#Feeling very VALID this afternoon.

[jennifer-jeong]

Smut + Fluff | Kinich x AFAB!Reader New Experiences

SUMMARY Upon getting closer to your boyfriend, you unknowingly awaken something new in him.

CONTENT NSFW, 18+, fluff, smut, mentions of trauma, hugging, cuddling, kissing, blowjob, nipple play, vaginal sex, creampie, lowkey breeding kink, mentions of ABO dynamics, aftercare, he just loves you a lot and you love him too, ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

AUTHOUR NOTE GODDD I READ HIS CHARACTER STORIES AND IM JUST UGHHHHHH I needed to write this because he deserves a hug and a kiss

Kinich’s name comes from the Mayan sun god with the same name so I headcanon him as Mayan (in modern day, Maya peoples live in southern Mexico and the Northern parts of south America), so naturally the man is melaninated >:) ^(this is just context so when I say his skin is golden brown uk what I mean LOL)

Also pretend I didn't forget to include Ajaw. He's just chilling somewhere else in the house or smth drinking juice that you and Kinich made him LMAOOO.

WORD COUNT: 3,168

Your relationship with Kinich started off slow and with many innocent questions from him since it was his first relationship and you knew that he never had the best model of what a relationship could look like. In recent months you’ve taught him so much and he’s so grateful to have you. You never once insulted him or hurt him or threatened him, and he was almost scared because he knew nice things like this never came for free. Even if the trade didn’t include mora, he figured that he’d have to pay you back in some other way. But you never asked for anything, never asked for any sort of payment or any favors in return. You just asked that he love you back the same. So, because of this, he needed a lot of comforting from you to slowly get used to it. Overtime he slowly became more and more vulnerable with you because you showed him that you’d never hurt him, and slowly he became more and more comfortable being vulnerable with you. To be loved is to be changed supposedly. And the change in him was noticeable. Maybe not to the people that would commission him or your average stranger, but, towards you and the people he cared about, it was so clear. It was so clear that for the first time in a very, very long time, he felt loved.

And so it was a regular afternoon and he had just returned from a commission. He didn’t explain to you at first why this was bothering him so much but you’d later find out that he was out in the mountains where he grew up and it just brought up a lot of old memories.

You sat in front of him on your knees while he sat cross legged across from you on the bed. Warm yellow sun illuminated the room and bathed you both in kind warmth.

“Hold out your hand,” you said

Once upon a time, it would’ve taken a lot more convincing for him to listen to your request, but now, doing things like holding your hand felt like second nature to him

He held out a hand, palm up, and you held it with one of yours, rubbing his palm with your thumb before moving to hold his hand with both of yours. You looked at him with a smile, a smile that said “you’re okay and it’s okay to not be okay.”

“You’re safe, baby. But it’s valid to feel this way. Take as long as you need to process it okay?” You gently explained to him.

He nodded, squeezing your hands in his to tell you that he was listening, and that he understood.

And usually, you initiate hugging or hand holding, but this time he was the one to lean into you.

He leaned forward to rest his forehead on your shoulder. And you knew that he previously had a lot of reservations with hugging due to his past, so whenever you hug, you’re always sure to take extra care and be extra gentle with him.

Slowly, you wrapped your arms around his head, slightly brushing through his hair with your hands. His arms wrapped around your waist. But, with both of your legs in the way was a little bit uncomfortable. So you figured you’d try something that you hadn’t tried before. You told him to sit back before you slowly started to straddle him, making sure to ask if he was okay and if this was okay.

“Mmhm, I like it when you’re close to me,” he reassured you.

The comment made you smile and made your face heat up slightly.

So you continue to settle down before wrapping your arms around him again as he did the same, but now being chest to chest, the hug felt so much deeper, so much warmer.

And so you two stayed like that for a while, comforting him until he had forgotten what he was upset about. The smell of your hair, the softness of your skin, and the warmth of your body filling his mind instead.

You two spent the rest of the day preparing dinner, eating, cleaning up, and reading before drifting into sleep together.

But as you laid beside him in the moonlight, he couldn’t help but have his mind drift to when you were straddling him. Hovering right over his core, breasts smushed onto his chest.

Sure he knew what… being intimate was. He’d learned a lot from growing up in the mountains. He learned how to fight, hunt, and survive thanks to observing how the wildlife did it. But of course he also learned what and when mating season was.

Of course he never really experienced the phenomena himself and he’s so thankful humans don’t experience mating season the way animals do. But, right now, he thinks he might just understand what it’s about.

His body is hot and his legs are shaky. Blood pools in his core and he’s sure this is what it would feel like.

You were sleeping on your back, blanket covering everything below your stomach, leaving your clothed chest on beautiful display for him.

His breathing quickens slightly but he tries to control himself by closing his eyes and trying to sleep.

He tossed and turned for the better part of an hour before dozing off. His last conscious thoughts being:

“She can help me fix this.”

So here you two are, not 20 hours later, him deciding to make the first move since he knew it was usually how animals worked. He had been courting you all day, making you food and bringing you flowers. It was kind of adorable actually.

You two had kissed before, but it was never as heated as the one he was giving you right now. You were both getting ready for bed when he grabbed your face to kiss you deeply. He wasn’t super sure on how to move forward with this but he knew he needed you, only you.

Thankfully you helped him, you deepened the kiss and swiped your tongue on his bottom lip, asking for access to his mouth. He followed your lead and your tongues mingled as both your bodies heated up uncomfortably. Your hands tangled in his hair and his hands roamed your curves as you stood body to body.

He knew he was doing something right when he heard you lightly moan into his mouth. And he knew this was right because he felt the place between his legs grow uncomfortably tight in his pants. If your body was reacting, and so was his, it must’ve been right.

Soon enough he’s situated between your legs, hovering his body over yours as you continue to kiss, most of both of your clothing discarded on the floor.

You know that this is his first time and you also deduce where he even learned this from so you decide to tell him something he might not have learned just yet.

“You know,” you say, pulling away from the kiss. “We don’t just have to do this to make children,” you giggle as he blinks a few times, flustered at the thought.

“Humans do this a lot just for pleasure…” you trace his jaw with your thumb “for fun, y’know?” You smile, teasing him ever so slightly.

He huffs out a breathy chuckle out before his lips curl up slightly, intrigued by what you were saying… and also liking the sound of it.

“Want me to show you an example?” You smirk.

“Yes please,” he breathes out.

So you flip him over, licking your lips and smiling cheekily.

“As you wish,” you smile, eyes lidded.

You pull off his undergarments, leaving his body now fully exposed to you.

You eye his obvious hard on as he looks down too.

“It’s like that because of you… please help me take care of it…” his tone going from flat to needy as he ends his sentence.

Your eyes widen slightly at him being almost… whiny? It was cute but also made you even more hot and bothered seeing how badly he needed you.

You dip your head down, taking his member in your hand before saying gently, “I got you, baby.”

He sucks in a sharp breath as you tease him, licking all up and down on his shaft, avoiding the tip for now. You experiment with playing with his balls too, trying to gauge his reactions.

“Fuckkk, feels s’good,” he groans.

“Mmhm?” You respond as you run your lips all over his dick.

You decide to now circle your tongue on his tip, earning an involuntary buck of his hips and a loud moan from him. Even he was shocked at how vocal he was being.

You slowly closed your mouth around his leaking tip, easing him into your mouth with each bob of your head.

His eyes rolled back into his head as he tried to control his panting and groaning.

Once his dick hit the back of your throat, you started a slow pace, pulling most of him out of your mouth before sinking down again.

However, not a minute later, you feel him finish down your throat. His breathing hitched but since he was trying to hold back his moans, you got no other warning of his climax. You moan at the way he twitches in your mouth and continue to help him ride his high as you swallow all that he was giving you.

You suck him clean before sitting up to get a better look at him.

He has his eyes covered with the back of his forearm as he pants through his mouth, a layer of sweat coating his golden brown skin. His toned body getting you more and more angsty by the minute. Not to mention that him cumming fast made you inexplicably turned on.

Before you can ask him how he’s feeling he speaks up.

“How do I make you feel like that?” He removes his arm from his eyes to look at you.

Your face heats up hard. You aren’t quite sure how to explain it to him so you start with “oh, umm” before taking a few moments to think.

But you’ve now awoken something in him and he can’t wait any longer.

He sits up to kiss you, tasting himself on your lips before laying you down and putting himself back between your legs.

“Here?” He fidgets with your panties.

“Mmhm, you can take them off,” you nod bashfully

You’d been taking care of him this whole time that you barely even registered that this would be your first time too. So naturally you started feeling a little shy.

He sees how wet you are as he pulls off your panties, seeing how slick you made the fabric and how it’s coating your inner thighs now too.

It makes him hard again.

“A-and here…” you interrupt his thoughts as you point at your bra and take it off.

You cover yourself up a bit with your arms but he’s having none of it.

“Let me see,” he says, gently grabbing your tits after you move your arms.

He runs his thumbs over your hardened nipples before deducing that he should also use his mouth on you as you did to him.

He sucks on your left nipple lightly, not wanting to be too rough with you. He flicks at it with his tongue as he continues to knead your other breast.

Your chest clenches at the pleasure and you whimper, not wanting to be too loud.

As he’s leaned over you, his tip starts to rub over your core and you start to slightly grind on him, feeling him on your puffy clit.

“F-fuckk” you moan out to him, letting him know you needed this as bad as he did.

Wanting to make you feel good, he pulls back, inspecting the view between your legs, trying to figure out his next steps.

“Put it in,” you say bashfully, “please.”

He slides himself up and down your slick folds a few more times before trying to find your entrance.

When he finds it you immediately feel pressure. He slowly pops his tip in as you both moan at the sensation.

Your walls are so nicely tight and gummy for him and they squeeze him just right. As he slowly eases into you, facing almost no resistance from how wet you are, you start to really feel all of him. Every vein that rubs against your insides, the filthy drag of him against your walls, and every twitch of his dick, elicited by none other than yourself.

You’re already feeling dizzy at how intensely he’s stimulating all the nerves that have never had the chance to feel this good. You’ve never had something massage your g spot like this before, much less having been this turned on while doing it.

It was a whole other world of pleasure to be doing this with him. The heat of his body, the smell of his skin, the pulse of his heartbeat that you swore you could hear.

Kinich was no better off than you, despite having just finished not more than a minute ago, he was already getting close again.

He was giving you shallow thrusts, worried that he needed to give you time to adjust since you were so tight. He didn’t know it was just because he filled you up so well.

“B-baby, feels s’good,” you breathe out, him still grinding deeply into you, poking your cervix and making you feel so so full.

“Y-yeah? Fuck… good,” he stutters out with a shaky breath. He was glad that he had already figured out how to maybe make you feel as good as you were making him feel, especially because your pussy felt impossibly softer and hotter than your mouth.

“Try going- ah! Harder b-baby,” you moan out to him. Your body wanted more, it wanted it faster, harder, deeper. It was like you were in heat, and luckily, it was like he was in a rut.

Kinich responds to you by giving you a harsh thrust. Normally, he’d be so gentle with you, taking things slow, but right now he needed this. He was fucking into you now with fervor he’d never expected to find. He starts gripping your hips and thrusting into you to the point where audible “plaps” fill the room, turning both of you on impossibly more.

His hips continue to snap forward, filling you up to the brim and making your eyes roll back into your skull as you let out “ah’s” and whiny moans almost involuntarily because it felt so good.

You look back up at him to gauge how he’s feeling and you’re surprised to see his eyes clenched shut and his lip between his teeth, holding back his groans.

“Let me hear you,” you request, feeling embarrassed at it but also being so turned on you didn’t care.

His eyes blink open and he exhales the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He gives a few light moans as he bucks his hips into you, the wet sounds of your mixed arousals almost hypnotizing him.

After a pause, he then replies “then let me hear your pretty voice too,”, leaning forward to kiss you before burying his face into your neck. “I know you’ve been holding back too. Mmph- but no one’s gonna hear us baby.”

He moans loud right below your ear, raising goosebumps all over your body and causing you to moan right back into his ear.

You feel his dick twitch inside you as he feels your walls flutter around him.

Your back arches and you feel zaps of pleasure front your core to the tips of your hardened nipples. You start to clench harder on him as a pressure builds up in your core, approaching its release fast.

“Kinich-! Gonna- gonna cum” you babble out to him, so overly sensitive to the drag of his dick all over your insides. You could feel all of him and it was making you see white.

While he isn’t familiar with the term “cum” since he didn’t have time to ask and you didn’t have time to explain, he understands what it means. Especially because he thinks he’s about to do it too.

“Me- too… mmmph,” he croaks out as his abs clench.

“C-cum in me- hahh~ please…” you beg.

He hesitates but you cut off his thoughts with your next plea.

“F-fuck a baby into me- please…”

And the flip switches.

He buries all the way inside of you, cumming at the same time as you, your walls and his dick twitching around each other. You choke out a high pitched sob before moaning deeply as your orgasm crashes over you. He lets out a deep groan when he cums in you, breathing out his moans as his voice shakes as he fucks you both through your highs.

He continues to grind into you until you’re both slightly overstimulated and his cum starts to flow out of you despite him plugging you up.

“Archons…” You say, out of breath.

He pushes himself up, holding up his body with his elbows, his eyes meeting yours. He stares at you softly for a bit before kissing all over your face and neck, slowly and lovingly. He puts his forehead to yours before finally speaking.

“I love you,” he says, pulling back so you can properly look at each other. His skin flushed slightly red, hair disheveled, and his eyes the softest you’ve ever seen them. The eyes only you’d ever see.

Your eyes widen slightly before your expression changes into warm adoration with a sweet and genuine smile.

You reach a hand up to cup his face, “I love you too baby… so much,” you say as he leans down to kiss you, his heart swelling at the way you speak to him so gently. He kisses you softly in a way that tells you “I’m all yours.” So you kiss him in a way that says “and I’m yours.”

It wasn’t like you two hadn’t said “I love you” before, it’s just that it used to be quiet, almost shy, but this time it wasn’t. It was bold, it was certain, and it was confident. You were more than happy he was showing you this side of him that even he didn’t know existed. He’s just so soft for you, and it tugs at your heart to think about.

So after spending a few more minutes in each others arms, he helps you clean up and even asks you a few questions about how your body works and if it really did feel good or not. You answer all his questions with a smile and he kisses all over your body as he cleans it.

You then dozed off together, warm, safe, and absolutely head over heels for each other.

|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||

[hyunniesgirl]

Another Love | part 1

Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.

Words count: 8,539

Warnings for this part: lots of angst, drunk people, drunk Han is petty asf

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

A/N: So I made that pool asking if I should post this fic in chapters or a 20,000+ words chapter and the long ass chapter won but at the time my mind told me I would be able to finish the whole fic before posting it... Jokes on me I need validation and feedback for me to write so yeah let's do this in chapters, sorry

A/N2: I had this idea for quite some time now but got suddenly inspired listening to the song another love.

You're done. Really, you can't take it anymore. You've known Han Jisung since elementary school, you have been basically joined at the hip since then, your parents even became best friends because of you two.

You don't know exactly when you fell in love with him, was it on your second day at school when he invited you to play with him because he noticed you were all alone? Was it when someone made an awkward joke about your messed up hair cut in second grade and he picked a fight with them? Maybe it was the very first moment you laid eyes on him, joking around with everyone and being the most popular kid in the classroom. You really can't remember, but the thing you're sure of is: Han Jisung doesn't like you back.

You've always known that, but inside you there was a tiny bit of hope that one day he would wake up and suddenly love you back.

That didn't happen though. You are now 23 and he has never ever shown the smallest amount of romantic interest in you.

"That's fine", you thought to yourself, ever since you realized your feelings for him, "I'm going to stay with him his entire life, that doesn't sound so bad"

Until it started to sound really bad. What are you gonna do? See him getting a girlfriend, then getting engaged and eventually married? Would you always be there on the sidelines listening to his lovesick whines about the woman he loves so much? Would you be the godmother to his children? By then, would you have gotten over him already? Or would you keep this up forever, marrying someone just because you can't stay alone and being in love with your best friend for the rest of your life? That was the moment you knew you had to stop, you can't keep this up.

Coincidentally Han broke up with his last girlfriend a few months ago, you thought that would be a good opportunity for you to be his rebound, yeah, pretty dignified of you.

So you dress up really pretty, hair up, a dress that always made Han compliment you and to finish it off—the necklace he gave you on your 12th birthday.

You think this is it, this is the day you're going to tell him how much you love him and maybe, just maybe he will contemplate giving you a chance.

When he arrives at your shared apartment, with two cans of beer and fried chicken, you give him a cheerful greeting, setting the table and trying to gather courage to speak.

"So, how was practice?", you begin, maybe some small talk will help you relax.

"It was good, we are almost done with the album", he says, typing something on his phone. "How was your day?", he asks, putting the device on the table and looking at you.

"Good, I had class in the morning and tutoring in the afternoon", you take a sip of your beer, "one of the mothers actually recommended me to other parents and I'm gonna start tutoring more students next week"

He smiles, "that's good, you're really smart"

You blush, bringing the back of your hands to your face to try and lessen the hot skin of your cheeks with the cold of your hands.

"Actually, I want to talk to you", you start, it's now or never.

"Sure-", Jisung stops mid sentence when his phone buzzes. "Just a minute", he looks at the screen and smiles, your heart sinks at the sight. You know that smile too well, you have seen it dozens of times. You feel your insides turning over. It's the smile meant only for the person he likes.

"Hey, Lia. Yeah, totally, I can talk right now", he picks up the call and once again asks you for a minute lifting his index finger, he walks towards the balcony and closes the glass door after going through it.

He's laughing about something, is she even that funny or is he just trying to win her favor? She's pretty, you know it. All of his girlfriends looked like models. You sigh, looking at yourself and feeling awful, suddenly you don't feel pretty anymore, you actually feel ridiculous.

Why did you think things would change just because you got brave enough to speak up? Jisung sees you as a best friend and nothing more, you have to come to terms with that.

Your mind is rushing, thinking about what you're going to do now? Can you keep being friends with him? Yeah, of course, he's your best friend, you won't end your friendship because you can't control your feelings. But you'll need time, right? You won't be able to get over this unrequited love if you keep seeing him everyday, doing everything with him and sleeping in the same house.

"So, what do you want to talk about?", he asks, sitting again. You didn't even notice he had come back inside.

You sigh, you'll tell him about it all and then you'll find the strength in you to move on.

"I like you", you say so low you're not sure he heard you. But he did, he smiles and chuckles.

"I like you too, we're best friends for a reason", he stretches his arm to take a fried chicken.

"No, I like like you", you admit, hugging yourself, feeling cold suddenly, you look around and see Han left the door to the balcony open. "I've been in love with you since I can remember", you complete.

The look on his face would be funny if it wasn't tragic, his brows are furrowed in confusion and his eyes have a very familiar look: fear. Of course, he's afraid of losing his best friend, you already guessed that much.

"Y/N I-", you notice his breathing quickening. "I'm sorry, I never knew", he says, shoulders slumping, his arms dropping to the side of his body.

"Yeah, I know you didn't", you say. He's still staring at you with so much hurt in his eyes. Jisung knows he will have to turn you down and it's going to hurt him a lot, but not as much as it will hurt you and he never ever wanted to hurt you. 

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say", he takes a deep breath, "I never thought about you in that way, I'm really sorry, I don't feel the same"

You're not going to cry, you decided that the moment you saw fear in his eyes. It's not his fault you like him, he can't fall in love with you just because you love him. You're not going to cry and make him feel worse than you can tell he's already feeling. But listening to those words it's worse than you could have expected, you feel like the world is crumbling around you.

"I know you don't", you smile sadly.

He looks more confused now.

"Then, why did you tell me?"

"It's just… I'm done with all this", you reply, getting up from your chair.

"Done with our friendship?" Han can feel all the air leaving his body while he waits for your answer.

You chuckle, fidgeting with your foot.

"No, I don't think I could ever be done with that", you smile trying to reassure him and he feels so relieved. "I can't keep doing this, I can't continue seeing you with other people and stay hurting alone"

"I can stop bringing people to the apartment and I'll never talk about them around you", he says trying to help and your stomach sinks a lot more. Why does he have to be so sweet?

"Actually, I'll need some time", you clear your throat, "I think I'm going to stay with Seungmin for the time being, he is looking for a roommate"

Han's eyes widen and he gets up, walking towards you.

"What are you talking about? Are you going to move out?"

"It's not something definitive, I'm going to stay there until he finds a new roommate and come back after that", you take a step back, noticing how close he is to you. "Luckily by then I'll be over you, I think I just need some personal space for now, where you're not there everytime I look, or your things aren't mixed with mine or your scent isn't around every room"

"Will you still speak to me?", he asks, he wants to hug you, to hold you in his arms and say how sorry he is for not feeling the same. But he knows he can't, the best thing he can do is to keep his distance from you right now.

"I think we should keep it restricted to apartment things for now, I'll keep paying my half of the rent since my things will still be here"

"You don't have to pay if you're not here"

Ever since Jisung started making good money he insisted that you didn't have to pay for rent since you only work part time as a tutor to pay for your living expenses but you always refused. Even though he earns a lot more than you it wouldn't be fair for him to be the only one paying and honestly, you felt that if he was the only one paying for it, you would feel too much like you were a couple.

"No, I'll pay you. This arrangement doesn't change the fact that we still share the apartment"

He nods, looking down, the awkward silence making you sick.

"I'm really sorry I hurt you", he whispers and all the crying you avoided over this whole conversation threatens to come out at that exact moment.

"It's not your fault", you say, "I'm sorry I made things awkward, just give me some time and we'll be back to how things were, okay?", you give him a reassuring smile even though you're not sure things will ever go back to the way it was.

You wake up feeling like shit, you cried your eyes out the moment you stepped into Seungmin's apartment. He was so sweet to you, staying awake until you calmed down and even offered you his room for you to sleep but you refused. He was already doing you a favor by letting you stay on his couch until he found a roommate.

You sit, stretching yourself, you slept pretty comfortably but all the stress from last night left your muscles sore.

"Are you feeling better?", you hear Seungmin's voice and look at the kitchen, he's making coffee. That reminds you of all the days you woke Han up with a nice and hot coffee so he wouldn't be in a bad mood waking up so early.

"I don't think so", you answer, shaking your head like that would make your thoughts disappear. "Can you get me some of that?", you ask and he smiles.

"Already on it", you start tidying up the blanket and the pillow you used.

"What are you going to do today?", Seungmin asks while you sit at the table.

"I have some tutoring to do and class in the afternoon, maybe I'll go shopping with Hannah later"

"That's good, try to keep yourself entertained at least for the next couple of days", he hands you the mug and you nod.

All your friends knew about your crush on Han and you made all of them swear they wouldn't tell him. You were afraid things would be awkward now, since Han was their friend before you met them, but they all showed you support now that you had confessed.

Hannah had offered you to stay with her, but she has a roommate that's really strict about everything in their apartment and you don't want to cause trouble to your friend by staying there. Luckily Seungmin's last roommate had moved a couple of weeks ago and he was looking for someone new, but by the way he's picky that's not going to happen so soon.

"Since I'll be staying here and you won't accept money because I won't be using a room, the groceries will be on me and I won't accept no for an answer", you say finishing your coffee and getting up. Seungmin sighs, rolling his eyes.

"I know you're going to buy it anyway, so I'll accept it"

"Then send me a list of whatever you need and I'll buy it tonight or tomorrow", you blow him a kiss, picking your bag from the floor and heading to the bathroom.

You take a long, hot, refreshing shower and pick some comfortable clothes to go to your tutoring session.

Seungmin's already gone when you go back to the kitchen, there's a message from him on your phone.

Minnie: I left some sliced fruit in the fridge for you, eat before going out.

Minnie: I'll send you the list later btw

You smile, having someone taking care of you is nice. For a second, it makes you forget the reason why you're there to begin with.

You feel like crying again, but you can't show up to your students house with red eyes and a puffy face.

The parents that are near each other usually ask you to teach their children together in longer sessions. That strengthens the bond the kids have while strengthening the connection between the families. That usually happens when the families are wealthy, they see an opportunity in their children's friendship to get on each other's good side.

Your parents started hanging out with Jisung's parents too, not because of connections but because you two were always in each other's houses. Once, you broke your arm falling from a tree you tried to climb following Han, his mother had to call yours and calm her down on the phone the entire time your mother was driving to the hospital to meet you. That day you got scolded by both and after they finished the lecture they looked at each other and smiled, bonding over the fear of something happening to their precious child.

When they went out to buy some coffee and talk, Jisung sat by the side of your hospital bed, lips pouting and tearing up.

"I'm sorry I dared you to follow me all the way up there", he says, taking the hand of your good arm and holding it.

"It's okay, now at least I have an exciting story to tell the others", you say and he smiles, whipping his eyes.

The noise of the gate opening wakes you up from your daydream, you have to stop thinking about Han if you want to get over him.

The kids come running in your direction the moment the housekeeper opens the door.

"Miss Y/N, look I got a 9.5 on my test", the girl smiles brightly showing you the paper with the grade marked in red.

"Woah, Misu, you're so smart, I don't think you even need me anymore", you bend to her height and she pouts, sometimes she acts like a little child when she's already 12.

"Of course I need you, you're the prettiest and smartest person I know", she says and you hear someone clear their throats by the stairs. It's Misu's mother.

"If I didn't agree with her I'd be hurt", she says and you smile.

"Good morning, Mrs. Kim, I only helped a little, Misu's really smart", you say and the girl shows you her white teeth, looking at her mother and waiting for some praise.

"Of course she is", she pats the girl's head. "Eun, aren't you going to say hi to Y/N?"

The boy is a few months younger than Misu but a lot more shy. You saw him coming with her when you arrived but got so engrossed in your conversation that forgot he was there in silence.

"Hello, miss Y/N", he says, polite as ever.

"Hi, Eun, did you get a good grade like Misu?"

He nods, showing you his test with 9.8 marked in red.

"He's smarter than me", Misu pouts.

"Congratulations, Eun", you say, patting his head, making him blush and you smile. "I think you are both really smart and I'm here to help you get even smarter"

Mrs. Kim tells you to go ahead and start the lesson and invites you to stay for lunch. You were pretty lucky with the parents you met till now, all of them were nice to you and cared a great deal about their children so it's a lighthearted job to do.

The kids are indeed smart, usually you don't have to explain the same thing more than twice and they always ask a lot of questions during your time with them.

A week goes by since you last saw Jisung, fortunately he didn't try contacting you. You're sure that if he did you'd break hearing his voice and would beg for him to like you back, giving up on any pride you still have left.

You arrive at school an hour before your classes begin, you're meeting Hannah at the cafe nearby so you can talk a bit.

You look at your phone, there's a message from her saying she's on the bus but the traffic is awful so she might be a little bit late.

You choose a table by the window, contemplating if you should order already or wait till Hannah arrives.

Looking outside, you remember the moment you heard the news that you got into this university. Yours and Jisung's family were at your parents house, you both were seated on the couch when you received the message saying the college entrance results came out. You couldn't type your information, you were trembling so much Han had to do it for you.

When you read your name and the word "accepted" you actually screamed, making your mother drop the plate she had in hands. Your father and Han's came running to see what happened when Jisung showed them the screen.

Your mother and father embraced you, telling how proud they were of you and Jisung's parents did the same, like you were their own daughter.

Jisung wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up, spinning you and making you burst out laughing. That moment was so good, you wanted to stay there forever.

"Earth to Y/N", you hear Hanna's voice and snap out of your thoughts, sighing. "Is everything okay?", she asks, worried.

"Yeah, I'm good", you say and she narrows her eyes, knowing you are not telling the truth.

Hannah left it at that though, you are going through a hard time and she doesn't want to push it.

Honestly, she don't expect you to be fine. Your lifelong crush had rejected you and to make things worse he is your best friend, so yeah, of course you are not okay.

"Then, I'm going to order", she drops her bag in the seat in front of you, "your usual?"

You nod, seeing her walk to the cashier. You met Hannah three years ago, when you started college. She's the total opposite of you, really outgoing and a total social butterfly, it seems those are the people you attract seeing how Han is the same.

She sat by your side on the first day, making a random joke and making you laugh, that's how she became your best friend. You didn't even have to tell her about your one sided love, she had to see only one interaction between you and Jisung to know exactly what was going on.

She is the one that urged you to tell him about your feelings and was very adamant about you moving on from him, she couldn't let you waste all your 20's being in love with someone that didn't like you back… or not the way you wanted to.

"So, I heard about a party", Hannah says, putting the pager on the table and sitting in front of you.

"There's like a hundred of those, you have to be more specific", you joke and she rolls her eyes.

"You know that guy from English literature? The one that dyed his hair pink last semester?"

"Yeah, it's kinda hard to forget about him", you laugh.

When Yunho came to school with pink hair a rumor of him becoming an idol started going around, everyone tried to be nice to him and all that shit but it turned out he just lost a bet.

"He's hosting this party in like a really big fancy place to celebrate his graduation", she finishes.

"That's nice", you say, fidgeting with your fingers under the table.

"Hmmm, are we going to go or what?", she asks and you glance at her.

"Were we invited?"

"Ahm, you're hot and I'm hot, why wouldn't we be invited?"

You laugh, knowing what she's doing. Hannah is more sensible than you give her credit for, you really thought she would ask about everything that happened on that night, but instead she has been trying to distract you for the past week and that is really nice of her.

She smiles, seeing you smile. Hannah knows you never give enough credit to yourself, you never think you're pretty enough, funny enough, cool enough or smart enough even though you're those things and much more. She approached you on your first day because there's just something about you, something bright and cheerful. When people are upset, mad or sad you always do your best to make them feel better, so Hannah felt this was her time to cheer you up.

The pager buzzes on the table and she gets up, going to the counter to get your orders.

You look at her coming back with a big grin in her lips, handing you the coffee with a note glued to the cup sleeve.

"To the girl with the yellow cardigan, I see you coming here often and I think you're cute, maybe we can hangout sometime? If you're up to it, text me: xxx xxxx-xxxx"

You blush, looking at the counter and seeing the cutest guy looking at you with flushed cheeks. He's so red you can see it from where you're seated. He smiles waving at you and you wave back.

Hannah has one eyebrow lifted looking at your interaction and you feel your cheeks even hotter.

"So, are you going to text him?", she asks, reading the note and you sigh.

"I don't think so", you say, sipping at your coffee.

"Why not?"

"I don't think it would be fair to someone if I start something with them when I'm still in love with someone else", you answer and Hannah sighs.

"Yeah, you have a point", she pouts, "but like, maybe messing around a little won't hurt? I mean, he's not in love with you or anything, you can talk with each other and see where things go"

Hannah's right and you know it. Even though it's still too soon, you should try meeting new people, you're not going to get over Han just by staying away from him.

This feelings, you have it with you for so long, it's hard to let it go. Loving Han is the only romantic feeling you have ever known, it's scary to walk off of this thing you know so well  to something completely new.

You have to, though. It's the only way for your friendship to keep existing. So you nod to Hannah, taking your phone out of your pocket and dialing the number written on the cup, seconds later you're typing a message.

You: Hey, it's the girl in the yellow cardigan, my name is Y/N btw

You send and hear a ping, you thought he would have his phone on silent mode and sudden embarrassment creeps up when you see him taking his phone out of the pocket of his apron.

Cute guy: Hey, I was afraid of making you uncomfortable, so let me apologize first. I just didn't know how to approach you

Cute guy: Ah, and I'm Heeseung

You change the name in his contact before replying.

You: it didn't make me uncomfortable and thank you for calling me cute.

Heeseung: you don't have to thank me for telling the truth.

You giggle, it's interesting to feel like this, even though you can tell it's something temporary.

You: lol, you're really smooth.

"Let's go?", Hannah says, smirking at you and you blush. You nod, picking your things up and getting up from the table, you wave goodbye to Heeseung before going out and he smiles brightly at you.

>><<

The morning after you went away, Han woke up feeling awful, all the things that happened the previous night coming back at him at the same time. He was sure the moment you walked out of the door, giving him your best smile and trying not to cry was the saddest he ever felt in his entire life. You were his best friend, you were everything to him, he felt like shit because he never noticed your feelings. He doesn't know what he would have done if he knew, but maybe he could have been better, talking less about his relationships and especially not bringing his hook ups to the apartment.

He got up, feeling like crying everytime he had to pass by your bedroom door, knowing you were not there and wouldn't be for far too long, all because of him. The bell rings and he runs to the door, hoping it's you, hoping you'll tell him everything was a joke and that you didn't actually like him. Even though he knows you wouldn't press the doorbell since you know the password and he knows the hurt in your eyes when he said he didn't feel the same as you was no joke.

So it was no surprise when he opened the door and found Chan and Changbin there. They did tell him they were going to stop by in the morning to pick him up but with all the things that happened he just forgot about it.

"Are you okay? You look like shit", Changbin says entering the house.

Chan looks at Han, worried.

"Are you sick?", he asks, "where's Y/N?" He knows you wouldn't leave Han alone if he were sick, but you would have shown up already by hearing Changbin's loud voice.

"She's gone", Han says, running his hands through his hair.

"What do you mean?", Chan asks with wide eyes.

"She- she confessed to me and I turned her down", he says, maybe he should have told you he could like you back, that way he wouldn't be feeling this way and you'd still be there with him.

"Shit", Changbin says, his lips pressed in a thin line.

Han looks at the both of them, why don't they look surprised?

"You guys knew about it?" He asks, a little louder than his usual voice and the boys exchange a look. "Woah, thanks for the heads up"

He shouldn't be mad at them, it's not their fault, but he's already too mad at himself so he doesn't know where else to put the blame.

"It was not our place to tell you", Chan says.

"Does everyone know?", Han asks and Changbin nods, "so I was the only one? Am I dumb or something?"

Chan sighs, "it's not really your fault for not knowing, you probably are used to the way Y/N looks and talks to you because you're best friends since you were children, but to the people outside it is pretty clear from the get go that she likes you"

"But where did she go? Are you not friends anymore?", Changbin asks the difficult questions and Chan glares at him.

"She said she will be staying with Seungmin till he finds a roommate and then she's going to come back"

"She probably just needs some time", Chan says, putting a hand on Han's shoulder trying to reassure him, and he really hopes that's the case.

>><<

You've been texting Heeseung for a few days now and he's pretty nice, he's a dance major and works part time at the cafe to pay for living expenses the same as you do with tutoring.

Hannah had convinced you to go to Yunho's party and get wasted, saying you need the college life experience the most now that you had your first heartbreak but you don't want to think about that, you want to forget that you ever loved Han Jisung.

So you drink a whole bottle of wine before leaving for the party, Seungmin's coming with you and Hannah will meet you there. You are looking good, or maybe it's the alcohol that makes you feel good, your hair is down, you're wearing a black lace cropped top you borrowed from Hannah, with a much lower neckline than you are used to, high waisted jeans and black boots.

The party is already crowded when you and Seungmin get there and it's really a fancy place like Hannah told you.

"Let's grab a drink", you yell to Seungmin.

"You should drink water, you're already drunk", he demands and you show your tongue to him.

"Nooooo, don't be a killjoy"

He sighs, it's hard to convince you of something when you're sober, it's even harder when you're drunk.

"You can have a drink after you drink a cup of water", he tells you and you nod, sounds like a win win for you.

After drinking a whole cup of water you show it to him, waiting for a praise and Seungmin rolls his eyes. What are you, a 10 year old?

"Good job, now you can drink", he gives you a cup with something mixed in it, "but you have to drink some water for each drink you take, okay?"

"Okay, dad", you joke, sipping your drink.

Seungmin knows a lot of people at the party and you feel left out every time someone approaches him so you're really happy when Hannah shows up, with a much taller boy accompanying her.

"Look who I found", she says pointing at him.

"Heeseung?", you scream, startling Seungmin who's close to you.

"Jesus, Y/N, calm down", he says putting his hand over his ear, "I'm a singer, I can't lose my hearing", he says and you pout, whining an apology even though you know he's not really mad.

"I didn't know you were gonna be here", Heeseung gets closer to you, side eyeing Seungmin.

"I didn't want to come, Hannah made me", you tell him, "this is Seungmin, he's my friend"

He nods at the boy by your side, relaxing to hear you call Seungmin a friend.

"Hey, Minnie, let's go dance?", Hannah says and Seungmin narrows his eyes suspiciously.

"I don't dance", he answers, crossing his arms and she sighs.

"For fucking sake, just come with me", she says and Seungmin follows her without more questions, he knows too well not to mess with her when she gets angry.

"You look really pretty", Heeseung says, bending a little to lessen the difference in your height. You blush even though it's not as good hearing him saying that as it was when Han complimented you, but you're trying to get over that, aren't you?

"Thanks, you look hot too", you hiccup, you don't have a filter when you're drunk. He smiles, turning around on the table and pouring you a cup of water.

"Drink this, it's going to help", he hands it to you.

"Thank you, you're so sweet and handsome", you yell again but he doesn't flinch like Seungmin did.

"You can't keep saying these kinds of things and not want me to kiss you", he says and you smile, sly.

"Who says I don't want that?", the moment he comprehends what you just said his face reddens, and he thought he was being bold.

"Once you sober up we can talk about that", he tells you and you pout. You wanted to kiss him now, maybe if you did all the hurt you were feeling would go away. Maybe you just needed someone to make you forget about Jisung.

"But I want it now", you cross your arms, behaving like a child that didn't get their way.

"Do you like dancing?", he changes the subject. Your face brightens with his question.

"I LOVE dancing", you show him the choreography to queencard that's playing on the dance floor and he laughs at your messy steps, he's sure you're much better at it while sober.

"Then drink this and let's dance", he hands you another cup of water.

"Seungmin told me I could have a drink after a cup of water, but this makes two cups of water and no drink", you point out and Heeseung can't help but find the drunk you really cute.

"This water will help you so you won't have a bad hangover tomorrow", he says and you nod, that's a good point.

Super by seventeen starts playing and you finish downing the water, grabbing Heeseung's hand and dragging him to the dance floor.

Being a dance major, of course he knows the steps and he's so good there are moments you just stop and watch him in a daze. Actually, he knows the steps to every song playing after that too, you dance so much you're all sweaty and your legs are tired. You're totally sober now, feeling ecstatic. It's so good being at a party having so much fun.

You're jumping and smiling until you see him.

You stop in your tracks seeing Han Jisung staring at you from the other side of the dance floor, your smile fades away as soon as your eyes lock with his.

He looks sick, he lost a lot of weight considering the short period of time you haven't seen each other and he wasn't smiling like he always did. He takes a step in your direction and you automatically step away, your stomach sinking.

You're feeling your heart beat so fast it's overlapping with the loud music, you gulp feeling your legs weaken, why the hell are you having this reaction? He's the same Han Jisung you've known since you were a child, the only difference now is that he knows how you feel about him.

You can't avoid him until you get over your feelings, that won't work and you know it, you have to get used to being near him feeling nothing other than friendship, but you can't see him at that moment, you just can't. You're having fun, there's a handsome guy with you and you want to like him and not Jisung.

You grab Heeseung's hand and pull him away from the dance floor, walking outside so you can breathe some fresh air.

"Did something happen?", he asks, looking confused and worried.

"It just felt stiff in there for a moment", you say and he nods.

You didn't want to explain to him why you were not speaking to your best friend and how messed up your relationship with Han is right now. You want to forget about it and your way of doing it is right by your side, handsome and available.

"So, about that thing you said we could do once I sobered up… I'm sober now", you say and he blushes, analyzing you for a moment to see if you are telling the truth.

The last drink you took was more than an hour ago and you drank so much water after that, it's a miracle you still don't have to use the toilet.

"I don't want to do something you'll regret later", he says and you appreciate how considerate he is. But right now you don't want someone considerate, you want someone that'll sweep you off your feet and help you forget what you so desperately want to. So you get closer, caging him against the wall and tiptoeing, trying to get closer to his face.

"If you don't want to, it's okay. But if you're holding back because you think I'm drunk, I'm not", that was his cue to kiss you. His lips crashing sloppily onto yours, hands cupping your face then moving down to your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck trying to get closer than you already are. He's good, you've kissed enough people in your life to know that, yet you feel sick.

You feel bad and like a horrible person because you just know he can't compare to Jisung even though you never kissed your best friend.

You feel bad thinking about someone else while kissing Heeseung, he's so nice and sweet and you know he's not fooling around, if you give him the chance he's going to truly like you and you're only using him.

You step away sighing, seeing his brows furrowed and the confusion in his eyes.

"Was it that bad?", he jokes but you can see he's feeling hurt. "I'm not trying to brag, but I never got a reaction like that after a kiss"

You smile apologetically, looking for words to explain yourself.

"It was great and you're great", you begin, "I think you're too sweet, that's why I can't lead you on"

"What are you talking about?" he asks, even more confused.

"I'm in love with someone else and I know it sounds awful, I did try to get over him with you but I feel like you'll really like me if we don't stop right now and I'm not sure if I'll be able to be that person for you", you look at him, seeing the disappointment in his face. "I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person and you can hate me if you want"

He stares at you for a few moments, sighing and giving you a reassuring smile after.

"I don't think you're terrible, I think you're truly brave for coming clean like that", you're relieved, you were afraid he would say something mean and even though you feel like you deserve it, you're really fragile right now. "Thank you for telling me before I got too deep into this and I don't know, maybe we can be friends?"

"Absolutely, I would love that"

"So, do you want to go back inside?", he asks and you shake your head.

"I don't think so, I should probably go home", you say, you don't want to go back there to see Han again.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"It's okay, I'm going to text Seungmin and see where he's at but you can go inside, I'm going to stay here and get some more fresh air"

"Alright, I'll see you at the cafe"

You nod, seeing him walk away. Woah, you just let that masterpiece of a man go because you can't forget about a fucking unrequited love. You curse yourself, slapping your forehead.

After that, you text Seungmin telling where you are and asking where the hell he and Hannah went, sending the same message to her and waiting for their answer.

You sit on the grass, taking a deep breath. You feel a bit sick after seeing Jisung, you never thought you'd feel that way. Never in your worst nightmares did you think you would be afraid to talk to him, maybe you're scared of talking to him and feeling nothing, what if all of this was just in your head and you just needed some time apart to figure it out?

You hear steps close to you and pray it's not some horny couple trying to fuck near you, however, the moment you lay eyes on your best friend you actually wish it was a horny couple.

You get up in a jump, your stomach sinking and your head spinning. Why does it hurt so much suddenly? It feels like your chest is being torn apart and you can't do a thing to make it better.

Jisung looks worse up close, he has huge bags under his eyes and he's too pale.

You're worried about him, even though you can't have the luxury of that. Not when your insides are all messed up and you want to throw up. You walk past him without saying a word, you can't handle this right now, but he grabs your wrist holding you in place. You don't look at him, staring at the floor trying to get out of his grip.

"I miss you", he says and your heart drops to your stomach. Why is he doing this to you? It's not like being apart from your best friend is fun to you. "Can't you look at me?", he pleads but you can't find the courage to do that yet. "Please", but he sounds so desperate, you force yourself to do it.

You look at him, he's obviously drunk. Who the hell let him drink this much?

"What is it?", you sound more spiteful than you were planning and his eyes widen, releasing your arm from his grasp.

"Do you hate me now?", he asks and you sigh.

"Of course I don't hate you, you're my best friend", you say that but for some reason it doesn't feel right, it doesn't sound like the truth.

"Can't you come back home? I feel like shit everytime I wake up and you're not there"

"I told you I need time", you say, running your hands through your hair.

"Are you going to forget about me by fucking some random dude?", he asks and you glare at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I don't understand how that's any of your business"

"It is, because you told me you love me but you act like you never want to see my face again", he scoffs.

You feel mad, what's he trying to say? Should you keep hurting just because you love him?

"I can't sit around forever, waiting for you to look at me", you say and he steps closer to you.

"I'm looking at you right now, I- I'll be good to you, I'll like you back", the moment he finishes saying that, you can't control the tears running through your eyes.

Is that supposed to be good? He would be forced to date you so he could have you close to him?

"Why are you doing this to me?" You ask and he takes a step back startled with you tears, suddenly sobering up, "it's not easy for me to be away from you, you're my best friend, but I do have some bit of dignity left in me and I won't accept less than I deserve, even if that less is the man I love with me", you wipe your tears seeing him step closer, trying to reach your hand and you step away, "don't come close to me right now, I could never stay with you knowing you don't love me, you should know that"

You turn around trying to get away from him but stop on your tracks seeing Hannah, Seungmin, Chan and Changbin right there looking at you awkwardly. Of course, the humiliation is the cherry on the top. You pass through them feeling so embarrassed you want the earth to swallow you.

The ride home is awkward and silent. Hannah and Seungmin keep exchanging looks while you look out the window trying to figure how your life became this mess.

You really should have dated Jeongho when he asked you out in middle school, it was around that time that you realized you liked Han more than just a friend—when Haneul asked to be his date to the school festival and you wanted to punch her so hard. Maybe if you had dated that boy at that time you would have forgotten the feelings you had for your friend, maybe you would have brushed it off as some childhood crush, but no, you rejected Jeongho while Han went with Haneul to the school festival and you third wheeled the whole event earning nasty glances from her every time your best friend played two times the same game so he could win you a plush too.

Back then you still thought everything would be okay, if only you had him everything would be okay.

You start bawling without notice, crying so much you can't even breathe. Seungmin stops the car and Hannah gets to the back, hugging you and caressing your hair while whispering that everything will be fine and you really want to believe her.

You don't know how you got into Seungmin's apartment, you guess he carried you inside after dropping Hannah home but you're not sure. It's sunday so he's not up yet for you to ask and it doesn't actually matter, what matters is the absolutely pathetic scene you made at the party and in the car. You want to bury yourself into a hole and never come back, how the hell are you going to face your friends after they saw you being humiliated by Han like that?

You know he was drunk, of course he was. You know he didn't mean it, he was hurt and drunk and people act on feelings not reason when they are like that. But does he think you have no pride? Does he really think you would date him knowing he doesn't like you back?

It's different when you confessed to him, you knew he didn't like you that way. But if he told you that there was something there, that he was not going to promise you anything but someday he may like you back, that's all you needed to hear. However, that didn't happen. He told you with all the words that he doesn't like that way, that he doesn't feel the same way as you do, there was no room for interpretation, no room for what if's.

You get up, in need to distract yourself. This week is going to fly by, you have tutoring lessons using up all your free time so you just have to get through the day.

There are a lot of messages on your phone, you really don't want to read them because you know that other than Hannah's, it's awkward comforting words from your other friends.

Hannah: call me when you wake up

Hannah: let's go eat something delicious, what do you think? It's on me.

Hannah: are you still not up or are you ignoring me?

You: I just woke up, calm down girl

You: why would I ignore you though? I just have to brush my teeth and eat something then I'll call you.

Binnie: morning babes

Binnie: Hannie is such an asshole

Binnie: I'll date you if you want, you're hot it's a win win for me

You chuckle to Changbin texts, he's so sweet in the weirdest way.

You: I mean, you're hot too

You: I think we'd make an awesome couple

Chan: good morning, Y/N

Chan: we didn't hear anything last night, so please, don't be awkward or embarrassed around us.

You: good morning Channie, I know you heard

You: you should have matched your story with Changbin before texting me though

You: it's okay, alright? Of course I'll be embarrassed for the time being, but we're friends I won't be embarrassed forever.

You leave your phone on the couch and go to the bathroom. You look like shit, smeared makeup, hair disgusting and you're still wearing the same clothes. You turn on the hot water, taking your clothes off and entering the shower, the warmth embracing you as you feel more relaxed.

You put on something comfortable, it's Sunday, you're going to ask Hannah to come by and you're going to order takeout.

You call her number while eating because you know she's anxious.

"Hey babes, good morning", she picks up, cheerful as always.

"Good morning", you say, biting the toast you just made.

"So, what about going out and eating something really good?", she asks.

"Hm, I'm actually not in the mood to go out? Can't you come by, we order something and watch that movie you've been bugging me for the last month?"

"Yeah, sure. We can do that", she answers and you are happy she doesn't sound upset or disappointed. With all the shit you're pulling lately you're scared your friends are going to get tired of your bullshit and stop talking to you. You used to think no one wanted a friend that's always crying and whining, but they showed you that real friends help each other.

"So what time are you gonna come?"

"I will just take a shower and wait for the bus, so in maybe like an hour?", she guesses and you nod forgetting she can't see you.

"Okay, see you then"

You decide to clean the house while waiting, Seungmin is pretty organized and clean so there's nothing too difficult. You'll just wash the dishes and vacuum a little.

Hannah arrives later than she predicted, Seungmin is already up and cleaning his room. He scolded you because it's his day to do the dishes and you shouldn't have done it because it's not fair to you.

You think he's being extra nice to you because of what happened the night before and it's true, he was really scared when you cried in his car.

He has known you for almost five years and he never saw you cry like that, even on the night you came to his house after confessing to Han you didn't cry like that. This time was different, you had a soul crushing cry, he wanted to stop the car and go to the back to hug you the same as Hannah, but he knew you were already being comforted by the perfect person.

Han is his friend, he could never choose between you two. But he couldn't deny it, that was a dick move, how could he ever say that to someone that likes him? He basically told you that he could pretend to like you if you stayed with him.

And of course, Seungmin understands the fear of losing a friend, but doing what he did just increases the chances of you never wanting to see his face again.

You are seated on the couch, watching the movie Hannah is obsessed with at the moment. She already watched it five times alone and asks anyone she can find to watch it again with her, she even repeats some sentences together with the characters.

The pizza you ordered is almost gone, you didn't know you were so hungry until the smell hit your nose. Luckily or thanks to Seungmin and Heeseung, your hangover is not that bad and you want it to stay that way so you keep drinking lots of water.

You got through the day thanks to your friends, they kept you entertained the whole time so you wouldn't overthink or even think about Han.

You are doing that just now, looking at the ceiling in the dark room. You want it all to be a dream, maybe you would wake up tomorrow and still be in middle school, you'd take the opportunity and get over him at that time, that would have spared you of some big problems.

----------------

A/N: So, I don't know how many parts this fic will have. If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing.

[jasmines-library]

Bad Moon Rising

⛤���•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

WHUMPTOBER 2024: Day one, prompt: 'Race Against Time' Summary: On a bad full moon, remus ends up hurting you and its a race against time to get you help. Warnings: Blood, gore, cursing. Word count: 1.8k

Note: Welcome to whumptober 2024!!! ⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

MASTERLIST ⛤ WHUMPTOBER 24

It was that time of month again. The time of month where Remus, the poor boy, wasn’t in a very good mood. With a very valid reason. It was far enough into the year that it was dark only a few hours after you finished your classes. It was late afternoon, and the rain pattered quietly against the glass panes of the marauders’ bedroom. The four of you were enjoying the last few moments of calm before you had to head out to the shrieking shack for the night. You would have spent it in the common room, but the noise was just too much for poor Remus’ ears, so instead you were curled up on his bed. He was pressed against you, head resting on your chest as you ran your fingers through his curls in an attempt to soothe him. You could tell that he was in quite some pain, even if he tried not to show it. He always was just before the full moon. As you shifted, re-adjusting your position to get more comfy, Remus grumbled, pulling you closer to him and away from James who was residing to your left. 

“Sorry baby.” You apologised softly. 

He just grumbled something rather incoherently, but he seemed to forgive you. 

As the sun continued to dip below the skyline, and the sky resumed that muggy grey colour, the feeling of unease seeped into the room. It would be time to go soon. You hated the full moon. You hated seeing your boyfriend in so much pain every night. But eventually, Sirius was the one to break the tension. 

“We need to go…” he said slowly and quietly as if he didn’t want to say it at all. 

Pressing a kiss to Remus’ forehead as he stood and took Sirius’s hand, you stood up off of the bed, entwined your fingers with James’ as you made your way to the shack. 

~

The Shrieking Shack was dark and dingy as always. The grey walls and crooked ceilings did little to make Remus feel welcome, and the soggy leaves that stuck to the floor, blown in by the wind or brought in on the bottom of your shoes did very little to add to that feeling. Using your wand, you lit the fireplace, hoping to eliminate some of the chill in the air and to make the transformation a little bit more comfortable for Remus. It didn’t help a whole bunch, but he appreciated the sentiment. As the fire lit up the room with its golden hues, you could see the plethora of scratch marks clawed into the wood like permanent scars; reminders of Remus’ torment. The sight of them made you shiver, and James gripped your hand tighter. 

With a hand on Remus’ back, Sirius guided him to sit on the floor. Remus let out a pained noise. The moon was high in the sky now, and the transformation was starting. You could hardly watch as Remus cried out in pain, his bones snapping and twisting as they re-organised themselves. No matter how many times you saw it, it never got easier. You buried your face into Sirius’ chest until the noises stopped. When you turned back around, instead of your boyfriend stood a werewolf. That was your cue to shrink down into your animagus. The world twisted around you as you and your other two partners transformed. And usually that would be that. The three of you would watch Moony and make sure he kept out of trouble and as long as you didn’t do anything to aggravate him, he wouldn’t mind the presence of your animagi. However this time….something was off. 

Instead of ignoring you and going to prowl through the shack, Remus was still. And staring straight at you. He tilted his head at you. His ears twitched and his eyes, gold as the sun, pierced straight into you. You stood your ground, but you couldn’t help the nervous twinge in your stomach. Moony had never shown this much interest in you before…as he took a step forward, his head bowed towards you, James let out a warning noise. And then everything sort of…snapped. Went to chaos like it never had before. Remus charged forwards, lunging on his hind legs towards you. James was quick on his feet, knocking him to the side with his antlers. Sirius darted towards you, urging you to run as you let out a frightened squeal and scattered across the room, slinking under the bed. There was a loud howl, followed by the loud thump as the werewolf crossed the room. You backed yourself further under the bed against the wall. You could see his paws as he stopped at the foot of his bed. The sharpness of his claws scraped against the floor. With a low snarl, he lowered his head, nose twitching as he tried to find you. Once he had spotted you, he snapped forwards. You darted across the room, weaving under the piano and scrambling down the stairs. You could hear a commotion behind you. Likely a frantic James and Sirius trying to slow Remus. 

You managed to hide under one of the chairs downstairs. Your heart was pounding as you tried to catch your breath, hoping that you would be safe for a little while. But your hope was short lived. Werewolves have an incredibly good sense of smell, and even better hearing. Remus would have been able to hear the rapid beating of your heart from a mile away. Everything went impossibly downhill from there. As Remus bolted down the stairs after you, James and Sirius were close behind him, but not close enough. 

The werewolf managed to grab you from under the chair with his claws. They dug into your flesh, tearing it as he dragged you out. You let out a strangled noise, your animal for trying to fight against him. Once he had pulled you out, Remus pinned you to the ground with a heavy paw, his claws still digging into your flesh like swords. You were paralysed with fear as he leaned down and snarled at you. Moony had never attacked you before. You cowered, writhing in pain as you struggled to get away until suddenly the weight was knocked away from you by an angry pair of antlers and a loud, authoritative bark. Things were a blur as James drove Remus out of the shack and into the forest, distracting Remus from you so that Sirius could shift back and kneel by you. 

“shit….Shit!” Sirius cursed as he looked down at your tiny form, your fur stained sticky with blood. This had been the boys’ biggest fear. The reason that Remus had been hesitant to let you come with them in the first place….Sirius was panicking. His heart pounding in his chest. The shack was dark, despite the fire still burning, and it was hard to tell how much damage had been caused when you were still in your animagus form. But he knew it would be hard for you to shift back, given how distressed you were. So, gingerly taking his wand from his pocket, he cast a spell over you and watched as you shifted back, your pained squeaks turning into pained sobs. Tears streamed down your face as you gasped in pain, disorientated. 

“Okay….it's okay.” Sirius said, trying to reassure you. Or himself. Probably both. His hands tried to stem the blood flow. “You're gonna be okay…I got you…”

You whimpered, crying out. The wounds burnt like fire, like an impossible amount of agonies all at once. Your vision blurred.

“Hey. stay awake. You have to stay awake okay?” Sirius pleaded with you. He couldn’t let you pass out. Not before he got you to a healer. But he also couldn’t just leave James with Remus…. 

You let out another weak, pained noise as the world spun. Sirius squeezed your hand, cursing himself for not being better at healing spells. “Come on…talk to me baby.”

“...hurts….” you managed to get out. 

“I know…I know. It's okay though. You’re gonna be fine. Moony’s sorry…and James- Jamie is gonna get back here soon and then we’ll get you to Poppy, okay?”

You didn’t really give him a response, which worried him more. He cursed silently, trying to keep you awake and to stop you from losing too much blood. But as time ticked on and you grew weaker with no sign of James, he realised that you were running out of time. That was when Sirius decided that he was going to have to take a risk. Easing his hand under you, and grimacing at the cry you let out as he lifted you up, he began to carry you out of the shack. He was silently praying that James was okay and that he had managed to distract Remus enough that it would be safe enough to get you back to the castle. 

Sirius held you close to his chest as he hurried back to the castle. He whispered words to you, trying to get you to hold on as you faded in and out of consciousness in his arms, just hoping to whatever gods were listening that he would make it in time.

~

Someone was holding your hand. The hand was soft, but calloused and all so very familiar to you. Remus. He had been by your side since he woke up. And he had been beating himself up ever since. He perked up as he saw you start to stir. 

“....baby…?” He asked, his voice almost a whisper.

“...hm?” You murmured. Your eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the harsh light before you realised you were in the hospital wing as it all came back to you. There was a bandage wrapped securely around your torso, and you were a little sore, but thanks to madam Pomfrey’s magic, you felt like you were healing nicely. When you realised fully who was beside you, you couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on your face.

“...moony…”

Remus cracked a sad smile. “Yeah…it's me…hi sweetheart.”

“...you okay..?” 

Remus couldn't help the small laugh he let out. Of course you were worried about him. “I’m fine ...but baby i’m so sorry…i-i don't know what happened.”

You squeezed his hand. “It's alright. It wasn’t you.”

“I should have been able to control myself–”

“It wasn’t you, love.” you cut Remus off immediately, feeling the need to let him know that he wasn’t responsible for what happened. 

He sighed softly. You could tell he was still feeling incredibly guilty, but had decided to drop it for now.  “You’re too good to me..to us.”

“Nah. it's just love.”

Remus’ face flushed proudly. “Merlin…i love you so much.” he pressed a kiss to your head “so damn much.”

DAY TWO ->

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

MARAUDERS TAGS:

@hearts4robs @xxrougefangxx @marauderfreaksblog

ALL TAGS:

@hell-o-kittys @harleycao @batfamsstuff @alicedawitchbish @killxz @rosecentury @lara20aral @azure-drag0ness @noisymutantherelol @rhiodes @thewhispersofthewaves

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

[loveyhoons]

YOU’RE MINE⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ | s.jh

pairing: sim jaeyun x f!reader

genre: tatbilb! inspired, fake relationship!

synopsis: when you and jake get into an argument, you decide to get over your fear of driving by yourself and tell him how much he means to you

featuring: jake & sunoo of enhypen, ej from &team

word count: 3.0k words

warnings: cussing, kissing

author’s note: hi everyone, long time no see 😭👍🏼 i decided to put out a little au for you all since i have not published something in a while! rest assured, i hope to get my other fics out hopefully very soon, but i am currently still in the process of writing them!!

if you watched tatbilb this is loosely inspired by that movie, i recently rewatched it and was like let me write something up

hope you all like this one :)

You stopped at the red light, tapping your fingers back and forth on the steering wheel.

You hated driving when you didn’t need to-more like when you weren’t alone either.

You constantly looked back and forth on your side mirrors, hoping the light would turn green soon. You did not know whether it was the cup of coffee you had this morning or that talk you had with your older sister’s ex-boyfriend EJ yesterday afternoon but it all seemed to snowball to this very moment.

Scratch that, it all was valid reasons why you were feeling this way- more specifically why you were feeling all these things for one person.

Jake Sim.

It all started in October last year when you both agreed to mutually get into a fake relationship.

With your younger sister sending out all your love letters in the mail (that were supposed to be kept a secret), you were in deep trouble.

According to her, she wanted your life to have some spice in it-whatever that meant. Well, what you didn’t know was that when you almost backed up and almost hit Jake on the first day of school, she immediately thought she could give you a little push. And with his name matching up with one of the letters she so happened to see in that little teal box, she knew what had to be done.

You remember running laps in PE, trying to ignore the sunlight and get the period over with. You stopped out of nowhere hearing Jake call your name. You turned around, seeing him walk over towards you, leaving you behind as your classmates ran ahead, getting further and further away.

As soon as you saw a letter in his hand, you felt your heart race. You recognized the pink paper and saw it was accompanied by a brown envelope- one with a forever stamp that had a blue bird on it, the design you ever so remember: it was the one you used for all your love letters at that spur of the moment you had back in freshman year.

Whenever you had a crush so intense to the point you felt like your heart was about to be ripped out of your chest, you wrote love letters. You remembered storing the letters in the teal box your Mom gave to you shortly before she passed.

You thought that keeping it safe inside the box was like a metaphor in a sense. The teal box was like your heart. It saved all these bottled up emotions you knew that you would keep and never reveal even in a million years.

But, it all went wrong once it got into the hands of those 5 guys you wrote to.

EJ your sister’s ex who happened to be your neighbor.

Heeseung Lee from summer camp.

Jake Sim from seventh grade.

Beomgyu Choi, your homecoming date in freshman year.

and Sunghoon Park from Model UN.

You mumbled to yourself, trying to decipher if this was real or reality. You then passed out and felt like you were in a dream.

A very bad dream.

Jake ran towards you, unsure of what to do. You slowly woke up, hearing the worried tone of his voice as soon as you opened your eyes.

You remembered sitting up as Jake bombarded you with questions asking if you needed water or needed to go to the nurse’s office.

And out of nowhere, EJ then appeared walking from where Jake came from, also holding a love letter in his hands. As he came down towards you, you gulped, immediately freaking out.

You kissed Jake out of nowhere as soon as EJ called out your name, immediately earning yourself an extra lap to run after.

Jake was shocked-well the both of you were. You could not believe you did that and was baffled over the whole situation.

What you didn’t know was that this would all be the start of your little contract.

Jake just broke up with his ex girlfriend a month prior to school starting. His ex was also your old best friend from middle school.

It was in the 7th grade when you both had a huge fight that would then lead to you breaking things off.

You all were at a mutual friend’s birthday party. It was a classic game of spin the bottle and the bottle landed on you then on Jake. Your mutual friend dared you to kiss Jake on the cheek.

And little did you know your best friend had a huge crush on him. And that was the end of your friendship. She just left you and you still wondered why it even happened.

With the both of you needing a favor from each other (Jake thought this could be something you would do in return for that kiss), you both agreed to make Jake’s ex jealous and you agreed to keep it up in order for EJ to not talk to you.

You really couldn’t face him at all after what happened, especially with your sister. You were at the last resort of options and decided to make a whole contract with Jake.

Anyways, it only really was supposed to be until the annual ski trip in December before winter break…right?

You would then hold hands in school, have the love letters you ever so wanted written to you, and the recreation of scenes from classic romantic comedies you loved watching with your sisters on those warm summer nights.

Jake would spin you around, give you the biggest back hugs, and wear your scrunchies on his wrist even if you weren’t there physically with him.

“What’s this?” You ask Jake as you hold the folded piece of paper in your hands. You unfolded it, seeing a paragraph on the top half.

He smiled, pointing towards it. “Your daily love letters Y/L/N.”

You read the cheesy paragraph to yourself, smiling. You looked up to him, trying not to giggle. “Who knew you were so good at writing?”

“It’s only for you.” Jake nodded his head. “You ask and you shall receive.”

It felt nice. You hated to admit you liked it. Maybe it was the fact you never had a boyfriend or the way you always so wished to experience what it would feel like to live in your own little romantic comedy.

But at the same time, you felt a wave of sadness knowing it was just all for show.

You knew things would end with Jake eventually and this would all be a nice dream you’d have to wake up to. He would eventually be back with his ex and your relationship would just be another silly thing that would slowly fade from your memory.

You felt like shit too, hiding this all from your older sister knowing you told her everything beforehand. After she left for her study abroad to France, you had no idea how to tell her about Jake or what was going on between you and EJ.

You felt overwhelmed, unsure of what to do.

And then the annual Ski trip came around and when things really started to become a bit different for you both.

You realized you fell for Jake and you wanted this relationship to be real. You wanted him-but this time as your actual boyfriend.

And that’s when you heard he was at the swimming pool. And that’s when you both shared a passionate kiss, as he also admitted to falling for you in the process too.

“Fuck, I’m going to look insane.” You mumbled to yourself, taking in a deep breath. You got into the pool, removing your bath robe. Feeling a bit chilly in your nightgown, you quickly went towards Jake. He gulped a little, flustered. He felt his heart race.

“Why didn’t you sit next to me on the bus?” Jake asked as you floated next to him.

“I figured you’d want some alone time with your ex, that’s all.” You replied a bit reluctant.

“But she’s not my girlfriend Y/L/N.” Jake bit his lip. “You are.”

“Jake-”

“I think we need to end the contract now.”

You raised your eyebrow. You could feel the disappointment and the heavy feeling in your chest. Shit, should you even still confess how you really feel?

Jake then grabs your hands as he sighed. “I don’t want to be in a fake relationship, I want us to have a fresh start with each other, I want to make things real. Rip the contract whatever we had written on there doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Wait Jake.” You felt your voice squeak a little in shock. “You’re not joking?”

“No Y/L/N. I really like you. Who were we kidding, getting ourselves into this situation? I feel like I’m just blabbing on and on but I do hope you feel the same.”

You smiled, feeling your cheeks burn. Nodding your head, you then placed your lips on his as he held you closer to him.

As you pulled away, you whispered in a smile. “Don’t worry, I feel exactly the same.”

He wrapped his arms around you as the two of you embraced in another kiss.

You felt like your life was turning for the better after that. You thought you and Jake could just rip up that contract and call it a day as soon as you both got back from the trip.

But things would only crumble from there.

As soon as you got off the bus the day after, Jake’s ex taunted you.

You thought you had lost that scrunchie- the first one you gave to Jake on that first week upon dating.

But why was it on her wrist?

You remember storming off, not even saying bye to Jake, just out of it, baffled as if whatever happened the evening prior felt like nothing even mattered.

Then your sister came home from France and found out about your little letter to EJ (thanks to him interrupting your family dinner on Christmas Eve).

Jake happened to show up at the same time as EJ did and the two ended up almost in a fight. Jake wanted to explain that nothing happened and to apologize for the scrunchie but then EJ bursted out and spoke about how he felt, confused as to why you were dating Jake.

Little did you know your older sister was behind the front door the entire time, accidentally hearing everything from the love letter to you and Jake being in a fake relationship.

She was speechless to say the least. She was disappointed you held everything in and did not tell her anything, telling you, you should not go through anything alone.

You cried on your pillow that evening, not even able to fully process how things went wrong so quickly. You remember feeling defeated and as if the Christmas spirit just washed away the next day.

And to make matters worse as soon as you got back from break, a mysterious person posted a video of you and Jake’s heated moment at the pool.

And you remember storming off on Jake, calling it quits.

It hit you that you may have lost the best person that ever happened to you.

And you didn’t know how to accept losing another important person in your life.

After you and your older sister worked things out, she was successfully able to get that video off Instagram (thankfully the help center was ever so helpful).

You made amends-somewhat- with Jake’s ex who admitted to posting the video on a burner account. She admitted the whole spin the bottle situation was why you both stopped becoming friends and left you in pure shock.

Even though you did not understand why she could not just tell you in the first place long ago, you accepted it already happened.

You could not just go back in time and undo things, you needed to face what was in front of you.

You eventually worked things out with EJ. You explained everything and apologized for the way you acted.

“Who cares if it was fake?” EJ snickered as he shook his head. He shifted his position a bit on the stair you both sat on. He tried not to laugh, glancing at you. “I could tell it wasn’t fake for you. You had that type of look in your eyes. It reminded me how your sister looked at me when we were together.”

“EJ, you’re funny but I really don’t know anymore.” You replied, hugging your knees.

“If Jake fucks this up, I hope he knows I won’t let him off easily.” EJ snapped. “This is not only for you but also for your sister. I rest my case.”

Your front door then swiftly opened to your younger sister who sat in the middle of you both. She had the teal box in her hands and took off the lid, showing the contents inside.

Instead of those love letters you wrote in the past, it was filled with the love letters that Jake wrote you. All of those letters were stored inside, each folded like how he gave it to you.

“I may have eavesdropped-I didn’t mean to okay.” Your younger sister awkwardly said. She then took one of the letters and held it up. “But I hope this gives you more of a reason to get back with Jake-not that I need a ride to school or anything. Also please, I hate to see you crying over the smallest things. I need him back in our lives. I don’t know if I can stand hearing your bitter thoughts in every romcom we watch now any longer.”

You looked at your sister in utter shock.

“The kid has spoken.” EJ smiled as he stood up. He then cooed, looking towards you. “It’s up to you now whether or not you want to put it in action.”

Now here you are on a Sunday afternoon, driving to the school campus to find Jake.

You texted his friend Sunoo in the morning who also was on the soccer team with him.

It turned out the team had practice on the weekends as the soccer season was starting once again. Sunoo texted you right after practice ended and said that Jake should still be there as practice ended a bit later than expected.

So you grabbed your keys as soon as Sunoo texted back, immediately driving out of your driveway and onto the road.

Jake was left behind according to Sunoo as it was his turn to put the soccer balls back into the large shed by the PE locker rooms.

This was the first time you drove by yourself.

That fear of yours didn’t seem to matter at all in the moment.

You just needed to make sure you would make it before Jake would leave. You could not keep your feelings to yourself anymore.

You pulled into the right school parking lot and parked your car in one of the empty spots. You got out quickly and pressed the lock button on your car keys, immediately running towards the field.

As you walked into the campus and straight to the field, you panted for a little. You stopped at the field entrance, scanning the area for Jake.

You then spotted him, putting the soccer balls into the large bags towards the sides by the left bleachers. You ran again and called out his name, going straight towards him.

Jake turned towards your direction and turned his head slightly, making sure he wasn’t hearing things.

You then stopped in front of him and sighed. “Holy shit, I feel like I’m in PE.”

“Did you drive here…alone?” Jake asked in shock as you nodded your head. He put down the bag of soccer balls, kicking it towards the side.

“Yes. I drove here alone.” You said a bit out of breath as you walked closer to him. “That’s not important right now.”

“Y/N, what’s going on?”

“I’ll just- you know what, I’ll just say whatever I am feeling right now.” You looked at him and started to speak, feeling your voice break a little. “Jake I’m so sorry for not texting you the past few weeks and for ignoring you. I just needed time to think things out.” You sighed. “I am so sorry I didn’t work things out and just left you in the dark. I realized through all of this that I want you. I want us. I want to fight for you like you did for me this entire time. I want to experience the good and bad times with you. I just want you here,

I want you with me.”

Jake’s eyes widened as his lips pursed into a smile. “I’m sorry too. I swear we didn’t do anything with each other and I feel stupid for not getting back your scrunchie and just letting her do whatever she wanted to do. I just- after you going no contact with me I didn’t know what to do then with the video being posted. Fuck, I didn’t mean for that to happen either.”

What’s done is done. I am leaving that in the past.” You replied. “I just wanted to get it out of my chest whatever I’m feeling because truthfully I like you a lot Jake. I understand if you don’t want to get back together- I just want you to know so I can get closure- we can get closure, heck I think I just got over my fear of driving alone.”

“Woah slow down you’re getting ahead of yourself!” Jake chuckled, trying to calm you down.“Sunoo sorta told me you texted him this morning…I was kind of expecting you.”

Your eyes widened in shock. “He wasn’t supposed to say anything.”

Jake cupped your cheeks in his hands and sighed. “What am I going to do with you?”

You intently looked up at him as he clicked his tongue. “There is no way I am letting you go L/Y/N. We will make this work I am sure of it. You think I would really let you go after what happened in the seventh grade?”

“Not you mentioning it again, I can’t believe you still remember that…” You shook your head in embarrassment.

“I’m just telling the truth.” Jake said defensively as you smiled. He then took a deep breath and asked,”Now, the real question is… can I be your boyfriend-like your real one?”

You smiled, nodding your head. “Didn’t need to ask, I'm all yours.”

Jake pulled you in for a kiss as you moved in, standing closer towards him. And you stayed like that for a little while, relieved that you found your way back to him.

© loveyhoons , 2024

landing page | masterlist

[lehguru]

AFFECTIONATE + STRAW HATS

the straw hats with a extremely affectionate crew member!!

warnings: this was a request, pure fluff, written with platonic relationships in mind + commissions are open !!

the straw hats are a very warm and sweet crew. none of them would ever deny the affection from another mate, but they all have different ways of receiving and dealing with it.

luffy would be a little confused at first. why are you holding his hand? do you want to take him somewhere? after spending some time with you, he wouldn't mind the affection and would be more comfortable about touching you too. if you're not the one hugging him, he will b hanging from you and whining about something.

zoro is the only one that doesn't really know how to deal with your affection. he would never hurt you or be actually mad at you for it, he simply does not know how to react. he will allow you to hug him and hold his arm, even give him kisses on his face, but he will always pull his hands away from your grip. if you ask why, he will tell you that he needs them to fight if something happens. but, eventually, he will let you hold his hand if you are in a more relaxed moment – in private too and don't you dare tell anyone about it.

nami would find your affectionate side extremely lovely. whenever you two are talking, she would lay down her head on your lap, letting you play with her orange hair while she speaks. she loves to cuddle to sleep and hold arms while you two walk around. if you want to give her kisses on the cheek and randomly hug her, she will mimic your actions and giggle loudly.

sanji absolutely thrives with the affection you give him. you can make that man your living teddy bear and he wouldn't mind it at all. kisses, hugs, holding hands, playing with his hair, everything is allowed. he often will initiate those himself; he loves to come up behind you, hug you and spin you around, then give you a light forehead kiss as you laugh. if you hold his hand and tell him he looks nice that day, get ready for him to pass out on top of you, his eyes turned into hearts.

usopp is a little shy when it comes to your physical touch. it doesn't mean he doesn't like it, though! he loves it! he just gets a little embarassed about it. whenever you hold him, he would look around to see if anyone was watching you two; if no one is paying attention, he would lean on your touch and reciprocate it. his favorite thing is when you press a soft kiss on the tip of his nose, it makes him feel validated and nice.

chopper pretends to not like the affection but he absolutely adores it! loves it when you hug him and give him kisses. chopper likes to be held by you as he explains something or while exploring a place the crew decided to check. zoro, robin and you are the people that chopper loves the most to shower with; the way you caress his head and give him little forehead kisses in the bath makes him so so happy.

robin finds your affection really cute. whenever you hug her, she hugs you back and chuckles softly. if you likes to read, she would enjoy having a afternoon with you cuddled up against her body as she reads a book out loud. she would prefer to not cuddle to sleep, but she's definitely alright with you sleeping closer to her.

franky is HUGE on touching as a form of affection. in fact, out of all the straw hats, i believe he is the biggest appreciator of skin-to-skin contact. you can jump on his back while he is working and he will chuckle, spin around while holding you and then keep on working with you as his backpack as if that's nothing. sometimes he might not notice you want to hold his hand because of it's large size, but just give him soft eyes and he will bring out the smaller hand so you can hold it as you wish.

brook would enjoy your physical touch more than he would let out, but he would also be a little insecure about it; after all, he is... well, just bones. if you don't mind it and still keep on hugging him, holding his hand and much more, he would be overjoyed, his characteristic laughter coming out of his mouth.

jinbei wouldn't mind, but wouldn't exactly reciprocate it. he finds your behavior a little odd, although a little endearing too, and he just doesn't know what to do to give it back to you. he will still allow you to hug him and jump on his back whenever you please, as long as you ask or at least warn him about it!

2023 © content belongs to lehguru, but the characters used in them belong to their respective creators!!

[yuwuta]

Is childhood friends to lovers with Satoru valid? ‼️

Fav trope tbh

ALWAYS VALID!!! best trope imo….. so many ways this could go with him……

one of the best things about a non-curse childhood friends to lovers au with satoru is the ability to explore the fact that he’s actually a genius and absolutely a loser, just a handsome and charming one so people overlook his loser-ish tendencies/he’s the nerd that makes being a nerd cool.... by all metrics you’re more “popular” than satoru is. you’re not a mathlete, you’re not in the chemistry club, you don’t make nationals at chess or judo, and you don’t spend your afternoons burying your head in a gameboy playing digimon; plus, you’re not nearly as insufferable as he is when it comes to interacting with other people. this doesn’t make satoru feel bad in any way, he always says he has to surround himself with the best people, and you’re proof of that; you’re pretty and smart and students and teachers like you and you’re his best friend—you’re proof that satoru is incredible. 

he blames you for why he ends up being so needy. you’re the one that stuck by him even when he was causing problems or starting fights or picking on smaller kids (his growth spurt is really. not good for anyone), you’re the one who pinched his ear and jabbed his side and told him to get his head out of his ass and made sure he wasn’t completely unbearable. you’re the one who remembered to bring a portable charger for his gameboy when you guys took trips into the city for the day, and you’re the one who kept playing for him when he was mid-battle but really had to use the bathroom. you’re the one who always answered his calls at ass o’clock in the morning when he needed to ramble about whatever, or couldn’t sleep, or was begging you to let him drag you downtown to some niche pop-up store opening because, “you don’t get it they’re releasing limited edition flavors of their best selling mochi! we HAVE to be in line three hours before hand if we want to get any!” he was supposed to just be a regular old loser, but you came along and gave him standards and friendship and intimacy and now you must reap what you’ve sewn, he is your responsibility now.

satoru doesn’t realize just how much you’ve spoiled him until college/grad school, when he thinks other people wanna hear him nerd out about his shows or games or hobbies and they only endure it because he’s ridiculously beautiful. he’s kinda slow to this pattern at first, but once he catches it, he flops onto your bed, lamenting about how his beauty is blinding and you see the true him. you tease him about how he’s technically admitting that you see him as ugly, and he borderline starts crying and weeping, and honestly he likes to mess with you, but he doesn’t know why he needs to hear you admit that he’s handsome out loud, but he doesn’t let it go until you’re laughing and giving up, “okay, okay, i’m kidding satoru. you’re a very pretty princess and your suitors should want your hand for your personality, too.” and if you thought satoru wasn’t normal before that, you were wrong; something in him short circuits that day and it takes him approximately three-business weeks of ruminating and pouting and running equations in his head and reading research papers on emotions and the brain and attraction and it doesn’t come to him until he’s in the middle of his lecture, and he stops spinning his pencil so abruptly and breaks it in half and says to himself, out loud, “i’m in LOVE with her??” true loser lover behavior. 

[fayes-fics]

When The World Is Free: Chapter 5 - Sans Y Penser

MASTERPOST PREV | NEXT

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, WW2 AU.

Warnings: none really... mildly angsty situations, some flirting and interesting proposals.

Word Count: 2.9k

Author’s Note: Multi-chapter fic based on a request by the lovely @amillcitygirl! Please see the masterpost for a synopsis of this story. HERE BE PLOT. A lot of things happen in this one afternoon. Thanks to @colettebronte for beta reading. Enjoy!

Le Havre, September 1939

The port city of Le Havre is bustling with travellers hauling suitcases and steamer trunks, all walks of life converging on this point of exit. You weave through the crowds from the train station as a trio, headed for the bright red awnings of the company sailing to the USA. Benedict and Eloise hang back as you approach the ticket window. 

“Name?” the brusque man in the booth opens with a crisp American accent.

“Y/n y/l/n,” you smile politely.

“You are not on the manifest,” he sighs after a pause to scan down the paperwork, impatience colouring his tone.

“But I must be,” you frown, “I was given this here…” 

You push your ticket under the window, clearly marked with today’s date. 

“Fraudsters,” his economic response.

“But… they were from your company? Outside your offices in Paris? And wearing your company livery? They… They said I could bring forward my sailing date from August to today. They took my original ticket and gave me this! It looks the same!” Panic rises in your voice with each sentence, dread churning behind your ribs as you realise you have likely been duped. 

“I'm sorry, ma’am, but that is not a valid ticket,” is his monotone reply.

“Oh god. What can I do? May I buy another ticket now?!?”

His responding laugh is a loud bark, “Hah! Ma’am, we are booked up for weeks in advance. There is a long line every day of people hoping for last-minute availability,” he signals to a line of weary-looking, luggage-laden folks under a makeshift shelter.

“But I….” you feel your eyes watering and dread in the pit of your stomach like you are falling down an endless chasm. 

“Ma’am, please step aside; I need to ensure valid passengers can board this ship…” he warns in a tone that is wholly without sympathy.

With a weak nod, you stumble away, back towards Benedict and Eloise. As you draw closer, their faces are a picture of concern, realising something is amiss. As you tearfully recount what happened, Benedict seethes, and Eloise wraps her arm around you, looking pained. 

“I’m going up there. This is unacceptable!” Benedict grits out, righteous indignation fizzing from his very being.

You have to hold out a hand to physically stop him. “It's likely no use,” you appease.

His ire deflates a fraction at your hold on his coat sleeve. “At least let me try, y/n,” he modifies after a few beats.

“Alright,” you relent, dropping your hand, “but I do not expect a different answer.”

You and Eloise cling to each other as you watch Benedict remonstrate with the same man and then a different one at the window. All the while, your stomach is in knots, equal parts fear and hope.

It's five or more minutes before Benedict returns to you, his face pinched.

“I was not successful,” he screws his mouth, looking away as if he cannot meet your eye as he says it. “They don't seem to care that criminals are posing as agents for their organisation,” he rubs his eyebrow in irritation. “I would report it to the police, but it's not their jurisdiction here, and it still does not solve our dilemma…”

“Thank you anyway…” you breathe, “for trying at least…”

There is a long silence as the three of you stand there, stupified by the conundrum before you. The chime of a clock on the harbour building breaks your thoughts.

“It's 3pm. Your sailing back to England is in less than an hour. You should go. You two leave without me,” you demure.

“NO!” they both exclaim in almost comic sibling unison.

“I’ll be fine, seriously.”

“I’m not leaving you alone here for god knows how long until there is room on a ship to America. You can’t be alone. This isn’t Paris; this is a port city. It’s definitely not safe,” Eloise rattles off, looking at you imploringly.

“She’s right,” Benedict concurs. “You were safe in Paris together before the war. You are not safe here. A beautiful young woman. You are a target for thieves or even worse. You cannot stay here alone.”

You try your hardest not to let Benedict calling you beautiful derail your whole thought train, but it’s futile. Your mind is scattered like a pile of wooden toy railway coaches.

“I... I could return to Paris?” You finally suggest after what feels like an eternity of buffering. “I could call to check for last-minute availability every morning. It’s only a couple of hours by train. I’ll be always packed and ready to go…” you argue, not as yet realising the naivety behind your own idea.

“Paris will be the first target for Hitler’s invasion,” Benedict says gravely. “It could be much worse to remain there…”

“So what am I to do? I’m damned if I do, and I’m damned if I don’t…”

“There is only one solution, and that is for us to remain here as well until you can secure passage out of the country,” Benedict shrugs.

“Agreed,” Eloise nods emphatically as you go to protest.

“There are many more sailings back to England, and tickets are easier to come by,” Benedict points out. “We can move our tickets up. At least by a few days until we can devise a plan.”

 “Wait… if there are no ships to America, why don't you come to England with us?” Eloise pipes up in a lightbulb moment.

“I have nowhere I could stay…” 

“Nonsense! You will stay with us at Aubrey Hall. Won’t she, Benedict?”

“Oh yes, of course. There are plenty of spare rooms,” he assures.

“Gosh, umm... Maybe? I…” you hesitate. The whiplash of the last few minutes and the generosity of their offer momentarily overwhelm you. “That's very generous of you. The problem is I don’t know for how long it would be, or even if I should. My parents only agreed to me living in Paris under the watchful eye of Solene. This… this is entirely other…”

You startle as Benedict places his hands on your shoulders, pulling your attention to his sincere expression. “Y/n, you need to worry less about what your family thinks and more about yourself - what you need and your safety. This is escaping impending war; it’s a completely different circumstance from how you arrived here. The decisions you make right now have to be selfish and unburdened by expectations. It’s easy for others to judge from the distance of safety. But look around you. This town is teeming with people clambering to leave the country before an invasion. We do what we have to in unpredictable circumstances to survive.”

“You sound like a soldier,” you murmur.

“It’s what my father was,” he replies, releasing his grip but not moving away. “As a very young man in The Great War. He was lucky to survive, being an officer away from the front lines, but he taught me many things before he died. And one was about always making the smart choice if you can see one, even if it feels uncomfortable. The smart choice here is to escape by any means necessary. We all know Hitler has his sights set on France, especially Paris, as the figurative and cultural capital of Europe. You must get out. You must come with us.” You are captivated by his hazy eyes as he speaks, your heart beating fast as his face and voice grow softer. “Please. I could not live with myself if we left you behind,” he admits in a much quieter tone, but the plea is no less impassioned.

You cannot help it. You stare up at him, transfixed. Stanley has never been so eloquent. Or indeed so invested in your well-being. 

“Alright…” your hesitancy soft, “but you must let me pay you for my ticket…”

His face seems to light up at your acquiescence. “One day… maybe,” he smiles.

And so that is what he does - leaves you and Eloise ensconced in a nice bistro overlooking the harbour with a large bottle of white wine as he walks over to the ticket office for the ferry company and swaps their tickets for a few days hence and purchases an additional ticket for you, steadfastly refusing to tell you the cost for it even for many weeks hence.

While you are in the ladies' room, Eloise strikes up a conversation with a young man in uniform at the adjacent table; you fondly roll your eyes as you retake your seat and leave them be. Your gaze, however, is never far from the window, to where Benedict last left your line of sight, somehow anxious for his return.  When he reappears, striding purposefully towards the cafe, your chest flutters hard, his coat swishing around his legs, his hat at an attractive slant. If there is one thing you swear you could spend a lifetime doing, it’s watching Benedict Bridgerton just… be. 

“Any luck?” you ask as he arrives and doffs his hat, taking a seat on your other side, throwing an exasperated glance at his little sister and the uniformed man.

“We are set to sail Thursday,” he smiles and signals for the waiter, ordering a glass of Beaujolais. “I also stopped in the post office to call Solene. She has said we can stay as long as we need to at her sister’s cottage a few miles from town.”

“Oh, that's wonderful news!” your shoulders relax for the first time in what feels like hours. “But wait, I remember she said there is only one bedroom,” you point out. “You’ve been sleeping on our sofa for days now… you deserve a bed. I’ll take the sofa…”

“No. Also, I’m not sharing a bed with my sister,” he shudders, “she kicks in her sleep!”

“Oh, thanks. So I guess you want me to have bruised shins, then??” You laugh with gusto, the ricochet day making all your emotions heightened, seemingly bouncing from one extreme to another. Right now, a strange bubble of joy at this lighthearted exchange.

“Not at all. In fact, I’d happily share with you instead to save your legs from the abuse!” 

You know it’s said in jest, the comedic relief of the moment evident on his face, but still, a shot fires in your chest at the thought of sharing a bed with him. You decide to make light of it, even as your heart quickens.

“How do I know this kicking is not a problem that runs in the family? And you’re way stronger than her!”

“You can tie me down if it would make you feel better!” he chuckles loudly. 

You flush all over, the very thought so beguiling yet scandalous. And yet you cannot stop your mouth running away with you, this flirtatious banter too tasty to resist, the wine you’ve been drinking far too quickly for the last half hour loosening your lips.

“I think you would enjoy that far too much, Mr Bridgerton,” you volley back, raising an eyebrow with a giggle.

His cheeks turn the most adorable shade of pink even as his eyes dilate rapidly, a corner of his tongue flicking out to pull his bottom lip under his teeth. It makes you want to sink your teeth right there, this impulse to be so physical with someone discombobulating. You've never had such errant, feral desires for Stanley. 

“You're probably right…” he rumbles quietly after a pause. 

You dare to hold his gaze even though you know it’s a mistake. This nightmare of a day makes you uncaring of propriety. He looks as wild as you feel inside, a glint in his eye that is at once permission and danger. 

“Theo here has been telling me all sorts of helpful information,” Eloise leans in, breaking the spell between you, a slight slur in her voice from her wine. 

Theo nods to you and Benedict. On closer inspection, he appears to be in a British soldier uniform. 

“I have to get back on duty,” he explains apologetically as he rises from his seat, “but I hope the information I’ve provided to your sister here will help.” He adds with a tiny salute.

You look surprised at Eloise as she just shrugs. You thought her up to her usual flirtatious banter, not researching. Benedict looks impressed too. You both, however, don’t miss the note he slips to Eloise before he takes his leave. Perhaps not purely intelligence gathering, then.

“Theo is helping process entry to Britain for foreign nationals wanting safe harbour. The numbers have spiralled since the war was declared.” She begins to explain when he is out of sight. “There is sadly a waiting list. But there are a few ways to skip the queue…

“Those being?” Benedict prompts before you can.

“Having family relatives residing in Britain already or, top of the pile, being the spouse of a British national.”

You slump your shoulders. “I have no relations there. Uncle Robert was visiting, but he was already at sea returning to America when the war was declared,” you explain, wishing he had stayed a few weeks longer.

“I wonder if we can find any paperwork forgers around?” Eloise ponders aloud.

“Eloise,” Benedict's tone is one of brotherly warning and disapproval, “we will not be taking that route.” his tone striking a chord of finality.

“But… how else can we get her into the country without bending the rules?” she exclaims at him, frustrated, gesticulating.

“I’m thinking…” Benedict grouses back, rubbing his chin and looking deep in thought.

Eloise leans back in her chair and twists her mouth into a pout. She takes a swig of wine before twisting to you and casually making a suggestion that flips your entire being.

“You could marry this one,” she jokes, shrugging and gesturing at Benedict. 

Your eyes dart to Benedict and his to you. A tidal wave of a hundred different feelings crashing through you at once.

“I’ll do it…” he offers, quick and quiet.

“El, don't be ridic…” your denial, spoken over his, dies on your tongue as you process what he said. 

You can't help it, you gape open-mouthed at him. As does Eloise.

“You would?” you stutter.

He nods, mien sincere, but you could swear there is more, too, a rousing intensity.

“I was joking, brother,” Eloise frowns.

“It's the only solution that guarantees her passage out of France,” he argues, “that's the most important thing here…”

“But marriage? That is such a sacrifice… I could never ask that of you…”  you shake your head, even as your stomach feels like a rollercoaster.

“That's why I'm offering, so you don't have to ask,” he shrugs as if this is not a big deal. “It is not me who has to make the sacrifice. It is you who has an intended…”

Stanley.

Your face falls as you think of the consequences. Marrying Benedict, if only for escape, would wound Stanley beyond belief. Your father, both your parents, in fact, would vehemently disapprove. 

“We can annul it as soon as we get to England…” he assures.

“French marriages can be annulled, brother, yes, but in France. Not in England,” Eloise pipes up, ever the font of knowledge.

“Then I will grant you an immediate divorce,” he amends.

“I can't believe you are taking me seriously,,,” Eloise mutters, but both of you seem to ignore it.

“I’d still be a divorcee, damaged goods as my father would say…” you wince at the phrase but know it to be accurate in Long Island, as much as you hate it.

“I don't know how else to help you escape, y/n,” Benedict implores, slightly alarmed. 

“Keep thinking!” Eloise interjects hotly. “I won't have my poor best friend here shackled to a Bridgerton brother. She has done absolutely nothing to deserve such a sentence, however short.”

“Eloise!” you scold without thought, “don't be so rude about your brother! He's wonderful….”

You immediately flush with embarrassment as she looks at you suspiciously. You dare not even look over to the subject of your praise, but you can feel the weight of his stare.

“But umm yes, let's keep thinking…” you mumble, embarrassed, looking down and picking at your cuticles in your lap.

“I need a bloody cigarette,” Eloise pronounces, suddenly standing up, her chair scraping loudly over the tiled floor.

“Sister, you do not smoke,” Benedict frowns up at her, again with that air of elder sibling forbearance.

“Sometimes I do,” she shrugs, her tone defiant, “and this situation definitely warrants one.” She jabs her finger by her side to emphasise her opinion.

With that, she marches up to the bar and orders one but does not return to the table, shooting you both a look before heading to the wall outside and sitting alone, staring out at the horizon and taking deep draws.

You and Benedict sit in silence, heads bowed in thought for what feels like an age, only interspersed with small sips of wine. 

“I honestly can't think of another way out of this mess…” Benedict sighs, breaking the hush. “But I understand it's such an enormous decision; you need time to consider it.”

You are scared by how much your heart and mind are screaming, ‘I really don't, I will marry you,’ even if your gut churns with the idea of how you will explain it to everyone. You look up, and again, those blue eyes bore into yours. Sincerity, concern, empathy, and something that looks dangerously like desire. You could get lost in that look. Forever.

“I’ll do it…” you whisper, knowing you are playing with fire… and yet yearning to be burned.

Benedict taglist: @foreverlonginguniverse @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @desert-fern @starkeylover @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @amygdtjhddzvb @sya-skies @balladynaaa

[fanfictionismyaddiction]

Beneath the Surface

Warnings: Depression, Eating Disorder, Emotional Distress, Mental Health Struggles

Summary: Y/n, struggling with depression and an eating disorder, feels trapped in her own darkness, unable to confide in her husband, Toto Wolff, for fear of burdening him. Despite her attempts to hide her pain, Toto notices the changes in her and becomes increasingly concerned.

Pairing: Toto Wolff x reader

Word count: 869

If you need help please don´t shy away and confide in someone for help. your feelings are valid.

______________________________________________________________

Y/n stared blankly out of the window, her eyes tracing the familiar skyline of England. The sun was setting, casting a warm, golden hue over the city, but she felt nothing. The world outside was vibrant, alive with color and energy, but inside, she was a hollow shell, trapped in a gray fog that refused to lift.

Toto had left early that morning, heading to the Mercedes factory for yet another meeting. His life was a whirlwind of decisions, deadlines, and constant pressure. Y/n had always admired his drive and ambition, the way he could juggle a million things at once and still come home to her with a smile. But lately, that smile felt like a spotlight, one she couldn't bear to stand under.

She sighed, her hand drifting to the untouched plate of food in front of her. The thought of eating made her stomach turn, a wave of guilt crashing over her for the third time that day. The food wasn’t the problem—she was. Her mind was a battlefield, a war she had been losing for months now. The depression had crept in slowly, like a shadow lengthening in the afternoon sun, until it swallowed her whole.

And the eating disorder? That was her secret weapon, the twisted coping mechanism she clung to in a desperate attempt to feel some semblance of control. But the control was an illusion, and she knew it. It was a spiral, one that tightened around her like a noose, leaving her breathless and panicked.

She couldn’t tell Toto. The very thought of burdening him with her darkness made her chest ache. He had enough on his plate, running a Formula 1 team and maintaining the image of a calm, collected leader. He didn’t need her problems on top of that.

But Toto noticed. He always did.

He had seen the way her clothes hung a little looser on her frame, the way her smile never quite reached her eyes anymore. He noticed how she pushed food around on her plate, claiming she wasn’t hungry, or that she had eaten earlier. He watched as the light in her eyes dimmed, replaced by a distant, haunted look that broke his heart.

Toto was no stranger to pressure and stress, but the sight of his wife slipping away from him was a different kind of pain, one he didn’t know how to fight. He had tried to bring it up gently, asking if she was okay, if there was anything she wanted to talk about. Each time, she brushed him off with a weak smile and a quick excuse.

But Toto wasn’t fooled. He knew something was terribly wrong, and the longer she kept him at arm’s length, the more desperate he became to help her.

One evening, he came home earlier than usual, hoping to catch her before she retreated into the solitude of their bedroom. He found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a cup of tea that had long gone cold.

“Y/n,” he called softly, not wanting to startle her.

She looked up, startled anyway, and quickly forced a smile. “Hey, I didn’t hear you come in. How was your day?”

Toto walked over, pulling out the chair next to her and sitting down. He took her hand in his, noting how thin and cold it felt. “It was fine,” he said, keeping his voice gentle. “But I’m more worried about how your day was.”

Y/n’s smile faltered, and she looked away, unable to meet his eyes. “I’m fine, Toto. Just a little tired, that’s all.”

He squeezed her hand, his heart aching at the way she tried to downplay her struggles. “Y/n, you’re not fine. I can see that something is wrong, and it’s killing me that you won’t let me in.”

Her eyes filled with tears, and she quickly blinked them away, shaking her head. “I don’t want to burden you with my problems. You have enough to deal with already.”

Toto’s expression softened, and he reached out to gently cup her cheek, turning her face toward him. “You are never a burden to me, Y/n. You’re my wife, my partner in everything. If you’re hurting, then I’m hurting too. Please, let me help you.”

The dam broke then. The tears she had been holding back for so long spilled over, and she crumpled into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Toto held her tightly, his own eyes damp as he whispered soothing words, promising her that they would get through this together.

“I’m so sorry,” she choked out between sobs. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I feel so lost, so out of control, and I didn’t want to drag you down with me.”

“You don’t have to go through this alone,” Toto murmured, stroking her hair. “We’ll find help, Y/n. We’ll get through this, one step at a time. But you have to trust me, and let me in. We’re a team, remember?”

She nodded against his chest, the weight of her secret finally lifting, if only a little. “I’m scared, Toto.”

“I know,” he whispered. “But we’ll face it together, every step of the way.”

[witchthewriter]

𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  

a/n: nsfw included

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ

INFJ

Slytherin

Chaotic Neutral > Good

Gemini Sun, Leo Moon, Cancer Rising

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

・Loki loves you no matter what size you are or how you look on the outside

・Even though your insecurities are valid, it doesn’t mean Loki sees them as such. They know how much your thoughts affect you. So they do the best they can, to make you feel comfortable in your own skin

・In different cultures beauty is recognised differently.

・What is known as "beautiful" on Earth, isn't the same everywhere else (hell, even different countries have a different view on beauty).

・And with Loki who has seen many things over the course of his life, what he deems as attractive is different to what others may.

・So when he saw you, he thought you were one of the most beautiful people in the universe.

・You didn't believe him at first, when he gave you compliments here and there. After all, he was evil in your eyes.

・You thought he was making fun of you, trying to manipulate you. It's just what you automatically thought - as you it's what you were told.

・Time had changed him, experiences and circumstances turned him from self-centred to compassionate.

・And so you were shocked when you overheard him defend you one afternoon

・You didn't believe in soulmates, it didn't make sense to have one perfect person

・But you felt it. That pull towards him, like a tether, or a piece of string.

・No matter how hard you tried to convince yourself, you couldn't stop the gut feeling of needing to be around him

・Your relationship slowly started to turn when he asked about your interests

・And when you found something in common, you spent so much time together.

・One night, after spending all day together, he said something that solidified your relationship as a romantic one

"Y/n, I don't think I could live this life without you. But if this is all I get, this time we have spent together -then I am glad to have it." His voice wavered, and he whispered, "I would die a happy man."

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

What We Thought Was Hate Was Actually Just Deep-Seeded Love

Beauty and the Beast

Soulmates

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Enemies to Lovers

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

The Crown of Jaehaerys by Ramin Djawadi

𝑁𝑆𝐹𝑊 🔞 No one under the age of 18 past this point, I bloody mean it. 

・Loves when you sit on his face. Just having your whole weight smothering him, surrounding him... the thought turns him on, on the spot

・A lot of the time it's Loki initiating intimacy. There's an insatiable need that he has for you.

・When you become comfortable in the relationship, Loki would open up about his fantasies.

・His biggest ones are actually very different. He still has a deep desire to be in charge; to sit on a throne and be worshipped

・And then his other is to be the worshipper, to be on his knees and told what to do

・Loves having his hair pulled. The feeling of fingers grabbing at his scalp, forcing him to look into your eyes.

・He needs to hear your moans, especially when it's his name

・Loki is ... quite a few years older than you. Which means he has a lot of experience. During those years, Loki was constantly trying to find the right person, but he soon found out that they didn't exist. Until he met you. Now everyone else is forgettable

・Intimate moments always have an element of playfulness. Loki's smirk is never too far away

・Loki also likes eating ass and having his ass ... ate

[creepswrites]

Hi, I just read your hcs about reader struggling with anxiety and depression, it was really great! I am also sorry you're going through tough times rn, I really really hope you'll feel better soon. Tbh I've been going through something myself and reading the Sinclair brothers' hcs, it reminded me of an idea I've wanted to eequest for a long while. I would like to request for the Siclair brothers (separately) x gn!reader headcanons where the reader struggles with mental health issues, but since they don't really leave Ambrose they can't get to their medication. How would they approach the brothers about it, would they hide it, how would the brothers react, you know.

Of course you can work on this when you feel like it, if you're not feeling like it with what's going on in your life. Or scrap the idea altogether, or add whoever you want. Thank you so much for letting me get my thoughts out tho <3 You are valid. You are loved. You are seen.

thank you for the kind wishes, i do appreciate it :) i tried to keep this relatively inclusive as to what exactly reader is suffering from but some stuff may be a lil specific. and don't worry, writing helps distract me so i'm happy to do this <3

SINCLAIR BROTHERS x GN! READER WHO NEEDS THEIR MEDICATION

BO SINCLAIR

You absolutely tried to hide it at first. How could you not?

Bo wasn't exactly... understanding about that kind of thing

I mean, you've seen how he acts with Vincent sometimes and thats his own brother. You don't want to imagine how he'd treat you if he knew...

But you knew the longer you went without your prescriptions, the more difficult things would get

It started small. Your moods would change randomly and very drastically - one extreme to another or you'd have trouble sleeping or oversleeping or - your least favorite - you'd lash out at one of the brothers for seemingly nothing

Bo noticed. He didn't say anything about it because he assumed that, if it was that important, you'd tell him

So when you had a full on meltdown on the kitchen floor one afternoon, he was blindsided

He had no idea it'd gotten this bad and, unfortunately, his first reaction was to get mad at you. He yelled at you, tried to get you to pull yourself together. After all, if you had been suffering, you would've told him! Right...?

It's not until your crying abruptly stops that he realizes he fucked up. You shut down on him, near catatonic as he tries to apologize

He's scared. And when he's scared, he lashes out. You know that. It still doesn't make it hurt less

The brothers agree that there needs to be regular trips made so you can get your medication. Lester offers to take you since he's the one who goes to town the most anyways

You and Bo get into an argument about it once or twice because he doesn't understand why you wouldn't tell him

His heart breaks a little when you tell him you didn't think he'd believe you or would look at you differently for it

He reassures you that no, never. He totally understands the moodswings, the angry episodes you have, those things

Once you're on your meds again, you two promise that if anything major like this happens for either of you, that you can always lean on each other

Bo takes time getting there but he grows to understand you and figure out how best to help you!

VINCENT SINCLAIR

You tell Vincent pretty early on that you need medication

While you don't give him many specifics as to why, you tell him that life will be better for all of you if you keep taking them

At first he's a little apprehensive of letting you go into town so Bo goes with you to pick it up

Not because he doesn't believe you! But because he's scared you're still trying to escape

He wants to know what they're for so he's not above snooping around to read the labels

(You'd tell him if he asked but he didn't know that)

The amount you take surprises him and he tries to think about what you're like off them, in a morbidly curious way

He is, however, insistent that you're taking them consistently and without interruption. Vince makes sure you take them every day and gets on his brother's cases if they give you a hard time about it

They're not cures though. You both find that out the hard way when he finds you trembling in the corner of his shop like you were in freezing weather. The panic attack was violent and took you by surprise but Vincent holds steady

He sits with you, humming soft melodies to try and ground you

When you're ready, he hugs you and you just break down into tears. You'd never wanted him to have to see you like this, you don't want him to think you're some fragile china doll who can't take care of themself

But he would never see you like that. You explain that, while the meds make them less frequent, you're not cured completely

Things will slip through the cracks sometimes and that's okay! He'll always be there when you need him

When he catches you scratching yourself anxiously, he buys you gloves and makes sure you keep your nails short

He catches you picking at your face and gets you small bandages you can place over the spots so you don't obsessively pick

Vincent is always doing little things to try and improve your quality of life, even if you're taking medication!

LESTER SINCLAIR

You don't really tell him but you also don't hide it from him either

He notices you taking pills every morning and every night and is able to put two and two together

Probably asks you what they're for once you two have been dating for a bit but it doesn't really change much in your relationship

He's relatively chill about it though and offers to take you into town to pick up your meds

Likes to hoard pills for you so you never run out - it's an irrational fear of his but you think its sweet

Whenever you get sad, Jonesy and Lester are both right there to comfort you however you need

Sometimes, when the bad thoughts get too loud, Lester catches you staring vacantly into the bathroom mirror or out windows and he worries

One night you wandered out into the woods, barefoot and freezing, just because you felt so out of touch with your own body

Everything felt fake and floaty and you just needed to be out somewhere harsh and grounding and real

You love Lester, you really do, but there, in the forest all alone, all you could think about was how empty you felt

He finds you early the next morning and he was clearly worried sick, still in his sleep clothes with just a flashlight and an anxious Jonesy

Once at home and warm from your shower, he pleads with you to talk to him about it

You finally spill about how you've felt completely dissociated from yourself, even with all the meds you're taking, and it just got to be too much

He gives you a hug and you both agree to try and find other ways to shock you back to reality that don't involve you wandering into the forest at night

Turns out, an ice cube on the back of the neck works wonders to snap you out of whatever stupor you've found yourself in!

Lester is as involved with it as you'd let him. Never ashamed or afraid to lend you a hand with anything!

[creative-caramel-coffee]

Left Behind and Bleeding

Summary: you’ve been feeling forgotten all week when your period shows up you just want to curl up and hide. Will your girlfriends look after you this time?

TW: Angst, periods, being forgotten, anxiety, feeling left out, abandonment issues, self-doubt, mentions of drug use, teasing

Words: 1.2K

A/n: it’s that time of the month when I hit you with another period fic lol. Sorry it’s a bit short. Also … I may be projecting again … maybe hehe.

It had been a bad few days to say the least. To start off you had plans to hang out with Natasha, but she got given a last-minute mission, so you had to postpone. Which would have been fine on its own, but it seemed yo have sparked a pattern.

All week people had been cancelling on you, having some reason or another that seemed valid at the time but looking back made you overthink.

Wanda had some people she needed to visit, and you understood. But everyone seemed to be prioritising other things. Even your mother wasn’t answering your calls. Leading you to believe she was either dead or ignoring you.

On the fourth day of having nobody to hang out with in the usually very busy tower, you were getting fed up.

Your mind had been trying to spin a story that everyone simply didn’t like you. That they would rather hang out with other people and that you really didn’t have anyone in your corner.

Of course, you had been fighting the notion for days now, but it was getting harder to ignore as people continued to have bigger, better things to do without you.

Nat had gotten back from her mission and had immediately gone to do some training and after you caught her watching a movie with Clint. You had moped around your room all afternoon, feeling like you were a B-list avenger at best.

Your mind had convinced you that nobody cared and so you had spent the afternoon crying alone in your room.

When dinner came, it seemed everyone had returned. Something you had not been counting on, so your eyes were still red and puffy when Jarvis announced dinner.

In a panic you threw on some sunglasses in an attempt to keep the others from finding out.

Yet it had simply orchestrated a point of teasing for the whole meal. Everyone wanted to know why you were wearing them, but you kept your head down and tried to seem cheerful.

Sam was trying to convince people that you must have been high, while wanda could practically hear your loud thoughts from the other end of the table. Her and Nat exchanged expressions when you got up from the meal not even halfway through.

Feeling awful you almost cried when you got back to your room to discover your period had started.

Life seemed to be throwing more than a few curveballs at you, it was throwing the full field.

You stuck in a pad and threw on some warm pjs before crawling under the covers and letting a few tears fall while your breathing evened out.

Wanda had finished her dinner around the same time as Natasha had so, they had met up in the kitchen while washing their dishes.

“Wanda?” Nat asked from where she was drying her plate off.

“Yeah?” Wanda asked, her hands covered in suds.

Nat chewed her lip for a second before carefully selecting her words. “Was there … anyone off with Y/n these last few days?” Nat asked.

“I don’t know why?” Wanda said and Nat frowned.

“What do you mean ‘I don’t know’ werent you here?” Nat said.

“No? I told you I was visiting friends for a few days.” Wanda said.

“Oh my god.” Nat said feeling bad. “Did we both ditch her for a week?”

“No? I mean surely, she had the others to hang out with. Right?” Wanda said.

“Jarvis?” Nat called to the ceiling.

“Yes, Ms Romanoff what can I do for you?” The AI responded.

“Who in the past week has cancelled plans with Y/n?” Nat asked.

“In the past week I believe each of the avengers have been either ‘too busy’ or had ‘other plans’ to spend time with Ms L/n.” Jarvis said.

“Oh god.” Wanda said. “Jarvis? What has Y/n been doing this past week?”

“Ms L/n has spent most of her time in her room. Either sleeping or crying. She also has been avoiding everyone for the last half of the week.” Jarvis said and Wanda and Natasha’s hearts broke.

“We are the worst girlfriends ever.” Wanda said feeling awful.

“We should go check on her.” Nat agreed and the two of them headed for the lift.

When they stood outside your bedroom door Natasha hesitated for a second.

“What if she doesn’t want to see us?” Nat asked.

“Im sure she will, it’s Y/n. She may be sad but her hearts still twenty-four carat.” Wanda said and Nat nodded and knocked.

When no response came, she gently opened the door. Making out a Y/n shaped lump in the bed she entered and quietly walked over to your side.

Wanda took note of the chocolate wrappers on your bedside table and the hot water bottle you had cuddled up to.

You had seemingly used your powers to heat up the water-bottle and your brow was creased in pain.

“Nat?” Wanda said and Natasha nodded.

“I see.” She said.

Wanda sighed and slipped into bed behind you. Gently playing with your hair as Nat went to search for some pain medicine for you, knowing that you wouldn’t have taken any yet.

Wanda rubbed slow circles on your back and brushed a hand onto your cheek.

“Y/n baby, can you open your eyes for me my love?” Wanda asked softy. You let out a small whimper and Wanda’s heart melted.

“Wands?” You asked in a small voice.

“Yes, baby its me.” She said pressing a featherlight kiss to your cheekbone.

“Hurts.” You said softly and she nodded.

“Natty’s gone to get you some medicine.” Wanda said just as Natasha walked back in with some pills and a glass of water.

“Here you go my sweet girl.” Nat said as wanda helped sit you up, leaning into her side.

Nat passed you the medicine and you took it without protest, telling both girls just how bad you were really feeling.

“I’m sorry we weren’t here my love.” Nat said brushing a curl from your cheek.

“That’s ok. You had important things to do.” You mumbled into Wanda’s chest where you had buried your face.

“Baby girl, nothings more important than you.” Wanda said stroking your hair.

“Why don’t we put on a movie, and you can try and get some sleep ok?” Nat said gently and you nodded, shuffling over to make room for her on the bed.

Wanda used her magic to open the small mini fridge in the room and floated a pint of your favourite icecream and three spoons over.

“I got this for you before I left my love.” Wanda said with a smile passing you a spoon.

Natasha slipped in beside you and Wanda, passing you the remote you put on an episode of Parks and Recreation as you began to eat some icecream and cuddle.

After a few spoonfuls Nat stole the container, Afterall you have been making a mess. There was even icecream on your nose which wanda softly kissed away, making you giggle as you begun doze in the presence of your two amazing girlfriends.

[thatfandomslut]

No Matter What

Regine George x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Trigger Warning: insecurity

Request:

Valentine's / Follower Celebration Request; Regina George w/ quote 51 and piece of chocolate 5. Or: “In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find someone who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you.” w/ arguing

Valentine's / Follower Celebration Requests are closed.

"So, what happened?" Cady asked as she passed (Y/n) the glass of water from her counter. What is usually the time that Cady takes to tutor (Y/n) has turned into a therapy session since (Y/n) and Regina are arguing. This was a very rare occasion as they typically settled things in private but Regina brought Karen and Gretchen into it, so (Y/n) has come to Cady. Hence why there was a math book and homework, that was twenty-five percent finished, scattered on the table.

(Y/n) accepted the water gratefully, sighing as she wiped the tears streaming down her cheeks. "I told her I felt uncomfortable with her relationship with Shane Omen. I never said they couldn't be friends. I wouldn't ever tell anyone who to be friends with or they couldn't be friends with. However, she does that for me all the time. That's why I felt like I had the right to at least let her know that the way she was still friends with her ex-boyfriend, the boy she cheated on Aaron with, makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I'm just insecure, but them having a relationship worries me." (Y/n) explained, hoping she didn't sound bitter.

There was a hum that escaped Cady as she listened, nodding carefully. (Y/n) She could see that she was thinking, which made her dread that maybe she had no one on her side. "I understand your worries. I wouldn't feel comfortable either. I think it's actually very healthy to establish boundaries. I also don't think it's fair that Regina has made you unfriend people and then get mad when you express your discomfort with her and Shane." Cady sat beside her, putting a comforting hand on her arm. (Y/n) felt validated by Cady's words, happy to finally have someone who sees the disagreement from her point of view.

"I feel like it wouldn't matter if she didn't cheat on someone else with him. I don't care that she's friends with Aaron or her other exes. It's just Shane." (Y/n) told Cady, leaning back in her seat. She felt a bit embarrassed by how insecure she was, but she knew Cady wasn't judging her. "I just sometimes don't even feel good enough for Regina. Then, I find out she's hanging out with Shane Omen. What am I supposed to think? I know it's bad for me. I'm supposed to trust her. I do trust her. I'm just being insecure. I just really love her."

Cady rubbed her back softly. She understood what (Y/n) was saying. Oftentimes, she felt insecure around the girls herself. But, she knew it was a different level since she was in an actual relationship with Regina. "In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find someone who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. I honestly feel like that is the love that you and Regina have. Maybe, you two just need to sit down, and maybe you can try to be vulnerable with her like you were with me." She offered softly.

She was right, too. (Y/n) and Regina did share a love that would overcome this. (Y/n) did love Regina despite all of her moods. She loved her in the morning when her hair was messy, she loved her in the afternoon when she was at lunch looking her most confident. "You're right," (Y/n) said softly, looking at her homework. "But first, I really do need help with my homework." They shared a small fit of laughter before Cady helped her finish her work.

After tutoring, she headed to Regina, wondering what she was going to say. Admittedly, (Y/n) felt a bit nervous. She wasn't the best at confrontation. That's why she sat in her car for ten minutes. Eventually, she pried herself from the driver's seat and made her way to Regina's front door. Before (Y/n) could knock or ring the doorbell, Regina opened the door with flushed cheeks. She stared at (Y/n) for a moment before running a manicured hand through her blonde hair. "I saw you sitting in your car for a while." She confessed, looking away a bit.

There was a moment of silence between the two of them, but there was no tension. It was just a thick heaviness of nervousness in the air. "I'm sorry," the two of them said in sync before laughing softly, a bit of awkwardness lifting off their shoulders. It was nice to see their anger over their last argument has finally worn off. (Y/n) always hated when Regina was angry, and Regina always tried to make sure (Y/n) was never angry. They worked together like that, always trying to protect each other's feelings while communicating and telling the truth. Sometimes, it led to little arguments, but the Shane Omen one was one of their bigger blow-ups.

Regina led her into the house, all the way to her room. "I want you to know that I cut off Shane. I realized that you had every right to feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry for invalidating your feelings the way that I did. I hope that you'll be able to forgive me." Regina said with a soft smile. (Y/n) only saw that smile when Regina was feeling vulnerable with her. Unlike (Y/n), Regina wasn't someone who wore her heart on her sleeve. So, when she apologizes, it means she took a lot of time out of her day to consider the things that have happened.

(Y/n) sighed, noticing that Regina's hand was taken into hers still. She laced their fingers together as she got the words sorted in her mind. "I'm sorry, too. I realized that I was just jealous and insecure. I trust you, and I should've made that clear. Instead, I let my fear control me." She explained, feeling tears brim in her eyes as she began to feel embarrassed again. She grew even more embarrassed when the tears began to fall down her cheeks.

Regina wiped the tears away softly, kissing (Y/n) gently on the lips. "(Y/n), I love you. No matter what I love you. I love so much it's crazy. You were valid to feel everything that you felt. The truth is, I should've cut him off a long time ago. None of this was fair to you." She said carefully, pulling away, but letting her hands stay to rub away any stray tear that continued to cascade down her girlfriend's cheeks.

There was a soft smile that pulled at the corners of (Y/n)'s lips as she sniffed. "I love you, too, Regina. No matter what." She said softly, moving in to kiss Regina once more.

[jok13-writings]

Something About Us (Modern AU, Gyuraro x reader)

Read part 2 |. Read full work on AO3 here

Note: Hi everyone, I'm very excited to make my first post in this blog. This is supposed to be the first chapter of a series that I have in mind. Later I will continue posting them in AO3. I am new at writing and English is not my first language, so please be kind! I would like to thank all the writers in this platform, you all have inspired me to try writing myself <3 Thanks for reading and hope you all like it! (I accept any tips and suggestions, I'm still learning!)

It has been a few months since you started your first year at University. This new chapter in your life was exciting, and you managed to get to know a lot of new and different people. With your easy going and friendly personality, you became popular really fast. People adored you, always getting praised by your looks and sweet personality, and you couldn’t help but love the validation. You always made a lot of efforts to be liked by everyone, always thinking that if you treated others with kindness, the same would be returned to you. But there was one particular person that seemed to not like you. 

He was always sitting on the back of the class, with a scrutiny gaze and a scowl in his face. Some of his wavy black hair lifted in a half bun, with some locks always covering part of his ink stained face. His clothes always black; ripped pants with silver chains attached, oversized t-shirts, and his signature combat boots. He was a loner, and people tended to avoid him due to his rude and violent reputation. Gyutaro Shabana was intimidating, to say the least. 

In fact, he seemed to despise everyone, but you, with your obsession to be liked by everyone, took it as something personal. The first day of class, you tried to introduce yourself to him with your usual friendly demeanor. He looked at you with dose cold icy blue eyes, scoffed and told you to “get lost”. You were shocked by his rudeness, and you could only stare at his back speechless, as he walked away. 

Since that day you were determinate to make him like you. In order to gain his favor, you started making small gestures such as lending him your notes, smiling at him when your gazes met or say good morning to him when you saw him in class. In some occasions, you even send him the details and requirements for assignments that had explained in class when he would not show up. Every time you made any of that gestures or tried to approach him, he would immediately shut you down or directly ignore you. It was frustrating for you, but at the same time made you feel more curious towards him. 

You started to observe him from the distance, taking note of everything about him. He was always so rude, making inadequate comments about others, and sometimes straight cruel when he got the chance. You kind of disliked him, like everybody else did, or at least that's what you thought. Despite that, you couldn’t help but felt drawn to him.

The more you observed him, the more you noticed some other things about him. He was incredibly smart, everyone thought he had bad grades, but he was actually doing pretty good without almost showing into class, and he even had a scholarship. He was also very good at sports. You found out he was part of the basketball team one day you went to see a match with your friends, and you were really surprised to see how good he was at it. But what made you change drastically your perception of him was seeing how he treated his little sister. 

On a Friday afternoon, you were in the mall with your friends, and you happened to see him sitting in an ice cream shop with his little sister. He was caressing her hair fondly while she ate an ice cream. Seeing him in such a way made your chest flutter in a strange way that you did not expect. He looked so caring towards her, and it seemed like he even went all his way out to buy her a lot of clothes, considering all the shopping bags around them. You never have seen him before in such a way, and this more tender side of him intrigued you. 

As you looked at them, you couldn’t help but wonder how would it feel to be gazed so fondly by him, as if you were something he cherished. You could feel such as a confusing feeling, close to longing, build in your chest. As you watched the scene unfold in front of you, you suddenly snapped out of it, mentally slapping yourself for having such confusing thoughts about him. 

Since then, you had found yourself thinking more about him in different ways, in ways that you never thought you would. You tried to deny those new-found feelings, and never talked about them with any of your friends. After all, what would they think if you told them that you were crushing into the obnoxious loner of the campus? And more over, how would your reputation be affected by getting involved with him? 

You kept doing those small gestures for him, but now with a different purpose. Yes, you still wanted him to like you, but now it was in a deeper level. One day, in the math class that was required to be taken by most of the majors, the teacher announced an upcoming project that had to be done in pairs. As people started to pair up, you looked over at Gyutaro and noticed that, as usual, no one seemed to want to pair up with him. Gaining all the courage you could have, you decided to approach him and ask him to be your partner. 

He was sitting in his usual spot, with a bored expression and looking through the window. You stopped in front of his desk and as he noticed your presence, he turned and just stared at you with his signature cold gaze. You gave him a soft smile as your gazes locked and started to speak. “Hey Gyutaro, sorry to bother you, but do you have a partner for the upcoming project?” 

He looked at you skeptically and grunted. “No. And why do you care?” He said with a hint of defensiveness. You stiffed a little as he said that, not used to be spoken to in such a tone. Even thought that, you keep your smile, trying to look impassive to his rudeness. “I don’t have a partner either, would you like to team up with me?” you said sweetly. 

Gyutaro, for a split of a second, seemed to look surprised, but then the hardness in his expression returned. He did not say anything for a while and crossed his arms over his chest. He seemed to be pondering your proposition. Meanwhile, on the inside you were a nervous wreck, and you could feel your heart hammering into your chest from the tension. 

“Why? Don’t you have friends or something?” He said bluntly, taking you totally off guard. You shifted on your weight, feeling a little on the spot, and tucked some strands of your hair behind your ear from the nervousness. “Yeah… but they are all already paired up, and I thought we could make a good team… you seem good at math…” You trailed off, not knowing what exactly to say to convince him. 

He stared at you for a while until he shrugged and replied with a flat tone, “Eh, I guess I'm decent at it...” as he leaned on his chair. “Fine, we can do the damn project together but don’t expect me to carry it” he concluded and shifted his attention again to the window. 

As he said that, you let go a soft breath of air that you did not know that you were holding, feeling relieved. “Good, I’ll send you the details latter, and we can see when we meet up to get started with it”. You said and walked back to your seat with your friends. 

Seated back in your seat, you can’t help but feel really excited about spending time with him. You think this is your best opportunity to get to know him better and maybe to get him to like you a little. Your friends look at you puzzled and ask you why did you decide to team up with him, of all people. You just responded that you felt bad for him since he did not have a partner for the project, masking your real purposes. As usual, they praised you for being such a good person and told you to be careful around him. 

Meanwhile, Gyutaro was watching you from the back of the class, seeming curious about you and the interaction you two just had. Maybe this would be the beginning of something between you two.

[rubra-wav]

YES YAY YAY YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN AGAIN

There was a post a while a back you did where it was a toriel like reader and you mentioned Lucifer becoming your ‘adopted husband’.

PLEASE WRITE ONE ABOUT THAT - aGOUNG FROM PLATONIC TO ROMANTIC WOULD BE AMAZING (or platonic is just fine but I WOULD LOVE ANY VERSION OF THIS SM)

Fem reader I’d love but also I don’t mind if it’s gn reader just. THE CONCEPT OF HIM BECOMING ADOPTED HUSBAND FO SOMEONE SUPER CARETAKING OR LIKE TORIEL IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA

Lucifer x reader - 'Adopted husband'

<< [ Part 1 ]

A/N Plsssss I'm so happy you were so excited for this to be written anon hsjsjdjsj

Cw: SFW, gn!reader, platonic to romantic, hurt/comfort - fluff ensues after depressing stuff, mutually awkward confession, suggestive type territory at one point

- You handle his daughter behind the counter of the kitchen with such care as you put the finishing touches on the baked goods you are bringing out, all the while animatedly talking about things he doesn't know of or understand.

- You, someone who is not even her parent, is acting all so maternal and close to his daughter.

- The gaping hole in his heart aches at the sight.

- He's filled with jealousy and despair that he allowed his daughter to drift so far away from him that she'd had the time to attach to someone else to fill what assuredly existed to Charlie about him and her mother as well.

- But he can't even bring himself to be angry at you.

- You greet him kindly and oh-so warmly. Unlike Alastor, it's clear that you truly care for his daughter like a parent. There doesn't seem to be a bad intentioned bone in your body about his daughter's attachment to you.

- The whole exchange he feels all too distant. Feels like he's just intruding on you and Charlie - an outsider to his own daughter.

- He says goodbye after a cordial afternoon tea, but as he goes to leave he finds himself stopped by you.

- He's snapped out of his depressing reverie as you looked him in the eyes very seriously, hand gently holding his arm.

- "I want to say, I'm not trying to steal her away from you," you preface before your brow furrows. "From what she's told me, you weren't okay either after Lilith left. You weren't okay for a while."

- Lucifer opens his mouth to speak as a conflicting mixture of embarrassment and feeling truly seen for the first time in thousands of years well up in him, but he stops and goes bright red as you pull him into a tight hug.

- His heart goes crazy in his chest, and he fights but can't stop the way tears well up in his eyes. He crumples against you and rests his head on your shoulder.

- Thank God it was a less popular hallway to travel down where you two had some privacy because crying against the stranger who had become a caretaker to his daughter would be a lot even for him.

- After a couple of seconds, you pull back much to his disappointment and tell him with a sympathetic but also stern expression that you wanted him to play more of a real role in Charlie's life alongside you, and that you'd be willing to help him through what he was dealing with in the process.

- And well, he of course agreed.

- It really did not take long at all for him to fall in love with you. It wasn't a slow process.

- He watched how you bridged the gap between him and Charlie, caring for her like Lilith should have and also caring for him like Lilith should have and was stumbling head over heels almost instantly.

- In the days spent with you, he basked in your platonic care of him, gentle encouragement, validation, and helping him take care of himself better where he'd ignored it.

- In the nights, though, he stayed up at night sleeplessly, heart longing desperately for more with you. Thinking about what it would be like to kiss you, what it would be like to cuddle up to you with no sense of it just being in a friendly way, and above all; if you felt the same way.

- He had it bad, and he was terrified.

- His past history of love didn't exactly end well. He fell head first hard, and then they turned out bad in the end. Left him all alone and beaten down.

- This of course changed, however.

- You had proposed a picnic with him and Charlie in a place that was relatively untouched by hell's disgusting burning flesh stench and pollution in the middle of a field.

- The sun had shone brightly on you as you sat on a red checkered rug, not too hot but not cold either.

- At one point, Charlie ran after a group of butterflies with patterns she had never seen before.

- You two were left alone to leisurely munch on buttery biscuits as playful banter was exchanged.

- You laced your fingers together in your lap as you smiled softly at him. Lucifer animatedly discussed something he was trying to make to help demons become more redeemable to push them towards the hotel.

- You normally would just have listened, nodding along, but something slipped out impulsively instead. "You're so cute."

- Lucifer choked on his words, already rosy cheeks darkening further. "I-" Lucifer stuttered.

- He watched you fumble over your words, mutually embarrassed and shocked at what you had blurted out. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me-"

- "I think you are too!" Lucifer exclaimed.

- You felt yourself somewhat awkwardly go quiet. You'd come to admire him as he had you, but you didn't wish to push further just in case it really was just him wanting someone like a spouse.

- "I like you a lot (name). And I uh- I have for a long time. I want you to be closer to you-" Lucifer fumbled over his words, adrenaline making his brain stupid.

- "Would you marry me?" He choked awkwardly, panicking.

- You snickered in disbelief, putting a hand over your mouth to keep from openly laughing.

- "Wait, no- that's not - would you be my actual spouse- wait, uh, that's not right either-" Lucifer was just getting more and more flustered, various iterations of marriage requests tumbling from his mouth like word vomit as he grew more embarrassed.

- It came to an abrupt end, however, as you pressed your lips to his gently, closing the space between you.

- Lucifer's hands flew up to your shoulders as if to tether himself as his mind went fully blank as your lips softly moved against his, prompting his heart rate to absolutely sky-rocket.

- You slowly pulled back from him, noticing that he wasn't reciprocating at all and feared you'd made an error in kissing him.

- Your instinct to apologise was stopped short however, as you noticed he had the most pathetic, lovesick expression on his face possible.

- "Please." He whispered, eyes half lidded and red eyes blown out massively.

- You didn't need a second longer to fulfil that request as you pressed your lips against his with a soft giggle, tumbling backwards onto the picnic rug as his arms wrapped around your shoulders to squeeze you closer to him.

- The kiss was slow and deeply passionate despite how gentle it was.

- Lucifer sighed into your mouth as he attempted to deepen the kiss, tongue running over your bottom lip.

- You didn't reciprocate, however, as you watched Charlie come back from the corner of your eye, looking at you two with absolute beaming glee.

- Your hand moved to grip his arm slightly to try to alert him to stop trying to take it further, but that proved the wrong move as he gasped slightly and his wings quickly unfurled from his back.

- You pushed him off before he could misread your body language anymore, him looking somewhat disappointed, but then let out a shocked "Oh!" As he quickly scrambled up off of you at the sight of his gawking daughter watching.

- You looked at him with an arched brow, somewhat amused at his sudden dilemma.

- Thankfully, Charlie didn't pick up on where the exchange was going for her father.

- "Finally! I've been waiting for so long!" She cried happily, clapping her hands together.

- Lucifer awkwardly recovered, face practically burning in embarrassment as he fought to compose him and bring his wings back into his back with a cough.

- Charlie excitedly exclaimed about how long she'd been waiting for the two of you to finally become not just friends as the both of you went to start packing up the picnic stuff while barely making eye contact outside of stealing shy glances at one-another.

- It was very evident that both of you felt the same about each other, and it really was hard to deny the perfection a relationship would be with Lucifer and yourself.

- You really were like a missing parent to his daughter, and you were like a missing lover to Lucifer - yet so much more than just filling up the place Lilith left.

- You weren't a replacement. You were the one. He was sure of it this time.

- And yeah, sometime down the line, he would marry you.

I was sweating trying not to make Undertale references throughout this (I had to stop myself from pulling a 'it filled him with determination' so bad lmfao)

[notafragilething]

Late Night Buck & Tommy Rambling: I'm Talking about Ryan

This is going to be a slightly different ramble than normal because I'm going to start this (and focus) on the Ryan clip that came out this afternoon. Trigger warning for vague discussions of someone making an attempt at unaliving.

This afternoon Tommy DiDario shared a clip from his interview with Ryan where he is extremely brave, honest and vulnerable and discusses his mental health crisis. In it Ryan shares that he made an attempt on his own life and how that has impacted his life and his views. I'm paraphrasing but he basically discusses how men need to let go of toxic masculinity and be able to lean on their brothers/friends for support. And if they're not able to be there to support you then go find ones that are.

This adds so much context to why he keeps talking about and emphasizing the importance of current storyline with Eddie and Buck. That he wants to show two men who are able to be friends and vulnerable and lean on each other. Because this is something that is very important and personal for him because of what he went through and how bad it got for him.

I know there is a lot of discussions about BuckTommy and Buddie and which one should be happening. Everyone has strong feelings on but I think everyone needs to step back and remember that Buck, Tommy, and Eddie aren't real. They're fictional. Oliver, Lou, and Ryan are real people. I've seen people using Ryan's interviews to suggest he's pushing this platonic storyline because he's homophobic, I've seen people being really dismissive of what he wants and saying making his character queer could be so much more important and impactful. And I think we need to stop with that type of language and discussion moving forward.

I'm not saying you have to get behind and support the storyline he vocally wants. We're all allowed to have our own opinions on what we want to happen with these characters. But we can be more respectful, more understanding and more validating when we discuss them. Especially now that we have this huge piece of context to why he feels this way that we've been missing. Because this is something personal for him and I do not want him to come across people invalidating that or downplaying it's importance. He doesn't deserve that after being so honest and open with us in an attempt to help others.

Other than that, we didn't really get any other updates on what is happening with this week's 911. I think they're likely saving most of the promotions for next week to hype up the finale.

We will be getting the full podcast tomorrow with Ryan and I encourage everyone to go support him. So I'll likely discuss that tomorrow along with giving any other updates that I come across and numbers on the BuckTommy reel.

[hazz-a-bear]

SIX MISSED CALLS, wen junhui

♡⸝⸝ when jun's voice comes out in a mess of sharp words and harsh comments, you know there's something more to it than the underlying frustration

.ᐟ angst. hurt/comfort. mention of anxiety. mention of panic attacks. unsafe driving.

a/n - i'm so sorry i keep writing sad boy jun ( i can't help it he's so :(( ) please leave some feedback, I appreciate it so much! ALSO, SHOULD I WRITE A PART II FOR THIS?

masterlist | taglist

Six missed calls.

That's the number of times you picked up your phone, pressed on Junhui's contact and put the phone up to your ear - waiting, hoping you'll finally hear his voice answer from the other side. You haven't been lucky yet. All your calls go straight to the voice messages before the line goes silent with a beep.

You stare at your phone, Junhui's contact staring right back at you in silence. Something heavy settles in your stomach in the form of dread.

Jun has a habit - a very unwholesome habit of abandoning his phone, cutting off contact with almost everyone and going radio silent whenever his life gets a little too wild. Over the time he had done it, you recognized it to be a form of escape for Jun. It was his way of a silent cry when things got too tense in his head.

It had been long since you adjusted to the rapid pace of Junhui's life. It was rough at first, trying to decipher how he could still hold his head up when his days consisted of a tiring routine of practice, rehearsals, schedules and all kinds of busyness. And in the midst of it all, Jun has never been the one to seek out whenever his emotions took the best of him. He would rather turn his back on everyone, and hide himself in a shell till he was discovered. It hadn't been easy for you to adapt to his life and his habits completely without constantly worrying about Junhui and his well-being. And Junhui got it.

It wasn't hard for him to understand where you came from. You practically carved out his heart from his chest and carried it in your palm after all. He decoded how it was valid for you to be concerned whenever his emotions soared and got too lost in his head. So, he had always made sure to warn you beforehand.

The last two weeks have been busy for both of you. The comeback was nearing the group at a rapid pace, and their days were packed from dawn to dusk with all kinds of preparations ahead. Jun was stressed - all of them were. A mix of anticipation and excitement runs through their veins in adrenaline whenever there's a comeback around the corner, and this time, you know that it isn't any different.

You had been busy as well, stuck to the neck under a pile of workload on top of you.

But still, you managed to squeeze a visit to Jun's during a rare off in the afternoon four days ago. You showed up at his place with a bag of take-out, hoping to forget all about your work stress and spend some time together.

Jun welcomed you with a tight hug and multiple presses of his lips against yours, equally as delighted for the chance to take a break and just sit on his living room carpet with his head tucked into your neck. At first, you thought he hugged you a little tighter than usual and his eyes were darker than most days. But as time passed, he had looked relaxed, with no signs of any distress on his mind.

Jun hadn't said anything about the lack of contact you're being subjected to right now.

Being a foreigner to the life Junhui has been accustomed to since a very young age, you never felt like you were in the place to counsel him. Though Junhui has never made you feel like you were any less than he was, it felt wrong to try and take away his forms of escape, even though it wasn't a very healthy way of doing so.

And truthfully, if you thought about it, you've never really had to. He had never given you a reason to worry to that much of an extent about him. It never actually reached a point where you've had to wait through six missed calls and a heart beating rapidly against your chest in unease.

Until, of course, right now.

You can't help the heavy feeling that sits low in your gut at how you haven't heard from your boyfriend in almost four days. At first, you concluded he was just busy, too tired to check his phone after returning from being in practice all day. By the third day, you assumed he must be feeling down, drained out of all his emotional and physical energy. Just enough for him to ignore all six of the good morning and good night texts you've sent to him for the past three days.

But today, your heart was really beating in anxiety. All kinds of thoughts from 'Is he okay?' to 'I need to get to him' whirring around every corner of his mind.

Deciding to just say fuck it and go for it, you press on his contact for the seventh time that day, watching the phone flash with another call to Jun. It's almost the time you have to sign off from work, so you start packing up your bag as the phone sits on your desk, still ringing.

A pause - and the room is drowned in silence.

"yn"

You almost drop the papers that you hold in your hands when Junhui's voice echoes through the speaker. Quickly putting them down by your bag, you scramble towards the phone before clutching it close to your ear. You almost feel the way your blood warms up a little after having turned to icy water a little while ago.

"Jun? oh gosh, I was s-"

"You called me seven times, yn"

It's the tone of his voice that has you halting in your step. A blunt sentence, very much spoken with a hint of bite and irritation. And the first thought that comes to your head is - something's not right

There had been only a handful of instances when Jun and you got into arguments that directed to sharp words being thrown at each other. Junhui is a very delicate person who's equally as competent, preferring to sit down and talk any disputes out and sort them out instead of picking a fight.

You're someone who hated conflict, willing to settle everything down through a talk before maybe moving on to a heavier argument. Junhui, even more so than you, never uses such a snappy tone to talk to anyone no matter how upset he is. Especially, to you.

"Yeah, yeah I did" You start explaining yourself in a staggered voice. "You weren't replying to me, Jun. I was just-"

"Yn, god. I was busy, okay? Fuck, You know that" That's the moment your suspicions are undirectly confirmed to be true.

The feeling that - something's really wrong - settles deep in your heart.

If there was something two years of loving had engraved into your bones, it's the fact that Jun and you knew each other like the back of your hands. From the way you remembered Jun's order from the nearby Thai place to the way Jun knew the look you gave him whenever you were hungry - knowing each other inside and out was something you took pride in. Almost everyone close to the both of you saw how well you could read each other without even a word being said. Your friends publicly envied the two of you for the way you understood the other with just a flick of a finger or a blink of an eye.

So it isn't hard for you to immediately pick up on the unfamiliar lilt of his voice. His words thrash against each other like it does whenever he's frustrated, annoyance seeping out of every syllable he speaks. From the other side of the phone, you're already grabbing your bag and throwing it over your shoulder as you listen to him continue to snarl at you.

"Jun" You try to intervene yet Jun successfully manages to speak right over you, voice still harsh as ever.

"What I'm saying is, you don't have to blow up my fucking phone, yn, god"

"Junnie" You almost plead into the phone, heading out of your workplace with your steps quickly. "I was just scared, okay? I tried to reach out but you wouldn't reply to me. I was so worried, Jun. I even called Minghao to-"

"Yn, what the fuck?" You're stunned into silence as you listen to the words Jun spat. "Why did you- wait, why did you call Minghao? God, yn, what the actual- shit, why are you so pressed at all? It's not like I fucking fell off the face of the earth"

Phone pressed to the ear, fingers gripping the straps of your bag, you stood. Your car was parked only a couple of meters away, almost in your peripheral vision. Yet, you were unable to take another step forward at all - too shocked to even move.

"Jun, don't-"

"I was just busy. You know how it is these days. Just because I don't answer once or twice doesn't mean I'm dead, yn You don't have to blow up my fucking phone. Do you kn-"

"Wen Junhui"

And immediately the boy on the other side is silent. The only thing you hear for a couple of seconds is the familiar sound of his breathing, heavy and ragged like it is whenever he's worked up.

"You're asking me why I'm so pressed, Junhui?" You take a deep breath as you start, eyes closing for a second to regain your composure. "You went silent on me for four days - four days, Jun. I was so fucking scared, do you know how hard it was to not drop everything all at once and come to you? I assumed you were busy or you needed space. So I gave you space."

"I know you, Jun. I know when you're spiralling and trying to distance yourself from everyone. I was so- Fuck, Jun. I love you. I love you so much, it hurts me when I know you're not okay. I want nothing more than to help you but you make it so hard for me to take care of you sometimes. So please, stop screaming at me for caring too much, Jun. I'm sorry- I'm sorry for bothering you but I refuse to stay silent and just watch you breaking by yourself"

You're slamming your car door when you finish. The line is silent in your phone, everything seemingly still around both of you. But it only takes three seconds for it to be broken by Jun, a harsh sob ripping out of his throat loud against your ear. In an instant, the engine of your car revives to life while your mind screams jun, jun, jun.

"yn"

"I'm coming to you, darling. Hold on a little for me, okay?" Jun stays on the phone as you almost soar along the roads, paying very little mind to traffic signals and probably breaking almost every driving rule. His voice comes from the phone in sobs, sounding so so broken it makes you want to jump out of the car yourself. As you glide down the road, you can just be thankful for the way you've trusted your gut and believed he wasn't doing okay as soon as he started talking earlier.

"Yn, come, please- please, yn. I ne- I need you. I feel so bad. I've been feeling bad and- just, come, please"

Your heart soared at his voice, pleading with just enough tears to have you speeding down the drive to his place.

"I'm on my way, sweetheart. I'm on my way. I love you so much, Jun. God, I love you"

Knowing Jun so well came with the practice of recognizing his moods. Aside from being a ball of sunshine most of the time, there have been more than enough times when he had delved into long periods of anxiety, spiralling and spiralling until he was nothing but a sobbing mess of emotions by the end of the night. You've experienced your fair share of Jun panicking, eyes welled up with tears and voice stammering as he screamed at you to leave him alone. Experiencing someone having a panic attack in front of you was alarming enough on its own. But whenever it took ahold of Jun- your sweet little lifeline- it broke you in so many than one.

After having held him through multiple, whispering love in his ears until he calmed down in your alms - you were quite accustomed to what you needed to do whenever he was panicking. So, as much as your heart was beating in dread, eyes welling up with your own tears and hands clammy against the steering wheel, you made it your mission to get to Jun as soon as possible.

The thought of Jun being by himself for the last few days made you want to scream - if only he had told you, you could've stayed close to him. You couldn't help but wince at the thought of Jun having no one to take care of him and you being unaware of how much he had needed some company, some help and some love.

Right now, as you step on the accelerator, there's only one thing on your mind. Junhui. You need to get to him and you need to get to him fast before he dives too deep headfirst into a pit of anxiety. Now that you know he was shutting himself out from the world, distancing himself from you for days and snapping at you since he was stuck in a state of haziness, you want nothing more than to scoop him into your arms as soon as possible.

Junhui is your love, your life, your everything. And you would rather slit your throat, bury yourself alive, walk through the fiery pits of hell and do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant the universe became kinder to him. Only the deepest edges of your heart know how you're willing to move any mountains and drain every ocean if it meant Junhui's pain would be taken away.

But for now, it's enough if you stick to six missed calls and thirty broken road rules.

thank you.