#Family Weight Woes
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Dining table: the perfect opportunity to bond over love, laughter, and... constant discussions about my weight. Ah, nothing warms the heart quite like relatives who are convinced they have a Ph.D. in body shaming!Every time I sit down with my dear family, I can practically see their eyes scanning my every inch, calculating the number of calories in each bite. It's like I'm a walking math problem, and they're determined to solve it. Thanks, guys, for turning a meal into a trigonometry class! But fear not, my weight-obsessed kin, for I have developed a foolproof strategy. I bring a life-sized cardboard cutout of myself to family gatherings and set it at the table. That way, they can focus on their favorite topic—the elusive number on the scale—while I enjoy my food in peace. Who needs engaging conversations about life, dreams, or hobbies when we can analyze the caloric content of each dish? Forget about sharing stories or creating memories; let's discuss my body mass index instead. It's a real crowd-pleaser! So, dear family, I appreciate your unwavering concern for my weight, but here's a revolutionary idea: how about we focus on something else? Like the weather, the latest Netflix show, or something more exciting, like aliens, unicorns, or the latest conspiracy theory? Trust me, the options are endless! In the end, I'll embrace my own unique shape and remind myself that my worth is not determined by the numbers on a scale. So, here's to family gatherings, where the food is delicious, the love is real, and the weight-obsessed conversations become the punchline of our hilarious anecdotes.
#body shaming#family#Family Weight Woes#Body Shaming Dinner Talk#Aliens Over BMI#Anecdotes And Appetites
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Digitalised + coloured + redesigned version of my Suiren and Vaatu sketch from two days ago, as promised!!
Coming up with Suiren’s design was a very long process of trying and failing because after you’ve drawn 9+ different versions of one character, the creativity starts to run a little dry, but I’m actually really proud of this one, she looks absolutely adorable <3
(Also yeah I did mostly just scribble Vaatu’s pattern because who has the energy to draw the all out accurately. Not me, that’s who, I’m chronically tired. People who draw him on the regular have my utmost respect. He’s still a funky little guy though :D)
Bonus, Raava incessantly screaming inside Suiren (and being completely ignored because Suiren is tired of her) while all this is happening:
#and yeah I did say I’d do a fuckass background but all my energy went to figuring out Suiren’s design#plus I suck at backgrounds so.. woe. LoK screenshot be upon ye#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#avatar suiren au#original character#sotrl suiren#vaatu#I don’t really know what to say in these tags lmao#usually I reach the tag limit really really easily but between my previous post and answering that ask I’ve ran out of things to say#someone please indulge me in this au I have Way Too Many Thoughts about it#hmm…#you know. I think people often make different avatar aus because they dislike Korra or think she’s a bad avatar#I don’t. I love Korra. I would kill and die for her#(says the red lotus stan. yes I’m well aware. no need to call me out)#and I think she’s a good avatar who was dealt a shitty hand both in universe and by the show’s production team#I’m making this au BECAUSE I love Korra. if Suiren is the avatar Korra gets to be a normal SWT girl#she’ll get to grow up with her parents. not isolated and degraded all the time for not being perfect. maybe she’d have a sibling or two#and Suiren gets spared her sotrl trauma too. win win for everyone!!#(I return Suiren gets the weight of the world on her shoulders lmao. but it’s fine. 1. she isn’t alone in it. she has her family#2. three quarters of the LoK threats are basically automatically eliminated for her. the RL are her parents. she fuses with Vaatu#and all she has to do to defeat Kuvira is to take her dress off 😁 /hj. basically. she’ll be okay. better than in sotrl at least)#also look. I love Suiren. she’s my dear child who’s been with me since I was 12. of course I wanna make her the main character in everything#and dark avatar Korra AUs have been done countless times before me. Kat’s doing one right now!! I just wanna do something that’s my own#and also I wanna focus less on pain and trauma for once and more on the sheer hilarity of the shenanigans that will occur post-fusion#cause this isn’t Adumbration where Korra lets Raava go and fuses with Vaatu instead. here Suiren’s got both of them at the same time#and they have 10000 years’ worth of grievances to air out. it’s like living with your divorced parents#trust me I would know. except mine aren’t divorced. they’re Worse and everyone wishes they’d just separate#anyway. that aside. Suiren’s not getting any sleep any time soon while those two duke it out
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#i want to be super clear this is just a personal internal struggle and not a woe is me give me sympathy post#its weird being someone who is straight sized but is quite a bit bigger than almost everyone in their family#and who really only gained the belly in the last few years#and i don’t experience being fat in a systemic way but i have been told to try and lose weight by a doctor#and certain things like plan b won’t work on me very well because of my weight#and i am certainly not the waif build of popular transmascs or butches on the internet so my body often doesn’t feel desireable#i go back and forth on whether or not it’s appropriate to use the word fat for myself#not in a derogatory way just as a descriptor#idk#i might delete this later#bork bork!
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Man I am not looking forward to the fact I've got 3 back to back exams coming up ...and two of them are for a class I'm worried about like...fuck idk...and it sucks cus I've had a lot of ppl reaching out to me lately wanting to hang out or talk and it's like I don't have it in me for small conversation sorry... T_T why is being an adult so hard I feel like I can never fully achieve balance between work-school-personal...ykwim...but also I'm a chronic overworker...I can't ever Relax ...
#.personal rambles#Im not vaguing anyone here i just feel bad cus like i get messages from irls and its like...yeah I dont have as many classes this sem but...#Im just...exhausted like Im getting a headache just thinking abt all the shit I need to do and it doesnt help that my therapist is kinda#getting on me abt trans stuff like...I wish I had the luxury of just being able 2 go ahead but...money and family...#Like thats another thing that feels so isolating...and I already feel unbearably lonely and distant from every1...#Enough woe is me I just havent been feeling very well lately and I feel like Ive been bubbling over...#Like I feel this weight and i fear that one day Im going 2 just snap from my reality...whatever that means#and I am not looking forward to it cus again I dont ! have! the luxury!#I always have to be the perfect role model the perfect son the perfect brother the perfect employee the perfect student...#like I feel like I have no room for error n everytime I try and talk to someone abt how I feel they ignore me or try and “one up” me#Or they treat me like I want attention or its not that bad or Oh wow youre so strong V youll get thru it...#t_t idk Ive been having an awful time lately...#ANYWAYS! sorry yall
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kenzieluvssukuna :: personaltrainer!sukuna x thick!reader (18+) ☆
desc ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖ ever since you were young, you've struggled with your weight - it becoming one of your biggest insecurities. now as an adult, you actually have the financial freedom to invest into yourself leading you to start going your local gym. you end up running into someone who was willing to help you... the only problem was that he didn't seem as invested in your weight loss as you were. cw ✧✩₊˚. modern/no curses au, body image insecurity, fatshaming🙄, sukuna knows how to use a phone, slow burn-ish (they don't smash in this part), mastúrbation (f), séxting // 3.5k wc // part 2
“Are you sure you should eat that?” “You would be so much prettier if you just dropped a few pounds.” “You’ll never date anyone looking like that!”
Ever since you were young, all the people in your life ever seemed to be concerned with was your weight - whether that be murmured judgements amongst themselves or just directly to your face. At first it used to upset you, the ostracisation making you feel like there was permanently a spotlight on you no matter where you went; strangers silently judging you, making assumptions or just flat out insulting you.
If you wanted to go out to a restaurant, it felt like you were be shamed out of eating anything that could be deemed as “unhealthy”. Shopping for clothes was a difficulty - irregular clothing sizes meaning that the majority of your teenage shopping trips ended with you tearing up in the changing room as you fought with many a pair of stupid jeans that fit your calves perfectly well, but as you tugged them up to your plush thighs they got painfully stuck; your mom having to intervene and haul the wretched things back down.
As you grew out of adolescence and into adulthood, you quickly learnt how to mask the insecurity and self-doubt you had accumulated, leaning fully into the “funny, fat friend” role. You kept a fake smile plastered on your face as friends and family lamented on about the woe’s of constantly being approached by men and how lucky you were that you didn’t have to worry about that.
You weren’t nearly as perturbed with your appearance as others seemed to be, puberty being instrumental in recomposing your juvenile body to its current physique - majority of your fat moving to fill out your hips and bust. You definitely still had a tummy and back rolls but the thickness of your thighs and generous glutes were something that you felt your friends were at least a little envious of, often catching them gawking at the way your hips swayed as you walked or how your breasts jiggled as you moved your hands around.
Regardless of your growing acceptance of your larger body size, there were still times when you felt like that young girl who was relentlessly bullied and mocked due to something as superficial as how she looked. You wanted to move on from ever feeling like that again, which is what lead you to start going to the gym.
If you could mould yourself, to how other’s wanted you to look and be seen as not even beautiful but just normal - maybe you wouldn’t have this heaviness in your heart, maybe you would finally feel fully accepted by the people in your life and maybe you’d not constantly feel on edge when in public or open spaces.
Your first few trips to the gym were pretty mundane. You made sure to properly stretch before attempting weighted exercise - deep squats and hip flexors being your favourite warm-up, the slight tension and warm rush of blood flow putting you in the perfect mind frame for a challenging but rewarding workout.
The routine and order that the gym was able to give you didn’t just help you to achieve your goal of weight-loss but also caused a drastic improvement to your mental health; your brain being able to just.. switch off as you pounded your feet into the conveyer belt of the treadmill.
However, your gym session a couple weeks ago was is were things started to change.
You sauntered in, light pink hydroflask complementing your pastel two-piece - a sports bra with interweaving straps around your back for increased support and cycling shorts that nicely hugged your ample hips and gave your rear a helpful lift.
Making your way to the padded area used for low impact exercise, you got to work. Starting out with a deep stretch in your hamstrings and then working back up to your upper hips. As you leant back up from a standing toe touch, you felt an intimidating presence looming over you. You stumbled back slightly, eyes flitting upwards to take in this unwelcome interruption.
The first thing you noted was that he was muscular - corded muscles rippling as he squatted down to meet your gaze. He had thick, black markings all over his body from what you could tell, two lines on both his upper thighs and forearms being the only visible ones currently, peaking out from his snug fitting compression shirt and loose training shorts.
He even had it on his face, symmetrical lines running from the top of his jaw down to his chin meeting in a small triangle alongside a pointed line across his nose. His hair was almost the same colour as your bottle - a soft pink that seemed almost contradictory to his hard exterior.
“Your form.” He grumbled. You blinked back, not really grasping what he was trying to say.
“For God’s sake, your form woman! Are you trying to get injured or something?” His dark eyes observed you with something that was… unfamiliar. You were used to people looking at you with disgust or even pity but he looked at you with a genuine curiosity.
“You keep rounding your back. That will cause you more harm than good in the long term” he continued on, not seeming to take your lack of response as a deterrent.
“Stand up.”
It was unclear to you why you were mindlessly following this random man’s instructions but nevertheless you humoured him - following his sharp commands as he directed you into a form that was better suited to your body type, taking into account your larger proportions which allowed for a much deeper and satisfying stretch. You went to crane your head up as you heard the man’s voice behind you.
“Aht- I never said you could move” he chided, reaching out a large, calloused palm to press you back down into the corrected pose. “I was enjoying the view.”
It took you a moment to understand the implication of what he meant, cheeks burning as you stood up properly. “I don’t think I got your name..?”
He smirked, passing you a card with his name and number on “…'name’s Sukuna, I work as a personal trainer at this gym sometimes.”
He paused, shamelessly looking you up and down - pretty much just eye-fucking you in the middle of the gym. “if you ever need someone to help you work out, ‘m here.” He sauntered off, not even bothering to wait for your response.
The rest of your workout was spent mulling over the intriguing man you had just met. Whilst his methods were… unconventional and he could be a little assertive, he clearly knew a lot more about the gym than you and could be quite useful?
When you got back to your place, the first thing you did was take a good look at the card he had given you, saving the number on the back and sending him a quick message.
…
you: heyyy, it’s the girl you helped at the gym today! tysm for ur advice, it was really useful. :) would you be free anytime this week to help me with some leg workouts?
sukuna: i remember you
sukuna: do you want to look like this?
sukuna: [image attachment]
…
Unsure of what he was really talking about, you immediately clicked the image expecting it to be a photo of a previous client who was in a similar position or honestly anything but a selfie of his glistening torso.
Black markings continuing down from his shoulders meeting into the middle of his pectorals, two symmetrical pointed lines running deep along his tensed abs, an arm slightly raised to show the circle on the top of his deltoid. He was in a dark room but the flash from the camera gave you a good view of his lap - legs spread wide, the grey sweatpants he was wearing allowing you to see everything.
…
sukuna: so?
…
You were…stunned to say the least. I mean you did get the vibe that he was checking you out but you weren’t used to men being so forward with you. You genuinely wanted him to help you work out though so you responded back earnestly stating that whilst you did appreciate his physique, you weren’t trying to completely change the way you looked - you had actually grown from your original aim of going to the gym just for weight loss and wanted to instead focus on improving your stamina and muscle gain, any pounds shed from that alone would be satisfactory for you.
…
sukuna: i understand
sukuna: lets meet tuesday
sukuna: i have the perfect workout for you
…
The wait for Tuesday to come felt absolutely agonising. The day before you had actually gone through your closet looking for your cutest gym set to wear, spending hours agonising over whether you should go for a unitard that clung tightly to your curves or one of your more… skimpier sets that allowed for a little recoil when you moved.
Whilst you knew this definitely wasn’t a date and had already come to the conclusion that Sukuna was certainly the type of trainer to flirt with all his clients - this gym session definitely felt charged in some kinda way.
You walked into the gym that Tuesday quite apprehensive; bringing your light blue hydroflask this time to better match with the set you decided on, a cropped slim fit shirt and looser pair of shorts (to allow for greater range of motion but it does help they also show the underside of your ass).
As soon as you stepped into the gym, you spotted the pink-haired man standing in the padded area you normally start in, his eyes dragging up your frame; a slow grin spreading across his lips as he beckoned you over with two of his fingers.
The walk to him felt like an eternity, dark eyes tinged with a streak of red as he unreservedly studied you - eyes flitting down to the high cut of your shorts, ass jiggling with every step you took.
You felt blood rush to your face, Sukuna’s ogling making you feel so shy. You finally reached him, his hooded gaze rendering you speechless for a good minute or so as the two of you just looked at each other silently.
“Hello to you too” He sniggered, turning to the side to reveal the assortment of weights he had selected for today’s workout. “This is going to be the hardest workout of your life.”
“Sounds good!” you innocently beamed, always being up for a good challenge and it seemed like Sukuna was willing to give you one.
“Woman, I don’t think you understand,” He wiped a hand over his jaw, seeming to be finding your misguided enthusiasm hilarious, “…’nless, you are some kind of masochist - there is no chance you’ll enjoy this”
You looked up at him after he said this, smile faltering slightly at the sight of the very poorly hidden smirk on his face. He was really going to try push you to your limit but… he didn’t know how stubborn you could be.
The two of you went through the warm-up smoothly enough, Sukuna’s critical eye spotting the myriad of mistakes you were making; hands sliding against the soft, contours of your body to position you in the correct positions.
It was hard to remind yourself where you were when his broad palms reached around the expanse of your thighs, lingering in the inner crevices as he squeezed lightly to encourage you to push back against him to deepen your stretch. You really couldn’t tell whether Sukuna was affected in the same way you seemed to be, his previously heated gaze being replaced with a much calmer and cooler one - his focus seeming to be on making this workout the “hardest one of your life”.
You then moved onto weights, the main target of the day being glutes as requested by you. Sukuna had queried about what muscle groups you targeted least and from there promised to make you a future guide to help you work them out more; but explained that today he would start with something familiar, “I don’t want to scare you off.”
To help improve your weight lifting form, he would model how he wanted you to position yourself and then get you to copy him. This would have been extremely helpful if you were actually paying attention to what he was doing, your mind being more focused on the way his muscles flexed and relaxed as he moved into the poses; you could literally see the tendons wrapping and twisting as he dropped into a squat, thighs flattening out as adductors tensed up creating a deep crevice in the middle.
“Woman.” he growled, dragging you out of your daydream. “I know you didn’t just call me here to lust over my body.” He made eye contact with you through the mirror in front, “You could’ve just come to mine if that was the case”.
Sukuna really knew how to make you flustered, whether that be on purpose or that just being his personality. You couldn’t really decipher whether he actually meant what he said or if his matter-of-fact tone just made everything flirtatious. It didn’t help that he really didn’t mind getting up close and personal with his training, hands securely gripping your sides as you held two dumbbells above your head, gently easing into a weighted squat. He made you do this 20 times - your body trembly and achy by the 15th rep.
“Sukuna….I don’t think I can do anymore” you wheezed, beads of sweat running down from your hairline.
“Don’t be a baby” he muttered into your ear, causing you to suddenly become hyperaware of his proximity to you; his body essentially caging you in as he helped to pull you down. You shivered slightly, willing your body to focus on the really heavy fucking weights above your head and not the man hovering behind you. You flicked your eyes back up to the mirror to centre yourself only to find Sukuna’s eyes glued to your rear - the squat position you were currently in making it look even bigger than normal, your spread legs isolating each cheek with the sliver of undercheek peeking out tensing up into your thigh due to your poor balance.
It was kinda comical to see how transfixed he was - eyes completely blacked out with his grip becoming slightly tighter as you dipped lower and lower. As you came back up you tipped yourself forward purposefully to seem as if you were going to fall over. Snapping out of his daze, Sukuna fully pulled you back into his chest; lower back brushing up against his semi-hard length as your weights clattered against the floor. You turned your head upwards to try and catch his eye only to find him already staring back down at you, face stern, “S-Stop messing around, woman.” He barked out, swiftly moving to create some distance between the two of you.
The rest of the workout continued without much interference from yourself or Sukuna; the second half primarily consisting of cardio which meant that little guidance was actually needed. Whilst you were grateful for his assistance, you couldn’t help but feel like you wanted something more - missing the physical contact that was so prevalent at the beginning of your workout.
“All done!” you smiled as the machine slowed to a stop, your gruelling 30 minutes on the stair-master finally being over. You staggered over to the pink-haired man who was lazily lounging on the couch at reception, proud that you had struggled your way through his workout and lived to tell the tale.
“Why are you so…happy?” He looked mildly conflicted, impressed that you had managed to make it through his workout but disappointed that he hadn’t managed to break you.
“’Cause I completed your workout, silly” He found the cheesy grin on your face infuriatingly cute, the way your your eyes crinkled up and dimples poked out actually making his heart beat slightly faster.
“I’m not silly, brat.” He spat out, hand moving down to ruffle your hair, much to your annoyance.
“Since you found this workout so easy, let’s see how you find the one at my house.”
Oh.
The look on Sukuna’s face was akin to the likes of a predator that had just caught its prey; a wide, malfeasant grin plastered on his face as his eyes went to a darkened black.
He was talking about… oh.
You could literally feel yourself dripping as you glanced up at Sukuna, mouth dry as he strolled out of the gym silently - looking back with a gleam in his eyes as the doors to the gym slid shut.
The drive home was quiet, mind reeling at the sudden turn of events. Yes, Sukuna had been very flirty during your interactions but you never thought it was going to escalate to this point where he essentially invited you round… to fuck.
You got home, showered, changed, ate and tucked yourself in for bed in a daze, thoughts still scrambled as you tossed and turned desperately trying to turn off your racing thoughts.
DING
Your hand reached out to grasp your phone. You knew that it could only be one person texting you at this hour.
…
sukuna: mine friday @ 8?
sukuna: unless you don't want to see more of this
sukuna: [image attachment]
…
Oh, he definitely did not waste any time. Your finger raced to click open the attachment, the picture this time being a selfie from a lower angle showcasing a little more of the pink-haired man’s lower body; boxers pulled down to show you his harsh v-line and happy trail that confirmed that the curtains do match the drapes. You could see the the small veins wrapping around his flexed forearm as he twisted his arm to the side to show the sheer amount of muscle he had managed to build in just that one area, bicep almost tripling in size.
As much as you wanted to pretend his excessive showmanship didn’t impress you, your body was telling a different story; thighs slowly rubbing together as you felt heat rush down between your legs.
…
sukuna: i know what you are doing
sukuna: show me.
…
Sheets pushed to the side, you pulled down your shorts with an inhumane level of strength. Something about how self-assured and confident he was just made you horny. The way he just told you what to do and you actually did it was something you didn’t realise you’d liked so much until now, your body trembling with need.
You started filming, a hand spreading apart your folds as the one holding the phone drew closer to showcase how drenched you already were. Your swollen clit was red and angry, begging for attention as your fingertips slowly skimmed along the edges of your cunt. As much as you wanted to wanted to give Sukuna a real show, you also really wanted to come. Eventually, you brought two fingers to your sensitive clit and smeared all of the slick you had gathered before, just the mere pressure making you groan lowly in pleasure. You leisurely started to build up speed, fingers readjusting to allow you to prod into your tight hole, fingers pressing up against your walls in a way that only allowed you to squeeze down onto them.
Your room was filled with the sounds of your quiet whimpers and moans as the pressure in the lower half of your body started to build up more and more to the point where you were about to climax. Your breathing became shallower and was replaced by heavy pants as you tried to evade the inevitable for a little longer, not wanting to stroke Sukuna’s ego any further by coming almost immediately at the sight of him.
Right when you couldn’t hold back any longer you decided to cut the video - he could see you come when the two of you meet on Friday. Until then, he’d have to be satisfied with your video.
You sent the video and threw your phone on the bed, left hand joining your right in plunging into your cunt; your body arching away from the bed as you reached your peak and came hard, gushing out all over your sheets.
Your head felt fuzzy as you lay there for a moment, the only sound in the room being your phone rapidly buzzing.
…
sukuna: fuck
sukuna: you look so good
sukuna: cant believe you cut it there
sukuna: what a little tease
sukuna: you'll see what i do to women who tease me.
…
Friday could not come sooner.
part 2
a/n ✧✩₊˚. ive been binge watching industry and wow being a banker actually seems interesting wtf.. i had to cancel my gym membership cause im moving for uni and i miss it so much i cant wait to start going again 😜
#kenzieluvssukuna#kenzieluvs#jjk#jjk x reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen smut#sukuna x reader#jjk sukuna#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna smut#sukuna smut
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AH HI!! so... i love the way you write ditzy!reader, and especially with steve idk it just warms my heart yk? The way they interact 😭 it's so lovely
Since I'm an angsty girly at heart, I thought about a situation where steve gets a teeny tiny bit frustrated with ditzy!reader, but it's just seconds, even less than that but it's enough to make her upset for making him upset but also a super fluffy moment between both of them and steve being mesmerized by her and just so much in love
ahh thank u lovie! pls enjoy!! — steve gets frustrated with his sensitive gf and makes up with her accordingly (hurt/comfort, established relationship, 2.7k)
fictober (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)
You keep Steve company during the last half of his shift like you always do.
He’s grumpier than usual, though — all pouty and visibly brooding.
You plop yourself on the front counter of Family Video and ask him what’s wrong, and he tells you that the day’s been hell and he’s just tired. There is no “but I feel better now” like there usually is when he’s upset but doesn’t want you to think it’s your fault.
The “because you’re here” is typically implied.
Not so much now.
You’re having the complete opposite day of your sulking boyfriend. Yours had been dreadfully boring, or at least you say it had been, but you find a million different things to tell him. You’re too excited after having spent so many hours without him, like a dog with a wagging tail. You’ve got the zoomies of the mouth, if you could even call it that.
“—And then I saw the cutest dog on the way over here. His name was Cappy, and he was huge, and the owner was so nice. He even let me pet him, and he literally felt like a cloud— the dog, not the owner.”
Steve is used to this. The whole rambling about nothing thing. He loves it about you, actually. It took him ages to coax you out of that shell after your asshole ex told you that you talked too much, convinced you that no one cared about what you had to say.
You’re more comfortable now, and Steve loves that you are, but right now he just can’t concentrate.
Keith’s been on his ass about inventory all day, and he just learned how to do it on the old, bulky computer this morning — but only after Robin made him an hour late to his shift. Everything’s just too much now. He’s overwhelmed to the point of spontaneous combustion.
For the first time ever, you’re not helping.
“—And, like, I know when we move into our apartment, we’re technically not allowed to have pets, but like… What about a fish? Or a turtle?” you wonder aloud but don’t stop to let him answer. Sitting on the edge of the counter, you kick your feet and flit your eyes to the spotted ceiling. “What if I start feeding the deer in the woods, and they just start showing up at our backdoor? ‘Cause technically—”
“Babe, please,” Steve snaps suddenly when your sneaker knocks his chair. He’s buzzing with anger, and even though it’s not because of you, he doesn’t know where else to put it.
Your eyes go wide at the newfound bite in his tone. He’s not shouting at you, but it makes your heart stop like he is. You feel like a kid again, getting scolded for being “too much.”
“…What?” you squeak.
Steve sighs. A deep, heavy sigh. It doesn’t remove the leaden weight from his chest, though.
“I’m… I’m really trying to concentrate here, and you’re just— you’re making it really hard,” he tells you through gritted teeth, trying hard to keep his composure.
You deflate like a popped balloon. “Oh…”
He can hear the waver in your tone, the way your voice sounds wet with unshed tears. But he’s too overwhelmed — internally raging and selfish with it. His sweltering temper makes his woe feel more important than yours.
“Yeah, so… Can you just— go bother someone else for, like, five minutes?” he asks, fists clenched on either side of the clunky keyboard, his gaze concentrated on the pixelated screen. “Robin’s probably sulking in a corner somewhere. Go find her.”
Your face crumbles like a balled-up piece of paper. Your chest gets all tight, and your eyes start to burn when tears gather behind them.
You’d always been a flower of melodrama — blooming eternally and constantly sensitive. So when Steve cut you off as you fantasized about a family of deer living in the backyard of an apartment you were supposed to share together, it felt like a knife in your chest.
The irrational thought that he no longer wanted any of that with you was fleeting and vivid and burning. Irrational, still.
But now you’re annoying him. He’s told you as much, with an unusual harshness he’s never spat at you before. And now your fears feel much more real.
“I’m bothering you?” you ask him, barely intelligible through the whimper in your throat.
Steve huffs again. His elbows thunk against the desk when he puts his head in his palms, swiping his fingers through his hair like he always does when he’s antsy.
“I just really need to get this done,” he tells you, softer now. He makes himself mad all over again, though, and gets sharper once more. “I need to finish this before I get fired, and then we have no apartment to move into because we have no money, alright?”
There it is. The root of all his anger. A lingering feeling of inadequacy.
He wants a life with you, but all he’s got is a measly Family Video salary — which he’s lucky to have apparently, because he can’t seem to do anything right. It stirs like a fire in the pit of his stomach.
After another deep breath, he finally turns to look up at you. His honey eyes are wet and stern. The chiseled edges of his features are sharp. Gently, he pleads. “I really need to work here, babe.”
You nod, understanding and internally weeping. “Okay. I’m— I’m sorry, I was just— I’ve been missing you all day, and I got too excited, I think,” you confess, wringing your clammy hands in your lap like a scolded child.
“Don’t apologize,” Steve says with a huff, leaning back against the squeaking swivel chair. It’s old and has lost all its cushion. His stiff back aches all the more. There’s no relief, to any of it.
He sits back up again and puts his unsure hands back on the keyboard. “Just— Just go, okay? Let me finish this.”
He leaves little room for argument.
You wouldn’t, though, even if you wanted to. Which you do. You’re just not strong enough.
—————
Steve tells you to go, but you end up in the kiddie corner across the store.
Mr. Rogers puts on a bright red cardigan and sings a tune that makes you feel like crying. You sit on the color-blocked carpet, surrounded by block toys, and clutch a stuffed bunny to your chest. You can’t tell if the vintage VHS is making the screen blurry or if it’s the tears gathering heavy at your waterline.
Robin walks by you, does a double-take, and immediately reports to Steve.
“What did you do?” she interrogates with narrowed eyes, strolling up to the counter with a cart full of tapes to put away.
The hearty tap, tap, taping of the keyboard fills the silence.
Steve doesn’t look at her until he’s finished up the last of his work. Only when it’s fully and finally complete does his hardened gaze dart to her. “What are you talking about?”
“Your girlfriend. She’s upset.”
“What do you mean she’s upset?”
Robin rolls her eyes at his obliviousness. “I don’t know. She’s singing the Mister Roger’s theme song and, like, crying. It’s weird.”
Steve’s brows pinch. His heart does, too. “Crying?”
“Well— not crying, exactly. It’s this really weird blubbering thing.” She fails to explain it so she tries to imitate it. A sobbing, sniffling sort of noise. She fails at that, too. Her scrunched face goes back to normal. “Like that.”
Deadpanned, Steve nods. “Wow, Robin. That was really helpful. Thank you.”
“Just go comfort your girlfriend, dingus.”
Steve still thinks she’s joking. Robin doesn’t lie, but she does have a tendency to overemphasize the mundane.
He goes to see you anyway, though, and doesn’t think twice about any of it — about what Robin said or what he had said to you before that.
He finds you in the kid’s section, in front of the tiny television, surrounded by brightly colored toys. He smiles at the sight of you, exhaling a sharp laugh through his nose.
“What are you doing all the way over here, huh?” he questions to announce his arrival, which you seemingly hadn’t noticed. “This area is usually for kids, ya know? Well, kids and Dustin Henderson.”
He doesn’t sound as annoyed with you anymore. You’re grateful for that much, but you still feel a bit sick about the whole thing.
Your nervous hands pick the cotton of the fuzzy bunny in your arms. You keep your gaze on the television in front of you, but you aren’t really watching it anymore. “I used to watch this stuff a lot growing up. The nostalgia sorta makes me wanna puke. But, like, in a good way.”
Steve scoffs. “Well, maybe we should turn it off then, ‘cause if I have to clean up vomit after the day I’ve had, I might actually go insane.”
He’s kidding. Mostly. The universe tends to be cruel like that, but he’d clean up all your messes a thousand times over if he had to.
He laughs at his own joke as he crouches to sit down next to you. He bends his knees, props his arms on top of them, and looks over at you. You don’t crack a smile for him, which is weird because you always laugh at his jokes. Even the ones that aren’t funny. Especially the ones that aren’t funny.
His smile ebbs to a wavering half-smirk as he knocks his shoulder with yours. “You okay?”
You think for a moment, jutting your lips out, unblinking at the television screen. “No,” you answer after a few seconds of silence. “But I’ll get over it. I think.”
Your honesty makes his heart wrench — like you’ve wrapped both your tiny hands around the beating organ and squeezed. It knocks the breath out of his lungs, a fish so ruthlessly pulled from the water. He tries to speak through the sudden lack of air. “Wh—What happened? Was it… Did I do something? Did you—”
“No,” you cut off his stammering with a firm shake of your head. “I did something.”
“Oh,” is all he says, pink lips pouting and wide eyes darting. “What does… What does that mean? Did you, like, step on a rogue VHS or something? ‘Cause I do that all the time, and technically, that’s Rob’s fault for leaving them out, so—”
You shake your head again, digging your nails into the delicate cotton of the well-loved stuffy in your arms. “No. I was just— I was botheringyou, and now I feel bad,” you confess, all quiet like a meek child who’s learning what it means to be sorry.
Steve — your oh, so oblivious one — goes aflame with embarrassment. He’d been too clouded by his own anger to recognize the venom spilling from his mouth; to understand that it would inevitably hurt you.
With chiseled features twisted in confusion, he shakes his head and stammers. “What? No! You weren’t— You weren’t bothering me!”
You turn to look at him, for the first time since he sat down beside you. Your eyes are glassy and swimming with hurt. You try to keep your trembling features stoic. You don’t want to seem as hurt by it all as you really are.
You feel like you should, anyway. What right do you have to be sad when you were the one being a bother?
“You said I was,” you remind him, still soft but sterner now. “You told me to go bother someone else—”
“Oh, babe…” Steve says, deflating just as you had.
He knows how sensitive you are, how deeply you feel things. You’re vulnerable, raw — it makes everything feel more personal than it really is. It makes grumpy jabs from your dumbass boyfriend hurt like a lemon on a weeping wound.
He tries to apologize, knowing that he hurt you and that it’s not up to him to decide that he didn’t.
“I wasn’t… I didn’t mean to, babe,” he murmurs, swiping a tense hand through his hair and then gesticulating wildly with it. “I was just being a dick, you know? I’ve been super stressed all day and—”
“Don’t apologize. I was being annoying.”
Steve blinks at you with wide, wet eyes — like you’ve hurt him by talking so cruelly about yourself.
“Baby, no. No,” he urges, ducking down to meet your gaze when you look away from him. “I’m just an idiot, okay? I put off inventory until the last second, and Keith’s been on my ass all day about it, and I just— I took that out on you, and that’s not fair, and I’m sorry.”
You shake your head, pursing your bitten lips to the side and twisting the long ear of the bunny between your fingers. “It’s not your fault, Steve…” you murmur, almost inaudibly.
He scoffs. It sounds like a bitter laugh. “Well, actually, it kinda is.”
“I just… I don’t really understand what’s going on sometimes. Or, like, a lot of the time,” you admit with a distracted gaze, eyes flitting everywhere but to the boy beside you. You’re too ashamed to look at him now. “And it’s harder for me to know when I’m talking too much, you know? Or if I’m being super annoying.”
“I know…” Steve nods, trying his best to be sympathetic of you. He loves how soft you are — too much to understand you completely. He loves how gently you treat the rest of the world, how unusually giddy you get in your gentleness.
You swallow through a tightening throat and shrug to pretend your world doesn’t feel like it’s crumbling around you. “And I don’t care about annoying other people— well, I do, but it’s different with you, you know? Other people can’t break up with me for being too much.”
“The idiot that told you you were too much had exactly zero personality,” Steve tells you, mostly because he means it but also to see you smile.
You do, just barely. A grin so soft only someone deathly in love with you could see.
“You’re never annoying me, okay? Ever. I love hearing you talk. I love having you around.”
“Yeah?” you ask him, blinking back burning tears.
“Hell yeah! You’re, like, the best part of my day! The only good part of my day, now that I think about it.”
Biting back a grin, you tease, “Well, what about Robin?”
“Robin made me late today, so we’re kinda not friends right now.”
“That’s mean,” you scold despite the growing smile on your face.
Steve shrugs. “We’ll make up before I clock out. No big deal.”
You go suddenly shy, smiling sheepish and tilting your chin to your chest to peek at him through your lashes. “Are we gonna make up before you clock out?” you wonder quietly.
“Only if you’re willing to forgive me for being an insufferable douchebag,” Steve answers, only half-joking. He very seldomly feels worthy of your softness.
You look at him with it, anyway.
Full on beaming now, you reach across the short distance to wrap him in a firm embrace. The position is only slightly awkward. Sitting side by side with your asses on the hard carpet, your arms wound tightly around his neck — a bit like a snake smothering its prey.
Steve feels grateful to be held so ardently.
His nose smushes into your neck. The sweet scent of your perfume entwines with the warm scent of your sweater. He smiles into your shoulder when it makes you giggle. You pull back from him then, just to steal a quick peck a moment later. Your lips smack audibly against his grin.
“Can we make out before you clock out?” you lilt with a shy smirk.
“…That is the single best idea I’ve heard all day.”
Your giggle fills the empty store when Steve rises suddenly and pulls you with him. He leads you toward the back, tugging you by the hand down the short corridor and rambling all the way. “Keith left for the day, so his office is empty, which means it’s fair game—”
“I am not making out with you in Keith’s office!”
“But his desk chair is crazy comfortable, and also, he’s a dick, so… who cares?”
#published by bug#steve harrington x reader#stranger things x reader#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x you#steve harrington imagine#stranger things imagine#stranger things#steve harrington#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fic#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fic#stranger things fanfiction#st drabbles#stevie drabble#event: fictober!
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i could talk a lot about the reasons that i think vox machina as pcs is actually a perfect insertion into the c3 narrative right now but the one that’s really sticking out to me is the diversity in the opinions on the gods that the party has and the lack of influence their individual opinions have on their commitment to save the world. because with bh they’re all pretty ambivalent or anti-god with fcg and now braius being outliers, but both of those cases are still very unique and particular ones: fcg had his cleric powers prior to his religiosity and so it was largely just about the personal meaning he found in the changebringer but he still ended up having divine exchanges with her and braius is in the fjord stone school of being a willing child of god divorce. and with those of bh who dislike the gods it’s for completely valid reasons with completely invalid application of their personal woes to a universal scale. but in vox machina we see the way that experience with people that the gods matter to beyond just the magical exchange and experience with the weight that denying the rise of a new betrayer left on the shoulders of the gods they aided. i have to say that beyond the fact that i am just fond of vox machina as a party, it is also incredibly refreshing to see people who have diverse opinions about the gods but also actually engaged with opinions (a word which here refers to taking seriously, and not using confirmation bias) beyond those of their insular party.
a while ago ashton with his insistently short sight said he’d like to see the gods pray to mortals — something they’ve always been doing and is in fact a definitive part of their established metaphysical status in exandria — and vox machina is taking on the role in the c3 narrative of proving (once again) that has been the case, but they differ from bh because where bh (as a group) tends to deny the pleas from the gods unless it already serves or proves what they’ve assumed to be true about the world and the gods, vm (as a gorup) took seriously that the gods might have something new to introduce to them. i mean that’s obvious in scanlan and vex, both of whom became champions of gods they hadn’t really even considered in a serious vein prior to speaking to them. and scanlan very much takes on the label of ioun’s champion as a job to be fulfilled in the specific battle, but with vex being pelor’s champion has more significant weight tied to whitestone becoming her home and the fact that she belongs to a community that does, very much, take seriously the symbolic and literal power of the dawn, and she admits she hadn’t really realized the people-ness of the gods themselves until she met the everlight and the dawnfather.
but from the very same community, with a more historical basis in it, we get percy, who is very much uninterested in gods, until of course he might find value in an exchange with them. or, in one of my favourite moments from percy, until he is given hope that his family still exists somewhere beyond his memory of them, even if bound in the divine books of a god that calls him out on his selfish habits. vox machina also has keyleth who is pretty anti-god, not to the degree of ‘let’s kill them’ that we’ve seen in bh, but even when facing them directly, she wasn’t subtle about how little she cares for them, especially when offset by the people that matter much more to her. vm has pike who is the spearhead of the everlight’s return to power, they have grog who fucks with the stormlord’s teachings even if he doesn’t deal with the god part all that much. there’s a multiplicity of god-to-mortal relationships in vox machina that is diverse in a way that bh certainly isn’t, and i think that allows a really interesting deepening of what’s at stake. because, of course, their focus is getting vax out of the orb, but there’s a weight they all carry regarding what happens to the world if it loses the gods, especially if the way they go is through the machinations of a ancient elven jackass.
and i mean it’s a jokey moment but i think an exchange that’s really illustrative of why it’s so nice to get vm who are certain about their stances about the gods and who don’t have to discuss the philosophical implications of their actual lived and material reality is the one between vex and keyleth where they’re discussing stopping predathos and vex jokes that ‘hey maybe predathos gets out and just eats the matron, surely that’d be fine’ and keyleth laughs with her but then they both kind of step out of that and are still committed to fighting predathos. because as keyleth emphasizes in her speech, exandria belongs to a collective, one made up of people who both hate and love the gods and though vex and keyleth both hate one god in particular, they have the awareness to treat that as their own issue, not one worth risking exandria to solve. anyway. this isn’t super well put and maybe i’ll elaborate some other time but i’ve seen a lot of people being bitter about vox machina showing up (which is their right!) but saying they’re only there in ways that detract from the narrative (i obviously disagree) so i just wanted to put into words why i think that’s wrong (though to be clear i don’t doubt that the fact that vm is cr’s personal blorbos plays a significant hand in the fact that vm showed up, they just also are succeeding (to me) at having a narrative purpose as well)
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Yandere Batfam: Incentives
TW: description of yandere mentalities and actions (obsession, possessive tendencies, stalking, etc)
Tags: Yandere! Batfam x reader
Bruce Wayne: The Epitome of a Hero
Batman without fail has proven himself a near-perfect hero, impressive for the fact that he's first generation and had tackled Gotham's cursed land. But obviously, as with any being on earth, the stress of the facade weighs on him. The stretch between the isle of Bruce Wayne and the Scowl of Batman no longer cut clean. They blur and tear at him ravenously until he sometimes feels he is nothing but a ghost of obsession, of a boy in the middle of an alley with his parent's blood puddled around his knees.
Bruce, in essence, needs something to define himself, he is a man who cares for his partners painfully (each robin has chiseled a part of himself out) and yet he cannot choose them over his city (over his villains). He has nobody else to define who he is, he is nothing without them and as much as he loves being their father the cowl is the only thing he has left of what was once an unbreakable will
The darling plays a sort of anchor, a guide, a definition that Bruce can cling onto. For Bruce who cannot say confidently that he can live truly as either a civilian or a hero without regret, his darling is all he has to cling to. For even should he forsake his sacred code that defines him, forsake his morals that he clings to, and go off the deep end never to return he can still manage to drench himself in you.
You're in his bones, his flesh, and on his lips at all times of the night and day, the cowl and fatherhood are at his core and as they conflict, chipping away at him and forcing him into nothing but a broken mess you seep into the cracks and fill him up until all of him is nothing but you, you, you. Your scorn, your praise, all of what you say, you're what he can finally define himself off of.
It doesn't matter if your nails drag into his skin as a punishment, or even if you carve your woes into his flesh with a knife. He will take them as his law all the same he will revere your kisses, your soft touches, and your smiles. His unbreakable will is nothing in the end as long as he has you.
You have him in the palm of his hand, your word is law, you define who he is with your mood, whether he is a failure and must strive to be better or whether he can finally rest is all up to you.
Even from a young age when childhood should have been grass stains and scraped knees, Dick has always known an audience's eyes and dizzying heights. He knows his role, his actions and his expressions are all being watched, and taken into account and he knows best how to play the role of the easily lovable. Responsibility and acting all of this have been him forever, he's a natural at it. Basically, its second nature for him to mold himself into the one everyone likes, he knows the script and he plays it well
Richard Grayson: The golden boy
His entire life has been a role, something that he has to put his all into acting, the perfect robin, the leader of the titans, the leader of the young justice league, Nightwing-the vigilante who garners the respect of heroes and law alike. It is a tightrope walk of never-ending smiles and actions and if he slips it all comes crashing down and he cannot risk it. If he bows to the weight on his shoulders, even if it's all too much he has far too much to lose. Of course, he loves being loved, and he genuinely does love his family, loves his pseudo father and his little brothers and his friends but he knows who they love and it might not be him as a person.
The darling for him is a slow burn. a t first their a sort of self-fulfillment, just a little fix of appreciation from his favorite person, but the more he visits them, the more he drops some prefixes, is able to be a little rougher around the edges he gets lost in it, the brunt of his feelings finally flooding out from the cracks in his perfect facade and you're his addiction. He needs you to need him, to like him, to adore him he needs you to approve of who he is without the flashing lights and cameras. It's a strange mix of needing your approval to prove that he's still balancing, that the weight hasn't yet managed to take hold and drag him down, and needing you to see the fact that he is a broken grieving man. He's been used and weaponized and he just needs to know that outside of that Richard Grayson is still useable, love him outside of his role, be his everything meld your existence into his he's begging you
It comes to a point that he can almost no longer separate where you begin and where he ends, and he's never felt so intoxicated, so in love, because if love isn't the way he can barely focus, his brain clouding over and the way he basically turns into an animal for you, your loyal little dog he doesn't know what could possibly count. As long as he has your praise, your approval, and your need for him he's a brainless pet. Just love him, love him, love him or he might finally fall.
What many forget about the second robin is though he is the robin who crosses the lines others won't, the one who sees things to a more permanent end, Jason is the one who is more in tune with his emotions. They overwhelm him and lead him more than rationality but Jason has emotions, he bares his heart on his sleeve, and others are simply too blind to see it. Perhaps it's because of this strange self-awareness, of how fucked he is, how broken he is that he cannot delude himself in the same way his family does. He cannot seem to meld himself with you(how could something like him even think of being one with someone like you), but he's so desperate for the connection.
Jason Todd: The monster
In comparison to the other robins, Jason understands that he is replaceable. It's so easy to swap him out with any other broken street rat, hell he might even argue it would be an improvement. He's watched Gotham from its sewer, eyes glancing over crime alleys streets from broken street lights as a child, how women were beaten into submission by men with too much audacity and beer on their breath, how good men would be turned to corpses and looted, how children stood on corners and Gotham nods her head because his city is nothing it not vile and rotten in its core
He has known death intimately and hates life just a little bit more because there isn't anything he can feel truly justifies how Gotham lets the sewage and filth thrive. He's never had the luxury of childhood, of the safety of a child's innocence because he's aware that life isn't a gift, it's a cesspool of sin prepping souls on earth for hell. There's nothing good, but there are people who need protection from it and Jason goes about his days repenting for existing because there's no divinity, no god other than the men who see themselves on the top of the chain. There's no god before you.
His darling is a light, something near untouchable, someone who can do no wrong. Jason is the type of delusional where he can justify every single thing Darling can ever say or do, say the skies green and he’ll rearrange the dictionary just to prove you right. You in a sense define what is good or evil, something invaluable, something so good that they could even pity him. A benevolent deity bestowed open Gotham and he'd be damned if he let anything from the street touch you. Jason is the robin who came back wrong, the killer, the monster, the black sheep of the family of maniacs who want better from the world, and he's disgusting but he'll do anything for you.
In a sick way, he already knows well how his presence is painfully unworthy of you, but he longs, craves, and hungers for you all the same. He's reverent in his treatment. If he cannot connect with you by becoming one he'll be your loyal slave, your servant to the ends of the earth, his hands are already stained but even his own sins become virtues if there for you. He lives and breathes on you, everything he does is for you until the dead bodies piling his work are but offerings, sacrifices all for you. Carve a place in your body for him to reside, for him to leash himself upon so he can hide and forever more belong to you. A Divine and their monster acolyte.
Tim is a being born of neglect, constant patronization, rejection, and scorn. His only sense of motivation had been at first obsession without a sense of preservation. Tim has always known nothing but a world where he has to be able to provide to earn his right to stay, to exist. He knows intimately what it's like to be looked through, to be invisible, to have his own name replaced with another, or to have never been born, so like money he exchanges himself and all his actions in a transactional way. Every relationship for him is a simple give and take, he gives them what they want, and they let him stay and remember his name. As long as Tim is functioning and working he can't be thrown away, can't be truly invisible. As long as he is working he is kept.
Tim Drake: The Forgotten
Tim is smart, he knows how to run the table, and play the game and he does it well, he knows exactly how to pick apart everyone around him. Tears into them and learns, absorbs, and sees what they need, how he needs to act, what he needs to provide, and remakes himself for the sake of their approval. From the constant twists and turns of his character, Tim knows how to seek out the role, how to play it, how to thrive in it, Tim sees everything, and thus he is left feeling empty because nobody sees him. Something carnal in him screams for something, anything to tear him apart as well, to meet his obsession with their own.
His darling is someone who he needs to ruin him, he needs them to dissect him, to cut him up and tear away everything and covet his entrails. He's begging you to tear away at him, until Red Robin is nothing until Drake Wayne is but a far away title, and see him, see Time in all he is. Obsessive, disgusting, and desperate. He needs his darling to keep digging even as they see this and decide he's good enough to continue unraveling, to rip him open and keep something of him in your pocket.
As is apparent the relationship with his darling is almost masochistic in a way, with a clear power dynamic but what is to be noted is that while he is desperate he will never truly give up control. He knows when he is being manipulated, but he thrives on it, that you've picked him apart and have decided him worthy to manipulate, you get what he allows but he allows a lot for you. He wants his darling to devour him whole, to stitch themselves into a Frankenstein monster just as he has with them. Take on his mannerisms, remember his coffee order, his eye color, anything. He'd thrive just knowing they have a photo of him somewhere in their pocket. (as if it equates to the massive amounts of video he has on you, the photos, the cameras, the trackers, the microphones, the bugs, and chips)he just needs you to know who he is. He needs you to prove that Timothy Drake truly exists.
What most cannot see off the bat due to confident words and even more confident actions is that the most familiar feeling Damian is acquainted with is unsurity. He is a being born with a purpose, and the purpose was not to be human, it was to be heir, to be a leader to be everything that he needed to be. His life is a mix of criteria he needs to meet, of missions and proving himself and needing to be perfect, needing the validation of praise and a good grade. He is the heir of a league of assassins and yet he can no longer kill, he is the protege of a notorious hero and yet he contemplates lethality for too much, day in and day out Damian defines himself by this conflict and with true humanity alluding him, he cannot tell truly who he is.
Damian Wayne: The heir
The source of his need for competency comes from fear of inadequacy. Because if he cannot fit the criteria given, if he cannot prove himself worthy then does he even have the right to exist? When he has been born for a role he can no longer call his own, where does that leave him? Lost, he's lost and wandering and he thinks something is rotting in him. It plagues him, the fact that Damian Wayne is a leader, son, brother,heir but not human.
His darling in his case plays the role of safe haven, a little home in the form of flesh and blood where he can bury himself alive. He needs the surety they bring, there is no throne, no rubric or evaluation, there is only their own eyes and lips and Damian's own heart in their hands. They are his humanity, if Damian is a role then they are his wants and needs, they are his tears and very heart, he's sure if he could tear his chest open his darling would be there, cradled precisely within his ribs. In their arms Damian feels so painfully useless that he remembers he too has lungs that need air, that he too has basic needs, he feels helpless and ragged and he thinks that this sort of helplessness can be nothing but love.
Darling is living proof that Damian Wayne has something to himself outside of Robin, outside of al-Ghul, and outside of his last name. He is flawed, he sleeps and dreams and cries and is so very weak. He eats from the palm of your hand, everything that makes him disgustingly weak, mortal, he's putty in your hands, even if you were to feed him poison he would drink greedily. The thought of death, the foe that drove his grandfather to the pits over and over again, feels no harder than a feather brush with your arms around him.
Alfred: extra
Apologies
He is far too old to fancy himself a darling, and far too sensible to feel infatuation as strongly as his wayward family but he can care, and he can love and he would do anything for his family as he always has
Of course, he feels bad, lucid as he is he can see how they covet you, how they stress you and pull you so thin you might disappear but he cannot let you go, he hopes you forgive him.
He does pity you, is fond of you and your softer nature in the cave of monsters that lurk around for you as their sole prey and he’ll protect you as much as he can but ever since they've had you the manor has a bit lighter and they've smiled so much more he cannot truly let you go
He’ll provide everything but freedom, he'll coddle you through the transition and until he too must take his place in a grave but he begs of you to stay by his family of beasts
You're his only hope
Author's Note: Dipping my toes back into writing - if this seems familiar it's because it's a reupload! I was previously known as lovesick laboratories but my mental health took a nose dive but I'm back!
Tags: yandere batfam, yandere dc, yandere batfam x reader, bruce wayne x reader, dick grayson x reader, jason todd x reader, tim drake x reader, damian wayne x reader
#yandere batfam#yandere dc#yandere batfam x reader#bruce wayne x reader#dick grayson x reader#jason todd x reader#tim drake x reader#damian wayne x reader
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Kinda sorta sleeping beauty AU
A!Eddie as a bard whose songs & plays are known throughout the land & for this feat of artistic affluence he is knighted, given a Kings Favor which is a kind of brooch/badge of honor tht means the King will grant him a single wish (which Eddie decides he will cash in at a later date) & tht he's able to travel the kingdom & their allies without fear of being accosted & he is to b welcomed in noble or common homes as an honored guest & to ensure no thieves r able to take it from him the court mages bind the Favor to him so tht if it is ever taken it will appear back upon his person by sunset. So Eddie uses his new allowance from the crown to build his uncle a better home, and once tht is done Eddie feels restless as spring thaws winter. So he hugs his uncle goodbye to set off wandering.
Some months pass, spring has turned to summer & he arrives in the fishing town of Loch Nora. It’s strangely the only town situated along a lake tht is as large as a sea with an island barely visible in the distance due to fog. He is welcomed into the home of the richest family in the town, the Wheelers r merchants who distribute much of the fish caught to many other towns including noble families.
As Eddie explores the town he comes upon an abandoned noble keep with a dagger stabbed into the front doors shining as if new, & when visiting one of the 3 pubs of the town he's told a tale of a noble family tht once oversaw the prosperity & protection of the lake, but the story goes tht some 100 years ago the lord & the only heir left in the night & tht they locked the doors of their great home w a parchment tacked upon the door w the silver dagger tht informed the townspeople they had failed in their duties to the lake & now had to give it their dearest treasures & tht one day a cowardly knight would have to overcome trials & win back their treasures from the waters to claim as his own, tht when this is done the town will know prosperity again. The patrons then speculate abt the gold & jewels likely thrown to the water by the missing lord & heir.
This is how Eddie learns no one has been able to pull the dagger from the door even after the parchment had disintegrated w time, tht the fishermen have been catching fewer & fewer fish in recent decades, tht the water of the lake hasn't nourished crops properly in nearly 5 years, animals they used to hunt in the surrounding woods have seemingly disappeared, while the animals raised within town for food often die from illness suddenly without warning for the last 3 months, & tht since there is no noble family the town receives no allowance from the crown. This troubles Eddie & he's sad to hear this tale of woe especially after confirming the towns troubles w the Wheeler patriarch, he falls asleep tht night wishing to figure out a way to help the townspeople.
Then he is dreaming, he's standing barefoot at the edge of the water under the light of the full moon. He's looking out through fog at the dark outline of the island in the lake, the water is calm but he can see dark shapes too large to b ordinary fish moving under its surface, he looks to his right & finds a small row boat but as he takes a step towards it he realizes the water had surged up around his ankles. Then something is grabbing him & dragging him into the waters, as he thrashes to get away to try to claw his way back to shore he quickly realizes he cannot escape & resolves to fight as this is his dream, there is a sudden weight in his hand & he finds he's brandishing the shining silver dagger of the abandoned keep, then he wakes up in his bed.
The day after his dream he spends probably too much time standing at the front doors of the keep, staring at the dagger, bc without his notice a beta woman is beside him. She asks if he knows the story of the keep & when Eddie says he heard it from the townspeople she laughs. She introduces herself as Robin then says they only know a portion of the tale, tht the whole story is much more interesting, & tht the lord did leave behind his dearest treasure w the lake but memory can get foggy thru the years especially if a story is never written down so they've forgotten exactly what it was the lord considered a treasure. It isn't until Eddie has glanced to the door & back to find Robin gone tht he realizes she said treasure & not treasures.
[Part 1 of 3]
color me intrigued 👀
(link to part two)
#slick sunday#steddie#steddie omegaverse#omega steve harrington#alpha eddie munson#steve x eddie#omegaverse#a/b/o#my asks
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A few times, I've heard Lisa and Rojda talk about how Young Royals is about the class system and a queer Prince, but also, it's relatable because not only do the cast look like teenagers, they act like teenagers in today's world. So it's also a show about teenagers. With that in mind, I'd like to talk about Simon Eriksson, working class, immigrant, and mixed race student at Hillerska, falling in love with the Prince.
Simon, in S1, deliberately kept any problems about Sara and his life at Hillerska hidden from his mum because he did not want to burden her. He lied to reassure her when she'd get worried about Sara and equally made decisions to help Sara's wellbeing at school. It seemed that he was taking care of his mum and sister when his dad left and after the abusive relationship that seemed to have really affected the whole family. This is why he doesn't share anything bad that he's going through with his mum. He's trying to protect her. He always has.
As to the comments he is getting. I think he is reading them because often they concern his family and are from the people in their town. That, along with the phone calls at night and hate-mail mentioned by Linda at the court hearing in S3 ep1, this means that he's on hyper-vigilance about threats to him and his family. So, my theory is that he is monitoring his comments and engaging to try to defuse things. But just like in all 3 seasons, his actions often lead to more problems.
This is a 16 year old kid, the youngest in his family, doing things an adult should be doing. This is very relatable for many working-class single parent families. Something to add about first-generation kids of immigrant families, having an extra layer of working to help the family navigate the country and society they're in.
Also, as to the comments, there have been many real life incidents, unfortunately , of teenagers getting hate comments online from their peers and bullied to the point of taking their own lives. Simply telling them not to read the comments may not have worked for them. (Yet so many reactors to this season think it's that simple).
Simon is getting a volumous amount of hate comments, which started right after the sex video was released in S1. At that point, the comments were in the print media.
He needs actual support, less obliviousness from the adults in his life about what is happening to him (that includes the Royal Court), and understanding about the actual effect of comments on his mental health from everyone around him. He is a victim of actual hate, and when I hear about any child going through that kind of regular abuse, my heart goes out to them.
Seeing how supportive Simon's dad could be in this 3rd season in his conversations with Sara, we can see how much Simon actually misses his dad. Because had he had a relationship with him, without the baggage of Sara's need for distance, he would have probably noticed that Simme needed help and been quite good at it, when he could manage it.
However, we as the audience seem to be blinded by Wille's more important problems, partly because the show is largely from his POV, but also because his pressures seem bigger. As a result, I've seen fans come down on Simon for not putting his life's woes in perspective to support Wille more. We start to see big cracks in their relationship and start to feel that they just won't work out.
But, they're also just kids in their first relationship. Miscommunication is completely normal at that age. They've only just been spending actual time with each other this season and getting to know each other. Yet they are dealing with adult problems, and so many of us fans are shouting at the screen - talk to each other! I feel like, if I were one of them, there is so much weight on me that I'd be too scared to open the floodgates and actually tell my boyfriend what's happening because I don't want to scare him. And no wonder they spend most of their time making out. It's the easiest part of their relationship and what gives them actual joy at the moment.
So I give grace to these characters and kudos to the creators of the show, for showing ACTUAL teenagers dealing with real life problems, amplified for drama because of the dichotomy of being a Prince and a commoner. But, I don't judge ANY of the characters when I apply the same analysis I've given here to Simon to all the other four characters. What this show requires of us adults is empathy for their plight and maybe a closer look at the teenagers in our lives. What it does for the teen audience is show them that they're not alone when they mess up or are dealing with life pressures. We as a society won't judge them. We will work to understand them and share their burdens.
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MANNA- CHAPTER THIRTEEN: TEA
Dark!Hannibal Lecter x Reader x Dark!Will Graham AU fic
TW for eating disorders, noncon, abuse, drugging, Daddy kink, implied child abuse and more
Read after the cut...
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For a near week your deceptive submission endures, the hours newly tightened by a schedule your host has contrived to divert you from your anti-appetite.
Days rise from the borderless veil of time like castles from a dawn mist. Made a school child again, you sit before documentaries and foreign art films, take up a journal whose pages bear but glances of your internal woe.
You find yourself wishing that you could write with any particular talent.
As a girl you’d yearned to be an author, never daring to materialise the urge with any substantial effort. Now you can’t imagine you’ll ever be allowed so loose-penned a profession, if any at all, kept covetously home and infantilised until you cannot think beyond a fraction of words.
Why, then, does Hannibal go to such arduous lengths to educate you? Surely it is only so that—before the eyes of peers—you'll be the cultured averment of triumph through therapy.
In the soirees of your doctor's hopes you cleave, willing, to his side, bewitching the throng with smirking witticisms before sucking his cock with that same clever mouth when the last guest steps, merry and ignorant, into the night.
Already Hannibal aspires to materialise that abstraction. You find proof enough of it in the wardrobe he’s amassed for you, which expands as the days progress.
Some of his choices are attractive to you, reluctant though you are to consider this— long velvet gowns in puce, umber, black, blouse and skirt co-ordinations plucked from the runway, some still in boxes emblazoned with designer names.
Others of the selection offend you, however, in their bald intent for closed-door wear. Girlish dresses in light chiffon, corseted silk in flowering lace. Short necks and hemlines, some of them scarcely reaching the knee. Then there are sheer nightclothes stored in perfumed sheets, no practicality but for the sort of sleeping in which no slumber is to be had.
You’re to dress like some obscure young celebrity, a whimsical echo of an era thirty years passed. Still, there is an attempt in this incredible closet to appease you as well as to change, adapting your preferences to a style acceptable to Hannibal’s eye.
It’s of particular note to you that the garments are each the same size, implying that you haven’t gained significant weight since your last awareness of its value. Conceivably the labels might have been replaced, but it’s so unlikely a trick that the theory is quickly thrown out.
Hannibal is inviting you to trust his process with a peace offering of equilibrium, the second-best prize to starvation.
You are not such a fool as to take it yet, though in action you may appear to have done so.
When in the presence of your keepers you remain in unwavering character, an amplified, changeling copy of the child you'd once been. In this way you're allowed your little misbehaviours—pulling a face at food you do not like, or the shrugging rejection of an idle caress.
So long as you sit at meals, and don’t speak in any manner that threatens the illusion of family you are unharmed, and laden with unending gifts. It would be a winning childhood, had you been born into it through a far less insidious violence than that which brought you here.
Still, the awareness that you must simper and lisp for another month before you venture an escape soon wears upon your tolerance.
One Saturday morning, alone in your room, the silence of that cushioned cell amplifies your every thought to a piqued tenor.
You miss when hunger bled like smoke through your skull, ridding its halls of all but its fey shape. With a scalding clarity you behold what you are now: a homunculus, the issue of diablerie, cut small by men’s black magic.
You cast yourself amidst a tide of cushions and mimic your own words upon them in a bitter snarl.
“‘Yes, Daddy’”, ‘no, Daddy’. ‘Little one’. Oh God! It’s all so stupid. Stupid!”
An involuntary laugh chatters through you like a coin thieved from a beggar’s cup, hateful and maniacal. Yet you perform this anger as you do the docile coquette, the bounds between that self and your own a gradient that softens by the day.
It’s become rather easier to be a monster’s daughter than a woman, this you cannot deny. The longer you are extracted from the world the less you’ll remember of how to live within it, if you ever knew, before.
The misery of this thought proves too much to bear.
You cry until your head is as hot about the brow as a horseshoe turned white from the forge. The sobs wrench the muscles of your stomach in two pained halves, and still you weep until you laugh again, thinking how deranged you’d sound to any eavesdropper in the rooms below.
Afterwards you sit very quietly, like an ailing bride in a Victorian novel; you are, after all, very ill, and it suits you well to behave so.
Having nothing better to do, you switch on the television and skim through the channels with neither aim nor interest.
Thin, beautiful women populate the screen, their waists like darner flies, their wrists as narrow as your thumb. Even the history programmes feature experts with trim figures in sensible interview dresses.
Perturbed, you flick on and on until you find something on eighteenth century Paris, hosted by a grandfatherly old professor marked safe from scrutiny in the absence of compare.
You watch until your lids fall, thinking of catacombs full of monk bones, the cloying scent of ancient death, each as forgotten under dust as you are by all those who once loved you, and revered by those who never have.
In the afternoon Hannibal wakes you gently by turning the television off at the set.
“Are you feeling alright, little one?” he asks. “It’s unusual for you to sleep in so late.”
You hum in a noncommittal fashion, scarcely bothering to open your eyes.
Perhaps he’ll let you drowse the day away; you’d dream through all horrors like this, should your insomnia give you reprieve. A week, a month, a year sold to the sandman in exchange for peace— yet the dark would follow you there, also, antlered men in imagined night.
“You’ve been in bed long enough,” says Hannibal, peeling back your sheets with a brisk tug. “Up you get. Alana is visiting us this evening. She’ll have some questions for you.”
Weakly attempting to thieve back the blanket, you say, “I really don’t feel like talking to her. Can’t you do it? Please?”
“Jack won’t be satisfied with a second-hand report. Alana must see that you’re comfortable here. Not a particular incentive for you, but I can provide others.”
You open one eyelid, enticed by this readiness to bargain.
“So what do I get if I say yes?”
“A light dinner,” says Hannibal. “And—depending on your behaviour—perhaps another reward we’ll negotiate later tonight.”
At this you sit up; starving is a precious contraband in the doctor’s abode, worth more to you than every decadent thing under its rafters.
“Feeling better already, I see,” says Hannibal, through one of his charitable smiles. “Please stand by the mirror and allow me to dress you.”
Unbidden there comes the thought of his hand under your skirts, pressing inwards like a starfish sucking at a stone.
“Oh, come on, Dad,” you say, in flustered haste. "Really?”
“There’s a certain picture I’d like to create for Alana’s benefit,” he insists. “One of wellness and serenity. Your selections tend to imply something far more brooding and morose.”
With a testy little sigh you slip out of bed, rubbing your arms free of rising gooseflesh.
“You bought me those ‘brooding and morose’ outfits, remember, Dad? What does that say about you?”
“That I seek to please you,” says Hannibal, touching your mouth with playful thumb. “Today I hope that you’ll return the gesture.”
He holds aloft a pastel blue dress in transparent lace, a beaded line of detailing pointing downwards at the hips in a suggestive v.
“I don’t know,” you say, far more sharply than intended. “It’s short. And I don’t like the colour.”
“The shade will suit you,” Hannibal replies. “And you’ll wear a shift underneath for modesty, if that’s your concern.”
You don’t bother with reproof; he’s guiding you out of your nap-rumpled clothes and into the dress before you can think of an excuse he’ll entertain.
Unresisting, you only glance aside, breathing shallowly so as not to brush your chest against him as he adjusts your collar.
That Hannibal hasn’t made love to you since you shared a bed makes you think that he’s waiting for something, a moment fermented to sweeten the sex. He is, you warrant, as driven by pleasure as any man, being only of a tighter and more methodical restraint.
You can’t decide whether you’re glad of the wait or if you’d prefer he throw you down on your bed and ravish you now to have done with it.
Doubtless Hannibal considers an identical dilemma, turning you before him like a ballerina in a mirrored jewellery box.
“Even the greats couldn’t hope to replicate this image of you,” he says, as he inspects his work. “To attempt it would have them rending the canvas to pieces rather take credit for their failure.”
The compliment is long forgotten when, later, Alana breaches the house, her pretty face above her mulberry blouse like a lily in a violet bouquet.
Her casual manner in kissing Hannibal’s cheek at the door suggests a social visit, as does the gift of white wine under one thin arm. Still, she remembers her duty, taking you aside with a subtle professionalism within two minutes of having greeted her host.
Her kindness is a shingle in a cyclone, dashed away by the futility of its own existence.
“Dr Lecter told me you’re doing a lot better than when I last saw you,” says Alana, placing one of her graceful hands atop your own without comment as to its frigidity. “Are you feeling more positive now, or would you disagree with that?”
Slipping your fingers out from under hers, you say, “Well, I have a TV now. I’m allowed to do a lot more things I’m actually interested in. That helps. Thanks for that, by the way. I know you talked Dr Lecter into it.”
Smiling, Alana says, “I can’t take credit for that. He was already making preparations when I brought it up. He's racked up quite the shopping bill.”
The notion of Hannibal navigating the catalogues of online stores is ridiculous, somehow anachronistic, but then again you’ve witnessed him tapping at a sleek iPad, a jarring sight, on every occasion.
“How about mealtimes?” asks Alana. “I understand you’re working towards a plan that’s easier for you.”
“It’s still hard,” you mumble. “Tough. You know.”
Your eyes are on Alana’s patent court shoes, picturing a blandly organised rack of identical heels in alternate shades. Perhaps ankle boots for the colder days. Simple. Nothing flash.
Alana pauses, quickly assessing your disinterest in the exchange.
“Hannibal says he’d like you to agree to more therapy sessions,” she says. “He feels you’re opening up. I think we both know that’s probably wishful thinking on his side, but don’t shoot him down just yet.”
“I won’t,” you say. “Couldn’t anyway, right?”
Alana rearranges her discomfort into another closed-lipped smile. You can’t envision that lipstick ever moving, striped across her face as yours has been by both of the friends that she holds dear.
“So how are things between you and Will now?” enquires Alana, quite on cue. “Rumour has it you’re getting along like a house on fire.”
Truthfully Will has rather cooled since the night of the seizure, his envy retreating to the black of some inner primordial cave. He seems both caustically amused by your recent performance and cynical of its longevity, yet neither judgement is as severe as before.
The thought of your kindness sits with him, has been taken up with the cagy hunger of an orphan to a heel of bread. Piece by piece you’ve given him more of it in flirting words, but these he’s yet to take, turning each away with a smirk.
“Don’t try so hard,” he’d said, only a day ago, but when you’d thrown an idle foot across his lap as you read a book beside him he hadn’t removed it, only pretended to ignore the intrusion.
“Me and Will are okay,” you say to Alana. “That’s all.”
You must give away something of your successes in your expression, for Alana’s mouth twitches into a coy grin.
“Just okay?”
At that moment Hannibal knocks on the open door, a merciful trespass, setting you free of her.
*
As promised, you’re offered a modest salad while Hannibal and Alana make their way through numberless courses over the gifted wine.
At first you’re too absorbed in the mortification of eating in front of the other woman to pay attention to their mounting chemistry, dragging the same tattered leaf through streams of congealing oil.
It’s only as you’re making a fortress of cutlery across a lump of uneaten meat that you take full stock of the flirting at work before you.
Though attempts are made by both parties to fold you into the conversation they are mild at best, almost neglectful.
Alana glances up into Hannibal’s eyes in frequent, laughing enjoyment, touching his shoulder or forearm lightly; he, for his part, looks upon her lips and the curves of her form and speaks fondly to her, his voice hushed with a want of sex.
You’ve heard it often enough to know it, and should be glad to have his attentions otherwise distracted.
Yet your hands creep under the table, squeezing your thighs and stomach as though to claw out the matter you've ingested through your meat.
"I'm done," you blurt out, cutting across Hannibal's opinion of a recent classical performance he’s attended. "Can I go upstairs?"
It's with difficulty that you bite off the habitual 'Dad' that has replaced 'doctor' in your vocabulary.
Hannibal offers you a near invisible look of disgruntlement at the interruption, quickly mollified by Alana's fingers at his elbow.
"I'm sure we're boring you," she says. "Go on up and relax. You don't have to stick around just to be polite."
You glance at Hannibal, seeking his approval before you stand. His eyes, within so static a face, are black glass in their suspicion.
"I'll come up to speak to you later on," he says, at last. "If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask for it."
Rather than go immediately to your den above you linger to watch as the couple drink in the parlour, so close as to almost be in one another’s arms.
You see from Hannibal's relaxed posture that he is not ablaze with a fascinated love for Alana as he is for Will; he holds her merely with the affection of an old friend, and, too, with an uncomplicated desire.
He would never rape Alana Bloom; such violence, to Hannibal, is an entry into a cabal of which she has no part. Her value to him is as representation of his treasured comforts, and all that which Hannibal would not willingly change.
Alana is as used for her parts as you are, in her way, and oblivious to it, like some grinning scarecrow blind to the birds that snicker and creep at its back.
Yet as you watch her lean, murmuring, into Hannibal’s neck you feel a tooth of ice grind through your heart and turn away, feeling numbly for the bannisters behind you.
Almost on hands and knees you climb the steps to your bed, brought low by that astonishing cold.
Pausing at the bathroom you prostrate yourself at the toilet’s mercy, still unable to empty yourself of the pain and bile you'd evict to be naked of your jealousy.
In surrender you rest your head on the cool floor and remain there even after the compulsion to vomit subsides.
If you cannot flog yourself for your sins as the saints did then this will do, sprawled before the porcelain God of another degredation.
Presently the bathroom door creaks open, striking an unwanted rod of light across your face.
“Go away,” you mutter, wiping your face with an angry scrub of your knuckles. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
Hannibal looks at you with a minister’s pious severity.
"I see. So I was correct. You object to Alana and I having a sexual relationship. Any other father would sternly inform you that it’s none of your business, and as your therapist it’s even less so.”
Raising your head, you snap at him as fiercely as you dare.
“What about me?”
“My friendship with Alana is very different to what you and I share,” says Hannibal, and you snort, wiping a stream of clear mucus across your lips.
“I’ll bet.”
Hannibal turns his head at a quizzical angle, and you perceive the very second of his understanding like the unveiling of some trick.
“You must explain yourself, darling,” he says. “What is it about this that has upset you?”
The logical answer should be that you wish to save Alana from him, that you cannot watch her beaming, black-haired head roll out from under the axe.
Instead, you blurt out, “Don’t you get it, Dad? How it makes me feel? You’re supposed to understand me, and I’m pretty sure you do. You knew that it would hurt me. You did this on purpose the way you wave me around in front of Will.”
Using the sink to right yourself you get to your feet, standing on pathetic, defiant tiptoe so that you might gaze into the devil’s face directly.
“If you have to do this, then please, just me. Just me. I can’t stand it. It makes me feel sick to think about you and her together. Knowing you’ll touch me afterwards. Don’t do this to me. Please."
“I see,” says Hannibal.
He speaks with such calm that you deflate from your anger at once.
“Very well,” he says. “I can make an excuse for Alana to leave. Would that please you, little one?”
This time you don’t answer, only stare at him with huge and terrible eyes until he retreats to the stairway.
“Oh, god,” you say, under your breath. “Amy, you’d really hate me right now, wouldn’t you?”
You hear Hannibal and Alana talking in low undertones, the female voice a coo of thoughtful sympathy. In time Alana collects herself to leave, but only when her car propels itself quietly from the driveway does Hannibal come to you again.
By now you’re sitting at your dresser, making a humiliated attempt to recollect your dignity with cosmetics. You know that Hannibal will not like what you’d made of your face—the eyes painted black, your lips the colour of your heart, a sinking, well-bound stone.
Yet all he says as he stands behind you is, “Look at me, little one.”
Your hand shakes, blotting your eyelid with an errant apostrophe of mascara.
“Don’t want to.”
“I know. I’d like you to, even so.”
The gentleness of Hannibal’s voice is an agony to you. You’ve never hated nor been more drawn to him than you are now, this impossible spirit in the vessel of a man.
Stiffly you turn on your chair, meeting his gaze to find it truly repentant.
“I won’t make love to Alana again,” says Hannibal, and you know as you do the reality of elements that he does not lie. “I see that this triggers your fear of abandonment too greatly. But it might not be possible for me to avoid all romantic advances.
“There are rumours abound as to our arrangement already, and it will seem suspicious if I don’t take a lover. But I’ll do my best to be faithful to our family.”
He pauses, watching you battle to suppress your disgust for him, for yourself, for all things in the bracken of his design.
“For now, I’d like you to relax,” says Hannibal. “This level of distress will make you ill. I’m concerned that it already has.”
Taking you by a hand as clammy as mermaid skin he leads you down to the living room to serve you from a pot of fragrant tea.
Though its calorific value is likely near to air you catastrophize with immediacy, unable to touch the cup, let alone drink.
“I’m not doing it on purpose this time,” you babble. “I’m not, Dad, please, you’ve got to believe me.”
Hannibal raises a hand to caress you— that, and only that, and yet you shrink against the couch in expectancy of a blow.
An appalled look tightens Hannibal’s expression, a hypocrisy of which he seems endlessly capable.
“There, now,” he says. “I can tell the difference between unruliness and genuine struggle. You and I both know that tea is only leaves and water— why do you believe against logic that it will affect your weight?”
“I don’t know,” you say, with a helpless shake of the head. “I feel like if I drink it I won’t be able to stop myself. I’ll eat and eat until I’m... big, and then I won’t be able to go back to the way I was. Everyone will see me differently. Treat me like they used to. People can be cruel.”
“And none crueller than you are to yourself,” says Hannibal, and he eases the cup between your hands so that you must take it or scald yourself raw. “There is nothing shameful in having a body of any kind, and any who judge you for that would wear their foolishness like a flag for all to see. Nevertheless, I’ve balanced your weight here, and will continue to do so if that is what’s needed for you to believe in my intentions.”
He aids you to drink, lifting the cup to your mouth over and over until the last drop. From the bitter taste you know it altered by some drug.
For once you do not care.
The night has left you so ashamed of your bearing that you’re half joyful to be done with it, sinking back as euphoria transforms all things that touch you into nirvana.
Your fingers drape across your body in aimless exploration, stopping only as Will enters the room with Hannibal at his side.
The younger man’s eyebrows jump as you giggle and hide your hands behind your back.
“You’re smiling,” says Will. “And I’m not sure how I feel about the circumstances.”
“Our girl is relieved to see you, Will,” says Hannibal. “A familiar face is a balm for even the most taxing day.”
Will looks from you to Hannibal ponderously.
“Alana was here earlier,” he states.
“She was, much to our little one’s chagrin.”
“Do you have to talk about her?” you interrupt, in loose-tongued irritation.
Hannibal chuckles.
“We do not. There are other topics I’d find far more engaging.”
You watch from under heavy lids as the men discuss the Lover’s case in low, library murmurs.
“Tanya Marrow was found washed up by the Patapsco River this morning,” says Will, with a grim regret. “Her wounds were fresh, meaning the Lover only mutilated Tanya and placed her into the doll when he was ready to throw her away. He was content with how closely she resembled the woman he’s desperate to make, for a while.
“But she wasn’t close enough. In the end he had to remind her that she was just a toy to him, and punish her for her lacking.”
The contrast of these dreary horrors with the rainbow light of feeling through your needy cunt should sicken you, but your mind is in disorder, barely one thought akin to the next.
“We’ve made a breakthrough in regards to the dolls,” Will continues. “The well-made ones are expensive; for one person to have so many implies that the Lover is either a wealthy collector, or that he’s able to access them at a considerable discount. Possibly for free.”
“I’m assuming the factory producing these dolls has been identified,” says Hannibal.
Will swallows a mouthful of whiskey.
“There are only four vendors known to produce the style of doll the Lover uses. Jack’s got someone looking into their customers, narrowing down the suspects to buyers in Virginia. Considering how specialised these clients are that shouldn't take long.”
The older man listens with a solemn intensity, scarcely drinking from his own glass.
“I see the Lover almost exactly now,�� says Will. “He knows he has to take his bride eventually; he’s circling her, choosing women that are closer and closer to her physical proximity. The next target will be someone she knows.
“It’s a dangerous move, but by now the Lover wants someone that’s stood so close to this woman that he can taste her. Imagine her beneath him when he defiles the inferior victim.”
Fear swims, crocodilian, within you, disturbing your narcotic stupor.
Seeming to sense it, Hannibal says, “Let’s continue this line of conversation later on. I wouldn’t want to give our surrogate daughter bad dreams.”
Will glances at you, watching you fumble idly with the hem of your dress.
“You don’t plan to cast her as our daughter in tonight’s play, do you?” he asks, plainly.
“That would unnecessarily chasten the evening,” says Hannibal. “She’s the woman for whom we are legally responsible, and what we deem fit for her continued health is ours to determine.”
You recline across the couch like an empress, watching the firelight glance shadows across your skin like a garment in a dream. Hannibal slips a hand from your shoulder to your breast, teasing the tiffany lace across your nipple, and the warmth and delicacy of the touch breathes through you a shiver of ermine delight.
Only vaguely do you acknowledge your revulsion, a whisper at a keyhole on the other side of the house.
“What did you give her for her to let you touch her like that?” asks Will, curiously.
His hands play upon the sides of his whiskey glass, and the thought of them upon your thighs or between them drives your lower lip between your teeth with unbeckoned desire.
“I’ve offered her release from her spirited rebellion,” says Hannibal. “Even having promised us fealty, this act she wouldn’t easily endure. I wish for her to experience intimacy unhindered by her mental bounds.”
His fingers glance beneath the neckline of your dress and cross your bare skin as a swan's wing meets the sky, rushing a moan from you more akin to a sob in its juddering resonance.
“Besides,” Hannibal continues, “she’s had a trying afternoon. Her body welcomes this.”
Will’s face, washed honey bronze by firelight, is so neutral that even if you were not high you’d fail to extract the mechanisms of thought behind it.
“We’ve both succeeded in bringing her to climax,” says Hannibal, as his other hand folds your skirt against your pelvis. “But never her consent. Tonight, perhaps we will.”
“In this state she has no real autonomy,” Will argues. “We’re witnessing an illusion.”
Hannibal pauses, his face like that of an antiques dealer slyly unveiling some stolen wares.
“Not exactly,” he says. “Little one: you’ve described me as handsome. Do think that Will is good-looking?”
Your concentration wavers as two digits inscribe an ouroboros in your arousal. The wrongness of it all only enhances the sensation, the thought of being a lovely toy for older men to play with.
Your name on Dr Lecter’s lips recalls his question.
“Yes,” you say. “I— I do.”
You don’t know why you’re honest. Even a child, embarrassed, could lie.
Will smiles, and for a moment there is something almost sweet in his expression.
Then the dark of him slithers behind it again with predatory ease, and he leans forward, knees apart, possessed of a revelation of self-assurance.
This is the self he becomes when challenging Dr Lecter, the arrogant observer of all living things.
“I already knew that,” says Will. “I don’t mind hearing it clarified, though.”
You can’t imagine him ever admitting that you’re beautiful in return. Hannibal would, has done so already in such a succulence of language that your mouth could water with it, but not Will, not in so many words.
All that he will allow thus far is that you are not ugly. Blearily you vow to unwind from him his obsession.
“Puppy love,” says Hannibal, looking into your face with a gentle irony. “You’d like him to touch you, wouldn’t you, little one?”
This you don’t answer, and rather than press you again Hannibal makes you come with three fingers inside you, patient as you cry out and roll your head aside in conflict and delirium.
You cannot decide if he means to reward you for your participation with Will or to humiliate you for that same eagerness. It is bewildering and erotic, this envy they have for one another; to quell it you must kneel to the hierarchy, submissive always to your covetous masters.
“Join us, Will,” says Hannibal, at last.
Briefly you think that he won’t, a scoffing lord, above it all.
Then he crosses the room, sets down his whiskey and kisses you, first your mouth, then your neck, leaving the taste of smoke and almonds wherever his lips meet.
Whimpering, you kick your feet on the couch as each petal of ecstasy comes loose from a branch within you.
Sometimes Will’s teeth push against your flesh, not quite biting; Hannibal, on the other side of your neck, gently does, as though inheriting the expected assault from his would-be lover.
His fingers form a cylinder of delight in you, the pad of his thumb undoing another orgasm in a trio of strokes.
“How gifted we are to receive such delights,” says Hannibal, and as you groan he docks his arousal in your own, filling you so entirely with his cock that you think and feel only the fucking and nothing more, a witless hole.
Will brings your hand to his erection, and there is no uncertainty in that motion, nor in his lips about your breast. His rough tongue, the saliva like a paste jewel on your nipple—
Writhing, panting, you stir through pleasure upon pleasure like the layers of the earth, soft, dark, deep.
Your palm tightens on Will’s cock like a night sea about the lighthouse it yearns to bring down, working him with a knowing purpose. As Hannibal continues his pelvic rolls against you Will draws back, avoiding the early release that your cunning fist would bring.
Not once do the men make contact in a sexual manner with each other, and you don’t understand it, this avoidance of the ultimate lust. Yet perhaps it is that they fuck through you, for when Hannibal achieves his orgasm and moves away Will pushes into you without caution of the other man’s seed still warm in that same place.
He looks up into Hannibal’s eyes as he does it, watching his response as he weaves pleasure from a loom of servile flesh.
But then you make some shapeless sound of need, one hand extended, not quite touching him, and Will's eyes return to you with such intensity that you forget that brief, lost woe.
He mimics Hannibal’s command of your body, hands moving, unrushed, from breast to hip as he opens you further to him. His violence is a mage’s dance, something once done around fire, and charged now through the vessel of a young and studious man.
No wonder, then, that you have neither strength nor will to repel him. You roil, loose-limbed as the dead, only your noise and perspiring response to sensation to evidence your ongoing life.
Hannibal’s arms go loosely around you, holding your head in his lap as Will makes love to you with a brooding fervour. Every touch is like the discovery of a new and indescribable existence, having traversed to some frontier of feeling only sects of pleasure have previously founded.
You know yourself wanted by both men, now, feel it through their mutterings of ecstasy, the unending pressure of mouths and hands upon your skin. They crave your wanting of them in return, lap up your slightest sign of it, tainted as it is by Hannibal’s poison.
Will pours in you his ending, his breath a kiss against your eardrum.
You come again with both men gazing upon you, their faces as close and beautiful together as stringed pearls.
Dimly you fear that they will succeed in their work with you, no matter how fiercely you defy their twofold will.
“Hey,” says the younger man, nudging your shoulder lightly. “Snap out of it. You’re bleeding. Did we hurt you?”
Your first thought is, “yes, of course you did.”
The next, having looked down at the red dart through the milk of semen on your thigh, is the same nip of terror you know from an unexpectedly high number on the scale.
The final cognition—and one almost certainly true—is that this carnival of sex has brought that crimson forth like the incitation of bacchanalian madness.
The shock of it wrings you near dry of the doctor’s drug, a bald winter sobriety.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “It’s my period. I haven’t had one in years.”
#manna fic#hannibal fic#hannibal lecter#hannibal lecter x reader x will graham#hannibal lecter x reader#will graham x reader#tw noncon#tw eating disorders#tw bulimia#tw anorexia#tw dubious consent#tw nonconsensual drug use#tw fatphobia
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Romeo, Romeo...
I am now living in a post Romeo & Juliet world. It might well be the only time I get to see it, but honestly what I saw on Saturday is going to stay with me forever. I wanted to put it down into words - my review of this play.
The first part of the experience is the music. We were in the bar and this repetitive rumble sound played over the tannoy, signalling that we were being called to Verona. We took our seats and we waited, all while more and more haze appeared across the sparsely-set stage and the music bore deep into my soul, gnarling and industrial, giving a sense of dystopian doom and foreboding. By the time the lights went out and the video screen showed 1597 in bright red lettering, I was already feeling a nervous nausea and an elevated heart rate.
This play is asking you to pretend, as much as they are. There is no set. There are no props. The actors stand like statues, dotted around, sometimes deep into the back of the stage as if ghostly apparitions. Sometimes the actors talk freely, other times they take their place behind mic stands as if part of a debating society. What happens on stage is coupled with video footage of other actors scattered around the bowels of the theatre, in the narrow backstage corridors, or even the theatre bar (and, of course, the roof). The fourth-wall breaks that often punctuate the end of these short video pieces eally pierce into your soul, looming over you, much like the mood of this whole production.
An example - as Mercutio lay dying, the camera is right in his face so you get the full pain and rage of him as he screams "a plague upon both your houses" and takes his final breaths. All the while, Romeo stands metres away, covered in blood, seething with unbridled rage, tears mixing with the blood of his friend.
The interval moment that follows literally made everyone gasp, a jumpscare that absolutely warrants the gravity of the moment. I won't say more because if there's even a 0.1% chance of you seeing it I don't want it ruined.
The second act of this play is decidedly quieter than the first. Clandestine conversations, whispers between characters, the comedy, gone. The deaths of Thibault and Mercutio loom large as the reality of the consequences kick in. Juliet remains defiant to the last - this is a Juliet who really knows what she wants (supported by Nurse, who is more like an older sister character full of kindness and friendly age-appropriate advice). As the end draws near, and the inevitability of what's about to happen (let's face it, we've all studied it at school, we know what happens!) becomes apparent, the silence in the theatre speaks volumes.
This production challenges you to see the traditional story through a far darker lens, and the blank spaces leave room for the oppressive mood and music to thrive and grow. It asks you to find answers in the quiet as much as the loud. It might be the best known love story of all time but the added weight of the staging proves everything hangs on the final line: "For never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo."
Now. Acting. And oh boy was there acting. I'm going to start with Mercutio (Joshua-Alexander Williams) and Paris (Daniel Quinn-Toye) - two actors who are in their first professional production. What pressure, and how they dealt with it. Particularly Joshua-Alexander! I thought Tomiwa Edun, who played Capulet, Juliet's father, was immense - so sinister in his delivery, he had me convinced he was head of a family and of a gang empire. And Freema Agyeman as Nurse was wonderful, as I said earlier, giving this big sister energy and providing delighful lighter moments against the shade. HUGE mention to Nima Taleghani who not only was an excellent Benvolio but also edited the original text to make it a 1hr 45 version that was powerful and punchy.
Now, our main stars. Francesca Amewudah-Rivers as Juliet was incredible. She was headstrong, she was poised, she was dynamic and still at the same time. She portrayed a Juliet desperate to be free from the confines of her family, but clear that she knew what she wanted from the love (and escape) she sought. The second act belonged to her, her stillness lingering.
And the reason I fought for a ticket, Tom Holland. I've seen him at film premieres and press events, and twice playing golf, but the opportunity to see him do what (as fans) we all know to be his true calling, was irresistible. And oh my God. Honestly I was blown away by his portrayal. Brooding, emotional, at times so quiet you had to strain to hear his lament. And then rage, euphoria, shyness, a fumbling lovesick idiot. Throughout the production he provides so much range, but also so much depth, it's impossible not to feel everything he does.
To see him, clearly in his element, providing a soul to Romeo that I've never felt before - I couldn't be prouder as a fan. For too long he has been tarred with the brush that he is not a "serious actor". As fans we know that The Devil all the Time, Cherry, and The Crowded Room are proof otherwise. This should be the moment the world realises he is INCREDIBLE, to be taken seriously, to be given the respect he is long overdue.
I wish beyond words that I get to see this play again. I hope at the very least it gets an NT live screening so that fans around the world get to witness this amazing, unique, innovative production.
Violent delights indeed have violent ends.
#tom holland#spoilers#romeo and juliet#romeo montague#jamie lloyd#theatre#west end#shakespeare#francesca amewudah rivers#freema agyeman
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What a lot of fans are wondering, myself included, is "Where did MHA go wrong?"
I can think of several points that kick-started the downfall. This is not an exhaustive list, but just a few of the bigger flaws. It's a really long post, especially on the last point.
1. The reveal that AFO was directly responsible for all of Tomura's woes from before he was even born. This completely absolved society and his abusive family of responsibility, thus cheapening the manga's themes centered around those aspects of the manga's world.
2. Excessive focus on Endeavor at the expense of Shouto's feelings, actions, and inner world. It seems that from the Endeavor Agency Arc onward, Shouto's character is constantly underwritten and shoved aside so his father can get more screentime. Shouto's climactic, emotional final fight with Touya is completely undercut by the actual final fight of Touya vs. Endeavor, with the rest of the Todoroki family (Shouto included) basically sidelined to cheer Endeavor on. Even in the last Todoroki family chapter, the primary focus is still on Endeavor's feelings and not Shouto or Touya.
3. The complete character assassination of Izuku Midoriya. He was never the most interesting MC to begin with, but at least he had something going for him in the early arcs. He was weird, brilliant in battle tactics/analysis, brave and determined, endlessly compassionate, and completely insane. He had a real fire in him as a person and, unlike what many fans say, started the series with an awareness of the deep flaws in his society. People always say that the "save the villains" angle was shoved into the story during the first war, but it's clear from the beginning that the way Deku looked at his society already primed him to believe in that idea. During his mall encounter with Shigaraki, he actually showed that he'd carefully considered Stain's message and understood where he was coming from, even if he didn't agree with his actions. This is the story's first indication that if a villain has a genuine gripe with society and can explain it, Deku is willing to listen to what they have to say. Similarly, at the Sports Festival, he doesn't treat Endeavor with any of respect/awe he usually treats heroes with because Endeavor doesn't show the heroic values that Deku believes in.
So what happened to Deku? Honestly, I think he as a character disappeared beneath the weight of The Vestiges of OFA, Becoming The New Symbol of Peace, and Acting As The Author's Mouthpiece.
Joint Training Arc was the first indication that Izuku himself no longer mattered because of the OFA mythos and Vestiges inside him. Now, I don't mind Blackwhip because it diversified his fighting style and gave him a long-range attack. I also appreciated how hard he had to work to use it effectively and consistently. However, all of the other Vestige Quirks seemed to come to him way too easily and he could use them in perfect combinations without trying and against highly skilled adult opponents. The Vestiges started to talk to him constantly and give him advice, so his battle analysis/tactics were no longer necessary and he didn't need to come up with his own ideas anymore. More importantly, his own strong inner sense of justice and awareness of society's need to change was utterly replaced by some mystical Vestige-world bullshit about saving little Tenko. Adult Tomura was right there, clearly explaining his point of view and deep pain, and Deku didn't even listen to him (or really care when Tomura's body started being controlled by AFO). What happened to the independently compassionate boy from the earlier manga?
Being The New Symbol of Peace is another place where Deku had his character steamrolled. As flawed as the arc as a whole was, I actually had hope for him during the Dark Hero Arc. He was asking questions and genuinely trying to understand why villains became villains. He saw how civilians treated people with mutant quirks, listened to Lady Nagant about the HPSC, and witnessed tons of other abuses by society that made him angry. His eyes were opened and his compassion for Tenko Shimura deepened, priming him for the Final Battle where he would save the man and make a stand to change their society forever. Unfortunately, due to Horikoshi's inability to let go of the All Might and AFO dynamic, Deku's character was squeezed into The New Symbol of Peace mold and he forgot all about what he learned during the Dark Hero Arc in order to take out ShigAFO and let society stay exactly the same.
Finally, Deku was lost when he started Acting As The Author's Mouthpiece. The first sign of this was during Endeavor Agency Arc, when he told Shouto that he would forgive Endeavor "because you're a good person" and fawning all over Endeavor in general. I'm sorry, what? As much as Deku likes heroes, he was already shown to strongly dislike Endeavor because he didn't act like a true hero should and abused his family (people smaller and weaker than himself). Now one of your best fucking friends and his siblings are giving you more details of their horrific upbringing, including about their dead brother, and your response is that a good person would forgive Endeavor because he's trying to be better??? There is no canon justification for why Deku would do that type of 180°, but there's certainly an author that continually pushed more and more screentime for Endeavor and his feelings as the series went on. I wouldn't give a shit if this opinion change had any lead-up to it (as characters can change their minds all they want), but there's nothing in Deku's previously-shown character/personality that would lead to that conclusion. As the story went on, Deku mostly lost his introspective nature and stopped struggling with internal conflicts over right and wrong and what it means to be a hero. Instead, he just started mindlessly spouting whatever half-assed "message" the author wanted to show during any given scene with no regard to his previous opinions, background, or personality, often contradicting himself as the story's messages couldn't stay consistent either.
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Some of my favorite quotes:
"While the state exists, there can be no freedom. When there is freedom, there will be no state." — Vladimir Lenin
"We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror." — Karl Marx
"When I give food to the poor they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist." — Dom Hélder Câmara
"I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops." — Stephen Jay Gould
"They talk about the failure of socialism but where is the success of capitalism in Africa, Asia and Latin America?" — Fidel Castro
"A revolution is not a dinner party, or writing an essay, or painting a picture, or doing embroidery; it cannot be so refined, so leisurely and gentle, so temperate, kind, courteous, restrained and magnanimous. A revolution is an insurrection, an act of violence by which one class overthrows another." — Mao Zedong
"Those who come with wheat, millet, corn or milk they are not helping us. Those who really want to help us can give us ploughs, tractors, fertilizer, insecticide, watering cans, drills, dams. That is how we would define food aid." — Thomas Sankara
"Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of a cancer cell." — Edward Abbey
"Colonialism is not a machine capable of thinking, a body endowed with reason. It is naked violence. And it only gives in when confronted with greater violence." — Frantz Fanon
"The reason Socialism never took root in America is because the oppressed masses don't see themselves as an exploited proletariat, but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires." — John Steinbeck
"The life of a single human being is worth a million times more than all the property of the richest man on earth." — Che Guevara
"No altar, no belief, no holy book... have ever been able to reconcile the rich and the poor, the exploiter and the exploited. And if Jesus himself had to take the whip to chase them from his temple, it is indeed because that is the only language they hear." — James Connolly
"We will turn our hearts into steel, which we will temper in the fire of suffering and the blood of fighters for freedom. We will make our hearts cruel, hard, and immovable, so that no mercy will enter them, and so that they will not quiver at the sight of a sea of enemy blood. We will let loose the floodgates of that sea." — Luis Felipe de la Fuente
"So I decided to become a midwife… I wanted to deliver a thousand babies. And as each one arrives, especially the little girls, I’ll be there first to whisper into her tender little ear: REBEL! REBEL!" — Emma Goldman
"All revolutions have failed? Perhaps. But rebellion for good cause is self-justifying -- a good in itself. Rebellion transforms slaves into human beings, if only for an hour." — Howard Zinn
"The mine owners did not find the gold, they did not mine the gold, they did not mill the gold, but by some weird alchemy all the gold belonged to them." — Carlos Fuentes
"Without authorities and specialists, everyone would be a hundred ways wiser. Without benevolence and righteousness, people would rediscover caring, the familial bond. Without power-schemes and profiteering there'd be no thugs and thieves." — Mikhail Bakunin
"Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who are hungry now for you will be filled ... But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation. Woe to you who are full now, for you will be hungry. Woe to you who are laughing now, for you will mourn and weep." — Jesus Christ (from the Gospel of Luke)
"I dream of a society where I would be guillotined as a conservative." — Mikhail Bakunin
"To revolt is a natural tendency of life. Even a worm turns against the foot that crushes it. In general, the vitality and relative dignity of an animal can be measured by the intensity of its instinct to revolt." — Peter Kropotkin
"We Live in Capitalism, it’s power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings." — Arundhati Roy
"Government is as unreal, as intangible, as unapproachable as God. Try it, if you don't believe it. Seek through the legislative halls of America and find, if you can, the Government. In the end you will be doomed to confer with the agent, as before." — William S. Burroughs
"With the abolition of private property, then, we shall have true, beautiful, healthy Individualism. Nobody will waste his life in accumulating things, and the symbols for things. One will live. To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." — Oscar Wilde
"One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that 'an unjust law is no law at all.'" — Martin Luther King Jr.
"You cannot buy the revolution. You cannot make the revolution. You can only be the revolution. It is in your spirit, or it is nowhere." — Ursula K. Le Guin
"Ask for work. If they don't give you work, ask for bread. If they do not give you work or bread, then take bread." — Louis Blanc
#socialism#communism#marxism#marxism leninism#anarcho communism#poverty#leftism#communism memes#liberalism#fully automated luxury gay space communism#lit#life quotes#quotes#beautiful words#literature#literary quotes#books#the book of bill#bookblr#reading#booklr#books and reading#book review#currently reading#search#audience#tricks#speech
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List of dimensional variants/counterparts of Enid and Wednesday introduced in my fanfiction Kooky Spooky in order of appearance.
This means that other characters that are counterparts such as Taylor Galpin, the Yoko and Weems from Agent A's dimension and the rest of the Adamos (High Fantasy Addams Family) are not on this list. Only Enids and Weds.
(Artwork from Kris6758 on Twitter)
First, those with some weight in the plot:
Eamon Sinclair (Chapter 1): Initially named in Chapter 1, with no formal appearance until Chapter 43. Eamon is a male counterpart of Enid and husband of Friday (the Wednesday from the 1973 cartoon). Basically, he is "our" Enid if she had been born male. Standard lycanthrope, though exceptionally strong.
Thursday (Chapter 9): Wednesday Thursday Addams. As Eamon, a male counterpart to Wednesday and Friday's cell neighbor. He looks identical to a teenage Gomez but with no mustache and with Fester's pallor.
Enid Saint-Clair (Chapter 19): The Enid of Woe's dimension (the Wednesday of the '90s movies). Brunette, of Greek descent and werecat rather than werewolf. Affable and nice, though with psychopathic tendencies and a love for exacerbated violence. Loves to fight people who can keep up with her. To call her "kitten" is to invite death. Better just call her “Nid”.
Agent A (Chapter 22): Wednesday Tuesday Addams. The Wednesday from a dimension gone to hell (literally). She's a grown woman in her forties, dresses like she's a MIB and is a practitioner of magic. She's also one of the few Wednesdays who doesn't make use of her pigtails or pull her hair back in any way, leaving her hair loose. If you want to put a face on her, I imagine her as Hailee Steinfeld about 16 years from now.
Wodnesdæg (Chapter 35): Lord Wodnesdæg of the House of Adamo, Prince of the Kingdom of Nova Gersia. Wod to his closest family and friends. Trans male version of Wednesday. He collects his hair in two short but thick pigtails. Likes to wear black armor that makes him look like the stereotypical Dark Lord from a fantasy novel, but first impressions aside his personality is closer to that of a Gomez Addams.
Eneit Synklar (Chapter 35): Enid's variant from Wodnesdæg's dimension and his betrothed. A barbarian and werewolf princess Enid, extremely tall and muscular, usually dressed in furs or light leather armor. Very outgoing, affable and friendly, though she lacks a bit of tact and has no qualms about breaking in half anyone who messes with her loved ones.
[UPDATE] The Bright One: SPOILERS! Read the fic 😁
Now, the ones that are more cameos:
Chapter 43:
A golden tyrannosaurus Enid and her ape-like sidekick Wednesday, inspired by the original comic book versions of Devil Dinosaur and Moon Boy.
A middle-aged futuristic soldier Enid.
A Wednesday who looks like a living marble statue with golden cracks adorning her skin and luminous white hair.
A Wednesday and Enid who look like stereotypical pirates.
Gargoyle Enid. A purple-skinned Enid with horns, tail and wings, inspired by the characters from the Disney series Gargoyles.
Chapter 45:
Cyborg-lycanthrope Enid.
Vampire Wednesday, armed with a spear.
Reverse Enid and Wednesday: A violent lycanthropic but black-furred Enid accompanied by a disturbingly extroverted blonde Wednesday.
The younglings: A group of five or six young Wednesdays, the oldest no older than seven.
Saiyan Enid: A brunette-haired martial artist Enid with ki abilities, orange robes, staff and monkey tail. Inspired by Dragon Ball, although it can be interpreted as a reference to Journey to the West as well.
Gunslinger Enid and Wednesday, as if out of a classic Hollywood Western.
Sasquatch Enid.
The witches: Two Enids, one of them in school uniform and wand-wielding, clearly inspired by the Potterverse novels/films or other similar works. The second Enid, with green skin and black clothes, pointy hat and broom is more inspired by The Wizard of Oz and Wicked.
Punk-looking Enid with cybernetic implants like blades in her arms. Inspired by Cyberpunk 2077.
Angelic Enid, alternates between a humanoid form with wings and a fire-wheel form with multiple eyes.
Hellboy Wednesday (Hellgirl?).
[UPDATE] Chapter 50:
A witch-like Enid with a talking cat familiar.
#wednesday addams#enid sinclair#wenclair#wenclair fic#wenclair fanfic#wenid#eniday#the addams family#multiverse#fanfiction#altogether ooky#kooky spooky#multiversal variants#interdimensional counterparts#archive of our own#a03 fic#ao3 link#wednesday netflix#wednesday
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Hello! Can I request malleus x reader angst?
Malleus breaks up with reader because he is afraid he will hurt her after putting her under a sleeping curse during his over blot
<33
Malleus Afraid to Hurt Reader Again After Blot
TW: Poor Attempt at Angst, No real resolution either, Mild swearing, Bunni hasn't actually written something in a while give them a break, please
Info: Short fic; Angst; Malleus x Reader
🍓I... didn't have much thought process when going into this. I just kinda wrote, and I think I did what I wanted to do? I'm not sure, but I did have fun writing it! This is less focused on Malleus and more focused on the readers internal thoughts and how they dealt with it. Idk I don't like Malleus, so I'm not gonna pity the guy lol. Anyway, enjoy lovelies!
Summary: In the title
Malleus had become… distant since his blot. Despite everything having been solved, you ultimately deciding to stay in Twisted Wonderland, and Malleus generally being forgiven for his transgressions he had only seemed to close off more than before. Of course, that made sense. Overblotting was traumatizing, and he had so much weight on his shoulders before and after it happened. The distance was natural. But it had been a month, and he had been avoiding you like the plague.
You tried to be patient, tried to be understanding. With reassurance from Lilia and Silver and even Sebek that he was fine, you were making it through, but… you missed your boyfriend. You were also experiencing pain from the overblot, from multiple overblotts. All you wanted was to heal with your boyfriend, but he was shutting you out. It wasn’t fair.
Ace, Deuce, and Grim agreed — in fact, they seemed more passionate about it than you were, adding fuel to your slowly growing angry fire. Every time you came crying to one of them with your woes, they only seemed to get more and more exhausted and livid. Deuce always tried to comfort you (pathetically), while Ace and Grim ranted on about how you should ‘just break up with him,’ and ‘he doesn’t deserve you if he’s gonna treat you like this.’
You were beginning to agree with them. Weeks of this was weighing on your poor heart and mind, getting in the way of your studies and day-to-day life. The only reason you were social was because Ace wouldn’t let you hole yourself up. ‘Hiding yourself away just means you’re letting him win, you don’t want him to win this one.’
So, with your head held high, you did your best to pretend everything was fine. You went to classes, spent time with your friends, worked at the Monstro Lounge, and continued your regular schedule. Except now, instead of running to Malleus when you were done with your long day, you met up with Ace and spent your time decompressing with him.
Occasionally, you would feel Malleus’ eyes on you. You would turn to give him a smile and a wave, but he would always turn away before you could lift your arm. So, you just stopped. You stopped trying. Your chest still ached, but you couldn’t allow this to be the end of your life anymore. You deserved to be able to function, and Malleus would come to you and talk to you when he decided to grow up.
In Malleus’ eyes, however, this was the final nail in the coffin.
・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・
That morning you received a knock on your door. Grim, Ace, and Deuce were out cold on the floor after one of your bi-weekly, ‘hangouts,’ (which were just sleepovers), so you were expecting Trey or Cater to come to fetch them. When you opened the door, however, you were greeted by Lilia’s little grin. He seemed a bit… off, upset, though you couldn’t place why.
“Lilia…?”
“Good morning little one, I’ve got a letter for you.”
“An invitation... from Malleus…?” you wondered allowed.
“You’ll have to read it and see,” he paused, “please remember you are always welcome to come and speak with me. You are like family, and I am here for you always.”
You said nothing, simply giving him a confused smile and nodding as he walked off. With a sigh, you shut the door and flipped the letter in your hands. Rich black paper with a red wax stamp and your name in pretty gold letters — most definitely from Malleus. You couldn’t stop your heart from leaping in your chest at the revelation. Maybe he would apologize, and things could go back to normal?
You took a few deep breaths to calm your excitement. Be realistic, you reminded yourself. You quietly crept to the kitchen, carefully opening the envelope and unfolding the letter. It was short, less than half the page of Malleus’ gorgeous cursive.
“My Dearest,
Firstly, I must apologize for my absence from your life. I’ve had much to think about after my blot, and I could not think clearly around you. I realized quite a few differences between the two of us. Firstly, you are human, and I am fae. I have a much longer lifespan than you, and am far more powerful than you could imagine. You have a small lifespan and are magic-less. You are easily affected by even weak magical spells, and the toll that my magic has on you is immense. As I saw with my blot, you are fragile and easily harmed. Therefore, I came to the conclusion that you would be safer and happier if we put an end to our relations with each other. You will be well, as I have seen your friends care for you deeply. Please find it in yourself to forgive me for what I have done."
You stared at the letter blankly, your mind struggling to comprehend what you were reading. Malleus had… broken up with you? Via a letter, of all things? Perhaps it could be worse, but a letter was Malleus’ equivalent of magicam… so could it really be? You hadn’t realized you were crying until you saw your tears blurring the ink on the paper.
You didn’t want to cry. You were more angry than sad, but the hurt stung worse in your heart, so you stood at the kitchen counter and sobbed. And you sobbed and sobbed and sobbed over a man who did not have the decency to face you in person. You cried so loud that it woke one of your friends, and you could hear the creaking of the floorboards as they grew closer until you saw the red hair in your blurred vision.
“Yo,” he said awkwardly, “watcha cryin’ about now…?”
You let out a half-hearted ‘nothing,’ but Ace wasn’t having it. He rounded the counter, settling awkwardly at your side. Somehow, Ace was worse than Deuce when it came to comforting you. He noticed the letter on the table and -- with a defeated shrug of your shoulders -- picked it up. You could see him grow angrier and angrier as he read it.
“Who does he think he is, huh,” slamming the letter down onto the counter, “couldn’t even do it in person. What a coward!”
You sniffled, wiping at your face. It was hard to disagree, especially considering the circumstances.
“He isn’t even worth cryin’ over, so wipe those tears,” he grumbled, “you, me, and the other losers in there are going out and getting your mind off of that dumbass. Go get dressed, and I’ll get them up.”
You nodded, wiping up the rest of your tears and stumbling up to your room to do as you were told. The first thing you did when you arrived was look in the mirror. Your puffy eyes, ruffled hair, and tear streaks down your cheeks, and for what? A guy who ghosted you for weeks on end, who couldn’t even break up with you in person. What a joke.
Ace was right. He isn’t worth crying over. He isn’t worth worrying about anymore. So, why did your heart still ache? It wasn’t fair. Still, you cleaned yourself up, got dressed, and resigned yourself to a life without Malleus. If you could do it before, you could do it for the rest of your life. He would be graduating soon anyway, and you wouldn’t have to see him again after that.
Who needs him anyway? You’ve got your friends to take care of you.
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