#Finnick needs a hug

[hungergamesheadcanons]

Touch Starved

Katniss didn't know when she first noticed it, but she actually started thinking about it when they were in District 13.

Finnick had always been somewhat of an odd character, from the obnoxious flirting to poorly veiled innuendos. The juxtaposition of the noose around his neck and his eyes, wide with faux innocence, asking if she wanted to take him for a walk, was always one thing that came to mind. She didn't know if Finnick had an ulterior motive with that statement (she may just not be observant enough to pick up on it, she admitted to herself), or if it was just Finnick filling the silence the only way he knew how, but he had always seemed just slightly off. Like a house with only one light on - somebody's home, but maybe not everybody.

So a lot of Finnick's more... peculiar actions, Katniss just wrote off. Like his poorly timed flirty jokes in moments of silence, or the way he flinched away from other people touching him before seemingly correcting himself with a laugh and a wink. It was just quintessentially Finnick, she had believed, likely due to him being a Victor. No one got out of the arena unscarred, even Capitol favourites.

But while Katniss and Finnick resided in shared hospital rooms ('the loopy lounge,' Finnick had remarked humorlessly, when she once again broke the rules and decided to sit in his room, 'ooh look at the fan-favourite Victors, broken at last.'), Katniss had noticed some behaviours that were more than a little odd. As in, concerning levels of odd.

Finnick was always wrapped in something. A blanket, a jacket, the sheets off his bed - he always had something wrapped around his shoulders. And he slept with a pillow between his arms, clutched tight to his chest even as he tossed and turned in his sleep. And despite how much he slept, he never seemed well-rested, bags underneath sea-green eyes that were so dark she could see them through the glass separating them.

But what really stuck with her was when they were... oh what had Finnick called it? Trauma-dumping? Finnick was talking about Annie, how she was not quite as crazy as the Capitol and Districts thought, but how she had started relying on him when her mind wasn't fully there. He had gone into a spiral, hands knotting the rope faster and faster as he started panicking about what they were doing to her, and even though Katniss didn't necessarily consider them friendly - more than acquaintances, probably in friendly territory but still more akin to allies right now - she had slung her arm around his shoulders in a weak attempt at comfort.

After all, they were both going through the same thing right now.

But what had struck her as odd was his reaction. Instead of just acknowledging her half-hug, or even ignoring it, Finnick's body had completely seized up. At first she had thought he didn't want the touch, and was preparing to remove her arm as naturally as possible so he didn't feel bad, but then he practically melted, body sagging and head leaning on her shoulder like all the energy had been sucked out of him. Katniss hadn't known what to do, so she just kept her arm there, her thumb rubbing gentle circles on his shoulder like she did for Prim until he fell asleep, quiet snuffles the only sound in the hallway. Even then, she waited a minute until she guided him back down to the bed, letting him actually rest even as she slipped back to her room.

That was another weird thing about Finnick - the lack of snoring. Maybe his body had adjusted to sleeping quietly in the past? Even Prim snored louder than Finnick.

But that was beside the point.

Katniss had confided in Prim about it, her confusion over what had happened. She hated to put this on her younger sister, but to be entirely fair, Prim had far more medical knowledge than she. And, kudos to her, Prim had reported Katniss's concerns to the doctor, who ran some more tests on poor Finnick, and another little note was added to his file.

Touch-Starvation.

"It's also known as Affection Deprivation, or Skin Hunger," Prim had whispered to her, braiding her hair while Finnick had another doctor taking him through the ins and outs of the condition. "Basically it happens when you go without skin-to-skin contact for ages."

"He's Finnick Odair," Katniss had stated, confused, "he's had plenty of skin-to-skin contact."

"Not that kind," Prim shook her head, "genuine affection, like familial and platonic bonds. Not people looking to latch onto the newest, prettiest thing on the block. In fact, the doctor hypothesised that the lack of true affection, or even just genuine affection, made it worse."

And didn't that just make Katniss feel like a piece of shit. The following list of symptoms Prim reeled off (loneliness, depression, fatigue, decreased life satisfaction, problems sleeping, stress, anxiety) and signs of touch starvation (long showers and baths, wrapping up in blankets, cuddling cushions or stuffed toys or pets) just felt like another stab in the wound, because they had all been there. Or most of them. But it had all been attributed to something else.

The depression to Annie's capture. The fatigue to getting out of the arena, same with the issues sleeping. Stress, anxiety, decreased life satisfaction were all linked back to the arena and life as a victor, not to anything else. And they may not have been wrong, but to see so many factors that had been present, and yet no one thought to link it, just felt nasty.

She snuck back into Finnick's room later, the man still covered in blankets, except this time he had a heavier one some doctor had given to him, claiming it would help. She didn't know if it would work, and wasn't going to ask, but he didn't look up at her as she entered, so she knew he was running through everything in his mind.

"How long?" She asked, hoping he'd pick up on the hidden question.

How long have you been without affection? How long since the only touch you had was sexual? How long have you been deprived?

"10 years since I've had touch without any underlying expectations." He mumbled, voice cracking a little. "That's what the doctor said. Haven't had anything... consistent, since before my games - or my first one, at any rate. Just sex. Well, rape, he told me to call it. Forced prostitution and all that. Apparently calling it sex, or clients, allows me to 'mask what's been done to me' and I need to 'face it'." Finnick rolled his eyes. "Easy for him to say. He's not in grippy-sock central."

Fuck. 10 years. Since he was 14.

... Prim was only 13, and Katniss couldn't imagine not giving her a hug, or a headpat, or a cuddle, for 10 years.

"Your parents? Siblings?" She asked, and Finnick pursed his lips.

"Weren't happy with my behaviour in the Capitol. Knew I was hiding something from them and retreated until I was ready to 'tell them the truth and stop being childish'." He chuckled bitterly.

She hadn't truly realised how lucky she was, until now. To have her family still stood beside her, despite the fake relationship and wedding and pregnancy. To still have Prim and her mother. Because Finnick, Finnick had practically been abandoned to the whims of the Capitol (and Katniss would be questioning him on that later, when they were out of the 'loony bin'), and Katniss had just written him off as happy with his lot at first. But she was so fucking wrong, and she didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and Finnick frowned.

"It's not your fault," he shrugged, "don't know why you're apologising."

And Katniss didn't either, but she opened her arms anyway. Finnick fell right into them after a minute of hesitation, and Katniss squeezed him tight, even as his body trembled. When he fell asleep this time, head still on her shoulder, hands clutching one of hers between them, she stayed with him all night, falling asleep in his bed and causing her doctors to panic when she wasn't in hers in the morning.

She didn't care. It's what Peeta would have done, and Katniss was tired of pretending she didn't care about others.

So she channeled Peeta's gentle spirit, even though Katniss was uncomfortable herself with giving out physical affection. Whenever Finnick seemed to be distressed, she'd hold his hand or hug him, and Finnick would gratefully reciprocate. And when they were out of the 'crazy corner', she made sure they had rooms near each other, so that they could seek each other out after nightmares and hold each other tightly, talking about their lost loves and what they wanted to do with them when they escaped.

In meetings Katniss would hold Finnick's hand, grounding him and herself so that neither of them floated away. When night came she instinctively found herself checking his room to make sure he'd fallen asleep, sometimes slipping in to offer a shoulder for him to doze on before he conked out for good. Even though he was older than her by 5 or 6 years, having someone to look after felt good, like she was actually making a difference even as she wasted time down here. Even if she couldn't persuade them to get Peeta, Johanna and Annie out, she could at least help Finnick get to sleep, and eat on time, and stay present mentally.

Gale didn't get it. She knew he didn't, because he seemed to look at Finnick like he was competition, constantly making scathing remarks at his Capitol's Golden Boy title that caused Katniss to cringe. He once referred to him as the Capitol's Whore, a title Katniss had heard repeated in the Seam before but now caused her to seethe with unbridled rage. She had taken her revenge by cuddling with Finnick in her room, knowing both Gale and Prim were talking in there about some sort of plan or another. Petty, she knew, but watching Gale glare at an oblivious Finnick made her feel better.

Haymitch didn't get it either, until she explained it to him. He had been concerned Katniss was falling in love with Finnick, and Katniss had been forced to explain to the man about touch starvation and the effects. He had been relieved when Katniss had said it was purely platonic, as even though Haymitch liked both of them, he would not have been happy that they were betraying Peeta (and by extension, Annie) like that. Katniss pretended not to notice how Haymitch now gave Finnick shoulder squeezes whenever he passed, along with mocking head pats when he spoke in meetings.

The man was such a softy, even if he'd never admit it.

Even Prim, who had never known Finnick until 13, had stepped up to the plate. Once Katniss had started hanging out with Finnick more often, Prim had followed, bringing Buttercup along for the ride. The two had bonded over the cat, Prim placing him in Finnick's lap for the man to stroke. Even though Buttercup was a nightmare, the cat seemed to recognise that Finnick needed an outlet, as he sat and let the man stroke him for hours on end. And Prim would help brush Finnick's pretty bronze hair out, and would ask him for help with things like skincare. Where he had found it, Katniss didn't know, but she once walked into the two of them applying some kind of face mask on each other, Finnick's face cradled in Prim's small hands as she smeared a pink goop onto his face ever so gently.

Things weren't perfect. Sometimes he still couldn't physically sleep, while other times he could barely wake up. Some days he still flinched away from touch, while others you couldn't tear him away from whoever's shoulder he'd buried himself in.

But it was a start.

[thedelicatearcher]

oh to enter the hunger games universe and give finnick odair the comfort canon never gave him

[inklore]

i forgot how sad the mockingjay movies are 😭😭

[bentknife]

so many people just need to be held and loved🥺

[bruisedboys]

ummmmm so finnick and manhandling 😁😁 especially casual manhandling 😁😁 we have any thoughts abt that orrrr 😁😁😁

ummmm yes!!!!!! I absolutely have so many thoughts ….. (also I’m very sorry this took me the longest time to answer. it was stewing in my brain hehe)

finnick odair x fem!reader

finnick odair is constantly manhandling you. it’s so easy for him, and even if he wasn’t as strong as he is it’d still be anything but a challenge because you’re so compliant and practically putty in his hands, and you’d do anything he wanted, you’ve told him as much — so yeah, it’s a breeze.

you’re brushing your teeth at the sink when finnick comes into the bathroom. he wants his razor, which is in the cabinet in front of your thighs, but rather than asking you to move he just takes you by the hips and moves you to the side easily. it’s so casual, but that’s exactly why it unravels you so much. “sorry, honey,” he’ll murmur, bending at the waist to grab what he needs, a hand on your lower back to keep you in place. he kisses your shoulder as he straightens up and you melt.

or like, he’ll be sitting on the couch, watching you do something, maybe arranging a bunch of flowers in a vase. and you look so so pretty — finnick thinks he could watch you for hours. when you move past him to grab something you need, you don’t make it far because finnick sticks out a hand and pulls you in between his legs with ease. “finn,” you’ll say, all breathless and giggly. “what’re you doing?” finnick shrugs, squeezes your hips and presses his face to your abdomen. “dunno,” he’ll murmur into your top, nosing the space under your breasts. “jus’ wanted a hug.” and then you put your hands in his hair and finnick almost whines out loud. it turns out to be a veerrry long hug.

also let’s talk about how strong he is??? like he can move you around with just one arm if he wants to. if he wants you up on the counter to kiss you he’ll just wrap one arm around your waist and hoist you up in an instant, not even a breath spared for the effort it takes. if he wants you to stay in bed with him, you best believe you are staying put, because as soon as he gets his hands on you it’s over. all he has to do is get his arm around your waist and you’re stuck for as long as he wants. he’s just too strong and too lovesick to let you go!!!!! <3333

[liseytopia]

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summary: early mornings spent with your lover, finnick <3

pairing: finnick odair x fem!reader

contents: fluffy, lovesick and teasing finn

warnings: kind of suggestive

an: i'm trying to pump out some finnick.. i have another fic in the works! i know this fic jumps around topics a bit but i hope you all enjoy this one, i had a lot of fun writing it! 🫡

wc: 2.2k

───★

𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭.

- 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘪𝘳

your lashes fluttered open as a glimmer of light peeked through the silkened curtains over the window of you & finnick's bedroom. your limbs were both sprawled out and tangled in the soft sheets. you lay down with finnick's arm around you and your head resting gently against his shoulder. feeling in a comfortable position, you took in finnick's soothing scent, closing your eyes and trying to bask in his presence for as long as you could.

your attention directed towards the man next to you as he grunted softly and stretched his neck, seeming he just woke up, shortly after you had. all you could do was smile at him and admire his pure beauty. he looked somewhat of a sculpture of the gods.. sea green eyes just barely opened and glancing around the room, bronze curls falling oh so perfectly over his forehead, pink lips parted just enough to let some air in, and his tanned skin seemingly glowing in your presence. your mind wandered and you could only imagine how in the world a man this perfect could ever need you in his life.

eventually finnick caught you staring and let out a chuckle that sent vibrations through your whole body. he spoke in a scratchy yet so attractive sleepy voice, "take a picture, it'll last longer, sweetheart."

you blushed deeply and smiled, trying to avoid his gaze by tucking your face into the crook of finnick's neck. he placed a soft kiss to the top of your head and stroked your hair.

you raised your head back up, looking at finnick with those pretty eyes. it seems the tables turned and now finnick's the one who is flustered. he can't help but let a grin slip through as he brushes a hair out of your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb. you closed your eyes and smiled. "i love you," you spoke, so softly that he almost didn't notice.

"love you more, baby," finnick hummed, moving close so your noses were touching. morning breath being the least of his worries, he planted a sweet kiss to your lips, pulling away with a wide, teethy-smile.

the comforter rustled as you sat up, moving to get up and out of bed. finnick's arm wrapped tight around your waist before you could achieve your goal, him not wanting you to leave. you tried to loosen his grip, silently giggling to yourself. turning around, you saw finnick pouting at you. he whined. "i don't want you to get up.."

you grinned and reassured him, "i'm just getting up to go make breakfast, love." he whined once more and finally let you slip out of his arms, leaving him with a cold feeling now that you were gone.

you stood in the kitchen, softly humming a song stuck in your head. you placed a pan on the stove and cranked the heat up, moving to get a bowl from elsewhere in the room. you were gathering ingredients and such to make pancakes for you and finnick. opening the cupboard to grab a bowl, you outstretched your arms up in attempt to reach it at the top shelf. you sighed, trying again. your arms stretched upwards to try to take the bowl once again and, to no avail, you failed.

a strong arm found its way around your waist once more and finnick appeared behind you, effortlessly grabbing the bowl you were struggling with and placing it on the counter before you. you turned around and looked up at him, giggling. he wrapped his other arm around you in a hug from behind, lowering his head on top of yours and closing his eyes, rocking you back and forth. "mmm.." he sighed, feeling like a lucky man to be able to hold you in his arms every morning. he was brought back to reality when you thanked him. "no problem, honey."

once he let go, you walked over to the fridge to collect ingredients. he leaned on the counter, gazing at you from across the kitchen. 'wow' was the only word he could think of when looking at you. even though you had just woken up and hadn't gotten yourself ready for the day at all, you looked like a goddess in his eyes. beautiful locks of hair fell over your shoulders, and he tried not to marvel over how good you looked in one of his tees, a little oversized on you, and your panties. god he could stare forever, but he has other things to do; to help you out, he realizes.

finnick walked over to you, who was by the stove mixing the pancake batter. he enveloped your waist with his big hands and lifted you up easily. you squirmed in his grasp as he carried you over to the lounge. "finn!" you giggled. "what are you doing?! let me go!"

you secretly loved this kind of attention from him and your words didn't do much to hide that. finnick only laid a teasing kiss to your cheek, continuing with "'m gonna do the work, sweet girl. you just sit here and look pretty, okay?" the comment made you blush. "no, finnick! i wanna help! pleeeeaaase let me?"

well, he couldn't turn you down this time when you talk to him like that. "aww, don't say that, i almost won," finnick pouted. his pouty face made you laugh. before he set you down, he kissed your lips one more time and nuzzled his face into your neck, placing little kisses and hickeys by your ear. you tried to protest against his actions, concerned what the capitol and your friends would think if they saw the love bites, but those thoughts only fueled him more. he wanted everyone to know you were his and he was yours.

"finn, stop it! put me down!" you laughed. he mumbled into your neck, "mm.. but i don't wanna, baby." his statement sent blood rushing through your veins. still flustered, you formed a comeback. "did you forget it was me who started cooking first?" you teased. finnick chuckled, pulling away from your skin. he looked you in the eyes, "alright, alright, i'll let you go," he spoke with a sugary sweet grin on his lips. "but you have to let me do some work, too," finnick continued. you leaned up to kiss his cheek and walked back to the kitchen, finnick following close behind you like a puppy, as you spoke "you can help, pretty boy."

it seemed the teasing was more on your end than his now. the pet name sent butterflies to his stomach and made his cheeks flush, something only you can make happen to him. he rubbed the back of his neck and rounded the counter to creep up behind you and take your hand, in which you were using to mix the pancake batter, and help you out. he knew you could do it on your own but he liked giving you treatment of royalty. he also liked being able to rest his chin on the top of your head and to wrap his hands around your body, too, but he always made excuses to do so.

finnick poured the batter into the pan on the stove and flipped the pancakes when they were ready while you danced around the kitchen and sang a song. finnick found it cute and glanced back at you, chuckling. he knew it would end with him doing the work anyways, which is why he tried to set you aside in the first place, but he wouldn't ever complain about seeing you happy.

right after finnick flipped the last pancake, you twirled right into him and let out a laugh that made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. he turned around and looked down at you, his hands gliding to your hips. you smiled warmly at him. "thank you, finn," you muttered. your smile was that of a dream to him and he could get lost looking at it for too long.

"what for, lovely?" finnick's smile grew impossibly wider. you wrapped your arms around his neck and fidgeted with his golden hair.

"for being the love of my life." you peeked behind him and saw the pancakes on the stove once again. "and-- for making me pancakes," you giggled.

finnick hummed in response and kissed your lips with pure love. his lips tasted like the sea, a bit salty but still sweet. to him, your lips were his home. he felt safe only in your presence and with your warmth--- both physically and mentally.

he pulled back slowly and looked at you through lidded eyes. "i should be thanking you, sweet girl, for loving me as much as you do," he told you, genuine and sincere.

finnick flashed a wide smile again before you started to speak. "there's nothing in the whole world that could ever get me to stop loving you, finn." he laughed in a lighthearted manner. "no, i'm being serious!" you lectured. "sometimes i question how a boy as perfect as you could ever love or need someone like me in his life."

your comment was supposed to be short and sweet but it made a look of concern form on finnick's face. "baby.." he spoke, gently. "why would you ever think that? you're so beautiful and caring and everything a man like me would ever want. i don't want you to doubt yourself, sweetheart."

the solemn look on his face almost destroyed you. you tried to back yourself up by saying "i'm sorry, i was just trying to let you know i care about you," but that didn't help either. a crease of concern had formed in between his eyebrows and he moved his hands to cup your cheeks, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. you leaned into him for a hug, realizing words are just failing you.

his arms encased you gently when he mumbled into your hair "you're perfect for me, honey. don't ever forget that." you smiled into his chest and pulled away, going on your tiptoes to place a quick kiss into his lips. a soft dimpled smile warmed your soul when your eyes met his. you giggled and swerved around finnick to get to the pancakes.

"finn, could you get the berries from the fridge?" you asked him. "anything for you, pretty," he teased, winking at you. you nudged him in the arm with a giggle on his way to the fridge and opened the cabinet to get plates.

you were stuck with the same problem as last time, and instead of trying to reach for the far-away dishes, you decided to get your boyfriend's help right away. your mouth opened to call for his name but right as you were beginning to speak, he appeared behind you and snagged the plates off the cabinet shelf and placed them on the counter in front of you with a loving kiss on the top of your head. the sudden movement made you flush and you supposed he could tell because he laughed before saying "you're welcome."

you & finnick continued spilling jokes and chit-chatting about your friends while you plated the pancakes and left a little fruit smiley face on his pancake. once you finished, you set the plates down at the table and called finnick over. he smiled wider than ever and gave you a look that said 'i love you so much, you don't even know,' when he saw the little banana eyes and blueberry smile you left on his breakfast. there wasn't any other fitting thing for him to do other than take you by the waist and kiss you again and again to thank you. you giggled as he kissed your face all over. "i love you too, but you should probably eat your food, baby," you told him. he wanted to kiss you and love you for as long as he could, but you were right. after all, he was the one who would encourage you to eat because he cares, and he knew that you cared just as much about him.

it wasn't a lie that you were a great chef, and finnick would be lying if he said that practically anything you cooked tasted amazing. so, as expected, finnick finished his food before you. mouth still a bit full, you asked, "food was good, huh?" which resulted in a chuckle from finnick. you already knew the answer, but you still liked asking anyways.

you finished eating and finnick collected the plates to go do the dishes for you, because he wants to help out with do all of the chores to get some weight off your back. he stood up from his seat and looked over to you in the kitchen for a second, realizing you had a little crumb near the corner of your mouth still. he set the dishes down for a second and walked over to you, who was standing by the counter and wiping off the small mess.

finnick took you by the waist with one hand and cupped your cheek with the other. he leaned down and licked the little piece of food off your lips and pulled away with an all-knowing smirk, leaving you flustered, head fuzzy. all finnick said was "you got a little something on your face, sweetheart." oh, finnick loved teasing you and making you a blushing mess.

───★

© liseytopia 2024 : do not copy, translate, or steal my work.

[mrsnancywheeler]

let me down easy // finnick odair x f. reader

based off this blurb

summary: finnick pushed himself away, isolated himself, and you're slipping through his fingers like sand.

masterlist

3.8k words

warnings: angst, a tiny bit of fluff at the end, a little smutty but also very brief, mental illness, insecurity, paranoia, allusions to cheating (no one is actually cheating), slightly mean!finnick, self destructive behavior on all sides, more insecurities, arguments, feeling isolated, slight blood and injury, female rage things, male masturbation, unedited, no use of y/n, brief mentions of vomiting, girls girls all around, annie cresta my beloved being a girl girl, people pleaser reader

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Once every day had felt like it was full of sunlight, even if there were ups and downs you always had each other by the end of it. Now you weren't even sure if you had yourself, let alone Finnick. Worst of all you had no idea what you'd done wrong, at first you chalked it up to how he'd just returned from the Capitol. But usually his isolation was a day at the most before he'd succumb to your comfort. Instead it had been nearly a month of radio silence.

He stopped the way he'd pepper your face with kisses to wake you up and bring you to the kitchen where he'd have made breakfast, telling you mindless stories about his morning swim. Now if he did anything for you it felt robotic, out of necessity, there was no helping you with your hair, having fun picking out your outfits, he was barely around. Never would you have thought you could be such an outcast in your own home, your own relationship.

At first you'd thought you just weren't doing enough, that he needed some extra love to help him open up. Reluctantly you'd fully wake yourself up when you felt him rise for his swim, take up the position of making him breakfast instead. Busying yourself with his favorites until he returned and you put on your best smile when he did, hopeful it would be somewhat successful.

“Good morning!” You greeted and were met with a confused look, a nod. You'd always hated getting up this early yet here you were and he did nothing.

“I have to take a shower." He muttered and was up the stairs. It was a disappointing resolution, but then your hopes had still been high. So you kept making his favorites throughout the next few days, scattering gifts for him throughout the house, writing notes to hide where he might find them, desperate to show him how much you loved him.

“Where are you going?" Your voice startled him and he slowly turned his head towards you.

Finnick's voice was so dry, rigid, “Fishing."

“Oh, let me get my shoes on, I'll come with!" Bright smiles, you reminded yourself when it felt like wavering.

“I'd rather go alone."

“Right." It wanted to falter so bad, “How long are you gonna be gone? I could make you lunch to go or something."

“I'm okay."

You fidgeted with your fingers, “Yeah, okay, well, um, have fun." Then he was gone, without a kiss, even a hug goodbye. Come to think of it there hadn't been any at all for a while, not even in the morning which is something he'd always do. So after a few days failing with those attempts you'd convinced yourself of a different reason.

“Annie, be honest with me, do you think I'm pretty?" The two of you had been out in the garden of Victors Village and she seemed taken aback.

“Honey, of course you're pretty. You're beautiful, what brought this on?" She dropped what she was doing to look at you.

You darted around the specifics, “What about the way I dress, is it too frumpy?"

“No! There's nothing wrong with anything about you." Her voice was so soft and she felt like the only person you could talk to now that Finnick had pushed himself away from you. “What's going on?"

You felt yourself finally crying all the held back tears you'd hid for the moments alone, “What if he's found someone prettier and more exciting?” You sobbed out and Annie hugged you.

"Finnick worships the ground you walk on, he'd never do that.”

"He barely even talks to me anymore, Annie. It's like I don't exist.”

“He's just going through a rough patch, it's not your fault."

Regardless of what Annie said, you disagreed. He must have had someone else, but you couldn't confront him about it. No, if you did then it would become real and he'd leave you for them. There had to be someone else taking on his hardships and loving him the way he'd once let you. So you bought new makeup, new lingerie, new clothes, tried to feel more attractive, more desirable. Yet it didn't seem like he even noticed.

You'd waited for his return all day, he'd left so early you hadn't even seen him. You made dinner praying that he'd see the effort you made, and find you irresistible once again. Of course, this effort seemed to be in vain.

“Welcome home, Finn!" You greeted when he walked through the front door, pained by the sound of your own faux bubbly voice. You put a plate down in front of his usual seat.

“Thanks." He mumbled and you smiled cheerfully. Perhaps you'd been too solemn and he'd prefer someone who exuded more sunshine-like behavior. “How was your day?" His voice was sharp, curt, but it was a conversation nonetheless. Always better than nothing.

“It was good!" You lied through your teeth, there hadn't been a single moment where your brain hadn't been infested with the thought of him pushing you away, him with someone else. It was something you desiped, you preferred to be in the moment. When you had been confident in yours and Finnick's relationship you could immerse yourself in the company of others, enjoy menial tasks with humming and daydreams, but now the isolation haunted your mind. “Annie and I planted some new flowers and cut some that recently finished blooming. I finally changed our vases out." He didn't even glance around, just kept eating. Your Finnick had always made an effort to look around, praise you for anything you did, he took pride in you, now the only thing he took pride in was being able to avoid you.

He curtly nodded his head in response and you felt like you might snap. Especially as the silence persisted, nothing except the sounds of the house and his fork clinking on the plate. You chewed at your bottom lip, leg bouncing up and down waiting for the smallest bit of conversation, but nothing came. Eventually you shot out of your seat, grabbed your plate, which you were sure you wouldn't be able to stomach, and began cleaning up dinner. Hands gripping each dish so hard as if to contain all the rage you'd been repressing.

“I can clean up." Finnick murmured as he rose.

Being lazy was another thing you thought could be a reason. He did so much for you and whatever you had to offer must not have been enough. Yes, he'd always insisted that you should just be his pretty girl that he could look at when he did the tasks, but in secret he must have just wanted you to resist and do more. So you vehemently shook your head, “No, I've got it!" Your voice was strained and several pitches too high to sound natural.

“It's fine, I can do it.” How dare he have the gall to sound annoyed with you.

“I've got it Finnick, just go to bed!" Or whatever the fuck else is he does to be away from you. You regretted how snappy you were, he wanted someone easy going, not how uptight you were being. But god, hate that man for how he looked like a wounded puppy dog. “Sorry." You muttered, only partially genuine. Harshly grabbing a glass to clean, hands gripping around it, so harshly it seemed that when you went to put it to dry, it shattered in your hand. Your reaction was delayed as you stood there in disbelief, you hated your life, “Fuck.”

Then his hand was on your back and you involuntarily jerked at the contact you hadn't felt for so long. “You're bleeding." How the hell was his voice still so stony, a mystery you'd never know the answer too. It sent tingles up your spine the way his hand was on your back, you missed his touch. He led you to the bathroom where he carefully tended to the cuts in your hand. Carefully taking out the pieces of glass and although you occasionally winced, it was like your brain couldn't comprehend the pain over the buzzing about his hand touching yours. But once he bandaged it up the touch was gone and so was he with a, “I'll clean up."

Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him, fuck him. But you hated being angry with him when he was probably going through something, he'd struggled so much and just needed help. Was it really excusable though when it was tearing you apart to be in all of this. You got up and without a second thought walked straight out the front door. Feet guiding you to the comfort of the beach. Of course it invoked memories of all the better times spent with Finnick, but out here at least you had the ocean. It has started to rain and you didn't care. Walking out into the sea, as far as you could touch, and letting the freedom of the waves surround you. And you screamed, at the sky, at the waters, into the night. Trying so desperately to let go of the aggression, so you could keep trying. Inhaling the salt air before you walked back inside, you could do this. Every relationship had trials and tribulations, but you could be stronger, stick together.

As you were walking back, Finnick was jogging towards you, “Are you okay?" There was actual emotion in his voice, you longed to be privileged to it more often.

“Yeah."

“I thought I… " He trailed off, hand running through his hair. The way he looked like he might cry sparked guilt in you, but also a sick pleasure that he actually cared. “You're gonna get sick." Just as quickly his tone returned to being straight-laced.

You didn't care, if you were sick maybe he would take care of you. So you walked inside and he said nothing. You showered and changed, you'd gotten a new nightgown that left little to the imagination. Maybe you could get a rise out of him, get him to touch you more. But he seemed to be fast asleep by the time you left the bathroom, so you slipped into bed beside him. In the past he'd always sleep with his arms around you, but now you slept beside each other rather than with one another. It left you cold, despite the blankets, which were barely there as he'd always been a blanket hog, which you used to tease him for, but was fine because you were attached to him. Now you laid there and felt yourself crying. You cursed yourself for it, not right now, but you couldn't stop. So you covered your mouth with a hand as you sobbed into it.

The next morning you felt him wake, but there was no energy to make breakfast. You were exhausted and it hadn't made him love you again anyways. So you drifted back off until the sound of floorboards creaking when he returned woke you up. You sat up in bed as he entered the bedroom. “Morning, Finn." The smile you worked hard to maintain was back.

“Morning." He mumbled and then his eyes faltered on you. That's when you remembered the nightgown, it was a relief for something to keep his eyes on you. ‘Love me, even if it's just for my body, love me in some way.’ Your brain begged to no avail. “Shower." He slowly said even though he'd very obviously grown hard.

You felt humiliated, completely embarrassed to be dressed the way you were and him to still not want you. It made you want to cry again, but you had to persist. Rising to get dressed until you heard your name. It took you a second to process that he was moaning it, you were right there and he was getting himself off to the thought of you when he could've just had the actual you. That had to be a new type of low. You hadn't even dared to touch yourself no matter how badly you wanted him because you knew nothing you did could match the things he'd made you feel. Yet here he was, so easily jerking off. There was nothing you could do except seethe as you got ready for your day. At least it was your name and not some other girls.

You were in the kitchen when he walked downstairs, “Going to the market." He announced and you got up from your chair.

“I'm coming too." It wasn't a question.

"No, it's okay. I've just got a couple things to grab.”

"So do I, so I'll just come along to grab them. You don't even have to stick by me, I'm just going.” You were exasperated. Honestly you hadn't left the confines of Victors Village for a while, besides when you tried to recall your look, and this would be a good opportunity to see if he was being honest. There was nothing you really had to get, but at least you'd somewhat had his company.

He said nothing but waited as you put on your sandals and then the two of you set off. The silence was deafening as you two walked, your Finnick would always hold your hand, would've taken you from booth to booth and ramble on endlessly, buy anything you glanced at with interest, but now he stood too far away for your hands to even brush by each other. The bustling of the market was a relief and for the first time in a long time you naturally smiled. Although it was jarring how quickly Finnick put on a smile, made conversation with all these people when he hadn't blessed you with the same thing. In fact, it instantly dampened your mood.

“Haven't seen you in so long, missed seeing that pretty smile!" All your favorite vendors gushed and you'd smile, make small talk. Even if everything made you think of Finnick. When was the last time he'd called you pretty? When was the last time he kissed you?

“You look a little sad, are you alright?" And you'd insist you were just feeling a little under the weather. You'd somewhat kept your distance from Finnick until you saw him laughing with a girl in the market. When was the last time he'd laughed with you? Is this what he did, found pretty girls in the market, charmed them, and went back home with them?

You'd slowly approached and showed fake interest in one of her necklaces. “They're real pearls." She said. She was so pretty, stunning. What did she have that you didn't? You hummed, smiling and without a word, Finnick was handing you money.

‘I don't want your money, I want you to pay attention to me.’ You thought and shook your head, “I don't need your money, Finn." The only thing you'd want from him was something he'd pick out because he wanted to give it to you, something he'd always done if you hadn't been there with him. Showing up at home with little treasures to show off to you. He looked at you quizzically, it wasn't like you had any money of your own on you.

“Is this your girlfriend?" The woman asked, her voice was sweet like sugar, you were too gruff, that's what you were missing.

Right now though, your voice was breathy, anxious. “Yeah." The woman must have been able to sense something off because she looked at you with pity. Finnick left the money on the counter by you regardless of what you said and walked off. You sighed.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know."

You gave a sad smile, “It's okay, not your fault." You picked the money up, ready to go find him.

“He's just a guy, even if he's Finnick Odair, don't let him dim your spark." It should've been encouraging, except you knew you loved him too much to ever leave him.

You found him, chatting and smiling as he bought produce. You missed his smile. “Here." You said quietly, handing him his money.

“Where's the necklace?"

“Didn't need it." You didn't care about needing it, you care that he would rather have you buy things for yourself then make you feel valued.

He huffed, like you were frustrating him, annoying him. “Okay, use it to find something else then. You said you weren't going to stick around me." You couldn't stop yourself from physically recoiling from his venom.

“I just came to tell you I was going home." You said weakly, staring at the ground. “Have fun." Your voice cracked slightly and you didn't even bother looking up as you walked home. Immediately settling yourself into bed where you refused to move. Eventually he came home, something clicked onto the dresser table, the sun went down and you stayed put. When he crawled into bed the most movement you made was flipping onto your side to have the protection of your back facing him.

For days it was a cycle of laying in bed, only rising once he left, usually to stand under the burning hot water in the shower until your skin felt raw. Then immediately returning back to bed. He'd return, put something on the dresser, and you'd stay still. Eventually one night he'd come home and sat at your feet, mattress dipping. “We need to talk."

Your hands clamped over your ears, this was it, he was done with you, all that effort for nothing. The anxiety knotted in your stomach, “I'm gonna be sick." You forced yourself up and found yourself throwing up in the toilet, Finnick holding your hair back.

“Hey, it's okay. It's okay, sweet girl." When you were done you said nothing as you brushed your teeth, praying he would leave and forget whatever bad news he was surely bearing. But he didn't, he waited and sat on the bed, waiting for you. Who exited, arms crossed, trying not to cry.

“Please don't break up with me." It was pathetic to beg for but he stood up, looking bewildered.

“No, no, no, I'm not gonna break up with you, sweet girl. I wouldn't even think of it." His hands cradled your face and you melted into them.

Finally you let the tears fall, "Then what are we talking about?”

"I've been so terrible to you, a terrible partner, a terrible person. I…” He took a deep breath in, "I had a rough time in the Capitol, I always do, especially last time though. And I knew you would be able to tell and try to help, but it was easier for me to just block you out so I didn't have to deal with it. Because it hurts to think about." He was crying and it made your heart ache. "And I took you for granted. I didn't try to be there for you, I was selfish and I can't make up for it enough. I will spend the rest of my life making up for it.”

You were both sobbing and he pressed his forehead to yours. His hands were so warm, his touch was so perfect. "I want to help you.”

"I know.” He pulled his forehead away, putting his hands on your shoulders. "I need you to tell me how you felt. Not the sweet way you usually explain things, be honest, so honest.

You shook your head, “No, it's okay. It was just miscommunication."

“No, I think I nearly broke you and everybody else noticed before I did. I need to know your raw feelings, so I can attempt to make it up to you.” He let go of your shoulders and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I thought you were cheating on me.” You said quietly, anxiously playing with your fingers. He already looked hurt, "Like you found someone else because I wasn't, I don't know, fun enough, pretty enough, hardworking enough. And you didn't want me to do anything with you ever or notice anything I did for you." You took a deep breath, you could feel yourself getting angrily worked up and he could tell.

“If you're angry, be angry." He said and you obeyed.

“And I bought new clothes for you, changed my makeup routine, smiled more, made all your favorites, woke up earlier, tried to take on burdens and you said nothing. Do you know how lonely I was? How bad that made me feel about myself? One day you weren't letting me lift a finger, telling me you loved me, now pretty I was, and the next I thought I'd never hear any of that again, let alone have you touch me. No kisses, or hugs, you didn't even hold me when we slept! And you were so closed off and sometimes mean on top of that and all I wanted was your attention. Until finally I gave up because at least even if you weren't really with me, I still had you, and I didn't want you to leave me just because I found out there was someone else, which is so fucked. And then I thought, maybe at the very least, he’ll have me for my body, I had new lingerie, I tried and you didn't give a fuck. No, you got yourself off in the goddamn bathroom and I was right here!” Your voice had risen and your inhales were sharp between the ranting, "And everytime I hated what you were doing to me, I'd feel bad because what you've been through is so much worse and I should still try to be there for you. So I tried and then you'd be annoyed with me and it was like torture. And I swear to god, if you ever do that again, I'll leave.” A weight lifted off of your chest and he hugged you.

“I'm so sorry, I won't ever do it again, I love you so much, you're so pretty and kind and I need you in my life." You held onto him like he would slip away, kissing away your tears that were falling even though he was also crying. He held you until the sobbing had mostly subsided, “You know I bought you all these stupid gifts when you were laying there, thinking it would make you feel better, but I don't even think you noticed." He chuckled and you turned your head, not wanting to tear away from him. All you could see was the necklace from where you were standing. “Not that it would've done anything after all the time I spent letting the castle crumble around us.

"Thank you.” It was muttered and then he tried to pull out of the hug which made you whine. Trying to cling on forever.

His hand tilted your chin towards him, “You wanna put one of those sets on that you got for me so I can show you how pretty you are and how sorry I am for neglecting my sweet girl?"

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

sorry y'all angst is my default settings. thank you for reading, comments, likes, reblogs, feedbacks is all super appreciated. asks and requests are open, love you all, sorry again 💋

taglist: @wowzabowza69

[libertyybellls]

married fluffy life with finnick??

YES! i see all of your guys inbox and comments and i will very much write this to heal you from “knew the game and played it” very sorry about that! but i very much love this idea!!!

i have a honeymoon with finnick posted but i think genuine married life w him is different.

-

married life with finnick is going to be no short of a dream, this is after the games have been destroyed, you both live in a little house by the shore. and i say little house because he doesn’t care for the glitz and glamour like the victors village did.

all finnick needs is you, the ocean, and your kids.

dad!finnick i can see with little boys, probably aged five and two.

you’ll sit in the sun with your youngest, admiring finnick who’s trying to teach your oldest boy how to surf, desperately trying to pop his little body up on the surfboard.

but earlier in your marriage, when it’s just the two of you, it’s you he’s trying to teach how to surf.

“finnick, how am i supposed to stand up on a board when it’s wet and slippery?” you whine as he has you sat on the surfboard, walking you out through the still water to the waves.

he only laughs at you, “i’m sure thousands of people in panem have figured it out baby, you will too. just go on- i’ll tell you when to pop up.” he cheekily taps your ass with a wink, sending you off once you’ve reached the waves.

once you’ve finally- somewhat- rode the wave he meets you halfway in the water, his hair is wet when he meets you. finnick pulls you into his body, “good girl, i know you’ve got it!” he kisses your forehead, then your cheeks, then moves to your lips- further pulling your body into his as the water around you crashes waves.

you taste the salt on his lips, the devotion in his kiss, he kisses away all your fear- and he blesses the gods that your fear now was only of falling into the water upside down- not of death, or violation.

i also think that yes, the nightmare would still plague you the coming yours after the games ended, he’d had his fair share that you wouldn’t hug him through, whisper sweet nothings in his ear until he fell asleep, you’d tell him his worth and that nothing he’d done would define him, he had no other choice and he was just a scared kid.

you’d wake up a handful of nights screaming, hiding your muffled cries into your pillow.

he’d stretch, snake his arms around you- holding your sweaty body still as sobs wreck your soul, and his.

each cry you let out pains him, “i know baby. i know, sweet girl.” his voice is comparatively deeper due to his short awakening.

-

master list

[waitimcomingtoo]

Bruised Like Violets

Pairing: Peeta Mellark x Reader

Synopsis: you and Peeta are reunited after he is rescued from the Capital (No hijacking)

Masterlist

You raced down the hallway the moment you were told where Peeta was being kept. It had been 8 long, painful weeks of waiting for him to he rescued and finally, you’d gotten word that he was back safely. You pushed past guards and burst into the room he was in, heart pounding when your eyes finally landed in him.

“Peeta?” Your voice came out as barely above a whisper. Peeta had his back to you but you could see just from his neck how skinny he had gotten. He slowly turned to you with a hardened grimace on his face. Once Peeta’s eyes met yours, his entire face softened. His eyes glazed over with tears and his bloodied lip tugged into a smile.

“Hi.” He said in a small voice. You didn’t know what came over you, but you threw your arms around him and kissed him for the first time in 8 weeks. Peeta immediately melted into you and kissed you back out of instinct. When you remembered that your love was just supposed to be an act and there were no cameras around for you to be performing for, you jumped back.

“Sorry.” You said and touched your lips, which were buzzing from kissing him.

“Dont be sorry. Come here.” Peeta shook his head and pulled you back towards him by tugging on your jumpsuit. He kissed you again and you felt your eyes well up with tears as you kissed him back. You wrapped your arms around his neck again and tangled them in his unkept hair to get him as close as possible.

“I missed you so much. I thought you were dead.” You whispered against his lips as your tears fell down your face.

“It’s okay. I’m here now.” He said as he wiped them with his thumbs. That’s when you caught sight of the bruises on his wrists, as if he had been tied down repeatedly against his will. You then took in the rest of him and realize he was half his weight and covered in bruises and welts all over his body.

“Oh, Peeta. What did they do to you?” You whispered and cupped his face to see his black eye better.

“It’s not as bad as it looks. Don’t worry about it.” He lied as you continued to inspect his arms.

“Don’t worry? All I’ve been able to do since they separated us was worry about you. The only reason I agreed to be the Mockingjay was because they said they’d rescue you. You’re the only thing that’s been on my mind since the arena.”

“I didn’t know I meant that much to you.” Peeta said through a cracked smile.

“You’re joking, right?” You cracked a smile back before leaning in to kiss him again. You weren’t used to kissing when there were no cameras around, but you missed him so much that you didn’t even think about it.

“I’m so glad they got you out of there. I would’ve never forgiven Haymitch if you died. Or Finnick. Or Joanna. If I lost you…” You trailed off as your eyes welled up again. Peeta shook his head and cupped your face to get you to look at him.

“You didn’t lose me. I’m right here.” He told you. You broke into a smile and pulled him into a tight hug.

“You’re real. You’re in my arms again.” You gushed as you squeezed him as tightly as you could. Your moment was interrupted by one of the nurses taping your shoulder.

“We need to bathe him and dress his wounds.” She let you know.

“Can she stay?” Peeta asked without letting go of you.

“You probably won’t want to see this.” The nurse told you as she held up some gauze and sutures. You looked over at Peeta whose big brown eyes looked scared at the thought of being left alone again. You just got him back, so there was no way you were leaving again.

“It’s okay. I’ll stay.” You said to him. The nurse gave you a look and went behind Peeta to unbutton his hospital gown. When the gown dropped, your jaw went with it. Almost every inch of his emaciated body was black and blue. You could tell he had been whipped and beaten over a long period of time. You started to cry without even realizing it but quickly wiped your tears it look brave for him.

“It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt anymore.” He assured you while the nurse started to dress his wounds.

“There’s no way that doesn’t hurt.” You whispered.

“You’re right. Hold my hand, please? So I can squeeze it.” He asked innocently. You couldn’t help but smile and took his hand to give it a big squeeze.

“Still keeping up with the lover boy act I see.” One of the nurses mentioned as the stitched something up in Peeta’s arm.

“I’ve gotten really good at it. You’d almost think it was real.” Peeta chuckled without looking at you, but it made you blush nonetheless.

“Almost.” You nodded, making Peeta look at you.

“I heard you had quite the lover girl act going yourself.” The nurse continued.

“What do you mean?” Peeta asked curiously.

“Yeah, what?” You laughed in embarrassment.

“You’re the Mockingjay. People watch you and then talk. I heard you were screaming and crying and hugging the TV every time Peeta was on. And then screaming some more at anyone who made a comment about the things Peeta was saying.”

“I was forced-“ Peeta began.

“I know. I made sure everyone knew. That wasn’t the real you that I know.” You cut him off before he could apologize. Peeta smiled fondly at you now that he knew you had been fighting for him, even when you were separated.

“It’s hard to remember the real me.” He admitted.

“I remember him. I’ll remind you.” You shrugged. Peeta smiled again, but just for a second until he was flinching from his sutures.

“It’s okay. I got you.” You squeezed his hand before kissing his knuckles. Peeta forgot about his pain momentarily and felt himself blush. You were being a lot nicer to him than anyone had been to him in a while. But even if he had been treated with nothing but kindness, any affection coming from you was enough to send a blush across his face.

“You need a haircut.” You said, pulling Peeta out of his thoughts.

“Thanks.” He chuckled and shyly ran his fingers through his hair. You felt bad for poking fun when you remembered he didn’t have any basic luxury for weeks and a haircut was probably the last thing on his mind.

“Or maybe keep it. Your curls are coming out.” You noticed and tugged on one of his blond ringlets.

“I know. I usually try to avoid that. It makes me feel like one of those white dogs they have in the Capital.”

“Hey. That sounds like someone remembers the old you.” You smiled at his remark.

“Yeah. I guess I do.” Peeta smiled in return.

“We need to bathe him now.” The nurse told you. Peeta looked around at the room full of female nurses and felt embarrassed.

“I can do it.” You said when you saw his face.

“Are you sure?” He asked you.

“I don’t mind. It’s not like I haven’t done it before.” You shrugged and thought back to bathing him in the River during the first Games.

The nurses ran Peeta a bath while you helped him limp into the bathroom. Once his bath was ready, you helped him into it and got to work cleaning him off. You started with his hair, that looked like it hadn’t been washed since well before the second Games. Peeta was quiet as you poured water over his head until the water ran clear.

“You don’t have to do this.” He said quietly as you gently cleaned his skin.

“Yes I do. You’d do it for me, wouldn’t you?”

“I would.” Peeta admitted before a comfortable silence settled between you. You’d been on the brink of death together and forced to feign a romance in front of the whole world, but this moment felt far more intimate than anything you’d done so far.

“This reminds me of the cave.” Peeta said after a minute.

“You remember the cave?”

“I remember every second. You took care of me. Just like this.”

“It’s what we do.” You shrugged and kept cleaning.

“When have I ever taken care of you?” He laughed sadly and looked up at you.

“You’ve taken care of me plenty of times. I usually take care of your body. You take care of my mind.”

“I guess we make a good team that way.” Peeta smiled shyly.

“We do. And that’s why we’re never getting separated again.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I know. But I can do my best to never let you out of my sight again.”

“I’ll do the same.” Peeta promised and looked up at you again. You cupped his chin and leaned down to kiss his nose, feeling his wet eyelashes brush against you as he closed his eye s

“Good. Now let’s get you dried off and I’ll show you to the dining hall.”

After helping Peeta get dressed, you linked your arm through his and guided him towards the dining hall. All eyes were on him as you got a tray and got on like. Some people thought he was dead while others thought he was a traitor for the things Snow had forced him to say on TV. But most people saw him as a hero and gave him warm smiles as they passed.

“Everyone is looking at me.” He whispered in your ear.

“They’re probably just excited to meet you after all the stories I told about you.” You shrugged and loaded up yours and Peeta’s plate with bread and soup.

“Yeah? Like what?” He smirked and looked at you.

“Like how loud you were in the woods when I was trying to quietly make it to the Cornucopia.” You teased him. Peeta rolled his eyes at you and wrapped an arm around your waist to keep himself balanced as you walked to a table.

“Hey Peeta. Nice to see you back.” Someone you didn’t recognize smiled at Peeta and patted his shoulder as he passed.

“See? They love you here. Because they know I love you and I’m basically a celebrity around here so they have to like what I like.” You whispered to him ad you sat down together across from Annie, and Finnick.

“Did you just say you love me?” Peeta pretended to gasp. You scrunched your nose and shoved a strawberry in his mouth to shut him up. You and Peeta noticed at the same time that Annie and Finnick were fully engaged in a makeout session now that they had been reunited. You gulped while Peter blushed and you made quick eye contact with each other. You didn’t really know the nature of your relationship at this point. There were no cameras to fake it for but being without him for 8 weeks made you realize you hadn’t faked a single thing.

“Of course I love you. You’re my husband, aren’t you?” You said after a minute to ease the tension. Peeta smile and took your hand to jokingly kiss your ring finger.

“That’s right. How could I forget we’re married.” Peeta humored you and squeezed your hand. Gale cleared his throat and the two of you finally realized he had sat down. Gale was eating his soup while staring daggers at Peeta, who looked uncomfortable.

“Aren’t you gonna say hello?” You calmly asked Gale.

“Hey, Peeta.” Gale grunted.

“Hi Gale. Thanks for helping to get me out of there.” Peeta said politely.

“No problem.” Gale muttered and looked away. Peeta’s hands had been bandaged after his bath so you got some of his soup on his spoon and held it up to his lips.

“Open.” You instructed. Peeta opened his mouth to accept the soup and swallowed it while you ripped up some bread for him. You put that in his mouth as well before giving him a glass of water. Peeta happily ate his food and smile at you in appreciation.

“Seriously?” Gale laughed meanly.

“What?” You wondered.

“You two. Do you really have to feed him?”

“I don’t have to. I want to. I missed him.” You shrugged and turned away from Gale to continue feeding Peeta.

“That doesn’t mean you have to feed him. He’s not a baby.” Gale said as if Peeta wasn’t right there.

“It’s okay. I can do it.” Peeta said and took the spoon from you. His hands shook as he dipped the spoon into his soup and it got worse as he tried to bring it to his mouth. By the time the spoon reached his lips, there was nothing left on it. You shot Gale an angry look for making Peeta feel like he had something to prove before taking the spoon again.

“I’ll do it. You fed me once.” You said and gave Peeta another bite.

“But this isn’t the first time you’ve fed me. I owe you one now.” Peeta said with a smile.

“Don’t worry about me. I have no problems stuffing my face.”

“It’s true. I’ve seen it.” Gale chimed in to remind Peeta that while he had been gone, Gale had been right there with you.

“It’s not very attractive.” You told Peeta.

“I’m sure anything you do is attractive.” Peeta replied, making you smile.

“Y/n, you left your shirt in my room last night.” Gale said, making everyone at the table look at him. Peeta frowned sadly and looked at you, expecting you to admit that you and Gale had been seeing in each other in a new way in Peeta’s absence.

“Oh. Thanks. I can grab it later.” You told Gale. Gale looked at Peeta and smirked, confirming Peeta’s worst fears.

“You were in his room last night?” Peeta asked quietly and looked at you.

“Gales been on the frontlines a lot and he’s been showing me some things he learned in training. One of them was how to make a tourniquet out of a shirt. I wanted to learn because if I had made yours properly during the first Games, you would’ve have lost your leg.” You said with a guilty look in your eyes.

“Hey, that tourniquet saved my life. I would’ve lost a lot more than my leg if you hadn’t made it. Don’t blame yourself.” Peeta said as he put his hand on top of yours. Gale looked between the two of you with jealousy brewing before speaking up again.

“I think I’m gonna skip training today. I’m still tired from how late we were up last night.” Gale added. You caught on to what Gale as trying it do and turned to a very jealous looking Peeta.

“We were up late discussing the menu for Haymitchs birthday dinner. It’s coming up soon and we wanted to hunt to have something special for him.” You explained.

“That’s nice. Maybe I can bake something for him.” Peeta offered.

“We have enough food planned.” Gale said, making Peeta’s smile fall.

“We can never have enough food.” You insisted. “I’m sure Haymitch would love it.”

“Do you think they’d let me in the kitchen?” Peeta chuckled and nodded towards the kitchen.

“If I ask them to, they would. I don’t mean to brag, but I get anything I ask for around here. It’s the perks of being the face of their revolution.”

“What have you asked for so far?” Peeta wondered.

“Just you. And now I have it so I need to think of some other things to ask for. Like getting you some baking time.” You smiled sweetly at him and touched his shoulder. You wanted Peeta to have some time to bake to remind himself of who he was. Peeta put his hand over yours and smiled in appreciation.

“You know there’s no cameras around here, right?” Gale said, taking your attention away from each other.

“We know.” You laughed in annoyance.

“So what’s with the act?” Gale asked, making Peeta gulp. He looked at you curiously, also wondering if your kindness towards him was part of the act.

“There is no act. You haven’t been through what we’ve been through. We missed each other. Let us reunite in peace.” You said simply as you kept your hand on Peeta. Peeta smiled in content and rested his head on your shoulder.

“So are you guys dating now? For real?” Finnick came up for air long enough to ask. You felt Peeta tense up on your shoulder and lifted his head to look at you. He was wondering the exact same thing, but didn’t know how to voice it. Things had been different between you before you were separated and the way you were acting Joe only made Peeta further believe that your feelings had shifted into something real.

“Can everyone leave us alone? What’s with all the questions?” You laughed awkwardly and took a bite of your bread. Finnick chuckled and held up his hands in defense while Gale gave Peeta the death glare. Peeta gave Gale a simple shrug before putting his head back down on your shoulder. You heard him yawn and looked down at him.

“Tired?”

“Exhausted.” He nodded with his eyes shut.

“Me too. Let’s get some sleep.”

You said goodbye to Finnick and Annie before taking Peeta’s arm to lead him out of the dinning hall. You brought him to the hallway where the bedrooms were and led him to the room you’d been staying it.

“My roommate is Prim but she has the night shift in the medical wing tonight.” You told him. You turned around and saw Peeta by your door, looking longingly at your bed. It had probably been a long time since he had somewhere soft to rest his head and a bed had never looked so inviting.

“They said they set up a room for me-“

You cut him off by rushing into his arms and holding him tight. Peeta stumbled back a little before hugging you back and resting his cheek against your head.

“Stay.” You whispered against his chest.

“Always.” Peeta said automatically. You hugged him for a few moments longer before climbing into bed. Peeta climbed in after you and lifted his arm so thta you could lay your head over his heart. Peeta wrapped an arm around you and you held his hand to he as close as possible.

“Can you believe how Gale was acting back there? He’s so different now. I feel like I don’t know him anymore.” You said to fill the silence that had settled.

“I think he’s mad that I was with you in the Games and he wasn’t.” Peeta replied.

“I don’t understand him. Why would anyone wish what we went though for themselves?”

“I don’t think he’s thinking about it like that. I think he’s just embarrassed that some other guy was kissing you on TV for everyone to see. And then winning the Games with you. And going on a victory tour with you. Twice. I mean, the whole entire world was rooting for us to be in love. He had to watch our fake engagement, wedding and pregnancy. I can’t imagine how that felt for him.”

“Why would he care? It’s not like I was his girlfriend.” You reminded Peeta.

“But he had feelings for you. Anyone can see it. That’s why he hates me.” Peeta said with a soft chuckle. You frowned in the darkness and tilted your chin to look up at Peeta.

“He has to get over that, then.” You shrugged. “It’s not my or your problem that he had feelings for me. He doesn’t get to be mean to you just because he wants my relationship with him to be like my relationship with you.”

Peeta was quiet for a while after that. The only sound in the room was coming from the sounds of your breathing.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked as you looked up at him again.

“Nothing.” He chuckled.

“Tell me.” You urged and shook him a little. Peeta let out another soft chuckle and looked down at you.

“If it were me, I would hate whatever guy was on TV kissing you too.” He admitted. A smile tugged at your lips as you propped yourself up on your elbow.

“We’re not on TV now, are we?” You asked him. Peeta sat up as well so that you were at the same level.

“I don’t think so.” He smiled shyly as he shook his head. Peeta looked into your eyes with his big brown ones before letting his gaze drop to your lips.

“And yet, you’re the only boy I want to kiss.” You said quietly. Peeta jutted his head back a little in surprise before leaning towards you. His eyes slowly shut and yours did the same as you met in a soft kiss. The kiss slowly became heated and you were soon in his lap with his hands up your shirt.

“We can take it slow. I know you’ve been through a lot.” You whispered against his lips.

“I don’t need slow. I just need you.” Peeta shook his head before kissing you again.

“I want to be with you. For real this time. Not pretend.” You said between kisses.

“Real?” Peeta smiled hopefully as he looked into your eyes. You nodded your head and replied before pulling him into a kiss again.

“Real.”

[cabotwife]

omgg johanna x reader where r volunteers for annie instead of mags? 🤔

thank you for requesting! i hope you enjoy <3

Hey, Brother

Johanna Mason x Fem!Reader, Finnick Odair x Fem!Sister!Reader

warnings: poorly written angst, mention of sex trafficking, not proofread

word count: 1258

a/n: hey guys! thank you so much for all the requests, i promise i'm working on them all as quickly as i can.

the room fell into a deafening silence. Finnick stood frozen in place, his eyes wide as he stared at his younger sister. the words had left your mouth before you had a chance to think, a desperate plea to the universe.

“i volunteer as tribute,” you found yourself repeating, the words tasted bitter on your tongue. you locked eyes with your brother, his usually bright eyes were dull with shock. his girlfriend, the woman who had slowly become a sister to you, stood beside to you. her eyes were filled with tears, threatening to spill over any second. you had just volunteered for her.

the tension in the room was palpable, you could feel the weight of everyone's gaze on you. suddenly, your skin felt hot, and the air was heavy with fear and anticipation, the silence was broken only by the soft sobs of Annie.

“y/n-” Finnick began, his voice was choked with emotion but you cut him off with a shake of your head. you didn’t need his protest, this was your decision, your sacrifice. the announcer, a man with a voice too cheerful for the occasion, quickly moved onto announcing the male tribute, effectively ending the discussion.

the atmosphere thick with suspense as the man reaches into the bowl, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. his fingers dance over the folded slips of paper before finally settling on one. he slowly, almost painfully, pulls it out, leisurely unfolding it as if to prolong the tension. his gaze drops to the paper, absorbing the name written there before raising his eyes to meet the audience's expectant gaze. the name echoes through the silent room, "Finnick Odair."

as the name settles in the air, you can feel your heart plummet to your stomach. your eyes, wide with shock and disbelief, dart to the other male victors, silently begging them to volunteer in your brother's place. but none of them do. why would they? you were all promised peace and safety if you managed to survive your respective games. how dare they betray that promise and bring you back into the fray, turning you against these people you’ve known, and grown fond of, for so long?

your frantic thoughts are interrupted by Finnick gently cupping your cheeks and pulling your face towards him. the sincerity in his voice is like a balm to your fraying nerves as he mutters, “you’ll be okay." his eyes, full of determination and promises, bore into yours. "i’ll keep you safe.” he mutters, pressing a soft kiss to your hairline before holding your head under his chin in a hug.

Finnick had always been your protector, sacrificing everything to keep you safe, to keep the people he loved out of harm's way. when he denied his body to the capitol, you had been reaped just the following year. in his eyes, that was his punishment for his disobedience.

pulling away from him, your hand presses firmly against his chest as you meet his gaze. “no, Finn, you need to keep yourself safe. okay? you have- you have Annie, you need to be okay for her.” your voice cracks, tears welling up in your eyes despite your best efforts to hold them back.

before your brother can respond, you are torn from each other's arms, whisked away to your respective rooms as they prepare the train to the capitol.

sitting in silence, you are left alone with your thoughts, which prove to be overwhelming. as much as you want to focus on your brother's safety, your thoughts drift to a certain short-haired brunette girl. your brother’s best friend.

the realization of these thoughts terrifies you, but you know they’re true. Johanna is the only living female victor of District 7, she’s going to be in the arena with you, with Finnick. your mind races with images of the other victors, the potential tributes, most of them your friends, people you’ve practically grown up with.

you're painfully aware that you won't make it out of this arena alive. you don't possess the same fighting instincts as the others. your victory in your games came from hiding, staying just out of sight, letting the others kill each other off. the very thought of having to kill a stranger is unbearable, let alone people you care about. the mere idea of having to harm one of your friends, of losing your brother, of losing Johanna is enough to make your stomach churn.

—

"are you completely out of your fucking mind?!" you hear the loud, scathing words, each one landing like a punch. the voice is painfully familiar and it inevitably makes you flinch, your body involuntarily shrinking inwards.

Finnick flashes you a knowing smirk, patting your shoulder in a show of mock solidarity. "all yours, champ," he chuckles, his amusement clear as the day. he then saunters off towards a shadowy figure in the distance, a girl whose face you can’t quite make out, probably that District 12 girl he knew.

you take a deep, steadying breath before spinning around. there, standing in front of you, is Johanna Mason in all her intimidating glory. "Johanna," you greet, a gentle smile playing on your lips, a stark contrast to the situation at hand. "you look beautiful." attempting to soften the tension, you place your hand on the side of her bicep.

"do not," she practically snarls, her anger palpable as she slaps your hand away with a quick, sharp movement. "what the hell were you thinking, y/n? volunteering? Why the fuck would you do that?!" her stern tone echoes around you.

"Annie... she couldn't handle coming back here, Jo," you attempt to explain, your words desperate. "you have to understand…" as you speak, you silently curse the feelings you harbor towards the brunette. in this moment, you can't help but feel like a chastised child.

in many ways, you are a child. the games stole your innocence, your childhood, forcing you to navigate through a maze of emotions in the most unhealthy manner.

Johanna's sigh breaks the silence. the frustration is evident in her posture, her face, everything about her. "listen to me, okay?" she pleads, placing her hands on your shoulders with a firm grip. "i need you to stay with me, and trust in what i do, alright? i'll keep you safe." her voice is uncharacteristically soft.

you blink at her, taken aback. "both you and Finnick have said that to me now," you groan, shrugging her hands off of you. "i can take care of myself, Johanna. i know you guys don’t want to believe it, but it’s true. i’m just as much an adult as you are," your words are blunt, full of pent-up frustration.

"hey, no," the brunette argues, her grip tightening on your shoulders once more. "i know you’re an adult, y/n, i just- i'll feel a lot better in the arena knowing you’re safe." you frown, about to retort, but Johanna cuts you off, "promise me."

you sigh, "Johanna-"

"no, promise me. now," she insists, her eyebrows furrowing as she holds eye contact with you, her grip unyielding. "promise me, y/n. please."

your eyes search hers, finding nothing but sincerity. "fine." you grumble.

"say it, tell me you promise you’ll stay close to me."

"what if-"

"no 'what ifs', say it," she narrows her eyes, the intensity of her gaze unrelenting.

"i promise i’ll stay close to you," you mutter, puffing out your cheeks in defeat.

[wonderlandwalker]

Trying to Forget | Finnick Odair x Reader

THG Masterlist / Taglist / Inbox

Summary: Part 2 of Remember. Finnick is trying to make peace with simply being your friend, because he thinks that is better than not getting to see you at all, but he might be proven painfully wrong. Find part 3 here

Content Warnings/Tags: Memory loss, insinuations of smut, angst, foreshadowing

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: I have seen all your requests so here it is, part 2 of Remember. Happy ending is unfortunately not part of my vocabulary so this will have to do. I want to write more as a continuation of this but I have a big exam coming up so unless someone wants to take that for me I might have to take a break for a little bit

He still wasn't used to it, to see you there, to see you sitting next to your friends and how he had to join them as if that’s all he was, a friend. And don't get him wrong, he was glad you were there, he was thankful they had found you, but it hurt too.

You spend your days as if nothing was wrong, and he supposes to you there wasn't. He had to hold himself back from falling to your feet and praying to the gods to give you back to him. And he didn't understand what he had done wrong to deserve this punishment. He knows he has made mistakes in his life, but surely the cruelty of his current situation could not be matched by any and all of his past. When you look at him with those eyes full of excitement he wants to kiss you and make you remember, but it would only push you further away. So he pretends, he pretends he’s okay with the way things are, that he is okay with being a friend. 

He tries to let go, he really does. He tries to separate you from his love for you. He tries to remember not to hug you from behind when he walks into a room, but every time he remembers a piece of him withers away. 

And he doesn't know how to deal with this, because whenever he was upset, he would go to you. He would talk to you, or lay down next to you, and your presence would assure him he’d get through it, it would show him what he was doing it all for. But your presence isn't assuring anymore, it's shattering.

So he’s stopped touching you, he’s stopped looking at you like you’re about to remember him again, he’s stopped showing you affection. But he doesn't know what to do with himself, he’s spent as long as he can remember loving you, and he doesn't know where to channel this hole that is threatening to swallow him. So he makes sure you have everything he knows will light up your days, even if you don’t remember, he’ll remember for you. He makes sure they don't run out of blueberry jam because he remembers the time you told him it made the perfect breakfast with yoghurt. And whenever he does, you always look so surprised, asking him how they possibly could have known, but the real question is how he could possibly ever forget. 

Yes, he’ll remember for you. He’ll remember how you get cold at night after a long day, and he convinces someone to stack an extra blanket on your bed. And you might think it’s a coincidence every time, but he’ll never let coincidence make a turn for the worse. 

He sees when you go to visit the doctor, but he doesn't know what is going on anymore, because he isn't your boyfriend anymore. He’s asking people, bribing people to tell him, but it rarely works, because it’s confidential, and he no longer holds the privilege to your heart. 

There’s a small party tonight, and he knows you’ll be there. He knows because you’ve become close to Johanna, you laugh with her and you spend your days with her. And he’s glad that you’ve found someone you can talk to, but he still wished it had been him. In a way, it’s a small victory, because Johanna has taken pity on him. In any other situation, he’d tell her he didn't need it, he didn't need anyone's sorrow to comfort him, but he’d just be lying to himself and she knows it too. In any other situation he would have shut down on himself, he would have locked himself in his room and not come out. But you’re still here, haunting him like a ghost from a comforting dream he once had, so he goes on as usual, but it might be worse this way. 

Yet he still takes every crumb he can find, and so here he is. He’s standing around talking as if everything isn't so very, very wrong. He sees you walk in, and he wants to look away, because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, but he just can't. He remembers the dress you’re wearing, and if you had too he would have called you cruel for it. But he knows you don't, he knows it's just him basking in the memory of your skin against his, and that you probably don’t even remember what he feels like anymore.

He recalls the memory as clear as day, but if someone has been repeating them in their head like he had been, there wouldn't be any other option. You’re wearing the dress you wore on your anniversary last year. He had seen you wearing it and insisted on staying in, but you just laughed at him and called him silly for the idea, he didn't think it had been silly. He thought that if you had let him, he would have cancelled everything he had spent weeks planning. Because truly, all he really needed was you. You had shown him the dress and asked him how you looked. He had said you looked good enough to eat, and he was ready to prove his point to you over and over until the sun went down and took his vision of you with it, and even then he would have gladly continued.

But this time he doesn't get to, he sees you walk in with Johanna by your side, and he honestly doesn't know if this was intentional, but the grin she gets when she sees him watching tells him it isn't purely coincidental. Johanna had taken pity on him, but she was testing him as payment. 

All he wants to do is walk over to you, take your hand and kiss the soft base of your palm as you start to giggle nervously. He wants to, but he can’t. He can’t because this time you won't grace his ears with laughter, you’d just pull away. And he tries not to think of the way he wants to trail his fingers from your silk hair to the top of your dress. He tries to distract himself from the urge to kiss you while he drags the zipper down your back. He tries not to remember the way you used to moan his name as he traced a path up your thighs with his lips. 

He wants to forget, he wants to forget so he can find peace again. With all of his might he tries to forget, as if that will make everything more bearable. But in reality, if he did forget, he didn't think he would ever forgive himself.

He tears his eyes away from you and starts to leave before you can meet them, and if he hadn't, if he had given into his wish to keep getting lost in the vision that you were to him, he might have seen the smallest spark of memory flash through your eyes. He might have seen you walk his way to greet him with a new sense of sentiment, trying to nourish the bubbles that had surfaced after the storm. But he never gets the chance, because he has convinced himself keeping his hopes up was futile, he had resigned himself so much to a life of admiring you from a distance that he didn't even consider it might not be forever, that even the cruellest of circumstances can't keep two people destined for each other apart. But if he wasn't careful, the scissors of the fates might take it from him once more before he got the chance to see it.

Part 3: The Will of the Moirai

[lunamadhatter99]

All for the cameras

Chapter 1

Finnnick Odair x Fem!reader

So... here's the first chapter of my Finnick series. I hope you'll like it and comment if you want to be tagged in the next chapters.

I warn you, it's a slow burn with LOTS of tension. But I think it's going to be worth it in the end. ❤️❤️❤️

Chapter summary: Y/n is the Capitol's Princess. Everybody in the Capitol loves her... unfortunately for her. This first chapter is a little introduction about her role as a "support mentor".

Chapter warnsings: mention of rape, prostitution, and... it's the Hunger Games... what can you expect.

The Victory Tour is probably the one thing I like about the Hunger Games. The attention of the Capitol isn't directly at me, but at the Victor in question, especially the pervs' attention.

Everyone thinks that being President Snow's protégé is like being Capitol's Princess, well... that's just what the cameras catch, but it really isn't. I am no different from someone living in the districts.

I am a slave like anyone else.

Even though I won't have to deal with the creeps at the Capitol during the tour, I still have a job to do, I can't exactly let out a sigh of relief.

This tour is probably the hardest one I've ever had to experience. Turning a hunter into an actress for the Capitol is no easy job.

Katnis has many skills... many, but pretending to be in love with someone isn't her best. Unfortunately, her life, anyone's life, actually depends on it.

Snow made it clear to me.

I arrive in district 12 with Effie and the rest of the crew, ready to help the two victors make everything as believable as possible.

I decided to go to Peeta first, while Effie and Cinna went to Katniss.

"Yes?" Peeta calls from behind the door.

"It's Y/n," I answer.

He immediately opens the door to let me and his stylist in and pulls me in a big hug.

"I'm happy to see you," he says, almost relieved.

"Well, it's my job, pretty boy," I pull away with a smile, "how do you feel today?"

He takes a moment to answer.

"I'm okay, I guess, nervous too,"

"You'll be fine, trust me. You're a natural." I try to lighten the mood. He does chuckle, but I think it's not to make me feel bad. "Did Haymitch tell you what to expect, or did he offer a drink?"

"A bit of both," he actually chuckles this time, "more of the latter, but yeah."

"Good," I let out a small laugh too, "I guess a good thing about your situation is that maybe you two can help each other out."

"If she stopped treating me like a wounded puppy..." he bitterly says, shrugging.

"Yeah, well, try talk to her. Your situation is already hard as it is, dealing with it on your own... it's suicide."

He nods, so I decide to let his stylist work and go see how Katniss is doing.

"Hey there," I say once I enter the room Katniss is getting ready in.

"Hi," she says.

"How are you?" I ask, sitting on a chair.

"I've been better," she forces a smile in my direction.

"I figured," I send her a sympathetic smile in return.

I look around the studio, the atmosphere is quite cold despite the luxury, we are still in 12 after all. My eyes stop suddenly on the desk, that was pushed a little out of the way to make more room.

"That's..." I start, my throat feels tight all of a sudden, "That's a pretty rose."

I notice Katniss tensing at the observation.

Confirming my suspicion.

Snow's been here.

"Yeah," she flatly says. She turns to look at me, with a look that seems suspicious... or cautious, more likely.

I respond with a sympathetic look. Hopefully, she will understand I'm just as tense as her. She seems to, because she half smiles at me.

"It's showtime," Effie cheers, walking in.

"Break a leg," I say, hugging myself as I watch her heading to the door.

I take a deep breath and decide I need a drink, and the only person who can help me is a certain victor.

I sneak out from the back and walk to Haymitch's house.

"Haymitch?" I call as I knock at his door.

"It's open," I hear his grumpy tone from the inside, so I let myself in and look around for Haymitch.

"Oh!" He calls from the kitchen, "it's the Princess herself! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Care to help a lady out? I need a drink,"

"Take whatever you want," he offers, taking a sip of his own drink.

I look around at the variety of bottles on display, finding my drink of choice. I take the whole bottle.

"You don't mind if I don't use a glass, do you?" I say, sitting down with him.

"Make yourself at home," he actually chuckles at that, and I soon follow after taking a big sip from the bottle.

This is what I like more about this tour, Haymitch's company. We can just sit in total silence and still be able to give each other comfort. He's one of the very few people who knows the truth behind the Princess facade, and I know about what happened to his family.

"Ready for the tour, princess?" He suddenly asks me.

"It's the only time I get to feel like my own person again, so... yeah, I'm ready," I answer with a bitter smile, "what about you?"

"It's gonna be hard for them," he simply says.

"I know," I deeply sigh, taking another big sip, "they need us... and we need them."

Haymitch just nods.

"Things are about to change," he says, almost solemnly, "better keep those eyes open."

I send him a questioning look to which he answers with a wink. Then, a knock on the door prevents him from elaborating if he even wanted to.

"Guess it's time to go," he announes, clapping his hands.

"Let the show begin," I take one last gulp before following him out and towards the train station with everyone else.

--------------

We're heading to the first stop of this journey, distric 11. I already know this particular stop is gonna be hard for my Victors, especially Katniss. I take notice of her quietness and the tension in her body as Effie keeps in rumbling about all the fabulous things this tour will provide.

"Fabulous food, fabulous wine, the massages, spa treatments." She explains, "I told them nothing but the best for my two victors. It all needs to be..."

"Fabulous?" Haymitch finishes for her with a hint of teasing in his voice, mimicking her demeanour. I try to hide my smile into my cup in tea.

"Exactly." Effie answer, not bothered by him, "Now, the schedule is a bit of a bear. 12 days, 12 districts. But it's mostly parties, celebrations, adoring fans to greet you at every stop along the way, and then wrap it up on the Capitol. All you need to do is give a few speeches, wave at the crowds, and enjoy your time in the spotlight. You've earned it."

Oh shit.

"What did you say?" Katniss, basically, demands.

Here we go.

"Katniss." Peeta calls, trying to calm her or make her drop the subject.

"I said, 'Enjoy it, Katniss, you've earned it.'" Effie repeats.

"By killing people." Katniss scoffs and stands up to leave, ignoring Effie's weak try at scolding her.

There's silence.

"Well, isn't this a good start?" I say, holding my hand out to Haymitch, who catches on and passes me a bottle of whiskey chuckling.

I ignore Effie's glare and pour some alcohol into my tea.

My eyes lock with Peeta's, so I take the opportunity to glance at the direction Katniss went to silently telling him to go check on her. He nods and gets up to follow Katniss.

Haymitch follows him with his eyes, then turns to me.

"Are you plotting something?" He asks.

"Not at all." I simply answer, "they need to stop avoiding each other like the plague when they're not on TV. It's better to pretend to be in love with a friend than a stranger."

He simply looks at me nodding, impressed.

Effie lets out an annoyed puff and walks away.

Once she's out of the carriage, I turn towards Haymitch.

"Anything to say about my eyes?" I ask, hinting at the conversation we had back at his house.

He simply smiles and pours some more alcohol into his glass.

"Just keep 'em open, princess," he says, "wide open, guard up."

I roll my eyes, "Alright, alright. I will. Anything else you wanna share?"

"Did you hear from a certain fisherman?" Haymitch asks, instead of answering my questions.

"I don't know what you're talking about. " I say shrugging, and I take a sip from my cup.

"Mh," he hums, "isn't he the first Victor you helped train?"

"Why all these questions?" I slightly snap.

"No reason. This is the first time we get to properly bond, don't wanna waste it,"

"You want to bond?" I let out an incredulous laugh, "why?"

"I just proclaimed myself your... father figure," he opens his arms to present himself.

"Okay..." I trail off, standing up, "Whatever you say,"

I start to walk off, too, shaking my head slightly laughing.

"Oh, c'mon!" I hear him yell and laugh.

I shake my head while I'm heading to my room to rest a bit before we arrive in district 11.

As I lay on the bed, my mind can't help but wander to said fisherman.

Finnick freaking Odair. Winner of the 65th Hunger Games.

That was my 4th time assisting the mentors in preparing the tributes for the games. At the time, Snow wanted the people to see me more involved in the making of the games since they 'love' me so much. The president saw this as an opportunity, I saw it as a punishment, having to help train tributes, some of them being my age only to see them get killed. Then the 65th Hunger Games came, and so did Finnick. We were the same age, bonding was inevitable, even though he was cautious... which was understandable, but we managed before he had to go into the arena.

When he won, I was the happiest I've ever been. Then when he came back he was changed, again, that's understandable, but he started to push me away... with no explanation.

Then we both turned 16. Then we were forced to be close again.

----------

A knock on the door pulled me away from my thoughts, Haymitch's voice warning me we had arrived in district 11, and it was time to go.

We get out of the train, expecting some people celebrating and stuff like that, but nothing of sort. Effie is quick to express her disapproval.

They lead us to a car and let us in, where Effie start to explain the situation to Katniss and Peeta.

"The mayor will make some introductory remarks. And then you just have to say a few words." She says, "it's customary, of course, to give a brief eulogy to the district's fallen Tributes. For 11, that's Thresh and Rue. Here are the speeches."

Effie hands some piece of paper for them to take, I see Katniss' expression falling even more at the mention of Rue, predictable, so Peeta offers to be the one doing the talking. Katniss' grateful face almost breaks my heart, I'm... sort of used to see children die in the games, she wasn't... worst of all, she built a friendship with her.

"You got this." I say to them both, Peeta sends me a kind smile, while Katniss nods and takes a deep breath.

We arrive at the Justice Building, where we all wait for the mayor to call the Victors out.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Victors of the 74th Hunger Games. Katnis Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!"

Once they are out, we get to see them through a screen.

"Thank you," Peeta says into the microphone, while Katnis is staring at something, I can imagine it's Rue's family. "We're honoured to be here with you today. And to be with the families of your fallen Tributes."

There's a long pause, Peeta glances at the cards in his hand and... put them down...

"He put down the cards." Effie gasps.

Haymitch tries to shush her, and she slightly snaps, "Why do I bother?"

I lock eyes with Cinna, who's standing next to me, we share a questioning look before looking back at the screen.

"Though they fought and lived with honour and dignity until the end... both Thresh and Rue were so young. But our lives aren't just measured in years. They're measured I the lives of the people we touch around us. For myself, for Katniss, we know that without Rue and without Thresh, we wouldn't be standing here today." He really is a natural. "So in recognition of that, knowing that it in no way can make up for your loss, we'd like to donate one month of our winnings to the families of the Tributes, every year, for the rest of out lives."

Oh, oh...

"Oh shit," Haymitch comments, and I bring a hand up to my open mouth shocked.

"Can he do that?" Cinna asks, though, I think he already knows the answer.

"He can't. But he did."

"Why doesn't he just stick to the cards?" Effie sighs.

Peeta than thanks the audience, looks at Katniss, and starts to walk back inside.

Katniss does just a few steps backwards, but she keeps staring at Rue's family.

Then, she gets closer to the microphone.

"Oh..."

"I just wanted to say I didn't know Thresh. I only spoke to him once. He could've killed me, but instead, he showed me mercy. That's a debt I'll never be able to repay." Then her eyes are back on Rue's family, " I did know Rue. She wasn't just my allay. She was my friend. I see her in the flowers that grow in the meadow by my house. I hear her in a Mockingjay song. I see her in my sister Prim. She was too young. Too gentle. And I couldn't save her. I'm sorry."

I feel my heart breaking at her words. She's right. She's too fucking right.

Before Katniss could add anything, there's a whistle coming from the crowd.

A very familiar one.

A man does the same salut Katnis did on the arena after Rue's death. Everyone in the crowd soon follows, and the Peacemakers are quick to weapon up and head towards the people, who can't do nothing but clamoring.

They're clearly pointing at the man who started it all.

As Katniss tries to get to him, to stop the Peacemakers, she is sized by two of them and forced back inside.

The man was dragged on the stage, the people are screaming, terrified. Before the doors can close we see one of the guards shoot and kill the man.

"Fuck!" I turn around, Cinna a gently rubs my back. I hear Katniss screaming and trashing around, I look back at them and see Haymitch gathering both Peeta and Katniss to follow him, he nods at mw to do the same and I do.

Once we are out of sight and ears Haymitch just snaps.

"You two have a very simple task." He scolds them, angry.

"I never meant for anyone to get killed," Katnis cries, "he has to know that."

"What are you talking about? Who has to know what?" Haymitch asks.

Snow...

"Snow. He came to see me. He's worried about rebellion in the districts. He thinks that they don't believe our love story," she explains, breathless.

I run my hand through my hair, frustrated.

"So he wants you to make them believe it? Does he thinks it will calm this shit down?" I ask and Katnis nods.

"You know, Katniss, you should told me that before I went put there, and tried to give these people the money." It's Peeta's turn to snap.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. He threatened to kill my family." She explains.

"Well, I have family, too" He replies, almost annoyed at her, "Okay? People that I need to protect."

"What about them? Who protect them?" Haymitch pressures.

I shake my head, still shocked and still infuriated.

"Katniss, what were you thinking?" Haymitch keeps going.

"I was thinking about Rue. Haymitch, please... please, just help me get through this trip. Please just help us get through this." Katniss begs, crying even more.

"This trip? Girl, wake up." He snaps his fingers to emphasise his words, "this trip doesn't end when you get back home. You never get off this train. You two are mentors now. That means that every year, they're gonna drag you out, and broadcast the details of your romance. Every year, your private life becomes theirs. From now on, your job is to be a distraction so people forget what the real problems are." He explains perfectly the 'life of a victor', it's so true it's nauseating.

"So what do we do?" Peeta asks, already composed him.

"You're gonna smile," I say, "stick to the cards Effie put effort into. And be the happy, forever in love couple the Capitol thinks you are... you'll get used to it." I say the last part with a heavy heart, knowing they don't deserve it. No one does.

Haymitch brings Katniss is for a hug, trying to reassure her, I squeeze Peeta's arm.

"We'll help you."

Peeta gives me a grateful smile, then they both take a deep breath and we all head back down.

"Eyes open, princess." Haymitch whispers to me, gently patting my back. I, again, look at him confused and just keep on following everyone back to the train.

And sticked to the cards they did.

----------

I feel like I can't breathe, I'm constricted, I can't move.

I look up and see the blue-haired guy on top of me, he's probably enjoying my terrified expression, because he smirks, he shushes me as if he's dealing with a child. He thinks he's being sweet and reassuring, while he's the complete opposite.

I try to push him away, in vain. It's like moving a wall... yet he's not that much bigger...

"Sshh, sweetie... it's okay, I'll take care of you." He says, caging me in even more.

I attempt to move back, but he's faster, he opens my legs with his in one quick motion.

----------

I wake up, shaking and panting. My heart is beating so fast I'm sure it's going to explode. I shake my head.

"Just a nightmare, just a nightmare," I keep repeating to myself like a mantra.

I get up from the bed and head to the bathroom where I wash my face to wake me up more. I look at my reflection and again I repeat that it was just a nightmare.

I get dressed, I figure there's no point in going back to sleep, I don't think I would be able too, so I exit my room and head to the restaurant car where I find Haymitch. Not so surprising.

He looks up as soon as he hears me, his expression almost asleep, but when his eyes meet mine, his expression turns into a worried one.

I sadly smile at him as I sit next to him, the car is still quiet dark except for the dim light coming from a small lamp next to him.

"Who was it this time?" He asks, he's trying to not make it look like it bothers him, but I know he's worried.

"The general's son," I say monotonously.

"Aah," he sighs, "the one with blue hair?"

"Yep."

"The loyal one." He nods to himself.

"The very one, the first too." I sigh, leaning back in the armchair. "The asshole thinks that just because we 'lost it' together means he owns me."

"Was that his first time too?" I know he wants to laugh at him, but he keeps it too himself, this time.

"Yap. His father thought it was 'right about time' so he talked to Snow, who, oh so kindly, accepted. Next thing I know I'm treated like a present. Everytime he achieved something big, his dad paid for my company, every birthday too." I sigh again, more deeply, bouncing my leg anxiously. "When he got a job, I was with him. Every month."

Haymitch takes a deep breath and hands me a bottle, which I gladly accept taking a big swig from it. He then takes my hand and squeezes it reassuringly, then lets go.

"He got daddy's job."

"Oh yeah. He couldn't do anything without daddy's power," I scoff out a laugh, Haymitch does too.

We, then, keep silent until it's time for everybody to come I'm and have breakfast and get ready for the final stop.

The Capitol.

[eufezco]

THREE LIES AT ONCE

FINNICK ODAIR X FEM!STYLIST!READER

this is based on a prompt from character.ai c:

SYNOPSIS -> You're his stylist and you discover bruises.

You liked it when Finnick visited the Capitol and Finnick hated doing it except for the fact that he knew you would be there.

You had already earned a reputation as a stylist in the Capitol when you two met. And it had been four years since Finnick won his games but President Snow had kept him close because nothing was more appealing than a charming boy in his twenties to the people of the Capitol.

You learned from the best. Cinna taught you everything he knew about fashion and then made you forget about it all so you could build your own style. It actually worked quite well because your designs were sold in the Capitol as if people needed them to live.

Your colors and characteristic shapes, your outrageous skirts, your long dresses, and your headdresses were worn by everyone, men and women fought over your designs and they spent all their savings on your clothes. President Snow was more than delighted with you, not only because his granddaughter deeply admired you but because you knew how to be liked, and he loved that about you.

That's why President Snow found the perfect match with Finnick and you and for once in his life, he did something right.

Finnick became your muse. From the moment you were introduced at the Capitol and you saw him walking towards you with those bright green eyes, his perfectly messy blonde hair, his tanned skin thanks to the way the sun in District 4, and his body that looked like it had been sculpted by the gods. You knew you never wanted to design anything else but for him.

―When did you arrive and how is it that you haven't come to see me earlier? ―You threw yourself into his arms, your fingers dug into his blond locks of hair. This was not the typical relationship that stylists used to have with their models but after working with him for a couple of years now, it was inevitable that some affection would grow between the two of you. Especially when, during his stays in the Capitol, you spent most of your time together. You were the only thing that kept him from going crazy.

He would sit and watch you while you sketched out his next outfit. You would share a drink and ask him questions about how his life was back in District 4. Finnick loved to talk about his home and you loved to imagine yourself there, in the places that Finnick described to you so precisely. The sea reaching your feet, the sun shining against your skin, the sound of seagulls flying across the bluest sky you had ever seen... And for some reason that you were still trying to figure out, every time you imagined yourself in one of those scenarios, he was by your side. District 4 seemed like a lovely place.

Finnick's arms wrapped around your waist while his face hid in the crook of your neck. He inhaled your familiar scent when you hugged, too sweet for the Capitol, not like the perfume people there used to keep up with their continuous call for attention.

―Yesterday but I was too tired from the trip.

That was the first lie that Finnick told you that night.

There was an expression of relief on your face with something like a small smile on your lips, grateful to see him again after such a long time and when everything in your life was chaos thanks to the preparation of the next games. Your eyes were closed, enjoying him holding you until you heard him say those words and then they opened in a combination of surprise and confusion.

―Don't think that being tired is an excuse for not coming to see me, Finnick Odair. That should always be the first thing you do as soon as you set foot here. ―You said, still thinking about why would he lie to you.

You moved apart from the hug and Finnick had a big smile on his lips that inevitably made you smile too. ―I'm sorry. ―He apologized.

―You better be. But now I need you to tell me if you like it.

You turned to grab your notebook and showed him the sketch you drew. Finnick took the notebook from your hands so he could take a better look and admire every detail.

―This is beautiful. You're an artist. I doubt there is anyone half as good as you in the whole Panem.

―Oh, there's Cinna. I haven't managed to dethrone him yet.

―Come on, you outdid Cinna a long time ago. He says so himself. The student surpassed the master, there's nothing wrong with that.

You shook your head and said nothing. Finnick rolled his eyes, he knew you didn't like hearing from him or anyone else that you were better than Cinna. Not even when Cinna himself tells you.

―Have you started sewing it yet? Can I see it?

―That's why I needed to see you. I haven't started yet because I need to measure you again. The last time you wore one of my garments it was too tight. I don't want to risk it not fitting you this time. ―You grabbed the measuring tape and pins from the table in your studio, full of fabrics and patterns for the new tributes. Cinna had given you his notebook with some beautiful sketches and had told you that he needed something similar but for the male tribute, a guy named Peeta Mellark from District 12, and you had been working day and night to meet Cinna's expectations. ―The robe is behind the dressing screen.

―Yes ma'am.

Finnick walked over without saying another word. You admired his figure as he walked away. Finnick's back was twice as wide as when you met him, his arms had grown stronger, now you could identify each of the muscles in them and his legs had also doubled in size, unfortunately, Finnick loved to wear long skirts, if it were up to you he would be showing them all the time. The features of his face had also changed, now they were more pronounced. Finnick's dimples were more visible and his jaw was so sharp you'd swear if you slid your finger along it you'd cut yourself.

―This looks great on you. I don't know why I try to design you something new every time. I should let you go around with that.

Finnick shook his head, failing in his attempt not to laugh at your stupid joke. ―You are not only the best designer but also the funniest one, huh?

You rolled your eyes. Finnick knew you didn't like it when he told you that and he did it on purpose to tease you. ―Come on, take it off.

Finnick stood before the mirror as you stood behind him. Once he slipped it off, you gasped and jumped back, horrified.

―Gosh, Finnick, what is this? ―You took a few steps backward at the sight of the bruises that trailed down his back. By their bright red color you would say were rather recent. You didn't know how to react, you were petrified staring at his back.

Finnick smiled, dismissing what you just saw with practiced charm. ―Ah, just a little souvenir. My lovers like to play rough. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.

That was the second lie Finnick told you that night.

Finnick's chest was heavy but he was trying to keep his cool. He had assumed that by the time the two of you saw each other the wounds would have healed, besides the fact that he didn't think he would have to undress in front of you.

―Your lovers? This absolute atrocity was done by one of your lovers?

―They were probably just a little too... enthusiastic. Besides, I don't have a problem with it, I like it. My skin heals fast so I'll be all good in no time.

And that was the third lie. His skin did not heal fast. You had always told him off for coming to dress rehearsals all bruised up from his training sessions and those bruises had lasted for days. These new ones were sure to stay on his skin for at least a month.

―How can some one like this?

Finnick could hear the disdain in your voice. You should be disgusted, horrified and definitely judging him, but don't worry, so was he.

―Honey, if you don't understand it's not my problem.

―No, you're right. I don't understand. I don't think you enjoyed that.

―Oh, you're gonna tell me what I can or cannot enjoy?

―Have you seen your back? Have you seen how bad this looks?

Finnick chuckled. ―I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this. Do you need all the details? Is the life of a stylist so boring?

―Finnick, listen to me. I don't want all the details I want the truth, and now it's the perfect time to start. ―You said. You grabbed him by his shoulders and turned him around to look at you. Finnick groaned as your hands were placed on his shoulders and when he stood face to face with you, he could see how upset you were.

―I don't know what you're talking about. ―He bit the inside of his cheeks, that was just what he had been told, not to tell anyone the truth about what had happened. He saw you roll your eyes and let all the air out of your body through your mouth, annoyed.

―I know that you didn't arrive yesterday. Cinna told me. Do you really think you can go unnoticed? Here? And I know for a fact that those bruises are not from one of your lovers, let alone that they were done to you a couple of days ago.

Finnick swallowed, looking at you with his head held high. He tried to keep the smile on his lips, pretending that everything was okay, that he did enjoy it when those bruises were inflicted on him, but his lower lip betrayed him and began to tremble. You bent down to pick up the robe and carefully threw it over his shoulders so he wouldn't feel so exposed. Finnick's head was bowed. You lifted it using your thumb and index finger on his chin very gently.

―I need you to tell me who did this to you. I can't help you if you don't tell me.

Finnick chuckled amid the sadness and shame he was feeling. ―Help me? You can't help me.

―I'm sure there's something I can do. I could―.

―They were Peacekeepers following Snow's orders.

Your jaw dropped and your heart rate accelerated. It was the first time that Finnick was admitting that to someone. It had been impossible to tell anyone, let alone a citizen of the Capitol like you. Finnick couldn't possibly admit that without compromising his carefully cultivated image. Besides, if he made himself out to be a victim, the Capitol would never allow someone they saw as weak to perform the role of the Golden Boy and all the people he cared about in District 4 would die. At that moment you realized that all the times he showed up at your studio claiming that his injuries were from training were not true and you felt sick to your stomach.

―How did it happen? ―You asked, swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat

―I tried to leave the Capitol. Before I could get on the train back to District 4 I was arrested by Peacekeepers and they took me to Snow's mansion. A lot of people came and when I refused to see them... I've been locked up there since then, that's why I couldn't come to see you earlier.

You shook your head, feeling awful. ―Don't worry about it, Finnick. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. ―Your stomach complained and begged your brain to stop imagining everything that Finnick would have been put through since then. The beatings, the strangers paying to sneak into his bed, the Peacekeepers bursting into his room and leaving him bleeding on the floor...

―Snow likes me. There has to be something I can do for you.

―You don't understand. It's not something that I can quit.

―I can spend all day designing and sewing to pay Snow the money he would make with you. I can talk to Cinna to raise the price of our designs. People here are rotten with money, they'll keep buying them anyway.

―It's not that simple. You can't just buy my freedom.

―Has anyone tried before?

Finnick thought about it and shook his head. ―Snow wouldn't allow that to happen. ―You ran your hand over your face in despair, not knowing what else to do to help him and feeling a responsibility to do something about it. You were the citizen of the Capitol, the one who had superior status and the favor of Snow, there must be something you could do.

―What if I buy you?

Finnick's eyes widened in surprise. ―Buy me?

You nodded and realized how bad that sounded. ―But not in like, a slave type of way. Gosh that sounded awful. I would just― Do it so you can live your life in your district. I wouldn't― keep you here, no. You'd just have to come to the Capitol a couple of times, make a few public appearances, and leave again.

―Why would you do that for me?

You bit the inside of your cheeks and nodded. ―You're my friend. I care about you.

You had managed to give him something he had long been missing. Hope. Maybe what you wanted to do would work or maybe not but at that moment Finnick felt that someone cared and that gave him hope that everything would work out.

Finnick took a step forward and placed his hands on your cheeks. He leaned in slightly and connected his lips with yours. Your hands ended up resting against his warm bare chest, closing your eyes and allowing him to kiss you. You knew it was the emotion of the moment, the adrenaline rush of knowing that maybe he could live his life in peace. You had given him hope and he was happy that someone had shed some light on his situation.

When you parted ways after the kiss, you both were smiling.

―Go and put your pants on, I'll treat your bruises.

―Do you know how?

―Well, not really, but I'm not short of needle and thread and I still have some alcohol from last night.

Finnick pressed his lips together and nodded. That would work. He walked to the dressing screen and you watched him as he walked away in the mirror's reflection. Before hiding behind the dressing screen, he said something that lit up a flame in your heart and made butterflies flutter in your stomach.

―I wish you would come with me to District 4.

my requests for the hunger games are open 📥

[phefics]

i love these hunger games boys reactions they’re so cute 😭😭

how do you think they would react to you having a nightmare about the games?

peeta is a very light sleeper and would notice you stirring in your sleep almost instantly. he’d wrap his arms around you and whisper in your ear: “it’s okay. you’re just dreaming. i’m right here.” when you wake up, sweaty and panicked, he soothes you with soft words and strokes your hair until your breathing is steady and your tears have stopped. then, he asks if you want to talk about it. either answer is fine, he’ll respect it.

gale isn’t able to understand fully, but he’ll be woken by your whimpers and ask if he can hold you. if you say yes, he’ll envelop you in his strong arms and rub your back until you’re calmer. if you need space, he’ll get out of the bed and kneel on the floor beside it, watching you with worried eyes, remind you that you’re safe, that he’ll protect you, that everything you did was to survive and that no one can hurt you now.

finnick has been having nightmares for so long, he fully understands your pain and will pull you to his chest. “what was it this time?” he’ll ask, voice rough from sleep. he’ll encourage you to talk about it, if you’re able. it helps him, and he’ll exchange stories with you until you both feel lighter, having the horrible things off your chest. he kisses your face, assures you that you’re safe, and tells you that you aren’t weak for the nightmares — he has them, all the victors have them.

coriolanus couldn’t possibly understand, but he tries to comfort you. “you survived,” he’ll say. “you’re alive and you’re safe and you did what needed to be done.” he kisses your forehead and offers to make you tea, and eventually will soothe you back to sleep with gentle touch.

sejanus also struggles to understand what you’ve been through, but he ends up ranting about how horrible the games are and how your trauma is valid. “you didn’t deserve that,” he says. “it’s an evil thing, what the capitol did to you. i wish i could take all that pain away for you.” and he’ll hug you tight, assuring you that you are not evil for what happened in that arena, that the blame is on the people who put you there.

[rose-pearls]

Right where you left me

Summary: Finnick and you had to marry back in the Capitol but as you fell in love with him, Finnick fell for Annie. District 13 breaks everything.

The room had been dragged into a loud silence after Coin’s words and you couldn’t help but look at her in surprise.

“As I said, the two of you can divorce. After all your wedding had been planned by Snow and the two of you were forced into it.”, she explains further and you feel panic grabbing you, scared of what is going to happen right now.

“I think that’s a good idea.”, you look at Finnick in surprise, but he looks at Coin with a determined gaze. 

“Well, then it’s decided.”, you want to tell her that you haven’t said anything about it, but the words aren’t able to leave your mouth. The gazes of the other victors are far too heavy as Coin continues with the meeting. You try to pay attention, but you aren’t able to, to busy thinking of how Finnick left your marriage like it was nothing. 

The meeting ends at some point, but you stay there, not knowing what to do just staring at the table where everything got decided. A hand on your shoulder makes you look up and you see Haymitch looking at you with pity in his eyes.

“They have asked you and Finnick to go to the courtroom to sign the divorce papers.”, you nod absently, the words not getting inside your head. 

The halls are all the same and it feels like your head is spinning, not understanding what is happening. Coin is in the room, Finnick and Plutarch with her and the papers in front of her.

“So, you just need to sign the documents and then you won’t be married any longer.”, she tells you simply, but you can only stare at them as Finnick takes a pen without any hesitation and signs them. The pen sits in front of you and after a slight nudge from Haymitch you take it with shaky hands and manage to sign it.

Coin says something but you don’t know what something is happening, frozen in place at what just happened. Finnick in front of you but you can’t even look at him, tears form in your eyes as she declares you divorce, and you leave the room not being able to stay there. 

The storage room is small, but you don’t care as you close the door and try to breathe again, tears streaming down your face. Your chest feels like it’s going to explode from the pain, and you try to breathe again and again but it doesn’t seem to work. A sob leaves your lips, and you try to keep yourself upwards but fall down on your knees. 

Deep down you knew this would come, Finnick had never loved you even when you fell for him. After your games Snow had decided to marry the two favorite four victors to each other and while you felt obliged you couldn’t really complain, Finnick was a good man.

You tried to make it work, tried to get him to talk to you and get closer to him but it never seemed to work. While you fell in love with him and his kindness, he fell more for Annie Cresta who always seemed to get his attention. 

The only time he touched you further then a fond smile or a quick hug was when he had drunk a bit and needed the reassurance that everything was going to be fine. And although you wanted to have him close to you, you only felt shame as he held you. 

Sometimes you tried to imagine what it would’ve been like if Annie hadn’t been there, if he could’ve fallen in love with you but deep down you knew it wouldn’t be the case. 

Something beeps in the room, and you take a look at your wrist, seeing that it’s time for dinner and then moving out of the family cubicle they had given you and Finnick. You tried pulling yourself together, but something felt missing, like some part of you was still there in that room. Shaking your head, you leave the storage room and join a group of people moving towards the dinner hall, not knowing what you were going to do.

“Pull yourself together.”, a voice tells you in the line and you look at Johanna, who looks at you with sad eyes, pity in them.

“I don’t need your comments. If you are here to tell me how shitty I am or look then leave.”, you tell her, anger in your voice that had never been there before, and she takes a small step back.

“Just wanted to tell you, everyone is looking at you and not in a good way. You look like shit!”, she says harshly, and you know that this is how she is. Filled with anger and every time you try to set her back in place she lashes out, maybe before you would’ve stopped but the hurt was just too much.

“Fuck you, Mason.”, you tell her through gritted teeth before letting your plate in line, ignoring the comments you receive and leaving the dinner hall. Anger filling your veins, you don’t know how to get rid of it, but you need to get rid of it. The training room is luckily empty as you take a couple of knifes and throw them at different targets. But it isn’t enough, and you keep doing it until you aren’t able to, your muscles aching. 

You crumble to the floor, holding your head between your hands and trying to make sense of everything. A cold band against your forehead makes you look at your hand, the wedding band still sitting there. You rip it off and throw it with all of your force somewhere you are able to, feeling tears in your eyes at the sight of it falling down.

The next weeks are the same, trying to figure out how to live without him and seeing him getting closer with Annie. Dinners are tense and everyone seems to want to leave you alone, like you are an animal that will lash out at any moment. Coin puts you in training and quick enough most of you are ready to head into battle and as you get ready for it you see Annie kissing Finnick before letting him leave.

The anger, hurt and jealousy bubble over and you try to keep yourself together, trying to keep that grace that the academy taught you. But deep down you know that you are getting closer and closer to a boiling point. 

District ten is a ruin and as the fight starts you try to put that anger and hurt into the fight, and it’s all going well until someone points a gun at Finnick, and you push the man down taking the gunshot but still able to kill the other with a knife in his throat. 

Finnick is on the floor, looking at you in shock but you don’t see it. A pain in your ribs, makes you realize that the gunshot got you. 

“Hey, hey!”, Gale yells and as you stutter back but you end up against his chest and he tries to talk to you, but you can’t listen to him. 

The words coming out of his mouth are far away and he takes you away from the battle, holding your body close. A strong hand pushes against the bullet wound and you groan, feeling breathless at the pain.

“That’s good, she’s feeling the pain.”, a voice yells as you are laid down, but you try to get up. A hand pushes you back and you see Haymitch looking at you seriously.

“Stay down sweetheart!”, you try to nod at his words, but your body feels hazy, like you don’t have any control over it anymore. Your eyes start to flutter close and for the first time in months you feel at peace, no anger or pain running through you.

Multiple voices say things, but you don’t hear them and after a moment the pain gets smaller, and you can’t help but smile as your eyes finally close and you don’t feel anything anymore. 

--

The beeping of machines wakes you up, your eyes fluttering open to see the familiar grey walls of district thirteen staring back at you. Your ribs are hurting like a bitch, and you try to move but it leaves you breathless, the machine beeping even harder. 

“Don’t move.”, a doctor scolds you and you fall back on the bed breathless, like you had run a marathon. The doctor looks over you and scribbles some things over his sheet.

“Welcome back.”, he tells you and you look at him confused.

“What happened? How long was I out?”, the doctor sighs while looking at you with hard eyes.

“You took a bullet and it got into your ribs, but it punctured a ligament making you lose a lot of blood. You have been out for five days.”, the words don’t really register but you nod at his words, five days. 

“There is also something that I need to tell you.”, the doctor tries to say, looking uncomfortable for a moment and you look at him impatiently, but a voice interrupts you.

“Thank god you finally waked up.”, Haymitch says, and Johanna is behind him, coming in the small cubicle they placed you in. Finnick and Gale arrive a minute later, and you look at all of them tiredly.

“I’m fine! I just need to get some pain medication and then I will be back to normal.”, you tell them through gritted teeth, trying to cope with the pain.

“You aren’t going into battle for a long time.”, you turn to look at the doctor with a glare, but it doesn’t seem to frighten him.

“What do you mean?”, Haymitch is the one that asks the question, and the doctor looks at you unsure.

“Well?”, you ask him, wanting to know what he wasn’t telling you.

“While they were taking out the bullet wounds, they did a scan to find out if you had any internal bleeding.”, he hesitates for a moment, but you nod quickly. 

“They found out that you are currently three months pregnant.”, it feels like he has just slapped you across the face. 

“By some miracle, the bullet didn’t make any damage around the child, only by your ribs and it punctured your lungs. But the baby is completely fine, still growing.”, you feel like you are going to faint at the words, Finnick seems panicked as he asks more information, but you just feel your hand tremble. 

“Hey!”, Johanna tries to get your attention, but the world turns black, and you fall back on the bed, letting the darkness take over.

--

The next time you wake up, Finnick is sitting by your side, looking at a picture of something. You try to move in the bed but aren’t really able to, Finnick looks at you surprised but you ignore him for a moment.

“What do you want?”, you manage to croak out and Finnick looks at you with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry.”, he whispers after a moment, and you scoff.

“For what? Making me feel like shit, going to Annie when you knew I had feelings for you or just throwing me away like I was just some trash. Or one better for getting me pregnant.”, you nearly yell and Finnick flinches back at your words.

“I know I-”, he tries to say but you stop him.

“You don’t know anything Finnick. You were everything to me and I tried everything to be there for you, to get you to love me. But I guess I just wasn’t enough, was I?”, the words hit him hard, you can see the pain in his eyes, but you don’t care. 

“Let me help you, with the baby and everything please.”, he whispers after a moment and you scoff, looking at him in disgust.

“Why don’t you go back to Annie and play happy family, like you were doing the last few weeks, hell years! If I do have this kid, it will know you because I can’t erase the fact that you are the father, but I won’t play the happy woman like nothing ever happened.”, Finnick nods, looking at the ground ashamed and you try to find any of the love you had felt for him before, but you couldn’t.

“Annie is also pregnant.”, the anger fills you up once again and you can’t help but laugh out of disbelief making him flinch.

“Just go, leave! It’s the least you can do after everything because I don’t think I can even look at you anymore.”, you tell him and Finnick nods, tears in his eyes at the harsh words before putting the picture on your bed.

“It’s the ultrasound picture of our kid. It’s a boy”, he whispers dejectedly, and you feel sick at the words, looking at the picture like you want it to burn.

The picture lays there as he leaves and you take it softly after a moment, looking at the blur of white and black. Tears come up at the sight of it and unconsciously a hand travels down on your stomach, a sob leaving your lips as you feel the roundness of it.

--

Some people come by, trying to talk with you but you ignore them, just eating your food for the kid but otherwise just lying in bed.

“Can I come in?”, you hear a voice ask and you turn around to see Peeta, you couldn’t help but be surprised at the sight of him.

“Sure.”, you tell him and the man shuffles in awkwardly, looking around the room.

“They left this morning to end it all.”, you can’t help but be surprised that he isn’t with them but then you remember what the Capitol did to him.

“Guess it’s just the two of us now.”, Peeta smiles at your words before looking at your bump.

“Well three of us.”, he says, and you can’t help but chuckle at his words.

“True, nearly forgot about it.”, you feel calmer with him there, not feeling the raw pain as much as before.

“How are you doing?”, you can’t help but ask him and Peeta sighs after a moment and looks at you with sad eyes.

“Doing better, I’m starting to see the differences between what the Capitol tried to tell me and what is real. Things with Katniss are weird, I think she is with Gale, but she seems to find it hard to tell me.”, he whispers the last part, and you can’t help but look at him in sympathy. 

“How do you feel about that?”, Peeta lets out a sigh at the words before looking around.

“I think I knew deep down that nothing real would ever happen between us but still, it hurts. I think I always had that hope, but it was stupid.”, you know how he feels, the pain of it and you take his hand to squeeze it in reassurance.

“Love really is something shitty, isn’t it?”, Peeta chuckles at your words and looks at you in sympathy.

“I’m sorry you had to go through all of that.”, he tells you and you nod at his words while looking at the bump.

“Well, can’t really do anything about it now, can we?”, Peeta shakes his head no and looks at the bump with a small smile. 

The two of you stay there in silence before you feel something kick against your stomach and you look down at it. Taking of the cover over it you look at the bump worriedly while Peeta seems to do the same thing as he sees you panic.

Another kick comes and this time you see a small foot pushing against your stomach.

“Holy shit.”, Peeta says, and you can’t help but agree, feeling a smile on your face for the first time in months.

“Want to feel it?”, Peeta looks unsure, but you smile at him in reassurance. He takes his hand and places it carefully on the bump, like he is scared to hurt it. After a few seconds a third kick comes right against his hand and Peeta laughs in disbelief at it.

“This is – I don’t even know how to describe it.”, he murmurs, and you laugh softly at his words looking at him with a smile, not even realizing that you haven’t felt any sadness in the past half hour that he has been there. 

--

“James! No running!”

“Yes mum.”, a small voice tells you right back, but you still send him a pointed look making him pout before going down the stairs calmly.

“I swear one day he is going to kill me.”, you mumble under your breath before taking your daughter into your arms and going down the stairs, the smell of breakfast taking over the house.

“Good morning.” You say as you enter the room and can’t help but smile as you see Peeta and James putting everything on the table. 

“Good morning you and mini you.”, Peeta says while kissing you softly, ignoring James’s disgusted noises. He quickly takes his little girl from your arms and starts talking to her and nodding at her babbling. 

“Don’t forget your backpack and everything for when your father comes.”, you tell James as he starts eating and he nods quickly, a bright smile appearing at the knowledge that his dad is coming.

“We are going on the boat today!”, he tells you excitedly and you listen to him ranting about the different fishes he wants to see while looking at Peeta feeding your little girl and listening to James tell his story.

The world isn’t perfect, and there is a long way to go but you have your children and Peeta so deep down you knew that everything would be fine.

[bruisedboys]

This celebration is ADORABLE! Finnick Odair with ❛ you’re welcome to stay, if you want. ❜

hi honey, thank you so much! join the celebration

finnick odair x fem!reader (r is implied to be a past victor)

You feel a bit silly standing at Finnick’s door in your pyjamas, your face damp with tears, bare feet sinking into the carpeted floor. The train hums beneath you, almost hypnotising. You’re a bad sleeper in general, but being on this train has resurfaced so many things you wish you could forget. You don’t know why you expected any better, but tonight’s been dreadful.

You’re not sure if Finnick will even answer the door. You want to try anyway because your heart won’t stop racing and he’s the only person you’d ever want to see at a time like this.

“Finnick?” You swallow around the thick lump in your throat and knock softly on his door. “It’s me.”

He’s at the door faster than you expected. Perhaps he was having as bad a night as you.

“Y/N?” Finnick blinks at you. His hair’s a mess, his shirt crumpled. “Hey. Sweetheart, what are you doing up?”

You blink away fresh tears that threaten to spill. “I’m— I can’t sleep,” you confess. Red hot embarrassment creeps up your neck like flames. “I’m really sorry I woke you.”

Finnick shakes his head. “No, no, don’t be,” he murmurs, a pinch between his brows. “It’s okay, honey, I get it. Did you want to come in?”

You nod silently. He encourages you in to sit on the end of his bed, letting the door shut behind you. You and Finnick, you have a strange relationship. You’re very close, he knows you inside out, has learnt all your secrets but one. You think you’re in love with him, and you really hope he feels the same, but you’re worried that sparkly hope is blinding you. Either way, he’ll do anything for you, which is why you’re here.

You sit on his bed, silent. Your chest feels tight, like someone’s gone and tied a knot with all your organs. Tears well in your eyes and you blink them away desperately.

Finnick moves to stand over you, tall and firm but buzzing with worry. He takes your face in his hands, achingly gentle.

“You wanna tell me what’s the matter?” He asks softly. He swipes at your lower lash line where fresh tears are starting to gather. “What’s made a pretty girl like you cry so much, hm?”

You’re so upset you miss his blatant flirting. You’ll remember it in the morning, though, and you won’t be able to look him in the eye for the rest of the day.

“I keep having these awful dreams,” you say, your voice a strained, weak thing. You take a deep breath, determined to get through telling Finnick what’s bothering you without crying. “I thought they’d gone away, but I guess being on this train, it’s all come flooding back. It’s horrible, Finnick. I don’t …”

Your voice breaks. Your face crumples. So much for not crying. The first of a fresh round of tears spill over Finnick’s hands. He makes a sad, pitying noise and wraps you up in a strong hug.

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” He encourages your head to his abdomen, seemingly not caring that your tears are quickly dampening his shirt. He rubs your back with a big, warm hand. “It’s okay.”

He lets you cry into his shirt for as long as you need. You know he knows there’s nothing much he can say. Not that he’s said already, anyway. You’re always gonna be haunted, always followed by the sharp bite of grief and guilt. Still, it’s nice to be understood. To be touched like he’s trying to hold all of the pieces of you together lest you crumble.

Finnick rubs your back diligently until the tears ebb and you’re breathing normally again. He pulls back and you miss his warmth. You wish he’d hold you forever. His hands feel grounding as he tilts your face up to look at him.

“You’re safe with me,” he tells you softly. “Yeah?”

You nod. Your head hurts. Your chest burns from crying so much and you’re bone-deep tired. Finnick must notice, because he strokes your cheek fondly.

“You’re tired, lovely girl?” It’s less of a question and more of a statement. His warm hand where it loves on your cheek is enough to send you to sleep. You feel very safe with him indeed. “You need sleep. You’re welcome to stay here, if you want. Would you like to?”

“If that’s okay,” you whisper hoarsely.

Finnick smiles, a soft pretty thing, enough to make your heavy heart soar. He chucks you under the chin fondly. “Of course it’s okay, sweetheart. I think we’ll both get a better sleep if you’re here with me.”

You’re too tired to ask what he means, but you can guess.