#Fire me???

[greaserink]

THIS IS WHY WE DON'T TELL PEOPLE AT WORK THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO PICK LOCKS NOOOOOOOOOO-

[teaboot]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[mentiranordica]

RIP David Lynch (1946-2025)

[otiksimr]

Poorly drawn Turtwig line

[shinynewmemories]

No but the Hunger Games really said "what do you hate more- the atrocities or the people who commit them against you? Because like it or not there IS a difference. If you hate the people who commit acts of pure evil more than you hate the acts themselves, what will stop you from becoming just like your enemies in your pursuit of justice? What will keep you from commiting those very same acts against THEM when the opportunity arises? And what then? The cycle of pain and suffering will never stop. Round and round it'll go. Nothing will ever change. But. BUT. If you hate the atrocities. If you hate the vile, senseless acts MORE than you hate the people who did them to you. If you are able to see that evil is evil regardless of who does it... The cycle ends with you. No, you may never get justice. But you will never be responsible for making others, even your enemies, suffer the same crimes you have. The atrocities will never be committed by you, never by your hand. And that's the way you change the world. It's the ONLY way" and that's why I am sure it will never stop being one of the most relevant works of fiction ever created

[angelswouldnthelpyou]

[crowiin]

welcome to the world

[proxycrit]

LINKTOBER DAY 7: goron hot springs!

Link and zelda are sent to death mountain to “deal with the problem” via Purah. Yunobo is tired.

(Recasting Death Mountain to be slightly on fire! I love it when things are on fire.)

More of my zelda au here! (It’s totk without the time travel)

My patreon’s here if youd like to support my crimes :0

[cbrcbbr]

69 + personal delulu

[lukitua]

"You're too big for that now, sweetling."

Dany and Viserion portrait because I miss my girls

[oil-eclipse]

David Lynch, selected paintings and lithographs.

“When I’m not painting, I’m thinking about painting.”-David

[cait-sith]

Day 15: Spark

[insatiablexi]

i love laura palmer

[newttxt]

a smile so rare, it counts as a disguise :)

[rhae-ali]

This is like if Mona Lisa posed in-front of the Mona Lisa holding a copy of the Mona Lisa…

[sunlit-mess]

randoms