#FUCK YOU CLYDE

[fraternum-momentum]

Her obedient little mouse.

[justyourtypicalwriter]

Clyde brings a certain “wake up mommy I pissed the bed” vibe to the function that Craig and Tolkien don’t appreciate-

[daylighted]

here lemme give u guys this in case i don’t post anything today

dean & princess today had a tragedy very early on ( didn’t thaw the turkey because “you cook it dontcha? whys it matter?” ) n had to ruefully call sam and say thanksgiving dinner was just gonna be sides.

dean spent the better part of two hours introducing dove to all his favorite sweet treats, which turned into a pie eating contest, which turned into sam lecturing dean for not just breaking into all of the pies prematurely, which turned into an awkwardly silent dinner — if u don’t count dove’s commentary on every single bite she ate as talking

dean & sugar robbed a bank today and poured all of the money they could into as many food kitchens as they could, because everyone deserves hot meals, especially on days when no one considers the people that rely on them ( the rest of the money was spent on bullets and sugar a pretty dress <3 )

bunny cooked something small for dean even through his insistence that he didn’t want anything and it was useless to feed him. so why did you cry when you saw that she was serious hours later silly :/ wbk it’s not bc she did something without burning down the house!

rockstar!jensen made ballet!reader sad by not calling or texting her all day, and when she showed up to confront him, she was met with him in a “f*ck the co*k!” apron and oven mitts on and a whole layout of food because “baby, you think i been ignoring your 20+ texts??? i was tryin to figure out wtf a Roux is!” anyways they fucked on the counter LMAAOAOI

soldier boy & reaper did not celebrate together but did have to do a good morning america! interview & small cooking bit on the talkshow and its quoted to this day, the insults these two grown ass burly ass rough ass men were throwing at each other while wearing frilly red & green “wonderful time of the year <3” aprons over their supe suits

[blackdollette]

the unholy trinity.

[clydesmissingnut]

Gift for a friend

[thetimelordbatgirl]

If Sutekh really has been just chilling in the TARDIS ever since his defeat back in Fourth Doctor era, he really went through a brief awkward family reunion in Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith, huh?

[chaotic-fandom-hoarder]

Mom said it’s my turn on the writing

Police sirens are not abnormal to Clyde. It has gotten the cops called on it many times, often because someone would see it lurking on rooftops and call the police because they don’t know how else to react.

It’s never a big deal though, all it has to do is run until it’s out of sight and climb a tree or rooftop. It’s faster than most humans after all, and none of them ever look up.

But something’s off this time. It can’t explain why, but there’s something wrong. Something horribly wrong.

Clyde follows the sound of sirens and roaring engines. They usually only go this fast at night when the cops are after Clyde itself, but these ones are clearly not looking for it. These paths are starting to get familiar. The sounds lead it towards a familiar house. The cop cars halt directly outside… Alex’s house.

Oh hell no. Not happening.

Clyde runs, slinking just barely out of sight before jumping the fence and hauling across Alex’s backyard. It finds their bedroom window (the only one with a broken lock, Clyde has used this entrance many times to ask for a sandwich) and throws it open.

Clyde hurtles headfirst into the bedroom and starts shaking Alex, who is still in bed.

“Sandwich Man, wake up! Get up, come on!”

Alex blearily blinks themself awake, with the first thing they see being the six foot tall veldigun who is totally only doing this for practical reasons.

“Wha- Clyde, what’s going on?”

“They’re coming after you! We gotta go, now!”

“They- what?!?”

Someone started pounding at the front door before Alex could ask anything else. Their eyes widened, and they immediately jumped out of bed and beelined for the closet. They hurriedly pulled out a backpack, already looking full.

Clyde opens the window wider so that the human can get through, and Alex slings the bag onto their back.

Clyde slips through, Alex following close behind. They both break into a run, just as Clyde hears the sound of the front door being forced open.

It’s a sprint for their lives, both of them bolting before they get noticed. (Clyde has no stake in this, it’ll be fine either way, why does it even care about a human?- Not important.)

Hop the fence, across this field- there. A small thicket of trees, far enough away from anyone searching for a human. Leading the way, Clyde scrambles up one of the trees like a demented squirrel, tail flicking out to grab Alex by the backpack and pull them up alongside it.

Clyde settles onto a tree branch like a cat on a fencepost. Alex heaves themself up next to it, breathing heavily. They both sit up there, looking down at Alex’s house in the distance.

Or, is it Alex’s anymore? There has to be at least four cop cars out there by now, and Clyde can see the figures of police officers scoping around the outside. They’re probably inside by now too.

Clyde chuckles breathlessly.

“Well! That was something!” Clyde grins, slipping back into the unaffected-veldigun persona. “What did you even do to get them to-“ Clyde trails off, smile slipping away again.

Alex isn’t just breathing hard from the running, they’re shaking slightly, and- is that a tear?

Shit, they’re crying.

“…my fucking house.” Alex wipes their eyes with their sleeve. “I- I didn’t even do anything, and they just…” They exhale, gripping the branch underneath them hard enough that their knuckles are white. “I knew something would happen at some point, but… still!” They say, staring at the house that they’re probably not going to be able to go back to.

Clyde sits next to them, frowning. It lifts up a hand, hesitates, and then very carefully pats them on the back, not touching any skin.

The pair is going to have to get moving soon, and find somewhere further from the house, where the police are less likely to search. They’re going to need to find out what to do next, where to go and if they have anyone else to turn to.

But for now, the human and the veldigun are sitting on a tree branch, watching the red and blue lights below.

[sp-the-list-tournament]

Do you think Clyde lovers are gonna match the energy from the first round?

I hope so.

That loser deserves we world with no effort from his behalf.

[wannabe-minion-of-chaos]

For a stick of truth au, consider

Craig/Feldspar being the one to have stolen the stick and brought back Clyde from being banished from space and time in the first place

(also I'm elaborating in tags again)

[doodle-girl]

Keep forgetting to post this one! This took me genuine hours and I guarantee you that at minimum a quarter of the time spent there was on the damn teeth ✌️ Really proud of how this whole thing turned out, tho!!! (Also click for better quality because it’s tumblr)

[butwhatifidothis]

Still baffled that Hopes so blatantly wrote Claude as the typical Evil Vaguely Middle Eastern Man set on destroying the Good White Nation for his Evil Vaguely Middle Eastern Nation that is often seen in fantasy settings - complete with him being seen as worse than a white woman who does many of the same evil deeds he does in-verse, even by his friends (should it be the bad ending route of SB) - and so many in the fandom were so eager to gobble that shit up. INSIST that "Clearly A Racist Stereotype" is LEAGUES better than "Subversion Of A Racist Stereotype" even. Like I don't think I'll ever get over how supremely fucked that is

[luxury-nightmare]

mom says it’s my turn on the writing

Based on a conversation I had with @silver-tooth-the-panther about my Alex design needing to preen their wings.

Alex felt, greasy, like they hadn’t showered in days. Technically they hadn’t, but this wasn’t their hair. They didn’t really know how their hair worked with the eyes and all that.

No, this was their wings,

They felt greasy and wrong, their new feathers rubbing against each other in an uncomfortable way. They had vaguely heard of birds needing to preen their wings, but they had literally no idea how to. Human-sized wings are not naturally occurring on any animals besides the veldigun (and the velidgun were hardly natural from what Clyde and Winfrey had told them) and Alex had no idea how birds preen their wings anyway.

Alex flopped over in vague defeat. This was going to be a long day.

—————————————

Alex understood why Clyde had been so reckless with its first break in.

They had crashed into the desk, falling though the window with the grace of a giraffe with broken legs. They closed the window behind them, and made their way through the library.

Honestly, they had never been more grateful that veldigun had night vision.

They couldn’t really go for the computers, they were to loud and the night guard would absolutely catch them if they tried to look anything up, so they just grabbed a couple books on pet care for birds and made their way back through the window.

They’d return the books later.

(They didn’t)

—————————————

Simon was, a bit concerned about Alex.

They had been watching the flock for nearly an hour now, completely still as the flock preened its goopy feathers. “Clyde” they whispered hoarsely “what are they doing?”

Clyde turned to the scarecrow, then to their partner, then back to Simon. “Oh their trying to learn to preen their feathers”

Simon turned to it in confusion “what?”

Clyde shrugged “well they got wings from their transformation, and they don’t know how to preen them. The Flock was the only velidgun with wings that we know of, so they’ve just been watching it”

Simon blinked a couple time “they could’ve just asked me?” Clyde stretched before leaning back on the side of the barn. “I didn’t expect you to pay that much attention to the flocks preening. Then again, it’s is your partner-“

“No that not what I-“ they sighed, and turned to Clyde “I have wings. I could’ve taught them if they asked.”

Clyde looked at them with utter confusion “you have wings?”

Simon looked at Clyde with a deadpan expression, before unfurling their own wings, lined with black feathers mirroring their partner’s.

“Since when have you had those?” Clyde asked, pointing dumbfounded the It’s fellow veldigun.

“Clyde, you need to talk to people”

[southconfessionpark]

What if Fanon Kyle with his big dumptruck derriere encountered Randy as Lorde and they had a twerk off

[cat-brrr]

I like this one

[clydesmissingnut]

OKAY

time to infect them with the furry virus ,EVERYONE MAKES JIMMY A WOLF OR HYENA ...IMMA BE SPECIAL

But I cant decide ... so I need assistance

[thetimelordbatgirl]

I really wonder how Trickster feels at this point as the only member of his family whose only encounters with the Doctor had been via a beetle whose time meddling led to the Doctor's death briefly only to be defeated by Donna Noble and the timeline undone and via the wedding of former companion Sarah Jane, only to be defeated once more not by the Doctor again but instead, Sarah Jane and her kids (again in their case lol) alongside the latest pawn of his to go fuck you and take back the deal with him.