#Fire me???

[greaserink]

THIS IS WHY WE DON'T TELL PEOPLE AT WORK THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO PICK LOCKS NOOOOOOOOOO-

[teaboot]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[shinynewmemories]

No but the Hunger Games really said "what do you hate more- the atrocities or the people who commit them against you? Because like it or not there IS a difference. If you hate the people who commit acts of pure evil more than you hate the acts themselves, what will stop you from becoming just like your enemies in your pursuit of justice? What will keep you from commiting those very same acts against THEM when the opportunity arises? And what then? The cycle of pain and suffering will never stop. Round and round it'll go. Nothing will ever change. But. BUT. If you hate the atrocities. If you hate the vile, senseless acts MORE than you hate the people who did them to you. If you are able to see that evil is evil regardless of who does it... The cycle ends with you. No, you may never get justice. But you will never be responsible for making others, even your enemies, suffer the same crimes you have. The atrocities will never be committed by you, never by your hand. And that's the way you change the world. It's the ONLY way" and that's why I am sure it will never stop being one of the most relevant works of fiction ever created

[lukitua]

"You're too big for that now, sweetling."

Dany and Viserion portrait because I miss my girls

[cbrcbbr]

69 + personal delulu

[simplyjustagirlsblog]

i love laura palmer

[angelswouldnthelpyou]

[newttxt]

a smile so rare, it counts as a disguise :)

[proxycrit]

Linktober Day 15; La Abu Ridge!

The blood moon snuck up on them while they’re clearing a monster camp. Good thing Link has a pocket ghost friend nobody knew about!

((What a familiar song… Zelda always had an ear for music. Maybe she can collect it for future analysis?))

Totk Au’s called Familiar Familiar, and focused on Link and Zelda being travel buddies through a post Upheaval Hyrule.

And here’s my patreon for Spoilers and Sketches!

[cait-sith]

Day 15: Spark

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

Toothpaste companies must really hate people who are allergic to mint toothpaste, which a lot of people are! Apparently it's NOT supposed to burn like minty hellfire? (I'm fine with mint candy, it's only mint toothpaste that hurts)

I've been using Tom's fennel for years, but am now trying to find one with fluoride in it, and finding a toothpaste that is no mint and yes fluoride should not be such a huge and infuriating quest. still got some more grocery stores to search, but not even the children's toothpaste in the nearest one had any that were suitable.

Edit: Hey you don't need to keep copying out the tags, I wrote all the Minty Hellfire lyrics here. And then someone recorded them here.

Also, I think it might technically be a sensitivity rather than an allergy, but whatever it is, toothpaste is not supposed to hurt! If it's burning then that's bad and you should try to find a new one if possible!

[caemidraws]

[Swan Song Dream 1/2]

[korkiekenobiconfirmed]

[t0bey]

“Reunion at Dawn”

happy 5th anniversary, three houses!!!

[sophies-junkyard]

I’m in the South. I’ve got ears to the ground. Republicans are SWEATING at the prospect of Kamala being nominated. They’re not sure Trump can beat her.

Let’s prove them right.

[egophiliac]

(looks at upcoming card releases)

I'm in danger :)