#FUCKA YOU i did it bitch!!!

[dragonbornoflegend]

1. What is your nickname? 

my dad used to call me Sunshine. in hs/college i got called multiple variations of Stromboli lol. nowdays the bf just calls me any sort of endearing term that he thinks i wont enjoy 

2. When is your birthday?

october 22 

3. What was your longest relationship?

the current one, we're at 4.3yrs and ongoing 

4. What is your favorite book?

i haven't read them since the first time i did maybe a decade ago, so they may not hold up to time, but it used to be the Kingmaker, Kingbreaker series by Karen Miller 

5. What is something you're insecure about?

my everything abt me. lol

6. 5 Male celebrity crushes

Matthew Lillard, Jacob Wysocki, the entirety of the band Alesana, Steve Buscemi, Jon Moxley/Dean Ambrose 

7. 5 Female celebrity crushes

Rhea Ripley, Courtney LaPlante, Laura Jane Grace, Christina Tosi, Anjali Bhimani

8. What is your dream job?

farming dairy goats

9. What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

i don't feel like ive done a lot. staying alive ig! 

10. What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

hard to say. you should believe everything you hear about me unless it's something that's bad in an unsexy way 

11. What were your highs and lows for this last month?

highs include seeing some good bands live and getting to see some family that live out of town. lows include being severely depressed ig? idk if it's appropriate to just casually share lol. 

12. Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

literally anywhere. i love to travel. i especially yearn for the sonoran desert after visiting it a few years ago 

13. How do you de-stress?

copious amounts of weed 

14. What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

youtube and occasional spurts of pokemon go

15. Describe yourself in one sentence.

way worse in person 

16. What do you think makes you attractive?

according to prior statements from others, boobs. 

17. What is something you're really good at?

baking (allegedly) 

18. What is something you're really bad at?

singing. dancing. math. most things i try

19. A time that you told a lie. 

i tell lies literally all the time. i do not remember a single one off the top of my head for some reason 

20. What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

the existence of the turnspit dog. they're extinct now but they're an incredibly old breed (that term being used very loosely here) of dog w short legs and long bodies that would run in giant hamster wheels that were attached to spits in pubs. to rotate the meats. there's some fascinating stuff abt them online imo 

21.Who knows you the best?

at risk of being a downer, the ppl in my life who have most deeply known and understood me have all died. next best is the bf ig 

22. What is your most prized possession?

i try not to value possessions too much. my most expensive possession is probably my van

23. What is your longest friendship?

my bestie w whom ive been rocking since middle school 💖

24. When did you first feel like an adult?

i still don't 

25. Do you/ Have you played any sports?

as a very young child i played soccer at my grandma's church. idk if that counts. 

26. How are you feeling right now?

tired. my joints hurt. 

27. Are you an early bird or a night owl?

left to my own devices i end up on a nocturnal schedule naturally. my current work schedule has forced me to become an early bird however. 

28. Do you believe in love at first sight?

not really 

29. Favorite song lyrics right now?

"would you remember Joan of Arc was her flesh yet unlit by flame?" 

30.What does self care look like for you?

scary hot shower + bunch of weed + decadent snacks + some enjoyable thing to watch 

31. Describe yourself with 3 singers.

im not sure i understand this question 

32. What makes you nervous?

literally everything. i am constantly and always thinking abt how literally any thing could be going disastrously wrong

33. What’s a pet peeve you have? 

ppl standing still in walkways, esp if it's crowded and they're actively blocking more ppl from being able to flow through

34. What will always make you cry?

the song Fade In / Fade Out by Nothing More 

35.What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

socially stunted/awkward in a way that's just a tad unlikable 

Questions 1 - 35

that is SO cheating. you'll have to give me like a full workday to answer 35 questions

[idontknowwhyimhere102]

Fuckass classmates didn't clean up last Friday so now I had to sweep up the goddamn floor yet no one was there to see it

[mysterioushistorian]

KUPRUM: >OBEY.

FOLYKL: what

FOLYKL: dude    you look worse   than usual      and that pastel godtier outfit was         already gay enough     whatever that word   means

FOYLKL: the fuck did you     do to him

)(IC: isnt he beautiful

FOLYKL: i know u want to      be wrapped in     her tentacles and all     but cmon dude      shes right beside you      its your chance

)(IC: he wont listen to u gurl

)(IC: hes all mine now

)(IC: like how he always wanted to b rite?

)(IC: theres nofin u can do u disgustin voidrotten garbage motha fucka

FOLYKL: no wonder youre called      the batterwitch

FOLYKL: this coming from      me     a   witch myself

FOLYKL: also   im not even voidrotten anymore     see my      eyes      theyre back        im godtiered

)(IC: ya still gutterblood carp sides ur psionics weak as fuck

)(IC: ur useless as shit gurl u have no use for ma ass

)(IC: bitch u should be dead

)(IC: i aint cullin yo bulge buddy here cuz hes actually a powerful psionic

)(IC: always wanted to be a battery, whale hed make some fintastic use

)(IC: and hes under ma control now, right buoy?

KUPRUM: >ALL HAIL HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION.

KUPRUM: >ALL TRAITORS AND MISTAKES MUST BE ELIMINATED.

KUPRUM: >AND THAT INCLUDES YOU.

FOLYKL: holy shit   dude

FOLYKL: im gonna sound like a       fucking normie  right now     but kuprum dont you       recognize  me?  folykl?

)(IC: already told ya bitch )(E WONT LISTEN TO U

)(IC: a loyal soldier to da empire now, like how he was always destined to b

)(IC: and YOU

)(IC: soon dead, like how u were always destined to b

)(IC: what u already were supposed to b 

)(IC: now buoy

)(IC: get dat stinky ass DEAD

KUPRUM: >yes, your highness

KUPRUM: >folykl darane, i was wrong by helping you. as a loyal soldier to trizza and the condesce, i should have ELIMINATED you the first moment i set my bulbs on you.

KUPRUM: >BUT NOW YOURE DEAD LOL

FOLYKL: oh fuck

doc text, i had the idea for this interaction and i knew i had to write it

[acheronist]

so we need to keep in mind this is trying to represent a 5'4" nineteen-going-on-twenty year old who has a managerial adjacent job

pros

he does look appropriately like a teenager with an annoying attitude which is hilarious

as far as i know we have no sources about what his personality was actually like but speculating that he might have been a bitch delights me. pov your office supervisor is a kid who is a full decade younger than you and also this is his first real job and also also you literally do have to do as he says. lol.

the actively smoking to remind the viewer we learned via autopsy that he had the lungs of an 80 year old chainsmoker is so funny. he literally is from manchester during the industrial revolution and his job is Shovel Coal All Day so this is a nice touch.

extremely cute way of including his scarf with the dots 🤍🩵 i like it when he gets to wear the scarf as a scarf and not as a way of keeping his corpse's jaw shut

i think that even for how small this rendering is, this is a nice iteration of his facial features!!! long slender face, slight bump in the nose, prominent cheekbones, high and round eyebrows etc... yup its all there. checks out!

cons

THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY THAT DRAWING IS SUPPOSED TO BE SHOWING US A MAN WHO IS 5'4"

his corpse was 85lbs upon exhumation. of course we need to account for mummification /dehydration weight loss but also he was extremely sick right before dying. his stomach was empty so we can assume he wasn't eating/keeping food down, so he likely lost a ton of weight very quickly and then coughed himself to death. but also his job was Manual Labor so (when healthy) he must have had some sort of lithe wirey build. so imo there's no way he ever weighed more than 115lbs~120lbs at his most healthy.

THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY THAT DRAWING IS SUPPOSED TO BE SHOWING US A MAN WHO WEIGHS 120LBS

why's he got yaoi hands. this is also not correct my boy had very slender hands. fucka you.

where did the toque come from

where did the belt come from

the blouse fabric rendering is weirding me out

i'm still honestly not sure what is the truth about his haircut is but i don't think jorrington had a mullet and bangs that he gave himself over the bathroom sink at 4am while using craft scissors

the white dove flying in the background is so heavyhanded and ridiculous i could honestly go throw up

i'm giving it a 7/10 overall

[anonymoushotsexyperson]

This post on twitter PISSED me off and I can't stop thinking about how no one cares about their friends anymore! SOOO here's a blog post about it.

LIKE ALWAYS THE BIG BOLD PURPLE TEXT ACTS AS STAMPS TO BREAK THE READING UP INTO SMALLER SECTIONS TO ACCOMMODATE THOSE WITH SMALLER ATTENTION SPANS WHO ARE MORE INTRIGUED IN ONE PIECE OVER THE ENTIRE POST! ^-^

Reading everything is encouraged though!

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO CREATE THE LEVELS OF COMRADERY NEEDED TO OVER THROW THE GOVERNMENT IF YOU MOTHA FUCKAS CANT FIND THE SPACE TO TEXT YOUR FRIENDS BACK?? BESTIE BE SO FUCKING FORREAL!:

(THIS section is a little bit off topic from the rest but I can't HELP but mention it.) I think we should all start doing what the original poster did with our friends to be honest. We need to make space for our feelings and expectations in our friendship. Like learn how to fucking leave space for your community. I may have wrote about this before if not I will def be writing about it soon but the lack of community building and intimate friendship skills in gen z is so harmful in so many ways. Not only does it create this 'loneliness epidemic' ( if you're anything like me you've watched a million YouTube video essays on) but dude... DO YOU THINK ROSA PARKS JUST GOT ON THAT DAMN BUS HER DAMN SELF ON A RANDOM ASS DAY AND IT STARTED A REVOLUTION???? NO. They organized that! IT WAS AN ACTIVIST GROUP WHO DID IT AND PLANNED IT! How do you think black activism was able to prevail through the racist ass civil rights movement? COMMUNITY BUILDING AND GRASS ROOTS ORGANIZING AND GIRL LOOK AT THE STATE OF THE WORLD WE COULD USE THAT RIGHT NOW !

"SOMETIMES YOUR FRIEND IS DEPRESSED" IS AN EXPLANATION NOT EXCUSE (DONT SHARPEN ANY PITCHFORKS YET JUST LISTEN):

NOWWWW listen, I know we are all at our own pace with interpersonal relationships I get that, I can already hear the "Sometimes your friends can be depressed though so maybe YOU should consider that" crowd grabbing their pitchforks but, dude. Especially if you're an adult, you need to learn how to master these obstacles in certain situations. I know this sucks so bad and its unfair but your relationships are still half your responsibility hurting someone because you weren't mentally well still hurt them. I know this better than fucking anyone as someone who has borderline and had to come to terms with that myself. It's an annoying and unfair and hard truth but once you admit it to yourself you can become a better companion. We all have things going on but the people in your life deserve the respect of you at the least attempting to communicate on why you're not upholding the level of intimacy you have set for yourself with said person. Next section are two fairly easy skills to help manage your mental health but be a good friend. ALSO if you're doing the things in the next section with them and your friends still is an ass about it because they don't like the compromise you were able to give or whatever DO be mindful that the relationship is half their responsibility too. Friends should be able to leave space for their mentally ill friends (if they're being properly communicated to and their needs are also being taken into account) that can look like patience understanding and willingness to compromise or lending a helping hand or shoulder to cry on, meeting you where you're at. And if they can't do that after you extend that communication or compromise to them maybe you guys shouldn't be close friends who expect those things from one another or possibly not friends at all but thats up to you to choose!

A TIP FOR YOU DEPRESSED BITCHES :

( I use bitch and hoe as terms of endearment I love my depressed shawty baes)

You bad at communicating and you about to ghost all your friends? Well before you do or better yet when you're in a healthy state of mind tell them thats a problem you have and if its a friend you're really close to who might still need reassurance when you go ghost try to come up with some compromise like "I will still go ghost in the sense that I won't communicate but ill send memes I see to let you know your on my mind!" or "I will do a week/ monthly check in with you but thats all I have the energy for." (remember not to abuse these strategies though! throughout your journey of healthy confrontation you will learn how to discern between whether or not you are using them because you genuinely need them in that moment or if its because you are closing yourself away from the world a toxic amount and need to face your feelings around and with other people)

A TIP FOR YOU HOES OUT THERE WHO HAVE TROUBLE COMMUNICATING :

Muster up the strength to say or set up something like this maybe before you enter that state of mind while you're still in the good place! "hey I have a habit of doing ____ if i'm not in a good place. So when you text me I will text back this same funny meme or tiktok etc as a symbol to let you know i'm in I wanna die mode!" this is a way to communicate to your close friends that you're in a bad headspace at the moment and can't give much energy to the friendship without really having to say anything besides the first time you bring it up if you're uncomfortable all you have to do is send that meme or maybe emoji etc! (Make sure you aren't abusing this strategy to avoid working on your communication issues though because that can regress your communication abilities and friendships even further this is something you will learn and determine for yourself through trial and erorr)

Remember both of these sections are first steps but we also wanna work on being able to compromise SOMETIMES when we haven't left the bad place yet but I know many of you aren't ready for that. SO I won't scare y'all away.

OVERALL TAKE/ CLOSING STATEMENT:

Maybe you're someone who genuinely can't maintain close intimate friendships with sensitive people and maybe i'm wrong here and this might offend you but in most cases I believe thats not true. A lot of people are just scared of sensitivity and emotions. A lot of people are fed up with life and won't allow themselves to push passed their own imaginary limits to open up the can of worms that truly is making and maintaining intimate friendships.

The truth is a lot of us ARE sensitive, but we make ourselves smaller for all the people we love because "they have other stuff going on". I can't help but think if you agree with the qrt or had an 'its not that deep' reaction thats the qualities of being a bad friend (and its not your fault because within especially western individualist culture and patriarchal culture thats what we are taught to be but UNLEARN it).

Also I understand being traumatized by someone who was really sensitive and didn't know how to communicate and they became abusive, I also understand that having a sensitive friend again after that can be triggering. I'm so sorry that happened to you. BUT I hope you don't let your abuser take away this learning experience from you because healthy confrontation once learned is such a beautiful thing. ALSO healthy confrontation doesn't mean devoid of any emotion or things that make you uncomfortable don't expect people who are upset at you to shit sunshine and fart rainbows but its important to make sure you're NOT being verbally abused either. (I will make a post soon about healthy confrontation soon and what that looks like). Hey i'm not saying the original poster had the healthiest response either (im pretty sure the kms thing was meant to be a self deprecating joke not actual emotional manipulation keep that in mind) but it is a natural response to being hurt and more than likely the type of response you give after multiple offenses not just one thing. That is the behavior of someone who's felt ostracized for a while. I would not in any way shape or form consider it an abusive response though yeah it makes you uncomfortable, which circles me back around to the beginningof this. Stop making yourself smaller for the people you love, it's okay to make things uncomfortable by mentioning your feelings because they need to learn to be comfortable with talking about things.

If you continue to make yourself smaller for the people you love, one day you will look around you and you will see all the people you love, but you won't see the people who love you and... that? THAT is pain.

so reader, what do you think? Leave a comment even if you disagree! I genuinely wanna know.

[south-park-polls]

South Park Song Tournament: Round 2!

[make sure to follow @votemattrey for more south park related polls!]

Thank you all so much for the engagement you've shown with round one of my tournament! Round 2 will begin tomorrow!

The songs still in the tournament are as follows:

South Park Theme Song

I'm Gonna Make Love to You, Woman - Cartman Gets an Anal Probe (S1 E1)

The Lonely Jew on Christmas - Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo (S1 E9)

Chocolate Salty Balls - Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls (S2 E9)

Underpants Gnomes Work Song - Gnomes (S2 E17)

I Hate You Guys - Jakovasaurs (S3 E4)

Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Carol of the Bells - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Christmas Time in Hell - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Merry Fucking Christmas - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

O Holy Night - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics (S3 E15)

Fingerbang - Something You Can Do With Your Finger (S4 E8)

Wendy's Audition Song - Something You Can Do With Your Finger (S4 E8)

It's Butters! - Butters' Very Own Episode (S5 E14)

Montage - Asspen (S6 E2)

Sea People and Me - The Simpsons Already Did It (S6 E7)

The Ballad of Lemmiwinks - The Death Camp of Tolerance (S6 E14)

Bleeding Heart Rock Protest Song vs. Pro War Country Song - I'm a Little Bit Country (S7 E4)

Taco Flavoured Kisses - Fat Butt and Pancake Head (S7 E5)

Faith + 1 Album - Christian Rock Hard (S7 E9)

Casa Bonita - Casa Bonita (S7 E11)

French Canada - It's Christmas in Canada (S7 E15)

Let's Fighting Love - Good Times with Weapons (S8 E1)

My Robot Friend - AWESOM-O (S8 E5)

I've Got Some Apples - Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset (S8 E12)

Make It Right - The Death of Eric Cartman (S9 E6)

Love Lost Long Ago - Follow That Egg! (S9 E10)

We Can Live Together - Ginger Kids (S9 E11)

I am the Dawg - Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy (S10 E10)

California Loves the Homeless - Night of the Living Homeless (S11 E7)

Imagination Song - Imaginationland (S11 E10-12)

Canada on Strike - Canada on Strike (S12 E4)

Super Fun Time - Super Fun Time (S12 E7)

You Gotta Do What You Wanna Do - Elementary School Musical

Gay Fish - Fishsticks (S13 E5)

Poker Face - Whale Whores (S13 E11)

Minorities at my Water Park - Pee (S13 E14)

You and Cthulhu - Mysterion Rises (S14 E12)

Work Mexican Work - The Last of the Meheecans (S15 E9)

I'm Not the Poorest Kid in School - The Poor Kid (S15 E4)

Make Bullying Kill Itself - Butterballs (S16 E5)

Jackin' it in San Diego - Butterballs (S16 E5)

I Swear - Cartman Finds Love (S16 E7)

Princess Kenny Theme - A Song of Ass and Fire (S17 E8)

My Bitch Ain't No Hobbit - The Hobbit (S17 E10)

Push (Feeling Good on a Wednesday) - The Cissy (S18 E3)

The Tale of Craig's Mom's Bush - The Magic Bush (S18 E5)

The Yelper Special (Boogers and Cum) - You're Not Yelping (S19 E4)

The Ballad of Tweek and Craig - Tweek x Craig (S19 E6)

Put It Down - Put It Down (S21 E2)

I Love You Social Distancing - The Pandemic Special

Mountain Town - South Park: Biggger, Longer & Uncut

Uncle Fucka - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

It's Easy Mmkay - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Blame Canada - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Kyle's Mom's a Bitch - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

What Would Brian Boitano Do - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Up There - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

La Resistance - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

I Can Change - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

I'm Super - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

We Missed You Randy - South Park: The Streaming Wars

I Got Cred, Bitches - South Park (Not Suitable For Children)

[minnow-doodle-doo]

🎵 and jason todd!!

I have so many songs for him so not to clog everyone's dash up I'm gonna have them below the cut.

Living on the Sand by Colter Wall

Leave them lights as they are And keep your clothes on I've had more than my fill Of whiskey and women And good-hearted villains But there's a wickedness in me still

Keep that gun locked away Locked away, boy Well, you know you're an angry young man Going in town with six rounds You're sure to be hell-bound That house you've got is built on the sand

I've been living on the sand Don't take much to guide my hand Far from promised land On the sand

Don't look twice, look twice at that bottle You'll claim that Jesus turned the water to wine You'll be wishing that wine you were drinking was water When you're jumping the bridge in the night

Forgive me, forgive me Don't it sound more clear When I'm screaming it day after day? I've lost all my patience I'm wasted on waiting on Making my next mistake

All That by Oliver Tree

Quit running your big mouth like you all that Nobody catch ya ass when you fall back Bitch, I look away, I never saw that I was running through the trenches in a war mask Stop looking at me like I was deranged (Okay) Do you ever think I feel your pain? (No way)

Extraordinary specimen, lit 'til the day I die Smoke clouds help me float on by I been high my whole goddamn life Even my momma couldn't tell me why

Why I'm such a sick motha fucka Let me take a hit (Okay) Now let me take another I'm falling, and I can't stand up

My dad used to tell me man up Me and my brother put the gloves on But now I'm too fucked up to function (No way) I collapsed in the middle of the street just a block away

Coming Down by Tyler Childers

Don't you wish that you could go back sometimes? Don't you wish you could go back home? Tryin' to remember just where it was 'Member you ain't alone 'Member you ain't alone

Every day's another pointless job And every night's another lonesome song Tryin' to remember when your bed wasn't leather You were the one singin' along Lord, where did we go wrong?

Now the sky is coming down Can't you see the stars fallin'? Have yourself another round 'Til you can't hear the darkness callin' 'Til you can't hear the darkness call you

There was a good man in the makin' once In the light of yesterday Tryin' to remember just who he was Tryin' like hell to recall his name Well, it used to be my name

Transcendent Ramblin' Railroad Blues by Colter Wall

Lay me down easy Lay me down hard Light my cigarette and make my bed Somewhere beneath the stars

I was born a blue child Of the wild western sky But I left my prairie home Found a boxcar for to ride Now I'm way down in Okema Earning blisters on my feet With my guitar and my buck knife Thumbing down Woody Guthrie Street

So lay me down easy Lay me down hard Light my cigarette and make my bed Somewhere beneath the stars Don't look for me in glory Don't look for me below 'Cause I'll be riding on that freight Where the souls of ramblers go

And there's a sadness that follows Most everywhere I roam You can see it on my smile You can smell it on my clothes Sometimes all that running It never lasts too long So keep me good and loaded And I'll keep singing songs

[thechosenstories]

Nobodies Safe

Part 8

Gathering my thoughts I quickly looked around the dark room for my purse. I needed to call Yahli. “ What the fuck!” I said aloud . With my hands shaking I fumbled around my bag for my phone . Quickly scrolling my contacts I found her name and hit call.

“ Hello”, she said groggily, I’m assuming I woke her up. I quickly hung up. I don’t know if it was embarrassment or just not wanting to get her tied up in this shit anymore than she already was . Whatever it was I didn’t send her an S.O.S. What I did was call an Uber. Sent a pin. And waited. While I waited outside without a person in sight. Make up running and my feet throbbing I became enraged. I couldn’t describe where this new found pain came from but I was livid. I felt violated. These mutha fuckas really took me to some back alley building and did god knows what to me while I was passed out for however long and then just left me. I snapped out of my internal battle just in time to see headlights approaching. After the nights events I took a few steps back to match the vehicle with the photo on my phone before proceeding to do the same with the driver . Once confirmed I got in , mind racing and attempting to come up with a plan . It was no longer about paying a debt back. It was now about getting even. Payback is a bitch and tonight that bitch is me!

Arriving at the hotel I greeted the doorman and proceeded to the elevators. I quickly made my way down the hall to my suite. Once inside I walked straight to the mini bar . Twisting the top off I drank straight from the bottle until my chest felt like it was going to explode . Sitting on the floor for the first time since my life changed a few days ago , I cried. I cried so loud and so hard I know the entire hotel floor heard me. I didn’t care. I cried over loss, over loneliness, over anger, and the unknown . The next morning I woke up on the floor in a fetal position. Oddly enough I felt good. In fact I felt great. I pulled myself together , put my phone on the charger and handled my hygiene . I grabbed my phone as it alerted me of a text. “ Hey girlie, let’s plan to meet at the dock around 4 xoxo” I looked at the time and realized I have 30 mins to get there. I called the front desk for car service and made my way to dinner knowing tomorrow all of this would be over.

I arrived at the dock right on time and was immediately welcomed with a kiss to each cheek. I hugged Yahli and took a seat as we proceeded to coast off into the sea . I laughed at all of Pedro’s corny jokes and wondered if Yahli was faking too. My stomach started to growl and I was hoping dinner would be served soon so I could eat and we could discuss the accounts . Between me starving and being on this water a struggle needed to be picked. And soon. As if the chef could read my mind he rang a bell and we all proceeded in the cabin to eat. The spread was beautiful and tasted amazing . “ So Chosen, I’m sorry about Tyrell. I sincerely always enjoyed his company. I only knew him through business but each time we were in each others presence we shared stories and laughs. I can’t imagine the pain you feel. But I hope this gives you some comfort. Tyrell has a safety deposit box that he kept strictly for emergencies. He left clear instructions that if ever this day would come or he died, I was to give you this key. And this letter. Please do not read it here. You read at the hotel when you alone” he said in broken English . I reached for the key that was taped to a letter folded multiple times as Pedro cupped his hands in mine as if he knew how relieved I was to know I would be ok. Tyrell did plan and in his plan he included me. “Tomorrow you will come to the bank and you will access that safety deposit box, then everything will make sense. Now eat up and enjoy” he said as he grabbed Yahli for a long kiss . I smiled without realizing how stupid and creepy I probably looked just staring at them kiss. But I missed that. It was these moments that made me yearn for Tye. The way he would kiss me so passionately no matter where we were. I quickly turned my head to my glass of champagne and took a sip . My mind went back to the letter. I wondered what it said. I wanted to jump ship and swim back to shore just so I could open it up. But instead I attempted to enjoy the ride and continued to miss my man.

[scentedchildnacho]

He asked me how I was so I said there is such a voted for power if everything closes down and people are told to just not show up around anymore....the car traffick beastiel beater either lights or sound bombs is so painful ageing and debilitating I truly become completely intellectualized about people here I'm so disgusted by it's expression I don't actually care about anyone

I am one of the nature freaks who is sure the best thing I can do for anyone anymore is not believe I can love anyone

I admitted I was introduced to the mental health strategy long enough to find physics mentality for people or people pretty sure a mentality exists and after what I have seen people willing to do to one another it's they would ever give people this insane any type of weapon a bike or car or anything

Jhumpa lahiri and Canadian intelligence ...this type of manipulation of American aggression is very repulsive neo Nazism and the males are so nasty they sick a dugas to cause aids on the gays......the males are noticed body building to femicide from resource theft so it appears dugas was a cognitivists they bring the males out to see if they behave cannibalistically and they do so they will spread something to lower its pride down to the feminine condition

Expressions this brutal are like Vietnam children are given bikes with light battery batons on them the elderly storm through in cars loud and bitch beating it's very repulsive of needing to hurt incarcerate and control disparate need populations it's just terrifying to ever let anything have a weapon

Do you see me in my condition ever touch tactical battery gear ...no why they sound batter me and gang assault me so I don't touch things or I would get set up to hit someone that didn't deserve it and that's what these horrible creep pale face populations do they hit me and nobody did anything to them nasty fucka helter skelters

[stardewvalley-headcanons]

Stardew valley As things my Parents say. (Mosty Kent)

Kent: Okay Jodi and I are going to Zuzu city tonight to go to the casino.

Sam: Thats boring dont you do anything else?

Kent: Your mom.

Sam:...ew I hate you.

Kent: You asked

...

Sam: What do you mean you don't know my friends names?

Kent: I have my own names for them.

Sam: Witch are?

Kent: Smart ass, Dumb ass, and Fuck ass.

Sam: Whos who?

Kent: Dumb ass is the one with purple hair.

Sam: Abigail.

Kent: Smart ass is the sad one

Sam: Sebastian.

Kent: And you're the Fuck ass.

...

Caroline: Have you been doing drugs? Did you have sex yet? Tried alcohol?

Abigail: No.

Caroline: Ha ha. Loser.

...

(I would like to point out that my dad said what Kent said when defending my cousin. Not Demetrius. I'm so proud if him for sticking up for her because he's come such a long way<3)

Demetrius: Abigail wouldn't date you (Sebastian) anyways she's bi.

Kent: So? Why wouldn't she date him?

Demetrius: She has a girlfriend.

Kent: No she doesn't they broke up.

Demetrius: Yeah but she likes girls cuz she's bi.

Kent: She likes girls and guys- Why does it even matter!

Demetrius: I'm just saying.

Kent: Well your wrong.

...

Sams Birthday

Sam: Wait guys my mom just texted me.

Text: Hi Sam is Vincent. Mom is drunk and wanted me to text you and say 'happy birthday you motha fucka I'm proud of you you stupied bitch. I hope you get as waisted as I am. Love you Bitch.'

...

Haley and Alex looking at Christmas lights

Alex: Why does it look like that elf is beating the dear?

Haley: Oh. I thought he was beating off.

...

Maru recording Robbin working: Hey-

Robbin: Fucking Christ! You scared the crap out if me, Bitch

...

Abigail: Dont worry dad I always have a lie prepared.

Perrie: Thats why I'm proud of you.

...

Haley: How do I look?

Emily looking up from her book: Dont wear mesh It makes you look like a whore.

...

Perrie: Can I borrow some ones for strippers?

...

Sebastian: See this? *Shows Louis' bald tires*

Sebastian: This is where Louis dies.

[dreaminlittlenightmares]

Writing Prompt time, a midnight snack run during a sleepover on the Maw turns into an impromptu cooking lesson when the Twin Chefs discover the kids raiding the kitchen.

Master Chef Junior x Little Nightmares? Got it~ :'D

This ended up being very long...

Title: Soup or Sandwich Word Count: 1649 Characters: the Twin Chefs, the Four Protags CW: Heavy Language Use

Jay peeled away his headphones and leaned back in his chair, exacerbated and fuming. The last match of the night ended in his team getting slaughtered without much resistance. What made the lose worse was that he felt like he was carrying the team all game. He was a good player, no doubt, but he hated being the only player that knew the game. It was a good thing his mic wasn't working, or he would have gone off on the others.

"Yo..."

Jay shot a glance at his twin brother, Peter-Bartimaeus, or P.B. for short. He was holding a small pie with a fork stabbed through it.

Jay jumped out of his seat. "BITCH, IS THAT MY CRAWFISH PIE!?" He stormed over to his twin angrily.

P.B. shoved Jay away with a kick. "Why the fuck would I want to eat your shitty pie, ass wipe? No, this is a fucking mini blueberry pie I made." P.B. pulled out the fork that oozed with purple-violent goo and took a bit of his dessert. "Why, did ya lose?"

Jay hissed as his answer. "You guys have one fucking goal: no lose. And what did these weak-ass, mutha fuckas do? LOSE!" The Chef's sour temper flared up like an unwatched grease fire. "How hard is it to stop the other team from scoring!?"

"Hey!" P.B. stuck the fork back into the pie and placed his hand on his twin's shoulder. "It's just a game..."

"Man, fuck off!" Jay swatted his brother's pity away.

"Oh, fuck you too, Jay! Go eat your fucking nasty ass crawfish, if you're in such a bad mood!"

"I WILL BECAUSE CRAWFISH HAVEN'T FAILED ME, YET!"

Jay stomped out of their shared room and headed back to the Maw kitchens. Technically, the kitchens were closed for the night, but they were never ever really locked up. As the head chefs, both Jay and P.B. had full access to their work area at any hour, which always gave them first dibs at midnight snacks cravings, or making full-on after dinner meals. Jay tried not to indulge himself on making and eating anything heavy after the dinner rush, unless it was a bad night; and tonight's string of loses qualified as a "bad night".

The lift brought him down, and the second the gates opened, he could smell something cooking. Jay groaned. It wasn't like his twin to leave something on the fire, so that meant it had to be the Janitor or the stupid Nomes at work. Honestly, he'd rather they steal bread or cheese from the cabins than cook something. The last time that happened, the gunk was still stained on the porcelain tiles. Jay entered the kitchen area and took up his cleaver. The Lady didn't mind if a few Nomes made it on the menu. If it was the Janitor...well, he guess he could be kind to the blind, short man.

To his surprise, it was neither. Jay watched four little misfits stand near a boiling pot, yelling at each other.

"More cayenne!" shouted Six.

"I'm not putting in more cayenne!" the Runaway Kid shouted back.

"Why not?" Mono put his hands on his hips, "Can't handle the heat, Sev?"

"How about this?" The Raincoat Girl offered a clouded glass jar to the others.

"HEY!" Jay barked at the four children. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

The kids jumped and looked at Jay fearfully. Mono was the first to speak up. "Uh...m-making soup, s-sir?"

"Why the fuck are you making soup?" Jay growled, waddling over to the pot. As far as he could see and smell, these four hadn't made much progress with their attempt at soup.

"We're hungry, you dumb fart," Six answered.

"S-So, we decided to try to make soup!" the Raincoat Girl added gently.

"How hard can soup be?" the Runaway Kid shrugged, and started to stir the water.

"How hard can soup be?" Jay shouted. "HOW HARD CAN SOUP BE!? FUCKING HARD AS HELL, YOU LITTLE SHITS!!" He yanked the wooden spoon from the Runaway Kid. "If you mess up the broth, you fucked up the soup, assholes! Why the fuck would you make soup!?"

"Jay?" P.B. emerged from the corner with his pie container in hand. "The fuck you yelling at?"

"These dumb ass kids are trying to make soup!" Jay scooped up all four of the children in his hands quickly. "Like this shit's easy!"

P.B.'s eyes widen in horror. "Why the fuck would you guys makes soup!? Make a sandwich like a normal person!"

"Listen, brats!" Jay looked down at the kids trying to squirm out of his chubby arms. "If you're hungry, just make a fucking sandwich. Here, P.B. and I will show you how to make the best, easiest goddamn sandwich in world!"

"How hard can soup be?" the Runaway Kid shrugged, and started to stir the water.

"How hard can soup be?" Jay shouted. "HOW HARD CAN SOUP BE!? FUCKING HARD AS HELL, YOU LITTLE SHITS!!" He yanked the wooden spoon from the Runaway Kid. "If you mess up the broth, you fucked up the soup! Why the fuck would you make soup!?"

"Jay?" P.B. emerged from the corner with his pie container in hand. "The fuck you yelling at?"

"These dumb ass kids are trying to make soup!" Jay scooped up all four of the children in his hands quickly. "Like this shit's easy!"

P.B.'s eyes widen in horror. "Why the fuck would you guys makes soup!? Make a sandwich like a normal person!"

"Listen, brats!" Jay looked down at the kids trying to squirm out of his chubby arms. "If you're hungry, just make a fucking sandwich. Here, P.B. and I will show you how to make the best, easiest goddamn sandwich in world!"

"I don't wanna teach this snot nose kids how to cook!"

"Shut up! You're in the fucking kitchen, so you might as well help!" Jay plopped the four children onto a nearby table, then brought over a round loaf of bread and a bread knife.

"First, you get some good ass bread," the Chef started, "It could be any type of bread, but the best sandwiches always use baguette or ciabatta. But, we ain't got that, so I'm using brioche. Next, cut bread in slices or in half, depending on what you have and if it isn't pre-sliced already. Use one of these." Jay held up a long, serrated knife to show. "This is a bread knife. Use it to cut bread, and nothing else." Jay started to saw the brioche bun in half. The blade crunched through the bread with a weirdly appealing sound.

"Once that's done, toast the bread. Cold sandwiches are okay, but hot ones are vastly superior." Jay went away for short minute and returned with a covered butter dish. "Butter bread. Very important. It helps gives the breaded part extra crisp when it's done." Jay took another knife out and started buttering.

Meanwhile, the kids looked at each other. "We're not seriously gonna watch all this?" asked Six

"I know how to make sandwiches," Mono whispered back.

"HEY! LISTEN!" Jay's voice startled the four friends from the conversation. "If you don't have a toaster like us, put bread in the oven, butter side up. Let it crisp over for about 2 or 3 minutes, depending on the bread you're using. P.B.! Get your ass over here and toast that for me!" The Chef shoved the bun into his twin's hands, then turned back to the kids. "While that's toasting, what kind of sandwich do you kids want?"

"Uh, peanut butter?" the Raincoat Girl suggested.

"I thought you were suppose to teaching us how to make the best fucking sandwich, or whatever?" said the Runaway Kid incredulously.

Jay took her remark as an insult, but P.B. walked in to stop his brother. "Alright, alright, alright, alright. Best fucking sandwich, in my opinion, are breakfast sandwiches. Jay here likes tuna because he's a fucking degenerate. But, since my stupid ass twin is making you a hot-wich, I recommend something with meats. Anyone of you guys vegetarian?" P.B. sighed in relief when they all shook their heads. "Thank God; because if I get another goddamn order for a veggie sandwich, I'm gonna punch the Broadcaster in the dick."

"Meat sandwich, no problem!" Jay shouted and rushed back to the freezer to get an assortment of meats, and a wedge of cheese. "Okay brats, watch this. Alternate between your stuff. Bread, cheese, meat, lettuce if you have any; meat, cheese, and bread again." He sliced through each ingredient skillfully, and layered everything neatly. When the sandwich was complete, he chopped it into quarters and gave each kid a section. "Enjoy!"

The children looked at each other, then settled in eyes on Six. Since she was the one that could eat anything without an adverse effects, she took a huge bite out of quarter first. "Oh! It's good!"

Jay crossed his arms and smiled smugly as the other took a bite out their sandwiches, too. The rest of them also exclaimed in joy over the taste. "Best mutha fucking sandwich ever, am I right?" he boasted. The group of friends nodded happily. "Good..." Jay took a knife and stabbed it hard into the table. "Now, get the fuck out my kitchen!"

The group headed out, happy to have been fed. Jay looked at P.B., beaming with pride.

"Whatever..." P.B. walked back to the pot of hot water and took it off the fire.

"What were those kids trying to make out of the soup anyway?" Jay asked, joining his twin at the sink. Since the children's attempt at cooking was a failure, it was going to go down the drain. P.B. tossed out the water, and both brothers look at whatever was left in the drain. Jay's temper flared up instantly. "THEY WERE FUCKING COOKING MY CRAWFISH!?"

[ramp-it-up]

Everyday

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader, Rafael Casal (as Miles Turner) x Reader

Warnings: MINORS DNI, 18 + , RPF. CURATE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE IF YOU READ BELOW THE CUT. Cursing, drinking, allusion to smoking weed, fantasy, truth or dare, role play, SMUT, Graphic Depictions of Sex, oral sex (M/F receiving), a lil bit of bondage, established relationship, fantasy play.

A/N:  I have no idea what is for trade in prison; sex packets are a made up joke. And I’m really into 90’s rap this week. Anywho, this fic is in response to the following request:

Anonymous asked:

Rafa!!!!! Maybe a fluffy smut where he’s role playing Miles for you? 👀

-------

“Ok, Dare.”

You steeled yourself from the query from Daveed.

“Which fictional character, real or animated, would you like to bone?”

Everyone burst out laughing.

“Real or ANIMATED????”  

You were cracking up laughing and buzzed, feeling good surrounded by your crew of friends who were family.

“Ok, I will answer both.” 

Rafa cleared his throat and settled back on the couch beside you. 

You sat up straight and he watched the curve of your breasts underneath the Oaklandish tee you stole from him that morning.

“Rafael is getting swole! Don’t worry Rafa. She will still come home to your everyday ass.”

“Shut up, Ant. You always got something to say.” You rolled your eyes.  “Everyday with Rafa is amazing.”

You leaned over and kissed Rafa’s lips, which were in a slight frown.  He didn’t like that word, ‘everyday.’

“You good?” You whispered so only you two could hear.

He smiled at you, “No doubt. Answer the man’s question!” Rafa said a little louder, bravado on fleek.

“ANYWAYYY.”  You shook your head at him as you straightened up.  “Max could get it.”

“Max who?” Jasmine was confused.  Then she realized, then leaned over Ant and Rafa to give you a high five.

“Max Who???” Daveed was curious.

“Goofy’s son. Max.”  

Everyone erupted in laughter again. Daveed got up and took the bottle out of your hand. 

“Enough of this.” 

You battled him, jumping up and swatting around D’s head. You won your drink back and sat down.

“As far as ‘real’ fictional characters…” You took a drink. And smiled. All eyes were on you.

“Miles Turner could rearrange my guts.” 

Anthony groaned. Rafa sat up straight. You took another drink . 

“For Real. Ruffnecks kinda do it for me.”

“Gotta who? Gotta have a what?”  Jazzy started rapping. You replied.

“Gotta what? Yo, gotta get a ruffneck.” 

You two started dancing, rapping and singing with your drinks in your hands.

Gotta what? Yo, gotta get a ruffneck

Gotta what? Yo, gotta get a ruffneck

Gotta what? Yo, gotta get a ruffneck

I need it and I want it so I gotta get a ruffneck!

Rafael pulled you down to sit on his lap and Jasmine kept dancing, right in front of Anthony.

Anthony sucked his teeth, but was smiling at Jazzy’s ass. 

“That’s cheating. I mean. That’s just Rafa. I mean, he bones you on the regular.” 

Ant smacked Jasmine on the bottom and took a drink before she plopped down next to him and he put his arm around her.

“You know it!” Rafa and Anthony toasted. 

“But I ain’t Miles.”  

Rafa took another sip of his Abasolo on the rocks.

“And it’s just a fantasy. Right baby.”  

Rafael rubbed your back giving you a look that made you tremble. Rafa felt your warmth on his lap. He grinned into his drink.

“Trueeee!”  

You smiled, trying to keep it light and calm the fuck down. Everyone always made fun of you two smashing in people’s bathrooms.

“You aren’t Miles. I didn’t know you when you were younger....” 

You locked eyes with Rafael, and the green fire there did something to you.  

“I think Rafa is Miles’s wasted potential.”

“Wow. That’s deep,” said Ant from a cloud of smoke.

You and Rafa were locked in an eye embrace as well as a physical one.  When he arched his eyebrow, you had to look away, because you couldn’t take it.  

“Y’all need to use my bathroom?”  More laughter.

You and Rafa both flipped Daveed off. 

“Nah, Diggs.” Rafa stood up with you in his arms.  “We’ll use our own. We out.”  

Your man carried you willingly out of the door.

-----

About two weeks later, you came home with some groceries, you were looking forward to a night in with Rafa.

You’d both been busy and tired lately, only available for maintenance sex. 

Rafa was running around creating all of his creative shit, and you worked in the writers room of a popular series.  Life was hectic.

He was sitting at the kitchen table, hands together on top. 

He was wearing blue scrubs over a white Henley and had his face turned to the side, staring out the window. You noticed that his hair was different.

“Hey, babe. Did you get a haircut? What’s wrong?”

He turned his face toward you and that’s when you noticed two more things. Rafael’s eye was black, and there was a tattoo on his neck.

THAT California tattoo. 

You were very concerned and a little confused. Concern came first in your mind.

“What happened to your eye?”  He gave you a strange look, then he spoke.

“A mutha fucka sneaked me in the yard, that’s what happened!”  

You stood still and had to register what was happening.

Rafa was wearing a grill, and his voice was different, in a lower register  and with a long drawn out, almost southern drawl. 

But it wasn’t southern. It was all Bay.

He stood up and walked toward you, and you noticed that his scrubs had “Prisoner” written in yellow letters down the right leg. 

You suddenly realized what was going on. 

Oh, Shit.

“Baby. You’re a sight for sore eyes.  It’s been a minute.”  

You’d left Rafael in bed this morning.  But it seemed that you came home to Miles.

“Hey,” was all you could say. 

Rafael/Miles gestured for you to come over to the table.  It was then you saw that he was handcuffed. 

A strange feeling came over to you.  He stood up, and you saw that his legs were shackled.  You went close to him and looked at his eye closely.

“Rafa?”

His face was fine, up close, you could tell it was makeup.

“You been to see Galaxy today?”  

You were peering at his neck and the Bay/California tattoo there.

He screwed up his face.

“Who tha fuck is Rafa? And what the hell you talking ‘bout space for?” 

He peered into your eyes, then looked around furtively.

“Babe. Are you high?”

The drawl was a whisper now.

“These muthafuckas’ll kick you out if they think you got drugs on you.”

You smiled at him, pecked him on the lips and replied. 

“No worries. I’m not high.” You sat down at the kitchen table and ‘Miles’ sat across from you. 

“As for Rafa? He’s this guy I know.  Had a nice… conversation with him the other night.”  

You looked into his eyes to see if he would crack.  But your man was a pro.  

He huffed.  “Psshhht.  You MUST be high talking to another dude. What kinda name is Rafa anyway. Sounds like some hipster trash.”  

He peered at you again, anger radiating off of him.

Damn, he was good.

“Tell me what the fuck you mentioning some other muthafucka to my face while I’m locked up in here! Every day.” 

He pounded his bound fists on the table in front of you and made you jump.  It also made you wet as fuck.

He gestured with both hands (because they were handcuffed) to the nice kitchen that you loved to cook in, but that you were now seeing through his performance as a prison visitation room. 

But you were still shook.

“R, R, Rafael is a beautiful artist. He’s a poet. He’s gentle, and kind. And a wonderful lover.” 

Miles glared at you. You stuttered again.

“I-I imagine.”

He gave you a menacing smile and leaned back in the chair, pushing his crotch up in your direction.  Your eyes were drawn there.

“So you imagining fucking another muthafucka and decide to come visit me and tell me about it?”

You got into it.

“Well….I miss you Miles. But it gets hard. Not being able to be with you.”

He leaned forward, bearing his teeth.

“Don’t fucking tell me about it.  Here I am jacking off with leftover chicken grease from the kitchen at night.  Got my dick smelling like a Popeye’s chicken sandwich in this bitch.”

“Ew,” you said, disgusted, then you started giggling at the joke.

Miles pouted and sat back.

“ ‘S not fucking funny!”  He looked out the window again. 

“I shouldn’t even tell you about the surprise.”

You straightened up.  “What is it babe?”

You put your hand on his and he caressed yours with his thumb.  He looked at you, excited and mischievous now.

“I got us a conjugal visit.”

Your mouth dropped open, fully into it now.

“But I thought that was just for married couples, Miles…”

“I know, I know.” He leaned forward and looked around again.  “But I got me a side hustle.”

He shifted his eyes as he scanned the empty room.

“I make sex packets outta the leftover chicken grease from my job in the kitchen. Make a KILLING in oatmeal cream pies, ramen noodles, cigarettes and other tradeable currency.  I made enough to buy us a conjugal visit, girl.”

He leaned back, very satisfied with himself, his hands now on his lap, rubbing his crotch.  

Your eyes were drawn there again and you found yourself irrationally wondering how big his dick was. He had you caught up in this fantasy.

“Let’s go to the trailer and I’ll make you forget all about this Raja guy.” Miles winked at you.

“It’s…”  You saw the look on his face.  “Nevermind. Let’s go.” 

He stood up again, and shuffled his way to the bathroom, you at a safe distance behind him. 

He entered the bedroom and shuffled to the bed, sitting down on the edge. He gestured you to him and you went and stood before him.

He put his nose in your crotch.

“MMMmmmmm. I missed your smell Baby. It’s been too long. He lifted his hands and put them on the insides of your thighs. He pulled back and looked at you, green eyes staring into brown.

“The guards left the key over there. That is, if you wanna get me out of these.” He nodded toward the 

He trailed his hands up to your pelvis, managing to hook one set of fingers into your waistband and still have another at your apex.

He ran his fingers over your jeans right where it counts. This kind of petting felt good and made you want more. 

You let him play for a little while, but then pushed him back to sit and watch you. 

You peeled down your jeans to reveal a white satin thong. Rafael loved white against your coffee brown skin, but tonight, Miles would benefit. You stood there in your button-down shirt, that was really Rafael’s. 

Miles’s hands went to his crotch again as he eagerly watched.

“You seem to be doing pretty well all hemmed up, but let me see.”

You went to the dresser to retrieve the key, and you did, then turned around and put it in your mouth while you slowly unbuttoned the shirt.

Miles leaned back on the bed and opened his legs as far as the shackles would let them go, licking his lips as you disrobed.

You were wearing a white lace bra, your dark nipples and areola straining through the delicate material.  You were very excited at the entire scenario. 

The fact that Rafa was doing this for you because he remembered what you said on a drunken night weeks ago was the shit.

You dropped to the ground and crawled over to Miles’s feet jutting your ass up in the air as you unlocked the shackles.

You massaged his ankles and trailed your hands up his legs to his crotch, where you rubbed the hardness there.

“It’s been so long that you’ve been locked up, Miles.”

You raised up on your knees, loving the feeling of his eyes sweeping over you.

“I’m gonna give you the world’s best blowjob.”

Miles smiled at you.

“Aw, baby. That’s so cute.”

“I’ll show you cute.”

You were about to give your own performance.

------

Five minutes later, you were gargling his cock, relaxing your throat and taking him as deep as you could, nose nestled at his base, and gently pulling and kneading his balls.

Someone moaned, and you didn’t know if it was Rafa or Miles.  He bucked his hips up into your mouth while resting his cuffed hands in your hair.

“As much as I would love to … fuck baby… cum down your throat.. I need that… damn where’d you learn to do that?!... I need that pussy.  Unlock the cuffs, baby.”

His cuffed hands were in your hair, alternating between massaging your scalp and pulling your hair the way you loved it. 

The way Rafael invented. 

You smiled around his cock with the knowledge that what you were doing was making him slip out of character.

You pulled your head upward, mouth open, allowing the saliva to trickle out with his dick. 

He looked at you like he couldn’t believe how nasty you were being. He was mesmerized. You looked a mess, eye makeup running, lipstick smudged, spit all over your face. 

Your dream man loved it.

“Am I ‘cute’ now?”

“Fuck no. You’re so goddamn beautiful.”

You smiled and quickly reached behind you and unclasped your bra, taking your breasts in your hands and pushed them up around his dick.

“See, if you unlock these cuffs, I’ll handle things the way they need to be handled.”

You just smiled up at him while you manipulated your breasts around him, knowing that he could not control his hips fucking into your cleavage.

“I got it under control.” You stuck your tongue out to tease his tip as it neared your face, lubricating it with your saliva.

“Fuck, baby.  I wanna fuck you so bad. It’s been so long…”

This entire scene was just about the hottest thing ever. You were breathless, dripping, and quivering with anticipation. But you didn’t want it to end so soon.

“How long ‘xactly?”

“Shit, 5 months of being here and jacking off to memories of you everyday.  I need to see that ass and fuck that pussy, babyyyy. Please.”

Those eyes.

Those words. 

The acting. 

Miles. 

You had to relent.

You reached for the key where you dropped it on the floor and unlocked the cuffs.

“Fucking finally!”  Miles rubbed his wrists as he stood up, stripped his shirts off and his pants the rest of the way.

“On the bed, let me see that ass up.” 

He smacked it about three times each and then rubbed it as you did as you were told. 

Miles trailed his hand from your ass up your spine to your shoulder and then pushed your head down further into the bed.

“That’s a girl.” Your back had that perfect arch.

He got behind you and swiped his hardness up and down your slit, teasing you with the head of his dick.

He grabbed your hand and brought behind your back, and very swiftly the other, and before you knew it, your hands were cuffed behind you, head in the bed and Miles was entering you swiftly.

“Fuuuuck! How does it feel?”

You couldn’t speak. The thrill of Miles’ dick inside you and being cuffed had you ready to cum already.

His stroke game was on point, as if he was fucking you to a brand new rhythm- Allegro. 

Strangely, it was different than Rafa had ever been.

That was blowing your mind.

Miles tugged on the metal restraints and the slight pain in your shoulders and wrists, combined with the thrill of this roleplay, made you release, all over him and the bed.

“Shit girl, you really are glad to see me.” That drawl got you ready to peak again.

“Oh fuck yeah, Miles, oh shit, oh shit.” Your pussy was clamping down on him at the thought of Miles Turner having his way with you.

“Shit, I’m cumming with you, hold up.”  

Rafa tried to slow down, but you did that thing with your pussy and he couldn’t help it.  His hips drove his dick inside you until it pulsed and started to flow, and then he pulled out.

“Turn over baby.”

You leisurely moved to turn over, and he motioned you down to the end of the bed, moving the pillow where he wanted your head.

“I need in between those legs, baby.  I need to see you, I need to surround me with you.”

You positioned yourself at the end of the bed, your braids hanging over the edge.

Miles gave you a forehead kiss as he got between your thighs, and pumped himself a couple of times as he aligned with you.  

He leaned down and pulled at your nipple with his mouth, moaning when you moaned, moving his eyes appreciatively down your body and keeping his eyes where you were about to join.

The look on his face when he entered you was very hot, and you found your pussy squeezing his cock in appreciation. It seemed magically somehow bigger, and all of your senses were alive as he started moving.

“That’s my beautiful baby. You’re so fucking tight. Don’t push me out, let me have the glorious pussy. Damn girl, this pussy, those thighs, your curves, these tits. What did a man like me do to deserve you. You’re such a fucking sweet princess for me…”

You were astounded. Missionary was far from your favorite position because you seldom came that way, but the way Miles was whispering praise in your ear and the total fantasy was getting you there. 

Quickly.

He watched your face and adjusted his pace in response to your cries, and that knowledge made you start to come. When your eyes rolled back in your head, that’s when he knew.

He pulled your hair back and sucked the shit out of your neck as you came, and he released inside you.  You wrapped your legs around him and held him as he shivered with the aftershocks of his orgasm.

Your lover rolled off of you and you snuggled into his arm. He lay there and held you as you tried to process.

“That was… wow.” You weren’t sure who to address, Rafa or Miles. Irrationally you felt you were in love with both.

He just chuckled at you, and gave you another forehead kiss.

“I’m going to enjoy a shower.  Goodbye for a while, baby.”

You grinned. “Bye Miles.”

He pecked you on the lips and you watched him go into the bathroom.

You rolled over on your back and tried to organize your thoughts. How would you write this?

Thoughts of writing this scene chased you into sleep.

---

You woke up to Rafael, grill and tattoos gone, freshly out of the shower and in a towel, gently trying to pull you from sleep.

“C’mon.”  

You let him get you up and into the bathroom to a hot bath.  You let him tenderly clean you up and then get you out of the tub and dry you off. You were more tired than you thought.

“You hungry?” You walked into the kitchen in a towel behind him.

Rafa had put the groceries up and was holding up takeout menus. He was truly magical. You smiled, nodded and told him what you wanted.

45 minutes later, you were in his softest Oaklandish tee and you were curled up on the couch in the living room together, food containers spead out on the coffee table.

You felt totally in sync with this amazing man.

“I loved tonight.”

He smiled softly back at you.

“Had to give you your fantasy since you help me live mine. Every day.” 

He leaned over and kissed you.  He looked you intensely in the eyes. Those green pools had you trapped.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Rafael.”

Your fantasy had been Miles, but your reality was Rafael. 

And that was fantastic. 

Everyday.

-------

Tags:

@braidedchallah @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @imatyoursurrvicesurr @riiyy @ivycomet @lonelydance @jbrizzywrites @delaber @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @janthonystan-blog @anh1020 @sillyteecup @ohsoverykeri  @theselilwonders @biafbunny @summerofsnowflakes  @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @janthonybitch @einfachniemand @einfachniemand

[fluffyglass]

THE MISS CHATTERBOX PLEASE CONTINUE TALKING I LIKE HEARING WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY MASTERPOST

Blah blah blah you know what's up

Season 1

Miss Chatterbox is in 26 episodes of Season 1.

In 6 of these episodes she does something wrong.

Season 2

Miss Chatterbox is in 27 episodes of Season 2.

In 9 of these episodes she does something wrong.

Conclusions

Miss Chatterbox does something wrong in 15 out of the 53 episodes she's in, which is 28%. She didn't have any unsures, so I'm leaving it at that

Yellow - Miss Chatterbox does nothing wrong

Red - Miss Chatterbox does something wrong

SEASON 1

Physical - just did a little dance

Lake - just played a little game

Mall - just walked on a little escalator

Birthday - just made a little call on the telephone

Books - just had a little lunch with her little friends

Camping - ik I said Mr. Fussy's in the wrong here but Miss Chatterbox is too. He did ask her multiple times to be quiet :(

Paint - just sat down for a little portrait

Construction - OH MY FUCKING GOD THE AMOUNT OF CRIMES SHE COMMITS

Jobs - just kinda existed

Trains - BACKGAMMON

Fair - just went through a little funhouse

Dance - just wrote a little story

Inventions - okay. This is a tough one. This segment makes me so fucking mad it's almost unbelievable. But none of it was intentional on Miss Chatterbox's part. She only invented the polite-o-phone and gave it to Mr. Rude, and presumably didn't expect it to do what it did, but there's also the fact that like. SHES KINDA ERASING WHO HE IS??? ITSL IKE IM SO FUCJKING CONFUSED ON THIS ONE im marking it as red fuck this episode

Amusement Park - just had a little conversation

Dillydale Day - just sang a little song

Food - just was a little waitress

Bugs - just uh . what even happened in this episode

Circus - what even is this episode

Canned Goods - sweetcorn

Ships - this is literally just fucking Boats again

Cooking - this episode sucks WAIT MISS CHATTERBOX IS VEGAN?? wait no she had cheese in Books uhhhhh just vegetarian then ALSO SHE JUST STRAIGHT UP DOESNT HELP CLEAN UP AFTER SHE WHOOPS AND MESSY FUCKED UP MR FUSSYS KTICHEN SMH

Night - yep

Collecting - I'm tired

Sleep - fucka you

Sightseeing - EYES ON THE ROAD!!!

Lawns - shes just trying her best

SEASON 2

Driving - she literally just says words Mr. Fussy's just a bitch

Clean Teeth - part of the group that invades Mr. Grumpy's house

Shoes - she's just an actress so she's just vibing

Game Shows - she doesn't even do anything she just got donkye good for her

Reptiles - doesnt give a shit when Mr. Bump's about to fucking die

Hats - just kinda there

Robots - just kinda there again. Surprised they used her and not Mr. Noisy for this bit

Dining Out - just kinda vibing

Gifts - still vibing

Sun and Moon - still still vibing

(TF DO YOU MEAN SHE'S NOT IN TELEPHONE??????)

Seashore - almost dies lmao

Sneezes & Hiccups - just kinda vibing againnnnnnnnn

Supermarket - I refuse to watch this episode again I'm assuming shes good

Skyscrapers - fuck you

Cinema - STOP TALKING DFURING THE MOVIEUI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting Around - I'm gonna go take a nap

Trees - I took a nap and now I come back and i have to watch this awful fucking episode fuck this episode i hate this episode a lot I hate this episode!!!

Pirates - I have recovered

Out to Sea - yep she sure is there

Next Door - spoon :)

Lunch - Mr. Fussy a bitch

Fairies and Gnomes - commits home invasion

Home Improvement - she made the plans to turn Mr. Grumpy's house into a castle with no permission on his part

Birds - fuck this episode FUCK OFF HE WANTS TO MEDITATE

Bath and Bubbles - LEAVE MR. QUIET ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Parks - bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

Travel - she just hanging out

[fallen-angel-92]

Caged Within

Chapter one: The Lonely Bird

Warnings: Cussing, foul language

Rating: Mature

A/N: Hello. I wanted to do a therapy fic that would help me through my rough patches in life and so this fic was born. I also would like to thank my friend, Ash, for editing and looking over this fic for me. I would also like to thank @tilltheendwilliwrite and @teejaywyatt1​  for their wonderful support. 

Summary: Serenity Ross, a woman known for her lone wolf nature and her inability to find a date due to her body type. After being stood up for the tenth time since moving to Mill Neck. However, a single phone call will cause her to face demons that were long since buried. 

“Where does the darkness end, and the light begin? In that regard I may never know, for my days were always dark.” - unknown.

It was a normal morning; the sun rose over the horizon, a lone woman sat upon her back porch, dark brown eyes staring blankly at the sun. The dark bags underneath her eyes, showing the sun that she has not slept well. Lifting her right hand, she pushes her glasses back up over her eyes and in their proper place. As she removed her hand from her face, her eyes glanced at the long sleeves and her dry chubby hands. She stared at them for a moment, before she suddenly heard her cell phone ringing. Letting out a small sigh, she stood up, walking up the step she was originally sitting on and re-entered her home.

Closing the door behind her, she silently made her way back into the house, her bare feet making no noise as she walked across the wooden flooring. Upon the table she could see the name:

                                                Crystal

She frowned, knowing that she would want to know how last night went, clenching her eyes shut as she picked up the phone off the table and pressed the answer button.

“Hello.” She tiredly spoke into the phone.

“Serenity! Girl, how did last night go!? Wasn’t’ he a looker?” She started speaking excitingly through the phone.

Serenity reached the phone away from her ear as she walked over to the nearby table and sat down on it. The chair scraped against the floor slightly, causing a loud enough noise for Crystal to go silent. As soon as Serenity placed her weight upon the chair, she solemnly spoke,

“He didn’t show…”

“What the fuck!? What the hell you mean he didn’t show!? That son of a bitch! I’m gonna fucking knock his ass out-” Crystal began to speak angrily, however, Serenity spoke again with a defeated tone,

“Crystal… It’s fine. I knew this would happen, anyway. I seem to attract the wrong type of men…” Serenity stated as she looked down at the grooves within her wooden table.

“Serenity-” Crystal spoke again, however, she was cut off once more by the sound of beeping on her end of the phone.

“This asshole… I’ll call you back, home girl. I am about to go fucking Madea on this mutha fucka.”

Serenity simply shook her head as she responded, “Don’t worry. You know if I don’t answer it’s probably because I went back to sleep.”

“Alright, Serenity. I’ll talk to you later. Love ya.” Crystal spoke calmly before hanging up.

Serenity simply took the phone away from her ear, placing it down onto the table, and looked at the time. Sighing, as she slowly got up from her seat and walked into the kitchen that was connected to the dining room. Serenity didn’t make it far as her phone rang again. Looking over her shoulder, she closed her eyes for a moment and quickly went back over to her phone to see who was calling her,

                                                    POPS

Serenity quickly picked up the phone answering and put her phone on speaker as she firefly spoke.

“Hello pops.”

“Hey Sweetheart. You alright? You sound tired?” Her father’s deep, gruff voice asked with a hint of worry.

Serenity placed the phone upon the counter next to the stove as she walked around the kitchen aimlessly looking for food as she replied,

“Yes, sir. I am tired… Didn’t sleep well last night…”

“Nightmares? Or that lousy date the Crystal set you up on?” He responded with a slight grouchy tone.

Serenity looked over the phone with a bit of amusement at her father’s tone as she replied, “Both, I suppose…”

“How lousy was the date?” Her father asked, amusement coating his voice.

“Lousy to the point he didn’t show at all-”

“What the fuck? The hell you mean he didn’t show?” Her father cut in angrily.

Serenity looked at the phone with a sad smile as she replied, trying to prevent tears from forming in her eyes, “It always happens pops. I should be used to it by now.”

“No, you fucking shouldn’t be used to it. Next time Crystal tries to set you up. Tell her to ‘fuck off.’ Obviously these men can’t handle you if they aren’t even showing up.”

“You know she is just trying to be a friend, pops.” Serenity weakly argued as she pulled out eggs, bacon and cheese and a pan so she could begin breakfast.

“Some fucking friend she is, if all the shit heads she has tried to set you up with keep fucking standing you up-”

Serenity could hear her father take a deep breath, and releasing it slowly, trying to rain in his anger before continuing on in a more calm manner.

“Sorry sweetheart, I know she’s your friend in everything, but she sucks fucking ass at trying to make you feel better by setting you up on these stupid was dates. As for your nightmare, was it the same one?”

Serenity cracked an egg in her now hot pan as she quietly replied, “Yes pops.”

She could hear her father lowly grumble, just as she opened her mouth to apologize a familiar British voice speaks up through the phone,

“Oi! Barney! Who are you talking to?”

“When the hell did it become your business on who the fuck I talk too on the phone!?” She could hear him yell back.

Serenity smiled slightly as she flipped the egg over, after puncturing the yolk, making the egg completely flat. As the egg cooked on the other side, she could hear the familiar voice of her father’s British companion speak up once again, obviously annoyed,

“What? You got some mistress or something?”

“The fuck you on, Christmas? Can’t a man talk to his daughter?”

“That Pup on the phone? Pup! When the hell are you coming to visit? Your old man sucks ass at cooking!” Another deep male accented voice chimed in.

“Fuck you, Gunnar! I have to let you go, sweetheart. Love you and I’ll call you later on today.” Her father said as he hung up the phone.

Serenity smiled sadly at the phone as she finished making her egg, cheese and bacon sandwiches. After plating her breakfast, she put the dirty dishes into the sink, opting to do them later before heading back into the dinning room and quickly ate her meal. After finishing, she returned to the kitchen to throw away her paper plate and do the little bit of dishes that were in the sink. Once they were done, Serenity dried her hands off and made her way toward the hall that led to her bedroom.

Her bedroom was a modest size, despite the gothic like architecture that went into the home. She walked over to her drawers, pulling out fresh clothes for her to wear today, as soon she made her choice of simple jeans and a loose fitting button up red long sleeve shirt. Turning to her left, she entered the doorway that led to her bathroom. Upon entering, Serenity turned on the lights before she set her clothes down onto the toilet. As she removed her shirt, her eyes caught her reflection causing her to look at. In the mirror, she could see the bags under her eyes that seemed to pop out against her caramel colored skin.

Her short black hair cut in a bob-like style only with the left side being shorter than the right. However, it was obvious by how dark it was; she needed a shower. Her chubby cheeks slightly red from the heat of the kitchen, quickly she looked away from the mirror, not wanting to look at her reflection anymore, especially the scars on her neck. Stripping the remaining clothes, removing her glasses and stepping into the shower, allowing the hot water to wash down her body. Not wanting to stay in there long, Serenity quickly washed herself and her hair before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower. Grabbing the towel that was hanging on the wall opposite of the toilet.

As soon as she was dried she quickly got dressed, not wanting to linger in the bathroom for long, and placed back on her glasses. Serenity exited the bathroom, still drying out her hair as she walked over to her bed, sitting down on her bed, leaving her towel on her head as she turned to the picture sitting on the stand next to the bed upon her nightstand. The picture was of her graduation, both she and her father were side hugging and showed happiness. However, before she could dwell anymore into the past, she could hear the familiar ringtone of her phone. Getting up, Serenity quickly makes her way back to the kitchen where she left it.

Without really looking at it, she answers with a tired, “Hello?”

“Serenity. It’s good to hear from you. I trust you have been well?” The familiar male accented voice spoke calmly.

Instantly she could feel a headache coming on and she let out a quiet sigh as she responded, “To what do I owe your call, Han?”

“I need your help. Meet me at the Continental in the bar area. We will speak then.” Han stated before hanging up, leaving Serenity agitated.

She quickly removed the towel from her hair, quickly reentering her room throwing the towel upon the bed and moving toward her longer dresser grabbing the brush off the top of it. After brushing her hair back, she pulled out some socks from the middle drawer, putting them on, and then proceeded toward the bathroom to brush her teeth. After leaving her bathroom and her room, Serenity makes her way toward the front door and puts on her boots that were sitting near the door. Upon the coat rack, she grabbed her black leather jacket. Upon the back was the stitching of her family.

It was of a simple skull, with a single raven sitting on the top, and underneath it was a red ribbon, upon which it read Expendables. Smiling slightly, Serenity put it on, making sure her wallet and keys were still in the pockets. When she felt them, she quickly took out the keys and left the house, locking it up. Walking over to the driveway, she made her way toward her Harley-Davidson Street 750 motorcycle. Straddling it, Serenity started it up, sitting down upon the seat she quickly took off allowing the wind to dry her hair as she sped toward the one place she hated going to more than anything. The Continental Hotel.  

[es05l2k5sl]

I'll never understand why WB had to redesign the Batcast for the new Bat adventures. Some characters took getting used to. But as for the villains, I'm roasting they asses cus they're ugly. Can't change my mind.

These Oswalds together look like 2 different people bruh. But we're here to talk about new Oswald. This Wimpy x Olive Oyl fusion snoody looking ass bitch. I'd like his outfit if it didn't have that lazy drawned bow tie looking like 2 triangles glued together & those fake ass MJ gloves. Also when tf did he have 10 fingers in dis universe? Also fuck that hair. Rocking a balding Mullet like ponytail before. Now it's just a boring cut down. Got dat snooty ass bitch look on face like his bird shit don't be stinking. I'll rock tf out u. Lookin like a whole ass Looney character or sum mf from the 30s.

Wot da fuck dey got Selena wearing here? Sis looking like a whole ass alien. Kid vs Kat looking ass bish. And her skin white af too? Did sis fall in some damn Joker acid too? Sis whole lower face is white as shit! Dat shit paler than crack. Like sis got the white slapped outta her and she just turned whiter. Das probably what happened. Her ass probably got on my mans Bruce last nerves one night and got da shit backslapped out her ass.

So my dude Matthew got turned a different color pal & got his neck privileges revoked? Lazy af but not the worst revamp.

You kno that meme: "upgrade, upgrade, FUCK GO BACK!"? Dis pre much sums up Jonathan here. My mans jus looks so dirty here. Looking straight outta da trash bin. Like literally dirty. Nasty ass teeth probably got dat hot ass breath blowing thru them bitches. Das a real fear toxin right there. Long ass black as shit dirty ass hair. Tryna copy off my girl from the ring w dat shit. Need to take dat dirty ass wig and mask and Amish hat tf off my dude. It is not rocking you. Dat whole worn out trashy ass outfit ain't working for you either hoe. You need to take yo ass a bath bitch cus your arms looking brown and ashy as a bitch. You can not even THINK about borrowing anything from me w yo dirty creepy stalker lookin ass. If you don't put down that damn stick like yo ass need help walking and shit I oughtta bitch ya ass with the shit fo going around dressed like dis. Take that damn rope off your neck bitch fo I do something Bruce won't do.

Bruh, you can not go up to my face and tell me these niggas are the same person in the same mofucking universe! Jervis What da fuck did they DO TO YOU MY N**GA?? N**ga looking like a damn leprechaun with special needs and shit. Rocking all dat dookie green swag but you got no swag anymore my dude. It's shit like you clothes and yo breath! Yo shits wasn't perfect and white before but them hoes looking hella worse now. What you get drinking all that damn tea my n**ga. Ol Tiny ass n**ga. Like wot. HOW?! HOW TF DID YO ASS SHRINK??? LIKE SOMEBODY TOSSED YOU ASS IN A LAUNDRY DRYER AND PROBABLY FORGOT TO TAKE YO STUPID ASS OUT. PROBABLY WHY YO HAIR WHITE AND SMALL AS SHIT YA UGLY ASS LUCKY CHARMS LOOKING ASS CRACK FEENY. If you don't hop yo ass back under a rainbow with dem skinny ass broken heel lookin ass tap dancing shoes.

Victor, bruh, they dem did yo ass so dirty in the new adventures. I ain't gonna lie that new suit kinda ok. But you looking like a whole skeleton and shit. Lookin like a young Palpatine & shit. Ol Frisky dingo looking ass! Need to put those goggles back on. The least yo (spoiler) 2003 Baxter Stockman ass can do now.

Yo ass probably looking mad as shit cus ya can't jack it no more n**ga. Dats all gon now. Long with yo unloyal ass wife. How tf she gon bounce on you after everything you did for her? After all the years and bull you had to put up with & she leave yo cold ass for another nibba? Fuck DCAU Nora. Just fuck her.

Scarface lookin like a damn Fanboy & Chum Chum character & his boy over here lookin like Chode. Next.

UUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHGG.

Just. UAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHH. Bruh I will never understand who tf thought this shit was a good idea?! Like who the fuck, was drawing dis nigga. Drew DIS Sus af shit. LOOKED at dis shit. And said to deyself: "Yeah dats da Riddler aight". HELL TO THE NAH DAT AIN'T NO DAMN DAS A (dick) FIDDLER! HE LOOKIN SUS AS FUCK NOW WITH THEM TIGHT AS GREEN SPANDEX AND THAT DARK AS HELL EYELINER. Looking like gay Christmas elf! Looking like a gay ass ballay dancer with them Spider Gwen ballerina shoes. You can't dance for shit nigga! Yo shit is SOOO DAMN TIGHT like I can get a good sight and shape picture of yo "Question mark" I'm telling y'all. sSSSUUUSSSSSSS. Looking like a bigasss lima bean. Skinny ass Jack skeleton moFucka. Like. They did my boy Eddy so freakin dirty with this. My mans had class, style, a nice look, HAIR. Now he. Whateverthelivingfuckdisbaldasspeterpanlookinmofuckasupposestobe. And i hate how that's how he did be lookin in almost every new Batverse when why tho? Nigg(m)a look stupid as hell. How tf he expect to be tooken seriously dressed and lookin like dis ? If I saw dis fucker in real life and he threatens me, imma laugh at his ass and beat him with his cane. Get ya Richard from Allen Gregory looking ass away from me. I can't!

Bruh it don't look that much but they did my mans Harvey dirty too. LOOK AT MY MANS FACE. good half i mean. Yall nigs kno. THESE MUHFUCKERS STRIPPED HIM OF HIS PRETTYNESS! Man. Dis version of Harvey was a pretty muhfucka. You can't deny dat shit

Even when he became Two-Face he still got dat 1 side of pretty.  And that deep af panty soaking voice to go along w it. He dat half and half package. 

Now HE LOOK LIKE DIS

WHOEVER TF DID DIS NEED DEY ASS WHOOPED! SQUARE TF UP NOW. NIGGA LOOKS LIKE EYEBROWLESS VERSION OF DOC FROM SECRET SATURDAYS. FAT ASS BLOCK NOSE MUH FUCKA.  His eye looks like traingle with a Nike logo on top of it. Lookin like a poorly drawn Dwayne The Rock Johnson. And ya other half ain't lookin that good either. Dat 1 eyebrow putting Helga Pataki to shame! I mean the shit didn't look good before but it was somewhat tamed, now the shit looking like full grownass caterpillar. And that lip black as hell. Kno that side dirty as fuuhck!

I don't even know what tf I'm sposed to say about DIS except (kinky..)

Angelica pickles looking ass. Bigass blonde captain coconut looking ass hairstyle. Looking like a blonde creepy ass Wednesday Adams. Dem black as fuck Kim possible lips. She actually looking like a family guy character with that bigass head and small body. I SWEAR she ded looking like one of Stewie's ex's right now my dude! Got  tiny ass flat ass guitar chip shoes. Looks like sis wearing fucking Zippers as shoes. Sis got that "i got something planned fo yo ass" smile. Sis look like she plotting something or did some evil shit already.

. . .

Bros I'm sorry but I'm just as confused as you like. I can't find a single thing different about Harley. Like literally nothing. Her makeup at night be looking blue sometimes, looking like a fakeass Livewire, but nah. They didn't even touch homegirl. Why tf is Harley the only character that stayed the same?????! Niggas was playing favorites. They had plans for that ass since day one. They was probs like: "Aye y'all. DO NOT TOUCH HARLEY. SHE STAYS THE SAME!" "why?" "JUST LISTEN TO ME BITCH!" "Wha bout her mans?" "Oh hell yeah fuck his shit up!" ...sigh.. Yep. It's that time...

UaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHH what else is dere to be said about dis ugly ass nigga? Dis nigga look like Yakko Warner & Freakazoid's love child! Dis nigga look like a random Tiny toons or Animaniac character! With that dookie green shirt and flower. You and Riddler's gay ass both matching them Dexter's laboratory Gloves. Why tf yo eyes eyes black as fuck tho?! How tf does one do that to theyself?! Yo ass probably snorted some shit and ya shits expanded and that's prolly yo pupils with ya cracked out ass. Nigga don't even look like a clown no more. Hell Jared Leto Joker atleast had the lipstick down. Dis nigga got dem ashy ass lips hanging out. Nigga think he owning too. Nigga you don't own shit! Broke as hell now. And yo design broke too. Joker? Man more like Broker. Got dat fairly odd parents hair. Got that Cosmo and Wanda in one. Like bitch if you don't. Just like Riddler i can not take yo animaniac looking ass serious. You do not scare me bitch! Bye!

Now see dis? DIS is Aight! A lot more fitting and & faithful to the character. No over the fucking top redesign, you can actually tell it's the same damn character as before, a little bit of swag for personality

So that's the tea. Ivy & Croc are the only good rogue redesigns in the whole series, evBody else ugly as shit.

[dailydianakko]

Things Nightly Says While Playing Bloodborne

I am incapable of sleep and was listening to Nightly play, hence I made this list without telling her-

[very softly] “awoooo”

“come on motha fucka, come on”

“there’s blood fucking everywhere”

 [little song noises]

 “hey budd-FUCKER STOP IT”

 “that is a lotta death down there”

“i got the pizza cutter”

[singsong voice] “hey there slug lady. did you come from the sky?”

“Fuck this whole sitch”

“What if i just poured all my shit into arcana because OOOOGGGHHHHH”

“Shes such a nice doll”

“Damn”

“How rude”

[chanting] “fuck fuck fuck fuck”

“UUGHHHHOOOOEWCHUWECHUWECHU”

“Fuck you, fuck me, fuck this”

“Come here little boy”

“Gimmie dat blood, gimmie gimmie gimmie”

“I got yo number”

“H-h-hewwow??”

“GNNNNNNNNNNggHHHHH”

“Spider! Spider! FUCK YOU”

“nnnyyyyeoooww”

“Why are they red?”

“i know why they’re red, i lied”

“Bitch”

“i hate this fucking game”

[quiet weepy noises]

“JUUUUAAASSSS spiders”

“They are not weak to fire and they very much want me dead”

“Maybe if i try again- STILL NOT WEAK TO FIRE”

“Ooohhh theyre weak to electricity. everyone knows if u shock a spider it dies”

“Come here bitch”

“NNNNNNNNNNGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

“Reasons i cant have a ‘lets play channel’”

[clenched teeth] “suck my nuts, fucker”

“He killed me”

“Ooohh he had infected organs”

“No, please dont, please, im literally begging you”

[voice cracking] “AAAAAAAAOOUUGHHHH”

“row row row your boat, across the boss arena, merrily merrily merrily merrily, please dont fucking kill me”

“AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUU FUUUUCKKKKKKKKKK”