#FOR HOSTILE V PASSIVE

[florshedworf]

HEY. WHAT

[wonder-worker]

"Because Richard (III) usurped the throne, his retinue is inevitably seen as inimical to the crown and therefore in an important sense independent of royal authority. In the context of Edward IV's reign, in which the retinue was created, neither assumption is true. The development of the retinue would have been impossible without royal backing and reflected, rather than negated, the king's authority. Within the north itself, Gloucester's connection subsumed that of the crown. Elsewhere, in East Anglia and in Wales, that focus for royal servants was provided by others, but Gloucester was still part of that royal connection, not remote from it. In the rest of England, as constable and admiral, he had contributed to the enforcement of royal authority. When he seized power in 1483 he did not do it from outside the prevailing political structure but from its heart."

-Rosemary Horrox, "Richard III: A Study of Service"

[brynn-lear]

LOCKED AND LOADED [Yandere!Wanderer x Reader]

Prompt: The world is about to end. How will you grieve when you're forced to be with a miserable man until the last second? [Dedicated To: @mixed-kester for the Alone Together Event]

Content Tags: yandere!scaramouche "fluff" oneshot (yes, there are no other parts:]), major persona 3 spoilers but you DON’T need to know the game before reading this since everything is explained, improper use of a S.E.E.S evoker /j, Scaramouche is so normal about you, UNRELIABLE NARRATOR, major character death/s–

V. Acceptance.

"Where the hell are you, (Y/n)?"

Standing near what should have been the front doors of his university was a short man with dark purple hair. He leaned precariously against them, his head tilted upward as if the sickly green moon's ominous pull was nothing to be afraid of. Gekkoukan University's nearby dorms– fraternity and sorority houses included– are not usually this silent. Instead of people, coffins were aligned perpendicular to the ground.

The wanderer glanced at his watch with mild interest. He had been waiting for a while now. Your guest hoisted himself up, circling the ground with the tip of his shoe. The baseline of his attitude had always defaulted to irritability and passive-aggressiveness. The vertically aligned hour-and-minute hands do not placate it. The timing itself makes it worse.

It's December 31st, 2009, 12 AM– the Dark Hour.

With a harsh sneer, he pocketed his hands. You usually have the door to the Velvet Room open to him whenever. What's the big deal? Were you seriously THAT mad at him? Really? He didn't do anything to warrant this "pettiness". He had never known silence as much as this moment.

You should've accounted for the hostility that proceeds on the "off-chance" he did arrive early.

His tone darkened, his bloodied hands gripping his S.E.E.S evoker tightly.

"If you don’t show up, I will cleanse the world of human emotion all by myself"

You shook from afar, afraid of how he wouldn't hesitate to make his threat a reality. He had already taken so much– you were beyond mad at him. You were terrified. Wronged. Abused. You didn't want to step into the light. Much worse, step into his shadow.

The worst thing evil can do is to turn you into one of them.

He clutched the bloodied yellow scarf in his hands tightly.

Why did this happen?

How did things END up like this?

IV. Depression.

You took a deep breath and charged forward.

You don't trust [Wanderer] ever since Ryoji told him about the impending apocalypse.

Seldom do you leave the Velvet Room. You weren't hiding in the Velvet room months before the end of the world was imminent. When April had only reached its fourth day, there was nothing you wanted more than to spend time outside. So ignominiously innocent. You did not know who [Wanderer] was and how much effect he would have on your life at the time. You were just tired of the ongoing stream of uneventfulness.

And now here you are, berating the protagonist in full.

"[Wanderer], why is Ryoji missing?! US ATTENDANTS CAN'T FIND TRACK HIM ANYWHERE!!!"

With a fistful of his university uniform, you yanked him by the collar. Your eyes were livid as you reeled your composure. This wasn't what you had in mind when you were "isekai"d into a video game. Out of any game, why did it have to be Persona 3? And out of anyone that could be a protagonist, why did it have to be HIM?!

You thought this would be a grand affair... Whatever they spun in anime back when your reality existed were pure lies. Where are the scenic views? The mountains? The grasslands? This plane of existence you're forced to sit through for eternity was far from the RPG fantasy people would hope for. No closer you could ever be to paradise.

In fact, this man is threatening to ruin said paradise.

[Wanderer] pulled your hands away forcefully. His glare was not that different from yours. "Why do you care about him so much?"

"Oh, I don't know! Maybe it's because his death means forgetting everything?!" You clenched your empty fists. "You know damn well what happens if he dies! You'll lose all the help you can get to stopping the Fall!"

Such a heavy weight on your shoulders but the protagonist doesn't care. This may be a turn-based game– but it wasn't based on you. If it was, you wouldn't be screaming your heart out at him! You wouldn't be an NPC. Hell, you'd probably be a better protagonist than him.

You closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and sighed every stress out of your system.

"Listen—" You rubbed your temple. "You need to start forming bonds. Social links. Support system. Confidants. Whatever you want to call it. You were supposed to have the answer by now as to what life is for."

[Wanderer] remained silent throughout your spiels. His facial expression alone was enough to infer immense disinterest. You were mindlessly doing your job. There will be no tirade or physical aggression that can convince him that you believe in your assertions with full conviction.

"Do you want to see him?"

"Yes! Of course. Knowing you, you're—"

"Tempted to kill him because you think I want the world to end?"

"Obviously."

That's where you're wrong.

A nihilistic man can have other reasons to commit murder.

"But if he's missing, you can forget about him, right?"

"What on earth are you talking about?!"

[Wanderer] turned around. "Meet me later, you know the time."

"I'll show you where Ryoji is."

III. Bargaining.

XX/09/2009

He doesn't recall the time he was brought into this world like you had.

Puppets are malleable. Memories are easy to overwrite when your body is held together by white wood and "khemia". His past evades him.

Maybe it's better this way.

He took you to Chagall Café. Although it was your first time out in a long while, he had no qualms about ignoring your questions. He feigned deafness as you asked about the news, his college life, friends, or anything related to what was happening in 2009. And he even ignored your humble request to buy the cheapest coffee for you. Instead, he bought you a chocolate frappe.

"For Elizabeth's cutest little sibling." He said, sarcastically copying Elizabeth's tone as he sharply handed the drink. "Wouldn't want everyone's darling to get a caffeine addiction."

Thanks, asshat.

Of all his offensive behavior— he really spent more money just to insult you. You shook your head and accepted it. It's the most expensive one on the menu too. What dedication to being a hater. But before you could open your wallet, he shot your payment down.

"Just take it." He smirked. "Look at you, paying me back for treating you poorly. Are you a masochist?"

You immediately shoved your money back in. "You still bought me a free drink, so really, who's the loser here? Prick."

[Wanderer] laughed heartily before he pulled out his battered codal, which had underlined texts for provisions he deemed important. There was a momentary softness in his gaze that disappeared in an instant.

But that's the only conversation he planned on having that evening. He did mention he'll drag you out in his study session so you weren't too shocked by it. Instead, you sat and awkwardly people-watched. The world you came from and this one were identical. You got through your old 2009 just fine— it's just that Tatsumi Port Island was not a real location from your original Japan.

Your memories about the video game Persona aren't very clear since you reincarnated in the game, but the red band [Wanderer] wore on his sleeve affirmed that he is the leader of S.E.E.S. It's nice to know that someone like him has the potential to become a leader.

[Wanderer] appeared wholly immersed in his studies.

…

Maybe he wouldn't notice if you looked around—

…?!

He immediately grabbed your hand. You yelped slightly as you noticed the iron grip he had.

"Where are you going?"

Don't leave him.

He squeezed just a bit more tightly.

"W-What the— I'm just going to the bathroom." You felt a shiver down your spine as you shared his gaze. There's a dull coldness to it you couldn't quite place, as if he had been a witness to injustice, sevenfold.

You quietly sat back down. He still hasn't let go of your hand.

"Good riddance." He muttered.

"If it isn't [Wanderer]!"

You turned around, yanking your hand away.

It's Ryoji.

You stood up, gawking.

"W-Woah, are you okay?" Ryoji asked, hurriedly approaching you. While you were frozen in place, [Wanderer] looked at his empty hand, feeling your warmth escape his fingertips.

G-Good… he's still alive.

You thought [Wanderer] killed him.

[Wanderer] is the wildcard, and that's a terrifying factor to consider. He hasn't shown any interest in humanity. Knowing his past has not increased any hope on your end. Everyone else in his eyes are insignificant insects.

He has the power to end Ryoji.

He has the power to end this world.

Locked and loaded.

Ryoji's eyes softened. "Wait, I think I know a beautiful face like yours from somewhere… You must be [Wanderer]'s attendant, (Y/n), right?"

You blinked.

"Wait, how did you…"

He chuckled, taking and placing a soft kiss on your gloved hands.

"I have my ways." Ryoji winked.

"Don't touch them." [Wanderer] sneered.

Ryoji stood up straight, unfazed by his threatening tone. You took a moment to examine his appearance. He had a lot of white clothing and a big yellow scarf around his neck. Just below his left eye is a mole. On the surface, he appeared quite human, but everyone seated at this table was aware of his true nature.

He is the 13th arcana. The appraiser.

You and [Wanderer] have every right to be wary.

"I'm Ryoji Mochizuki. It's nice to be officially introduced to you, Mx. (Y/n)."

"Ryoji Mochizuki…" You tasted the syllables.

"Oh? Who knew hearing my name from your lips makes it sound so wonderful."

"C-Cut it out, you don't mean that." You said, a little flustered.

[Wanderer]'s gaze fixated on you, stewing in his concoction of envy and misery. His fists were clenched beneath the table, knuckles turning white. With narrowed eyes, he watched as you continued engaging in conversation with Ryoji. His laughter was grating his ears. He couldn't bear the sight of you engaging with another man, especially someone as flirtatious as him.

Ryoji, sensing [Wanderer]'s distress, shot him a casual glance. To top the look, he paired it with a knowing smirk. He made mental notes of the man's clenched jaw and tensed shoulders.

"You seem a little on edge, [Wanderer]. Finals coming up?" He feigned innocence.

"It's December, and I'm not on edge." He scoffed, trying not to make his gritted teeth evident. "Don't you own a calendar? Finals are in March. To think a pea-brain like you managed to transfer to Gekkan…"

"Right, right." Ryoji smiled, closing his eyes. "Then it must be my proposal you're thinking of."

You stiffened; [Wanderer] did not.

"Ryoji—"

"I know, Mx. (Y/n)." He started. "I know you're not too keen on the idea of killing me. My existence is the affirmation of the Fall. None of you— sorry, I forgot (Y/n) is from the Velvet room— I meant none of them will live till Spring… Or perhaps it's more accurate to say they'll forfeit the will to live."

…

"… I-I'm sorry." Ryoji buried his face in his yellow scarf. There's a certain tremble in his voice that truly emphasizes his sorrow. "Just as all living things die, the flow of time cannot be hindered. But there's comfort in killing me. If you do… you won't have to suffer for the coming days."

If [Wanderer] kills Ryoji, Tartarus, the Dark Hour— the burden of everyone's memories will all disappear.

But [Wanderer] can retain his.

He's not originally from this world after all…

However, should he let him live, the rest of S.E.E.S's life will continue until everyone's inevitable demise.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

[Wanderer] rolled his eyes, diverting his eyes back to his notes. "Everyone will die soon, who cares? I've heard your spiel several times already. You need to get more entertaining material."

"[Wanderer]!" You scolded him.

Your eyes widened in disbelief at [Wanderer]'s unwittingly casual jabs at the apocalypse. You wanted to ask him if he was even listening, but the truth will disappoint you. A cold sweat formed on your brow.

Ryoji's smile crooked into a hopeless one.

"You depend on (Y/n) too much."

[Wanderer] froze. "What did you say…?"

"You have a group of people around you, eager to establish a bond— eager to be friends with you. You have met Junpei, Yukari, Mitsuru, Akihiko, Fuuka, and many others– but you don't consider any of them as your friends." Ryoji shook his head. "Instead, you spend your time with just (Y/n). Never anyone else. Just them. To the point that I think it's unhealthy."

"I don't care for humans." He replied immediately.

"You're human too, [Wanderer]." Ryoji shot back. "You're made of blood, bones, and flesh."

[Wanderer] fell silent. What Ryoji said was true, and yet…

"Am I?" He laughed.

The sound was hollow and mechanical. Deprived of genuine mirth. It did not sound forced, yet his eyes were dull.

…

Perhaps he lived as a puppet for so long that the idea of being human has yet to reach him.

Ryoji shifted, uncomfortably glancing between you two. The tension was palpable despite the cafe's peaceful ambiance. Ryoji cleared his throat softly.

"I should leave…" He trailed off, voice slightly wavering. His eyes darted around, scrambling for words to say. "But, um, before I leave, I just want to say again that you need to give it some more thought, [Wanderer]... It's a big deal… Just…"

Ryoji sighed. "Remember to make your choice to spare or kill me by December 31st. I'm glad you're having fun but don't get too distracted with (Y/n). I'll be waiting."

That being said, his footsteps reverberated loudly in the otherwise still room as he turned and headed for the door. He dared to turn back as he grabbed for the doorknob and saw you two sharing a look that he couldn't determine if it was one of contemplation or displeasure. He hurried out and the cafe door shut behind him.

"Happy?" [Wanderer] bitterly asked.

You paused for a moment… then grinned.

"Tsk, what are you laughing at, worm?"

"Nothing, nothing!" You shrugged. "I just thought that for a guy with a stick up his ass, you're cute when you're jealous."

That riled [Wanderer] up in an instant.

You do not know the full extent of his envy's filth.

"I am NOT—" He stopped, realizing how counterproductive it would be. "Whatever. I don't care."

"Uhuh?"

"Shut up and finish your damn chocolate!"

II. Anger.

Before you know it, it's April.

"Seriously, you three, I'm bored as fuck! Can't I just take a stroll outside?" You yelled, waving the heavy persona compendium in the air as your sisters ignored you.

It hasn't been long since you reincarnated, so your right to go outside isn't as liberal. Given the impending threat of an apocalypse, the Velvet Room attendants are especially overprotective.

"(Y/n), dear sibling, watch your mouth! You mustn't let Igor or Nameless hear you speak so vulgarly."

Taking a good look at your new "siblings", you've noticed how almost everyone was present. Margaret sat elegantly on the sofa while Theodore & Elizabeth were doing their best to calm you down. It's almost rare to have all three in one place. The three oldest were busy-bodies who had more eccentric matters they devoted their attention to. Including rapping and dancing, though neither performances are good for your senses.

"If boredom plagues you, then you should try teasing Theodore." Elizabeth yawned. "He's easy pickings."

"Sister!" Theodore pouted. "Shouldn't (Y/n) focus on studying how fusing works? It would be a better use of their time…"

"The day (Y/n)'s new wildcard learns the value of social links might just be the day miserly politicians become generous." Elizabeth shrugged.

You paled, tugging her sleeve. "Oh fuck… Am I screwed?"

She gave you a lopsided smile. "I may be your new sibling but that does not mean I am obliged to resolve your problems, (Y/n). Learn to solve this on your own."

Theodore coughed.

"Please, stop scaring them, sister Elizabeth. It's not their fault this new guest is a cruel arbiter. I fear there will not be a second of groundless joy in store for them…"

"You're not helping me relax either! Motherfucker. Can't you two speak normally?"

"Settle down, all of you."

The four of you stood straight as Igor tilted his chin up. Though you've gotten used to his bloodshot gaze, it had a way of prickling your skin this time around. With his signature smile, he closed his eyes and snapped his fingers.

"Our guest is about to enter."

"W-Wait, RIGHT NOW?!?"

Before you could react, the room transformed into what appeared to be a large elevator. The walls were barred and creaking noises began to subtly make their presence. A floating door materialized, and soon, opened.

Dark purple hair and eyes, short frame, soft face.

"…Hmm?"

You blinked.

"Wait, no way…"

You know him.

Of course, you know him.

"Everyone, meet [Wanderer]."

You decided that you two should reintroduce yourselves and forget that the past ever happened.

For now, you had been gifted with a vital role: being the protagonist's attendant.

According to your Igor, your role is to assist your guest in fusing personas. He had chosen you specifically in advance as you are his "anima/animus figure". Initially, that job was for Elizabeth. However, your beliefs, your intuition, your emotions— they're in perfect tune with [Wanderer]. Igor expects you to facilitate their spiritual and psychological growth and implore them to interact more with others.

Which, based on that alone, sounds like this puppet just hired an unpaid therapist.

"What do you want?"

"Well…"

Since you became [Wanderer]'s attendant, you've started to have thicker skin. He will always make his crankiness known each visit. You're slightly grateful for it, for how else would you know patience otherwise? Though his personality rubs you the wrong way, his strength does have merits you cannot ignore. Even Belladona, the Velvet Room's devout singer, had sung praises for his mettle. There was one line that struck you about her song, something about him being like a puppet with a beating heart unbeknownst to himself…

Which is why you thought you might as well try to see if you could convince him to take you out sometimes.

"What, like a date?" [Wanderer] scoffed then smirked, a light blush on his face. "Are you really that desperate?"

"No, eww—" You rolled your eyes. "I meant it literally. Igor and the others wouldn't let me go outside unless I'm with someone they trust."

He looked away and covered his mouth, his shoulders trembling slightly.

"Like a child?"

"Yeah, yeah, shut the fuck up." You deadpanned, your pride slightly chipped. "Like a child or whatever you want to see it, as long as it gets me out of here. I just want to see the world before it all…"

You paused.

Better not to bring it up. You're not sure if Igor told him yet.

[Wanderer] raised an eyebrow. "What's in it for me?"

You shrugged. "Is money not enough?"

He paused.

…

"You've got to be kidding me— Fine, what else do you want?"

His eyelids lowered, hissing slightly. "Evil expects evil from others, huh? I wasn't trying to think of anything more, but now that I think about it…"

"Oh, great."

"… I can take your request," he pointed at you. "But only if you join me in the library. Anywhere else, especially loud places like clubs, I'll send your ass back."

That's a no-brainer.

"Deal!"

Though you've missed the peculiar sight, [Wanderer] had a small smile on his face as you shook hands. The two of you had become nearly inseparable since then.

Worryingly, he's closer to you than other humans.

The only relationship he needed was with you.

And with what little time this world has left, you hope you could have a last cup of coffee with him…

I. Denial.

Your reality crumbled. What a START.

Your family, friends... all gone. No one was left. You convince yourself you "deserved" this punishment for smoking a life away with dreadful workloads, no matter how untrue it was. When the world burnt down, you were sent into a darkness you had not known before.

The person in charge of your reincarnation process told you that for the next few minutes, you and a selected companion will see your lives flash before your eyes in a void— and it will not necessarily be a comforting sight.

But you woke up relaxed. In an abyss filled with broken mirrors meant to depict your character to pieces, you donned a plain expression. There was not an inch of you that grieved for what was lost. Similarly, you had no care for how you were being transmigrated to another realm. Though you had grown accustomed to this isolation, humanity always struggled with silence. There was ringing on your fingers. When you unclasped your hands, you saw a pointed shard. Curiously, you clenched it. But no matter the tightness of your grip, no blood came out.

Your breath fogged up the glass. You wondered why that Memokeeper told you that you deserve to live on. You thought your life was rather unremarkable.

Makes sense. You thought to yourself. I'd rather pride myself on a boring life with integrity than an ambitious yet fraudulent one.

「Assignments. Commute. Study. Review. Assignments. Commute. Study. Review. Was that all your life was...? Then tell me, little (Y/n), why does the mirror in front of you appear distorted?」

And so, you gazed forward. Your reflection stood tall, larger than your life, and it beckoned you to come closer. This "(Y/n) (L/n)" had the opposite of a Cheshire grin- perhaps a caricature- perhaps an accurate depiction. Wearied of yourself and wearied of the sycophantic students around you. How unhappy are you to see yourself as someone like this? Are these the emotions you wish to be preserved? Is this the memory you want your world to be remembered by?

「These memories must be corrupted. Someone must be tampering with them. I do not think you lived a miserable life.」

I can't answer your questions either. But I think that reflection is who I am, because sometimes...

"I wish I had never been born at all."

Your lips were parted, but no sound came out. You resonated with those words, but they did not come from you. The voice was dark, hopeless, and alone.

When you were being sent off, you thought no one was around to greet you. There was another man. He had short hair and purple eyes- an incredibly rare sight in your world. This man seemed to be gazing at his reflection as well. You needn't know how he saw himself. The emptiness in his eyes did not differ from yours. He, too, was masking isolation as independence with an intense fragility. The dread he inflicted upon you was the closest you've ever gotten to facing your own perceived "weakness".

His memories were a mixbag. Some were filled with domestic bliss, but the anger in his heart triumphed more. He had friends but thought himself betrayed. His heart was constructed through a system of evasions, and he was a specialist in self-deception. This man knew little of emotions but had an abundance of it. It's no wonder he refused to sacrifice the artistry of his vengeance against humanity. You can sympathize with how he could not attach himself to those around him. He was burdened with malicious knowledge. Fakes. Lies. Insincerities. A class of his own.

However, he had a sin you cannot empathize with. A trait you can read that you're certain he had never noticed about himself.

He was a sickeningly beautiful man with a peculiar innocence.

He looked like a man who truly did not live in the real world.

This man did not feel real to you. He felt made-up. Fictional. His aura of flawlessness appalled you. Though you shared the same sentiments, you thought him dimensionless.

Yet this is supposedly your first meeting.

「Is it? Where have you seen him before? Can't you remember, dear (Y/n)?」

No. No, I can't.

「... What a shame. Worry no more, little (Y/n). Close your eyes. When you wake up, you will meet your new reality— new realm— new family.」

You nodded and agreed to a higher existence you did not believe in. Unlike others, you were a little bit more incapable of trusting a living soul. But there's no other choice.

Life is ordinarily far from anyone's control in the first place. Why bother fighting? If following can make her fuck off, it doesn't matter.

Nothing matters.

Wait…

Is that…

Scaramouche?

Before you closed your eyes and accepted your fate, you could've sworn...

He looked at you with a crooked grin.

「Thou art I... And I am thou...

Thou hast established a new bond...

Thou shalt be blessed when creating

Personas of the Universe Arcana..."」

"Hmm. Strange… Is that truly the order of the story?"

A woman stared at you.

Not (Y/n) (L/n).

YOU.

BEHIND.

THE.

SCREEN.

She smiled wryly.

Hate might empower you for a short while, but it comes at the cost of consuming you whole. Should a shard or any surface reflect [Wanderer]'s face, he would understand what he had become. However, it's too late. He had made his choice and stomped away any remorse he could have. When all is said and done, he alone will spread the ashes. He alone will stand. A blank slate.

[Wanderer] spent his life looking for scapegoats and ended up removing his responsibility.

Betrayals?

What a sad, sad puppet.

What a poor excuse to justify an entire apocalypse.

A poor excuse of a man.

"THE ARCANA IS THE MEANS BY WHICH ALL IS REVEALED." She muttered softly. "And you have been reading your story in REVERSE. Perhaps this is the only way this world can attain SALVATION. The chronological order is not a slice of life. You did not have a disagreement and decided to start your relationship over again. Life is far more WICKED."

"Read it again, but from DENIAL to ACCEPTANCE. The proper way to GRIEVE DEATH."

With great reluctance, she took the five cards laid on the table and placed them in an upright position.

"Let's see if you'd rather ACCEPT the truth or live in DENIAL."

Mixed-Kester can now message Wanderer [prior to 12/31/2009]

[iatrophilosophos]

From a US perspective, I think a way more thoughtful and useful lens of critique is that this country did & is responding to covid in the best way that's actually possible for it-- CONTRASTS with the AIDS epidemic, lesser-known public health crises (like deadly weight loss fads!), the historical* management of + even the deeply violent eradication efforts against previously endemic diseases like TB, and the general state of non-contageous chronic illness management will lay this bare.

*within your grandparents lifetime.

This is actually the best this state, this way of LIFE, is capable of. That SHOULD piss you off, it SHOULD seem horrific.

The lens that this is an anomalous tragedy and not a massive R E L A T I V E """success"""" is contradicted by the historical record and leads nowhere. I suppose I have nothing to much to say to people who are extremely stuck on this "i have a right to never get sick ever" kind of idea, bc i think that's simply an unfeasible position to hold as a living body and betrays an unfortunate lack of thoughtfulness and regard for, uh, literally anyone with a genetic/ otherwise non-externally-aquired disability; but short of that like. There's ways of thinking about this shit that lead somewhere. There's ways of thinking about how civ is hostile to disabled beings, and causes certain kinds of disabilities certainly, while also rejecting the notion of a perfect Ur-body as a "natural state". Yever looked at a wild animal? A fucking TREE? those things are fucked up yo. To live is not to be made in the perfect image of an abled anglo-saxon God, but to be born through a chaotic and imperfect and highly variable smashing together of organic material; to get screwed up by time; to exist in an ecosystem of pathogens and physical dangers and bear their marks--NOT PASSIVELY! Not without medicine, an extremely basic activity of living beings shared by other animals, not without learning, strategizing, reducing spread; not without accommodation and aid; but these are all activities through which we *participate* in the ecosystem, not rise above it.

Yes, some diseases have been nearly eradicated, but they have been replaced by *new ones*, MRSA and other antibiotic resistant infections, covid, and so on. Open a niche and something else will grow there.

It is hard to go through, it is hard to learn to live with, but at base level it is not a tragedy to get sick. The horror, the tragedy, the injustice is a world that does not make *space* for the realities of that sickness; that doesn't support effective medicine; that doesn't allow for the neccesary reconfiguration of lives in response to sickness--where even with the prompt research and highly funded attempts at remediation that so many other people have been denied, the basic demands and structures of our ways of life result in mass death.

[dandelion-network]

"Because dead things felt only love for the universe." A dreamy, doom fanmix dedicated to Jeff VanderMeer's Dead Astronauts.

i. ivixor b / phase inducer - electric wizard // ii. white stork - bossk // iii. ekpyrotic - the otolith // iv. the screen - yob // v. the shooting star - gojira // vi. souvlaki space station - slowdive // vii. moon in your mouth - goldfrapp // viii. ptolemaea - ethel cain // ix. evaporate - a.a. williams // x. feather - windhand // xi. fight like gods - chelsea wolfe // xii. marked for death - emma ruth rundle // xiii. drag me into the woods - holy fawn // xiv. the things they believe - loathe, john waug // xv. and, we disappear - alaskan tapes.

i. ivixor b / phase inducer - electric wizard : I chose an instrumental as the first song in this mix and this specific song because it emulates the feeling of traversing a desert wasteland, similar to the astronauts' odyssey heading toward the Company during the first part of the book. There are radio signals and warbbing-like sounds along with unintelligible speech in the background that remind me of the original Star Trek where there'd be random 'scifi' noises.

ii. white stork - bossk : Another instrumental track. While Ivixor B / Phase Inducer felt more passive to me, almost a song that would assist setting the vibe of the story's landscape, White Stork for me is the song of desert's active mystery and signs of hostility. It hasn't asserted itself yet, but there's a kind of danger lurking as the story progresses.

iii. ekpyrotic - the otolith : I consider this song to be the theme of all the living beings in either opposition to the Company or those separate from the dichotomy of friend and foe. The foxes are the first that came to mind when listening to this song. The subject of the song is the interconnectedness of all living beings and rebirth, along with the inherent power of being one's true self that cannot be contained. [Lyrics]

iv. the screen - yob : This song represents confrontation, violence between the astronauts and their other selves, the dark bird, the behemoth. An ancient battle forever taking place. It also makes me think of the horror Charlie X experienced during his time with the Company. It's his pain, the pain he inflicts, his need to please what he and the Company demand of him. There's almost this ancient rite he performs when constructing his creations. And of course, the violence done upon the foxes by man. [Lyrics]

v. the shooting star - gojira : This is thee theme for the astronauts - Grayson, Moss, and Chen -, the song that represents not only their mission or their struggles as they fight to succeed, but also their connection with one another. I think of the last four bars of the song: everlasting-love is ever-growing / hang on to what you have and let it grow / everlasting-love is ever-dying / it's in the past, you have to let it go. [Lyrics]

vi. souvlaki space station - slowdive : This song brings more of the dreamy, abstract imagery that I experienced when reading the book. it reflects more of the subdued moments in the story. There's a refusal in the song to confront someone. It feels like the disconnection between the astronauts and Charlie X. [Lyrics]

vii. moon in your mouth - goldfrapp : The astronauts love each other. Moss cares so much for Chen, Chen cares so much for Moss, Grayson cares so much for Moss and Chen, and they for her. I wanted to celebrate that while also moving away from the confrontational sounds and lyrics of the earlier tracks. Because of the lighter note, you can think of this song as something from the very beginning of their mission, before trials, before the violence really took hold. Maybe even when they still had Charlie X. [Lyrics]

viii. ptolemaea - ethel cain : We're back at the Company and Charlie X surviving his father. That's really what this is, it's the section of the book where we really learn what Charlie X has done and what has been done to him by his father, by the Company: you poor thing / sweet mourning lamb / there's nothing you can do / it's already been done. The one of the scariest parts of the story. [Lyrics]

ix. evaporate - a.a. williams : It's the general sense of despair. The despair in moments of fear, violence, pain. Uncertainty really. Might seem like a throwaway because I don't have that much to say about it, but I know it feels Right to include. A lot of characters harm themselves, either by their own hand or they put themselves in harm's way. [Lyrics]

x. feather - windhand : We're returning to sounds that remind me of the wasteland again. Could be viewed as despair but I see it as acceptance of what must be done. There's something about it that reminds me most of the blue fox. The sense of knowing that is to come, what has come. [Lyrics]

xi. fight like gods - chelsea wolfe : The closest songs I can find right now that reminds me of the foxes, but the blue fox specifically. The violence upon them frightening like the violence upon Charlie X - moreso even. Turned to retribution, to revolution, to revenge. Oh did they fight like gods. [Lyrics]

xii. marked for death - emma ruth rundle : Another love song, in all the ways to define love. For Moss and Chen. For Moss and Grayson. For Charlie X and the dark bird. For the blue fox and the foxes, the blue fox and perhaps the Strange Bird; for the Strange Bird and... Who will be there when you are dying, when you are dead, when you are going to die. [Lyrics]

xiii. drag me into the woods - holy fawn : I am reminded most of the transformations and changes and alterations the characters go through. Less of a violence and more of the enviably of it? The awareness of it. The changes that happen not so much out of violence but from a place of love or the natural order of things. [Lyrics]

xiv. the things they believe - loathe, john waug : The instrumentals have returned. Some loose ends aren't so loose anymore. Some things make some sense. It's that dreamy landscape again. The dust settling in its own way. A respite from what we've been through.

xv. and, we disappear - alaskan tapes : "We will always be there. Even before we know you. Even after we've known you. Even then. And, finally, she was free."

[gold-rhine]

If it's not too much trouble, could you expand on Diluc's "already incoherent characterization" you mentioned in one of your recent posts? I'm just curious cause I also feel that there's something off about him writing-wise but I can't put my finger on it.

sigh. so, at the start of the game hoyo wrote diluc as super aggressive and negative towards kaeya specifically and knights in general, and all of their interactions are very hostile. they are having bitch fights every time they are in the same room.

like, fandom likes to pretend that diluc has guilt, bc of like some anonymous message on a public board that sounds like it's diluc feeling bad, which hoyo back-wrote. but they can't gaslight me, i just recently replayed start of the game content on my new account. like first time diluc appears is in kaeya's domain after traveler and kaeya cleared it, and diluc bitches at kaeya for no fucking reason and kaeya is v passive aggressive back at him. they have bitch fight in venti's quest. diluc's entire quest is about him trying to keep kaeya from discovering he's darknight hero and he specifically makes it known that kaeya is unwelcome every time he shows up in the tavern. and he sounds negative when bringing up kaeya for any reason.

and then hoyo started to back-pedal. idk what happened, maybe the direction of the plot shifted. maybe the writer who was writing them in this conflict vein quit. maybe at the start they only had vague idea of like brothers at war with each other, and once they started to flesh it out and add nuance, they've realized that like, burning your baby brothers' eye out might be understandable in the moment of trauma and shock, but then acting like you're on high horse and treating him like garbage for YEARS after is a bit of a psycho behavior.

quick aside bc i know there are ppl who think that, um, kaeya "deserved" it and like. he was what, not older than 10 when he was left at the winery. and he was about 17 when he confessed. he was a traumatized kid who kept a secret bc his bio father told him that the fate of his entire country depends on it. get a grip. but as i said, with the same logic, diluc was also in shock and trauma, and i do not fault him the fight itself. what doesn't track is how diluc acts years LATER, when he had time to think.

so they started to drastically soften diluc AND back-writing retcons. Hidden Strife letters are all about it. They were like oh, brothers were always in contact! Diluc is not a maniac, he was polite to the knights and he told kaeya to take care :) :) :) this creates new set of problems. not only it gives diluc personality split where he was incredibly aggressive to kaeya in person, but apparently normal in the letters. But also, we have letters from Kaeya that make it obvious he knew immediately that diluc is a darknight hero and they both were chill about it. But like! diluc's entire story quest is about him trying to keep kaeya from learning that! like, come on! why then diluc did all these stupid scooby doo shenanigans with slimes and shit???

now i think they are trying to shift responsibility for reconciliation from diluc to kaeya, which is the only issue that affects kaeya's own characterization. bc they are very hard going into "all servants at winery ADORE kaeya and treat him like family and welcome him!!" and fandom like, extends it to diluc now, like diluc is welcoming kaeya too and kaeya is a silly goose who has his hang ups and refuses to visit. as if getting your eye burned off, trying to reach out first and getting "ugh, its you" treatment when you show up at your brother's tavern is just like. a lil awkward situation that kaeya himself should get over without any effort on diluc's side and he should just ~realize~ that he's still part of the family lol. and ppl justify it like "well we don't know how diluc actually feels, he probably feels guilt (anon message) and wants to reconcile". which like. so we don't know, but kaeya is supposed to figure out and reach out AGAIN, when diluc at any time could've just told him that he's welcomed.

and now in kaeya's hangout we learn more about their childhoods which tbh hurts diluc even more. like how are we gonna be pretending that diluc cares about kaeya when he returned to mond and found his baby brother, who was apparently the sweetest gentlest child in the world, his loyal shadow for entire childhood, couldn't lie, was taking punishments for diluc, and see him now becoming a high functioning alcoholic with brazenly unhealthy persona of liar and manipulator, and like NOT get worried and try to reach out. which i don't think it was hoyo's intention, they just wanted to add the tragic sweetie uwu to kaeya's characterization, but they did not think how it reflect on diluc in global context

so now diluc's characterization flip flopped in several directions, and he doesn't really has an arc or plotline going. he's kinda just there now, more of symbol than character, and hoyo just writes whatever they want for him without any regard for any previous lore

[hughiecampbelle]

requests are open! 🩷

this includes fics, headcanons, preferences, and imagines 💕ships are not open 💗

I'm only writing for these characters atm:

Billy Butcher

Hughie Campbell

M.M.

Frenchie

Kimiko

Starlight

Homelander

A-Train

Queen Maeve

The Deep

Noir

Soldier Boy

Luke Riordan

Jordan Li

Andre Anderson

Cate Dunlap

Marie Moreau

Emma Meyer

Sam Riordan

A fic request can have up to three prompts: one from each list! No other type of request involves prompts. I have example requests below. I won't write NSFW under any circumstances and I will tweak requests so that they fit my rules. If you request off anonymous, you'll be tagged. Please feel free to request, I love all of these characters! Please be respectful/kind and please no spamming! 💕 Thank you! 💜💜💜

Here are my regular rules for requesting overall!

Example Requests:

Imagine being Lukes twin sibling who is immune to Cates powers. Ty! 💕

Hi! Can I request a fic for M.M. with the prompts 4.) Exhaustion, 13.) Gauze, and 45.) You're sweet when you're drunk. Thanks!

Headcanon's for being Annies twin who's not a Supe?

Preference for The Boys + Homelander/Soldier Boy reacting to you being badly wounded. Thank you!

Gen V Preference for caring for a sick reader? Thanks 🩷

Description:

Shatter

Wail

Rot

Exhaustion

Elation

Fragile

After thought

Ignore

Bliss

Content

Avoid

Rupture

Hum

Whistle

Burn

Sing

Bite

Pinch

Patience

Sigh

Hush

Rest

Tangle

Stitch

Hostile

Soft

Cautious

Scatter

Thoughtful

Intimate

Hidden

Repulse

Shrink

Smudge

Passive

Off-putting

Superstitious

Engagement

Infect

Sincerity

Ease

Torn

Flirt

Gnaw

Expose

Faithful

Thankful

Intrude

Cross

Curse

Spoil

Faint

Fury

Desperate

Opaque

Thrill

Irritate

Fade

Fever

Tease

Object:

Red wine

Broken glass

Wildflowers

Baby bottle

Burning candle

Scratched floors

Leaky sink

Wrinkled bedsheets

Wet paint

Paw prints

Muddy puddles

Handwritten letter

Gauze

Graveyard

Nightmare

Shooting stars

Crime scene

Boiling water

Shoes tapping

Melted butter

Knuckles cracking

Loud laughter

Radio static

Old books

Shattered mirror

Crows feet

Undeserved confidence

Grey hair

Wedding ring

Ink splatter

Gun metal

Hot stove

Dying fire

Nap time

Dirty glasses

Scraped knees

Lock and key

Happy hour

Aching muscles

Clawfoot tub

Patchwork quilt

Freckles

Thunder and lightning

Velvet

Chandelier

Wool coat

Soapy water

Play pretend

Haunted house

Quiet disdain

Dry anger

Silent treatment

Cold shoulder

Home sweet home

Foggy dreams

Slamming doors

Summer buzz

Smudged lipstick

Broken spine

Bloodshot eyes

Dialogue:

“Stop talking”

“You have an attitude problem”

“Get away from me”

“Go”

“You’re staring”

“Congratulations”

“You have nothing to worry about”

“I’ll be discreet”

“Stay here”

“You’re a terrible liar”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing”

“If I wanted to, I would have already”

“I don’t owe you anything”

“You should be scared”

“Stop and think”

“I’m not a child/kid”

“Are you even listening?”

“Who’d you steal that from?”

“And you are?”

“I missed you”

“You’re unbelievable”

“This isn’t working”

“Alone?”

“Don’t get the wrong idea”

“You’re sweet”

“You?”

“Don’t underestimate me”

“Be careful”

“You think you’re so funny”

“I can’t explain it”

“Say something”

“I give up”

“There is no us”

“Still awake?”

“I was trying to help”

“If I ignore you, maybe you’ll go away”

“Stop right there”

“I can’t help it”

“You wish”

“Sorry?”

“Not now”

“Fuck you”

“Teach me”

“Stop yelling”

“You’re sweet when you’re drunk”

“I called you a hundred times”

“You’re not smart, you’re lucky”

“This is your fault”

“Look at me”

“I don’t blame you”

“I did it”

“You talk too much”

“When did I ever say that?”

“Working late?’

"You never stop, do you?”

“It’s okay”

“Whats all this?”

“You seriously forgot?”

“Dinner? With me?”

“You’re covered in blood”

[spacexseven]

V LATE REPLY BECAUSE I HAVE LONGER QUESTIONS AND ANSWER FOR YOU TUNA! bit here i throw these ones.

if only your ability didn't need you to kill...in that case, are you really to blame? such what-ifs only work in your favor, and if it comes to the point for a majority believes that you're needed alive, if only because you can be a wonderful weapon for the special division (much like how despite how his ability is considered the most dangerous, ayatsuji is kept alive and working), and the ada is given the work of keeping you alive and preventing you from harming others...then yes i can make a wonderful little thing w yan dazai (and ada) hehehe

A: delusional yanderes (my beloved). A quick background check helps in the implication that sk reader actions, while drastic, were merely built on survival. in a kinder world sk reader “would be a good person” but they “had to” be cruel to survive. Its half truths and lies that are stretched far too thin fit a false narrative that plants the seeds of a festering obsession within the ADA and Ayatsuji. Tsujimura and Ayatsuji can be placed as SK Reader’s semi-handlers. Watching over period to ensure that SK reader rehabilitation is working as intended. It doesn’t please Ayatsuji to have to part ways, but he doesn’t have much of a choice with giving SK readers to the ADA.

SK reader has a hostile and wary group of people who aren’t exactly pleased with the arrangement but are willing to attempt to give SK the benefit of the doubt. It’s a boring turn of events, but SK Reader can longer collect any abilities, nor hunt down any ability user without a proper reason. The mysterious killer suddenly goes missing, and the cases go unsolved. Of course, the truth is a bitter pill for many involved, but the saying: “how much is a person worth?” comes to mind as SK reader’s quiet fate is chosen, and the outcome shows that SK Reader’s Ability is worth over a dozen guilty and innocent lives.

Life is not fair. SK reader case shows that to many and the results lives a poisonous cocktail of emotions to stew. For, Dazai Osamu, it leaves a mess of anger and attraction to build up. (more thoughts on this man in the second question)

I feel Yosano probably develops this way towards SK reader too but its much more slow burn and with dignity. Given her past with Mori and the whole war, its natural for her to avoid getting too attached to people. She already has a low opinion on a murderer who kills people for merely having an “interesting” ability. She’s one of the more full blown hostile and indifferent yet passive aggressive ada members. At least at the start of it. She’s probably noticing the behavior of others first before she notices her own. Her own obsession and repression blinding her actions with quick, yet childish lies. Her hand linger on SK reader’s body when they get injured. Well, she just needs ro make sure SK readers injuries aren’t severe. She finds herself bantering, not arguing or scoffing at SK reader, but full blown banter. As if they’re friends, and not a guard and a prisoner who barely escaped their own execution. The feeling of want and lust breaks her ideals. She won’t cage or break SK reader. She won’t be like that man. She won't And yet, when she looks at the mirror, the horror that consumes Yosano is horrible because she doesn’t see Yosano Akiko in the mirror, but only Mori Ougai staring back at her.

or you know. dazai is losing himself in the desire to get revenge on the person who killed oda. but while trying to find you, somehow it turns into him learning more about you. somehow your evil existence turns into something addictive and alluring for him. who are you, really? dazai feels like he's the only one who knows. and you're the last connection between him and oda (since ango is gone too), so he's even more fixated on you. if you went after them, then why not him? everyone knows the infamous ability nullifier, right? cherry on top is if you blatantly tell him you have no use for his ability. i think it'd break him to the point where he completely loses himself

I do love hurting Dazai. His ability nullifies SK readers and in a way, nullifies and destroys everything sk reader has worked for. With his ability, there is no point in hunting and going after ability users, he’ll merely cancel it and it devolves to a physical fight rather than an ability fight. His ability is also rather boring and a “cheat” one that sk reader probably dislikes. I feel SK reader values work because they always work in getting the abilities they want and carefully maneuver their way into getting said abilities. While Dazai is heavily interesting and very complex, I feel that SK reader is someone who doesn’t project their own feelings onto others. Dazai’s been projected by Fyodor, Chuuya, Akutagawa, Mori, and even Oda. SK reader doesn’t have that need to understand or be near Dazai. He’s just the person who holds a powerful, but boring, (and the biggest sin for an ability, or at least I think SK reader would feel, it’s for it to be boring) compared to other seemingly dull ones. I genuinely find it ironic in a horrible and tragic way, that dazai would most likely project his own feelings and ideas on SK reader and feel as if only he, Dazai Osamu, truly knows you. Dazai becomes something like Akutagawa, always chasing after someone. He’s like Nikolai but worse in a pathetic and depressing way (so basically in canon anyways). He has journals filled with newspapers and photos of you. Random garbage and items that you dropped or wouldn’t notice being taken (Reader probably has but doesn’t feel threatened yet). He haunts SK reader, nipping at their heels like a starving dog. Unlike Nikolai, Dazai consumes ascoets of SK reader. He buys (or steals, maybe just takes the original) the same shirt Sk reader was wearing a day ago, the shoes they were gazing at or recently bought. records the shows sk reader enjoys or would like to watch. the food that they like to eat. the brands sk reader uses. the same shampoo.He records common words sk reader uses, or phrases they repeat. Whenever dazai wakes up, it's always to sk reader’s voice. But the looks SK reader gives him (indifference, boredom, annoyance) when they tell him that they have no use for such “boring and cheating like ability” gives a despair filled filling that not even Oda’s death gave him. (Honestly, Dazai is pur punching bag in this au and he’s the fyodor with god darling.) - 🦄 (the rest of the ada is still being finished, plus the other question and answers i have. this only the brief thoughts on this idea. Including yosano because she’s so fun to imagine as yandere)

okay quickly before i start!!! for some reason it totally slipped my mind that dazai's ability is. literally nullifying other abilities so😭trying to steal his ability would result in a singularity or something. i don't know how i mentioned his ability and still forgot?!?!

okay yea i just wanted to say that Anyways moving on

i do like having tsujimara and ayatsuji (tsuji2) as sort of sk reader's handlers (esp because both ayatsuji and reader are considered to have dangerous abilities and what not) also reluctant cooperation to ayatsuji becoming obsessed w sk reader is sooo fun heheh

in terms of the ada, much like how dazai's record was wiped and he was sent to the ada, sk reader gets a clean slate (they have to do it themselves since mushitarou is dead like sk reader and their interesting takes about abilities and ability users, especially if they show some form of admiration to ranpo first) is the only one who's explicitly told about what he's dealing with. he's not pleased, but better have you here than on the streets killing more users, or worse yet, in mori's hands

yosano finds out your identity when you use an ability you've stolen, one she recognizes from seeing the corpse of the user on the news. and once she finds out, everything she thought she knew about you feels like a lie. she might start hating you. she's someone who treasures life and people, and knowing you do what you do for your own reasons, with no regard for the users you've slaughtered fills her with anger. still, it's complicated. you were introduced to her as someone who made some mistakes, but has a chance at rehabilitation. wasn't that her, too? after tormenting all the soldiers (though against her will), she was given a chance to live with the ada, despite her past. when she thinks about the conversations you've had with her, the times she's used her ability on you and you've never once shied away from her touch, despite knowing she had to hurt you to heal you...it hurts. she remembers how you busted into an underground hideout once, to save her when she was taken by an enemy organization. now she knows the ability you used to save her then, came at the cost of a life. and she doesn't know how to feel about that.

there must be a reason that fukuzawa and ranpo have kept silent about your past. that everyone has treated you with the same familiarity the others get. and there must be a reason you're here now, that you took the opportunity to come to the ada instead of continuing your crimes. she wants to believe it; that you had changed. that your past didn't matter. after all, when you leaned on her arm after a night of drinking and told her you liked her company, that must have meant something, right? when you listened to her story and squeezed her hand, you felt for her, right? there was some humanity in you, and the little bit of it was enough for her—but only for her. she tells you that the others won't be welcoming if they knew who you are, hoping that, at the very least, you'd distance yourself from them if you believed that. she lies about their feelings towards ability users that abuse their power, claims that even if the special division begged the ada to help you, they'd toss you out at once. she lies and pretends she doesn't remind herself of someone she hates.

most ability users find dazai's ability annoying, but this blatant hatred you have for his is painful. you like figuring out how abilities work, how their users can use it to their advantage and how it shapes a person; but dazai's serves you no use (and you tell him all this to his face, not at all worried about how he may react), it only renders abilities useless, it only negates power. it doesn't contribute, doesn't leave a trace—it's not even permanent. and, when you think of the others in your collection, it's just boring.

"besides," you say, unbothered by dazai's obvious pain, "i have better things to do than entertain your stupid questions. the user of flawless (it rips him apart, how you can't even say oda's name) is dead, and nothing you do now will change that."

since you don't give him the answers he wants, he instead decides he can only find them out by following you. dazai thinks you'd be the kind of person everyone hates, the sort that harboured such hatred for the world that you'd turn to committing brutal crimes out of anger and jealousy. but it's far from the truth. what he sees of you is...an unbelievably normal person. you smile at the barista that makes your morning coffee, you stop to pet the stray cats that rub against your leg, you read books and listen to music and you're so ordinary like this that it makes his head spin. how were you the same ruthless murderer that he met before?

the salt in his wound is nikolai. seeing you talk to him, listen and entertain his questions, letting him walk you to the station after a murder like it was the end of a regular day fills him with an unfamiliar feeling. he watches nikolai ask when you'll go after him, sees you smile sharply and wink back, instead of your usual glowering silence. he realizes how you're warming up to the clown, becoming familiar with him. you even call him by his name—nikolai, you say, amused—and not by his ability. nobody else earned that honor from you. and it feels like you've stabbed him straight in the heart.

this all sets off his all consuming obsession with you. it's pathetic, how he searches desperately for something. it's not the answers he came looking for, but it's even more important. he looks for clues in your empty coffee cup and the cream you use on your hands. he searches for evidence in the books you read and your contacts list. he digs for the meaning behind why you keep the torn glove of nikolai gogol and why his name is on the list of abilities you plan to steal. by the end of it, dazai can't even recognize why he's doing this for.

he doesn't bother to hide his tracks, but it doesn't matter. as always, all you offer him is an uninterested, passive look, even when you find him in your room, looking at your papers.

"if you have to be a creep," you say, your apathetic tone twisting the knife in his heart, "at least have the courtesy to clean up after yourself." and that's all there is to it.

[callmearcturus]

Do you have stats in mind for our main man Benji?

Of course I do. We all know what brand of Freak I am, and it's the freak who will never get over FONV.

STRENGTH: 4. Sorry Benji but it's true.

PERCEPTION: 9. This is Benji's peak Stat, imo, and it's his biggest utility in the team. He's sharp, he spots things happening, and he keeps relevant blips of information on his mental radar even when he's focused on other things. (The airport scene in DR1 displays this well.)

ENDURANCE: 6. I think barring Luther who is The Van Guy, all IMF folks have at least a 6 in END.

CHARISMA: 10. This is secretly Benji's Actual most important stat as the soul of the team and the ballast to Ethan. He gets people to imprint on him remarkably fast and holds their loyalty easily. He and Ethan are both Charisma Kings but Ethan employs it overtly while Benji, it's a passive buff protecting him.

INTELLIGENCE: 7, which is very respectable. It's not higher bc that's Luther’s main stat and Benji is more of an jack of all trades.

AGILITY: 5. Middle of the road. Perfectly fine.

LUCK: oooooh toughie. As someone who always rolls at least 8 Luck, I have v strong opinions on this one... I think Benji has 4 Luck. He just doesn't get those staggering wild successes that are associated with high Luck. There is no fortune god smiling upon him, he has to brute force everything thru actual talent. He can't pull a "we just have to hope they've never met" basically.

His tagged skills are Science, Repair, and Explosives. ("wait, arc, why Explosives?" bc the skill applies to disarming dangerous things as much as arming them)

His perks are:

Confirmed Bachelor (+10% damage to the same sex and unique dialogue options with certain characters.)

Friend of the Night (Your eyes adapt quickly to low-light conditions)

Educated (You gain two more skill points every time you advance in level.) (this is how I explain Benji's batshit competence curve)

Ferocious Loyalty (When you drop below 50% HP, companions gain +50 DR.) (i.e. When Benji is in danger, everyone around him gets a buff.)

Pack Rat (Items with a weight of two pounds or less now weigh half as much.)

Nerd Rage (+15 DT and Strength increased to 10 whenever health is 20% or lower.)

Robotics Expert (+25% damage to robots; can shut down robots by sneaking up on them and deactivating.)

Spotter (Hostile targets are highlighted whenever the player is actively aiming.) (i.e. How Benji functions as Ethan's Perception aid.)

Well-Stacked Carins (Reaching various summits reveals nearby map markers and grants +3 Perception temporarily.)

I think that covers Benji p well.

[littlestardescendants]

Mirjami Fact 20: Mirjami actually had anger issues.

So this has to do with her trauma and upbringing but I imagine as a tween/teen Mirjami had a lot of anger issues that she had to go to therapy for. Remember she had a crazy libido and hypersexuality going on with her losing her parents so that translated into hostility or her being super irritable and it would be small things would set her off into a lashing out crying angry fit.

I imagine with therapy she learnt to cope with it but for a long time she had a nasty temper especially since she was very quiet so if someone tried to talk about her she'd throw a chair at them.

It's why she's so patient and passive with the Demons but unsurprisingly Leviathan got her back into that murderous angry fit since seeing his face on a daily makes her want to beat him with a chair >v>

[stabbedinthenameofscience]

I remember the Clinton era. I was a kid during the AIDS crisis and how queerness was treated then has shaped so much of my perception on safety, access to rights, activism, all of it, and our community was a sheltered one.

I will not go back to then and Trump would be *so much worse* than even the silence of the Reagan administration that passively let thousands of people die.

Biden is far from perfect, but this administration is trying to bring us up to some kind of baseline we have been far below and should have never had to just endure.

To crib from Dr Bettina Love, we want to do more than survive.

Trump will encourage our eradication.

We were once told that we deserved what we got, that a horrific disease with, at that time, a damn near certain fatality outcome was just the natural consequence for defying nature and God.

We were legally not allowed to have same sex sexual relationships. (Lawrence v Texas, 2003).

There was no right to privacy for us in the bedroom (as emphasized in Bowers v Hardwick, 1986? I think).

And while the president didn't call the death justified, plenty in his party did.

So.

Do we really want to be back there again, with gay and trans panic defences and hostility that embraced our deaths?

I remember when it became legal to have sex with a partner with the same genitals in the US. I was in college.

It is living memory.

Biden sucks in a lot of ways, but what this administration has tried to do and done, or pushed for even if it hasn't fully realized, is an incredible amount of movement in a short time in a country with courts intentionally stacked against us.

And that could get worse. The next president will likely pick a few more Supreme Court justices. We saw who Trump picked. These appointments last FOR LIFE. Do we want more men like Kavanaugh?

If we lose a friendly administration, this will set the legal landscape for our children and determine if they have any legal rights, not just us. All those challenges over state trans bans the federal government is involved in could be dropped real fast when the administration changes. And if the court drags its heels, they will be. This is a legal strategy that happens often.

So really really consider what we have to lose here. I get it, there are legit reasons to not like Biden. Trans issues is not one of them.

And let's be honest, I'd rather work with what we have now than watch everything we've gained since the 00s die under a hostile court appointed by someone who wants us to not exist.

The arc of history will only bend toward justice if *we* don't let it snap back. We have to keep pushing.

I’ll say it again, please just grit your teeth and vote for Biden…

[superheroismreimagined]

Kimiko: A Silent Critique of Stereotypes

One of the most unique and influential characters in The Boys is Kimiko Miyashiro, who profoundly critiques how Asian characters have traditionally been portrayed in Western media. As a mute immigrant with a traumatic past, Kimiko challenges stereotypes through her complexity, agency, and refusal to be reduced to a single narrative. Her silence speaks volumes, not as a limitation but as a subversion of audience expectations.

The Traumatic Origin Story: Beyond the Stereotype

Kimiko's backstory begins with tragedy. She and her brother are abducted as children and forced into a violent life by a militant group before being experimented on with Compound V. These events result in her transformation into a superhuman, but at the cost of her voice and innocence. At first glance, her origin might seem to fit the trope of the "tragic Asian character," a figure whose suffering defines their identity. However, The Boys quickly moves beyond this superficial framing to reveal Kimiko as a fully realized individual.

Her trauma does not strip her of agency or humanity. Instead, it fuels her determination to reclaim her identity and protect those she loves. Kimiko's resilience subverts the "submissive Asian woman" stereotype often seen in Western media, replacing passivity with active defiance. Her silence, far from being a sign of weakness, becomes a form of strength—a powerful critique of how often Asian characters are denied agency in storytelling.

Fighting Back: Redefining Strength

Kimiko's superhuman abilities make her a literal force to be reckoned with, but her strength is not limited to physical power. Her relationships with the other members of The Boys, particularly Frenchie, reveal her emotional depth and capacity for connection. This multidimensionality directly counters the "Dragon Lady" trope, which portrays Asian women as emotionless, dangerous, and inscrutable. Kimiko's rage is deeply personal, stemming from her desire for justice and freedom rather than a caricatured depiction of exotic villainy.

The show also avoids exoticizing her abilities. While her fighting skills and ferocity are central to her character, they are framed as tools for survival rather than elements of an "Asian mystique." This approach resists the fetishization often applied to Asian women in media, offering instead a character rooted in realism and nuance.

Immigration and the Struggle for Belonging

Kimiko’s story as an immigrant adds another layer to her narrative. Her experiences highlight the alienation faced by those uprooted from their homeland and thrust into hostile environments. Kimiko’s muteness becomes a metaphor for how immigrants are silenced—stripped of their voices in systems that prioritize dominance and conformity.

Despite these challenges, Kimiko carves out a space for herself in The Boys' world. Her bond with Frenchie and her gradual embrace of her team as a surrogate family underscores the importance of community and belonging. This journey resists the stereotype of the isolated, "othered" immigrant, showing instead the power of resilience and connection in overcoming alienation.

A Commentary on Representation

By portraying Kimiko as a complex, multidimensional character, The Boys critiques the shallow representation of Asian characters in Western media. Too often, these characters are reduced to stereotypes—the silent subordinate, the hypersexualized femme fatale, or the martial arts expert with no emotional depth. Kimiko embodies none of these. The showrunners deliberately choose her silence to amplify her humanity rather than diminish it.

Kimiko’s story forces viewers to confront their own biases and expectations. Why do we assume that a mute character is voiceless in every sense of the word? Why do we expect Asian characters to conform to preexisting molds rather than embrace their individuality? Through Kimiko, The Boys asks these questions and refuses to provide easy answers.

Breaking the Mold

Kimiko’s narrative is a testament to the power of thoughtful, nuanced storytelling. By rejecting stereotypes and embracing complexity, The Boys proves that representation is not about checking boxes but creating real, human, and relatable characters. Kimiko is not just an Asian character or an immigrant—she is a survivor, a fighter, and a person who refuses to be defined by her past.

Kimiko's story sets a new standard in a media landscape that is still grappling with how to portray diverse identities. Her silence is not a weakness but a weapon, a critique, and a reminder that true representation comes from authenticity and depth.

[montyjeffrey]

On September 25, Allen was called before the captain's mast, a non-judicial proceeding, to deal with his unauthorized radio message. Since Captain Bradt had the discretion to hold a closed or open proceeding, Allen requested that the mast be closed to the crew. Bradt denied his request, and over two hundred sailors crowded into the area to gawk and snicker at the subject of all those queer rumors on the Wood. In a jaunty act of non-verbal defiance, Allen wore one of his favorite earrings. Still, it is hard to imagine that the pressure of public exposure would not have hurt him deeply. He made no open admission of his homosexuality at the hearing. Yet Esquire's Chip Brown discovered that something in the proceedings prompted Allen to cover the microphone in front of him with his hand, and say to the captain in a hushed voice, "You know what I am." Taken in the context of his admission of homosexuality to Captain Bradt only the day before, this was not simply an offhanded or self-mocking little comment. Bradt did know "what" his radioman was, definitively, and still exposed him to public humiliation before the mast without due consideration for his sailor's welfare. For his peccadillo, Allen was punished by a reduction in rank from RM1 to RM3, and sentenced to a thirty-day restriction aboard ship.

Opening the captain's mast to the crew intensified Allen's vulnerability to an already hostile segment of the ship's company. If Captain Bradt in fact turned a deaf ear to Allen's complaints of maltreatment, he passively condoned the cruelty to which his sailors were subjecting his radioman. Once public discharge proceedings had begun for Schindler, Captain Bradt's duty of rank was to protect a vulnerable member of his crew from (perhaps lethal) violence and harm. Instead, the evidence suggests Bradt may have dishonorably abdicated his duty. With tacit Pentagon approval, Captain Bradt may have written Schindler off as a threat to the sexual equilibrium of his ship, and then feigned impotence to do anything about the "consequences" of Schindler's candor.

— Stephen V. Sprinkle, Unfinished Lives: Reviving the Memories of LGBTQ Hate Crimes Victims.

Photos: 1) Captain Douglas J. Bradt, commanding officer of the amphibious assault ship USS Belleau Wood (LHA-3), January 1, 1993. 2) Captain Douglas J. Bradt (left) and Rear Admiral William Retz (right) on the USS Belleau Wood off Hawaii, September 14, 1992.

[reedreadsgreek]

1 Corinthians 1:22–25

22 ἐπειδὴ καὶ Ἰουδαῖοι σημεῖα αἰτοῦσιν καὶ Ἕλληνες σοφίαν ζητοῦσιν, 23 ἡμεῖς δὲ κηρύσσομεν Χριστὸν ἐσταυρωμένον, Ἰουδαίοις μὲν σκάνδαλον, ἔθνεσιν δὲ μωρίαν, 24 αὐτοῖς δὲ τοῖς κλητοῖς, Ἰουδαίοις τε καὶ Ἕλλησιν, Χριστὸν θεοῦ δύναμιν καὶ θεοῦ σοφίαν· 25 ὅτι τὸ μωρὸν τοῦ θεοῦ σοφώτερον τῶν ἀνθρώπων ἐστὶν καὶ τὸ ἀσθενὲς τοῦ θεοῦ ἰσχυρότερον τῶν ἀνθρώπων. 

My translation: 

22 and since Judeans request signs and Greeks seek wisdom, 23 but as for us we proclaim the Anointed having been crucified, on the one hand a snare for Judeans, and on the other hand foolishness for the nations, 24 but for them, the called, both Judean and Greek, the Anointed, the power of God and wisdom of God; 25 for that which is foolish of God is wiser than men and that which is weak of God is stronger than men. 

Notes:

1:22 

ἐπειδὴ (“since”; see note on v. 21) cannot have the same strong causal force as it did in verse 21, as the Jews’ request for a sign is not strictly the cause of Paul’s proclamation of Christ crucified (v. 23). Thus ἐπειδὴ may here have the meaning, “while” (BDAG). In this case, this verse forms the protasis of the contrast, while verse 23 comprises the apodosis. Most translations, however, take ἐπειδὴ as “for”, creating a loose explanatory connection with verse 21. 

The καὶ ... καὶ construction does not here mean “both ... and”, but perhaps “indeed ... and” (so NASB). Most translations leave the first καὶ untranslated.  

The substantival Ἰουδαῖοι is the subject of the present αἰτοῦσιν (from αἰτέω) and σημεῖα is the direct object.

Ἕλληνες (“Greeks”) is the subject of the present ζητοῦσιν (from ζητέω) and σοφίαν is the direct object. ‘By the absence of the article the terms connote characteristic attributes rather than denote the individuals’ (ICC). 

1:23 

δὲ (untranslated) introduces the apodosis of the construction began by ἐπειδὴ in verse 22. But if ἐπειδὴ was left untranslated, then δὲ is translated adversatively (“but”). 

ἡμεῖς is the emphatic subject of the present κηρύσσομεν (from κηρύσσω). Χριστὸν is the direct object of the verb. The perfect passive participle ἐσταυρωμένον (from σταυρόω) could be attributive with Χριστὸν (“we preach a crucified Christ”; sim. NET) or predicate (“we preach Christ, and him crucified”; most translations: “... Christ crucified”). 

The μὲν ...  δὲ construction contrasts the two (wrong) ways that Jews vs. Greeks perceive the message of Christ crucified. Fee notes that these two encompass the main idolatrous impulses of mankind. 

Ἰουδαίοις is an ethical dative (Gardner: dative of reference). 

τό σκάνδαλον (15x) originally referred to a “snare” or “trap” used in hunting. In the NT it refers figuratively to something that ‘causes offense or revulsion and results in opposition, disapproval, or hostility’ (BDAG; cf. σκανδαλίζω “I ensnare, cause to stumble”; English scandal); most translations: “stumbling block”. The translation “offense” is too mild. The accusative σκάνδαλον is appositional, matching the accusative Χριστὸν above: “we preach Christ ... a stumbling block”). Alternatively, σκάνδαλον could be taken as the predicate accusative of an implied participle ὄντα (“Christ ... being a stumbling block”; Leedy). 

For the construction ἔθνεσιν with μωρίαν (“foolishness”; see note on v. 18), see above. ἔθνος is probably here the functional equivalent of Ἕλλην and no distinction is intended by Paul. 

1:24 

δὲ is adversative (“but”). 

The pronoun αὐτοῖς is an ethical dative (Gardner: dative of reference); the articular adjective τοῖς κλητοῖς (“called”; see note on v. 1) is appositional (lit. “to them, the called”); cf. τοῖς σῳζομένοις ἡμῖν in verse 18. Alternatively, CGT takes αὐτοῖς as an intensive pronoun (“to the called themselves”). Most translations: “to those who are called”. 

The τε καὶ construction is, “both ... and” (τε is postpositive). Ἰουδαίοις and Ἕλλησιν are appositional to τοῖς κλητοῖς. 

The grammar in the following clause is awkward but the sense is clear enough. The accusative Χριστὸν is redundant after the Χριστὸν of verse 23; ICC says ‘this implies the repetition of ἐσταυρωμένον’, but this is not made explicit in any major translation. Leedy diagrams Χριστὸν here as a predicate accusative of an implied participle ὄντα modifying the Χριστὸν of verse 23. In apposition to Χριστὸν stand the nouns δύναμιν and σοφίαν, each modified by genitive of source θεοῦ. NASB: “23 but we preach Christ crucified, to Jews a stumbling block and to Gentiles foolishness, 24 but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God” (sim. NRSV, NIV). NET wisely supplies the verb “is”: “... Christ is the power of God ...” (sim. HCSB). 

1:25 

ὅτι is causal (“for, because”). Alternatively, ὅτι could be taken to introduce discourse, giving further content of κηρύσσομεν (v. 23). 

μωρός (12x, 4 of which in 1 Corinthians) is “foolish”, from ἡ μωρία (5x) is “foolishness” (cf. v. 18, 21, 23). The articular adjective τὸ μωρὸν is substantival and literally means, “the foolish thing” or “that which is foolish”. NIGTC notes that τὸ μωρὸν could refer specifically to the message of Christ crucified, although most translations simply take it as equivalent to ἡ μωρία and translate, “the foolishness”. τὸ μωρὸν is the subject of the present ἐστὶν (from εἰμί) and the comparative adjective σοφώτερον (from σοφός “wise”; see note on v. 19) is predicate. The genitive τοῦ θεοῦ with τὸ μωρὸν is possessive. τῶν ἀνθρώπων is a genitive of comparison after the comparative adjective (“wiser than men”); generally, “wisdom” is supplied (“wiser than human wisdom”, most translations). NLT: “This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans”. 

For the structure of τὸ ἀσθενὲς τοῦ θεοῦ ἰσχυρότερον τῶν ἀνθρώπων, see above; the only structural difference is that here ἐστὶν is implied. ἀσθενὲς is “weak”. ἰσχυρότερον is the comparative form of ἰσχυρός “strong”. The Message: “Human strength can’t begin to compete with God’s ‘weakness.’”

[chargetheintruder]

THIS. Agreed so much. So many people think this is about "going back to business as usual." And no. Never mind how corrupt and self-damaging "business as usual" was, the simple truth of it is, we can't go back now. The idiot, pro-tyrant 28 percent of the population have been preparing to unleash Hell on Earth--a Nationalist America that kills in response to EVERYTHING--since Reagan opened the door a crack, a hair's width, in 1981 with his "city on a hill" speech, and his references to Brasil and its rampant inequality and lack of organized labor rights. Everything the alt-right says and does has DECADES of momentum behind it, up to and including the cheerleading of hostile foreign nationals pretending to be the CEOs of our companies--if it isn't Rupert Murdoch with FOX, it's Elon Musk at Tesla and Twitter.

It's a plan. It's BEEN a plan. Whole entire chunks of our culture have been poisoned by how fucking flagrant the plan is--as per Alan Moore's pandering endlessly to the Guy Fawkes fan club with is "V for Vendetta" tripe. Among other things.

My point is: we need to vote and protest and arm ourselves and PREPARE FOR the collapse of society. Nothing more, nothing less. Yes, I've had health issues and lots of things on my mind keeping me from being organized online. But I need to get on this too. Apparently I need to be the SPINAL COLUMN of Tumblr just to show that decent people NEED A SPINE lately, even if they have to borrow one until theirs gets its feeling back. People apparently need to borrow a spine until theirs is liberated from years to decades of ingrained passive-aggression, internet-induced apathy, and Gandhi-inspired do-nothing-ism.

I don't necessarily like the idea of being responsible for other people like that? But damn it, we don't have forever to act. This shit's been going according to plan--for THEM, not US--for decades. That is THEIR headstart on dismantling OUR civil society.

Repeating it just so you get it: we need to anticipate nothing less than the intentional demolition and collapse of SOCIETY. We need to prepare for the collapse of SOCIETY: we need to vote and protest and arm ourselves and PREPARE FOR the END. OF. SOCIETY. This isn't an extinction-level event, but this is how such things start. They start when "good people" allow their society to decline into despotism, slouch into anarchy, and slide right out of the easy chair into ruin.

Not that we should panic, but this is serious. There won't BE future generations to count on if we DON'T get it right.

[resmarted]

I do feel like my empathy levels are at like a bizarrely high level that should probably be utilized in some professional atmosphere and i do miss reading for people but idk if it's my Calling as much as it is something I just happen to be able to do. I worry that the community of professional spiritualists is such a weirdly hostile environment where everyone is always ready to try and take you down instead of just like being a normal person and going home to a bath and a cat and calling it a day. like no one can ever just be normal. about anything. it's like that whether I'm dissecting someone's soul or scooping ice cream but there's a very specific level of school shooter rage readers will passively get toward each other that I do not vibe with. a disgruntled waitress who hates her life is one thing but someone that wants to sacrifice you to their god of choice over getting good feedback is quite another. granted, as the daughter of satan i'm not the one who needs to be worried, but it's the intention of it all. ultimately I feel I help people on some level even if it's just asking about their lives and what their plans are while they're in town. I go back and forth on whether or not I robbed myself of the experience as a reader prematurely due to the animosity but ultimately feel like the owners robbed themselves allowing it to get as bad as it did. oh and there's the whole thing of my evil mother ruining my life and never wanting to talk about it to anyone or acknowledge that part of my life ever again. but then it's like great now she's suddenly robbing me even more as if she hasn't already taken enough as it is. so idk dudes. v conflicting. think I'll stick to pretending to be normal (very badly) for a while longer.