#Ford: oh no the kids are in danger :( I gotta save them!

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

First night at Grunkle Ford's! Running away <3

Ford thought the twins were in danger or smth and busted clean through the door, this man has absolutely 0 chill 💀

[lemonlushff-iy]

Read parts 1-3 here

One Last Ride - Part Four

Kagome picked up another smooth, small, flat rock and tossed it, skipping it down the creek behind the Takahashi's house. It only made two jumps this time. She hadn't realized she was as rusty as she clearly was.

Dinner had been a...strained affair. Inuyasha's father, Touga, had been a bit more receptive to her presence. Probably since both he and his eldest son, Sesshomaru, had known that she was around. Seeing her mash a bowl of potatoes in their kitchen probably didn't give them as big a shock as his mother seeing her hold two glasses of water.

Frankly, Sesshomaru had been practically giddy when they came in. Probably because he was excited to see how her presence would torment his brother.

The mashing was actually a perfect activity for her. It gave her a chance to take out some of her aggression about fucking Kikyo. And everything else. But especially Kikyo.

She was a good woman, huh?

Bull. Fucking. Shit.

What the hell made her a good woman? One good enough for Inuyasha? Was it because she was the history teacher at the highschool? Was it because she went to church every Sunday and led the children's service? Was it because she had been trying to suck his dick since they hit puberty?

She smashed the masher down so hard that she almost broke the glass bowl at the thought, causing everyone to shoot her an odd look. She smiled weakly and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, apologizing as they made jokes about she-hulk.

Her mind wouldn't shut up though..and Kagome quickly found herself thinking about Kikyo again. She was finally getting her chance, huh? Kikyo was finally getting her grubby little paws all over her Inuyasha.

Only...he wasn't hers...and she hadn't had a claim over him in years.

She had needed a moment to compose herself after that, and excused herself to use the bathroom. She stood over the sink, her arms braced on either side of the white porcelain as she just...opened her heart.

He had every right to move on.

He had every right to find happiness with someone else.

She just didn't think that it would hurt this much...but...he had been a huge part of her life for ten years. Since they were kids. She had been so stupid to think it wouldn't be this bad.

She felt tears gathering at her lashes, spilling over and down her cheeks as she heard his father tell Inuyasha to let her be. Great. Let's add that to the mix. They knew she was crying. Stupid dog demons and their sense of smell. She couldn't have one moment to gather herself together in privacy?

She quickly splashed some water onto her face and cheeks, trying to get rid of the most recent thing to completely humiliate her. She opened the door and ran smack into Inuyasha's chest, not expecting to see him there at all.

"Inuyasha?" she questioned, unable to look him in the eye, and she gasped when she felt his hand on her cheek. His thumb gently glided over her, feeling the cool residue of the water against her skin. The heat from his hand was soothing...and soul crushing all at the same time.

"You've been crying," he whispered, not bothering to beat around the bush.

"I'm fine," she dismissed, forcing herself to not turn her head into his palm and nuzzle his hand. His skin was so calloused now...but it felt so good. A working man's hands. Nothin like her ex "pet cat" Zach's hands.

"Hm…" he replied, searching her face before coming to a decision. "Kagome...Pops and Sessh are back. I can easily take you to your mom's and come by later with the car. If this is…" he sighed, lowering his hand from her cheek and running it through the fringe of his bangs. "If bein' here is too much or too hard, you don't hafta. It's pretty clear you've been avoiding...this the last seven years. You don't hafta stop now just 'cause fate made your car break down in front of our land."

"I think Ford made my car break down, not fate," she shrugged, and a smile tugged at his lips.

"You slandering a good American made car, Higurashi?"

"Or an anti-semite. Take your pick."

"You and your causes," he tsked. "They still make the best damn truck I've ever been in. Doesn't mean I gotta like the man."

"As I recall you don't like a lot of people."

His eyes filled with sorrow and he stuck his hands into his pockets, shrugging.

"Probably 'cause a lotta people don't like me."

"I did," she whispered softly, and he looked away from her.

"You always were the exception to the rule, Kagome. All of 'em."

"Inuyasha—"

"—Well? What do ya wanna do? Dinner or home, Kagome. No one is gonna twist your arm either way."

"I...I'll stay. I want to stay. If you're ok with it."

"'Course I am."

Now, she was skipping rocks in the stream waiting for Inuyasha to get a gallon of water together so they could go and check on the rental.

"Beena while since anyone skipped rocks out here," Inuyasha called, coming to stand beside her, jug of water in hand.

"No? You don't do this anymore?"

"Not since...not since you left," he replied hesitantly, dropping the water by their feet and picking up a rock, absently palming it as he looked out over the water. "I wonder if I even can still," he mused before wiping his arm back and flicking the rock forward. It bounced once before it sank and he let out a disappointed sound. "Guess not."

"Might have been a bad stone too, you know," she shrugged. "Why don't you try again?"

He gave her a wry smile but picked up another one, repeating the same movements as before and the rock sank.

"Ooff...Takahashi...how was that even worse than before?"

"Another bad fucking rock," he chuckled, but leaned down and grabbed a small handful, giving her one. "You think you can do better?"

"I know I can," she smirked, flicking her rock and getting two bounces out of it. She turned to face him, throwing her arms up into the air and doing a little victory dance.

"Oh yeah? That's how you wanna play this?"

"You better believe it," she crowed, and she watched as he wound his arm back like a pitcher before letting it loose. It bounced three times before sinking, and he shot her a smirk.

"Guess I'm just rusty," he shrugged, and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't get too cocky - you only did that the one time so far."

"Yeah? I bet I can do it again."

"Oh you do, do you?"

"Sure do," he smirked, tossing another rock, and it bounced three times again. "Man...this takes ya back, don't it?" he grinned. "Remember how we used to do this as kids?"

"We have a lot of good memories at this crick. Like the time you thought you could run away from home by walking through this thing to my house? All ten damn miles? Your dad tracked you down...what...twenty minutes after you showed up soaking wet?"

"I didn't want to do my chores," he shrugged.

"As good a reason as any," she conceded and he laughed, watching as she tossed another stone up the creek.

"What about the summer we were obsessed with pirates? And the one we learned about the gold rush?"

"Oh god, we were soaked all summer! Your mom was good humored about it all at least. Didn't mind us borrowing all of her pots and pans to go panning for gold."

"Is that what you remember?" he snorted. "'Cause I remember having my butt whooped and being made to wash alla them."

"No! She did?" she laughed. "Well...I guess I can't blame her. They would have been filthy."

"Filthy would be putting it lightly," he chuckled, tossing another rock. It bounced four times this time, and she applauded him.

"Alright Takahashi. Not bad."

"You bet your ass! That was pretty damn good! There's no way you can beat that."

"You think so?" she smiled, grabbing a few more and tossing one. Two bounces.

"See?"

"Yeah...well...that's because we're not betting on anything right now."

"So it takes a bag for warheads to make you really competitive?" he asked, raising a brow.

"Oh my...Yes! I forgot that's what we used to use! That's what those little sour candies were called! And then we'd separate them into colors, and the winner got first pick...which really meant all of the black ones?"

"You do remember!" he grinned, tossing a rock into the air once before swinging his arm and bouncing it three times.

"Of course I remember. God...what were the rules? Who ever got the most bounces out of twenty was the winner?"

"Sounds right," he nodded as she tossed one in. "Then we stopped playing for candy," he continued solemnly. "We started playing for kisses instead. Then we just...stopped playing."

"Inuyasha—"

"—Hey. Crazy thought. Let's play one more time. Best outta three. Winner...winner gets to ask a question and the loser has to answer it honestly."

"Sounds dangerous…"

"Less dangerous than when we used to play for kisses?"

"Depends on your definition of dangerous," she replied casually, palming the rock as she mulled his proposition over. She was nervous about what he might ask her. There was a cornucopia of sticky, awkward questions he could choose from...but she really wanted a few answers herself. "Fine," she finally decided. "You've got yourself a deal. But...No saving your question. You have to ask it now, deal?"

"Fair enough," he grinned, tossing the first rock, and she cringed when it bounced five times.

"I thought you were rusty?"

"Guess it's like riding a bike," he smirked. "Go on. It's your turn now, Kagome," he prodded and she silently swore.

Two bounces, and two more throws later, and she was the clear loser. She watched him do a small little victory lap around her, jumping up and down before coming to stand back by the gallon of water that sat forgotten by their feet.

"Alright, alright…" she chuckled. "Stop gloating and ask me your question," she prodded, crossing her arms over her chest.

She almost regretted saying it. All of the light drained from his eyes as soon as he was reminded of the question in his mind. He opened his mouth to ask, then snapped it shut, almost as if second guessing himself.

"What's your favorite color?" he finally asked, and she gaped at him, shocked.

"I...you know what my favorite color is, Inuyasha," she replied, her head tilting slightly to the side as her brows knit together.

"It's beena while. It coulda changed."

"It hasn't…It's still green..."

"Well then. Guess I know now. We should get over to that rental," he prodded, bending down to pick up the jug of water and lead her towards the truck in silence.

They both knew that wasn't what he had really wanted to ask...she just...she just wasn't sure if she wanted to pry. She closed the door as he started the ignition and buckled in, the jug of water in the flat bed behind them. Some new country song she couldn't identify immediately started blaring on the radio, and he stuck his arm out the window, tapping the side of the truck to the beat of the music.

Clearly, it wasn't new to him.

"Do you still like country?" she heard him ask after a minute. "Didn't even think to ask if this was fine. I know it's not as popular out in California."

"Would you stop saying California like that?"

"Like what? That's how I say California."

"No it's not," she insisted, shaking her head. "That's how you talk if you're about to vomit from bad cheese."

"Guess the real question should be why I ate bad cheese...and why you know what that sounds like. You eating bad cheese out in California?" he asked, over emphasising his disdain of the state as he spat the word out.

"No...I'm not eating bad cheese in California. It's just a state, same as anywhere else."

He slammed his foot on the break, making them shoot forward from inertia and she heard the jug of water smack into the side of the truck bed.

"California is not the same as anywhere else. Don't you dare say that, Higurashi. How can you say that, with all them city folk buying up our land to pretend they can be a rancher for the summer? They like the fantasy of who we are. Not the reality."

"But they're hiring peop—"

"—Do not try to defend them. You hear me? Don't you dare start with me, Higurashi."

"Ok," she whispered. It wasn't worth arguing over. She forgot how small minded he could be sometimes. How he could be so...wrapped up in this life that he didn't see the more global picture.

"Glad we're clear," he nodded, removing his foot from the break and back to the gas so the truck could slowly start accelerating again.

"So…" she began awkwardly after a moment. "You and Kikyo, huh?"

"Whatta 'bout it?"

"Nothing. Just... didn't seem that into her when we were younger."

"Didn't really see her back then."

"And you do now? When did that happen?"

He let out a deep sigh as her rental came into view, the setting sun washing over the silver and making it glow. Inuyasha put the car into park, turning off the engine and drummed his fingers against the wheel in thought.

"You really wanna have this conversation Kagome?" he finally asked, turning to shoot her an uncertain look.

"I'm curious," she shrugged weakly, failing at looking nonchalant. "Besides. You know all about Zach."

"So the pet cat has a name," he whistled. "Bet he's a pretty boy too. Those cat demons normally are. Lemme guess - green eyes? Blond hair? Perfectly quaffed wavy locks?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes. And we aren't together anymore anyways - we broke up a few weeks ago."

He blinked hard at her words as they seemed to roll around in his head.

"Now what did he do ta make ya end it with him?"

"Who says I ended it?" she snapped.

"Nothing. Just a gut feeling."

"Well I didn't so...so there!"

His face softened and he actually looked empathetic instead of like he was going to rip her throat out.

"Kagome...I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. I'm fine with it. We weren't meant to be, and it wasn't a good relationship. I mean, it was...but...it wasn't, you know?"

He nodded his head, silently gripping and relaxing his fingers around the wheel as he exhaled loudly.

"Still. I know how hard that is."

"Because of us?"

"You aren't the only woman I've ever dated, Kagome," he smiled wryly.

Why did that surprise her? It shouldn't.

"I know. You're with Kikyo now."

"I dated others before her too...and I think 'with' is a bit of a strong word."

"Then how would you describe it?"

"I'd describe it as none of your business."

She sighed and unbuckled her seatbelt, shaking her head as she moved to open the door. It was open only a crack before he reached over her and closed the door again. He cupped her cheek and turned her face to look at him, his face soft.

"Listen," he began with a long exhale, lowering his hand, "Kikyo 'n I are just talking. We've never even kissed. Hell, we've been on maybe two dates, depending on how ya look at it. And as for when I started to see her…" he paused and she watched him bite the inside of his lip before confessing. "Kagome, I never saw anyone other than you since the day you kissed me after I broke my arm. I was like a horse with blinders on. And then when you left...they stayed on for a real long time, until I just...woke up one day and they were finally off.

But, you don't...you don't get to be upset that there's a woman out there who likes me, got it? I offered you everything...and everything wasn't good enough for ya. It's good enough for someone else though, and you don't get to be upset over that, ok?"

She wanted to tell him it had been...She wanted to tell him that everything he had offered her was enough. She just hadn't been ready.

"And you don't get to be upset over who I date either," she replied instead, not wanting to pour salt on the still open wound.

He pursed his lips together and nodded his head in agreement.

"I don't. What's in the past should stay there...and we should both just...move on."

"Glad we agree," she replied tightly, reopening the door and he followed suit, walking around to the bed of the truck and pulling out the water jug. He made quick work of tending to her rental, pouring the water in and she pulled out the keys, hopping in and waiting for his signal to start it up.

"Why dontcha give it a go?" he prompted, and the engine rumbled to life again. He quickly closed the hood, backing away from the front and walking over to the side. "Sounds like ya should be fine. You got real lucky this time. Don't you start doubting Fords," he smiled weakly, and she returned it.

"I won't."

"Listen," he breathed slowly, nervously. "I...I just want you to take care of yourself. Ok?"

"This sounds a lot like goodbye again, Inuyasha," she mused, and he lowered his gaze.

"Aint it?"

Was it? Did she want it to be?

"I guess it is…" she whispered, glancing away from him. "Goodbye, Inuyasha. You take care of yourself too. I hope you're happy. Truely. With Kikyo or any of the others. You deserve to be."

She turned her head away from him and pulled her car out of park, shifting the gear into drive. She was about to step on the gas when she felt two clawed hands gently grab her face, pulling it out of the window.

She gasped and her eyes widened in surprise before closing when she felt his lips tenderly press against hers in a soft, lingering kiss before he pulled away. The feel of his lips against hers...it was just as she remembered it. Only she didn't remember this painful aching in her chest when they had kissed in the past...Or this horrible need to grab ahold of his neck to bury her face into his chest and just cry.

"Just wanted to do that one last time," he whispered just loud enough for her to hear, almost as if he were ashamed of himself. Of still wanting her. Of wanting what they once had. What they could have been.

It felt so final. Like they were finally closing the book, sealing it shut with glue, and tossing it into a fire so it could never be looked at again, let alone read.

She could only nod and whisper goodbye again before pulling away as twilight began to settle around them, heading down the road to her mother's...the feel of his lips on hers haunting her the whole way.

____________________

I’ve given up. This is me waving the white flag. But I don’t think I can keep doing daily posts...And I do want to have SOME stuff to post on White Day! And I hope you heathens are happy! I’ve been told this one didn’t hurt as much as the last....3 😬

Special thanks to @superpixie42 for helping me make sure Inuyasha’s dialect isn’t becoming too southern/Texan!

Wall of tags! Let me know if you want in or out!

(If you get tagged in this post after requesting tags, it’s because that’s how I’m keeping track of them. If you requested a tag and aren’t there, I might not have seen it so please ask again!)

@clearwillow, @keichanz, @dangerouspompadour, @nartista, @kaze-ranna, @superpixie42, @sticky-llama-perfection, @pinkpigeonstudio, @mcornilliac, @itzatakahashi, @zelink-inukag, @juliatheanimelover7, @csim28, @smmahamazing, @the-lucky-ones311, @cyncyn981, @animemomma96, @ayari17, @underwater0phelia, @sailorbabydoll92, @l-taisho29, @clearwillow, @animelove1313 

[minijenn]

Random Keys/UF Crossover Ideas

Because I’m torn between both of my projects right now and I hate myself, here’s something that’ll only really appeal to the very niche audience of people who read both Universe Falls and Keys to the Kingdom. Basically its a list of somewhat spoilery (for Keys more than UF) headcanons of what it might be like if the Gravity Falls world scheduled to be in Keys was a Universe Falls world instead (in the sense that it still takes place in Gravity Falls physically but like... its set in the universe of Universe Falls (oy I’m explaining too much lemme just start rambling off the random ideas that have been popping into my head over the last several days of this hypothetical crossover of my two stupid fanfics):

For reference’s sake, on the UF end of things, this would take place somewhere around the middle of arc10ish, pretty close to Weirdmageddon as the GF world in Keys is gonna take place pretty close to Weirdmageddon too. 

For Keys, the trip to this world would still take place in the same spot the GF world does, so semi close to the end of the story, as one of the last Disney worlds of the fic (guess it wouldn’t really be a “Disney” world here but ehhhhhh) 

Guess I better give some context about what’s going on in each fic around that time; UF’s is easier to do so we’ll start with that; basically without spoiling a certain upcoming arc ender too much, during arc 10, everyone’s sorta frazzled what between all of the interdimensional travel, worries about Bill coming back and causing chaos, worries about the Diamonds possibly getting involved in stuff, shaken by the recent revelation that Rose allegedly shattered Pink Diamond and so on (basically there’s a lot going on in the leadup to UF’s ending hahaha) 

Context for Keys (again without getting too spoilery (gotta tread even more careful here) is that by this point in the story Sora is basically in nonstop Panic Mode about the whole norting thing thanks to a certain encounter with one Bald Old Fuckhead during the Aladdin world immediately before this; so Sora’s on the run from basically his entire support system cause he’s all worried about unintentionally hurting his friends (and he also just doesn’t want Riku or Kairi in particular to see what’s happening to him cause Disaster Bi). 

Cont. Context for Keys cause that last bullet point was Long: Despite all this fuckin Angst, Sora’s still out searching for the Keys on his own in the hopes of securing the final few for the guardians of light before he can be fully norted and forced into handing them over to the Organization instead 

Not to mention those freak relatively dark/light powers of his are alll outta whack cause he A. Doesn’t know how to control them At All and B. Is Emotionally Distraught so that’s only making things worse

And the entire gang is more or less out searching the worlds tryin’ to find Sora (he yeeted his Gummi Phone off a fuckin cliff or something just so nobody could get in touch with him smh what a waste of a perfectly good cell phone); among the teams that are out doing so include the one we’re gonna focus on here, Ven and Roxas  

Back to the UF end of things, I wanna talk about where each of the Mystery Kids are at this point; Steven is sorta all over the place with, again, the revelation that his mom could have been a murderer; Dipper is hella nervous about the idea of Bill getting his hands on the Rift (even moreso after RMD cause PTSD is Somethin Else kids), Mabel is in that mindset of not wanting the summer to end so they can all stay together, and Connie is basically (as usual) the only one with any brain cells as she’s trying to hold the gang together

(lowkey spoilers for the Keys GF chapters start here) So Sora arrives in Gravity Falls, suffering from all the angsts and anxieties and whatnot and just Not Having a Very Good Time Emotionally/Mentally as he starts lookin around for the Key in the woods or whatever

But lo and behold everyone’s favorite Evil Corn Chip just so happens to be spyin’ on him, and before too long Bill makes his appearance and acts all friendly to Sora, claiming that he can basically undo the whole norting thing (which he knows all about because of course he would, this is Bill Fucking Cipher we’re talking about here)

Sora’s skeptical but at the same time he’s sort of willing to do whatever he can at this point to keep his heart from being taken over by Mr. Bald Old Fuckhead and all Bill is asking for in return is for him to nab some sparkly snow globe that he claims already belongs to him but was stolen by some local family who Bill makes out to be pretty bad so hey, why not at least give it a shot? (dumb, the kid is dumb this is something we’ve established many times over by this point)

So Sora sets out to look for both the rift and the Key (while also being harangued by Xemnas who’s the Org. baddie of the GF world but errrrr i don’t have a ton of ideas about what he’s gonna do yet so we’ll just skip over that for now and focus on somethin else)

Something else being the fact that Sora happens upon a bunch of kids being attacked by a group of Nobodies, so he swoops in to save them even though the kids already look like they’re holding their own pretty well against them (two of them are out here swinging swords around, one’s really handy with that grappling hook while another one has some sort of magical shield? Its weird??? But cool imo) 

So they all team up to take the Nobodies out and following that, Sora meets and mostly hits it off with the Mystery Kids

Mabel is super hype (she kinda instantly crushes on Sora as soon as she sees him even though he’s too fuckin old for her); Steven and Sora radiate the same sort of Sweet But Sad energy so of course they’re best friends immediately 

Connie’s a lil bewildered by Sora (who the hell goes around swinging a giant key like its a sword, that’s just not practical???) but Dipper’s distrustful radar is instantly raised for a a number of reasons, but the biggest red flag he notices about Sora by far is that his eyes are yellow (btw by this point his eyes will more or less be completely yellow and his hair almost entirely white; he usually wears his hood up to try and hide that, but it got blown off during the forementioned fight) 

So the kids were out and about in the woods for mystery hunting reasons, mostly cause they were trying to cool their heads from all of the stress they’re under mentioned earlier (and cause hey, the summer’s ending soon and they gotta spend all the time they can together at this point) 

However, they quickly change gears when they learn about Sora’s quest to find some magical Key and they all eagerly decide they wanna help with that cause it sounds hella rad; Dipper would likely be the only dissenter to this plan, but he’d be lowkey about it, kinda deciding to keep a suspicious eye on Sora all the while (he doesn’t really act like he’s being possessed by Bill, but ya can never be too sure nowadays...) 

So they all set out in search of the Key (Sora decides not to tell them about Bill or the rift just yet, but even so right off the bat he’s basically decided “yes I’m adopting all four of these kids as my new little brothers and sisters and no one can stop me”)

So cut to the other end of things and we have Ven and Roxas who have basically only just met each other face to face for the first time (they’re both basically constantly doin that spiderman look alike meme); they’ve been more or less teamed up to look for Sora together tho, and they both got a massive guilt complex about the whole thing cause they used to be able to directly protect him inside his heart but now they can’t since they’re out of it so they’re determined to find him and make sure he’s OK

They also show up in Gravity Falls, arriving much closer to the Mystery Shack and the Gem Temple than Sora did; since its the closest thing nearby, the boys decide to venture over to the Mystery Shack to look first 

After some brief, confused yet fun conversation with Soos and Wendy, they bump into Stan and that initial meeting goes something like: 

Stan: Who the hell are you two supposed to be? You twins or something?

Roxas: No??? What the fuck is a twin??

Ventus, realizing that Roxas has like 0 real world experience or regard for world order at that moment right fucking there: (oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck) Ummmm YES WE ARE WE’RE TOTALLY TWINS AHAHA AREN’T WE BROTHER?

Roxas, immensely confused: What the hell is a brother??

And then Ford shows up and Roxas looks between him and Stan is just like “ooooh ok now I get what a twin is” and Ven is just like “oh my god I think Roxas managed to catch some of Sora’s stupidity after all asdkjalsdkalsd” 

Anyway after all this awkward confusion is over, Roxas and Ven bring up that they’re there looking for someone, and while neither Stan nor Ford are that invested, they do offhandedly mention maybe the Crystal Gems can help

Ironically enough, the Gems happen to burst into the shack right then and there, taking refuge from the surge of strange creatures swarming outside (Nobodies & Heartless); the Gems are rather overwhelmed by them since their weapons don’t work that great on them so they’ve come to seek Ford’s help (since he’s got all those weapons and lasers and shit he keeps stockpiled) 

In this Ven and Roxas end up meeting the Gems and both of them are just like :O (Ven’s lowkey like, “Aqua would get along great with these ladies, they’re total badasses just like her!”) and the Gems just kinda pass the boyos off like “yeah whatever there’s a fuckton of monsters outside meanwhile where are our kids?”

Stan and Ford are like *shrug* cause neither of them are very good at being Responsible when it comes to keeping an eye on these danger-prone kids and the Gems are just like *facepalm* “Morons” so they set out to find the kids and Ven and Roxas are like “well they know their way around here so why not go with them to see if we can find Sora too!” and so they all head out on a lil adventure

Then a whole bunch of stuff happens on both sides of the plot that I haven’t bothered to figure out; bunch of cute character interactions and whatever; insert possible second encounter with Xemnas in here somewhere where he basically shows up just to intimidate Sora but Sora’s like “no way jose, you touch any of these precious kiddos and you’ll Die” 

Somewhere in here, under... some circumstances, Sora and the MK make it back to the shack but like... everyone’s gone? (cause they all went out to look for them, didn’t even leave a note, fuckin rude) 

They search the house for anybody and then, on complete fuckin accident, Sora finds his way down into the basement (the portal room to be exact) and what else does he find down there but that thing Bill asked him to get (the rift)! 

Though he’s a little confused about why its there (Bill did say some awful family “stole” the rift from him, but none of the MK are awful, they a bunch of Good Kids); Sora still pockets it like a desperate dummy dumb anyway and doesn’t say a word about it to the kids because he thinks they might be too innocent and young to know anything about it anyway (he’s wrong of course because much like him these kids are Traumatized with a capital T but we’ll just ignore that for now)

Still on the search for that Key, Sora and the kids head out only to run right into Stan, Ford, and the Gems on the way out; course, Ven and Roxas are still with them and they see Sora and they’re like :D while Sora’s just like “aw fuck” and runs away from his problems like always

So he rushes off into the woods and who else would show up but that Motherfuckin Evil Corn Chip again who’s like “yo kid ya got the stuff” and Sora’s just like “brb having a panic attack rn” but then he ends up obliviously handing the rift over anyway cause again he’s incredibly desperate for any way out of his current horrible situation

Of course because I’m a sap for Drama, he happens to do so just as all four of the MK show up, having followed him into the woods and ohohohoh boy oh boy let’s just say them seeing Sora just up and giving the rift over to Bill would be a Moment (well, at least for Steven and Dipper cause they actually know what the fuckin rift is unlike Mabel and Connie who still wouldn’t at that point) 

So basically Bill is a little shit and takes the rift, but he can’t actually fuckin do anything with it cause he’s a physical object and he’s still intangible (or somethin like that idk I just don’t want Weirdmageddon to happen cause it would make things too complicated) so he’s like “fuck gotta find some stupid sap to possess so I can smash this dumb thing” and he nearly targets Sora (cause the kid was already stupid enough to help him in the first place so why not?) until Steven ends up being the one to fend him off using his shield 

Bill shrugs it off and makes off with the rift anyway (its like... hovering or something? idk I’m running out of steam) and everyone panics of course, especially Sora cause he’s just like “well shit I certainly Fucked Up didn’t i?” and the MK are both a mix of “YOU THINK?” (from Dipper and Connie mostly) and “imo not your fault Bill’s tricked just about all of us he’s an asshole” (from Steven and Mabel)

Amidst this a bunch of lil things also happen; the Stans and the Gems show up (along with Ven and Roxas), basically everyone is immensely confused (aka those who have no idea what the fucking rift is) and alarmed (those who do know what the rift is) that Bill has what he needs to more or less fuck the entire world over 

So everyone just decides to put everything aside and team up all together to track Bill down and get the rift back before he can break it (there’s a lot of heartwarming trust moments in here, mostly cause trust is like... the cornerstone theme of the GF chapters in Keys for obvious reasons) 

They eventually do find him and *insert big epic battle scene here* where everyone teams up to basically beat Bill to death or whatever (don’t ask me how they be doin that if he’s intangible, again I.... I’m tired and this post is long enough as it is) 

Yadda yadda yadda they beat him, get the rift back and effectively prevent Weirdmageddon from happening to begin with (which just does SO much wonderful fuckery for UF’s timeline moving forward but whatever, this ain’t about that) 

Oh and during that Climactic Battle Scene somewhere there’s some bit about Sora learning to better trust others/himself that leads to him getting the world’s Key? I-I I dunno its a work in progress...

Anyway after this there’s a lot of good character interactions all around, reconciliations between the UF characters and the Keys characters, particularly between Sora and the MK (again he’s adopted these kiddos and don’t you forget it)

So with the Key in hand, Sora starts to leave and Roxas and Ven almost convince him to go back with them until *insert Big Keys Spoiler here that results in the Organization getting their hands on that Key Sora just got and also results in Sora running away again cause... reasons*

And that’s the end of the chapters or whatever idk 

There’s probably more ideas I had in mind for this but I literally can’t do anymore my brain is dying 

I might possibly write this for reals someday i dunno I’m stuck in two personal hells here so I might as well combine ‘em

Yes I’m aware this post leans more heavily on Keys than UF but its set in the world of UF so fuck off 

Feel free to add on with any thoughts you might have about the idea

I’m tired

Amen 

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Beauty Within the Fallen ch.VII

Summary: Two misfit twins come across an enchanted castle, home of a mysterious beast, and slowly begin to form a strong bond that just might survive through anything. Even evil demons.

AU and artwork belong to the beautiful and very talented @artsycrapfromsai​. Go give her some love, guys!!!

ch.VI - ch.VIII (finale)

~~~~~~~~~~

Dipper, Mabel, and Waddles hastily traveled through the forest. They may have a map leading them to Fiddleford and then to the village, but the wolves might still come. Dipper led the way with a lantern he had borrowed from the castle and the map Ford had given to them. Mabel looked ahead and screamed before running with Waddles at her heels. Dipper looked up from the map and nearly dropped it in shock.

He hurried to the tree Mabel was kneeling at and examined Fiddleford. He looked more dead than alive, his skin pale, almost blue, and heavy bags under his eyes. He must have been searching for them this whole time. Without a single word, much like how they helped Stan when he was hurt, the twins stood on either side of Fiddleford and helped carry him out of the woods. It was the middle of the night when they arrived home. It would have been comforting if the circumstances weren’t so dire. Fiddleford might be dying. The children quickly worked together, fixing medicine, building a fire, dressing their guardian warmly and putting him to bed, until they finally admitted defeat to sleep and curled up with Fiddleford in his bed. ~~~~~~~~~~ The first thing Fiddleford noticed was how warm he felt. And better, much better. Oh. No. No, no, no! Did he die?! Is he in heaven?! He can’t die yet! The children! He wanted to quickly jump up and act, but his body was weak and he ached. Oh. Okay, good. He was still alive. He forced his eyes open and though his vision was blurry, he smiled weakly to find the kids at his sides. Mabel and Dipper both beamed at him, perfectly safe and okay. Mabel was dressed in her blue peasant dress and cloth headband, Dipper in his navy-blue nest and hat with an orange shirt. He gave Fiddleford his glasses and he croaked, “Welcome back.” “Kids,” Fiddleford sat up and slipped on his glasses, then wrapped each child up in a tight hug, which they happily returned. “Oh, thank God. Thank God. I thought I’d never see y’all ‘gain.” “We missed you, too, Fidds.” Mabel cooed. “You’re finally awake…” “What on God’s green Earth happened t’y’all?” Fiddleford asked as he loosened his hold. “You wouldn’t believe it, Fidds!” Mabel cheered as she sat on her knees next to him. “There was this beast in a castle and a talking hammer and an axe and a teapot and all sorts of magic inside and a poor journal who couldn’t talk or eat or sleep and…” “But the beast and the journal - Stan and Ford - are our friends. They took care of us.” Dipper cut Mabel off. “Well, everyone in the castle did, but the guys are awesome! They’re twins, like us, and under a curse.” “And we have to help them!” Fiddleford blinked, completely and utterly confused, but then he smiled. “I believe ya.” The twins are a bit surprised, but then again, they were talking to one of the most open-minded people they knew. “You do?” They asked at the same time. “O’course.” Fiddleford said. “I always said this world’s gotta lotta thangs we don’t quite get. Some thangs are just different, like us. N’ I trust y’all enough to know ya wouldn’t lie ‘bout this. Now, y’all said they’re under a curse?” “Yeah, and to break it, Stan the beast has to fall in love with someone and they have to love him, too.” Mabel answered. “We were gonna try to help by finding a match for him, courtesy of the best matchmaker in the world!” “Hm, well, if…” Fiddleford stopped when he thought he heard yelling coming from outside. “Did y’all hear that?” “Yeah, what’s going on?” Dipper asked and they went outside to investigate. ~~~~~~~~~~ Stan sat on Abuelita the armchair, watching the sun set behind the woods. His mind was elsewhere. Ford, his journal closed, noticed this and wished to help or comfort him, but the beast, back in his normal attire of red cloak over a white shirt and dark pants, was too distracted to open a journal and read at the moment. The sun was now gone, all light but from candles lost, and Stan sighed. He needed to say something. He cautiously opened the journal and said, “I’m sorry, Stanford. I’m sorry I couldn’t set you free.” Stanley, was the only word for a while, but then Ford managed to write more. You were willing to let me go. Thank you. “No,” Stan shook his head. “It’s my fault you’re trapped.” Don’t blame yourself. I’m the one that summoned Bill in the first place. I fell for his easy flattery, but you saw him for the scam artist he is. “I didn’t exactly make this curse easier for you.” No, perhaps not. Ford admitted, but then quickly added, But your heart was in the right place. You’ll never admit this but you were afraid. I understand; when the curse was first brought upon us neither of us knew how to respond. Accidents happen, Stanley. “Yeah, and I’m chop full of ‘em.” Even still, I won’t lie to you. All those years you never opened me, kept me in that glass container, I nearly went insane. There were so many times I didn’t know if I existed anymore. That wasn’t even the worst of it. All I could do was listen and watch you suffer alone. “I know, I know!” Stan growled. “That was probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, and I’ve done some really stupid stuff, and I’m sorry.” It’s alright. I forgive you. I should have been a better brother to you. I should have seen your pain and done something about it years ago. “And now you’re gonna die like this.” Stan said darkly. As will you. “Who cares?” I do! And those children care, too! The tiniest of smiles flickered on the beast’s face. His memory brought back those kids for a moment, a beautiful, glorious moment. Dancing with them, reading stories, teaching Dipper how to fight and hugging Mabel close to his furry chest. You miss them, don’t you? Stan sighed, a tired old man. “Yeah. I love them.” I know you do. And because you love them, they will be with you, in your heart, for evermore. Stan, once again, cracked a small smile at that. He had no idea if they found Fiddlebucket or not, or if they ever made it home, but he hoped that they were safe and happy. Do you wish to see them? Ford asked. Look at my hand. You can see them whenever you want. Stan, excited, closed the journal and looked at the six-fingered hand. He grinned at the sight of the children, standing at a front door with an old man with a long beard and big nose. His smile dropped when the children looked scared and uncertain. He watched as echoes of voices grazed his large ears. “What’s going on?!” Dipper asked. “What are you all doing?!” “Dipper!” Lazy Susan gasped. “Mabel! You’re okay!” “But… how…” Blubs stuttered. “Gideon says you were kidnapped by some beast in a castle!” “What?!” Mabel gasped and shook her head wildly. “No, no! He saved us! He saved our lives! He’s our friend!” Stan beamed with pride. Lil’ Gideon paled. “I… I don’t understand. Y-You were t-t-trapped by a monster!” “He’s not a monster!” Dipper snapped. “Mabel’s telling the truth! The beast wouldn’t hurt anyone. He gave us a place to stay and took care of us.” “Yeah!” Mabel said as she and Dipper left the porch of their home to talk to the angry crowd. “He’s sweet and kind and gentle. You don’t have to be afraid of him. He’s a very good person. He even liked Waddles!” “No, I don’t!” Stan growled with a smile, unheard by everyone except for Abuelita and Ford. The old armchair rolled her eyes, knowing her boss was lying. Gideon’s face reddened, his chubby face curling inward in fury. “Of course! The beast has them under his spell! I’ve heard of dark magic like this, but never before seen it with my own eyes!” “What, no!” Mabel cried out. “Officers, you don’t believe him, do you? You won’t let this happen, will you?” “Sorry, kids, but we trust Gideon over a couple of odd-balls like you.” Blubs said coldly, arms crossed over his chest. “And nothing short of a miracle could ever change that.” “NO!” The kids shrieked and turned to Fiddleford. “Fiddleford, tell them!” Dipper called. “Tell them it’s not true!” The angry mob laughed. “You’d put your word on a loony old man?! The same guy that destroyed the town three times just this month?!” Durland cackled. “I done rebuilt it every time!” Fiddleford defended. Gideon stood on his dazzling white horse and called out to the townsfolk, “You see?! The spell spreads! Look at what the monster has done to our poor friends!” “He’s not a monster, Gideon,” Mabel snarled and pointed at the white-haired boy. “YOU ARE!” “ENOUGH!” Gideon hopped down and grabbed her wrist so tight she winced in pain. Stan growled dangerously. Dipper yelled and was about to act, but Ghost Eyes grabbed a hold of him. “Don’t worry, Mabel, once I kill the beast and the spell is broken, you shall finally be my queen! Keep them safe! Lock them away! We can’t have them gettin’ in our way!” “NO!” Mabel cried out as a big beefy man grabbed her and shoved her, Dipper, and Fiddleford into a cart and it was locked up. “HELP! HELP US!” Dipper rammed his body against the iron doors to try to escape, but it was useless. “The beast will come after us all! He’ll come after us in the night!” Gideon called out to the crowd, who cheered and yelled. “I say we kill it!” “YEAH!” “NO!” Mabel cried as tears ran down her face. “DON’T HURT HIM, PLEASE!” “We're not safe until he's dead!” Northwest concluded. “He'll come stalking us at night!” Mr. Valentino gasped. “Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite!” Manly Dan cried out, hugging his three sons so tight their faces turned blue. “He'll wreak havoc on our village if we let him wander free!” Lazy Susan feared. “So it's time to take some action, fellas!” Gideon called out. “It's time to follow me!” And the crowd began to gather guns, torches, pitchforks, and chanted “kill the beast” courageously into the night. Stan stood up quickly and left the armchair, throwing the door open. “Soos! Wendy! Get over here!” Soos and Wendy hopped over as quick as they could. “We’ve got a code Piertotum Locomotor! Man the boundaries! Protect the castle! Get ready for battle! Go, go, go!” And the beast left to organize the attack, all the while he couldn’t shake away the blossoming feeling that those kids were willing to risk their lives for him. Maybe he was worth it, after all. ~~~~~~~~~~ Even after the mob marched away, Dipper continued to throw himself against the doors, making loud bangs but no progress. “DIPPER, STOP!” Fiddleford grabbed him and rubbed his shoulders. “You’ll hurt yourself, calm down.” “We have to do something!” Dipper cried out. “This is all our fault! They’ll kill him! We have to help!” “Hush, boy, hush.” Fiddleford hugged him and rubbed circles into his back. “We’ll think o'somethang. We are three geniuses, after all.” Mabel looked out the window, though the bars, and tried to find something that could help. Her eyes dazzled at the sight of her pig as he ran up to the cart and oinked. “WADDLES! Waddles, we need your help! Go get us a pry bar! You can do it, Waddles, go find one! Good pig!” “Mabel,” Dipper scolded. “He’s just a pig! There’s no way he even knows what a pry bar is!” “C’mon, Dipper, have faith!” “No, no! YOU need to be realistic! I love Waddles, too, Mabel, not there’s no way he’s gonna…” The pig squealed with joy and the three humans peered down to find a ring of keys in his mouth. Mabel gave her brother a sassy look. “Well, it’s not a pry bar.” Dipper quipped. Waddles tossed the keys in the air and Fiddleford put his arm through the window and caught them. He pushed himself against the door and started to fiddle with the lock and the keys. “One of these gotta be it…” ~~~~~~~~~~ Manly Dan led the team to chop down a huge pine tree and cut it so they could use it as a battering ram. The mob hoisted it on it’s shoulders, following Gideon on his noble steed and Ghost Eyes marching beside him. “Take whatever booty you want, but the beast is mine!” He called out, using the map Gideon had woken up with in his fist to find their way. Gideon grinned to find the castle before them and they ran up to the giant doors. Miraculously, it only took one hit and the doors flew open, giving the invaders a false idea that this would be easy. They found the castle filled with items in the lobby, like a rich yard-sale. Gideon left his horse outside and led the crowd into the dark and quiet castle. Books, chairs, chests, dishes, nearly every type of item surrounded the unafraid villagers. Ghost Eyes leaned down to whisper to Lil’ Gideon. “Aren’t you worried this place might be haunted?” “Don’t lose your head, Ghost Eyes.” The bodyguard picked up an axe from a table and held it, ready to attack anything that may come his way. “NOW!” The axe cried out, and the castle lit up with life as the battle began. Drawers smacked people in the face. A coat-rack boxed with one of Manly Dan’s sons and won quickly. Pots fell on people's heads and clashed with metal spoons and pans, making their ears ring. A chest consumed people and dumped them back outside like dumping out trash. Grenda stood from the second floor and cried out, “GRENDA’S JOINING THE PARTY!” and she fell on top of Ghost Eyes. Gideon dodged out of the fight and went up the stairs. Three men were coming towards her to attack, but Grenda had cloth and material swarm around them and soon they were dressed in drag. Two of the boys screamed in horror and ran, but Tad Strange only stared ahead and said calmly, “This is fine.” Robbie was kicking tea cups and trying to squish them, but Candy hung from the above chandelier and spilt boiling hot tea on the crowd. Wendy was running away from Manly Dan’s own axe, but Soos came out of nowhere and hammered him in the face, knocking him out cold. Melody burst through the doors of the ballroom and shot her keys like bullets. Meanwhile, using Ford’s given map, Dipper, Mabel, Fiddleford, and Waddles were running up to the castle and gasped to find the battle before them. “Hurry!” Mabel cried out and they hurried up to the front door. Fiddleford used his banjo to swing at people’s heads. Waddles bit people’s ankles. Killbone was about to go after Fiddleford for helping the enemy, but Lazy Susan hit him over the head with her rolling in, knocking him out cold. “Susan?! But I thought…?” “I’m sorry, old friend, I just didn’t wanna be locked up.” Lazy Susan explained as she and Fiddleford fought back-to-back. “Claustrophobic. Plus I could’ve very well fight the bad guys locked away, could I?” “Ah, gotcha. Well then!” Fiddleford swung his banjo and hollered, “Fight like a hillbilly, woman!” Mabel and Dipper punched people and shoved them out of the way as they hurried up to the West Wing to make sure their friends were okay. ~~~~~~~~~~ Minutes prior, Gideon cautiously opened the door, a bow and arrow in his chubby hands. His eyes immediately landed on the handsome journal on the table. He noticed the six fingers on the golden hand and he hypothesized that this journal must have the answer to undoing the spell Mabel was under. No wonder it was so well cared for while everything else in the room was ruined beyond repair. Gideon walked into the room to take the journal, but the door slammed behind him and he spun around, arrow ready to shoot. His eyes widened at the huge gray beast before him, peering down at him with cold brown eyes and on all fours like an animal. “Last chance, kid.” The beast growled warningly. “Get out before things get ugly.” “You mean uglier than you, never!” Gideon declared and shot his arrow. Stan dodged it, but soon saw that it was a distraction so the little troll could run to Ford. The beast tried to get their first, but just a few feet shy and Gideon had the journal in his chubby hands. “I got it! I got it!” “Give it back.” Stan snarled. “Why?” Gideon asked coldly with a wicked smile. “Why’s it so important, monster?” “Just give it to me.” Stan was careful to sound firm, but he looked in no hurry to hurt a kid or his brother. Gideon opened the journal to find it blank. He flicked through the pages roughly, losing his temper, and when he concluded that the answers he was looking for were not here, he ripped a page out and yelled in fury. Stan grunted and sunk, like he was in pain. Gideon noticed this and grinned as an idea came to his twisted mind. This journal must be the source of his powers! Destroying it would free Mabel! Gideon ripped out another page, then another, and another. Stan growled on all fours and curled in on himself in overwhelming pain. He tried to shake his head and clear away the distraction, but he could practically hear Ford’s screaming in his ears, even if it was only his imagination, and it was maddening. “Stop it… stop it… STOP IT!” Stan gnarled at Gideon. “Or what, huh?” The child mocked. “What are you gonna do, huh? Huh?! Face it, foul creature, without this book you’re nothing!” He laughed and tore out another page. Gideon suddenly cried out in pain and dropped the journal. Stan huffed and puffed to try to compose himself. He looked up to see Dipper and Mabel standing in front of him, facing Gideon, both of them wearing scary looks and Dipper had his fists curled and ready to strike again. Gideon rubbed his pale chubby cheek. “Ow! What the… how did you…?” “Doesn’t matter.” Dipper snapped. “You’re leaving. Now.” “Oh, am I, boy?” And Gideon ran to him to punch him. While the boys punched each other and fought, Mabel hurried to Stan and petted his shoulder, trying to soothe him and help him feel better. “Stan? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Hazy still, Stan weakly looked up at the girl and smiled. “Mabel… you came back.” “Of course we did.” She looked back at the fight and saw that Gideon was having a slight advantage. He shoved into Dipper and they both fell through and broke a window, toppling down the roof. Mabel and Stan yelled with worry and ran after them. The boys tumbled and rolled, punching and slapping each other. Dipper fell on a balcony and groaned with ache while Gideon squealed and kept on going. He fell on a slanted roof and staggeringly got up. Like a scrawny cat, he climbed up to Dipper and kicked him in the jaw. Dipper quickly rolled up on his feet and used the lessons Stan had taught him to fight. Mabel quickly slid down the slanted tile roof and jumped into the fight. She punched Gideon in the jaw and found that his stuck-up traditions made him not hit a girl. She and Dipper took advantage of this weakness and worked together to beat up their enemy until he fell and didn’t get up. He rubbed a swollen black eye and looked up at the angry pre-teens before him. The beast, he noticed, was over on the next roof and letting the twins handle their own battle with a huge smile. “Listen, Gideon,” Mabel said coldly. “It’s over. I will never ever be with you.” “Yeah!” Dipper backed up and Mabel kicked him in the head, just hard enough to knock him out cold. Stan hopped down behind the twins and had his hands on his hips. “Nice technique, pumpkin.” “Stan!” They both cried out with relief and ran up to him. Stan got on one knee and engulfed them in a hug. Mabel nuzzled her face into his fur and Dipper held him tightly. “We’re so sorry, we tried to stop them but they wouldn’t listen to us!” The boy said. “It’s okay, kid, it’s okay.” Stan soothed and rubbed his back as he purred. “I know.” “You know?” Mabel gasped with a huge grin. “Ford! He showed you, didn’t he?! You asked to see us, didn’t you?!” Stan shrugged and put the kids down to ruffle their hair. “What can I say, I missed you knuckleheads.” Mabel squeezed his paw. “We missed you, too, Stan.” Meanwhile, Gideon’s one unswollen eye opened yellow and slit, like a cat’s. He rose and flexed his fingers and arms, getting used to his body. Standing with his back to the happy reunion, he began to cackle evilly. A chill ran down Stan’s spine. His grip on the twins tightened. “I know that laugh.” Dipper’s jaw dropped. “No… it couldn’t be… it’s impossible...” Gideon turned around and they saw his eye. Stan growled protectively and hunched over the kids. “Bill Cipher.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note: I have nothing to say. Except the code Stan used as a reference to the spell McGonagall used during the Battle of Hogwarts. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope y’all enjoy an upcoming chapter full of angst!

[anistarrose]

Stan and Ford Vs. The Future - Chapter 4

Summary: The elder twins struggle to set aside their differences as they battle their younger selves in gladiatorial combat.

Warnings: none

AO3: archiveofourown.org/works/17353937/chapters/40832153

Aaaaand here’s the final chapter! This was a ton of fun to write, but I’m not going to lie, I’m also really glad that I can finally live without this unfinished WIP haunting me like a ghost seeking vengeance on the one who abandoned it.

For @stanuary Week 4: Fight.

***

TIME CHALLENGE 1

OBJECTIVE: Venture into the mirror maze and shoot the Time Target with a Time Laser Gun! There are two lasers to be found, but only one target, so whoever hits it first wins!

Both pairs of twins stand facing entrances on opposite sides of the formidable looking maze, and make a mad dash inside as soon as the buzzer sounds.

“We’ll find what we’re looking for faster if we split up. Why are you following me?” the old Ford shouts.

“I’m not following you! You’re just looking at your own reflection!” the old Stan yells back.

“Wait, really?” Ford turns around, squinting suspiciously, only for Stan to trip him and rush ahead.

“Of course not! Now move aside, slowpoke!”

“Fuck you!” Ford leaps to his feet and gives chase.

“Aha!” Stan stumbles across a pedestal with a massive metallic laser gun plugged into it. “Now, where’s that target —”

“Hand that thing over right now, you knucklehead!” Ford orders. “You’ve never shot a laser gun in your life — I have!”

Stan ignores him and adjusts his grip on the gun, only for Ford to tackle him and knock them both onto the ground as a stray laser blast shoots into the sky.

“I got here first, asshole!”

“Only because you tripped me!”

“Well, then maybe you shouldn’t have been so gullible!”

“Call me gullible one more time, and I swear —” Ford tries to wind up for a punch, but he’s hopelessly tangled in the laser gun’s power cord, along with Stanley. “Shit!”

The two older twins watch helplessly as Ford’s younger self darts by, pausing every few feet to adjust the angle of an individual mirrored panel in the wall.

“Wait, you can move those?” the older Ford gasps. “I didn’t even realize —”

“Yeah, of course you didn’t, Mister Gotta Be the Big Hero Who Shoots the Cool Gun and Saves —”

“Alright, Stan!” young Ford hollers, cupping both hands to his mouth. “Fire away!”

A red laser beam whizzes over the older twins’ heads, ricocheting off mirror after mirror. A fraction of a second after it zooms out of view, a fiery explosion erupts from near the middle of the maze, and the cannons atop the walls launch neon streamers and confetti into the air.

“We did it!” young Ford cheers, rushing off into the maze again to reunite with his brother.

“Great job, poindexter,” Stan mutters. “Ya think they’ll cut us out of these power cords for the next challenge, or are we just gonna be at a handicap for that one?”

Ford groans. “As if we’re not already at a handicap with your pathetic excuse for teamwork!”

“Says the guy who hit me with a flying tackle that almost made me shoot my eye out!”

TIME CHALLENGE 1 COMPLETE

YOUNG: 1, OLD: 0

*

TIME CHALLENGE 2

OBJECTIVE: Navigate the obstacle course while trapped in a bubble with your teammate!

Each pair of brothers is enclosed in their own translucent sphere, which robots then roll onto a downwards slope dotted with obstacles ranging from bowling pins to Cosmic Sand pits.

“What even is this? Some kinda hamster ball?” the older Stan pants, running in place inside the bubble so he doesn’t fall. “Wish I had Mabel on my team instead — then we might actually be winning some of these games.”

Ford body-slams him and their sphere veers off course, rolling straight into a grid of lasers that shred it to bits. As the laser beams momentarily flicker, Stan and Ford dive to safety — just in time to get run over by their young opponents, who are cheering and practically bouncing off the walls like they’re having the time of their twelve-year-old lives as their sphere rolls between the two flags that mark the end of the course.

YOUNG: 2, OLD: 0

*

*

TIME CHALLENGE 5

OBJECTIVE: Cross the finish line first on your team’s Time Bike!

“Stanley, this isn’t working.”

“I dunno, what makes you say that?” Stan shoots back, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “No shit it’s not working, Ford!”

“I’m serious! We need to start putting aside our differences and working together, lest those kids wish their own personal fountain of youth into existence —”

“So you’ll be a better teammate? Cool, cool, I’m up for that.” Stan gestures to the neon motorcycle at his side. “You can start by riding in the back and letting me steer.”

“Are you kidding? You’re the one who needs a major attitude adjustment —” Ford cuts off, interrupted by the roar of an engine behind him.

“Hurry up, you old geezers! We’re already on our victory lap!”

The young Stan drives his team’s motorcycle right between the old twins, sticking his tounge out at the older Stan. Young Ford is standing atop the handlebars, smiling smugly and flipping the bird with two fingers on each hand.

“I always wanted to do this, and as long as I’m here, there’s no way Mom will ever find out and ground me for it!”

YOUNG: 5, OLD: 0

*

*

TIME CHALLENGE 7

OBJECTIVE: Cross the pit of deadly Time Traps to simultaneously press the buttons on each side!

All four contestants are unceremoniously dumped onto a floating clock platform, nearly tripping on the spinning minute hand. Other circular clocks of various sizes float next to their central platform, forming two distinct paths that each lead to a glowing red button — one on each side of a giant pit, lined with spikes and infested with hissing snakes that coil in the shapes of infinity symbols.

“You go left, I’ll go right!” the old Stan shouts, and for once, his brother listens, vaulting over the slowly rotating hour hand and onto the next platform with ease. Stan heads in the opposite direction, followed by the young Ford — but Stan keeps a solid lead thanks to his height advantage, while young Ford quickly gives up on jumping over the clock hands and starts just ducking under them instead.

“You ready, Sixer?” the old Stan calls, his hand hovering just a few inches above the button. “In three, two — oh, come on! What are you doing?”

The old Ford stands at the edge of a platform close — but not directly adjacent — to the goal, and he leans precariously over the edge. Stan is seconds away from cursing his brother out when he sees who Ford’s holding onto for dear life — the young Stan, hanging off the edge with his feet dangling just inches away from the fangs of three massive, uncoiled snakes.

“Look out!” the old Stan shouts as the minute hand whirls around towards his brother and younger self. Just in the nick of time, Ford heaves the young Stan out of danger and lets the two of them tumble backwards onto the platform, landing on their backs and barely fitting into the space underneath the minute hand as it whirls by.

“Well,” the old Ford says quietly, “that’s going to hurt tomorrow.”

“Why did you save me?” the young Stan whispers. “I thought — I thought you hated me…”

“What? I — you’re my brother! I don’t hate you…”

“But you will.” Stan turns over on his side, facing away from Ford to instead stare at his older self on the other side of the pit. The old Stan immediately looks away. “You hate him.”

Ford takes a full revolution of the clock to reply. “I’m angry with him. I hate what happened to my life, because of things that you — things that he did. But… I don’t hate him.”

“Then prove it.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Start acting like you don’t hate him. Give me a reason to believe you.”

Stan gets to his feet, jumping to the final platform and then to solid ground before Ford can even stand up. He swings his fist towards the button — but a second before pressing it, he hesitates, and glances to the young Ford, who nods.

“You guys deserved this win,” he tells the elder twins, backing away from the button. Across the pit, the young Ford does the same. “But we’re not showing mercy again, got it?”

The old twins press the buttons in sync, and the clock platforms plummet into the pit, shattering into neon-colored shards on the spikes.

“THAT CHALLENGE USUALLY HAS MORE CASUALTIES!” Time Baby pouts. “AT LEAST THE NEXT LEVEL WILL MAKE UP FOR IT!”

YOUNG: 6, OLD: 1

*

TIME CHALLENGE 8

OBJECTIVE: Cross the Time Bridge without falling into the tank of hungry Time Sharks!

In stark contrast with the rest of the arena’s sleek futuristic look, the two parallel bridges look ancient and decaying. The young twins immediately dash across theirs, paying no mind to the rickety planks or fraying rope, and the old Stan hesitantly puts his first foot forward onto his team’s bridge. It sways, but seems to hold.

“This is unfair!” the old Ford complains. “The kids only made it across because they weigh a mere fraction of what we do!”

“Finally, something comes out of your mouth that I can agree with,” Stan mutters as the sharks below take notice of his struggle and start swimming towards him. “Oh, come on! I’m sure I taste terrible!”

“Be careful, Stanley! You need to take lighter footsteps —” Ford shouts as Stan breaks into a run, but Stan ignores him — and sure enough, one of his feet punches straight through a rotten plank. He manages to grab the rope again and lift himself barely out of range of the sharks, even as they jump out of the water and try to chomp down on his legs, but the bridge is swaying too much for him to get much further up.

“I didn’t save your treacherous twelve year old self from snakes just for you to get eaten by sharks, you knucklehead!” Ford yells as he races onto the bridge. “Hang on, I’m coming —”

“Wait! Ford, it can’t support us both —”

This time, it’s Ford who heeds his brother’s warning too late as the ropes finally snap and he plummets into the water. Blinking salt out of his eyes as he resurfaces, he spots a ladder out of the tank just a few meters away and starts paddling towards it as fast as he can, even as he spots a dorsal fin peeking out of the water as it effortlessly glides towards him —

“Not so fast, Jaws!” Stan falls from the sky like a descending meteor, body-slamming the shark from above and no doubt catching it completely off guard. Ford takes the opportunity to scramble onto the ladder, kicking an approaching hammerhead in the nose as it tries to lunge after him, and then extends a hand to Stan, who accepts it and follows him up to safety.

“Thank you,” Ford gasps as he catches his breath. “I… I probably didn’t deserve that…”

Stan ignores him at first, concentrating on wringing out his suit, but finally speaks up.

“Well, to quote a pretty intelligent guy I know… I didn’t save your ungrateful ass from an interdimensional portal powered by radioactive waste just for you to get eaten by sharks, Brainiac.”

Ford can’t help but smile. “Alright, that’s fair enough.”

YOUNG: 7, OLD: 1

*

TIME CHALLENGE 9

OBJECTIVE: Defeat the killer Time Robot in a Time Basketball match!

“You know, Stanford,” the old Ford tells his younger self, “the world has made a lot of scientific progress since 1963! Would you like to hear about the sixteen new elements synthesized since then, or perhaps all the strides we’ve made in space travel?”

“Would I ever!” The young Ford’s eyes light up, and he drops the basketball he was holding. “Has anyone landed on the moon yet? Have scientists discovered an island of stability among heavier nuclei? How’s the theory of relativity holding up?”

“Don’t fall for it, Ford!” The young Stan grabs his brother’s arm. “He’s just trying to distract you while — aw, dang it!”

With his brass knuckles, the old Stan reflects the killer robot’s laser back into its eyes, then uses the opportunity to dunk his basketball directly through its flaming hoop, deactivating it.

“Nice one!” the old Ford shouts, and Stan shoots him a thumbs up.

“BZZT. YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY DUNKED ON ME,” the robot buzzes. “NOW YOU MAY MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ROUND.”

“Does the next round have a football robot?” the old Stan asks.

“NEGATIVE. NOW COME ON AND SLAM, AND WELCOME TO AN UNFORGIVING GLASS PRISON YOU WILL EITHER ESCAPE FROM, OR SUFFOCATE WHILE TRYING.”

YOUNG: 7, OLD: 2

*

TIME CHALLENGE 10

OBJECTIVE: Find the Time Key to escape the Time Hourglass!

As the young twins frantically sift through the sand in their hourglass, the old Ford whispers something to his brother, who gets down on his knees and grunts as he lifts Ford up. Ford unlocks the lock with a skeleton key, removing the mesh that covers the neck of the hourglass and scrambling up and out, pulling Stan after him.

“Where did you even get that skeleton key?” Stan asks, eyeing it curiously.

“A necromancer in another dimension enchanted it for me, actually!” Ford tucks it away before any Globnar officials can notice it. “As you can see, it’s made from actual bone and changes shape to fit any lock!”

“You know any necromancers in this dimension? Asking for a friend.”

“As I’m sure banks everywhere will be relieved to know, I do not.”

YOUNG: 7, OLD: 3

*

TIME CHALLENGE 11

OBJECTIVE: Scale the pendulums of the Time Clock!

All four competitors cling to the circular bottoms of identical brass pendulums, holding on for dear life as they swing in uncoordinated rhythms.

“Why does everything have the word ‘time’ in front of it in the future?” young Ford complains. “What else would an hourglass or a grandfather clock measure? It’s so redundant!”

The old Ford, while not disagreeing, focuses on unraveling a spool of rope from his utility belt and throwing the weighted end to the old Stan. He catches it, and quickly wraps it around his own pendulum.

“Now pull it taut!” Ford calls out, and Stan does as commanded. The swinging of their adjacent pendulums slows to an almost unnoticeable wobble, and the older twins make the climb with ease.

“You know, I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Ford admitted as he reached the top, “but I’m having fun.”

Stan tossed the rope back to him. “You know, I can’t believe you’re saying it either, but I’m glad.”

YOUNG: 7, OLD: 4

*

TIME CHALLENGE 12

OBJECTIVE: Be the first team to complete the Three-Legged Time Race!

Each pair of twins have their legs cuffed together, and the old team takes an early lead even as obstacles rise out of the racetrack in front of them — that is, until a spike bursts out directly in front of them and Ford dodges right as Stan dives to the left. Their cuff catches on the obstacle and they tumble to the ground, too stunned to get to their feet until long after the younger twins have overtaken them.

“Nice going, team!” Ford groans, but there’s no real malice in his voice.

“That was just a cheap shot,” Stan grumbles as he gets to his feet, offering a hand to Ford. He starts walking to the right, only for Ford to step to the left, and they can’t help but laugh as they accidentally headbutt each other.

“How did we mess that up twice? In two entirely opposite ways?”

“It’s rigged against us, I’m telling you!”

YOUNG: 8, OLD: 4

*

TIME CHALLENGE 13

OBJECTIVE: Embark on an Epic Time Quest using your Time Character Sheets and 38-Sided Time Dice to defeat the Evil Time Lich Overlord!

The young twins’ miniature fantasy avatars advance across the table, approaching a skeleton cloaked in translucent gray robes, but with a flick of its hand, it pulverizes Stan’s sword and Ford’s wand. They turn to dust that scatters in the cold, howling wind, and the young twins turn tail and run.

“You’ll have to do better than that to scare a veteran DD&MD player like myself!” the old Ford boasts, and in an overdramatic character voice, he adds: “Time Lich! Your reign of terror ends now!”

The skeleton readies another disarming blast, but Ford summons an antimagic field to surround his avatar, and he approaches the lich without fear as every one of its attacks bounce off the barrier.

“You underestimate me? I am the most powerful wizard in the land!” Ford bloviates. “It is my destiny to free this world for your tyrannical rule, and I have been training towards that goal for the entirety of the three hours I’ve been playing in this campaign!”

The lich’s eyes light up yellow with fury, but it remains oblivious to the old Stan’s avatar sneaking up behind it with a massive sword, carved from light blue crystal and imbued with divine might.

“Go ahead, fire more death bolts at me!” Ford taunts. “See how much good that does you!”

The lich plunges a bone-carved staff into the ground, and cracks begin to extend towards Ford. Yellow smoke with a rotten, sulfur-y smell pours out of the newly formed chasm at the lich’s feet, and the groans of the undead echo from deep inside the earth —

But they all go silent as Stan slices the skeleton cleanly in two with his enchanted sword. “Never turn your back on a rogue, sucker!”

The digital tabletop blinks, replacing the crumbling mountaintop setting with a congratulatory message: CAMPAIGN OVER. YOU WIN!

“That was pretty fun!” the real older Stan says, a smug smile still on his face as he retrieves the die he’d used to strike the game-ending critical hit. “You say there’s a version of this game that exists in our time?”

Ford notices the gum on the bottom of the D38, but decides not to bring it up. “There sure is! We’ll have to play again when we get back to our time!”

“I bet Dipper and Mabel would love to join — they’re nerdy and creative enough to have a ton of fun with it!”

“Wait, when does the game come out?” young Ford asks, grabbing his older self by the arm. “Where will I be able to buy it?”

“And who are Dipper and Mabel?” asks young Stan. “Are they friends of yours?”

The old Ford smiles. “What happened to you two not wanting to know what the future held?”

The young Ford is at a loss for words, but the young Stan looks at him in the eyes and smiles back.

“You gave me a reason to believe what you said before.”

YOUNG: 8, OLD: 5

*

*

TIME CHALLENGE 18

OBJECTIVE: Knock out the mighty Timeclops!

The young twins scatter out of the way of the Timeclops’s fire breath, watching in awe as the older Stan jumps on its back and socks it in its clock-shaped eye. It roars and shakes, but Stan keeps a tight hold on.

“You want me off, you’re gonna have to try harder than that!” he taunts.

The Timeclops bucks backwards, mismatched arms flailing, and Stan jumps off just in time for the old Ford to taze the monster in its exposed soft underbelly. It collapses to the ground, unconscious, and the victory bell rings.

Stan raises his hand for a high-six without thinking, and Ford very nearly completes it without thinking, barely stopping himself and dropping the taser in time. He starts to apologize, but Stan laughs it off and throws an arm over his brother’s shoulder.

“You know, Stan,” the younger Ford whispers, “I’m starting to think that growing up and becoming those guys might not actually be so bad.”

“Yeah…” Stan agrees. “But we’re still gonna kick their asses and win that Time Wish anyway, right? Just to prove that we can?”

Ford nods. “Oh, absolutely.”

YOUNG: 10, OLD: 8

*

*

TIME CHALLENGE 34

OBJECTIVE: Win the Time Arm Wrestling Match!

“Oh, this’ll be a breeze,” the old Stan boasts, flexing his muscles, but then narrows his eyes as he sees the young twins exchange identical knowing smiles.

“Not so fast!” the young Ford tells him, pulling a small marble Time Baby statue out of his pocket. “Back while you two were fighting the Timeclops, we found this hidden Time Idol, and now we’re gonna use it to turn the tables!”

He presses the hourglass emblem on the statue’s head, and its eyes light up green.

“FOR ONE ROUND ONLY, YOUR AGES WILL BE REVERSED!” a robotic voice announces, and the elder twins watch helplessly as they shrink back to the size and stature of twelve-year-olds, while the younger twins age decades in a matter of seconds.

“No!” the previously-older Stan wails. “My beefy arms! How could you steal them from me?!”

The previously-younger Ford rolls back his sleeves, examining his muscles. “Hey, I’m not a weak nerd anymore! …Not sure how I feel about these tattoos, though.”

The previously-younger Stan makes a fist, punching the palm of his other hand. “So, who’s ready to arm wrestle?”

“We forfeit!” the old Ford in a young body shouts, and his brother frantically nods in agreement. “You can take the point! Just put us back at our normal ages again!”

YOUNG: 17, OLD: 17

ONTO THE FINAL ROUND!

*

TIME CHALLENGE 45 — WINNER TAKE ALL TIEBREAKER

OBJECTIVE: Claim the Time Wish from the Time Serpent!

The four twins sit on a dock, watching as the arena slowly floods in preparation for the final battle.

“Cool!” young Ford exclaims. “Just like in Ancient Rome!”

“The more things change, the more things stay the same,” the old Ford adds. He awkwardly shifts in place, looking between his smiling younger self and his two equally content brothers. “Hey, kids? There’s no way to say this that’ll end up making much sense, but… thank you.”

The old Stan turns away from the others, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. No, don’t cry, not now and not here in front of thousands of people…

“Stan, are you all right?” the old Ford asks. “I think we’re starting in just a few moments…”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry.” Stan collects himself, turning back to face his brother. “I’m ready for —”

He blinks, and his voice cuts off. Bobbing on each side of the dock are identical boats, equipped with massive harpoon guns but otherwise not at all unlike the Stan O’ War back home.

The old Ford seems equally stunned. “Oh, right. They flooded the arena, so we’ll be sailing. Of course. Should have expected that…”

The young twins gleefully hop aboard their vessel, lacking any context that might make boats emotionally confusing, and get right to work raising the sails and loading the harpoon gun. The older twins procede onboard much more slowly and carefully, like they’re floating just above an underwater mine that could explode at any moment.

I have to bring it up to him now, Stan thinks. This is the least pissed he’s been at me since we were in high school, and we’re already right here on a boat, so it’s relevant…

But before he can summon the courage, Ford beats him to it and asks: “Stan, when we get back home… would you like to go sailing with me after the end of the summer?”

“More than anything else in the world, Sixer,” Stan finally manages after a long stunned silence.

The buzzer sounds, the boats raise their anchors, and a dark shadow uncoils beneath the waves, but most importantly of all, Stan feels alive in a way he hasn’t in years.

“Glad to hear it —” Ford tells him, interrupted as a wave from the serpent’s tail strikes the boat, but he laughs loudly and heartily even as he staggers backwards to regain his balance. “Now turn starboard, quick!”

Stan heaves the rudder to the side as the serpent’s glistening green-scaled head bursts out of the water. It opens a mouth lined with fangs and breathes a spray of brine directly into Stan’s face, blurring his vision, but with commands shouted by Ford every few seconds, their ship still navigates the waves with ease, dodging blow after blow from the serpent.

The other ship trails from a distance, unable to breach the unpredictable patterns of waves, and the young twins watch with wide eyes as the old Ford aims the harpoon gun and fires from point-blank range. The harpoon doesn’t pierce any scales, but its sheer force causes the serpent to reel backwards and gag, coughing up a glowing yellow orb that sails through the air and lands neatly on the deck of the old Stan and Ford’s ship.

Ford is poised to pick it up, but he pauses at the last moment, and waits for Stan to join him. Then they both throw their arms over each other’s shoulders and reach for it in unison.

The rotating hourglass symbol inside spins faster and faster, glowing brighter and brighter until the blinding golden light that emanates from it envelops the whole colosseum. When it subsides, the serpent dives back beneath the waves, and the older team’s score shoots up to the maximum.

YOUNG: 17, OLD: 999

TEAM 2012 WINS THE TIME WISH!

*

“YOU HAVE CLAIMED THE MIRACULOUS POWER TO ALTER TIME PARADOX-FREE!” Time Baby congratulates the older twins. “NOW WHAT WISH SHALL YOU MAKE, AND WHAT FATE WILL YOU CHOOSE FOR THE LOSERS?”

The old Stan and Ford look at each other, and then at their younger selves.

“We’re not going to wipe your memories, that’s for sure,” the old Ford assures them. “But I’m not too keen on letting you stay eternally young, either.”

The young Stan sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, it was kind of a bad idea anyway…”

“If my Ford and I had kept being stubborn assholes, I almost wouldn’t have blamed ya,” the old Stan admits, “but I think we’re done with that whole grudge thing, right, Ford?”

“It’s about time we did,” Ford agrees, before turning to address Time Baby. “Is it within your power to create two separate, coexisting timelines?”

“OF COURSE IT IS — I’M TIME BABY! I DROP MY PACIFIER, AND A NEW TIMELINE SPAWNS INTO EXISTENCE!”

“Well, then —” Ford places his hand on the Time Wish floating at his side. “We wish for our younger selves to be returned to 1963, but in a new timeline where they aren’t required to follow our path, while my Stan and I go back to our timeline in 2012. Is that alright with you, Stanley?”

“Almost. Just gotta do one last thing.” Stan points at his younger self. “Hey, you — be careful around your brother’s science experiments, don’t listen to Dad when he says you’ll never make a fortune, and invest in cryptid-based tourism as soon as you can. Should do pretty well for yourself as long as you remember all that.”

“Oh, that’s wise,” Ford says. “Stanford, you should absolutely visit the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon because it’s full of incredible anomalies previously unknown to science, but you should absolutely never read anything you find inscribed on the walls of the caves there. Also, just to be safe, be extremely wary around snappily dressed triangles or anyone with slit yellow eyes. Don’t build any interdimensional portals no matter who tells you it’s a good idea! Cryptozoology is more than enough to make you famous — not that you even need fame to prove yourself as a scientist. You’ll also do perfectly well for yourself as long as you’re careful around the supernatural, and stick by Stanley’s side.”

A glowing golden portal appears behind the younger twins, and they both nod.

“Thanks, guys,” the young Ford tells them. “See you — well, I guess we won’t be seeing or becoming you now that we’re not the same people anymore…”

The old Stan shrugs. “Look, I’m no scientist, but being parallel timeline versions of each other sounds close enough to being the same. At the very least, we’ll always be thinking of you guys, and you’ll always be thinking of us.”

The old Ford nods. “That’s a drastic oversimplification of the workings of the multiverse, but not necessarily a misleading one.”

“Goodbye, grumpy old us.” The young Stan gives them one last wave, and he and Ford step through the portal. “Have fun sailing around the world.”

***

The old Ford and Stan awaken on the porch of the Mystery Shack, the night still just as young as it had been when they’d first been arrested.

“Okay, Dr. Science, do you know why my watch hasn’t move forward even though I still feel exhausted?” Stan asks.

Ford sighs. “Just Time Baby having one last laugh, I assume.”

Stan gets to his feet and opens the door. “I’m gonna go crash in the living room. Not sure these old tired legs can make it upstairs.”

Ford follows him. “Glad I’m not the only one whose adrenaline has thoroughly worn off. I’m not sure I could make it downstairs.” He pauses. “Stan, in a day or two from now, after we’ve gotten some rest and maybe played some tabletop RPGs with the kids, how would you feel about exploring an alien spaceship with me?”

Stan collapses onto his chair in the living room. “Ask me again when my back isn’t killing me, but the answer then will definitely be a ‘hell yes.’”

Ford sits down in a chair at the table, pulling off his trench coat and folding it into a makeshift pillow. “Good night, Stanley.”

“Goodnight, Sixer.”

***

End notes:

In the prime timeline, Stan and Ford succeed in getting the alien adhesive from the spaceship, and use it to seal up the rift permanently — and then, just for good measure, study the Zodiac and use it to permanently banish Bill from the dimension. They spend the next few years sailing around the world, and meet up with the kids every summer for DD&MD sessions and other family bonding activities.

I think that the Ford from the new timeline doesn’t get into West Coast Tech, but does get a full scholarship to a school much nicer than Backupsmore. Stan is careful around Ford’s experiments, including the many inventions inspired by things Ford saw in the future — but Filbrick is still an asshole, so he kicks Stan out the day after he turns eighteen. Luckily, this coincides with Ford moving into his college dorm, so Stan semi-legally lives with Ford in his dorm room for a few months until Ford convinces him to apply to the college’s art program, and Stan’s comics about time travel start to garner a lot of attention. Somewhere along the line, they meet Fidds, and many fun Mystery Trio adventures are had in Gravity Falls without any Bill involvement whatsoever.

[fordanoia]

This Is What Dreams Are Made Of

Words: 1,900~ || CW: — || The parallel fic to ‘Hey Now, Hey Now.’ This time, Mabel’s Dream Bubble - But if Stan had been there for it. Following shortly after Wendy and Soos leave with their dream bubble father and friends.

-

“Hey, listen kid - go find Wendy, I’ll round up Soos. Let him play catch for five minutes then get him back, easy.”

Dipper nodded and set off.

Stan sighed, walked along for a while until he heard a familiar voice happily calling out for him.

“Stanley!”

“Ford?” He turned, seeing his brother hopping off a boat in the middle of the bouncy ground floor.

“Oh, so much for being captured, let me guess you already made it out, huh. This was exactly why I tried telling everyone to not even bother.” Stan gestured at him. “Congratulations on rescuing yourself.”

Ford’s face turned a bit sad, but there was no bitter or angry expression. “Stanley, listen I-”

“Wait a damn second, you’re from this bubble, aren’t you?” Stan interrupted.

Ford paused, shrugging. “Well- yes, but I-”

“Oh, isn’t that just great.” He crossed his arms over each other. “Gotta deal with an apocalypse and another version of you.”

Ford frowned, walking over to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Please, give me a chance.”

“For what?” Whatever it was, he wasn’t looking forward to it.

“To tell you I was wrong.” Ford said.

“...what?” Stan blinked at him.

“Yes.” Ford took a breath. “You were right, Stanley, and I should have realized that beforehand. I never even thanked you for saving me.”

“Ya still haven’t actually.” Stan couldn’t help pointing out, and as soon as it slipped out he was ready for the jaded reply.

Instead, Ford half laughed, smiling. “An accurate assessment... Thank you, Stanley. I wouldn’t have ever gotten back home if it wasn’t for you.”

Stan’s chest felt a bit lighter, but not by much. “That’s great and all, but it’s a load of bull.” He said crossing his arms. “That punch in the face is a good enough reminder here that the great Stanford Pines isn’t grateful for me rescuing his butt.”

“That was wrong of me. There was a lot going on why I acted that way, but that’s no excuse... Not after you spent the past thirty years working every night to get me back.”

“Talking like you’re supposed to be him, huh.”

“Well, technically speaking, I am. Just a different version, like you said.”

Stan’s face pulled into a deep frown, and he didn’t say anything to that.

The silence held for a few seconds, then Ford continued, changing the subject. “Are you looking for Wendy and Soos?”

He shrugged. “Finding Soos is easy enough, just gonna go and grab Wendy. Convincing them to come along won’t be hard. Just gotta tell them to get off their butts and stop playing around.”

“That makes sense, they’ll listen to you, I’m sure.”

“Yeah,” Stan’s voice started to rise, sarcasm quickly filtering in until it was dripping from every word, “that’s the easy part. The hard part is trying and talking to Mabel, you know. Thanks to that oh so great and generous apprenticeship you offered Dipper!” He finally shot a scathing look at Ford.

When he didn’t say anything, just looking back at him with a slight look of guilt on his face - Stan continued.

“Thanks for that, by the way. I asked you to do ONE thing.” He held up a finger. “Just one- stay away from the kids, and look what you’ve done! I’ve never seen a pair of siblings get along like that before, but lo and behold you’re around one of ‘em for what? A couple weeks - and just look!” Stan let his frustration build, gesturing around roughly before jabbing a finger at Ford’s chest. It wasn’t really Ford so he didn’t have to hold back a single bit.

Everything poured out of him like the toxic waste stewing away in containers of the basement. “Of course, you’d split them up, Ford. You probably don’t even see what’s wrong with it. I should never have let Dipper hang around you.”

“I figured, hey - what’s the worst that could happen? You’d keep him safe at least, right? Kid’s been around enough spookums, he at least knows when something’s too dangerous. You cared enough about the kids, didn’t you? Enough that they’d be fine for a couple weeks, but no.”

“This is why I didn’t want you anywhere near the kids. I knew if it wasn’t one thing, it’d be another.”

“It wasn’t my intention, I’m sorry.” Ford told him genuinely.

Stan scoffed, contempt freely bubbling up his throat. “Because of you Mabel would rather live here than go out in the real world without a brother. She didn’t deserve this, you hear me.” His voice had been simmering, but like a switch had been flipped he started yelling in Ford’s face again - anger boiling over.

“She’s TWELVE years old, and she’s already losing her brother- because of you, Stanford!” He jabbed a finger at him again, walking towards him and making Ford take a couple steps back as he shouted. “This is all your fault! You’re ruining their lives! I should never have brought you back, damn it!” At that he roughly shoved him so hard, that it was a miracle he didn’t actually fall over.

Ford stumbled backwards, managing to catch his footing before outright falling. He took in a breath, his chest rising, and falling back down - simply just taking the words without so much as a flicker of anger across his face.

Stan breathed heavily for a few moments, all the boiling anger so high it felt like it was he was wading in a thick liquid that was all the way up against his throat. It felt like the liquid was draining away, falling lower, and then Stan realized through the haze what he’d just said.

Even worse though, he still felt it, and honestly? Maybe it wouldn’t have been better... at least Mabel and Dipper would have been fine...

Ford wouldn’t have though... so he probably would have done it again anyways... even if it was stupid. That’s just what he was though, wasn’t he...

“You were right to try and keep the kids away from me... I should have been more aware of what I was doing.” Ford said, calmly apologetic. “I’ll rescind the apprenticeship offer. A kid such as Dipper should be playing and in school, not doing some research away from everyone.”

“He’s still gonna want to go off with you.” Stan said, jaded.

“I’ll make it sound reasonable. A high school degree is necessary for any good college. I’ll just tell him it’ll have to wait until after high school. He’ll forget about it by the time he graduates. Him and Mabel will go back to how they were before I stepped in.” Ford assured him. “They’ll stick together.”

Stan didn’t say anything to that. It would have been a lot better if it’d been coming from the real Ford. “Whatever. I’m going to look for Wendy,” he eventually said, “group of teenagers shouldn’t be that hard to find.”

“Can I help?”

“I don’t care what you do.” Stan replied. As he started walking, Ford went along with him without hesitating.

-----

Ford brought it up again later, as though trying to make him feel better.

Stan leaned his head against his hands. “It’s just not gonna work, Sixer...”

“Why not?”

He sighed. “You came from here - Dipper won’t listen to you.” As much as he wish it could work...

“He doesn’t have to know that.”

Stan was taken back, and lifted his head to look over at Ford. “What?”

“Well, I’m the only version that can talk to him.” He glanced away briefly. “That other one - is just some frozen statue. He’s not doing anything.” He explained easily. “All you have to do is tell him you found me, and saved me. I’ll tell him the apprenticeship is over, and Dipper and Mabel can reconnect inside this bubble. It’s the perfect place for them.”

“What about when the kids want to go out and stop Bill?” Stan asked, something uneasy sliding into his stomach at the way Ford was talking.

“We just tell them it’s too dangerous. Time is at a standstill after all, so there’s no rush, is there? We can even tell them we’re going off to look for a solution.” Ford continued.

“Not sure about all that.” Stan said slowly. It was a good plan though. It could definitely work. Between a life-like image of his brother and himself both telling the kids to stay put, it’d work. Dipper would trust Ford that they were working on something to stop Bill, and Mabel didn’t even want to leave, of course. It was full-proof.

Ford frowned slightly. “We would finally get to go sailing, Stan...”

Stan had to retrace his thoughts, his heart leaping up at that before he drudged it back down again. “We would?” He asked hesitantly.

He started to smile, face lighting up as he talked. “Yes. Yes, we would! There’s a sea out there, Mabeland can make it as big as we want - with whatever islands we could ever want to explore. Come on, just think about it, Stan!” He encouraged him, a hand on his shoulder. “This is finally our chance to go sailing and treasure hunting. Let’s take it.”

It was smooth and warm and as tempting to swallow down as a cup of hot cocoa, just sitting right there for him. Stan blinked back tears at his brother’s face so earnestly excited and actually wanting to go sailing with him, like they were both a couple of kids again - but this time they could actually do it. There was already a boat and everything.

“We won’t have this chance outside the bubble, Stanley. This is the only way we can do it.” Limited time offer. Buy now.

He had to take a moment, bite back on what he wanted to say, then pull himself through to actually talk. “Nice pitch.” Stan finally said. “I’m not buying it though.”

As Stan went to brush its hand off of him, its other intervened and grabbed onto his shoulder to be directly facing him. “Tell me why not.” It asked in earnest.

“Because you’re not him.” The words came out all on their own.

“After everything, you deserve to go treasure hunting with a brother who wants to go with you.” It said. “Even if you fix everything, he won’t want to go sailing with you.”

One Time Only Deal! Get it before it’s g o n e

Stan wound his fist back and punched it right in the face, the thing spilling backwards. “Yeah, well you know what - maybe I never had a brother that actually wanted to go treasure hunting with me. Guess what though - I also don’t want a fake one who does.”

It sat up from the ground, glasses oddly reflecting to hide the eyes. “...What about Mabel and Dipper?”

“They’re better than we were. Plus, they’re smart kids. They’d figure out you’re not real pretty quick, pal.”

Just like that its skin turned to dark crawling bugs and the atmosphere changed around him, turning dark.

Stan shouted at the sudden change, whipping his head from the figure crumpling into a pile of twenty different kinds of bugs in front of him to literal blood red sand.

A cheerful noise caught his attention and he checked behind himself to see a distant small horse with wings singing and when he glanced back again, just like that - everything was back to what he guessed counted as normal here.

“Okay, I’ve had my fill of creepy stuff here, thanks.” He stepped his way around the spot the other had been at and ran off to find the kids again.

[optimistic-violinist]

Gravity Falls (and so does Stan)

Tada!!! It’s finally done!! The lovely @pessimisticvirtuoso commissioned me for angst feat. Ford mourning Stan. Enjoy! Or cry! Or both!

Warnings: major character death, description of injuries (nothing gory or in detail)

Words: ~2000

Commission prices here!

The morning dawned bright and early for Stan. Awoken by the sound of what sounded like a raccoon (or a beautiful man), trashing his kitchen, he got up and meandered out of his room, broom in hand, ready to confront whatever he found.

It was not a raccoon or a beautiful man trashing his kitchen, but his own brother. Ford had his sweater sleeves rolled up to his elbows and was frantically fanning the burning pan of what Stan thought might have at one point been eggs.

“Ford, what are you doing? You know you can’t cook.”

“Yes, well, I thought I’d surprise you.”

“Consider me surprised. When did you get up?”

“Around 3. I was too excited to go back to sleep.”

“Excited- why were you- THE KIDS!!”

Ford nodded, grinning enthusiastically. “They get back today.”

Stan hurried back to his room to get ready for the day. He was so excited to see his niblings, he could barely stand it. No wonder Ford had been up so long.

“We should do something special for them,” Stan said, taking the egg pan from Ford and gesturing for him to grab some plates.

“Way ahead of you. I just remembered that in the caves behind the waterfall there are these luminescent rocks! They glow quite brightly and are said to change color depending on the mood of whoever touches them. I was thinking we could get some to decorate their room with.”

“Great idea Sixer. Let me salvage breakfast and then we can go.”

“Shall I tell Soos where we’re going?”

“Nah, I’ll just leave him a note for when he gets in today. We won’t be gone too long.”

“Very well. I’ll go gather the equipment we need while you finish salvaging the breakfast as you put it.”

Ford narrowly missed the spoonful of egg that was thrown at him as he ducked out of the room and couldn’t help but laugh. He was looking forward to going back to the caves. It was a beautiful little ecosystem all its own. There were some sketchy bits they would have to climb, but it was nothing they couldn’t handle.

It was shaping up to be the perfect day.

“Stan! STAN!” Ford waited, praying for an answer from his brother, but he was met only with silence. “STAN!” His desperate scream echoed off the cave walls and down the gulf that split the cavern floor. The remains of the rope bridge they had crossed- almost crossed- now dangled uselessly down the hole.

Everything had been fine.

And then, in an instant, it wasn’t.

Crossing the rope bridge the first time had been fine. Crossing it the second time, they were laden with rocks, joking and laughing and just oh so excited to see their favorite niblings in the whole world. Stan bumped into him from behind, laughing at something Ford had said, when the bridge started swinging dangerously.

“Woah!”

And then came the unmistakable sound of a rope snapping. They had just an instant, a single moment of eye contact, before Stan shoved Ford forward onto stable ground before the bridge gave way completely and Stan fell into the abyss.

“Stan!” Ford called again, crawling to the very edge and peering down. “Stan, answer me!”

He held his breath, straining his ears for any sort of sound when he heard, ever so faintly, a cough and a quiet, sarcastic, “No.”

Ford could have cried. “I’m coming! Hang on!”

How to do it, how to do it? Ford had some rope on him, but would it reach to the bottom? How deep was the chasm? What sort of state was Stan in? Should he go get help?

Wait! Struck with inspiration, Ford lunged for the backpack and dug through it, triumphantly pulling out the “shrink-ray” Dipper had made. He could use that on Stan if he needed to. He shoved it back in the pack and slung it on his shoulder, keeping the rope in his hand. Trying to keep his hands from shaking, Ford tied the rope to the post and began to rappel down… and down… and down.

Stan had been the one with the lantern. The light from the entrance of the cave ((they had been so close)), quickly faded as he descended further.

“Stan? Can you hear me?” he called. He didn’t have much rope left.

“Yeah.” The voice was strained, most definitely in pain, and relievingly close.

“Hang on,” Ford breathed. He shimmied down, until he was just holding the rope with his hands, legs and torso dangling, and dropped.

Ford grunted as he landed; it felt like it was around a ten foot drop, maybe a bit more. He could hear Stan breathing close by, but it was pitch black down here. Ford dug through the back pack and pulled out some of the rocks, causing them to light up with a startling rich purple and green, bringing some light to the dismal scene.

Ford glanced around and felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured down his spine. He and Stan were perched on a ledge about ten feet long that extended maybe three feet before continuing to drop into nothing. Ford took a shuddering breath before turning around and crawling over to Stan.

It was bad, oh it was so, so bad. “I’m here, Stan, I’m here, I made it.”

He lay on his side, legs badly twisted- he must have landed on them. The arm he lay on had to be broken too. And who could guess what the internal damage was like. It had to have been at least a three story drop, if not more- there had to be internal damage. What were they going to do?

Ford’s panicked train of thought was cut off as Stan whispered, “Ford, I can’t feel my legs.”

Ford swore. He crawled around to Stan’s head. Oh gosh, there was blood.

“Broken spine most likely,” he muttered. “Oh Stan, I’m so sorry.”

“Wasn’t your fault Sixer. What do you think? Can we-“ He stopped, cut off by a vicious cough. Blood mixed with saliva came out, staining the ground beside him. The rock Ford was holding spiked red before toning back down to deep purple. “Can we get out of here?”

“I have the shrink ray. I could shrink you and put you in my pocket or in the backpack, but I don’t know-“ His breath hitched. “I don’t know if your condition is stable enough. I could go and get help, but I don’t know how long that would take and-“

“It’s okay, it’s… it’s too late, okay?”

“Stan, no. Do not say that. We’ll get you out. The-the kids! The kids are coming tonight, remember? You have to be there to- you have to be there to see them.”

“Ford.” Ford stopped. “Just… just hold me. Stay, for a minute.”

“I-“ When had he started to cry? “Okay.”

He readjusted himself, gently lifting Stan’s head to rest in his lap and intertwining his six fingers with Stan’s good hand. The fingers on his broken arm twitched. Ford pulled the backpack closer and pulled out another rock, setting it next to Stan’s hand. His fingers brushed it and it pulsed with a bright yellow light. It was calming, comforting. Ford pulled a couple more closer and the chasm lit up.

“Do you remember that kraken we fought on our second day out at sea?”

“Y-yeah. It came out of nowhere.”

“I harpooned it right in the eye,” Stan boasted. “And we laughed about it.”

“Yeah…” Ford trailed off. “Do you remember the yeti that helped us when we got lost?”

“They were nice. Gotta say I prefer the merfolk though.” Ford snorted.

“Of course you do.”

They were silent for a moment, letting the warmth of the light and shared memories wash over them.

“We never did find any pirates though.”

“Unless you want to count your old cartel buddies.”

“Yeah, no,” Stan laughed and coughed. Ford quirked an eyebrow as the light faded from yellow to a light blue. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“This,” he scoffed. “Everything. Just… everything.”

“Stan, you have nothing to apologize for. We’ve talked about this.”

“I know, I know, but I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

“I do. I do Stan. And… thank you. Thank you Stan, for everything.”

Stan’s breath hitched and the blue brightened to lavender.

“Without you,” Ford continued. “I wouldn’t have made it back. I wouldn’t have met the kids. We wouldn’t have defeated Bill. You saved my life just now! Everything I have… as counter intuitive as it may seem… I have because of you. So, thank you.”

They were both crying now. Stan’s breaths were getting shallower. His breathing hitched again and he shifted, letting out a hiss of pain. He squeezed Ford’s hand tight.

“I love you Sixer. And tell the kids and Soos and Wendy- all of ‘em- that I love ‘em.”

“Stan-“

“Tell them.”

A pause. A breath. A sigh. “I will. I love you too Stan.”

Ford waited for a reply, some sort of quip, something, but instead the golden and lavender light began to fade far too quickly and, within seconds, went out completely, leaving Ford in the dark and the silence.

Like a wave crashing into him, a sob tore from his throat and echoed off the cavern walls. His best friend, his brother, this couldn’t have happened. Shouldn’t have happened. Ford continued to sob, tears raining down, landing on his glasses, falling off the end of his nose. He sniffled, trying to ease the tightness in his throat- he had to do something, needed to do something!

He needed to mourn.

Another sob burst out followed by who knew how many more. Ford didn’t know how long he sat there, Stan’s head heavy on his lap. Eventually though, his crying quieted; there was more in him, but now it could wait. He had to get back to the Shack- had to get Stan’s body- he could barely stand to think about it and the tears started fresh.

This time he paused when he realized the light was coming back. The stone next to Stan’s hand began to flicker with a pale yellow, almost green, light. What on earth? Don’t- don’t give me hope.

Stan’s finger twitched and something sparked blue and Ford’s hope began to melt into unease. Stan’s eye snapped open to reveal a slit pupil, the rest of it a burning yellow, that rolled until it focused on Ford and he smiled.

Ford reeled back, every other feeling replaced with a primal fear and the urge to get away because that was not Stan and it couldn’t- it couldn’t be-

Not-Stan stood on his broken legs and brushed himself off.

“Heya Sixer. Been a while, huh? Miss me?”

[andrewmoocow]

Gravity Soul chapter 13: Return to the Falls, Trust No One? (originally posted on August 12, 2019)

AN: As Doctor Stephen Strange once said, "We're in the endgame now." I'd like to thank everyone who has stuck by me since Thanksgiving 2017 as I laughed, cried, cheered and felt myself die inside while this saga progressed. They always say parting is such a sweet sorrow, and I have a feeling it's going to be even more sorrowful for me since this story holds a special place in my heart as a crossover between my favorite anime and one of my favorite cartoons. But enough sentimentality, let the final battle against KISHIN CIPHER begin.

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--

There was dead silence in the now red-lit forest of Gravity Falls. Kishin Cipher's fortress the Fearamid continued to hover above the Oregon town that barely had any life left inhabiting it now that the townspeople were either transformed into building blocks for his throne or hiding in the shadows.

However those shadows would finally see a beacon of light shining nothing but hope upon the desolate village in the form of the Mystery Meisters returning to the falls at last. Out of a portal came Dipper and Mabel first, their bond broken and repaired within the span of a few hours after the boy went out of his way to save his sister from the grasp of Kishin Cipher and Anti-Mabel.

Next came Stanford Pines, Maka Albarn, Black Star and Death the Kid along with their respective weapons Azusa Yumi, Spirit Albarn, Tsubaki Nakatsukasa and Liz & Patty Thompson. "This is it everyone. Beyond these woods, our final battle with Bill and Asura awaits." Ford boldly declared. "Is everyone ready?"

"I definitely am. And I'm ready to save Soul as well." Maka responded willing to risk her life for the sake of her Demon Scythe. "As am I dudes. We're coming for you Mr. Pines!" Soos added also ready to rescue his father figure and former boss Stanley Pines. "We haven't got a moment to lose, but I suggest we find shelter before he finds us." Franken Stein suggested turning his screw while Wendy, Crona, Ox, Kim, Kilik, Gideon, Pacifica, McGucket and the rest of the team followed behind. "Any ide-"

"Mystery Shack." the kids stated in unison before Stein could even finish. "Well aside from the fact that that's where we stayed at last Weirdmageddon, there's also a mystical barrier made out of unicorn hair protecting it from weirdness." Dipper explained. "Wait, unicorn hair?" Black Star wondered. "Tell me more!"

"How about later? We gotta get moving!" Mabel said racing to find the Shack. The group then followed the sweater girl but without their knowledge, an Eyebat peered at the party before flapping its wings and soaring to the Fearamid.

The eye creature entered the pyramid and faced its master Kishin Cipher as he schemed on his human throne. "Okay, gimme reports little guy!" he commanded the Eyebat with a poke of its cornea. It rumbled a bit before a holographic image of the Mystery Meisters running away from him. "Well well well, can't say I'm not surprised!" the Dream Kishin commented with a sneer. "Now we can finally start the welcoming party!"

His minions all assembled before their master and took a bow as Kishin Cipher gave orders. "Okay, I'll need all of you circling the town in search of any survivors!" he stated. "Arachne, Shaula, Mosquito, Giriko, Shifty, you follow those mortals and terminate them! Henchmaniacs, blow that cabin to bits and take out anyone inside! And Horsemen?"

"Yes Master?" the Madness of Greed formerly known as Grunkle Stan wondered planting his sword in the ground while his eight-legged horned possum Shanknir scampered to his side. "I've got a special assignment for all of you. I need the four of you to fight alongside me in the eventual big showdown. You up for it?"

"As always mighty God of Weirdness and Madness." Medusa Gorgon, the Madness of Wrath, answered loyally. "And I trust that you in particular won't try to turn on me and take my power?" K.C told the witch. "I sincerely promise you that I have no ulterior motives."

"Very good." Kishin Cipher smirked, feeling ready to destroy all in the fated clash.

--

"We should be getting close everyone, I can smell the cheap money." Dipper stated hiding in the bushes as he spotted the tourist trap from afar. "It feels like it's been so long since we've last seen that old place."

"Really? Cause it felt like we've spent an entire night searching for Pacifica and then a few days in Death City." Mabel added stacking her head on top of her brother's. "Well no matter, we're finally home." Ford continued stepping out of their hiding spot to knock on the door. "HALT! WHO GOES THERE?!" a familiar voice screamed. "Can you shut it Rumble? You'll get us caught!" another exclaimed harshly. "Besides, who knows who it could be?"

"Is that Eruka?" Dipper muttered in shock. "And that other guy sounds really familiar." Soos replied. "But let's barge in just to be safe!"

"That is rather rash and could be dangerous, but okay I believe you." Maka stated preparing to bust down the door. "Let's do this."

Battle cries were all around as the Mystery Meisters charged into the Shack with weapons raised high and a little resistance within the hovel roared as well. There were however a few familiar faces among the resistance's ranks. "Eruka, Free?" Dipper and Mabel exclaimed in unison. "Kids?" the frog and wolf responded just as stunned when the Multi-Bear stepped out of the bathroom. "Just so we're clear, we're all out of toilet paper." he announced amidst the awkwardness. "Did I miss something?"

--

"Are you making yourself at home Stanley?"

Stan sluggishly smacked his lips with a grumble and slowly opened his eyes to discover that he was now in a black and red room with a lamp as its only light source and a choppy record player nearby. Stan was bewildered as last he remembered, he & Soul sacrificed themselves to protect their loved ones and converted into minions of Kishin Cipher. He decided to get up from the chair he was sitting in to get a better look, but instead found himself chained to it. "Let me ask you again. Are you making yourself at home Stanley?"

"Hardly!" Stan exclaimed struggling to break out of his chains. "Where am I and who are you anyway?!" he asked. "Oh pardon me sir. Allow me to introduce myself." the voice's owner, a fine-dressed imp with a wide grin on his face, apologized. "I am the little demon now residing in your heart after you accepted the Black Blood within you."

"Hey, doesn't Soul have a weird little man kinda like you inside of him?" Grunkle Stan asked. "And why am I in this Sunday best getup?" He then brought attention to his current attire of a tuxedo with a red bowtie and a diamond ring on his finger. "Though I do like this ring."

"Why it's simple. As a fellow host of the Black Blood, you are one of four people forced to serve your new master. Though only one wasn't unwilling." the Ogre explained snapping his fingers to reveal the other hosts; Preston Northwest, Soul Eater Evans and Medusa Gorgon. Medusa was the only one to not be restrained to a chair, implying that she was the willing one.

"You won't get away with this you crimson cretin!" Preston shouted before the Ogre made a gag appear with another snap of his fingers. "Oh you Northwests don't know when to quit or shut up." the demon commented. "He's right you little twat, the twins will find a way to save us!" Soul added just as defiant. "Just why are we all here?"

"The master simply wants us all to be in better harmony." Medusa explained picking up a violin from a table out of two other instruments. "Make your choice." she commanded allowing the captives to get up from their chairs to choose. "I call dibs on the saxomaphone." Stan declared snatching the brass instrument. "Guess that leaves me with the clarinet." Preston added picking up his chosen woodwind. "But what about the boy?"

A spotlight shone on a grand piano behind Soul. "Of course." the scythe muttered sitting down and preparing to play. "But still, what's with all the harmony crap?" he asked the ogre. "Even though you are completely powerless to stop everything that you're perfectly aware of, there still has to be teamwork amongst Bill's slaves." the imp remarked. "NOW PLAY!"

The three unwilling Madnesses slowly warmed up under the watchful glare of Medusa who began expertly leading the way on her violin. Soul unwillingly but just as beautifully followed up with his piano while the Gravity Falls citizens just awkwardly looked at each other. "Do I see reluctance?" the Ogre snarled viciously electrocuting the two. "PLAY!"

"Okay, keep your pants on Lucy!" Stan growled playing the saxophone while Preston began his clarinet. Although their number was a nice piece, it symbolized how the three males were completely reluctant to serve Kishin Cipher.

--

"So that's the whole story?" Dipper asked Eruka while the group sat around a campfire inside the Mystery Shack that the resistance against Kishin Cipher had made their homebase. "Yeah, when we found your weirdo little house, there were already a few other people taking shelter as well." the frog witch answered. "Yeah, and a ton of strange characters too!" Free added. "Like those minotaur guys, the little dwarves, a couple of video game characters and whatever that bear is supposed to be!"

"Hey for your information Bigby, we're gnomes! The dwarves hang around in the mountains." Jeff exclaimed standing up next to Free. "But what of the strike force Death sent in?" Kid wondered twiddling his thumbs. "Most of them didn't make it." Sid stated. "Justin tried to kill that monster, but he was made a part of his creepy throne. Djinn Galland, Tsar Pushka, Feodor, Tezca Tlipoca and Mifunewould meet the same fate."

In a dark corner, Zubaidah & Enrique comforted a grieving Angela while Dengu & Alexandre leaned on the wall with Pitt colas in hand. "We're trying to do the best we can to fight back, but Kishin Cipher is pretty much all powerful." Mira explained. "The only thing that can keep us safe from him now is that unicorn hair shield keeping his powers at bay."

Suddenly rumbling footsteps sounded outside the Shack. "Uh guys, we got a situation!" the resistance's lookout, the wax head of Larry King, announced. "Those Henchmaniac guys are heading straight for us! And I am honestly surprised it only took them until now to find us."

"Everybody, battle stations!" the dating simulator character Giffany shouted taking position at a nearby window as the Henchmaniacs finally arrived with Moonlight, Kaguya, White Rabbit and the Black Clown leading the way. "Come out come out wherever you are." White Rabbit chimed in a sing-songy voice. "Your hair shield may not be penetrated by us, but we will find ways to penetrate you."

"NONE SHALL PASS!" Manly Dan screamed putting up his dukes. "You're only just making us want to tear you all to bloody shreds even more." Paci-Fire boomed telepathically. "Why the hell are we only cowering inside the Shack when we could be out there kicking their asses?" Black Star asked. "Also, what kind of monster is that ugly baby?"

"We're just not ready yet. Our forces are strong, but we still need something even stronger to stand a chance." Candy answered. "Candy's right you guys. We need to save Soul, Stan and Mr. Northwest if we want to save Gravity Falls. They're part of that big wheel Ford talked about." Maka responded. "Exactly, but how can we rescue them in their current states?" Stanford pondered. "By the way, do you think they can hear us?"

"Yes, yes we can!" Pyronica called out, causing the polydactyl author to angrily pound the wall. "Dammit!" he groaned agitatedly. "Well, time to cut things short. Kid, Kilik, Wendy & Dipper, you're all coming with us." Black Star declared. "The rest of you hit the deck!"

"Are you truly sure about this kids? These demons may look rather ridiculous, but judging by their apparent connections to Bill they must be insanely powerful." Stein observed. "We have to do this to protect the Shack while the rest of you think of a new plan." Kid replied beckoning Liz and Patty to his hands. "You're right. Stay safe out there." Maka promised the tourist trap defenders.

"Hey Henchmaniacs, we're right here for you!" Dipper announced grabbing Excalibur on his way out the door. "Well look who we have here, the master's favorite Pine Tree." Kaguya purred. "He always has talked about how much he hated you the most."

"Listen you creeps, just tell us where Soul & Mr. Pines are or you'll go from monsters to targets." Kid threatened. "We're basically saying prepare to get wrecked you rejected Pokemon!" Wendy added tossing her axe at one of the demons aiding the monsters. The creatures were silent for a moment and then, roared before charging.

"Incoming!" Kilik declared yanking Paci-Fire's binkie out of his mouth and stabbing him in the eye with it. Kid meanwhile shot right through Keyhole's namesake forehead at Lavalz. The amount of bullets put through the lava lamp creature's body were so plentiful, they put him on the brink of death. "Please boy, I beg you to have mercy!" he begged the son of Death. "I can do whatever you please! I'll be your servant, I'll turn on my fellow demons to assist you, just please don't kill me!"

"You know, come to think of it." Kid contemplated before a shadow rose from behind him. "This was all a trap and there's someone behind me, correct?" he wondered aloud shooting Amorphous Shape in the eye without even turning his back. "Now Dipper!"

Dipper cut Amorphous Shape to pieces while the creature's guard was down and he screamed loudly as he was reduced to just his soul. "Aw snap, he just killed Morphy!" Kryptos shouted. "This one'll be for him you freaks!" Pyronica shouted lighting her fists aflame. The opposing sides charged while everyone else in the Shack concocted a plan of attack.

"So I suggest we try using a human sacrifice." Stein revealed. "I like it!" Soos agreed. "No, I don't think that will be necessary." Maka rejected the idea to everyone's dismay. "We need an approach that'll involve everyone of us working together."

"OOH, OOH, OOH! I GOT ONE!" McGucket cried raising his bandaged hand. "All right, what do you got Fiddleford?" Stein asked the rich hillbilly. "Giant robit! We already did something like that last Weirdmageddon!" Fiddleford answered excitedly. "Funny story, that's almost exactly what we did when we fought Asura." Azusa stated. "Coincidence, I think not."

"But how are we going to get one? Especially in a place like this?" Crona wondered. "We can use whatever we please around town. Like we said, worked last time." Wax Larry King answered. "Is anyone else going to question why this wax head can talk?" Sid offhandedly pondered. "Whatever, let's get moving!"

As for Dipper's group, they were all backed into a corner by the surviving Henchmaniacs. Lavalz, Paci-Fire, Keyhole and Hectorgon had now joined Amorphous Shape in being destroyed, but their friends were now even more furious and taken them all down. "Well Dipper, where does this fit into our battle plan?" Kilik grunted awaiting his fate. "I'm sure something will turn up for us." Dipper replied optimistically. "Is that so?"

Standing before them, Arachne had just joined up with the former Nightmare Realm prisoners alongside Mosquito, Giriko, Shaula and the Shapeshifter. "And where were you this whole time?!" White Rabbit exclaimed hotly. "We were simply biding our time. Besides, it was fun seeing the children try oh so desperately." Arachne added. "And speaking of which..."

"Don't even think about trying anything funny with us or the Shack!" Wendy threatened. "Is that so little redheaded bitch?" Giriko snarled menacingly. "Well let's make a compromise. We'll do something funny with your little friends who are no doubt trying to escape."

And indeed Giriko was right. Maka was leading a group of the survivors out of the Mystery Shack consisting of herself, Bud Gleeful, Thompson, Ox, Sid, Mr. Poolcheck, Tyler, Free & Dengu. However the party would immediately be blocked by the Shapeshifter. "Stop, right, there. Which one of you wishes to die?"

"Hands off you glowing bastard!" Free snarled baring his claws. "Aw, poor little Free. It seems that you couldn't stand being a pariah for what you did to Maba, so you decided to betray your master for these weaklings she wants destroyed."

"For your information Xenomorph, Medusa was kind of a pretty awful boss and we just moved to a different one." the wolfman responded with a stupid grin on his face. "Can you not doom us right now?" Mr. Poolcheck and Thompson said in unison. "As you did serve Kishin Cipher, it is most unfortunate for you that I must slay you to prevent the rebels from gaining any information on him." the Shapeshifter deduced preparing to strike. "Make your last wishes."

"Stop right there!" Maka cried pointing her father's weapon form at the alien creature. "I won't let you harm anyone here today. I bet you won't even last until tomorrow to come back and kill us all!"

"Very well, then we'll strike again within two days!" the Shapeshifter replied. "How about three?!" Black Star butted in suddenly. "Four!"

"Five!"

"Six!"

"Seven!"

"MAKA CHOP!" Maka cried smacking Black Star on the head and knocking him out. "Tomorrow it is then." the Shapeshifter declared. "Okay everyone, pack it up! We can start again the next day!"

"Aw man." the rest of Kishin Cipher's present minions groaned like disappointed children. "SUPER anticlimactic." Kaguya complained. "I know right?!" Giriko replied. As the monsters began to leave, the rebels raced back inside the Shack to form a plan.

"So what were you doing out there leading those guys?" Ford asked Maka. "We were coming up with attack plans while Dipper was out fighting and someone made the suggestion of turning the Shack into some kind of robot."

"That's exactly what we did to beat Bill last summer!" Mabel exclaimed. "Exactly!" McGucket added. "Seems like we made it safe to go outside again, so let's get to work." Tsubaki stated. "But where can we find what we need?"

"Don't worry everyone," Dipper announced. "Mabel and I know where."

--

One montage of working hard on the resurrection of the automated tourist trap later, the rebels snuggled up underground in Ford's laboratory watching for signs of trouble. "Status update: K.C's forces have kept their word." Tambry announced peering through the periscope disguised as the totem pole outside the Shack. "Good work, we still got time left." Ford applauded. "Time left til we can get Stan and Soul back."

"And my father?" Pacifica asked innocently. "Sure, him too." the scientist answered. "Can't you show her a little sympathy? Her old man is currently forced to fight for an all-powerful demon thing and even showed willingness to help us before that, yet you still have that grudge against him." Liz stated. "Yes I apologize for being a bit insensitive, but the other two are still most important." Ford claimed. "Now then, have we worked any kinks from the last time?"

"Well, definitely got more unicorn hair to fully shield us." Candy stated in the midst of cutting Celestabellebethabelle's mane. "And it can fly now too!" Grenda exclaimed. "Is there anything this town can't do when they come together?" Melody said.

Meanwhile in the attic, Maka gazed out the twins' bedroom window at the blood red sky in silence. "Don't worry Soul, we'll be there for you soon."

"Did we hear you talk about Soul?" Mabel asked suddenly interrupting their older friend. "Gah, you guys!" Maka squeaked. "Aw don't be so skittish Maka, we just got a little feeling you like him." Dipper replied. "As in, like him like him." Mabel added beaming which made the scythe Meister blush like mad. "Oh quit blushing, you know too!"

"Okay, you got me!" Maka finally gave in. "I really do like him. He may be rather distant and cold, but he's just that much of a loyal friend who would do anything to protect me!" she confessed to the twins. "That's why I'll protect him in exchange, and maybe we could finally make music again."

"And you've been hiding these feelings for how long now?" Mabel asked Maka again. "I mean, I've heard that you two often argued like you were married or something."

"But let's try not to hyperfocus on that for now, cause I've also heard that if you do so, you can get distracted a bit too much and even get mad when people try to keep you away from your-" Dipper responded before Maka shushed him. "Okay okay, let's just keep up the fight against Kishin Cipher. Hopefully no one heard us."

"I did." Soos stated suddenly appearing by the door. "Don't mind me dudes, I just knew it from the moment we all first met."

--

Meanwhile at the Fearamid, Arachne was forced to give Kishin Cipher the bad news about the results of the attack.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" the Dream Kishin screamed loudly, causing enough vibrations to cause miniature earthquakes. "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU LOST MOST OF MY MEN TO A BUNCH OF PUNY MORTALS HIDING IN A CABIN, AND THEY MADE YOU AGREE TO TRYING AGAIN TOMORROW?! HOW STUPID CAN YOU ALL BE?!"

"My sincerest apologies master, we just arrived too late." the Spider Witch revealed bowing to the ground with her two subordinates and youngest sister. "But still, we might as well prepare for the final battle." she assured him. "You got a good point there Rachney." Kishin Cipher agreed spawning a wineglass filled with time punch. "In that case, I propose a toast! First one goes to absent maniacs."

The army of demons began mourning for the fallen Henchmaniacs while holding their own wineglasses. "Morphy was just too young!" Kryptos bawled into Pyronica's cape, blowing his nonexistent nose on it. "Did anybody else catch the lava lamp guy's name?" Moonlight asked Xanthar, who simply replied with a shrug. "This one is for you Keyhole." 8-Ball declared drinking the glass and tossing the time punch away hard enough for it to explode.

"But I would also like to propose another one." Kishin Cipher solemnly stated when his mournful expression turned into a fierce sadistic grin. "TO OUR ONCOMING VICTORY!" he cheered tossing his glass to the ground and smashing it underfoot. "MAZEL TOV TO ALL OF YOU! MAZEL TOV!"

The otherdimensional freaks began cheering for their master as his speech continued. "I'd like to thank all of the following for helping us make it this far!" Kishin Cipher announced splitting himself into Bill Cipher and Asura for the first time in what felt like ages. "First off, I'd like to thank my number one fan here for making a deal with me to exact our revenge!" the Kishin exclaimed fistbumping the dream demon. "And I'd also like to thank that pigtailed scythe-bearing brat for giving my new partner here that stupid courage punch!" Bill responded. "Without her, we wouldn't have met and become an unstoppable team!"

The duo merged back into Kishin Cipher who picked up a microphone while a large projector screen appeared behind him. "And in addition, we are also thankful for all the idiots that led themselves to their doom!" The screen began picturing many of the Dream Kishin's enemies and all they've accomplished in accidentally guiding the monsters to victory while the minions continued cheering. "It brings a tear to all three of my eyes to see so many freaks of nature all under one roof to celebrate the coming end of the universe! Especially you creature with like eighty-eight different faces! There, are you happy now?!"

"Actually, I've grown an eighty-ninth face!" the aforementioned multi-faced trog declared revealing a very handsome face to have sprouted. "Oh my, look at that thing!" Kishin Cipher exclaimed revealing the face's turquoise humanoid form. "Isn't it just dashing?!"

The creatures began oohing and aahing at how bizarrely attractive the new face was before Kishin Cipher returned to his speech. "As I was saying ladies, germs and unspeakable horrors of all shapes and sizes, this is it!" he declared making double peace signs over a podium while the projector screen made a large portrait of himself appear. "Tomorrow is the day that sanity goes completely down the shitter and pure madness reigns supreme! How excited are you!?"

"VIOLENTLY!" his army chanted arming themselves with torches, pitchforks and all sorts of stereotypically uber-violent tools. "And how bloody will our enemies' deaths be?!" Kishin Cipher continued. "INSANELY!" the monsters screamed pumping their fists. "Yeah, that's all I wanted to hear!" the leading abomination shouted raising his arms. "Come on everybody, let's get weird!"

Elsewhere in the Fearamid, the Four Madnesses meditated while their harmony exercises continued. The horsemen sat in utter silence until the Madness of Greed opened a single eye. "Kids."

--

The next day, all was silent once more in the forest. That is until a large mechanical being ambled among the trees, casting a shadow over the flora. Metallic footsteps thundered while leaving large car-shaped footsteps behind until finally, the Shacktron 2.0 reached the clearing where the Fearamid was situated. "Are we ready everyone?" Ford asked taking the pilot's seat. The rest of the rebellion nodded in response while preparing for war. "Good. Time to make our claim."

A large megaphone placed at the deck of the Shack was turned on by Dipper before he spoke into it. "Kishin Cipher, this is the Mystery Meisters telling you to surrender now and give back our friends or prepare to fight!" the boy threatened with an amplified voice. However, there was no answer. "D-Did he just give up already?"

"I'll say." Kishin Cipher sarcastically answered while suddenly appearing in front the young Pines brother and giving him a scare. "Long time no see Dipper, been a long while since we had a one-on-one chat!" the Dream Kishin casually greeted his archenemy. "And did you lose weight or is the stupid cosplay just throwing me off?"

"It's not stupid cosplay, my sister had it specially made for me!" Dipper declared defensively clutching onto his scarf. "Oh come on brat! It's too obscure, too ugly! I don't know which is worse!" K.C continued insulting making his hand violently detach itself. "I might just split a seam now if I don't die laughing first!"

"Not if we have the last laugh! NOW!" Dipper commanded allowing the rest of the crew to start firing all sorts of weapons at the Dream Kishin. "You can't break the Shacktron this time, we got unicorn hair from head to toe now!"

"Oh my, you're actually giving me a challenge?" Kishin Cipher quizzed while his forces spawned behind him. "Well what're you waiting for mortals?! Come and get me!"

"This is it everyone, we can do this!" Maka exclaimed taking control of the Shacktron 2.0. "Keep firing at them all!"

"But Maka, we can't just blast cannons at him forever!" Tsubaki advised. "You ready Black Star?" she asked her Meister holding out her hand. "Like Hell I'm not!" the ninja responded taking up arms and leaping outside the Shack, clashing blades with the Madness of Greed. "Been waiting for a proper rematch old man, haha!"

"Bah, you are simply a child dressed in a silly outfit. In fact, you are all children in silly outfits compared to us and our master." the old man in the golden armor scoffed taking out the Shadow Weapon Meister and making him fall to the ground. "NOOOOOT SIIIIILLLLYYYY!" the teen shouted faceplanting into the dirt. "Wait, are these clothes really that stupid?"

"Is there any way we can free Stan, Soul & Mr. Northwest without K.C getting in the way?" Dipper asked Stein. "The freeing our friends part is quite simple Dipper, we call it Chain Resonance where our souls must be on an equal playing field to do great things." the scientist proclaimed. "The keeping Kishin Cipher from interrupting part is much harder."

"How about the important guys, that's you guys, take on the Madnesses while everybody else keep the big guy at bay?" Free suggested warding off the Eyebats with his ice magic. "Good idea Free, and good luck too." Dipper agreed. "Okay everybody, we're gonna tackle the Madnesses ourselves!" he announced to the Mystery Meisters currently not occupied with fighting the monsters while Black Star crawled back up to the Shack. "Any last words before we go?"

"I got one." Pacifica stated turning to her mom. "Mother, I promise we'll bring Dad home."

"I love you." Soos said to Melody. "I know."

"If I don't come out of this alive," Gideon announced to his father and Ghost-Eyes. "tell my widdle ol' story."

"No offense to any of you guys," Azusa said to Ox, Harvar, Kilik, the Pots, Kim, Jackie, the NOT class girls and Hiro. "But you didn't do that much. Like I said, no offense."

"Eh, I'm used to it." Hiro replied giving a salute to the Mystery Meisters. "Now godspeed, all of you."

"Thanks everyone." Dipper said gratefully taking Excalibur by the hand and putting him in the sheath Mabel made for him. "And don't worry Stan, we'll be here."

"Hey hate to interrupt, but do you think these outfits look kinda dumb?" Black Star asked. "We don't have time B-Star!" Mabel exclaimed hurriedly. "Mabel's right, let's get a move on!" Maka announced arming herself with her father.

--

In the distance, the Four Madnesses were now benched after Greed's brief clash with Black Star watching their master take on the Shacktron from the Fearamid. "When do you suppose we shall strike once more?" the Madness of Sloth snarled biting on the tail of the eight-legged possum Shanknir. "We'll come back once Kishin Cipher is done with the mortals." the Madness of Wrath stated. "But speaking of which, I can sense a certain few of them coming our way."

"We've got you now Medusa! Release our loved ones, and others, or else!" Ford exclaimed leading the Mystery Meisters in cornering the four Madnesses. "It's absolutely hopeless now for all of you." the Madness of Envy purred menacingly while spinning his scythe. "Soon, Kishin Cipher's madness shall flood this town and once we bypass the barrier surrounding this town, we'll move onto the rest of reality as well."

"Barrier?" Marie asked turning to Ford. "That's the law of weirdness magnetism, whatever bizarre thing comes in can't get out." the author briefly explained. "But it seems that through Kishin Cipher's unlimited power that I'm sure he keeps pulling out of his behind, he won't need a special equation I've memorized to lower the shield around town."

"Doesn't matter if he's able to do that anymore, since our lord can warp all reality to his whims." the Madness of Sloth stated. "But enough about him, let's kill you!" The Northwest-turned-beast summoned his giant bell and slammed it onto the ground, creating a small crack in the floor of the lair that began getting larger. "Just wait til this hole begins to get larger and soon you'll fall headfirst on the ground below! I hear mortal brain-matter is delicious this time of year!"

"Listen daddy, I know it's still you underneath that hideous body!" Pacifica called out. "Please, just do anything to tell you still recognize me! I'll even take you ringing that stupid bell again if it means I'm still seen as your daughter!"

The Madness of Sloth prepared to smack his bell again before the girl's words reached his ears. "Pacifica?" he grumbled mid-attack. "He's open, now!" Maka shouted slashing the monster across his face with her father. "You brat!" the slovenly monster roared. "Black Star, tie those three up and we can begin!" the Scythe meister commanded the ninja who readied his chain scythe and lassoed up Sloth, Greed & Envy. "Dipper, did you bring the journal?"

"You bet I did!" Dipper proudly declared fishing Journal 3 from his backpack. "The three of you into position and get your wavelengths rolling!"

"Okay, this is it." Kid remarked as the three formed a circle around the three captured Madnesses. They began forming a connection with their soul wavelengths that built up a forcefield surrounding them. "No, you won't get away with this!" a frantic Medusa howled trying to stop the Resonance, but the barrier had other plans that caused it to send her flying toward her master's throne.

"Everyone, together!" Ford commanded placing his hand on the combined soul. "Wait, is this even possible?" Crona asked the author. "I honestly have no idea, but let's just improvise." Stanford answered while the rest of the group placed their hands on the soul. "Dipper, if you please."

"You got it." Dipper declared opening the journal with his free hand and beginning to read. "Videntis omnium. Magister mentium. Magnesium ad hominem. Magnum opus." he began chanting and everything took on a brilliant cyan glow, from the Mystery Meisters' eyes to the soul surrounding Maka, Black Star and Kid. "Habeas corpus! Inceptus Nolanus overratus! Magister mentium! Magister mentium! MAGISTER MENTIUM!"

In a similarly-colored explosion, all were fast asleep.

--

In a pitch black ethereal realm solely inhabited by three pillars with stained glass portraits depicting the trapped trio, Dipper & Mabel landed on the one depicting their lost great-uncle. "This has to be the place, especially with all the quiet Latin chanting around us." Dipper declared adjusting his cap while Ford, Wendy, Soos, Black Star & Tsubaki landed behind the twins. "And that must be Stan over there!"

Indeed, the boy was right. However, Stan has now been regressed in age in this spiritual plane with his only companion being a silhouette of his father in front of them. "Wait, I remember this! It's like when Crona chatted with his shadow in his soul!" Mabel exclaimed trying to walk towards the shrunken Stanley, when suddenly the shadow blocked her path. It remained completely silent for what seemed like hours before pointing at the group with a earsplitting loud, unearthly shriek while the three pillars rapidly drifted apart from one another.

On the pillar inhabited by Soul, he was currently held in a straitjacket with the Little Ogre holding him on a leash when Maka, Spirit, Crona, Marie, Stein, McGucket & Gideon. "What have you done to Soul you scarlet shithead?!" Spirit screamed preparing for a fight. "What have I done you may ask?" the Ogre snickered while the Latin choir was now backed up by a choppy record player. "Why, I'm simply helping your friend follow his destiny."

"Well what kind of destiny is forcing him against his will to serve a monster?" Marie argued. "Why not just ask the boy." the imp chortled letting go of the leash he held on Soul. "Now go on my boy. Show them how much the master has improved you."

"Like hell I-" Soul began trying to resist control before Ogre pulled hard and electrocuted him. "Make it stop! Just make it stop!"

And finally on Preston's pillar, he was tied to a fancy chair with his head forcefully bowed down while faced by his daughter along with Azusa, Kid, Liz & Patty and Blair. "Dad, can you hear us?" Pacifica called for her father. "What brings you here daughter?" Preston glowered in defeat. "Don't you know that I am beyond redemption?"

"Don't be like that daddy, it's like what Grandpa Auldman said! Even the blackest of hearts have a speck of light within." Pacifica tried comforting Preston, but her hand was slapped away by the bandage tendril of Kishin Cipher. "No no no Llama, YOU shouldn't be like that!" a figment of Bill Cipher scolded the blonde. "It was thanks to me your family was able to rise to the top, but then your generation just had to screw everything up! Need I remind you?"

With a clap of his hands, Bill conjured up a giant bell to threaten Pacifica with. He began ringing it violently, forcing the girl to stand down. "Wait, you're afraid of a bell?" Kid asked her. "Pavlovian conditioning." Preston grumbled. "My wife and I basically made her our bitch with that accursed bell. Go on, shoot me now and end this. All of you know I deserve it."

"No, we haven't lost yet!" Pacifica cried trying to resist the bell and slowly marched towards her dad. "Our...family...name is broken!" she growled in her struggling. "And I'm...going...to...FIX IT!"

"How are you fighting back?! It's like he said, you're his bitch!" Bill screamed continuing to ring even louder before Kid and Azusa shot at him. "And you're all pretty much Shinigami's bitches too, having to do the dirty work while he lazes about because his stupid soul protects that even stupider city!"

"I don't think so Bill." Kid scowled. "Now Blair!" he commanded the cat, who let out a loud "Halloween Cannon!" and blasted the bell out of Bill's hand. "This isn't over you all!" the triangle screeched angrily while fading away. "I'm only a figment of his mind, preparing all of you for the real deal!"

As soon as the imaginary Bill faded, Pacifica made a beeline for her father's prison and released him. "P-Pacifica?" Preston stuttered before his daughter hugged him tight. "B-but why? Bill was right, I was a monster!"

"I know you are, but you can be something more." the blonde said softly. Suddenly, the spirits of every Northwest before them appeared lining up beside the two and facing them. With soft smiles, the ancestors vanished just as quickly as they materialized, leaving a fade to white behind.

--

"More firing, more! More!" Grenda hollered as the Shacktron soared around the now giant Kishin Cipher like a biplane, continuing to shoot at the monster while he waved his arms around trying to swat them down. "Uh gang, don't think we're gonna last any longer out here!"

"Don't lose hope everyone! The unicorn hair will protect us!" Sid exclaimed while in command of the flying hovel. "Though I'm mostly saying this because I've already died before. The rest of you might not be so lucky, not gonna lie."

"If that's the case." Wax Larry King solemnly declared turning to Hiro and Dengu. "Then gentlemen, it's been an honor." He grabbed a violin with his teeth and began playing it with the bow he bit down on, before a large crashing sound was heard. Appearing from the distance was Death City itself, now with its own set of limbs equipped with larger copies of Death's gloves.

"Are you kidding me right now?" Kishin Cipher began chortling at the walking city. "I mean, what's a literal walking town gonna do to-" Before the Dream Kishin could finish, the Death City Robot gave him a fierce jab to the eyes. "THE HELL?!" he screamed falling to the ground. "Seriously, is that you in there old man?!"

"You bet it is Cipher!" Lord Death called from the Secret Vault where he piloted the machine. "Time for us to settle the score, and this time this shall be the day your madness ends forever!" The mobile city then held out its hands and scooped up Kishin Cipher's unconscious form. "Special Attack:" Death announced. "COFFEE TABLE FLIP!"

"SO AWESOME!" the boy band clones Sev'ral Timez cheered. "Who digs giant robots?!" Hiro exclaimed. "I dig giant robots!" Nate replied. "We dig giant robots!" Chutzpar added. "Chicks dig giant robots!" everyone else answered in unison. "Nice!"

--

Back in the mindscape, Soul and Stan were the only ones remaining of the present Madnesses. The shadow form of Filbrick continued his horrible shrieking for another few seconds before abruptly stopping. "Is that your old man?" Black Star asked Ford. "Exactly Black Star. Though he was most certainly a hardass in life and not very kind towards Stan, he was a very mediocre guy very deep down." Ford answered. "Allow me to make peace with him."

The author stepped forward towards the facsimile of his long-deceased father and extended his hand out. "Hello there dad, or at the very least some spawn of Hell taking his form." he greeted Filbrick. "It's me, Stanford. I know this may seem like much, but could you please kindly let my brother go free so that he can join us in saving reality from utter destruction?"

"Not impressed." Shadow Filbrick snarled glaring at his descendants. "Not impressed with what?" the six-fingered genius asked. "With what you've become." Filbrick answered. "Look at you my son. Workaholic, haughty, unforgiving."

"That's all in the past!" Ford argued. "Okay, maybe I'm still a little too focused on my research, but still you have no right to call me out like that!"

"You tell 'em Ford!" Mabel exclaimed before Shadow Filbrick forced a barrier around the others and another over Stan. "They are insignificant, especially to you!" the shadow stated. "Your family is suffocating, correct?"

"No, stop all these lies at once!" Ford continued shouting. "You should watch your tone around your father!" Shadow Filbrick scolded. "I thought your brother was the only ignoramus between you two, but it seems you're just as foolish!"

Stanford didn't say a word after that, except for the growl he let out as he clutched his father's faker's neck tightly. "You take that back about us you faker!" he roared. "I know what you are, you're nothing but a manifestation of our negative emotions!"

Suddenly the barrier lowered around the rest of Ford's party and prepared for a fight. "Get them!" Shadow Filbrick choked commanding an army of duplicates. "Black Star, help me here!" Ford shouted to the ninja. "Yahoo, a chance to show my skills at last!"

"Finally time to put "that" to good use." Tsubaki grinned before they declared in unison, "Let's go, Soul Resonance!"

Tsubaki's weapon form changed from a chain scythe into a katana blade and then into a kunai that Black Star used to create afterimages of himself while running circles around the Filbrick shadows. "Try and catch me suckers!" the man who would surpass God cried out brashly. Sadly for him, the shadows were able to find out which was the real one and apprehend him, snatching Tsubaki away. "Don't worry, I got this!" the Shadow Weapon Meister declared preparing another move. "Ultimate Move: Black Star Big Wave!"

Black Star zoomed in for the kill, elbowing his partner's captor in the back while forcing his palm out, creating a large electrical force in the shape of a star that dissipated the shadow and freed Tsubaki. "And now, onto you!"

Jagged black lines began decorating Black Star's face as his sword finally shattered the shield around Stanley, and the de-aged grunkle looked up. "Black Star, what're you doing back here?!" Stan cried trying to protect himself from the scrambling shadows. "Just saved your life kid. Come with us if you want to live some more!" Black Star exclaimed taking the boy's hand as Stan slowly began returning to his normal age. "Yo Dipper, Ford, we got Stan!"

"Excellent work you two! Now let's finish this." Ford congratulated the pair letting go of his father's impersonator to prepare for the final blow. "Everyone, mobilize!" he commanded standing alongside his returned brother. "Good to be back in the fold poindexter." Stan said with his voice returned to its normal gruff octave. "And thanks for helping me out there kid."

"You're welcome old man!" Black Star replied beginning to charge towards Shadow Filbrick alongside the Stans & Dipper. "Now let's end this!"

"What are you doing?!" Shadow Filbrick cried out in horror before Dipper and Black Star's souls formed a connection. "Twin Blades of Legendary Justice!" the two boys announced their new attack as they stabbed their enemy in the chest while the Stan twins punched him on both sides of his head. "Y-y-y-y-y-you haven't won, YEEEETTTTTTT!"

Those were the final words of the fake Filbrick Pines before he exploded into pure light that covered the entire mindscape, along with similar blasts coming from the other two pillars.

--

"Oh geez, what happened?" Stan groaned slowly getting up off the wet ground and noticing the sky was a beautiful blue. "And where are we? Are we dead? I was betting on biting the dust like a hero."

"I don't think we're dead Grunkle Stan." Dipper stated gazing at Tsubaki standing nude, glowing and covered with black stripes in front of a large deer-like creature colored black with white markings. "Everyone, this is the will of my clan." Tsubaki introduced the creature who glared at the three Pines. "I see you have taken on a pupil of your own my camellia blossom." the will of the Nakatsukasa clan remarked gazing at Dipper. "And it seems he wields the legendary sword Excalibur."

"Yeah, good observation there." Dipper remarked. "So are you going to like, bless me or something?"

"Such a modest young man." the Will of Nakatsukasa commented. "Reminds me quite a bit of Masamune before his fall." he added turning to Tsubaki. "A little, I guess." the young woman replied stepping down to look at the boy. "Are you ready for the next phase of training?"

"Uh, uh, yeah?" Dipper stuttered while he face turned red from trying not to look at Tsubaki's spiritually bare form. "Hey guys, am I late?!" Black Star hollered rushing towards the group. "Hey, we gonna knight Dipper or something?"

"Sure, go ahead Black Star." Dipper answered proudly before the ninja summoned his sword and knighted his newfound equal with it. "Hopefully you can be just as badass as I someday."

"You got it." Dipper answered his new brother in arms with a firm handshake and the realm went white once more.

--

"Please Maka, just kill me and put an end to this! It's the only way I can be free of him!" Soul begged his Meister as the Little Ogre continued pulling on his leash. "Just do it!"

"No Soul, I can't!" Maka cried. "I won't let you die like this, not after all we've done for each other." she stated letting a few tears fall. "We may bicker a lot, but you've done so much for me. I'm your partner, best friend, closest confidant. And maybe we could be something more."

"Called it!" Marie cheered. "Oh, my baby girl!" Spirit replied feeling proud of his daughter. "Wait, when was that a thing?" Gideon wondered. "Bah, don't think the power of love can stop me!" the Ogre scoffed yanking on Soul's chain even harder, the pain forcing him to change into his Madness of Envy form. "Now my slave, finally destroy them!"

Maka armed herself with her father and got to work on trying to free Soul. However for the latter, he had a scythe of his own that is pretty much an exact double of his weapon form. "So it's come to this old friend. Scythe to scythe!"

"Meister to weapon!" Maka replied clashing blades with Soul. "Soul to soul!" Their weapons collided and ground against each other, causing sparks to literally fly. As for the rest of Maka's group, they were forced to fight more shadows similar to Shadow Filbrick.

"We need to find a way to get Soul distracted so that we can save him!" Stein exclaimed while taking command of Marie and fighting back-to-back with Crona. "Anyone have ideas?"

"Why don't we, I don't know, get 'em to kiss?" McGucket suggested. "But how can we do that?" Crona wondered. "Simple, just gotta shove 'em into each other!" Ragnarok suggested. "But we'll have to take out all these first to make more room and make things go smoothly."

"And where have you been this whole time?!" Gideon asked Ragnarok. "You've barely been useful to us for most of this journey ever since we left for Death City!"

"Hey, shut up kid!" the Black Blood sword argued just as McGucket split them up. "Alright you two, let's just get a move on."

"It's like my master said, the power of love is fruitless against me!" Soul hissed proceeding to gain the upper hand on his former partner. "What makes you believe I can be cured?!"

"Because she's got help!" Crona declared trying to push the Madness of Envy towards her. "Quick old man, start playing!" Gideon cried shoving Maka forward. "You got it!" Fiddleford exclaimed beginning to play a romantic tune on his banjo while Stein cleared out the remaining shadows. "What trickery is this?!" the Ogre yelled as Maka & Soul began slowdancing. "Don't fall for that music, just kill them all!"

"W-what are you trying to do Maka?" the final Madness asked slowly beginning to turn back into Soul. "Remember how earlier I said we can be something more?" Maka asked softly. "Well it's because, I do kinda have a crush on you. I mean, after all we've done for each other I'm surprised you haven't admitted that either."

"Yeah, gonna be honest, I do too." Soul confessed. "Even this music is something we made together, isn't it?" he asked slowly bringing his partner in for a kiss. "Yeah."

"NO! NO NO NO! I can't be foiled by the power of cliches, what will Master Cipher think?!" the suited imp panicked trying to separate the newfound lovers. "Well we think you need to go." Crona snarled shoving him off the pillar and into the inky blackness below. "I know he'll get you for all of this!"

As Maka and Soul finally kissed, the mindscape went completely white.

--

"Yeesh, couldn't wait until after we saved the world, huh?"

When the pair broke, they found themselves back in the Fearamid with the entire Mystery Meister crew, plus the recently returned Stan and Preston, surrounding them. Spirit burst into tears about his daughter finding love, Mabel & Marie highfived each other for a match made and Black Star gave his buddy a thumbs up. "My man!"

"Everyone." Soul gasped looking at them all. "And Mr. Pines too!?" he exclaimed staring at Stan. "Yep, in the flesh Sharkbait." Stan cackled and took a deep breath. "Real nice for us all to be back together."

"So where do we go now?" Preston nervously asked and Dipper, Maka, Mabel & Soul looked onward at Kishin Cipher being double-teamed by the Shacktron and the Death City robot. "Kishin Cipher." they declared in unison.

Speaking of which, Kishin Cipher found himself backed into a corner by the two mechanized homes. "So, any suggestions my surviving goons?" he asked the remains of his army. "Well, it seems you can't directly hit the Shacktron." the Summerween Trickster analyzed. "So we must hit something with it!" Wax Sherlock Holmes added. "Like the other robot!" the Flying Dutchman concluded, which gave Kishin Cipher an idea. Shrinking down to regular size, he warped above Death City and extended his arm into its underground to seize Lord Death from his current hiding spot. "Not so all-powerful and all-knowing now, aren't you father?!"

"If this is part of another scheme, that's not going to happen!" Death shouted smacking Kishin Cipher in the face with his glove while being held by the antenna on top of his head. "I'll let you run free, if you hand over my soul." K.C. offered threatening him with an energy blast on his middle finger. "Or perhaps you'd much rather prefer being murdered on the spot in front of your soon to be dead son!"

"I'd never!" the Death God refused. "Well, suit yourself." the Dream Kishin casually answered carelessly dropping Lord Death on the ground from high above before his arm next searched the Death Room, eventually finding Asura's soul buried underneath one of the crosses within.

"Come to papa!" the monster announced swallowing the soul whole and beginning to get more stronger. Tiny bat wings emerged on his head which became more angular & chiseled, his arms more comedically muscular and the bandages forming into demonic wings. "And now for the main course!" he roared excitedly grabbing Death City by the large rock formation underneath and smashing the Mystery Shack into pieces, potentially killing everyone inside. "Oh no, I murdered everyone you love! Ah, don't be a bunch of sadsacks, cause you'll be joining them pretty soon!"

The Mystery Meisters stared in shock, horror and sadness at what just happened. Soos started crying uncontrollably at the possible loss of his fiance, Preston futilely reached out for his wife, Ford dropped to his knees in defeat and everyone else was in mourning.

All except for the Mystery Twins and Maka & Soul, who were absolutely furious at Kishin Cipher. Dipper held Excalibur tightly while tears leaked from his enraged eyes, Mabel stuck to her brother's side, Maka simply glared and Soul clenched his fists in fury.

The final battle for the fate of all humanity has finally begun. And in the distance, a certain clergyman stood atop a tree watching with a wolfman.

--

Hey there boys and girls, sorry this took so long! I just got tied up with so many things that this chapter took me nearly most of the year. But hopefully this is all worth it, even with some parts feeling rushed in my eyes. Is the resistance truly dead and has Kishin Cipher finally won?! Well, I guess the final line might make it pretty obvious. Join us next time for the epic final clash where the fate of Earth and all reality shall be decided.

[orangeoctopi7]

A Familiar Hero

Part 1

Part 2

Seeing the Spider Man in action, Ford’s previous theory that this was a visiting extraterrestrial seemed ludicrous. His every movement, his posture, even his voice exuded familiarity. How could he be anything but human?

But at the same time, how could any human do these things? The Spider Man disarmed two gunners before either of them could fire, pulling the guns out of their hands without even closing his fingers around them. Their male attacker swore, and in one swift motion tried to stab the Spider Man. No one could have seen that coming, and yet the Spider Man pulled away and to the side, easily dodging it as though the assailant had clearly telegraphed the move. He retaliated with a powerful left-hook, knocking the man to the ground like a sack of potatoes. When he turned his attention to the woman, she was already running back out the alley-way. The Spider Man shrugged, obviously deciding chasing her was not worth it. He picked up the man like he was nothing more than an awkwardly shaped sack of flour, and not a sack of flesh and bones coming close to thee hundred pounds.

“What were you idiots thinkin’?!” The Spider Man demanded. “Are you trying to get yourselves killed!? I’m lucky– I mean you’re- you’re lucky I was nearby. What would I have– uh, what would you have done if I wasn’t here?”

The two researchers were too stunned to say anything. They just stared at him with slack jaws.

“I-I gotta dump this guy someplace the cops’ll find him.” He made to leave.

“It’s really you!” Ford blurted out, finally finding his voice. He thought they’d be lucky if they just got to see the Spider Man, and not only had he saved their lives, he was talking to them now!

“You… you know who I am?” The Spider Man tugged nervously at his mask.

“Of course I do! I’ve been following you since the beginning!” Ford grinned. There was something nagging at the back of his head, something about that familiarity, but he was too excited to stop and really think about it right now.

“Wait, seriously!?”

“Ah, well, not literally following you!” The researcher backpedaled, realizing that may have come off as stalkery. “But ever since that first article I found in Peculiar Pennsylvania, I’ve been following every publication and story about you I could find! I can’t believe we were lucky enough to find you!”

“You’ve been looking for me?”

“Well, just since you were sighted here in Portland, it’s the first time there’s been a sighting near enough for conducting a search to be feasible.”

“But… why? Why would you bother lookin’ for me?”

“Are you kidding? You’re amazing! All those people you’ve saved, all those criminals you’ve apprehended, you’re a hero!”

The Spider Man made a sound half-way between a laugh and a sob. “Ford, you really do still care!”

The second Ford heard the Spider Man say his name, that nagging familiarity in the back of his head clicked into place, and he realized who he was talking to just a split second before his brother pulled off the mask.

“Stanley!?”

Stan’s expression of euphoric joy quickly dropped to annoyance. “You said you knew who I was!”

“I was talking about the Spider Man! I know all about the Spider Man!”

“Well obviously not, if you didn’t know he was me!”

“What are you even doing here?”

“What am I doin’ here? What are you doin’ here!?”

“I already told you, you knucklehead!”

“What in the name of Charles Babbage is going on here!?” Fiddleford finally shouted, interrupting the brothers’ argument. “Why does the Spider Man look like you? How do you know him!? This ain’t some, I dunno, shape-shiftin’ sorta thing-a-ma-bob, is it?”

“…Oh. Right. Sorry.” Ford apologized.

“Yeah, that’s another question, who the heck’s this yahoo?” Stan demanded.

Ford gestured towards McGucket, “Stan, this is my research assistant, Fiddleford McGucket.” he then pointed to Stan, “Fiddleford, this is my twin brother, Stanley.”

The two of them just stood there, looking the other over.

“I thought you said you hadn’t talked to yer brother since you was a teenager.” McGucket eventually said.

“I hadn’t, until just now.”

“Well, ain’t that just the craziest coinky-dink you ever heard of.” Fiddleford gave a low whistle.

“Research assistant, huh?” Stan scratched the back of his head with his free hand. “What, uh, what’re you studying?”

“You”

“The Spider Man”

McGucket and Ford said simultaneously.

“Huh. Well, uh, you want me to, I dunno,  pose for a photo or somethin’?”

“Yes!” Ford said quickly. “Mask on, of course.”

“An’ then I can dump this guy someplace the cops’ll find him.”

“And we’ll go our separate ways.” Ford nodded.

“Really!?” Fiddleford exclaimed, “We jus’ randomly ran into yer brother who ya haven’t seen in over a decade, he saves our lives and turns out to be the very cryptid we came here to study, an’ yer jus’ gonna go yer separate ways? Jus like that?”

“There’s a reason we haven’t spoken in so long, Fiddleford.” The young researcher said stiffly. “Besides, I’m sure Stanley has his own life to get back to

Stan harrumphed, folded his arms and looked away. “Yeah. Yeah, sure I do.”

They walked a few blocks until Stan found a dock he said the Coast Guard frequented. McGucket asked him to pull his mask back on and Ford took a few pictures, one of the Spider Man carrying the unconscious man like he was nothing, and a few of him climbing up the warehouse walls. Unfortunately, Ford didn’t get the thrill out of it he’d been expecting. Maybe it was because all the pictures were posed. Maybe it was because, now that he knew who the Spider Man was, there was no longer the thrill of the mystery.

“…Thanks…” Ford said awkwardly when they were done.

“Don’t mention it.” Stan grunted in reply.

McGucket glanced between them, his expression stuck somewhere between perplexion and annoyance. “Well, I guess we’d better head back to the hotel.” He finally sighed.

The two groups had walked maybe ten feet away from each other when Stan turned around and shouted. “Wait! Uh… how far’s your hotel?”

“Downtown, just off the interstate.” Ford replied. “Why?”

“You yahoo’s aren’t gonna walk that whole way yourselves, are ya?”

“We’re taking the bus.”

“That’s still far enough you two could get mugged. What’s the point of me savin’ your lives if you just go an’ get in trouble again?”

“I-is that likely?” Fiddleford stammered nervously.

Stanford sighed in irritation. It didn’t matter how likely it was, because now that the idea was in Fiddleford’s head, the inventor’s anxiety would latch onto the possibility and send him spiralling until he would jump at any little sound or movement.

“My car’s parked not too far from here. Lemme just give you guys a lift back to your hotel.”

Ford sighed. “Fine.” For Fiddleford’s sake, he told himself.

***

“I thought you said your car was close!” Stanford complained ten minutes later.

“It is close, if you can climb straight up an’ over buildings.” Stan defended.

“Well how much further is it?”

“Uh, I think another block.”

“You think?”

“Hey, I don’t usually take the street!”

Ford huffed. “It would have been faster to head for the bus stop.”

“Yeah, and you would’ve wandered through the roughest part of town at 11pm.”

Fiddleford shivered and took a step closer to Stanley. “Let’s talk about somethin’ else! Say, this gives us a chance to ask ya some questions, Stanley! Like, uh… how d’you stick to walls?”

“Uh… I don’t really know. I just sorta think about it, I guess.”

“Well, how’d you know that thug was gonna pull a knife on ya?”

“I dunno, sometimes I just sense danger.”

“How would you describe this sense?”

“I don’t know, ok? It’s like tryin’ to describe colors to someone who was born blind. Look, I don’t really get how my powers work, ok? I just know that they do.”

“Ok, that’s fine.” Fiddleford assured him. “I can ask some different questions. Like, hmm, where’d ya come up with that nifty outfit?”

Stan laughed awkwardly. “Heh, what, this? Just some stuff I’ve slapped together from thrift stores, honestly. Like, these pants’re just workout sweats. They got pockets an’ fleece linin’ and everything. I got another pair that’re lighter for the summer. An’ the mask? Got it at a yard sale in Mazatlan. Just cut some eyes out of an old black basketball jersey I picked up at the same time. Don’t really remember where I picked the gloves up at, probably some bargain bin at like, Walmart or something. And they gave me the coat at this homeless shelter I stopped at in Denver.”

“What?!” Ford exclaimed, turning to face his brother suddenly.

“What?” Stan repeated innocently.

“You said something about a homeless shelter!?”

“Oh! Ha!” Stan forced a laugh. “Did I say homeless shelter? I don’t… I don’t know why I said that. What I meant was– Look, there’s my car!”

Sure enough, across the street behind a gated chain-link fence was the familiar red El Diablo Stanford remembered from his teenage years. It even had the old STNLYMBL license plate. They reached a gate that was closed not with a chain and padlock, but a stout copper pipe bent around the end of the chain-link fence and the side of the gate. Stan grabbed the pipe and unbent it as easily as a normal person would unbend a paperclip. He pulled the gate open wide enough to allow the car to drive out and motioned for the two friends to enter.

Stanford struggled with a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts as he got in the car. Stanley had been in a homeless shelter!? No, no, Stan said that wasn’t what he meant! But he was obviously lying, wasn’t he? Or maybe not. Maybe Stan was helping someone else get to the homeless shelter? Stan was the Spider Man, and the Spider Man helped people, after all. And even if Stan had spent some time in a homeless shelter, it was his own fault, right?

“Hey, uh, sorry it’s such a mess.” Stan apologized, quickly grabbing as much junk as he could out of the front passenger seat and shoving it into the trunk. “I don’t normally give rides.” He moved to the back seat and shoved everything to one side, trying to make room for someone to sit back there.

“You go ahead and sit shotgun McGucket.” Ford insisted. “I’ve at least lived in Stan’s mess before.”

“Hey, I don’t remember you bein’ any cleaner!” Stan protested.

McGucket chuckled. “Yer cabin was a disaster area when I showed up, even fer a bachelor pad.”

Ford rolled his eyes and got into the back of the car without further comment. Sure, he often got so caught up in his research that he forgot to clean, but at least he didn’t leave his clothes laying around in the back seat of his car! Or towels or toothbrushes or… was that a pillow? Then it dawned on him: Stan had been living out of his car. He really was homeless!

The young researcher immediately tried to rationalize things. It made sense, really, with what he knew about the Spider Man. The Spider Man had been traveling all over North and South America, moving from one city to the next, with little rhyme or reason, never staying in one place for too long. It made sense that the Spider Man would live out of his car if he was traveling around so much! …Or was he traveling around so much because he had to live out of his car?

Ford was about to ask his brother if he was homeless, but McGucket beat him to the punch with another question.

“So how’d ya come to be the Spider Man?”

“Well, I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to become a superhero, I can tell ya that much.” Stan replied. “It kinda just happened. I got spotted by a few obsessive nerds like my brother here, sent a few jerks to jail, saved some innocent people, and the next thing I know I’m hearin’ AM radio shows and readin’ obscure articles about my exploits, callin’ me ‘The Spider Man’. And, y’know, I decided to just run with it.”

“Ah. Suppose that makes sense.” McGucket nodded. “But I mean, how’d ya come to have these powers? Obviously ya weren’t born with ‘em, or else Stanford woulda known about ‘em.”

Ford perked up, listening intently. He’d been wondering that himself, but hadn’t quite had the courage to ask. He had an uneasy feeling he wouldn’t like the answer.

Stan stared Ford down through the rear-view mirror for a long moment, almost as though he expected his brother to say something, before finally answering. “What, y’mean the almighty genius Stanford Pines hasn’t figured it out yet?”

“Enlighten us, Stanley.”

“It’s drivin’ you crazy that I know something you don’t, isn’t it? Y’know, I might just revel in this moment a little longer, really let it sink in.”

“Stanley!”

“Alright, alright, fine, but only ‘cuz your friend here’s on the edge of his seat.”

Fiddleford was indeed giving Stan his full attention, a notebook and pen already in hand. “Golly, I wish I had my portable computer with me. Ah well, go on!”

Stan took a deep breath and fixed his brother with another hard look through the rearview mirror. “My brother ever tell you about his senior science fair project?”

“Uh, only that it was an unqualified disaster.” Fiddleford murmured awkwardly. He knew it was a touchy subject for his friend.

“What on earth does that have to do with your powers?” Ford growled.

“Just lemme finish! Anyway, Ford had genetically mutated a bunch of spiders using radiation.” Stan explained. “An’ it was winnin’ all the awards! Best in the school, best in the district, the works. Once it got to state, it got the attention of some big wigs from this fancy school called West Coast Tech. They wanted to offer Ford a full-ride scholarship if his project lived up to the hype when they came to see it. And I… I was scared ‘cuz my bro was movin’ on without me an’ I was statin’ to feel like I was gonna be stuck in Glass Shard Beach forever. I needed someone to blame, so I blamed the spiders.”

“Ahah!” Ford exclaimed, “So you admit it! You sabotaged my project!”

“That’s not what I said!” Stan defended.

“You blamed the spiders, so you smashed their containment unit and killed them all!”

“That’s not what happened! It was an accident!” Stan pleaded.

“How do you accidentally smash a containment unit?”

“Just hear me out!” Stan shouted, slamming on the breaks as they came to a red light. Ford glared at him, and McGucket just watched them both like they were a particularly volatile mixture of chemicals just waiting for the right activation energy to explode.

“Like I said, I was mad.” Stan continued. “And I blamed the spiders. I went into the gymnasium and ranted about everything I was feeling to them. I shoulda talked to you instead, but I didn’t. Once I was done gettin’ all that off my chest, I slammed my fists down on the table to let off some steam. But I hit it too hard. The containment unit tipped off the table and cracked open when it hit the floor. I picked it up right away and tried to cover the crack with my hand to stop them from escaping, but one of the spiders bit me. It startled me, so I dropped it again. And I guess the shock of gettin’ dropped twice in such a short amount of time must’ve killed ‘em or something.

“I shoulda found you and told you right away, but I panicked, and I was already startin’ to feel weird. My vision was swimmin’ and I had a killer migraine, the kind where you feel like all your senses have been turned up too high. So I ran home. After that… well, you remember.”

“I don’t.” Fiddleford reminded them.

“When the representatives from West Coast Tech arrived, all I had to show them was a broken glass globe full of dead spiders.” Ford growled. “I looked like a fool in front of the people I was supposed to get a scholarship from! And what’s worse, when I returned home, Stan tried to shrug it off like it wasn’t a big deal! Like it was a good thing I missed out on the scholarship because now we could go treasure hunting like we’d dreamed of when we were kids! And he had the gall to fake sick so Dad wouldn’t kick him out! Not that it worked.”

“I wasn’t faking it!” Stan insisted indignantly.

“And I still don’t understand how this has anything to do with your powers!” Ford glared at Stan through the rear-view mirror.

“You seriously still haven’t figured it out!?” Stan huffed exasperatedly. “What kind of idiot genius are you?”

“I’m not seein’ the connection either.” Fiddleford admitted.

Stan rolled his eyes. “I get bit by one of those radioactive spiders. Right after that, my vision starts swimmin’ an’ I get a headache like my senses got turned up.” He repeated. Still all he got were blank stares. “The next morning I realized I didn’t grab my glasses when Dad kicked me out. But I didn’t need ‘em.”

“Because you never wore them anyway?” Ford asked flatly.

“I didn’t need ‘em 'cuz I didn’t have eyesight problems anymore!” Stan corrected. “An’ less than a week after that, I started stickin’ to stuff! All my powers developed within a year of that day I got bit by one of your spiders.”

“Sweet sarsaparilla! Stanford, this is unprecedented!” Fiddleford exclaimed, “Do ya still got the notes on them spiders? Imagine if’n we could replicate these results!”

The inventor continued to prattle on excitedly, but Ford was barely listening. He’d just been presented with evidence that completely changed his world-view. Whether or not Stan had been lying about the 'accident’ at the science fair, this was proof that Stan hadn’t been making up his sudden illness. It hadn’t been an unsuccessful attempt to garner sympathy, it had been the early stages of a major postnatal genetic mutation. And that meant Stan had gone through all these probably horrifying changes alone, with no idea what was happening to him. And probably homeless.

Ford was struck with a sudden sense of guilt. All these years he’d held a grudge against his brother, but now he realized Stan had just as much a reason to hold a grudge against him! But… could he really have made any difference? He imagined what would have happened if he’d known his brother was really sick; if he’d tried to stand up to their dad. At best he would have been sent to his room, and at worst he would have been invited to join his brother on the street. No, he couldn’t have changed things then… but maybe if he hadn’t held a grudge for so long, if he’d tried to reach out to his brother as soon as he left home himself, maybe he could have helped his brother then.

“Alright, we’re downtown near the interstate.” Stan said as he stopped at another stop light. “You two see your hotel from here, or is it further down the road?”

“It’s that one with the big green sign.” Fiddleford pointed to a building to their left.

Stan pulled into the drop-off zone and parked in front of the door. “Glad I could help you two get back here safe. I know it’s hard for you, but try not to get into any more trouble for a while.”

He was rolling up the window and putting the car back into drive when Ford made a split second decision.

“Stan, wait!” He raced forward and grabbed the closing window.

Stan stopped cranking the window up and shifted back to park. “What?” he asked apprehensively.

“I-I think we could have a mutually beneficial situation here.”

“English, Sixer!”

“W-we could help each other! You’ve gained remarkable control over your powers on your own, but you don’t really understand how they work, correct?”

“Yyyyeah….” Stan said slowly, not quite catching on to where his brother was going with this.

“Think how much more you could do if you learned the ins and outs of what your body can do now! There might be things you’re not even aware you’re capable of yet! And even beyond your powers, we could help you become a better crime-fighter! Fiddleford’s a real whiz with gadgets, and just a while ago I was working on a device I couldn’t quite get to work, but I think it’d be perfect for you.”

“You… you want me to come back with you guys? So you can do experiments on me?” Stan asked warily.

“Not like that!” Ford assured him. “We’d just like to study you and run some tests…. Ugh, there really isn’t any way to make that sound better. What I’m trying to say is, I wouldn’t ask you to do anything you wouldn’t feel comfortable with.”

Stan still looked skeptical.

“And you’d have some place to stay! I might even be able to pay you if the grant committee accepts my proposal for another research assistant.”

Stan sighed forlornly, and for a terrible moment Ford was afraid his brother would turn him down, but instead he asked. “What time are you leaving?”

“Around 11am tomorrow morning.”

“And where is it we’re going back to?”

“Gravity Falls, Oregon.

“Never heard of it.”

“Well, most people haven’t. It’s a small logging town in the backwoods.”

“Alright. I’ll meetcha back here at 11 tomorrow an’ follow you back to Gravy Falls.”

“Gravity Falls.”

“That too.”

Ford tried to stop himself from grinning. “Thank you, Stanley.”

“Yeah, well, I’m only goin’ so I can keep an eye on you an’ your scrawny friend. Last thing I need is a postcard from Ma sayin’ you’ve been eaten by bigfoot.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Stanley, the largest prey a Sasquatch will bother with are beavers.”

Stan quirked a small smile. “See you tomorrow, nerd.”

[minijenn]

Out Too Far Preview 3

Another one of these cause I’m finally hitting my stride with this chapter and getting to the good stuff. I’m saving all the Big Drama moments for the chapter itself, but this is some good buildup to that, so enjoy!

***

“Thank you, Stan,” Garnet said, turning back to the conman as he boredly leaned against his boat. “You should head back to town. Things are going to get messy around here very soon. Trust me.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice, shades,” Stan sneered, preparing to climb back into his boat. That is, until he happened to catch a sudden odd glint on its otherwise empty wooden bottom. “Huh?” Confused, he reached down, realizing that this glint came from the metal of a blade he knew he hadn’t brought with him. A blade that was quickly withdrawn back under the seat it had been peeking out from under the moment he skimmed it. And of course, based on that, it didn’t take Stan very long at all to figure out what was going on here. “Alright, kid, the jig is up,” he said, reaching under the seat in full and grabbing a fistful of his nephew’s vest in the process. Dipper gasped in surprise as the conman hoisted him up, giving him a broad, disapproving look, one that the Gems all shared as they realized he had secretly followed them along.

“O-oh, uh… h-hey, you guys!” he laughed uncomfortably. “Crazy seeing you all here too, huh?”

“Dipper!” Pearl exclaimed, baffled by this reveal. “What on earth are you doing here?! I thought we told you to stay behind at the barn with Mabel and Steven!”

“Y-yeah, you did,” Dipper glanced away sheepishly as Stan finally set him down. “I just… didn’t really choose to listen to you guys on that? Though, I guess that’s kind of obvious since I’m here in the first place…”

“Kid, how’d you even get out here?” Stan asked, arms crossed. “Don’t tell me you stowed away in my trunk. Cause if you did… well, I gotta say I’m kinda impressed. Guess you have more of my genes in you than Ford’s. Heh, remind me to rub that in his face later.”

“Stan! Don’t encourage this kind of behavior!’ Pearl huffed, annoyed.

“Dipper,” Garnet spoke up, her tone stern yet steady. “You know we only told you to stay behind for your own safety.”

“I do know, but you guys don’t have to worry about me!” Dipper insisted, drawing his sword. “I can defend myself, and maybe I won’t even have to do that if I can just find a way to reach Lapis somehow. Who knows? Maybe I might even be able to convince her to unfuse!”

“Convince her?” Amethyst asked, incredulous. “Dude, have you even seen Malachite? She’s like, completely bonkers! I don’t think just talking to her is really gonna solve this one. Though I’ll give you points for coming up with a very Steveny way to deal with it.”

“But I-” Before Dipper could argue his stance any further, the entire island suddenly shook from its very foundation, nearly knocking the entire group to the ground. The entire surface of the lake seemed to ripple, until the shifting waters practically turned into waves. And from those waves, on the far side of the island but still in sight of the group on its shore, a massive shape began to emerge, thrashing against the chains that had once held her down violently and growling in her heated struggle all the while.

“It… it’s her…” Dipper whispered in shock the moment he saw her. All at once, it was as though he had been struck by the very same anguish he had felt when he had first watched her drag herself into the depths far too long ago. The pain he had felt in all of his failed and futile efforts in trying to get her back. But not again, not today. For today he resolved to push that pain aside in the hopes that he could finally be free from it, that they could both finally be free once and for all.

“Stan, get back on the boat and take Dipper back to town,” Garnet ordered firmly. “Now.”

“No!” Dipper protested, though before he could rush forward, Stan swiftly grabbed him by the arm.

“Listen, kid, just because you’ve got some kinda crazy death wish doesn’t mean I do,” the conman remarked as he began to drag his nephew back towards the boat. “Now c’mon, let’s skip outta here while we still can.”

No sooner had Stan said this, however, then a massive wave, caused by Malachite’s continued fearsome struggling against herself, suddenly burst out of the water and crashed onto the shore. Amethyst acted quickly, shifting herself into an umbrella large enough to shield the entire group, lest they be carried away by the water entirely. But what hadn’t been spared was Stan’s boat, which was easily dragged out of the shore’s reach when the wave quickly retreated. Given how tumultuous the lake’s surface already was thanks to the restless fusion, it didn’t take long for yet another high wave to overwhelm the small boat entirely, snapping it clean in half before dragging both halves down into the depths.

“Nooooo!” Stan cried, running out into the shallows to try and salvage his sinking ship. “My boat!”

“Well, that’s… convenient,” Dipper noted largely to himself before turning back to the Gems with a triumphant grin. “Oh well, looks like you guys have to let me stay here and help after all.”

“No, we don’t,” Pearl shook her head, adamant. “Both of you need to find somewhere to hide where Malachite won’t be able to see you. As destructive and out of control as she is, there’s no telling what she’d do if she spotted two humans in her range.”

“Oh, come on!” Dipper sighed petulantly, getting incredibly tired of being told no on this matter.

“No, you come on, kid,” Stan reiterated, grabbing Dipper’s arm once more and more or less dragging him towards the island’s dense forest. “It’s bad enough I lost my only boat, I’m not about to lose my only life too. Oh, and uh, you I guess.”

Dipper scowled, quite disgruntled as the conman forced him just past the tree line and into the woods. However, just past that tree line happened to be pair of Watermelon Stevens, completely oblivious to the danger that was only just beginning to beset their peaceful island home. Instead, they were simply content to enjoy playing their makeshift bongos together, or at least they were until one of them suddenly seized up and collapsed to the ground before snapping back to life just as quickly.

When Steven awakened, it didn’t take him very long to realize that his aim had been successful. For sure enough, with a single glance down, he found the short, green, stubby legs of one of his watermelon doubles rather than his own. The young Gem allowed himself a small celebratory cheer at this (or as much of a cheer as he could get out since his speech was quite limited in this form) before quickly getting up and rushing down to the shore, leaving a very confused other Watermelon Steven behind.

All the same, Steven broke out of the woods only to find the Gems, standing together against Malachite, who was still engrossed in a struggle all her own to the point that she hadn’t even noticed their presence yet. “Alright,” Garnet said, extending her hands out to her teammates. “Let’s put an end to this.”

Pearl and Amethyst agreed, simultaneously breaking into a synchronized, smooth dance towards Garnet, who did the same as she remained stationary. And as the trio met, with hardly any effort at all, their forms lit up, joining together and rising up to form a force that would finally be enough of a match for Malachite herself: Alexandrite.

At the same time, Malachite’s own internal fight only seemed to intensify as she tugged hard against her aquatic chains and manacles. For weeks now, the bonds had remained steady and constant, Lapis’ own intense fortitude and resolve proving enough to weigh them both down. However, Jasper wasn’t the type to let herself stay buried under the surface for too long, and sure enough, she had brutishly pushed her way past the blue Gem’s restraints, entirely bursting free from them entirely.

“Augh! Give UP!” the twisted fusion shouted, her disjointed voice echoing across the lake. With one final, fierce pull, the watery chains snapped, at last releasing Malachite, or rather, her more vicious half from her lengthy imprisonment. “Finally…” she grinned, rubbing her wrist where the manacles had once held her. “I’m impressed. You really held out.”

“MALACHITE!” Alexandrite’s fearsome shot rippled across the water as the powerful fusion splashed into the shallows of the lake herself, ready to square off. While initially surprised, Malachite sneered as she turned to her, recognizing well the group of Gems that this opposing fusion was composed of.

“Hmph, they’re here. Figures they’d come running to protect all those stupid humans,” the twisted fusion turned her nose up at the crowd of townsfolk still spectating on the distant main shore. Even so, as submerged in their shared mind as she now was, Malachite’s other half growled in protest at the thought of exactly who might possibly be within that group. “Ugh! Stop!” she hissed, forcing her other half back into the darkness of their fusion’s existence. “Pathetic! Don’t you see? We’ve been holding us back for too long! And for what? If we’re going to be this thing together, why don’t we have some fun?”

“We don’t have to fight!” Alexandrite appealed, all six of her hands clenched into tight fists. “You’re outnumbered.”

Malachite didn’t respond right away, bowing her head low as she tightened her own fists for battle. As she did, two similar arms rose up from the water, composed entirely of liquid and just as ready for the fray ahead as she was. “I may be outnumbered… but you’re out of your depth!” With two swift sings, the water fists both slammed into Alexandrite, catching her off guard and sending her stumbling back in the water, unsteady but hardly ready to fall to pieces so easily. “I can’t wait to tear you Gems apart!”

[silversoul596]

Wendip Week Prompt 2: Time Travel

Here is the second prompt for Wendip week! Before reading this it does contain a bit of graphic horror but it isn’t nothing too serious, I hope you enjoy it because I put a lot of thought into this one, without further due, here it is! 

Sunday July 23rd 2017 Gravity Falls carnival  Gravity Falls, Oregon 

It was just another normal day for me, well as normal as it could be. 

“Dipper come on!” Wendy giggled excitedly as she ran ahead of me, we were on a date at the carnival.

“I’m coming I’m coming!” I waved to her and ran after her, We had been here almost all day but we still had another ride to go on.

The day was going by smoothly, we’d been dating for almost a year now and she was off to college next year after she turned 20.

“Come on the ride dude!” She pointed at the roller coaster “Oh uh, I don’t really do roller-” Before I could finish my sentence I was being dragged to it. 

“You’ll thank me for this” She gave me a sly smile as the seats locked in place and the ride began to move. 

I wasn’t too scared at first but when it dropped from the climb I got scared shitless, It went left and right so fast, I couldn’t believe I could yell so loudly.

When the ride stopped I could swear my soul left my body “Dude that was awesome!” Wendy raised her hands up in the air with giddiness.

“Woo...” I said less enthusiastically, I looked at the time which read 23:37. it was getting late so we began to head back home. 

We were in the woods, the cool summer breeze surrounding us. We were at the parting where on way led to hers and the other back to the mystery shack.

“Tonight was amazing, thanks for bringing me out here” She kissed my cheek before we parted. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you home?” I asked her and she shook her head “Nah its alright, I’ll be fine” And with that we parted ways, but if I had known what was about to happen I would’ve made it the best day of her life...

“Dipper!” I was woken up to someone shouting my name “Dipper!” They yelled again, I pulled myself out of bed lazily and began to get changed. 

after I got changed 

“What is it?” I saw Grunkle Ford and Grunkle Stan both standing there with worried looks on their faces. 

“What’s wrong? Why you got the long faces?” I yawned, obviously still half asleep. 

“Dipper I don’t know how to tell you this-” Ford babbled on but Stan gave a heavy sigh. 

“Kid, I’m sorry but its wendy... She’s been...” Stan looked away “Killed...” My eyes widened, the pain I saw on their faces was nothing compared to what I was feeling right now. 

“W-What do you mean” I took a step back “Haha, nice joke guys this isn’t funny” I spoke in disbelief, they just stood there.

“Tell me its a joke, right?” I could feel the tears coming “Kid I’m sorry-” I snapped and interrupted him “TELL ME ITS A JOKE” I yelled at them.

“It’s not, she was found dead this morning just a bit away from her house” Ford stated, a look of pain on his face. 

I stood there in shock, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing “This can’t be happening...” Thoughts raced through my head, anything at all would do. 

Finally I thought of something, it was incredibly risky but I didn’t care. “Dipper where are you going?” Ford and Stan asked in unison. 

I ran towards the vending machine and punched in the code, the machine vented and moved. I climbed down the ladders and ran into Fords lab. 

I could hear Ford and Stan behind me “Kid what are you doing?” They questioned me but I was too busy searching. 

Finally after raking through the drawers I found it “The Time tape” I said to them and Fords eyes widened “No Dipper don’t!” He ran towards me but I puled the blue tape to rewind to yesterday...

THUD 

I landed on the ground, my back aching “Jesus christ, I hope it worked” I sat upright and rubbed my back. 

I looked around to see that I was in the middle of town “Dammit what’s the date” I ran over to the local convenience store and grabbed a newspaper  “Sunday 23rd!” I exclaimed with joy 

I checked the time “23:37″ I read out loud “That means we’ll be walking back the now!” I Stood up on my feet and started running. 

I ran as fast as I could Towards where we parted, I ran as fast as I could. 

“I gotta find out what happened first, so I know what happens” I whispered to myself, knowing I would have to see her get killed again.

I saw my past self and Wendy wave goodbye as they parted, I decided to tail Wendy.

She was walking through the forest, earphones plugged in. everything looked normal so far. 

Just as she exited the forest she began to cross the road, that’s when I noticed a car rev its engine. 

“What the...” As I watched the car accelerated and slammed into her “Jesus christ Wendy!” I began to move over to her but she got back up. 

She screamed out in pain as she stood up, her leg broken. She struggled to get away but someone in a black hoodie got out the car. I couldn’t see their face because the hood was covering their face. 

They ran over to her and grabbed her, throwing her to the ground. the pulled out a knife and stabbed her. 

I tried to hold myself back and I couldn’t help but be sick at what I had witnessed. “No I have got to stop this” I declared to myself and I pulled out the time tape, resetting the clock once again. 

I materialised in the same location in the middle of town and made no waste of time rushing over to them. 

This time I watched as they separated and I tailed Wendy again “I’ll save you this time I swear” I marked my arm with a pen I had in my pocket to know how many times I jumped back in time. 

“Okay its showtime” I said out loud once again. As the car revved its engine and sped towards her I ran over and grabbed her, moving both of us out the way. 

“Dipper? Oh my god why are you here!” She exclaimed with fear “Don’t worry you’re okay” I helped her up. 

“Thank god you’re okay” I sighed to myself, the feeling of relieve sweeping me up. 

Wendy’s eyes widened with fear “Dipper move!” I didn’t have time to react as she pushed me out of the way. 

What I saw was horrifying. She pushed me out of the way of the murderer and she had been stabbed again. 

“NO!” I yelled out in anger and I looked at his face, but to my surprise it was covered with a Zombie mask. 

They turned to me but I pulled out the time tape “I’m gonna fucking kill you!” I yelled at him but he slashed at me, cutting my T-shirt before travelling once again back in time. 

I landed once again in the middle of town. I checked the time and it was 11:24 “Okay I set it back further perfect!” I proclaimed. 

I set off to the carnival where Dipper and Wendy had just gotten off the ride. I ran over to a telephone booth and put in a couple of coins. I dialled in my phone number and watched. 

I saw my past self pull out the phone and click answer “Hello who is this?” He questioned and I cleared my throat “Kid its me, come over to the toilets for a minute” I tried to convince him with my best Grunkle Stan  impression.

“I’ll be over in a few” I could hear him say and I smiled, hanging up the phone. I ran over to the toilets and waited for him to come over. 

“Stan where are you!?” I heard him exclaim and I ran up behind him, pushing him into a toilet stall. I shoved the toilet stall over so the door was on the floor making it impossible for him to get out. 

I ran over to where Wendy was stood waiting. “Hey!” I waved to her and she waved back. “So we going then?” She smiled sweetly and I got goosebumps “Yeah we are” We headed off towards the woods. 

“You wanna come over to mine?” I questioned and she shrugged “Sure, my dad won’t mind” I Fist bumped and she cocked her head to the side. 

“Dude why is your clothes all messed up?” She questioned and I tried to think of a good excuse. 

“I... Ran into a deer?” I lied to her and she nodded “That must’ve hurt, you okay?” She placed her hand on my shoulder and I nodded. 

“Yeah I’m fine!” I smiled as we got to the Mystery Shack, But something unexpected happened. 

“Dipper move!” Wendy shouted and I turned to see the murder once again, but why is he here? 

“Wendy come on!” I grabbed her hand and ran over to the golf kart, starting the engine and driving off. 

“Who was that guy!?” Wendy exclaimed with confusion and I sighed “He’s trying to kill you and I don’t know why!” 

The color on her face drained “What!” She exclaimed but I was too focused driving, riding into town. 

“Yes I did it!” I yelled with a cheer but it was all short lived. I heard a screeching sound next to me and the car the murderer drove rammed into the side of us, causing a collision. 

I flew out the side of the car and Wendy landed next to me. 

I got up, hardly scratched and moved over to her “Wendy get up!” I shook her body but her body didn’t respond. I knew all too well what had happened. 

“No, no no no no. Not again!” I cried out to her but it was to no use. 

“Again, I gotta go back in time again!” I pulled on the tape, sending me back for another try. 

And I tried. And tried. And tried to no avail. Over and over again trying to save the love of my life. Every time I tried to save her, saving her in different ways. But every time the out come was the same. 

I pulled the tape once again and warped back in time. I pulled out the pen and marked my arm “74 times, 74 for times I’ve went back in time...” I was beginning to think it was impossible. 

that her death was a fixed point in time but I refused to accept it. “There has to be something that could work!” I tried to think and think. 

“Of course!” I clicked my fingers and I pulled the time tape, warping me to the present. 

I landed where I had been right after I used the time tape for the first time “Dipper!” Ford ran over to me and grabbed my shoulders. 

“Are you stupid! That device hasn’t been tested properly yet! And changing time is dangerous!” He yelled at me and I sighed. 

“Sorry” Is all I could say and he looked at my arm “These marks count 74... Dipper have you went back in time 74 times?” He questioned me and I stayed quiet. 

“Oh my god, you have” His eyes widened with shock “Dipper oh my, you must have tried so hard to save her...” He sighed with disappointment. 

“I’m not done trying yet!” I exclaimed and I shrugged past him “Dipper wait what are you doing?” Ford questioned me but I ignored him. 

I ran up the stairs to mabels room and barged in to where she was on her bed crying. 

“Dipper...” She wept and I sighed “Guess you heard what happened...” She nodded as tears streamed down her face. 

“Mabel listen I need your help to save her” I pulled out the time tape and she looked up at me shocked. 

“Dipper are you serious!?” She whipped her tears away and I nodded “I’ve tried 74 times already and I’m not giving up!” I smiled and she nodded.

“Mystery twins!” We exclaimed before we warped back in time one last time to save the love of my life...

“Right so do you know the plan back to front?” I asked Mabel and she stuck her thumb up “You know I do Bro-Bro” She gave me a toothy grin and I smiled back.

“Okay its showtime!” Mabel exclaimed as she ran off and the plan set into motion. 

I ran to where Wendy was originally murdered, Now all I had to do was wait.  If my plan goes as it should Mabel should be here with Wendy any second... “Now!” I exclaimed to myself and I was right. 

Mabel and Wendy where walking out the forest and onto the road, the car revved its engines like it should and sped towards them. 

“Wendy look out!” Mabel grabbed Wendy and moved the both of them out of the way of the car. 

I decided it was time to make my move and run over to them. 

“Nice job Mabel!” I gave her a high five and Wendy looked confused. 

“What the hell is going on!?” She screamed and I looked at Mabel.

“We’ve travelled back in time about, 75 times to save your life!” Mabel grinned at her and her eyes widened. 

“What did you just say!” She looked shocked and I felt horrible but this was no time for that.

“Guys look!” I pointed to the car where the murderer emerged from. He ran towards us but we were ready. 

“Now!” Me and Mabel both ran at him and hit him, pushing him over. 

I dove on top of him, ripping the mask off of his face but to my surprise I was shocked to see who it was. 

“R-Robbie!” I exclaimed in horror, the look on his eyes were on of murder. .

“Get off me!” He pulled his knife out and I swiftly dodged it.

“Why are you trying to kill Wendy!” I yelled at him and he laughed “Cause why the hell not! She dumped me and look who she decided to go out with, a stupid nerd!” I couldn’t believe it. 

“She was mine and only mine! If I can’t have her then no one can!” He laughed as he ran towards me, managing to pin me down. 

“Dipper!” Mabel screamed to me “Don’t move or he gets it!” He hissed to her, making her drop dead in her tracks. 

“When I’m done with you, She’s next!” He laughed as he raised the blade in the air and I got prepared to accept it. My life flashed before my eyes and I didn’t want to go. 

Suddenly, Wendy hit him with a small log and he fell to his side. “Dipper!” She screamed as she pulled me up and Mabel kicked the knife out of Robbie's’ hand, holding him down. 

“Let me go you Assholes! I’ll kill all of you!” He spat at us and I sighed “Robbie I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to do this” I pulled out a second time tape. 

“Where did you get that?” Wendy asked and I smiled “Always keep two of everything in Fords lab, good thing he made a second copy” I laughed and I pulled the batteries out of it. 

“This has one time jump left, and I’m sending you back to the Jurassic era. Enjoy you Asshole” I set the tape back to the Jurassic era and set it on his chest.

“No! Don’t do this! No!” But it was too late, We watched the blue flash as Robbie warped back into time for the first and last time. 

“Good riddance” I Sighed, finally it was over. All that hard work and it was finally over..

“wendy...” I smiled to her and she smiled back “See you tomorrow, future boy” She winked at me and I nodded. 

“Lets go Mabel” I said with relief and she nodded, I pulled the tape back one last time and we returned to the present. 

“Dipper!” Immediately I was met by a crushing bear hug by non other than Wendy. 

“Wendy!” I finally let my emotions get the better of me and I wept. I wept like a river but that was okay because I finally had the thing that means the world to me. 

“You are the most insane, craziest person I have ever met Dipper Pines and I love you so fricken much!” She exclaimed before pulling me in for a kiss. 

“Seems you sorted it out huh” Ford smiled and we separated from the kiss “How do you still remember what happened? Wait why do we still remember?” I questioned and Ford sighed. 

“People who are involved in time travel or knows that events will be changed keep their memories. Don’t question it” He stared at nothing, as if he was staring at some sort of viewers not to ask questions about the time travel or something (WINK WINK) But I didn’t mind. 

I had saved the love of my life and that’s all that mattered...

[anistarrose]

Ford in Amphibia - Chapter 2

Summary: Ford is subjected to mild bullying, and the gang decides to hunt an endangered species but makes an unexpected new friend along the way.

Warnings: none

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19375102/chapters/47328493

The Beginning

This chapter references a few more episodes of Amphibia than the last one, but doesn’t spoil any overarching plot details past the first episode, so it should be possible to read even if you’re not caught up. This is starting to look like it’ll eventually wind up as four-chapter fic, so stay tuned for more!

***

Ford sat on the couch next to Anne, watching intently as she flicked through albums of photos on her phone.

“Here’s my cat, Domino — oh, and here she is again, in my parents’ kitchen! What a little troublemaker!”

“She’s quite precious,” Ford agreed. “You say you have music on this device too?”

“Of course!” Anne answered. “I’ve got all the best tunes — stuff to dance to, stuff you can sing along with, stuff to listen to as you think about how far you are from home and regret your life choices —”

“Do you have anything by Eurythmics? Or Talking Heads?”

Anne stared at Ford blankly.

“Or do you prefer classical? The Planets by Holst, maybe?”

“Uh, I’ve got All Star by Smash Mouth —”

“Mention that song again and you’re dead to me,” Ford growled.

There was an awkward pause, and then Ford sighed. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be surprised that we appreciate different aspects of human culture. You’re young, and I… left my dimension a very long time ago.”

“That’s, um — that’s too bad,” Anne stammered, not really knowing what to say. “Uh… do you want to keep looking at pictures?” she finally asked.

Ford didn’t say no, so she opened a new album. “Here’s some of me and Sprig, and of some wildlife we saw the other day — oh, and here’s where I tried to teach Sprig how to use the camera! You can tell because it’s all blurry and —”

“Wait!” Ford interrupted. “Go back! To the one with the caterpillar — er, the cat-erpillar, rather!”

“This one?” Anne pulled up a picture of a black, orange, and red cat-erpillar glimpsed from across a meadow.

“That’s it! See the flame pattern, and those prominent tufts on the neck? That’s the endangered Sunburst Mountain Cat-erpillar!”

“Whoa, are you like a conservation expert?” Sprig asked, springing onto the couch. “Do you need to capture it and get it to breed with others of its kind to save the species?”

“Quite the opposite, actually,” Ford told them. “I need a sample of its chrysalis for my own use — and ideally I won’t seriously harm any specimens, but you never know!”

Noticing Anne and Sprig’s mildly horrified looks, he went on: “Let me explain. For years now, I’ve planning a mission to a very dangerous dimension, of which the atmosphere is contaminated with just about every pollutant imaginable. There will be zero margin for error on this mission, but if I inhale too many of those pollutants, they’ll almost certainly hamper my performance. So for the past few weeks, I’ve been searching for a solution…”

He pulled a carefully rolled-up piece of paper from his pocket, and spread it out in his lap to reveal a detailed scientific drawing of the cat-erpillar and its cocoon, along with a sketch of a mountain with wisps of smoke emanating from the peak.

“Every generation of the Sunburst Mountain Cat-erpillar pupates near volcanic vents, and as a result, they’ve evolved so that their chrysalides absorb and break down a wide variety of toxins. I learned of their existence shortly after coming to your world, and I’ve been trying to track one down ever since in the hope that harvesting some of that chrysalis material would help me design an air filter to get around that pollution problem — but unfortunately, the location of Sunburst Mountain has been lost to time, since those vents are dormant most of the year. The whole time I’ve been here in the valley, I’ve just been stumbling around blindly without glimpsing hide nor hair of any of the right cat-erpillar species.”

He flipped his paper over, and pulled out a pen. “The period of vent activity should only last another week or two this year, and at this rate I’m probably going to miss it — but if you could tell me where you saw that specimen the other day, then I’d have my best lead yet!”

“Cool!” Sprig exclaimed, at the same time that Anne spoke up:

“I gotta admit, tracking down a lost volcano sounds like loads of fun, but… cat-erpillars are a lot more dangerous than they look. Sprig can tell you about the Domino Two incident — did not end well for anyone, except maybe Domino Two herself.”

“Oh, I know how to handle myself, don’t worry! I’ve conquered many foes more deadly than a mere —”

They were interrupted by a yelp as Hop Pop jumped straight up, slamming into the ceiling.

“Darn it, Ford, I know you mean us no harm, but every time I walk by here I think there’s an owl perched on our couch and my heart skips a beat!” He rubbed his head, and began collecting the books he’d dropped.

Sprig snapped his fingers. “That’s it, an owl! I knew he reminded me of something predatory!”

“What?” Ford scowled. “I do not look like an owl!”

“Uh, except you kinda do!” Polly chimed in, bouncing into the living room behind Hop Pop. “There’s your big wide eyes, and the way your eyebrows jump up and your head whirls right around whenever you hear something behind you — oh, and the way your cloak billows behind you like giant wings!”

“You’ve got to be joking! I —”

“Such a majestic and terrifying creature!” Polly went on, tugging on Ford’s cloak. “You are the swift and deadly hunter I wish to emulate! Will you teach me your ways?”

Ford’s mouth opened and then closed, at a loss for words, but Anne cut in.

“Hey, that’s enough. Owls are supposed to be wise, remember? Ford set his face on fire less than five minutes after we met him. I think that instantly disqualifies him from owl resemblance.”

Ford just shook his head as Anne and Hop Pop cackled.

“And did you see how he slept on the couch last night?” Sprig added. “His face was buried in a whole stack of pillows and his feet were practically out the window! No majestic old owl would sleep like that!”

“I still want to see him in action, though,” Polly declared. “What do you hunt, old man? Tell me so that I may watch you and learn your ways of stealth and dismemberment!”

“I’m not planning to dismember any endangered species if I can avoid it,” Ford corrected her. “But you’re welcome to come with me anyways. The more eyes who know this area, the better!”

“Ooh, can we take Bessie?” Sprig asked. “Anne can drive us!”

Hop Pop’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t know. I’ve got errands to run, and I’m not sure how I feel about letting you all run off without a chaperone…”

Ford stifled a laugh. “Hopediah, I’ve earned degrees in everything from cryptobiology to quantum physics — I’m basically the best chaperone these kids could hope for. Think of it as an educational outing!”

“Oh, well why didn’t you say so? That’s fine, then — just be sure to be back before nightfall!”

“Woo-hoo!” Anne cheered. “Time for an adventure with the weird hobo scientist from outer space that we adopted!”

“Adventure! Adventure! Adventure!” Sprig and Polly chanted. Anne joined in almost immediately, and after a moment, Ford did too.

***

“Okay, I think this is where we saw it,” Anne announced as Bessie the snail slowed to a halt at the edge of a clearing. The meadow was dotted with patches of mud, and seemed devoid of any life besides a lone chickfly that squawked and flew off as the gang dismounted.

“It looks… swampier than last time,” Sprig mused. “Did it rain over here or something?”

Ford knelt down in front of one of the patches of exposed mud, removing his glove to run a finger along the edge. “If anything, it looks like a creature tore up the grass at the surface while hunting here, revealing the damp earth underneath.”

“But these claw markings are huge! Whatever made them must be bigger than me!” Anne shuddered. “Ford, do you know why everything is so giant here?”

“Not for sure, but I can certainly speculate!” Ford’s face lit up. “For one thing, my preliminary scans have shown that there’s more oxygen in the atmosphere of this dimension than there is in the environment either you or I would’ve came from, which paleontology suggests may allow for life to grow larger.”

“Ugh, forget I asked,” Anne muttered, but Sprig bounded over to Ford’s side, eyes wide.

“Wow, really? If you and Anne keep breathing our air, will you get bigger too?”

“Not necessarily due to the oxygen concentrations,” Ford told him, “but that’s not the only difference between our dimensions! Gravity is slightly weaker here too, which most importantly means that it’ll be easier for the skeletons of megafauna to support their body mass, but also could cause Anne and I to pick up a few extra millimeters when our spinal columns expand. The effect should be subtle, but less weight pressing our vertebrae together means we’ll stand a little taller.”

“You’re not a majestic owlish hunter after all,” Polly groaned. “You’re just a nerd.”

“He’s a brave adventurer and he knows all about everything!” Sprig told her. “I want to be just like him when I grow up!”

“Two nerds,” Polly grumbled.

“Hey, guys?” Anne poked Sprig in the shoulder with a stick. “There’s something coming this way, and it’s kinda… on fire?”

“Where?” Ford leapt to his feet. “Is it a cat-erpillar?”

“No, it’s more like… an amorphous blob.” Anne pointed towards the creature, which had made its way almost halfway across the clearing. “I’d stay back, in case it explodes in our faces… oh, or you could just walk right up to it! That too!”

“Would you look at that!” Ford exclaimed, kneeling at the creature’s side. “I hadn’t expected to find any cryptozoological oddities I was familiar with here!”

“Cryptozoological?” Sprig tilted his head. “I thought that stuff was all bogus.”

“As in, like, cryptids?” Anne asked. “I saw a Moss-Man here once, does that count?”

Ford plucked a twig from the ground and placed it in the palm of his hand, which he then slowly extended towards the anomaly. The mass of its body seemed to be concentrated in a blob of mud that spilled across the ground with a radius of about half a foot and a height of about five inches at its highest point, from which several plumes of glowing green gas extended.

Two small, dark eyes blinked within the largest plume, and a muddy tendril extended from the creature’s base. For a moment, the mud began to pool in Ford’s hand, but then it pulled the twig back to its main body with a sudden slurp, leaving almost no dirt or moisture behind whatsoever. The twig vanished inside the muddy blob, and the creature gurgled in satisfaction.

Ford ran a hand through the fiery-looking plumes and Anne cringed, but he didn’t get burned. The creature’s flickering eyes widened as it responded with some semblance of a purr, apparently eager for more petting.

“Fascinating! I’ve encountered Scampfires back home, but I think this individual might be better referred to as a ‘Swampfire!’ Although technically speaking, there doesn’t seem to be any actual fire involved — I suspect it’s fueled by phosphorus and hydrocarbon compounds from that muddy blob of biomass, which undergo some form chemiluminescence to produce light without a substantial amount of heat.”

“Is it dangerous?” Polly asked. “Or will it help us on our quest?”

“Neither, I think,” Ford replied. “It seems perfectly content to just ooze along here and keep absorbing plant matter while we head on our way — although, I should really get a quick sketch first!” He pulled out a pen and notebook, adjusted his sitting position, and set to work.

“What happened to finding the cat-erpillar?” Anne groaned. “I thought that was some critically vital mission or something!”

“Oh, it is!” Ford told her. “But it’s not every day one gets to discover and catalog a new anomaly! You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if Swampfires exist in my dimension too, but are endangered due to habitat loss… Humanity really needs to do a better job of preserving wetlands and all the biodiversity they contain…”

Sprig peered over Ford’s shoulder at his work — a set of simple drawings, cartoonish yet detailed enough to capture all the details of the Swampfire’s form in multiple poses. “Wow! You drew that so fast!”

“Thank you, I’ve been doing this for quite a while! Now, Swampy, if you could hold that pose for just a moment…”

Swampy, naturally, chose that moment to bolt, darting back between the trees with surprising speed as its lights dimmed.

“Drat. Well, what I’ve got down here is still better than nothing —”

“Hey, guys?” Anne asked. “Is it just me, or did a really big shadow just pass over us?”

In unison, the four of them looked up. Above, a massive shape blocked out the sun — a shape with wide eyes, a pointed beak, and long, silently flapping wings.

“Scatter!” Ford shouted as the owl dove towards the clearing, and the children bolted as its talons raked the ground.

***

End notes:

Thanks for reading, feedback/reblogs are appreciated as always!

This was very fun to write, as fics with Ford often are, because I got to use him as an excuse to ramble about science! Since Sprig showed an interest in science in “Family Shrub,” I figured he’d be pretty inquisitive, and look up to the whole adventurer-scientist deal Ford has going on.

Swampy the Swampfire, also known as the best character I’ve ever written about, is based partly off the Scampfires from Journal 3, and partly off of the “will-o-the-wisp” ghost lights, which are believed to be a result of gases produced in wetlands by decaying plants. (The endangered due to habitat loss detail Ford mentions isn’t a joke, either — according to Wikipedia, will-o-the-wisp sightings are rarer nowadays, and it’s probably because wetlands keep getting destroyed. We need to save the Swampfires!)

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 69

AN: Heyoooo well this one’s finally done, thank god we’re so close to the end of arc 7 I can almost taste it. Anyway, this is a fun little chapter with some deeper stuff in it that I quite like. So I won’t keep you from it. Enjoy!

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/186319809934/universe-falls-chapter-68

***

Chapter 69: Crash Site Omega

KTIT GSYW GRFUZKD GA PUNU MKU TVQC RETF E YHWB FKHWZH HEZAA G SSOVKT YQTZ FCD CKAFE ST EBP YTCCHIXER NC ONHDIVIR RVOEBPW

With the drill finally finished as it was, no one saw too much of a reason to put off using it for too much longer. Especially considering they were on something of a tight time constraint when it came to dealing with the problem it was created to subdue. Still, before sending the machine on its maiden voyage through the surface of the Earth, pretty much everyone had mutually agreed on preforming a few final tests on it first. Given their close involvement with the technical side of the drill, this was a task that Peridot, Pearl, and Ford in particular had volunteered to undertake. To further ensure the drill’s soundness and stability was up to par, the trio had invited McGucket to come over to the barn to help them with their checks, given that he was largely responsible for creating the machine’s blueprints in the first place. For the most part, their tests all went off without any hitches, and save for a few minor quick tweaks and fixes here and there, the group soon enough decided that the drill was finally ready to plunge through the depths of the Earth to rid it of the threat the Cluster posed once and for all.

But that was a feat for tomorrow. For tonight, everyone had decided to take the rare opportunity to relax and rest up for the daunting task ahead of them instead. The Gems, kids, and scientists alike had all gathered around a strong, roaring campfire, the drill proudly reflecting the flames as it sat positioned nearby. True, they all had plenty to fret and worry about, from their no doubt dangerous trek down to the Cluster in just a few hours, to the dreadful alliance between a certain demon and a certain Diamond they still knew so very little about. But for just one night, they had all mutually agreed to let those fearful thoughts go and simply take some time to revel in their successful project and enjoy each other’s company, in the hopes that they’d have even more time to do so once the Cluster was no more.

A round of amused laughter arose from the group around the fire, largely as a result of Peridot’s first attempt at trying to roast a marshmallow over the open flames. Of course, no one had warned the green Gem to not shove the treat into her mouth while it was still on fire, resulting in a panic that was more than entertaining for everyone watching on.

“Gah…” Peridot let out a sigh of relief as she finally managed to cool down. “Why is it that every edible object on Earth is so… scalding hot?”

“Aw, Peri, clearly you’ve never had ice cream before,” Mabel remarked, still chuckling. “It’ll change everything you thought you knew about Earth food, trust me.”

“…But that doesn’t make any sense,” the green Gem frowned, confused. “Ice is a solid object. It can’t be ‘creamed’!”

Of course, this observation only elicited another bout of laughter from the rest of the group, much to Peridot’s continued bafflement. Even so, the subject was soon changed by Steven as he glanced over at the drill with a small, content smile.

“We actually did it,” he said, looking to the others warmly. “We built a drill, all on our own!”

“Well, we couldn’t have done it without my technological expertise,” Peridot proclaimed somewhat haughtily. She recanted somewhat, however, upon noticing some of the rather critical glances being sent her way. “A-and without Pearl’s surprisingly invaluable assistance.”

“And without Ford’s immense knowledge of advanced machinery,” Pearl added pointedly.

“Or without Fiddleford’s impressive engineering experience,” Ford finished, sending his old partner a knowing smile.

“Aw shucks,” McGucket scratched at his beard humbly. “We all pitched in to get this here dohicky up n’ runnin’. Its something every one of ya’ll should be plumb proud of.”

“You’re darn right I’m proud,” Amethyst smirked, reclining back in her seat. “I helped lift a ton of old junk around to help get that sucker built. Better be worth it.”

“We’ll find out tomorrow,” Garnet remarked, vague as ever.

“W-well, even if it doesn’t work-”

“Which it needs to, otherwise we’re all DOOMED!” Peridot interupted Steven dramatically.

“Thanks for the reminder, Peridot,” Dipper deadpanned lightly. “Its not like that thought hasn’t been looming over our heads for the past several days now.”

“Hmph, well if its not then it certainly should be,” the green Gem retorted, not following his clear sarcasm. “Otherwise, what was the point of any of this?”

“…Even if it doesn’t work, which hopefully, it does,” Steven picked up where he had left off. “It was still a lot of fun to work together to build it. Even if we did run into a few… bumps along the way.”

“Yeah, like when you guys beat the snot out of each other in giant robots to decide who’s in charge,” Amethyst grinned, putting her fists up playfully.

“Or when Dipper had to go ask his girlfriend for help to get that shiny titan’s ore stuff,” Mabel teased, elbowing her brother wryly.

“Mabel, for the last time, Pacifica is not my girlfriend!” Dipper huffed defensively.

“Not yet anyway…” Garnet muttered with a small grin, though no one really heard her.

“Well, regardless of a few setbacks, at least this time, we didn’t have to resort to getting parts for the drill from Crash Site O-” Pearl cut herself off before she could continue, particularly upon seeing the wide eyed glances her teammates, Ford, and McGucket were sending her way. Glances that were more than enough to get her to change her tune entirely. “O-oh nothing! Never mind! Did someone say something about a crash site? Please, there’s nothing like that anywhere near here, I can assure you!”

“Niiiiice, P,” Amethyst scoffed, amused. “Real subtle, just like always.”

“Crash site?” Dipper asked, instantly curious. “What kind of crash site? And what did you mean about getting parts from it?”

“Is it a car crash?” Mabel asked, equally intrigued. “A bus crash? A blimp crash?! Oh, maybe it’s a big boat crash, just like in that movie where the boats hits an ice burg and the dreamy guy dies at the end. Augh! I can never get through that one without crying!”

“Neither can I!” Steven added just as emotionally.

“Ok, so can we get back to this whole crash site thing?” Dipper interjected, still intent to know more. “Please?”

The adults among the group all exchanged something of an apprehensive glance, as if they were all in on a secret they weren’t entirely sure they wanted to divulge. Which, by most accounts, was actually quite close to the truth of the matter. However, when they finally did make the unspoken decision to break the seal on this secret, Ford was ultimately the one to do it, albeit not in the way any of the kids were hoping for.

“The ‘crash site’ Pearl was referring to is… properly known as Crash Site Omega,” the author began, treading the topic carefully. “Or at least, that’s what I personally decided to call it years ago. And as for what it is…. Well… that’s… confidential.”

A unified groan of disappointment arose from all three of the kids, and even Peridot, who had gotten rather invested in the mysterious matter herself. “Oh, come on!” the green Gem whined petulantly. “You can’t just bring up something with a self-important name like ‘Crash Site Omega’ and then not tell any of us what it is! That just isn’t fair!”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m totally with Peridot on this one,” Dipper agreed, crossing his arms. “I thought there weren’t supposed to be anymore secrets between any of us, so why are you guys still keeping this one?”

“That’s simple,” Garnet spoke up calmly. “If you kids actually knew what and where Crash Site Omega really was, then there’s no doubt you’d all try to go there yourselves. And believe me when I say its far too dangerous for any of you to try to go alone.”

“Whoa, so its gotta be something really cool then!” Mabel gasped, fascinated. “All of the super-dangerous places we end up going to usually are!”

“Yeah, its pretty cool,” Amethyst remarked casually.

“Amethyst!” Pearl hissed at the purple Gem through her teeth.

“What? It is.”

“W-well, even if it is cool, I’m afraid you kids don’t need to know anything more about it,” Ford concluded succinctly. “At least not right now.”

Once again, the kids all unanimously deflated at this, clearly dejected by this barring of such potentially interesting information. Even so, Ford and the Gems were firm in their resolve to keep the knowledge of Crash Site Omega and anything pertaining to it to themselves. McGucket, on the other hand, clearly had quite a bit more sympathy towards the kids’ shared sense of disappointment, even if he did understand just as much as the others did that withholding the truth was for their own wellbeing and safety. Which was why he was the first to make a concentrated effort in trying to make up for it somehow.

“Well, gee…” the inventor frowned knowingly. “I sure do hate to see you kids wearin’ such sour faces. Y’know, maybe we can’t tell ya’ll much about Crash Site Omega itself… but I don’t see why we can’t tell ya about the rip-roarin’ adventure all of us had the first time Stanford and the others all dragged me out there.”

“Oh! Yes, I… suppose there’s no harm in telling you kids about that,” Pearl said thoughtfully. “Just as long as we don’t divulge… too many details.”

“Yeah, sure I mean, it’s a pretty fun story anyway,” Amethyst shrugged. “Ya know, outside of the several times where we almost died!”

“Oh, come now!” Ford exclaimed, disgruntled. “We didn’t inch close to death that many times on that expedition. Especially when compared to some of our… other endeavors back then.”

“Hey, hey!” Mabel interupted, raising her hand enthusiastically. “We wanna know about how you guys almost died! Right, guys?”

“Yeah!” Steven chimed in excitedly. “Well, ok, maybe less about the whole dying part and more about your adventure. It sounds like it was a lot of fun!”

“Yeah, sure I guess that works,” Dipper added somewhat halfheartedly before muttering the rest of his statement. “Though telling us what Crash Site Omega really is would be way better…”

“Well, for now, this will just have to suffice,” the author said, taking in a deep, leveling breath before beginning the harrowing tale. “It was over thirty years ago. The Gems and I were just starting to conceptualize our plans for the portal, and Fiddleford had only arrived just a few days prior to lend us a helping hand on the project…”

***

1981

Ford could scarcely remember a time in his life when he had been more excited about the future than he was now. His research of Gravity Falls and its countless unique anomalies had already proven to be a massive success and then some, thanks to the invaluable help provided by the Crystal Gems over the past few years. But the bold endeavor he was setting out to undertake now was bound to completely blow all of that entirely out of the water. With this machine, he was certain that they’d be able to uncover untold secrets about both the known and unknown universe, opening the door to scientific marvels unlike any ever seen before. But before such a grand dimensional leap could be taken, said machine had to be built first.

That was where the help of his friends came in. Already, Rose and the other Gems had readily agreed to help on the project in any way they could, help that Ford knew he’d never be able to thank them enough for. But what was even more exciting was the fact that his treasured old colleague Fiddleford had heeded his call to join the cause as well, journeying all the way from California to Oregon. From the moment the inventor arrived a few short days ago, the author had already been enjoying his friend’s welcome company and amusing quirks immensely, from his knack for solving Cubic’s Cubes in record time, to surprising skill on the banjo. Even if Fiddleford carried a few habits that Ford wasn’t particularly fond of, such as chewing tobacco and his overly-superstitious nature, he couldn’t deny that the brilliant calculations the inventor was contributing to the portal project had already made it more than worth the author’s time to ask him to lend his aid.

In fact, it was through one of those very calculations that Fiddleford had managed to pinpoint a critical flaw in Ford’s plans for the machine thus far. Apparently, the purposed portal’s highly advanced technical caliber would require an equally advanced power source to keep it running. A Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive, to be exact.

“Which means we might as well pull the reigns on this project here n’ now,” Fiddleford shook his head mournfully as he slapped his notebook shut. “On account of the fact that humanity is ten thousand years away from even comin’ anywhere close to even tryin’ to invent one!”

Despite how distraught his partner was over this insurmountable setback, Ford merely grinned confidently, as if he wasn’t even bothered by it at all. Which, by and large, he absolutely wasn’t. “Well then, aren’t we incredibly luck that I just so happen to have a handful of friends who know exactly where we can find such a device.”

Needless to say that Fiddleford was beyond baffled by such a bold claim. Even so, Ford wasn’t entirely keen on spoiling such a monumental surprise so easily, which was why he implored the inventor to return early the next morning, and, more importantly, come ready for a grand expedition that would span two days at least, if not more.

Confused as he was by such an odd request, Fiddleford complied, arriving at the author’s home at dawn the next day. The inventor was still rather sleepy as he stepped into the den, camping pack slung over his shoulder as he readily accepting the piping hot cup of coffee Ford offered him. “So are we settin’ out on whatever skullduggerin’ misadventure you have planned for us any time soon, Stanford?” Fiddleford grumbled upon noticing that the author was making no clear steps towards leaving. “Cause if not, then I might as well just mosey on back to bed.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Fiddleford,” Ford assured with a knowing smirk. “We’ll be leaving very shortly. Just as soon as my… mm… friends arrive.”

“The same ‘friends’ you mentioned yesterday, I’m guessin’?” Fiddleford raised an eyebrow.

“The very ones,” the author nodded. “They’ve been gone on a lengthy mission across the globe since before you arrived a few days ago. I… had planned on introducing you all under slightly different circumstances, but this works every bit as well.”

“…Do I even want to know what you originally planned for us meeting?”

“Oh, through a group outing to study Gravity Falls’ invasive barf fairy population, of course.”

“…Charmin’,” Fiddleford deadpanned. “Real charmin’.”

At that moment, an enthusiastic knock on the front door resounded throughout the house, one that Ford didn’t hesitate to hurry to answer. “Ah, perfect timing! They’re here!” The author stopped short just shy of the door to turn to his partner one more time. “Fiddleford, I’d like for you meet none other than… the Crystal Gems!”

With that, he boldly opened the door to reveal a quartet of women that Fiddleford had to do a double take on just to make sure they were really real. Their ethereal, frankly magical appearances were truly something to behold, and yet there they stood, crowded in the doorframe, the largest and pinkest among them also bearing the widest, brightest smile as she greeted the author warmly. “Ford!” she exclaimed, happily sweeping him up into a tight, friendly hug.

“Heh, y-yes, its great to see you again too, Rose!” Ford laughed tightly, clearly caught off guard by the sudden, almost choking embrace. Fortunately, Rose was quick to release it to set the author back down on the ground. “So, how was Greenland?”

“Oh, you know,” Pearl spoke off with an offhanded smirk. “Nowhere near as green as its neighbor right across the sea, Iceland, usually is. But tolerable, all the same.”

“But its waaaaaay better to be back home,” Amethyst said, leaping up onto one of her favorite perches: Ford’s shoulders. “Ya got anything for me this time, science man?”

“Well…” the author rummaged through is camping pack for a moment. “I do have these jelly beans, but they’re for me to take on the-” Without any warning, the purple Gem snatched the bag of snacks out of his hand, tossing it into her mouth and swallowing it whole. “Well, they were for the trip… Ah well, either way, there’s someone here I’d really like you to meet.” Ford stepped aside so that the Gems could finally see the clearly awestruck Fiddleford, who honestly had no idea how to really react to them at all. “Rose, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, this is my former college classmate and close personal friend, Fiddleford McGucket. Fiddleford, this is Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and of course, Rose Quartz. Otherwise known as the Crystal Gems.”

Fiddleford took in a deep breath at this, adjusting his glasses to properly greet these bizarre women. “I-I’m much obliged to meet ya-”

“Oh, wow!” Rose interupted, stars in her eyes as she regarded the inventor. “There’s another Ford!”

“W-what?!” Ford and Fiddleford both exclaimed in confused unison.

“Well, you said so yourself,” the pink Gem pointed out innocently. “You’re Stanford,” she nodded to the author before pointing at the inventor. “And you’re Fiddleford. Which means now there’s two Fords! How exciting!”

“Oh! Can we call this one Fiddle?” Amethyst suggested, tugging on Fiddleford’s jacket sleeve before doing the same to Ford’s lab coat. “And we can call science man Stan!”

“You most certainly cannot!” Ford snapped, his tone surprisingly harsh as he pulled his coat away from the purple Gem. The other Gems and even Fiddleford all looked to him in apt surprise, all of them clearly wondering where such sudden severity had come from, though before the author was pressed to explain it, he was quick to change the subject altogether. “Anyway… Rose, I’m glad you’re here. Fiddleford has brought an important matter concerning our newest pet project to our attention, a matter I’m… more than fairly confident you’ll be able to help out with.”

“Oh really?” Rose asked, naturally curious as she looked to the inventor. “And what’s that?”

“Well, to even get this machine ya’ll wanna build started, you’re gonna need to get yourselves a Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive,” Fiddleford explained with a frown. “But I don’t know where in the world we’re ever gonna-”

“A Temporal Displacement Drive?” Pearl spoke up, crossing her arms with a scoff. “Please, give us an actual challenge here. Why, Stanford, I’m surprised you don’t already have one seeing as how they’re incredibly archaic by today’s standards.”

“Well, perhaps on your mysterious ‘Homeworld’ they are,” Ford retorted with just as teasing of a grin as the one the white Gem was sending him. “But here on Earth, technology like that is a bit… harder to come by.”

“Wha—Homeworld?” Fiddleford grabbed the author by the arm, lowering his voice somewhat. “Stanford, what in the name of Sweet Sally Sue are you on about right now?”

“Oh, did I not tell you?” Ford looked back to his bewildered partner before nodding back to the eager group of Gems before him. “Despite their near human-like appearances, the Crystal Gems aren’t from Earth. In fact, you might even say they’re-”

“ALIENS?!” Fiddleford gasped, shocked by this revelation as he stared at each of the Gems with huge eyes.

“There’s that word again,” Garnet remarked, crossing her arms.

“I wonder what it means…” Rose mused, fascinated.

“Yes,” the author said, still sending the inventor a satisfied, almost goading grin over the fact that he had managed to befriend such a special extraterrestrial group all on his own. “Aliens. But completely friendly aliens, I can assure you.”

“Boy howdy, are they ever!” Fiddleford exclaimed, slapping his knee in newfound excitement as he rushed up to each of the Gems to readily shake their hands. “Ya know, from the time I was a youngin’ I’ve always wondered about you space folks, ever since my cousin Thistlebelt said his Grammy Louise was quote-on-quote ‘taken by them saucer people’. Everyone else in the family said it was a bunch of hogwash, but I never stopped believin’ that life in other worlds outside our own existed, and you ladies are livin’, breathin’ proof of that!”

“Oh, uh, well, thank you,” Rose laughed, amused. “But…”

“We don’t breathe,” Garnet said, stoically and succinctly.

“It’s true,” Ford added, noting Fiddleford’s continued dumbfounded expression. “They don’t. Or at least they don’t need to. Same goes with sleeping and eating. Why, if I was anywhere near as infallible as the Gems here are, then I’d have enough energy to solve every unexplained phenomenon in the universe and then some!”

“And then you’d complain about bein’ bored the second that you did,” Fiddleford remarked with a wry grin. “Just like ya did when you breezed through all of the coursework in your second semester of Applied Quantum Phase Theory in less than a week after the class started.”

“Clearly, a waste of a semester,” Ford scoffed. “Especially when taking Fifth Dimensional Calculus and Hyper-Advanced Engineering would have aided our cause with this portal much more…”

“Speaking of which,” Pearl interjected. “If we really do need that Hyperdrive, then, w-well…” She hesitated, as if anxious to continue. Anxiety that Rose and Garnet at least seemed to both share on some level as they all averted eye contact with one another. “Stanford, you know where to find it by now.”

“Well, yes, I do,” the author nodded. “But seeing as how this is going to be Fiddleford’s first expedition to Crash Site Omega, I figured why not commemorate it by all of us going out there together? As a team?”

“Crash Site Omega?” Fiddleford inquired, curious. Ford provided him a brief whispered answer, one that only served to floor the inventor even more than he already was when he realized exactly what it was.

“No…”

“Yes,” the author grinned, amused.

“S-so it’s really…?”

“Mm hm.”

“A-and they came in…?”

“They did.”

“…Well, I gotta admit to ya, Stanford,” Fiddleford said after a beat of amazed silence. “I didn’t come here this morning thinkin’ that my entire perception on reality would be blown wide open like its just been. S-so thank you for that, I suppose.”

“You’re very welcome!” the author chimed before turning back to the Gems. “So the way I see it, it’ll take us two days to hike both out to the crash site and to get back since the its central warp hub is still down, so we should probably head out now to catch good daylight and-”

“Um… actually, Ford…” Rose spoke up apprehensively. “I’m not so sure if we should keep going out there like we have been. It really is pretty dangerous, especially for humans, and if we keep bothering it, it’ll probably only get worse. So… I think we should just…” The pink Gem trailed off upon catching sight of the disappointed, rather pleading glances both Ford and Fiddleford were sending her way, both of them clearly eager to see this intriguing crash site and claim the powerful Hyperdrive contained within. Glances that, against all odds, were able to make Rose change her tune much more easily than expected. “Ohhhh… ok…” she huffed relentingly. “You two win. We’ll go get that Hyperdrive.”

“Excellent!” Ford proclaimed as Fiddleford let out a large sigh of relief. “Then let’s not waste another minute! Our expedition begins… now!”

“Woo! Expedition! Expedition!” Amethyst cheered as her and Garnet followed the author and the inventor out the door. “Hey, Garnet, what’s a expedition?”

“Rose, are you sure this is such a good idea…?” Pearl asked, stopping the pink Gem briefly before they could head out as well. “After all, the crash site is… w-well… you know…”

“I do…” Rose frowned, placing a gentle hand on the white Gem’s shoulder before breaking out into a small smile. “But what can I say? You know I can never say no to humans, Pearl, they’re so adorable!”

“That’s what you keep saying…” Pearl muttered with an exasperated sigh as she trailed after her liege, their ‘expedition’ to the mystery that was Crash Site Omega at last underway.

***

The fresh Oregon morning air was more than enough to completely invigorate the small motley crew of scientists and Gems as they set out on their quest. Since neither Ford or Fiddleford had a vehicle of their own, their trek would largely be on foot, something that only the inventor seemed to mind as they began their hike along the granite pass. While Ford was able to keep up with the tireless Gems just fine thanks to his rigorous daily physical regiment, Fiddleford was much less active in most things save for his mind and his mechanical work. As easily worn and winded as he was, the inventor wasn’t afraid to let his exhaustion show, especially as he purposed the idea of building robotic legs to let them do the work of walking for him.

Fortunately for Fiddleford, however, their trek only lasted a few hours before they found themselves on the other side of town at Lake Gravity Falls. Seeing as the serene shore was as good a place as any to take a break, that’s exactly what the group did (after documenting a bizarre Plaidypus they happened across along the way, as well investigating as the mystery of a possible beast laying in wait under the lake’s sole island). Even so, the inventor greatly appreciated the much-needed breather as he took the time to enjoy the lunch he had packed, at least until Amethyst snuck over and began rifling through it, an attempt that Pearl tried her best to thwart as Garnet watched on, amused as ever by her teammate’s antics.

With Fiddleford and the Gems as distracted as they were, Ford took the opportunity to slip away to jot down a few offhand notes and observations in his latest journal. He was just finishing off their speculator findings on the possibly quite dangerous island head beast lurking just below the unsuspecting waters when he began casually sketching out the peaceful shoreline itself, writing down a short description to go with it.

“Despite this bone-chilling creature, I couldn’t help but enjoy the scenery. There is no other place in Gravity Falls I would rather be than the lake. It reminds me of my childhood and Glass Shard Beach…”

Of Glass Shard Beach and sticky, sandy days spent there. Of briny seas and smoggy, sunny skies. Of just the two of them, exploring the tiny world they’d always known but planning for so much more beyond it. Of working on the ambitious pet project together that would someday finally get them there: the Stan O’ War.

Ford sighed almost wistfully, glancing over across the lake again before he began sketching out a simple sailboat on the bottom half of the page. Absently, he annotated it with an amusing youthful anecdote, one that he made sure to inscribe in code, just in case. He had just about finished it too, when a sudden shadow cast over him, catching the other quite off guard out of his deep thoughts.

“What are you working on over here?” Rose asked with a warm smile as she stood over the author, curiously glancing down at the journal in his hand. While Ford normally would have been eager to share his research with the pink Gem, instead he hastily scribbled over the boat he had drawn, closing the book and with it, his reminiscing thoughts.

“O-oh, nothing,” the author hastily said. “Just… foolishly losing myself in the past, I suppose.”

“Hm…” Rose mused as she took a seat on the coarse sand alongside him. “I wouldn’t call that ‘foolish’. After all, I sometimes do that too.”

“Hopefully not too often,” Ford joked with a brief hint of levity. “If what you told me is true, then you have quite a lengthy past to get lost in.”

The pair shared a short laugh at this, though as it faded as the author’s tone turned thoughtful. “…You know, I’ve never asked you… what is it like, to have lived for so long? Existing for hundreds of thousands of years like you and the other Gems have is far beyond any sort of known human comprehension so, I can’t help but be a little curious about it.”

Rose was silent for a moment, keeping her sights set on the sparkling lake ahead of them before replying flippantly. “To be honest? Its… boring. When a Gem is made, they’re supposed to be only one thig, have only one purpose for their entire existence. Thousands of years spending day in and day out in the exact same way without anything ever even changing. But you? Humans? You get to have an entirely different experience every single day! Your life isn’t set in stone like a Gem’s is, its constantly in motion! Its so much more exciting! And… ever since I first came here to Earth, that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do to: to have a unique, special kind of experience each and every day. And so far, I’d say I’ve been doing a pretty good job of it thanks to people like you, Ford.”

“Hmph,” the author glanced away, aptly bashful. “I’d pin your success less on me and more on Gravity Falls. As surrounded by such fantastic anomalies as we are, there’s no way you could have a dull, uninteresting day here, even if you tried.”

“Exactly,” Rose chuckled. “Why else do you think we’ve stayed here so long?”

“Speaking of which…” Ford began a bit leadingly as he looked back down at the journal in his lap. “Where exactly were you and the other Gems… before you came to Gravity Falls?”

“Oh, I thought I already told you,�� the pink Gem said. “We mostly wandered around all over the Earth, exploring different, beautiful places, meeting all sorts of amazing people-”

“Yes, yes, you did tell me about all that before,” Ford interupted, unable to push his curiosity aside. “I’m talking about before that. Before you came to Earth.”

“O-oh…” Rose faltered, her pink locks casting shadows over her eyes as her voice grew soft and almost unsteady. “W-well… before that… I was—we lived on Homeworld…”

“Ah yes, Homeworld,” Ford nodded, eager to know more about this distant planet the other Gems spoke so very little about. “And what was it like there? Quite different from the Earth, I imagine, I mean it is an entirely different planet.”

“Yes, i-it’s… very different, to say the least…” Rose muttered, almost whispered. For several long, lingering moments, she said nothing else on the matter, and for a good while it seemed like she had no intentions of doing so at all. Ford was just about ready to prompt her with more questions on the mysterious planet, but right before they could, a certain purple Gem suddenly jumped right into the space between the two of them.

“Hey, look at me! I’m Fiddle Man!” Amethyst exclaimed, showing off the inventor’s glasses that she had perched on the elongated nose she had shapeshifted to mimic his. “Howdy, howdy, howdy!”

“Hey!” The purple Gem took off the moment she noticed Fiddleford blindly chasing after her. “Give ‘em back, ya little-”

The inventor didn’t have a chance to finish his threat before he inevitably followed Amethyst into the lake, tripping and falling face-first into the shallows as the purple Gem surfaced alongside him, laughing madly all the while. “Amethyst! Give that human his vision aids back immediately!” Pearl scolded with a frustrated huff as she stormed over.

“They’re called glasses, Pearl,” Garnet remarked, coolly adjusting her own.

“Well, it looks like everyone’s starting to get restless,” Rose laughed, more than glad to change the subject. “We should probably get going. We still have a lot of ground to cover, after all.”

Ford frowned, even as Rose stood and offered a hand to help him up. Even so, despite the lack of any substantial answers to his insatiable curiosity, he complied, accepting her help as he offered his aid in gathered the others so they could continue on their way once more. And yet, the author couldn’t help but glance out at the lake one last time before they left it behind, hoping that he’d still get those answers, answers he knew the pink Gem was still hiding from him, sooner or later.

***

The rest of the afternoon took the group out of the midsummer heat and into a much cooler setting instead: a set of hidden tunnels secreted away behind the town’s famous waterfall. The ancient caves were a find that the Gems had first introduced Ford to a few years back, the drawings etched on the walls dating their formation back to early human history (which the Gems themselves were present for). Along the way, they happened across a rather large group of minute corrupted Gem monsters, which the author had decided to dub ‘geodites’; the tiny creatures were more than numerous and luminous enough to light their way through the rest of the tunnels. And by the time they finally emerged at the top of the falls, the sun was just starting to set, giving way to a crisp, warm, lovely evening. Which was why, with the vast view of Gravity Falls stretching out below them, the easy decision was made to set up camp for the night right then and there.

While the Gems didn’t really need to rest like Ford and Fiddleford did, they were still more than happy to help them set up their clifftop campsite. With a roaring fire built, the group gathered around it to relax and chat, all while gazing up at the countless arrays of stars and the constellations hidden therein dotting the dark, lovely night sky above them.

“Golly, what a night…” Fiddleford remarked between spoonfuls of beans out of the can he had just heated up over the fire. “We don’t get stars like these in Palo Alto, that’s for sure.”

“Palo Alto?” Rose asked, curious. “Where’s that?”

“A few states down south in California,” Fiddleford informed. “They’ve just started callin’ that part of it the ‘Silicon Valley’, as a matter o’ fact.”

“Why?” Pearl asked. “Is there a higher than usual concentration of silicon there?”

“Well, no, it’s on account of-”

“Its because it has a higher than usual concentration of ‘upstart inventors’,” Ford interupted with a knowing smirk. “Much like Fiddleford himself here.”

“Oh, ha ha, very funny, Stanford,” Fiddleford retorted dryly. “But Palo Alto also has a lot more to it than a bunch of borin’ ol’ eggheads. It’s also where my darlin’ wife and my lil’ Tater Tot are.”

“Ooo, tater tots!” Amethyst quipped obliviously. “I just learned what those things are the other day when I snuck into the diner. They’re so good and cold and crunchy!”

“You’re supposed to eat them hot, Amethyst, not frozen,” Ford pointed out with a concerned frown.

“Whaaaat?! Oh man, that sounds even better! I’ve gotta try that! I’m totally gonna break into that diner again when we get back.”

“I’m not talkin’ about tater tots Tater Tots,” Fiddleford shook his head with a small chuckle. “I’m talkin’ about my son, Tate.” Upon noticing the somewhat blank looks all of the Gems were sending him, the inventor elaborated. “Ya know, my family? Any of you ladies got any family yourselves?”

“No,” Rose answered almost immediately, her tone surprisingly sharp.

“Gems don’t really do ‘family’,” Garnet added quite stoically.

“O-oh…” Fiddleford glanced away rather awkwardly. “Well, all the same, I can’t wait to get back to mine! Why, once we’re done with this here project of ours, I have plans to skedaddle back home to ‘em and finally start patenting all of the robotics projects I have in the works.”

“Robotics?” Ford asked incredulously. “What practical use could that have in a common market?”

“Outside of militaristic weapons grade training?” Pearl added, though she was met with several bewildered glances at this. “What?”

“Aw, I got plenty of ideas in mind!” Fiddleford exclaimed zealously. “Ideas that are bound to make people’s lives better all ‘round the globe! Plus… it’ll be a decent bonus to finally be makin’ enough to afford a nice place with a screen door that ain’t broken like the one we had at the ol’ McGucket family homestead back in Tennessee.”

“Your ideas sound lovely, Fiddleford,” Rose smiled, enthused by such altruistic plans. “Ford, what are you going to do once our machine is done?”

“I think you mean once my Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness is proven indisputably,” Ford corrected with a knowing grin. “After its all said and done, I’m considering returning back home to the east to publish my findings about Gravity Falls and the source of its strangeness to the world.”

“Wait… you’re… going to leave?” the pink Gem asked, her smile fading altogether at this.

“F-for a time, yes,” the author glanced away, suddenly flustered. “But I’m sure I’ll be back around these parts sooner or later. Especially since I’ll have presidents and prizewinners alike practically begging me to explain all of the oddities we’ve uncovered to them. Just think of it! Me, rubbing elbows with the most elite of the elite! Debating politics with Reagan, discussing turtleneck fashion with Carl Sagan! And better yet, seeing the looks on the faces of everyone who ever doubted me!”

“Gosh, Stanford, those sure are some big dreams,” Fiddleford remarked with a smirk. “I’d expect nothin’ less from you, but… there’s still one thing I don’t understand.”

“And what’s that?”

“Well, from what I’ve seen of them journals of yours, it already looks like you’ve discovered more than enough amazin’ things to make you famous and then some,” the inventor explained, briefly nodding over at the Gems. “These ladies right here are a testament to that if nothin’ else, I mean, shucks, they’re literal space aliens.”

“Would you both stop calling us that?” Pearl huffed, annoyed.

“I guess what I’m tryin’ to figure out is… is this ‘grand theory’ of yours even really necessary?” Fiddleford continued, frowning. “Why not just publish your findings now, profit off that, settle down right here in Gravity Falls, and start a family of your own…?” At this, the inventor inclined his head rather leadingly at Rose, something that the pink Gem didn’t really notice, though the author understood the implication loud and clear.

Which was why he was completely powerless to let out a loud, blunt laugh at the very thought. “Oh, Fiddleford, don’t be silly!” Ford chuckled, shaking his head. “I’ll be the first to admit that romance is far more baffling to me than the greatest mysteries of the universe!” The author waited a beat until Rose was distracted by a small, side conversation with the other Gems to lower his voice to a whisper to the inventor. “Besides, you heard it yourself; Gems don’t ‘do’ family.”

“Hmph, and apparently, neither do you,” Fiddleford remarked, dissatisfied as he crossed his arms.

“So, Ford,” Rose interjected with a small, amused laugh. “Garnet wants to know… how exactly is romance ‘baffling’?”

“Because it sure isn’t to me,” Garnet said, adjusting her shades mysteriously.

“W-well, it just always seemed so… frivolous to me,” Ford shrugged, clearly embarrassed over having to explain himself on such a personal matter. “I mean, who even has time for such flights of fancy in the first place when there’s far more important matters to attend to?”

“Oh? Like what?” Pearl asked with a bit of a teasing grin. “Playing that probability-heavy dungeons game you showed me the other day?”

“N-no!” Ford exclaimed defensively. “W-well, at least not entirely. What I’m talking about is perusing something much grander than any mere momentary love affair: the answers to the most baffling mysteries human history has ever known! And I’m going to be the one to find those answers once and for all. Why should I settle for simplicity when I can just as easily sail to the stars!?”

“There’s nothing wrong with simplicity, Ford,” Rose grinned gently. “In fact, its one of the things I love most about the Earth. Everything here works so well with everything else. It all just… fits together to create a planet that just feels… so complete and so perfect in so many different ways, I can’t even begin to list them all!”

“But it can hardly compare to all of the other incredible sights you’ve must have seen among the endless cosmos, right?” Ford pressed, curious as ever. “After all, the Earth, perhaps barring Gravity Falls as the sole exception, is so… mundane when pitted against the vast depths of space, places humans have never even dreamed of seeing before, including your very own Homeworld! You’ve been here on Earth for thousands of years now… don’t you ever miss what lies beyond it?”

Rose paused for a moment, seeming to mull over this as she gazed up at the distant, twinkling stars far above them. But when she finally did give her answer, it was with a solid, confident smile as she returned her gaze back down to the sprawling view of the town far below them. “Why would I ever miss Homeworld when I’m already home?”

Despite his best efforts, this was a question Ford couldn’t find an answer to. It was at that moment that the author began to realize, perhaps for the very first time, just how different the pink Gem’s worldview was from his own. It was undeniable that Rose was quite content with her peaceful lot on planet Earth, far removed from the mysterious, exciting grandeur of the cosmos and her former interstellar home. It was a sentiment the other Crystal Gems seemed to carry, but it was one that Ford couldn’t quite understand. For much of his life, the author had felt limited in some way; limited by the scope of his small hometown, limited by the low standards of his family around him, limited even by his own scientific knowledge (at least until his muse fortunately came around to help in that regard). In fact, he had grown so used to being limited that it was no wonder that breaking those limits wide open had long since been a high-ranking goal of his. He didn’t want to just be content to be, he wanted so much more than that. He wanted success, he wanted recognition, he wanted greatness. He would settle for nothing less.  

And while Ford knew the road to reaching such lofty ambitions wouldn’t be an easy one, he still preferred the road less traveled anyway, he always had. And, as he sat around the campfire, laughing and conversing with some of the people (or more accurately Gems) he trusted most, he couldn’t help but feel immensely grateful that he wouldn’t have to travel that road alone.

***

The next morning saw the group meeting with a mystery right off the bat. While getting in an early morning shave, Fiddleford had spotted the briefest flash of something in the woods behind him in his tiny mirror. Superstitious and skittish as he was, the inventor didn’t hesitate to alert Ford and the Gems about the possible intruder, which had vanished just as quickly as it had appeared. A careful search of the entire area turned up empty, but no one could deny they all felt the presence of some unknown creature or being lurking about, its mysterious nature matching closely to a longstanding local lumberjack legend known as the Hide-Behind. The creature had been a point of curiosity for both Ford and the Gems for quite some time, largely since it had reportedly never been clearly seen by anyone before. The most anyone was able to find of it was they quickly packed up their camp were its strange footprints in the dirt, accompanied by its bizarre howl echoing through the trees as the trees. Needless to say it was enough to set the entire group on edge, even the usually intrepid Gems, who were all on the verge of summoning their weapons for self-defense, just in case the Hide-Behind suddenly decided to come out of hiding after all…

Fortunately though, they weren’t beset by any such danger as they finally made their way out of the woods and into more open expanses. Rose took point of the group from here, her manner oddly tense as she began leading the last leg of the journey to the crash site. Contrasting to the pink Gem, however, Ford and Fiddleford were both growing gradually more excited the closer they got to their destination. The pair engaged in enthused speculation about the vessel they were heading to all the way there, a conversation that the Gems largely refused to join in, even despite the many questions posed their way. In fact, they only seemed to grow even more dodgy as they finally reached the deep, oddly-shaped valley where their prize awaited: Crash Site Omega itself.

“We’re here,” Rose reported quietly, coming to a stop at the center of the wide grassy area.

“Wait… this is it?” Fiddleford asked, confused.

“Indeed it is,” Ford chimed in with a daring grin as he approached the field’s only notable feature, a large, inconspicuous rock. “It looks like it hasn’t been touched since the last time we were here two years ago! How lucky!”

“Very lucky,” Garnet remarked stiffly, adjusting her shades.

“Now, let’s just move this aside, and…” the author trailed off as he pushed the rock, revealing a metallic panel beneath it. Removing it was just as easy, uncovering a square opening in the ground with a long ladder leading down into the darkness far below. “There we go. This should lead us down right through… what was it again?”

“The indefinite exhaust port,” Pearl remarked, crossing her arms and scowling.

“U-unbelievable…” Fiddleford said, his eyes wide as he stared down into the mysterious tunnel. “And here I thought ya’ll were yankin’ my chain with this crash site nonsense, but… b-but here it is! Plain as day!”

“Ugh, do we really gotta go down there again?” Amethyst asked with a huff. “Its so dark and smelly and boring…”

“Don’t worry, Amethyst, we won’t be down there very long,” Rose assured the youngest Gem with a small smile. “Will we?” she asked Ford in particular.

“We’re only here for the hyperdrive this time, so I would say this shouldn’t take too terribly long,” Ford mused.

“Good,” Pearl said somewhat sharply. “The sooner we leave this place behind, the better.”

With their shared intention to get in and get out as quickly as possible, the Gems entered the passageway first. Ford and Fiddleford followed after, both of them somewhat baffled as to why their companions seemed so wary of the crash site as a whole. Even so, they eagerly followed down into the depths, scaling down into the wreckage left behind from a vessel forgotten by time.

The structure’s practically ancient chrome interior, as untouched by the elements as it was, was largely pristine, if not heavily dusted and cobwebbed. The buried vessel was essentially a maze of various vast, twisting corridors, revealing nothing to what its exterior might have once looked like. Most of its electronic components were long-since defunct and its echoing halls were just as abandoned and dark, illuminated only by the glow from Pearl and Rose’s respective gemstones lighting the way. Ford and Fiddleford also had flashlights on hand, however, to further aid them in getting a better glimpse at their amazing surroundings; surroundings that, as far as they knew, next to no other humans had ever seen before.

“Golly, just look at this place!” Fiddleford exclaimed, his voice echoing off of the hallowed-out halls. “It’s like somethin’ straight outta Cosmic Conflicts! Just imagine what it must’ve looked like back in its hayday!”

“We don’t need to imagine,” Ford said, confident as he glanced over at the Gems. “Fortunately in this instance, we can get knowledge on the subject straight from the source.”

“O-oh, well, its not like any of us got here on something exactly like this…” Rose remarked with something of an uncomfortable laugh. “After all, Amethyst was made here on Earth, and-”

“Well, still, certainly it must be close to what a few of you might be familiar with,” the author implored. “It did come from Homeworld, after all, much like yourself, right, Rose?”

“Ah, um, w-well, yes, I suppose, but-”

“So how long does it typically take for a vessel like this to be built there?” Ford inquired, innocently curious. What the author failed to see were the other Gems almost rushing on ahead, only Rose hanging behind and growing more and more anxious with each question he posed to her. “How many lightyears do you estimate it could travel in a day?”

“F-Ford…” the pink Gem attempted to interject, but nothing could really stop the author’s eager inquiries at this point.

“Does it have any sort of external weapons systems? Maybe a layered holographic force-field?”

“Ford-” Rose tried again and by now even Fiddleford was sending his partner a worried warning glance. But even still Ford continued.

“What would it take to bring a rig like this down in the first place? What was its original function meant to be?”

“Stanford, please-”

A warship? Scouting vessel? Why did it even come here to Earth in the first pla-”

“Stanford! That’s enough!”

Rose’s harsh shout seemed to echo through the entire vessel, stopping the entire group dead in their tracks. Ford turned to the pink Gem, aptly started by her heavy command only to find her usually gentle expression set in a sharp, severe glare. A glare that was aimed directly at him.

“R-Rose?” he asked quite hesitantly, unsure of how to react.

“I said that’s enough,” Rose repeated just as sternly. “No more questions, let’s just get what we came here for, and go.”

And with that, the pink Gem pressed on ahead, the other Gems and even Fiddleford meekly following behind her. For all of the kindness Rose was known to show, her rare moments of rigidness were more than enough to intimidate just about anyone. Anyone save for Ford, that is.

“Why are you always like this?” Ford asked, a hint of fledgling frustration in his tone. “Every time I so much as bring up the topic of Homeworld to you, you never want to discuss it? Why? You’re always more than happy to share everything you know about every other Gem-related matter, so why not something as fundamentally simple as your own home?!”

“Because!” Rose snapped fiercely, far more angrier than the author had ever seen her before. “That’s NOT our home! Not anymore…” She sighed, her fury turning to what almost seemed like remorseful resignation as she turned away once more. “And it never will be again…”

“But why not?” Ford pressed, refusing to simply let the matter go. “Why won’t you just tell me something about it?!”

“…Fine,” Rose said, her back still turned and her tone still tense. “I’ll tell you the only thing you need to know about it: we left it behind, in every way. And we want to keep it that way, which is why you should do the same, Stanford.”

This time, the pink Gem was intent on making it quite clear that she wouldn’t discuss the matter any further as she simply walked away. Once again, Ford was prepared to keep the argument going, though what ultimately ended up stopping him turned out to be none other than Fiddleford. The inventor silently barred him with an outstretched arm, shaking his head in disapproval over just how far the author had been willing to push his curiosity. Far enough to the point that it had, in turn, pushed the pink Gem away.

Even so, that wasn’t something Ford was all too willing to admit. After all, the most he saw himself as guilty of was perhaps asking one too many sensitive questions. But as far as he was concerned, it was Rose’s fault for deeming those questions as too sensitive to answer in the first place. Certainly, the author rationalized, the pink Gem was being unfairly secretive when it came to the truth behind her former home. She had already shared so much about her kind with him in the past; so what could possibly be the reason behind her keeping this information to herself? It was a question Ford knew he needed the answer to, but it was an answer he wasn’t sure he was going to get, especially not now. Especially with Rose choosing to maintain her stubborn silence on all things Homeworld-related, the other Gems intent on doing the very same.

“Here it is…” Pearl announced diffidently as they all stepped into a large, heavily-wired chamber. “One Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive, as promised.”

“Hm…” Fiddleford stepped forward, carefully inspecting the surprisingly small device. The hyperdrive was hooked up to the ship’s now-defunct engine by a series of sturdy chords, the screen on its side still somehow functional based on the illuminated visage of four multi-colored diamonds. Silence still permeated the rest of the rest of the group as the inventor looked over it before finally breaking into a small, satisfied smile. “Yep, I’d reckon this oughta do the trick. All I gotta do is tweak around with a few of these here wires and…” He trailed off, carefully snipping through the chords with the clippers he had wisely brought along. Then, after loosening just a few bolts and screws, the inventor was able to not just release the drive, but also extract it, snuggly slipping it away into his backpack for safekeeping on the way back.

“We got what we came here for,” Rose concluded, her tone and matter both starkly hallow. “Let’s go home.”

None of the others, surprisingly not even Ford, argued with the pink Gem on this. Still, Fiddleford at the very least could tell that the author wanted to, his insistence to know what Rose refused to tell him was plain enough to see in his plaintiff expression alone. And yet, for whatever reason, Ford held his peace on the matter, instead silently following behind the Gems with his head down and his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. Fiddleford always had a knack for spotting a pot that was about to boil over, and if there was any way to describe the tension currently standing between the author and the pink Gem in particular, it was that. Which meant that he could only hope that when it inevitably did, none of them would end up getting burned in its wake.

***

While both Fiddleford and the other Gems all shared the unspoken hope that the mood would finally lighten when they emerged from the crash site, much to their dismay it did anything but. In fact, if anything, Rose and Ford seemed to distance themselves even further, refusing to so much as even spare a glance at each other, lest their disagreement spike up once more. While the author’s manner was hard and bitter, the pink Gem’s expression seemed sad and pensive, though as different as their emotions were, they were equally matched in terms of disappointment.

This anxious stalemate seemed as though it was going to continue for the entire journey back from the crash site, a thought that was all but unbearable to the others. While this quest had started out on such a high, bright note, it seemed so unfortunate that, even despite their relative success in getting the hyperdrive, it was going to end on such a low, dour one. Which was why, even if the Gems didn’t share his own intention, Fiddleford decided to venture an attempt to at least get the author and the pink Gem on speaking terms again. A plan that he would have very well carried out had Ford not happened upon a discovery that would change the course of their entire trip altogether.

“Everyone, stay right where you are,” the author suddenly warned, stopping dead in his tracks. Curious, the others complied, turning towards him to see what the matter might have been. “No one make a single sound…” he whispered, his posture suddenly tense and his eyes wide as he stared through the thicket of trees straight ahead of them. While Garnet and Pearl exchanged a confused, yet quite glance at this, Amethyst, however, was easily the first to disregard that command entirely.

“What? What is it?” she asked bluntly, loudly. “Are we playin’ some kinda quiet game? Cause I thought we already have been doing that for hours now and-”

“Shhh!” Ford quickly reprimanded her, suddenly frantic. “I said quiet! The last thing we want to do is wake it up!”

“Wake what up, Stanford?” Fiddleford asked, his voice soft, yet aptly baffled.

By now, Rose had happened to catch a glimpse of what Ford had already seen, a small gasp escaping her as she pointed to the clearing straight ahead. “That.”

Fast asleep in the light of the sun pouring down upon it through the canopy of trees above was a creature, a monster that was nearly beyond all description. The beast was massive to say the least, easily larger than any of the Gems, even Rose herself. It was a burly, muscular, grotesque behemoth, its constant snores more akin to hulking growls as it rested tentatively, though it was clear that it could be ready to attack with its piercing claws and protruding fangs at a moment’s notice. An outcome that none of them wanted to see, especially considering exactly what this creature really was.

“A Gremloblin…” Ford was unable to keep himself from breaking into a bewildered grin at the sight of such an exciting discovery. “One of the rarest creatures in all of Gravity Falls! I’ve only ever read about them in old local lumberjack legends, I never thought I’d actually get to see one myself!”

“W-well, ya saw it, so we should probably get a goin’ before that thing stirs,” Fiddleford urged anxiously, refusing to take his eyes off the snoozing monster, lest it pounce when he wasn’t looking.

“Yes, yes, of course,” Ford agreed as he pulled his journal out of his coat. “After I jot down just a few cursory notes on it, maybe get a quick sketch…”

“Ford, I don’t think that’s a very good idea…” Rose noted with a concerned frown.

“Yes, those creatures are notoriously dangerous,” Pearl agreed. “We’ve fortunately never had to fight one before and we certainly wouldn’t want to have a reason to now.”

“And you won’t,” Ford assured, still creeping on ahead, pen already in hand. “I’ve heard Gremloblins are incredibly heavy sleepers, especially during their hibernation season, which just so happens to be during the summer months.”

“But Stanford-” Fiddleford pleaded tightly, nervously.

“Besides, I simply can’t pass up the opportunity to document such a unique find,” Ford continued, hardly listening to the others’ warnings. “I’ll make this quick, I promise.”

“Ford…” Rose admonished once more, though the author hardly listened as he continued inching forward. He had all but lost himself to sketching the monstrous Gremloblin out, engrossed in his research far more than his own safety, or the safety of his companions.

“M-Miss Quartz, can’t ya get him to give it a rest?” Fiddleford asked Rose as he cowered up against a nearby tree for cover. “If he wakes that critter up, he’ll get us all killed, for sure!”

“I don’t know about all that, but I do agree that this is far too dangerous,” the pink Gem stepped forward, ready to call upon her sword and shield, just in case, as she made another appeal to the author. “Ford, we should just leave that creature alone and move on before something bad happens.”

“Which will happen,” Garnet predicted firmly. “Trust me.”

“Then we’ll make sure to leave before it does,” Ford only barely glanced back over his shoulder.

“But that’s just it, you don’t know when it will happen!” Rose huffed, annoyed by the author’s insistent stubbornness. “We shouldn’t risk it, we need to leave, now.”

“Well you’re more than free to go on ahead. I’ll catch up with you when I’m done.”

While the pink Gem’s patience was usually seemingly boundless, it was more than clearly being tested here and now. “Stanford, why won’t you just listen to me?” she asked incredulously. “I’m trying to help you; I just want to keep you safe!”

“Oh how?” Ford asked just as bitingly as he turned to face her. “By denying me access to simple knowledge that would be invaluable to my research? Knowledge that I have a right to know, that I deserve to know!? Is that your idea of trying to ‘keep me safe’? Because if it is, then you should know that I never asked you to. In fact, I think you’ll find that I can handle much more than you give me credit for.”

“Ford…” Rose sighed, disgruntled and despondent. “You still don’t understand! And that’s exactly why you need to stop. A-and why… why I can’t tell you about…”

“About Homeworld?”

Rose flinched at this, unsure of what to even say. All the same, the author stared her down, silently demanding the truth this time, and refusing to settle for anything less. “S-Stanford… I-”

Before the pink Gem could even get another word out, the unthinkable happened. A sudden, ear-piercing alarm blared through the air, readily echoing throughout the trees with a seemingly unending shriek.

“Augh! What is that?!” Amethyst yelled over the deafening din.

“I think it’s the hyperdrive!” Pearl called, nodding over to Fiddleford’s backpack, where the device was still stowed. “The change in altitude while going down the mountain must have activated it!”

“H-how do we get it to stop?!” Fiddleford cried, ripping the bag off his back to peer in at the blaring, flashing device.

“We need to-” Garnet cut herself off with a gasp, her future vision catching an extremely important warning just in time. “Look out!” she shouted to Ford in particular. The author instantly spun around, clutching the journal close to his chest to see a massive clawed hand rushing right for him. The most Ford could really do was brace himself for a painful impact, though fortunately it never came as a certain pink Gem and her sturdy shimmering shield intercepted the devastating blow instead.

“T-the Gremloblin!” Ford exclaimed, stunned as he glanced past Rose, who still stood defensively between him and the now-rampaging creature. “It’s awake!”

“We need to get out of here!” the pink Gem urged, pressing hard against her shield try and ward the incredibly strong monster off.

“Can we turn that stupid wiperdrive off first?!” Amethyst asked with an irritated groan.

“We’re tryin to!” Fiddleford exclaimed as both him and Pearl desperately tampered with the screeching device to quiet it down. “D-darn thing won’t-”

Suddenly, the Gremloblin’s attention shifted away from Ford and Rose and to an entirely different direction instead: towards the inventor, or rather, the loudly whining device in his hands. Before any of the others could even react, the monster lashed out, swerving around the pair in front of it and reaching out to grab Fiddleford in its enormous, deadly claws in one single swipe. The hyperdrive fell out of his grasp and into Pearl’s, though the white Gem was quick to leap back, summoning her weapon alongside her teammates to face this fell beast.

“Fiddleford!” Ford exclaimed in apt alarm over the peril his friend was in. Peril that only seemed to grow as the Gremloblin’s grip on the terrified inventor tightened, its large golden eyes baring straight into his. Despite his initial thrashing and struggling, Fiddleford more or less went completely limp as his eyes took on the same blank pallor as the monster’s, a sign that he was helplessly lost to whatever sort of trance it had somehow put him under.

“Ford, hurry and take cover somewhere!” Rose ordered, brandishing her blade in preparation for the inevitable fight ahead. “We’ll take care of-”

The pink Gem cut herself off with a startled gasp as Ford suddenly rushed past her, armed only with his full canteen of water and the intent to do whatever he could to rescue Fiddleford from the Gremloblin’s clutches. “Wait!” Garnet warned, her future vision already showing the outcome of the author’s brazenness to her. “Don’t throw water at it! It’ll only-”

The fusion’s warning was largely unheard as Ford chucked his canteen forward with as much force as he could possibly muster. It struck the Gremloblin squarely on the head, completely dousing it all over. It was enough to monetarily startle the creature, but that surprise was immediately short-lived as it unleashed a massive, outraged roar of retaliation. As if in response to the water itself, the Gremloblin seemed to double, if not triple in size before their very eyes, growing spikes and tusks and even strong and sturdy wings. The unexpected transformation left the spectating group completely baffled, especially the author as he realized that his hastiness was essentially the direct cause of it.

“It’ll only get much harder to deal with,” Garnet finally finished bluntly.

“Now you tell me…” Ford huffed, disgruntled.

“Gems, let’s go!” Rose commanded swiftly, finally rallying her teammates into action against the monster. The Gremloblin kept its tight grip on Fiddleford as it let out another vicious growl, towering over all of the Gems as they raced for it with their respective weapons drawn. Hasty as always, Amethyst leapt for it first, swinging her whip loose and wildly to latch onto one of the monster’s mighty upper fangs. The purple Gem used her taunt weapon to launch herself upward, raring to land squarely on the creature’s face to inflict a heavy kick, but before she could, the Gremloblin turned her plan against her. Instead, it swung its head upwards hard, sending both Amethyst and her whip flying fast and far off into the forest, away from the fight altogether.

In light of the purple Gem’s easy defeat, Garnet and Pearl teamed up in their successive attack. The white Gem went high, gracefully jumping up towards the treetops to land on a sturdy perch above the creature while the fusion distracted it on the ground below. The Gremloblin showed no intentions of losing its prey, despite Garnet’s best attempts at reaching the inventor while dodging the monster’s violent swings all the while. The fusion’s strength was formidable, to be sure, but when pitted against a monster of such sheer size and ferocity as the Gremloblin, even Garnet herself was no match. All it took was for the creature to suddenly catch the fusion by her gauntlet before it flung her away, sending her plowing through the trees and knocking several over in her wake until she was completely out of sight. A mere moment later, the Gremloblin also caught sight of Pearl launching herself and her spear its way, though it easily managed to stop her as well by simply making eye contact with her alone. The white Gem let out a horrified gasp, her eyes reflecting the Gremloblin’s golden ones as she collapsed flat onto the ground, instantly curling up and wrapping her arms around herself as her breaths came out in short, shallow sobs.

“Pearl!” Rose cried, almost rushing to the white Gem’s side right then and there if not for the Gremloblin attempting to attack her next.

“What’s wrong?! What did it do to her and Fiddleford?” Ford demanded, noticing that the inventor was still completely petrified in the Gremloblin’s grasp.

“I’ve heard of this happening before,” Rose said tensely, her hold on her sword tightening. “Gremloblins can make anyone see their worst nightmares just by looking into their eyes. It’ll wear off eventually, but still, we need to get Fiddleford as far away from it as possible before it can get any worse!”

“Well, then, by all means, let’s-” the author stopped short as the Gremloblin let out yet another booming roar. And then, without any warning, it outstretched its mighty wings, lifting its hulking body off the ground with but a single flap. Rose and Ford only had time to rush forward in a thwarted attempt at rescuing the inventor before the Gremloblin took off in flight, taking Fiddleford right along with it as it began its descent down the nearby mountainside.  

“No!” Ford shouted, not hesitating to chase after the beast, desperate to stop it before it could make off with his friend forever. And yet, before he could really begin his panicked pursuit, a steady hand grabbed him by the arm and swiftly pulled him back instead.

“Stay here!” Rose ordered as she summoned a new shield on her arm.

“No, I’m going with you!” the author exclaimed, adamant.

“No, you’re not! Its bad enough that one of you is in danger, I’m not risking you both.”

“You won’t be ‘risking’ anything,” Ford huffed in thorough annoyance. “I can handle something like this, you know I can. So why do you insist on acting like I can’t?!”

“Because you’re only a human!” Rose snapped, and just like that, everything shifted into stark silence.

Ford stilled, his eyes widening as he looked to the pink Gem with apt disbelief. “O-only human?”

“S-Stanford…” Rose immediately began to retract, instantly regretting her words. “I didn’t mean it like that, I-I… I just-”

“Tell me, Rose,” Ford began, his tone hard and filled with resolve as he pressed his way past the pink Gem. “Do you think a supposedly ‘simple’ human would be willing to do something like this?”

Without warning, the author suddenly sprinted off, completely unarmed and ready to take the Gremloblin on unarmed. He didn’t even bother to glance over his shoulder to see if Rose was following him, largely since he didn’t care. Regardless of whether or not she wanted him to, he was going to save Fiddleford. He was going to prove to both her and to himself that even if he was ‘only’ human, he was so much more than that as well.

Fortunately, the Gremloblin hadn’t gotten too far away as it drifted down the craggy mountain’s face. It was a rather sharp descent, but one that Ford was willing to make for Fiddleford’s sake, tearing his coat and scraping himself bloody as he half-tripped, half-ran down it. For a moment, the author dared to hope that he actually had a chance at catching up to the monster, but just before he could reach it, it turned hard, changing its course so that it was flying away from the mountain instead of simply down it. Ford skidded to a sharp stop, though only for a moment, refusing to let this be the end of the chase. Instead, he acted on impulse and adrenaline, backing up briefly before running full stop towards the nearest ledge. The author was nothing if not a man of science, so all the while, he was rushing through a number of calculations in his head, determining just how far he’d have to jump and exactly what his odds of actually making it might be. The results on both accounts were daunting, but even so, they didn’t stop him from taking the leap all the same. With a courageous shout, Ford pushed himself off the mountainside, keeping the Gremloblin and Fiddleford both in his sights all the while as he sailed through the air towards them. For a brief moment, at least.

For soon enough, gravity inevitably enacted itself upon the author, stopping his forward momentum as he all too quickly began plummeting downward. The base of the mountain was hundreds of feet below him, and Ford didn’t even have to think twice to know the impact would be agonizing. But fortunately, it was an impact that never came as he landed softly in a pair of soft, outstretched arms instead.

The moment Rose caught him amidst his freefall, Ford’s heart practically sunk immeasurably. So much for trying to prove himself to her, for in his reckless hastiness, here she had come, once again, to rescue him from peril, just as she so often had to do. However, as she began to float gently back down towards the mountain, her expression was anything but admonishing; instead it was sad, remorseful as she averted the author’s gaze altogether and spoke softly as they touched down. “Only a human like you would be brave enough to risk his life for his friend,” the pink Gem shook her head and laughed as she looked down at him. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize it until now. Maybe you really can handle it after all…”

“R-Rose?”

“B-but now isn’t really the time for that, is it?” she asked, her tone turning upbeat and determined as she set her sights on the fleeing Gremloblin high above them. “Let’s do this, Stanford, together this time.”

As baffled as he was, the author couldn’t help but return the pink Gem’s smile as he noted her warm sincerity. Which was why he allowed her to take the literal leap high into the air with him in tow, easily gaining enough height and speed to catch up to the soaring Gremloblin. They landed squarely on its back, though the moment the monster sensed their weight, it went into a frenzy. Rose and Ford struggled to keep their footing as the creature tried everything it could to shake them off its back, from twirling to divebombing and everything in between. Even so, they kept their wits about them, Ford in particular as he managed to crawl forward towards the monster’s head. In trying to simply stay on the Gremloblin herself as she was, Rose was quite surprised when she glanced ahead, only to find the author perched on the monster’s back as he, oddly enough, drew his journal out of his lab coat of all things. And, in one swift move, he reeled the book back before slamming it hard into the back of the Gremloblin’s head.

Despite his strong, muscular, monstrous form, the creature recoiled in pain from the surprisingly heavy blow. Miraculously enough, it managed to knock the beast out cold entirely, though as a result, its wings immediately went limp. Ford only briefly let out a gasp of alarm as the monster’s unconscious form began careening madly through the air towards the ground far below, but once again, Rose raced to his rescue just in the nick of time.

Acting quickly, the pink Gem swept the author into her arms before doing the very same with the still quite listless Fiddleford. With both humans safe and secure in her grasp, Rose leapt from the plummeting beast’s back, floating slowly down towards the ground as the Gremloblin fell at a much faster rate. The pink Gem and the author watched with wide eyes as the now-defeated beast crashed into the roof of a barn out in the countryside, one that they landed not too far away from themselves.

“Well…” Ford mused as Rose released both him and Fiddleford, carefully setting the inventor down in the grass so he could recover. “I have to say that was a bit sloppy… but still successful all the same.”

“Sloppy?” Rose asked with an incredulous chuckle. “Ford, that was amazing! Still, I can’t help but feel bad for that poor Gremloblin. After all, it was just trying to rest peacefully…”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” the author assured. “After all, I hear those things are… frustratingly hearty.” As if to prove him right, a familiar growl began to sound from inside the barn, accompanied by a chorus of panicked horses, cows, and various other livestock. “A-actually, we should probably get going before we have to go through this all over again…”

Rose didn’t argue, gently scooping Fiddleford up once again as they hurried out of the monster’s range. Their next goal, to regroup with the rest of the scattered Gems, recover the hyperdrive and finally get home from this lengthy quest, was clear, and that’s exactly what the pair set out to do. Along the way, Fiddleford finally began to slip out of his stupor, though as soon as he did, it was immediately apparent that not all was well with the inventor in the aftermath of his horrific encounter with the fearsome Gremloblin. For much of the trek back up the mountain, Fiddleford was all but incoherent, babbling frantically to himself as Rose carried him to spare his still-unsteady legs from having to walk. Even after a round of precautionary healing tears from the pink Gem herself, the inventor’s shaken manner hardly changed. He was still quite distant and anxious (even more anxious than he usually had a tendency to be), traits that Pearl also shared when the trio found her and the hyperdrive still sitting in the same exact spot in the woods where they had left her. Rose and Ford chalked their worrisome behavior up to the Gremloblin’s nightmarish gaze, and carried the hope that they’d recover from it soon enough, something that Garnet was able to confirm when they met up with her and Amethyst once more. Yet all the same, despite Fiddleford’s tense, fretful silence, Ford still happened to glean one quiet, bitterly muttered thought from his friend as they all parted ways upon making it home that evening. Something about finding a way to forget that it had all ever happened in the first place.

***

In light of the harrowing adventure they had just returned from, Ford was very grateful to find a moment’s rest to catch up on recording his notes on it in the journal. The author had taken to his favorite writing spot, on a surprisingly comfy stone halfway up the hill to the Gem’s temple, one that gave him a quiet, serene spot to jot down his thoughts and observations. He had just about finished documenting his and Rose’s surprisingly swift victory against the Gremloblin, when the pink Gem herself decided to join him.

At first, Rose said nothing as she took a seat on the rock beside him, her pink curls shifting softly in the late evening breeze. And aside from a brief glance her way, Ford simply continued writing, unsure of what to really say to her in light of all that had happened. Fortunately though, he didn’t have to think of anything, as Rose spoke up first instead.

“You know, it’s so funny,” she began with a small laugh that almost sounded bitter in a way. “I’ve spent so long trying to not to be like them, but even after thousands of years, I guess I still have a few things in common with them after all.”

“...With... who?” Ford ventured, slightly worried that, once again, he wouldn’t get a concrete answer. However, much to his surprise, a concrete answer was exactly what Rose finally gave him.

“With... with Homeworld,” the pink Gem sighed, turning her gaze up to the early stars above. “They used to keep things from me—f-from... lesser Gems too. Said we ‘didn’t need to know’ what they did. I always thought it was so unfair. So... in a way, I suppose I understand how you feel whenever I do the same thing to you.”

“...Oh,” was all Ford said, wisely choosing not to press Rose with any further questions on the matter. After all, his own brashness and stubborn craving for answers the pink Gem hadn’t been ready to give had already created something of a rift between them. A rift that the author had no intentions of widening any more than he already had.

“Homeworld... wasn’t exactly a place where Gems could just... be whatever or whoever they wanted to be...” Rose explained slowly, carefully. “There was no freedom, no fun... no love. That’s why, when I first came here and found out that this planet was filled with those things, I knew from the start that the Earth, that freedom, and fun, and love, were all well worth protecting. But they—H-Homeworld, didn’t see things the same way. They wanted to use the Earth to make more of us, to turn it into another one of their countless colonies. If they had their way, it... it would have destroyed the Earth and every single living thing that calls it home. A-and I just couldn’t stand by and let that happen! Which was why I decided to take a stand against them, me and all of the other Gems who felt the same way about the Earth. We came together and fought against Homeworld with everything we had. Like I said before, we left Homeworld behind entirely, all so we could finally exist somewhere else. So we could all be something else...”

“The Crystal Gems...?” Ford inferred, trying his best to hide the initial shock from such a heavy revelation.

Rose nodded thoughtfully. “Back then there were more than just four of us. But... well, what happened to the others is... a very long story in and of itself.”

“i see...” the author’s brow furrowed as he took stock of the pink Gem’s expression, noting the hints of longstanding pain and guilt within it. “I always thought that the four of you had arrived on Earth as part of some exploratory mission and just decided to stay here after all the others left. But now... knowing the truth... I... I suppose I never could have imagined something like, well, that.”

“It’s... not something I like thinking back on...” Rose said, looking down fretfully.

“That’s... understandable,” Ford nodded, suddenly quite remorseful. “Rose, I... I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I just... Well, you know how stubborn I can be when it comes to my research.”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘stubborn’,” the pink Gem finally smirked. “I’d call it... ‘determined’. And that determination was something you definitely put to the test earlier today. Which is why I’m so, so sorry for doubting you before. I thought I was just trying to protect you, but you were right all along; you really can handle more than I gave you credit for.”

“Don’t feel too bad about it,” Ford remarked with a small, joking grin. “You wouldn’t be the first to underestimate me, after all.”

Noting the author’s playful manner, Rose was unable to hold back a hearty laugh over this, one that Ford was more than happy to share. Despite the danger they faced earlier in the day, neither of them could deny that the struggles and trials of it all had indeed given way to a newfound sense of trust between them. The author already had an abundance of respect for the pink Gem, perhaps from even the very first day he had met her two years ago. But that respect had indeed been tested to the limits when she had so openly refused to see him as her equal. It was only when Rose herself decided to take on the same sort of respect Ford had for her towards him that the pair, all differences aside, were finally able to truly see eye-to-eye. And, as they’d both come to find out, that respect would be tried and tested time and time again, wavered and torn through portals, and demons, and a tragic separation. Yet even through it all, that respect, though constantly in flux between growing and shrinking, surprisingly was never once broken.

***

“So that’s it?” Peridot cut in the moment it was apparently that Ford, McGucket, and the other Gems had wrapped up their story. “You just went out to that ‘Crash Site Omega’, went in, got your hyperdrive (which is incredibly outdated tech, by the way, I can't believe you managed to find any sort of use for it!), fought a monster, and then went home? How boring!”

“Aw, shucks, it sure wasn’t borin’ at the time!” McGucket exclaimed. “’Specially not that nasty Grem-whosa-whats-it. I can guarantee firsthand that thing was a horrifyin’ freak of nature!”

“So can we, since we fought it off one time too!” Mabel chimed in with a daring grin.

“Excuse me, you what?” Ford asked, instantly concerned upon hearing this.

“Eh, we can tell you about that some other time,” Dipper quickly brushed it off. “For now, I kinda can’t help but think that your story sounds... kinda familiar.”

“Oh yeah!” Steven agreed, turning to the Gems. “Mom being all secretive about Homeworld is basically you guys used to do to us. That… honestly explains a lot, actually…”

“We had our reasons,” Garnet said simply. “So did Rose.”

“And at least we did open up to you all about it… eventually,” Pearl added.

“Yeah, and it didn’t take a hundred million annoying questions to get us to do it either,” Amethyst said, taking an obvious jab at Ford.

“W-well, what can I say?” the author huffed defensively. “I’ll be the first to admit that I was much more… impetuous when I was younger-”

“Impetuous?” McGucket repeated with a laugh. “Stanford, don’t go lyin’ to these youngsters. You were as stubborn as stubborn comes!”

“Not stubborn,” Garnet spoke up, offering the author a small smile. “Determined, just like Rose said.”

“Exactly,” Ford grinned, satisfied. “Determined. Much like you kids are, come to think of it.”

“Determined enough to… oh, I don’t know…” Dipper began rather leadingly. “Tell us what and where Crash Site Omega actually is?”

“Nice try,” the author said knowingly. “But no. Well… at least not yet, anyway.”

“A ‘not yet’, huh?” Mabel looked to Steven and Dipper with an encouraging grin. “Well, that’s not a total no, so its good enough for me!”

“Not for me,” Peridot remarked, crossing her arms and shaking her head. “I’m still not over the fact that you used a Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive, of all things! What kind of relic of a machine were you even trying to build that would need a power source that’s so… so ancient?”

Ford, McGucket, and the Gems exchanged a bit of a worried glance at this, knowing that the true answer to this question held countless missteps and horrors all their own. Yet even if the portal itself had ended in disaster, none of them could deny that the road to get them to its completion had been filled with countless ups and downs and unique stories to tell. It had been a path paved with memories, many of them quite fond, memories that they were all mutually glad to finally have back, even if restoring them had awakened moments they would have just as well left back in the past. But if there was any one thing they could all agree on, it was that they were still glad to have those memories, those adventurous, daring days of discovery and friendship back, tying them together into the team they used to be once more. Which was why it was with a small smile that Ford replied to the green Gem’s question, silently agreeing with the others to leave the pains of the past behind to embrace the best of the present, and the road to the future, instead. “None of us need to worry about that anymore. After all, there are some stories that are better left… untold.”

Next:

[andrewmoocow]

Gravity Soul chapter 10: Weirdmageddon Take Two, Gravity Falls No Longer Safe? (originally posted on September 28, 2018)

AN: And so begins Weirdmageddon once more. Greetings loyal readers to the final arc of Gravity Soul. With Gravity Falls now no longer safe from the madness of Kishin Cipher, the Mystery Meisters now fresh off of rescuing Pacifica must find another place to hide from him and pull off one last plan to stop him. Also in this arc will feature the usage of the Vigenere cipher which means whatever word that is highlighted in bold in the author's notes will be the key needed to decipher it. But enough for now, let's all return to the BUNKER. TIZOXZNYF DLV EUEUIJU MRMVVUM JOVV UBBEKYU NB LI CPMG LYK GCANMEH NUOQ TPGRC EK B WBCX KIY XOIGFL AOZVS CADIEEYQ DLVN NB LI WPOAN FLU HBG MK'T NUO SKIYE GEP BLBERU

They thought it was impossible. They thought they would come out of that mansion with at least a few physical scars. But no. They received mental scars instead from what the fusion of the dream demon and the Kishin inflicted on them. The rescue party looked upward at Kishin Cipher cackling maniacally with his head tossed back and hands in the air. He had won and Weirdmageddon began anew. "W-we lost." Kid stuttered in sheer disbelief, at both the monster's victory and his previously unknown connection to Asura. "And did he just sing a big musical number about how everything has gone to hell now?" Black Star wondered. "I mean, it honestly was a catchy tune, but was it necessary?" Stanford and Maka on the other hand had their backs turned away from the others and mourned the sacrifices of the people they cared for the most. Ford had lost his brother, his best friend, the very person who had spent thirty years trying to rescue him and now in a cruel twist of irony, he was the one that needed saving now. Maka had lost her weapon, her partner, the boy who had put his life on the line for her own safety, and now he was gone. "Soul..." "Stanley..." It wasn't long before the two of them embraced while breaking down into tears as the others looked on. Dipper tipped his hat in silence & Mabel cried as well and Crona & Spirit, the only family Maka had left now, tried to comfort the girl. "So where do we go from here?" Wendy asked. "FOOLS!" Excalibur cried breaking the silence. "There's no use in staying here now that Kishin Cipher's reigning supreme, so I suggest we find somewhere to hide." he declared. "But where? Pretty sure we can't go back to the Mystery Shack right now." Soos answered before the Holy Sword cut him off. "FOOL! Isn't there some kind of secret hiding place in these woods?" "Oh that's right, there's Ford's secret bunker!" Wendy suddenly realized. "We just gotta find it, rest up in there for a while and then form a plan!" she stated. "Good plan there Wendy, but where is it?" Tsubaki wondered. "The entrance's disguised as a tree, so we just gotta keep knocking on wood until we hit metal." "Yeah, Wendy's right." Dipper agreed wiping the tears from his eyes. "If only we still had Journal 3 with us, then we'd navigate it easily." he added glumly. Suddenly they all heard a rumbling noise that quietly erupted through the forest before an entire stampede of cryptids from across Gravity Falls charged right through them. "Hey pigtails, move it!" one of the gnomes shouted. "We're fleeing here!" a unicorn snidely added. "Whoa, what are they all running for?" Patty wondered. "And was that a unicorn?!" "You should get going too little one, Weirdmageddon is back!" a large bear with multiple heads stated before staring off into the distance with fear. "My lord, they're coming!" Just then, a group of demonic looking bears bounced across the trees with their teeth bared and eyes full of primal hunger. "Oh no, they're bouncing here and there and everywhere!" Soos cried. "Mass chaos that's beyond compare!" "Well what're we waiting for, to the bunker!" Dipper exclaimed preparing to lead everyone out of the forest before turning back to find Melody, Ghost-Eyes and Pacifica's mother still standing there. "Wait, aren't you coming?" "Sorry Dipper, but I think this might be too dangerous for all of us." Melody said. "We'll all still be here when you get back, hopefully." "Be safe out there Gideon." Ghost-Eyes said to his fellow ex-inmate. "You too old friend." Gideon replied and they fistbumped. "Pacifica, I want you to know that no matter how you feel about your father and I, we'll be there cheering you on against that monster." Priscilla said hugging her daughter. "And remember to thank your friends for saving us as well." "I will mother." Pacifica replied before they broke. "I promise I'll come back for you." Soos promised Melody. "I know you will dude." his fiancee replied and then they kissed. "All right, let's get moving everyone." Maka commanded and thus the remaining Mystery Meisters set off for the bunker.

"Anything yet guys?" Mabel asked as Black Star kept knocking on the trees hoping that one would lead them to the bunker. "Seems like we've been walking and hiding forever." "Nothing Mabel, we're getting in a rut." the ninja replied before they hid behind one of the trees away from the gaze of an Eyebat. "We need to be very very quiet everyone. Kishin Cipher's forces could strike at any minute." Ford stated quietly and they continued on their way. As the party snuck around the forest, they found numerous monsters unknowingly on their tail, such as a large humanoid vulture creature that made a strange whimpering sound, a strange dark blue android with a green symbol on its chest & red fins sticking out the back of its head, a bipedal jackal wearing a silver mask, a muscular humanoid beast with flaming facial hair & a burn scar over his left eye and many more, all looking to kill on sight. "Yeesh, these are nothing like what we've faced before." Dipper commented examining all the new beasts that had been unleashed when suddenly, he laid eyes upon a strange being whose body seemed to be made of various pipes. "And what even is that thing?" The boy felt himself edging into insanity little by little before he quickly covered his eyes in fright. "Hey guys, I think we found it!" Liz called pounding on a strangely metallic tree. "This seems like a good place to hide." "This is the exact place where I found Journal 3." Dipper stated. "I was only told to put up signs for Stan one day and then there it was. Where it all began." he explained. "We can recap last summer later, let's open this baby and get inside!" Wendy exclaimed preparing to scale it with her axe. "Wait, you're going to do it like that?" Black Star wondered. "Of course dude, it's how we opened it in the first place." the cashier said. "There's this little branch that's hiding a lever all the way up there." "Well there's no need for climbing, let a ninja handle this!" Black Star boasted using his ninjitsu skills to race up the tree and jump, grabbing onto the aforementioned branch and pulling it, causing the grass surrounding it to collapse into a spiral staircase leading to the entrance. "Boo-yah!" "Well hornswaggle mah goat-knees, just like old times!" Fiddleford exclaimed doing a quick victory jig. "Now come on sprouts, I can show y'all around!" With that, the hillbilly forgone taking the stairs and jumped down the entrance to the door. "Now come by, it brings back memories!" "Just as long as there's no dust to make me asymmetrical." Kid flatly stated walking down the stairs with the Thompsons behind him and soon, everyone else all except for Ford who was looking off into the distance with a solemn frown. "C'mon Mr. Pines, Kishin Cipher's minions could be coming any minute!" Eruka called for him. "Oh, terribly sorry everyone!" Ford stuttered trying to hide his emotional pain as booming footsteps sounded from afar. Luckily they were all able to get in and close the entrance behind him before one of Bill's henchmaniacs did indeed come across the bunker. "Uh boss, those mortals are gone!" the beast announced scratching his head with one of his eight-ball eyes becoming crooked. "Oh hush up 8-Ball, we can find them later!" Kishin Cipher said floating down to meet his minion's gaze as the other monsters roaming the forest gathered around their new master. "We'll focus on terrorizing all those stupid humans for now, but the reason why I broke you all out of the Nightmare Realm," the fusion stated before he stabbed a finger into his temple and rapidly drilled into it. "IS REVENGE!" The abominations cheered and chanted Kishin Cipher's name as one of the new monsters stepped forth. "Oh yes master, we are forever at your command!" the female beast cried bowing before him. "My pelt is now your pelt!" "Aw shucks Kaguya, you're just too kind!" Kishin Cipher complimented stroking her head and making her purr. "But my lord, what about those children?" a sharply-dressed humanoid being with a deformed face wondered. "Oh don't worry White Rabbit, I already got a few guys after them." Cipher answered before he projected an image of a snake, a spider and a scorpion crawling around.

Stepping further into the bunker, the Mystery Meisters finally came across the shelter which contained various weapons, food supplies and a small bed. "Wow, did you build this for some kinda apocalypse? If so, then I should've really brought a fire-shooting guitar along!" Patty exclaimed amazed at the room but Kid on the other hand wasn't as happy. "Did you even take symmetry into account Stanford?! Everything here is horribly unorganized!" he screamed trying to clean everything up. "Just messy, messy, messy!" "Looks like we're gonna be here a while. Who's up for some High-Flying Beans?!" McGucket asked rifling through their rations before he came across a familiar candy. "Hey waitaminute, is this my Smez dispenser? So that's where it went!" "Fiddleford's right, we might be in here for quite a long time, which is why I've gathered rations to last us until 2070." Ford explained. "In case any of us go hungry after like twenty years tops, we might have to resort to cannibalism." he remarked. "Wait, so we're gonna stay down here while all those monsters run amok?" Dipper asked. "We haven't lost yet Ford, we just need to think of a-" "WE HAVE LOST, WE LOST EVERYTHING!" the surviving great uncle suddenly exploded spooking his young partner and realized just what he had done. "Oh my goodness, I am terribly sorry Dipper! I didn't mean to blow up in your face!" "It's okay Ford, I know where you're coming from. It's horrible we lost Stan, but that's not important right now." Dipper reassured the older man. "Right now, we just gotta find a way to stop Kishin Cipher." "Thank you for that kid, but I think I should just sit down for a while." Ford stated taking a seat on the bed. "I still can't believe it, Bill took my brother after he spent years trying to bring me back." he mumbled. "Somehow I feel that is just cruelly ironic." "You talking about your brother?" Maka asked sitting down next to him. "I feel you Mr. Pines. In fact, I lost my weapon & best friend at the same time yet I'm not randomly screaming in everyone's face." she said. "I know Maka, but I've known Bill far longer than any of you." Ford said starting to choke up before crying. "In fact, I thought he was my friend." "Wait, what?!" Black Star shouted dropping a crate he was moving onto Spirit's foot. "You and Bill were actually bros once?!" he asked. "How long ago was it? Please elaborate." Stein said taking a puff of his cigarette. "It was when I was much younger, around Spirit's age, when I first met Bill." Ford stated beginning to reminisce on less traumatizing times.

"It was when I hit a roadblock in my research of Gravity Falls, and I thought there was nothing else left to discover until I met him in my dreams." Ford narrated picturing his younger self resting under a tree in the forest before the greenery turned into something bizarre. Examining his new surroundings, Ford then came face to face with a peculiar triangular creature who greeted him in a polite yet screechy tone. "Hiya smart guy!" the shape said, his voice echoing throughout the strange realm. "Whoa, don't have a heart attack! You're not 92 yet!" "Who are you?" the young scientist asked. "Name's Bill, and you're Stanford Pines, the man who changed the world! But I'm getting ahead of myself, let's relax." the creature, now named Bill, stated making a teapot and a chessboard appear out of thin air. "Have a cup of tea!" "He claimed to be a muse that chose one brilliant mind once a century to inspire. But of course it was all a lie." Ford continued in the present day. "I allowed him to take control of my body whenever he pleased. I trusted him like a research partner until I got a glimpse of Bill's true plans." Much later on, Ford and Fiddleford stood in front of the universe portal that they unknowingly helped Bill Cipher construct with a crash dummy for testing. "Are we clear Fidds?" the younger Pines asked his lab partner, who was unaware his foot got tangled with the rope tying the dummy down. "I'll take that as a yes! Ready and..." Suddenly Fiddleford felt himself sucked in along with the dummy when they released it, only saved by Ford at the last moment before the portal would swallow him whole. "I got ya buddy!" Ford shouted tugging the rope and pulling his partner back to the ground. "What is it? Is it working, what did you see?!" The only words that came out McGucket's mouth was complete gibberish before he rose from the ground, his eyes widened in horror. "When gravity falls and earth become sky, fear the beast with just one eye!" he chanted to Ford's confusion. "Fiddleford, get a hold of yourself! You're not making any sense!" Stanford cried trying to put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder before he jerked away. "This machine is dangerous! You'll bring about the end of the world with this!" a now paranoid Fiddleford screamed. "Destroy it before it destroys us all!" "I can't destroy this, it's my life's work!" Ford tried to argue but his words fell on deaf ears as his partner stormed away. "I fear we've unleashed a great danger on the world, one that I'd just as soon forget. I quit!"

"I never learned just what he saw on the other side, but speaking in present tense I can only assume it was one of Bill's hangouts." Ford concluded his story. "Well is there anything in this bunker that can help us?" Tsubaki wondered. "Maybe if we can go deeper we'll get some answers!" Free replied tearing off a porthole that led to another room, this one consisting of various metal cubes lining every last corner. Going through the porthole, the room seemed almost normal except for a particular design on one of the tiles. "This security room is designed to crush intruders who don't have a code to reverse it. Now be sure to not step on that tile." Ford explained before he pointed to that specific tile. "That is the tile that could seal your dooms if someone presses it. Got it memorized?" "You got it." Free stated before he tried to step on the tile. "Ooh, what's this button do?" he asked and Soos grabbed him by the arm, keeping him away from the tile. "Sorry dude, you don't wanna press that. Might kill us all." Progressing further, they discovered a surveillance room connected to what seemed to be a laboratory given the presence of various cryogenic tubes, one of which was heavily damaged. "Seriously, how the hell did you build all of this without anyone noticing? And where did you get all the supplies too?" Black Star wondered before noticing something odd on one of the screens. "Hey, get outta there spider!" he said trying to squish it and realizing that it wasn't resting on the screen, but inside the lab itself. "Uh, Ford!" "Something the matter Black Star?" Ford asked the ninja. "You ever got any giant spiders in here? Cause I've already found one." he pointed out, much to the scientist's shock. "My word, how did that thing follow us in here?!" Ford cried racing to grab a rifle. "That thing could be one of Kishin Cipher's monsters, so I'm gonna need some help!" "You can count on me Sixer! Like I said before, just like old times!" McGucket declared arming himself with his sonic banjo. "We're with you as well Stanford." Stein added already commanding Spirit to transform into his scythe mode. "Okay then, let's move out!" Ford declared before Crona stopped him. "Wait, what about us Grunkle Ford?" "The rest of you stay in here and keep watch while we're gone! If anything happens, be on your guard." Ford stated before he, McGucket, Spirit and Stein departed the observation room to hunt down the spider, leaving the kids, Soos, Wendy, Blair, Excalibur, Free, Eruka and the Mizunes behind. "So what do we do now? The grownups all leave to kill spiders and we're stuck here doing nothing." Patty wondered unknowingly leaning on a red button on the console, causing one of the tubes to deactivate. This tube in particular contained what looked like a frozen Dipper screaming in terror that was ready to melt. The real Dipper gasped in horror, realizing just what this other him was. "Patty, what did you do?!" "What did I do?!" the Thompson asked. "You just released an evil experiment that tried to kill us when we first came here dude!" Wendy answered. "You sure about that guys? Looks like a frozen Dipper to me." Liz commented. "Exactly, that thing's a dangerous shapeshifter!" "Well what are we waiting for, let's go kill it!" Black Star shouted picking up Tsubaki and charging through the door that led to the lab, pretty much knocking it down. The rest of the party followed him behind ready to take on the beast.

Meanwhile with Ford's group, he, Fiddleford, Spirit and Stein crept through a long & winding tunnel system in search of the spider. "I don't think I remember ever digging such an elaborate passageway in here." Ford commented. "Did you Fidds?" "Nope, not the slightest clue!" McGucket replied before he dropped down and sniffed the ground to track its scent. "Think it went thataway!" he shouted pointing in the next direction like a dog. "Good work McGucket, though I'm not sure if that was really necessary." Stein stated and they moved onward. Going deeper through the caves, the four finally found the spider in a large open space that made it ripe for the squishing. "Okay everyone, be silent. I've only got one shot at this." Ford whispered aiming his rifle at the giant spider. "Ready, aim..." Just then, a snake loudly hissed breaking his concentration and firing, sending the bullet flying across the area. "What was that?!" "I think that was a snake!" Stein exclaimed. "Wait a minute. Spider, snake." he muttered then coming to a startling conclusion. "Oh no!" "Something the matter Frank?" Fiddleford asked before his mouth was hastily shut by the Meister. "Don't make a sound, they might hear us!" he cautioned them. "And yet you're making a sound right now!" Ford replied. "Kinda hypocritical much?" "Touche." Stein responded and just then, they heard a woman say "Vector Plate.", spawning an arrow under them & sending them flying toward the snake & spider. "Is this the scientist you told me about dear sister? I never seen someone with six fingers before." the gargantuan arachnid remarked before it transformed into a beautiful pale-skinned woman wearing a long black sleeveless dress. Spirit & Stein knew exactly who this was. "Arachne?!" "That's Arachne? And they're sisters apparently." Ford commented getting up and dusting himself off. "I don't see that much of a family resemblance." "Hello again Meister scum. And I see you've brought some new blood for us." Arachne greeted Stein. "It certainly has been a while Stein, pity that you abandoned me when you fell to madness." Medusa added. "Listen to me Stein, don't fall for her games!" Ford cautioned the Meister. "From the looks of it, she could trick anyone and then backstab-" It was then Ford came to a startling realization. A genius scientist that became close with a manipulative creature colored in black & yellow that was slowly toying with him. Why did that seem so familiar? It was almost like reliving the time he spent working with Bill, believing him to be a kindred spirit. "Weren't you all supposed to be dead?" Spirit asked. "I was until my sister requested that our new master bring us back to life." the elder Gorgon sibling answered. "Wait, what do you mean 'us'?" Ford wondered fearing if she was talking about someone else. His suspicions were confirmed to be true as another witch, this one looking much younger than the other two with a bizarre covering on her head that resembled a scorpion's tail at the end. "Meet our youngest sister, Shaula." "Wait, there's three of them?!" Ford exclaimed turning to Stein and pointing an accusing finger at him. "You only ever mentioned the two!" he shouted. "Well to be fair, how she was defeated was pretty embarrassing." Stein tried to defend himself. "I mean, she was killed by students of the NOT class!" "Silence!" Shaula boomed glaring at the pair of geniuses. "Kishin Cipher has resurrected all three of us to be his loyal servants and our mission right now is to kill all of you & those brats as well." she declared. "And as for my humiliation, he made sure it won't happen again and made me stronger." "Heads up y'all, looks like we're in for a rumble!" Fiddleford exclaimed picking up his sonic banjo as the others took up arms against the Gorgon sisters.

Back in the lab, the remaining Mystery Meisters were now face to face with a currently defrosted cryogenic tube and out of it, came an exact double of Dipper looking furious. "You!" it shouted in a deep voice pointing at Dipper, Mabel, Wendy & Soos. "You forced me into that contraption and left me to perish!" As it spoke, the Dipper clone transformed into a white-skinned insectlike creature with misshapen arms, one more slender with three fingers & the other swollen with a claw. "And I see you brought some fresh new faces for me as well." "That's what that shapeshifter looks like? I would comment on how horribly asymmetrical it is, but I'm too horrified beyond words!" Kid squeaked fearfully as the Shapeshifter took on the form of Maka. "Now then, which one shall it be?" it wondered emphasizing each word by transforming into Crona, Black Star, Tsubaki, Kid, Liz & Patty in that order. "Why not everyone?" it emphasized some more by turning into Eruka, Free and Mizune before its form changed into a terrifying amalgam of everybody he previously transformed into making them scream loudly in terror. "KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Pacifica hollered grabbing Liz, turning her into her weapon form and fired repeatedly, but the creature dodged the bullets by zooming off. "Where'd it go?" the formerly rich girl panted dropping Liz to the ground. "More importantly, where did you learn to fire like that?" the cowgirl weapon asked. "Got it from all my experience playing Bloodcraft: Overdeath." Pacifica answered boastfully. "PLATINUMPAZ level 100 to be precise." "You're PLATINUMPAZ? That's why I always get creamed whenever I face you!" Black Star exclaimed. "We can talk about video games later dudes, anyone know where that shifter guy went?" Soos inquired. "And more importantly, did I always have two big sisters?" Patty added remarking upon the sudden appearance of another Liz. "That is utterly preposterous Patty, our Liz isn't nearly as busty!" Kid stated clutching both of their assets. "As we should know, you aren't very symmetrical! Especially your chests!" This observation earned him a good smack on the head from Liz. "Well this is something only the real Liz would do!" "Wait, if that's the real Liz, then who's-" Tsubaki asked before she came to a shocking conclusion. "Oh no." she muttered frighteningly as the second Liz laughed before it transformed back into the Shapeshifter. "You discovered me far too easily!" it said. "But enough about you, I think it's about time I get revenge on you Dipper!" "Get back everyone, I'm going in alone!" Dipper ordered bravely picking up Excalibur. "Are you crazy Dipper?! Let me come too!" Wendy exclaimed pulling out her axe. "And us too, since we're going for a whole sharp weapons thing here!" Ragnarok added forming into Crona's sword. "Ah, we engage in a swords and sorcery type battle, I see. In that case!" The shapeshifter then formed a pair of its own swords out of its arms. "So be it!" "Okay change of plans. Me, Wendy and Crona will take on the shapeshifter while the rest of you take cover!" Dipper explained. "You got it broseph!" The others raced back into the adjacent room as Dipper made the first move, clashing Excalibur with the Shapeshifter's makeshift sword while Wendy scarred its other arm and Crona stabbing it in the back.

"I'm like really sorry for letting this happen guys." Patty hurriedly apologized dropping to her knees. "If there's anything I can do to make it up to you, just say the word!" "Hey chill out sis, it was just a button." Liz assured her younger sister. "And besides, it's not like you gave away something that could end the universe as we know it." Her comment accidentally sent shivers down Mabel's spine as she turned away nervously stroking her hair. She knew she couldn't keep mum about a certain event last summer no longer, but feared that if she spoke up about it right now it would result in being ostracized from her family. "Uh, are you okay Mabel?" Maka asked her. "What, no! I'm fine, perfectly fine!" Mabel exclaimed shyly, still not wanting to give away that secret she was keeping for months. "You know what would be great dudes? If we had some popcorn with us, cause this fight is heating up!" Soos exclaimed bringing attention to the fight going on next door. "Kinda like a fighting game!" "Yeah, get 'em Crona!" Black Star cheered the son of Medusa on. "Yeah, give that thing what for DP!" Pacifica added. "You can do it Wendy!" Soos exclaimed waving his arms around. "C'mon guys, do the wave with me!" Everybody complied doing the wave, all except for Mabel who remained silent in the corner and Eruka, Free & the Mizunes who had transformed into their animal forms and snuck away.

The four-way battle raged on with Dipper now getting a better grip on the sheer awesome power of Excalibur as he clashed with the Shapeshifter. "Look man, we don't want any more trouble then we've already caused, we just want to find shelter in here away from the flipping apocalypse!" "You have denied my freedom to roam the outside world and seek revenge, and now I shall deny you and your comrades the freedom of life!" the Shapeshifter roared before it suddenly heard a croak coming from the dark corner. It then immediately snatched Eruka from her hiding place and held her hostage. "Surrender now or this little toad gets it!" "Hey, let my little buddy go ya stupid Xenomorph!" Free shouted tackling the experiment from behind. "Think you can copy a werewolf like me big boy?! I'd like to see you try!" he challenged only to be smacked aside. "You are insignificant to me now. Leave or face death." "Well we're outta here! Dipper, we're gonna go look for Mr. Ford." Eruka explained hopping away to find the author. "And if you don't make it out, we'll tell him you're sorry." With the traitorous minions of Medusa now gone, the battle restarted with the Shapeshifter now preparing to attack Crona, but Wendy was quick to put herself in its path and slash the monster's mouth off, causing green blood to spew everywhere. "Always wanted to do that." "All right, go Wendy!" Ragnarok exclaimed. "Makes me wonder how that old man is doing."

Speaking of Ford, he was currently backed into a corner by Arachne, his rifle now out of ammo. "Seriously, what even kills you?!" he screamed deciding to just beat her over the head with the empty weapon itself. "I would say, but it would be foolish of me to do so." the spider witch snidely answered slashing him across the face with her fan. "AGH!" "Stanford!" Stein cried out temporarily distracted from Medusa, which led her to stab him from behind with an arrow. "Why continue to show concern for these fools when you can return to my side Stein?" she asked the bleeding genius picking him up by the shirt collar with a seductive, manipulative smirk on her face. "You are the most powerful Meister there ever was, and yet you continue to serve as Death's flunky." "Well at least I actually care for people. The only person you ever show concern for is yourself, everybody else you just lie to and use for your own gain." Stein wheezily remarked with a bold expression. "I know someone who has been through almost the exact same situation and I refuse to go through this again! Let's go Spirit!" "Right old chum!" Spirit replied being picked up by his Meister and activated their Soul Resonance. This caused stitches to appear at the three sisters' feet and tying them down to the ground. "Whoa nelly, they're knitted at the soles!" McGucket shouted enamored at the duo's techniques, using it as an opportunity to smack Shaula in the face with his banjo. "Quit hitting me you oafish hillbilly!" "Get down Fiddleford, I'm coming in for the kill!" Stein exclaimed preparing to land the final blow on the sisters before he felt something soft and squishy be stabbed on his scythe. "Uh oh." The object exploded revealing it to be one of Eruka's tadpole bombs and blowing him back, much to the frog witch's embarrassment. "Oh my God, I'm terribly sorry sir! I didn't notice you were already attacking, I just believed you needed help! Oh please forgive me!" "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with the kids?" Stein asked them. "We thought you needed help against that giant spider but it turned out she's the sister of our ex-boss!" Free stated laughing nervously. "And speaking of the kids, your great-nephew is kicking the ass of some weird alien thing alongside the redhead and Crona." "Weird alien thing?" McGucket wondered. "Hey, I think he's talkin' 'bout Shifty!" he realized with a snap of his fingers before becoming scared. "Oh no, I think he's talkin' 'bout Shifty!" "Wait, that's what you called that monster? It transformed into all of us when we accidentally unfroze it and is now after Dipper, Crona & Wendy!" Eruka exclaimed. "I can explain later. Now let's move!" Ford commanded preparing to race back to the lab before he felt his feet slip off the ground. "Oh right, almost forgot about her." "We don't have time for you anymore Pines, but we'll keep on watching." Medusa threatened and the trio faded into the shadows cackling, their eyes being the only thing visible before finally vanished. "Well that was...ominous." Spirit remarked. "Now then, you were saying?" "Right, let's get outta here!" Ford stated racing out of the cave and the others followed.

"Any final requests brat?" the Shapeshifter snarled despite it having lost its mouth, now pinning Dipper against the wall as the boy tried to attack with Excalibur. "You can't stop me! I have the single most powerful weapon in the world!" Dipper declared holding the sword in the air before it was snatched out of its hands. "No!" "The most powerful weapon in the world? Doesn't seem to look like much." the experiment commented examining Excalibur before the Holy Sword spoke up. "FOOL! I'd think twice before insulting the legendary weapon of King Arthur himself!" he declared to the monster's shock. "It can talk?!" "Yes indeed. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Holy Sword known as Excalibur, sought after by Meisters far and wide to gain my ultimate power." Excalibur rambled. During his long-winded speech, not even the Shapeshifter was safe from making the Excalibur face, despite again losing its mouth. "Is he seriously this obnoxious?" "You have no idea." Dipper replied. "Now's our chance!" he exclaimed, giving Wendy & Crona an opening to strike the beast down, making him drop the young detective and the sword. "Are you ready Excalibur?!" he asked. "As a matter of fact, allow me to take this one boy." Excalibur said turning into his weapon form and hovering high in the air. "Holy Explosion!" he shouted zooming towards the Shapeshifter and stabbing him in the remains of its head and emitted a powerful explosion, finally killing it for good. When the dust cleared, all the three of them could see was Excalibur silently dusting himself off next to the green blood-covered remains of the Shapeshifter. "Where did that explosion come from?!" the voice of Free exclaimed running closer to the lab. "It came from here! Hopefully the kids are okay!" Ford replied finally entering the battle-damaged laboratory where they found Dipper panting and the Shapeshifter's corpse rotting. "Shifty..." "I am so sorry I had to do this Ford. But he tried to kill us once and we couldn't let him do it again." Dipper apologized putting a comforting hand on his great uncle, now mourning the death of the creature. "I accept your apology Dipper, but I feel like this is partially my fault as well." Ford stated remorsefully. "When Fiddleford and I raised it, it slowly became dangerous for some reason which led me to try and imprison it." "And we all know how badly that failed!" McGucket exclaimed killing the dour mood. "Oop, sorry. Carry on y'all." he then quickly apologized. "Now where the others at?" "That was totally wicked!" Black Star screamed in excitement as the aforementioned rest of the party burst out from the security room to congratulate Dipper, Crona & Wendy. "I mean, the way you weaponized Excalibur's annoyingness to kill him off was alphanumeric!" he shouted. "Try and guess which word I made up?" "We can all talk later. What happened to Mabel?" Dipper asked. "She's still with us, but she's been rather quiet for some reason lately." Kid stated. "No matter, now we have to contact my father! Maka?" "Right Kid." Maka obeyed stepping up to the cryogenic tube, fogging up the glass and writing the number needed to contact Death. "42-42-564, whenever you want to knock on Death's door." the girl Meister chanted causing the glass to turn into an image of Lord Death. "Oh hello there everyone! I see you've got Pacifica back, good show!" the Shinigami applauded the Mystery Meisters before he realized something was wrong. "Hey, what smells like dead alien body? And where are Soul & Stanley?" The party was silent for a few moments before Dipper put his hat over his chest. "They're gone." he revealed. "They gave themselves up to Kishin Cipher to save us and got turned into monsters like what happened with Pacifica's dad." "And then the guy unleashed all sorts of fresh hell all across Gravity Falls, complete with his own big showtune!" Patty shouted, much to Death's horror. "No, it can't be!" he gasped. "In Layman's terms Mr. Death, we're gonna need somewhere to hide until we're ready cause Gravity Falls is definitely no longer safe!" Soos said. "You got any place for us to stay sir?" "Oh yes, you can room with my students in Death City and train to stop Kishin Cipher." Lord Death suggested. "Thank you old friend, but first I would like to have a word with my new Meister." Excalibur said. "Mason Pines, please step forward." "Wait-what-how did you know my real name?!" Dipper exclaimed in confusion before the sword cut him off. "FOOL! I shall answer later, now take a knee my boy." he commanded, making the young man think he was being knighted. "His real name is Mason?" Pacifica tittered, causing Excalibur to silence them as well. "And you shall stay quiet as well!" "Yes sir." the rest of the Mystery Meisters complied bowing before the boy and the sword. "Mason Pines, for your sudden expertise in mastering the art of the sword, learning how to properly resonate with me and using my abilities to stop a great evil. I hereby anoint you as my newest Meister." he announced knighting Dipper with his cane. "May I wish good fortune upon you my friend." "Aw look, you made a new friend Excalibur!" Death exclaimed cheerfully before he began musing on how to move everyone to the Academy. "Now how can I create a way outta there?" he pondered before Eruka spoke up. "I believe Free and I can help out." "Oh, a witch helping us out? The last time that ever happened, we were quickly betrayed." Stein commented as the witch and the wolfman began combining their magic to create a gateway to Death City. With various mathematics symbols beginning to circle around a green entryway, the entrance began giving off a heavenly glow that left the duo exhausted. "Now before anyone says we pulled it out our butts, it's partially true." Free panted giving a thumbs up. "Spatial Magic and Magic Calculation, an unstoppable team." Eruka wheezed in reply. "Excellent, thank you for your assistance. Now come along, to Death City we go!" Ford exclaimed charging into the portal before Stein, McGucket, Spirit, Gideon, Black Star, Tsubaki, Blair, Waddles and Pacifica ran in after him. When almost everyone had exited the bunker into the portal, Dipper, Mabel, Maka and Crona were the only ones left to find that the witch's former cronies were being put back up on their feet by the Mizunes. "Aren't you coming with us too?" Mabel asked Eruka. "I would like to Mabel, anything to get away from this hellhole, but your town is in trouble and without you around, we might as well stay behind." Eruka answered reassuringly hugging the human girl. "And I just want to say, thank you both for helping us." "Yeah, we're gonna miss you little rascals!" Free exclaimed nearly crushing Dipper in a bear hug. "Gonna miss you guys too, now please stop crushing me!" Dipper groaned before being dropped to the ground. "And thank you for helping us get home." Maka stated gratefully. "Now good luck on protecting Gravity Falls while we're gone." "Uh guys, I think the portal might close any minute now!" Crona warned his friends as the gateway to Death City began to slightly fizzle out. "Oh right! Thanks for reminding us Crona." Dipper exclaimed before he ran into the light followed by his sister and Maka. "We'll see you guys later!" The last one to step into the portal was Crona, but only after he gave Free & Eruka one last hug. "I hope you'll all be okay when we get back." the Demon Swordsman whimpered. "Don't sweat it squirt, we got the skills to survive." Free assured Crona pushing him into the light. "Now go on, be with your friends." Crona put on a final smile before he faded into the light and the portal finally gave out, leaving the room almost deserted. "Well then, let's get crackin'!" the wolfman declared preparing to move out. "C'mon you three-eyed bastard, Papa Free's ready to get the belt out!" The Mizunes chittered in agreement scurrying behind and Eruka, turning back to examine the room hoping that her new friends safely escaped to Death City, being the last to leave, the only current occupant of the room being the decomposing corpse of the Shapeshifter.

Mere hours after the bunker was left completely empty, Kishin Cipher suddenly appeared and forced the Gorgons to kneel before him. "So, let's set a few things straight." he said in a polite yet livid tone. "I assigned you all to follow the Pines and those moronic Meisters into the bunker to kill them all." As Kishin Cipher continued, his voice grew deeper and his body turned a haunting crimson signaling that he was furious. "AND YET YOU ALL FAILED TO DO THAT TO EITHER OF THEM! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN YOU IDIOTS?!" "Please forgive us master, Screw was about to kill us when one of my former minions intervened and still they won over us!" Medusa begged for mercy. "Which one, the brain-dead mutt, the whiny frog or those pesky little mice?" Kishin Cipher sarcastically asked returning to normal. "And speaking of which, you might as well found me a new one!" Kishin Cipher then hovered over to the remains of the Shapeshifter and brought him back to life, albeit still with his mouth & an arm missing and various scars. "Good old Shifty! I've read a lot about you in Fordsy's journals, but I never thought we'd meet in person one day!" "Bill Cipher I presume?" the newly revived experiment asked. "Close but no cigar Stitch! Call me Kishin Cipher, the God of Weirdness & Madness and new master of these lands!" the Dream Kishin declared causing reality to spin around like a carousal and then stopping. "So, how'd you end up like this?" "There was this boy with an annoying sword who had put an end to me." the Shapeshifter answered to the horror of Kishin Cipher. "Wait, Pine Tree has Excalibur now?!" he exclaimed in shock. "I may be an utter pain in the ass to every one of my victims, but even I know where to draw the line!" "I need revenge! Make me your slave and I promise I shall be your greatest ally!" the creature begged him. Kishin Cipher contemplated for a few moments before finally accepting. "Okay then buddy, you're now mine!" he exclaimed. "But first you're gonna need some new threads." With a snap of his fingers, the Shapeshifter felt itself transform from a bizarre alien creature to a black chameleon-like beast with white markings lining its body, blood red eyes and a large heart-shaped hole in its chest. "So how's the new look dahling?" Kishin Cipher inquired with a proud look on his face admiring his work. "I feel so reinvigorated master! Please tell me when we can kill the Pines?!" "Up bup bup, don't get excited so soon! We still got other things to do." Kishin Cipher declared before he created a portal that he, the Shapeshifter and the witch sisters stepped into, no doubt to somewhere to plot their next scheme.

And so Weirdmageddon commences. With out heroes now being forced to retreat and the villains gathering forces, me the author and you the readers are left on the edge of our seats to learn what happens next. Will Ford make peace with his inner demons? What will happen when Mabel's secret gets out? Is there any way of stopping Kishin Cipher now?! Tune in next chapter, same Soul time, same Falls channel!

[minijenn]

Warning: angst below the cut ;P 

Damn I was just thinking about how bad Steven’s gonna have it come Wanted in UF’s sequel like??? Starting off with the events that precede it, the poor kid has to deal with his friends being captured in droves (and aside from just Connie, Lars, Sadie, Jamie, and Onion, in the UF version of this, Soos, Wendy, Stan and Ford are also gonna get captured) and yeah sure that’s a trauma he’ll share with the twins as they all face Topaz and Aquamarine and essentially give themselves up for spoiler related to the end of UF reasons to save them all and as if being taken to a distant alien planet that wants him specifically dead wasn’t bad enough, he also discovers Lars was accidentally taken along with them and he gets put on trial for a crime he didn’t commit (well, partially, again there are UF related spoilers that come into play that I can’t quite talk about yet) and the only real bright spot Steven will really get out of this is the possibility that his mom might not be a hypocritical Diamond shatterer after all but FUCK who cares about that when, in their attempt to escape, the Diamonds catch them and try to stop them, which is when shit really starts to get bad because right the fuck outta nowhere Dipper runs forward to stand off against YD, essentially sacrificing himself so Steven, Mabel, and Lars can escape while leaving himself in the merciless hands of a vengeful tyrant, so you KNOW the emotional fallout from the immediate aftermath of that is gonna be IMMENSE for both Steven and Mabel but they aren’t given any time to try and save him or even really react to it cause they gotta run and hide from shattering robinoids, but then they’re at least they get taken in by the Off Colors, who are super nice and helpful and everything yeah, but they’re all still trapped on Homeworld and they still basically left Dipper behind with the Diamonds so yeah life’s pretty much the worst but it gets even worse when those robinoids come back and nearly kill them all and actually do in fact end up killing Lars, who was just trying to protect everyone from them so now Steven has to deal with the soul crushing agony of losing not just one friend, but two and for all he knows, him or Mabel could easily be the next to get captured or die or whatever, so yeah, things are looking pretty hopeless all around until somehow Steven accidentally brings Lars back to life with his tears, but uh oh he turned him pink which is bizarre and kind of alarming but hey, what do you know, looks like him and Mabel have a way back to Earth now but oh, man they gotta leave Lars behind, and the Off Colors, and not to mention Dipper, who, again, is still in the hands of a Diamond who hates humans, wants their planet to die, and has a preestablished vendetta against “Rose” and “her” allies anyway so yeah, not good, especially when Steven and Mabel do return to Earth, they’re the ones who have to tell everyone this horrible news (and I imagine telling both of the grunkles and especially Lapis about what happened to Dipper would just be agonizing for them) and yeah everyone’s resolved to go and do what they can to save him, but I feel like, deep down, Steven would just sort of know that they wouldn’t have a chance, that they’d all probably die or end up captured too if they even try it, so he just... gives up hope amidst his immense, incredible guilt that this even happened in the first place but even then its far from over because all of the sudden this ruthless, almost robotic mercenary shows up and starts attacking the Gems, and the Pines, and Gravity Falls as a whole and Steven once again blames himself how could he be so stupid to think that the Diamonds would let him go so easily but then once again it just gets worse because it turns out that this “Stonemason” is actually Dipper, brainwashed and corrupted into serving Yellow Diamond only after being brutally tortured and mutilated and at that point Steven would just... shut down completely because this was all his fault, every single part of this was his fault and that’s why this happened to Dipper, that’s why Mabel is absolutely distraught and miserable, that’s why the Gems are clueless about what to do, that’s why Stan and Ford are running themselves ragged, that’s why Lapis is completely inconsolable, that’s why Lars is still stuck out in space, that’s why Gravity Falls is being attacked, that’s why the entire Earth is still in danger, its all because of him and OH GOD I CAN”T EVEN BEGIN TO DEAL WITH ALL OF THOSE EMOTIONS LIKE FUCK BOTH OF MY SONS ARE GONNA SUFFER THROUGHOUT THIS TURN OF EVENTS SO MUCH AND AUGHGHGHGHGH OH NO IT HURTS ME DEEPLY BUT IDK I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL THIS SO YEAH YOU KNOW AHAHAH HAPPY FUN TIMES AS USUAL UAGHGHGHGGH