#Fais rambles

[faislittlewhiteraven]

Undertale Yellow: An amazing fangame with one glaring thing I hate about it (that I need to rant about or else I'm going to go insane).

As the title says, Undertale Yellow was a game I really enjoyed playing. Lots of fun dialogue and designs, utterly fantastic art and animation (holy hell that Flowey fight! <3 <3 <3), great music and feels, etc. Seriously it deserves a ton of praise, not only as a fully completed fangame that took years of development, but as genuinely amazing prequel to one of my favorite games of all time.

...Unfortunately. Much as I truly enjoyed playing through the majority of the game, when I finished the True Pacifist route I was intensely unhappy with how that went and while the credits scenes and funeral for Cover helped ease some of the worst of it, I cannot help but wonder who the flipping f$%& in the development team thought presenting Clover's suicide as the 'just and happy' ending that all the friend characters accept with barely any argument was a good idea?!

Now to clarify: I went into Undertale Yellow knowing that Clover was going to die and that there were good odds their death was going to be self sacrificial or involve suicide. Undertale Yellow is a prequel to Undertale after all and children being murdered and/or sacrificing themselves for the greater good of lovable monster kind is an established part of the setting.

I came in knowing this game was bound to end tragically. I was excited to see how this game would pull that inevitable tragedy off while exploring the Yellow soul's theme of Justice and staying true to Undertale's established canon.

And all the way right up to the end of the True Pacifist ending I truly thought they'd nailed it: The constant pressure of the monsters suffering and being trapped in the Underground despite their sweet and earnest natures, Dalv's clear issues regarding a human, Starlow's unintentional reinforcement of the 'one sacrifice for the greater good' idea with his trolley problem reenactment, the repeated back to back betrayals from characters who should be friends (the Feisty Five, Starlow, Ceraba) hurting Clover instead, the dull realization in universe for Clover that all their efforts to find the missing human children were all for nothing...

It was fantastic. There was a real sense of looming dread for me, seeing all those moments and just knowing in my gut that after the desperate struggle with the agonized and grieving Ceraba, ranting about how monster kind is doomed as it stands, that Clover would start thinking of sacrificing their life for monster kind, especially when their 'sense of Justice' at the start of the game had them willingly jump into a gaping pit they couldn't have possibly have known the height of, for the sake of mission they (according to Flowey) easily abandon when offered a loving home instead. (aka implying not so great things about how much they value their own life)

So. With all that 'hyped for tragedy' in mind, there I am at the True Pacifist ending. I've just spared Ceraba, the friends are all arguing as to how to keep Clover (and possibly any future humans who fall) safe and Clover begins to go into something of a zone out, thinking about all the things they've heard and seen over the course of their adventure.

This is it! I think to myself as I watch it play out. This is where Clover, after everything they've been through, makes the tragic yet understandable mistake of running away from their friends and confronting Asgore just as Flowey kept encouraging them to! Not to fight and bring Asgore to justice but to try talking him down and when they fail that, offering up their life to help and 'save' their friends even as the narrative will (matching Undertale) will make it clear that this is a mistake and only hurts everyone involved, just like every suicide and child murder in Undertale hurts everyone involved until Frisk is able to end the cycle of pain by rejecting the Kill or be Killed premise and setting the monsters free! Wow, I can't believe it, they set it up so well, what a perfect way to tie into Undertale's greater narrative via tragic prequel, I love this eeeeee!

Except of course that's not what happens.

My first hint something is off is when the quotes Clover's 'remembering' in their little bubble start being way too positive for the set up (also there's nothing from the trolley problem section). The second is when the music shifts from quiet to holy and then outright happy.

And third is when Clover snaps out of it and point blank tells their friends they choose to die. Now, I'm getting a little confused and wary at this but alright, this is a pretty long sequence already but I guess we get to have one final hope moment before Clover somehow gets away from their friends to die (maybe Flowey if not Asgore?)-

-and then I am left absolutely flabbergasted as the friends who just spent the last huge chunk of the game trying to protect Clover/getting talked out of killing them because 'its not right' end up agreeing with Clover's decision after a pitiful amount of arguing against it (where the utterly stupid 'there's no other option' reasoning is used as the primary reasoning despite all the other options being very clearly stated just moments ago), before the woman who's entire massive trauma arc that is centered around her accidentally killing her own child out of blind faith for 'the greater good', proceeds to assist Clover with their suicide (who she clearly views as a surrogate child despite her best attempts not to) while the other characters meekly say goodbye, give hugs and leave all while bittersweet but mostly sweet 'great job honey, this sucks but we're proud of you' music plays (also Flowey says stuff but like, its Flowey so frankly he could say anything and it'd be fine. He's not the issue here).

...Wow.

What a screwed up way for that to end. Like, I clearly get the 'idea' that Clover is meant to be noble and good and such but like, really? A fan game of Undertale (where one of the main ending messages was 'Don't kill and don't be killed', where a child's suicidal attempts to free monster kind lead to every major tragedy in the game, and where suicide was repeatedly shown to only make things worse through Asgore and Alphys in numerous neutral endings) is the game that decides having its protagonist's pointless self sacrifice should be honored and treated as a good ending by the narrative?????

How did none of the otherwise clearly brilliant people working on this miss the very bad, no good implications of Clover's friends being talked into letting them kill themselves and having the narrative frame it as anything but the worst end?????

I have many, many questions. And concerns. And...

Look, I do get it. Undertale Yellow is still a fangame. There are going to be weird notes in the tone due to different writers and such, and I should just be happy that the game was finished it at all, and accept that this god awful scene is probably just the result of its creators really, really wanting their beloved characters to go out as kindly (and beautifully drawn/animated) as possible with all the hugs and feels of canon Undertale without taking into account how much the very different context might warp the tone and the characterizations of everyone in the entire scene.

But like. God damn. There is something very off putting about not letting brave kind Martlet refuse to take this as an answer and then finding she actually can't stop it happening (and no her saying that after like two sentences from 'Ceraba who's judgement about the human sucks' doesn't count). About Starlow not recognising he and his posse might've had something to do with why Clover is thinking this. About Ceraba not on some level going 'IF THIS IS YOUR CHOICE THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME USE YOU TO SAVE KANAKO?!' Edit: Also a totally waste of prequel opportunity not to let Asgore visibly make the worst choices we canonly know he made on screen. Yes, he gets to stab Clover in the Flawed!Pacist route but Clover's trying to shoot him in that one; the fact we don't get to see him stab a 'far too willing to die for their friends and not defending themselves' Clover as the friend trio can do nothing to stop it from happening feels like such a cop out I swear XD

I'm all for 'Clover dies willingly' at the end of the True Pacifist but they way they did it was just... Really ugh in a way I'm finding tricky to word and I'm honestly shocked I haven't seen more people point it out (though admittedly that might be because I haven't really looked around much). ...So yeah. I know its too late to change said ending but really kinda hoping at some point one of the Undertale Yellow team realizes this might be an issue and thinks to add a content warning in the game's opening or something because it could really use one of those. Also that for any future projects they do, they happen to do a little more research into how to avoid accidentally glorify suicide as opposed to having it as a tragedy because damn they did not manage that here whatsoever.

---

ANYWAY, with all that rant finally out of my head some other stuff about Undertale Yellow I be feeling strongly:

Flowey's boss battle and the lead up to it is incredible and without a doubt makes the neutral route the most amazing well crafted route in the game. 10/10 may have already mentioned this in the massive rant above but if so gonna repeat it anyway because it's just that damn good.

Genocide route being a deconstruction of the 'disproportionate revenge is justice' 90s Anti Hero is very cool theme wise but the lack of the lack of stuff like notes in shops saying 'please don't kill my family' and monsters with less screen time getting more fleshed out drags it down a little, as does Clover not actually choking on dust or getting attacked by the human souls or something at the very end. Really do love the Martlet battle flashback moments and Axel's horrifically timed confession scene though.

The general uselessness of the ACT menu in big 'endurance' fights as well as the lack of 'alternative sparing ACTS' makes fights a lot less fun than they could be and I found myself a lot less willing to use them in general as a result despite them being my favorite thing about Undertale. Did still adore what fun stuff was in them though so I think it's just a case of them being a tad too out of focus compared to the bullet hell gameplay (which I'm not that good at) for my tastes.

Pacifist route could've really used some more optional hangouts and/or letters from the main friends. As is, the peak 'hang out' part of the game for me was the nap room I spent maybe two minutes in, and Dalv especially could've benefitted a ton from a bit more presence (I got more interaction from Mo and the rabbit who's tongue was stuck to a pole and I'm not happy about that? If nothing else not getting to see the inside of Martlet's house or help Dalv build his new home feel like lost opportunities).

Personal pet peeve and nothing too serious but not a fan of Asgore not getting the kill on Clover outside of Flawed Pacifist. Makes sense on most routes (glares at T!Pacifist again) given the way the plot is set up and all but given Toby Fox has repeatedly stated Asgore killed all the humans who fell post Chara it just drives me nuts XD (As does the poor Blue Soul getting treated as a killer/evil but like, I can see where people are coming on that one and Undertale Yellow uses that to amp up Chujin's nightmare fuel vibes fantastically so I shall reluctantly congratulate that theory's use there and steel myself for the inevitable 'wait you're using Undertale Yellow lore but Axis didn't kill Integrity?' questions that will be posted on my 'will eventually be posted' Undertale fanfics XDDDD)

Love all the main cast, especially Martlet, and I am way too hyped for the day Undertale Yellow and its main cast get their own fandom tags on AO3.

...Kanako's death was incredibly stupid and avoidable but like, that's kind of what I like about it? I really also wanna know which Amalgamite she became (I'm thinking probably the one that tucks Frisk in to sleep and pats them on the head because of her and Ceraba's little 'going to sleep' game but like, I could see a very heart wrenching case for her being part of So Cold as well).

Anyone reading this who somehow hasn't played Undertale Yellow should really stop reading this and go play the game. It's free, its (one major thematic issue I have moral objections to aside) pretty decently written, and hey, more Undertale stuff to have fun making fanworks with <3

Goddamn has Undertale Yellow kicked my drive to write Undertale fanfic into overload XD Thank you Undertale Yellow team for helping me get all fired up again and sorry about all the grr but dang it, it needed to be said and now that it's out of my system I can throw myself into finding ways to incorporate your settings and characters into fanworks of my own (admittedly the AU elements might make things kinda tricky -Asgore having to kill EVERY human child even more so- but that nifty little detail of early Royal Guard Martlet having and being willing to abuse her access to the Hotland Lab allows me so many ways to have Chujin be a well meaning awful person and I am living for it!) <3 <3 <3

[australianklaviergavin]

Ace Attorney + Inspirobot

[bunnybird-afk]

Welcome to the Magister Merlin Fan Club, Hugin.

Current members: Hammie (Creator/President) , Chippy, Mirael, Casadee & Fay. (Hogan and Valen are there too, but they've got reputations to uphold, lol).

[emperorcandy]

you know Morgan le fay absolutely has the vibes of a mad scientist

[ljaylmaoo]

YOURE TELLING ME I MISSED A PEDER AAAANNDD A JOSHUA LIVE TODAY?!??!??? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKITY FLIPPING FRICK.

[neon-in-the-night-time]

kids who read the magic tree house as a kid when they grow up and consume other arthurian legend inspired media and morgan le fay is a villain character: 😮

[bigmilk-13]

the way Peder sings "Uliana" in Life Is Sweeter scratches my brain just right

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Just watched the music video animatic (Storyboard) for life is sweeter

Here is the link lol

If you don't want "spoilers" you can watch it now and read later idk.

First of all the thing that made me write this.

Is Zellie, Rapunzel or Rapunzel's daughter? And Chloe was definitely hitting on her! SHE LITERALLY HAD HEARTS IN HER EYES!

She stuttering "i-i- I think your hair is really great!"

AND RED REACTS WITH "smoooth"

CHLOE IS GAY. SHE'S A LESBIAN. LETS GOOOO LESBIANS LETS GOO!

(Of course this doesn't make her a lesbian, she could also be Bi or pan or whatever else but definitely sapphic. that's just my headcanon)

ok. Like I was shocked. Ofc Disney didn't stick with it tho

Second.

Tiana! Love her verse.

Why didn't they leave her in the movie.

She's an icon.

Third

Zellie again. Loved her verse too! But who is she?? Is she Rapunzel or is she Rapunzel's daughter? I mean it would make more sense if it were Rapunzel herself.

I NEED ANSWERS

Also her hair turning pink from the cupcake? Nice

Fourth.

Chloe again.

Not her crushing on a girl from the past 😭

That wouldn't work out. 😭

But like Red was also checking out Charming lol. (Chloe's face in that frame 😭😭 lol)

But she was just checking not really crushing.

Honestly I'm just rambling right now and trying not to repeat myself.

Idk if it makes sense.

But also Imagine if it is Rapunzel and then meeting her in the future. Awkward. But also I feel ya Chloe.

Fifth

The designs.

Most were cool. Some were creepy lol.

Like I found Chloe's hair cool! But I love her curls and locks more.

Also was the one person Ella? Why she look so depressed? Damn. Like the zoom in at her when Charming's part came.

Actually makes sense with her living conditions nevermind. Valid.

Also charming looks creepy.

Hades looks okay.

Morgie became He-Man.

Hook was fine. Reminds me of Harry. But the way they moved him was funny and His voice 😭 slay 💅🏼

And Maleficent was maleficent.

I LOVE THEM ALL. I'M NOT HATING ON THEM! it's just my thoughts! And it's also the storyboard. Which slay.

Also funny little mention.

I laughed at how Aladdin just flew in, took a cupcake, and flew away again. They probably would have talked in that scene? Idk but it was just funny. And the way he flexed 😭

Sixth

The left out/changed verses

Idk WHO said "Hey princess" but that was hot. and it was probably Bridget since it zoomed in on her. but idk the actual Person that said that

(Reminds me of Catra's "Hey Adora")

Also If Tiana is a Princess that means her and Prince Naveen are already together. Slay.

🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶

CALL ME TIANA! I GOT THAT something water? RUNNING SO DEEP IN MY VEINS! 🤸

I CAN JAZZ IT UP ✨

DON'T YOU PASS IT UP 🫣

WHEN IT COMES TO MY BEIGNETS 🤤

🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶

I would never pass on your beignets 🫡

I like it more than "CaLl Us jAlAdDin" even if it was kinda cute and funny.

Would have been fire in the movie.

(if this would be in the movie and the jaladdin part would be the other idee, I would not want to change it)

Next.

"Oh look 👀 there's Zelly 😒"

Why does it sound like that. Is it only me? Idk.

🎼🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶

I'm just like my hair 🤫

Don't fit in anywhere 😶‍🌫️

And I can't say I mind it 😙

NoOoO I don't 💁🏼

🎼🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶

Go off, girl! yeah! Speak your mind ✨🤸

Beautiful voice, I mean for the whole song really. Don't know who that is tho.

After that is the iconic gay panic from Chloe 😭😭😭

Why did they cut it 😒😭 not slay

We need Sapphic Chloe! 🫠

"Looking Good Zelly! The sun shines a little more- *enter the VKs music*"

Very funny. Would have loved that cut off.

Next.

🎵🎶🎵🎶

All I have to say is 😀

Stay out of Ursula's sister's way 😄

🎵🎶🎵🎶

Maleficent 🤠 what. was. that. 🤠

I mean I love that you have more lines and also it's very funny. But like. Personally, I like that they didn't keep that. But also, like I said. Funny.

I mean if it were

'stay out of Uliana's way'

Wouldn't be funny

Wouldn't have minded if they kept it like that either, now that I think about it. Anyway.

Next.

I do like that Uliana already snatched one cupcake. But the way it is right now is great too.

And that they got hit with the cupcakes. But then again. It would be annoying to clean.

"Wait, that's too many!" From Brigdet. I like that.

I liked them chasing Bridget more but

Uliana just running at her and Ella pulling her out of the way which makes only Uliana fall into the Fountain that was behind them was also funny.

The End

Thanks for listening to my rambles! ✨❤️

Byeee

Well reading.

If I forgot any changes (probably) or you also notice something fun or interesting I would love to hear it!

Imma watch the other storyboards later.

Here the links if you haven't seen them

Red

Love ain't it .

Don't spoil me for those two please 👀.

[pyjamacryptid]

I already gave my answer but I’m still thinking about that bbc merlin poll - the recent one that asked ‘would Merlin telling Morgana about his magic in season 1 have fixed anything?’

Because, really, I’ve been pondering over that question since I first watched the first season back in ye olde 2009. And I’ve never had a clear ‘yes’ or ‘no’ for an answer.

Would it have fixed anything? Maybe yes, for a time. I like to think so!

Would it have brought about a better timeline? Maybe? Maybe not? If Merlin told Morgana about his magic, it would be a huge, pivotal moment for sure! For good or for ill!

But there are other pivotal moments we can’t forget about, so many other forks in the road. Morgause’s involvement, for one. Uther. And we can’t forget Morgana’s own effect, the person she is, her character. That influences the scales enough on its own.

I legit feel like I’m pacing in front of a giant ass whiteboard muttering about the butterfly effect.

You might be like “Ren, it’s not that complicated, really?”

And there I am, hair wild from pulling at it in stress, like:

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

Depression

[faislittlewhiteraven]

Fais fanfic rambles: Introduction to my 'Selkies by Starlight' ISaT AU

Note: Not to be confused with @looped-140-and-counting / Soren_793's wonderful Selkie AU oneshot series 'The Northern Islanders are Selkies' which was hugely inspiring for this if potentially VERY different in vibe (we got very into talking about cloaks! XD)

Basic premise/summary:

In an alternate version of the precanon adventure, the party lead by Mirabelle to stop the King freezing Vaugarde in time, recruit Siffrin as per usual.

Thing is, Siffrin is a Selkie.

A very skittish selkie without a cloak of their own, who openly wears the cloak of another, and due to Reasons is under the impression that the party know all both of those things and the Implications about them, and for whatever reason have decided to welcome him into their group anyway.

Which er, he's completely wrong about as the party know absolutely nothing.

Mira and Isa like most Vaugardian humans think 'shifters' are just fairytales, Odile knows shapeshifters are real but is only really familiar with how foxes like her father work, and Bonnie is actually able to sense some pretty major things but is a preteen dealing with a lot and hasn't even joined the party yet, so this pretty major misunderstanding is sustained for quite a while...

Cue the AUs' main focus being on the resulting party dynamic shifts as more and more canon divergence due to Sif's 'selkie stuff' (both cute and serious) comes into play, the party slowly realising something is up, and all of it hitting an eruption point right around the time of the 4th Orb/the loss of Siffrin's eye...

Some key world building notes: (Note: very summarised from my docs. I have like 20k+ words on this stuff XD)

The Island - Probably the most drastically different thing from canon here, the Island was not forgotten or erased here. Rather it is hidden away and permanently shrouded in Wish Craft generated fog from 'those without cloaks'. Side note: Sif is still unable to return home and continues to have some very plot critical memory problems but those are due to unrelated issues, which means yay I get to have Sif talk 'home culture' with the others in this =D Also idk why the King is freezing Vaugarde still. I've got a few ideas I'm not sure about and he's not in focus enough for it to even matter really, but random suggestions -especially those with possible selkie motivations- would be very much appreciated.

Selkie powers in my setting - Went into something of a deep dive regarding selkie folklore for this and did you know they have an absolute ton of seer/oracle based stuff going on?

From selkie being summoned by their human lovers shedding seven tears into the ocean, to a selkie man telling a former lover that he and their child will die at the hands by her genuinely good and loving future husband, to a selkie woman forseeing her fisherman husband about to die out in a storm just in time for her to swim over there and rescue him, etc.

So... Yeah. This AU has a lot of plot relevant sensory/seer stuff going on as well as the standard seal shapeshifter stuff (Islander selkie traditionally believe it to be the Universe talking with them, in the same way Wish Craft is talking to the Universe), and going off all the stuff I read decided it'd be most fitting if the general rule for how it all works is: - Selkie always passively have a bit of it going on (aka Sif's canon 'you sense someone nearby' stuff) which like most things can be enhanced with Craft use a bit. - Near perfect understanding of all 'connected' bodies of water (aka they know EXACTLY where the tasty fish are/will be and can probably get a general sense of location for most people on a boat) - Potentially get strong 'visions of the future' and/or instincts on what they need to do to avert an outcome when it comes to loved ones being in danger/distress.

They also maybe get to pull very fast, high power Wish Craft 'curses'/miracles' at idk, the cost of something major like their cloak or lives (mostly based off of the The Legend of Kópakonan where the whole island of Kalsoy was cursed with death by a selkie in retaliation for her husband and children being murdered) but not super attached to this idea past it being in 'seal shifter' stories in-setting.

Other non humans in setting and regional differences in shifters - Pretty much only selkie and selkie issues are in focus here, but just as a general thing, all non humans in setting are shapeshifters and originated from human ancestors who went crazy with the the Body Craft and/or used Wish Craft in some way.

Ka Bue in particular has a ton of them since yokai, with their origins being various sects/clans back in the warring eras going so nuts with trying to weaponize Body Craft (super soldiers, enhanced life spans, infiltration, exploiting attraction to furries, etc), that after some particularly high profile incidents (for an idea plz see: Kiyohime, Tamamo no Mae, Kachi-kachi Yama) and 'Body Craft misuse leading to shut down of the brain/vital organs' being the most common cause of death for 10+ years once peace time was established, eventually Ka Bue's authorities set their foot down and banned Body Craft altogether.

Currently the shifter population in Ka Bue is around 30% of the population, shifters are required to have ID regarding their forms (or potential forms if they're merely 'half'), and it's considered distasteful for a shifter to be in non human form outside of private settings/necessity and even ruder to ask a shifter about their non human forms if they haven't brought the topic up yet first (kinda like seeing/asking about someone's underwear or something XD).

In contrast the Vaugarde, Mwudu and Porteria region is extremely shifter sparce, with most of its original shifter population being the result of various Universe worshipping peoples (mostly small groups, like greek mystery cults) deciding to use a big Wish Craft ritual as some sort of religious rite and becoming shifters as a side effect of their primary Wish (usually stuff like 'we wish for us and our descendants to be one with You and the sea/air' or 'may we Change with the phases of the holy moon' etc) which granted them some pretty neat skills but also tended to come with some 'potentially nasty' drawbacks attached (see: selkie and swan maidens with their cloaks, werewolves Changing in both body and mind etc) Which er, lead to some issues born of lack of knowledge about this stuff, later some very nasty anti shifter sentiment in the region, and then around... IDK 200 to 300 years ago or so ended up exploding into violence and other very nasty things, with most shifters able to do so fleeing the region, and those that couldn't either enduring horrible conditions until they could escape/died or went deep into hiding, with the Island's Country being founded by the two later groups who used Wish Craft to hide their new home, erase awareness of their existence from their enemies (a short term, fully intentionally 'forgetting' blast centered specifically around shifters), and developed a LOT of culture and traditions regarding when, who and what can be told to 'outsiders' about themselves, Wish Craft, etc in order to keep their people safe.

There are shifters living in present in Vaugarde of course (anti shifter sentiment died back a LOT after most people stopped thinking they were real, and most modern day Change Believers are more likely to view these 'totally fictional/allegorical' beings as children/messengers of the Change God rather than 'evil demons who stole power by tearing apart the Change God's cloak for themselves and thus have to be hunted down and made to repent' propaganda take that was everywhere back then) but numbers actually living outside the Island as opposed to merely visiting remain low, since either the shifters know their history and stick firmly to their 'stay secret' traditions or quickly pick up on how oddly unknown shifters are around these parts and decide to err on the side of caution... Also 'trust worthy' humans who do learn about them (usually northern coastal folk, gee wonder why) tend to help cover them up so... Yeah =D

---

And... Yeah!

This is hella long as is, so will stop here and ramble about the actual 'how this all affects our beloved Sif and Co plot and culture wise' stuff that is the actual meat of the AU in another post later, but hope this made for an interesting/idea provoking read, know that I have no issue with anyone using any of this for their own works (just please, don't use the 'Selkies under starlight' same story name unless it's actually a fanfic/fanart of my 'hopefully soon has a chapter/one shot up' fic/Ao3 series of the same name so people don't get confused), and I would love to chatter with you about any thoughts/questions you might have so...

Wishing you a good day =D

(sighes in relief finally getting this post finished after literal months. Pheeeeww~)

[thekingofthenameless]

I’M BACK

And I’m rebranding everything.

Profile picture change, username change (in a few days), etc.

talesofarcadiaforever -> thekingofthenameless

I took a long hiatus from writing and Tumblr in general because of bad burnout and putting expectations on myself that I shouldn’t have. Ha. But I’m back! And good news! I started writing again! Better news?

I decided to officially discontinue Emerald Embers and the Daylight’s Redemption series and write my own book.

I was already making everything so different from ToA that it was practically an alternate universe already: redesigning Merlin, making Merlin and Charlie familiars, adding magical species that weren’t explicitly in canon, completely changing other characters… I still love ToA, but I’m not hyperfixated on it anymore. And that’s okay. I was so scared of letting go for a long time, but I’m happy with my decision.

My wip is now called The King of the Nameless!

Currently, there are five main characters, and tidbits about each of them will be a little further down. (Except for one guy. He sucks.) Their attempted designs will also be down there.

In some aspects, it probably hasn’t changed too much. I’m still basing it off of Arthurian Legends, and Merlin is still the protagonist. But I redesigned him. Again.

The deuteragonist is Charlie; he and Merlin are still familiars. I tried several different names for him, but none of them would stick for him no matter how hard I tried; so Charlie the dragon he stays. But he now has the last name Ambrosius to reflect that he and Merlin are found family as well.

The other three characters in this stage of the story are Igraine, Gorlois, and Uther.

Igraine is Arthur and Morgana’s mother in the Arthurian Legends, (which I did not know at first and was wondering how Arthur and Morgana were half-siblings because they have different fathers…) and will stay the same here. I couldn’t find any official last name for her besides Pendragon from when she marries Uther? (Which is not going to happen here.) So I gave her and her husband the last name “le Fay” to match their daughter!

Gorlois is Igraine’s husband, and like I said, is Morgana’s father. However, unlike some media, he’s not going to be portrayed as a jealous and abusive husband. He’s the epitome of the “I love my wife” guy.

Uther is… a piece of work, to say the least. He’s the character who’s going to have a separate post because of triggering topics that I don’t want in this post.

I’m also going to make a separate post for upcoming characters, which include Nimue, Morgana, Arthur, etc.

Bear with me on lore and designs though please (I’m still working on the lore and I’m not sure if these will be their permanent designs except for Charlie). Some of it might be just random babble until I decide on something 😭 You’ll definitely be able to tell which characters I think about most ahaha.

Anyways, in more good news, I don’t use Artbreeder anymore. I attempt to use Picrews, but sometimes they don’t have everything I want, so I also use character creators from video games. If I could use Baldur’s Gate 3’s, I definitely would, but I’d have to spend like $600-ish to get something to play it on and get the game. 😑 I could also play it with my boyfriend, but our schedules are so busy with both of us working that’s it not really a convenient option.

But there is a game called Dragon’s Dogma, and I’ve been using that one! It’s an older game, so it doesn’t really have many fantasy character options, but it’s good enough for human characters lol. I made Igraine and Gorlois with it, and a few other characters yet to be posted.

Design and lore time!

Merlin:

This is him at the beginning of TKN! Expect more art of him eventually.

• 6' 8"

• “my son crump he has every disease”: schizophrenia, C-PTSD, misophonia

• is still a cambion like in the Arthurian Legends (specifically half-human, half-demon)

• was supposed to be the Anti-Christ (also like in the Legends)

• is also a romance and sex repulsed, non-partnering aroace <3.

• usually excudes a regal, dignified presence, and his preference for flowing outfits helps

• may seem slightly formal with strangers, but on a good day where he can clock their personality, he’ll either warm up to them quickly, or distance himself, depending on the person

• has a strong sense of justice, which also makes him anti-authoritarian for the most part. (unless they’ve actually proven that they’re not just in their position for the power of it, or because of nepotism; and really do want to help people.)

• extremely loyal

• highly empathetic; cries easily

• has a lot of trauma, but is still kind because he’s not going to make people suffer just because he did

• adrenaline junkie in regards to flying with Charlie

• Doesn’t kill if not necessary.

• Is very punctual. If you tell him to come at 5 he’ll be there at 4:30. At most.

Charlie:

• 6' 6" (top of muzzle)

• 7' 3" (top of head)

• the marking on his leg is his familiar mark!

• still nice, seems a little rougher around the edges than Merlin

• says the things that his wizard thinks but won’t say, and doesn’t hide that he stares people down while gauging their character. he sometimes won’t care that he sounds mean or very direct either

• very protective of his familiar and is intensely loyal to him. isn’t really willing to leave the latter alone with people they don’t really know because of people attempting to take advantage of his schizophrenia in the past, gaslighting him into thinking that their actions weren’t real and were things he hallucinated/imagined

• Do no harm but take no shit

• Far more willing to kill than Merlin

• “Hey do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you.”

• (I guess he technically counts as an emotional support animal but like. he’s sentient so idk 😭)

• is an omnivore (most dragons are, but he eats more human food than them from growing up and staying around them.)

Igriane:

• 6' 5"

• a wizard!

• was originally a red head before I realized that oh yeah. Morgana has brown hair, and a ginger and blonde would definitely not for the most part have a brunette kid

• purple eyes (haven’t decided if I’m gonna stay with this concept, but I like the idea of all wizards having some type of heterochromia, or technicolor eyes to show that they have magic)

Gorlois:

• 6' 0"

• he doesn’t have any type of unique eye color yet because I didn’t have the concept of that for wizards yet, and still not sure if I’m gonna keep it so. blue eyes for now

• again I say he’s the “I love my wife” guy!!

• also a wizard (which is where Morgana gets her magic when she’s born. You have two parents with magic you’re like. guaranteed to have magic.)

• maybe not really much of a fighter? Would probably use some type of sword if he was.

Wow that was so much lore. 👍 If anyone wants to talk to me about my ocs or suggest ideas, my ask box is always open! (And I love love love getting asks)

Artist credits!

Merlin:

Charlie’s original artist:

Charlie’s second artist:

Charlie’s saddle:

[choosingwhatmatters]

Goodbye, Dream

I’ve finally been able to watch the last Dream episode. This show will stay with me for a long time to come, and not only because I’m currently butchering the first credits song every time I sit down at the piano.

I enjoyed the journey of Wan and Kim. While it is true that we basically watched them not talking to each other for ten episodes, I was fascinated by how that changes them as people. How Wan clings to Kim for dear life only to find that in this state they can’t be anything to each other. How Wan undergoes therapy (I will never not celebrate this) and concludes that, while she still cannot be honest about her feelings, she will now support Kim in all of her decisions. How Wan only springs into action when she realises that Kim shares all her experiences in Dream Land. How Wan is the most adorable goofball in a relationship.

How Kim goes from holding herself back for Wan’s sake to pursuing her own dream, only to again submit to someone else’s wishes when her mother wants her to marry Marwin. How Kim, once she has committed to Wan, continues to do just that.

While I breathe for fluff and intimacy, I am glad that there is now one more show that gave its characters time to grow. I agree that the show could have been structured differently in order to be more concise and, thus, more engaging. I am, however, very glad that it exists to inspire shows to come. It’s always easy to criticise a piece of art, but CREATING art, that’s hard work and I am thankful for anyone who is undertaking it.

[completeoveranalysis]

[7]

OH MY POOR LAVA LAMP

HE IS TRYING SO HARD

The fascinating and heartbreaking inversion here is that originally we had a Syaoran who was trying SO hard to be like Lava Lamp - his soul was desperately trying to build itself up and be a complete being, using Lava Lamp's soul to be as similar to it as possible, but he couldn’t quite get there. 

And now we have Lava Lamp who is trying SO HARD to be like Syaoran. Specifically, Syaoran’s auto-pilot programming. He’s promised Watanuki that he’ll do ANYTHING it takes to complete this task, he’ll take ANY suffering onto himself to get it done. He wants SO MUCH to be able to prioritise and get it DONE no matter the cost - like Auto-Pilot could, technically.

And with that in mind how INTERESTING that Lava Lamp and Syaoran make up their own Yin Yang contrast even now. Syaoran is mostly programming but needed a little bit of Lava Lamp to be a functioning person. Lava Lamp is already a functioning person but needs a little bit of Syaoran’s ruthless commitment to survive the horrors of his reality. 

And so here we have Lava Lamp hardening himself to the loss of this child and making himself walk away, but as the child continues to speak we see how this is DEVASTATING him. 

(Which might be even WORSE if he has any memories of this child of his own. Does he remember seeing him running around in the background of Syaoran's life? Did they ever interact? Has he SEEN this child grow up in reality, and now has to watch him slowly die instead?)

YES!!

Fai sees this all happening and finally bridges the gap he left open in Nihon. Before when he saw Lava Lamp’s pain he considered putting a hand on his shoulder but didn’t, couldn’t QUITE connect with him. But now he sees Lava Lamp being absolutely torn to shreds over this dying child and just gently touches his arm and talks to him - and the INSTANT change in Lava Lamp’s face. It's not an expression we've ever seen on him - like he's completely unguarded and can't summon a mask even if he wanted to. As if he can’t quite believe this is being offered to him. As if he’s not used to it. As if this has never been offered to him before. 

BECAUSE IT HASNT. 

It's possible he was so convinced that the distance between him and Fai would always be there because of Syaoran, but here Fai is willingly crossing that distance to comfort him and you can SEE that Lava Lamp never really thought that was going to happen. I mean, who ELSE in his life has ever been here like this for him? Ever since he went in that lava lamp the answer has been : no-one.

FAMILY TRAUMA BONDING!

Kurogane joins in the comfort by reinforcing what Lava Lamp said and sharing the blame he was trying to take all onto himself. Kurogane, Mokona, and Fai ALL opt in to let Lava Lamp know that he’s NOT doing this alone and they’re ALL equally in this together, even if the result is negative and they caused something awful. It is SO sweet to see them reaching out to him in this moment, finally building this connection between them when he desperately needs it, even as they all walk through the dissipating water of all the lives being destroyed around them. You can see by the expressions on Fai and Kurogane in this panel that they’re hardly THRILLED about the tragedy around them, but the important thing is they’re all choosing to walk in unison as it happens. 

OHH AND LOOK AT HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO HIM

THE PAIN HAS EASED AS HE CLOSES HIS EYES GENTLY AND IS VISIBLY TOUCHED BY THE SOLIDARITY

FINALLY SOME LAVA LAMP BONDING I’M SO THRILLED

Am I even going to read Evil Wolverine’s text 

No I don’t think so

[reineyday]

rereading tsubasa reservoir chronicles and i LOVE that it only took two volumes to get both fai and kurogane to want to dad syaoran enough to have their soul animals (kudan) protect him from the rain :')))

[ehlnofay]

Summerfest day 3 - GHOST

On the hoary street outside Aventus’ house, the children are throwing snowballs.

It’s snowed thick the last few days, only coming to a stop late this afternoon, so that the cobble of the road is entirely hidden; the younger ones, all a little older than it feels like they should be, are shin-deep in it, wading with some difficulty, clothes freezing wet and shoes probably soaked through. It’s the proper kind of snow, clean and crisp and cold to the bone. It lies smooth and flat where it hasn’t been walked through and most of the streets visible from the upstairs windows still haven’t been shovelled clear. There’s meant to be a market today, but after this weather – roads barely traversable unless people start rustling up sledges - it’s doubtful it’ll go through. It happens. This time of year you need to keep your storeroom well stocked, else you’re shit out of luck.

(Once, there were no storerooms; Torr couldn’t tuck themself away until the blustering died down. He’d wear seven worn-thin layers and stick his fingers in his mouth when they started hurting and if it got really bad he’d find somewhere with Griss and Kyrri and Katla and whoever else he could grab and he’d beat down the door of whoever was least sick of his face at the time. The Cornerclub, if he thought it was worth appealing to Ambarys’ better sensibilities; the temples dotted around the city, though some of them were never very helpful at the best of times. They waited a blizzard out on Eirmund’s kitchen floor, once. Broke into a few cellars, a few abandoned buildings, a shop. It’s lucky they weren’t arrested twice as often as they were. They think they got by mostly on luck, some days.)

It's pretty, if nothing else; there’s nobody else out on the streets yet so it’s just the gaggle of kids in their tatty coats and cloaks and the ends of their tunics wet, breath misting in the air so visible it’s practically crystallised, shrieking and ducking and hurling damp handfuls of snow at each other, loose-packed and crumbling. It hits the walls, sometimes, and sticks dripping between the stones; seeps through their gloves, through their hose, and Torr doesn’t remind them to worry about frostbite because they know and he knows they know, but he thinks about it. Their own hands are still scarred, fingertips ever-flushed, knuckles tough and pitted. It’s hard to remember that things have changed, in some ways. Harder to remember they were ever different, in others.

They’re posted up watching against the chilled stone wall, hood pulled over their head to shield them some from the cold, hands tucked up into the sleeves of their thick wool tunic. (It’s nice. Bluish-purple – Babette picked it out, they think.) The kids are all yelling their heads off, which they suppose the neighbours must have gotten used to. Ambarys is stumbling like a newborn deer through the snow; Griss is darting this way and that, her red skirt fluttering like a flag behind her; Skygna has Gellir on her shoulders, a lump of snow held high in one hand and the other holding onto her head, directing her to charge around lopsidedly. A trio of the newer kids – they’ve been appearing more often, Katla said, since the fighting started, and Torr’s still not entirely clear on which is which – are trying to pile up a crumbling snow wall. Skrauti keeps careful to the porch, mindful of his foot and realistic about the strength of his boots and the real utility of his crutches in that sort of terrain, but he ducks around corners and keeps neatly compacted snowballs piled up in his arms. He darts around the corner, throws one that dramatically misses anyone that it might have been aimed at, and lurches out of view again before anyone can try to get him back. Gellir is bellowing, his little face bright as the sun. Skygna is laughing. She always used to be so serious.

So much has changed. So much has stayed the same. Same clothes, some of them. Same people, mostly. Torr watches, leaning against the cold stone wall, and tries to find familiarity in it. Fails.

(It should be familiar. They used to play like this all the time – Windhelm’s certainly got the weather for it, coated in snow for the better part of the year and not all that much else to do about it; the kids would sneak up on him, or on each other, try to dump a damp handful down the backs of their tunics or grind it into their hair. Katla always tried to get it straight in the eyes. Torr remembers back when Skrauti was new, how he managed to smash a hard-packed snowball through one of the rare glass windows in the Grey Quarter, how he damn near cried with guilt afterwards until Torr promised they’d scrounge up the money to pay for it to be fixed. Torr remembers how Chukka down the docks tried to figure out how to lob snow at them with her tail even though it didn’t have half the dexterity for it. Torr remembers Katla shovelling snow down her throat in response to some stupid dare and then shoving Talres’ face in it when he laughed. Torr remembers, Torr remembers, Torr remembers; but it’s like that’s all he knows how to do. Like he’s slotting it away in the shelves of nostalgia as it’s happening. Like he’s not really here.)

(He isn’t. Not really. Not like he’s supposed to be. Once, they would have been the one to start it, putting snow down Katla’s dress, on Talres’ arm, in Griss’ hair; it kept them all laughing, kept them active, kept them distracted. They were the best at those games, unbeatable, though since half their opponents were half their age having the best arm and the quickest dodge probably wasn’t much to brag about. They remember it all but they’re still leaning statue-still against the wall; trying to move feels like an imitation, unreal. None of it feels real. Every time Torr comes back here they feel like they’re dressing up in their own skin, carving the blood off their palms, trying so hard not to seem like they’re pretending. He loves the kids – he does, he does, he does; he would do anything in the fucking world for them. There’s not much left that he hasn’t already done. But there’s little comfort to be found here, these days, feeling slow and stagnant and ill-fitting. They want him here, though, all the same. So he visits. And he tries not to feel like he’s lying.)

Torr is lost, as he usually is here, in thought (he can’t get away from it – he steps through Windhelm’s ancient gates and falls backwards through time, falls backwards into his own head), so he’s not expecting impact, sudden and sharp, against his right shoulder. Just under the clavicle. Their clothes are thicker-softer-better here than they ever used to be, but even so they can feel the freezing shock against the scar tissue knotted over their joint – they’re reacting before they even begin to think about it –

Their head catches up to their body before they actually put a hand on their knife, but not before they’ve flinched for it, shoulders curled in, sinking their weight low, one foot shifting agitatedly against the powder-pit of the snow; then Torr blinks, remembers himself, remembers when he is and where he is and that there is a world past the sudden snap of vigilance singing through the thundering of his blood. Blinks again. Looks, over the muddy-trodden surface of the sparkling snow, to Griss; who stands with one arm still raised and one side of a smile pinned on. It seems to be caught in place halfway through slipping away. There is snow on Torr’s jacket sleeve.

(Once, keeping her smile in place was the entire pared-down goal of his life; Torr spares a moment to hate himself, acutely and utterly. Then he moves on.)

Torr knows the steps for this game; knows what to do; knows what they would have done, though not why it used to be so easy, or why it’s so hard now. Griss looks grimacingly like she’s about to apologise for startling them, which is so horrendously not how they talk to one another that the idea stings. Torr crouches – all their muscles still coiled, chest held tight, very unhelpful – to dig a handful of snow from the ground at their feet and fling it in her vague direction. She yelps and dodges with ease, but it fixes the look on her face; she sticks her tongue out at him and ducks down to build up another arsenal, and Torr shakes his head ache-inducingly hard and tries as best he can to wrangle his attention to here and now. The snow is painfully cold against his ungloved hand, but it kind of helps. Makes him feel like he’s here.

When Griss hurls another projectile at him, he has at least the presence of mind to sidestep; she cackles delightedly, and he smiles, thin and dirty-cold as the dusting of snow on his shoulder.