#Fitzy bro

[thesfromhms]

Yall hhear me oit

Fitz. Shirtless. Sweating. Ponytail. HEAR ME OUT PLEASE

[snaileo]

fitzy fitzcarraldo ft a caterpillar

[july-1804]

8 with some juicy angst lol

8. "I can't do this alone!"

Jack feels sick when he sees Nico hit the ice.

He's laying in a heap as the brawl starts, Siegs dropping his gloves first in retaliation for the dirty hit against his captain. It didn't take long for the remainder of the players for both the Devils and the Rangers to drop their gloves and start fighting, thankfully away from Nico's limp body.

Jack blinks and the trainers are on the ice, calling for the team doctor and EMS staff. Timo and Haula are helping them onto the ice as the fight is broken up, players being sent to their respective penalty boxes. Jack shakes off his gloves, feeling his palms start to sweat and bile rising in the back of his throat. He feels someone's hand on his shoulder--Luke, maybe, but Jack can't peel his eyes away from his husband on the ice.

"He's moving his hands," Luke murmurs into his ear, trying to bring Jack down from his impending panic attack. "See? He just pointed to his head. This is all just a precaution, bro, Nico's tough."

Jack blinks again, trying to refocus his eyes on Nico's movements, taking a shaky sip of a water bottle that was thrust into his hands. They were putting the neck brace on him, the team doctor kneeling down at Nico's head to hold it still. Nico tried to sit up but was ushered back down by the medical staff, pinning his arms to his chest. He could hear raised voices of his teammates telling Nico to stay down, the arena falling eerily silent.

"I can't do this alone," Jack croaks out to Luke, the transfer board being slipped between Nico and the ice.

"You're not bud, Nico is going to be fine," Lukes tries to reassure him, but Jack shakes his head in response.

It wasn't just if Nico were to die--it's if he was paralysed and couldn't ever walk again; if he had post-concussion syndrome and couldn't continue his hockey career; or if this hit was the one that causes a CTE diagnosis down the track. Jack wouldn't be able to continue playing hockey, putting a brave face on for Mila when Nico's heart and soul had been taken away from him--the light from behind his eyes forever dimmed. Mila hadn't even turned two yet--she would never have any memories of Nico prior to this life altering moment.

"There's less than 2 minutes on the clock, Keefe won't play you again for this game. Fitzy will call Nico's parents and tell them as a formality, you know how it is. Then we'll get you back in the dressing room, a quick shower and change and I'll drive you to the hospital," Luke takes charge, trying to keep Jack from bursting into tears on the bench.

He feels someone hoist him up by the elbow as sticks start tapping the ice as Nico is wheeled off the ice, surrounded by an entourage of concerned faces.

Luke was right, both of them were benched for the remaining minutes of the game. Jack lets himself be led down the tunnel and into the locker room. The room is too quiet--they'd won the game, but without Nico's presence it felt as if they'd had their biggest loss of the season. What if this was Nico's last game of hockey?

Jack blinks, and he's being guided into the passenger seat of a car. The back seat is devoid of a carseat, and Jack realises he must be in Luke's car.

"Mila's at home," Jack says with urgency as Luke slides into the drivers seat.

"I've already sent Hazel a message and given her the heads up. She said Mila's completely fine and is more than happy to stay until we get home," Luke tells Jack as he peels his car out of the garage.

They're met at the front door of the ER by one of the trainers, being led to a private room tucked towards the back. The trainer was smiling, Jack thinks to himself as he tries to steady his racing heart; so maybe Nico was okay after all? Or was the smile merely to cover up the severity of Nico's injury?

Jack has no clue what he's about to walk into when the door to Nico's room was opened for him, but he was not expecting Nico to be sitting up in bed and smiling at him. Jack stops in his tracks and bursts into tears.

"Oh, Schatz," Nico says, face falling at his husband's state. "I'm okay, baby. Come here." He holds his arm out towards Jack, patting the bed beside him. He registers the team doctor leaving the room as he moves towards Nico on autopilot, letting himself be pulled into Nico's side as he cries.

"All my scans are clear, nothing's broken. Just a concussion," Nico says into Jack's hair.

"Can we take you home tonight?" Jack mumbles, face buried in Nico's armpit.

Nico shakes his head gingerly. "They want me to stay for observation tonight. I threw up in the ambulance and they couldn't roll me onto my side fast enough, so I have to get some antibiotics through an IV just to be sure my chest is okay."

Jack feels himself start to settle down, hiccuping between shuddering breaths just like Mila when she's recovering from a meltdown.

"I can't do this alone," Jack tells Nico as the thought of their daughter crosses his mind. Mila needs both of her parents--Jack needs Nico to be okay.

"You don't have to, baby. I'm right here with you and everything is going to be okay."

Nico was right, everything was okay. Luke lets Jack sleep in the car on the way home, thanking Hazel repeatedly as he updates her on Nico's condition. He finds Jack standing in Mila's nursery, cuddling the sleeping baby to his chest as he buries his nose into her hair.

Jack's eyes are closed, curled protectively around Mila as Luke pads into the master bedroom. He'd stolen a pair of Jack's pyjama pants, slipping into the king sized bed next to his brother and niece. Nico would be home in the morning, Jack was coming down from his adrenaline high, Mila would be hugged by both her Daddy and her Papa in the morning, and Luke's job was complete--Jack didn't have to do it alone.

[multi-fandom-lunatic]

ITS TIME GUYS KEEFITZ HEADCANONS LESGO

Keefe has. the most annoying nicknames for fitz. "fitzy poo" is his fave to use in front of friends but the real embarassing ones are alone. fitz totally wants to come up with his own but it never hits as hard as keefe.

Keefe is totally the more flexible in his style. dresses. big jackets. fake tattoos. keefe will do anything to look as cool as possible.

Fitz has this rockstar kinda style. he has his signature leather jacker and he added safety pins on the back to make it look like a butterfly (does that even make sense what is my english-)

Keefe and fitz 100% trade pride pins like pokemon cards. fitz totally has the bigger collection to keefes annoyance. like bro could probably open a shop and its just pins.

Everyone think fitz is a maths nerd but he's actually an english nerd. also, people think that fitz vacker loves the classics but no, he loves the darkest fantasy and horror and mystery and thriller but also romcoms (esp the queer ones)

keefe is suchh a biology nerd. he's got photographic memory ofc he would be killer in that.

keefitz totally have skincare and haircare nights together. slumber parties (weekly at least btw) and they experiment with all these different elixers.

when fitz was in the forbidden cities, he sampled many human haircare/skincare products andlikes some of them. every so often he brings some to the lost cities to use regularly.

he introduces some to keefe, who is totally freaked out by the diea of using human stuff, since elven stuff has always been superior (to their knowledge)

the only time keefe likes to use human stuff is when he applies makeup to fitz's face (foundation, contour, etc) full glam look. and keefe tells him he looks like a pretty princess.

fitz is a baker and keefe is the cook. no questions.

fitz totally only wears stuff thats teal until once keefe bought him bright pink pjs with light blue banshees all over it and fitz wears it to sleep as much as possible

keefe 100% conspired with elwin to give fitz mr. snuggles. keefe meant it as a joke, so when he finds out about mr. snuggles keefe completely loses it.

keefe and fitz are cat people. they love butler and butler loves them. they both make sure that butler is never hungry and manage to buy lil cat sweaters. bultler might not live in everglen but he is always in designer *swishes hair*

keefe is taller so fitz loves stealing his clothes and wearing them as oversized meanwhile fitz's clothes are soo tight on keefe and fitz is constantly gay panicking because of it (keefe knows and loves this)

fitz is actually the one who hogs the blanket, but its okay because keefe could basically survive in the arctic. (adults btw)

they have a big bed but totally cuddle on one side of it (adults btw)

alden never questions why keefe is always over at everglen. the lost cities never have queer stuff so they never even suspect it. which is great for them because they can cuddle in peace.

keefe loves hugging fitz from behind and fitz loves peppering keefes face and hair with kisses (keefe whines about the latter but allows it)

aight im fresh out. would be illegal not to tag @thesfromhms

[electricalcheese]

GRAHHH I DREW THE FITZER

I love Fitzy bro.

actually might be the most proud of this :333333

ALSO thinking of hitting him with the digital art beam

totally off topic but i was listening to weezer the entire time i drew this

[zot3-flopped]

If anyone is having a great autumn, it’s Harry Styles.

His Love on Tour jaunt, now in its second leg, boasts a reported running total of $233.5M and it’s still running. It’s the type of tentpole cash that any motion picture studio would envy.

Breaking this down: The singer’s 15-night residency at Madison Square Garden in New York City, which ran from late August to late September, was an anomaly for the venue; the Grammy winner is one of three musical icons to pull off such a feat alongside Billy Joel and Phish.

Styles is currently in the throes of another 15-night residency at the Kia Forum in Inglewood, CA.

Styles’ MSG dates together with his six sold-out shows at Moody Center in Austin, Texas have grossed in excess of $76M, not that far from the $85M worldwide running gross of his New Line genre pic Don’t Worry Darling, in which he co-stars.

 Don’t Worry Darling hits Japan on Nov. 11, moving that pic even closer to a near-century mark global gross.

And talk about an incoming Styles vortex on streaming in the days ahead: On Friday, the pop icon’s Amazon Studios movie My Policeman finally hits Prime Video with Don’t Worry Darling debuting on HBO Max on Monday Nov. 7. Don’t be surprised if either OTT services declares some sort of viewership record.

While live performances are the meat and potatoes of the Styles’ machine, a new horizon for the Redditch, Worcestershire, UK native includes his box office prowess. The fact that he helped pull in 73% women of all ages and minted a $19.3M opening for Don’t Worry Darling wasn’t lost on any major studio executive in town. They’re savoring on how they can best that figure by pairing Styles with the right IP moving forward.

And while Don’t Worry Darling alone brought an arsenal of tabloid headlines (they say there’s no such thing as bad publicity), not to be overlooked is Styles’ process and serious intent for the next chapter of his acting career.

Quite often it’s assumed that pop icons merely raise their hand and get the part. Or simply ease into a role, read: Madonna in one of her first big screen outings, Desperately Seeking Susan, playing a character quite similar to her onstage persona.

But much like his concert work, there is a great degree of sweat involved in Styles’ landing of parts going back to Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk.

On set, sources tell us Styles is so intense, he’s the type of actor who memorizes other cast members’ lines in a scene. For his turn as the beached soldier Alex in Dunkirk, Styles went through several rounds before he landed the part of one of the soldiers on the beach; Nolan wanting a group of unknown face actors (the 5x Oscar nominated filmmaker was reportedly unaware of the extent of Styles’ fame at the time of casting).

When it came to the Elvis audition, it started out with filmmaker Baz Luhrmann phoning Styles up. Casting knew Styles could sing and dance; reportedly the first song the singer ever recorded was Elvis Presley’s “The Girl of My Best Friend” on a karaoke machine. However, what impressed Warner Bros suits was how much vulnerability he brought to the role. “He’s a sponge and has a keen sense of curiosity,” says a close associate of Styles about what he brings to his prep. “He’s a relentless, insatiable watcher of films, everything from the present and past.”

Luhrmann wound up going with Austin Butler for the title role, telling the Australian radio podcast “Fitzy & Wippa” that he passed on Styles because “He’s already an icon.” However, Warner Bros couldn’t quit Harry.

“Over the years, I’ve seen a fair number of rock stars audition for leading roles in films,” former Warner Bros Motion Picture Group Boss Toby Emmerich tells Deadline.

“Usually, it’s very hard for them to shed their onstage persona,” Emmerich continues, “Once in a while, you come across a true rock icon that is just a gifted actor.”

Other names that come to mind include David Bowie, Mick Jagger and, in the pop realm, Frank Sinatra.

“They can disappear into a role and you see the character, not the rock star,” says Emmerich. “That was the case with Lady Gaga in A Star Is Born and that’s what Harry Styles did in his Elvis audition, and why he came to top of mind for the role of Jack in Don’t Worry Darling.”

Shia LaBeouf’s exit from Don’t Worry Darling proved an opportunity for Warners and filmmaker Olivia Wilde to select Styles.

Sure, Styles could have focused on much broader fare that came his way, sources tell us. There were romantic comedy and action movie offers. However, he specifically settled on complex parts in edgy projects, like being a 1950s husband whose hiding something more sinister from his wife in Don’t Worry Darling and essaying a London police officer who is forced to hide his homosexuality in the late 1950s set My Policeman.

“He’s not an actor who wants to play it safe, rather challenge himself,” says another studio insider

[scoopsgf]

I love the way you write! what are your favourite books? or anything you go back to for inspiration? :)

bro I’ve been so bad at reading lately but anything by richard siken, beat gen authors like ginsberg and burroughs, anne sexton, i love keats and cummings, johnathan safran foer (good if u wanna study stream of consciousness writing), love a good bit of shakespeare & more classical stuff from austen and the brontës et al. oh my god jd salinger, and i have yet to make it through a full russian novel but ive read excerpts from dostoyevsky, tolstoy, nabokov etc and that always inspires me bc the writing is so heavy it’s like. being buried under snow. oh and f scott fitzy, kafka, woolf, anaïs nin, ocean vuong, madeline miller, toni morrison, junot díaz, and marcus zusak—so lots of contemporary fiction and inspo for prose rlly

[seasidefanasties]

James Fitzjames’s looks rated: a thread

Have the post that absolutely nobody asked for because my thirst towards this man truly knows no bounds 

8/10. Taco hat kind of throws the look off but he’s still being fashionable and cozy and probably very very excited about icebergs. He’s still in a position to high kick all of his haters and that’s valid of him. 

11/10. Not to be horny on main or anything but this is absolutely one of his best looks, especially when he’s vagueing about Francis being salty towards him. 10/10 would absolutely tap this look. He could literally step on me while wearing this and I’d thank him. In other words, THIS IS AN EXTREME THIRST

10/10. MASTER HAS GIVEN FITZY A REAL HAT FITZY IS FREE. Also he’s like barely in this episode but we still appreciate a man because he’s trying his best

1000/10. THE SHEER SEXINESS OF THIS LOOK. THE HAIR CURLS. THE ONE OF LIKE A HANDFUL OF GENUINE SMILES THAT WE ACTUALLY GET TO SEE FROM THIS MAN. MY CROPS ARE FLOURISHING AND MY LOINS ARE ON FIRE

11/10 because he gets to wave a gun around while also being incredibly sexy and cozy. No I’m not giving it a lower rating because of what happens next. Let him have his moment of being an Arctic god or w/e.

2/10 because he still looks sexy but him looking like a gotdamn kicked puppy over Sir John’s death will never not be gutwrenching to me (also Tobias you need to stop doing these things with your tongue and shit it’s DISTRESSING ME)

7/10. The sweater looks absurdly comfy lads I’m not gonna lie, honestly, I’d steal that sweater from him if he wouldn’t like immediately kick my ass soon afterwards. Rating is lessened because I spent too long laughing at his SO I AM CONFUSION face, else it would be higher still. 

12/10 because not only is he wearing quite possibly his sexiest outfit but he’s also doing his best Collette from Ratatouille impression. KEEP YOUR STATION CLEAN OR I WILL KILL YOU

1845/10 (you can see what I did here ahahahahaha). Not an overall sexy look, but chewing your immediate superior out for making bad life choices and using Victorian slang absurdly casually along with Tobias Menzies’s excellent death glare? Take me. Take me now, sir. You don’t even have to hesitate. 

3000/10. The showrunners were absolute cowards for not letting him wear this outfit. ABSOLUTE cowards. I’ll go to their house and bang their doors down and demand that they let him wear this dress because he would have looked absolutely sexy in it. But also it might have been dangerous because the sheer godlike energy radiating from him if he’d worn that dress probably would have made my head explode or something. Perhaps this is for the better. Perhaps only having the dress worn in my dreams is a good thing. 

17/10. This is literally the best picture I can find because the lighting in this scene sucks some major ass but just know that his Carnivale costume is the most iconic out of the whole event, hands down. I don’t even care if he wasn’t wearing the dress. Just let me stare at him for a while (and also ignore the fact that IT’S SCURVY TIME FOR JIMMY FITZJIMMY)

900000/10. HAND HOLDING HAND HOLDING HAND HOLDING HAND---

STILL 900000/10 BECAUSE THIS IS FRANCIS HE’S LOOKING AT LIKE HE HUNG THE GOTDAMN SUN IN THE SKY DON’T @ ME I’M EMOTIONAL

100000000000/10 because a part of me will never truly be over how soft this scene is and how it ripped my heart out and stomped it into tiny pieces before gluing it back together. Are we bros, Francis. Are we fucking bros. Are we getting an Emmy like we fucking deserve Francis TOBIAS MENZIES EMMY WHEN

-200/10. We get to see Tobias shirtless but at what cost

10000000000000000000000000/10. IF THERE WAS EVER A MORE PERFECT DEFINITION OF BIG DICK ENERGY I HAVEN’T YET FOUND IT. I AM THE ONE DON’T WEIGH A TON DON’T NEED A GUN TO GET RESPECT UP ON THE STREET--

12/10. Me, getting emotional over James looking at Francis like he’s the goddamn sun???? It’s more likely than you think. 

-900/10 IT’S FINE BITCH WALK IT OFF YOU’RE FINE YOU’RE FINE YOU’RE FINE I DON’T LIKE THAT FEELS BAD SCOOB BUT YOU’RE FINE. OH GOD WE GON’ GET YOU SOME VITAMIN C BRO 

-90000/10 I HATE THIS I LITERALLY HATE THIS I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS DON’T @ ME I ANGY

-100000000000000000000/10 HEY THERE MISTER HICKEY THOSE SHOES LOOK AWFULLY FAMILIAR In conclusion, your honor: I love him (heavily inspired by @radiojamming​‘s Irving ratings, @theiceandbones​‘s Tom Hartnell ratings, and @bomburjo​‘s Goodsir ratings)

[connormurphyprinterboy]

No Friends, On That Fateful Day: A Printer Boy Story ft Fitzgerald

PART 5:

It was still 2016

Early August

It was a Friday evening

As the summer came to an end, Connor felt the need to get his life together. One final push. One last try. He began by cleaning out his room. Clean room. Clean Connor. He pulled his bed out from the wall, and spotted an old friend.

“FITZGERALD!!” He reached for the small stuffed Octopus.

Fitzgerald was his imaginary friend-turned stuffed animal(thanks to Zoe) from when Connor was little. He typically lived on Connor’s bed, but at some point he had slipped behind the bed and evaded Connor’s attention.

“Oh Fitzy. Where did I go wrong?”

Connor awaited his reply, Fitzy was a smart octopus. Young but wise, he’d always say.

“Well… Connor Boy, I’d have to say that it all went wrong when you forgot to be nice.”

“True Fitz. I’ll work on that. It’s just hard being a person sometimes”

“One must practice to be nice. Practice makes perfect. Life as an octopus is probably not as hard as a human. But, have you ever tried growing carrots on the bottom of the sea? Or finding fresh roast beef? It’s difficult. however, I practice my farming skills, and my practice has paid off. I have several carrots now.”

Connor chuckled.

“Thanks Fitzgerald” Connor set his small octopus down and continued to clean.

Over the next few weeks Fitzgerald accompanied Connor on his printer runs, Connor was less lonely, and Fitzgerald was helping him work through his problems. Teaching him about the ocean, and carrots, and how to be a nicer person. He tried to be more nice. He still made no progress with Zoe, which stunted his progress every time he interacted with her. It was a relationship he didn’t think he could repair, but he hoped he could make new friends with the new school year. He especially hoped he could befriend Evan Hansen, who had plagued his thoughts all summer. He just had to be himself, but not rude or condescending or too depressing. He just needed to be himself…but also kind and approachable and like easy to talk to but really he just had to be himself. That’s the most important thing, to just be himself.

It’s still 2016.

It’s still August

But now, it’s the first day of school. 6:30 in the morning.

It was already not going good. Connor was having an episode. He hugged Fitzgerald tight to his chest. He was so anxious. So worried. He couldn’t face those kids again. He couldn’t handle it for another day, let alone another year. He had caved. Three weeks he had been clean, and all for nothing. He felt worthless.

“CONNOR! BREAKFAST!” His mom called.

Connor took a deep breath, stuffed the little octopus into his bag, and ran down stairs.

“Mom. I really can’t do this today. Can I just start tomorrow?” he asked as he sat down at the table, pouring the last of the milk into the cereal he had no intention of eating.

“Connor please, it’s too early in the school year to start this” His mother shook her head in disbelief.

“I don’t make the depression schedule, Mother. It writes itself in and unfortunately, today I am double booked” Connor said, full on sass.

“It’s your senior year Connor, you are not missing the first day” Cynthia replied.

“I already said I’d go tomorrow, I’m trying to find a compromise here” Connor countered.

“Are you going to get involved here, or are you too busy on your email, Larry?” Cynthia pleaded with her husband.

“You have to go to school Connor” Larry said, still uninterested in his son.

“That’s all you’re gonna say?” Cynthia cried.

“What do you want me to say, he doesn’t listen!” Larry snapped back “Look at him, he’s not listening, he’s probably high” Connor was in fact listening, and very unamused at the spectacle going on around him.

“He’s definitely High” Zoe inserted. Now Connor was mad.

“FUCK YOU” He hollered, and placed his head on the table.

“FUCK YOU!” She retorted.

“I do not need you picking on your brother right now, that is not constructive” Cynthia jumped a little at the language.

“Are you kidding me?” Zoe half chuckled out of disbelief.

“Besides he’s not high” Cynthia said trying to defend her son. Connor lifted his head, now he was amused. “Wait, are you high? (Connor was high) I don’t want you going to school high Connor! Honey, we have talked about this”

“Perfect! So then I won’t go, thanks mom!” Connor said as he got up from the table and headed upstairs.

He later heard Zoe lament the lack of milk, and claim she would leave without him.

Connor still didn’t want to go, but with some encouraging words from Fitzgerald, Connor barely made it to the car before Zoe took off. The car ride was silent, and Connor bolted as soon as Zoe put the car in park.

Connor started down the hall, and up ahead he saw that kid…Evan Hansen. He tried to avoid eye contact, but was stopped by Evan’s “Friend” Jared. Jared Kleinman. Connor’s least favorite kid. Never knew when to shut up, and unlike Alana Beck, who shared the same unfortunate quality, he wasn’t at all kind.

“Hey Connor! Loving the new hair length!” Jared said. Not a bad start. “Very school shooter chic”

Connor was, for the second time this morning, unamused by the company he found himself a part of. Connor liked his hair. So did Fitzy, he told him so this morning.

“I was just kidding” Jared continued “It was a joke”

“Yeah, no it was funny. I’m laughing, can’t you tell?” Started Connor, who was in fact, not laughing. “Am I not laughing HARD enough for you?”

“You’re such a freak” Jared said as he walked off.

Connor looked to Evan for, I don’t know, maybe some sort of support. Kleinman is rude to Evan, so maybe he gets it.

Evan was laughing. Well not really laughing, but more like nervous chuckling. Connor was quite frankly shocked. The one kid that he thought would get it, laughing at him.

“What the fuck are you laughing at” Connor asked Evan, hurt.

“What?” Evan stuttered out.

“STOP FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME” Connor cried, distressed.

“No, I wasn’t” Evan tried to defend.

“YOU THINK I’M THE FREAK? I’M NOT THE FREAK, YOU’RE THE FUCKING FREAK!!” Connor yelled, and pushed Evan to the ground, running off. He immediately regretted it. It wasn’t something Connor was proud of, in fact he felt awful about it.

Connor went to class and just ignored everything and everyone. At lunch, he headed to the computer lab. He loved the computer lab during lunch because “No Food Allowed”, so kids didn’t like to be there. He sat down, and pulled out Fitzgerald. He was a little nervous to tell him what happened, but he knew he wouldn’t judge Connor.

“Fitzy, I was real mean to this boy today.” Connor started before he heard the door open. He hid Fitzgerald under the desk. Connor looked up. It was Evan. He seemed to be on the phone with someone, and oblivious to Connor’s presence.

“The boy is here Fitzy. I know you told me to try being nice, and I want to try being nice to him, but I don’t know if he’ll want to talk to me. I was really mean.” Connor continued, whispering.

“If you want to be nice to this boy, try carrots. He might like them. He might want to talk to you if you have carrots.” Fitzgerald said, approving of Connor’s desire to practice politeness.

Connor was trying to work up the courage to go over to the Hansen boy, when the printer started to beep. Connor got up to check it.  

“OUT OF INK”

The printer read. Connor chuckled and tapped on it. It began printing. Connor remembered all the good times he had fixing printers. He didn’t know this would be the last time he ever got a chance to use his powers. Connor grabbed the printed page. It read “Dear Evan Hansen” on the top. He headed towards Evan, determined to be nice.

He stopped in his tracks. Evan had a cast on. Had he caused that? When he pushed Evan that morning? Had it been there the whole time? It had to have been, he wouldn’t be at school still if it had been from this morning, right? But it was blank, so it was new, no one had signed it. Connor had really hurt this boy, the one kid who probably understood.

“So, umm what happened to your arm?” Connor asked, trying not to sound too nervous.

“Oh I-umm I fell out of a tree actually” Evan answered, looking down at his arm.

“You fell out of a tree?” Connor said, relieved.

“Yeah” Evan squeaked out.

“Well that is just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard, oh my god” Connor chuckled nervously.

“I know”

“Umm no one’s umm signed your cast” Connor fished for more information.

“Oh, I know”

“Well I’ll sign it” Connor remembered Fitzgerald’s advice.

“Oh-umm-well you don’t have to” The boy stuttered.

“Do you uhh have a sharpie?” Connor asked.

Evan fished one from his pocket and handed it to Connor, who grabbed Evan’s arm

“Ow” Perhaps a tad to eagerly. Connor was also perhaps too zealous in the signing of the cast as well, because he wrote CONNOR all the way across it.

“Oh…great thanks” Evan replied.

“Yeah, well now we can both pretend that we have friends” Connor said, mildly shocked at himself.

“That’s a-that’s a good point” Evan agreed, as he turned to leave.

“Is this this yours?” Connor didn’t want him to leave without the paper “I found it on the printer it says Dear Evan Hansen, that’s your name”

“Yeah no no no no that’s just a stupid- it’s just this paper that I had to write. It’s for it’s for an assignment” Evan got very flustered, as Connor noticed a familiar name.

“Because there’s Zoe? Uhh is this about my sister?” Connor questioned, now on the defense.

“No no no”

“You wrote this because you know that I would find it” Connor’s mind jumped to the worst. Of course Hansen would do this, he is friends with Kleinman after all.

“What?” Evan asked.

“Yeah you uhh saw that I was the only other person in the computer lab so you wrote this and you printed it out so that I would find it” Connor shook his head in disbelief of his own stupidity.

“Why would I do-“

“SO I COULD READ SOME CREEPY SHIT YOU WROTE ABOUT MY SISTER AND FREAK OUT RIGHT? AND THEN YOU COULD TELL EVERYBODY THAT I’M CRAZY! RIGHT? FUCK YOU!” Connor fled, letter still in hand, he could hear Evan calling after him.

“No but really I need that back please so could you please just GIVE IT BACK!”

Connor ran all the way home. How could Evan Hansen do this? He was supposed to be the one person. The only person Connor could relate to. He was supposed to be the better version of Connor. But he was just like everyone else.

Connor threw his bag on the ground, unable to control the sobs that began wracking his body. How had everything gone so wrong? He was being nice. He was trying.

He curled up on his bed and stayed that way for what felt like forever. The following morning his mother tried to get him up, but he refused. She eventually gave up and left his breakfast on his dresser as she headed out to ‘Run errands” and go to her “Afternoon hot yoga class”.  When he finally brought himself to get up, he spied the paper sitting on the ground. “Dear Evan Hansen” it had said. Why was Evan Hansen printing off some letter addressed to himself? Had he written it? Had someone sent it to him? Connor wanted to rip it up and throw it in the garbage where it belonged, but something kept him from doing so. Instead he grabbed his bag and fished around for Fitzgerald.

“I’m such a freak Fitzgerald” He cried as he searched the bag for the smol octopus.

But he wasn’t there. Had he left Fitzgerald in the computer lab? Connor was freaking out. How could he have forgot Fitzgerald? The one thing that kept him connected to his little sister, gone. Connor started crying all over again, he was having trouble breathing, but something inside him was telling him that it would be okay. He’d be fine. He just had to go and talk to Evan and apologize and everything would be okay.

“Just be nice” He told himself.

It was then that Connor realized that. Fitzgerald was inside him all along. He was the great wise octopus that he’d come to know and love as a child. If only he could follow his advice. Connor again spied the paper on the ground. He picked it up.

He started to read it:

Dear Evan Hansen,

Turns out this wasn’t an amazing day after all.

This isn’t going to be an amazing week or an amazing year,

because why would it be? I know, because there’s Zoe,

and all my hope is pinned on Zoe,

who I don’t even know, and doesn’t know me.

Maybe if I could just talk to her. Maybe nothing would be different at all.

I wish everything was different. I wish I was part of something.

I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone.

I mean face it, would anyone notice if I just disappeared tomorrow?

Sincerely,

Your most best, and dearest friend,

Me

Well damn. Connor had fucked up. He freaked out at this, this poor kid who felt exactly like him. Evan hadn’t meant for Connor to find it. Evan didn’t mean to laugh at him. Evan was just a kid, who was reaching for something to hold on to, and for him that was Zoe. Connor was jealous that Evan had that in Zoe, when he, her brother, did not. Connor was angry, at Evan, at himself, at Zoe. Connor was angry that Evan had been there, in his safe space during lunch. Connor has angry that he had freaked out, and not given Evan even a second to explain himself. Connor was angry that Zoe was perfect while he was a freak.

This was Connor’s last chance, and he blew it. He had told himself he would try one last time. The hope that Evan Hansen could be his friend was the only thing that kept him going all through the summer. All his hope was pinned on Evan, who he didn’t even know, and who probably hated him.

Evan had probably already told everyone what happened and they were probably already laughing at him. Connor could never face Evan again…Connor could never face anyone again.

“Evan Hansen to Mr. Howard’s office please. Evan Hansen to Mr. Howard’s office.”

[marcusbrutus]

Ok I know I shit on the book a lot on this blog, rightfully so, but I think my favorite part in the book is when the creature tries to eat hickey’s soul but sneezes it out

And then my second favorite part is where crozier and fitzjames were chillin at the cairn being bros (in a significantly less homoerotic way than in the show) and the creature comes up and just kinda sniffs around and leaves and crozier and fitzy can’t do anything but laugh.

[dcarhcarts]

This.....is the 1000th post on this blog, and I definitely waited until that could be true to post it, and that’s honestly? Very fitting. Seriously, you guys are a m a z i n g and I have literally never done a milestone before so I can’t tell you what it’s supposed to look like?? But we’ve somehow Miraculously (tm) managed to reach 100 followers and - anyway, this is going to be me very unprofessionally gushing about everyone because....I love you all and you’re all amazing aaaaaa. I’m??? Literally so blessed to have made friends and write with all of you. Y’all with multiple blogs, I’m only tagging once so I don’t spam your feed ok? And - as usual, this is going to get Long, because everything I do gets Long apparently. I tried to do it chronologically but IDK how well it worked oops.

THE LOVES OF MY LIFE, THE SUN IN MY EYES, MY MOON AND STARS

@ccrrupticn  / D!!!! you are?? literally the reason I made this blog?? Without you, this thing would n o t mcfreaking exist omg!! You’re such an amazing writer (seriously, you manage so many muses and you give them all such distinct voices??? witchcraft???) and also so ???ridiculously kind! I love gushing to you about our Kids and you’re honestly A Saint (tm) for dealing with all of my blog construction/life related breakdowns, my crazy crossover headcanons and crashing into your inbox rambling about musicals <3 I miss talking to you so hmu whenever you come back if you want!!

@personnages /  Lynna!! You’re like an Actual Angel. I think you were the first person!! who talked to me??  And You were So Nice and Welcoming that you literally soothed half of my fears coming into rpc like immediately?? You basically helped me figure out how diminutives work and you’re responsible for me adding at least 3 of my muses and I cannot tell you how much I love you and every time you pop onto my dash/feed/discord/etc, it just makes me happy inside <3 Definitely 100000% will follow you to every blog (if you’ll have me lmao) regardless of fandom!! i’m super excited about all of our ship/friendship roulettes and you’re just an absolute joy to talk to.

@nikolacvnas / LYDIA goodness you are a W O N D E R. Probably the best? Historically based blog I’ve ever encountered, and definitely one of my favorite parts of the Anastasia rpc!! The care and research and attention to detail that goes into your portrayals are a s t o n i s h i n g? Your Tatya is divine, your Maria is So Lovely and I Cry For Joy that you write Dima honestly. I’d been eyeing your blog for a little bit before I made my own - and I was honestly a little scared of you when we started cause you are a GODDESS and I am a potato, but then we talked??? and you’re hilarious and a ridiculously kind person and I love you? And of course, I love your dog (the cutest in the universe).

@mythostold / LESLIE~  Different blog, same story~ Man, I’ve been following you since maybe day two of this blog being active? No matter which fandom you end up in and which muse you write, you have such!! good!!! takes!!! For one, I love reading your meta posts??? Like you’re just so incredibly passionate about your muses?? And your writing style is so good aaaaaaa it’s so atmospheric. And on top of all of that - you’re??? such a sweet and incredible??? person??? And I love talking to you boo <3 

@lifeawoke  /  NAT BBYSWEET <3 <3 <3  I have told the story of how I did a victory dance when you followed me to d e a t h probably but it’s t r u e your writing is amazing and your blog is amazing and y o u are amazing! You are the Natasha to my Sonya, and literally every time you send me a musing I’m like immediate-goofy-grin-heart-eyes???? It’s honestly a crime we don’t have more threads but like you’re an absolute joy to talk to and meme with and I adore you/your portrayal of beautiful bratty Natasha even if she drives my Sonya up the wall <3 You are Definitely the Funny Mutual lololol I crack up so much talking to you <3

@valianceearned / CARP you’re an amazing person/writer and holy h e c k am I impressed by your OCs!! They’re all so well thought out and developed? Your bios are so detailed and so much love and care is put into all of your characters. And your writing is so Lovely and it’s also very aesthetically lovely like holy heck the amount of work you put into both the content and the formatting? I am agog, I am aghast!! 

@gearsandlevers / Callie!!!!! YOU ROUND ALL THE CORNERS I STRAIGHTEN THE CURVES!! love your kids so much. Your Violet is a delightfully clever and likeable kid, your Evan might have literally walked off the stage two seconds ago, and you’ve put so much thought into your cinnabon stoner Henry. Your dialogue is amazing and I love our headcanon sessions lobbing ideas back and forth with you!! 

@spareisms / HEY MAGGIE GUESS WHAT YOU’RE WORTH MELTING FOR!!  You’re like the sweetest person alive??? How are you an Actual Real Life Disney Princess?? Your Anna is so well characterized and multi layered and I love how she an be so flawed but so brave and just how human she is. I’m very excited for your Anne Shirley too!! You’re a great writer (and a super sweet person aaaa) and I love you!! 

@gcneralvaganov /  Deanna, I have just one question: How? Have we only known each other for like 2 months???? It feels like my dash would literally be incomplete without you??  You play such deeply complex and incredibly flawed muses with such a great depth of respect and humanity. I love all of our AUs (we.....probably have a dozen by now), our long fix-canon tangents, and....look the inevitable conclusion to this whole thing is that we should....basically just write Anastasia tbh???  You’re incredibly funny and kind and talented and I’m so glad I yeeted myself into your IMs that first time 2 months ago! I love you, I love your muses, (Dima and Anya love their Dumb Boyfriend), and I love writing with you! 

@ncvaflows / ALEXA YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND YOU. You??? Unlocked Ultimate AU Mode Ro and it’s like I c a n ‘ t stop?? First off, I cannot believe we literally own the same books and like the same barbie movies. How are we not literally the same person??  (Maybe w e ’ r e Anneliese and Erika lmao). Honestly from day 1 you’ve been so welcoming and lovely and I’m so glad we crashed into each other’s IMs yelling at top volume about random ya lit/movies/aus!! I adore literally all of your OCs (is everyone a b s o l u t e l y sure they’re not canon??? hmmmmm a Mystery)???? In the words of Li Shang, “You WRITE GOOD????” Anyway you’re amazing and I love you <3

WHILE IT’S DEFINITELY MY FAULT FOR BEING AN ANXIOUS BEAN WE REALLY NEED TO TALK MORE OFTEN CAUSE I LOVE YOU

@curtainrisen / Rebekah, dude, you’re a wonder. Your muses??? So diverse, and your voices for them? Super on the nose and amazing. I love your Helene and how human she is, and I really gotta toss more of my kids at you (Super excited for Duke!!). You’re real chill to meme with and I love talking/writing with you!!

@heartlosttravelers / Tor!! I love that you stan Raoul de Chagny So Hard ( the pure cinnamon roll boy deserves it honestly) and you’re super cool and great to talk to! All your muses are a m a z i n g and I always love the read when you pop up on my dash! 

@damerusse / Marie!! You’re hella chill. Your memes???? 10000000% actually legendary. Meming with you cracks me The Heck Up. Lily is forever the puppy dealer, that is all, thank you, gnight. Ok for real though - your Lily is pretty Legendary too and you really got all that Spark and Fire right down. You’re amazing, and I love stalking your threads on my dash!  

@lionhvrted / Fortune, my buddy my pal, we really be Out Here making Jane Austen plots even m o r e rom-com. Like. How did we manage that??? We might be literally magical lmao. We don’t have a ton of stuff going on at the moment but I love our dumb pining kids and I love the justice and humanity you give to your Caroline, and Fitzy loves his (future) wife.

@guvernantka / P R U E I already love our Exasperated Big Sis / Annoying Lil Sis / LITERALLY WHO EVEN ARE YOU YOU SMELLY DUMBASS LIL BRO IN LAW dynamic. You have the Best Sense of Humor (tm) and I’m always catching you when it’s like 12 in the morning here so I’m always cracking up silently in bed trying not to wake my roommies up. 

@anastcsie / I LOVE OUR ANGRY SMOL AND DIRTY TOL YOUNG-BUT-OLD MARRIED COUPLE AND THEIR OLDEST DAUGHTER NAMED MARIA ALREADY.  I love your Anya and how feisty and fiery she is (Dima, needless to say, loves his wife) and I love how chill (and hilarious!!) you are as a person. We do have a tendency to turn into angst monsters 24/7 but honestly that’s half the fun!! 

@asundrop / Polly!!!! ok so I know we haven’t really done anything w/ Raps (yet muahaha) BUT b o y was I hella excited when I found someone willing to yell about CDrama with me??? Thank you for being the Eternally Stoic/Always Annoyed Ancient God to my Tiny Dumb Fox Princess?? I love them and I love you (you’re hella cool) so there! 

@moretreasurewithin / KAAAATE goodness it’s only been a couple of days but I’m So Comfortable talking to you already? You’re just honestly really amazingly kind and I love screaming about Anastasia with you. We gotta get more going but I love your Dima and Maria Already (tm) and I love your sense of humor (here’s to torturing Dima with ties!!) and I can’t wait to get to know you better!

@annastrxng / AAAA somehow I managed to chat with you and then?? We never got anything going and it’s definitely mostly my fault cause of that High Anxiety (and also the fact that I got Immediately Busy) but you are literally So Nice and The Most Understanding and super great to talk to!! I hope we get something going in the future!! 

@soulcrossed / ROSE we have the same name I keep forgetting this lmao BUT ANYWAY. All your muses?? Amazing. You gotta throw more of them at me. Your Sophie?? Are you Actually Diana Wynn Jones in disguise?? I love our crazy au/headcanon sessions and I love/hate that you’re The Worst Enabler and I’m inevitably going to end up with the other two Hatter sisters on this blog lmao. 

I HAVEN’T TALKED TO YOU TON YET BUT HI!!! YOU SEEM CHILL!!

@alonecour / @steeledstark / @professor-of-predators / @sclskinn / @dulcettc / @volaticoux / @frxncaise / @argelfrasterr / @i-wrote-myway / @zharptiitsa / @villainsfall / @anyaromanovarp / @agoodandloyalrussian / @aliquisinter 

AND EVERY ONE OF Y’ALL AMAZING PEOPLE OUT THERE I’M ADMIRING SILENTLY FROM AFAR EVEN NOW BECAUSE I CHICKENED OUT OF TAGGING YOU LAST MINUTE CAUSE WHAT IF YOU’RE LIKE “LMAO WHO IS THIS WEIRDO TAGGING ME??” (p.s. this is 100000% permission to slide into my IMs/like a plotting call/etc. I honestly think y’all are hella cool and probably love you already)

[storytell]

❛     bro  i  don’t  think  nate  gets  that  taking  fitzy  down  a  peg  isn’t  very  effective  when  he’s  still  callin’  him  lord  francis  .     ❜

[srry-itshockeyszn]

they’ve just broken up the Bro Beans.

I’m sobbing.

but also I love this team and in Fitzy we trust.

[cognacdelights]

omg bae i never stopped wondering if dean found out about summer and her professor. i know atm in the story it made sense for her to go to fitzy but i wished we got a scene of her telling dean cause i adore their bro sis relationship and it would’ve been so cool to see a more serious scene between them

omg i completely forgot about that sksjsjs

i feel like he doesn’t know?

who is your favourite?/which is your favourite book?

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

Just watched 5x05

MY BOYS

THEY'RE SO INCREDIBLE 

LITERALLY THE FIRST THING THEY DO AFTER NOT SEEING EACH OTHER AFTER TWO YEARS IS RANT ABOUT FOOTBALL

THE HUGS

FITZY

I'm not mad at how they explained Bobbi like there's no good way to do it cos obvs she should be there but at least they didn't break them up again

I love that they brought back Charles's wife and Robin that was really sweet

I forgot what a cutie Hunter is

I love that bald alien guy is good that makes a change

I LOVE YOU I KNOW BYE BYE ALL PREVIOUS THOUGHTS THAT HUNTINGBIRD WERE THE HAN AND LEIA OF SHIELD NO IT'S FITZHUNTER

Zephyr came back yay

Fitz packing shotgun axe even after everything he's not forgotten his bro

Iain is so incredible like two minutes in and he's already blown it out the water 

Also Fitz having a badass shootout using the non deadly weapon he designed is my aesthetic 

At least he's somewhat talking about his feelings he needs a lot of that 

Although he'll have a lot else to think about when he sees the Lighthouse 

Also the promo for next week freaky blue bitch Daisy I love you

I would also like to know what a certain freaky blue bitch has done with my Melinda if its not too much trouble thank you 

[racingtoaredlight]

Beans & Toast: Tubthumping

Beans leans against the rail on the deck of the Terroir, watching the waves crash against the hull.  Typically in cases like these, you would build and build until you pieced together the whole story.  Then, once you’ve figured out the target, you’d strike with maximum force and precision.

This time was different though.  This time they already knew who to strike, had an idea of where to strike, knew what they were looking for, and yet he couldn’t even begin to form the bigger picture in his head.

He hid his surprise when an unrestrained Toast joined him on the deck.

“Beansy...Oi’m sorry.”

***

“Con, when’s Tommy back?”

“Tomorrow.”

Preston had a strange feeling in his gut.  Connie first introduced him to Abeo six years ago, and since then, he’d been their best source of information regarding hijackings, kidnappings and the ensuing ransoms.  He might not find this line of work particularly thrilling...but in the grand scheme of covert intelligence contractors, it was relatively safe, profitable, and it happened again and again and again.

Abeo was trustworthy as far as your dollar could go.  Keep him paid and in work, and he’s as good of an asset as Preston had ever worked with.  In particular, Abeo’s intelligence was incredibly valuable, detailed, and delivered promptly.

And in all these incidents they had collaborated on over the years, this demographic seemed peculiar.  His interactions with mercenaries in this region were typically on the recovery side.

“Get your shit together and rent us a huey over there, we’re going to the Ivory Coast the minute Tommy gets back.”

***

“Bro, what’s that guy’s deal?”

Tommy du Pont handed a clipboard with the pre-flight checklist off to a crew member, while Nigel Fitzsimmons checks off another list standing next to him.  Nigel immediately sympathized.

“The man you escorted here, Toast.”  Fitzsimmons sighs, knowing the gravity of the story to come.  “He was a reckless mercenary himself, available to the highest bidders.  If you needed anything, Toast was the man to steal it for you.  Beans and his wife...”

Tommy chuckles seeing an incoming text from Preston.

“Sorry, go on.”

“Beans and his wife were on holiday in Lisbon.  Toast was on getaway from the local constabulary, took a turn too fast, clipping a table.  As luck would have it, the table impaled Ms. Beans through the throat and she died in his arms.”

Tommy’s jaw drops.

“And some time later, Beans is in Kiev...unrelated case, of course...and he’s in the thick, surrounded from all sides.  When out of nowhere, Toast mows down a half dozen of the enemy, allowing Beans to escape.  So you can see, Beans has quite the emotional conflict in regards to Toast.”

“But I thought this Toast guy was just a mechanic who knew too much.”

“Anything but, sir.  Anything but.”

***

“Sir, everyone is in position.”

An older gentleman, still strong and spry, lifts both his arms while a tailor dutifully measures the drape of his jacket.  The olive-colored gun check jacket was almost perfect already, any alterations being minor.  For what seems like an eternity, the tailor marks, measures, and marks again...the man’s question left hanging in the air.

The tailor finishes his measurements, jots them down in a small notebook, while the gentleman being fitted lowers his arms, adjusts his jacket and steps down.  He moves only as quickly as he’s required to.

He looks the other man in the eye and nods silently, giving his affirmation.

***

Ben du Pont reclines poolside, a more beautiful day in the Hamptons he cannot recall.  His children are off to college, his wife is happy and content, life is good.  He thinks about how lucky he is to be in this place, right now, so content and happy.  He wishes everyone could experience this, and then immediately thinks that everyone experiencing this would ruin his joy.

This brings him even more joy.

He hears the familiar chime of an incoming text.  Maybe it’s Perry inviting him to go on a trip to Pebble Beach, he thinks to himself.  Hopes to himself.  He unlocks his phone to read the text, even though he sees it’s from an unfamiliar number.

“OH COME ON WHAT THE FUCK!?!”

***

“Oi can nevah replace your Ol’ Lady, mate...Oi’ll die knowing Oi was responsible.  Oi know we’ve ‘ad our troubles, so lets get this cunt once and for all.”

Not the greatest apology, but Beans knew how much it took for Toast to say anything remotely like he did.  Beans knew it came from the heart.  Did he trust Toast?  Think he could be a valuable part of this mission?  Not yet, but this was a big step.

***

Whomever was on the Terroir was already scrambling to the scant few lifeboats when the second bomb exploded.  This was a clandestine prison ship, after all.  Rights of the prisoners were long abandoned, let alone considered for a possible rescue in the event of an emergency.

Beans knew that whomever placed these explosives knew what they were doing, given the speed and severity of the port-side listing.  Most of the lifeboats aboard were on the starboard side...now unable to be lowered into the cold Atlantic waters as they crash against the exposed hull.

“BEANSY, UP ‘ERE!”  Toast hops the railing and reaches down to grab Beans’ arm to help him up.  If they can run along the exposed hull to the high point, they’ll stand a better chance.

As the last part of Terroir slips underneath the water’s surface, Beans and Toast jump into the near-freezing water, swim to the surface looking for any debris to cling onto.

“SIR!”  Toast taps Beans’ arm to get his attention, and points to where the voice is coming from.  It’s Fitzsimmons floating on a large chunk of a shipping container.  They clumsily get onto this makeshift raft and immediately huddle together to share warmth.  Fitzsimmons looks at his watch.

“Likely four hours until any type of rescue.”

***

The three survivors huddling together are all thinking the same thing.  Will we even last four hours in this cold?  Will anyone even come?  Nobody knows we’re out here except for the CIA and MI-6.

All of the sudden, they hear a motor.  Then see lights.  Now, all of them are thinking they’re about to be mowed down by whomever planted these explosives.  Gloom turns to joy when they see the Terroir’s bright neon orange dinghy plowing through the detritus.

“YOU BOYS NEED A LIFT?!?”

Tommy throws a life preserver at the trio, hitting Fitzsimmons in the forehead.  “Heh, my bad Fitzy.”

They might have been knocked down, but they got up again.

***

TO BE CONTINUED