#FUCK MY SHITTY COMPUTER
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There are things out there that our little minds will never comprehend.
DARK (2017-2020)
#my gifs#forcing people to watch this show by gifing scenes you cant even begin to understand the context of leaving you no choice but to watch#i am literally on my knees begging you to watch this if you havent#this is my roman empire#as always these look infinitely better on my computer than my shitty old phone so im just gonna have to hope that you guys have good phones#or are on your computers#dark#dark netflix#jonas kahnwald#tvedit#scifiedit#darkedit#dailyflicks#usergreta#plz tell me theres still a big enough fandom for this to get notes#there must be bc i cannot fucking imagine watching this show and then just moving on#color set
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locked in for once in my stupid chungus life to draw these freaks
#afraid of monsters#david leatherhoff#aomcof#cofaom#certified globster post#this was originally gonna just be doodles i got carried away#i am absolutely gatekeeping where those lyrics came from thats my shitty music for me and 3 other people on earth only#i will notice 20 million mistakes in this 10 seconds after posting and dislike it immediately trust#i been at my computer for like 4+ hrs doing this bullshit listening to the same album on loop. no more. no fucking more
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👁 EYES ↑ UP ↑ HERE 👁
no text vers:
#my art lol#utauloid fanart#utau fanart#utau#utauloid#yokune ruko#ruko yokune#body horror tw#eyes tw#??? does this need more warnings? idk man im sorry 😭#anyways if you know the context you know 😌#keeping the tags short bc i REALLYYY need to focus ugh. but i snapped since i hadn't drawn in so long and eventually did this#i did the original sketch on a napkin fucking lmaooo. and then i did most of the lineart n colors on ibispaint on my phone (bc desperate)#but then eventually exported the psd and transferred it over to computer bc i got pissed at shitty phone screen and stuff. so ya#my face when i know my grades will suffer bc i chose happiness for once: 😺#WHY DO I ALWAYS GET MY BEST IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY AS HELL FUCKKKKKKK. im so overwhelmed its not funny my brain needs to SHUT UPPP#posting this during work so we're not doing any better LMAO 💀💀💀
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Downloading clangen to my computer is a pain in my ass omg. It is doing the "OWO WHERE IS THE EXE. FILE OWO IDK MAN OWO" thing.
yes. yes I have checked the discord and tried following the instructions MANY TIMES but MY COMPUTER REALLY REALLY HATES THESE PIXEL CATS LMAO
LIKE AT THIS POINT IT IS KINDA FUNNY
LIKE. LIKE IT KEEPS SAYING "this is a virus" BUT THEN WHEN I GO TO THE ANTIVIRUS HISTORY THING MY COMPUTER HAS THE NERVE TO SAY THAT IT HASNT DONE ANYTHING LIKE YES YOU DID WHERE ARE MY CATS
#trying again at some point#but like#it is funny lmaoooo fucking shitty computer#I JUST WANT THE CATS#I will have to take my pair to a video call and try again with him#clangen#i miss you clangen
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scanned some pages from a few of my sketchbooks from this year and made a little pdf
you can get it free on kofi!
#the art of a lemon wedge#youve probably already seen most these pages but this time its actually scanned and not just a shitty photo from my phone lol#i was feeling a little down since this i hadnt drawn as much this year#at least not as many finished pieces to post#cause my hand was too fucked to use my computer at the beginning of the year#and the lose of my friend in the middle of the year#my mental health has been ABYSMAL#and yet#ive used my physical sketchbook when i could#and i DID want to continue putting together pdfs every year#so as a little reminder to myself#HERE I AM BABY
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haven't posted pics yet bc as u can see my place is an absolute mess but look at. my green couch and orange cat :-) color theowy
#my eink phone takes charmingly shitty pics and seeing them in color on my computer is always a delight#best of both worlds in between digital and analog :-)#norman fucking roswell#apartiment
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#best buy fucked up the backup of my old files and only backed up the thumbnails for my blender projects on my work computer??#so heres uhh shitty subd furby#at least it was just my work computer. if i lost my home computer with all my mods i would lose it that would break me.#furby
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I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life
#like that's the point where we need to remind everyone around me that as much as I say#radio is 'a job'-- it's not 'my job' lol. I wish I was this interested in data science#but like. Honestly?? I'm not even a data scientist!? I answered a few questions about classical AI having come from a computer science back#background and now people are saying to me 'I know you're a data scientist and not a programmer' sir I am a computer scientist#what are you on about#and like I guess I get to google things and they're paying me so I'm not complaining but like I am not a data scientist#my biggest data scientist moment was when I asked 'do things in data science ever make sense???' and a bunch of data scientists went#'no :) Welcome to the club' ???????#why did I do a whole ass computer science degree then. Does anyone at all even want that anymore. Has everything in the realm of#computer science just been Solved. What of all the problems I learned and researched about. Which were cool. Are they just dead#Ugh the worst thing the AI hype has done rn is it has genuinely required everyone to pretend they're a data scientist#even MORE than before. I hate this#anyway; I wish I didn't hate it and I was curious and talked to many people in the field#like it's tragicomedy when every person I meet in music is like 'you've got to pursue this man you're a great interviewer blah blah blah'#and like I appreciate that this is coming from people who themselves have/are taking a chance on life#but. I kinda feel like my career does not exist anymore realistically so unless 1) commercial radio gets less shitty FAST#2) media companies that are laying off 50% of their staff miraculously stop or 3) Tom Power is suddenly feeling generous and wants#a completely unknown idiot to step into the biggest fucking culture show in the country (that I am in no way qualified for)#yeah there's very very little else. There's nothing else lol#Our country does not hype. They don't really care for who you are. f you make a decent connection with them musically they will come to you#Canada does not make heroes out of its talent. They will not be putting money into any of that. Greenlight in your dreams.#this is something I've been told (and seen) multiple times. We'll see it next week-- there are Olympic medallists returning to uni next wee#no one cares: the phrase is 'America makes celebrities out of their sportspeople'; we do not. Replace sportspeople with any public professi#Canada does not care for press about their musicians. The only reason NME sold here was because Anglophilia not because of music journalism#anyway; personal
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with the whole ao3 data scraping, i've bit the bullet and made the executive decision to lock all my ao3 fics
From now on, you'll need an ao3 account to read any of my fics. ao3 accounts are free but, from my knowledge, it'll take about a week before you get your invite for the account. I know a bunch of people are making their works private now because of ai nonsense so I'd recommend getting an account as soon as you can if you want to continue reading fic on ao3 without interruption (Plus, you can bookmark stuff so much easier and get email notifs for fics you wanna follow!!)
I really don't like how I have to do this but i don't want my works used to train ai. I'd love to continue having my fics out there for you guys, but i simply can't risk it. I may look through alternatives for sharing works through offline files and such but I don't currently have any options
thanks so much for understanding !!
#FUCK AI#words cannot portray how much i despise it being used in a creative field#i don't want a COMPUTER using my hard work and delusions for their shitty programs#i am such a big ai hater you should know this by now#and i am so sorry that i have to do this to protect my OWN writing#kitkatrambles#fanfiction
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ouururuggh
#gonna hvae to live with shitty headphones and earbuds for a while#iouueueugh#until i can get a pair of Not shitty headphones#because my dad wont get any for me#AND THE ADAPTER I HAVE!! IS CERTAINLY ALSO A PROBLEM#AND THE COMPUTER I HAVE MIGHT ALSO JUST BE SHIT#GIRL EVERYTHING I OWN IS FALLING APART PLEASE FUCKING HKELP#ratmouse sorrows
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wanted to do the ArtvsArtist2023
I use a lot of red for someone who isn't a fan of it 🥴. Im always trying not to use it, but it's just too damn good for contrast 😩🤏
This really was the year of drawing lot of zelda stuff, but mostly ganondorf, I could easily fill this with only ganondorf images haha
Also this year I finally got my tablet (with screen and shit) and man, I love it.
#man my shoulders are really fucking misaligned#I was told by the doctor the other day#but I didn't really noticed it until that photo XD#I guess it is because of the amount of hours I spend on the computer using the mouse and tablet 🤔#and my shitty posture in general
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bro i tried out hifisampler by plugging in some untuned whatever in my old fruityloops files and this shit is crazy. hello Hagane Hey (volume warning: the utau).
#vocal synth wip#? i should make a tag for 'vocal synth just fucking around' LOL this isnt a wip its a plugnplay <3#i like the sound of this resampler a lot! it makes my computer scream tho LOL#like DAMN usually my computer is pretty fine with neural stuff but this thing is like back when i was using tips on my old laptop#it CHUGS. but it sounds really nice <3 especially with my beloved monopitch wonders#NOW it doesnt seem to support any flags? which is a big shame - 99% of my tuning is flag/parameter shit LOL#but its so nice sounding that i dont mind that much. very curious to watch this resampler going forward!#its a little painful to install. but not too painful! but a little painful. also its LARGE#it like killed our internet downloading it for a second there hfjskhfsjgdkfsd#but very cool resampler! it also sounds really nice with my really shitty self utau i made earlier LOL#im glad to know even my failed homunculus sounds good with it!#but back to Hey.... i should use him more. hes so funny. 1 pitch and its only yelling <3 awesome
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havent been on the computer much all weekend because i've been dealing with some eye strain but i'm experiencing newmann withdrawal so. time to try printing out one of my fics and editing on paper i guess
#eye strain is a result of Computers Job i suspect#dunno what im gonna do at work tomorrow but im hoping if i do some eye stretches every half hour or so#and adjust my computer settings to be gentler on the eyeballs#ill be fine#was also dealing with a shitty monitor situation last week b/c my desk isnt suuuper well set up yet but that should be fixed tomorrow#if im really having issues i can probably reduce my hours this week#anyway. i picked a short fic to print out but. oh my god whys it so many pages#was gonna do mana screw but it's like 47 r.i.p#this is a little one i rediscovered in my drafts thats like 2k#working title is Crane Game#and it's still nine fucking pages#like if you ask me how much a page double spaced is i know it's roughly 250 words. but somehow this still seems unfair#im too used to digital formats from reading ebooks and fic all the time. why writing so big#dunno how editing on paper is going to be but we're gonna give it a go
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Wait you like Madness Combat AND Epic the Musical too? Do you get any cooler...
I HAVE QUITE A FEW INTERESTS YES.... HELLO ANON.... HI.... SO GLAD YOU THINK IM COOL ^_^
#ive liked madcom for like.5 years of my life i fear#its a sleeper interest itll just resurface every once and a while#STILL need to play mpn.... i tried ages ago w my shitty computer. failed. gave up. gotta buy it now#its my goallll to play it however. i wanna see my fucked up guy [crackpot] [also stygian]#and also EPIC !!! I LOOOVE ETM.... its so very dear to me#i think i picked it up right whennnn ocean saga released?#give or take i mean#and ive been following it ever since....#i never posted abt it simply bc i never realized it had an active fanbase over here LMAO but trust i do love etm#most of my playlists have songs from it on them now bc im . normal i fear#kitkat chitchat
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If there was some sort of overstimulation beam I actually would use it. I think some people would benefit from knowing what it's like to be overstimulated. Maybe for like. 10 hours. And then they get to go home and have their family laugh at them and call them dramatic and fussy because they're a little stompy and want some time alone to cry after being on edge for 10 hours. And maybe they'll think "holy shit THAT'S what that person was going through???"
#idk i just#today was really really rough ON TOP OF the whole being overstimulated for 10 hours#like. I get paid minimum wage and I fell into a dumpster today because I was told I'd be written up if I didn't push the trash down#and there was a live rat in the dumpster already#and then I stuttered when I was talking to a customer and he made fun of me for it#full on mock imitation while his friends laughed#and then he LIED to my manager when she asked what happened trying to get me in trouble#all because he didn't like the fact that i couldn't apply a sale to his stuff because he didn't spend enough#sir the register is a computer it's not something i can override#and then i slipped outside on break and my back tightened up#and I haven't eaten in 24 hours#and my family is laughing at me and making fun of the fact that i haven't finished college yet#and also the fact that I can't afford to pay for my classes#because i work a shitty job that doesn't pay me enough#not to mention my coworkers can be so fucking. idle#i told some of them to shut up earlier because I couldn't hear my other coworker yelling out the orders#of course the speaker at max volume didn't help#I can only tune out so much#okay im done#vent post
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Old art, new format!
Made a paint by numbers for myself to keep track of which colour goes where because I know I would have messed it up otherwise.
Fun to see how this turns out.... I custom mixed the blues. I think 2 and 3 may end up being too similar, but it should still get the effect I wanted for the most part.
#new hobbies are so good and there is still so much to learn and I am trying different things every time#do i hate that my new hobby costs more money than no hobby? and all the fucking guilt and stuff that comes with#spending money on myself? yeah pretty much yeah its why i never feel bad about digital art because#i would still be using the computer and internet anyway so aside from the tablet cost almost a decade ago this is#basically free for me so like idk idk physical hobbies are so good but physical goods make me feel sick#because of the fucking world we live in and the way i was raised so like i am really#struggling here but what are ya gonna do eh? trying to push all this away because processing it has only looped it#so we get a lovely post and the mother of all fucking shitty tag talks afterwards :) :(
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