#Flex Seal Family of Products

[flexsealfamilyofproductsfan]

I am a man who loves the Flex Seal Family of Products

Flex Seal and the Flex Seal Family of Products are my favorite things. I love them so much. I love Flex Seal, Flex Paste, Flex Shot, etc. btw I am sexually attracted to them please don't hate.

DNI:

Flex Seal Family of Products haters

That is all

[sea-lanterns]

CAR WASH

synopsis: your hot new neighbor helps wash your car

featuring: arlecchino

rating: 18+ nsfw (men and minors dni)

warnings: sub! afab female reader, public sex (you guys do it on top of your car), pet names, oral (reader recieving), teasing, biting, licking, mentions of a tongue piercing, reader wears a sundress.

art credits: bai lijin among mortals

When you first moved into the neighborhood, your new neighbor; Arlecchino, was watching you move in from the corner of her lawn. Arms folded and lips sealed tight under the teeth of her grin, she watched you closely as you helped your parents carry in boxes from within the crowded moving truck, eyes locked onto the shape of your ass whenever you bent down to pick something up, and following your strides whenever you walked outside. You noticed her, you definitely did, but instead of getting too upset, you figured you’d give her a little show as you innocently winked at her before going back into your new house to drop your belongings off. 

Oh, you’ve caught her attention now. Much more than you did a few moments ago as the second your father came out to carry the heavier boxes, Arlecchino stepped forward and offered to help speed up the process. It was around this time you came back outside and spotted her helping your father lift some of the heavier belongings. Toned muscles stiffening as she lifted them with ease, along with a heavy grunt emitted from her lips that made you turn your attention to her further. 

She was…incredibly toned for a woman of her stature, as when she walked by the pavement to help carry the boxes in, she brushed by you and smirked when she saw you staring awestruck as her strength. Even flexing a little when she switched to one hand to carry the heavier box. Little did you know however, that this would not be the last time Arlecchino would be helping your family, or the last time she’d show her strength to you… 

Whenever it rains in the summer it gets drastically humid. And drastically messy… Your car was absolutely covered in stained water spots and your dad was not happy at the look. He was about to go drive to some cheap automatic drive thru to thoroughly wash his car, but Arlecchino caught wind of this and smirked, offering to wash his car for him.

Huh, that’s surprising. Usually Arlecchino doesn’t do favors for anybody… Though, unbeknownst to your father, she had another goal in mind behind that convincing smile…

A goal that involves you…

After a few negotiations with her in terms of payment and certain cleaner products, your parents decided to go on their annual Costco trip in their other car, which meant they’d be gone for at least a few hours. Before they left however, they told you that your neighbor Arlecchino would be washing the family car in their driveway, and that if she needed anything from the house, you’d be there to assist her. 

Oh, you’d definitely assist her alright…

Which is why you were watching her clean from the upstairs window of your bedroom, letting your eyes trail over her toned, sweaty body. All hot from the sun beating down on her back, as sweat formed at her brow from the summer-buzzing heat of the sun. 

Arlecchino was only wearing a black tank top and some gym shorts at the time, showing off her chiseled stomach that held the faintest outline of what appeared to be abs. Even if she didn’t have them, it was clear that the woman worked out as her stomach looked straight out of a model’s magazine. A sight that almost made you drool because wow, was she flexing on purpose…? Perhaps she was, I mean…there’s no way someone could stretch so much in a span of 5 minutes…

You noticed her wiping the sweat off her brow with a towel, looking fatigued as you had the idea to treat her to something. Going downstairs to pour a glass of lemonade for the hardworking woman, you went outside and set the pitcher down on a nearby table, walking over to her with a smile.

“…Hey,” Arlecchino grins, flashing you a snide smile when she sees you.

“Hey.” You responded back, trying to match her vibe as you handed her the glass. “Lemonade? You’ll die of heatstroke otherwise…”

“Hm. How sweet of you…” she mumbles, taking the glass and downing half of it in three large gulps, some of the liquid trekking past the corners of her mouth and trickling down her jaw. “Mm…thanks sweetie,” she sighs, handing you the glass as she went back to work, wiping the stray lemonade drops with the back of her hand.

‘Well shit, that was hot wasn’t it?’ Apparently your body also agreed as you felt a strange churning in the core of your stomach. A naughty little thought popping into your brain as you bit your lip and walked over to sit at your patio table.

“…Tch, is the princess enjoying the show?” Arlecchino scoffs, a crude smirk adorning her face. “How cute. Just sit still and look pretty, I got this…”

With that, Arlecchino reached over to grab her sponge and dunk it in the bucket of sudsy water. Long, slender fingers squeezing the sponge in a way that made your heart quicken, as she smacked it on the roof of the hood to begin cleaning. Scrubbing precisely to get rid of every stain and imprint and arching her back over to reach all the cracks and crevices.

You crossed your legs to satisfy the tingling you felt within the core of your hips. Eyes trained to roam over how concentrated and focused she was in giving your car the best wash it could possibly receive. God, you wished she’d focus on you as intently as the car, thoughts wandering to how her fingers would grip you like the sponge she was holding. Squeeze you like the bubbles that were coming out with each grab. The thought made your cunt twitch with anticipation as you couldn’t help but subtly grind against the patio seat, hoping she wouldn’t notice.

Ah, but Arlecchino is as attentive as ever. Watching your minuscule movements with a keen eye and smirking to herself at your discomfort.

“You alright there, babe?”  She teases, running a tongue over her lips. “You’re lookin’ a lil hot and bothered. You could take a sip of my drink if you’d like, I don’t mind sharing with you…” 

“Oh?” You raised a brow at her words and snickered. “You’re not worried about germs?” 

Arlecchino lets out a small scoff and grins. “I don’t mind a little bacteria, babe. Sharing with you would mean I get an indirect kiss…” She chuckles darkly and slaps a wet rag against the hood of the car, the sound making you flinch as she wipes it over the surface to spread the suds. Geez…you wondered if she’d treat you as roughly as the car she was cleaning right now…

“Do you flirt with all your patrons…?” You ask with a laugh, leaning back against the chair lazily. “You seem like the playboy type…”

“Please, I don’t flirt with just anybody…” she chuckles, wiping the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand. “…Just the girls that look pretty in a sundress.”

You look down and realize that you were coincidentally wearing a sundress. Arlecchino smirks when she spots you looking down to check, and waves a hand over for you to come. “Looks like you realized. Come, help me with this part. I promise I won’t dirty that pretty little dress of yours…”

What a lie that was.

What started as Arlecchino bending over behind you to help you clean the car escalated to subtle, wet touches that caressed your bare skin. As her taller body hovered over yours behind you, you felt the fabric of her shorts press up against your ass, pelvis bumping into yours closely as she helped wipe down some cleaner. 

“You okay?” She’d whisper huskily into your ear, the bare stomach of her tank top pushing roughly against your back. “You’ve been scrubbing the same spot for the past minute or so…”

“Yeah? Well you’ve been rubbing up against me for the past minute or so too…” you argue sarcastically, a mean smile appearing on your face. Arlecchino chuckles at your sass and lightly smacks the outer part of your thigh, a gasp escaping your lips from the sudden harsh treatment. “The pretty girl has some kick in her words…” she smiles, “that’s okay…I can handle a little spice…” 

With that, she flips you over so you could lay back against the hood of the car. Some of the wet soap residue clinging to your back as she holds you down with her body. 

“…You’re gonna dirty the car again.” You chuckle. 

“Hah, like I care…” she grins.

Calloused hands roaming over your hips, she pressed your body flush with her hips and began grinding your pelvises together to start a friction that made your insides burn. The black nail-polished tips of her fingers prodding up your sundress and pushing it back to rub at your panties.

“You’re okay with this, right? Just making sure…?” Arlecchino murmurs, looking down at you with concerned eyes.

“Well we’re already doing it so might as well…” you chuckle, letting her lift your legs up from the ground below and wrap it around her waist. “That’s good…” she sighs, before that coy smile returns to her face, fingers reaching up to play with the elasticity of your underwear before pulling it down. “Because we are definitely gonna have to clean the car again…”

She leans in to kiss you feverishly, almost like a bite as she dives her tongue into your mouth to French kiss you into submission. Hands hiking up your dress to expose your naked thighs to the outside world, and cupping your cunt with her palm, rubbing it until she felt it dampen under her touch.

“Don’t make too much noise now…we’re outside after all,” she purrs, tossing your panties to the ground as she continues rubbing your folds for all to see. Two fingers sliding down to seperate them slightly and gaze at the erotic sight before her. How naughty…

Arlecchino bit her lip when she saw how soft and aching you looked for her, so exposed and scandalous as the thought of doing this out in public further turned her on. The risk of doing such an indecent act outside spurring the woman more as she leans down to kiss your neck, fingers starting to prod a little deeper at your entrance and gather slick between her polished nails.

You moaned at the feeling, avoiding eye contact as she spread your legs with her other hand and playfully nipped at your skin. Laughing a little at the annoyed look you gave her and grinning sleazily at your pout. 

“What? Don’t like my teeth?” She laughs hazily, tilting her head before biting her lip to show how sharp they were. “Better get used to it. You’ll be feeling these somewhere else…”

You shivered at her words and felt heat rise to your cheeks when she lowered herself to meet eye level with your clit. Giving it a sweet lick of her tongue before diving forward to stroke circles between your folds with the tip. Holding your hips firmly with her hands to stop you from shaking, as you groaned and bucked your hips against her face. 

“Mmmh…Arle…” you groaned. Her tongue so warm and rough as it caressed your clit harshly, hands reaching down to grip her short hair in yours and push her deeper into your cunt. “Haah…this is so messy…our poor car…” you attempt to giggle, before cutting yourself off with your own moans as she starts sucking deeper into your folds. 

“We could always clean it up again…” she mumbles, pinching your clit with her teeth and causing you to yelp. “…So be quiet and just enjoy.”

You whimper as she prods the tip deeper into your cunt, feeling the soft flesh of your walls as she circles it to feel every twitch of your warmth. You let your mind wander to how good it might feel if she got a tongue piercing to boot with that rough tongue of hers. Maybe you’ll talk about it with her later…after all, she did seem like the type to enjoy piercings…

Arlecchino seemed to notice you spacing out and gently flicked her tongue up to push against your clit. A gasp emitting from your lips as she pushes further into your folds. 

“Mm…what are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours…” she grins lazily, tongue slowly dragging against your clit as she watches you squirm. “I hope it’s only thoughts of me…”

She grins and presses her tongue flat, feeling the heat of your skin grind against her lips. A moan riveting itself through your throat as you felt yourself come undone, thighs twitching as you cream all over the rough expanse of her tongue. “Felt good huh…?”

You groan and look down to look at the sticky mess you made all over Arlecchino’s face. Some of it dripping down onto the hood of the car and staining the surface you both worked so hard to clean. The woman above you noticed your worried eyes and chuckled darkly, grabbing your wrist and planting a soft kiss against it. 

“Don’t worry babe, we have time to clean it again…”

[flexsealfamilyofproductsfan]

My beautiful beloved Flex Seal

[flexsealfamilyofproductsfan]

I have no clue what this means. Do you and your best friend wrap Flex Tape around your hands when you do your secret handshake? This is very intriguing to a Flex Connoisseur such as myself, since I have never heard of Flex Tape or any of the Flex Seal Family of Products used in a secret handshake before. Also, if you loved Flex Tape like you claim then you would have rigged the poll for Flex Seal to win, checkmate buddy.

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

lmao I used to have a binge eating disorder and ate like 7k calories a day. Crazily enough when I started eating a normal amount of food for my gender/height/activity level I lost weight and my sleep apnea went away, I can now walk up the stairs in my house without excruciating pain, and I have 500x the energy that I used to and my brain fog is 99% gone. But I'm sure being 190lbs overweight and eating until I felt like I was going to vomit was totally healthy and my pain was just a manifestation of my internalized fatphobia or w/e lmao

People must have somehow magically evolved to be morbidly obese in only a few decades, it can't possibly have anything to do with insane portion sizes, mass production and availability of unhealthy food, a food pyramid sponsored by companies wanting to sell you their trash and food now being full of sugar, corn syrup, artificial colors and other garbage. We're also so magical that being fat is totally fine for us unlike the thousands of other animal species in existance.

Keto and intermittent fasting literally saved my life. I was able to go down from 10 DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS to only needing 4 of them. I've literally talked to hundreds of people with the exact same story.

“I traded my BAD eating disorder for a GOOD eating disorder” is not the flex you think it is anon.

By your own admission your issue was having an eating disorder, not being fat, if you think every fat person also has an eating disorder you are projecting your own trauma and insecurities onto other people because you apparently think your experiences are universal. Most fat people do not eat until they puke actually.

The reason obesity is dangerous for a lot of animals is because, get this, animal physiology and adaptations vary greatly between species. Do you think you have the same needs as a flea? Bears, seals, whales, hippos, boars, and several other species have to carry a lot of fat to survive. Humans are bipedal and have fat stores that build up away from organs and joints. This keeps a lot of the strain off the back and prevents many of the issues you will see in quadrupeds and birds from emerging.

Ease and rate of storing fat in humans is largely due to genetics. People who were born by a starving mother naturally hold fat more easily because this is an adaptation to prevent starvation in famines. Increased fat stores is also hereditary so people who had ancestors that were starving will carry weight more often than those whose ancestors had an easy access of food for several generations. Because this was something humans adapted to over the course of millennia as nomadic groups who had to deal with inconsistent food availability due to different climates, flooding cycles, droughts, etc, humans did in fact evolve to have a fluid metabolism and hold stores of fat just fine. If you think fat people are a new invention, I have insane news for you about noble and royal families in Europe for hundreds of years. Being fat was a status symbol to show off how much money you had and that you had no need to toil in fields. This is documented very well.

Keto and [starving yourself] is not healthy. If your entire argument is that being some arbitrary level of “overweight” is unhealthy, you should consider not promoting a diet that causes you to have calcium absorption complications, chronic arterial diseases, kidney stones, and other serious issues long term. Anorexia is not a health trick either, once again, that is an eating disorder.

[oldguardhc]

Random Old Guard HC 

Not only do the OG have random skills from living so long, they also are obsessed with random bits of technology.  Also, it is not the technology that one would expect.

For example, Nicky loves micro fiber towels.  One of the OG (cannot decide who) loves the mid day, late night infomercials and loves to buy “As seen on TV” crap.

I’m adding stuff to this submission bc it’s too great not to: Joe is definitely the one who buys “As seen on TV” crap. You know this man has a bottle of Flex Seal somewhere. Blood on your favorite shirt? No problem with the power of Oxi Clean! Nicky, don’t use that microfiber towel, use the Shamwow! Booker bought Joe a Pillow Pet because he thought he finally found the one product on TV Joe would hate. Joke’s on him though because Pedro is part of the family now.

Booker loves nightlights. You would not believe how many times you can stub your toe in 200 years. Sure it heals in seconds but just because they heal doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt like a bitch every single time.

Andy likes fiber lasers, I mean she really likes them. She was a blacksmith at one point and so she’s had to engrave a fair share of things in her life. She was pretty good at it but it really wasn’t her thing. So when finer lasers came along, she fell just a tiny bit in love. The detail it could produce. The speed, precision, she made a bunch of swords just to play around with her new toy.

[cherrywoes]

ni. (acanthus.)

KAKASHI BRAIDED HER HAIR for her when it became evident she couldn’t do it by herself. Despite the extensive wrap job he had done on her arm, soaked in antibacterial gel and burn spray, he had been too late to catch the damage to her nerves. What little medical ninjutsu he did know had salvaged the damaged muscle underneath and prevented boils, but the upper layers of her skin had been utterly ruined. She had range of motion, but it came with pain, and flexing of sensitive muscles that weren’t quite ready to be moving yet. So, he braided her hair—it was not as neat as if she had done it herself, was messy with inexperience, but it kept the longer lengths out of her face and, for the most part, she looked like Sakura again.

She didn’t ask him where he had learned to braid. She also didn’t ask him about the scroll he tucked into the bag he had packed for her—filled with spare clothes, necessities, anything she could wish for as a girl going into virtual exile—that looked suspiciously like a summoning scroll, the wooden end ornate and the Hatake clan symbol carved into it. It looked nothing like the summoning scroll he used for his dogs, but she kept her inquiries to herself and focused on the mission statement she held in her burn free hand.

“Amegakure and Kumogakure.” Sakura traced the names written in red with a single finger. He paused from where he was tucking pre-made seal papers and explosive tags into a side pocket, turning his head back towards her incrementally to indicate she had his attention. “The last I heard we were on neutral terms with both villages. What happened?”

Kakashi hummed as he unzipped the secondary larger section of her pack and tossed a handful of nutrigrain bars inside, along with five bottles of water and a flask that she assumed was also filled with water. She watched him sneak a tin of jasmine pearls in there as well. “No one knows. One day, out of the blue, they declared they had an alliance and set their sights on Suna, Iwa, and Konoha. Tsunade didn’t think they had enough shinobi to do it—it turns out they did, and in vast droves too. They’d been planning it for a while, I think.”

“But Konoha hasn’t declared war with them; why not?” Sakura rolled the mission statement back up against her thigh, using her hand to tie the tiny string together messily. “We’re allies with Suna and Iwa, we should be helping them.”

Sakura forgot, momentarily, that she had no say in matters like war, or even Konoha at all, and chided herself mentally for forgetting such an important fact. She was as good as dead to Konoha, and she knew they hoped she would die on the battlefield in the end.

She, secretly, hoped she did too.

“We are. Discreetly.” Kakashi zipped up the pack and hefted it experimentally. Deeming it light enough for her to carry, he set it beside the door frame and took a seat beside her on his raggedy couch. It was green, littered with claw marks and obscure stains that looked like blood, and had Gai’s taste written all over it. “It would be illegal for normal Konoha nin to do what the War Ops do in wartime. There are rules, sanctions that prevent unjust actions between nations. The War Ops are similar to ROOT, but far worse, in my opinion. I was never part of it, but Genma was, at some point. They forsake the village in the name of the village, sabotage what they can, kill who they can, and when the war is done, whoever’s left alive will return and reinstate their Konoha citizenship, wiped clean of their crimes during the war.” He paused, then, his only visible eye filled with guilt and sadness. “But you won’t be able to come back when it’s all said and done. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I have no other choice, do I?” Sakura shrugged lamely, ignoring the pull of her skin beneath the bandages. “It’s alright, Kakashi. I deserve it for everything I’ve done. If they consider my crimes paid for dying on the battlefield, then that’s fine. I don’t see any reason to try and escape it.”

He was quiet for a moment, looking away from her and through his living room window, just barely lit with the first rays of dawn. She had maybe an hour before she had to report to the rear gates towards Amegakure. “Konoha will miss you. They might not realize it, but when they need you most, they will remember what you did for them.”

“Other than killing their friends and family?” She raised an eyebrow and laughed, but it was a pathetic imitation of one. “Maybe. But it’ll be too late by then.”

“Maybe.”

Sakura reported to the gates when Kakashi couldn’t put it off any longer. She carried her pack on one shoulder, wearing the uniform that had been delivered to his front door in the dead of night while they had slept. There were no identifying crests on the dark flak jacket, no familiar stitching in the hems or seams, and the fabric was foreign, exported from the hidden island nation of Hanagakure. While it was comfortable and stretchy, the long sleeves pulled and dragged on her bandages, irritating the previously calm skin. The rest looked like standard ANBU attire, save for the mask they had given her when she arrived at the gate. It was black and white, opposite of the red and white that ANBU typically wore, and depicted the face of a crow upon it: a silent jab that crows brought death, just as Sakura brought death to her teammates.

She may have found it funny had it been happening to someone else.

“Be safe,” Kakashi said as two War Ops members moved to flank her cautiously. There was no need for farewells; they had already said them the previous night. The dew on the trees evaporated as the sun rose higher in the sky, as the village woke and got ready for a new day. “And take care, Sakura.”

“Thank you, Kakashi-sensei. For everything.” And then she was snapping on the mask with one hand, pinning her braid to the back of her head, and was gone, vanishing into the trees with the two War Ops members as if she had never been there at all.

“Wait!” Ino Yamanaka’s shrill yell broke through the admittedly peaceful silence the morning had brought. Birds startled at the sound and took to the sky. She looked worse for wear, her once neat hair bedraggled and frizzy, dark circles lining her eyes. Behind her, following at a slightly more hasty pace than he was used to, was Sai, his pale face pulled into an expression of aggrievement—Kakashi had never seen such emotion displayed so openly before, at least from the former ROOT member. “Shit! Kakashi, did I miss her?”

“Yo.” He gave them a two fingered salute and nodded his head towards the trees. “If you had been a few seconds earlier, you would have caught her.”

“Damnit.” Ino sunk to her knees on the ground, dirtying her skirt and tears beginning to stream from her eyes. Sai, though he was not crying, knelt beside her and rested a hand on her back, rubbing awkward circles on her back in an attempt to soothe her. “I wanted to apologize to her—I didn’t think—”

“Ugly doesn’t blame you, Beautiful,” Sai said in that same blank tone. “You’re her best friend.”

“What kind of best friend am I?!” Ino wailed, a dark red flush crawling up her neck, a product of rage, anguish, and sadness. “I’m the one who practically had her sentenced to death! I’m the one who reported her! If I had just kept my big fat mouth shut, maybe—!”

“Ino,” Kakashi sighed, kneeling down to her height and grasping her shoulders. Sai paused, giving him a knowing look, and stood, taking a few steps back to deter the growing crowd of civilians flocking to the gate. “Sakura would have been caught eventually. It’s alright. She doesn’t blame you. This way, she knew what was coming; she believes she deserves it, so she doesn’t hate you for it. She hates herself.”

Ino hiccuped, her tears growing steadier and faster. “Then why do I feel like I just killed my best friend, Kakashi?”

He closed his eyes and tamped down the flare of anger in his chest. “Because you probably did.”

Sakura heard Ino’s cries from half a mile away. The War Ops were determined and moved fast, neither speaking a word to her as they leapt from tree branch to tree branch, infusing chakra into their steps to move a little bit faster, to push her a little more harder. She was able to keep up with them but only barely, her heart tugging her back to comfort Ino, to see the village one last time. She had to stop herself several times from looking back for a brief second, just to see if she could make out a head of pale blonde hair, and focused on the rapidly moving backs of her escorts, their nondescript brown and black hair the only hints of color on them.

While they were fast, they were also silent, but Sakura could taste the animosity crawling all over them anyways. They had likely been briefed on her status, and there was always a chance she would be fighting with a relative of someone she had killed, be it Yamanaka, Hyuuga, Akimichi, or a civilian. She would not only be watching her back for their enemies, she would have to watch out for her allies, too; there would be no friendships made here, she thought grimly, and adjusted the straps of her pack. Kakashi had been smart to add a lightening jutsu to it so it wouldn’t hinder her progress, but it would be a nuisance if she had to fight with it on.

Though, if her latest fights had been anything to go by, she was more likely to obliterate organs and brains with a single rush of chakra than breaking bones with blunt, chakra enhanced fists. She would have to test it when they arrived at camp—some miles away near the borders of Ame—or if they chanced upon a group of rogue ninja along the way. And her seal needed to be examined, too, but she didn’t trust any one of the War Ops members as far as she could throw them. Her own abilities would have to be enough.

“Caravan, three o’clock. Possibly rogue ninja.” The first ninja, a woman, held her arm out in an order to pause. Sakura landed lightly on the tree branch behind her, eyes darting over the horse mask she wore and then into the underbrush, where she could just barely make out the wheels of a carriage and several men dressed in what appeared to be Amegakure gear. “No. Amegakure forces… Six chuunin and four jounin. Orders, Crane?”

The second ninja hummed in thought. Sakura would recognize the sound of Neji Hyuuga’s voice anywhere, her gaze hyper focused—the long brown hair, slight build, the way he carried himself… She should have guessed. As far as she had been aware, Neji had been sealed by his clan and virtually disappeared from the public eye, but if this was what he had been doing for the past year or so, then she would have to be wary.

“Engage hostiles. Horse, crowd control. Crow… close combat. Fight to kill.”

Sakura scowled behind her mask. He was already putting her at risk of death. She shouldn’t have been surprised; the last time she had seen Neji, they hadn’t been on good terms. If this was how the rest of her life was going to be while they fought this war, she would rather throw him to the wolves and fend for herself.

Their orders received, the triad scattered to surround the caravan. The contents were obscure, but Sakura could make out the kanji for ‘explosive’ on a barrel tied to the top. They were nearly thirty or forty miles out from Konoha, so they were clearly intended for the village, perhaps to weaken the defenses or take out enough ninja to cause an issue.

The plan of attack was clear. Sakura would be forced to go in first; Neji would come in with Horse and keep them all limited to the small pathway and prevent them from vanishing into the forest. It was a smart plan… if only it had gone as she thought it would.

Sakura leapt down from her perch on a branch and slammed down on a man’s shoulders hard enough that the chakra in her feet sliced clean through the ball and socket joint and severed his arms from his torso. It hadn’t been intentional, but she sawed a kunai across his throat anyway, arterial spray flying into the air in an elegant arc. It was warm and wet as it poured down her face and absorbed into her clothes, but she couldn’t linger on just one. She shoved the body to the ground, the impact causing her knees to jolt unpleasantly, and darted for the nearest ninja in her line of sight.

He was large, burly, with cracked teeth and eyes full of red blood vessels. The vest he wore was more kevlar than a standard vest, so when Sakura tried to force her kunai through it, she was met with enough resistance that she had to change her plan. She swung her fist towards his face, intending to break his jaw and slam the delicate bones in his nose bridge up into his skull, but he caught the chakra laced hit with his bare hand, unaware of the horror crawling over Sakura’s face as her razor sharp chakra tore through skin and muscle and flesh and bone, all the way up to his elbow, bits of gore and shorn veins flying through the little crowd they made.

Horse and Neji never came to back her up.

When the man screamed, hand flying up to grab at his bicep, she lunged forward and ground her fist into his skull. She heard the crack of bone and the soft give of brain matter and then he was dead, slumping at her feet, blood pooling between the webbing of her toes and sinking into her brand new shoes.

She was on her own, she realized, and had been set up quite spectacularly. Horse and Neji’s chakra signatures were well on their way towards Amegakure and fading fast. This must have been the elders’ plan: set her up, get her killed, and no one would be the wiser if she died due to foul play.

Sakura slaughtered her way through the Ame nin with tears burning in her eyes and a knot in her throat that she couldn’t work through. She had thought she had been done with crying when she had left Konoha. She had thought she would be stone hard and cold when she left, unmoving, and stalwart in the face of her own death. Instead, she was as scared as the day she had faced off Orochimaru in the Forest of Death; as scared as the day Sasuke had knocked her unconscious and left her at the gates; as scared when she killed that poor girl when she was trying to heal her instead. Terrified, even, and fear fueled her anger, which fueled her determination to live.

She wanted to live. But did she even deserve it, anymore?

The last of the Amegakure ninja fell to her feet, his head rolling to a stop against a tree stump. A large lake of blood, demolished organs, and gore had grown the more she killed, and the mark on her forehead stung something fierce, as if someone had taken a hornet stinger to her skin and was painstakingly drawing out the circles and lotus flower like a cruel tattoo.

Sakura reached under her mask and brushed the tears away, blood streaking across her cheek and the corner of her eyes. There was nothing left to do now but move forward. She could let them believe she had died and flee to a far away country where no one would think to look for her; but a darker part of her, whispering in the back of her mind, told her to go to Amegakure, to show Neji and Horse that she was worth more than a few chunin and jounin, and when they weren’t looking, stab them in the back as they had her.

She closed her eyes and sighed. “An eye for an eye, right?”

With one last cursory glance to the ninja she had killed, she began heading towards Amegakure, following the invisible trail that Neji had left behind.

一 (ichi) | masterlist | 三 (san)

[flexsealfamilyofproductsfan]

A can of Flex Seal is only 14.99 (not including shipping) How much medicine could you need where you need donations?

nothing to see here, everything is fine

HELP ME BUY MY MEDS WITH COMMISSIONS OR DONATIONS

[official-phil-swift]

hey I broke my soul the other day, would something in the Flex Seal family of products be able to help?

Yeah you’ll be wanting Flex Soul Patch®.

[potok18]

Need need need the entire Flex Seal family of products 

[flexsealfamilyofproductsfan]

I find it quite Flexphobic that Flex Seal or any of the Flex Seal Family of Products weren't included in this poll. In todays age of inclusivity I find it sad that my people are still discriminated against like this.

[gen-zee]

i follow the flex seal family of products on instagram

[alitheamateur]

A Taste of Home

Summary: Amelia Calvert is a Boston-born girl returning home after the sur turn of events in her marriage. Her life is turned upside down, leaving her nearly broke, jobless for the most part, and sleeping in the childhood bedroom of her parents home. As if things weren’t shaken up enough for Millie, a familiar face discovers her return to the city, and her world turns to the happiest, most confusing whirlwind of shambles. 

Characters: Chris Evans X OFC

Warnings: Slight age gap (9ish years). Language

Back home. Back to square one. Back like things never changed.

Except everything had. You were returning without a job, no abode of your own, and a nixed husband. It was all supposed to be under wraps, but whispers spread like an unrelenting rash. The bad kind of rash that you never want to have to call an ex about… Your city may be a big one, one supposed to be above and beyond all that small-town “he said, she said” nonsense. But, gossip found it’s place no matter the zip code, and you just happened to be square in the center of it.

You much preferred Boston to the sweltering air of rural Texas, but the things we do for love, huh? Your husbands’ home-base office happened to stand in the city of Austin, and at the time, you would’ve followed him to Tim-buck-too had it been necessary. “At the time” meaning before you found him on all fours, belt loose around the ankles with his paralegal. You’d had her in your home, schmoozing her with expensive wine, and an overpaid caterer because you didn’t want to poison her with your shit concoctions in the kitchen. “At the time” anyway….

Leaving your soon to be ex-husband without so much as a “see you later”, Boston called your name. And for the time being, so did your old room on the upstairs floor of your parent’s house. You chose for a few months at least to believe those clichés about “never being too old to go home.”

Your travel blog hadn’t quite caught on with the public yet, and since your divorce wouldn’t be final for countless days, money was nearly nonexistent. You were separating from a lawyer, too. Meaning a substantial monetary settlement in your favor was highly unlikely.

Thankfully, you always had a place at Calvert’s Cup, your family owned coffee shop just a mere 4 blocks from your childhood home. The familiar solace of the place was comforting, and the warm, fuzzy smell of the house blend soothes your aching, confused heart, as well. Sure, the little downward brows of pity from the nosey morning crowd who’d made it a freaking special ops mission to discover your reason for returning to Boston wore you out. But, there was no stopping them. No way, no how. So, you played on with your best smile, and did your due diligence around the little shop.

 One Tuesday, with the rain pouring outside like the coffee at morning rush, and thunder rumbling against the loose panes of the front window, you ran back to the register once hearing the twinkling of the entry bell. Your line of sight never raised as you greeted the patron approaching your counter.

 “Morning. What can I do for you?”

 A cackling, raspy outburst and the clapping of a heavy set of hands swiped your attention.

 “Hold on a fucking minute.” The yelping announcement from the very familiar male voice instantly made you want to fall into a cave never to see the light of day again.

 You’d know that loud, Boston city charm anywhere. You swiped a loose lock of hair around the curve of your ear, hoping to God your face didn’t appear as heated & humiliated as it felt.

 Chris, the always handsome kid that lived two doors down from you your entire childhood, in the flesh & very much grown up. Of course, you were highly aware since his face frequented any slimy gossip column on the newsstand weekly. The two of you hadn’t been extremely tight knit in the category of friends almost 15 years ago since he’d been a handful of years older. But he was a face you spent many an hour daydreaming about.

 “Amelia Calvert, in the flesh. God, how long’s it been!? What are you doing here?” He smiled, shaking off the mist of rain settling on his coat.

 Yeah, what are you doing here? Let’s hear it. And don’t leave out that part about moving back in with your parents. That’ll be a real smash.

 “I uh... I’m back here now. For good, most likely. Some things have just.... well, changed recently.”

 Before he had time to retort, his pocket chimed. Pulling the telephone culprit loose, he checked the screen and dismissed its interruption.

 “Well, well. How ‘bout that? I’m sure your mom is ecstatic. I know how chipper my mom gets when I’m in town for a break.”

 The valley girl in you wanted to squeal a little. He was unfathomably handsome, decked in a dark shaded baseball cap, and a shirt resembling the same. The beard was new, but inexplicably welcomed.

 He was simply, well, just Chris. The choir boy who made everyone laugh, and whose house the entire school knew had the best parties. You remember him typically strumming a guitar, and starring in the lead role for every drama club production. Not a single person could ever deny his natural born taking to the stage. And all these years later, the stars, and that damn near perfect beard, had fallen perfectly into the place for him.

 You could feel the metal clasp of your diamond earrings warming against the bashful heat of your blush. Here you were, tied into a stained apron, dry-shampoo caked in your fitful hair, smudges of whipped-cream splattered on the glasses you usually never wore in public, standing in front of a literal A-list celebrity. When were the stars supposed to fall into place for you? Those bastards.

“She’s loving it. She and dad both. I did miss the place…”

“What brings you back anyways? Florida, was it?” He questioned cocking a thick eyebrow, endearing little wrinkles appearing above his left eye.

“Texas, actually. Yeah, it was Texas. I guess it was uh, it was just time to hang up my cowboy hat.”

It drew a belly laugh out of him, and he flapped a hand over his stony peck as if to choke back his uproarious reaction. You needed to feel a laugh like that. But instead, as of late, you were only the butt of such laughter.

His incessant mobile buzzed out again, this time in the palm of his hand.

“Hey, a large house blend, please. 2 sugars would be great.” He politely whispered, muffling the speaker of his phone.

Chris moseyed in circles a few feet from the counter, far enough to make your eavesdropping much more challenging as you appeared to innocently make his order to go. He still talked with his hands, boisterously tossing his head about. That had to be the theater upbringing in him. He may live up to his lax, ‘go with the flow’ reputation, but he definitely had a thing for the dramatic, as well.

You sealed the lid tightly on his biodegradable cup, marking his name across the side with your sharpie, and without thinking, dotted the letter “I” in his name with a tiny little heart. Your psyche was clawing it’s way through to the light one way or another.

“God, sorry about that. Agent bullshit, and all that jazz.” He nodded, rolling his extremely bright eyes.

“Living the dream, right? I can only imagine.” An airy giggle escaped you.

His fingers tapped on the counter, the other hand accepting the steamy java you had whipped up. He chewed his lower lip, gnawing back the tiniest traces of a smile, but the crinkles around his nose gave up his jig.

“It’s damn good to see you, Millie.” It was a simple sentiment. Meaningless, really. But, you could feel behind the bold, warm cadence of his voice that he’d meant exactly what he said. It wasn’t one of those things you say to an old acquaintance because you feel like you have to. Chris seemed…genuinely pleased at your unexpected presence. Which caused those same certain warm cadences in your…. areas. Your heart could’ve exploded into a million beating pieces as your nickname fell from his mouth.

Why the hell did he care though? What did your miniscule return to the city matter? There’d been no contact since his golden ticket was stamped, and truly before now, you weren’t sure he would even recognize your plain face in a crowd.

“Well, I’m happy to know that little ol’ me could brighten your day. And that I’m sure that glorious cup of dark roast had nothing to do with it.”

You were rocking fretfully back and forth behind the counter. Your hands fiddled with the loose watch band fastened around your bony wrists. You were fidgeting undoubtably. You were a fidgeter. The soft auburn whiskers sprouted around his sharp jaws made you fidget.

What those jaws would feel like flexing between your thighs…..

“You’re right. I do love the dark roast. Your dad always leaves a bag with my mom around the holidays for me. This cup seems to taste a little better though, I’m not gonna lie.”

Okay. Was he flirting? That was definitely flirting. You were getting a divorce, not dying. But, he didn’t know that. The wretched “D” word news surely hadn’t spread that far, had it?

You let yourself smile, timidly accepting the compliment with apprehension. This guy could have the ass of half of America on a platter had he been that sort of person. Nothing about the saggy, tired circles under your eyes, and your hair tied into a blonde crows-nest at the crown of your head screamed sex appeal in the slightest.

Chris leaned over the counter, fat beads of rain residue still hanging from his coat dolloped on the counter, one catching your finger. You froze in an instant. Your mind already warring whether to suck his slightly chapped lips into your mouth, or faint from the heavenly poison of his scent climbing into your nostrils.

“But don’t tell your dad. Wouldn’t want to ruin my source of supply.” He whispered deep into your ear like he was spilling some undisclosed secret of the CIA. The mans mouth grazed the shell of your ear, goosebumps climbing up your tensed neck.

“Mhmm…” you choked on your tongue trying to clear your throat. “Your uh, your secrets safe with me.”

“Cross your heart?” With one thick brush of a finger, Chris marked an ‘x’ over the now heaving rise of your chest, politely minding not to drag over your breast. The pert of your begging nipple may have made things a bit awkward.

“I’m a fortress.” You gulped, trying to swallow down the unrelenting urge to capture his lips.

He took a long pull of the coffee, never releasing you from his cuffed stares. You didn’t want to look away from his swimming, batting eyes, but something about the way his neck strained with his swallow called for your attention.

“Come to my place, Mills. Tomorrow night, if you don’t have plans?”

Well, your mom would certainly be distraught that you’d miss movie night, but you could probably squeeze in some time for the guy. But, alone? At his place? No one around to hold you accountable for the screaming, near melted center of your body that suddenly ached for him?

Lacking all power of will, you nodded a probably overzealous acceptance, making his mouth open into a pearly-white smile. A movie star smile. Literally.

“I’ll text you the address then! Have a good one. Glad I ran into you, Amelia.” It was as if the light of the room followed him out the door when it closed behind him, and you were left standing in a blissful fog to make some sense of the events of the last 5 minutes.

And what the hell did you have to wear to Captain America’s house? 

*A/N: PLEASE let me know if you’d like to be added, or removed from the taglist*

tags: @miidailyinspiration @mollybegger-blog @littleluna98

[yamada-ryo]

Theory: Phil Swift is an abyssal

“Thats a lotta damage” = taiha

“I sawed this boat in half”, attacks boats

Flex seal family of products work underwater, abyssals come from the sea

[flexsealfamilyofproductsfan]

While I do appreciate this interesting way to look at humanity and it is interesting to learn we are the only species that cooks I do have something to say about the sex and love thing. I, as a Flex Connoisseur, believe that our human sex and love set us far apart from every other species. No other species on Earth shows love like my love for the Flex Seal Family of Products. I am living proof that humanity's love and sex is extremely different from every other species' version of them. No other species on Earth can or ever will be sexually attracted to the Flex Seal Family of Products. Sorry for debunking your entire theory but I felt I had to share.

"Love and sex make us human"

Wrong. Most animals fuck. Some reproduce without a partner. Then there are some that can choose not to fuck (like those that remain in their pride or family and forfeit the right to mate in exchange for safety).

Definitely a lot of them love. In their own way or even our way. Like... so many birds mate for life. Humans only wish for that marriage success rate...

Love and sex don't make us human. The absence of them doesn't make us human.

You know what makes us human?

COOKING.

Humans are the only creatures in existence to cook their food. To have a culinary culture. To purposefully change the molecular structure of their sustenance for fun, art, and pleasure.

So, in a way, at the root of it, is pizza over sex and romance.

Pizza makes us human.

🍕

[buildmatcher-blog]

41 Bathroom Renovation Mistakes You Must Avoid

Our expectations of the humble bathroom have become quite inflated. It’s no longer just a place to get clean, we want more, a refuge where we can close the door on the daily humdrum to luxuriate and recharge, or perhaps just to have some peace and quiet at a place where no one disturbs you, or just simply play with our phones to tune out from the world for a bit. 

There’s a lot more to designing a bathroom than choosing taps and tiles (as fun as that part is). Get it right, you will have a beautiful, functional space that you will enjoy spending time in every day. Get it wrong, and you could end up with a bathroom plagued by impractical niggles or, worse, that needs to be completely refitted (not to mention the sleep you lose along the way). 

When renovating, it’s incredibly important to have a plan. It doesn’t matter what your space is, a plan will help you figure out exactly what it is that you need to achieve your ideal space. Without a plan, mistakes can happen. Even with a plan sometimes mistakes can happen! What we don’t want is to spend a truckload of time, money and inconvenience on our dream bathroom only to find out a few months down the track that it’s not living up to its promises. 

At Buildmatcher, we deal with homeowners renovating their bathrooms on a daily basis and let me tell you, I’ve seen just about everything that could go wrong, go wrong! So, if you’re also looking to renovate your bathroom this year, then this guide is meant for you. 

Today, I’ll offer my perspective on what mistakes to avoid in a bathroom renovation. Make sure to read through until the end because if you make any one of these mistakes, your renovation costs will shoot through the roof. 

So here are 41 most common mistakes in renovating bathrooms. Watch out for these common mistakes so that you can sprint to that beautiful washroom you’ve been dreaming of, instead of tripping over the hurdles of inexperience in your renovation nightmare. 

1. Being seduced by the showroom 

We’ve all been there: falling in love with glorious waterfall showers, statement sinks and enormous soaking tubs after a trip to a glamorous bathroom showroom. In reality, these room sets have been designed around the suite with perfect proportions, so it’ll never feel cramped or ‘too much’. Put that oversized bath in your average family home though and it soon becomes an albatross. Too often it becomes a glorified towel holder, filling it up takes forever and it’s too big to get children into and out of safely. You’re better getting something more suited to the space that you’ll use every day. 

2. Forgetting to future-proof 

If you’re in your ‘forever home’ then think about setting up the bathroom to be safe and functional as you and your family get older. Non-slip surfaces, grab handles, flat walk-in showers and swapping twisting knobs for lever taps can make the transition a little easier. If you’re not quite ready for that, think about leaving space to add these details in later. 

3. Using Fixtures And Features That Date 

We have all seen it: the chocolate sanitary ware and the gaudy border tiles. Your choice may be very on-trend when it is installed but within a short time frame (within 2 years) will begin to look dated. By keeping your, fixtures, fittings and finishes very elegant and classical, you will ensure that your bathroom has broad appeal that lasts for a very long time. 

4. D.I.Y waterproofing 

One of the most common issues in a bathroom is a leaking shower and it is an expensive item to fix. Best to do it right the first time by engaging a Certified-waterproofing tradesman and ensure that you are provided with a waterproofing certificate and warranty. If you sell your home following the bathroom renovation you will be required to produce the waterproofing certificate. 

Buildmatcher's Waterproofing tip: once the waterproofing is complete, keep an eye on the follow up trades, particularly the tiler. A small nick in the waterproof membrane with the tillers trowel or a broken tile will compromise its integrity and may result in a leak. 

5. Inappropriate Materials 

All surfaces in the bathroom should be impervious to moisture otherwise it will swell, rot or discolor with time. This excludes soft wood, non-waterproof mdf, & particleboard, and fabric. Porous stones such as travertine marble and hardwood should be sealed. 

6. Knocking down resale value 

If you have any inkling that you might move to a new house in the next five years, then you’d do well to keep your bathroom a neutral and bright space that won’t alienate future buyers. Grey and white suites will all stand you in good stead and are easy to personalize with your favorite colors in accessories and furnishings. Consider applying a bathroom wallpaper or add artwork and greenery to make the space yours without jeopardizing a future sale price. When you're ready to sell-up, it's a simple repaint job to get it viewing ready.

7. Leaving out counter space 

While too much clutter is unsightly you should account for creating a little bit of counter space around a vanity unit. Whether it’s a place to put a make-up bag while you’re getting ready or somewhere to park your morning coffee, if you don’t add in a little bit of table-height surface you’ll regret it. 

8. Trying To Squeeze Too Much In 

Avoid overcrowding the bathroom. If you have a separate toilet close by, don’t install one in the bathroom.. Maximize space as much as possible to make the room less cluttered and more comfortable. If the room is too small for a bath and a shower, the shower over the bath is preferable to cramping the room. Wall hung cabinetry and an in-wall toilet cistern will help preserve floor space. 

Buildmatcher's Tip: Sometimes simply changing the side the door swings from can improve the use of the space. 

9. Forgetting finishing touches 

Well-chosen accessories can make or break any design scheme, and the bathroom is no exception. Treat yourself to some top-quality towels – organic cotton towels feel luxurious and are Eco-friendly, too. If you’re short on hidden storage, consider decanting shampoos and shower gels into attractive bottles. Small soaps and bath salts can be stored in glass Kilner jars. 

10. Not considering worst-case scenarios 

Future maintenance can cost thousands if there are problems that can’t be quickly fixed, such as inaccessible taps or pipework, which means you must rip up flooring or damage walls if problems occur. Use fixings that can easily be unscrewed if necessary or perhaps create a false tile or bath front that’ll give easy access to a plumber.

11. Not thinking about height 

The height of a towel rack, the depth of a bath and a slightly too low shower head can mean the difference between an average bathroom and a brilliant one. Think about the tallest and the shortest person in the house, and that could include small children, before deciding where things should go. 

12. Not looking up 

There could be an opportunity to add character to your bathroom by removing a drywall or false ceiling and expanding upwards into the rafters. An eaves space is fabulous over a bath, as is adding a skylight, which allows you to watch the weather while enjoying a soak. It’ll also add value to your house, too. 

13. Not having a back-up bathroom 

At some point during your bathroom project, the water will have to be switched off. How long it’s switched off for depends on the scale of the works you’re undertaking, but if it’s anything longer than a day or two you’re going to need somewhere else to shower and go to the loo. Now might be a good time to go on holiday or visit friends. If you stay at home, then a Portaloo might be a good investment, and you may find yourself using the gym (and its showers) a lot more than usual. 

14. Not filling the bath 

One of the biggest nightmares a homeowner can face is springing a leak in the bathroom. Luckily, there are a few things to do when you’re installing to protect yourself against any future disasters. The bath overflow needs to be checked when its plumbed in and if you half- fill the bath with water before applying your sealant, it will account for the extra weight and flex which should stop cracks appearing. 

15. Having mixed styles 

Finding a style and sticking with it is incredibly important. The one style ensures consistency throughout your bathroom, avoiding any potential style clashes. It’s also important to consider the style and color scheme used in the rest of your home, as you’ll want to have consistency throughout. When walking between rooms, they should feel like they belong in the same home and not like a collection of interior trends from different decades.

16. Moving plumbing fixtures 

Moving plumbing fixtures is by far the most common and the costliest mistake in bathroom renovations. If you choose to move your bathroom fixtures around, you’ll need to invest in new plumbing. This can easily take your renovation cost up by a few thousand dollars. Serviceseeking.com.au estimates bathroom plumbing costs to be $5,000 on average! Before you think of moving your plumbing fixtures around, consider if you really need to do it. 

Buildmatcher's Tip: Quite often, you can remodel your bathroom around your existing fixtures. The money that you save by doing so can also be spent on accessorizing your space or on higher grade products. 

17. Using stone tiles in moist areas 

Another common renovation mistake that people make is using stone tiles in the wet areas of their bathroom. While stone tiles look incredibly elegant, they are naturally porous. Over time, water will seep into these pores and damage the tiles. You’ll unnecessarily need to re-tile your floors if you opt for stone tiles in the first place. Be sure that it will be an expensive affair because natural stone tiles are expensive to start off with.

If you’re set on using stone tiles, consider switching to stone-look tiles for the wet areas of your bathroom instead. Our stone-look tiles replicate the look of natural stone perfectly and are available in a range of styles, colors, and designs. Alternatively, porcelain tiles are the most popular choice. You’ll find a range of such tiles at our store. 

18. Considering beauty over functionality 

One of the most common mistakes I see is from bathroom renovators who put design aesthetics before functionality. Sure, if you’re spending around $20,000 on a bathroom renovation, you want it to look great. But not if that means it is at the expense of the functionality of the bathroom. If any fixture or accessory in your bathroom is not functional, you’ll soon feel the need to replace it. This will unnecessarily cost you in the future.

Here, with Buildmatcher we offer a complete range of bathroom products which perfectly blend style and functional. Our products are specially designed to be in line with the latest trends, while also offering all the functionality you need. When you choose our products, you’ll get the best of good looks as well as features and functionality. 

19. Making Your Bathroom Tricky To Clean 

A drain serves two purposes, not only the obvious to drain the water but, to act to trap unwanted matter such as hair to ensure the bathrooms drainage pipes are kept clear. As peculiar as it is, a great deal of people position their drain in the center of the base of their shower. When you think about this, it’s not ideal as you’ll actually be standing over the drain when showering and in turn block it. Therefore, ideally consider your drain to not be positioned directly under the spray of your shower head. 

20. Lazy layouts 

The layout of your space is incredibly important. If you don’t plan this aspect correctly, chances are you’ll find yourself unable to get out of the shower without walking into something, not being able to comfortably sit on the toilet and unable to reach the sink to wash your hands. To avoid this error, plan, plan, plan! It is possible to plan your space yourself however if you don’t feel 100% confident, hire an expert.

You can also visit your local trade store and speak with people there, or even a trip to IKEA can be great to help you plan your space.When it comes to a practical space like a bathroom, function has to come before form. Make sure you allow enough space between sanitary ware so people can move around and sit or stand comfortably – for example, there should be at least 60cm between the toilet and anything that’s in front of it. Towel rails should be fitted within easy grabbing distance of the bath or shower and cupboard and shower doors need to open without obstruction. 

21. Poor pipe planning 

But before planning your layout, there’s a more important underlying issue to address first: where are your pipes going to go? Start with the soil stack, the wide pipe that carries off waste water from your sanitary ware. Your loo needs to be a maximum of 6m from the soil pipe to allow for proper drainage.

Showers, baths and basins should be a maximum of 4m away. Consider how smaller pipes will reach the soil pipe, as this may be affected by the layout and condition of your underfloor joists. 

22. Switching things around unnecessarily 

If you’re renovating an existing bathroom and the layout already makes sense, think carefully before switching sanitary ware around. Moving pipes can quickly become expensive and can raise more problems than it solves. If you do want to switch things up, make sure you consult a plumber first to make sure your plan is feasible. 

23. Thinking too big for a small space 

Your ideal bathroom may include a roll-top bath, walk-in shower, twin basins and oodles of storage but you have to work with what you’ve got or risk ending up with a cramped, impractical space. Pick just one of your dream items – the roll-top bath, for example – and keep everything else compact. If your bathroom is really tiny, add lux touches in your finishes instead. 

24. Not including enough storage 

Towels, shampoo bottles, toothbrushes, spare toilet rolls – you’ll need to find room for all these things and more in your bathroom. If possible, include a mixture of open shelving for attractive toiletries and accessories, and hidden storage for more day-to-day bits and pieces. A mirrored cabinet with integrated electric toothbrush and razor charger is a neat storage option, while built-in shelving, cupboards and drawers will help you make the most of every inch of space. 

25. Poor ventilation 

The bathroom is the most humid room in the house, making it the ideal breeding ground for mold if you’re not careful. Invest in a good extractor fan that stays on on a timer after you’ve left the room. This is especially important if you have an internal bathroom with no windows.

The definition of horror is finding tiny black specks of mold marching up your newly painted walls and ceilings. This is generally caused by poor ventilation. Even if you have good open able windows, you will still need an exhaust fan or IXL-tastic to extract the steam. Tip Paint the walls with oil based or mold-resistant bathroom to lessen the risk of mold taking hold. 

26. Poor drainage 

Every wet area floor requires “fall”. The floor must gently slope towards the floor waste to allow water to drain away efficiently. Large format floor tiles make this difficult, particularly in a small bathroom.

The tiler sets the level of fall by laying a sand and cement screed (topping) that grades toward the waste. The tiles are then laid over top. If the area is small and the tiles are large, they will be difficult to manipulate over the slope and require a lot of cuts. The maximum workable floor tile size is 300 X 300mm. If you have your heart set on large format tiles then consider a linear floor waste.

A quick tip on linear floor wastes; If your design requires a linear floor waste that spans the room (2 meters) +)consider installing two at half the size. This will make cleaning much easier and will reduce the cost significantly. 

27. Choosing incompatible fittings 

Dream of starting the day being pummeled by a rainfall shower and massage jets? So do we, but before you go splashing out, make sure your water system is up to the job. Speak to a plumber or bathroom specialist to work out whether your current system can handle something like a power shower and be prepared to upgrade your boiler, water tank or pump if need be. 

28. Wasting water 

Water is precious. Waste it and you’re not only pouring money down the drain, but you’re not doing the planet any favors either. Luckily there are plenty of tricks that can help you save water without having to ditch your daily soak in the tub or power shower. Start by fixing any leaky taps. Look out for shower-heads with the water-saving label, install a low-flush toilet, or pop a brick in the cistern if you have an older model – just check with your plumber before you try this! 

29. Using the wrong finishes in the wrong places 

While it’s OK to use ordinary wallpaper in some areas of a bathroom, you’ll need to make sure you have a top-of-the-range extractor fan to prevent it from peeling over time. If you’re using wallpaper in an area that’s directly exposed to splashing or steam, place it behind glass, or choose a waterproof wallpaper, some of which can also be used in wet rooms. As for paint, go for a bathroom-friendly option that resists damp and mold. 

30. Careless lighting 

Bad bathroom lighting is at best impractical and at worst dangerous. Make sure you layer up a mix of general lighting, task lighting (for make-up etc.) and mood lighting for unwinding in the tub. If you want to include statement fittings such as a chandelier or sconces, it’s essential that you choose an option with an ingress protected (IP) rating, which is safe to use in wet areas.

31. Poor Task Lighting 

Many bathroom activities require good lighting. Shaving, waxing applying makeup and hair styling are difficult to do well in general ambient light. Including some well-designed task lighting is a must. In short, install a large mirror over the basin or vanity along with some lighting that directs back onto the face. There are many sleek lighting options available rather than the dated Hollywood style makeup lights. 

32. Removing The Bath 

Taking the bath out of a home will affect the resale. It doesn’t matter which bathroom it is located in, just as long as there is one. But if there is already a bath in the home, a second will not add value. 

33. Not having a tiling plan 

It doesn’t matter how good your tiler is – leave them to tile your bathroom without giving them any guidance and you risk getting results you’re not happy with. Small details, such as making sure the tiles in a niche follow on seamlessly with wall tiles, will give your bathroom that coveted designer edge. Make sure you alert your tiler to any details like this, ideally by drawing up a plan of exactly how you would like your tiles to be laid. 

34. Putting wall tiles on the floor 

This may sound obvious, but when you fall in love with a particular tile design it can be easy to overlook how suited it is for the task at hand. Always check whether a tile is hardy enough before using it on your bathroom floor, or you may find yourself living with unsightly chips before too long. Similarly, some floor tiles are just too heavy to use on partition walls. Many designs are suitable for both walls and floors but if in doubt, ask your tile supplier before you buy.

35. Overlooking the importance of good grouting 

Plain tiles can be given an instant overhaul simply by choosing the right grout. A darker grout can create an eye-catching pattern in its own right, while a brightly-colored grout will make an even bigger style statement. If you want your grouting to last and not leak, go for epoxy grout rather than cement grout, as it’s highly durable, waterproof and practically stain-proof. It's also a stylish way to add character to a white bathroom. 

36. Doing it all yourself Is a Big Mistake 

Unless you’re a seriously experienced DIYer, there are certain bathroom renovation jobs that are best left to the professionals. Getting your plumbing right is essential and can be easier said than done thanks to rules about pipe widths, angles and drainage gradients. Hiring a plumber could save you time, stress and money in the long run. Similarly, proper waterproofing is a huge issue for bathrooms, and it will need to be inspected and signed off my a licensed certifier. For any electrics, play it safe and hire an electrician. 

37. Not asking the experts 

Even if your D.I.Y skills are second to none, it’s still a good idea to consult expert advice before you start your project. Many high street and high-end bathroom stores have design teams who can help you iron out any flaws in your bathroom plan. In some instances, seeking advice is non-negotiable. If you want to knock down walls, move or add windows or install new joists, you’ll need to check with your local building control office about whether you need Building Regulation approval. 

38. Not protecting the rest of the house 

Every building project generates dust. Hauling heavy equipment and products to and from the bathroom can also scuff up your floors. Minimize the damage by protecting floors of hallways and any other rooms used to access the bathroom with a temporary floor covering, such as Correx®. If your bathroom is an ensuite, cover bedroom furniture with dust sheets. 

39. Blowing the budget 

Bathrooms are notorious for harboring hidden costs. Rusted pipes, rotting joists, dodgy electrics and endemic mold are just some of the nasty surprises you might uncover once you start lifting up tiles and floorboards. This is very easy to happen in a wet area. What starts out as a minor makeover can very quickly morph into money pit material. To avoid over capitalizing keep the total cost of the renovation below 1.5% of the value of the property. 

Here are some Buildmatcher's tips For minimizing costs :

• Design for standard fixtures and fittings to avoid the expense of custom making. 

• Purchase all your tiles; tap ware, sanitary ware, cabinets and accessories before you start. Watch sales and auctions for good buys. 

• Take photos of the existing fixtures and fittings in situ so that you can advertise on eBay or Gumtree to sell or give away and at the very least reduce the rubbish removal fees. 

• If you are able to maintain the configuration of the bathroom, you can usually save on plumbing and the time and expense of council approval process. 

• If at all possible, allow a 15 to 20% contingency fund so you’re prepared for the unexpected.

40. Going too big... or too small with tiles 

Use oversized tiles in a small bathroom and chances are you’ll end up having to cut the edge pieces down to size, which can look messy and awkward. But go too small, and your bathroom may feel too busy. Medium-sized floor tiles around 45x45cm are often the safest bet in a small space. You can go a bit smaller on the walls, as long as you limit the pattern and color palette. 

41. Hire licensed tradespeople – don’t just D.I.Y it! 

You might be tempted to save money by DIYing certain parts of your bathroom, however, unless you’re a trades person, there are certain aspects that you definitely shouldn’t D.I.Y! One of these is your plumbing.(I know I am repeating myself, because it is just that important.) Hiring a licensed professional might be a little more costly in the short-term, but it ensures that your job is done right the first time and will save you money in the long-term by avoiding costly fixes or a water damage disaster. Of course, professionals can still make errors, so be sure they provide quality guarantee or warranty, ask your friends and family for suggestions and speak with the tradespeople before hiring to be comfortable that they understand what you’re trying to achieve.

You might be tempted to save money by DIYing certain parts of your bathroom, however, unless you’re a trades person, there are certain aspects that you definitely shouldn’t D.I.Y! One of these is your plumbing.(I know I am repeating myself, because it is just that important.) Hiring a licensed professional might be a little more costly in the short-term, but it ensures that your job is done right the first time and will save you money in the long-term by avoiding costly fixes or a water damage disaster. Of course, professionals can still make errors, so be sure they provide quality guarantee or warranty, ask your friends and family for suggestions and speak with the tradespeople before hiring to be comfortable that they understand what you’re trying to achieve.