#FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 11 FUCKING MONTHS
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I DID IT!!! I FINISHED SOMETHING!!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR I’VE ACTUALLY WRITTEN A THING 😭
In case you like the BL manhwa Jinx by Mingwa and also happen to enjoy Guideverse fics, I shall leave this here:
Thank you 🙇🏻🩷
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Y'ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL
I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY OF YOU'LL REMEMBER THIS BUT!!! THAT GREEN CAT PLUSHIE THAT I WANTED SO DESPERATELY BUT WAS UNABLE TO FIND??? I'M GETTING ONE
#🔪.text#I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED#i have had a saved search for it for around 8 months.#8. months.#i have been getting emails.#and all except two have been what i was looking for#the first one wasn't too terribly long into it#but it was like 40 bucks without shipping i think#and it was missing the bowtie which i REALLY wanted#so i decided against it#but this morning i woke up to an email with two hits#i was expecting to just delete the email bc neither would be what i was looking for#BUT LO AND BEHOLD........ IT WAS THERE....#AND FOR ONLY 11 BUCKS THIS TIME#still without shipping but even with shipping it was only a little under 20#WHICH IS WAY BETTER THAN 40#i have never rushed to impulse buy something so fast LMAO#i'll have to go try to find the post again so you guys will know what green cat i'm talking about lol
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me










will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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i am very grateful that im not someone that has to deal with daily seizures but it is evil when it takes like a week and a half's worth of business days to recover from a seizure
#if i had them everyday or every other day i would be so fucked 😭#id like to say they dont bother me per se but the entire week after is laying in bed after 11 pm and wondering if jts going to happen again#bc my head feels like its about to explode#and then do not get me started on the fear of getting in the shower within the first few days of one happening .#reasonably i understand that my seizures happen from 11pm to maybe 3 am on average .#but ill have a seizure and then have to hype myself up for like 2 hours just to take one 3 days later st like 2 pm#my seizures do not interfere with my day to day life in extreme ways but existing knowing that i have them during a certain time frame is#like. Hey man can you grow up#also it is really funny being told theyre probably hormonal or stress related and should 'probably stop' as i get into my mid 20s .#Well im turning 25 next month and evidently i still have seizure activity in me#also also heres a fun fact: my epilepsy does not have an actual named diagnosis they just said i certainly have a Form of it ❤️#they dont know what causes them and i have no real warning signs (bc a headache =/= potential seizure)#they dont bother me but i do have to live with the knowledge that i could have one any day now and wake up to my mom asking me questions#hope everyone can tell i have a lot of feelings about my epilepsy despite not talking about it like ever ❤️#the only thing that really bothers me is the no warning signs. ive been perfectly fine and had them. ive had massive migraines when i was#unmedicated and didnt have one. very bizarre#and ofc all my brain scans come back normal all the time so they dgaf Lol
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they call me the griever because halfway through a thing I enjoy I’m already sad that it’s closer to being over
#blue chatter#trying to work on not doing this#and just enjoying the thing in the moment#this happens to me a lot with school breaks and such#like ‘oh I love being on spring break but I’m sad bc I’m already 3 days in’#‘oh I love summer vacation so far it’s too bad it’s already a month over’#and I’m like NO!!!!! blue!!!!!!!! you’re missing the point!!!!!!!!#you have the joy *right now* and you are SPOILING IT bc you’re too busy looking ahead to when it will be gone!!!!!!!!!#it happens with friend visits a lot. it’s less bad now but it still happens.#like. the first time I visited friends over spring break I woke up in the early morning of the last morning and just cried#because I only had a few hours left before I had to get on the plane home#and I start hurriedly stuffing seconds and minutes into my mouth and refusing to swallow#because maybe if I just cling extra hard then the time won’t pass-#but it does pass. and that’s okay. and I know that’s okay because life had more joyful things after that moment#had I stayed there on that day I would have been frozen as a much more miserable person#my friends themselves would have been very different people#I mean. fuck. between then and now two of us figured out our genders. both of them got married. they moved somewhere else now.#there’s a lot of little joys that got left behind there. a church they loved. a local park. mountains and windy streets.#but I wouldn’t hold ourselves there. which I try to remind myself when I start crying about lost time again#because yeah. this will end someday. human lifespans aren’t infinite.#but the future is full of life I still have to live. there’s no saying that I can’t have good things again.#and this period of my life is rapidly rushing towards a much more uncertain future and I know that and it’s scary#I know I have about 11 months to make several very adult decisions that will determine a lot of my future#but no matter what I choose this period of my life is not wasted#and I don’t need to hurriedly optimize every second and mourn losing them#and I know that. and I still feel sad and mourny. but that might be more indicative that I’m hungry or smth.
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Thinking about one of the loser men I dated directly post-college who, after I showed them Dirty Computer [the emotion picture] by Janelle Monae, said they "prefer rap that has something to say"
#this person identified as a man but used they/them pronouns just in case that was confusing#but yeah like. what does that mean. did you watch the video#also one time said colorado edibles were 'too strong' and therefore 'dangerous'#they said that COLORADO should have more 'regulations' imposed on weed products lmfao#also when i was watching mad men and expressed that i liked it#they were like 'i dont see the appeal bc the commentary feels obvious to anyone whos lived on the east coast' skskdkdkelsdnakas#they had the WEIRDEST complex about being from the east coast. like. most tightly wound person ive ever met in my life#who was constantly insisting they were sooo type b and so chill and go-with-the-flow#and like yeah im aware im from one of the most laid back slacker states#but this person was one of the most uptight people ive ever met let alone dated#and just had like 0 self awareness about it#like they would exclusively wear button downs sweater vests and cardigans. wouldnt be caught dead in a hoodie unless it was northface#would only drink coffee if it was made from a french press#also see above story about edibles (which was the biggest 'fight' we ever got in bc i was like what the fuck r u talking about)#like. the label says clearly how much thc cbd etc is in each edible and how many doses there are per container#what else could you want#if you dont know how itll affect you just take half or even a quarter of one first???#this still gets me heated to think about#but yeah like what kind of person sees DIRTY COMPUTER and is like 'hmm not political enough' lmfao#OH ALSO guess why we broke up#the blm protests happened and they said they were just 'too affected by police violence to be dating right now'#(they were very much white. blonde white)#and then i found out 11 months after we broke up that they had started dating a poc a month before we broke up#because i saw an anniversary post they did and i was like '...wait a minute'#and a friend of mine used to work with them after we broke up and according to him this person would constantly bring up what a great 'ally'#they were for dating a poc#fucking. wild
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it's so weird when once what was a very important exciting day becomes just another day insignificant and meaningless
#october is an uncomfortable month man#do i wish them or do i not#how can i be hung up on people i haven't talked to in more than a year three years even#sometimes it feels like no time has passed at all and then i have to remind myself what all happened#all the other people ive loved and how ive grown to remember that everything is changed#cause like i read one chat and im like. it would be soo easy to just fall back into old habits talk again#so natural. like how do you stop loving someone who knew you when you were 11 years old#or your first love first kiss first heartbreak#like both their birthdays are a week apart#i fucked up bad tho probably best not to wish
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i have risen
#covid got me fucked up man i knocked out at 11#first time i’ve gotten a whole eight hours in like months💀
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words not wording ;-;
#fuck this chapter specifically#i have been stuck on it for a month+#and oh sweet summer child that i was to think i could write a whole second draft in 11 months and have it done by easter#yes i am annoyed at myself for setting unrealistic goals and not meeting them#yes i am annoyed that i cannot get over this block#no i don't want to skip to the next chapter bc i'm worried i will never want to return to this one#but i might have to >:(#first time i've come back to it in nearly two weeks#and i still hate it#am i also a bit deflated about having not published any fics for 8 months? yes but what can you do#whatever we move#personal#lit talks#ignore the tag ramble just...writing man
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i read a fanfic like this once...
more info in tags
i wonder if actors ever get their scripts and are like
well this is fucking stupid
#when your script results in a lead actor going to in patient therapy for 3 months#you done know you fucked up#big time#biggest blunder of a series right next to dexter#and they still fucked up the revival#i read a fanfic like this once#it had a great start#great first half#amazing writing#so damn invested in story#only for none of the foreshadowing to come to fruition#only for the mega plot and climax to result in maybe 3 pages of disney movie bullshit#and for every character to have a happily ever after even after a mofo got fuckin STABBED IN THE HEART#and everyone has babies#everyone#-FLIPS TABLE-#i often reference this one as the game of thrones fanfic that murdered any and all expectations#oh and the author deletes any comments that aren't praising the worst fanfic ending of all time#my immortal comes in 2nd. thats how bad it was#wont go into details here tho#not often am i this betrayed by a work of FAN fiction#i get it its just something people enjoy#but cmon#you had me at hello#its like the writer died halfway through and hired their 11 year old cousin who just discovered their first yaoi
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When I was a teenager everything happened so fast and now I feel like it takes 1 billion years to get anything done
#i thought high school was forever when i was in it but i look back and im like how did all of that fit into 4 years#so much happened#and then i think back on 10 years and im like. how did i manage to be 11 and then in high school during that time#i know like the first 4 years of that decade i was straight up dissociating and losing time#and then at 14 i started smoking weed started high school started having sex#and then at 15 i started doing acid and mushrooms had a huge relapse had a several month bout of paranoid delusions#and then at 16 i got a job and covid happened and then bc i wasnt in school i had way more free time to do acid mushrooms and weed#it was all so much and i went through most of it in a perpetual drugged up haze#and i would hate to have gone thru any of that sober but i wonder if it wouldve lasted longer if i had#like if my perception of time would be different if i hadnt been high all the time#high half the time and dissociating the other half before i started doing drugs... literally anything to not be present in my life lol#and now im so present and its hashtag worth it for my hashtag goals but my life also feels so empty#like most of my time is just wasted. but im too busy to do anything and anyway i dont really want to do more things#it seems like a lot of fucking work and what i was doing before was Easy
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can i just pass out at work and be sent home??? i hate working sundays so much.
#this is the first time working a sunday in a month and i hate it ur honor#im finally on my break#the manager is a joke on the weekends#he went on break at 8 and waited until it was nearly 11 before sending anyone else on break#like what the fuck????#&& ooc post.#&& mobile post.
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haii ><,, i read your pampering fic w mr crawling and i js. UGH. IM SO IN LOVEEEE 😭😭 do u do nsfw drabbles/fics 🤔 i read in ur rules you DO allow nsfw so,, could i request something nsfw abt a first time with him ><??
First Time.
context: First time with your pookie wookie bookie puppy bear.
Homicipher. mr crawling x reader. | Anypov…(?). NSFW | tw: ectoplasm c*m
Nsfw isn’t my strong suit but I have fun challenging myself, I do hope you enjoy this!
first time? ..confusing. And complicated. And clumsy. But oh.. does it feel so good.
It’s definitely a lot of build up over a couple months, like first soft pecks, then making out, slow and clumsy touches.
You have to guide his hands yourself until he gets the hang of it, but I think he’s a pretty quick learner. He’s def good with his hands (I actually think he says that in the game at some point) and his tongue.. (😜)
I’d say your on your bed making out, straddling his lap, your tongues in a heated battle with each other while his hand roams your body and his other hand is gently cupping your face. You’re starting to subtly grind against him, and he makes a chirping noise.
You can feel his erection against your thigh, and when you pull back to look at him, he’s smiling widely at you. He grabs you by the shoulders and switches your positions, pushing you down against the mattress while he hovers over you. He’s whining and chirping, rutting against your leg and wrapping his big arms around you, burying his face in to your chest. He’s so whiny and desperate for you, clawing at your clothes to try and get them off.
I saw someone say he’d be on the smaller side, but yall see how fucking tall that man is?? I def think he’s atleast 6 or 7 inches ..skinny, veiny, with a slight curve.
He’s chirping and making all sorts of noises when he finally sinks in to your wet heat, rutting so sloppily and clumsily. You jolt from how cold it is compared to your hot gummy walls, making you shiver. He has no idea really what he’s doing, but it just feels so good he can’t stop, can’t help himself. How you clench around him, how good it feels, its driving him insane. Burying his face in to your neck and wrapping his arms around you so tightly.
You can tell he’s getting close because he’s getting more vocal and his thrusts are getting even more sloppier (somehow), and you’re clawing at his back, whimpering and mewling. Your walls clench around him, milking his purple-tipped cock, cumming with a sharp cry. His hips stutter as you ride out your high, and he slips out of you, shooting his load on your tummy, rubbing his grey ectoplasm cum all over your soft skin, giggling maniacally.
After you clean yourselves up, you snuggle up to him, pulling the covers up around you both as he pats your head and you drift off to sleep on his arms.
11/11/2024. 9:38 am. @i90o3
#homicipher#homicipher x reader#homicipher fanfiction#mr crawling#mr crawling x reader#*i90o3}#fanfiction#horror games#horror sim#dating sim
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#man i can't believe my dad is looking for all these cool colleges for my brother#he's not even doing any research because he already knows a lot bc my sis studied the same thing#but like. im so offended lol he didn't let me go because he said college is a waste kuch padhai toh hoti nahi hai#dekh liya teri behen ki harkate ek aur beti nahi bigadne dunga#and for my brother no restrictions#fuck you#i should've picked science im an idiot#well i did not pick science bc im an idiot and didn't understand anything in 10th grade but still#and the audacity of him to tell ME to talk to admissions office everywhere#i remember i made such a good comprehensive list of so many colleges#i made columns and everything writing everything down comparing it#and he didn't even LOOK at the paper he said you'll stay home and that's final#i fought and i cried and i begged but nope he was unmoved said you don't even have to do ca if u don't want to#do bcom from a local college then shadi kar lena I don't mind#when he knows i could never do that. local colleges here suck their degrees mean nothing#and obviously i wasn't going to just play dice with my future like that he had traumatized me enough to ensure that#i would never rely on marriage on a man for my living my mom had been grilling into my head since i was like 11#that you have to be really rich and independent okay you can never rely on men and i didn't even understand anything at that time i just#said yes okay. wow is that why im. bisexual (we're just saying that atp when i know men make me sick)#i hadn't even grown up even a little and my mom was like men all suck never trust them lol. well i took your advice mom#let's see how u react when u find out#🤣🤣🤣#ugh it's 11:30 am and i am already bitter and resentful okay okay this stops now#just few more months and then I'll be happy#also fun fact the college he asked me to look up. it's so famous for drugs and fuckboys and sex and everything lol#the asshole fuckboy guy i met on bumble last year who i stupidly lost my first boy kiss too. he was from there#and the stories he told me. my brother if he goes here well nice. one more asshole emotionally unavailable fuckbky in the making#he'll become im so sure
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A sexy, skinny defeat device for your HP ink cartridge

Animals keep evolving into crabs; it's a process called "carcinisation" and it's pretty weird. Crabs just turn out to be extremely evolutionarily fit for our current environment:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-animals-keep-evolving-into-crabs/
By the same token, all kinds of business keep evolving into something like a printer company. It turns out that in this enshittified, poorly regulated, rentier-friendly world, the parasitic, inkjet business model is extremely adaptive. Printerinisation is everywhere.
All that stuff you hate about your car? Trapping you into using their mechanics, spying on you, planned obsolescence? All lifted from the inkjet printer business model:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon
That GE fridge that won't make ice or dispense water unless you spend $50 for a proprietary charcoal filter instead of using a $10 generic? Pure printerism:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/12/digital-feudalism/#filtergate
The software update to your Sonos speakers that makes them half as useful and takes away your right to play your stored music, forcing you to buy streaming music subscriptions? Straight out of the HP playbook:
https://www.wired.com/story/sonos-admits-its-recent-app-update-was-a-colossal-mistake/
But as printerinized as all these gadgets are, none can quite attain the level of high enshittification that the OG inkjet bastards attain on a daily basis. In the world championships of effortlessly authentic fuckery, no one can lay a glove on the sociopathic monsters of HP.
For example: when HP wanted to soften us all up for a new world of "subscription ink" (where you have to pre-pay every month for a certain number of pages' worth of printing, which your printer enforces by spying on you and ratting you out to HP over the internet), they offered a "lifetime subscription" plan. With this "lifetime" plan, you paid just once and your HP printer would print out 15 pages a month for so long as you owned your printer, with HP shipping you new ink every time you ran low.
Well, eventually, HP got bored of not making you pay rent on your own fucking printer, so they just turned that plan off. Yeah, it was a lifetime plan, but the "lifetime" in question was the lifetime of HP's patience for not fucking you over, and that patience has the longevity of a mayfly:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/11/06/horrible-products/#inkwars
It would take many pages to list all of HP's sins here. This is a company that ships printers with half-full ink cartridges and charges more than the printer cost to buy a replacement set. The company that won't let you print a black-and-white page if you're out of yellow ink. The company that won't let you scan or send a fax if you're out of any of your ink.
They make you "recalibrate" your printer or "clean your heads" by forcing you to print sheets of ink-dense paper. They also refuse to let you use your ink cartridges after they "expire."
HP raised the price of ink to over $10,000 per gallon, then went to war against third-party ink cartridge makers, cartridge remanufacturers, and cartridge refillers. They added "security chips" to their cartridges whose job was to watch the ink levels in your cartridge and, when they dip below a certain level (long before the cartridge is actually empty), declare the cartridge to be dry and permanently out of use.
Even if you refill that cartridge, it will still declare itself to be empty to your printer, which will therefore refuse to print.
Third party ink companies have options here. One thing they could do is reverse-engineer the security chip, and make compatible ones that say, "Actually, I'm full." The problem with this is that laws like Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) potentially makes this into a felony punishable by a five-year prison sentence and a $500k fine, for a first offense.
DMCA 1201 bans bypassing "an effective means of access control" to a copyrighted work. So if HP writes a copyrighted "I'm empty" program for its security chip and then adds some kind of access restriction to prevent you from dumping and reverse-engineering that program, you can end up a felon, thanks to the DMCA.
Another countermove is to harvest security chips out of dead cartridges that have been sent overseas as e-waste (one consequence of HP's $10,000/gallon ink racket is that it generates mountains of immortal, toxic e-waste that mostly ends up poisoning poor countries in the global south). These can be integrated into new cartridges, or remanufactured ones.
In practice, ink companies do all of this and more, and total normie HP printer owners go to extremely improbable lengths to find third party ink cartridges and figure out how to use them. It turns out that even people who find technology tinkering intimidating or confusing or dull can be motivated to learn and practice a lot of esoteric tech stuff as an alternative to paying $10,000/gallon for colored water.
HP has lots of countermoves for this. One truly unhinged piece of fuckery is to ask Customs and Border Patrol to block third-party ink cartridges with genuine HP security chips that have been pried loose from e-waste shipments. HP claims that these are "counterfeits" (because they were removed and re-used without permission), even though they came out of real HP cartridges, and CBP takes them at their word, seizing shipments.
Even sleazier: HP pushes out fake security updates to its printers. You get a message telling you there's an urgent security update, you click OK, and your printer shows you a downloading/installing progress bar and reboots itself. As far as you can tell, nothing has changed. But these aren't "security" updates, they're updates that block third-party ink, and HP has designed them not to kick in for several months. That way, HP owners who get tricked into installing this downgrade don't raise hell online and warn everyone else until they've installed it too, and it's too late:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer
This is the infectious pathogen business model: one reason covid spread so quickly was that people were infectious before they developed symptoms. That meant that the virus could spread before the spreader knew they had it. By adding a long fuse to its logic bomb, HP greatly increases the spread of its malware.
But life finds a way. $10,000/gallon ink is an irresistible target for tinkerers, security researchers and competitors. Necessity may be the mother of invention, but the true parent of jaw-dropping ingenuity is callous, sadistic greed. That's why America's army of prisoners are the source of so many of the most beautiful and exciting forms of innovation seen today:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/09/king-rat/#mother-of-invention
Despite harsh legal penalties and the vast resources of HP, third-party ink continues to thrive, and every time HP figures out how to block one technique, three even cooler ones pop up.
Last week, Jay Summet published a video tearing down a third-party ink cartridge compatible with an HP 61XL:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0ya184uaTE
The third-party cartridge has what appears to be a genuine HP security chip, but it is overlaid with a paper-thin, flexible, adhesive-backed circuit board that is skinny enough that the cartridge still fits in an HP printer.
This flexible circuit board has its own little microchip. Summet theorizes that it is designed to pass the "are you a real HP cartridge" challenge pass to the security chip, but to block the followup "are you empty or full?" message. When the printer issues that challenge, the "man in the middle" chip answers, "Oh, I'm definitely full."
In their writeup, Hackaday identifies the chip as "a single IC in a QFN package." This is just so clever and delightful:
https://hackaday.com/2024/09/28/man-in-the-middle-pcb-unlocks-hp-ink-cartridges/
Hackaday also notes that HP CEO Enrique J Lores recently threatened to brick any printer discovered to be using third-party ink:
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/01/hp-ceo-blocking-third-party-ink-from-printers-fights-viruses/
As William Gibson famously quipped, "the future is here, it's just not evenly distributed." As our enshittification-rich environment drives more and more companies to evolve into rent-seeking enterprises through printerinisation, HP offers us a glimpse of the horrors of the late enshittocene.
It's just as Orwell prophesied: "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a HP installing malware on your printer to force you to spend $10,000/gallon on ink – forever."
Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/30/life-finds-a-way/#ink-stained-wretches
Image: Jay Summet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0ya184uaTE
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summary: where you and jungkook love to play the push and pull game
w/c: 4.7k
warnings/misc: idol!jk x (fem)producer!reader. the usual. mean words being exchanged to each other in the name of banter 😕 they dk how to be nice to e/o and i enjoy writing that way too much methinks. explicit sexual content (penetrative s*x, unprotected s*x, c*wgirl position, d*ggy, shower s*x, cre*mpie, dirty talk) idk what happened but there is angst here
note: due to popular demand here is pt 2 🤩🤩 i actually kinda have more ideas for this universe tbh and would love to go thru with it but it def depends so dont expect anything!! anywho. hope u enjoy!!!!! its unedited tho will fix later
index: part 1 | pt. 2
jeon jk. (bighit) [10:25pm]: im stressed i need to eat you out jeon jk. (bighit) [10:50pm]: whats taking u so long to answer? jeon jk. (bighit) [10:58pm]: will it kill you to reply
you [11:31pm]: shut up i just got off class
jeon jk. (bighit) [11:32pm]: who gets off class at 12 fucking midnight jeon jk. (bighit) [11:33pm]: are you fucking ur professor again jeon jk. (bighit) [11:36pm]: who was that. kim namjin. the lame ass linguistics prpfessor
you [11:40pm]: kim namjoon* and if im fucking him again whats it to you? you [11:40pm]: hes not lame and hes got a bigger dick than you
jeon jk. (bighit) [11:41pm]: yeah by like 0.05 inch.
you [11:43pm]: if thats what makes you sleep at night ig
jeon jk. (bighit) [11:44pm]: funny bcs who did you come back to after all that? def not namjan
you [11:46pm]: only bcs u send me stupid shit like “im stressed need to eat u out” when u dont get to fuck me
jeon jk. (bighit) [11:46pm]: youre infuriating as hell
you [11:46pm]: I literally do not care.
Your doorbell rings for the second time. Rolling your eyes, you let out a loud sigh and drop your highlighter on your book, dragging your feet to the doorway and opening it against your will.
“What the fuck took so long?” Is what Jungkook welcomes you with, taking off his black mask aggressively and stepping inside the threshold without you even inviting him inside.
You lock the door again, watching as Jungkook expertly navigates the space of your apartment, used to the way he heads to the kitchen with ease where he places the – you noticed it just now – bags of take-out on the counter.
“I told you, I can’t get into anything right now. I have to study for a test.” You cross your arms under your chest, following him. You stop by the counter across Jungkook, looking at him as he opens your fridge to get a bottle of water.
He’s worn all black from head to toe for obvious reasons because you live downtown and near Gangnam, and there’s no way nobody would recognize him if he didn’t get into any disguise.
Jungkook turns to you once he’s chugged the rest of the drink, leaning onto the counter, brow raised as he says, “Who said we have to get into anything right now?”
You shoot him a mirrored look.
“We only see each other for sex. And we can’t have sex tonight. I need to spell it out for you?”
Jungkook doesn’t say anything. Instead, he gestures to the food on the counter and begins shrugging off his leather jacket and cap.
“Eat. You look pale.”
“Jungkook—”
He furrows his brows. “Is it that time of the month? Why are you so mouthy more than usual?”
“Fuck off.” You flip him off which makes him chuckle. It takes you aback a little.
“See. You’re irritable because you haven’t eaten yet. So what if you have to study? Eat first. I’ll help you with your flashcards later, then we’ll have sex. Easy.”
“Who are you and why are you telling me what to do?” You bite back.
“Because you’ll probably die at 27 if I wasn’t constantly reminding you of eating your meals,” Jungkook shrugs and starts tearing off the tapes on the take-out food. “And you like having sex with me. So.” You purse your lips, making a small scoffing sound, prompting Jungkook to glance at you. “Yeah?” He quirks a brow with a hint of a smile on his lips.
You frown. “You’re cocky.”
“You get me hard when we argue. Save it for later.” He says, as if chastising you and redirecting your attention again to the food.
You roll your eyes again, annoyed that there’s a weird feeling in your stomach about the whole exchange and your mouth muscles are itching to curl up a little at his… stupidity. It irritates you, the way Jungkook goes through life in an easy-going way because he knows exactly who he is.
You almost let out a moan as you start digging in the chicken he bought, feeling relieved to finally have something. Jungkook was only half-exaggerating when he said he had to tell you to eat, because most of the time you really forget all about it.
Today was one of those days… you didn’t have to clock in at the company on Fridays but your classes go from 5 to 9pm which drains the hell out of you. Waking up midday means not bothering to eat… and aside from the bagel and coffee you grabbed at the cafe earlier, you haven’t consumed real food.
“I don’t like this.” you suddenly say.
“What?”
You look up at him. He still looks weird.
“That.” you point at his general direction. He raises a brow, growing confused. “You look happy. I’m not sure if I like that.”
“Ouch.”
You can’t help yourself. You laugh at his completely blank face. Cutting yourself off completely, you clear your throat.
“It’s weird. Why?”
“I smile and it just… what? Ruins your day?”
“Yeah.”
Jungkook laughs out loud. “You’re infuriating.”
You hum, weirdly satisfied with that.
Jungkook has been over your apartment many times because as much as his place is way nicer, you don’t like going there. Too risky, too many eyes. Too… scary. You know Jungkook improves his security every three months, as sad as it sounds, but still. You don’t feel comfortable going there, probably why you refused to use the keycard he’s given you. You do fuck a lot in your studio, though, or in the empty rooms over at the company, but when you’re not, Jungkook and you drive here. It’s almost safe to assume that Jungkook knows this place already like the back of his hand.
Probably because whatever the hell this is between you has been going on for eight months now.
After Jungkook and you inhaled every last bit of the food (because he was apparently starving as well), true to his words, he actually did help you study a bit. But that didn’t really last when Jungkook suddenly had his fingers in you thirty minutes later.
One moment you were talking about phonological change and sound laws, the next thing you know, you’re cumming on his fingers, while Jungkook sits on the edge of your bed frantically helping you straddle him. Meanwhile, half of your clothes are forming a heap on the floor as you heavily make out with each other.
“F-fuck,”
Jungkook sighs when the tip of his cock finally enters your pussy as you slowly push down on him, thighs clenching at the way he’s stretching you out.
You gasp when you fully sit on him, open mouths breathing against each other.
“Oh, fuck, you’re so b-big–”
And you might never really get used to it, no matter how many times you do it.
You let out a shaky moan when you feel Jungkook’s dick twitching inside you, opening your eyes only to see him already staring right at you.
“You okay to move?” He rasps, the veins in his arms telling you he’s trying to hold back.
You nod eagerly, placing your palms on his shoulders and preparing yourself to go up. Your slick from the foreplay doesn’t make the stretch of his cock fully burn, making it a little easier for you to slide out and bounce back down on him until you’re repeating the movement faster, with Jungkook taking a hold of of your breasts, squeezing the flesh tightly in his huge palms. He groans, leaning down to capture your nipples, biting the pearls a little too rough you whimper a little too loud.
“O-oh—! Not too rough, Jeon.” You whine, grabbing the back of his head. Jungkook looks at you with brows raised, rightfully confused ‘cause you usually like it when he’s rough with you. You bite your lip, continuing to ride him. “Just a little sensitive. My period’s next week.”
Jungkook nods understandingly, squeezing your chest again, quite apologetically might you say so. He licks over a nipple, this time considerably more gentle with it.
“How’s this for a studying session?”
“N-not bad,” You bite your lip when you feel your thighs quivering, already starting to run out of breath, digging your nails in Jungkook’s shoulders. His hands travel down to your hips, where he grips it tight and starts guiding your ministration, literally bouncing you up and down on him. “Ahh– fuck.” you moan, shutting your eyes close at the delicious sensation of his engorged cock touching every part of your pussy.
You’re dripping on him, both of your bated breaths filling your room as he picks up your own pace.
“You – fuck – enjoy riding my cock like this?” He suddenly cups your jaw, making you look at him. The sides of your eyes sting with unshed tears, whimpering when his dick slips out of you when you try to go down again. Both of you look at it, with Jungkook quickly helping you put it back in, moaning in unison when it enters you again. You tighten your grip on him, soft sighs falling out of your mouth. But Jungkook suddenly lets out a quiet tsk, looking at you with furrowed brows as he says, “Answer me.”
“Y-you know.” you say, mirroring his look. You start rocking back and forth instead, heightening the pleasure.
With the way Jungkook’s face contorts, you know the new movement feels just as good for him.
But he suddenly thrusts from under you, grabbing the back of your hair – the stretch on your scalp didn’t hurt, but it’s enough to make you gasp.
“Why do you gotta be such a fuckin’ brat, huh?” Jungkook groans, guiding your face closer to his. “You act like this around— who’s that guy again? Professor Kim?”
You bite your lip to prevent yourself from smiling at that. You knew he was gonna bring that up one way or another. You and Professor Kim fucked that one time — okay maybe two times when Jungkook and you had this weird cool-off thing going on four months ago, and he made sure to remind you of it every singe chance he got.
“No,” you firmly say, leveling him with a look, still keeping your pace on his cock. “He likes it when I’m a good girl.”
Jungkook’s expression darkens, and you moan when his grip on your hair tightens.
“You’re far from a good girl, sweetheart. But he wouldn’t know that ‘cause he only got to fuck you twice.”
“Y-yeah? You sure it’s not more tha—”
Jungkook cuts you off with a hot, angry kiss. Your teeth cling together, and with the aggressive way he inserts his tongue into you unprompted, you know he’s getting a little heated.
It’s juvenile, but you take a little pride in how much it's so easy for you to piss him off.
But one second you’re sharing a searing kiss, the next moment you feel a sting on your bottom lip.
“Oh—! What the fuck!” You push Jungkook away so hard he unceremoniously plops down on the mattress, bringing you down with him. You manage to support yourself with his hard chest, looking at him with bewildered eyes, touching your bottom lip. The fucker just bit it.
Jungkook lets himself rest against the mattress, gripping your thighs instead.
“He’s fucking weird for fucking his student, by the way.” he says, apparently still not done talking about Kim Namjoon. His hands have made their way from your legs to your breasts, but you whisk them away, shooting him a glare.
“You’re a dick,” you jab at his chest, making him let out a slightly pained “Oh!”, soon exchanged with a grunt of pleasure when you reach for his cock behind you to sit on it again, grinding against it. You lean on his chest, keeping your daggers on him. “You can say whatever you want but you can’t blame Prof Kim for fucking his student.”
Jungkook immediately scoffs. Because you refuse to have anything to do with his hands, he crosses them under his head, eyes casting a glance down where you meet, darkening when you roll your hips against him deliciously.
“He’s a person in power. That gotta be unethical.”
You roll your eyes almost automatically.
“So you wouldn’t fuck me if I was your student, then?” you raise your brow, taking note of the obvious surprise coloring Jungkook’s face.
But he quickly shuts it down with a smug response.
“I would just have to look at other professors to fuck. Especially at SNU? Have you seen the women professors there?” There’s a bite to it, and the smirk on his lips heighten that. Like he’s telling you he has way more options than you – and those options can come easy for him. If he wants to.
“See how you’re not fucking any one of them? Exactly.” you retort.
Jungkook snorts. “I don’t have to,” He removes his hands from his head. “Besides, I fucked Hana before in a professor outfit. Does that count?”
You grit your teeth together at the mention of Hana. She’s a friend of yours, also an idol like Jungkook. You actually do have a lot of friends in the industry, and coincidentally, Jungkook has fucked most of them.
“What’s the matter? Don't like the reminder that much?” Jungkook grins. “I remember Jiyeon being in the same position as you now. She really loves riding my dick. Kind of like you. You two really are friends, huh?”
Kim Jiyeon, a member of a famous group in the country. Another one of your friends and one of Jungkook’s on and off hook-ups too. You don’t know if they still do it from time to time – as far as you know, they ended just as you two began. But you don’t ask either, don’t really care at all.
But it’s funny since you remember him saying awhile ago he hasn’t fucked anybody other than you in a long time. Was that a lie?
“Sure. Don’t feel special though, I rode Jaehyun exactly this way. Went at it for hours because my pussy just gets so wet for him.”
You relish the fact that Jungkook’s smile immediately falls off his face when you say that. But that victory only lasted for a brief moment when he spoke his next words.
“You have a dirty mouth on you, I’ll give you that. Shin’s was dirtier, though. Gives crazy head too.”
You don’t really know why he’s mentioning all your idol friends, but fine. If he wants to play that game, you’ll give it to him.
���Don’t you just love a crazy head? Mingyu gave me one when we finally went out on a date, and I still think about it,” You made sure to grind against his cock painfully slowly, making a show of moaning out loud. “Oh god,”
Thankfully, that shuts Jungkook up.
“So he did ask you out.” Jungkook says, and it sounds so… firm. You can’t even recognize the look on his face.
“Yes.”
He goes quiet after that, but his hands on your waist are tight.
Like nothing happened, you continue riding him – and maybe because you talked too much that the momentum got killed, but suddenly, you stop your ministration.
Jungkook’s brows furrow, about to say something. Just as when he opens his mouth to speak, you get off him, leaving him astounded on your bed with his dick still stiff and hard against his abdomen.
“What the hell?”
“I’m going to take a shower.” you say nonchalantly, already heading to your bathroom.
“Seriously?” Jungkook says, the disbelief in his tone palpable. “I’m still hard and I haven’t even cum yet.”
You look back at him. “You can take care of that.”
Jungkook gestures with his hand. “Are you fucking kidding– you’re serious?”
You turn away and go straight to the bathroom, locking the door and immediately turning the shower on – aggressively so.
You’re not mad, is what you tell yourself. You know you started it when you goaded Jungkook about Namjoon. But you also shouldn’t have taken the bait, because Jungkook is competitive in all areas that affects his huge, dumb ego.
Well, fuck him. Figuratively this time. You can’t believe you let him in your place tonight. You can’t even fucking remember what you were reading earlier, because his stupid horny brain decided it was okay to finger you when you were memorizing the mor—
“What the—!”
You look at Jungkook in shock when he suddenly barges in the shower, all naked just like you and goes under the stream too, looking just as pissed as you left him.
“I know where you keep your keys and you can’t just walk out on me like that,” He turns off the shower and you’re about to complain when he suddenly looks at you again, brows furrowing and tone a little dark when he says, “So what? You play this little I’m-fucking-other-people-and-not-just-you games on me every fucking time and expect me to just take it? When I decide to ride along you get a little pissy and act like a child?”
Your jaw slacks, not expecting the call-out. Jungkook steps closer to you, heavy footsteps sounding like a ticking clock above your head. You’ve always known he’s muscly, and much much taller and bigger than you, but his presence especially looms over you when he’s obviously heated like this.
Your backward steps are futile when he only takes steps forward, until you feel the glass wall on your back.
Jungkook follows, and even though his hands are wet from the water, warmth spread through your body when he takes you roughly by the waist.
“Now you have nothing to say because you know I’m right,” he rasps. You whimper when he presses his body to you, his dick flatly rigid against your stomach, the tip aching red when you glance down to look at it. Jungkook clicks his tongue against his cheek, cupping your cheek to redirect your face to him. “Turn around.”
He doesn’t even bother hearing you out, just manhandles you around himself. You suppress a moan when he rests his dick against the cleft of your ass, his body heat spreading within you when he leans down to whisper in your ear, “You know what’s funny? Your mouth looks adorably small when it’s stuffed with my cock, but it sure is big enough when you run it just to piss me off.”
Your thighs clench at his words. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you look back at him. “S-so what are you gonna do about it?”
Jungkook raises a brow. “The best option is to put my dick in it but you’d be way too happy with that.”
You roll your eyes. “You’re so full of yourself—”
“God, can you shut up for even just a minute?”
You fight the urge to roll your eyes again.
“Can you just fuck me and get this whole thing over with?”
You don’t expect the slap in your ass that comes after that. Looking back at Jungkook with a gasp, you’re about to voice out a complaint when he suddenly inserts a finger in you, cutting your train of thought.
He slowly eases out of your pussy, but shoves his digit back in, settling with a steady pace in and out.
“Look at you, you’re a cockslut. You like when I’m mean to you, that’s why you piss me off, right?” He says, nibbling on your ear.
You whimper when he adds another finger, moaning at the sensation. Jungkook picks up his pace, and your lewd sounds bounce off the shower stall as you start feeling the hot coil in your stomach.
“J-jungkook,”
“Hm?”
“I want– more.” You say, looking at him with your mouth agape, tears forming in the sides of your eyes. Your thighs feel like giving out, and you feel so empty even though he’s two fingers in it’s almost criminal.
“Say it. What do you want?”
You fight the urge to flip him off, but your tone is still snarky when you simply say, “Dick.”
He chuckles, sending shivers down your spine. “Whose dick? And what’s the magic word?”
You shut your eyes close, grinding your teeth in quiet anger.
“Your dick and please.” You say in the most monotonous voice you could ever muster.
You fully expectd Jungkook to prolong the moment a little longer, but fucking finally, you see him stroking his dick a few moments later, shaking his head and chuckling lowly when he adjusts your position against his crotch.
“You whine and I give you what you want. Aren’t you too spoiled, princess?” He says, aligning the head to your oussy until you feel the tip slowly entering you.
You inhale, relief of having his cock back inside you washing over you.
“Y-you love giving me what I want.” You retort back, pushing yourself on him, careful to keep a tight balance on the glass before you even though Jungkook’s got a tight hold on your waist with his other hand.
He only hums, and soon he thrusts inside with no warning – but it’s a pleasant stretch when it happens, a loud moan escaping your mouth from the sudden movement.
“O-oh god!” you yelp when he begins sliding in out of you at a fast pace, gushing as he kept on giving it to you.
You try to keep your voice low but Jungkook’s stretching you out so well, his thrusts so precise and forceful, dick growing impossibly bigger every passing second.
Soon, the cramped shower stall is fogged, with nothing but your heavy breaths and moans and groans filling the air, Jungkook beating your pussy with speedy trusts your breasts are starting to hurt from the jiggling – thank god that Jungkook decided to fondle them with his palms, squeezing and holding, flicking your nipples every now and then.
“It’s–shit–it’s only me who gets to see you like this, begging for my cock because you fucking love it so much,” Jungkook says against your neck. “So fucking wet, such greedy pussy – and it’s mine, right?” You only whimper, but that obviously does not make Jungkook happy. With a forceful tug on your hair, he makes you look at him. “Answer me when I talk to you, baby, or you’re not gonna cum.”
“Y-yes!”
He hums, slowing down to give you a slow, purposeful trust.
“I don’t care who else you fuck, __. Because at the end of the day, it’s me you come back to.”
You could almost cry by the way he’s going so slow that you feel almost every ridge of his cock, but it feels so good. He’s so big and hits all the right spots, even when he talks shit.
“Shit.” he hisses before speeding up again, and you can feel fhe tell tale sign of his orgasm when his rhythym becomes uncoordinated for a bit of a moment, groaning a little loider than usual, until one of his hands on your waist let go to squeeze his dick in your pussy.
“I’m gonna cum,” Jungkook says with heavy breaths, staggering a little. “Where can I cum?”
“Inside.” you say, “Please cum inside. I need it, Kook. Cum inside me.”
“Yeah?”
“Y-yeah. Please. Need it. Need it so bad.” you bite your lip, feeling a little delirious.
When Jungkook moans a little louder, that’s when you feel the hot liquid running down your legs. It makes your pussy flutter, whimpering when Jungkook inserts his cock in you to push his cum back again, stuffing you with his cum.
“So damn pretty… fuck,” Jungkook whispers, rubbig the base of his cock against your lips.
“Kook–”
He doesn’t let you say any more, just creeps his finger in your pussy, thumb rubbing your clit in eights. And because you’ve been basically edged as well, it doesn’t take too long for you to follow him, cumming down hard.
Jungkook helps you get up, lets you rest your back against him as you try to regain your mobility, chest heaving up and down.
It’s weirdly calming when he runs his hands over your body, caressing your stomach and squeezing your tits as you both come down from your high.
“You okay?” Jungkook whispers against your head. You nod. “Alright, I’ll leave you to it.”
You’re about to ask if he plans on showering as well, but you stop yourself before you can even say it out loud, looking at his disappearing figure when he walks out of the shower box and the bathroom altogether.
It takes you a moment to start the shower again.
But it was only a quick one, and you didn’t exactly think about where Jungkook would’ve gone by the time you're finished, but once you’ve emerged in your bedroom again, you see him pulling up his pants, buckling his belt.
“You’re leaving?” You say, pausing. Then you realize it came out kind of weird, so you try to scratch that. Glancing at your alarm clock by the bedside table, you clear your throat. “I mean, it’s 3 am.”
Jungkook looks up at you. “Yeah. I have practice at 6.”
“Ah.” you nod, blinking at him. You head to your closet, picking out your clothes for the night. “You have three hours left. Tough.”
Jungkook snorts. You can hear him shuffling behind you while you wore another clean camisole and shorts. When you turn around, Jungkook’s dressed now in his black shirt and jeans. His cap and jacket are in the living room, so he'll probably just grab them when he heads out.
When you plop down on the bed, you watch as Jungkook picks up his wallet and his phone, stuffing them in his pockets. You thought he’d leave by then, but he suddenly speaks.
“Hey.” He calls. You raise your brow at him to continue. Jungkook pauses for a moment, looking a bit unsure. Before you can ask, he finally says something. “You can fuck Kim Namjoon or whoever you like,” he starts, staring intently at you. “Just tell me beforehand so we can sort it out.”
A few beats.
Jungkook doesn’t follow it up with anything, and nor do you say anything quickly to that.
The silence sounds way too loud.
“Okay.” Is what you settle with. Jungkook stares at you a little longer than necessary, so you arch your brow. “What? Anything else before you leave?”
It takes Jungkook awhile to say, “Nothing.”
“Okay… and uh, thanks for bringing food.”
He arches a brow, lips curling up a little. You squint your eyes, rolling it when he gives you a knowing smile.
“Good night, I guess?” Jungkook lamely offers.
You nod. “It’s 3 am but okay.”
“You can’t tell me good night, too?” Jungkook says.
“Uh, have a good sleep and sweet dreams?” you say with the flattest tone and face.
He scoffs, but he looks amused. “You can be a little more sincere than that.”
You wave him off. Jungkook shakes his head, turning on his heels to head out the door.
“Jungkook.”
His hands around the door handle pauses mid-air to look at you.
You look away.
“Mingyu did ask me out,” you start.
Jungkook’s face is unreadable when he says, “I didn’t ask.”
You shake your head. “No, I know you didn't, I just–” you sigh. “That was a week ago. I just want to say that… nothing happened.”
It takes awhile for Jungkook to understand.
“So…”
You lied. About the head or whatever the hell you said about Mingyu and you together. Mingyu was a nice guy, and the date was also really nice. But it just… didn’t work out.
“Yeah.” is what you settled with.
You don’t really know what you expected from him, but he just nods.
“Alright.”
That was the last thing he said when he walked out of your door.
You look away, grabbing your phone to check some notification. There’s something on instagram, and there’s a message from Yoongi. Some mp3 file. Music stuff, you guess. And there’s one from Yena too, a member of a rookie female group over at the company who’s getting into songwriting.
When you lie down to sleep, you feel empty.
#jungkook smut#jungkook angst#jungkook x reader#jungkook scenarios#jungkook imagines#bts smut#bts angst#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x you#p; drabbles#fic: idol!jk
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