#For a bit I wanted to make a gross story. Y'know. Story that makes you feel gross. And it would've heavily featured my intrusive thoughts.

[just-let-me-see-accounts]

One thing they will not tell you about writing is how fun it is to project on your characters.

[reds-writings]

bird in a cage

(pairing: crash!rust cohle x f!reader)

word count: 1.5k

a/n: a bit of a concept fic surrounding rust in his crash era i've had in the drafts. if you would like more let me know 🫣. y'know i love me some feedback

warnings: men being gross, ginger, hints at prostitution, ginger, language, sexism, etc (let me know if i missed anything!)

There was something almost eerie about Crash whenever you got the chance to be in actual proximity to him. Something lost. 

Something broken. 

It made you want to hide away anytime those tortured eyes met yours. Like you were in the wrong, an intruder of some extreme fortitude of privacy. Heavy and asphyxiating.

Despite your trepidation around Ginger’s righthand man, there was always an underlying thirst to know more. 

He was a handsome fella. You’d be stupid to deny it. All the other girls around knew it too and had no shame in chittering every chance they got ever since he manifested into your lives in the extreme bore that was East Texas.  

Ginger wouldn’t let you speak much to him. Although, that wasn’t entirely uncommon since the fucker wouldn’t let you speak to anyone much at all.

Just sit there and look pretty, doll. You’re ass ain’t good for much the fuck else. He’d say. Damning you to be some cheap whore in an even cheaper cage til the day you got ugly or died.

You’d never anticipated this is where you would end up in life. You’re sure not many girls do but thanks to your pathetic shit-heel of a brother who got himself tied up in some irreversible mess you’re now indebted to a gang leader who thought doing you a mercy was enslaving you to work for him for the rest of your days. 

Some nights you dreamed of putting one right between his bloodshot baby blues. God knows the world could do with one less of a son of a bitch like him. Gruesome consequences that’d be sure to follow be damned. 

The night air was cooler than usual, offering a small reprieve to your sun-tightened skin. You’re sure by age 40 you’d look no better than some beat-up leather couch left on the side of the road. Any money you did get to keep wasn’t prioritized for shit like sunscreen or maybe even fancy aloe like those girly cosmetic magazines you’d sneak mentioned. 

The bonfire tonight was a busy affair. Ginger made some big steal so that granted cause for some hearty celebration. Most of the men seemed to be in a nicer mood than usual, but you made no effort to leave your post on an old bourbon crate in the background. Any peace to oneself around here was a blessing and you were gonna take as much of it in as you could. 

Tired fingers fumbled with your lighter, you’d been meaning to get a new one but finding a moment to step away from the Crusaders was harder to come by than one probably thought.

By the look of your chipped nails, you could do with swiping that new shade of OPI that caught your eye in the corner store some weeks ago too.

“Didn’t peg you as a wallflower.” Your solitude was shattered by the presence of a rumbled drawl. Nearly having your poor soul shooting out your body. Whipping your head in the direction of the unfamiliar timbre you almost did a double take. 

There Crash stood, looking almost indifferent despite being the one to walk up to you in the first place. He wore some weathered-looking muscle tank repping a band you had no knowledge of and a pair of jeans that had definitely seen better days. Up close you got to take in just how well-built he was. Sure, Ginger was a hefty man, but Crash had definition to him. Like something out of a poster blushing teens would have of some heartthrob idol shamelessly plastered on their bedroom wall. 

His face was a whole other story, one you wouldn’t bother getting all wax poetic about. As pretty as it was. 

Snapping out of your short-lived reverie you huffed something resembling a scoff, 

“Didn’t know you could speak. Let alone leave Ginger’s side for more than a few minutes.”

In the dim lighting, you couldn’t initially make out whether or not that had amused him, but the glowing orange hue from the tip of his own cigarette highlighted the ghost of a smirk adorning the corner of his thin lips. It had you picking at the frayed edge of your shorts to not look so childishly in awe. 

“You got a light?” You pushed forward and asked. He shook his head no but instead offered his cigarette wordlessly. The act stilled you, but you took the small offering nonetheless, inexplicably entranced after only a few words from the man. 

Those eyes of his tracked your every move as you brought the cigarette to your lips. You tried with every fiber of your being not to be affected by this strangely intimate ripple of time you’ve just stepped into. To not let your thoughts drift to the fact that those same lips were just where yours are currently as you inhale acrid smoke.

You don’t feel all that successful.

“Camels. That’s surprising.” You exhale, flicking the ash as casually as one could in this scenario. You prayed Ginger wouldn’t notice his absence any time soon. Something resembling greed regarding Crash’s attention sinking its claws into you.

“Hm…how so.” He took it back from your grasp, the action strikingly gentle. 

“All you rough boys out here smoke Reds. Hell, you even look like one of those Marlboro cowboys in the ads.” 

“Should I be flattered?”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know about all the girls around here just positively gushing over you. You don’t strike me as the naive type.” 

“You know cause you one of em’?”

That shut you right up. Though only for a second. If he could feel the growing heat radiating from your cheeks he made no sign of it.

“Careful now, wouldn’t wanna sound too cocky.” You sassed, looking past him at the partygoers. His gaze felt penetrating and you couldn’t figure out for the life of you where this sudden interest to talk to you came from. There was no chance in hell of entertaining a single thing with Crash. Ginger would skin you alive for even catching you like this, as plain of an encounter as it was. This was more trouble than it’d ever be worth. 

But there was not a fathomable force that could seem to pull you away. 

“You’re different. Than the others I mean. You stand out.” Was what clambered from your mouth as you looked back at him. 

It was true despite its clumsy admittance. Even though you’d never said so much as a hello to each other Crash was different. He never bothered you. Never jumped at the chance to use you like some piece of meat. You wouldn’t say he went as far to outright show blatant respect, but he gave you space to exist unlike anyone else had. 

He didn’t so much as flinch at the statement. 

“Could say the same about you.” That alone had a cold shock similar to that of an ice bath encasing your entire being. It was a casual reply, but between the lines, you knew what he was saying. 

He saw you. 

No one ever saw you. You were a nobody. Just a warm vessel to sacrifice to the selfish woes of pigs disguised as men. You weren’t meant to have thoughts or feelings. Likes or dislikes. You were just there. 

Yet he noticed you regardless and you hadn’t ever brought attention to the possibility that he could in the first place.

You didn’t know something so small and noncommittal could make the sting of saline burn at the backs of your eyes. You felt like every existing nerve within you had been exposed but when continuing to stare at him, he held no judgment. That brokenness that took home in his stare was replaced by something else. A curiosity. 

Much akin to the same type you let fester for him over these past several months. 

The smoldering cigarette dangled from his lips, though you didn’t dare let yourself catch a glimpse, as a large hand hesitantly reached towards your face. The rough pad of his thumb scarcely graced the fragile skin beneath your eye to brace a blooming tear. 

The simple touch was indescribable. Something you never thought you could know for yourself. 

All you could think about was how warm he was.

“Birdy! Where the hell are you, girl? Get over here!” Came Ginger’s sudden drunken hollering, the moment doused in the shroud of reality as you all but jumped away. Crash’s arm stayed frozen in mid-air, his once prodding stare almost muted in agitation at the Crusader’s crude interruption. 

You shakily wiped at any reminisce of emotion, fiddling with your hair as if you’d been caught doing something more than just simply talking. Guilt and fear bore onto your shoulders like a burdensome cloak in record time. You needed to go before Ginger got too antsy. 

Looking back up at Crash, you were met with that same indifference as if the moment was just some figment of your imagination. Stewing in the sudden change would only lead to unnecessary embarrassment so all you could do was utter a quick ‘bye’ as you stumbled off towards the bonfire, heart racing something worrisome. Off to where you’d be reduced back to feeling like the piece of nothing you always were. 

It took all the willpower in you to ignore the lingering burn of the lost man’s stare and keep on toward everything you’d come to detest in your life. 

[shunin-gumis]

Nagi Birthday (2024) SSR Story

Best Wishes Snap

Happy Happy Day! (2nd part)

The bee in Nagi's signature is both because it's one of his favorite emojis, as well as the fact the "Hachi" in Hachinoya can mean bee! The 4-leaf clover is also a significant symbol to Nagi.

Nagi: My cheeks feel warm...

Nagi: The party is long over, yet my heart is still pounding...

Ushio: Hachinoya-san.

Nagi: Ushio? And...

Yukikaze: Are you alright? You've been crying for quite a bit now.

Ushio: Seeing you continue your act even as the tears flowed out from under your zombie mask was pretty entertaining to watch.

Yukikaze: Indeed, Nagi is very talented.

Yukikaze: But you should replenish all those fluids you lost. Here's some decaffeinated rooibos tea and a hand towel.

Nagi: Wow... this is like some top-notch after care you'd receive from from one of those massage places.... Not that I've ever been to one.

Chihiro: Nagipeko~ Were you still crying? And wait, is that large garbage bag you're holding filled to the brim with used tissues??

Nagi: Oh, yeah, Chief prepared it for me.

Ushio: Ugh.... that's way too much snot for me to handle, gross.

Yukikaze: Tears of happiness are a beautiful thing indeed. But of course, tears that come from sadness are beautiful as well.

Ushio: That's not what I was getting at... well, it's fine.

Ushio: Hachinoya-san, mind if I get this over with real quick? If we don't get you to bed soon you might just use up all of Hama House's tissues.

Nagi: ? What is it?

Ushio: Ha.... You really are dense. I'm the one who got selected by the "Random Present System" to give you a present.

Nagi: Wow.... I really did get one....

Ushio: Isn't that obvious? Here, the present I got you is this apron.

Ushio: Your work ends up getting you dirty all the time right? That's why I carefully picked out one that's anti-bacterial. It's water-resistant too.

Ushio: Well, Happy Birthday.... Um, I hope it's a good year ahead for you.

Nagi: Ushio... you took the time to select a gift for someone like me....

Ushio: Ugh! Don't start sobbing on me now, seriously!

Nagi: Nn!!

Chihiro: C'mon, don't cry, it's time to smile, smile~

Nagi: You're right.... Gotta take deep breaths....

Nagi: Thank you for the present Ushio. Thank you for the cake too, it was super tasty. So much so I wish I could cut it into 365 tiny pieces and have them every day of the year.

Ushio: Hmph....

Ushio: Seriously, why am I in charge of baking the cakes? Aren't you guys working a high school student way too hard? I'm super busy y'know?

Nagi: It's not just any cake that everyone wants, it's precisely because it's a cake you made that everyone wants it. Let me know whenever you're busy, if there's anything I can help you with, I'll do it.

Ushio: Huh... No no, there's no need for that.

Nagi: But everyone would be sad if you couldn't bake cakes because you were too busy... Of course, I'd be sad too.

Ushio: Oh fine! I'll make sure I do it!

Nagi: Is that so? I'm relieved then.

Chihiro: Ah! He finally smiled! Snapping that Nagipeko real quick~!

Nagi: Ah.

Chihiro: Happy Nagi day! Yay~

Ushio: Don't upload that on dazzle, got it? I don't want my face on social media.

Ushio: Besides, the birthday boy isn't even in the frame.

Chihiro: It's all good~ We'll just keep snappin' and snappin' till we get it right~! C'mon squeeze in tight~

Nagi: Uh.... it's warm....

Yukikaze: Everyone, come over here, let's take a photo together.

Momiji: Coming~

Nagi: ...

Nagi: A place filled with warmth and kindness.... Just a year ago, I couldn't even imagine I'd have a place where I belong.

Nagi: I want to treasure this happiness that's sure to continue even after my birthday is over.

Part 1

[arroganceisherfavoritecolor]

A night in Reno

✧･ﾟ: * Pilot and Jack find themselves in a whorehouse, but Pilot ends up wanting the bartender instead...

warnings: absolutely filthy smut, kinda cheating, mentions of drugs

It was a slow night at the Dan. D. Fine, as always. You stood at the bar, fixing up the broken machines and washing the dirty cups. Most of the time, the only man you'd see was either a gross old fuck or a young virgin. There was also Mauzner, a nasty piece of shit nympho. As you shined up the bottles sitting on the shelf, you saw a pair of guys walk in. One was decked out in biker clothes and had a weird haircut. The other was dressed more normal, was cuter, and he wore a green visor. To put it simple, they didn't seem like the usual type to come into a whorehouse. The cute one glanced at you, making eye contact. You broke it, trying to look like you were busy and not awkward.

The boss lady called out all the girls from behind the curtain. They were decked out in lingerie and weird sexual accessories. You were cool with them, sliding them drinks throughout the night to help them through their shift. They all lined up, one by one.

The two guys sat on the couch with Mauzner, marveling at the beautiful women before them. Mauzner had his pick first, going with Lois who was dressed as a bar-maiden. Then the biker dude had his pick second. He ended up with Sophie, who was wearing a cowboy costume. And then there was the visor guy. He scanned the ladies, one by one. "Uh...I think im cool off that." He laughed nervously, looking at the boss lady. She rolled her eyes, motioning the girls to go back to their rooms. Now, it was just you and him.

He sat on the soft velvet couch for a moment, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket. You glanced at him a few times, it seemed as though he was looking for something. He got up and walked towards the bar. You kept trying to look occupied, a little bit nervous to talk to him. "Hey, uh, you got a light?" he asked, a grin plastered on his face. You pulled one out from the cabinet, handing it to him. He lit the cig, inhaling deeply. "Y'know, I don't usually smoke cigs. Im a lot more of a weed typa' guy." You giggled, you could tell he was high out of his mind. "So then why not smoke a blunt?" you asked, still washing the dishes. "Smoked my last one right before we got here. Shoulda' saved it." He ran his fingers through his brown, dirty looking hair. You couldn't help but stare at him, he was just so... cute. "Whats tha matter? Somethin on my face?" he asked, giggling. "Nah, just looking."

You caught his name about 30 minutes into the conversation. His name was Pilot. He told you the whole story as to why that was his name, which you found quite interesting. You talked about everything and nothing, his life back in Vegas and your life here in Reno. You had been itching to ask him if he was in a relationship or something, but you didnt wanna come off too strong. "So, you got a little boyfriend or what?" he asked, eyeing you up and down. You felt flattered by this sudden question. "Nah, I'm single as can be" you giggled. "Really? Im surprised. A cute thing like you should have guys lined up across the block" he said, taking puffs off of the cigarette. "Well, how about you? Got a girl back in Vegas or what?" you asked, genuinely curious to know. "Well...it's complicated." Pilot laughed, his sleepy eyes shutting and his cat-like mouth curling up. "Hm, you guys are going nice 'nd steady or what?" Pilot grins. "Well... I was tellin' my buddy Jack that if banging was an island in the Caribbean, me and her are stuck in traffic in Jersey." This made you laugh. Although Pilot was heavily intoxicated, he was still charming. "She doesn't make you nut? Or are you sexually confused." You tilted your head to the side, looking Pilot in the eyes. He grinned. "Yeah..hell nah." He put out the cigarette, throwing it into the little ashtray beside him. "Maybe you could help me out with that?" he asked, licking his lips and flashing a toothy grin. You blushed, flabbergasted at his boldness. "My apartments right above this building, wanna spend the night?" you asked. Pilot followed you up to the apartment.

As soon as you shut the door, he launched himself towards you. He grabbed your face, kissing you passionately. The both of you stumbled into your room, closing and locking the door. Pilot laid down on the bed, watching as you straddled him. His hands grabbed at your hips, grinding you on his boner. You tore off the silly visor he wore, along with his shirt and jacket as you threw it off to the side. With the visor gone, it made it easier to kiss him. You kissed all the way down his neck, leaving hickeys. "Ah, fuck [Name]." Pilot had never been handheld in such a manner, it was so new to him. He helped pull off all your clothes, leaving you in just lacey pink panties. He gawked at your body, completely bare just for him. You kissed down his abs and along his mountain trail. You got all the way down to his pants, looking up at him with puppy eyes. Your ass was in the air, back arched. Pilot couldn't believe the sight before him. He had imagined something just like this the moment he laid eyes on you. You unbuckled his belt and pulled off his boxers. His dick sprang out, rock hard and damn near pulsating. You spit on the tip, wanting Pilot to beg for anything more. "[Name], please don't tease. It hurts" Pilot whined, his head thrown back. "Mmm tell me what you want me to do, baby." You kissed all along his dick, from the balls up to the shaft. "Just..just like that." Pilot was on cloud nine. You took all 7 inches in your mouth, deepthroating his cock. Tears formed in your eyes. Pilot reached his hand down to wipe them off, only making you more wet. Your head bobbed up and down on his dick. "Fuck.. fuck, fuck [Name]." You took it out of your mouth, wanting him to cum on your face. He came with a loud groan, painting your face. You stuck your tongue out, catching some in your mouth. You sat up and straddled him again, your face smeared in his jizz. Pilots eyes rolled back, the sight too much to handle. "Gonna make you cum all over again, yeah baby?" you asked, wiping the cum off and licking your finger. "Wanna make you feel good too, [Name]." He grabbed your hips again, guiding them more towards his face.

You hovered your pussy over Pilots face. "Pilot, I don't wanna suffocate you." you giggled nervously. Pilot didn't listen to you, instead grabbing your ass and forcing you down. You moaned, feeling his tongue flick your clit. You began to grind on his face, writhing and groaning at the feeling. It was a sensation you hadn't ever experienced. You grabbed his dick, stroking it as his tongue went in and out of you. Pilot groaned against your pussy. The vibrations of his voice almost made you cum, grinding even harder. Suddenly, Pilot stopped. You whined, the feeling of pleasure being ripped away almost painful. "Why, why'd you stop?" you asked in between pants. "Cant let you cum just yet baby, wanna see that pretty pussy cum all over my dick." Pilot moved you towards his cock, standing straight up from how hard it was. He lowered you down onto it until it was all the way in. You moaned, throwing your head back. Pilots thick cock was stretching you out so good, you didn't know if you could handle the whole thing. You began bouncing up and down, hands at your sides for balance. Pilots hands went from your hips, to your tiddies. He put your left nipple in his mouth, while he fondled the right. "Oh, fuck me Pilot." You began slowing down, your legs tired from bouncing. Pilot sat up and grabbed you at the sides. He began to use you like a fleshlight, bouncing you up and down. His big blue eyes gazed into yours as he fucked you. "Youre all mine now. Got that?" he said. "Yes, yes Pilot. All yours." At this point, you were delirious. As long as Pilot kept fucking you like this, you'd agree to anything he'd say. "Who's this pussy belong to? Huh?" he asked, slapping your ass. "You.. I'm yours.. I'm- I-" you couldn't think, you couldn't talk. You came violently on his dick, your juices squirting all over his lap. "Fuck, fuck yeah baby. Squirt all over this dick." Now, you were limp. You could barely sit up, the feeling in your legs long lost. Pilot was thrusting up into you, chasing his release. All you could mutter was a string of curse words, eyes rolled into the back of your head. "Shit shit shit Name." You could feel cum fill up your insides, warming you up. The thought of getting pregnant suddenly crossed your mind. You didn't care, through. The only thing you cared about in this moment was Pilot nutting all up in you. You fell forward onto him, his arms wrapping around your torso. You both laid there, trying to catch some breath. Pilot looked down at you and started giggling. "Damn, that was nice." You snuggled into him, drawing little circles on his chest. "Am I better than your girl?" you asked, looking up at him. "Nah, cus you're my girl." Pilot kissed the top of your head, watching blush creep across your face. "Goodnight, baby." you shut your eyes and drifted off to sleep. "Goodnight, [Name]." Pilot thought of what would become of this. He thought of maybe inviting you to tag along with them on their journey to Seattle. That was tomorrows problem. Right now, Pilot was focused on one thing: his new girl.

(wow i didnt mean for this to be so long whoops :3 but here ya go Highway 2002 fans! hope u like)

[pikmininaplane]

Fine whatever nobody asked but here’s how I would rewrite SAO if I had a say in the matter

Aincrad:

– Have the arc be its own season. Let it last the whole 24 episodes!!

– Have some more early Aincrad/pre-beater episodes showing Kirito already struggling to fit in with the others before the reveal. Underline how the whole beater thing is a way for him to both reinforce the others’ cohesion and go do his own thing no matter how detrimental it is to him. Hell, the Re: Aincrad manga has a few chapters about both a floor 1 experience and another first meeting with Asuna and it's really good!

– See the side stories from Kirito’s POV. Don’t switch to Silica’s and Liz’s POVs at random, have Kirito hear about them and seek them out or smth. Also please stop making all the girls have a crush on Kirito... maybe leave that to either Sachi or Liz? And Asuna ofc

– Make the characters from the side stories appear again!!! Have the leader of the Moonlit Black Cats survive, show up again later and have Kirito deal with it! Show Kirito returning to Liz to take care of his weapons and armor! Have Silica appear during the slice of life portion? Idk just spitballing ideas. Also Agil side story I'm so serious why does he get so little screentime

– Show the stuff that's mentioned in later arcs too! Have an episode/part of an episode dedicated to that expedition where they neutralized the Laughing Coffin players so it's more impactful when it's mentioned again in Phantom Bullet! Have Yuna and Eiji (from the movie) show up in the background or in minor scenes! The world is your oyster!

– Show Kirito’s time in the KoB and how he struggles to fit in with such a massive structured guild and would much rather do his own thing. Maybe have a fun dynamic with Asuna being above him hierarchically?

– Make the slice of life cabin part longer and have Yui show up at the very beginning of it. Have them go on nice fun adventures to give the viewer time to get attached to her and eventually get maximum heartbreak

– Setup the Heathcliff reveal more. Have Kirito notice more and more inconsistencies during his time in the KoB. Have people around the game whisper rumors about how his health bar never goes too low and how he might be a cheater. Have Asuna praise him, too – make him an important figure to her before the myth gets falsified

– I’m fine with the duel being the way it is just give it its own episode

Fairy Dance:

– Also have the arc be its own season!!

– Ok hear me out. I actually think the Kirito & Suguha plotline could work if you, y'know, removed the incest. Show that the two of them used to be close before SAO happened, but that two years of absence drove them apart – maybe have kendo be a thing they used to do together, but now Kirito's still in rehab and too weak physically to resume. Show that Suguha got into ALO because she wanted to understand what had driven Kirito to VRMMOs, in an attempt to get closer to him despite everything. Have them meet in the virtual world and have Leafa find an actual friend in Kirito, someone she can finally confide in about her brother (and maybe other stuff, too). Have the details get more and more precise until Kirito finally realises who she is and doesn't dare tell her the truth but distanciates himself from her nonetheless. Have Suguha feel abandoned by her one friend, only to find out that he's actually her brother and feel shocked and betrayed. Make them reconcile!! The identity shenanigans can work it doesn't have to be gross

– Give that boy trauma!! Show that despite there being a chance that he will find Asuna in ALO, he is legit scared of diving back into VR and getting stuck in another world again. Show that the other world feels alien in a whole new way, now that his real body is weak and his virtual body feels different. Maybe touch on the horror of controlling another body than yours and being unable to move your real body a bit? As a treat?

– Build That World! ALO has such an interesting setting, with its nine races and references to Norse mythology, but we only ever get to see three of them (Cait Siths, Sylphs and Salamanders) in this arc and one of them is overtly The Bad One. Switch it up!! Show more of them!! Get into the geopolitics of it all!! I genuinely cannot believe that there isn't a single major Pooka character in the entire show. Why create nine races if you don't show them off?

– Actually here's my pitch for a fully reworked plot: Kirito arrives in this new world, reunites with Yui etc, and drops directly in Alne. After finding Leafa and getting explanations from her, he goes to conquer Yggdrasil right away, but gets fucked up by the creatures inside and victory seems impossible. He then remembers something: Agil, the one person from SAO that he managed to find in real life (along with comatose Asuna), told him he could find him in the game if he needed help.

Kirito and Leafa therefore travel to the capital of the Gnomes to find Agil, and accidentally get involved in some kind of local conflict (maybe the Gnomes and Spriggans don't get along so well and he unknowingly steps into a wasps' nest?), but manage to resolve it with Agil's help and happen to get in good terms with the Gnome leader.

Agil then tells them that he heard some of Kirito's old allies have started playing ALO, too, but they're all members of different races, and suddenly their quest becomes a journey throughout the map to visit the different nations and find all of their old friends. They go and find Silica, Liz, and Klein in their respective nations, and, on their way, meet new allies in the other nations, befriending new (or returning?*) Imp, Pooka and Undine characters. Finding his old friends allows Kirito to get a new perspective on full diving – they all returned to it despite their trauma for a variety of reasons, but ultimately it was healing for them, and it can be for him too.

They also keep accidentally (or voluntarily) getting their nose into the other nations' business (acting as an intermediary for those of them that are in conflict, finding lost reliques and settling old feuds, solving interpersonal problems) and getting the various leaders' support, until finally they decide to try taking on Yggdrasil again, this time with all the races' combined support, making it a game-wide event.

Same thing as the original from here on out, Kirito finds out the quest wasn't supposed to be doable but still gets past the door, he meets up with Asuna, they defeat the villain, get the seed, happy ending!

– Speaking of Asuna, screw making her a damsel in distress. Instead of being held captive in a cage and abused by her fiance, have her stuck in a nightmare of her own. She's getting experimented on in her sleep, and that reflects in the game as, idk, some kind of unending series of trials and enemies that she has to go through everyday. She's still stuck and unable to contact people, but at least she's active and she keeps having cool fights! Also, no tentacles, by god no tentacles

– Her fiance can still be a creep but maybe dial back the sexual abuser thing and dial up the mad scientist aspect instead. He can still be possessive whatever. Oh, and move the wedding deadline to like a month away or something, just so the plot has more room to breathe

Phantom Bullet:

– I don't actually think I'd change that much about this arc? I actually think it's the best arc in the series. I mean the BoB could hypothetically be made longer, with more enemies and all, but I don't really think that's necessary.

(– Actually scratch that make Kirito transfem. Slash half joking :))

Calibur:

– Just edit it out? It doesn't really add much to the plot. All it does is give Kirito Excaliber and introduce Sinon's ALO avatar, so uh. Not much to say

Mother's Rosario:

– I also don't think I'd change that much about it because damn this arc made me cry buckets. Maybe use the additional episodes from deleting Calibur to flesh out the other Sleeping Knights, outside of Yuuki and Siune? Also have the whole gang show up to hold back that one guild, not just Kirito and Klein, what on earth were they doing back then

– Wait actually. Don't make Asuna a healer. I'll never understand why Asuna was turned into a healer when she was literally a skilled swordswoman in SAO. Have her fight in the front!! Make a cool duo with Yuuki, drawing direct parallels to when she fought by Kirito's side!! She Would Not be an Undine I'll tell you that much

[transgamerthoughts]

a night at poe's masquerade

Last night I made a quick tweet about how I think Persona games (particular from Persona 3 onwards) tend to be fundamentally conservative games. In worlds filled with magic powers, shadow selves, and literal gods there's an understanding that many of the most villainous people you can know are folks in positions of social/political power who weaponize their status in order to prey on those beneath them. This is a particular focus of Persona 5 but it extends even back to back to a game like Persona 2 and characters like Tatsuzou Sudou. Although these games acknowledge the social structures that lead to particularly vicious kinds of abuse, there is tendency for our protagonist to then fold themselves into those power structures. In games that focus less on real-life political allegory, there's still pattern of protagonists eventually accepting the societal roles that they're initial chafing against. It's a very common occurrence in the series. clockwork!

Persona 4 is the chief culprit here. Yukiko struggles with the idea that her presumed inheritance of the Amagi Inn is an imposition on her life but makes peace with that fact and eventually prepares herself for that role. Chie confronts Adachi, shocked that anyone who chose to be a police officer would do so for selfish reasons or betray the ideal image she holds of that job. Though confronted with the ways in which the system enabled Adachi's murders, she ultimately decided that she wants to become a police officer. Just as some examples. there's more. it's a fraught game in many ways

(I'm not gonna talk about Naoto. That's a minefield. as a trans critic people ask what I think about Naoto quite often. my answer is I like Naoto quite a bit and while I appreciate the queer read I don't need her story to be actually about transness. my tongue in cheek deep position here is that I think she's the damn coolest thing in the Dancing All Night opening movie. absolute fire!)

Persona fans are totally reasonable human beings. by which I mean that they might be the most electric and fuckin' absurd fandom I've ever encountered. While some people agreed with my read of the series, many others swarmed in. Which is fine enough. That's just what happens when you're visible on Twitter. I don't really have an interest in outlining the series in gross detail although, contrary to many accusations, I have played all the mainline games. One thing that can never be hurled my way is a suggestion that I don't play videos games. This criticism doesn't arise out of nowhere though I admit I didn't exactly expect it to become a trending topic floating in the "For You" tab. I was tweeting before bed.

Lesson learned! this fandom is wild! So it goes!

I've been thinking about people's responses and I want to venture into fraught territory to talk about a particularly bad habit I see from many fans. Which I think can be extended to things like ongoing debates about localization as much as they can apply to this little tempest in a teapot. Which is that I've grown somewhat concerned with he ways in which RPG fans (intentionally or not) exoticize Japan as a means to defend their favorite games from critique. It's kinda bad!

and I'm gonna risk a ramble exploring the topic… and I wonder how tumblr in 2024 will compare in reaction to hellscape of twitter

Something you often encounter in these discussions is an implication (sometimes a direct suggestion) that it is impossible to really engage with Japanese media as a westerner. That there's too many layers of nuance and too many centuries of ingrained tradition for anyone who has not engaged in lengthy study on the topic to penetrate. Often, this is framed as a desire to simply put things in cultural contexts. respect it and give due seriousness! Which is fine. I absolutely think if you wanna talk about something like the portrayal of the Japanese justice system in Judgement, it probably helps to… y'know… know details about the Japanese justice system. If you want to talk about how a game approaches gender, an understanding of certain social mores is important. No one debates this; it's important to understand art as arising from specific material conditions and places.

This is not really the approach people take however. Instead there is an insistence that the cultural difference between Japan and western nations is essentially insurmountable. Which has some bad implications. I think people are well meaning when they're like "hey, you gotta watch this YouTuber talk about Shintoism and JRPG boss fights for over an hour" but it comes at the cost of painting the culture as something of a puzzle to solve. and make no mistake: I'm glad anyone is doing the work but there's a bit of strangeness at play when folks are like "well you're American" and then tell me to watch criticism also made by Americans. especially since I do have a educational background that includes the study of world religions. i've studied plenty of this! and it's not impossible for me to have grasped.

the world is beautiful and nuanced and specific and full of vibrancies. but these things are not so singular that we can't connect with them or come to know them. and those nuances and specifics and vibrances don't create a protective ward around works. if anything, they're invitations to explore something new. if I walk away from Persona with a position that you don't agree with I promise that it's not something that's happened in haste. It used to be my job to think about games. and I've thought about Persona a lot! it's not inaccesible.

When we start to paint a culture as being particularly foreign we inherently exoticize it. We drape a degree of mystery over it which implies there is no universal connections found in art. Of course the concept of "police" is different in Japan to some extent as is the expectations that go into inheriting a family business. yes, the social nuances of a classroom differ. But Japan is not so alien to the western critic that we can't look at popular fiction and spot patterns. I certain don't need a 17 anime consumer to write me an essay on honne and tatemae or whatever in order to understand what's going on in the Midnight Channel. It's an easily observable truth that Persona often identifies issues within Japan society while also (particularly in Persona 5's case) concluding that these problems are not a consequence of specific power structures but rather moral failings of certain bad individuals. That's the text. Even when it wants to suggest otherwise.

Here's a little snippet from Persona 5. On face value, it seems to contradict what I'm saying. "Harper, how can you say that it only cares about individuals when it outright says that society itself needs to be addressed!?" DO YOU EVEN PLAY THESE GAMES YOU BITCH?! The answer is that the game does not have a model or idea of what it means to change society except vaguely to inspire people to more individual action. be nicer. stand up for yourself, speak your truth, do things for your own reasons. which has a radical element to it in the context to be sure but we've spent a huge portion of the game seeing how the abuse of power, particularly power placed in certain positions and social strata

a change of mindset is good but… is that sufficient? I'm not entirely convinced. not if this game want to truly deliver on everything it has explored. (side note, a lot of folks were like "why are you focusing on p5 so much here?" and the answer is that it's recent, representative of the series' values from the last decade or so, and because I'm a tired adult in their 30s who has stuff to do and isn't obligated to make a 300 tweet long thread breaking down multiple scripts. if you want me to do that labor, you better pay me for my time. otherwise I don't care to appease fan who have no plans of truly entertaining what I'd do anyway. no breakdown I do could please them)

but you fight Yaldabaoth Harper! You kill the collective gestalt representative of the status quo!. okay sure but the metaphorical battle falters as the game ultimately imagines many of our heroes (for instance Makoto, who also decides to become a cop even after her sister leaves the profession to become a defense attorney) are content to slide into the power structures as they exist. they've simply become "good apples" in the same basket that held the bad ones What does it matter if you kill the metaphor when you don't carry through elsewhere? It's not simply some vague human desire to be exploited that created the various monstrous villains we face throughout the game. There's real material circumstances, systems and long-held powers that gave them the carte blanche that enabled their abuses! Be they financial, political, or even sexual.

We might layer nuances on top of this of course. Notions of reticence to change or valuing of tradition, attitudes towards elders. But when we do so it's important be careful. When fans imply impenetrabilities in the works by virtue of cultural difference, there's a risk of veering into a kind of Orientalism. One which mystifies the culture and turns it into a kind of "other." Distant, strange. This sometimes comes paired with a kind of infantilization of creators but that's a different though similarly fraught topic that I think is particularly best left in the hands of the creators themselves. I'm not the person to talk about that!

Nevertheless, a frustrating part of the response to my tweet today has been a rush to say "This work functions that makes it necessarily elide your ability to critique it."

I'll be an ass and generalize. It's mostly people with Persona avatars making this suggest. That Persona, as a Japanese work, is imbued with an ineffable quality that magically allows it to side-step what's ultimately a pretty timid conclusion. Many of these folks are younger players, self-identified as such in profiles, who clearly have a deep connection to the series. It means something to them. But I'd rather they simply say "hey, I found this thing particularly moving at an important moment in my life" rather than conjure an impassable ocean between myself (or really anyone) and the work in the event they find flaws.

Otherwise, you just get this:

Stories are not merely about what happens on the journey. The destination does matter. It means something when the king grabs his shining sword and fights off the orc invaders or whatever. A value system is suggested Similarly, it does means something when Chie becomes a cop. (This is just a shorthand example mind you! But you hopefully get the idea!)

I don't think games or any work of art need us to defend them. The trap of fandom is that you often turn to any possible means to justify what you love. For Persona, a series which does have the decency to explore cultural issues, that same cultural specificity is often weaponize by fans (largely western fans even!) to deflect certain problems. This process inadvertently portrays that culture as a mystery, a shrouded thing that we cannot ever criticize. It's one thing to dig into some of those contextual specifics but it's another all-together to imply these specifics provide a mean to abrogate certain analyses. and I think navigating the line between due deference and something deeper and stranger seems to be something many of the fans reacting to me... have not managed. I had a peer talk to me about this situation and their feeling was that the animated members of the fandom that were coming at me, many of whom are self-identified as young and western, were kinda treating Japan like it was a land of elves. which it's not! it is a place on Earth and yes we need to take strides to understand and respect certain specificities... but we can't mystify an entire people. especially if the purpose is to turn those people and their culture into a shield. a means to justify and validate the specialness you see in a franchise.

I call Persona conservative because it cannot imagine a world in any other shape that what we have right now. God dies but nothing actually changes. I don't think it's enough to say "well, they defeated the god! and they needed the collective strength of society to do it! people did change because without that change of heart, the heroes wouldn't have the magical juice to fight the Kabbalah monster!" to toss Makoto's words back at the series: victory against a single god is meaningless if the true enemy is society.

If you can't show me what that grand spiritual change means for society, then I think you've kinda failed. you've certainly failed if the conclusion is that the world after that change is functionally the same and it doesn't really matter to me if "they talk about this in Strikers or whatever" because you can't offload your thematic snarls to side games. if the main stories you tell can't resolve this tension, that's a problem. these are often very beautiful games. they certainly have amazing structure and systems. but I don't think it's controversial to say they often hedge their bets at the end. and there's no impenetrable cultural wall surrounding the games that leaves the criticism off the table.

that's just What Happens. and it's fine for us to acknowledge flaws in even in things that contain beauty or meant something to us

really. it's fine.

[thegamingcatmom]

Hi,👋

It's the anon that dropped the indirect kiss idea

And might I say go right on ahead for the use, better to see it in action then have it sit in my mind collecting dust lol

(Glad to have made your day with the idea😊 I can think of no one better to use the idea, love what you've already done with it so far, can just imagine tanya stealing a strawberry trying to do seductive flirting or whatever but then its like internally:god this is disgusting and MC going 😟 my strawberry I was saving that)

I had another thought that suddenly just dropped of Kate shenanigans

Instead of cuddling for warmth in a cold environment 👀 reverse it, looking for cold in a way too hot room.

Kate struck with an idea: starts blasting the heat then choosing to sit beside MC and whilst MC sitting on couch starts getting dozy from the sudden warmth her head lulls onto Kate's shoulder and Kate y'know is grinning from this cause it's like a cat deciding to sit in your lap and Tanya starts to get upset,

BUT THEN MC moves onto Kate's lap and starts cuddling into her whilst dozing off cause she's just so cold, and it's so nice, like finding a cold spot on your pillow for your hand,

And Kate? Looks like she's won the jackpot

And tanya seeing this? Furious, unfair, why must the world be so cruel.

And also its like you can't do anything to Kate in this moment cause it's like how a cat suddenly sits on your lap and you are STUCK cat laws you are not allowed to move now, and tanya does not have the heart to move MC.

-📚(if this emoji is not taken) anon :P I will throw more kate shenanigans your way lol

Hellaw again, 📚!

Tysm for letting me make use of your *affectionate* intrusive thoughts. Please, do lemme know when that mind of yours needs some dusting, will ya? 🧹 👉👈

(You´re too kind. 🙏 And YESSS that´s exactly it, LMAO. Tanya trying to flirt, bedroom eyes and all, but failing miserably [something she´s not used to...at all]. And while she´s fighting the urge to puke her guts out because gross, MC´s just there like "why´s this my life", not at all realizing the coven leader just attempted [and failed] to flirt with her. She´s so blissfully unaware her kidnappers got the hots for her, I- 😭)

...Another thought, you say?

Okay, OKAY-

LISTEN-

I was there too. As in, I had a similar idea that came to mind quite a while ago. However, mine wasn´t as...cunning as yours, and I say that with the utmost affection and adoration, believe me. Like, YES to all of that!! Kate using whatever means necessary to get reallll close?? The lil shit-

THAT´S WHAT I´M TALKING ABOUT. 😭🙏

Look, when I started writing The Sisters, I had (and still have) a very clear image of their dynamic with MC:

Cunning daredevils in need of a gentle soul to rein them in.

Or, in other words:

Pubescent teenage boys experiencing their first crush.

(Let´s be real: Kate´s ALWAYS been the tomboy out of them. 😏)

So, yes: Kate manipulating the heating system is DEFO something I can see happening. It´s just so cunning but in such an innocent way, yknow what I´m saying?? Like, let´s be real:

With the power imbalance at play here, the sisters could do a lot worse to MC (Irina´s still contemplating though...). I mean, the worst that´s happened so far was Kate giving our girl a light shove to send her tumbling. (The near wrist-break doesn´t count because it wasn´t intended.) Was it mean af? Yes. Normal people don´t do that. (And the ones who do are just scumbags.) But that shove could have very well sent her flying, had Kate wanted to.

There´s a huge difference between being mean and being cruel, and that´s kinda what I´m trying to convey in my story. We´ll probs see more of their cruel side as well, as we go on. Not necessarily towards MC but, yknow, just a lil reminder now and again that they can, if they want to.

...And also a lil reminder for MC to be a bit more grateful for the lot she involuntarily drew? Perhaps? Mayhaps? (Tanya would feel very pleased about that development indeed.)

...Yeah, probs not. 😅

(Tanya: "But-")

ANYHOW, I digress-

What I meant to say was: Bad guys being not quite so bad when it comes to that ONE person?? Like, they still wanna see this world burn, but they´re gonna make damn sure to get that ONE person first before igniting the fire??? THAT´S WHAT I´M TALKING ABOUT. 😭😭

.

.

.

So ye, I approve of Kate manipulating the heating system just a smidge to achieve her goals. Yep. Defo. 100%. It´s kinda cute, ain´t it? Compared to what she could do instead...

I mean, what´s the alternative here? Setting the house on fire so she can be the one to rescue the damsel in distress and have MC´s overheated body cling to her as if she´s a walking popsicle?

...Come to think of it, I wouldn´t put it past the middle child. Best not give her any ideas. 👀

.

.

.

"And tanya seeing this? Furious, unfair, why must the world be so cruel."

Okay but I love that, LMAO. That´s exactly where Tanya´s mind goes 50% of the time. Like-

Poor thing.

The other 50% is just her thinking about all the different ways she could-

If only MC would let her, god dammit. 😤

(Cruel world alright.)

.

.

.

And yes, very much agree on the cat laws. EVERYONE knows this, right?? Under no circumstances are you to move once a cat deems you worthy enough to be used as a pillow. I mean, what an honor, right??

...Tanya couldn´t care less about that shit, tbh. She despises cats. Hates them with every fibre of her being. They have no business cramping up all her space. Strutting about this place as if they own it. Laughable! This place and everything within belongs to her! She will not sit idly by and watch that hairball lay claim to-

(...I think we hit a sore spot here. 👀)

...You are right about one thing though: She just doesn´t have the heart to move MC. Not when she looks so peaceful, for once. A rare sight indeed.

She´ll get back at her sister, one way or another.

...Later.

...Once she´s managed to avert her gaze from a peacefully sleeping MC.

...

...We´ll probs be here for a while, just saying.

(But also: I sense a truce happening between the wicked duo, don´t you? 😉)

.

.

.

Btw: My idea was more MC getting sick and, yknow, being down with a fever. Her poor body is overheating. And one of the sisters is just...there. And she´s too far gone to realize what she´s doing.

As it stands now, MC would never willingly get close to either of them. So I don´t see her cuddling up to any of them anytime soon.

...Not while she´s in her "right" mind, at least. 😜

.

.

.

But, lemme just say this again, just because:

YOUR KATE IS SO CUNNING I LOVE IT. 😭🤌

Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋💋

As for throwing Kate my way:

...Wait-

O-oh, Kate shenanigans...

I mean-

😭🤌

[cupidscrule]

MESSY. Leon X reader fanfiction.

TW - Noncon, kidnapping, knife play, murder.

About -

You go to the bar alone, Leon's your overprotective boyfriend. Unfortunately you end up with a mouth full of cock from four strangers so Leon has to step in.

You were always a girl who turned heads, whenever you stepped into a room. But that was just along with the perk of having an agent boyfriend, lucky lucky girl. Stunning body, cute face, great personality. And the perfect partner to go with it, man you had it ALL, money, some sort of fame, and love. Only down side was that Leon never and I mean NEVER let you go places alone, geez dude I'm a grown woman and I can't even drive myself to the club? But his protective behavior was kind of cute so I always just let it slide, didn't matter just meant I could show off to all those creeps I'm taken. Which seemed to happen a lot, Leon sits in the back of the bar, I'm up at the front just trying to make talk with my girls until a fat bald man starts trying to flirt with me, they all looked the same. Middle aged unfit unkempt gross probably married men hitting on a girl half his age, honestly it was more pathetic then anything. Plus nothing interesting ever happened, Leon would come up behind me give me a kiss on my neck and give the creep a look and they would leave. Ugh same old story each time, honestly it was getting BORING I love drama and this shit just happens, feels like they don't even want me if they're gonna give up THAT easily..

But that's all besides the point, men in bars are gross creepy pedos, not that I was underage but it just feels creepy when a 50 year old is trying to fuck a 21 year old? Y'know? Just gives me the ick, but this all kinda seemed to fucken change one day. " Leon pleasee- just let me go- no com'on I'll be good- no seriously I can handle myself." I begged Leon to just let me get wasted at my favorite bar alone, I don't know what I'm even thinking honestly I'm just bored and don't want him to be around, don't get me wrong I love love LOVE Leon just sometimes a girls GOTTA be alone? "Hun- no. Ah don't look at me like that- okay- yeah, mhm. Sure. Fine, just- be back soon? Mhm?" He finally says those heavenly words "Sure" it was like a choir of angels started fucking singing, god touched you, the most wonderful word ever fuckin created. A dream that finally came true "AHH THANK YOU !!" I scream out in excitement hugging him tightly, Leon's like 5'11. I'm 5'2, so it's a bit awkward trying to hug him but we make it work? Kinda? Either way it doesn't matter I get to go out alone today!! I put on just a basic outfit, didn't really feel like I was in the mood to get harassed, just a simple black oversized hoodie, obviously from Leon, duh. And a white skirt you could barely see from underneath, giving myself a pat on the back got that one, it was cute, and comfy.

I get into my Tesla, Leon FINALLY bought it, well for himself more but the details don't matter, all that does is I'm driving ALONE. Feeling like a kid on Christmas morning when they see those dinky presents left by "Santa", god the adrenaline.

Carefully pulling out of the driveway and to my favorite place 'jédem lè démen' sounds dumb as fuck but they served cheap shots and played decent music, all that really matters in a drinking place. But damn it was a far drive, almost 40 minutes just to get to one shitty place. But normally it was always worth the time it took, I mean at least I don't have to listen to Leon or anyone else talk, just put on the radio and listen to Brittany Speers what else could a girl want?

"FINALLY" after what felt like YEARS I finally made it, the dim lights , flashing open sign. And random homeless man OD'ing in the corner, a girls dream place. Walking up to open the stained door, the yellowish light now beaming over you feels just like home walking up to sit at the BEST place, also known as the place no one sits cause it's weird. Dead in the center at the bar, there was normally at least a 3 chair gap between you, as it should be honestly. I don't want a greasy old geezer to be rubbing up against me, makes me wanna vomit. "Can I get a bloody Marry?" I ask the bar tender, the place seemed pretty empty only a few people in booths jeez it was like someone told everyone 'AGENT LEON KENNEDYS FUTURE WIFE WILL BE COMING TO THIS SHITHOLE, UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR TEETH KICKED IN DONT COME' I mean not that Leon would actually ever hurt someone, he was a dick but not evil? "Here, $3.23." the bartender handed me, ah yes the holy grail of drinks, cheap ass medicore alcohol. "Hey there cutely" EW, what? I feel a hot breath on my neck, turning my head slightly and looking at the werido, yeah pretty much what I expect, oily gross middle aged men. Hitting on ME. Really thought this wouldn't happen this time but here we are, "I'm not interested sorry" I say passive aggressively, ugh all I want is ONE night in peace. The ugly pig doesn't leave after that though, "awe com'on sweet heart? I could make you feel real good hunny " he says getting a little close to comfort, I grit my teeth. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? "I have a boyfriend, go get your dick wet somewhere else" Yeesh that could've gotten me killed but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do-? After all that I feel like it's over, I mean no one in the bar noticed what was going on so-? "Whatever" he says walking away, just as I thought, man it's a miracle at this point. I get back to drinking away that scenario for another 40 or so minutes, damn it's late I gotta get goin before Leon starts spam callin me..

I pay my tab and walk out, the cold air hitting my face, it was winter but I wasn't exactly dressed for that. The flickering light from the post, cool breeze running down my legs, cold as fuck, just my luck it seems. Out the corner of my eye I see the pig, not really suspicious I mean a lot of people were calling it a night who was I to judge Mr pedo for going to bed at midnight? "Awe bunny you're already going?" The man says, I can see him walking towards me, it looked like he had a few of his other ugly friends with him. They made a fucken club it seems, loser incel annonams.

"I already said I'm not interested" I say trying to plator on a fake ass smile looking over at the virgin corner. "Well you see short stuff, I don't fucken care? Y'know, so how about we make this nice and easy, me and my guys take you back to my place. No pain, just get in our car and we'll give you the night of your life and tomorrow morning you can go run to your little boyfriends, hm?" He says grinning, walking closer towards me, ew. "In your fucking dream." I say walking away, they didn't have to balls to actually grab me, right? I start walking towards MY car, honestly as fast as I can without running. Till I feel a hand grab my wrist, "mmmm, now what did I say? You're either leaving here was us willingly or we'll have to use some extra measures" one the guys says, a shiver goes up my arm, as I try to pull away. "I don't care just let me go- please - no I don't want to go with you,  fuck LET ME GO-" I blabber out as the put my arms behind my back, before putting a ball gag in my mouth and dragging me to their car, shoving me in the trunk. They duck tape my arms and legs together, damn strong fucking adhesive for some spur of the moment kidnaping, I'm kicking and screaming trying to get out, it's crammed, there's a pipe and some pliars behind me, the fuck are they gonna do with a metal pipe? That's so random.

They drove for awhile, I'm not the strongest but I managed to get to tape off my wrists, tears rolling down my face, I didn't have my phone with me I left it in the car. Fucking idiot you are, after a while the car finally stopped. You heard the doors open, as they busted open the truck, you saw the entrance to a beaten down house. Overgrown plants and moldy looking wood, just your luck, poor creeps had to kidnap and rape you. Lucky fucking girl, they grab me out, putting a knife to my throat genstering for me to get walkin inside, I don't have much of a choice given at any second my throat could be slit so I just do what they say. Leon's otta find me, right? He always told me if god forbid I ever got in scenario where I was taken without him to just do what they said and pay attention to every detail, he always talked to me like a dog. they shove me Into the house, locking the door and one of the men grabbed me and held me from my back. Preventing my arms from moving, "such a cute fucking girl, what's your name love?" The virgin leader says to me, grabbing my chin "none of your fucking business." I say trying to pull my face away, there were 4 people, well less people more dogs. Animals. disgusting little things, he slaps my face, hard. I flinch a little, tears falling from my eyes, one of the other men taking a knife cutting my shirt off, my tits popping out. They start roughing me up, the man from behind starts moving his hand towards my cunt, goin real slow, "please - no - STOP" I shout squirming away, trying to push my arms out of the position they were in, they throw me onto my stomage, hitting the floor, my legs are still tied as I can't move, I hear them unzip their pants, Jesus this is actually happening, this is happening and I can't do anything. "Fuck man, we got so lucky. A nice little Whore all to ourselves." One man says, ripping off my pretty little white skirt, leaving me in my panties and lacy white bra, I feel a pressure be put on my back so I can't move, then a little poke, like a needle "what- ah- what the fuck is that -??" I frantically spit out before feeling my body get heavy, "a little relaxer, can't have you runnin on us?" Leader guy says, flipping me to my back, showing my laced white panties with a bow, cute little lacy white matching bra, almost as if you were dressed an angel, cute isn't it. You couldn't move, felt like dead weight but you were conscience the man from before cuts off your Bra, dragging the knife over your stomage, pushing just hard enough to draw a little bit of blood, you wanna scream but you can't. They untie your legs, the leader man pulls out his hard on, blood running down your stomage the man with a knife cuts off your pretty panties, each man spits on your pussy. Before leader virgin rams into you, hard, rough. I can't scream, just watch and cry, my voice feels to weak, just a silent cry, as the knife man continues cutting me with shallow strikes, the others sit on the couch and jack off to me, the first man finishes inside me, before spreading my legs farther and hitting my swollen pussy, like a fucking pig. Blood dripping from my chest and arms, cum falling out my cunt, I don't remember anything else, just pain. I started to fade out of reality once they brought the pipe out.

I woke up the next day dumped infront of the bar from last night, I remembered everything but at the same time fuck all?

I see the still fresh cuts over my body, they put a white t shirt over me, didn't bother giving me new panties it seems. I shakily walk towards my car, surprisingly it's still there. The bar Is closed, and the sun is rising. A part of me felt like I should go to the police but something was telling me to just drive to Leon. He was safer.

After a horrible 45 minute drive, of me crying my eyes out and whining. I get to our home, parking the car and shakily walking inside where I see Leon sitting on the couch drinking.. tea? What the fuck is going on, "you're finally home." He says in a stern voice before glancing over at me, it takes him a few seconds to process what he's seeing, face going from slightly irratied to shock. Blood stained shirt, and bruises EVERWHERE, "l-leon.." I say in my still shaky voice before stumbling towards him falling into his chest tears staining his black shirt, "what the fuck happened? Who did this? What??" He says holding me, "these ... Guys grabbed me, mm." I quitely say into his chest, grabbing at his shoulders. A complete personality shift when your scared with Leon, you could feel him let go of you. "Did they take you somewhere?" He asks pulling me away from his tits, "yeah" I mumble quitely, "where?" He asks still looking down at me. "630 Connie street W. Moldy house with overgrown plants- I paid attention to the setting like you told me" you say slightly smiling, face still tear stained but hey you were kinda proud of yourself.

"Go a shower, I'll be back later. I know it's scary, but trust me." He says placing me on the cushion next to him, before standing up, giving me a kiss on the head and walking out. Getting into the car and driving off, the fuck was he gonna do? Surely couldn't be that bad but really what was he thinking? You watch him drive off and he wasnt back for another 4 hours.

In that time I already showered, got new clothes, and by that I mean putting another one of Leon's shirts on and a pair of shorts. I was sitting on the couch watching true crime, when the door opens and I see Leon, holding four guys who looked bloody "these the guys?" He says looking towards me. My face drops, "yeah-?" I say after a few seconds, looking at Leon manhandling these massive guys. Jesus Christ, it was a sight to see, he shoots them in the head, one at a time. Then grabs their lifeless corpse and throwing them in his trunk. Driving for another hour and coming back.

When he came back he had a little heart cake a my melody plushie.

"I love you" he says handing you the items hugging you. "Love you too"

[funishment-time]

UTDP/Summer Camp: Miu Iruma

in-game info from v3's UTDP Mode and Danganronpa S: Summer Camp AU, for fanart/fanfic inspiration etc. note that this is a "nice" universe where v3 goes to Hope's Peak and Junko never Junko'd.

this post details Miu Iruma's scenes with others, as well as insights about her that these bits provide. there's a Lot, so jump on down under the cut.

(i hope to do all characters over time, so Hang Tight for your fave!)

> more UTDP/Summer Camp character databases<

NOTE: As stated, in the UTDP/Summer Camp universe, the v3 kids go to Hope's Peak, likely as Class 79. Regardless of their backstories in v3, they are "played straight" in this universe, e.g. Shuichi and Kyoko are both the Ultimate Detectives, etc.

MIU INSIGHTS:

Made the Jabberwock Island VR world in which Summer Camp takes place, alongside Kazuichi, Chihiro, Gekkogahara, Matsuda, etc (Summer Camp, Intro)

In this universe, Miu is the co-inventor of the Hacking Gun, using Byakuya's blueprints (Summer Camp, Miu & Byakuya & Genocide Jack)

Completely unfazed that there are other skilled engineers out there, like Professor Idabashi and whoever made Monokuma. She believes herself the best [if only because of her boobs] (Summer Camp, Usami & Miu & Kazuichi)

"The power of beauty is absolute, y'know." (Summer Camp, Usami & Miu & Kazuichi)

Gets banned from using her WLD inventions in the camp kitchen after hot fried rice lands on her [and turns her on] (Summer Camp, Summer Festival 3)

"Telling ghost stories?...In that case, I'ma tell sex stories! Steamy tales are like kryptonite to ghosts, or so they say!" (Summer Camp, Campfire Intro)

[Re: selling her underwear] "Hell no I won't! No matter how much I'm offered. I'm looking for a guy who would never throw me away." (Summer Camp, With Swimsuits)

MIU & OTHERS:

Confuses Kazuichi on whether or not she wants him to be attracted to her (UTDP, w/ Kazuichi Soda)

However, notices Kazuichi tries to dress well (UTDP, w/ Kazuichi Soda)

Also uses Kazuichi's suggestion to build an invention that lets you invent while sleeping (Summer Camp, Miu's Potential of Talent 2)

Builds a massage function into Keebo so he can help Professor Idabashi relax. Keebo pleads for her to understand he wants just a "normal" back massage function (UTDP, w/ K1-B0)

Wants to "remodel" Teruteru into a cooking machine (UTDP, w/ Hiyoko Saionji and Teruteru Hanamura)

Hiyoko thinks she's "a lowly, gross pig woman." This of course turns Miu on (UTDP, w/ Hiyoko Saionji and Teruteru Hanamura) + (Summer Camp, Potential of Talent 3)

Byakuya's insults also turn Miu on (UTDP, w/ Kaede Akamatsu and Byakuya Togami)

Nickname for Byakuya: "Bigcockoyeah" (Summer Camp, Miu & Byakuya & Genocide Jack) + others

Uses her inventions to help her team with the Sports Festival, but only Celeste is at all grateful (UTDP, Sports Festival)

Though Celeste also ignores Miu at every opportunity (UTDP, Celeste's School Festival 3) + (Summer Camp, Celeste's With Swimsuits) + others

Amazed/embarrassed at Mikan's result on her "Hookup Counter." We are not told what said result was, so use your imagination (UTDP, School Festival 1)

Makes an invention that "will punch you if you say something unfunny and perverted." It hits both her and Teruteru repeatedly (UTDP, School Festival 2)

Makes a ray gun that "teleports your underwear." It does not work on Gundham (UTDP, School Festival 3)

Makes pink Christmas lights that cause you to "kersploosh" if you stare at them long enough. It's her present to "all the lonely bastards who got no one to spend the holidays with" (UTDP, Winter 1)

Wants to give Keebo holiday lights. He refuses, saying it's beneath her and uninspired (UTDP, Winter 2)

Made sex toys for Teruteru in return for a Christmas dinner. Yes, really (UTDP, Winter 3)

Gundham's nickname for her: "the enchantress who seals her evil eyes" (UTDP, Gundham's Sports Festival 3)

Asks Keebo to move in with her, so she can take care of him (UTDP, K1-B0's Winter 1)

Has a "useless invention that can perfectly predict the next day's weather" which interests Yasuhiro, monetarily (UTDP, Yasuhiro's School Festival 3)

Also accuses Yasuhiro of being a peeping tom (Summer Camp, Miu & Yasuhiro)

Nicknames for Kaede: "Kaediot" [as in v3] and "Guy-a-day" (Summer Camp, Miu & Kaede) + others

Hates that Toko actually has friends but she doesn't (Summer Camp, Miu & Kaede)

Nicknames for Toko: "Slowko" and "Brokeko" (Summer Camp, Miu & Kaede) + others

Finds out she and Mikan have similar kinks [specifically, being written on], but Mikan creeps her out (Summer Camp, Miu & Mikan)

Is convinced Montaro is her son and gaslights Monomi/Usami into thinking the same (Summer Camp, Miu & Monomi) + (Summer Camp, Usami & Miu)

Offers to teach Jataro how to make her Eating Popcorn While Lying Down Machine, but he also creeps her out (Summer Camp, Miu & Jataro)

Nickname for Ryoma: "low rider" (Summer Camp, Ryoma & Miu & Monokuma)

Nickname for Mondo: "Hell on Wheels" (Summer Camp, Miu & Mondo & Hiroko)

Makes Mondo's motorcycle silent in the VR world, in return for him remodeling her lab when they leave (Summer Camp, Miu & Mondo & Hiroko)

Can't turn Monomi back into Usami without a detailed description (Summer Camp, Miu & Kazuichi & Monomi)

Doesn't know who made Monokuma, or why (Summer Camp, Miu & Kazuichi & Monomi)

Taka thinks Miu is lazy (Summer Camp, Potential of Talent 1)

Considers making an invention to let her work out while sleeping, to get to Sakura's level (Summer Camp, With Swimsuits)

Has a sleepover with Kaede to test some new While Sleeping inventions (Summer Camp, My Future)

Develops anti-crime tools with Kyoko's advice (Summer Camp, Kyoko's Potential of Talent 2)

Leon says Miu isn't his type; she uses a flamethrower on mosquitos. This is in the same scene and related, somehow (Summer Camp, Leon's Campfire 1)

Gave Chiaki a phone (Summer Camp, Chiaki's With Swimsuits)

Believes Shuichi to be a "card-carrying fap addict" (Summer Camp, Kaede's With Swimsuits)

Tries to make Kirumi do maintenance on the VR world in her stead, but Kirumi refuses (Summer Camp, Kirumi's With Swimsuits)

[scruffyssketchbook]

Y'know, knowing that Eve is like canonically 16 or something and Bow is apparently 23 (according to Toyhou.se) kinda makes my SSEC: Eve in Highschool webcomic REALLY awkward since Eve and Bow are around the same age, plus I intended for them to be a couple.

Honestly, I'm considering putting the Eve in Highschool AU on the chopping block and cancelling it because now I genuinely have no idea how I should let the story go. There were already parts of the story I had to re-do or cut completely (for example, Eve, Bow, and Lilly were gonna sneak into the school over the weekend to try and break into the supposedly haunted gym bathroom, but it was changed as I realized they would be doing juvenile delinquent behavior,) and now that there's been a lot of retcons and changes in Canon SSEC (such as Bow apparently being an adult now,) I've been considering giving up on it because all the Canon SSEC changes are contrasting HEAVILY with my AU to the point that I'm worried that SSEC fans are gonna think that my AU is somehow involved with SSEC lore despite being an AU. It wouldn't be the first time, someone thought my Stupid Short Eevee Legacy AU was an official "remake" of SSEC or something (IT'S NOT CANON)

But at the same time, part of me DOESN'T want to give up on Eve in Highschool because it was a passion project; I genuinely enjoyed coming up with the story and all of the characters involved. Plus, I had a LOT of stuff planned story-wise, including touching down on a few sensitive topics. Plus, I had come up with a really funny scene where Becky threw a party, and Eve and Bow found Izzy and Jed had gotten into Becky's parents' wine cellar and got tipsy (I DON'T SUPPORT UNDERAGE DRINKING! THAT'S ILLGEAL); Eve and Bow would've found Jed and Izzy making out lol. Obviously I wasn't gonna show Izzy and Jed particularly because 1. I can't draw characters making out, and 2. even if I was, that would've been kinda gross. But I would've shown Bow and Eve's grossed out reactions, it would've been super funny.

So like-I don't wanna give up on Eve in Highschool, yet I'm struggling finding a way to continue it, I genuinely don't know what I want to do, or if I should continue it or just cancel it.

Sorry for going on a whole rant like that (and maybe spoiling a bit of Eve in Highschool..? We'll see,) I just don't know what to do for my Eve in Highschool AU anymore.

I don’t see the issue here, just change their ages to be teens 🙃

SSEC Eve was 12 and Bow was around 18, and Bow was bullying her for years

Box 31 Eve is 16, Bow is 23, and the two barely have any type of relationship. (At the moment)

You can edit ages as you see fit. Canon ages don’t matter at all. And just say “This is an AU and has no affiliation to SSEC” somewhere so you can direct people who might be confused. Like- it’s an AU. It doesn’t have to stick to canon rules.

Plus like. Box 31 is not retconning anything in SSEC. SSEC is still here, despite everything.

[ticklish-touch]

are you planning on leaving Tumblr? it seems like a lot of tk artists are starting to jump ship. Would be sad to see you go too.

Ehh I mean. It's with good reason. A few of my friends are (or were ) primarily TK artists that just, didn't find the joy in doing it for a public eye anymore. We have other projects, other goals, other passions that we want to pursue. We've had too many aspects of the tk community soured for us. We've made our own niches and found friends in the community (mainly on Discord) that we've grown comfy enough with that we can share our tk art without worrying if someone's gonna be fuckin weird about it.

I'm not gonna lie, I do plan on eventually migrating away from this blog, at least in terms of posting my art & writing. I'm at a point where, aside from my Backrooms story, I just don't find much joy in posting my work here anymore. I absolutely appreciate my fans and followers with all of my heart, they're the ones that have made this whole journey worth it. But like... 98% of new notifs I get on my work anymore are from bots, ageless blogs, or minors who can't fucking read. Having to block upwards of 10+ blogs per day has just become disheartening. (And we can probably all tell by now that the DA ship has long since sailed, lmao. I literally only use it to post my story anymore and after I finish it, I'm gonna peace outta there too.) I'm not going to delete my blog, I'd like to still interact with tk blogs I enjoy and followers/anons who send questions. And I'm def gonna go back and cull a good majority of old stuff. I just want a fresh start, y'know? Although, I'm not necessarily going to be pulling back from tk art. Over the past couple years I've had a spite festering in me that makes me want to hearken back to my roots a bit and be as shameless with my kink art as I damn well please. With the added bonus of finally being confident & emotionally mature enough now to liberally block any and all gross fuckheads. And... I just can't do that on a site that still flags & shadowbans raunchy artwork. I can't do that in a space that, ever since the first Tumblr Porn Purge and the rise of SFW tickle blogs that demonize more sexually-driven adults, has made kink artists feel like they need to keep themselves repressed. So it's going to be happening on sites like Pillowfort, BlueSky, hell maybe even FurAffinity.

So no, I'm not leaving leaving. I'm just going to be starting a new chapter of my life. 👍

[monster-noises]

not to be basic but 1 and 2 from that meta ask meme?

all the question are on the list for a reason Anon! no need to put yourself down for it v-v 1&2 are Excellent questions I"m happy to answer! now. I Imagine you intended this for Lazarus, But! you were not specific so you will now get a Very long post about Everyone >:3c (and by everyone I mean the main 3 characters I consider 'Bartholomew's Nasty Little Bastards')

First up, of course, we will do Lazarus! 1. What inspired you to create your oc?

The really obvious answer here is Re8, my instant consuming love for it and for Karl, the overwhelming need to like... Participate, somehow, in that world, but not being able to cross the Full self-insert hurdle.. He's basically a very Warped-beyond-recognition version of a self-insert, a guy all his own but in somewhere still very Connected to the Me. But the more like.. in depth stuff, like what inspired Lazarus to Be Who He Is is like.. I love like.. weird Art Gore, Body-As-Art kinda shit, Meaningful and disturbing.. somehow Comforting and he's kinda the perfect vessel for that. I've had the Human Taxidermy Artist thing floating around the back of my mind for a decade or so just Waiting for a place to land and Laz was a golden opportunity v-v.

2.Why does your oc look the way they do? What are your reasons for their appearance? When I was settling Lazarus's design I wanted him to have this appearance of like, a very refined and elegant individual; beautiful in a sort of Severe way, but twist it up ever so slightly so he registers as Uncanny and Gross. Beauty Hiding Filth and all that. (just think about how many Fluids get into that Velvet Ensemble on the daily, it's Not Good.) Like the way his pants cut him and the vertical lines make him just All Leg. And his pallid bloodstained skin which makes him look like a Walking Corpse, hair slicked back with its own grease.. a figure that's bewitching and unsettling to witness also yes, the hair is Both a Me thing and a Bride of Frankenstein thing.

Virgil always feels right coming Second on these things.. 1. Inspiration Virgil is ooooooooooold, he's so Old, virgil is Ancient Virgil is possibly my oldest still-in-use OC, I created him a Looooooong ass time ago. like 2010 Long Ass Time. That is to say I do not know Why she exists.

Okay, Not entirely true. I made her for a comic I was writing with my friend at the time. She was my part of the main villain pair, but I do Not remember how I ended up on Toxicologist prodigy but make it Cowboy (which was always a bit of a misnomer for the vibe but nowadays Especially he's less Johnny Cash more Nickleback) I Think, I Think, what I wanted was to have a character that contrasted the Hardest against my friends main villain? who was very Orderly and Serious and Efficient?? beats me though that was So long ago.. I was also just listening to a Lot of Nickleback-esk music at the time, which may have been an influencing factor lmao

2. Appearance Virgil's appearance is pretty simple to explain, all told! He's a Country Boy/Girl, rowdy and ostentatious, and very secure in her understanding of that part of herself. It's where she comes from, and despite his rocky relationship with home it's who he is, y'know? The brightest (and most dangerous) mind in Toxicology doesn't Have to look exactly how you'd Expect her to look now does she? (Virgil pictured here on the Right)

Now our wonderful little Ulysses vwv)/ 1. Inspiration oh this is an Interesting one!! Ulysses (and Charlie, for that matter) came from 2 distinct places to land where they are now.. From time to time I like to entertain the idea of starting a band and having a musical career of some kind, something that blends my love of folk/bluegrass, prog-rock, and power metal into a loud villainous and exhilarating sound. and a few years back, as I was getting into Bluegrass for the first time, I was struck by a Concept for a Concept Album. It was called The Book of Brother UIysses; the story of a sniveling little priest in the frontier days and his Cursed Book, following him around as he fed townsfolk to whatever entity lived in its pages until he was finally Consumed himself. I toyed with it for a bit and eventually put it back on the shelf until the Musical Fancy struck me once more, untiiiiil I was listening to friends at the table: sangfielle and had both a deep desire to do a Horror-Fantasy Western ttrpg And satisfy my ever-present desire to weasel my way into playing two characters at once.. and I pulled ol' Ulysses off the shelf again and made some.. Additions. This has evolved now into them being just like.. free floating OC's? I don't plan on making a comic out of them, I would Still love an opportunity to play them in a TTRPG setting, but I'm not Banking on it, and hey, who knows, maybe I Will make that album someday, but for now they just kinda amorphously Exist within Something resembling a Narrative in my head after a long and complicated journey...

2. Appearance Similar to Lazarus, I wanted Ulysses to be unsettling, but in a Slightly different way. He's too clean- his all black outfit is never grimy, he is clean shaven his hair perfectly quaffed, with that plastered on grin, under eyes obscured by reflective glasses the vibes are just Immediately Off. To the flip side of that I always wanted him to look kinda.. pathetic. When we see him outside of his Persona as The Keeper of the Book, as just a man that is still Human in many ways; he's just.. small, waifish, behind the glasses his eyes are big and jittery, like a pray animal caught in a snare and still trying to fight its way out..

[bam-monsterhospital]

hang on gotta ramble about the strawhat interpretations in this show and how wonderful they are in the live action. also y'know, put any worries to rest?

zorp

i was so worried at first that they'd only focus on making him a stoic badass and all the wonderful bits about zoro that makes him zoro would be lost

i didn't need to worry

zoro THINKS he's a badass. and yeah sometimes he's right. but it becomes very clear very quickly that this man is a fucking disaster. an absolute mess.

he's KIND.

a dork. sees a lil girl with her tray of horrible riceballs and is like 'omg a child. plz nooooooooo', and then instantly like 180s and is all 'brb cheering up this lil goober, nothing can stop me.'

he PAYS ATTENTION. he notices shit! y'know, that thing that zoro does? that characteristic? yeah! Also nice to see where his mind goes when him and nami try to guess each others' backstories; like her, he assumes the worst in people.

he emotes. he mopes over lack of alcohol like a fuckin idiot, he laughs open and freely often, he smiles, he gets startled, he has a thousand yard stare when he realizes just what kind of bullshit he's involved himself in when it comes to luffy.

hIS DEVOTION TO LUFFY. aaaaaaaaaaa. this is the big thing right? zoro's big turning point and it did not disappoint. He's genuine and raw with his delcaration to luffy, knowing the support luffy needs at that moment (aaaaaah, see? he notices things!) and reassuring/encouraging him. ffffffffuck. Then later on he fuckin checks up on luffy to see if he needs to talk. Will follow him to th ends of the earth into hell and right back out again vibes. it's perfect.

he's entertainingly petty. quick lil word jabs at sanji, unprompted. beautiful.

Loofs

what is there to say? if you don't already know, just watch. This is luffy. this is the best luffy. this is a precious bab personified sunshine. Everything you ever liked about luffy? Here, accounted for, amplified.

Namnams the boss

reminded me why i initially adored nami in the first place.

she's herding cats 24/7

assumes the worst in people, very cynical, is all 'nuuu fuck you y'all are garbage', but then when you blink she's exposing her bleeding heart gooey center, regretting everything about everything.

trying not to care, but cares so fuckin much omg, she's kind. she's so kind.

Usoppppppppppp

oh Ussop. Ussopp. Fantastic.

all of usopp's best traits, TAKEN UP TO 11

KIND

full of life and energy and joy like luffy, backs down and regrets life choices on a daily basis, cARES SO MUCH AAAAAAAAA

can we get a collection of his stories? he's really entertaining. like VERY entertaining, also if you're not paying attention to what he's saying you could easily initially buy what he's selling... until he brings his lies into ridiculous territories xD

excellent at quick thinking. thinks on his feet, fly by the seat of his pants, he'S USOPP.

also. ahem. he's very pretty.

does not want to be in the fight scenes but runs in anyways.

snergle

he's not gross. he's not creepy. he's not a raving misogynist. omg.

it feels like his main reaction to pretty womenz is being completely enamored. like he's just mesmerized by his own idea of women as a fantasy fey being glittering in front of him.

actually charming? WHAT? he knows how to actually be charismatic/charming? TO A WIMMENZ? WHAT IS THIS NOW? WHERE HAS THIS BEEN, ODA? HEY. TAKE. NOTE.

sooooooooo full of smiles and laughs.

wears his heart on his sleeve, ALL emotions out front nothing hidden, nothing held back.

KIND. hmmm, i'm noticing a trend here.

very obviously cares about people.

still an idiot, like, this was a given. i want to make it clear he's not some suave fucker, no, this boy a dorkus who rolled high in luck and smiles and it's been helping a lot.

so emotional. and unlike most media where 'emotional' on a dude looks like rage grump murder hobo badass, here instead it's like a fuckin breath of fresh air. it's not toxic. it's just... genuine? is that the word i'm looking for? hmmm.

it's obvious he cares deeply for luffy. and fuck man, i really miss that for sanji.

i'm sure i had more to say, but i've rambled enough for now.

[natdrinkstea]

tagged by @chiropteracupola and @dxppercxdxver :3 time for you all to judge my taste in books!

rules: list ten books that have stayed with you in some way, don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard - they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you.

putting this under a cut because I hate making long posts. the rules up there say "don't take but a few minutes and don't think too hard" but I don't know how to do Either of those things. this post is Long. you've been warned.

1. is, of course, The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland In A Ship Of Her Own Making by Cat Valente. It's a wonderful, clever story that absolutely ruined the way I view fantasy, devotion, and girlhood at a young age. It's beautiful and magical and devastating AND I LOVE IT!!!!

2. The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater. I post about this series all the time but I never really express how much it means to me? It's about a friendship that's so strong it defies all odds, it's about finding magic in the mundane, it's about being a weird little guy with anxiety who's trying to be braver.

3. The House in the Cerulean Sea and Under The Whispering Door by TJ Klune (they are tied). SORRY FOR THE BOOKTOK MOMENT LOL but these novels are about finding love at an older age in an unexpected place!!! about relishing little moments with people you care about in a world that's beautiful! and the way klune writes introspection really feels like how I Think. it's like a magnifying glass into my brain

4. House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. another one I post a lot about that seems very out of left field considering the rest of the list! but it was recommended to me at a hard time by one of my closest friends, and the incredibly intelligent and thoughtful way it uses Words and Language to express both Horror and Humanity has had SO MUCH influence on how I want to write

5. Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White. This novel captures queer rage in a way that feels deeply personal and wildly cathartic, and the desperation and passion with which Benji views the world and the people he cares about feels the same. Also it helped me get over my fear of meat 👍hooray, meat!

6. Now this is getting hard. um. Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir <3 sorry to put a popular book again but listen. it's about humanity and how ugly and brutal and full of love we are. it's about being so painfully Normal and Alive in a world that's trying to keep what you love from you. It's about eating breakfast and petting a dog and swimming in the sea and it's UNAPOLOGETIC IN IT'S HONESTY. IT'S SO HEALING TO THE INNER CHILD TO SEE NONA LOVE SO FIERCELY

7. Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. listen. it's not a great book. it's stereotype-y and gross and kind of boring but. when you're in fifth grade and very neurodivergent but trying very, very hard not to let yourself show it, reading about a girl who is proudly Weird and Impulsive and Kind and Creative is like finally getting to see what you could be if you were a little less afraid. she was a manic pixie dream girl but she was mine, y'know?

8. (at this point I'm getting up to look at my bookshelf)

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. Again, hugely different from the rest of this list, but probably the book I read in high school that I felt was most worth my time. Stunning, earnest writing and a deeply human story. I could go on for probably an hour about how clever Ellison's imagery is, and how powerful a choice as small as leaving your protagonist nameless can be. If anything on this terrible list is required reading, it's this

9. similarly, The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. I read this book for school, but by choice, and I kind of hated it! Not gonna lie! But something about how batshit insane it is left a huge impression on me. While it's wildly unrealistic and often frustrating, there are little bits of earnest grief and uncomfortably close-to-home interactions that make it feel like it Could happen. The way it describes parent-child relationships makes me want to escape my mortal flesh due to feeling Too Seen.

IF YOU READ ALL OF THAT WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!! anyway @haijinks @neonphoenix @human-sweater-vest @lasaraleen @samwisegamwise I'd love to see your ten books but there is No Pressure :3 love u !

10. FINALLY THE END! FUCK YOU! PERCY JACKSON!!! it's so funny and clever and diverse and ACCURATE! twelve year olds are little shits who want desperately to run away from their parents and make friends and have adventures! it made my sense of humor what it is, it introduced me to a blonde female protagonist who was INTELLIGENT AND BRAVE (things I always thought I was but was afraid to be)!!!!! and, most importantly, my first thought upon receiving my adhd diagnosis a week ago (it's been about five years since I last read pjo), was "wow. I'm one step closer to being a half-blood".

EDIT: there are bonus books in the replies that my dumb brain forgot ab until rn if u wanna see :]

[jjsanguine]

BL/QL Ask game: The Ugly, the Bad and the Worst

From @clara-maybe-ontheroad

I feel like starting a random tag ask game for all the terrible shit us QL-lovers put up with, sometimes for pleasure, sometimes for pain, sometimes for both! The list of questions ended up being very long so no one has to do them all, just the ones you want, but I'm excited to see what everyone comes up with :)

The categories are:

Worst soundtrack / weirdest song choice in a BL

I listen to basically anything so I've yet to really be weirded out. I have kpop, world music, afropop, Afrobeats, gospel, country, drill, R&B, praise and worship (?) and others I don't know the genre names for jumbled together in the same playlist lmao.

Most cringe-inducing line (cute)

"Let's kiss the dog together" in Lovely Writer. I don't like dogs so this made me crease even more. Kissing animals is gross I'm sorry.

Most cringe-inducing line (actually bad)

Any line I truly disliked is blissfully gone from my memory.

Most stupid decision made by a character

Any of Phupha's decisions in The Promise (2023), but chiefly the decision to disappear from 10 years. I know it was the driving force in the show but it was still a fucking terrible decision.

Worst plot line

Gram x Eugene in Not Me. Literally huh ??? I choose to ignore it.

The most problematic show you've watched

Probably Tharntype. I do not care what happened in Lhong's life man. Why are you muddying a cartoon villain with a sob story.

A show people love but you find bad

I never finished Love In The Air or Gap the Series. I didn't find them bad really, I just got missed an episode and then never caught up.

A show people find bad but you will defend

I don't know if people dislike the while show but secret crush on you episode 1 makes you want to peel off your skin and wring the ick out of your bones. But after you've taken a month or so to recover from that, it's a masterpiece.

A show that is just objectively bad but you enjoyed it

Probably Tharntype, purely based on me watching it several times but also wanting to throw my phone for like 80% of the runtime. It's like when I eat food and go "I'm not sure how I feel about this" the entire time, but have to conclude logically that I liked it somewhat since I finished it all of my own volition.

A bad show that you kept watching because you were intrigued/fascinated

A lot a lot of them. I am easily pleased.

A bad show that you kept watching because you were horny

There's no level of horniness that will make me stick with a show that I'm losing interest in. Why would I bother with something that has a plot in that case lmao.

A bad show that you kept watching because of that one character

I've never done this with a QL because I could just watch a fancam, but I am going to keep watching Outer banks even though season 3 was character assassination because Pope is my baby.

A bad show that you would still recommend

Why would I recommend a show I think is bad??

The character that ruined a show the most

He didn't ruin the show but Not's off screen redemption arc in Be My Favourite soured the ending a tiny bit for me. Not everyone has to win y'know?

Most awful character that you hated /Most awful character that you loved / A character that wasn't awful but that you just don't like

If I dislike a fictional character I usually just forget about them.

A hero that should have been a villain

Joke in Hidden agenda. He was a troubled guy but they could have gone full on toxic with it.

A morally bad character you're into

Kinn. Well, most characters in Kinnporsche. If they were real I'd want a few dozen degrees of separation between me and anyone with such casual disregard for human life.

A morally bad character you're not into and you wish people would stop being into

I don't really keep track of who others are into.

The show that disappointed you the most

Step by step. You don't even need to change the plot, just the pacing.

The Worst Show of Them All Because of Your Own Reasons

I 100% purged my memory of it, whatever this show was.

[raayllum]

Wildly accusing anons of having some internal ableism doesn't really hit hard when said anon is personally familiar with non-verbal communication, not that you'd be aware so it's very fair

I wasn't trying to come across rude, I'm sorry if I was, I was just asking if you want to like, look at the creature you are discussing being pregnant and acknowledge it is written as a child, like it's very blatant, the crew weren't exactly subtle? fantasy creature or not it's still an uncomfortable concept to expand upon?

If you are personally grossed out by it, you can blacklist my "tw pregnancy" tag, which I've used for various posts regarding any character being pregnant for a few years now. If I am on the defensive, it's because of the (minimal, but still upsetting) albeism I've seen directed toward Amaya in the fandom over the years for her being deaf and mute.

Now, my opinion is informed by me being Autistic who also works with some Autistic children as a tutor, and I probably don't have to tell you this but am not going to assume, but there are many many behaviours neurodivergent adults do that get labelled as "childish" and then used as an excuse infantilize you. This is doubly so for someone like me who is also asexual (and concepts of sex and adulthood being weirdly interwoven in puritan North American bullshit).

You can see Sir Sparklepuff as a child if you want to, but given that he walks on all fours, secretes goo, eats uncooked bugs with his bare hands, and is a butterfly born from little bug pal and has innate knowledge to guide the group given to him by Aaravos, an ancient elf, I think it's a bit of a stretch. In a lot of ways he is far more comparable to being a mute, more benevolent version of Gollum, from Lord of the Rings. Y'know, down to the hobbling, loincloth, and acting like a guide?

In my eyes there are only two moments where Sir Sparklepuff acts remotely like a child (I suppose) and that's when Viren takes him by the arm to guide him, and when he does his happy clap (which adults can definitely do the last one).

One of the things I talk about a lot in regards to 10+ years in fantasy writing and writing groups is how sometimes fantasy has things where there is, legitimately, no real world equivalent unless you're bending your back to break it. For example if you want to ship Aaravos with anyone who isn't another (currently non-existent) Startouch elf, you are dealing with an age gap of literally thousands of years, even for an adult male in his 40s. So Viren is fully an adult, and yet his 'experience' of adulthood still pales in comparison. There are a lot of other reasons these two would be / are a clusterfuck of a relationship (which sometimes, is precisely the point), but on the basis of age - would it not always be too big of an age gap to breach?

Sure maybe, if you're not willing to engage with the Fantasy, indeterminable elements of a Fantasy story.

Your perception regarding a character who's status is ambiguous as best and what makes you personally uncomfortable regarding them does not have to make me uncomfortable. I can have a radically different perspective than you and it is not wrong for me to make content that aligns with my own perspective. It's also not wrong for you to be uncomfortable with it by accordance of your own perspective, plenty of things in fandom make me uncomfortable, I just blacklist tags or unfollow and don't go into people's inboxes about it.

I would also argue that most people, myself included, have internalized albeism to work through, because we live in ableist societies, and we never stop being allies to people who's experiences are different than ours. It's not necessarily a flaw or a moral judgement, it's a fault line and sometimes it can be good to consider those variances. The fact that you assumed, rather than me just having a different interpretation of the character (that he's more like a highly intelligent animals), that I must have the same as yours (that he's a child - which the best bit of evidence would probably be the fact he's recently hatched, and you didn't bring that up) and therefore reached a bonkers conclusion (I'm writing about a child being pregnant) says something noteworthy about perhaps your familiarity with ideas and literature in ways that are radically different than just your initial interpretation or viewpoint (which is not wrong, but everyone's is accordingly limited unless you expand)

It also assumes that I have to have black and white thinking rather than engaging in something ambiguously, i.e. the same way I can engage with and make content about Rayllum that is platonic/QPR or romantic, rather than just sticking definitively to one viewpoint or dynamic, I can also engage with things that have different views of Sir Sparklepuff in fandom because unlike canon, things that would normally cancel each other out as definitive interpretations do not exist in a more ambiguous fandom space

If you are interested in more thoughts regarding Sir Sparklepuff you may interested in an upcoming oneshot I'm working on titled "twice as many stars," in which I take us down the existential horror story that is his existence - a sentient life, created for a singular specific purpose and then abandoned by said creator who does not care for him at all, completely unaware he is living (presumably) on borrowed time and that the family he loves has varying degrees of affection for him in turn.