#FOREVER IN LOVE WITH MY SINGING COWBOY AU

[mushtoons]

i just want a cowgirl for christmas

[kedsandtubesocks]

dance away your cowboy blues

Country Singer!Joel Miller x F!Reader

summary: who knew the man with the voice of an angel could break your heart this bad?

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, modern/no outbreak AU & Joel has both his daughters, exes to lovers with eventual husband!Joel, angst followed up by good sweet fluff, concert venue, light drinking mention, Joel being stubborn & bad at feelings, hints of spice, fools in love, reader is addressed as ‘honey, darlin,’ use of song lyrics in fic, Pearl Jam & Taylor Swift song mentions, soft & heartbroken!Joel, lovesick!Joel

word count: 6k

a/n: here we are - the last installment in our ‘Let’s Rodeo’ series & I’m so incredibly grateful to finally make it here, also this is my mini tribute to our boy and his SAG award! The main song Joel sings is this one and I highly recommend! Thank you to my forever babe @the-wild-wolves-around-you for letting me scream about plot holes & aiding my Joel brainrot, @tightjeansjavi for always being down to chat about Joel, and to @lowlights & @ahauntedcowboy for being my ever guiding forces for this series, thank you all… And finally to you reading this, thank you so much ♡

A year ago, Joel broke up with you on a warm early spring morning.

He arrived at your apartment, sat you down and shattered your world. You felt every range of emotion as he simply stood there like a man of steel.

So upset and angry, you wanted to rip your heart out and throw it at him.

Then later that week you found out his record was officially getting picked up and you crumbled.

Ending your relationship simply because he was about to step into true proper fame - you never took Joel to be a man so somberly callous. However, you began wondering if that’s what fame sometimes did to people.

When curiosity gnawed too hard, you’d Google him or even check Spotify. Simply catching glimpses of how big he’s gotten sent you spiraling. Last Thanksgiving, your favorite aunt threatened to lock your phone away when she found you upset in the bathroom after discovering Joel was performing at the Dallas Cowboys holiday game.

From that point on you refused to even check any amount of social media or update on him.

A few clunky first dates and a couple of ghosting experiences later, you’ve now decided to simply work on yourself and embrace the selfcare of being single.

It’s why when your best friend called you earlier today eagerly explaining how her parents had extra tickets to the Rodeo tonight, she playfully teased how she knew you didn’t have anything planned for this Saturday night.

You almost hung up on her, but you excitedly scrambled to get ready.

Now the smell of fried foods, popcorn, and beer cloud the air. The fairgrounds hold a chaotic but controlled lively energy. You never knew so many cowboy hats could exist in one space.

Once you meet up with your best friends' parents, you’re transported to a whole new area you never believed could exist during a rodeo. Lux and cozy, the VIP lounge gleams with its elevated experience. You knew your best friend’s mom worked for the construction company managing the arena. You just didn’t realize how big of a hookup it was. The VIP tickets allowed for full premium dining along with a couple of free drinks.

More importantly - it came with the best concert seats.

“In the dirt” is how they’re described because the tickets are literally stationed on the floor, in the dirt of the rodeo stadium, right by the stage.

Ecstatic and bubby energy now fills you. The food being served is divine and you gladly enjoy the free various drinks.

“So wait, did we figure out who’s performing?” You ask curiously while you lounge taking advantage of the nice seating area.

“Uh, I think my dad said it’s that band named Midland is performing today.” Your friend answers but then is quickly pulled away to meet more of her mom’s coworkers.

You’ve never heard of the band, but for a free concert you’re open to enjoy some live music.

It’s a trait you gained from Joel.

Because of him you grew to love music performances, the energy that comes with hearing the band, being among the hum of the crowd. The trips around Austin seeing not just him perform, but enjoying other concerts with him, let you appreciate and admire live shows.

Waiting for the concert allows you to enjoy some of the actual rodeo event. But the main performance of the evening soon arrives.

“You kids go enjoy! We’re getting a little too old and are just gonna stay back and enjoy the free food.” Your best friend’s mom grins with a wink.

The ticket advertisement wasn’t joking when it said close to the stage. The ground level truly sits on the dirt floor. The arena swallows you whole surrounding you like a strange fishbowl. A small crowd already lines the front railing closest to the stage. However sneakily you find a nice open spot by the side that gives a clear sight to the stage.

Even if you don’t know the band, giddiness bubbles in you electric.

You take in the massive general admission floor section already packed full. The band must be popular. So you take plenty of pictures and happily enjoy the time with your dear friend.

The lights dim and excitement crackles in the air. The stage lights up. The large backdrop screens on the stage flutter to life beginning to showcase different picturesque black and white shots of Texas.

Midland, you remember, is a city in Texas so the images make sense. A low strum of a guitar begins playing. The melody dances soft but in a quick beat, a hypnotic tune trying to rev up the crowd.

The tune brews up its intended magic that you even get swept up in the anticipation. The sound gets faster and the strumming is rather simple but so striking.

Then the music stops. Suddenly the lights of the entire stadium shut off. Wild galvanized screams erupt.

The lights brilliantly dance forth back to light. They all focus now on the performer who, like magic, now appears on the stage with the rest of the band.

And the lead singer is Joel.

Your knees almost give out.

Dressed in the most dangerous plaid green button up, it so simple yet beautifully compliments him. More grays pepper his beard and highlight his tousled curls. The brilliant stage lights bask him in a heavenly glow.

Your soul momentarily leaves your body the minute his voice sings his first note.

Instantly your best friend whips towards you panicked. She rapidly screams asking if you’re okay as she apologizes over and over.

“My dad must have gotten the dates wrong! God I should’ve fucking doubled checked or some shit!” She cries deeply apologetic and hurt.

You earnestly tell her it’s not her fault and it’s alright. It was just an unfortunate mixup.

“Do you wanna leave?” Your friend leans closer to you. Her eyes shine understanding and considerate. “We didn’t pay for these tickets and I promise you my parents will completely understand. We can say fuck it and bounce.”

You haven’t even completely processed it’s Joel. It’s like your brain went cloudy and now blinking out of the fog, your eyes return to the stage.

Joel isn’t an extroverted man. He’s reserved, quietly charming, even holds a gruff but poised grace. But right now, he’s an absolute sun on the stage. He’s radiant, naturally swaying to the music while singing his soul soul.

Maybe it’s the piece of you still horribly in love with him, or just the curiosity to see how this goes, whatever it is - you shake your head no.

“We can stay.”

Your best friend’s eyes go wide as saucers hearing your answer.

“Are you sure?” She presses and you nod your head.

“Yeah, let’s stay. Afterwards we can laugh about how old he’s gotten.” You laugh bitterly about him looking more aged even after a year.

When truthfully the stronger wrinkles around his face, the vibrant grays, all of his aging only intensifies his striking looks.

A canyon wide sized hole rips through your heart.

The song flutters to an end and the crowd claps with a thunderous roar. With a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder your dear friend nods then turns back to the concert.

You pray this isn’t the worst decision you’ve ever made.

Then Joel speaks.

“Howdy everyone,” his voice is still so devilishly thick and smooth as a shot of moonshine. His accent does his home state proud. The crowd absolutely adores him, screaming loud just hearing him speak.

“Thank y'all for comin’ out tonight. I’m Joel Miller and m’here to sing y’all a few songs.” So simple, casually eased, and it’s so Joel.

His gruff southern charm made you fall in love with him so fast and now it’s a unique brand of magic charming everyone under his spell.

Joel strums a few notes, rapidly shifting the tune and transitions into the next song.

You now fully soak in Joel.

He seems otherworldly, a god of music reincarnated as a Texan cowboy. You think back to the days sitting in his living room and listening to him play. You were honored to see that side of him, to hear him strum to life so much magic.

During the holiday’s Joel’s daughters, Ellie and Sarah, would often pester him to sing silly songs. He’d grumpily obliged but you knew he basked in their attention and love.

He loved to sing. You always knew he was destined for the stage like it was woven into his veins.

You still remember the day one of Joel’s acoustic performances blew up online gaining so much attention. The excitement and absolute joy you felt then still lingers in the corners of your heart. Although, those feelings have been gathering cobwebs.

There’s of course a bitterness seeing him, but also, an unbearably small twinkling pride knowing he’s here living his dream. The song finishes and again the stadium rumbles in applause.

“How y’all doin’ tonight?” Joel asks and your heart jumps hearing his voice again.

The crowd cheers back at him.

“Good good, let’s keep it goin’.” He yells back and then strums the guitar sharp.

That’s when the stage slowly starts moving.

It’s slow but with the surprise purpose to look out to the entire crowd. For some reason you almost laugh thinking of that man, who couldn’t even remember how to FaceTime on his ipad, on a full rotating platform.

However, the lyrics start and you realize he’s singing a heartbreak ballad.

If you’re going out with someone new, I’m going out with someone too…I won’t feel sorry for me, I’m getting drunk but I’d much rather be somewhere with you…

It’s hard hearing him now with how exhilarated the crowd screams at the stage moving. But you try to hear how the rest of the song unfolds.

At the chorus, your throat tightens.

I can go out every night of the week, can go home with anybody I meet, but it’s just a temporary high… ‘cause when I close my eyes, I’m somewhere with you

The words sting every inch of you, but you believe it has to be just a simple heartbreak story and isn’t about you, isn’t directed at you. Yet the words feel like sharpened edges of a broken mirror that seem to reflect every moment of your time with him.

Then the stage rotates to your side of the floor.

There’s no way he can see you or will even spot you. There’s a whole crowd stretching before him. You’re just a fish in a sea of fans.

Joel continues strumming, allowing his voice to so beautifully carry the emotion.

The stage, in its slow movement, is now front and center to your line of sight. Some girls at the very direct front of the railing scream and wave frantically at him.

A small smile tugs at Joel’s lips as he waves back. Joel’s eyes scan the rest of the crowd -

And that’s when he spots you.

Quickly, you rationalize he could be staring out behind you at someone else alongside the side railing.

But Joel’s eyes even narrow trying to focus more. Your gaze stays on him, like something inside of you refuses to waiver.

His eyes flicker with realization then turn into full moons.

He knows it’s you.

Joel continues singing the chorus but emotions cloud his face. His brows are furrowed hard, almost confused like he’s trying to really comprehend what’s going on.

You understand. You’d be so confused too if you were in his position. You’re still even baffled as to why you stayed in the first place.

The stage starts shifting back to the main center direction

But Joel cranes his face to the side, refusing to have his eyes leave.

His focus stays on you.

It’s obvious enough that your best friend now shakes your body.

“Is he staring at you?!” She tries to whisper but she ends up partly screaming.

You think maybe it’s a hallucination.

Yet Joel’s deep inky eyes stubbornly stay locked on you as he sings now.

If you see out on the town and it looks like I’m burning it down, you won’t ask and I won’t say… but in my heart I’m always somewhere with you…

Your world twists warped, melting into a sea of so many emotions you can’t stay afloat.

Joel finishes his song and the crowd enthusiastically cheers. Yet, it sounds muffled as a numbness crawls over you like a thick soupy fog.

You should leave. You need to. But you’re here now. And decide to see the end of this. If he’s singing about someone lingering within him, then you might as well make true to those lyrics.

Joel lowers his face for a moment and shakes his head. The mic faintly picks up his cough of a disbelieving laugh and your heart sinks.

“Alright folks, let’s jam.” He announces composed and brings his guitar to life.

He’s beautiful walking around with it. Strums effortlessly until he shifts from one guitar, his classic, to a more sleek all black styled one.

Joel lets the music and band take over while he makes the switch. He also leans in to whisper something to the stage hand.

Then as if nothing, Joel steps back into the limelight and illuminates the stage.

He walks around freely now that the stage stopped rotating. The current song is lively with a great beat and you hate how badly you want to bounce around to its infectious sound and the way Joel’s voice elevates the tune.

Caught up in the melody, you don’t notice until it’s too late. Joel walks over to the side of the stage directly facing you.

The guitar carries a large piece of this song’s bridge allowing his eyes to flicker across the crowd.

Until they return to your gaze. Stuck in his stare, Joel suddenly cocks his chin towards you.

Most of the crowd around you screams at his simple action. Even your best friend yells out a loud ‘holy shit’ but you stay quiet.

Not knowing how to react, all you do is stupidly shrug.

It’s awful, not even the best reaction you can give.

But Joel barks a laugh, a true laugh that thankfully happens at the tail end of the song, but your knees go weak.

You made him laugh.

On stage.

Heartache finds its way back into your system fiercer than ever and it poisonously tastes of adoration as well.

Joel transitions into another song. This time moving around the stage more towards the other side.

Yet, either his eyes flicker back to you, or he ends up walking to your section.

A part of you wonders if he’s doing this now to mock you, almost showing off how good he is knowing you’re here. You don’t believe Joel would be that heartless, but you hate how that option still lingers.

“He’s been walking over here a lot.” Someone even behind you even notices.

“Well he is old.” Someone yells back. “Maybe he’s just trying to keep his joints in shape.”

You almost want to snap back that he’s looking damn good for his age and in good enough shape that he kept you bent like a pretzel for practically a whole weekend, but you swallow back the protective bite.

You simply go back to enjoying the show, and it’s fantastic. You can’t deny that. Joel is a performer, keeps the crowd focused and engaged. He isn’t showy or dramatic but takes control of his presence on stage.

You think of the days seeing him at small bars around town, sitting on a stool playing till his heart's content.

Then he booked Stubb’s in Austin and when you watched him own that stage - you knew this was meant for him.

You’re reminded of that so vividly tonight.

“Alright, gettin’ to the end here.” He announces and the crowd sounds heartbroken.

“I know, i know,” he coos back soft and low. “But just wanted to say y’all have been lovely.”

So many shrill shrieks crack in the room and you almost roll your eyes.

Your best friend snickers beside you. “Gotta give it to him, man can work a room.”

She’s right of course. Though it’s still so surprising for a man grumpily reserved and introverted at times.

“This next one I hope maybe some of y’all will know.”

He strums the cords to Pearl Jam’s ‘Alive.’

What gained Joel traction online was his renditions and covers of various songs. He added his own country twang and twist to all the songs he covered.

Pearl Jam happened to be one of Ellie’s favorite bands. A hollow nostalgia rip through you, thinking of the two girls you miss.

The crowd ignites recognizing the familiar rock ballad now turned into the tune of a country song by Joel’s touch. He owns the solo and his husky voice melts into the lyrics beautifully.

Under your breath you sing along. You used to sing along when you cooked breakfast at his place or during drives with him and the girls.

It’s a beautiful fondness, yet one still barbed and so aching.

The song ends with the intense but small burst of fireworks that has the stadium cheering. You even clap.

“Appreciate y’all.” He addresses the crowd. “That’s a one of my daughter’s favorites so always means a lot when I get to play it.”

A smile you can’t fight tugs at your lips at the mention of Ellie.

“Now my daughters, they’re like night ‘n day.” Joel continues and your heart fills up so overwhelming fast for those girls.

“One of them, like I said, loves some Pearl Jam. Now my other daughter…” Joel pauses.

“She’s a big fan of someone by the name of Taylor Swift.”

The crowd absolutely explodes and you think you even feel the arena shake. Sarah honestly was a big fan and Ellie loved to tease her about it so much.

“Normally for this next and final song, I’d play ‘‘shake it off.’” Joel had a few songs of hers that he covered. That one was a fan favorite.

“But tonight, I'm itchin’ to play somethin’ else.” He continues.

You even perk up curious.

“So let’s end this on a high note, yeah? Sing along if you know this one.” Joel concludes.

Then the drums begin and the song bursts to life.

The stadium swims in a dizzying frantic energy.

The way Joel sings, he’s pouring his heart out. He’s memorizing. Utterly heart wrenching.

This is the finale, the end of this strange unreal dream you’ve wandered into. You wonder if he feels it too.

The song’s chilling bridge comes and Joel walks to stare directly at you.

I thought I had you figured out, can’t breathe whenever you’re gone. Can't turn back now, I'm haunted…

His eyes never leave yours.

The lyrics sear through your heart. You think about screaming the song to back him. He’s the one who left, the one who’s ghost lives among your ribs.

Then Joel hits the final high note, lets his voice carry the powerful finale, and the crowd roars in earth shaking excitement.

It’s magical, magnetic and utterly devastating in both the best and worst ways. Another few sets of indoor fireworks go off and the show ends.

Joel wishes the crowd a beautiful night and you’re left in a tangled web of emotions.

Your best friend immediately turns to see if you’re okay. While the crowd starts leaving, you and her take a moment. Out of the edge of your focus, you notice a crew member of the arena approaching the side of the rail. You don’t think anything of it.

“Excuse me,” until that crew member stands in front of you on the other side of the barrier.

Blinking absolutely confused you turn towards the man.

“I’ve been asked to escort you backstage.” He explains and your best friend gasps.

You wonder if the ground opened below and dropped you into a free fall.

Quickly you stammer out that you couldn’t. There's no way. Maybe the man must’ve mistaken you for someone else.

“Mr. Miller said you’d say something like that.” The crew member says reaching into his pocket to hand you something.

It’s a keychain.

Not just any keychain, but the one you gave Joel.

It’s a cartoon armadillo, dressed up as a cowboy, holding a guitar. When you first saw it you immediately thought of Joel. His daughters got a kick over it, giggled at how cute it was, and your heart had bursted when you saw it constantly among his keys.

Now the worn little cowboy creature sits waiting for you. It’s sweet marble like eyes stare up at you like a day hasn’t gone by since you gave Joel this.

Your best friend gasps, maybe not fully recognizing the keychain but understanding the significance.

You ask the crew member if your friend can maybe accompany you backstage, but he shakes his head a sad no.

“Then I…I can’t.” You shakily breathe out.

“Yes you can!” She interjects. “You gotta at least hear him out!”

You turn to her and find determination fiercely burning in her eyes as she nods.

“But what about you? I don’t want you or your parents waiting around for me.” You urge.

“Don’t worry about me or especially about them!” She reassures, even offering to wait for as long as you need.

You’re grateful, unbearably so and embrace her tight.

“You call me if he gets stupid. I don’t care backstage or not, I’ll go get you.”

You laugh watery at her well meaning threat and thank her. With a quick sweet goodbye, you follow the crew member along the rails until exiting.

The walk out to the backstage area fills you with a hurricane of emotions. What else could Joel say to you? A part of you wonders if he’s going to be cruel about this, having you simply show up to his dressing room just to laugh so arrogant and smug about how wonderfully famous he is now.

No, Joel isn’t that type of man.

Or you hope fame hasn't warped him into that type of man. Arriving at the green room door, your heart races loud in your ears.

The crew member knocks and before you can compose yourself, Joel opens the door.

He’s bathed in the golden amber light of the backstage room. It highlights all those grays again but also illuminates more of the time passed on his face. More winkles line against his eyes and when he fully stares at you, you wonder how different you might look in his eyes.

A jackrabbit like urge rushes over you to maybe flee, call your best friend to come get you.

“Thanks for comin’,” he mutters out. “Was worried ya wouldn’t show.”

You want to bitterly joke that you didn’t want to, but the armadillo keychain you hang onto holds the truth.

The door closes leaving you and Joel alone. Awkward stale air chokes the space.

You simply keep your attention on examining the room. His classic weathered jacket rests thrown over the couch. The rider is stacked with so many classic Joel snacks like his favorite jerky, popcorn, and even a few familiar favorite treats his daughters love.

Then your eyes catch the mug on the counter and you grin softly.

It must be filled with Joel’s classic drink - chamomile and ginger tea with honey for his throat.

“It’s…yeah. That’s it.”

You didn’t even realize you said anything out loud until Joel replies casuing your heart to jump. Finally your eyes find his.

It's a curse that your greatest heartbreak is this handsome. Exhaustion weighs in you and feels ancient, like if you carry the sum of so many lifetimes before.

“So…You wanted to talk to me?” You speak first, trying to keep yourself strong.

“I…uh yeah.” Answering so cryptically, his shoulders deflate. “How ya been?”

“Good.” You answer simple, curt almost.

There’s too many things that could’ve slipped out if you said anything more. Like how you selfishly kept one of his shirts and hate that the smell of him on it has faded like a wistful memory. Or how you can barely listen to Dolly Parton or Johnny Cash anymore because you’re reminded of Joel singing along to their songs.

So you turn the conversation back to him.

You ask how the girls are and Joel perks up, eyes shimmering with fatherly pride.

“Good, yeah they’re good. Uh, Ellie’s playing softball for the school again ‘n Sarah’s busy with student council. They’re still just bossin’ me all around.”

“As usual.”

You both say the same line at the same time and it chokes you up.

Joel inhales and his lips press tight, a hard line. The air tightens. No one says anything and now annoyance, frustration and maybe even a bit of panic claw at you.

“Joel, why am I here?” You ask him again.

Sighing, so weary and tired, he looks down.

Feels like ages pass between you and him. The faint noise of the stadium leaks into the room muffled.

You think of your best friend waiting and of your own heart waiting to end this.

“Look, it was good to see you,” you half lie. “You did great, hope you and the girls take care”

You turn to walk out.

That’s when he blurts out your name and you stop.

“I miss you.” He exhales.

“Miss ya so g’damn much. Every fuckin’ day.” He mutters.

When you turn back around, he stares at you unwavering. You don’t know what to say.

“Seein’ ya out in the crowd…thought m’heart was gonna give out.” He barks a weak laugh.

“Almost stoppin’ the fuckin’ show just to make sure it was you… y’look beautiful as ever.” His eyes haze over slightly, almost nostalgic.

Suddenly a heated spark rips into your chest, jagged edged and angered.

“You broke up with me.” You snap, voice already raw.

“I know,” Joel nods. “Worst damn decision of m’life.”

Your lips tremble. Everything hurts like a live wire is burning up your veins.

“Then why? Why did you do it?” You croak. You want to scream, maybe even storm out and not even give him the chance to speak.

“What? Did Mr. Big Country Star hate having a partner that wasn’t famous too?” Venom leaks bitter and poisonous in your mouth, choking your throat.

“Y’know god damn well that ain’t it.” He snarls back hard.

“No actually I fucking don’t know Joel.” You reply with a fierce bite. “You so conveniently left out any real damn reason why you were breaking up with me.”

“I said our paths were going in separate directions.” He glares hard at you now.

“And that’s about it!” Your voice raises and you hate it.

The tears come quicker than you hoped for and you hate that more.

“No real explanation,” you exhale, wanting to stay as calm as you can. “You couldn’t even give me that…what else am I supposed to think?”

Even dabbing away your tears, your composure is slowly slipping.

“I couldn’t do this to you,” he breathes out and it’s broken. His eyes are shimmering obsidian pools.

“This life, all the fuckin’ mess that comes with dating someone in the limelight, I couldn’t just throw that on ya.” He explains and the truth rings out a quiet hum.

“And you didn’t think to talk to me about this?” You whisper out now hurt. “Joel, I thought we were a team.”

“We are- were.” He slips and corrects himself fast. “I just knew if we fuckin’ talked about it you wouldn’t have understood.”

“Understood what?” You’re frustrated and it leaks into your voice.

“That I didn’t want ya fuckin’ hatin’ me!” He finally screams the weighted truth.

Stunned quiet but still slightly confused, you ask Joel what he means.

Pain travels across Joel’s handsome face as his jaw clenches hard.

“This shit…it takes away a lot.” He croaks out. “Hell I’ve even missed things with the girls. Didn’t want ya sacrificin’ your life or wakin’ up one day and realizin’ how much you’ve lost ‘cause of me…couldn’t let myself do that to you.”

Your chest aches like a rocket got shot into you. You’re angry he took that chance for you to decide, but you understand.

Joel never wants to be the cause of pain to others, especially those he loves.

He agonizes so much over his decisions and how corrupting he believes he is. When in reality every action he takes you know simply stems from his endless deep devotion to keep those he loves safe.

His decision to end your relationship was him, in his own frustrating Joel way, trying to keep you safe. Even if it was from himself.

Your lips tremble and you cuss bitterly hard under your breath.

“You damn stupid man.” You hiccup. “I didn’t…I don’t care what life fame would’ve given me with you. I would never resent you. For better or worse I just wanted a life with you, that’s all I ever wanted.”

Through a few sobs, you wipe the tears fogging up your sight.

Before you can see it happening, strong sturdy arms suddenly wrap around you and shock you breathless. Curled in Joel’s arms, it’s like a sad coming home party and you cry even more.

“M’so sorry, my darlin’.” Joel whispers against your forehead.

“I hate you.” You don’t. Even on your hardest days, you never could.

“I know, hate my fuckin’ ass too.” Joel replies.

His arms squeeze you tighter.

“Never stopped lovin’ you. Never will.” His voice wavers and now your arms wrap around him.

“You left.” You whisper back so small while tears continue to prickle in your eyes.

“I know honeydew, ‘n I’ll never forgive myself for it.” He replies fiercely like a strike of lightning with its bright force. “Been a fuckin’ mess without ya. Tommy would be the first to agree and the girls too.”

You absorb his words, basking in the safe haven that is Joel. Hours, maybe days pass just in his arms.

“Please forgive me, baby.” He whispers hoarse against your head.

You nod a soft yes.

Because even the part of you that wants to yell and stubbornly say no knows the ultimate answer is, and always will be, him.

“Of course…I love you.” You mutter half dazed against his strong chest. “Love of my life.”

Pressed so close to him, you feel how hard he swallows and his arms squeeze you impossibly tighter against you.

He says your name and you hum out a soft noise.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes, which have sort of glazed over, snap open wide.

“What?” You mutter out, maybe think you misheard him.

“Marry me.” Joel repeats himself.

You practically squawk like a confused bird and scramble in his arms.

“Joel Miller, you can’t be serious?!” You shriek through the tears still lingering in your voice.

Your face snaps up to him. His face is composed, almost serene in a way as he look at you with molten eyes.

“Serious as that g’damn ring I bought ya.”

His words are a mumble but so soft and unwavering. Your soul leaves your body like you were thrown into a cold lake.

“You what?” You stammer out.

“Y’heard me.” He nudges his chin to you. “A ring. Bought it after you dropped everything to go take care of the girls when they got sick.”

Too many emotions overwhelm you and the tears return with a vengeance.

Joel, like a steady man in the storm, places his warm hand on your face to gather you back into his embrace. He places the softest kiss to the side of your head.

“We gotta have a chat about discussing your feelings with me more, Miller.” You manage to chide him through your tears.

“I know.” He mutters against your skin while he continues softly kissing you with utter tenderness. “‘N I’m not lettin’ ya go again.”

You squeeze him hard, trying to burn his memory into your arms worried you’re going to wake up and find this is just a heartbroken hallucination.

“Baby,” he begins.

“Hm?”

“Stay with me for the night.” He urges. “The bus got plenty of room-”

“Ooo, is this what you say to all your groupies, Mr. Miller?” You tease with a snort.

“Behave.” His hand playfully squeezes your hip but his underlying somber tone even with his chuckle ignites a familiar heat brewing in you of the times he’s reprimanded you like that before.

“No groupies.” Joel reassures you. “Only you sweetheart, only ever gonna be you.”

His words flutter into your heart and make a nest there.

Gently you draw back to stare at Joel. Your hand moves to his face, aching to just touch him. Even in his arms you’re waiting for him to vanish from your touch as if he’s a figment of your wrecked heart, a ghost of lovers past haunting you now.

But his stubble tickles against your palm. Running warm as usual, his face feels like a soft morning sun. Your thumb strokes his cheek and his eyes close, melting into your hold.

Gently you place a soft kiss against the corner of his lips.

Joel now tilts his head so he can deepen the kiss before you can even draw away.

It’s not a consuming passion that you expected. No frantic fierce clash of lips or an overflow from a year passed between you two.

Instead it’s a soft welcome home. It’s a kiss you’ve given him when he’s come home late or when you leave for work.

Because his blood, his soul, you believe are simply stitched into the very fabric of you. It’s like a piece of you is returning back to you, or maybe back to your other home with him.

“So you gonna stay with me?” He mumbles against your lips.

“I don’t know Miller, you haven’t even offered to sign anything for me. What kind of famous country singer are you?” You smirk against his lips.

He laughs, hearty, a true wild deep one sweeping you into its joy.

“Hell yeah I’ll fuckin’ sign something for ya, our marriage certificate.” He snaps in classic grumpy Joel fashion and you almost think about dragging him to a courthouse.

You text your friend a million apologies and even take pictures of all the signed merch you’re bringing back to her.

Now in the cocoon of Joel’s cozy bed on his tour bus, among the warmth sheets, you hold the ring up in the dim light inspecting it. Because of course your secretly romantic man kept the ring with him.

“You sure you weren’t keeping this around for someone else?” You ask.

“Fuck no.” He growls low. “S’yours…only yours.”

From behind his arms slide around you and you’re encompassed by his swallowing presence. His beard scrapes against your shoulder.

“If ya don’t like it, can get ya another one.” He mutters casually but hesitant softness peeks out from under his gruff tone.

“It’s perfect.” You reassure him.

It’s the ring Joel got you then and it’s the ring you want now and always will. You even tell him that.

The kisses places on your bare shoulder whispers of his devotion.

“Honey.” However, his voice now is hesitant and makes you pause on your ring inspecting.

“I gotta ask…but do ya have my armadillo keychain?” Joel asks with an utter somberness.

You burst out laughing and it shakes your body.

“Honeydew, I’m being serious!” He growls out. “Want that lil’ fella back!”

Wheezing with giggles you lean back against Joel, floating so blissfully floating in renewed adoration.

Twisting in his arms your lips find his.

“Tryin’ to distract me ‘cause you lost him, huh?” He mutters.

You snort, shaking your head.

“No I just love you so much, you dumb cowboy.” You tell him.

“Your dumb cowboy. For better or worse.” He vows, kissing you back firmer now.

“For better or worse,” you nod breathing into him.

In this carved out slightly cramped space it feels holy, sacred, chapel like. You’re even afraid it might be gone tomorrow morning. However, the ring on your finger is the steeled reassurance it isn’t going anywhere.

But, just in case, you gather this glory and Joel into your arms with the promise of never letting go.

[mystycor]

what’s your favorite au?

Im assuming this is referring to my favorite Marble Hornets au, which is kind of like asking who my favorite child is and is completely unfair, I love them all equally

That being said, here are some of my personal favorites

@creative-clawmarks Vampire AU has awesome themes of monsters, psychological horror, etc. Great take on the characters and fantastic links to the original story

@mickey-bees Infection AU, similar to the Vampire AU, has SUCH good horror and monster elements, though this time with a more eldritch spin. Every update is such a cool original take, and the monster design is super creative

@maik-ol Forestry AU sings to my SOUL, its got such poetic themes and Maikol has a fantastic understanding of the characters, as well as themes of nature itself which is so neat

@scootwat Persona AU is very fun, for the simple purpose of Persona and MH crossover is super cool. Special mention to his Jay x Mike Schmidt ship, which is rad

Special mentions that aren't quite au's but are equally fucking awesome alternate timelines are @ohgreat-moretapes for its great Tim characterizing, @strawberyz Seth au which OUGH rots my brain, and @scout-sms thoroughfare. CJ FOREVER!! All 3 of these are in their early publishing but y'all ain't even READY for what they have in store I'm so hyped

(This doesn't include the au's I've created/co created haha, sooo special mention to my 2 cowboy au's 1 alternate timeline and 3 apocalypse au's??)

[starlightandmusings]

newsies fic recs (from an english major):

no hate to those who like the 5+1 and just one bed tropes, but they're just not my cup of tea. (i have been called a hater.) instead, here are my favorite ao3 newsies fics, ones with intense originality, lyrical prose, and in-depth character studies. (;

canon era:

among the roses green by TheBarkeep. a jatherine retelling of the ballad of tam lin, featuring a gentle davey, tumultuous katherine, and poignantly-drawn jack. and, of course, whump, always. word count 66k.

Sacrifice by Efstitt. this fic is my roman empire. mayer jacobs and jack kelly have a history riddled with pain, and jack has to battle his demons to let himself be loved. oh, and the refuge has a fight club. word count 15k.

keep the earth below my feet by scarlettroses. i'm a sucker for race & jack friendship, and here, race is a prizefighter. jack is there to drag him out of trouble, forever. word count 2.6k.

tryin' to talk with a fist in ya mouth by Somanywords. jack kelly's full backstory, chronicling his grief, his darkness. featuring intense PTSD, art as a form of therapy, and emotionally charged prose. word count 15.5k.

Jack's Self Portrait in Apologies by Em_313. a different angle on jack's backstory, captured in snapshots of regret. meticulous period research in this one, as well as a whole lot of bloodstains and death. word count 3k.

cardboard crown (jack kelly, a life) by stars_and_sunflowers. this is my own take on jack's story. featuring a fight club, a debt-riddled race, and irish catholicism. in-progress, current word count 16k.

Escapes by Efstitt. jack has just broken out of sing sing, and he lands smack dab in the middle of the pulitzers' summer estate. cue savagery, a pretty heiress, and a compassionate spot conlon. word count 30k.

On the Road by Efstitt. sequel to escapes! ever more whump, this time in the context of a road trip. jatherine is endgame, and the plot is dazzlingly engaging. and, as always, brilliant characterizations. word count 56k.

Just Hold On Kid by flyinghome21. another jack kelly backstory (do you see a pattern?) flashes of years gone by; i was really captured by the way the plot moved, the highlights of what made jack tick. word count 27k.

melt your headaches, call it home by floodlights. latino jack kelly. jatherine. classism/racism, violence, startlingly lyrical prose. do i even need to SAY more. i want to eat this fic. one of my all time faves. word count almost 5k.

Best Laid Plans by TheBarkeep. ashkenazi jewish jacobs family rep! this one features a soft davey jacobs falling in love with a sex worker, jatherine sweetness, and teenagers bearing the weight of the world. word count 128k.

Jack and the Baby by tuppenny. cute one-shot told in jack's vividly unique, endearing voice -- he steals a baby in the summer of 1891. carefully researched, wonderfully executed. word count 5.6k.

of cowboys and princesses by TheBarkeep. little jack and charlie meet each other in an orphan asylum. jack is a fierce protector, charlie a wistful dreamer. this one made me cry. word count almost 3k.

honorable mention: for you are my fate, my sweet by TheBarkeep. cupid & psyche retelling featuring organized crime, meticulous period piece research, and a villain more horrific than snyder. this is one of my favorites, but i skimmed so much of it because it gets very dark. word count 149k.

(now would be a good time to get up, stretch, drink some water. will i ever stop yapping? eventually.)

modern au

No Way by Efstitt. this and the sequel have my brain in a stranglehold. foster care au ft a severely traumatized jack, charlie and jack gorilla glue familial love, stunning plot twists, horrific whump, mayer jacobs for king of the universe now and forever. this one made me cry like a baby.

Just Hold On, Kid by Efstitt. the sequel. i am getting these two as bound books by the end of the year. davey is doing an investigative report on the refuge just as jack gets sent back, and mayer won't let something like trauma or distance stop him from loving his boys. in-progress. current word count 56k.

Medda Crusade by sunkissedstar. this series is the perfect blend of fluff and angst, focusing on baby jack and his trauma in foster care, and medda showering him with mother love. series word count is 10k.

to be updated! i am currently reading Hell Is a Sober Crawl by glitter_ink, rereading for you are my fate, my sweet (TheBarkeep), and beginning Five (stress), all of which came highly recommended. thanks for coming to my ted talk enjoy <3

[littlemissthunderstorms]

cowboy like me

alex turner x reader

cowboy au! this is inspired by all my own stunts and also just because i thought it would be silly fun cute! (also this is really short, more of a blurb!)

summary- your cowboy boyfriend alex arrives home after a short journey. basically just fluff

“with your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest haunt”

———

you gazed out the window, dust and tumbleweeds swirling around outside as you sighed. your boyfriend had been gone a week, riding through canyons with the other cowboys. normally you would be on these trips with him, laying side by side as you gaze at the stars in the night sky, laughing as you two come up with silly ways to tie bandanas, singing sweet little songs on alex’s guitar together, but not this time. this time you’d been too ill to go with alex. he suggested he stay with you but you insisted he go have fun, practically pushing him out the door.

he was expected to be back in town anytime today so impatiently, you’d peer out the window every few minutes, itching to see him. sighing, you decided to sit down and paint to pass time.

———

it’d been half an hour, you’d gotten lost in your painting, smudges of pinks and greens on your flannel and hands. your face twisted in concentration as you focused on your brushstrokes, carefully adding details to the flowers you were creating.

whilst absorbed in your art, a hand snaked around your waist, the other hand moving up your arm to set your paintbrush down. gasping, you turned around to see alex, grinning at you from ear to ear. you hadn’t even heard him come in.

smiling, you pulled him into a tight hug, pressing your face into the soft fabric of his flannel. “i missed you so much.” alex muttered as he held you tightly, one hand moving up to stroke your hair. “you have no idea.” you mumbled into his chest.

“cme’re.” alex cupped your face with both of his hands, pulling your face up to kiss you hard, nose pressing against your cheek, lips soft and warm against yours.

you pulled back and chuckled, breathing hard as you peppered kisses all over his face and the corners of his lips. he smiled, eyes full of adoration as he looked back at you and tucked a stray hair behind your ear. “how ya’ hold up? feeling better?” alex kissed your forehead. you nodded. “much better. missed ya’ terribly tho. how was it?”

you giggled as alex intertwined your fingers with his, arm around your waist, slow dancing with you as he spoke. “it were’ great. man, you should’ve been there, nick’s horse wasn’t having it, nearly chucked him into the lake.” he laughed and you smiled. “how was the canyon?” he dipped you and you chuckled. “god, gorgeous. i’ll have to take you sometime, just me n’ you, you’d love it.” he leaned in close, voice barely above a whisper as he added, “plus, i’d love to make love to you under those stars.”

you blushed at his words, rolling your eyes as he laughed, kissing you again. you grinned, running a hand through his hair, ruffling it a bit. alex leaned forward, forehead resting against yours and noses nudging. “i love ya’ you know that?” you nodded as you replied. “love you too, so much.” alex smiled in response, pecking your lips.

you pulled back slightly. “you need to shower al, you’re all sweaty.” you laughed. alex nudged his nose against your cheek, cupping your face in one hand as his lips grazed against your face. “only if you join me.” he whispered.

you nodded, holding his hand and leading him into the bathroom.

“cmon’ cowboy.”

———

hii hope u liked!! sorry this is so short 🙁

[tessherongraystairs]

TLH Characters as TS Lyric Tattoos:

“Give you my wild, give you a child” - This is a personal favorite of mine, like I would totally get this one tattooed on me and I’m considering it for the future. I have two options for this one; Anna and Eugenia. For Anna it would be COT, after she and Ari decide to adopt a kid together, idk it just fits the vibe. I personally think Anna would have it tattooed on her palm, so she can always look at it. For Eugenia, it would be based in the one AU where she’s Atticus’s (Elias’s illegitimate kid) mother (which is only in one fic I wrote) and she would have it on her collarbone, specifically her left one

“I was once was poison ivy”/“but now I’m your daisy” - Jordelia couple tattoo, obviously. James has the poison ivy part inked down his forearm, with Cordelia have the daisy part inked down her forearm as well (opposite ones obviously). This one was just obvious with the daisy and James calling her daisy

“Like we were Paris”/“Like we were somewhere else” - It’s Thomastair obviously, the one and only Paris couple. I think they would both have both lyrics on their upper shoulders in each other’s handwriting to be exact. They totally dance to the song all the time

“Forever is the sweetest con” - Matthew Fairchild, one hundo percent. I just feel like he loves cowboy like me and it’s honestly my favorite Fairstairs song, even though I don’t ship them. This lyric just fits Matthew’s cynicism towards love

“All my flowers grew back as thorns” - Blackthorn siblings (Grace and Jesse) tattoo. I’m feeling a wrist tattoo for Jesse and a collarbone tattoo for Grace (partnered with an actual tattoo of thorns). Again, thorns, Blackthorn. It was just too easy

“Blue as the life she fled” - Not technically a TLH character but Tessa. It gives me Tessa after Will dies vibes and she can’t remember the exact blue of his eyes anymore

“Heartbreak is the national anthem (we sing it proudly)” - It’s a Real Found Family™️ group matching tattoo. They all have it inked somewhere on their body

“No body, no crime” - Lucie Herondale would have this tattooed behind her ear, tiny and subtle. I feel like that song is her anthem and I wholeheartedly believe that

“Women like hunting witches too” - Lucie and Grace matching tattoos vibes. They both have it on the back of their neck. This is the ultimate matching tattoo in my opinion and that’s all I have to say on this one.

“This is me trying” - It’s Alastair Carstairs coded and he has it on his wrist or on his neck. It’s either/or for him tbh. But he definitely has this one

“I prefer hiding in plain sight” - Thomas Lightwood absolutely has this one, probably near his compass rose, hidden in plain sight (on the nose obviously). He has it done in white ink to hide it more

“My friends found friends who care” - The entire TLH cast tbh

I need to stop before this gets any longer

You should honestly keep going

I love the New Romantics one

I LOVE PARIS THO

Oooo what about oh my love is a lie

This is me trying for Alastair stop

I almost shed a tear

Miss Americana and the heartbreak prince could be a couple tattoo (wessa? Coz Tessa was American and all Herondales are known heartbreakers)

I FEEL LIKE CARDIGAN IS A SOPHIDEON SONG LIKE I REALLY REALLY DO SO A LURIC FRKM THERE (aside from you drew stars around my scars)

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

Random prompt idea for you, my dear! The song Ticks by Brad Paisley (because that song just screams Jake to me every time I listen to it! 😆) and while I was going to originally ask for the werewolf au, I realized it would also work for the Colts au!

The Colts are in Texas for a game (either the Houston Texas or the Dallas Cowboys, it doesn't matter to me which one!) and the Colts win so the team decides to go out to celebrate. Maybe this ends up being the night Ronnie & Jake hook up for the first time? Or maybe this is post-baby and Ronnie doesn't think Jake finds her post-baby body attractive and this is Jake telling her that he most certainly does still find her attractive.

You pick! 😊

oh frick yes motherforking nfl au BABEY !! I decided that this is the first time they hook up and I hope you enjoy love 💕

word count: 2074

warnings: football player jake, alcohol, being drunk, EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI (size kink, just the slightest praise kink, unprotected pinv, public sex, outdoor sex)

It was Mickey who convinced her to come. There was something to celebrate after all. They just beat the Texans, on their turf. It was a game everyone predicted that they would lose. But somehow, they pulled it off. Only winning by one touchdown that all-star tight end Jake Seresin just so happened to score.

So when Mickey, along with the rest of the guys who decided to go out after the game, knocked on her door and gave her those undeniable puppy eyes — Ronnie agreed. 

Jake decided on the place. A little country bar in the middle of nowhere just outside Houston that he used to haunt during his college years. The place had pool and darts and the bartender didn’t kick them out immediately for being Colts. Just another win on this fated night. 

It only took a few tequila shots to get Ronnie out on the dance floor. And Jake watched her from the booth he decided to occupy as he nursed his beer.

She wasn’t wearing athletic gear. It was the first time any of them had seen her in jeans. And Jake had to admit she looked good. With those jeans and that tight shirt and brown hair falling around her shoulders instead of tied up or pulled back. In her six months of being Jake’s coach, this was the happiest he had ever seen her. She was dancing and singing and joking around with the guys. Her smile took up her whole face, her laugh her entire body, and Jake liked that.

Jake liked even more the sway of her hips, the shape of her mouth as she sang along to the country songs she knew. He supposed he knew from the moment he first saw her that she was beautiful. But it was hitting him like a linebacker now.

His coach was so fucking pretty. 

Draining the rest of his beer, Jake pulled himself from the booth and joined the rest of his teammates on the dance floor. They all cheered as he walked up to them. Most were just standing around, holding their various drinks and talking about the game or upcoming games. But a few were dancing. Ronnie moved away from the dance floor to take up the last of the shots she ordered, greeting Jake with a smile. 

Ticks by Brad Paisley came on over the loudspeakers and Ronnie screamed with delight before downing the shot of tequila.

“God, haven’t heard this song in forever!” she laughed as she moved to the beat, head bobbing and those hips moving.

“Didn’t know you liked country music,” Jake said as he watched her. 

Ronnie grinned up at him and he wanted her to look at him like that all the time. 

“Grew up in the middle of nowhere Southern Indiana, I kinda had to like country music if I wanted to survive,” she replied. 

“You know how to line dance?” 

“Why the hell would I know how to do that?” Ronnie laughed again. 

Jake jerked his head over to the dance floor. “Come on, I’ll show ya.”

“Nah, think I’ll just order another beer,” she said with a shake of her head. 

“Oh, come on, Coach! Dance with the man!” Javy encouraged with a broad grin and a wink tossed Jake’s way. 

Jake felt his face heat up at the implications of it. He thought he wasn’t being that obvious. But he just wanted to be close to her. Wanted to feel her skin and her heat and have her smile at him with her whole face. He didn’t know if the alcohol or the high from winning was doing this to him or what. But he wasn’t about to practice self-control. 

That was something he never had been good at. 

The guys standing around them started to chant dance, dance, dance, dance and finally Ronnie relented with hands raised in surrender. They cheered as Jake offered her his hand. 

“Coach.” He smirked down at her as she slapped her hand into his palm. 

“One dance, Seresin,” she said and he nodded. 

Leading her out onto the dance floor, he showed her the moves he learned from all those barn dances his sisters used to drag him to. The two steps and little kicks, swaying her around with his hand on her waist, spinning her out and back into his chest. One dance turned into two and into three. Neither of them making any move to stop or rest as they laughed and twirled around the dance floor. Ronnie was a fast learner, and even drunk she kept a good rhythm and followed his lead.

At the end of their third song, Jake spun her out and then back into his chest again. Her giggles like bells in his ears as her hands came to rest on his shoulders. Of their own accord, his hands slipped to hold her hips — tug her closer against him. It was hot in the bar and they were both sweating but Jake didn’t care. He had seen her sunburnt and sweat dripping from her nose and yelling at him for being an idiot. He had seen her at four in the morning, barely awake with heavy bags under her eyes from watching game day footage until three. She looked beautiful then and she looked beautiful now. 

“I wanna go star gazing!” Ronnie suddenly gasped loudly right into his face. 

Jake looked down at her with a furrowed brow. “Like — right now?”

“Yes! Right now — immediately!” She grabbed his hand and pulled him through the crowd. “We’re in the middle of nowhere! It’s perfect!” 

As they moved through the people, Ronnie asked anyone who would listen to join them. Talking loudly about how they were in the city too much, that the light pollution was going to make them go insane. Her ramblings went ignored or were denied — the other players too drunk or just not caring in the slightest. But Ronnie’s grip on his hand never relented, never faltered, as she dragged him towards the door.

He went gladly, though. The alcohol fuzzing his brain, making all his thoughts blurry and just out of his reach, didn’t let the usual warning bells go off. The bells that told either of them not to spend time alone together. That told them that anything more than a player-and-coach relationship between them was against the rules. That told them it could never be, no matter how much they thought about it.

The Texas air was slightly chilled as they stepped out onto the bar’s porch. Ronnie let go of his hand as she marched out into the gravel parking lot, head thrown back at a sharp angle in order to look at the dark sky. 

“Ugh, still can’t see anything! The lights…” She gestured over at the lampposts that illuminated the parking lot. 

“I’ve got blankets in the back of my truck,” Jake said, “We could drive a ways into that pasture over there.”

“Drive a ways,” she repeated with a smile. “Gettin’ more southern by the minute.”

“What can I say, Texas brings out the best in me.” He stepped closer, cowboy boots crunching in the gravel, and she laughed with her whole body.

“Wouldn’t that be trespassing, anyway?” she questioned.

He shrugged. “Not if we don’t get caught.” 

Ronnie agreed with a wicked grin he had never seen on her before, but he liked it. He liked that he now knew she could be mischievous, that she couldn’t stop giggling when she was doing something she knew she wasn’t supposed to. They got into his truck and drove out into the unfenced pasture just across the road from the bar. Just enough to where they couldn’t hear the music and even the lights from the street were dim. The blankets were old and dusty, but they would do as they spread a few out across the truck bed and climbed inside. 

They laid so closer their arms were pressed against one another. The feel of her skin against his own was electric, burning hot. It was like every nerve in his body was solely attuned to the places in which she touched him. And he watched out of the corner of his eye as she crossed her arms behind her head and sighed. 

Ronnie’s smile really was beautiful. And Jake found himself looking at her more than the canopy of stars. More than they ever got to see in Indianapolis but he didn’t even care. Stars were a dime a dozen, but her? Right now? With those moles on her cheeks and soft brown eyes and pink lips he wanted to kiss. That was one in a million. 

“I haven’t felt this happy in a long time,” she suddenly whispered as she continued to stare at the sky. 

Jake craned his neck to look at her better. “What d’you mean?”

“I mean…I don’t know. I got my dream job, right? I’ve wanted this since I was a kid. Football has been my whole life and I love it. But now that I’m here…” She sighed, arms unfolding from behind her head to rest at her sides. “It’s not all I thought it would be. Everything I do is watched and scrutinized and I…Like did you know? There’s an entire twitter account that’s just a countdown to when I’ll get fired. I guess I knew going in it would be hard, but…I just feel like I can never be myself. I can never relax cause if I slip up even once…”

She sighed again, that joy Jake had come to appreciate slipping away from her eyes. Without thinking, he reached down and took her much smaller hand in his own. She looked over at him for the first time since they crawled into the bed of the truck. 

“Do you feel like yourself right now?” he asked. 

“Yeah…I do.”

Jake could see the stars reflected in her dark eyes. He glanced down at her lips, parted sightly as her thumb passed over his knuckles. He wanted to kiss her more than he wanted to breathe.

Suddenly he was leaning in, and she was leaning too. Suddenly their lips met and it wasn’t enough. Suddenly he was on top of her and his hand was beneath her shirt — feeling as much of her as he could before whatever bubble they had found themselves in popped. Suddenly she was moaning into his mouth and tugging at his belt. 

There were no thoughts. Only some animalistic need. Her shirt rucked up beneath her armpits and one breast spilled out for him to get a taste. Both their jeans pulled down just enough. Neither of them asking any questions that would slow them down as Jake went inside her.

He groaned at how tight her walls gripped him, at her blunt nails digging into his shoulders. He hadn’t realized until that moment, with her caged beneath him in the bed of the truck he had owned since he was sixteen, how much smaller she was than him. He bet if someone were to look at them now, they would hardly be able to see her. He knew he was a big guy, as a tight-end he had to be. But it had never occurred to him that Ronnie could be this small. He felt his dick jump inside her as he was finally buried to the hilt. 

“Shit, good girl, takin’ me so well,” he muttered in her ear as he began to move with shallow thrusts. 

“Mm, J-Jake — so big,” she babbled, eyes unfocused as her fingers scrambled for purchase on his biceps. 

“I know, I know.” He kissed the side of her head. “Doin’ so good for me. Fuck, feel so good.” 

Suddenly his hips were working at a brutal pace and she was crying up to the heavens. Suddenly his thumb thrummed at her clit, wanting to feel her squeeze him impossibly tighter. Suddenly she was coming with a silent scream and her head thrown back. Suddenly Jake was spilling inside her before he even realized he was close. 

They both panted for breath. Sweat cooled on their skin as Jake kissed at her neck. He could see her smile, lazy and stuck in a haze as she looked up at the stars. 

Then she went stiff beneath him, her grip on his shoulders deathly tight. 

“Oh, fuck, what did we just do?”

[ukiyokki]

mars reads too much dreamnotfound fanfiction for their own good

a dreamnotfound fanfic recommendation list by your resident dumbass (me)

this took way to fucking long... i’m tired

below is a (very extensive) list dedicated to all my favorite dnf fics, ranging from quick one shots to 100k+ word monstrosities that devour the storage on my computer, forever incomplete masterpieces to ongoing works of art, you get the idea. i provided links for each fic/series for your reading pleasure. there will be no smutty/nsfw fics on this list, that’s just not my vibe lmao. this list goes in no particular order, and i’ll update it from time to time when i feel like it. now, without further ado, let us begin.

Heat Waves (complete) by tbhyourelame

(wtf else did you expect, looking at a dnf rec list?) amazingly well written, and while it’s not my favorite dnf fic it’s damn near close. in the midst of a brutal heatwave, a suffering dream comes to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with his best friend. everything i could say about this fic has already been said by nearly everyone who’s read it, so if you haven’t yet caved into the hype, just go for it. you won’t be disappointed.

Gonna be around (completed) by georgescatcafe

(mc irl) my favorite dnf oneshot to date. just read it, i don’t wanna spoil for you :)

Inferno in the Sky (ongoing)by zairielon

(star wars au) an ongoing star wars au currently clocking in at almost 200k words. need I say more? everything about it absolutely slaps, each chapter is amazingly written, and it’s just good. also, can we just appreciate dream and tubbos dynamic in here? 10/10, amazing, must protecc. oh right, a summary: george, an exiled padawan turned engineer, must return to the jedi temple after attacks on it from an unknown assailant threaten the safety of himself and the other jedi.

Like Magic (ongoing) by KangarooKen, NotGra55 (Gra55)

(harry potter au) the unofficial official dnf harry potter au. we watch the young unlikely wizard pair grow up together throughout their years at hogwarts as they battle good old fashioned wizard racism. beautifully written, incredibly fun and suspenseful, and just an overall blast and a half.

GeorgeNotFound, Son of Poseidon, and the League of Minor Gods (ongoing) by Clichewho_69, Cygnvs, Trash_Kinggg

(percy jackson au) percy jackson au? check. “road trip” (technically quest but u get what i mean)? check. enemies to friends to lovers? check. this fic follows the plot of the lightning theif (albeit loosely), but everything is explained enough where you don’t have to read percy jackson to understand what’s going on. basically after moving to the usa, george gets taken to camp halfblood where he learns that a) gods exist. b) he’s the son of poseidon and c) he needs to prove that he didn’t steal zeus’s master bolt.

Protected (completed) by aenqua

(royalty/camelot au) my favorite piece of dnf media of all time. dubbed the official dnf camelot au, where dream is the heir to the throne and george is a servants son with a secret that couldp get him killed. these childhood friends grow up together and learn trust, love, and acceptance. (that summary did not justice to the masterpiece that is this fic) here’s the directors cut

The Hunter (completed) by HederEgo

(mc irl) a choose your own adventure fic with 13 different endings, where dream the hunter must kill george and stop him from beater the ender dragon. enough said.

The official dream team cowboy AU (series)(ongoing) by antsu_in_my_pantsu

(cowboy au) cowboys and outlaws horses and shit. and the big gay. it’s a cowboy au, what else did you expect? fucking yee haw (all seriousness this is a great read, i loved it so so so so much and i can’t wait for the final chapter to release).

This is a Drista moment, let's just accept it (completed) by Qekyo

dnf fic from drista pov. considering its unique perspective, it’s perfectly done. beautifully showcases a sibling relationship through drista and her memories/moments with dream, and it just works, y’a know? also drista supremacy.

Dear Dream (completed) by Qekyo

(wwii au) i don’t cry when watching/reading anything sad. translation: i’m a heartless bitch. however, this fic is the only exception. it caused me to cry so hard my mom walked in my room and asked if i was ok. ‘nuff said.

TECHNOlogical Wingman (completed) by Closeted_Bookworm

techno is the autocorrect ai on dreams phone, and he gains sentience. interesting concept, and the author fucking nailed it. great fic.

It Was Only a Fic (ongoing) by imagineitdear

dream starts reading a dnf fanfic (we’ve all been there buddy).

Teacher’s Pet (ongoing) by niyuha

(teacher au) in which dream is a high school english teacher and george is the new comp sci teacher in room 297.

Saltwater Secrets (ongoing) by earlgay_milktea

(mermaid/high school au) a great example of the shear amount of variety in fics this fandom has to offer. when i started reading dnf fics i would have never thought i’d find one about a mermaid george hopelessly crushing on his human friend, who happens to be his schools star swimmer. yet here i am, and i am far from disappointed.

Smash My Heart (incomplete) by dontrollthedice

george and sapnap are commentators for duper smash brothers tournaments, and george develops a crush on an up and coming smash streamer named dream.

roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems (completed) by Alienu

laser tag. 10/10

solar system (completed) by quartzfia

(mc irl) george vists dream in pandora’s vault.

Ramblings of a Lunatic (completed) by jungkooksfic

ahh communicating through a notebook left on a shelf in a bookstore- what a perfect way to start a relationship.

Paint me like your French Girls (It's Charcoal, Actually) (completed) by Turtle_ier

(artist au) george is an art student, and dream is a model.

00:00:00 (completed) by isleofdreams

(soulmate au) 00:00:00 is the moment you meet your soulmate, as indicated but the clock ticking down on your wrist until the moment you meet. i’m not a fan of soulmate aus; this fic is the exception.

Blue Skies Smilin' At Me (completed) by kivy

(artist au) i don’t usually cry while reading stuff, but this brought me damn near close. george is a painting conservator and chats it is with the ghost of the artist if the painting he is working on. they fall in a love.

Current Location (incomplete) by hendollana

(influencer au) george simps for a hot american instagram model. who knew he’d actually follow back?

The Withering (series) (series ongoing, 1 work completed) by App1e_Juice

(mc irl) lore and world building and fight scenes and everything i crave. what’s not to love? something starts making the plants and crops around dreams village wither, and must team up with new friends to find the cause of the mysterious disease plaguing the land.

Minecraft, But You Can't Leave (complete) by facadecake

(mc irl) dream and george are sucked into their own private minecraft world together and must beat the game to escape.

Free The Game, Beat the End (incomplete) by goatgoatwasfound

(mc irl) a glitch in minecraft causes thousands of players from around the world to be trapped inside minecraft, with only one way of escape- beating the ender dragon. first dnf fic i ever read, and it’s still 10/10 for me.

Why don't you come a little closer? (completed) by lifeofandoms

george gets stood up by a date, and Dream pretends he’s the date to save george from the embarrassment. simply adorable.

lightning bug (completed) by saintachesP

(band au) while on tour, dream realizes his feeling for george.

Hold me closer (completed) by Treesofmyheart

(mc irl/dsmp) i just,, really like this trope.

Dizzy on caffeine (completed) by GleamingGreenGoggles

(coffee shop au) best dnf coffeeshop au i’ve read. periodt.

living a life of crime isn’t always easy (series) (completed) by itisjosh

(mafia/assassin au) stockholm syndrome except it’s not weird.

Inhibitions Make Interesting Situations (completed) by Ship_On_The_Sea

i pissed myself laughing. it’s just a dream and george being hilariously dense, flustered idiots. serotonin central.

thy eternal summer shall not fade (completed) by gracequills

(high school au) that moment when you recite shakespeare to your crush in your ap lit class instead of confessing (hate it when that happens).

All is Fair in love and Football (ongoing) by graciegirl2001

(college au) #1 favorite college au. in which george is a cheerleader, and dream is the football teams rising star player. this one gets extra points because of the amazing karlnap moments sprinkled throughout. *chefs kisses air*

online love (completed) by andbutso

(high school au) online classes go zoooooooom

Can’t help falling (completed) by isleofdreams

dream re-learns the guitar to sing to george on his birthday. beautiful. fluffy. amazing

dance in the rain and my arms (completed) by lazy_kitkat

george is a rain god, and dream is a wind god

Weather Boy (completed) by DaintyDiizzle

wouldn't you like to know, weather boy? (where dream can control the rain)

The color orange (completed) by anon

(mc irl) dream describes the colors of a sunset

Family Mode (completed)by Strawberry_flavoured_tears

they’re dads :,)

Breathing Room (incomplete) by papercranes

(band an) an amazing band au. the mad lad author wrote original songs for each chapter. above and beyond, mad props :). unfortunately, it’s incomplete

Piece of Clay (completed) by carbonbrine

(artist au) george is a sculptor and his sculpture comes to life- but oh no he’s hot.

Try (completed) by Not4typicalwriter

(royalty au) george must choose a suitor, but none of them are up to dream, his head knights, standards. or dream is hella jelly. also protective dream is perfect

When the Roses Bloom (completed) by HederEgo

(royalty au) close second for my favorite fic. go to royalty au for a quick serotonin bost. it’s all fluff and flowers and crushes, and i love it. criminally underrated.

Heavenstruck (ongoing) by dontrollthedice

george is dreams guardian angel, and dream want to find out more about him and his past life. bittersweet :,)

Bang and Burn (completed) by App1e_Juice

(spy au) george accidentally falls for target number 1 on sapnap’s secret agency’s hit list. this ones great, i love me a spy au :)

Can I get a uhh… (completed) by lemonskies

dream keeps pulling up to the drive through mcdonald’s that george works at drunk.

Pretty Stranger (completed) by anon

when looking for dream in the terminal, george sees a cute guy and decides to flirt.

Take my Hand (completed) by latinbias

(royalty au) another royalty au? poggers. surprise twists? double poggers. love this a lot.

seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes (complete) by meridies

ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP *inhales to compose herself* roadtrip au. unrequited love, ignored feelings, longing, pining, you know the drill. absolutely love this one, its the best roadtrip au i have ever read, in any fandom. (maybe cause i identify with it a little too much, but thats not important. whats important is that you read this fic. right now. im waiting).

Message redacted (complete) by justyouraverageloser

(text fic) dream asks for a girls number and realises hes been given the wrong number. however, an unexpected relationship starts to form between him and the stranger on the other end of the line.

the waves (completed) by anon

(mc irl) this fic was written by the same anon who wrote the color orange, which is up there on my fav dnf oneshot list. dream and george know they have a higher purpose. they don’t know where they came from, or why they are seemingly the only humans in the world, or how they feel about eachother, or even where the skeletons come from, but they are sure of one thing: they have to beat a dragon.

The Dream Doll (completed) by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza)

(voodoo i guess) i’m a real big fan of fics with really out there or unique concepts, so naturally this one makes the cut! i really liked it, it’s really sweet and made me think a lot about what matters to me in the world. george finds a strange doll in an antique shop, and would really like to just stuff it in a drawer and forget about it. sadly (?), the doll has other plans.

last updated February 6th, 2021

[helpimhyperfixating]

Masterlist :3

This art 👆 and my header were both made by @simpingandprocrastinating go check her out she’s so talented and makes awesome content!!!

I’m also active in the CoD fandom. John Price focused blog: @hihhasotherfixations :3

Ko-Fi! https://ko-fi.com/helpimhyperfixating

Requests: Closed :((

Commissions: 1/3 Open

Do’s: I’ll write anything ranging from fluff, oneshots, prompts, imagines, drabbles, s p i c y, crossovers, and AU’s (I love those muhaha)! Female or gn reader mostly. If you don’t specify I’ll automatically revert to female reader! ^^

Some things I won’t do: Stand romance or smut (separate from User), Age gap, Incest, rejection and stuff like that, cheating, extreme Yandere (murder, hurting darling, etc.), degradation, angst with no fluff to balance it out (like, I do love me some angst, but not Yin without its Yang, y’know?), Non-con.

Minors do not interact with any Yandere or nsfw 18+ content (block the ‘hih’s hôrni works’ tag)

Links beneath the cut!

P3=anytime before, during or after (college) SDC, P4=anytime during his late 20’s and DIU, P5=anytime during Golden Wind and early 30’s, P6=anytime during late 30’s, SO and everything after. AU=any alternate universes of course ;}

Oneshots:

P4 - Hat

P4 - Sick

P3 - Spilled Tea

P4 - Mother’s Day

P3 - Jotaro Comforts You

P3 - A Writer’s Trouble

P3 - Help with the Horde

AU - Pokémon professor Jotaro au

P4 - Join Me

AU - Captive Together - Mer! Jotaro x Mer! Reader au / Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4

P4 - Blood Test

P4 - Sneak Attack In Morioh

AU - Surprise visit - Mer! Jotaro x Human! Reader

P6 - You Are - Jotaro x Trans! Reader

P3 - Owned - Yan! Jotaro x Reader

AU - Photos and Crushes - Cowboy AU / Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

AU - Stay - Mer! Jotaro x Human! Reader

AU - Dad - A short Mer AU fic

AU - Risk - A short Mer AU fic

P3 - Woes of the Past

P3 - Change

P4 - Silk Ribbon - Yan! Jotaro x Reader

P6 - Forgotten Lunch

P4 - Help! / part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4

P4 - Sledding

P4 - The Grumpy Dolphin

AU - Rekindled Meetings - Mer! Jotaro x Reader

AU - Fishnet Cuts - Pirate!Jotaro x Mer!Reader

AU - Found - Neko!Jotaro x Reader / Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

P4 - Vacation

EVENT REQUEST MASTERLIST :D (many drabbles and some oneshots)

-

Smuts 🔞:

P3 - Kotatsu

AU - Captive Together / Part 3

P3 - College party

AU - Dream Walker - Sorcerer!Jotaro x Reader

AU - White Lie - Incubus!Jotaro x Reader / Part 1

Kinktober 2023 - Masterlist

-

Harry Potter x JJBA AU with @simpingandprocrastinating :

House sorting!

House sorting 2!

House sorting 3!

A Photograph

CHAPTER 1

Side drabble 1 - Angst

-

Drabbles and au’s of the au:

AU - Mer dadtaro au (read the ‘Dad’ short Mer AU fic first)

Yandere Jotaro x reader drabble

AU - Jotaro brings home a tuna for you to eat.

P4 - Heavy petting session 🔞

P4 - Stubble 🔞

AU - Baby merlyne learns how to crawl

-

Headcannons: (Sort of? I dunno how to do these, lol)

SDC and other Jojo’s as Mer

Joot Sneeze

Milk cartons

Yandere Jotaro

Garbage can

With a Merman by the fire

Yandere werewolf Joot and dragon Joot finding injured darling

Some dadtaro with Jolyne thoughts

Jotaro headcannons

-

Memes/miscellaneous: 

Mermaid AU asks and lore - Mini Masterlist

Important talk

Das a lot of words

Life Problems? Easy Fix

I made a mistake 

Protect him at all costs

Fixed 6taro png / Fixed Jolyne screenshot

Jotaro sings to you

H i m? / ✨ H i m ✨ / The sad follow-up / The long awaited sequel

The three stages of me writing

Dadtaro got me

A forever dilemma

Me when Jotaro / Me when Jotaro 2

Writing ideas

-

Wait you draw?: 

Poké Joot 

Poké Kak

-

✨ Upcoming: ✨

Photos and Crushes - Cowboy AU! Jotaro x Reader / P3 (I genuinely love this one and am very excited to start posting it) [Bit delayed too as I frantically try to rewrite it]

Android AU that was an ask that is getting a bit out of hand because I don’t know when to stop - Android!Jotaro x Reader / P? I dunno how many parts [Delayed cause I lost it all]

Werewolf!Jotaro x Reader

Medieval AU - Knight! Jotaro x Reader

[ode-to-joy]

song association but book ships

ocean eyes, billie eillish;

alright this is obviously percabeth, listen to these lyrics

"you really know how to make me cry when you gimme those ocean eyes i'm scared i've never fallen from quite this high fallin' into your ocean eyes"

so this is annabeth talking about percy, and then

"careful creature made friends with time he left her lonely with a diamond mind and those ocean eyes"

time. time, guys. it's the fucking kronos/luke thing and then annabeth's trauma afterwards.

happier, olivia rodrigo;

more riordanverse! yay!

so this one is an au where perachel is canon and it's from annabeth's point of view.

"and now i'm pickin' her apart like cuttin' her down make you miss my wretched heart but she's beautiful, she looks kind, she probably gives you butterflies"

remember how jealous annabeth was in the battle of the labyrinth? yeah.

"i'm selfish, i know, i can't let you go so find someone great but don't find no one better i hope you're happy, i wish you all the best, really say you love her, baby, just not like you loved me and think of me fondly when your hands are on her i hope you're happy, but don't be happier"

some more lyrics :)

line without a hook, ricky montgomery;

honestly, this one could be either zoyalai or ronmione, but i'm not much of a ronmione shipper so this one's zoyalai.

"i don't really give a damn about the way you touch me when we're alone you can hold my hand if no one's home"

it's the whole secret romance thing!! nikolai as the king and zoya as his general!!

"i broke all my bones that day i found you crying at the lake"

the. garden. scene!!

and then the ultimate lines:

"watching over me, he's singing 'she's a, she's a lady, and i am just a boy' he's singing, 'she's a, she's a lady, and i am just a line without a hook'"

this is exactly how nikolai imagines her, too good to be true!

cowboy like me, taylor swift;

kanej. this entire song is just so kanej.

"you're a cowboy like me perched in the dark telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear like it could be love i could be the way forward only if they pay for it"

hi? this is so kaz?

"and the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up and the old men that i've swindled really did believe i was the one and the ladies lunching have their stories about when you passed through town but that was all before i locked it down"

"skeletons in both our closets"? trauma inducing backstories, and then kaz's dirtyhands reputation and inej "having him without armor".

"with your boots beneath my bed forever is the sweetest con"

now this isn't exactly a kanej line but it gives off helnik vibes, and i might be crying.

special mention goes to trouble by valerie broussard and fairytale by alexander ryback but everyone already knows these iconic songs are six of crows and the folk of the air :p

[xpao-bearx]

《Original post here》

Part 2 HERE

SUMMARY: [Supernatural TWD AU] In which Negan is a kinky incubus, Rick Grimes is your secret guardian angel, and Daryl Dixon is a gruff monster/demon hunter. Three drastically different men who can only agree on one thing: making you theirs.

PAIRINGS: Reader x Negan, Reader x Rick Grimes, Reader x Daryl Dixon (Polyamorous Ships)

RATING: Mature/18+/Romance & Smut. Please be prepared and do NOT report.

NOTE: This is actually my first time ever writing an xReader story series as well as writing on Tumblr (I usually only write on Wattpad). As such, it probs won't be perfect though I would SERIOUSLY appreciate your *respectful* feedback and support!

I understand writing xReader content can get a lil tricky, so please just keep in mind that not everything Y/N says or does would be something that you'd do IRL or even approve of. Also, sometimes I may not help but put a teeny bit of myself in Y/N...

Lastly, I recently got back into the TWD fandom after a looong ass time and I'm taking a while re-watching the whole show. So I apologize in advance if my portrayal of any of the characters are rusty or I may not remember too much of the events from the show, but I promise to do my very best and hope y'all enjoy~!! \(^o^)/

DEDICATED TO: The wonderful @blccdyknuckles and @negans-attagirl 💖

"Heavenly Sins"

Part 1

The sounds of laughter and easygoing chatter filled your ears as you walked closer to the church, a light breeze blowing through your F/C floral dress and the sun blinding your eyes. It was Sunday, most residents of the small town of Alexandria having gathered for mass.

It was a day like any other; peaceful and happy, children giggling and chasing each other around as their parents socialized outside before church could start.

Your heels clacking rhythmically on the pavement, you were just about to enter the building before a familiar voice called out.

"Y/N!"

Spinning, a huge smile instantly reached your ears as you saw none other than Carl Grimes waving enthusiastically at you as he jumped out of a car. From the driver's seat, his father soon followed as he stepped out.

Rick Grimes--dedicated sheriff of this fine town. His usual uniform forgone, instead replaced with a casual navy coloured suit. His baby blues met your E/C, flashing you a bright smile of his own that rivalled the sun itself.

Carl was running towards you now, and once in front he gave you a big hug.

"Settle down, cowboy! It's as if you haven't seen me in forever." You chuckled, ruffling Carl's hair affectionately.

"That's 'cause it did feel like forever." Carl pouted, eventually letting go as he looked up at you.

Before you can reply, Rick patted Carl's head and greeted you. "Hey, Y/N. How are things?" He asked in that endearing Southern accent of his.

"Just fine." You nodded, grinning before you couldn't help but let your gaze wander around a bit. "No Judith?"

It was then that Rick's smile faltered, but just barely. You nearly didn't catch it. "No. She's with her mom."

Rick was divorced from his ex-wife, Lori, after he discovered her cheating on him with his also now ex-bestfriend Shane Walsh. After the divorce, Shane and Lori quickly moved to the neighbouring community of Woodbury together and agreed on joint custody of the kids.

It really made your blood boil; you've interacted with Lori only a few times before so you didn't really have much of an opinion on her...that is, until, you learned what had happened between her and Rick. You knew it wasn't any of your business, but you cared about Rick a lot and he sure as hell didn't deserve to get cheated on.

"Oh." Was all you could say, quite stupidly. Your cheeks reddened, mentally slapping yourself before clearing your throat. "Will I see her in the daycare tomorrow, though?" You were a daycare teacher and even though you loved all of the kids, Judith was your favourite. She was simply such a sweetheart.

Rick nodded, his smile softening. "You got it."

You couldn't continue the conversation as the bells rang, making you jump out of your skin. Carl, noticing this, laughed which made you playfully roll your eyes before slinging an arm around him as all of you went inside.

♡♡♡

You took your place near the back of the church with Carl and Rick. Once everyone was settled and done singing, the service began and Father Gabriel stood on top of the podium. A few minutes into his sermon, the interruption of a motorcycle revving loudly outside sliced through the air. Gabriel flinched in surprise, and it was obvious he was desperately trying to keep his cool. Finally, when it was silent again, you found yourself biting back a smile knowing all too well who had caused the ruckus.

It seems Rick knew, too, judging from how his jaw clenched and his hands turned into tight fists.

The doors were thrown open, making Gabriel flinch once more and some of the congregation turning in the pews to look. But poor Gabriel quickly fumbled with his Bible, raising his voice just a tad to regain their attention.

There was a low whistle accompanying the approaching footsteps, but the congregation did their damn hardest to ignore the latest visitor.

"Damn... I assumed the church would be a lot more welcoming than this." A husky voice whispered, and you at last couldn't hold back as a smile broke through.

"Negan." You whispered back, turning slightly in your seat to see he has taken the spot behind you. His leather clad arms lackadaisically resting on your chair, the musky scent of his cologne invading your senses oh so wonderfully. "Fancy seeing you here."

"What? Is it really that surprising, darlin'?" He grinned, presenting a row of perfectly straight white teeth. "I go to church."

"Not all the time." You pointed out.

"Ah..." He chuckled softly, hazel eyes twinkling. "That's 'cause Father Creepy McGee over there is just that. Creepy. As. Shit."

You bit the inside of your cheeks, suppressing your laughter. True, Gabriel did have his moments, but he wasn't that bad. That didn't change the fact that Negan knew exactly how to tickle your funny bone, though.

He was new to Alexandria. It was a lovely town, but since it was relatively small not a lot of people want to move here not unless it was families looking for their children to grow up in a safe environment. Which was why it was quite a shock to find out that a single man like Negan chose this destination, and even more so when he took everyone aback with his infamous pottymouth and rather inappropriate charisma.

He had moved just a couple of houses down from yours, and you made it your mission to befriend him. Right from the get-go, he had piqued your interest and curiousity. He was different from everyone else--even possessing an air of mystery about him--and that definitely intrigued you. And also, perhaps you were just too nice and didn't want him to feel outcasted. Although, that didn't seem like an issue to him at all.

"Want one?" You were brought back to reality when you saw Negan's hand outstretched with a pack of cigarettes.

"Dude, we're in church." You reprimanded, frowning.

Negan didn't say anything, only cocking a brow and still with that same shit-eating grin. You sighed, finally giving in as you swiftly grabbed one and stashed it away in your purse for later.

"Y/N." You turned to the left, Rick's icy gaze piercing you. "Pay attention."

"R-Right. Sorry..." You mumbled sheepishly.

Carl, who was sitting in the middle of you and Rick, had dozed off. Rick nudged him, but the brunette only groaned softly and snuggled into Rick's chest. Defeated, the sheriff sighed and was just about to listen again to Gabriel before Negan cut in.

"Rick!" Negan purposely raised his voice, knowing it would get a rise out of the other man. "Didn't even see ya there. Howdy, cowboy!"

Rick grimaced, and it looked like he was just going to ignore Negan though he knew that if he did that then Negan would just irritate him even further. "Good to see you, Negan." He forced himself to say.

"Only you can say that while giving me such a deadly side eye, Grimes." Negan snickered. "How have you been? How's the wife?"

Rick flushed, his fists in a tight ball again and it looked like his nails would be digging into his skin. You abruptly swung into action, placing a hand on Rick's own.

"Rick..." You said gently. "It's okay. Calm down."

Rick did, his shoulders drooping as if a heavy weight had been lifted. He can barely pay any attention to Gabriel now, then you suddenly stood up and grabbed Negan's arm.

"We need to talk. Now."

"What, we going for a quickie?" Negan smirked, but that soon faded when he saw your serious expression. He sighed dramatically, reaching his full height as he towered over you before following you out.

At this point, you didn't care if people saw what transpired or would even start gossiping. No one, not even Negan, was allowed to harass Rick. He has helped you through so much shit--more than you'd like to admit--and you at least owed him this much.

Once outside, next to where Negan parked his motorcycle, you exploded. "What the fuck is with you?! You leave Rick alone, or I swear to fucking Christ I will--"

"Woah, woah, woah! Hold your horses, missy!" Negan guffawed, his hands up in mock surrender. "I mean, I like 'em feisty, but goddamn! Watch your fucking language."

"Tch. You're one to talk."

"Did you just scoff at me?" He raised his brows, putting his hands in his pockets as he slowly drew closer to you. A devilish grin tugged at the corners of his mouth, tilting his head slightly. "No one's ever fucking scoffed at me and didn't regret it soon after."

You frowned, letting out a huff as you met his gaze challengingly. "As if you'd do anything to me."

He was silent for several moments before chuckling, leaning back against his motorcycle. "You're right. I have too much of a soft spot for ya." He pulled out a cigarette, lighting it then taking a drag. He drew his head upwards, puffing out the smoke. "Whaddya say we just forgive and forget? I truly am sorry. You can even tell Rick that I am metaphorically down on my goddamn knees begging for forgiveness~"

"I'm not forgiving or forgetting anything until you actually face Rick and apologize yourself." You muttered. And without another word, you spun on your heel and strutted back inside the church with your head held high.

Negan's intent stare lingered where your ass had just been, taking another long drag and letting out a small laugh to himself.

His eyes suddenly glowed a crimson red, a smirk playing on his lips.

Oh, he really did pick a GREAT one.

[xdandelionxbloomx]

Modern AU idea continued

(part 1) (part 2)

(CW: cancer - not terminal and no character death)

Jaskier’s visual album starts with the sounds of a hospital-- 

It fades in from black to a scene of the edge of a hospital bed, the distorted sound of a doctor’s voice overlaid with ringing, making it indistinguishable-- 

A shot of paperwork, in and out of focus - an IV, Jaskier’s fingers tapping the arm of his seat, walls white and clinical around him-- 

And then there is the inside of a car, Jaskier’s head leaning against the window, eyelids drooping and heavy with exhaustion-- 

The sound doesn’t match as he cleared his throat, tried to speak - it’s a recording of when his voice was at its peak worst, rasping, breaking, scraping out of his throat-- 

Unsteady humming as Jaskier lifts his head from the window, overlaid with wrecked humming, and his own voice now, changed, not and yet himself--

“And I wanted to tell you someday-” Jaskier’s voice filters through the mess, and it quiets behind him as the car comes to a stop and Jaskier climbs out, leaving the sight of the camera--

“I kept telling myself - someday I would, but - suddenly those days were numbered and--” 

A sigh. 

The shot changes to Jaskier’s shoes, the dirt and dust the SUV kicked up swirling around them-- 

“I could only think of you. So I went to you and still, I could not tell you.” 

Geralt’s arms wrap around his shoulders and Jaskier presses his face to his shoulder in the midday sun, hands gripping loosely at his shirt-- 

And then the shot is changed--

Jaskier is standing there in the same position, identical, but it is a dark room, empty-- 

Fog swirls about his feet-- 

His hands are achingly empty-- 

And Jaskier wraps his arms around himself and sings--

Sings about how his love slips through his fingers like smoke, how time slips through his hands like sand, how he can hold on to neither-- 

Sings about the agony of watching the years slide by, unable to reach out and grasp, unable to hang on-- 

Jaskier dances with an invisible partner, knocked to his feet, pushed onto his side, collapsed on the foggy floor--

He struggles to his feet, reaches out, and suddenly it’s the same shot before, and in a blink he’s back in Geralt’s arms, fingers loose in his shirt, forcing himself to step back with a wobbly smile, voice cracking on the last note of the song--

“Cancer is a scary word.” Jaskier whispers over a shot of Geralt cooking dinner, strong hands handling the knives with ease Jaskier will never possess-- 

“It’s strange because you’ve known your body all this time and suddenly you don’t - you feel like you’ve stepped into your childhood home after someone else has moved in, or after it’s been abandoned. You recognize it, but not really. It’s yours and it’s not. You don’t understand, but it’s happening and you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.” 

Jaskier enters the shot, leaning up against the counter and smiling crookedly at Geralt, the camera panning over to focus on his face-- 

His smile falls when Geralt looks away from him, his eyes sad, searching the man’s face, running over his profile-- 

“And I swore I’d tell you before the time ran out. I didn’t know when that would be, but I’d tell you. And I think, maybe, I kept putting it off because I felt selfish for it.” 

Jaskier looks away and pushes off the counter, steps past the camera-- 

Geralt turns to look after him and suddenly-- 

Jaskier croons a soft, slow, and sweet song about a man who smiles like the sun, a man with honey gold eyes, a man with calloused hands he wanted to hold-- 

Geralt stands in the evening, nearly grey hair painted yellow as the sun began to dip, eyes the same as they glance at the camera-- 

A shot of hooves as they cover the grassy ground of the pasture, called in for the night--

Jaskier croons about standing so close, of touches and shared laughter, of yearning and it being okay because he knew-- 

The man with honey gold eyes cared in his own way, showed it in his tolerance for too many words, in his gifts, in the way he cooked dinner for him always--

Geralt guides the horses to their stalls, feeds them, shots of his hands working stall doors shut-- 

And Jaskier-- 

Jaskier watching from the door of the barn, leaning up against it with a glass of water in his hand, Geralt’s hands waving him away any time he tried to help-- 

Jaskier turns to walk back towards the house and he stumbles-- 

The glass hits the dirt-- 

And suddenly he’s in that black room again, expression empty as the glass splinters, water spreads across the floor--

The song dissolves into acoustic plucking, Jaskier making the strings work for him as if they were a voice, too--

“You didn’t understand. I didn’t either, really. I don’t really tend to be an angry or bitter man, not truly. Resigned at times, perhaps, but not furious. But I was on the bad nights, when my voice wouldn’t come. When it felt like shards of glass in my throat. It felt like the world was keeping that, too.”

Jaskier crouches, pokes at the pieces of glass--

He picks a piece up, opens his mouth, sets it on his tongue--

“I thought a lot about what I might have done differently.”

The shot is the same, but it’s in the kitchen, Jaskier pressing a piece of strawberry to his mouth instead. 

“I kept thinking that I should have told you. A long time ago, I should have told you - before I left to tour, maybe. Earlier than that?” 

Jaskier grins at their dining table, the shot changing to the plate of strawberries before him, sliced into manageable pieces by Geralt-- 

“I almost did, once. We were sitting on that shitty apartment’s couch - you remember that apartment. I swear it haunts my dreams sometimes. I was picking out whatever filled the cushions through the hole worn on the right side and I watched you rant about one of the rich clients that boarded their horse at the ranch. I wanted to kiss you so much.” 

A sigh. 

The shot changes to Geralt rolling his eyes, but smiling as well, absently tucking his hair behind his ear - the shot slows for a moment, the motion examined-- 

“I didn’t. I don’t know why I didn’t.” 

Jaskier’s next song is more upbeat, though it picked up pace slowly. 

This is all metaphors, sunflowers reaching for the light, rocks smoothed by a river-- 

It’s all what Geralt did to him, does to him-- 

How he does not know but he makes Jaskier better at the same time that he aches--

Jaskier rides a horse here, tacks her up, rides alone-- 

He pauses to watch a bird sing, before taking flight, wonder clear on his face--

A shot of Geralt reaching for Roach, her muzzle bumping his hand lightly-- 

The song ends abruptly, and it’s suddenly just Roach standing there, flicking her tail boredly, ears swiveling about as she listened. 

“You asked me to stay.” Jaskier whispers, in the same tone that he talked about cancer. 

“And I did. Of course I did. But I knew you were afraid even if you wouldn’t say it. And I couldn’t tell you, but I think you knew, then. I think you knew.” 

Jaskier breathes in and then-- 

I love you more than the my ribs can hold, he strums the guitar gently-- 

It’s a tender love song about a cowboy who went grey early, who liked his coffee with milk and sugar on good mornings, who had warm hands-- 

It’s the single that he released originally, but a bit slower, a bit softer here in the context-- 

And it’s the porch, the stars, rocking chairs, a glass of whiskey, a glass of water, hands gesturing, smiles, wrecked looks, a guitar-- 

Snippets upon snippets of all the little things that Jaskier loves-- 

“They told me I was cancer free on a Thursday.” Jaskier confides, over the shot of a rising sun. 

“I laughed at first, and then I cried. It didn’t feel real. And I didn’t want to go back to the spotlight, not yet. I had missed you. Missed the domestic. You asked me to stay, and you didn’t tell me to go so I didn’t. I worked on getting better. I worked on processing that I didn’t have a finish line anymore. At least one not right in front of me.” 

Jaskier stands in the black room. 

Fog swirls around his feet. 

The sound of Geralt’s voice, muffled, floats in from the right, and then the left, surrounding--

“And more than anything in the whole world, I wanted to tell you. And I did. That all of it was for you.” 

Jaskier runs-- 

He runs for the far side of the room, braces his shoulder, breaks through a door that wasn’t visible before--

The ranch sprawls before him and Geralt startles a little where he stands on the front porch-- 

The door of the little ranch house flung open as Jaskier pants at the threshold, eyes wide--

Jaskier sings something more powerful than the rest, reaches for Geralt, wraps his hands in his sweaty shirt--

He hadn’t taken his evening shower yet-- 

The light paints them gold--

Jaskier’s voice breaks on the big note and he leaves it in because this whole album is imperfect, things are wrong, but it’s his story and it matters-- 

And he sings forever--

He catches his breath after the song is over, strong arms wrapped around him, pressed against Geralt’s chest--

“I didn’t know you read poetry, but you did for me, one night. It was by Mary Oliver.” 

A shot of Jaskier’s scratchy, loopy script-- 

A shot of papers spread across the floor-- 

A shot of Geralt pressing a kiss to the top of his head as he navigated the mess-- 

“And I’m terrified to release this. You haven’t even heard all of the inbetweens. But, cowboy, I keep thinking of your voice when you read it. How the final verse sounded on your tongue--” 

Geralt’s voice overruns his for a moment, a gruff thing, low-- 

“Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing. And gave it up. And took my old body and went out into the morning, and sang.” 

It’s a bit monotone, a bit straight from the page, a bit stiff, unused to being recorded, but it’s there, it’s his voice, it’s clear-- 

“And so I’m going to sing and tell the world about it all because life is too short for anything else.” 

Jaskier’s last song leans towards his old pop records, bubbly and bright, but it’s acoustic, stays true to the sound-- 

And there’s smiles, and boots, and breakfast-- 

There’s Roach, and some of the other horses, flashes of kids and trail rides-- 

Geralt’s cowboy hat-- 

Jaskier stealing said hat-- 

Geralt yanking him in by his belt loops to kiss him-- 

The sun rising-- 

And the visuals fade to white from the light hitting the camera--

Jaskier dissolves into humming the upbeat tune, a sound that turns into bright laughter and a muffled-- 

“Geralt.” 

Tracklist:

Time (Like Glass Is Fragile)

Honey Gold Pt. 2

Earthen

My Ribcage (You Live There)

To Breathe Once More (For You)

Who Do I Thank For Cowboys?

Runtime: 35-45 minutes

[camillemontespan]

ten years from now [AU. drake walker x camille montespan] [part eighteen: mojitos and sunrises]

@ibldw-main  @pug-bitch​  @jovialyouthmusic​ @katedrakeohd​ @rainbowsinthestorm​ @emichelle​ @dcbbw​ @sirbeepsalot​ @notoriouscs​ @burnsoslow​ @marshmallowsaremyfavorite​ @gardeningourmet​ @pedudley​ @marshmallowsandfire​ @princessleac1​  @simplymissjulia​ @kingliam2019​

'So let me get this straight,' Riley said, her blue eyes boring into Liam's. 'You were engaged to this girl Camille, about to get married in a few months at the Met, and you both visited her hometown in Texas to invite her old friends and see her grandmother. While there, she was reunited with her ex-best friend who turned out to also be her ex boyfriend who she lost her virginity to, and she fucked him. You were oblivious. Then you both come back to New York, she meets up with the ex boyfriend across town and fucks him again. Then her grandmother has a fall and Camille goes back to Texas to see her in hospital. When she comes back to New York, you are making her favourite dinner in a bid to apologise for not being able to leave work to go to Texas when she bursts into tears and tells you that she fucked the ex boyfriend twice and kissed him in some sort of maze.. You walk out and now the wedding is off. Have I got all that right?'

Liam nodded. 'That's it.' 

Riley stared at him. 'What a fucking bitch.' 

Liam let out a surprised laugh. 'Wow, don't hold back.' 

'But she is!' Riley cried, indignation flooding her face. 'You're a nice guy and from what you've told me, you did everything to keep her happy. You sent her grandma roses! Like, you are the ideal husband! But she gave that up to have dirty hotel room sex with her redneck cowboy ex boyfriend who she dated ten years ago!'

Liam sipped his scotch and shrugged. ‘Pretty much,’ he said. ‘Though he wasn’t a redneck-’

‘He slept with your fiancee, trust me, he is a redneck,’ Riley interrupted, her nose flaring. She shook her head. ‘What an asshole.’

Liam raised an eyebrow. ‘You’re quite opinionated, aren’t you?’

Riley sipped her drink and regarded Liam with a cool expression. They were the only ones left out of their colleagues; everyone else had gone home. But Liam and Riley had gotten more drinks and Riley had listened as Liam told her about his recent woes. 

‘What you see is what you get with me,’ Riley told him. ‘I don’t sugarcoat anything. I’m 100% honest. It scares some people..’

‘I think it’s refreshing,’ Liam assured her. ‘I like it.’

Riley’s cheeks turned pink as she cast her eyes down to study her glass. Liam smiled and gestured to the waitress for another two drinks. 

‘So you’ve heard my story,’ Liam said. ‘What’s yours?’

Riley squared her shoulders and looked at him straight on. ‘What do you want to know?’

‘Just tell me about you. Where you’re from, family, dating history, college?’

Riley rolled her eyes. ‘Okay, so I’m from Jersey-’

Liam winced. Riley laughed. ‘Oh, I know. I know. So yeah, I’m from Jersey.  I have two older brothers but we don’t speak anymore. Three ex boyfriends - I dumped them.  I attended Art School and graduated with distinction.’

Liam’s eyes widened. ‘Oh wow. So why are you working on Wall Street if you’re an artist?’

The waitress dropped off their two new drinks which Riley took gratefully. She took a long sip and smacked her cherry lips together. Liam’s eyes flicked to her bottom lip; he quickly looked away. 

‘Because the money is fucking good,’ she answered bluntly. ‘Why do you work on Wall Street?’

Liam blinked. A slow smile formed on his face and he chuckled. ‘Because the money is fucking good.’

Riley raised her glass and clinked it against Liam’s. ‘Let’s toast to money.’

‘To money,’ Liam said grandly. ‘Though it isn’t the be and end all.’

Riley rolled her eyes. ‘Fine. It’s not. But it does let us buy all the drinks we want and that is what matters.’

Liam laughed and tossed the scotch down his throat. Riley regarded him silently, her eyebrow quirking up; she looked quite mischievous. 

‘I have a guilty pleasure,’ she said in a low voice. ‘Do you promise not to judge me if I tell you it?’

Liam smiled. ‘Tell me.’

Riley drained the last of her scotch. ‘I love karaoke bars..’

Liam threw his head back as he laughed. ‘Oh god, you’re so not cool,’ he teased.

‘I know I’m not!’ Riley cried. ‘I never try to be. I love karaoke bars. Wanna come to one with me?’

‘I don’t sing-’

‘Doesn’t matter,’ Riley interrupted. ‘It’s fun.’

‘I can’t..’

Riley sighed. She looked at Liam with a steady stare, clearly not taking any of his excuses. ‘When was the last time you did something that was fun?’ she asked. ‘That was new? That forced you to just let go?’

Liam considered her question. He couldn’t remember. His life had been a conveyor belt of early mornings, late nights in the office and trying to make Camille happy.  

He sighed. ‘Fine. Let’s go to a karaoke bar..’

Riley stood up and dragged him to his feet. ‘No need to act like you’re heading for your execution,’ she quipped. ‘Come on, I know a place two blocks from here.’

Liam followed her out of the bar towards the karaoke bar that was lit up in neon.  As he listened to Riley talk incessantly,he felt like he was leaving behind a life of grey and was now entering a world of colour. 

*********************************************

Liam and Riley were now hammered on mojitos. They had hired a private room for an hour and Riley had squealed in excitement when she saw that there was a dressing up box for customers to rifle through. She threw a feather boa around Liam’s shoulders, telling him that he looked fabulous.

He watched her as she sang along to Total Eclipse of the Heart, badly. But she didn’t care. She belted out the ballad, closing her eyes and swaying, even raising her fist in the air like the diva she was. Liam had laughed and enjoyed watching her. He felt relaxed. He had even loosened his tie.

‘Okay, your go!’ Riley said, throwing herself down on the velvet booth next to him. ‘Entertain me!’

Liam groaned but he still stood up to look through the catalogue. He considered his options before throwing caution to the wind.

Riley’s eyes widened as she heard the opening bars. ‘Oh my god..’

Liam threw his shoulders back and adopted a haughty pose. He wrapped the feather boa around his neck and placed a bowler hat on his head, keeping his eyes to the floor as he waited for his line.

‘At first I was afraid, I was petrified...kept thinking I could never live without you by my side..’

Riley clapped her hands, laughing as she watched Liam start the song.

But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong, and I grew strong and I learned how to get along.. FROM OUTER SPACE!’

Liam twirled on his foot, the feather boa flying around him as he started to strut drunkenly across the room, swinging his hips.

‘I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face, I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key..’

‘YEAH BABY!’ Riley shouted, pointing at him. ‘You tell her!’

Liam continued to sing. He became more extravagant as the song went on; he twirled; he spun; he pointed at Riley; he tossed his hat in the air and caught it. For some reason, he had abandoned his usual quiet persona and was now this ridiculous, camp performer. But he didn’t care. He was enjoying himself. He felt alive.

He looked at Riley, who was watching him in wonder, and gave her a wink. She blushed.

Liam grinned and continued to dance and sing, his voice growing in confidence and volume. For the first time in what felt like forever, he felt like he had unlocked the old Liam. The Liam who used to go out and have fun. The Liam who enjoyed life. The Liam before he became a Wall Street minion. The Liam before he got cheated on. The Liam before he met Camille.

He felt happy.

*********************************

Drake opened his eyes. As his vision adjusted, he realised he was lying on the couch with Camille curled up against him. For a moment, he smiled, his heart flipped and he felt content. Until he realised that he had accidently fallen asleep and was in Camille’s grandmother’s house. 

He glanced at the clock on the wall. 6am.

‘Shit!’ he hissed, bolting up. Camille jumped, her eyes opening as he disturbed her slumber. Yawning, she looked up and visibly reeled back when she saw that she had been sleeping beside him.

‘Drake!’

‘We fell asleep,’ Drake told her. ‘Fuck, I should go. It’s 6am..’

Camille jumped to her feet. Her dark hair was tousled and she had sleep in her eyes; she looked perfectly imperfect. Drake’s heart flipped again but he pushed it down as he stood up and arranged the cushions on the couch so Gisele wouldn’t have to tidy up after them. 

‘Sorry,’ Camille whispered. ‘I didn’t realise we had fallen asleep. Must have been the whiskey.’

Drake sighed. ‘It’s alright, my fault too. Heh. Anyway, I should go..’

Camille followed him silently out of the living room, wrapping her arms around her body. She unlocked the front door; the sun was beginning to rise, casting a golden glow. She smiled up at Drake. ‘Thank you for tending to the roses,’ she said. ‘I really appreciate it.’

Drake smiled bashfully. ‘Happy to help,’ he told her. He moved to leave the house but stopped short when he looked up at the morning sky. He cast a look back at Camille who was leaning against the threshold, looking slightly embarrassed. 

‘Do you want to watch the sunrise with me?’ he asked without thinking. ‘The lake will look gorgeous right now.’

Camille tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled down at the floor. ‘I’d like that,’ she murmured. ‘That sounds.. Perfect.’

Drake grinned and held out his hand for her to take. Camille took his hand, her hands soft and small in his, and together they wandered up the road towards the ranch. Drake smiled to himself as he kept repeating the mantra ‘baby steps’ in his mind. Baby steps. Baby steps. 

**************************************

The water was glimmering gold. Camille let out a gasp as she took in the sunrise and how beautiful it was. She sat down on the jetty with Drake beside her and they watched the sun slowly come up, greeting the day. 

‘This is beautiful,’ Camille whispered. She cast a look at Drake and reached out to take his hand. ‘Thanks for inviting me to see it.’

Drake blushed. The sunrise had cast his face in a golden glow; his brown eyes changed colour in the light, turning green, which meant his eyes were always a surprise.  Camille loved Drake’s eyes. He was smiling as if he couldn’t believe his luck, the kind of smile that made the butterflies in Camille’s stomach start fluttering wildly, and a strand of his dark hair fell over his left eye, making him look shy and awkward. He looked like the boy she had known all those years ago. But when he turned to look at her, Camille could now see the man he had grown into and she couldn’t help but feel the butterflies flutter even more. 

‘I love watching the sunrise,’ he told her. ‘It’s peaceful. If you want.. We could do this again?’

Camille smiled. ‘I’d love that.’

Drake gently wrapped his arm around her shoulder and brought her in close to him; Camille inhaled his scent. He smelled of whiskey and the forest. He smelled like home. 

[doctorhawke]

all six of my oc hawkes in one big thing, i have an au where they are all a big happy family and run amok in kirkwall

below the cut theres “brief” bios for them all (including their names because my renditions of their handwriting might not be very legible) and a little chart showing more insight into their personality makeup

all the ages are from act 1, after a year in kirkwall, relative to carver and bethany’s 20 (fyi they both survive in this au and both become grey wardens. cannot IMAGINE that any of these hawkes would let one of their littlest siblings fight an ogre 1v1 when theres literally eight of them lmfao they tag team it like they do everything)

steve hawke- he/him, age 27, adopted by the hawkes at 8. steve is a mage, a healer, and a pacifist. as such when there are fights he will focus on incapacitating enemies without harming them (force magic and mind blast comes in handy) and especially on supporting the team through healing. he’s gay and immediately takes to anders, mainly because he spends a lot of time helping in his clinic. 

he strongly believes in mage rights especially as malcolm imparted a lot of responsibility on him towards his younger mage siblings, nyx and bethany. he’s protective and a bit of a worrier, though as time goes on in kirkwall he becomes more and more exhausted, and starts to cope through making light of things. post-game, he and anders are on the run. 

—————————

kit hawke- he/him, age 24, bio kid, and a dual-wielding rogue. he’s bold, charming, and a bit of a pessimist- all of which kirkwall amplifies by virtue of being a crazy fucking city. kit is also pretty business minded and usually spearheads bone pit related shenanigans. varric (who deeply cares for all the hawkes of course) immediately takes to him and the two are inseparable. 

kit is bi, and likes to have fun, though over time he falls for both isabela and fenris, and over time the three get together and become the most impressive trio you ever saw. all kit’s siblings are kind of like “are you serious dude, we have a limited number of friends and you end up with two of them? what about the rest of us” but considering the amount of drama and heartbreak kit undergoes over the years in relation to his love life, they all kind of figure he’s earned the happy ending. post-game the three of them become pirates on isabela’s ship and free slaves in between tracking down hidden treasure or whatever it is that pirates do, and they eventually have adorable baby twins. 

—————————-

syl hawke- she/her, age 26, bio kid but only leandra’s, she actually is varric’s half sibling (though she does NOT know this and the sibling rivalry that develops upon them meeting is incomprehensible to the both of them). so syl is the shortest of the bunch, and looks a lot more like varric and bartrand than kit, carver, or bethany, despite them all being related. 

syl’s the only warrior of the group (other than carver- a dynamic duo), fights with hammers exclusively, and has a tendency to be super intense. she doesn’t really get humor at all, in the rare case that she accidentally makes a joke and people laugh she assumes they’re laughing AT her. she’s also very shoot first and ask questions later, and the only hawke more protective than steve is. her big sister energy is off the charts and she’s prepared to kill any templar that so much as looks at her family. as such she’s staunchly pro-mage.

she’s a lesbian and has massive game despite not really being any good at flirting- it’s probably her sheer intensity. she and isabela have a brief fling, tallis is very taken with her, and she has a rivalry-fueled sexual tension with aveline for ages (the long road is a VERY fun quest to play through with syl). however she was always very supportive of and close with merrill and eventually the two fall in love. once they’re together they’re insanely sweet and have mega chemistry and i love them so fucking much. post-game they’re forced to leave kirkwall but end up living in the denerim alienage.

—————————-

lith hawke- she/her, age 25, adopted by the hawkes at 9 along with her twin nyx. an archer rogue, with speed taking precedence over power or precision. lith is a lot to take in okay. she’s the only one who’s pro-templar in the group, and is a rabid andrastian. back home in lothering her chantry beliefs were instrumental in keeping her family safe, as she not only knew every templar by name (as the whole family did) but also is endlessly trustworthy to them and to all the chantry sisters and mothers. countless times a templar might have come calling to take away one of her siblings or her father, but was dissuaded by lith- after all, little lith hawke would NEVER help hide apostates, right?

she supports her siblings because she believes that in the end their souls will be saved. (the only thing that freaks her out more than nyx’s blood magic is when syl casually drops that she’s thinking about converting to merrill’s religion.) she doesn’t trust mages if they aren’t related to her, and always advocates for the circle when given the chance. she’s best friends with fenris and they hang out a lot, more and more as the years pass. since merrill and anders both move into the hawke estate (which was already a bit of a circus, can you imagine the chaos?) lith finds herself more and more outnumbered ideologically and often escapes to fenris’ mansion for some quiet. 

during the endgame, she sides against her family and the mages. she basically has a villainous breakdown. she helps them kill meredith and once it’s revealed that meredith had been influenced by the lyrium idol, lith’s whole worldview is pretty much shattered. post-game she leaves the city and seeks out her cousin, ash amell (i have eight wardens so im not going to get into this but basically my amell and my cousland (eve) are in a gay throuple with leliana and its dope as all hell). spending time with ash, eve, and leliana is very healing for her, but all her siblings assume she’s dead and she doesn’t see them for years after kirkwall. 

—————————-

nyx hawke- they/them, age 25, adopted by the hawkes at 9 along with their twin lith. nyx is the blood mage of the group, and is an absolute icon quite frankly. they’re very chaotic, and especially close with kit, merrill, and isabela. nyx has a ton of fun fighting, and they and syl make an especially good team in combat. nyx always looks up to syl and its very sweet, and syl is the only one in the family who never once messed up nyx’s pronouns (everyone is very good about this of course, and by kirkwall its a non-issue, but even lith slipped up once or twice early on). 

they have very noodly arms because they’ve never had to worry about fighting hand to hand when running out of mana, because of the blood magic. this leads to quite a bit of teasing but tbh they pull it off. nyx is bi and has a thing with isabela for a short while but in the end they’re better as best friends. 

nyx and lith are very close. they’re often perfectly in sync when doing things, especially in combat, and have that twin esp thing going on which can get spooky at times. however they also bicker a lot, and obviously clash on ideology pretty much constantly. though this is the norm nyx always assumed they would have each other’s backs no matter what when it came down to the nitty gritty, and lith’s betrayal during the endgame is really heartbreaking for them. 

over the years anders and nyx do a lot of collaborating when it comes to mage rights. they help him polish his manifesto, and smuggle mages out of the gallows. the only real reason nyx isn’t brought into the loop on the chantry explosion was a mixtures of anders’ crushing guilt and his knowledge that if he told nyx and not steve, steve would be really hurt. (however he couldn’t tell steve because he didn’t want the deaths to be on steve’s conscience- anders knows he definitely would have helped if it came down to that). post-game nyx goes on to be one of the leaders of the mage rebellion.

—————————-

lou hawke- he/him, age 22, adopted by the hawkes at 10. hes a cowboy and i love him. an archer rogue, he prioritizes powerful firing over speed or precision. he’s a massive sweetheart, terminally polite, and has massive ears that he’s self-conscious of and tries to cover with his hair. however whenever his hair gets long enough to cover them leandra starts poking and prodding him to get a trim and he’s always too soft to refuse for long, beginning the cycle again (and after leandra is murdered he always keeps his hair to her liking- he gets weepy if it grows too long). he’s the only hawke i’ve drawn without his in-game outfit because this fucking game doesn’t have cowboy hats or cute shirts with tassles and i do what i want. 

lou also plays instruments, he’s got a guitar and a harmonica and plays the piano passably. he IS the piano man in the eyes of the hanged man’s patrons. sing us a song, they tell him, etc. he manages ten minutes of harmonica in the deep roads, citing excellent acoustics, until anders tells him to stop because the darkspawn will hear. when the hawkes get rich lou buys a horse and goes for morning rides out on the wounded coast. 

lou is bi, and runs around for years with a massive crush on isabela but that doesn’t exactly work out. he ends up with jethann (theres a lot of lore here but suffice it to say its extremely tender) and post-game they leave kirkwall and end up owning a ranch not far outside denerim. lou hires lots of farmhands that end up looking to him as a father figure and its super sweet, and jethann refuses to do manual labor. 

—————————-

this got insanely long i am SO sorry flkjsdlkgjlkcxjglsfkd

feel free to send any asks relating to them because i really love this family so much and could talk about them forever dlfskjlxcjglskd if you couldnt tell from this diatribe

[jlf23tumble]

Fic rec anon here, and I'm blanking in the moment! I know you have a lot of recs and I love them all. Maybe your favourite AUs? Broadly speaking? Seeing some of them might help jog me into more specific categories ! xx

Gotcha, sort of like my prison rec list, only I like to think of it more in terms of what would I have on my phone to read when I’m bored and traveling, lol. Obvs, this sort of list is super hard, but having it focused on AUs kinda helps? At any rate, this isn’t a deep dive, it’s just my top level, so hopefully it’ll spark you. These are in no particular order, so come back if you want more!

Tuxedo Dress-Up, by Blake (honestly, ANYTHING in this fandom by Blake, I file this one under hot and hilarious, but every line is just swooooon). Louis is an aspiring song writer by day, a makeup artist for drag queens by night, and masquerading as a full-time real estate agent for his third most famous (and first most handsome) client Harry Styles.Or, five times they fail to fuck in a closet, and one time they get it right.

Once Upon a Dream, by objectlesson (again, ANYTHING by Phoenix, and most of it is canon, but where to even start with her AUs, jesus god, I struggled to rec just one, so I went with the AU she gifted me, ilu!!!!). “M’not gonna half-ass our fake relationship,” Louis almost snaps, voice sharp with a defensive edge, like Harry wandered too close to a bruise with needy fingers. “Now kiss me again. We’re gonna make every shitty tourist here wish they had stayed in the Midwest. We’re gonna burn Disneyland down with our gay.” Or, a fake dating AU where everyone is lying and they happen to be at the Happiest Place on Earth.

knock knock, i love you, by @thelovejandles aka beautlouis (another one of my fave authors in this fandom, proof that wips DO finish, and they’re absolutely worth it). Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.

Tied Down, by @ham-palpert (the twists and turns here, my goddd, just masterful) The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. The investigation yields an unexpected yet satisfactory outcome for Liam and Niall. For Harry and Louis, however, things are far more complicated.

Alien Roadtrip! by @helloamhere (needs ao3 account; I love desert roadtrips, and this captures that vibe perfectly, plus it’s hilarious). For the first time in his life, Louis doesn’t know where he’s going. Harry doesn’t mind. Or, a roadtrip with desert feelings, too much snack food, and empty motels. Harry is definitely absolutely not an alien. That would be ridiculous.

Harry Styles Cooks..., by @magicalrocketships aka sunsetsmog (aka the very best wip on earth, I weep with joy whenever I get the notif). In which Louis Tomlinson can’t cook, there’s a very special shower curtain, and Harry Styles used to be a baker. Or Louis owns all of Harry Styles’ cookbooks, and he never intends to cook a single thing out of any of them.

just call me inspiration, by @hereforlou (in which I *am* Liam Payne, porn editor!) The truth is Louis knows he’s going to hell, if there is such a thing, but it isn’t because he writes erotic fiction for a living. If anything, it’s because his muse, the reason he’s inspired to write about people shagging in increasingly creative ways everyday, is the sweetest, loveliest, most genuine (and completely oblivious) future children-book illustrator in the world.

Buried Like Treasure, by @becomeawendybird aka quickedween (marcel marcel marcel!!!). Prince Harry Styles is very private. He chooses to keep himself out of the public eye but feels lonely and isolated while surrounded by people in his hectic royal life. When he finishes his dissertation, he decides to take a solo holiday to one of the royal family's properties in the Swiss Alps. Semi-retired thief Louis Tomlinson has been pulled in for one last job: steal a painting from an uninhabited mansion. Neither one of them expects a natural disaster.

into another serotonin overflow, by @mercutionotromeo (this story packs a LOT into a little, it helped inspire my sideblog with smaller fic recs, actually). Harry's the yearbook photographer who's been assigned to take pictures of Louis, the new captain of the football team. Harry's got a massive, obvious crush on Louis and somehow, Louis feels the same way.

Turning Page, by @daisyharry aka purpledaisy (pretty much every on-set picture I see of Harry these days just makes me tag it for this fic). “You wanna buy Harry a drink?” Louis lets his eyes drip back to Harry, to his wide eyes and the way his shoulders curve down. He really is pretty – Louis will be the first one to admit it and the last one to ever say it out loud. Louis almost smirks and his lips twitch as he tilts his head, “Not particularly, no.” An AU where Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been. Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

hush. by wankerville (this story is achingly evocative of just about every shitty small American town, but my god is it beautiful, the sweetness of how it ends). “I don't like you like that, Harry.” “See,” Harry starts, Louis can hear the smile in his voice, “that's where I think you're lying.” Or an AU where small towns suck, louis is losing it, and harry’s just too perfect.

Three French Hems, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (I wish I could pick just ONE of my top three from these two, but alas...do persimmons smell like come? discuss).  In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

Thought the Song Was Sung, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (see above, pretty much, and how happy I am that the tweets still show up! with Dame Julie Andrews even!!). Louis never auditioned for the X-Factor. Years later, Harry's just another gay ex-boybander who lives alone with his cat... until Niall decides to take matters into his own hands and set up a profile for Harry on a dating website.

Wild and Unruly, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (Iconic, even the abstract is iconic, everything still holds up. oh for cute, etc. etc.). Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

Are You Gonna Be My Girl? by loadedgunn (another one that inspired my sideblog dedicated to short fics! So much greatness packed in, Jesus, it’s in my top five for sure). Louis reenacts his first time, and Harry wants to be his good girl.

“burn this flame” by @rainbowninja aka rainbowninja167 (anytime I reread this, I smile...filed under hot and hilarious). When Harry gets invited to play in a celebrity charity match with Louis Tomlinson, Manchester United's star player, he's determined to impress him with brilliant football skills. The only flaw in Harry's otherwise foolproof plan? He has absolutely no football skills, brilliant or otherwise.

Challenging Nature: A Look into Male Lactation, by @jaerie (hands down, one of my fave kinks, handled fantastically well...and this isn’t the author’s only one!).  Even taking into account all the bizarre things Harry has subjected himself to in the past for the sake of an article, Harry has received his strangest assignment yet. It comes up as a random misunderstanding in a meeting and builds into a conversation — can men breastfeed? Internet searches reveal documented cases of male lactation popping up at different times throughout history, but are any of them true? Can a man will himself into lactating? Harry has two months to make it happen.

like how your hands feel me up and down, by ballsdeepinjesus (this author wrote a lot of my faves back in the day, I have so many ~thoughts about the amazing writers in this particular era). “It’s -- you’re tight,” Louis chokes. “It’s tight, I mean. It’s. Yes.” His hand is curved around his hip now, squeezing lightly. “Tight’s good, right?” Harry murmurs, batting his eyelashes. He almost can’t believe himself. “Very good,” Louis grunts. Or louis works in a halloween shop and harry needs a costume.

baby look what you've done to me, by ballsdeepinjesus (see above; even the username kills me). The next day kind of turns everything upside down, though. Louis gets another lingerie catalogue addressed to Harry. He’s about to toss it when he sees a personalized note stuck to the front; it thanks Harry for his previous purchases and offers him a complimentary six-month subscription to their magazine free of charge. Or louis moves into harry's old flat. harry gets a lot of mail.

Take Our Bodies Higher, by @littlelouishiccups (I’m something of a connoisseur of the phone sex trope, so the way this author flips it and makes *Harry* the operator plus what ensues? chef’s kiss!). Harry wasn’t often caught off guard at his job anymore. He called different men Sir, Master, or Daddy for work almost every week, but he’d never been told he was a good boy in a voice quite like that. In which Harry is a phone sex operator and Louis dials a wrong number.

Make a Dime Go One Hundred, by @screwstyles (I’d rec this for their jobs alone, but everything in it, just wow). “Do you think you could trust anyone enough to have full control over you?” he asks into the night, hoping his sentence won’t break their bubble. It doesn’t, if the way Harry’s eyes meet his is any indication.“What do you mean?” Harry’s voice is barely above a whisper, rough from the singing they had done earlier. Louis wants to keep this memory forever.“You know, if someone wanted to, uhm,” he coughs, “to tie you up, or blindfold you.” Or a friends to lovers AU where Harry volunteers to help Louis experiment with bondage. Things don’t go exactly to plan.

it ain't trickin' if ya got it, by sarcasticfluentry (needs ao3 account; I often stare at the wall and wonder what another installment in this universe would be, fuckkkkk, it’s so good, I only wish the social media was still in it). 28-year-old blockbuster actor Louis Tomlinson rushes home to give his 20-year-old model boyfriend Harry a good seeing-to after a particularly provocative Instagram post and, in his excitement, alerts the entire world. Featuring daddy kink, anal beads, and feelings.

If You Asked Me if I Love Him (I'd Lie), by allyasavedtheday (needs an ao3 account; it’s a sequel, but I reread it over and over vs. the first piece).  Or the one where Harry and Louis eloped but neglected to mention it to anyone. Meanwhile Lottie is getting married and the only way for them to not steal her thunder is by pretending they're just friends for the weekend. Featuring Harry and Louis as terrible liars who don't know the meaning of the word platonic and some Tomlinsons and Styleses who definitely don't believe them.

Damn, I could go on, but I’ll stop! My sideblog dedicated to short fics is @marathonficbreak, and it has some smaller ones, if this is too intimidating, lmao...hope some of them are new for you, enjoy!

[darkangeldesignstudio]

Dark Horse

Sorry for the late post....self doubt had me by the throat this weekend and I just couldn’t get out of my own head enough to post this on Saturday. I hope you guys like this one, even though it might be a bit cheesy with the musical number. I just couldn't get this idea out of my head. Reblog/comment as you will. I am needy :)

Chapter Eleven: I’ll Always Love You

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Death, Attempted Rape, Strong Language, Mentions of Animal Abuse, and Eventual Smut and Fluff

Setting: Post Civil War era USA. Marvel Cowboy AU.

Preface: Your home is attacked by the Hydra gang and you are rescued by Steve, Bucky, and their group. The government agency, known as Shield, wants them captured and Hydra wants them dead. With nowhere else to go, you join their ragtag group and set out on the adventure of a lifetime. Helping those less fortunate along the way, your small group grows and so does your affection for these two rough and tumble outlaws. When the chips are down, will you all be able to escape unscathed? Or will the boot drop and leave you heartbroken and alone again?

Song: Forever Country by Artists of Then, Now and Forever

Previous / Next

Steve had left you to wait with Natasha, expecting you had a plan to cheer her up while he caught a few more minutes of rest while the rain poured. He wasn’t expecting to fall asleep, but exhaustion gripped him tightly and the sound of rain drowned out his inner musings.

He woke to the sound of laughter and whispering outside his shared tent. Turning to look at Bucky, he saw the small smile on his partner’s face as he sat up from his bedroll. The laughter was musical as it approached his tent; the flap opening just a smidge as Y/N poked her head in and immediately blushed a bright red.

Her eyes were wide, roving over his and Bucky’s bare chests before she could stop herself. Bucky chuckled behind his hand. “See something you like, Doll?”

You eeped a little sound before backing out of the tent in a rush. “Sorry.”

Buck and Steve laughed heartily before pulling themselves up and dressing for the day. The air was warmer, despite this morning’s rainfall. The sun beamed down at them through the trees, quickly drying the ground that it touched. They both watched as you and Natasha roused everyone from their sleep.

It was good to see you both having fun and it brought a particularly wicked grin to both of their faces when Nat walked towards Tony’s tent with a bucket of water. She smirked at them when she passed. “You two embarrassed Y/N something fierce earlier. Let me guess, sleeping shirtless again?”

Bucky chuckled even as a blush climbed his cheeks. “Maybe.”

“You’re welcome.” She sing-songed, giggling before glancing at Steve.

Her eyes softened a bit as she nodded her thanks. Not needing words to convey her gratitude. Apparently she hadn’t been sleeping all that deeply while he had told you her story.

He nodded back to her before going with Bucky to clean up the campsite. A few moments later, a high-pitched yell emerged from Tony’s tent. Everyone had a good laugh as you and Natasha ran from Tony, soaked to the bone from head to toe.

_______________________________________________________________________

After waking up the rest of the group and laughing a bit at Tony’s expense. You had all pitched in to cleaning up the camp while Tony grumbled and groaned about his rude awakening. It didn’t take long before you were all on the road once again.

Bruce and Jarvis rode together, chatting quietly as their wagon filled with supplies bumped along the trail. Pepper and Natasha took up the reins of their second cart, riding just behind Tony on Mark II.

Despite his earlier grumbling, Tony was fairly chipper as he chatted away with Pepper, flirting mercilessly as she rolled her eyes in exasperation.

During the first few hours of your ride, Natasha had been chipper as well. Chatting with Steve as you and Bucky rode ahead with Soldat. But she had grown quiet over the last few minutes, her eyes becoming increasingly clouded.

Everyone else seemed to notice as well and the ride became melancholy and silent the farther along the road you traveled. It pained your heart to see your newfound sister so down. Even Boda seemed affected by the surrounding mood.

Bucky shifted Sergeant towards you before reaching out to place a hand on your knee. “Steve told me what happened. I wish I knew how to help, too. She’s always been like a little sister to me, but even I don’t know what to do.”

You sighed, placing your hand on top of his. “Nothing can replace what she lost, Bucky. Just like nothing can replace what I lost, or what you and Steve lost. I wish I would have never suggested we go this way.”

He gripped your knee, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to get your attention as he tried to pull your head out of those dark thoughts. “Hey. It’s not your fault. Besides, this is the quickest way to get where we are going. Nat recognized that, that’s why she agreed to come with us, even though it might hurt to be here again.”

It was in that moment that a thought came to you. “I think it’s about time we gave her something back. Something to wash away the bad.” You smiled brightly up at Bucky’s confused expression. “Thank you, Bucky. I have the perfect idea.”

Drifting to the side, you kissed his cheek before turning Boda back towards Pepper and Natasha. He touched his cheek, a blush creeping up his neck as he watched you ride away. Turning back to the road ahead, he missed the happy smile that alighted on Steve’s face.

_______________________________________________________________________

Trotting up to Pepper’s side of the wagon you smiled when she peered up at you. “Hey, Pep? Do you happen to know any traveling songs? It’s a tad boring riding in silence like this.”

Natasha flinched slightly at the word “song”, but otherwise ignored you. Pepper noticed as well, but didn’t bring attention to it when you shook your head. “I’m not sure, Y/N. I know a few, but it’s all stuff my mom taught me. Not sure if you guys would know them.”

You smiled fondly at her slight blush, her eyes darting between you and Tony. “It’s fine. I’m sure we’ll pick it up after a minute or two.”

Tony smiled, realizing what your plan was. “The boys and I know a few if you would rather us start, Short Stack.”

Your heart swelled at his kindness, even as you rolled your eyes at him. He was a great guy, even if he could be exasperating. “Sure, Tony. If you guys don’t mind. I’d love to hear it.”

He nodded your way before smiling wickedly. “How about it, Cap? Tinman?”

They stiffened in their saddles. Turning in unison to glare at Tony. It made you giggle. Seems like you had more than one reluctant songbird on your hands.

You jogged Bodaway up between your boys at the front of the group. “You didn’t tell me you two could sing. Shame on you for keeping secrets.” You giggled at their twin blushes.

Bucky looked across you to Steve, pleading with his baby blue eyes. “Come on, Steve. Take one for the team here, pal.”

You giggled at Steve’s petulant huff. “Oh, fine. But, you all owe me.”

Drawing a few deep breaths, Steve steadied himself before he began to sing.

Almost heaven, West Virginia

Blue ridge mountain, Shenandoah river

Life is old there, older than the trees

Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze

Country roads, take me home

To the place I belong

West Virginia, mountain mama

Take me home, country roads

The smooth timbre of his voice carried softly through the trees and along the past and was soon joined by Bucky’s own voice. His was smokier, with a little lilt at the end where his accent deepened. Soon Tony and Pepper joined in as well, singing the words together. Apparently these boys weren’t the only ones who recognized this song. Jarvis and Bruce joined in on the chorus and set you smiling as their happy voices filled the surrounding air.

You couldn’t help but join in with your own song. Fitting the words together with a seamless harmony that made Bucky and Steve smile along with you.

If I should stay (All my memories, they gather round her)

I would only be in your way (A miner’s lady, stranger to blue water)

So I’ll go, yet I know (Dark and dusty, painted on the sky)

I’ll think of you each step of the way (misty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eye)

Country roads, take me home

To the place I belong

West Virginia, mountain mama

Take me home, country roads

Steve winked at you causing you to blush as you sang along to the chorus with them. You shook your head when you caught his mischievous smile. Even in the middle of trying to cheer up his friend, he couldn’t help but tease you a bit. It was distracting, enough that it caught you off guard when Bucky’s voice belted out the next verse. His voice really was beautiful, a lot like the man himself. Your blush grew stronger when he smiled at you and the chorus began again.

On the road again

Like a band of gypsies, we go down the highway

We’re the best of friends

Insisting that the world keep turning our way

And our way

Country roads (country roads), take me home (take me home)

To the place I belong

West Virginia, mountain mama

Oh, take me home, country roads

Not one to be outdone, you smiled at the two men you were riding with before turning your attention back to Natasha. She sat beside Pepper, trying hard to ignore the voices around her. You could visibly see the struggle in her eyes as she fought back her tears and the sadness that gripped her heart.

She wanted to sing, really wanted to. But she needed one more push before she would allow herself to give in. And you planned to help her get there, with everyone’s help.

Oh, I hope life treats you kind

And I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of

I wish you joy and happiness

But above all this, I wish you love

A sad smile graced her lips before she finally parted them and began to sing with a joy that the rest of her group hadn’t seen or heard in over a year. It brought tears to everyone’s eyes as they joined her in song and watched as the sadness finally began to wash away.

And I will always love you

I will always love you

Take me home, country roads

Take me home, country roads (and I will always love you)

It was then that an unfamiliar voice joined in with Natasha’s. It was faint, but it melded with her’s so well. Everyone faltered a bit, listening as the voice sang out from the trees. Tears began to spill down her cheeks as she dismounted, running headlong into the trees, following the sound of the voice that sang to her heart.

On the road again (I will always love you)

I just can’t wait to get on the road again

Country roads

The life I love is makin’ music with my friends (I will always love you)

I can’t wait to get on the road again

Take me home, country roads

I will always love you

Dismounting with Bucky and Steve, you followed her into the trees as the smooth male voice and sounds of trickling water grew in volume. Coming to the banks of the stream, your heart skipped as you caught sight of the injured man on the opposite bank.

His eyes were full of remorse, voice choked as tears streamed down his face. But he continued to sing to Natasha until she finally joined in with the last words of the song.

I’ll always love you

Steve and Bucky stood on either side of you, frozen to their cores until Natasha broke the spell.

“Clint.”

He smiled at her as she waded through the stream to kneel between his feet. She appeared afraid to touch him, her hands floating just above his skin until he reached up to her, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear.

A sob burst from her chest as he gripped the back of her neck and brought her face down to his. They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before coming together for a searing kiss that made tears spring to your eyes.

You felt hands grip each of yours, pulling your eyes away from the scene. Bucky and Steve each held one of your hands in theirs as tears of happiness rained down from their blues eyes. They each smiled fondly at you, as if it was your doing that had brought Clint back to them. But, you had nothing to do with it. You only wished for them all to be happy.

And it seemed that wish was finally coming true.