#FUN. Cooler Cruise TT

[kareemldavy]

Art Melissa Silva × @webethefun

[cerullos]

disneyland 🔥

i’ve never been, this is what we were talking about! i’ve watched a truly ridiculous number of youtube videos about land vs. world discourse, ride povs, IP discourse etc. i’ve literally been on theme park discourse forums where heated arguments about the enchanted tiki room go down on the daily so i can assure you i’ve seen every hot take known to man on this topic, i just…have never actually been so i don’t think it’s fair for me to say! 

i’m very protective of wdw because it’s the resort i grew up with and it’s where i’ve worked, and i’m attached to aspects of wdw disneyland doesn’t really have any mirrors for, like……no country bears. no epcot. no pandora. they murdered their peoplemover which is sick enough all on its own! if i were to work there, i do think there would be a huge adjustment period. like…there isn’t even a utilidor there, which is literally just no fun at all. 

anyway i love to know nothing and form opinions anyway, so i lied, i will do this! and you’re going to regret having asked once i’m done. 

good things, probably:  

better fantasmic (tentatively – it used to be peter pan which easily tops wdw fantasmic’s uncomfortably racist pocahontas, but it’s apparently switched to pirates now so i’m withholding judgment) 

paint the night…wdw won’t get a nighttime parade until the 50th which is awful, and even before it had nothing it had MSEP which is old enough to be my mother. i would literally give anything to see paint the night, it’s 99% of the reason i want to go.

remember dreams come true (which isn’t even running right now, but once pixar fest finally bites the dust it should be again) is a wishes ripoff with parks music and tributes in place of movies which is incredibly woke and i think happily ever after is mediocre so…the nighttime shows in general seem incredible and wdw is lacking in that department right now…rivers of light tanks, galactic spectacular is hideous, happily is overrated and soulless etc. 

cars land is dlr’s pandora, like no one wanted it but i’m positive it’s excellent and i hate test track so i can’t wait to ride radiator springs racers and confirm that TT has lost all relevance forever

classic rides like mr. toad’s and snow white’s scary adventure are intact which is very deeply cool. their pirates is obviously better and they have blue bayou which is even cooler

they get a broadway-caliber show (i think it’s frozen right now, which is extra points) and we were supposed to be getting that on wdw main street but they lowkey canceled those plans even though they were announced with concept art at d23…thanks

i just get the sense that since land is precious with dlr, they keep their attractions in better condition and really try to utilize what space they do have to the best of their ability. like you never hear california passholders complaining that dlr has let its parks rot the way wdw has condemned, like, future world in epcot. wdw has virtually endless property and they waste and abuse it liberally….like you have no idea. backstage is a nightmare 

no hall of presidents so thats lit

also holiday overlays! because they get more locals whereas wdw is the world’s biggest tourist trap so we have to guarantee guests can experience the “classic” ride untouched at all times of the year…so the only ride overlays i’ve ever experienced are, like, jingle cruise…….

i know this is hard to really parse but when people say you can Feel The History at disneyland and it’s just more quaint and personal and charming and there are more vintage touches preserved out of respect for the park’s roots i really FEEL that and it excites me! 

bad things, probably: 

tiny baby…no epcot. no dak, no boardwalk, no poly/grand flo/(contemporary can eat my ass so i don’t really care). no value resorts so this wouldn’t be relevant to me as a potential local or CM but like…that sucks as a guest lmao. just less effectively insulated from the outside world in general which i’m aware is a plus for some people, ymmv. i just think this would be my biggest concern as a CM, like would it all get “older” quicker because of the comparitive lack of things to do? but then again, for locals to keep coming back day after day, they must be very good at keeping things fresh, so this is what i’d like to see for myself!

no country bears, no figment, they literally destroyed their people mover and its mangled corpse is just sitting on top of tomorrowland. no flight of passage, no everest? what am i supposed to do, ride the matterhorn like some kind of freak…also they’re building their galaxy’s edge in disneyland which is SO broke, i’m sorry i know y’all have no room but that’s so thematically incoherent. or…It’s Bad Show™ if we’re disney talking. 

again, i haven’t been but i get the feeling california adventure is a fairly weak park thematically in the same sense that hollywood studio is a weak park at this point in its history, which makes sense since CA is frankensteined together from bits of studios. if we’re doing this i also think pixar pier is a lame concept and i’m personally disappointed i’ll never get to see that area of the park as it was before. and this is more damning for dlr because if you dont like studios right now you have plenty more to do. cali adventure is dlr’s….only other park. and no, the influx of marvel is not getting me more excited for it if anything…less

haunted mansion in new england is cooler than southern plantation style haunted mansion, so wdw’s is better by default although it’s cool that their stretch room is actually an elevator even if it is for space reasons

the animatronics on their splash mountain (which are repurposed) are ugly uncanny valley bullshit and give me nightmares

no illuminations oh my goddddddddd……..pitiful. we go on…tapestry of nations…how does california sleep at night (like a baby because apparently fireworks are restricted to fridays and weekends)

again, no utilidor…i just have to assume their backstage is bizarre, it probably looks like backstage dhs with 8000 trailers which, again, is broke

no river country to snoop on….no discovery island…where’s The Lore? pretty shameful if you ask me and no the time that girl died in america sings doesnt count as Lore its just sad

this is all pointless anyway because i know without needing to go that tokyo disneysea is the best park and it could eat wdw and disneyland alive any day 

[kidspretendtoys11]

How to Buy the Best Kids Ride on Cars

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Where to buy?

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