#Fast Car Insurance
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petewentzisblack1312 · 9 months ago
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hi my name is dils, im a black multiply neurodivergent and mentally ill disabled butch lesbian from the caribbean island of st lucia. i dont want to really sing a sad song for my supper and divulge all the reasons why im asking but my family and i need help right now so id appreciate some assistance.
paypal @ dilsdoes or dilsdoes(@)gmail(.)com (parentheses to avoid spam)
i dont have venmo or cashapp because im not american sorry
you can also buy something from my shop or sub to my ko-fi if you'd like something in return or like my work. in the future i plan on offering animated pixel art favicons and allowing ko-fi subscribers to suggest, sponsor or commission them, and also pixel art wallpapers for phones and pc. ko-fi subscribers will also be able to suggest what i do for those too.
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thissying · 1 year ago
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if 2026 regulations are a deciding factor in Max's future in F1, GP China, 2024
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valoale · 1 year ago
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Wish me luck today I’ve got a photography gig for the longest time and of course it’s an outdoor location and of course it’s -15 degrees Celsius outside and on top of that I need to drive over 100km and the roads are icy as fuck and I still have the shitty winter tyres I’ve been bitching about for weeks lmao
Let’s see how I’ll survive, running on faith at this point
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milo-is-rambling · 5 months ago
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Need someone rich to decide they want to give me like a thousand dollars to completely change my life
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sanchoyo · 1 year ago
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u guys remember how I said I wanted to try and get a car this year as one of my resolutions… after months of researching I think I found the one I want. Finally. I am so sick of reading abt and looking at cars 😭
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website-com · 10 months ago
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i think i purchase exactly 1% of the things advertised to me ever. i wish they could collect this data and then leave me alone
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dykegeology · 2 years ago
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Strange and objectively very funny thing about anxiety disorders is the complete lack proportion about what things make you Scared™. In the middle of a car crash like '🧘‍♂️ oh interesting. so that's what airbags look like 😌. I better find somewhere good to pull over. hopefully the car continues functioning until I get to somewhere out of the way of other vehicles 🧘‍♂️' meanwhile 2 days earlier one of my housemates used a stirring spoon I had just used and was like 'FUCK. WHAT IF I DIDN'T WASH IT PROPERLY. WHAT IF I GOT LYSSAVIRUS (australian rabies) FROM THE BATS AND I LEFT LYSSAVIRUS GERMS ON THE STIRRING SPOON. I PROBABLY DID THAT!! *endocrine system makes it so I can't breathe* OH MY GOD I HAVE JUST KILLED MY HOUSEMATES PROBABLY. I AM THE TYPHOID MARY OF RABIES.'
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chazkuangshi · 4 months ago
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I think there's something to be said that saying the words "Deny, Defend, Depose, you're next" to an insurance sales rep can get you arrested for 'threats of mass homicide' or whatever with a threat of 15 years in prison
But when I was a manager in a fast food restaurant I've had customers throw food at me, demand for my personal phone number with an added threat of "Well I'll just have to FIND it", customers charging past the front counter to physically intimidate me and my coworkers, screaming and swearing, demands to know what time I get out of work, demands to know when my manager would be at work as a threat, people sitting in their car waiting for me to finish closing because they were angry at me, causing me to stay in the office watching the camera waiting for them to drive away...
But none of those incidents are arrest-able offenses, not one, any time I called the cops on any customer I would just hear excuses like " "there isn't anything illegal about calling a restaurant", that nothing physical happened and therefore there's nothing they could do, to call back and let them know if anything else happens
Idk, just think it's A TEENY TINY BIT ODD
Cop in the news goes "words have consequences" as if people don't berate and threaten fast food and retail workers every day
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lewishamsmash · 2 months ago
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Custom Panel Beaters Sydney - Lewisham Smash Repairs
Looking for expert panel beaters in Sydney? We've compiled a list of the best, ensuring your car gets back in shape. https://lewishamsmashrepairs.com.au/service/car-insurance/
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skisexyvrrri · 1 year ago
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Selling this beautiful 2016 Toyota Camry • LE Sedan 4D for $4000
This vehicle has no significant damage or problems. Clean title .
VIN: 4T4BF1FK2GR547605.
Bluetooth, backup camera, 4-cyl, 2.5 liter, abs, am/fm stereo, air conditioning, alarm, auto, 6-spd seqshft, mp3, cruise control. Down Payment $500-$1000 and there’s going to be a contract for weekly payments. Weekly Payments $150.
Serious buyer only 👌.
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situasi-id · 1 year ago
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The Mazda CX-5 provides a seamless blend of agile handling and smooth acceleration. Its optional turbo engine and standard i-Activ AWD are designed to energize every drive.
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bladeofthestars · 1 year ago
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#currently having one of those shits you have to get naked for#curled over the toilet and yelling as quietly as possible#hopefully whatever this is is out of my system before i have to go to lessons tomorrow#would hate to have to call off#i've been pretty consistent about my practice and would like to actually get good at it#also excited to go out for a latte tomorrow and put the lavender flowers i just bought in it. they smell super pungent so should be good#would also like to write or draw sometime soon#have mostly just been playing videogames with my SO when they're home and various homemaking stuff or piano practice when they're not#we desperately need to move out of here which means i need a job which aaaaaaa#i have desperately fucking needed this break after how that place was treating me#hoping to get a work from home job again to make moving easier#also would like to not burn through my entire savings but ey whaddaya gonna do sometimes ya know?#between med bills student loans keeping gas in my car groceries car insurance and whatever the fuck else life throws my way#my decently sized savings will likely dwindle fast#my partner is currently covering my car insurance but like. i pay significantly more than that amount for our shared groceries#maybe double or triple the monthly cost of my car insurance#and they have like 0 bills except the amount taken out paycheckly to have health insurance#hate ever even suggesting to take up more of the load tho#just awkward to talk about#in any event#here's to hoping for a decent wfh job. it's much easier to take care of the home and myself with wfh.
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madigoround · 1 year ago
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I’m literally just venting below to get it out of my head feel free to ignore
#my great aunt who was previously diagnosed with leukemia like three weeks ago was emergency intubated today and is on 100% oxygen#and yesterday my grandma had told her that she needed to spend a few days back home to rest because she had been at my great aunts bedside#for the last two weeks straight and my great aunt was guilting her super hard about taking some time to rest and come back to va#so yesterday I was really angry at my great aunt because my grandma got off the phone with my great aunt and was just sobbing for like an#hour and wouldn’t accept that none of this is her fault and she shouldn’t feel guilty#and my grandma was saying how we’re going to make a schedule so that everyone has a turn to go down there so she’s not alone#and i was trying to think about how I was going to go down there and be supportive even though I’m really angry at her for guilting my#grandma for not being there every second of the day when my grandma has HER OWN cancer that my great aunt has never once tried to care for#her because of and then this morning (literally during my first Pap smear by the way lol) I start getting a crap ton of texts#that my great aunt was emergency intubated and her lungs are like entirely being operated by the ventilator and I feel bad cause for a#minute I was relieved because my grandma said she’s completely sedated and won’t know if anyone is there or not so she was going to take a#few days to rest and wasn’t going to rush down there#and then a few minutes later she got off the phone with my great aunts doctor and he was saying she’s in critical#condition and that they’re doing a scope test to see how it went bad so fast and that they think with chemo over the last few days that they#may have gotten rid of the leukemia but that her lungs are filling up with some sort of fluid and won’t operate on their own#and on top of that yesterday my uncle (separate from my great aunt) was driving drunk on his way to work (at 4 am) and got sideswiped by a#truck who then drove away and my uncle refuses to call the police or the insurance because he had a ton of open alcohol in the car and#wouldn’t pass a breathylizer and his car needed to be towed and he had some sort of midlife crisis and bought said 45000 dollar truck#earlier in the year could he pay for that? no he couldn’t so he borrowed some from his retirement to help make the payments#and now my aunt (grandmas daughter) is struggling because of this and they’re going through a real hard time financially#and all of this is very stressful on my grandma and I can’t do anything to help I keep calling people asking if they need anything if theyre#alright and I have absolutely no idea how I’m feeling I feel like I’ve spun that children’s feelings wheel and the arrow has landed on half#the board somehow lol#I’m scared that my great aunt is going to die and I’m angry at her for telling my grandmother she made it worse by leaving and I feel guilty#for being angry at someone who might be dying and I feel guilty because I am sick of this being on egg shells what’s going to happen next#and I’m scared for my grandma who has her own health issues and is making the trip back to Florida to go be with my great aunt and won’t be#back for three weeks and I can’t protect anyone#I don’t know what I’m supposed to do
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loveframe · 1 year ago
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When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible – cowards and fools. 
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striders · 6 days ago
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help needed
we got the news this past week that courtney’s dad has been diagnosed with late stage cancer in several parts of his body, and his prognosis isn’t looking good. things are progressing very fast.
courtney hasn’t been able to see him in ten years because travel of that distance is out of our budget and we’re living paycheck to paycheck with credit card debt, but this is the man who raised her as a single-father, and we need help so that she can go be with him before it’s too late.
we’re asking for help raising enough money to get to kansas within the next two weeks. anything extra would go towards his eventual funeral expenses, as he does not have any form of life insurance, retirement, or money himself. he lives far below the poverty line.
please know that we never want anyone to feel obligated to help; we just can’t do this alone and we we are asking humbly for help if you can afford to and want to give it! if you don’t want to then by all means carry on please, if you do want then thank you so so much
our goal is to be able to rent a car for 3 days and pay for the gas in that car, as well as help her dad with anything he might need when we get up there - advice is welcome, as both of us have little experience in these departments
ca$happ: $ cpmost
p@ypal link
vm: @ cpmost
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orangeblossomsintheair · 3 months ago
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HONEY YOU’RE FAMILIAR | MV33
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summary : For a second, he thinks about turning around. Walking out. Pretending he never saw you, because what’s the point? It’s not like he can just waltz up to you and say, “Hey, sorry I ghosted you for no reason other than I’m emotionally constipated. Want to get a drink?”
wc : 5k
an : writing this to distract myself from my other wips? ..i would never.. 😦 also i wrote this at 12 am so let this not be a place of judgement :))
Max sometimes forgets how small Monaco is.
It’s easy to do when most of his memories of the place are a blur of fast cars and glittering parties. He spends most of his time racing through the streets during the Grand Prix or holed up in a hotel room overlooking the harbor.
When you’re constantly traveling the world, hopping between paddocks and podiums, the compactness of Monaco barely registers. It’s a speck on the map, a gilded bubble he never really bothers to think about until it’s right in his face.
But sometimes, like tonight, he’s reminded.
Monaco isn’t a city, not really.
It’s a playground. A handful of streets strung together like a necklace, choked with Lamborghinis, Rolls-Royces, and yachts so big they could be small countries. It’s a place where everyone knows everyone.
Or, at the very least, they know of everyone.
The millionaires gossip about the billionaires. The bartenders know who tips in cash and who never tips at all. Even the stray cats probably have dirt on the local royals.
It’s not just small in size. It’s tight.
Wealth wraps around this place like a noose, strangling it into exclusivity.
There are no dark corners to disappear into, no sprawling suburbs to lose yourself in.
Just a few restaurants, a few clubs, and a few streets where the same people circle each other like they’re on a carousel. If you’re here long enough, you’ll eventually run into everyone you’ve ever met.
Even the ones you’ve been trying to avoid.
Max doesn’t think about that when he walks into the bar.
He’s not in the mood for deep reflection or existential dread. He’s here because Daniel said he needed a drink, and when Daniel Ricciardo says you need a drink, you listen.
That’s how Max ends up at some overpriced lounge that smells like vodka and ambition, standing under soft, warm lighting that’s trying too hard to make the place feel classy instead of claustrophobic.
He’s nursing a beer, half-listening to Daniel tell some convoluted story about a failed date and a stolen Vespa, when he hears it.
A voice.
Your voice.
It’s the kind of thing that cuts through the noise without him even realizing why. It’s not loud or particularly distinct; it’s not like you’re screaming or making a scene. But it’s you. The way you talk, your cadence, the rise and fall of your words. It’s all so achingly familiar that it grabs him by the throat and yanks.
Max freezes. His drink doesn’t make it to his lips.
The years fall away in a blink, and suddenly, it’s like no time has passed.
He’s twenty-two again, still figuring out how to smile for cameras, while you’re draped over the back of his couch, talking absolute nonsense about whether or not the cars in Cars have insurance or not.
He doesn’t even realize he’s turned to look until he spots you.
You’re standing at the bar, laughing as you say something to the bartender. It’s loud, and Max can’t hear you properly, but he can feel you.
The way you lean casually on the counter, the tilt of your head, the way you wave your hand to punctuate whatever you’re saying. It’s so painfully, annoyingly you.
And God, you look good.
For a second, all he can do is stare. You haven’t seen him yet, thank God, because Max Verstappen does not know what the hell to do with himself right now.
You look different.
Not in a drastic way, just… grown.
Your edges are sharper, your presence more refined, like a photo that’s come into focus after years of being a little blurry. But the core of you is still the same. It’s in the way you throw your head back when you laugh, like the world isn’t slowly crumbling under the weight of climate change, billionaires, and whatever Kardashian family drama is brewing this week.
And suddenly, Max is thrown back years.
To a time when you were his person. The one he called when things went sideways, or when he won, or when he was just bored and needed someone to hear him rant about understeer.
You were his best friend.
No. The friend. The one. The only one who ever really got him. And then…Well, then he was an asshole.
He tries to tell himself that you two drifted apart.
People do that, right? It’s life. Except that’s a lie, and Max knows it. You didn’t drift; you held on like a freaking tow hook. You tried—texted him, called him, showed up to races, tried to remind him there was a world outside of 300 km/h and tire degradation.
Max doesn’t know what to do with this. With you. He’s not used to seeing ghosts in real life, and you might as well be one now.
Max debates his next move. He could just… not. Pretend he didn’t notice you. Slip out quietly, finish his drink somewhere else, and avoid whatever emotional grenade this is about to be. That would be the smart thing. The logical thing.
But Max has never been great at logic.
For a second, he thinks about turning around. Walking out. Pretending he never saw you, because what’s the point? It’s not like he can just waltz up to you and say, “Hey, sorry I ghosted you for no reason other than I’m emotionally constipated. Want to get a drink?”
But then you glance over your shoulder.
And your eyes lock.
He doesn’t have time to decide whether to stay or bolt
You see him.
And Max realizes he’s fucked.
For a split second, he thinks you might look away, maybe pretend you didn’t see him either.
He’s not sure if he’s hoping for that or dreading it. But then your face lights up, and the look you give him isn’t what he expects.
It’s warm. Familiar. Like you’re genuinely happy to see him.
His chest tightens. Max isn’t sure what he thought he’d see. Resentment, awkwardness, indifference, maybe.
But this? This disarms him completely.
You wave, and before he knows it, his feet are moving.
“Maxy,” you say as he approaches, your voice carrying that teasing lilt that could only ever be you. It knocks the breath out of him, so familiar and effortless it almost hurts. “Long time no see.”
Max freezes for the briefest of moments, the nickname hitting him like a slap and a hug all at once. Maxy. No one’s called him that in years. Not his family. Not his team. Not anyone.
No one except you.
“Yeah, uh, long time,” he manages, scratching the back of his neck in a gesture so awkwardly familiar it almost makes you laugh. He looks like he’s 17 again, shy and unsure.
Before either of you can say more, Daniel sidles up next to him, a beer in hand and an amused eyebrow raised as he glances between the two of you. “Know her?” Daniel asks, his voice dripping with curiosity.
“He does,” you reply smoothly before Max can fumble an answer. Your smirk is playful, but there’s no bite to it, just that same easy warmth Max hasn’t felt in what feels like forever. “I used to keep this one in line. Back when he was all awkward interviews and tragic haircuts.”
Daniel barks out a laugh, glancing at Max’s meticulously styled hair. “Tragic haircuts? Wait, this-” he gestures wildly at Max’s head, like it’s some architectural masterpiece “-is the improved version?”
You’re already laughing, and it’s the kind of laugh Max hasn’t heard in years.
He groans, dragging a hand over his face, though the corners of his mouth are betraying him with a faint smile. “Don’t encourage her,” he mutters to Daniel, but his tone is far too soft to have any weight.
It’s stupid how easy this feels. How natural. Max isn’t used to easy anymore.
Daniel, bless him, is soaking it all in.
“So?” he says, giving Max a teasing nudge. “Aren’t you going to introduce me, or do I have to guess?”
“I was getting there,” Max grumbles, shooting him a half-hearted glare before looking at you. For a moment, he falters. He doesn’t know what to call you. Acquaintance feels too cold. Stranger would be a lie. And friend? That feels like stepping too far into a past he’s not sure he’s ready to face.
“An old friend,” you offer, saving him effortlessly, like you always did. “And you must be the famous Daniel Ricciardo.”
Daniel grins, full of boyish charm. “Guilty as charged,” he says, tipping his beer in a mock toast. “And let me just say, I already like you. Great taste in insults.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere, Ricciardo,” you say, though your smirk says otherwise.
The three of you fall into an almost absurdly natural rhythm, as though you’ve all been doing this for years. Daniel’s effortless charisma bounces off your sharp wit, and Max finds himself smiling more in five minutes than he has in weeks.
Maybe months.
It’s like the weight on his shoulders has lifted, just for a moment, and he can breathe again.
You’re mid-story when he realizes he hasn’t felt this light in ages.
“So there I was,” you’re saying to Daniel, gesturing dramatically, “dragging Max out of his hotel room because he was refusing to face the world after a bad race.”
“I wasn’t refusing to face the world,” Max interjects, but there’s no real heat in his voice.
You give him a look that could level a building. “You were lying on the floor eating Haribo like it was your last meal,” you say, deadpan. “It was tragic. Genuinely tragic.”
Daniel’s cackling now, nearly spilling his beer. “Please tell me there are photos of this.”
“Sadly, no,” you reply with mock disappointment. “But the image is burned into my brain forever. It was that bad.”
Max groans, shaking his head, though the grin tugging at his lips is impossible to hide. “Why did I ever let you into my life?”
“Because no one else could handle you,” you fire back, and it’s so quick, so natural, it makes his chest ache.
Daniel takes a step back, still laughing. “You two are too much,” he says, pointing at the two of you like you’ve just performed a comedy sketch. “I’ll leave you to it. Don’t get too emotional without me, okay? I’m going to find another beer. Or maybe a Vespa to steal. Who knows?”
You watch him disappear into the crowd, still grinning. For a moment, the two of you are left standing there, and the noise of the party seems to fade just slightly.
“Daniel’s fun,” you say, breaking the silence.
“He is,” Max agrees.
When the music starts bumping up again, the two of you are faced with a whole other problem entirely.
“So, you’ve been busy!” you yell, leaning across the sticky bar top, your voice barely cutting through the bass thumping around you.
“What?” Max shouts back, leaning closer.
“I SAID, YOU’VE BEEN BUSY!”
“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”
“I KNOW! THAT’S WHY I’M SHOUTING!”
“WHAT?”
You throw your hands up in exasperation, but he just smirks, clearly enjoying this.
So you double down.
“DO YOU WANT ANOTHER DRINK?” you bellow, miming holding a glass.
“WHY ARE YOU YELLING ABOUT DRINKS?” he shouts back, baffled.
“BECAUSE IT’S TOO LOUD IN HERE!”
“WHAT?”
This back-and-forth nonsense goes on for an impressively ridiculous three minutes, the two of you getting progressively louder, until Max finally groans, shaking his head like he’s reached his limit.
He steps closer, leans in like he’s about to shout something else, then just presses a warm, steady hand to the small of your back. “Come on,” he says, not even bothering to raise his voice this time.
“What?” you yell, still committed to the bit.
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he starts gently steering you toward the stairs, and you stumble a little, caught off guard by the unexpected physical contact.
“Where are we going?” you shout, craning your neck to look at him as you climb.
“UPSTAIRS!”
“WHY?”
“BECAUSE I VALUE MY HEARING!” he fires back, glaring at you over his shoulder.
“OH, NOW YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR HEARING?” you tease, but he ignores you, his hand still firm and insistent on your back as he guides you upstairs.
The VIP section is quieter, tucked away from the pulsating bass and the sweaty chaos of the main club floor. Max had slipped a word to a bouncer—who nodded in a way that made you roll your eyes—and now you’re here, sinking into the plush leather of a semi-circular booth with a ridiculous view of the dance floor below.
The relative silence hits you like a warm blanket. You blink, adjusting to the sudden absence of aggressive EDM, and turn to Max, who looks much too smug for your liking.
“Smuggled into VIP like I’m some sort of black-market item,” you tease. “Careful, Verstappen. This is how egos start.”
“You’re welcome,” he says dryly.
“For what?” you shoot back. “The privilege of not getting tinnitus at 27?”
“Yes,” he replies smoothly, sliding into a nearby booth like he owns the place. “You’re lucky to know me.”
“Oh, absolutely,” you deadpan. “My life has improved immeasurably since you dragged me up here. I’ll write a thank-you card.”
“Make sure it’s handwritten,” he quips, signaling a waiter for drinks. “And don’t skimp on the stationery.”
“You’re ridiculous,” you say, rolling your eyes but you’re smiling, and he knows it.
He chuckles, leaning forward slightly. “Hey, if you’re going to criticize, at least admit this is better than shouting at each other over terrible music.”
You glance around the room, all dark wood and dim lighting, where a few scattered people are having hushed conversations or staring down at the dance floor with an air of superiority. “Alright,” you admit, “it’s not terrible. But the crowd up here…”
You nod toward a guy at the next table wearing sunglasses, inside, and sipping champagne like it’s water. “Is this your scene now? Bottle service bros and indoor eyewear enthusiasts?”
Max glances at the guy, smirking. “Not my scene. But I figured you deserved something better than sticky floors and overpriced tequila shots.”
You laugh. “Wow. I feel so special. Nothing says friendship like a quiet room and a drink I can’t pronounce.”
“Admit it,” he says, leaning back again. “You love it.”
“I love judging it,” you correct, grinning. “Big difference.”
Max watches you for a moment, shaking his head with an almost fond expression. “You haven’t changed at all.”
“And you’ve changed too much,” you shoot back, gesturing at his ridiculously put-together outfit. “Look at you, Verstappen. Fancy haircut, custom clothes, actual social skills. Who are you?”
“First of all, the haircut is functional,” he retorts, mock offended. “Aerodynamics.”
“Oh, of course. Wouldn’t want your hair slowing you down at 300 kph,” you say, pretending to be serious.
“It’s a real thing!” he insists, laughing now. “If you knew anything about racing-”
“If I knew anything about racing?” you interrupt, your voice rising in mock outrage. “Excuse me, I was there when you had to Google how to talk to the media without sounding like a robot. You think I don’t know the intricacies of racing, Maxy?”
“Don’t call me Maxy,” he groans, dragging a hand down his face.
“Oh, I’m definitely calling you Maxy,” you say, delighted. “I might even get a custom T-shirt. ‘Maxy’s Biggest Fan.’ I’ll wear it to a race.”
He narrows his eyes at you. “If you do that, I’ll steal your phone and delete every embarrassing photo you’ve ever taken of me.”
“Bold of you to assume I don’t have backups,” you say smugly, sipping your drink.
“Unbelievable,” he mutters, shaking his head, but there’s a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.
For a moment, the two of you fall into an easy silence, the noise of the club below fading into the background. You glance at Max, noting the relaxed set of his shoulders, the way he’s fiddling with the label on his beer bottle—a habit he’s had for as long as you can remember.
“So,” you say, breaking the quiet, “what’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve bought since you became all… you know.”
“All what?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“You know,” you say, waving a hand vaguely. “World Champion. Multi-millionaire. Guy who smuggles old friends into VIP sections.”
He chuckles. “Ridiculous? I don’t know… probably the private jet.”
You stare at him, deadpan. “The private jet is the least ridiculous thing about you, Verstappen. Try again.”
“Fine,” he says, thinking for a moment. “I bought a sauna for my house. Didn’t use it for six months.”
You burst out laughing. “A sauna? For what? Post-race existential crises?”
He groans, rubbing his temples. “It was a bad idea, okay? I thought it would be relaxing.”
“Did it come with, like, a tiny man who throws water on the rocks for you?” you ask, grinning.
“No, but now I kind of want one,” he admits, laughing.
“God, you’re the worst,” you say, shaking your head, but your tone is full of affection.
“And you’re jealous,” he fires back.
“Of your unused sauna?” you say, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m absolutely consumed with envy.”
The two of you dissolve into laughter and the conversation continues.
Next thing you know it’s 3 am and you and Max are stumbling out of the club, too giggly for both of your sakes.
Daniel had hopped on to another place hours ago so it’s just you and him.
The cool night air hits you like a slap, but instead of sobering up, it just makes you giggle harder.
Max freezes mid-stumble, his head lolling back like he’s auditioning for Les Mis on the world’s worst stage. “Why’s the air so aggressive?” he slurs. “Feels like it’s… pushing me. Rude.”
“Why’s the ground so spinny?” you counter, stumbling sideways into him.
“'Cause you’re bad at walking,” he accuses, latching onto your arm like a barnacle while swaying dramatically.
“You’re bad at walking,” you fire back, immediately tripping over a shadow and nearly eating pavement.
“You can’t even walk straight!” Max protests, laughing as he catches you before you faceplant.
His arm slides around your waist, steadying you in the most unsteady way possible.
“You’re the one spinning,” you argue, slurring every other word. “Maaaybe you should ju- just stay still for once in your life.”
“Oh, because you’re the expert,” he fires back, wheezing as you nearly trip again. “Where- where are you even staying at?”
You squint at him, trying to focus. “Uh… good question.”
Max stops dead in his tracks, turning to look at you with a mix of disbelief and amusement. “What do you mean good question? How do you not know?”
“I don’t rememb- ber,” you admit, cackling as if it’s the funniest thing in the world.
Max groans, dragging a hand down his face. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re just- what? Homeless now?”
“Homeless for the night,” you correct, wagging a finger at him like that somehow makes it better.
Max laughs so hard he has to pause, doubling over slightly. “How- how do you forget where you’re staying?”
“’S not my fault!” you defend yourself, leaning heavily against him. “The hotel has, like… a name! A boring one! And too many floors!”
Max groans so loudly it echoes off the buildings. “Oh my God. You’re homeless now. You’re a wandering drunk with no home.”
“I'm trying a new lifestyle,” you say, grinning. “Like… nomadic, y’know? Spiritual.”
“Yeah, okay, Buddha, let’s find you a real place to sleep before you start befriending rats,” he mutters, dragging you down the street.
“I like rats,” you say cheerfully. “They’re just misunderstood.”
“You’re misunderstood,” Max shoots back. “Come on. You’re crashing at my hotel. I can’t leave you out here to, like, adopt a possum or something.”
“I don’t wanna!” you whine, digging your heels into the ground.
“Tough!” Max barks, throwing his arm around your shoulders to keep you moving. “You’ll thank me in the morning when you’re not spooning a garbage can.”
You groan dramatically, slumping into him. “Maxxyyy, I’m tired. Can’t I just sleep on a bench or something?”
“Nooo. No benches. Benches are gross. You’ll get, like… pigeons on you.”
“Pigeons are my friends,” you declare solemnly, as if this is a hill you’re prepared to die on.
Max shakes his head, clearly trying to stay serious but failing miserably. “Okay, Dr. Dolittle, you’re not sleeping outside.”
You groan again, dragging your feet even as he starts pulling you along.
“Stop whining,” he slurs, swaying as he tries to walk in a straight line. “It’ll be like- like a sleepover! Like when we were five.”
“Sleepovers at five were better,” you mutter. “Less… you.”
“Excuse me?” Max stops, glaring at you like you’ve mortally offended him. “I’m the best sleepover buddy. I let you steal my Haribo once.”
“You hid the Haribo under your pillow!” you counter, poking him in the chest.
“’Cause you’re a thief!” he says, grinning as he pulls you toward the street corner.
“Am not,” you huff, pouting.
“Are too,” he replies, but his tone is teasing as he hails a cab.
When the cab pulls up, it feels like the world is tilted just enough that the ground might collapse under your feet at any moment. You both tumble into the backseat in a fit of giggles, your laughter echoing off the darkened streets.
It’s the kind of laughter that’s born of a little bit too much alcohol and a whole lot of absurdity. You could’ve sworn you heard a streetlight flicker in disbelief at the sound of your shared joy.
Max flops dramatically against you as if the very act of sitting upright requires more effort than it’s worth.
His head lands squarely on your shoulder, and for a split second, you’re both tangled in the shared warmth of a really questionable decision.
He looks up at you, eyes half-lidded, and grins like a kid who just got away with stealing candy.
“You smell like tequila and poor decisions,” he mutters with a lazy drawl, his words slow but somehow still cutting through the haze of the night.
You’re already shaking your head before you even speak, the words spilling out one over the other. “You smell like someone who wore Axe in high school.”
Max’s eyes widen in mock outrage. “I did not!” He shoots up from your shoulder like you just insulted his very existence, but the motion sends him veering dangerously toward the cab door.
He catches himself at the last second, gripping the seat like it’s a lifeline.
By the time the cab pulls up to Max’s hotel, you're both deep into a discussion about whether Axe body spray could be classified as a biohazard in certain quantities.
It’s a ridiculous debate, fueled by far too much tequila and a complete disregard for logic, but it’s the most fun either of you have had in ages.
Max is practically in tears from laughing, his snort-laugh echoing off the walls of the cab as he tries to argue that Axe is, in fact, a perfectly fine product, just poorly misunderstood by society.
The cab screeches to a halt, and Max stumbles out first, holding the door open for you with the kind of exaggerated flair you’d expect from someone who probably practices his dramatic entrances in front of a mirror.
As he pays the driver, his wallet slips from his hands not once, but twice, and he’s already apologizing profusely, his face flushed from the alcohol and his own clumsiness.
Finally, he gets the wallet sorted, tucks it back in his pocket, and reaches down to drag you out of the cab like you’re a piece of luggage.
You’re both barely standing, teetering back and forth on your feet as if gravity itself is conspiring to make the night even more ridiculous.
“Welcome to my humble abode,” Max says, throwing his arm out grandly to gesture toward the hotel lobby like he’s unveiling the Louvre.
The marble floors, polished to a shine, the sleek, understated furniture… none of it compares to the visual assault that is the ugly carpet underfoot.
“Your palace has really ugly carpet,” you mutter, laughing as you trip over the offending fabric, your feet not quite able to keep up with your brain’s idea of where they should go.
Max snorts, his hand steadying you as you almost face-plant into a particularly gaudy potted plant. “You’re banned from the palace,” he retorts, giving you a playful shove.
You recover, and together, you stagger toward the elevator, which, for some reason, feels like an obstacle course in itself.
The elevator doors open with a dramatic ding, and Max promptly starts jabbing the wrong floor button in a series of random, very confident moves.
Each one is a miss, but he keeps at it, as if this were somehow part of the plan.
You lean against the wall, your body shaking with laughter as you struggle to breathe through the giggles.
“This is why they don’t let you operate machinery,” you manage to gasp, watching him fumble with the buttons in disbelief.
Max grumbles under his breath but finally, miraculously, hits the correct floor button. He turns to you with an exaggerated wink. “See? I told you. Genius.”
You raise an eyebrow, patting him on the head condescendingly. “Sure you are, buddy. A true mastermind.”
The elevator ride is a blur of jokes and half-baked insults as you both fight to keep your composure.
Max leans against the wall with a smug look, clearly reveling in his victory over the elevator button.
When the doors finally open, you both stumble out, holding on to each other uselessly.
At the door to his room, Max proceeds to fumble with his key card in a way that can only be described as tragically incompetent.
The key card slips from his fingers twice, and each time, he lets out a string of expletives in a garble of Dutch and English.
“Jesus. You okay there, Einstein?” you tease, leaning casually against the wall and watching him drop the card once more. You can’t help but laugh.
“Shut up,” he mutters, his voice already tinged with frustration. “Technology’s hard.”
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the door swings open, and Max stumbles inside with the grace of a rhino on roller skates.
He turns to face you with a theatrical sigh. “There. I did it. Happy now?”
You’re already halfway to the bed, your shoes flying off in opposite directions, one ending up by the dresser and the other getting lodged under a chair.
With a dramatic thud, you collapse onto the bed, your body sinking into the soft, luxurious comfort like it was the only thing holding you together.
“This bed is softer than my hopes and dreams,” you mumble, your voice muffled by the comforter as you stretch out like a starfish.
Max, predictably, flops down beside you with the subtlety of a sack of bricks, his arms and legs sprawling out in every direction.
“Move over,” he grumbles, his face smooshed into the pillow.
“Nope,” you reply, barely lifting a finger to indicate where his side is. “Your side’s over there,” you say, pointing vaguely toward the edge of the bed, but it’s clear from the way your eyes are barely staying open that you’re not in any shape to play the “bedroom politics” game.
“Too bad,” Max grunts, grabbing your pillow from beneath your head and smushing it over his face. “This is a dictatorship, and I’m the dictator.”
“Goodnight, Haribo hoarder,” you slur, your words trailing off into nothing as sleep drags you under.
The last thing you hear before you fully fade into unconsciousness is Max’s muffled laugh, and you can’t help but smile.
For a brief moment, it feels like nothing’s changed at all.
—-
Max’s eyes snap open, and for a second, everything is blurry.
He blinks a few times, the weight of his eyelids making it feel like he’s wading through molasses.
A dull ache sits in the back of his skull, a reminder of the questionable choices he made the night before.
He groans, dry, scratchy, the kind of noise that only belongs to mornings where you regret both your life decisions and your snack choices.
He’s still in his room. So far, so good.
Nothing seems out of the ordinary... except for that persistent feeling in the air that something is off.
Max stretches, or at least tries to. His arms flail in an uncoordinated spasm, which results in a series of awkward grunts and a pop from his back that sounds like a joint trying to jump ship.
For a second, he considers staying perfectly still, hoping his body will remember how to function like a normal human.
But then—
There’s something warm beside him. Something... alive.
Max freezes, eyes snapping wide open. His breath catches in his throat as he tries to process what’s happening. The warmth next to him isn’t the soft comfort of a pillow.
It’s... a person.
A person in his bed.
What the actual hell?
His brain goes into overdrive, trying to make sense of the situation. His mind races through a thousand thoughts in a second, each one more ridiculous than the last.
Did he... did he end up getting a stranger drunk last night? Did someone break into his room to cuddle with him?
Max’s eyes dart to his left, and it hits him like a freight train.
The person is you.
You, sprawled across the bed, fast asleep, your hair tousled and your face peaceful, completely unaware of his mounting panic.
For a moment, Max just stares, brain failing to catch up.
How did this happen? His head starts swimming. His mouth goes dry. His first thought is that he’s dreaming..except, no.
This is far too real. He’s not that lucky.
“I need to call Daniel..”
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