#Five Pesos

[choccorin]

bought him some konpeitō :3

[geddyqueer]

He has never married, says he is a tantric sex expert and considers his five Bullmastiff dogs, cloned from a past pet, his "four-legged children."

girl...

[pesoprima]

[littlestpersimmon]

Hi all, I am posting this on behalf of my close family member, who is in desperate need of mutual aid.

My cousin's family is in a very difficult position- they are a family of five, where all three children are all students, with one still a minor. A few months ago, my aunt started feeling unbearable pain on her shoulders- which radiated to her spine- after a bunch of tests, the Drs surmised that her cervical area is inflamed due to repetitive strain, and diagnosed her with cervical spondylosis.

My aunt deteriorated acutely, leading to pinched nerves over her arms as well, with limited movement where she is unable to walk.- which, needless to say, she is incapacitated from work.

She has also suffered from Dengue last month- which has lead to so many medical bills.

Me and my cousin made a fundrazr campaign, as gofundme currently does not work with philippine banks. This campaign is to help my aunt and her family recover from medical debt, to make sure she has her supply of necessary medication, and physical therapy to get her back to health and to make sure her family remains housed, with their basic necessities met.

We are from the global south, where Healthcare is often a luxury, so any help from those with disposable income would mean life.

One usd is equal to around 50 pesos, which can buy water and a bowl of rice. Every donation counts, and is deeply, deeply appreciated. Thank you so much.

0/ 2.5k usd funded as of posting.

[twopoppies]

The article is in Spanish, but it's a very trustworthy source from Argentina. That Roger was a fucking leech, hope he rots in jail

https://www. infobae. com/sociedad/policiales/2024/11/08/pesos-argentinos-para-comprar-droga-negocios-en-comun-y-dias-libres-el-oscuro-control-de-rogelio-nores-sobre-liam-payne/

This is so fucking disturbing. I know fans have had a bad feeling about Roger for a while. It sounds like they weren’t wrong.

Today, Nores is charged with abandoning Liam Payne and killing him , as well as supplying and facilitating him with drugs, in a relationship that sources in the case describe as “almost Maradona-esque, a friend of the champion , like those who surrounded Diego at his worst .” To charge him, Madrea and his team analyzed 800 hours of footage from the CasaSur hotel and opened Liam’s phone. In addition, they took a large number of testimonies, including that of Liam’s father, Geoff Payne.

Liam's father said the same thing that the courts were able to confirm through the analysis of communications and the comparison of other testimonies: that Nores, after meeting Payne in Miami at the beginning of this year, became the force that dominated his life. If the Payne family wanted to know how the singer was, then they should contact Rogelio. He was not just another friend of Liam's, under any circumstances. Geoff Payne himself said it: "Roger" was always the intermediary. "He is better than ever," he would have told the family when asked.

And this explains the charge of abandonment of a person. It is not about the fact that the businessman did not come to the singer's aid, but about the long road that led to the CasaSur hotel.

The businessman would have become a sort of de facto manager . Although they did not have a specific contract in this regard, sources in the case say that Nores operated as an "investment advisor" and that they had business in common in view of Payne's possible return to the world stage. For this, the singer's recovery from his addiction to drugs and alcohol was key. He just had to be detoxified.

Nores accompanied Payne in a deep detoxification treatment in the United States. There, a psychiatrist prescribed sertraline, the antidepressant that was found in the toxicology test on the singer's body. The specialist said it clearly: if you mix alcohol and cocaine with sertraline, the result can be lethal.

Then, another treatment in Spain was carried out, which also failed. So they ended up in Argentina. Payne was put up in a prestigious five-star hotel that was used to hosting big rock stars. They kicked him out of there. They even visited a local psychiatrist, who testified in the file. After the five-star hotel, they both went to the Patagones polo club with the singer's last girlfriend, Kate Cassidy, where the singer was photographed wearing a helmet and heels on a horse. They spent a few days there. However, Payne quickly became nervous and left the place.

Thus, they arrived at the CasaSur hotel in Palermo on the Sunday before the death. Liam did not even have a bag. There, according to the testimonies and analysis that are part of the case of the prosecutor Madrea, Nores' control would have been much more evident, with alleged orders to the hotel staff to report each expense. Nores, this time, managed Payne's expenses , while receiving calls for each whiskey, champagne or tequila that the former One Direction member ordered, with physical money delivered at the reception. The evidence also speaks of "free days" when Liam could consume cocaine.

The day he died, precisely, was a “day off.”

Thus, Nores frequently returned to the hotel to top up the bill. Payne, meanwhile, insisted on the phone, asking for Argentine pesos to pay the dealers who offered him cocaine, with photos of the bags they offered him and the corresponding prices. The prosecution suspects that Nores had obtained cocaine for him himself, which led to the second charge against him.

Meanwhile, hotel cameras filmed Liam as he wandered the halls , drunk and with a distant look.

For the time being, Nores is free, with his passport handed over to the courts and a ban on leaving the country, while he awaits being summoned for questioning by Judge Laura Bruniard. Article 106 of the Criminal Code, which defines the crime of abandonment followed by death, speaks of “anyone who endangers the life or health of another, either by placing him or her in a situation of helplessness, or by abandoning to their fate a person who is incapable of taking care of himself or who must be maintained or cared for, or who the author himself has incapacitated .” Here, the alleged supply of narcotics plays a key role.

If convicted, he could face up to 15 years in prison. Given the amount of the sentence, the crime is not bailable.

[ezra-trait]

lagunas – moles

facial + body moles set inspired by mexican singer peso pluma

masc & fem frame; teen-elder

base game compatible

one variant, five opacities

download @ sfs

check under the cut for more details

the different opacities each over a different skintone, the opacity used for the the sims in the previews is the third one

can be found in three categories: birthmark (face), birthmark (arms) and mole (right cheek). having birthmark (face) is needed for the rest to work

they mix pretty well with cerberus' moles n1 and helgatisha's moles n1 & n2 in case you want more moles in your sim :]

and these are the custom thumbnails !

[osidius-el-enfatico]

in case you didn't know, Chilean nobel laureate and five thousand pesos face Gabriela Mistral just had a bunch of letters to her girlfriend discovered.

this one says:

"I have lived centuries [...] looking for you.

the best thing isn't eating oatmeal, it's eating Doris.

I don't have any appetite left after last night's banquet!"

mid century lesbians, come get your mid century lesbians

[igetthedisneybox]

So.

Kids always get up to wild shit. Especially when their little.

Everyone's parent has a story of how their kid nearly gave them a heart attack.

What stories do the madrigals have regarding your next gen fic?

Oh god, so many.

Like, soooo many.

I decided to do just the biggest heart-attack inducing event for each kid.

Miranda: She's well-behaved, so the biggest moment was when she first got her gift at age eight and almost floated off into the stratosphere XD.

Amelia: At fifteen, she snuck out with her girlfriend and they got caught kissing....rather passionately.

Sofía: Got angsty one time at age ten and decided that she wanted to live in the walls like her father did. She was missing for half a day, and everyone was panicking.

Princesa: At the ripe old age of six, she was experimenting with her gift and almost caused a rock slide.

Fuega: She was twelve, and got so angry at one of the townspeople that instead of bursting into flames, she just straight up passed out for a minute.

Leta: That time she tried to climb the walls of the Encanto and fell like fifty feet, breaking her arm. I'd say she was around sixteen or so.

Andrés: When he first got his gift and just straight up vanished from sight lol.

Carlos: When he duplicated his birthday cake one too many times and made himself sick. He was five, this was the night he got his gift.

Avila: When she was nine, she wanted to see if she could freeze herself in time. Turns out she can, but when she's frozen, she can't unfreeze herself until it wears off. The family was actually very worried that she'd be stuck like that forever.

Amada: Got angry when she was eleven, and went to go sulk in the town's canal. Turns out, her water powers also let her breathe underwater, which no one knew.

Tomás: Tried to hover a giant wagon with his powers, and almost dropped it on his head. He was around eight or so.

Rómulo: When he was seven, he used his super speed to jump out of one of Mariana's portals, and ended up running himself straight into the ground. He was very injured. Did that stop him from doing it again? No.

Zoe: Straight up wandered away from her family while in town when she was five. They spent hours looking for her, only to discover that she'd found a tree to take a nap under.

Hugo: He befriended a big-ass spider, and let it crawl around on his head for a few months, until it died. He was nine.

José: Swindled a few men from the city for around 100 Colombian Pesos. They were not happy, and were actually probably gonna hurt José if they didn't get their money back. Luckily the family were able to yeet them out of the Encanto before anything got bad. José was nine, and very very very grounded.

Héctor: When he was five, he turned into an elephant to show off, and passed out after three seconds of transformation.

Óscar: Soon after he got his gift, he had a huge meltdown because he was seeing ghosts and things that other people couldn't see. The family was worried he was seriously hurt or something.

Beatriz: Was trying so hard to keep a surprise birthday party a secret, she projectile vomited all over the kitchen table. Poor kid was six, and so embarassased.

Lidia: Had a temper tantrum at age five, and made a scribble monster that wrecked havoc on the town until Pepa made it rain.

[tiredsmashbros]

🍔 TIREDSMASHBROS INTRODUCTION

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ W E L C O M E ! ! 🍔🍟🥤

🌿 howdy! my name is tomm + tsb + tired. i use both he/him and they/them pronouns. i'm queer, demiboy + pan + aroace spectrum, and i am an adult, twenty-one ; jan. 10.

🪵 i'm a comic, furry, and multi-fandom artist. i specialize in digital art primarily, minor wood handcrafts, bracelets, or play on my silly harmonica. currently senior year in college.

🌻 i struggle with dyslexia, i apologize in advance for any minor grammar errors! i'm a bit slow responding to responses + mentions so i'd appreciate some patience!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ F A N D O M S ! ! 🍔🍟🥤

SHOWS / FILMS 📺; {bold = fixated atm} ↳ my little pony, south park, animaniacs, looney tunes, mickey mouse, ducktales, felix the cat, bluey, total drama island, grojband, danvs, regular show, gravity falls, ninjago, teenage mutant ninja turtles, moomin valley, how to train your dragon, centuarworld, dragon ball, one piece, naruto, fullmetal alchemist, jojo's bizarre adventures, hlvrai, khonjin house, eddsworld, helluva boss, hazbin hotel, lackadaisy, trolls, better call saul/breaking bad, smg4, meta runner, murder drones, fairy oddparents: a new wish, popee the performer, the great gatsby, holes, the sixth sense, kingsman, matilda, beetlejuice, deadpool and wolverine

VIDEO GAMES 🎮 ; {bold = fixated atm} ↳ minecraft, five night at freddy's, cuphead, super mario bros, sonic, undertale, bendy and the ink machine, poppy playtime, baldi's basic, garten of banban, cult of the lamb, friday night funkin, pizza tower, parappa, amanda the adventurer, choo choo charles, epic mickey, rabbits, spyro, rayman, duck season, billie bust up, genshin, wuthering waves, god of war: ragnarok, red dead redemption

NOVELS + COMICS / MANGA 📚 ; { bold = fixated atm} ↳ scott pilgrim, warrior cats, garfield, charlie brown, ganbare nakamura-kun, heartstopper, goosebumps series, mashle, usagi yojimbo, promised neverland, beastars, show-ha shoten, gokurakugai, + above

MISC ; {bold = fixated atm} ↳ dawko, matpat, fuhnaff, coryxkenshin, dashiexp, isaacwhy + the group chat, (yep) the boys, sam and colby, cg5, peso pluma, welcome home, sherlock & co

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ C O M I C S ! ! 🍔🍟🥤

MARIO COMICS 🍄 ↳ DONE mario and luigi superstars ; sketch comic ↳ NEW !! DONE bowuigi rewritten ; sketch comic SMG4 COMICS 🧢 ↳ DONE smg34: lip bite prologue {part one} ↳ DONE smg34: lip bite : chapter one {part two} ↳ WIP [HAITUS] !! smg34: lip bite : chapter two {part three}

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ T S B : S M G 4 A U ! ! 🍔🍟🥤

🍔 my smg4 oc, TSB! a yellow, white, blue, burger-loving, cartoon individual with a propeller hat who's beloved for his silly, looney, and mania personality. stick around and attempt to uncover the mysterious lore hidden within this animated maniac! if you want to know more, check out his tags, comics, and spotify playlist !!

#tsb official ↳ all official art and posts made by me #tsb / emmet eggs + #pipedream + #tsari + #tsmg4 ↳ characters + ships #tsb askbox + #tsb theory + #tsb memes ↳ misc content ↳ official tsb reference sheet + official emmet reference sheet

↳ comic tsb: strange, unpredictable, dangerous ↳ comic tsb: smg4, why don't you trust tsb with tari? ↳ comic tsb: outfit change w/ mr. puzzles ↳ fanfic tsb: happy birthday, bluejay [2k] ↳ comic tsb: painting tutorial ↳ NEW !! fanfic tsb: memories part one ↳ NEW !! comic tsb: memories part two

💛 thank you for stopping by, and hope you have a wonderful visit !!

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : THAT’S DADDY

“Okay Mia.” You start, sitting back trying to get comfortable. “I’m going to show you a picture and you tell me who they are. You’ve met them all before so this will be easy.”

Mia nods, “Ohh okay, is this like that tiktok video my cousin did?”

“Yehp.” You smile and set up the phone to record her and then grab your iPad to show her pictures.

“Let’s start easy.” You say smiling. “Who’s this?”

Mia rolls her little eyes, “That’s daddy.”

Jack then throws a gaze at you two from his spot across the room. “Well don’t sound too excited there bug.”

Mia chuckles, “Sorry.”

You start showing her different pictures, to which she would get some correct and some wrong.

“Ohhh, who’s this?” You show her the screen and smile at her reaction.

“That’s my boyfriend.” She shrugs.

You gasp, “Mia, stop calling Tom Holland your boyfriend.”

She shrugs, “Z let’s me call him that.”

Jack is shaking his head, “You need to have crushes on boys your own age, actually never mind.”

Mia leans her head on your shoulder, waiting for the next set of pictures.

“That’s Nino Urby.” She laughs. “He looks silly with that hat.”

“Alright who’s this?”

Mia gasps, “Daddy.”

You shake your head and show her more pictures.

“Daddy again.”

“Mia.” You start laughing. “Alright these last two.”

Mia takes in a deep breath in admiration and awe. “My daddy.”

“Wow.” Jack says, “Are you showing her different pictures of me throughout the years or what?”

You snort and shake your head. “Nope.”

He raises his eyebrows and starts heading to where you and Mia are seated. “Then what pictures did you show her?”

“You really want to know?” You ask him.

Mia gasps and takes the iPad away from you. “NOO HE CAN’T.” And she runs away.

“Uh-what is going on?”

You shrug, “You’ll see when I post the video.”

*************

After dinner, you had posted the video but didn’t mention it to Jack.

You were doing your final rounds around the house, cleaning up when Jack storms inside your shared bedroom.

He shows you his phone “SHE CALLED MICHAEL B JORDAN, PESO PLUMA AND MC STEAMY DADDY?!!!!”

You laugh, “That’s all her.”

“Nooo, that’s definitely you. Are you lying to my child?” He asks grumpy.

“Babe, it’s just her messing with you.”

He raises his eyebrows “So she doesn’t hear you say anything while you’re watching your hospital show?”

You shrug and look behind him at the little trouble maker. “Mia, get your butt over here and tell daddy you were playing.”

Mia crossed her arms, “Bout’ what?” She looks at Jack’s phone in his hands. “Oh about all my different daddys?”

Jack groans “BABE.”

You laugh, “okay, okay, I see where that could be an issue.”

Mia laughs, “I’m just playing.” She goes and hugs her dads legs. “You get jelly fast.”

Jack picks her up and bops her nose. “You raise my blood pressure at just 8 years old, imagine when you’re a teen.”

Mia smiles, “You love me though.”

“That I do my baby, that I do.” Jack gives her a kiss on the cheek and they make their way to your bed.

“So are we watching my husband? Or my other husband? I have options.” You say, following after them.

Jack glares at you, but Mia shakes her head. “How bout we watch daddy’s other wife?”

You gasp, “Oh she did not.”

Jack smirks, “That’s my daughter.” As he high fives her and looks for something to watch.

*****************

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree @toocriticalharlow @thefemalestorywriter @lightsoutstyles @violetslays818 @fantasywritersstuff @vanwritesfan-fiction

[fatehbaz]

The Grupo Tortuguero Comcáac, the Sea Turtle Group of the Comcáac people, in El Desemboque de los Seris is fighting to increase the population of sea turtles, a sacred animal, in the Gulf of California. In the past five years they have managed to release more than 8,000 olive ridley sea turtles (Lepidochelys olivacea) hatchlings along 14 kilometers (9 miles) of the Mancha Blanca and El Faro beach. [...]

Mayra Estrella’s father always spoke to her about sea turtles. [...] “We are more tied to the leatherback sea turtle, but we are also connected to the green sea turtle [...].” Mayra Estrella [...] has dedicated 23 years to working with these reptiles or marine chelonians, earning her the affectionate name “turtle mom” among her colleagues and the people in her community of El Desemboque de los Seris – or Haxöl Iihom, its original name in cmiique iitom, the language of the Comcáac people. She earned her nickname after others saw the love she has for the little animals that leave the nesting pen in the turtle camp located between the desert and the sea in the municipality of Pitiquito, Sonora, in northwestern Mexico. 

This camp was created to ensure the survival of turtles in oceans, not only because they are seriously threatened, but also because of what they represent for the Comcáac people. Because of this, Mayra Estrella and a group of 20 others in her community [...] are working to protect [...] turtles and their nests [...]. In the last five years she has witnessed a growth in the number of nests and hatchlings released, with more than 8,000 olive ridley turtles (Lepidochelys olivacea) released into the waters of the Gulf of California. By the end of November 2021, this figure is estimated to be 11,000 hatchlings.

---

“My dad loved to tell me stories, songs and tales about our ancestors,” Estrella adds. “He told me that the leatherback sea turtle [Dermochelys coriacea], was a man before becoming a turtle [...].” It has been several years since the community has seen a leatherback sea turtle in the area. [...] [T]he leatherback sea turtle is one of the most endangered turtles in the world. The International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) classifies it as critically endangered. [...]

While waiting for a leatherback sea turtle to return, Mayra Estrella takes care of the rest of the turtles that come lay their eggs along 11 kilometers (7 miles) of the Mancha Blanca beach and 3 (2 miles) of the El Faro beach. At night, when the female turtles finish laying their eggs and return to the sea, the turtle team collects and takes them to the camp to protect them from coyotes (Canis latrans), their natural predators in the desert.

Their workdays last up to 12 hours [...]. Over time, they began receiving funding from the state during the nesting seasons. However, Mayra Estrella maintains that “the work achieves more than the resources because [the funds] are cut off too soon.” She explains that they are currently “working without one peso,” though this does not stop them because they love their work. [...] Germán Barrera works at CONANP, is an analyst of protected natural areas and the technical manager of the Comcáac turtle project, where he serves as liaison between the indigenous community and CONANP. [...] According to Barrera, the Comcáac Nation team works hard without seeing limited funds as a stumbling block [...]. “Since the start of the project, there has not been a single year that they have not carried out activities. [...]”

---

The Grupo Tortuguero Comcáac (Sea Turtle Group of the Comcáac Nation) belongs to the national network of the Grupo Tortuguero de las Californias (Sea Turtle Group of the Californias), for which Karen Oceguera – a marine biologist and researcher – represents more than 50 teams throughout nine Mexican states. For 12 years she has supported the process of the Comcáac turtle catchers on nesting beaches, providing training and managing permits from the environmental authority [...].

“We haven’t seen a leatherback sea turtle for years, but the turtles we do see and that have increased thanks to conservation efforts is the olive ridley sea turtle, which is the most common species in the entire northwestern region of Mexico and part of the Pacific,” explains Oceguera. [...] “According to the Mexican Official Norm [...], the species is endangered, but in international categories it is considered vulnerable, and so is no longer endangered. I believe this is thanks to the work of many community groups over many years, such as the Comcáac in this case.” [...]

“It is not anecdotal, but formal,” she adds. “According to CONANP, there were between four and seven nests per season [in the Comcáac territory] 10 years ago; now we see more than 50 or 60. This was not seen before and tells the authorities that even with the little support they can give to communities, the work is paying off.”

---

Headline, images, captions, and text by: Astrid Arellano.”Indigenous Comcaac turtle group saves sea turtles in Mexico’s Gulf of California.” Mongabay. As translated in English. 17 February 2022. Story originally published in Spanish at Mongabay’s Latam site on 19 November 2021. [Some paragraph breaks and contractions added by me.]

[anguilliforme]

YOUR TURN !!! BANKNOTE TOUR !!

ooh okay!!!! I have two banknote folders- one for my standard world notes and another for hyperinflation notes and any banknotes too large to fit into the first folder.

the renniks is the latter, i have 45 hyperinflation notes, a couple of my faves:

these nicaraguan ones which have the higher values hastily stamped over with black ink that glows under UV. I'm sure you've seen my fascination with hyperiflation designs before. the rushed desperation of the stamp-over style really gets to me.

here is the hundred trillion dollar note that i stayed up past midnight to make sure nobody outbid me, i got it for far less than a lot of hundred trillions are going for these days.

Also in the folder are my Big notes, for some of these i had to craft my own archive slip out of two XXL slips!

this includes my largest note, the thai 60 baht commemorative note.

Now onto my other folder, this one is considerably larger, and while its not completely filled, it's a few spending sprees away from me needing a new one:

I have mine organised in "kind of alphabetical" order. that just means that i bothered to put my notes in an a-is-for-australia, b-is-for-bhutan order but i didn't bother to alphabetise any more than that. Some of the highlights of the notes:

arabic countries absolutely go off with their designs! i'm a lover of both aesthetics and scripts that aren't latin, so these banknotes appeal greatly.

i've always found the netherland's 2 1/2 banknotes and coins so fun to look at. logically i get that it's just half of five and is probably a lot more useful when it comes to transactions but. fraction on a banknote.

my forgery peso! i got this one at a coin/banknote con last year. it was clearly labelled as a forgery and i was so intrigued about its circumstances that i had to get it.

this french algerian banknote (centre) is my most weak and pathetic banknote. i genuinely thought it was going to crumble in my hand as i put it in the archive slip. i've never been more scared to put a banknote into a slip. it's not coming back out because i don't think it would survive the journey.

[elbiotipo]

My grandpa was one of the last to work for La Forestal. They came to the Argentine Chaco to extract tannin from the quebracho tree. He tells me that every time a huge quebracho was cut down, it fell on the new little trees, not giving the forest time to grow back. A job from sun to sun, on lands stolen from the native peoples of the Chaco, who, along with criollos and immigrants, were also forced into gangs to cut down trees so hard that broke down axes, with trunks meters in diameter, to be pulverized in sweatshop factories and sent as tanin podwer to European industries. La Forestal did not pay you in pesos; you had a coin (my grandpa still has his, it says "Obrero N° 14"), which you presented at the company store, and they gave you whatever (food, booze) they cared to give you, or what they said they had; after all, as my grandfather says, if you didn't know how to read or write, how would you know you were getting less than they said?

And if you went on strike? And if you formed a union? And if you wanted to resist, like the indigenous peoples did? Some boys with a blood-red cap, the Cardenales, criminals taken from prison, would come and kill you, in broad daylight if you were striking, in the middle of the forest if you were alone. Many books tell about hacheros yelling one last long sapucai before killing themselves, because they couldn't stand it anymore.

Who were the owners of this terrible company? English. In the La Forestal HQ in the north of Santa Fe, a beautiful mansion (I understand that it is now a ruin) while the workers lived in mud huts with roofs of palm leaves, every day, the Union Jack was hoisted over Argentine soil, and of course, at five o'clock it was tea time, while all the tannin, loaded on barges and on railways worked by Argentines but owned by the British, went to Europe, and the wealth, of course, to London.

My grandfather lived through the last of this. Perón already came by that time, with worker's rights, unions, rural schools and clinics, the nationalization of railways... Nevertheless, he still had to hunt to eat and work from a young age at the machines of the company, as the company was leaving the country and couldn't even bother to pay a pittance to its workers. It eventually closed most of its operations and came into Argentine hands. But don't think it was because the English had a change of heart. They just found a better source of tannin, the acacias in their African colonies. God knows what crimes they committed there, if this is what they did in the territory of a 'sovereign' country.

And this is the side of the story I know. I cannot yet speak for all the territories the British owned in the Patagonia, some of which are still owned by English millionaries today. Don't come to tell me that the poor innocent English had nothing to do with the genocide that was done to the indigenous peoples in this country.

[octonauts-daily]

Hiiii, love your content, it's how I get info/clips I haven't seen/don't have access to

Do you have any vegimal headcanons? (If you've already said some, I haven't seen them) (the Vegimals are my current hyperfixation)

Oh!!! Thank you! And as for Headcanons, I do have a few, but I’m pretty sure one of mine already exist 😭

Each Vegimal has a favorite Octonaut! Well…there’s five so maybe a couple have two!

Tunip: Shellington and Barnacles

Tominnow: KWAZII !!! 🗣️

Codish: Professor Inkling

Barrot: Dashi

Grouber: Peso, Tweak

Each of them have a specific pot to sleep in!! They usually sleep in the Garden Pod or with Shellington, probably taking over 90% of his bed in the process.

Tominnow prefers to stick with the others, as do Minnows travel in schools! She’s also the second fastest!

Grouber is more likely to be completely fine alone! Groupers are naturally solitary creatures. He loves working with Peso sometimes too!

I love how Barrot stutters a lot, I hc him as having a speech impediment.

That’s all I have at the moment!! The Vegimals are such a wonderful addition to the team!

[sunshyni]

Volleyball&Kisses.

Eunseok × Você

Gênero: fluffy

w.c: 1.2k

n.a: eu tive essa ideia inicialmente com o Jungwoo, mas eu vi essas fotos do Eunseok e imediatamente soube que o plot estava destinado para ele.

WARNINGS: não gostei muito disso, mas eu não quis jogar fora porque gosto do cenário. Menções a Kento Yamazaki, Frozen (porque o Seunghan cantando “Vejo uma porta abrir” não deixa minha cabeça de jeito nenhum e ao anjo Gabriel (???). Jogadores de vôlei, desculpa ai se eu pequei com algum termo!

Boa leitura, docinhos! 💚

Eunseok sempre foi um garoto sossegado, espantosamente silencioso para um garoto do colégio, falava com todo mundo desde que não fosse a pessoa que toma a iniciativa, fazia parte da trindade divina masculina da escola composta por ele, o encantador Sohee e o irritante Seunghan, cobiçados pela grande maioria dos estudantes, você no entanto só tinha uma quedinha por um deles. Eunseok tinha certo grau de miopia e às vezes perdia suas lentes de contato em algum dos treinos dos um bilhão de esportes que ele praticava, forçando-o a utilizar óculos de armação retangular e levemente grossa, como Kento Yamazaki em “Wokatoi”, e você meio que o achava atraente demais com o adereço, torcendo para que, sei lá, as lentes de contato fossem magicamente magnetizadas para a caixa de areia do gato mais próximo.

Naquela tarde ensolarada você descobriria que Eunseok não era o único que manifestava sinais bastante evidentes de TDAH.

— Merda — Você praguejou baixo, segurando a ponte do nariz com as pontas dos dedos enquanto a mão vazia te impedia de encontrar a areia fofinha, embora sua cabeça latejante dissesse que aquela era a melhor escolha a ser feita. Como líder da equipe de vôlei feminino da escola, você estava indo bem até o segundo e penúltimo set, nenhum devaneio lascivo rondando sua mente, absolutamente nenhum pensamento embaraçoso contendo mãos bobas e ágeis, mesmo quando a do Song estalou contra a de Wonbin num high five animado, tudo estava correndo dentro dos conformes, mas aí Eunseok suspendeu a camisa até a altura da testa secando o suor e oferecendo a plateia uma visão privilegiada do seu corpo magro e atlético.

E sabe como é, né? Entre levar uma pancada de bola de vôlei e deixar-se fascinar pela centésima vez pelo garoto que você venera desde o fundamental – e que raramente é tão exibicionista assim – ou jogar seu esporte favorito tirando proveito das suas habilidades conquistadas através de anos de prática, existe um consenso universal sobre a primeira escolha.

— Ei, você tá bem? — Eunseok ajoelhou-se ao seu lado, plantando a mão firme em seu ombro como se estivesse cumprimentando um dos caras do time, com a diferença de que o peso te deixava nervosa. Lentamente, você elevou os olhos, fazendo-os percorrer da camiseta onde se lia “Team Seok” na parte de trás, até as mechas de cabelo castanho-claro que se grudavam no rosto suado e de volta para o olhar arregalado de aflição, Eunseok resplandecia de uma forma tão absurda que para você não seria demasiado ilógico se ele estivesse ali apenas para alertá-la de que teria um filho sendo virgem.

— Sim — Respondeu, depois do que pareceu um s��culo e uma comparação bem óbvia com o anjo Gabriel — Tô só um pouco zonza.

— É, sua testa tá começando a inchar... — Ele constatou, com o cenho franzido de preocupação. Atrás dele, sua parceira de jogo assistia toda aquela cena de filme adolescente, com os braços cruzados e as sobrancelhas elevadas, afinal nem mesmo uma torção no tornozelo te fez perder os últimos dez minutos do set no campeonato interescolar, imagine então quão desprezível deve ser uma bolada segundo seus critérios — Sohee deve ter algum gelo. Vamos lá, você não pode ficar debaixo desse sol quente.

— O que foi que você fez, hyung? — Eunseok manteve os dedos entrelaçados com os seus até chegarem no restaurante de frutos do mar (atraindo muitos olhares, bocas abertas e rostos perplexos), Sohee trabalhava lá nas férias de verão como garçom, todavia quando o pessoal do colégio decidia marcar reuniões no estabelecimento com a intenção evidente de atazaná-lo, o pequeno palco para apresentações tornava-se inteiramente dele e algumas músicas coreanas e internacionais eram entoadas no embalo de uma plateia animada.

— Pensei que você fosse imbatível. Como a mulher maravilha — Seunghan girou o banco alto de forma a ficar de frente para você e Eunseok, especificamente nesse recesso ele tinha se interessado pela vaga de salva-vidas do clube e vivia encharcado com a quantidade de garotas que encenavam quedas e afogamentos apenas para serem resgatadas pelos braços malhados, mas Seunghan costumava ser atencioso com as crianças e suas famílias — Que foi? Sua cabeça dura não te ajudou dessa vez?

— Cala a boca, Seunghan — Como punição, Eunseok confiscou o copo de um drink azul da mão do amigo e o pressionou sobre sua lesão, fazendo você chiar pelo contato do copo gelado contra sua pele e pela proximidade repentina do atleta, sentada no banquinho elevado feito Seunghan ao seu lado, Eunseok se encontrava nitidamente em pé, entre as suas coxas, no entanto ele parecia bastante absorto e responsável pelo pequeno calombo na sua testa para reparar no seu peito subindo e descendo numa velocidade fora do normal.

“Talvez ele estivesse tão perto porque não enxergava muito bem”, seu coração se encheu de esperança com a possibilidade dos óculos entrarem em ação assim, de repente.

— Toma, coloca isso — Sohee estendeu gelo enrolado num pano de prato para substituir o improviso de Eunseok, pelo canto do olho, você percebeu uma conversa não verbal entre os dois integrantes do trio, Seunghan indicava você e Eunseok com a cabeça enquanto Sohee aparentava não entender do que se tratava, até que seus olhos amendoados cresceram numa clara constatação, como quando você descobre que o príncipe Hans não passa de um canalha em “Frozen” — Sungchan hyung tá com uns três palitos de picolé premiado. A gente vai atrás dele.

— Picolé de graça — Seunghan bateu no ombro de Eunseok ao passarem por nós e deixarem apenas o barulho das crianças animadas nas piscinas, e o bater de talheres em mesas distantes do bar. Internamente você se questionou porque aquela atitude insinuava tanto suspense, porém foi incapaz de estudar os fatos quando o hálito mentolado e doce do garoto alcançou suas narinas ao soprar suavemente:

— Por que você não sacou? — Você engoliu em seco, sentindo a febre chegar quando Eunseok pôs a tentativa de bolsa térmica gelada sobre o balcão.

— Saquei o que?

— A bola — Ele sorriu pequeno, optando por dar um tempo para o inchaço e só fitar os seus olhos, suas pupilas se expandindo a cada frase proferida.

— Me distrai — Um ponto de interrogação surgiu no lindo rosto de Eunseok, você ajudou-o afastando o cabelo liso para poder contemplá-lo melhor, mal acreditava que admitiria aquilo — Com você.

— Comigo? Por que? — Eunseok exalava curiosidade e ansiedade, no entanto, dessa vez, quem não percebia o impercebível era você que só conseguia enxergar o rosto sereno e impassível do rapaz, afinal essa era uma de suas especialidades: fingir a mais plena placidez mesmo surtando por dentro.

— Porque... Eunseok, olha, eu sei que você escuta isso todo dia mas... — Durou dois segundos, mas os lábios de Eunseok estavam sobre os seus, agora a boca rosinha brilhava um bocado devido ao gloss que residia nos seus lábios, você pensou que fosse desmaiar quando a mão masculina afastou seus cabelos da nuca e permaneceu bem ali, massageando a pele, fazendo o dedão repousar deliciosamente no centro da sua garganta.

— Gosto de você desde o fundamental — Declarou, irrequieto, piscando e alternando o foco das íris.

— Eu gosto de você desde o fundamental — Vocês sorriram simultaneamente e Eunseok deixou outro beijo sutil nos seus lábios, te roupando a consciência da gravidade e te fazendo sentir como se estivesse flutuando no planeta Terra e não num satélite natural como a lua.

— Então a gente vai ter que competir pra ver quem gosta mais de quem — Você abraçou o corpo dele, um tanto espantada com o fato de que aquilo era real e desceu do banquinho alto para respondê-lo:

— Quem beijar mais vence.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Three Nights in Mexico

Mexico- a beautiful, vast country that Y/N would have otherwise loved to visit if she didn’t have to be responsible for a gang of grown children while she was there.

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader

(Fluff)

4.1k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, drug mention, alcohol use, one night stands, nudity, skinny dipping, cavity searches, vomit, waterborne disease

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests! This is the only Manager!Y/N fic I’ve written about a place I’ve actually been to! XD As a note, if you have not tried a concha I am URGING you to those things r to die for! Also, the incident described in the beginning of this fic was actually based off of a real thing that Steve-O did! Anyways, thank you for the requests and please keep them coming!

The guys were full of giggles as you sat around in those uncomfortable plastic chairs in the Mexican customs office. You started to feel that you were the only person who was taking this remotely seriously, given the fact Knoxville was capturing this whole thing on the camcorder you knew he wasn’t supposed to have there. Even Steve, who was currently receiving a full cavity search on the other side of the very thin wall, thought what was happening was comedy gold. But you really couldn’t feel too bad for him- after all, it was his decision to ask the security agent if he could lay on his back and go through the baggage X-Ray machine (you still had no idea why he let him), and he did intentionally put that condom full of cocaine in his ass as a part of that “Drug Mule” stunt he was planning for the new movie. To nobody’s surprise, the oblong shape in his colon raised a couple red flags. Your heart went out to whatever poor, latex-gloved security agent was currently feeling around in him. For a while, there was nothing but stifled snickers while everyone in the waiting area held their breath, before it was broken by a yelp from the other room and that familiar raspy voice, “Ah- dude! Aren’t you supposed’t take me out to dinner first or somethin’?” How did you even let this happen?

Your high school level understanding of Spanish wasn't helping you in the slightest as you tried to bargain with the custom’s officer, “Uh…¡Necesito ir ahora! ¡Muy urgente, señor!” Why couldn’t it be Bam or Ryan or Johnny who got pulled back there instead of the one guy in the group that actually spoke the damn language? From the other side of the room, Chris raised his hand and chuckled, trying his hand at reasoning with the buff man in the uniform you were pleading, “Hey! I mean- I could stand in for him!” Turning to shoot a ‘shut the fuck up’ glare back at him, you went back to what you were doing. “¡Ellos son actores muy famosos! Yo soy sus agente.” He didn’t budge.

It was moments like these that made you nostalgic for that time you had to bail Steve out of airport custody after that time he had the idea for an awesome stunt- trying to see how long he could keep a cigarette lit inside of a federally owned building: not very long. Sighing, you thought back to that piece of advice Jeff let you in on from his Wildboyz days of traveling abroad with these idiots. For a while you considered if you would really stoop so low as to follow his word, but considering the circumstances, you didn’t really have a choice. Blinking hard under the white fluorescent lights, you hesitantly pulled your wallet out with a sigh and, as sneakily as you could, slipped a couple five-hundred peso notes into the custom officer’s waiting hand. He looked at you, then to the other agents who all clearly saw what you did, and made a gesture to them to open the door.

Knoxville couldn’t believe it. A lady such as yourself, who was always so damn adamant about them obeying the law- did you actually just bribe a customs officer? He didn’t think you had it in you. The entire ride to your hotel in that shitty, little, not private at all shuttle bus full of all the other idiot tourists, he caught a glance here and there of you with this amused look on his face as he just imagined all the ways he was going to hold this over your head. But you didn’t notice- you had better things to worry about, such as the fact Ryan was currently fast asleep on your shoulder and didn’t show any signs of waking up any time soon, or the million questions Bam had been pressing you with since you left the airport. Even after you told him that no, just because it’s not a great idea drink the tap water in Mexico doesn’t mean he should avoid showers or brushing his teeth like the plague and yes, they do have alcohol other than beer and tequila here (including whiskey, which he was particularly concerned about), he still had more damn questions. “Hey- hey, Y/N. D’they have skate parks in Mexico?” Wordlessly nodding, you leaned your head against the cool bus window. “What about McDonald’s- d’they have that?” You squeezed your eyes shut at his insistence- it was like dealing with a four year old. Groaning, you rubbed the space between your eyes, “Yes, Bam. They have McDonald’s in Mexico.” You knew his high school education didn’t leave him with the most awareness of the world outside of the states, but you didn’t think he was that stupid. Christ- he’d been to Cabo for Viva La Bam! Letting out a sigh of relief, Bam sat back in the stiff little bus seat that probably hadn’t been cleaned in years and nodded, thinking out loud, “I could make do with that, yeah...”

That night, after everyone got unpacked, the guys decided to go out to have a few drinks, especially after a bit of animated convincing and high inference language from Steve, who went on and on about how they were gonna fuckin’ party tonight, and that last time he was in Mexico he was just swarmed with chicks who were fiending for a piece of the ole’ Steve-O. Hearing that, the guys were more than eager to jump at that opportunity, leaving you and Ryan, who was too tired to party that night, to sit back in the room. Taking a sip from the bottle in his hand, he looked up with half lidded eyes and held it out to you, “Want some?” You shrugged from where you sat on the bed as your eyes stayed fixed on whatever movie was playing on hotel cable. “Nah, m’alright.”

The night went by pretty quietly after that- for you, of course: you watched some tv and got to bed at eleven or so. It wouldn’t be until the next day where you would catch word of all the shit that went down while you were peacefully asleep. And as the early morning sun came streaming in your window picturesquely, you stirred in your bed to discover that Bam, who was fast asleep, was lying by your side, which is both a nightmare you had definitely had before and a sentence you never thought you’d say. Panicking, you peeled his arms off of you and hurriedly sat up to survey the damage, notably the fact that the room was completely empty besides the three of you- three including Ryan, who felt as if he’d spent the night with his head in the minibar and was about this close to vomiting in his shoe, still hadn’t left his chair and was slowly blinking awake. “Ryan! What the hell happened last night?” Groggily, at first, he began to recount the story he got secondhand from Bam.

Everything had been going fine until right about two am at the bar, because as we all know, the road to cultural understanding begins and ends with beer- well, tequila in Steve’s case. Three hours at the shitty little bar near the hotel, and Bam still couldn’t get a drink, which had absolutely nothing to do with his lack of language skills. They had been relying on Steve, which was getting hard considering how popular he was that night given how many shots he was buying for random strangers. Bam had to look up and yell to speak to him, due in part to both the loud music and the distance between the bar stool and on top of the bar where he was standing. “Hey-hey dude. Can you ask for some Jack Daniel’s?” Steve was more occupied with the cheering crowd he had attracted from the Payaso de Rodeo he was doing standing on the bar top, made more impressive was how well he was dancing after downing that fifth of tequila. Turning to the bartender with a grin, he held up two fingers and shouted, “¡Mas chupitos, por favor! ¡Mezcal!” There was only one word in that sentence Bam understood, and he was pretty sure the word for whisky is the same no matter what language you say it in. Johnny, who happened to be sitting next to him at the bar groaned, lamenting his own language barrier he encountered trying to chat up the hot chick next to him, and said no nobody in particular, “Not with the fuckin’ Spanish again…” as if they wernt in a country whose official language was Spanish. Throwing his hands in the air, Bam turned to him, exasperated, “That’s what I’m sayin’!”

That’s around when Bam decided to leave the bar, stumbling alone through the streets of Mexico City to get back to the room: hungry, sober, and mad about it. He found you and Ryan still awake. Ryan shot you a ‘what’s his problem?’ look as Bam threw himself onto the bed, but given your years of expereince dealing with his pissy nonsense, you could sort of read him. Angrilly grumbling to himself, he didn’t even hear you as you punched in the number for room service, “Hey, can I get a cheeseburger and a bottle of Jack Danniel’s up to room 107?”

In between ordering it and receiving the food, you had fallen asleep, completely missing the mumbling, half coherent rant Bam gave to nobody in particular, questioning why they couldn’t have filmed that desert shit in Arizona or New Mexico or some other fuckin’ place besides Mexico and lied and just said they went there, all while sounding more or less like a little kid asking his parents to bring him home from summer camp. He was ready to call it a night, which really just meant getting naked, but thank god that when there was a knock at the door, Bam at least had the decency to pull a shirt on before he went to answer it, assuming it was one of the guys getting back from the bar. The look on the delivery guy's face as he stared up at him from where he was setting the food down was priceless, made even more so by the fact that the shirt Bam grabbed was several inches shy of his crotch. All Dunn heard was the delivery guy’s panicked, stumbling footsteps as he dashed down the hallway and Bam, who was seemingly oblivious, didn’t question how it showed up or who ordered it as he brought the food in with a shrug, “Guy ran off quick.”

It was that point in the morning you decided to leave the boys and head to your own room. When you opened the door to do so, lo and behold, there was Johnny. In his underwear, laying face down in the hallway, and very not sneakily eating off of a room service tray that you knew wasn't yours. “Alright Knoxville,” As his eyes darted up to you like a guilty dog, you rubbed your temples and went into responsible adult mode, “let’s get’cha to bed…” You had to lean down and grab him under the arms to pull a little and get him to his feet, surely a funny sight especially given the fact he still had a little bit of someone else’s breakfast on his face, “Oh, you wanna go to bed with me?” Leave it to him to try and flirt with you as you were practically carrying him to his room. Given the fact he was still a little drunk, you were thankful you didn’t have to get them on set for a few hours and you hoped Johnny could just sleep it off. “Cmon, lay down...” That earned you an eyebrow raise and a crooked grin from him as he fell back against the mattress, something that you would’ve found charming if he didn’t have a very clear piss stain on the front of his boxers, “Ooh! An assertive woman…I like it!”

Still drunk, Johnny stared up at you from the bed with hearts in his eyes as his lips curled into a knowing half smirk and he shook his head, “Y/N- I still can’t believe y’bribed a cop…” At the mention of that incident at the customs office, your face dropped, flushing pink with embarrassment as Ryan blinked in disbelief, “Wait, who bribed a cop?” While you were out in the hallways, busy hauling in the six foot one man who was laying out there all by yourself, Bam had apparently woken up and was still snickering when you whipped your head around. “Oh my god- Y/N bribed a cop!” He was still laying on the bed shirtless, tangled up in the sheets like some kind of male model. “Yeah,” Ryan sat up, taking a swig of stale whiskey from the open bottle in his hand, “an’ you slept with her.” And the misunderstandings kept coming…Now Bam’s expression of wide eyed delebeif mimicked yours as he misconstrued the idea of sharing a bed with the image of the two of you fucking. “Wow…first a felony, now you’re screwin’ Bam? Never really pegged you for the wild type, Y/N.” Sighing, you shook your head as you tried not to let Johnny’s teasing get you flustered. It’s not like you wanted to admit that you actually kinda enjoyed it when he talked to you like that. You decided just to go back to your room and try to catch a few z’s before you had to get their asses up. As you went for the door, Bam buried his face in his pillow, groaning, “Ugh…I’m gonna be sick.” You had awoken to an ugly, half remembered montage of, ‘no it didn’t happen. it couldn’t have happened! that’s your story and you’re sticking to it.’s and all you wanted to do was go back to sleep.

So you did. Unfortunately, you were rudely woken up maybe an hour later by Jeff's call on the hotel room phone and you tried to make yourself sound more awake than you were, “What’s up?” In contrast to his usual tone, he sounded surprisingly calm on the other end of the line, “Hey, just calling to check in and make sure everyone’s ready to shoot. Be on set by 9!” Making a mental note of it, you pulled yourself to your feet and started getting dressed as you shot a glance at the clock. “Got it- yeah, we’re doing alright. But, now that I think about it, I don’t know where Chris or Steve are…” Suddenly, his tone sounded distinctly panicked, “Wait what?” but before you could try and explain yourself, Jeff was going off on you, “Listen, I’m not gonna be bailing these guys outta some- some Mexican jail somewhere! I need their asses on set for that cactus jump stunt today.” Before you had the chance to argue, he hung up. How the hell were you going to manage this?

The first thing Steve realized when he woke up with the sun in his eyes was that he was surrounded by dogs, which he was stoked about before he realized the fact he was also just asleep in an alleyway, which never meant anything good happened the night before. Sitting up groggily against the brick wall behind him to try and collect himself, all the street dogs that were sniffing and licking at Steve’s face quickly turned to what he only just noticed he was laying on- a bag of dog food. The dots took a while to connect in his head but eventually he put two and two together, reaching over to tear open the cloth bag. Pulling himself to his feet, Steve grinned to himself as he watched those little fellas chow down. Meanwhile, about half a mile away, Chris was waking up as well, only in maybe less ideal circumstances than his buddy did: laying on the sands of some public beach, ass naked, with no clue as to where the hell he was or how he got there. Pretty par for the course for those two.

After an hour of driving around, you eventually corralled everyone up, as uncomfortable it is to be trapped in a moving vehicle with a completely nude man. Better you than the police, you thought. You caught bits and pieces of their conversation, gradually piecing together the story as best you could: Steve and Chris, the last people in the bar that night, got thrown- not kicked, thrown out around three or four. They decided to call it a night, but before they headed back to the hotel, Steve told Chris he was gonna stop to take a piss. Before he got the chance to zip up his pants and make his way out of the alley he stepped into, Chris was long gone, having run off with two ladies from the bar who met up with him outside and seemed very eager to catch up with him. But still, you were thankful to finally have everyone together again. Hell, with the way things were going, you might actually have everyone on set on time today! You were feeling more relaxed than you had the entire trip as you opened the door for Chris and Steve, “Alright you two. Just get ready and meet me downstairs in five-“

As you would come to find out, it wasn't the thought of sleeping with you, which in Bam’s mind was on par with fucking your babysitter, that made him feel sick. Yep, you opened the door and there he was, regurgitating the contents of his stomach and not even having the decency to close the bathroom door behind him. Steve, in one of his seemingly random moments of wisdom, knew immediately what was up, “Drinks with ice?” From where his head was in the toilet, Bam nodded. Steve held up his hand to whisper to you, “Send him out with a bucket- he’ll be fine.” before turning back to Bam, “You’ll be alright. I mean, there’s worse you could have, man! Giardia, Montezuma’s Revenge…” You weren't the only person who was amazed at his medical knowledge as Chris looked over at him with wonder in his eyes, like a kid watching a magic trick, and chuckled, “Woah. You should be a doctor or somethin’…” Now that’s something you don’t want to see- Steve as a doctor.

That night, after Bam thankfully started feeling better, you made the poor decision of leaving the guys unsupervised at the pool under the assumption that there was only so much trouble they could start within a fenced-in area, like putting a toddler in a playpen. Oh, how wrong you were. You spent the night peacefully alone in your room, happy that things were finally calming down a little. That was, however, until you received a phone call that whoever was staying in said room needed to find new accommodations because they were no longer welcome. “I’m sorry sir- this has to be a mistake!” But the guy on the other end of the line hung up on you before you could reason with him. Hurrying to your feet, you punched Jeff’s number into your phone, knowing he would without a doubt be pissed but you didn’t really have anyone else to call. Rushing to the elevator then down into the lobby, you quickly found the manager and the words seemed to tumble out of your mouth, “Oh my god- I am so sorry about all of this- I really don’t- what is going on, exactly?” Deadpan, all the guy did was point you to the pool area outside.

Running out and onto the pool deck (even though that’s the one thing people tell you not to do), the very first sight you were greeted with was this white blur standing out against the darkness of the night sky. A few seconds later you realized what it was- Steve-O, doing a gainer into the pool off of some second story balcony he climbed up on, and splashing into the water, ass naked. You couldn’t see if Bam or Chris were clothed from where they were messing around and wrestling in the pool, even less with Knoxville and Ryan, who were sitting over in the hot tub chatting up a few half naked girls, but you made some assumptions. You were fucked. Unequivocally, unilaterally fucked. And then, with impeccable timing, guess who comes screeching up behind you, practically parking the van on the sidewalk? “You. Out!” Storming past you, Jeff was a man on a mission as he threw open the gate and grabbed a very unsuspecting Bam by his hair, hoisting him up like a mama cat and giving you a clear as day view of his pasty white ass.

“What on earth made you think, ‘Oh! Let’s all get shitfaced and swim naked in the hotel pool!’“ Jeff was anxiously pacing back and forth in front of the bench that he hauled the guys onto while you, under his orders, passed out towels for them to cover themselves up with. He shook his head like a disappointed father, “Now, thanks to you, you shitheads just got your sorry asses kicked out of the one hotel that’d take you! Great fuckin’ job, guys...” You felt a little awkward standing by his side as he lectured them while the guys just sat there, staring at you guiltily as if you were the lifeguard that kicked the kids out for adult swim.

Unbeknownst to you and everyone else, Jeff and the rest of the crew were staying at a pretty fancy resort, while you and the guys got the shaft and had to stay at the creepy craphole down the road. “Wait- why couldn’t we stay here?” Chris asked as the group was busy oohing and aahing and cursing their director under their breath as they pulled up to the sparkling mass that was the hotel. “Because,” Jeff roughly shifted the car into park, “somebody has a tendency to jump out of windows.” This comment was directed towards Bam, made even more so by a little thing you referred to as the Margera Curse. Due to his reputation, all it took was one look at his ID and whatever hotel, rental car agency, or insurance provider immediately denied Bam (in particular, but the guys had experience with this to lesser degrees).

One star people at a five star resort. That’s what it felt like when the guys walked in the marble floored lobby wearing nothing but their towels. There were ladies wearing pearls and businessmen in suits- for god’s sake, the place had a damn chandelier, and there was the Jackass crew, half naked dripping chlorine all over the tile. Of course, given the fact they were celebrities, they attracted quite a great deal of attention as Warden Tremaine tried to quickly escort them through the lobby without causing too much of a commotion. Still, they couldn’t help but take it all in, waving and smiling as a few tourists snapped pictures with around-the-neck cameras, like they were some kinda landmark people could go home and say they visited. But eventually, you got to the one room all the guys were crammed into and Bam groaned when he got a look at it, “We’re sharing a room again?” Rolling his eyes, Jeff turned to his own door, “Yes. You idiots earned it.”

Later that night, you were about halfway into a vending machine concha when you got a knock on your door. See, you hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and by that time of night you were starving, so you had gone ahead and grabbed a few snacks for yourself. To your surprise, even though everyone had surely gone to sleep, standing there in front of you out in the hall was…Knoxville? “Uh, hey Y/N.” It must’ve looked kinda funny from an outsider’s perspective as you stood there, still chewing on that last bite you took while he explained, “I wanted to say sorry for all the shit the guys an’ I pulled tonight...” It was a rare moment of remorsefulness from him, which was odd considering how typical this was in terms of things you had to deal with. “It's fine- I mean, they’re not your responsibility.” In fact, they were your responsibility- you were paid to have them as your responsibility, and even you weren't all that concerned. “I’m serious. I-“ Midway through his sentence, Johnny’s stomach growled, and you realized that he was probably in a similar situation as you were. So, in an expression of goodwill, you took the pastry that was in your hands and held it out to him. Looking at you, then the half eaten concha with some speculation, then to you again, Knoxville accepted it, looking right at you as he took a bite out of the part you just ate from.