Just it was impressed upon my heart that sometimes people say things.Like, why would you allow this or that? You must be correcting us or chastising us even. And that's just not always the case. Sometimes it's just living in the fallen world. With other fallen people and illness, and sometimes people like Whitney come to mind, who just suffered so many deaths and so much grief and loss that it isn't natural. So I pray that you would be the supernatural solution for Selena. And I thank you that Carrie cares so much about her friend that she would ask all of us around the world to pray for her. And I am committed to do that. I lift these up in Jesus precious name. Amen.

Hi, this is Lori's daughter at the Silversmith, and I want to pray for Amy today and me Put on your full armor of God every day so that you can stand against the devil's schemes. For your struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this Dark World against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms, therefore, you need to put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything to stand, stand firm, then with the belt of truth buckled around your waist with the breastplate plate of righteousness in place and where there are feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, I pray Emmy will take up the shield of faith with which you can she can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. She will take up the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit.

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mirchloe · 25 days ago

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what stands out to me about kitty and lili is (presumably) they come from a similar family structure. in canon (to exclude the campster mention of lili's mom by elton), they only state their fathers being in their lives, who are both powerful figures. kitty's father is a prominent, wealthy attorney; lili's dad is the grand head of the psychonauts, and while his title is grand, currently, the psychonauts are beginning to drown in a budget crisis.

while kitty happily wields her father's influence to get her way, lili attempts to move away from the psychonauts. she's disillusioned with the organization, preferring plants to people, and stewing in her own uncertainty about her place as her father's duty, feeling she isn't good enough. it's a constant, pricking thorn in her side, self-doubt, uncertainty, a sense of isolation. for lili, the expectation that she will follow in her father's footsteps - and with the addition of pn2, her great-uncle's footsteps - the zanottos are *expected* to be psychonauts. even if she doesn't aspire to be the grand head, the only path she's known is the life of an agent. her father's friends, and her closest adult figures, are all psychonauts, which inadvertently creates this pressure and expectation that lili, too, will grow up to be a psychonaut. but by growing up in such an environment, this actually creates a stifling limitation: lili's own future is being decided by other factors, familial or otherwise, not her, and this puts her at odds with truman. while we don't know truman's perspective on this, as his interactions with lili in pn2 are wholly positive post-game and focus on catching up after the stress of his kidnapping, to me, this issue could have possibly been a source of friction between them, in that truman is trying to balance both the agency and his daughter, blending the two together in some cases and worsening lili's sentiments to the psychonauts. she thinks she isn't good enough, isn't doing all she can for him, and that thorn remains.

for kitty, on the other hand, there's glee in being her father's daughter. it's a malicious tool to use, and she's known for getting her way. she invokes her father whenever she can to spin an argument in her favor or to give someone the brush off when they annoy her. with how kitty presents, her wealth is on full display (a unique attire, a full face of make-up, accessories, etc), and it all comes from her father. he buys her whatever she wants, or possibly, kitty splurges his wealth, adding to a presumed mountain of high-end fashion, perfumes, face creams, etc. however, money cannot buy love, and the implication of all this seems to be a striking disconnect. to use campster again to supplement kitty's background, she was a navy brat, growing up on bases, and never having time to make proper bonds. she grew up with a sense of manipulation instilled within her by her father, choosing influence and prominence over genuine emotional connections. she even expresses relief that her dad got "kicked out," but the disconnect between father and daughter remain. there is no sense of closeness, hardly a normal dynamic between them, as it seems controlled by wealth and prestige. the complexity of their relationships with their fathers nurtures some aspects of their personalities, in which the strain with them creates different traits. kitty is closed off, even with franke. she is snide, cunnng, always trying to be one step ahead. lili may be closed off, but she's willing to stand up for others, to intervene when the little guy is down, to help, such as how her father offers his help to those in need, even *that* choice was difficult to protect more people (hollis and bob respectively). lili's closeness with truman, although frayed and her upbringing in the psychonauts, is prevalent in what she does and how she is - and when they're finally able to reconnect, when the world of the psychonauts falls around them in her garden, she's able to simply be lili, not a zanotto, not the daughter of the grand head, just lili, truman's daughter.

kitty, evidently, does not any of this. she's one of the few who is visibly shocked when raz becomes a psychonaut. hard work rewards efforts, and she's never really had to lift a finger. she's been coasting through life, in a way, constantly moving from place to place, never having a genuine connection with a man who simply pays kitty off with whatever she asks for. kitty puts on a bold face, a pearly white grin for lili to see whenever lili spies on her in the shadows, but in the end, lili is able to move on, to begin healing with truman, while kitty remains a bubai in name alone. she might be the daughter of her father, emulating the behaviors witnessed from him and choosing to act upon, but kitty really isn't her father's daughter.

kitty, smirking, gesturing at lili: me and my narrative foil and she haaaaates it lollllll i'm winning the narrative lili: at least i can have honest conversations with my dad. lmao. kitty:

#lili #kitty #i'm not reading this over because i have to order rabbit food before i forget lol #this is mostly for an in narrative foil situation rather than getting into the full scope of their characters #but i like it nonetheless because they're parallels and that's not even getting into how they fully treat others/are treated by others #i was thinking about my whole 'they used to be friends but had a messy 'break-up'' and now kitty flaunts her relationship with franke #that one scene!! of lili watching them from the shadows!!!!! who'd even want a stupid friendship bracelet!!!

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k8fics · 2 years ago

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Ruined Legacy

My Way to Freedom

summary: Based off “My Way” by Frank Sinatra; Joel & Ellie find a curled up woman in a farmhouse with a freshly dead guy outside — Episode 1 of the ‘Ruined Tragedy’

rating: R - just reader’s backstory & character building (my bad), some joel splattered in there tho, she cannot catch a break, abusive/toxic relationship (not joel), murder, brutally killings, dead parents, captivity (kinda? idk man), thoughts of suicide, cussing, hopefully that’s all

And now the end is near

And so I face the final curtain

I still remember how my mother woke me up that night; tears streamed down her face, and her entire body shook. How she frantically grabbed my hand, pulled me towards the basement door, sat me down on the cold ground, and told me to wait down there while she received a call for help from my father.

I still remember how I stared at the small window, covered by the dusty curtain. How the lights from the outside world showed through the glass, the orange hues, the flashes of car lights, the shadows of people’s feet running away.

I still remember waking up down there. This time, my parents were with me, arguing over each other. My mother paced with her arms flailing out, my father leaning on the concrete wall with his arms crossed.

“We can’t just leave! You heard the TV, we’re instructed to stay inside!” She yelled.

“And you saw what’s out there. We have to get out of here, who knows if they’ll start bombing again.” He said calmly. She only sighed in response, stopping and looking directly at me.

I stayed silent, still acting like I’m asleep. But she could tell I was awake. Mom always could tell. She walked over to me, with a smile. Although, the smile was fake. I could tell she was scared.

She put her hands on my face, I leaned into her. “Hey, baby... We gotta go, let’s start packing.” She said, pulling me up.

As I walked to my room, and she walked to hers, I looked out the window. Your neighbor’s house still burning from the night before, the ground covered in blood and ash. The world has gone to complete shit.

My friend, I’ll say it clear

I’ll state my chase of which I’m certain

“Who the fuck are you?”

Your thoughts were interrupted by a gravelly voice. You looked up to see a girl and a man. You glanced around to see you were in the same room you had been stewing in for the past day.

You opened your mouth to speak, lips cracked from the lack of moisture. “..I stay here.” You stated, not in the most cohesive terms though.

The man still had his gun pointed at you, looking at you and then at your surroundings. “So why is there a freshly dead guy on your porch?” It was like he was a detective investigating you. Although, a detective’s attitude would be less intimidating than his.

“I killed him.”

I’ve lived a life that’s full

I travelled each and every highway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way

My father was always a survivalist. He taught me how to make a fire out of sticks, how to hunt — even when I was begging him not to make me shoot an innocent creature, — and, starting last year, how to defend myself.

He said something about ‘it was better to be prepared and nothing happen than to be unprepared and have something happen.’ I guess he was right, at least we’re prepared. Though, I don’t think he expected his 16-year-old daughter to be using these skills so soon.

After the first month of walking through decaying neighborhoods, buildings, and streets, I was put on map duty. I didn’t mind it, it helped me think. I didn’t want to think about who and what was lost, how all my friends were gone, how my life and future were ruined.

Regrets I’ve had a few

But then again, too few to mention

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exception

The walking was the worst part, and although the pain in my feet was unbearable, the pain of walking away from the only life I’ve ever known hurt more. I wished I could have told that guy in my 3rd period I liked him, I wished I told my friends I loved them more, and I wished I could be with them without my parents grieving my death.

I wish I didn’t have to kill. Even though it was only a few, it kept me up at night. I would close my eyes and only see their bloodied faces. I would fall asleep and see them beside me.

I tried so hard to not let it get to me. I had to do it. If not for them, it would’ve been me. Maybe it would’ve been me.

I planned each chartered course

Each careful step along the byway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way

My parents met Tim as they were going on a supply run while we were stationed at an old house. He had been staying in the overgrown convenient store tending to his wounds when they came in.

Dad said the man didn’t even put his gun up just kept his hands above his hands. Mom said he showed them a bunch of supplies that hadn’t expired. They said he was a good man.

I had just planned our next ‘trip’ when they brought him. He was pushy and, honestly, very arrogant. Even if he didn’t show it around my parents. He wasn’t ugly, but I had no attraction toward him.

“I guess he’s just not my type.” I told my mom when she asked why I didn’t ‘give him a chance.’

She laughed at my response, “Well honey, just give him a chance. It’s been 6 years since you went on a date-“

Before she could speak further I interrupted her, “Yeah Mom, 6 years since the world went to shit. I don’t need some guy to protect me, you know? I have you guys for that.”

And she laughed. God, I missed her laugh.

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew

It had only been a few months since Tim joined us. I could see something was wrong with him. His eyebrows were always furrowed like he was trying to figure out the hardest math problem. His jaw clenched when my dad talked to him, sometimes I thought he was going to hit him.

To my dismay, he was much pushier. He would constantly want to be around me, he would always go with me on my runs, and, worst of all, he would not stop asking me out.

After the tenth time that week, I had enough. “Where would you take me out to, Tim? What? The woods? The old diner down the street that’s infested with the infected? Oh! Or do you want to go to the shed by the creek where the clickers are?” I said, no yelled.

His face changed completely. The cocky smile contorted into the same expression that scared me throughout these months. “You’re going to regret saying that.” That’s all he said before walking towards his place of residency for the time being.

Later that night, I woke up to several grunts and pleas. As I tried to move my hands up to rub my face, I realized that my body had been attached to a rope wrapped around a tree. I looked around at my surroundings, I was outside in an open area in the woods. In front of me were my parents in the same predicament as myself.

I called for them. They didn’t respond, both of them looking off to the side. I turned my head as much as I could to see what they were looking at. To my shock, it was Tim standing there. Leaned up on a tree, axe in hand. When I called for him instead, that’s when all three of them turned to look at me.

My mom looked like she had been crying for hours. My father looked furious, a face I hadn’t seen in a long time, his face was bruised and bloody. His right eye was swollen shut and his nose bleeding. Tim looked the opposite, he was clean like he had taken a shower moments before, although, his knuckles were bleeding, and his face. God, he looked ecstatic.

He walked over to me, his axe still gripped tightly in his hand. He looked down at me before placing a hand on my face. I flinched, his face looked like it did that afternoon prior.

“You should’ve just except my fucking date. Now, look at what you made me do.” He said.

I shook my head, “Please... My sorry, please don’t do this.” I pled, but all he did was walk over to my parents.

I scream at him for what felt like an eternity but his back still faced me. He only looked at me when he got in the face of my mother. When I looked into his eyes, I knew he wasn’t going to stop, no matter what I did.

I watched him kill them both with the axe. I couldn’t protect them. I could only cry. The most undeserving deaths. Just for what? A date?

He came over to me quickly after killing them both. I had stared at their corpses for so long that I hadn’t noticed him cutting the rope. I ran to them as soon as I was free. Not long after, he came after me.

But through it all when there was doubt

I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all and I stood tall

And did it my way

I remember when Tim took me from my home. The way he would talk about my parents was like they were some problem in my life. How I didn’t need them, I was too old anyways. It felt like he was jealous of it all, that I had my family and he didn’t. I found sympathy in him, in a way.

‘Maybe it’s the Stockholm Syndrome kicking in.’ I would think. But then again, he murdered my parents because I wouldn’t date him. Who the fuck does that.

One time I brought it up to him, which landed me on the ground with a hard punch in the face. I didn’t talk for the rest of our travel.

One year later, he found a farmhouse. It was impressive, basically taken out of a Hallmark movie. Though my impression of it changed when I got to the children’s rooms, it didn’t take long for him to start commenting about how we should ‘fill them up.’ Fucking disgusting.

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed, and cried

I’ve had my fill, my share of losing

After 13 years of being here, I learned to live — or survive as I like to call it — with him. Sure, I tried to escape a few times, but it never worked out in my favor.

The first time I left, I was gone for a week. I lived in the woods, trying to find some haven which was harder than it looked, considering I didn’t have any access to a map or any weapons. Tim confiscated everything on me the day we left my parents’ rotting bodies.

He found me curled up behind a tree, facing a creek. Fighting him never worked. No amount of self-defense could ever get him down without a weapon. He was bigger than me, and when a stick didn’t work, I gave up.

All the escapes after had been futile, he had set up traps in the woods close to the house, knowing I couldn’t walk on the trail without him seeing me on his day-night searches.

He wanted me to be a stay-at-home-whatever-the-fuck. So fucking be it. I won’t lie, I played the part as much as I could. Whatever would get him to leave me alone. It didn’t work sometimes, but it did for the most part.

So I “loved” him. If love is making him food, cleaning his messes, cleaning his clothes, and letting him hug me.

I laughed at his stupid jokes that I had heard a million times before this shit show.

I cried at night when I had to share a bed with him. Feeling guilty that I couldn’t do anything about this predicament, that I couldn’t find a single sharp thing that could kill him or myself.

And now, as tears subside

I find it all so amusing

He left early that day, earlier than usual. When I woke up he was gone, only leaving a note saying he had gone on another supply run. I scoffed as if we don’t have enough.

I barely know where he goes these days, you would think after all these years, he had found every single store or house, but I guess not.

As I walked to the kitchen, I noticed something abnormal on the table designated for Tim’s backpack. It was a fucking knife.

‘He must’ve left it there when he was searching through it.’ I thought. “Dumbass.” That was all I said before quickly grabbing the handle and pocketing it.

Soon after I was done making eggs — still don’t know where he gets the eggs from, he could’ve at least told me that — he came back. I gave him a short greeting before putting the two plates on the table and sitting down. He sat down next to me, both of us not uttering a single word. It was nice, the silence.

I got up as soon as I was done, cleaning off my plate. Before I could leave, I was entrapped by his arms, pulling me into his chest. I scowl, still not used to touching the horrendous man.

“I love you.” He said. “I-“ Before he could speak any further, I reached behind me and stabbed him the first place I could reach, his left shoulder.

He released me and stumbled away, giving me time to run to the door. As soon as I unlocked and opened the door, I was pushed to the ground, landing on my back onto the dirt in the front yard. Tim was on top of me, panting heavily, his blood and spit dripping down onto my face. I struggled with him as his hands tried to find a way to my neck.

My hands faltered for a millisecond, allowing him to wrap his hands around my neck. I fought with him once more, arms and legs flailing, trying to get him off of me. My attempts were futile. The harder I fought, the harder he gripped my neck.

He smiled menacingly when he saw me losing strength, “You spoiled fucking bitch. After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you're fucking repaying me? Stabbing me with my knife?” He screamed in my face, as I sobbed and kicked.

I accepted my fate, me dying in the hands of the man that has made my life miserable, at least he would leave me alone now. “I should’ve killed you right in front of your mama and daddy.” He said.

Something snapped in me. Sure, maybe it was adrenaline, maybe it was the hatred I consumed for him for years. But I like to think my parents wanted me to avenge their deaths.

To think I did all that

And may I say, not in a shy way

Oh no, oh no, not me

I did it my way

As soon as my right hand felt the unfamiliar, cold object, I quickly grabbed it and hit him once in the head with as much force as I could gain. He was on the ground instantaneously. I got up on her feet taking a few breaths before pulling myself into a defensive position. My hands up and set on the metal pipe securely, eyes focused on the battered man’s wheezing form.

To my surprise, he stayed on the ground, back facing me as he groaned in pain. I stepped closer and kicked him in his backside. “Fucking look at me, you coward.” I snarled, “Look at what you fucking did to me!” I screamed at him, kicking him once more.

This time he decided to look at me. Eyes moving towards me away from the afternoon sky, “Please, Y/N. Don’t do this to me, baby.” He pled with me. And for a second, I thought about letting him go, but I knew that wouldn’t stop him from trying to find me. This had to end.

I took one step towards his battered body before speaking, “I fucking trusted you. My parents trusted you, and you murdered them like it was nothing! You wanted me to think it was nothing!” I screamed, letting out every single emotion I had felt throughout these years. “I have hated you ever since that night. You didn’t fucking save me! You’re a murdering waste of space.” I admitted.

“I saved you.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his statement. “You didn’t save me. You ruined me.” I said, before hitting him again. I repeated myself once more before hitting him again for good measure.

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught

When I was done, the man was unrecognizable. His face caved in, bruises showed through the cracks of his clothes, and dirt covered most of his backside. I looked at the body for what felt like an eternity.

I didn’t drop the pipe in her hand until she made herself back inside the house. Closing the door behind me, walking to the kitchen where I once was. I picked up the knife that Tim had pulled out of his arm, placing it in my back pocket.

I looked around the house, an eery silence following me. As glad as I was that he was gone, the loneliness crept behind me. Not that I’d miss that ugly son of a bitch anyways.

My hands darted to the bags that he had left when he departed, quickly going up to them and ripping them open. There wasn’t much for me, Tim was quite a hoarder. He collected unnecessary things. The bag was no different, besides the cans of food and water bottles, the rest was unneeded random objects. Multiple different pans, silverware, and cups. Clothes that would neither fit him nor myself.

I glanced at his backpack that was left on the table, I aggressively grabbed it and looked through it. For whatever reason, he never let me look through it. Something about him sharing everything with me and he deserved privacy. It was laughable considering that he would do monthly checks of the house looking for secret hiding places where I would put my plans of escape.

I completely emptied the bag, object sprawling all over the ground. I rummaged through them, I stopped when I found a piece of jewelry. “Fucking bastard.” I cursed. It was my mom’s, she said one day, it would be mine. Some kind of generation gift I guess.

When I looked further, I found more of my things from so long ago. It was surprising that he kept all these things but wanted me to let go of all of them, even my parents.

I found my old diary, the mp3 player my dad gave me, and a dusty picture of my family that I had kept under my pillow when my parents were still alive. I called him a bunch of insults before picking up what you wanted and packing them into the, once Tim’s, book bag.

Before I started packing my clothes, I passed a mirror and stopped. I inspected myself, my face covered in his blood, my hands still red from the cold pipe outside, and possibly from Tim’s blood.

I rubbed my face, expecting it to come off easily but it had dried faster than I had originally thought. I rubbed more aggressively, eyes tearing up, whispering, “You ruined me.”

To say the things he truly feels

And not the words of one who kneels

The record shows I took the blows

“Tim was a bad man who murdered my parents,” At that the man’s hold on the gun falters, but still stands his ground, “and kidnapped me. I tried to escape, he tried to strangle me, and I killed him with a pipe.” You summarized.

The girl behind the man sighed, “Joel put the gun down, she doesn’t even have a weapon on her.” She tried to convince him.

You made a face, “Actually, there’s a knife in my back pocket.” You said, making them both turn to look at you.

The man, seemingly named Joel, sighed, “Stand up.” You quickly followed his orders. He reached behind you and smoothly grabbed the knife from your pocket, hands brushing over your ass. “Alright, I believe ya. But I saw that guy’s body, I know what you’re capable of. Do you wanna go somewhere else?” He asks, hovering over you for a few seconds after he stopped talking. He took you in before backing away.

“Only if I get to keep the pipe.” You bargained.

Joel scoffed, “Here’s the deal; I’ll keep the pipe safe until we can trust you, 'kay?”

“Deal.”

And did it my way

jesus christ this is so long y’all… hopefully grammarly does me justice bc i’m not reading all of this 😭

#ruined legacy #the last of us #the last of us fanfic #the last of us series #the last of us x reader #the last of us x you #TLOU #tlou fanfiction #TLOU series #tlou x reader #tlou x you #joel miller #joel miller fanfic #joel miller series #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #ellie williams

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icequeenbae · 4 years ago

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Daddy’s Struggles (m) | BBH

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Dad!Baek, domestic au, established relationship (duh), a slice of life, fluff, a lil smutty(!)

Warnings: some friskiness between mom and dad if you know what I mean, mentions of teenagers watching porn (I’m not promoting it, you guys lol), also this gets fluffin’ sweet get a bucket in advance

Word Count: ~2.2k

Summary: Baekhyun overhears your teenage daughter watching porn. You have to handle a small crisis.

Event: the BBH day @supermwritersnet

Author’s Note: This… came out of nowhere:D I blame my dear beta @baekshoney – we'd once discussed the idea of Baek being a teenager’s parent (in relation to a different story). Don’t we all love dilf Baek though? lol Anyways, this is a tiny glimpse into his future as a cute af father and husband <3 Let’s name him puppydad!Baek 😊 I hope this lifts your mood a little on a day like this!

On that note – happy birthday to our genius idol (aka mochi-cheeked hyperactive puppy), I wish that he stays healthy and happy and on the radar throughout the next 2 years (and forever)!! Don’t be too sad, guys, he’s hopefully going to finally lead a somewhat normal life for a bit 💞 Ok, I’ll let you get to it already~

A yawn.

You rubbed your tired eyes and dictated a reminder for tomorrow morning to your AI assistant. It was pretty late and you had your hands full all day with your kids. And while family time was always great, there hadn’t been a spare moment for you to tend to your own business. But two decades of dealing with your hyperactive yet loveable children (and husband) taught you to make the most out of what you got. So you were doing just that, organizing your errands and sorting important emails after everyone had scurried off to their rooms, and your husband — to the shower.

Baekhyun was quite exhausted himself, so you realized he must’ve gotten in the common bathroom by the time you exited the one in your bedroom. He did that sometimes when you locked the door out of habit. Not that he couldn’t come in, it was just… You used to scold him pretty badly for breaking into the bathroom. Picking locks wasn’t something you wanted your juniors to acquire as a habit. They had enough of their daddy’s traits as it was.

The thought made you chuckle. Your eldest son had already outgrown his father by at least five and a half – gotta be precise here! – centimeters (which made daddy very proud, but also a teeny tiny bit jealous). Despite his height, which, you were sure, was going to break the golden 180cm in the next few months, your boy’s build was exactly the same as Baekhyun’s. His shoulders were broad, his hips wide, and his waist was naturally narrow. Legs long and lean, and eyes always mischievous. He was eighteen and already seemed more like Baekhyun’s best friend rather than his child. Being both the hyung and the oppa of the household, he was the most mature out of the bunch, and always a big help to his parents.

Your middle child, your precious daughter, resembled you a lot. Her wavy hair and her big eyes with the longest eyelashes either of you’d ever witnessed. Seriously, that was the first thing Baekhyun’s friends had commented on when they came by to meet your new baby. ‘Is this even normal? Can she see through those? That’s one pretty baby!’ She was even prettier now, at her sweet sixteen, cheeks still a bit chubby, which – just as her button nose – were definitely an homage to her dad. Not to mention her hands that were even more delicate and exquisite than his.

The youngest, your six-year-old son, was a blessing. You weren’t planning to have more children after the first two until you suddenly thought… why not? Cannot say that you weren’t a little bit under the influence at the time. It was one of those rare weekends when your kids had a sleepover at their grandparents’, so you had the whole house to yourself. Deciding to have a domestic date and enjoy shameless daytime drinking, you indulged in a whole glass of wine before both of you were tipsy and giggling, then you added one more to the mix. At that point, all kinds of crazy things were brought up.

‘We should do this more often…’ You informed your partner. ‘This is exciting! We can walk around naked the way we used to before we had teenagers in the house!’

‘I miss our naked Saturdays…’ Baekhyun whined, almost spilling his wine while trying to sip it gracefully. ‘Now I barely even see you naked with your shower locking obsession!’

Pursing your lips, you dismissed his complaint.

‘After that incident… You cannot blame me for my caution.’

The incident was, well, your son needing to use the bathroom while his sister was taking too long and heading to the one in your bedroom. He nearly walked in on… an adult scene.

‘He didn’t even see anything, Y/N-ah,’ your husband grumbled, but you waved him off, downing your drink as if it was a shot of tequila rather than a glass of wine.

‘I don’t see a problem though,’ he blinked at you, not following. ‘We’re alone. Why not… See each other naked again?’

‘Right. We can also- Y/N-ah!’

‘What?’ You eyed his suddenly enthusiastic form with nothing but suspicion.

‘We can create a distraction!’

‘Hm?’

‘A distraction for them. So that they’d be busy with something else while we’re away.’

‘Hmm?’ You still couldn’t locate the source of his excitement.

‘Lemme show you,’ he slurred, tugging on your wrist to get you up and dragging you to the bedroom.

Let’s have another baby – that was his brilliant idea. Had you both not been such poor drinkers, one of you would’ve thought this through.

Nevertheless, you were glad that you didn’t. Because your little angel, who could sometimes be more of a tiny demon, to be frank, was the single sweetest thing to ever exist on planet Earth. He had his entire family wrapped around his little finger, and you – most of all. How could anyone blame you? That troublemaker was the spitting image of his dad and had a personality to match — just as playful and affectionate.

The chill spring breeze from the window licked at the bare skin of your arm, causing you to shiver slightly, coming back from the land of reminiscing. You stretched on the bed, noticing how protruding your nipples became from the cold even while hidden by the gentle fabric of your nightgown. Pulling the covers up, you grunted under your breath, wondering what was taking Baekhyun so long.

Just as you did, the door cracked open, and your husband sauntered into the room.

‘Ah finally, I thought I needed to go rescue you again,’ you chuckled.

That had happened before. He once used the common bathroom to shower before bed and ended up captured by your daughter, who was around six or seven at the time, in the hallway. She then demanded cuddles, knowing that her father was too weak to turn his precious girl down and send her back to bed. You found them both huddled up asleep on the couch, with your husband’s head tilted dangerously to the side. Terrible sleeping postures always had consequences, so you spared him the agony of the next morning, waking him up mercifully and helping to get your little girl to her bed. This was only one of many occasions – Baekhyun was a softie.

This time, however, he was a bit stupefied.

He didn’t react to your remark and seemed like he was going on autopilot when he came closer and sat on the bed.

You lifted the covers, inviting him to join you, and he followed your lead, still staring at the wall across the room.

‘Yeobo,’ you called, getting slightly alarmed. ‘Are you okay?’

He blinked, the stupor breaking, and looked at you with astounded eyes.

‘I- I think,’ he began, making you shift to face him properly. ‘I think I just overheard our daughter watching porn!’

His voice lowered to a whisper by the end of that sentence.

‘Oh my god,’ you whispered back. ‘How do you figure?’

‘I was walking down the hallway, and I thought I heard something from her room. I didn’t fully register what it was, but now that it processed… It was definitely porn!’

The signs of distress on his face almost caused you to break down in a fit of laughter. You held it in with all you got. Fathers and daughters, the eternal struggle.

‘First of all, ew. Aren’t you even a little bit ashamed to be eavesdropping on your kids like that?’ You didn’t let him protest. ‘Also, how do you even know it was porn, you know she sometimes mumbles and whimpers in her sleep. Like someone else we know…’

Giving him a pointed look, you leaned over his chest to turn the lights to the lowest mode, leaving the room dimly lit. It was always effective when you wanted to help him relax.

‘I wasn’t ea- And you think I can’t tell what porn sounds like? There are some generic… sounds. That give it away.’

‘When was the last time you watched it?’ You murmured, eyeing him curiously.

Of all people, you knew best how short his attention span was. Sometimes it could work to your advantage. Like right now, when you needed to de-escalate this before you could reason with him.

‘I- wh- I don’t know, probably when you were pregnant,’ he recalled. ‘The third one was somehow the toughest on me. You looked way too attractive for a heavily pregnant lady, let me tell you.’

‘Heavily pregnant??’ You scoffed, softening right after. ‘Well, you have a point, he was pretty huge. I swear, if he doesn’t grow up to be taller than Chanyeol, I’d be offended. That boy’s giant head prolonged my healing by at least a month.’

Baekhyun sighed and looked up at the ceiling, thinking back to that time.

‘He was the only one who caused you to tear, right?’

‘Yeah. Which is weird, considering that he was my third one. Ah well, I guess I’m not getting any younger…’

‘Aren’t you though? I’m constantly being asked about my pretty young wife,’ Baekhyun smiled at you charmingly. ‘And you only became prettier after the third pregnancy. I say it’s the hormones.’

Your cunning little plan was working. He was incredibly easy to distract.

‘Tell me the truth, was it the boobs? Or my butt? I did gain the most weight with the little daredevil, that’s for sure.’

‘It was all of you. You always looked so sexy when pregnant, I just wanted to have you all to myself,’ he cooed at you. ‘To feed you handpicked strawberries. And smother you with kisses. My beautiful young wife.’

At some point during this conversation, you shuffled closer to each other, now cuddled up snugly on the bed. Your finger slowly traced abstract patterns on his chest, happily exploiting the access to his skin where his pajama shirt was unbuttoned.

‘Ah, you’re just saying that to get under my nightgown,’ you batted your eyelashes at him, and he shook his head.

‘Maybe a little, but that’s true. And it’s not surprising that people are noticing – you are younger than me.’

‘A couple of years is nothing at our age,’ you murmured, bending your knee and moving your leg slightly up his to get cozy.

‘Well, you know what people say… Small kids make parents younger. Wanna have another one?’ He nudged you gently and laughed at the dirty look you gave him.

‘Yeobo- please don’t make jokes like this. I’d rather look for other elixirs of youth than go through that entire ordeal again.’

You knew that he was kidding, but the thought made you shiver.

‘I know, honey, I know. Like I said, you’re not in need of any elixirs.’

At this you relaxed, melting into his shoulder, and guiding his arm to wrap around you, warming your exposed shoulders.

‘Well, Mr Byun, same to you. Still as charming as two decades ago.’

‘Hey, I’d like to think that I’m more charming now. The experience and all.’

‘Who helped you gain all that experience though?’ You poked him lightly, and a low chesty laugh escaped his lips.

‘Of course, it was my one and only, my young, and beautiful, and smart and sexy little wife,’ he punctuated each compliment with a chaste kiss to your cheeks, nose, lips, and neck.

You squirmed in his arms.

‘Ah, you make a woman go mad,’ you purred into his lips mockingly.

He snickered softly, ready to lean in, but then stopped abruptly.

‘Wait a second- What about-’

‘Baekhyun…’ You murmured as he fussed on the bed.

‘I should probably go in there, and-’

‘And what? Embarrass your daughter?’ You held him down. ‘She’s sixteen, honey, it’s just the hormones. We’ve both been there. Let her be.’ You nuzzled his neck, pressing your lips to his sensitive skin lazily.

His mind was growing cloudy again since your hand was now caressing his inner thigh foxily. He’d probably realized what you were doing by now, but you were right, so he allowed you to sway him into giving the idea of an immediate intervention up.

‘Besides, I’m sure you wouldn’t be nearly as appalled if that was our eldest,’ you scoffed and added in an exaggerated tone. ‘Never took you for a sexist.’

‘But- he’s eighteen, and she- she’s my little girl…’ He mumbled in a small voice, hazed further by your not-so-subtle seduction. ‘I can’t let her- watch that-’

‘Don’t worry, yeobo,’ you whispered soothingly in his ear, slipping your hand into his loose pants. ‘I’ll talk to her tomorrow. Without you. No need to traumatize the poor girl, that’s how daddy issues develop.’

‘You should know,’ he bit back meekly, sighing when you finally wrapped your fingers around his semi-hard length.

‘The sass! It’s almost like you still got it, Mr Byun. Care to impress that young wife of yours?’

‘I sure will, you cunning woman,’ he growled playfully, completely giving in to it and attacking your laughing mouth as he lifted the covers over your head.

A/N: Thank you for reading! As usual, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments/ asks, and if you’re new – check out my Masterlist ^^

#theBBHday #baekhyun smut #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun scenario #exowritersnet #supermwritersnet #baekhyun event #baekhyun fanfic #dad!Baek #puppydad!Baek #icequeenbae fics

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tiramisiyu · 4 years ago

Text

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: Main Story 7-24 Translation

Translation Masterlist | Video

Chapter 7 – Rains of Monte Cristo: 7-1 / 7-3 / 7-5 / 7-7 / 7-9 / 7-11 / 7-13 / 7-15 / 7-17 / 7-19 ♦️ ♦️ 7-20 / 7-22 / 7-24 / 7-26 / 7-28 / 7-30 / 7-32 / 7-34 / 7-35

Content Warning: This section contains topics that may be uncomfortable to some readers (mentions of abuse). Please proceed with discretion.

Vincent found out about the relation between Hang Fei and the boss of the Abyss bar through the moon ornament in Room 1001. The boss requested to see Marius and stated that he had important information. After thinking things over several times, Marius and I decided to meet him as agreed upon.

Abyss Bar

There was no one in the bar when Marius and I arrived.

Bar Boss: Master von Hagen, Miss Lawyer, please come this way.

The boss pointed us to a spot in front of the bar table. We sat as he indicated.

Marius: You must be the one that Vincent said wanted to meet me?

Bar Boss: You’re being quite direct, Master von Hagen. Shouldn’t you exchange a few pleasantries with me?

Marius: My time’s precious, and I don’t want to use it to speak in a roundabout way with you.

Marius: Tell me, what do you want?

Bar Boss: Nothing major – I simply want Master von Hagen to owe me a “favour”.

The boss took a document envelope from under the cabinet and placed it in front of Marius and me.

Bar Boss: Including that foster care contract from before, these are all of the Hang family’s secrets.

Bar Boss: As long as you get this, all of your current questions will be answered.

Marius: You told Vincent that you got these because Hang Fei owed you money.

Marius didn’t follow along with the boss. Instead, he changed directions.

Marius: What happened between you and Hang Fei?

Bar Boss: Nothing much. Hang Fei merely spent some money here, but ended up unable to pay up.

Bar Boss: Master von Hagen, you’re also a businessman, so you should get that no one can enjoy a service without paying up, right?

Bar Boss: So I thought up of a compromise for him.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Hang Fei: B-boss, give me a few more days. I’ll definitely get all the money needed.

Hang Fei looked at the few guards around the boss, starting to mumble subconsciously.

Bar Boss: Mister Hang, you’ve been dragging this on for a long time. Time waits for no one.

Hang Fei: No, boss, please just trust me once more and give me more time. I’ll definitely get you the money this time.

Hang Fei: I can go get them…

The boss looked at Hang Fei, his eyes moving back and forth.

Bar Boss: Mister Hang, after seeing your sincerity, I do have another idea to give you time.

Hang Fei: What idea?

Bar Boss: In this world, there are things worth more than money, such as… secrets.

Bar Boss: If you can find a secret like this as temporary collateral… I don’t mind collecting my “service fees” a little later.

Hang Fei: …

Hang Fei went silent for a moment.

Hang Fei: I do have secrets like this – they even have to do with me.

Hang Fei: If this secret were exposed, I wouldn’t even be able to continue living.

Hang Fei: Boss, this is temporarily sufficient, isn’t it?

Bar Boss: Of course. If you give it to me, I can give you more time.

[Flashback]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Marius: …

MC: Boss, to be frank, this is extortion.

Bar Boss: Extortion? Miss, you’re exaggerating.

Bar Boss: I merely wanted the money that Hang Fei owed me – this is what I’ve done for so many years.

Bar Boss: And no one’s ever been able to lay a finger on me.

MC: You…

Bar Boss: Plus, what Hang Fei has done is much worse than me.

Marius: What did Hang Fei do?

Bar Boss: After the first time he left these things as collateral, he quickly found Xu Yin and the other “protagonist of the secret”, then extorted them of money.

Bar Boss: He immediately gave this money to me and got his secrets back. But…

Bar Boss: He started to get “addicted”, maybe because of the “sweetness” of that particular experience…

Bar Boss: Whenever he owed me money, he’d leave the “secrets” as collateral, then would once again extort those two of their money.

Bar Boss: At the end, he even demanded money from those two that far exceeded the amount owned, for his own frivolous squandering…

Bar Boss: See, aren’t I much more law-abiding than he is?

MC: …

MC: (Although, this does explain why Hang Fei’s family life didn’t deteriorate, despite his gambling.)

Bar Boss: How about it, Master von Hagen? Want to do business with me?

Bar Boss: You just need to owe me a favour to get what you want – it’s a great deal.

Marius: Oh? You know what it is that I want?

Bar Boss: Of course. What you want…

The boss looked at Marius, then at me.

Bar Boss: Has to do with Hang Fei’s daughter, Hang Jiahe, correct?

MC: …

Marius: How did you know?

Bar Boss: Master Lu, aren’t you curious about why I wasn’t stressed at all, despite Hang Fei’s half-year disappearance?

Marius: …

Bar Boss: That’s because someone was repaying money “for” him.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

January 29th.

Bar Boss: You’re right, Hang Fei did leave some things as collateral here.

The boss looked at the woman in front of him, his smile as steadfast as ever.

Bar Boss: But, Miss Hang, you won’t be able to take those things just because you’re his daughter.

Bar Boss: If you want to take those things, then return the money first.

Hang Jiahe: How much does he owe?

Bar Boss: This much.

The boss drew out a number.

Hang Jiahe: This much?!

Bar Boss: I’ll give you those things as long as you repay the money, Miss Hang.

Hang Jiahe: How would I be able to take out this much money right now?!

Bar Boss: Then…

Bar Boss: Like your father, Miss Hang, you can use secrets as collateral.

Bar Boss: You must be someone who also knows many secrets.

Hang Jiahe: …

Hang Jiahe lowered her head in thought.

Hang Jiahe: I can’t. The things I know can be used elsewhere.

Hang Jiahe: Boss, please give me some more time. I’ll definitely get enough money within half a year to a full year.

Hang Jiahe: Within this time, please don’t give these things to anyone else.

Hang Jiahe: I can hand over some money right now as a deposit.

Bar Boss: Ah, alright. I’ve never rejected the pleas of a beauty.

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Marius: …

MC: (Based on Hang Jiahe’s actions, it seems like the boss really does have what we need.)

Bar Boss: How about it, the two of you? Have you thought things over?

Bar Boss: With all I’ve said, you must believe that what I have is what you need.

MC: As the condition you gave to Hang Jiahe was paying money, we can also pay you money.

Bar Boss: That was the condition for Hang Jiahe, not you two.

Bar Boss: My condition for you is something more valuable… that is, a promise from Master von Hagen.

MC: …

I snuck a glance at Marius. But he looked completely calm, even somewhat disinterested.

Marius: Thank you for the information you’ve given us. I will have Vincent compensate you shortly.

Marius: Let’s end things here for today.

Marius then tugged me up from my seat to leave.

Bar Boss: Wait, Marius von Hagen, don’t you want what’s in the bag?

Marius: I do, but I hate being threatened even more.

Marius: I seriously doubt that there’s anything in the world that Pax can’t find out about.

Bar Boss: Of course you’d be able to find out about it with the power of Pax – but you have no time.

MC: What do you mean?

Bar Boss: You’ve already met Hang Jiahe, haven’t you? Plus, I bet that the police have already overturned the charges against Wang Chunchong.

Marius: …

Bar Boss: Then, did you know that Hang Jiahe suddenly came here yesterday with a large sum of money, and bought away a portion of the things in this bag?

MC: !!!

Bar Boss: I saw that she looked very anxious, so I warned her – out of the goodness of my heart – that it would be best to not destroy it for now.

Bar Boss: These are unusual times, after all…

Bar Boss: Based on how she reacted, she listened to me, but…

Bar Boss: Say, if I called her right now and told her everything that just happened…

Bar Boss: How would she deal with those things?

MC: …

Marius: …

Though we didn’t want to admit it, what the boss had just mentioned was at the very bottom of the list of things we wanted to happen.

Marius: …

Marius looked around. When his sight swept over the bar table, he stopped for a moment. Seeming like he’d thought of something, he spoke with a smile.

Marius: If so, boss, would you perhaps be interested in playing a game with me?

MC: !!!

Marius: If I win, you give those things to me unconditionally, but if I lose…

Marius: We’ll go with your deal – I get those things, and I’ll owe you a favour. As long as it isn’t illegal, I can help you once in the future.

Marius: Also, you cannot tell Hang Jiahe about what happened between us today.

Bar Boss: Master von Hagen, you sure have thought things through – no matter what the result is, you can still take those things away.

Marius: But this is your one opportunity to establish a relationship with me and Pax, isn’t it?

Bar Boss: … What do you want to play?

Marius: Since this is a bar, you must have dice here.

Marius: One die per person. Whoever throws the higher number wins. How about it?

Bar Boss: I’m fine with it, but Master von Hagen, I have never lost this game. Are you sure you want to play it with me?

Marius: We haven’t even played yet, so who knows who the winner will be? Plus, isn’t it better if you win?

Bar Boss: Alright, then.

The boss took out two dice and two wooden dice holders, giving one each to Marius and himself.

Bar Boss: One round decides all. Then, let’s…

MC: Wait. I have to inspect the dice and holders.

Bar Boss: …

Bar Boss: Alright, please do, miss.

The boss gave all items to me. I examined the two holders – nothing stood out to me. But when I examined the two dice, I noticed a slight difference between the two of them.

MC: …

MC: This…

Marius: No abnormalities, right, great lawyer?

I was just about to speak when Marius cut me short. He winked at me, as if hinting something. I understood.

MC: No abnormalities. Please start.

Bar Boss: Then, Master von Hagen, one round decides all. Go ahead.

Marius and the boss cast their dice simultaneously. The night-coloured holders flew up and down in Marius’ hand as the die slammed on the walls of the holder, creating a clear sound.

Clack.

Both of them sealed off the holders simultaneously.

Bar Boss: Master von Hagen, open?

Marius: Wait.

Marius pressed down on both holders.

Marius: I will confirm again – you haven’t forgotten the conditions from before, have you?

Bar Boss: Of course. The one with more dots wins.

Marius: Good.

Marius opened the two holders. The two dice displayed a massive difference in dots.

Bar Boss: This… impossible!

Marius: I got 6, you got 1… looks like my luck’s pretty decent.

MC: You won!

Bar Boss: …

The boss looked at the dice and pondered for a moment.

Bar Boss: Hah… as expected of Master von Hagen. I lost.

Marius: Hand those things over.

Bar Boss: Don’t worry, I won’t go back on a deal. Here you go.

Bar Boss: Although… aside from that psychiatrist, it’s been a very long time since I’ve experienced this feeling of defeat.

Bar Boss: I can’t help wondering if you know him.

Marius: You’re overthinking.

MC: …

Marius took the file envelope and tugged me up, preparing to leave the bar.

Bar Boss: Also, I’d like to let you know that there is a portable hard drive and several photos in the envelope.

Bar Boss: There’s a connection between the contents of the hard drive and the photos.

Bar Boss: Hang Jiahe bought a portion of the hard drive’s contents.

Bar Boss: And she appears the most in the photos.

Marius: Noted.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

In Marius’ Car

When we returned to Marius’ car, I couldn’t help showing how excited I was.

MC: Marius, you were way too awesome just now!

Marius: No big deal – just some insignificant talents.

MC: But how did you win? The boss’s die…

Marius: You probably also noticed when inspecting them that his die was heavier than mine.

MC: Yeah, so I was wondering if there was something placed in it.

Marius: In that die, right behind the 1 dot, there’s a magnet.

Marius: When shaking the die, as long as the boss secretly holds another magnet…

Marius: He’d be able to use the opposite attractive force and the relative locations of the different dots to throw a result he wants.

MC: But if so, shouldn’t he have cast a 6? How did it end up as a 1?

Marius: About that…

Marius spread his left hand at me. There was a little brooch there, with a magnet at the bottom of it.

MC: !!!

Marius: Since I know how he plans to cheat, I naturally have to counterattack.

Marius: So before he revealed his die, I touched his holder.

Marius: Thanks to my magnet, the die will change again.

MC: Oh… then how did you cast a 6?

Marius: About that… even the rich sons of the so-called upper class can’t evade the allure of dice.

Marius: I do have to learn a few things to maintain my indulgent rich son persona.

Marius: There’s a certain method to guarantee a chance of rolling the amount you want.

MC: Is that so…

Marius: Mere little skills – nothing to show off about.

Marius: Let’s not talk about these for now – instead, we should see what’s in the envelope.

I opened the envelope, taking out a stack of photos and a portable hard drive.

MC: H-how could this…

Marius: …

When I saw what was in the photos, my hands started to tremble.

There were many photos of children, most of whom were around 6 or 7, and their bodies were covered in numerous purple marks. The photos were taken in hidden, dark conditions from awkward angles, and those children, who should have been running free under the sun, had faces covered with tears. Each one held old toys covered in dust, and some toys were even missing sections, looking utterly broken.

MC: Marius, aren’t these toys the same ones as the ones we saw in the Room 1001 toy display cabinet?

Marius: Yes.

MC: Could it be that… Hang Fei would collect these toys for his own enjoyment?

Marius: Or maybe these toys were what Hang Fei used to kidnap them.

Marius: But regardless of which it is, based on what the boss said, what’s in this hard drive…

MC: The contents have to do with the photos… these photos come from the contents of the hard drive…

MC: Against these children, did Hang Fei…

Were these children victims of Hang Fei’s abuse?!

I couldn’t even finish my sentence.

Marius: It’s not just children – there are also photos of Qi Yu. The only difference is that she’s not holding any toys.

Marius: Also, just as the boss said, one child appears particularly often in the photos.

Marius: If this child really is Hang Jiahe, then…

MC: We’ve found Hang Jiahe’s motive for murdering Hang Fei.

[Obtained Photos of Abused Children]

[Obtained Portable Hard Drive]

#Tears of Themis #tears of themis translations #tot translations #lu jinghe #marius von hagen #未定事件簿

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dontcare77ghj · 4 years ago

Text

Queens and King

Steve x reader x Peggy

Requested by @storiesbystarlight

When you were a girl, your father assured you, daily, you were born to be Queen. Your line was chosen by Odin himself, and as long as your father's blood ran through your veins, no-one could ever take that from you.

Your mother died when you were a babe, sweating sickness your governess told you, and your father never remarried after her death. Leaving you as his sole heir.

As the future Queen of the kingdom, you were put in classes from a young age. Taught every skill a ruler would need to succeed.

For the most part, your childhood was a lonely one. With no siblings to play with and a strict governess who refused to allow you to skip one lesson, you rarely left the castle.

The only time you were allowed to interact with any children your own age was when Lord's and Ladies would bring their children to court.

While you made some friends and many allies, the two you held closest to your heart were Steve and Peggy.

Peggy, born Margret, was the daughter of the English ambassador. Peggy would often travel with her father as she was training to take the role over one day.

Steve was Steven and the son of Lord Rogers. As Steve would inherit his father's mantle eventually, his father dragged him to court for most of the year.

The three of you were always close, even as you aged and became the people your parents had decided you would be.

And so it was no surprise to your inner circle when they found out the true nature of your relationship.

The three of you had been together since you were all sixteen. For half your lives now, the three of you had dedicated yourselves to each other.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

After dismissing your ladies-in-waiting and informing the guards you were not to be disturbed for the night, you let out a long sigh. You had just entered your bedchamber and were undoing your hair when you stopped in your tracks.

"And just what?" You began, gaining the attention of the two on your bed. "Do you two think you're doing starting without me?" You questioned the two with a raised brow.

"You were taking too long," Peggy said, standing and making her way toward you. "We were bored." She said, wrapping her arms around your waist.

"Hm-hmm." You hummed, looking over at Steve. "Did she seduce you, Stevie?" You teased, crooking your finger at him.

"You know how hard I find it to say no to either of you," Steve admitted, standing and walking towards you.

"Is that a challenge?" You questioned him.

"It sounds like a challenge to me." Peggy agreed.

"How did I know the two of you would believe I was challenging you?" Steve sighed.

"I'm Queen. Everything is a challenge." You shrugged a shoulder.

"Our poor darling." Peggy cooed. "Perhaps we should help relieve the burden upon your shoulders." She suggested, dusting her fingers along your shoulders.

"I believe that is a fantastic course of action, Peg," Steve said, wrapping his arms around both your waists.

"Distract me, my loves."

"I had another proposal today," Peggy mentioned. "Lord Pierce asked if I would think about wedding his son."

"And what did you say?" You questioned, drawing circles on her hipbone.

"I told him where to shove it." Peggy snorted. "He proposed his bastard to me, a bastard who openly despises women in power. I'm also with the two of you, so there's really no contest."

"Good."

"I too have had to respectfully decline several proposals recently," Steve admitted. "It seems now that I have filled out women notice I exist."

"Well, they can't have you," Peggy said, leaning up to kiss the blonde.

"Is everything okay, Y/N?" Steve questioned you.

"Lord Stark approached me on my way here." You admitted. "He said the council wishes I were to accept marriage and give them a King or Queen. Tony said I either accept one of the many proposals or announce our relationship."

"Do you wish me to approach him tomorrow?" Steve asked you.

"No, Tony's harmless. We both know that." You shook your head. "I've already told him and the council I won't accept one of their proposals."

"Then what are you going to do?" Peggy questioned you.

"I was going to see what you thought of me announcing our relationship." You told her. "And perhaps furthering it. I wanted to ask the two of you to marry me. We love each other, we always have, and it might put an end to all those unwanted proposals."

"The people wouldn't like it. We're not of your station." Steve told you.

"The people love you, both of you." You said, sitting up in the bed. "I've never seen either of you as anything but my equals. And to be frank, when it comes to the two of you, I don't care what the people think of my relationship."

"And the court? You know the members of the court will talk more than anyone else." Peggy pointed out. "It could hurt your reputation."

"Who cares the pointless gossip the court spreads? We all know it's toxic. There is nothing they can say that will ever hurt me." You scoffed. "So I have this to ask of you, will you please do me the honor of becoming my husband and wife?" You asked of your lovers. "Whatever your answer, I will respect it, as I have always respected the two of you."

"Yes," Peggy said. "I will marry you." She told you, leaning over to gently kiss you.

"Steve?" You asked, turning to face the blonde.

"I've never given a damn about public opinion," Steve smirked. "Let them say what they will." He said, gently cupping your face and bringing you into a kiss.

"My lords and ladies," You began, rising from your throne elegantly. "Your graces, and your excellencies, I have called you all here today to make an announcement.

For many years now, I have ruled alone. And yet today, I stand before you to announce my greatest happiness. Today I announce my engagement to Ambassador Carter and Lord Rogers." You said, gesturing Peggy and Steve to come to stand beside you as the court whispered amongst themselves.

Holding your hand up, you waited for the court to silence before continuing.

"Come spring, the three of us will be wed, and Ambassador Carter will become my Queen as Lord Rogers will become my King." You informed the court.

"Lord Stark, Your Majesty." A servant announced as Tony entered the room.

"Tony, what can I do for you?" You asked, rising to a stand to greet your friend.

"I have news for you," Tony said, taking a seat at your desk.

"Good or bad?" You asked as a servant poured the two of you glasses of wine.

"Lord Rumlow has taken the recent news of your courtship badly," Tony admitted. "He seems to think you should have sought a marriage with his nephew as he has a claim to the throne already."

"Rumlow's discontentment with my rule is nothing new, Tony. You've never bothered me with his opinions before. Why now?" You quizzed the man.

"Rumlow has allied with Pierce. The two wish to petition your courtship with parliament."

"Excuse me?"

"According to my spies, they believe your relationships with both Ambassador Carter and Lord Rogers are against the laws," Tony informed you.

"This is ridiculous." You bitterly laughed as you stood from your seat. "Pierce's standing is as low as it could. What does Rumlow gain from his support?"

"From what've I heard they wish to marry his nephew off to Pierce's daughter."

"Why? What does this union bring them?"

"An heir," Tony informed you bluntly. "They seem to believe if you refuse to break off your relationship with Carter and Rogers, they could overthrow you and place Rumlow's nephew on the throne."

"It's treason to think about such things." You shook your head, beginning to pace behind the desk.

"As your friend, may I make a suggestion?" Tony asked, continuing when you nodded at him. "Do not do anything now."

"Don't do anything?" You questioned him.

"Do nothing. Do not publicly say anything against them and do not approach either of them." Tony nodded.

"Tony, you have always been of good council to me, but this, I don't know if I can sit back and allow the two to ruin my engagement or overthrow me. This is my throne." You said. "This was my father's throne and his before him. I can't be the one to lose it."

"It is your throne, and it will be until your last breath," Tony promised you. "But I have a plan that will allow you to keep your throne, Peggy, Steve, and permanently ruin the reputations of both Rumlow and Pierce. By the time we're done with them, they will never be able to return to court."

"Alright." You sighed, taking your seat and looking at your friend. "My ears are open."

"And you're sure this will work?" Peggy asked you that night. She was laying in your bed with Steve behind her as you sat at the vanity, undoing your hair.

"I do." You nodded. "I trust Tony and his opinions. He's more often right than not." You added, rising to a stand and moving towards your fiances.

"Be that as it may, Rumlow is a snake. A slippery one at that." Steve mentioned as you climbed into bed. "We just don't want you to be blindsided by his tactics."

"I know all too well how tricky Rumlow is. Just as I know, Pierce is not be underestimated either." You said, shaking your head. "I promise I am being careful. We've planned everything out meticulously."

"I hope you have," Peggy murmured. "Because if you were to lose your throne because of us, I would never forgive myself."

"It's true I would feel great shame at being the one to lose the throne Odin chose for my line. But it would not plague me. Without the two of you, my life is a lonely one. I would gladly give up my crown to be with you both." You admitted.

"You shouldn't say that. You are a great Queen. The people need you." Steve said, taking your hand.

"And I need you." You confessed in a small voice. "I can't do this alone. You've always been my rocks. You have been for as long as I can remember. I cannot fathom living this life, doing all this, and not having the two of you at the end of the day. And I understand it's a selfish ideal, but it's true." You told them, taking Peggy's hand as well. "I am not as strong as you think. You are my strength. Both of you are. I love you."

"And we love you too," Peggy said, turning your head towards her and kissing you firmly. "We lean on you as much as you do with us."

"And you are our strength," Steve added, repeating Peggy's actions. "We have always trusted your actions and your decisions, and that will not change now," Steve said as Peggy nodded.

"Good because I can't do this without you." You sighed.

"Especially not this." Peggy joked, lightening the tension of the room.

"You look gorgeous," Peggy said from behind you. Looking up in the mirror, you saw both Peggy and Steve approaching you.

"As do you." You smiled. "And you look handsome as ever, Stevie." You added as they stood behind you.

"Thank you, my Queen," Steve teased, leaning down to kiss you lightly.

"As much as I love to see you both, you do know it's bad luck for us to be seeing one another now, right?" You questioned the two.

"The Goddess of luck has always smiled upon us before. There should be no reason for her to change her mind now." Steve shrugged.

"I suppose you're right." You hummed.

"Besides, I think we've broken too many 'rules' at this time to worry now." Peggy shrugged.

"Now, that is accurate." You laughed as Steve shook his head.

"Are you ready for this, sweetheart?" Steve asked you after a second had passed.

"I've been ready since I was a girl." You brightly smiled at the two.

"Then we shouldn't wait any longer, should we?" Peggy asked, taking your hand and helping you stand.

"No, we shouldn't." You agreed as the three of you walked towards the doors of the chamber.

Everything was about to change.

"Your majesty." Rumlow bowed lowly, as did Pierce beside him.

"Lord Rumlow. Lord Pierce." You acknowledged the two with a nod of your head. "May I introduce you to my Queen, Margret, and my King, Steven." You gestured to your partners, who were sitting either side of you.

"Your majesties." Rumlow greeted, his face turning a slight shade of red. "I thought the nuptials were planned for Spring."

"They were." You nodded. "However, my sources informed me that if I were to wait any longer, traitors to the crown would try to take my thrown from me."

"What villain would think such a thing?" Pierce asked his face a pale shade of white.

"Indeed." You hummed. "So the three of us wed yesterday afternoon with my inner circle present." You told him, nodding to Tony, Knights Natasha, and Clint, as well as Court Physician Bruce.

"Congratulations, your majesty." Rumlow forced out through gritted teeth.

"Thank you. Now, my lords, would you care to tell the rest of the court exactly what you were planning?" You asked as Steve and Peggy smirked when your guards surrounded Pierce and Rumlow.

"Your majesty?"

"Your letters were intercepted." You said as said letters were passed to you. "Lords and Ladies of the court, lords Rumlow and Pierce were trying to usurp my reign." You announced, causing the court to whisper amongst themselves. "The two plotted to petition my engagement on the grounds of illegality. There is no specific law in this kingdom that relates to what the gender or number of people in a relationship should be. There never has been. The letters we intercepted spoke of replacing me with Rumlow's nephew and Pierce's daughter, and that is treason. As punishment, both Rumlow and Pierce will be stripped of their lands and titles and placed into the dungeons."

"You can't do this!" Rumlow yelled as the guards grabbed both him and Pierce.

"They will remain in the dungeons until I find a punishment I deem worthy." You continued, ignoring the shouting man. "Furthermore, their wealth will be distributed to all the villages and towns of this kingdom. It will be shared equally among the less fortunate of my realm." You told the court as Rumlow and Pierce were dragged out of the room.

The court descended into a flurry of whispers. Rising to a stand, you silently watched as the court dropped into silence, waiting for you.

"I am Y/N L/N. I am the daughter of F/N L/N. This is my kingdom. This is my family's lineage. I have served all of you for near on two decades, and I will continue to do so until my own heirs are ready to inherit this throne from me. These heirs will be the children of my King and Queen." You said, gesturing for the two to join you. "This country is in my heart, as it is in your new Queen and King. I hope you remember today for years to come." You said, walking towards the doors with Peggy and Steve at your side.

"You did well," Steve whispered into your ear.

"As you usually do," Peggy murmured.

"Let's hope the message sticks." You hummed to your husband and wife.

It did. The message stuck in the hearts of the nobles and spread to the people.

It had been six years since you married the loves of life, six years since they were crowned at your side. And it had been five years since you gave birth to your daughter and another three since your son entered the world.

Your shared reign had been a peaceful one. There were no wars, no uprisings, and no plague or famine. It almost seemed too perfect, but you were not one to look the Goddess of luck in the face.

"My Queen, what has you thinking so hard?" Steve asked, wrapping his arms around your waist. The three of you were in your shared chambers, relishing in the fact there were no pressing matters of the court to attend to.

"Nothing pressing." You swore, leaning back into his chest. "Just thinking about how lucky I am."

"Are you sure you're the lucky one and not us?" Peggy asked, rising gracefully from the bed.

"Positive." You hummed. "There is not a luckier person in the kingdom than I."

"I think we could find a luckier woman," Steve said.

"And man," Peggy added. "Perhaps all you need is to be persuaded." She teased, standing in front of you and embracing you and Steve.

A grin crossed your face as you looked between your lovers.

"Persuade me, my King and Queen."

Remember all Taglists are open as are requests.

Taglist

@rvgrsbrns @smilexcaptainx @hopingforbarnes @starlingelliot @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @jelly-fishy-babie @skeletoresinthebasement @agent-barnes40 @reann-shitposting @skadikh @summergeezburr @buckybarton03 @sunshinepower17 @bindythedemon @natasharomanoffismywife @keenmarvellover @bbybarness @storiesbystarlight @buckybarnesplumwhore @bromieeeomieee @marvelmenarebeautiful @niki-is-a-thing @pauloonig @abyssiniapleasant @beautybyfire @officalmarvelbaby @acertainredhead @reapersan @adoreyou976 @casperlikej

All women Taglist

@imnotasuperhero

#Steve rogers #steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #peggy carter #peggy x reader #peggy carter x reader #avengers x reader

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dearingbooks · 4 years ago

Text

The Difference one Woman can make.

Late Friday night in June, we had stopped for a burger on the way to the cinema, we used to do family movie nights at the cinema when a new film came out that the majority of us wanted to watch, this time I was the one who was reluctant to go, sadly we do this significantly less now. So, stubborn 2015 me, rolling her eyes and dragging her feet up the cinema steps to find our seats to watch the new Jurassic World movie. Pathetic! I thought, why pay money to watch a movie about a dinosaur theme park! My parents had completely lost it! Huffing and puffing I took my seat on the aisle and sipped my blue raspberry slushie and looked up at the big screen. Ugh! I wanted it to be over, quickly. I sat down and shut my mouth, despite not wanting to watch it, I wasn’t going to spoil it for the others; but I didn’t get why they would want to watch it, I watched the trailer before going, was not impressed, it looked dumb!

However, as much as my pre-Jurassic self would not like, I found who I was during that movie, I discovered a whole new admiration for actors and movies. I found that I related to the main female protagonist, Claire Dearing. She did not need a man, or children, she was so focused on her career and let no one boss her around. She was top dog, and I completely fell for this fictional character. I evolved through that movie with her character, I felt content with being a strong female who put career over family. I wanted to embody this fictional woman; I wanted to be her.

On the journey home I typed ‘Claire Dearing actress’ into google and saw this stunning redhead- Bryce Dallas Howard. I immediately recognised her from movies I had watched prior, and I was completely astounded at her range of characters she can portray and portray them well. After scrolling through her Wiki page and reading news articles about her, I learned that she is the daughter of Ron Howard, one of my parents’ favourite people in film.

“Dad, that woman in the movie is Ron Howard's daughter”, I needed to inform my family that my now favourite woman in film is the daughter of my parents’ favourite people in film. My parents were shocked that I enjoyed the movie despite my loud vocalisation of not wanting to watch it.

Googling ‘Bryce Dallas Howard’ became my new after school routine, learning that she applied to acting school as Bryce Dallas to avoid people knowing she is the daughter of an already famous actor and director, and she had met her true love at nineteen and is still happily married to him. Yet what most stuck out to the self-conscious, body hating 2015 me, was that Bryce wasn’t a skinny twig of a woman that you see in most movies, she had classy curves and promoted body positivity despite some backlash the media gave her. I made a connection with this woman I had never met because I too received negative comments about my figure, yet Bryce took that on the shoulder and learned to love herself. I wanted to feel that self-love about myself that she acquired.

After watching Jurassic World, I explored many more fandoms, and from there I became obsessed with movie franchises and TV shows, actors and directors. I could not give you a full list of all of the fandoms I am in, there are too many to count, and they have all played a role in helping me evolve to who I am today. All because I latched onto one character from one movie I did not even want to watch, one film got me hooked on this life: it’s like a drug. I cannot stop. I also went back and forth with my hairstyle due to this woman; in the movie Bryce has a stunning ginger graduated bob with a fringe, however I never had the guts to go ginger until now; shame the hairdressers are all shut.

Now, almost six years later Bryce Dallas Howard has had great success in directing two episodes of The Mandalorian. Over the Christmas break I watched the show with my dad, sat on the sofa, fire lit, the chocolate Labrador curled up between us, peach vodka and diet lemonade in my hand, hot cup of tea in my dad’s. We binge watched both seasons in a week (it’s amazing) and he was shocked to see ‘Directed by Bryce Dallas Howard’ at the end of one, let alone two episodes. “Shit, she’s come far in the past few years” he said putting another episode on.

Bryce allowed me to find my best friend, Iz, through Instagram; Bryce has brought so many people together it is so surreal. And when I found out that Iz was going to Southampton University in 2019, a 20-minute drive from my house, I was finally able to meet her, because of one woman we both adore. I was friends with Iz for three years before I was able to meet her, I asked my school friend to come along with me so she could film the moment Iz, and I met! We got pancakes and watched the second Maleficent movie at the cinema, it was one of the best days of my life. I was so thankful that I met a truly hilarious and loving girl through this one actress! Because of Bryce Dallas Howard, I have made so many other friends from all over the globe as they too idolise Bryce and together we have created the ‘BDH online family’. A small group of us do regular zoom calls to catch up and chat about the recent photos and updates that Bryce has posted on Instagram, talk about Covid-19 and the types of restrictions and lockdown rules each of our countries has. During one of our calls, we had the craziest idea- Invite Bryce to one of our zoom calls. Bryce said yes! And after a few months of organisation, we had the date. The date was-

My.

Birthday.

The day came around and I was so nervous, it was 11pm exactly. The Wi-Fi had cut out fifteen minutes before the call. I was in tears. Mascara down my face, puffy eyes, I joined the call with a few minutes to spare before Bryce joined it. My mum hung around off camera for the first 5 minutes to double check the Wi-Fi was stable, luckily it stabilised. The other girls had never been so glad to see me, everyone was panicked for me; I could not miss it for the world (despite telling my parents, in floods of tears, that I cannot join and that it’s the end of that).

“Kat! You’re here!” “Happy birthday!” “Are you okay? The Wi-Fi sorted?”

They all chimed, happy to see my little face in the bottom right corner of their computer screens. Luckily Iz was there, otherwise it would have been extremely awkward with only one of us since we are known as a duo in the online family, we have to do everything together, we come in a pair and there can’t just be one of us.

“Shit girls, that was stressful”

I hadn’t realised I was holding my breath until I exhaled the large breath when my Wi-Fi settled, and I was on the call, I fixed my makeup and was ready to meet Bryce.

The few minutes we had before Bryce joined were intense, two of the girls left to get a drink and we weren’t sure if they would be back in time, luckily they did return.

“No way!” One of them, Anna who was hosting the call, gasped “Bryce is in the waiting room!”

We all freak for no more than 10 seconds, we compose ourselves then our faces are reshuffled, and we see this stunning glowing face that we all admire smiling at us. Omg, it's her.

“Hi girls!”

I have never smiled for so long in my entire life, my cheeks hurt afterwards. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining at all, it just hurt as I thought I would only be smiling for half an hour, since that is how long we were told Bryce had. However, we were speaking to Bryce for nearly an hour and a half, she just kept talking and asked us questions! She was so lovely to talk to, so relaxed; it was if I was talking to a friend that I had known for years!

“Before we go I want to all sing Kat a happy birthday!”

My idol wanted to sing me a happy birthday! The other girls were really ecstatic for me, I still can’t believe to this day that The Bryce Dallas Howard wanted to sing to me!

It was both the best and the worst happy birthday song that has be sung to me. It was the best because, well my idol was singing to me! And proposed the singing! It was the worst in terms of the actual song as they were all out of sync and lagging, it was bloody hilarious!

At 10:27pm the next evening, watching a rerun of Game of Thrones on Sky, I got a notification ‘Brycedhoward just posted’, I clicked the notification then see our smiling faces on her page, she posted a screenshot of our call on her social media! The call was supposed to be a secret so other fans weren’t upset. There’s a few snotty comments on the post, but they’re just jealous and to be frank, I don’t care! My smiley face is on her page forever! All ten of us have printed the screenshot of Bryce’s post off and put it in a frame, one day all ten of us hope to congregate somewhere, most likely in America, and sign the backs of all of our photos. I’m still in utter awe and shock- How many celebrities have you seen that would do a free zoom call with some fans? Not a lot, and that amount is even slimmer when they talk for an extra hour than scheduled. Bryce truly is one of a kind and the best idol anyone could ever hope to have.

Compared to a zoom call with Bryce herself, the few times she has liked my comments on her posts feel like nothing in comparison! I remember being so excited, running downstairs to my parents.

“Mum! Dad! Bryce liked my comment! She knows I exist!”

“Was it actually her? Remember when you got a Facebook request from Robert Downey Jr and it turned out it was a fake account?”

I rolled my eyes at her, it was Bryce, it was her verified account. The comment was a book recommendation I had for her, she posted on her hashtag BDHbookshelf and I thought I’d take a chance and comment a book recommendation I had for her, and the chance paid off.

I cannot wait to see what the future holds with Bryce, she has been such an inspiration to me for the past few years, and she promotes such wonderful causes and body positivity! I hope to one day meet her and thank her in person for changing my life for the better, and I think I’ve come up with the perfect opportunity to meet her- Iz and I have decided to travel up to London for the Jurassic World Dominion premiere in 2022 (if Covid lets us!), we’d get a hotel and actually meet Bryce in person, as well as meeting other members of the online family!

Words cannot fully contain the admiration that I possess for Bryce, her soul is utterly and truly exquisite, she has been such a visionary while I’ve been transitioning from a girl who had no idea who she was with no dreams or aspirations, to a woman who has now found so many new friends and now knows who she wants to be.

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