#Fake And Going To Fade { Meme Day Sunday }

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What’s Our Height Difference! - Accepting! @limonadaquimica

“Even the girls here tower over me?” The hell man?!

[schrijverr]

Famous Husband

Dean is a pretty famous YouTuber, who is happily married to Castiel, a normal teacher, who doesn’t like the spotlight. He stays behind the scenes, but when someone offhandedly comments that some people believe the Husband doesn’t exist, he starts to rethink his decision to stay unknown.

On AO3.

Ships: Destiel

Warnings: Cas has two students, who go digging into his private life, so if you are sensitive to that, be careful. I do NOT condone their behaviour and if you do I reccomend you rethink some of your choices. WHat they do in this fic in wrong, but I needed it to further the plot, so apoligies :)

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~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel Novak-Winchester was a normal high school History teacher known as Mr. Novak. He was a bit of a dork who was lenient with his students and sometimes surprised them with his meme or pop culture knowledge. This last fact was not because Castiel was secretly hip or up to date with the kids, no this was because Castiel was married to YouTuber Dean Novak-Winchester, with as handle: Dean. Nothing fancy, just simple, like he was.

Castiels students of course didn’t know he was married to the popular YouTuber, he had never starred in a video or even spoken or appeared in the background, because Castiel was a private and shy person and Dean loved him and would do anything for him. So, no matter how much Dean wanted to show Castiel off, his angel was carefully edited out of every single video.

~

On Thursday Castiels Junior AP class streamed into the classroom for the last lesson of the day with bored expressions on their faces and all sagged into their seats. Castiel shook his head as he decided that these kids deserved a bit of a break today. Then he started the lesson, but fifteen minutes before the end of class he closed his book and announced: “We have some time left, so we’re going to watch a fun YouTube video to relax. Any suggestions?”

Immediately their faces perked up and one girl, Rey, said: “Just before class Dean uploaded a video, can we watch that one? I really want to, but I don’t have the time today otherwise, please.”

Castiel hadn’t expected that, he of course knew that his husband was a well known star and that kids in his classes watched him, but it somehow still came as a shock. He hid his feelings though and instead asked if anyone had any objections, when none came he looked up the video under the careful instructions of Rey.

Then his husband showed up on the board, he was sitting in his car, the beloved Impala that all his fans knew from his video series on how to take care of her and his rants about her on his streams. While he drove he told the camera: “Today Sam is off from doing boring lawer-y stuff, so we’re going to drive over to our uncle, Bobby, you might know him, but it’s a pretty far drive, so when I’ve picked him up we’re going to do a Q&A while we ride. See haters, I’m efficient. This is YouTube-ing at it’s finest.”

He then laughed and it cut to two people sitting in the car. Sam said hello, before grabbing his phone to look up the questions the people send in. Castiel remember that this weekend the two brothers had taken a trip to Bobby’s place, so they must have filmed it then. Sam started off: “So, @Deansgirlnumber1 asked: “how do you feel being so close to 7 mil subs?””

Dean made a turn while he answered: “Good question, I don’t know man. I never thought in my wildest dreams that anyone would even watch, so the fact that all this happened is crazy. I am very grateful for it, so I think I’m gonna have to go with that, incredibly grateful.”

A few more questioned followed, about annoying habits, special interest, or embarrassing memories. Then Sam said: “@MysteriousHubby asked: “can we at least get a description of your husband, please!!!!”, yes it has four exclamation marks.” Sam looked over, “I know you love waxing poetry about him.”

Dean got a dopey smile on his face and a dreamy look in his eyes that made Castiel go soft as he saw it, that was his favourite Dean-smile, the smile he only used for him.

Then Dean shook himself out of it and frowned as he said: “I do love to do that, but it’s not my fault that his eyes are absolutely stunning and he’s very sexy, but as you know my sunshine is private and I respect that. I would never want to push him to do something he doesn’t want, we have boundaries and we believe in consent, as should all of you. So sorry @MysteriousHubby, but all I can tell you is that he is beautiful.”

The girls in the room squealed and Mary gushed: “Isn’t it adorable how much he loves that man, you can see it in how he talks.”

Another girl swooned and said: “I wish someone talked about me like he does about his husband. He never gives anything away, but he always manages to turn it into a complement about how sweet and gorgeous his sunshine is.”

Castiel paused the video and with faked confusion he asked: “I’m confused, why doesn’t he talk about his husband?”

Rey was quick to explain: “Well, he’s been married for a year now and he’s been dating this guy since forever, but he’s very shy and he doesn’t like camera’s apparently, so Dean edits him out and never mentions him by name, only calling him cute nicknames like angel or sunshine, or he just calls him ‘my husband’. It’s very cute how he seems to melt every time the man is mentioned, but a lot of people are curious about this mystery guy, some don’t even believe he exist, I do though, you can’t fake being that madly in love.”

Some girls agreed and Castiel nodded as he let the video continue. He mulled Rey's words over and mused, I didn’t know people didn’t believe I existed. Dean must have hidden it, because he thought it would hurt my feelings, how sweet of him.

He watched the brothers do Deans sign-off: “Bye hunters, see you on the road!”

Then the screen faded to black, before anyone cold break the silence the bell rang and the kids were out of the room with a quick goodbye to their teacher. When Rey walked by she said: “Bye, Mr. Novak, thank you for letting me watch the video. I’ll make sure to do my homework.”

Castiel laughed and said: “That would be a first.”

Rey shot him a quick grin and a wink over her shoulder then she was gone with everyone else. Castiel shook his head to himself as he whispered: “Teenagers.”

He left the building and left in his tan-colored car for home. There he walked to the door and was greeted by Dean with a kiss on his forehead as he took Castiels stuff of his hands and helped him out of the trench-coat. After he was done he asked: “So, how was your day, sunshine.”

“It was pleasant, Dean.” Castiel told him with a smile, “I watched your video with one of my classes, you have fans at the school. You were very handsome in it. How has your day been?”

“Good, but it got better when you walked through the door.” Dean smirked.

Castiel gave him a slight shove as he said: “Sap.”

Dean batted his eyelashes and said: “You love me for it, darlin’.”

With a quick peck Castiel said: “Yeah, I do.” then walked to the kitchen with a happy Dean trailing behind him.

When they were sitting at the table with homemade burgers Dean started up the conversation again: “So, I have fans at your school, maybe I should come and say hi to them.”

“Dean.” Castiel said with a glare, “I know you want to, but they’ll never leave me alone after that. I have to be an authority figure and I can’t do that if I’ve done dumb shit like getting covered in whipped cream on camera.”

“That was one- well, not one time, but come on. Please, Cas, consider it.” Dean whined.

“I am.” Castiel told him.

Dean perked up, like a puppy near a bone. Castiel rolled his eyes fondly at him and said: “I have recently been informed that people believe I don’t exist and I don’t want them thinking they have a chance when you’re mine, right sweetheart?”

Dean swallowed, Castiel hardly ever used nicknames and the possessiveness was kinda hot. Dumbly Dean shook his head, but when he had found his words and tried to ask him about it Castiel steered the conversation to another topic.

~

Three weeks later and Cas hadn’t mentioned it again, so Dean had let it go, sadly enough, thinking it had been a one time thought that had been discarded after more consideration. However, the opposite was the case. Castiel had been planning proving he was real carefully and now it was time.

Dean was doing his Sunday live show in the living room, this usually meant that Castiel would hide, uhm, grade papers, in the office until Dean brought him a coffee to inform him he was done. Dean always chilled the same way on his life streams, so Castiel knew exactly from where he would be in frame and he had even checked before he left.

So, when Dean was thirty minutes into his stream, Castiel entered the room. When Dean saw him his eyes went wide and he quickly said: “Babe, I’m live.”

While the chat practically blew up, Castiel played his part, giving his husband startled eyes as he asked: “Am I in frame?”

He knew he wasn’t, but having Dean confirm it soothed him. He held up the mug of coffee he had made Dean and said: “I completely forgot, but I made you coffee, it’s black just the way you like it, wait I’ll bring it over.”

He carefully made his way around the edges of the room with Dean guiding him, so he was certain he wouldn’t be spotted. He was lucky they didn’t have any mirrors or that would have been tricky. As he was doing that Dean was ignoring his stream as he followed Cas with his eyes, when his husband came up on the other side of the laptop he gave him a smile that Castiel shyly returned. Deans gaze softened with that and he gratefully took the mug out of Castiels hands. Handing over the mug happened just above the frame, but when Dean had put it aside carefully he stood up to give his husband a quick peck and without thinking he said: “Thanks, Cas, I love you.”

Cas didn’t mind and he answered: “Love you too, Dean. Good luck with your stream, sorry for interrupting.”

Castiel walked away just as carefully as Dean said with a grin: “You can never interrupt me. Have fun doing boring adult stuff.”

“Having a normal job, isn’t boring, it’s called being a productive member of society, you should try it sometime.” Castiel sassed as he closed the door behind him, through the wood he could hear Deans laughter.

He quickly hurried to the kitchen to watch the stream. He was just in time to see Dean wipe the laugh tears out of his eyes as he said: “I love that man, he’s the best. You look at him and  think, ‘oh what a sweetheart’, but he can be a little shit if he wants.”

In the chat people were rioting: “AAHHH HE’S REAL!!!!” “OMG DID YOU HEAR THAT VOICE SO FUCKING DEEP!” “WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?!?!?!?!?” “Ahw, look how soft Dean got when his husband walked in” “DID I HEAR IT RIGHT, DID HE CALL HIM CASS? GUYS WE HAVE A NAME!!!” “IS HE GONNA APPEAR MORE?”

Castiel rolled his eyes, he didn’t mind that the abbreviation of his name was out there. It might be easy to connect with his first name, but most students didn’t know his first name and it was a major gap to link.

Dean ignored most of the comments, but he did say: “For all you non-believers, you just got converted. A real life angel just blessed you with the truth.”

He laughed some more at his own silly comment, before getting serious and saying: “For the record, this was a mess-up, not a promise for more husband content. He stays my sweet, dorky, shy, angel, so don’t make a big deal out of.”

He tried to talk about some other things, but nothing stuck, all the comment section was interested in was Castiel, which the man found kind of flattering. After ten minutes of trying Dean gave up and said his goodbyes before ending the stream.

A few seconds later he came into the kitchen and was surprised to find Castiel there. “I thought, you’d be up in the office grading your papers.” Dean said.

Castiel shrugged and said: “That was originally the plan, but then I thought about you doing the live stream and the people who didn’t believe I existed, so to make myself feel better I started watching, but then there were all these comments about how sexy you were, which are true, but you’re mine and before I knew it I had entered the room and now that all happened.”

Suddenly the realization of what his actions had meant came over him and he had to lean against the counter to keep upright. Dean was with him in a flash, letting Castiel lean on him while he petted his hair and whispered soothing words into his ear.

When Castiel had calmed down a bit and was sitting at the counter with a mug of tea Dean said: “Let’s first see how everyone reacts to this and if they’re very intrusive I’ll make a video telling them to back off, yeah? Maybe they’ll be chill and cool about it.”

Castiel rubbed his face and said: “I hope so. I also hope that none of my students recognized my voice, I’ve never been so happy that they never listen to me.”

Dean barked a laugh at that and soon the stress of the day was forgotten in front of a nice movie with popcorn, blankets, giggles and kisses.

~

Monday morning his Junior AP class got into the building and his classroom. Rey and Mary were loudly talking about what had happened the day before. Rey said: “I still cannot believe that just happened!”

“Yeah, I know right. Seven years and nothing, then suddenly a whole conversation and a name!” Mary answered, “He sounded a bit gruff, like he had swallowed a lot of gravel, but he was funny and sweet, so Dean hasn’t been lying.”

Castiel walked up behind the unsuspecting girls and asked: “What might be so important that I cannot start my lesson until the news is shared?”

Both jumped a bit, but Rey quickly explained: “Yesterday Dean was doing a live show and his husband walked in!”

“Yeah,” Mary added, “It’s like major, because of the mysteriousness surrounding the guy. He was bringing Dean coffee, which is so sweet, but now there are theories everywhere about who it could be.”

Rey nodded frantically: “Some claim it’s a big celebrity, who’s trying to hide he’s gay and there are sound bits comparing the voice of the husband to some those of celebrities. I personally think it’s someone like me and you, just a shy everyday Joe, you know.”

“Me too.” Mary said, “Oh and we also got a name, or so we think, Dean said: “Thanks Cas, I love you.” So the name must Cas or it’s a nickname, so people are looking all over social media for people with that name.”

Castiel nodded along, he had never been more grateful that he had decided that social media was too much work for him to understand, so he’d never gotten it. But he had a job to do so he told them: “I’m sure it’s all very intriguing and interesting, but you know what’s also interesting? The Civil War, which is what you will spend your time discussing this hour. When the lesson is done you can get back to your mystery man.”

The two girls groaned, along with the others who were listening to the interaction.

Castiels strict start soon mellowed out and by the end of the lesson most kids were on their phone or slowly working through the questions for the homework for next lesson. Rey and Mary were watching a theory video about the stream. They were distracted by Mr. Novak, who clapped in his hands and said: “The bells will almost ring so you guys can put away your stuff and go be a productive member of society.”

The two girls gasps were drowned out by the noise of people packing, but they had heard it clear enough, their teacher had repeated the words of Cas on the stream from yesterday at exactly the same time it played on their video. There was no difference in the voice, their dorky teacher might be Deans husband.

~

Castiel groaned into one of their couch pillows and Dean smirked: “Rough day, buddy?”

“You don’t even know, it seems like all anyone could talk about was that stream of yours. I didn’t even know people at the school watched it, but even some staff members were talking about it.” Cas told the pillow.

“Ahw, darling.” Dean said as he sat down next to his husband and massaged Castiels hair: “It’s gonna be okay, soon it will blow over and everything will be normal again, I promise.”

Castiel rolled over to face his husband and said: “I hope so, two of my best Junior AP students, Rey and Mary, are obsessed with it and I am very bad at keeping secrets. It’s surprising, honestly, that I’ve managed to get this far without slipping up.”

“Don’t be self deprecating, honey.” Dean said as he kissed his face, “I hate it when you talk shit about my favourite person.”

The sweet words and the tickling of Deans hair made Castiel giggle. When he did that Dean made such an adoring face at him that Castiel couldn’t help but melt, this was his Dean, his husband, his world, his everything. Dean had made sacrifices for him, helped him through dark times and now he was still here as adoring and beautiful as ever and all his. He whispered: “Dean, I’ll love you till I die.”

Deans eyes widened a bit, before he blushed and hid his face I his arm. When he removed the arm he was still red, but he was smiling softly as he said: “I’ll love you for my whole life as well.”

They stared at each other for a minute, just taking each other in, Castiel had his head in Deans lap and Dean was looking down to him. Castiel was counting Deans freckles, he had never manged to count them all, but damn did he love to try. Meanwhile Dean was trying to figure out how eyes could be that blue and how he could drown in them.

The moment was ruined by the rumbling of Deans stomach that send Castiel back into a fit of giggles. Dean smiled as well and said: “Shall I get our pizza’s out the freezer and into the oven? Then you can find us something to watch.”

Castiel got up and said: “I saw a documentary about bees, would you like to watch that with me?”

Dean smiled and said: “Of course, Cas. I’d love to.”

And that was the truth. Dean couldn’t care less about bees, but Cas did, he got that adorable intense look in his eyes as he would focus on the facts and images that played. When something particularly interesting or new came by he’d look at Dean with a sparkle of excitement in his eyes, which was just too precious. All that made watching a boring bee documentary completely worth it.

~

Mary and Rey were doing a live stream on their quite popular, joined Instagram account named @Deanmustbeprotected, here they posted drawings from Mary and edits from Rey about Dean, but today they were not talking about that, but about their recent discovery. They had a pretty big following for a fan account and a few hundred people were watching the stream. Rey began: “So, I know we don’t really talk about like theories or that stuff, because we respect privacy in this house, but-”

Mary interrupted: “But this is too big not to share, because we think our teacher is-”

Together they finished the sentence: “Deans husband.”

“Now I know this looks like everybody who claims they know this Cas,” Mary said, “but we have some serious evidence.”

“Their voices are exactly the same for example.” Rey said, “And I mean creepily the same.”

“Yeah, yesterday in class he said “go be a productive member of society” which is exactly what Cas said and it was the same.” Mary pipped in.

“Like the same, the same.” Rey said.

“So, we did some digging and according to our school mail, his name-” Rey started, but was cut off by Mary who said: “No, you got to explain that first. So, if you mail a teacher via school-mail you can type in the last name and their mail will pop up, but also their first name, so we looked up-”

“And his first name is Castiel!” Rey squealed.

Mary nodded enthusiastically: “Which fits perfectly into the theory that Cas is a nickname, therefore our teacher must be Deans husband.”

Rey said: “He’s also one of the best teachers ever and mega sweet, so that’s also proof if you want to believe what Dean says about the guy.”

“Uhhu, he’s the best, so no shit talking him if it ends up being wrong.” Mary warned.

“Or right.” Rey added.

Mary nodded: “Or right, yeah.”

People in their comments went wild, but there were also skeptics, which was pretty fair since there were two teenage girls claiming that they knew the mysterious husband of their idol. Mary didn’t care, but Rey didn’t really let that kind of things go easily. She said: “We’ll investigate some more and come back to you all, but this time with solid evidence.”

Then they ended the stream. Soon after the clip had been uploaded by a popular theory fan YouTube account and the video spread through the fanbase, ending up in Deans sphere.

Dean was going through videos to monitor what people were saying about his husband when a video popped up of two girls claiming their teacher was his husband. That set off alarm bells in his head, a teacher was in the realm of possibilities.

He quickly made his way to the office where Cas was bended over a stack off papers. He looked calm and in his element and Dean almost felt bad about disturbing him, but this was important. So he knocked on the door frame to get Castiels attention and said: “Two girls uploaded a video claiming their teacher was my husband. Do you want to check if they’re your students?”

Castiels face turned tense as he nodded, so Dean showed his the screen. Once he had identified Mary and Rey he let his head thunk on the desk is despair. Dean winced and said: “I take it they’re yours?”

Muffled the reply came: “Sadly. Remember those two obsessed Juniors I told you about yesterday?”

“Rey and Mary?” Dean asked, “You adore those girls, right?”

“Yeah, I do. They’re hard workers, who are fun to work with and good people to have in the classroom, so I want to be mad, but I can’t.” Cas said.

Dean rubbed his back and said: “They were nice about you in the video. Here watch.”

He played the part where they talked about how sweet their teacher was, then paused it and said: “This might be a good thing. You can talk to them, maybe tell them the truth and ask them to leave it alone. I feel like they would understand, they seem like nice girls.”

“You’re probably right.” Castiel sighed, “I see what I can do.”

~

End Wednesday was terrible, because by that time most of the school had heard about the video, but Castiel managed to avoid talking about it luckily. That Thursday he was in a terrible mood and most people seemed to have picked up on it and left him alone.

When his Junior AP filed in that last hour, he was done. He said: “I am not really in the mood for fun today, so everyone be quiet and work on your sheets. I do not want to see phones or food and I don’t want to hear you talking. I’ll be grading papers over here, so if you have any questions you can come here and ask.”

The class shared looks, Mr. Novak must be in a really bad mood. He always allowed music, because he found that music could be soothing while you worked. Food was necessary for energy and concentration. While talking and working together led to discussions that helped with studying. He found them essential, so canceling all of that was bad news.

Rey and Mary looked guiltily at each other and quietly got to work. They had been looking forward to this lesson to investigate more about their hunch, but making their favourite teacher mad like this, they hadn’t planned for or wanted that.

No one dared to ask a question that lesson and when the bell was about to ring Mr. Novak stood up and said: “You can pack up now, make sure to finish those worksheets before our lesson on Monday. Rey and Mary, can you two stick around for a bit.”

It was phrased like a question, but it was said like a statement. The two girls swallowed and sat back down in their seats with heavy hearts. When everyone else had left the room they came forward and waited for Mr. Novak to start the conversation.

Castiel leaned back into his chair and rubbed his face. He said: “You know girls, I’m angry with you, but I’m mostly just very disappointed in you. I expect this from others, trolls or stalkers on the Internet, people who like conspiracies, but not you two.”

The words felt like punches and they couldn’t find it within themselves to even try and defend themselves. Castiel went on: “But, I am soft and I believe in giving second chances, so I want to know what you two have to say for yourself.”

He looked at them expectantly as they tried to find their words. Mary was first: “I’m so sorry, Mr. Novak. I really didn’t mean it like that.”

“Yeah,” Rey agreed, “we didn’t think this would happen at all.”

“Can I ask what you did think would happen?” Castiel asked.

“Uhh...” the two girls blanked.

Castiel nodded and said: “I thought so, I know excitement can sometimes overpower rational thinking, but at least try to get a few braincells to work before you make important decisions.”

Rey snorted as Mary blushed. Castiel then let his frown and stern look fall and took on a more gentle look. He told the two: “Like I said, I believe in second chances and I understand why you two did what you did, even though it turned my world a bit around and soured two of my days so far. So, I want to ask you two, why you want to know so bad? How will it impact your life?”

Both seemed to think about it and Mary spoke up first: “It’s kind of being invested, I suppose, we know so much about Dean, his brother, his uncle who raised him, his friends, his history, his hobbies, everything basically, so not knowing something is weird, makes you curious. And I get that a person wants privacy, so I can’t blame him really, but Dean is really influential with a pretty young audience. He helped me with a lot of stuff, like cheered me up when I was down and made me happy when things were rough, you know. But not knowing his husband makes that connection less real and seeing him would fix that small disconnect you have when it is a pet name instead of a real name.”

Then Rey spoke up, a bit hesitant: “Well, my answer is kind of the same, I guess, but it’s just that Dean always seems so happy when he talks about his husband and that always helps me believe that I have a shot at that as well, you know, that me being bi isn’t something that can stop me from being happy and having someone that loves me for me, so seeing his husband, knowing that he’s real and out there, that he really is as sweet as Dean let us to believe, well it would give me hope, I guess...” she trailed off and shrugged.

Castiel nodded at their words as he thought them over. He was kind of convinced that he should just do a video with Dean and get it over with, not this theorizing bullcrap people were doing now, he knew Mr. Shurley, the principal liked him and because of his investment in the GSA it was kind of known that he was LGBTQ+, so he wouldn’t get fired over that.

While he was quietly thinking the friends awkwardly looked at each other, when it became clear that Mr. Novak was too deep in thought to break the silence any time soon, Rey broke it first: “So, were we right, sir, are you Deans husband?”

That earned her a slap from Mary and a tired look from Mr. Novak. She cringed a bit and apologized, but Castiel waved it away as he said: “Sorry for drifting away on you, I was thinking about your words and you’ve convinced me.”

Mary and Rey shared a shocked look, was this really happening or were they reading the situation wrong? Castiel sighed: “I am Deans husband and I’m doing the video.”

Both girls squealed and jumped up and down, Castiel just shook his head fondly at their antics. When they had come down from their excitement, Rey breathlessly said: “Are you really gonna do it?”

“Yeah, I just want to walk up to my husband in the store to give him the milk without having to worry about the group of teens that have surrounded him.” Castiel said, “But the video is probably not going up until later, so please don’t shout this from the rooftops until it is out. Can I trust you with that?”

He gave them a stern look and they practically fell over themselves to assure him that they wouldn’t fuck up this second chance he had given them. When that was done Mary shyly asked: “I know this is weird, but can we take a selfie, so that we an post it on our insta to prove we were right? It’s weird, sorry, but some people were getting really mad at us for lying, so if we can clear this up maybe they’ll leave us alone.”

Castiel looked kind of awkward, but he wouldn’t let his students get bullied, so he sucked it up and agreed, he would have to get used to it. After that the girls wished him good luck and Cas decided that he wasn’t going to come in tomorrow.

~

On Sunday instead of a live-stream a video popped up on Deans channel called: ‘Husband reveal!! No click bait, it’s actually happening!!’

It started off with no one on screen and a camera adjusting, you heard Dean first: “You wanna sit with me already or come in later?”

“Already sit there, I don’t want to awkwardly shuffle into frame.” a deep voice replied, that most recognized from the stream.

Then Deans intro rolled, it was a drawn impala that came down the road, it stopped in the middle of the screen and the drawn Dean gave a wink to the viewers, then he sped off again and the smoke was bridge back to the video.

Dean and the mystery man were sitting next to each other and Dean excitedly started the video: “Hi Hunters, welcome back to the channel! Today we have a very special guest, and can I get a round of applause for him… my husband, Castiel or Cas! Jup, your eyes are not deceiving you, this beautiful man right here is my husband, because he finally agreed to do a video with me!”

The man in question stopped with lovingly staring at his husband to blush at the introduction. When  he didn’t say anything Dean said: “Want to say hi to everyone?”

Cas blinked and said: “Uhm, hi human people audience watching…”

Dean giggled, he had never giggled on his channel before, and when Cas heard the sound he smirked, but when he looked at Dean he plastered a confused look on his face and asked Dean what was wrong. Dean fondly shook his head and without any bite he said: “You are ruining my badboy-nothing-fazes-me image I created here, dude.”

It cut and they were looking at the camera again. Dean started the off again: “So first Cas is just going to tell you about why he didn’t want to be on camera. The floor is yours.”

Castiel said: “Well, at first it was because I was looking for a job and being an openly gay man in a relationship meant that I might not get hired.”

“Because people are assholes.” Dean cut in.

“Yes, Dean, because of that.” Castiel agreed, “But then I got a job here and we moved to LA and I know now that I’m not going to get fired over it, because I told my boss I had a husband and I help with the GSA at the school I work at, so I’m good on job security. But as a teacher, I realized that these kids I teach watch YouTube and therefor also Dean, so if I showed up here and did weird stuff like eating pie until I vomit or-”

“Hey, that was actually one time.”

“Hm, sure. Or participate in ‘never-have-I-ever’ none of them would ever listen to me again. So I decided that staying off the channel was for the best if I wanted my students to actually learn something.”

While Cas was talking you could see Dean was listening intently, even making comments, but overall he was focused most on staring at his husband like he was the most beautiful thing ever.

Castiel finished: “But it was actually two of my students that convinced me that this was a good idea to do, so here I am.”

Dean snapped out of his trance and said with fake indignantly: “I thought your love for me was your only true motivation. Have you lied to me?”

Castiel frowned and replied: “That is always my first motivation, but this was an extra, and currently more relevant, explanation.”

Dean dropped the act to smirk at Cas and asked: “How is that also your motivation when you leave your dirty dishes for me to do?”

“Well,” Cas started to explain seriously, “you have very nice arms that can only be truly appreciated when wet and lathered in soap.”

Dean blushed and laughed, then Castiel started laughing as well, also with a blush. Between gasped Dean said: “Dude, are you serious.”

Castiel looked mortified and said: “Are you going to keep that in?”

Dean shrugged and said: “I don’t know, Sam wanted to edit this video because, and I quote, “An insider could never do justice to the sweet Destiel romance that I had to suffer through in real time”, so you have to ask him.”

The screen went white and in black a message appeared: ‘I am not sorry for that, it took them four years to get together and I was present for all of them, so you can imagine how I suffered. Besides, I want to bet that they would have edited adorable moments like this one out, because they are idiots. ~Sam’

Then it was back to the video. Dean said: “So since this is a video about us I thought we could tell you about how we first met. So, you might know my roommate Rick that I talk about from time to time, yeah, well, he isn’t real, well he is, but he dropped out after a month, so none of the stories about him happened with him.”

“You are being very confusing, Dean.” Castiel told him.

Dean glared at him and said: “You can try later, see if you fair better.”

“I assume I will, want to bet?” Castiel challenged.

“Winner does the dishes next week.” Dean said.

“Deal.”

They shook hands and Dean went on: “Anyway, after that first month there was a mishap at another dorm and Castiel moved in with me. It was kind of awkward that first day, because he came late at night and I was in the dark room alone watching a horror movie when I heard the lock wiggle. Turns out this idiot had forgotten his keys and was picking the lock, but I didn’t know that at the time, so I was scared shitless. Then the door swung open and a dude was standing there with the hallway light from the back only making him a dark figure, a hallway light that chose that exact moment to flicker. So, I screamed and jumped him.”

“I had a bruise on my chest for weeks, you know.” Cas complained.

“Well then you should have knocked.” Dean shot back.

“But there was no light coming from the door, I thought you were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you. I was being considerate.” Castiel defended himself.

“It was creepy, but anyway we fought, I won.” a cough, “It was a draw.” and eyeroll that was ignored, “And we became good friends after that!”

“Now, Cas is going to tell our first date. It was the last month at college and I was planning on moving back into Uncle Bobbys house and help him with the cars until YouTube picked up some more, this is all relevant background information, by the way.” Dean said.

“Yes, so I had gotten a job teaching in LA and I realized that I didn’t want to say goodbye to Dean at all, so I talked to Sam who said that I had to get my head out of my ass and ask Dean out because we had loved each other for the entirety of college and apparently he was suffering. I went up to Dean and gave a very embarrassing speech and we-”

“Wait, you’re not going to retell the speech?” Dean asked.

“No, like I stated before, it was very embarrassing, Dean.” Cas said.

“Pleeeeease.” Dean gave him The Eyes and Castiel broke like he always did.

“This is what I said, keep in mind that I was very nervous, “Hello, Dean, I have found a house in LA and this is were YouTubers live so it will help in your career, so I hoped you would buy the house, with me that is, I don’t want you just to buy the house alone because that would be dumb. The house is actually more of an apartment and it only has one bedroom, I tell you this, because it is relevant and I only looked for houses with one bedroom, because I’d hoped you would share it with me, because I really love you and I want you to be my boyfriend, please.” See, super embarrassing and dumb.” Castiel pouted.

“Nooo, angel. It was the sweetest, you were the cutest little dork ever, it was very nice and I liked it.” Dean reassured him.

“Really?” Castiel asked, Dean nodded enthusiastically.

“So, after that, I took him stargazing in the impala, because he likes to drive and I like the stars. I brought pie and burgers and beer and it was very lovely.”

“It was a very good date, did anyone help you with it?” Dean asked.

“Yes, Sam was very eager to help, he even gave me your ring size, so he was dreaming a little bigger than me, but he was helpful.” Castiel said.

“Did he really do that.” Dean wheezed.

Castiel chuckled: “Yes, yes he did.”

A new note appeared: ‘Like you didn’t find that information very useful a year and a half later, Mr. Denial (and yes, I was suffering, a lot)  :( ~Sam’

“I’m probably gonna end the video here, wedding talk comes later, maybe even with footage.” Dean said with a look to Cas.

Cas raised an eyebrow and said: “I thought you had a “badboy image” to maintain, can’t really do that when you post hours of footage of you crying.”

“I didn’t cry, you cried.” Dean said, “Maybe you thought I cried, because you couldn’t see through your own tears.”

“No, you were the one who cried, it started the moment I walked down the isle with Bobby, admit it.” Castiel said.

“No, I didn’t, I swear I didn’t cry.” Dean said.

“Okay, that’s it, I’m grabbing my laptop and I’m proving this.” Castiel started to get up.

It cut and they were looking at the laptop. You could hear the wedding march swell and Dean moped: “Yeah, ‘kay, so you were right, whatever. It’s not my fault you looked way too pretty to be human.”

“Ahw, sweetheart.” Cas gave Dean a peck on the cheek.

Then it cut to the end card and Dean was sitting alone. He said: “So that’s this video, Cas is not here, because he is setting stuff up so we can watch out wedding videos again, because we felt like it after this. If you liked the video, please leave a like and comment, to subscribe click over there, to watch more click right there and maybe you will see Cas in a beautiful wedding gown, but for now: Bye hunters, see you on the road! Oh yeah, and comment I was better than Cas at my actual job.”

Then the video was over.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Omg they’re sooooooo cute!!!!!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Get yourself a lover who looks at

you like they look at each other

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Is anybody going to talk about

how hot Cass is? Like wowwww

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Did you see that little smirk that

he hid when Dean looked? That

is love people. Confirmed Deans

Hubby is a little shit in love

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

so… he’s real…. great another

hot guy of the market…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

hahahaha I died at 3:35 when Cas

talked about Deans arms 100%

agree

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Castiel was better, like to agree

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sam little comments had me in

stitches

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dean cried on their wedding day!

My heart <3<3<3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Destiel!!! They named themselves

iconic

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

All…. The… Stares…  

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Wait did he say wedding gown,

we stan one QUEEN!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

~

Soon after the video went up a picture appeared on @Deanmustbeprotected with the two girls known from the insta stories and stream smiling and doing peace signs with a confused Castiel in the background. The caption read: ‘Did we lie though?’

The top comment was from certified Dean: ‘You be nice to him on Monday, girls’

With a lot of freaking out underneath it.

~

That Monday the Junior AP class practically ran into the classroom to question their teacher thoroughly, but Castiel refused to answer any of their questions and just started the lesson: “So, the Civil War brought many changes to America, which is what your homework was about. I will collect it now, so please put it on the table and while I do that can so someone tell me what those changes were? Yes, Jule.”

“Are you really not going to talk about Deans video from yesterday?” Jule said instead of answering the question.

Castiels shoulders sagged and he said: “This was exactly what I feared when I agreed to do that, guys I am your teacher, I am getting paid to teach you and make you into a functioning adult and I am not here to talk about my personal life.”

“Tell that to Mr. Delaney.” a boy yelled, which earned him some laughs.

Castiel smiled and said: “I know, Mr. Delaney loves his fishing stories, but I am not Mr. Delaney. I am trying to tell you about the Civil War and how it impacted America, something that will be on your test, which is far more important in this setting than me and my husband.”

“Please, sir, just a few questions.” Shelly asked.

“Will you stop after and concentrate, because this is a two way route.” Castiel said.

When he got a chorus of yes he sighed and sat down on his desk. “I’m answering five questions so, hands up if you have one.”

A dozen hands shot up and he picked the one closest to him. It was Nate, who asked: “How is it to be married to a celebrity?”

Castiel chuckled and said: “I never thought of Dean as a celebrity really, when I got to know him he was eighteen, still couldn’t grow facial hair and a gigantic dork, who filmed himself doing a bunch of weird sh- stuff with his laptop web cam. So, I would say like any other marriage.”

He pointed at a girl in the back who asked: “Dean said you got married in a gown, is that true and do you have pictures.”

Castiel knew this was coming and he wasn’t ashamed or anything, so he calmly answered: “Yes, I did, I think that how different genders present themselves is a social construct and I thought a wedding gown would be neat.”

He looked up his favourite wedding photo, it was Dean holding him in his arms bridal-carry style and they were both grinning like idiots at each other, he had it printed and framed and it hung above their bed. He projected the photo and a lot of the girls awh-ed, but before anyone could get out their phone he warned: “No pictures.”

He then pointed at Mary who asked: “How would you describe Dean?”

Castiel thought about it and then said: “Kind, handsome, charming, loving, maybe a bit self sacrificing. He really is just a lovely person, who is good at cheering people up.”

Some people ahw-ed and Castiel blushed, so he quickly moved on to the next person. It was Kevin who asked: “So, how is your relationship with Sam? You must know him, right?”

“I do know Sam, yes.” Castiel answered, “He is a great person and we are close friends and he is also a great team mate in prank wars.”

People laughed at that and before he could point out someone else for the last question someone, he didn’t see who, called out just loud enough to be heard: “We’re probably not allowed to ask who tops, lol.”

Castiel pulled a tired face and said: “And that was the last question, which I will not be answering. Now back to Jule who was going to tell us about the changes in America after the Civil War.”

Some groaned and others chastised the person who ruined their last question, but they did follow up on their promise to pay attention and actually do something that lesson.

Castiel untied the knot of tension that had formed in his chest that hadn’t been as bad as he had imagined. He only had to repeat that every lesson that was to come and after that it was mostly back to normal, only he could kiss his husband whenever he pleased now without worrying, which was a definite plus.

[sirsapling]

MORE TAGGED POSTS

I got tagged in a bunch more things I didn't respond to fast enough, so UNDER THE CUT THEY GO. 

I have too many things to respond to, so I won't be tagging, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do any.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS

Tagged by the wonderful @bardingbeedle​

Pass the happy!🌻🌿 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Lying in warm blankets in an cold room. Bonus points for snow outside.

A fresh Buzz cut

Talking to @bardingbeedle​

Having long, passionate rambles about the Marvel Ultimates

Hashbrowns, bacon, maple syrup, maybe a pancake, and a sausage too.

Tagged by the chaotic @s-hylor​

top 3 cities you want to visit: Toronto, again. Colorado (I know its a state not a city I just want to visit ashes AND GET SNOW). And I would like to go back to Italy again. (I also want to visit, just, all of my fandom friends but I don't want to drop all their locations lol)

favorite marvel character: Ults!Steve Rogers and then Ults!Tony Stark. Not counting stony, Anthony the brain tumor, and not counting clones, Gregory Stark.

white chocolate - yay or nay?: Love it, love it, love it.

favourite board game: God Save The Queens- A board game about Bees I invented with 3 other people at University last year for a project.

how many countries have you been to: 10, I have been very luckily graced with the ability to travel to Europe with school a lot.

(Wales, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, America [Florida, Boston, New York], Spain, Portugal, Italy, and finally Canada.)

favorite thing to do on a rainy day: Anything indoors I might usually feel guilty about doing when its sunny. Tv or games particularly

favorite holiday: Christmas. I am a Christmas slut, call me festive sapling I LOVE Christmas.

pen or pencil: Pen. I once bought 7 in lisbon at the same time bc they were perfect and I didn't want to run out.

favourite kind of soup: Cupasoup Chicken noodle, I don't really like soups tbh, I like broths, and gravy type things I make too much of and eat like a soup (like golden Currys or korma sauces)

your typical order at a cafe or coffee shop: Caramel Frappucino or an iced Mocha. If I'm gonna pay a fuck tonne for coffee I'm gonna get a drinkable dessert.

favorite ride at an amusement park: Any slow rides that show you shit, like spaceship earth at EPCOT. I’m not really a speed dude.

the color of your sneakers: RED, red shoes are the shit folks, a good pair of red converse goes with everything.

favorite pbs show (or little kids show if you didn’t have pbs):  Uh I used to watch pokemon then winnie the pooh every single night. But little little kids show I used to watch a show called 64 zoo lane with my grandma so I have fond memories

Rules: name your favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people.

Tagged by the wonderful @ashes0909​

Natasha Romanov - Marvel Cinematic Universe

Carol Danvers - Marvel 616

Janet Van Dyne - Marvel Ultimates

Izumi Curtis - Full Metal Alchemist

Martha Jones - Doctor Who

Garnet - Steven Universe (if she doesn't count bc, space rock, Connie)

Rosa Diaz - Brooklyn 99

Ann Perkins  - Parks and Rec

Princess Caroline - Bojack Horseman

Pam Poovey - Archer

LOOK I know there was a lot of cheating here, but I don't have non marvel fandoms really, and I have a hard time remembering a lot of the TV I enjoyed.

Rules: Share your top 10 AO3 additional tags. Tagged by the mysterious @nigmuff​

look I don't know if I have enough tags to make this a justified representation, but the ones shown are v much on brand.

Fanfic trope meme

I was tagged by the delightful @capnstars​ and @crownofstardustandbone​

slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or !!!secret dating!!! // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut AND fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it  // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or !!!!middle-aged romance!!! // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates  // sci-fi or magic au // body swap or genderbend  // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Look guys, I’m boring. I like domestic 30-40 year olds in secret relationships. We knew this.

And now buckle the fuck down folks because I'm about to answer 50 questions about me no one is gonna stick around and read.

tagged by @bardingbeedle​ the only person who would put up with reading this much about me.

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I have a buzz cut, I don't have a hair brush anymore.

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Too warm. I have been warmer than most people my whole life, and I often need to sleep with a fan on.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Working on a sketch for an MTH fill (update from the end of this: I have spent an hour doing this fuckin thing)

What is your favourite candy bar?

Bounty. My favourite candy is Reese’s Pieces but I like a bounty. Or like, and chocolate without fruit in it tbh.

Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, one of my parents referees Championship Football here in the UK. I have been to a few of his games. I also went to the London 2012 Paralympic closing ceremony, if that counts.

What is the last thing you said out loud?

‘Oh, this will last me a few days’ I was talking to my mother about 1/2 a can of pringles, I was lying.

What is your favourite ice cream?

Vanilla. I am boring. But the best ice cream i’ve had was a cream/milk flavoured gelato in Florence, that shit slapped. I also like cheap strawberry ice cream when no one is trying to put strawberry bits in it.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Dinner. A spinach, banana, summer fruits and coconut yoghurt smoothie (with extra raspberries). Its my nightly dinner to cheat more veg into my body.

Do you like your wallet?

Very much. It’s about 7-8 years old, it is faded to hell but it has spiderman and a pony ride stony pin

What was the last thing you ate?

See above smoothie comment, but if that doesn't count, a sugar free mint polo.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Nope. I don't buy as many clothes as I want to, bc mens clothes in larger sizes are hard to find or expensive here.

The last sporting event you watched?

F1, I don't keep up but I watch a little with my dad every now and then.

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

BUTTER. They don't really have it here, and I don't go to movies much when in the states. But @festiveferret​ introduced me to it when we saw Ant-man and the Wasp, and much like poutine and Tim Hortons, I still crave it.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

My dad. 

Ever go camping?

Yes, I was a Scout. I have done enough camping to not want to do more, it was fun when I wasn't organising it.

Do you take vitamins?

Yes, but not as often as I should, and as much as my mother bothers me too.

Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope, not even when I considered myself christian. I go only go to church for other peoples events, and I’m an agnostic now.

Do you have a tan?

I cannot tan. I just can't, I burn lobster red in 5 minutes outside without literal sun cream for BABIES

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

Chinese food, It was easily what taught me to like more foods also, I don't eat tomato so I can't have most pizza. I love a good garlic base/bechamel, but you can't really get that here easily (yes yes I could make my own but that ruins half the point of pizza)

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't drink carbonated drinks, because its like drinking pain. The fuck is wrong with all of you.

What colour socks do you usually wear?

Various colours, but I consider red on the left, blue on the right, my lucky socks. No I don't know why, but I take all exams and interviews wearing them. It’s just a thing.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't drive, but if I did, No. Theres a lot of questionable laws out there but Traffic laws aren't one of them.

What terrifies you?

Pfft, most things from spiders to rollercoasters. But more seriously, Being shouted at. Shout at me and I start hyperventilating, its a thing. Also not knowing if someone is mad at me. I’m not good at reading people,

Look to your left, what do you see?

The wallet shown earlier, and the sugar free polos mentioned after that.

What chore do you hate?

Vacuuming. It makes everything in my body hurt. I would rather clean toilets.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

@s-hylor​

What’s your favourite soda?

See above. I do not like your pain liquid. Apple juice for life.

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

Either delivery or kiosk, I don't like talking to people where possible, I often need tweaks I don't want to have to remember to repeat.

Who’s the last person you talked to?

@downeyhills​

Favourite cut of beef?

I don't generally eat beef, lamb, or most red meats. I love crispy chilly beef, but as anyone can point out its bc your generally don't feel the texture of the beef.

Last song you listened to?

Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears | Pomplamoose

I’m on a Pomplamoose kick, and I also just love this song anyway.

Last book you read?

Understanding Comics (The invisible Art) - Scott McCloud

Favourite day of the week?

Friday nights. The weekend is ahead and @loraneldin​ and I take to wrangling our beloved usual suspects through another week of Ults Book Club.

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can barely say it forwards.

How do you like your coffee?

With milk and sugar, or ultimately, in a Caramel Frappuccino bc I'm a bitch like that.

Favourite pair of shoes?

I have walking boots that don't make my flat ass feet feel like they’re dying. OR my black and green crocs (Fight me, they’re useful).

The time you normally go to sleep?

9-10 is what I'm working on, but I fluctuate depending on if I'm working on something or not.

The time you normally get up?

5-6 If I have a choice in the matter, but often 7-8 if I didn't get to bed at the right time. I’m more about getting the right hours in for my diet than time specifically.

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunset is the prettiest, but I like to be awake to see the sun rise.

How many blankets on your bed?

One big thick comforter, because that's the uk standard, and I get too hot otherwise.

Describe your kitchen plates

Two types, big wide white ones with a navy blue rim. They are so large I never use them, and little Navy saucer plates I use a lot.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don't drink, so no. I drink apple juice or Shirley temples when I'm in pubs/bars

Do you play cards?

Sometimes, I like to teach people to play Old Maid. It’s the monopoly of card games.

What colour is your car?

Again, I do not drive. 

Can you change a tire?

I am aware I just said I don't have a car, but I do know how to change a tire. Everyone should go learn its pretty simple.

Favourite job you’ve ever had?

I have only had one job really and two job experience jobs. I did experience in a school library for a week and that was v fun and chill. I did all the jobs they had prepared for me in 2 days so I alphabetically reorganised their fiction section for the rest of the week. I LIKE ORDERING.

How did you get your biggest scar?

I no longer have a gallbladder, so I have 3 scars across my torso from that, the biggest right in the middle of my ribs. Non surgical wise I have matching scars on my knees from ripping holes in them when tripping. I have weak ankles and also I got both of those at different times.

What did you do today that made someone else happy?

I gave my spare animal crossing Iguanodon skull to a wicked artist I follow on twitter so he could complete his dino park. 

[wtfzodiacsigns]

LOVER BOYS

*sun, venus & mars*

ARIES The Angel. Sometimes, when you look at him, he bites his lip the way he does when he’s concentrating real hard, and your whole heart just sighs. And he just makes you feel, it. Like when he comes home from the studio with tired eyes and a big fat check, he grabs you so tight, and he tells you you’re fucking beautiful, that you’re his girl and that he’s gonna take care of you. Everything else fades away, and the only thing left is his lips on your neck and the sound of crashing waves from the balcony.

TAURUS The Vampire. You never see him when it’s light out, but somehow his Instagram story is always filled with juicy ass brunches. Tatted to hell and back, spends his evenings making Soundcloud beats and he has those glazed eyes making you wonder if he’s ever completely sober. You never knew he felt that way about you. Until tonight. Maybe you’ve never noticed it, or maybe he’s just good. Doesn’t matter now, because all you wanna do is kiss him from his abs to his neck, all the way up to where his tattoo peeks out from his shirt.

GEMINI The House of Mirrors. The one that puts your heart in the dryer. Seems to have fast paced life full of people that adore him. His sneakers are a holy entity. His entire aura is clouded with the illusion of a constant hustle, but when you get close to him you realize he never actually does anything. Has this trick of kissing you instead of answering questions, but it doesn’t matter because after about a month you get tired of keeping up with his numerous different aesthetic alter egos and bail.

CANCER The Firework. A surfer boy body with sun touched curls keeps staring at you from across the bar. Suddenly your face isn’t just red from working all night. He asks you when you get off, your boss leans over and says “She gets off right now.” After pretending to be offended for about three seconds you quickly take off your apron and enter that magical bubble. His voice is like caramel, his eyes look like they swallowed an entire ocean, you stare at him as his lips keep moving. The sparkle fades, melancholy sets in, and you think to yourself what a waste of a vessel for a man who wants you to be his second mother.

LEO The Nice Guy. Has told everyone but you that he’s into you. That easy confidence he oozes draws you in, but when you finally confront him about liking you he suddenly shrinks in size. Brings you flowers just because. Tries to convince everyone and himself that he is driven by logic, but actually he’s just scared shitless of irrational emotions so he tries to ignore them. Usually ends up with a full blown meltdown you have to diffuse by explaining his feelings to him. He’s a sweetheart though with good intentions, even though his emotional intelligence will never pass that of a high school boy.  

VIRGO The Puppy Love. The one who’s had a crush on you since forever, the one who has always been around. You kissed once in the 6th grade, and now you’re wondering what he’s learned these last few years. He’s grown but there is still that aura of innocence around him. And then he starts dating one of your best friends, makes parties uncomfortable for about a year until he breaks up with her, gets mad at you for dancing with another guy and then drunkenly recites a poem about wanting to get in your panties on Easter Sunday. God bless.

LIBRA The Tender Hearted. Takes you out for sushi on your first date. Shyly asks if he can hold your hand, waits until you are at your front door to kiss you. And he kisses so softly. Doesn’t wanna come in because he “doesn’t wanna rush things”. Texts you memes all day the morning after, your heart melts because he’s such a dork. The next night you go to the movie theatre, he plays with your fingers and lets you steal his popcorn. And you realize you’re not really watching the movie, but focusing on trying to slow down your heartbeat. That night he’s so gentle, too gentle. And after you’re not sure how you feel about him anymore. A week later he’s only texted you once and you answered a day later, and then you hear he’s talking to some girl in his history class and didn’t think to break it off because he thought it was implied. Sure was bro.

SCORPIO The Forbidden Fruit. The one who shall not be named, the one you keep a ten meter distance of every time you are in the same place. Keeps his molly in a PEZ dispenser. Smells too damn fucking good. And that’s how you knew you were in trouble. You turn around and he’s behind you, looking at you like that. He doesn’t need anything more than a ‘hi’. You remind yourself you don’t wanna be one of his girls while his husky voice asks you what you’ve been up to. The party is so loud and he’s too close. It happens. It’s as good as you imagined it to be, but afterwards you pretend not to want him. Because him not wanting you would be too painful.

SAGITTARIUS The Young Daddy. The one who always tells you your man’s not good enough for you. Picks you up in three different cars in one week. All mommy and daddys of course. Hypnotizing brown puppy eyes. And that vein on his bicep after boxing practice. Driving through the hills, the view of the city from here is breathtaking. You feel so strange, like this isn’t reality, the leather seat of his Audi is so warm. Then you look at him, and he is so warm. And suddenly, you know there is nothing you can do to stop this.

CAPRICORN The Burnout. Crazy talented but no ambition. Justifies his bad habits with some fake deep motto, but in reality is just scared of his own potential. Makes you feel calm, like you can be yourself and he won’t judge you. One night he asks you if you wanna try some weed, and now every time you hang out you seem to be high. His bedroom is a like a little cocoon. It’s 4 am, and you’re having a staring contest with his Pikachu poster and a pile of laundry his mum folded for him, and in that moment you realize, you need get the fuck out of there.

AQUARIUS The Stranger. He’s the one, that when you see him, your entire being just screams internally. He’s not exactly shy, more reserved. To quote Alyssa from The End of the Fucking World, “Sometimes I look at him and I think, are you a bit dead?” Always so polite, from the old lady at the coffee shop to the little girl who ran him down as he was walking you home. His face is beaming, but his eyes are always a bit empty. Like you can’t see anything behind them. You find it hard to care because his face is so gorgeous, so you keep making him laugh just to see them sparkle for a moment.

PISCES The Hot Mess. Can’t help the way you feel when he looks at you. He knows you’re working tonight so he comes and sits in the corner booth with his friends. And just looks at you. So evanescent, just floats in and out of your life. Blames his attitude on his ex girlfriend. And yet you can’t help it when he calls at 2 am. You come sit in his lap while a party rages on behind the closed door, and tell him, “No, but someday.” He takes his hands of your thighs and softly places them around your hips, “Why not today?” his breath is hot on your neck, and the next few moments flash before your eyes. “Because I want you to remember it.”

Source: spaacedoll

[nacrepearl]

This anniversary, I wanted to pay tribute to the show by redrawing my favorite SDCC poster. With a few changes. It’s been 3 years since this poster came out on the internet, but it’s the poster for the first SDCC I experienced in this fandom. Below the cut is me being sentimental because I really love this show and its impact on my life is greater than one would think.

March 26th, 2015. I decide to watch Steven Universe after seeing gifsets of the first Stevenbomb on my dash from lingering members of the people who worked on my previous hyperfixation Attack on Space (A spinoff AU from the parent series Attack on Titan, which my interest in was fading quickly). I opt to watch the episodes that are on demand because they’re easier to access. I watch Alone Together first, Full Disclosure second (actual quote from me, who hadn’t known about SU’s musical nature: “Since when is SU a musical?!”). I then spend the next week or two watching the episodes on demand, then going onto KissCartoon to watch the series in order, in its entirety. (Quote when watching S1E05 Frybo: “I’m glad I’m watching these now before this inevitably becomes my new hyperfixation.” I have second hand embarrassment moments from this episode to this day). My brother decides to watch with me occasionally.

Fast forward to the end of March. I’m caught up with the series (back then only up to Joy Ride, which aired the day I began this journey). My friend Zac and I are now both into the show, and the following week Attack the Light comes out the same day that Say Uncle airs. Say Uncle is the first episode I watch live. I download ATL and finish it within a week. The rest of the weekly episodes (you heard me: weekly) were to follow and I was excited to officially be involved in the fandom. The beginning of April, I found the comics and I got to issue #5, the one where Pearl sucks in a gem-embedded book into her own gem and becomes ill from it. that was the day that I realized Pearl was my favorite character. Hurt/comfort is my way to tell.

I carry on watching the episodes throughout the month, and then after Reformed airs, we are faced with a hiatus. back then, a month and a half was a long time. Then, I got into the Pearl theories. I was all over the so called “nacre theory” right up until the theory had been confirmed in Back to the Barn (I still am, though the term “nacre theory” takes on a whole new meaning that I’m not sure will see the light of day now that we know more about Homeworld). You should have seen me go ham reblogging things about Pearl being lower-class, a lowly technician (ha), a maintenance drone. And all Pearls looked exactly the same back then in the fanart.

May 26th they announced the second Stevenbomb, half the fandom combusted. So did I. Sworn to the Sword happened and I had more fuel for the NT. I woke up that Thursday morning to a gifset of Pearl and Rose’s fusion dance because We Need to Talk leaked and spontaneously combusted right there. Then they announced Week of Sardonyx and our naive selves said “another one?” I went camping that weekend, which was also the weekend of SDCC. I nearly had a heart attack from my over-excitement when I got home that Sunday.

Week of Sardonyx came and went, with even more fuel to the fire for the NT. Cartoon Network does their greatest fuckup of the year by accidentally putting all of the Summer of Steven episode titles a whole year before they air. They changed the release date for the weekly episodes from August 6th to September 10th, and then we were graced by small Peridot on September 24th.

Back to the Barn airs. I die.

Then we go into a very long hiatus until Stevenbomb 4, airing in January 2016. This marks the first epsiodes to be leaked with the traditional screenshots + 2 minute clip. This was our first look at both diamonds + their pearls, and people were reasonably excited. Then we entered what we thought was the longest hiatus in fandom history–and we got the In Too Deep special earlier than expected.

Following the special, they announced the Steven Nuke/Summer of Steven. 4 weeks of episodes every night from mid-July to mid-August. Mr. Greg was the first musical episode and the crew hyped it up so much and yet it still had a huge impact on those watching that night. It was nominated for an Emmy one year later in 2017. We got some of the most intense episodes of the show in that bomb, with Amethyst’s arc, Bismuth holding the first half-hour special, the revelation that Rose supposedly shattered Pink Diamond, and Centipeetle’s corruption being explained further. Following SOS, there were weekly episodes and then another short hiatus, until Gem Harvest’s release in November. A short hiatus and then Three Gems and a Baby aired in early December.

During 2016, I meet two of my best friends through the fandom - @always-make-it-gayer and @hackerperidot. Gale and J have been my friends since that summer and because of this fandom, I’ve been less lonely and have had a blast in the ever growing group chat we have (Reverse Garden of Eden). I love you guys, and of course everyone else in the chat.

Following 3GAAB, in early January 2017, the entirety of Stevenbomb 5 drops on the app. Pictures with the diamonds and the zoo and the famethyst were on the internet in seconds. I had been on holiday break from school, and the night this all dropped was the first school night when the break was over. I stayed up very late, watched the episodes when I woke up for school in the morning, and listened to What’s the Use of Feeling Blue on repeat in the cold, snowy weeks to come. This was also right around the time my mom bought a house and we were ready to move in.

I got another birthday episode–Rocknaldo, airing on February 24th. Could’ve been better. I’m not complaining though. SU was crucial during this time because I was feeling very depressed and closed off due to the move and missing the apartment. The New Crystal Gems was the last episode the apartment got to see, and I promised to show Pearl’s backstory when it eventually aired, but we moved too early for that to happen. I like to imagine it can see my journal entries (you can ask if you want, in short it’s a coping mechanism I developed). Thereafter, we had another hiatus leading up to the sixth Stevenbomb with Aquamarine and Topaz. That bomb ended with the saddest episode in the series, finalizing season 4. Then the Wanted event aired, and we got so much lore content and more hints to the Pink Diamond mystery.

There came the biggest hiatus in the fandom’s history to this day. We were so thirsty for content. It was dry as fuck and the only light in the dark was SDCC with the Lars of the Stars clip (which would then air months later) and the trailer for the first half of season 5′s kickoff bomb.

Gemcation airs, and everyone finally understands Pearl’s quirk with covering her mouth in discussions about the diamonds. We all were getting so antsy at this point to find out what was happening with Pink Diamond and the lore behind the show and by god where is White Diamond?

We get Stranded in January 2018, allowing us to spark the “diamonds get revealed in January” meme with the Pink Diamond face reveal. Of course, this is debunked by Legs From Here To Homeworld in July 2018.

We get more episodes in March, and then are plunged into the final reveal in May with the half hour event, Can’t Go Back and A Single Pale Rose. The fandom collectively freaked out with the revelation that Pearl and Rose were diamond and pearl and faked the shattering in an effort to end the war. The people who survived this saw the Heart of the Crystal Gems arc in July. This was the week that held the Rupphire wedding.

Reunited airs, and I am surrounded by 3 of my best friends ( @asassynerdnamedgabbs, @neroblackcat, and @hackerperidot who had been visiting New York from Australia that week ) so I hold myself back from reacting too much. I cried that night out of sheer joy that my favorite show was the first cartoon to show a lesbian wedding on national TV. Of course, we get the diamonds and then SDCC the following weeks, with Legs From Here to Homeworld. I am at my cousin’s graduation party the day of the panel and my phone is slowly losing battery percentage as I try to keep up with the tweets and posts about what was going on. It was a huge deal.

Now we arrive here. Nothing had been shown at last month’s NYCC which is unusual, but that’s okay. We are still on hiatus, and it is SU’s 5th anniversary of being on the air. I am patiently waiting for the show to come back, and I’ll have more memories to make with this fandom in the months to come.

Happy Anniversary, SU!

[acest-of-them-all]

So now story time bc today is the day I became extremely sure I am asexual

So. Let's go waaay back to when I was a kid and had no idea there was other sexualities than straight. Obviously I assumed I was gonna have a boyfriend sometime. I didn't really think about it, though. It wasn't relevant because I was a kid and I had other worries like what will I play with my friends during the breaks between classes.

When I was about 13-14, I had discovered the fact that there were not only straight people, but also gays, lesbians and bisexuals. I was like hey, girls are nice, I would date a girl as well as a boy. So I labeled mhself as a bisexual. Now, I hadn't had any real crushes(I now have realized), only a few people I had taken interest in, so I didn't really know how attraction to another person felt like.

When I was about 14 years old or when I was turning 15, I wasn't so sure about my gender anymore. I didn't feel good in my body, and I hated it so, so much. I had more knowledge of sexualities and genders, so I began to wonder, if what I was experiencing was me being transgender. I was kind of suspicious though, because the feeling came so late, and not as a child already. But I knew that the gut-wrenching feeling that made me want to throw up I got when someone called me a girl, was very real. I was convinced I was a transgender, and I was fine with that. It still hurt though, when after two years of feeling horrible dysphoria with my body I told my mom that I was pretty sure I was trans, she still would address me and my sister as "girls" when talking of both of us. I never got the chance to tell my father, though. At some point, I realized that I might not be able to go through the surgeries, as the places I could do that were quite far away, and I didn't know how expensive it was gonna be. Soon, I was fine with that, too, because I realized that my discomfort in my body being female was fading. I was so confused. I had felt like a boy for the last two years and now I suddenly felt like wearing more makeup and dressing more femininely?? I was like huh. I was a fake after all.

At the same time I started to realize that I didn't feel the desire to become close to people. I thought I was somehow incorrectly developed, that it would come to me later, so I didn't really pay attention to it.

Now, in the spring, this year. My first year of vocational school was almost over. We had photography, and I was sitting at my computer on my phone, because I had already edited all the photos I had taken and nothing else to do. There was this guy, that I knew my friend knew, sitting at the computer next to me. He wasn't in our class(he was on his second year). He asked about what we had been doing, which I found weird, because I didn't know this dude, but I just awkwardly answered him. We conversed for a while, and he offered to show me how the studio lights and flashes work. I accepted, because yeah, I had nothing else to do. Well. He showed me how they worked, I was quite awkward all the time, and he asked about stuff. One thing he asked was if I had ever kissed anyone. I obviously hadn't, so I answered no. He asked if I wanted to try. I was confused and I kind of panicked so I accepted. I was tense and nervous and confused, and he told me to relax and close my eyes. I slapped my hand over my eyes, because I couldn't bring myself to close them, I was so nervous. I was just standing there, tense as hell, as he kissed me. Or tried to. It didn't go well, as I kept my lips tightly together and I was panicking. He told me I had to relax, to which I repeatedly told him that I wasn't capable of that. That was followed by him letting it go and us both apologizing for making things awkward. The whole thing was like straight out of a fanfiction. Except that if it was a fanfiction, I wouldn't have been an already suspecting ace, I would have magically been able to kiss him back and we'd have banged in the studio. Yeah, no. I didn't really see him after that, which I was pretty relieved of, because now I wouldn't have to deal with awkward shit! At that point I was almost completely sure I was ace and aro, because I didn't feel like romantic relationships were really my thing and the idea of me having sex with someone, to be completely honest, disgusted me. I had also found a term that I felt like it fit my gender: genderfluid. My preferred gender tends to change quite slowly, I can feel really feminine for months, or really masculine for, apparently, years. Sometimes it's one of those, but in between happens too. Currently I am leaning a little bit on the feminine side.

Anyways. This fall. Summer was over, my second year of school started. And I get to live alone, which is super awesome! One day, after like two weeks of school, the guy texts me(we had exchanged our numbers back then), asking how I'd been. We talked about stuff, it was casual and cool. He's pretty nice, since he likes memes and listens to good music. I told him that I lived alone, and he joked about coming to ruin my peaceful isolated life. I was like yeah, you can come over sometime if you want to, because sometimes some company isn't too bad. The next monday he came to hang out, and it was cool. We listened to music, showed each other memes and all, and I was relieved it wasn't awkward(I had done research on the internet on how to carry on with a conversation before he arrived lmao). Then he left and everything was well in the kingdom. A week or two went by, he would occasionally text me and yeah. It was cool and I was like whoa did I manage to make a friend.

Until.

The day before yesterday(saturday). He texted me like usual and asked if I wanted to hang out on sunday, but because I wouldn't have had any time, we agreed to hang out on monday. A.k.a. today. And then he asked if I still couldn't kiss. And I was like ooohh nooooo, and said that no, I can't because who the hell would my ace ass I have been kissing? He was like well do you want to try on monday and internally I was like WHY??? DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW AWKWARD IT WAS??? And because I figured that the sooner he realizes I'm a hopeless case, the sooner he leaves me alone with the kissing stuff(and because my idiot brain is like BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE A FAKE ACE??? WHAT IF YOU DO LIKE IT HMMM?!? and I wanted to be sure), I was like uuuhhh sure I guess. I warned him that I was most likely going to be awkward as hell AGAIN, but he just told me to "relax and enjoy". Which confused me because I simply do not see the appeal of having other person's tongue shoved down your throat, but I let it be.

So he came over. We conversed for a while, then browsed memes again(which meant we were both sitting on my bed). Soon he was like sooo about the kissing and I was like oh god oh god what do I do, so my brain switched into "scientific experiment" mode, and I was like yeah, I only need to think of this as an experiment on what kissing feels like and everything would be fine. So he told me to get in his lap and I was just confused as hell and was like uuhhh do I have to like do something, to which he answered that not really. And then he kissed me. And his tongue was in my mouth. It didn't taste like anything, it felt weird and I was just kind of trying to not be too awkward, trying to somehow respond to it. He asked how it was and I was like weird, not the most unpleasant thing but nothing special either. And we ended up lying down and kind of cuddling on my bed, which was okay. I was just making random comments about like how babies have more bones than adults and at some point I was like do you wanna take a nap, naps are nice, to which he agreed. It wasn't a nap though. He kissed me some more and yeah. At some point though he had to leave, so he did. And that's when it really hit me. I felt really unhygienic and weirded out. I still could taste his tongue, which is why I brushed my teeth twice in a row. The taste wouldn't go away! I ate, and I noticed I was terribly aware of my own tongue in my mouth. I could still smell his deodorant or whatever it was, and now it wasn't even nice anymore, it was disturbing and overwhelming. I couldn't even drink from my bottle normally because of the way it feels! I brushed my teeth one more time and put my clothes at my window to air out, I don't want them to smell like him. I went and scrubbed myself under a practically boiling shower, I think I've never been so thorough when showering. I'm still confused. Why do I feel so disgusted and unclean, when clothes weren't even reduced? Apparently it doesn't need much. But if mere kissing makes me like this, I can't even imagine myself in even a slightly more intimate situation. Just, no. If he wants to do that again, I gotta tell him that kissing definitely isn't my thing, maybe just straight up tell him that I'm asexual. At least now I'm sure about it lol

[itsnotpatsy]

i think you answered it in a meme recently, but talk about trish and daphne's relationship. how did they get together / what drew trish to daphne / how long they think it will last, etc. idk just soft things, write some headcanons you have about them maybe

So I’m gonna go off of V: CRIMINALLYFAMOUS: LA VIE EN ROSE that I have with @criminallyfamous (holy shit asks let me tag people now thank god) which happens wherein Trish meets Daphne during her stint making the music video with Max for her record label who is— abusive and creepy toward her and has been trying to groom her into loving him she was 15 I mean. It’s no coincidence that in canon the video’s produced by the same dude who ruined her life when she was a kid. So Daphne ends up falling for her because in between being a really fucked up mess she finds out she’s incredibly good hearted and surprise, you know what Daph’s Achilles heel is? Good hearted, interesting people who intrigue her. When she freaks out Trish might be in really serious danger, she convinces Debbie, Tammy and Lou (which they’ve been planning the whole time) they need to expedite Trish out of the country. Which in phase 1 means she’s a missing person. Living with them in a spacious apartment in France, she detoxes, slowly improves (not without stumbling), works with Daphne on the movie she’s directing, and learns to find herself under a pseudonym. Phase 2 means she blackmails Max by making it seem as though she was kidnapped and kept hostage at his manse in Monaco. Phase 3 means she gets back to the states, publicly gets with Daphne, and they get to move in together and be an actual thing finally while Trish testifies enough to have Max incarcerated for everything he’s done, to her and whoever else was victimized by him. By the time he’s incarcerated, Trish’s mother is by way of heavy implication and fraud (after Debbie, spiteful and protective, manages to offer Dorothy several millions for knowledge on Trish under the guise of writing a book and all the funds so happen to be extremely illegal, false, and involved in a larger illegal operation she dug up), it’s been hovering around three years Daph’s been with Trish. So after Daph proposes to her, they get to learn how to be real people living in society. Well, trish, now around twenty-three years old, gets to.

So what drew Daphne to Trish was that, in spite of how very, very off balance she was, how much she was suffering, there was maybe the last innocent, kind person she knew of in there. When Daphne suggests she quit the video with what’s going on, Trish says she can’t, more than three hundred jobs depend on her finishing this. And that’s the first nail in the coffin. Daphne’s absolute first sort of fascination is with the fact that someone so hurt, someone hurting so badly, can still self-sacrifice in a way so dogged when she could just up and leave. As for Trish’s draw to Daphne, it begins in a way surprisingly basic: Trish has been a fan of her movies since she was younger. Princess Diaries was significantly escapist for her, as a dream she’d had since she was small— that her father, kicked out and faded into obscurity by her mother, might show up, some kind of prince, and she’d be a princess, and he’d take her and off they’d go. Not aligned, but still. She’s admired her throughout her career and Daphne’s the one person who’s ever treated her like a person— the first to make her understand she shouldn’t do anything she doesn’t want to.

Interestingly, Daph, right up to the point they let go of Trish to lie to the authorities about Max in a grand circus, thinks there’s a timer on their relationship. Right up until Trish, who has been positive this is the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with, gives Daph a pink diamond bracelet and asks if she still wants them to be together back in New York. Daphne enthusiastically says of course, more than convinced now there’s a permanence to this. The fact is, to Trish the click was immediate, easy. From moment one she knew. Daph’s reservations laid in her own insecurity, but Trish hasn’t yet been through the ringer that makes her doubt herself completely.

And while we’re here, headcanons:

• Trish plans to get back into acting eventually though it’s very difficult for her. Daph’s been extremely supportive, because frankly she thinks Trish is a well of natural talent. Which she is. • Trish auditions for a movie Daph thinks sounds incredible entitled ‘Rachel Getting Married’ that would be great for her. The content proves too much for her to handle without risking a relapse, a breakdown, or both. • Daphne, instead, auditions and gets it. Trish coaches her on it, since it’s entirely about addiction and recovery. • Daph wins an Oscar for it. No wife’s ever been as proud as Trish. • Daph likes buying Trish expensive scarves so that she can pull her in by them to kiss her. • Trish has and is always wearing a coat but she’s more often than not shoved into Daphne’s because in spite of being 5’11” while Daph’s quite a little bit shorter, Trish still think she’s small. • Trish cuts off and dyes all her hair honey blonde twice. When she’s done going through withdrawals and when she gets back to the US and spends her first night officially living in Daphne’s apartment. She can try to tuck hair that isn’t there behind her ears constantly now, still very much a habit. • She wore but wasn’t big on contacts. Eventually encouraged to be herself, fake Parisian Trish learned she could wear her glasses and not worry about her mother’s insistence it ruined her image. • Trish refuses to ever let her hair get long again. She finds she’s much more comfortable with it short, though she might let it get to her shoulders, one day, maybe. • Daph and Trish have dinner every Sunday with Deb, Tammy, and Lou, who they see spontaneously throughout the week anyway. They argue over ordering takeout until Tammy cooks during the takeout argument and then they can’t order takeout. • Debbie still orders takeout. • Once a week, Daph and Trish pick up Tammy’s daughter from school because she believes Daphne is a real life princess. She’s still forgiving Trish for cutting her ‘princess hair.’ • Daphne basically has a running calendar of all Trish’s doctor’s appointments from chiropractors to acupuncturists to therapists because she’s going to fucking take care of herself if it kills her, and Trish’s record of abuse damage leaves her with enough chronic pain and a reckless disregard for her health. • Daphne likes to take Trish’s glasses off to kiss her or push her up into her hair. It’s all very light. She knows how badly Trish needs light. Deserves light. • She’s going to spend the rest of her life with an enormously tall, angry, hipster-looking asshole with a heart of gold. • Trish gets her GED after a considerable amount of time and then finally attends college. She teeters constantly on a liberal arts major, for the flexibility, but goes for women’s and gender studies. • Daphne directs Trish in the first film she chooses to do out of ‘acting retirement’. It’s extremely lax and meant to be a place she can stretch her legs again, but Trish quickly proves Daphne was right: her natural talent is absolutely incredible and her instincts are on point. • Debbie gives Trish a middle name: it’s Vivienne, which is her mother’s (presumed) name, because she wants Trish to feel like she’s part of the family. Trish cries. • Trish is going to spend the rest of her life with the woman who got her out of the worst thing she’s ever been through, who she thinks is the most talented, loving person alive. • Trish takes Daphne’s last name. She doesn’t want her own, not here. • Which doesn’t matter because Daphne’s inevitably going to be given Debbie’s because That’s Her Mom. • oh wow this got away from me

[nofomoartworld]

Art F City: This Week’s Must-See Art Events: The AFC Goth Benefit and More

Joseph Keckler, shot by Jaimie Warren

The time has finally come. Our Goth Benefit is here. We’ll be converting Collapsable Hole into a goth wonderland, complete with drag performers, surprise guests, and options such as handcuffs for couples. (We’re also having a goth couple outfit contest, so plan accordingly). If last year’s benefit was any indication, this is basically going to be the party of the year.

Wednesday, nurse your hangover with a likely-nipple-tastic Betty Tompkins solo show at Marlborough Contemporary. Other highlights this week include Siebren Versteeg’s digital paintings at bitforms on Thursday, the annual Seven on Seven conference at the New Museum on Saturday, and Sunday’s open studios at the Studio Museum in Harlem.

Don’t forget: Buy your Goth Opera tickets now!

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Tue

Collapsable Hole

55 Bethune Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.Website

The AFC Goth Benefit

As anyone who has ever attended an AFC benefit can tell you, we know how to throw a good party.

This year, our annual benefit is a celebration of all things goth. Joseph Keckler will be performing his epic, operatic “Goth Song”, we’ve got giveaways from Hot Topic (yes really), a goth photobooth manned by Sean Fader, and so much more. I’ll be DJing as Ellen Degenerate (leave goth song requests in the comments!) and promise to keep the party going long after my black lipstick has faded.

If you want some behind-the-scenes info about the benefit, check out our interview with Performa Magazine, where I talk goth with Paddy Johnson, Joseph Keckler, and Jaimie Warren (who did our awesome promo photos).

Advanced Tickets:

Artist/Student/Musician—$75.

Individual—$150

Gothic coupling (the ultimate date night for those who come in costume):$250

Additional donation levels and perks available. Tickets at the door cost $100 for artists and $200 for individuals. 

Wed

Marlborough Contemporary

545 W 25th St New York, NY 10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. Website

Betty Tompkins

It should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that we at AFC love Betty Tompkins. She’s been making super-graphic drawings and paintings of porn since the late 60’s, when such work was a big feminist no-no. Thankfully, today, she has an audience for her larger-than-life depictions of (often very weird) intercourse.

Bonus: Marlborough Contemporary is opening two other shows today, Julius Von Bismarck and Lucas Ajemian.

Thu

bitforms gallery

131 Allen Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. Website

Siebren Versteeg: Reflection Eternal

Siebren Versteeg’s digital paintings are generated by code. One, for instance, endlessly creates a wallpaper motif. Another, “Today,” samples the crushing stream of images from the web and distorts their content into surprisingly pleasing compositions.

I saw a similar work of Versteeg’s (“Fake News”) at Material Art Fair earlier this year, and it remains one of the fair’s most memorable highlights.

COMPANY

88 Eldridge Street (5th Floor) New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. Website

Body Language

There’s basically no information about Body Language anywhere online beyond this drawing of a dress form and a list of artists. Nevertheless, this is an absolute must-see. We have never been disappointed by Jacolby Satterwhite’s imaginative work, and in a show about the body he’s sure to shine—whether that means a vogue performance in a digitally-printed jumpsuit or a VR environment full of CGI doppelgangers having an orgy. The suspense is killing us!

Artists: niv acosta, Jimmy DeSana, Jacolby Satterwhite, Tschabalala Self

Fri

SOHO20 Gallery

56 Bogart Street Brooklyn, NY 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Website

She Persisted

We don’t know much about the artists in this show (SOHO20 National Affiliates members) but the premise has us hooked. The title gets its name from the “weaponized meme” of Mitch McConnell’s attempted take-down of Elizabeth Warren: “Sen. Warren was giving a lengthy speech… She had appeared to violate the rule. She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.”

Even in an era of political theater with far more jaw-dropping soundbites, this one has maintained traction. Turning it into a show is a great idea, and we look forward to seeing the results.

Artists: B Amore, Laura Cloud, Louise Farrell, Gail Hoffman, Elizabeth Michelman, Nelleke Nix, Barb Rehg, Ann Rowles, Georgia Strange, Rosie G. Thompson, Virginia Tyler

The Center for Book Arts

28 W 27th St New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.Website

En Masse: Books Orchestrated

Like houseplants, fluorescent lighting, and colorful rugs, books have made the jump from the realm of interior decor to full-blown contemporary art trend. Groups of books, as sculptural objects, seem to be everywhere these days. Curator Osman Can Yerebakan has clearly noted this, and organized an exhibition where groups of books are used as a sculptural medium. This should be a smart show, as it seems the tension between the book as a formal object and one that can contain content is explored.

Artists: Louis Zoeller Bickett, Jordan Buschur, Emilio Chapela, Özgür Demirci, Donald Daedalus, Leor Grady, Katarina Jerinic, Nina Katchadourian, j.c. lenochan, Liz Linden, Michael Mandiberg, Phil Shaw, Ward Shelley, Douglas Paulson, Yinka Shonibare MBE, Julia Weist.

Sat

New Museum

235 Bowery New York, NY 12:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m.Website

Seven on Seven

We look forward to seeing what comes out of Seven on Seven every year. Sometimes the results are brilliant, sometimes goofy, and often though-provoking. The event pairs seven artists with seven people from the tech industry (researchers, inventors, capitalists, designers, etc…) and prompts them to create anything they want.

This year’s pairings (below) look to be promising, and include plenty of artists who already blur the lines between artwork and product, digital media, etc…

Artist Jayson Musson & Jonah Peretti, Founder and CEO, Buzzfeed

Artist collective and NEW INC resident DIS & Rachel Haot, Managing Director, 1776

Artist Bunny Rogers & Nozlee Samadzadeh, Engineer, Vox

Artist Olia Lialina & Mike Tyka, artificial intelligence researcher at Google

Artist Addie Wagenknecht & Cindy Gallop, Founder, MakeLoveNotPorn and IfWeRanTheWorld

Artist Constant Dullaart & Chris Paik, Partner, Thrive Capital

Artist Miao Ying & Mehdi Yahyanejad, Founder, Balatarin and Net Freedom Pioneers

Paula Cooper Gallery

521 West 21st Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. Website

Justin Matherly: A recrudescence

Justin Matherly’s sculptures have an endearingly crafty, almost painterly quality to them that evokes folk objects of devotion or ancient ruins. Here, appropriately, his subject matter is Greek mythology. Specifically, Asclepius, Telesphoros and Hygeia—the ancient deities of medicine, recovery, and healthy.

Who doesn’t need a little recuperation about now?

Sun

The Studio Museum in Harlem

144 West 125th Street New York, NY 1:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.Website

Artists-in-Residence Open Studios

As its name would suggest, the residency program at The Studio Museum was one of the institution’s’s founding and most important programs. Twice a year, those studios open to the public, and we get a peek at the processes of some of the top Black contemporary artists. This batch comprises multidisciplinary artists Autumn Knight and Julia Phillips and painter Andy Robert. All three artists have process-intensive practices, so this edition of open studios should be particularly interesting.

The Java Project

252 Java St Brooklyn, NY 3:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m.Website

Gina Dawson: Bad Tattoos Closing Reception

Gina Dawson has been archiving others’ terrible, terrible tattoos through a variety of media. That might be a small painting of a tramp stamp or a large sculpture comprised of detritus from her past installations. These are funny, and oddly, feel a little precious. Practically everyone I know who went to art school has at least one regrettable tattoo, so I think we can all relate to this exhibition.

Curated by Carl Gunhouse.

from Art F City http://ift.tt/2nWiwOL via IFTTT

[demonmcngu-blog]

↕ 5'8 :3c

What’s Our Height Difference! - Accepting! - @abjectism

He’s squinting. Why is everyone so damn tall?

[demonmcngu-blog]

↕ 6'1'' LETS GO

What’s Our Height Difference! - Accepting! - @murdercusintent

“You’re just as bad as Bat get your butt down here on my level, you dang tree!”

[demonmcngu-blog]

↕ + 5'8

What’s Our Height Difference! - Accepting! - @libertassassin

“How the heck are you all that tall….”

[demonmcngu-blog]

↕ 6'1"

What’s Our Height Difference! - Accepting! - @aurochial

Of course the rich guy would be taller than him by that much. “…..You know you’re perfect shade height you know?”

[demonmcngu-blog]

( ↕ rosa here is 6'4"! )

What’s Our Height Difference! - Accepting! - @landsharkbite

Now it was just not fair. This one was even TALLER than Bat.

[demonmcngu-blog]

❝ Tastes like it’s been microwaved. ❞

I Ain’t A Professional Shut Up! - Accepting! - @beldriver

“That’s cause it is.” He said, shrugging and taking another bite of his food.

[demonmcngu-blog]

❝ YOU CAN’T STORE COOK MEAT AND RAW MEAT TOGETHER YOU FUCKING IDIOT! ❞

I Ain’t A Professional Shut Up! - Accepting! - @libertassassin

“Well I ain’t the one in charge of the kitchen ya dumb ass!” He isn’t even sure he and his room mates have decided who’s in charge of what yet.

[demonmcngu-blog]

✭✭✭!!!!!!!!!!!

Inside The Head Of Mangu - Accepting! - @fentauma

1: He’s actually the best at talking to girls out of the whole Demons Venom group, but due to being an introvert, he doesn’t show it, normally leaving the talking to people like Demon Bat or Demon Mummy. 

2: His ‘Ore-sama’ personality comes from his insecurity about his height. Everyone else in Demons Vemom towers over him, so he feels the need to push his image to stand out, despite actually being super popular. 

3: He’s actually pretty chill with supernatural stuff. Being from a world were demons, ghosts, yokai, and all the like are normal, he has no fear of said things. He’s more scared of things that are emotional.