#FET online

[hehkshew]

[Take Five] (H/azbin H/otel) A/ngel D/ust and A/lastor [800 Words]

Alastor and Angel were in the living room of the Hotel’s lobby, setting up what was planned to be a smooth and professional recording session. The Radio Demon adjusting his attire. A red coat what was immaculate, long and draped down to his ankles. Every button polished in a way that would shine as it hit the light just right.

A proud grin displayed across his face, filled with motive as he smiled wide and unwavering. He looked perfect for film.

And Angel… Didn’t, where he on the other hand was lounging on one of the lobby chairs. Both legs lankily hung over the side, far too long for where he was currently alay. His outfit wasn’t one that could exactly match Alastor’s.

Whilst Alastor was proper and looking charming for video, Angel Dust was wearing a long fur-lined robe, fluffy and draping over his shoulders. He had a mischievous glint in his eye as he scrolled across his phone. Biting his lip as he glanced up and down.

“Damn, ya’ lookin fine smiles.”

“Come on, Angel, focus!” His voice crackled, a slight distortional sound echoing from it as he sighed. Adjusting the camera, adjusting it so he could capture the perfect shot. “I can’t believe Charlie’s making us film a silly picture telegram.”

Angel rolled his eyes dramatically, pushing himself up as he untied his dressing gown. Underneath was an actual outfit, not one that Alastor would particularly prefer for a shooting like this, but it was passable. “Al, babe, ya’ gotta relax, yeah? We can’t all be ass stiff as your tight radio ass.”

Alastors eye twitching in annoyance, stating blankly, “I prefer to think of myself as being professional here, darling.” Sarcasm in his tone at the pet name. “I don’t even know if the blasted thing is set up right.”

“Alright, sure. I’ll look over it for you.” He purred, pink robe now fully discarded on the floor as Alastor bit back an eyeroll of his own at the discarded gown.

“Yeah, yeah. I think ya’ got it set up pretty damn well here. I’m not seeing any issues with it.” Eyes focused on the screen as he checked the camera settings. Alastor feeling a pang of pride from figuring out the troubling task.

“Okay, so just gotta say some stupid shit about the Hotel?” He frowned, Alastor nodding. “That’s boring, usually viewers love tuning in for stuff more exciting… More revealing.” He grinned, moving his hand to the strap of his shirt.

Alastor sighing with a crackle of static as he slapped at Angel’s hand, Angel giving a short bark of a laugh. “Yes, yes. You’re very charming. But let’s try to keep this one somewhat professional this time?” Snapping his fingers with a manifestation of stage lights. “Alright, I’m turning the lights on now.”

Angels eyes widening as he suddenly tensed, “Wait, hold on, Al—”

But it was too late, Alastor flipping the switch as the studio lights blazed to light, flooding the room immediately with an intense bright glow.

Angel blinking rapidly, expression shifting from surprise to something more dazed. Nose scrunching with a sharp tingling feel as he murmured,

“Wait- Hh.. Al– I- Hhih’!” Angel managed to barely squeak as he gasped.

“Hh…Eh…ih’Tshhiew!”

Sudden and echoing throughout the room as angel gasped, tilting his head back with eyes watering. Stumbling a little as he inhaled sharply with a hitch

“Hh’ihTSSHhiew!”

Alastor’s eyes widening in surprise as he watched Angel stumble breathlessly, “Oh dear.”

“Hh..Eh… HeHhkshiew!”

“Bless you–”

“Hhehkshew!” He sneezed harshly, a wince as he rubbed a gloved hand over the back of his nose harshly, attempting to relieve the itchy sensation. Breath shuddering a little with a sigh as it seemed to cease for the moment, still sniffling anyway.

Alastor blinking in surprise as he raised an eyebrow, tone mused. “Well that was certainly unexpected, are you alright?” Having some sense to turn down the lights, now a low glow. Nowhere near as harsh as a second ago.

As Angel recovered from the loss of breath he shakily sniffled as he wiped his nose a little. Eyes watery as he breathed, a sharp sniff as he huffed in annoyance despite the slight smile evident on his face.

“Y-You could have warned me,” He sniffed, nose scrunching as he rubbed at his nose again with his palm. “Sweet Lucifer that came on fast.”

“Now where would the fun be in that?” Alastor with a teasing grin gracing his expression. Humming in thought. “Though that certainly wasn’t intentional, I promise you.”

“You’re a jerk.” Angel huffed, even though he seemed amused from the embarrassing incident, Alastor pulling out a red handkerchief and hanging it to him who took it with a nod.

“Ugh, you’re impossible. I’m taking five, and keeping this.” Holding up the cloth with a small wave in the air to show him as he brought it to his nose once more, inhaling sharply.

“Hh.. Hh–HehKshh!”

Glint of amusement in his eyes as the other left. Even if they’d got no filming done, maybe a break was deserved. 

[piplupod]

good god I cannot do this fjdksl this is so much pressure. just received a text from this girl at the centre expressing how she's so glad I'm her friend bc she's never rly had any true friends before, and thats very very nice of her to say but also i cannot fucking do this fjdksl this is so much pressure and every time I'm around her I feel like I'm babysitting which isn't her fault! she is simply not a good match for me in terms of social skills and personality! but i feel like im going to fucking kms bc this is so much pressure and I cannot continue to try to support her mental health and be like. her only source of friendship. while barely being able to keep myself afloat 🧍

[nykloss]

Living in a small Midwestern town growing up can really expand your horizons of REAL queer people. The very first trans person I knew irl was the most offline person I ever met and was part of a "crew" of hicks, some of whom were very conservative leaning but still had his back. The first relationship I knew of that I would think to describe as queerplatonic (or somewhat adjacent) was between a girl who is now a hardcore rural southern belle rancher lady (who has never had a boyfriend that I can recall and is not seeking) and her car-lovin' redneck dude bff (who recently came out as gay) and they are all but "in a relationship," going on dates together and spending Christmas, valentine's, etc with each other's families for the past 8-9 years.

[trying2cope]

It took me a year to find him.

I searched different internet BDSM sites. After my horrible failed vanilla marriage I'd sought therapy and realized that the inner sub I'd repressed had never gone away. I had put up with my now ex husband's crappy behavior because I was unconsciously submitting to him, but it got worse and worse and more toxic and abusive. So I felt if I was going to have a healthy marriage in the future I would have to be the sub I know I am.

Hunting online for my future Master husband kept me sane as I tried to live my new life as a single mom with two traumatized culture shocked kids. The divorce had involved an international move.

I found him in January. He was one of many Doms who answered my personal on a "Let's Get Married and Breed" sub forum. I know, romantic. But I liked that it specified the marriage first part, so it wasn't just for the kinksters who like anonymous breeding. That's not me at all. I'm deeply monogamous.

I only had two sexual partners prior. Sexual partners meaning their male member had entered one of my holes. The first was my Master when I was 18-19. He had my mouth and ass. But I told him I was saving my v for marriage and he respected that. Truthfully I only went that far with him because I intended to marry him. When we broke up I was devastated-- even though I was the one who had done it. I had started having feelings for someone else, too, and it confused the hell out of me. I spiraled, mental health wise, into reckless and destructive behavior. Thankfully my "temporary insanity" only lasted a few months, but it was enough.

I was growing in my faith and when I got my sanity back decided that all sex was sex and no loopholes. I'd save it all for marriage again. And I did. I found my now ex husband on a Christian dating site instead of a bdsm one. I'd hoped he'd be a little kinky but he wasn't. Our sex life was never very satisfying. I want sex multiple times a day. He was content with once or twice a month. I have never really been sexually satisfied.

So when my marriage ended in his cheating and dishonesty and mental abuse, I decided a few things. My next man would be a Dom. I needed a man with high libido. He needed to be safe around my kids of course. I wanted a man who wanted more children. And I wasn't going to wait for marriage this time.

I felt a little bad about that. I love God and I don't want to sin. But I also knew the kind of man I want, with the libido I want, wouldn't be celibate.

When my eldest kid realized I was thinking about dating she made me promise her whoever I dated would "love Jesus, kids, and cats".

And when I met him, he checked all the boxes.

We talked online for 6 weeks and then he suggested we meet in person. We did and it was amazing. I could not resist him. I melted in his presence. It was magical, like he held the key to me and every other man, even my ex husband, had only ever picked the lock.

I asked him to be my Master and my boyfriend and he agreed fervently as we made out. I let him into my body that night and quickly we fell madly in love with each other. "You're so sweet to me," he kept saying when I'd just be myself. It made me happy but also sad he'd ever been treated shitty.

He was a single parent too, he has a toddler daughter. He came to me, when she was with her mom, so while he met my kids I hadn't yet gotten to meet her.

And that's where I'll end this post for now.

[radioconstructed]

⌖ As I was falling asleep last night, my BRAIN posed the most INCOMPREHENSIBLE question: WHAT IF HELLKEA IS JUST FETISH BAIT?

⌖ I don't know what this MEANS! Was I contemplating the MAZE-LIKE STRUCTURE of the store? The peaceful atmosphere? The cheap self-assembled melamine? The FAKE SWEDISH MEATBALLS? WHO KNOWS! SOMETHING here was designed to appeal to SOMEONE'S FETISH! I KNOW IT!

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

I love you daughters.

But sometimes, C Lee brat.

[lilliaace]

I have zero idea how old you are, so I'm going to try to make this as easy to understand as possible.

Keep in mind, I'm 30, been involved heavily in the BDSM community since 2012, and am a health educator, kink educator, and fetish educator. WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY (and having worked in healthcare for damn near 10 years), let's get into it.

There are SAFE ways to explore potentially rough or 'dangerous' quirks, kinks, fetishes, and/or BDSM related curiosities that DO NOT involve fantasizing and/or romantcizing serious harm to people.

Case in point, the porn community has RUINED and destroyed the fact that there's an actual difference between "CNC" (consensual non consent"), "free use", and "rough sex". Let's educate EVERYONE here so there's no "but what about"-isms.

Free use: Consensually telling your partner "you can have sex with me any time outside of barrier/parameters pre-established (like can only occur inside the home), but the scene can stop at any time if I drop a safe word (like "pineapple" for lack of better phrasing, thanks Tiktok).

Rough sex: Roughly engaging in sexual acts with partner, often involving teeth, scratches, some kind of impact play device (like a paddle or whip), possible electrical play (like a tens unit or violet wand), possible fire play (with proper safety involved to not leave serious burns), possible ice play (again, proper safety to not leave permanent damage), etc. THERE IS A STRONG EMPHASIS ON SAFETY AND CONSENT to keep everyone as safe as possible. Some communities refer to this as "edge play" as in "you're walking the knife's edge with safety". But some people interpret "edge play" as "orgasm denial and control", so read the context when you come across this type of play. Safe words can still be dropped to end a scene.

CNC (consensual non consent): Formally known as biastophilia, it is the fetish or kink (strong orgasm desire) to sexually harm a cause serious injury to a partner. It can be as 'light' as SEVERE verbal degradation (not going to put explicit examples here, think of a verbal abuser from a partner that involves dehumanizing) or as severe as rape/sexual assault (forcing your organ in them), broken bones, etc. When it come to the porn scene, a lot of CNC scenes are DIFFICULT to shoot (attempt rape, gang rape, rough shoving between sexual partners, severe sensory overload OR deprivation, attempt kidnapping, blow jobs to the point of vomiting, potential no lube anal sex, organs prolaping on the penis due to trauma, etc.). There is a reason why even PROFESSIONAL ACTORS in the adult industry (XXX) have serious trouble shooting a lot of these scenes and require SIGNIFICANT aftercare. MANY tap out, again due to the psychological natural consequences that happen during these scenes.

Once you are legally of age (again, I'm making this post for a safety perspective for ALL blog viewers here), you can SAFELY and LEGALLY navigate BDSM circles to learn HOW to manage all three above (Fet...e, local workshops, local munches, reading books about how to do these things safely, watching interviews online with real performers and sex workers of all kinds, safely navigate XXX spaces online, etc.).

If you are legally a minor (17 and younger for most areas, it's when a court no longer deems you a dependent on your parent/guardian figure, NOT age of consent), STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THESE SPACES UNTIL YOU ARE OF LEGAL AGE! It is fine to have curiosities, fantasies, kinks, fetishes, etc. develop during your pre-teen and teen years because your hormones are going crazy. IT IS NOT OKAY to force yourself into these adult spaces.

Child predators(creeps) exist, point blank. Adults who want to do horrible things to pre-teens and teens exist, point blank. We want to keep minors out of these spaces TO KEEP Y'ALL SAFE. Stop pretending that "you're the exception" to grooming or anything like this. YOU ARE NOT. Child predation is an EPIDEMIC online for a reason.

DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF into BDSM spaces, kink spaces, and/or fetish spaces online. IT IS FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY!

For the love of fuck, drop the radqueer bullshit that's just straight up albeist nonsense and a slap in the face to those who suffer from these real life horrific things that often lead to severe cptsd, ptsd, potential victims of child trafficking, victims of child creeps/predators, etc.

People have sadism thoughts. People have masochistic thoughts. It's about HOW YOU LEARN to SAFELY navigate these waters with a CONSENTING partner when BOTH of you are legal adults. This is why BDSM safety workshops and spaces online exist.

[theangryman]

kink as religion/spirituality

it’s a little gauche to say something is “like a cult” - it’s overused as an expression

but a large problem i have with kink/bdsm subculture is the commonalities with religion, the spiritual aspects

when you think of precedents for “consensual” ritualized harm and self harm, they are religious (several groups have traditions of undergoing full on crucifixions for Easter, there’s similar rites for some Shia Muslims for Ashura - which is today I believe)

the desire for progression as some sort of internal challenge - there’s always a desire and encouragement to expand one’s limits

it’s driven by the same desire for a transcendent experience

the communities’ members have strange persecution complexes, gaslighting victims of abuse, especially when by higher ranking members

the focus on hierarchy (leather culture had formalized rules - serve in a house, train as submissive - tortured gay men wanting to punish themselves - maybe can read a form a Catholicism into this; modern kink culture is like modern Protestantism in that any sufficiently well groomed upper middle class man can claim to have the unique skills to be a good pastor/“dom” and open up a church/dungeon)

the repulsion towards former members/critiques of systemic issues present (expression anti kink opinions has gotten me the same kind of hateful response from other trans men that being a trans man did in the 2010s online - to the point where gendering people correctly appears to be optional for folks who are anti kink? the double whammy of being accused of being a TERF and than insulted with “girl” is always a fucking whiplash - can you not use the term “TERF” to mean “anyone i don’t like,” y’all look like fucking morons)

maybe many of these things can be applied to things like multi level marketing or any other extremely large organizational idea that people subsume their identity into, but the aspect of seeking “ecstasy” adds a hellish intensity to the mix

and like losing one’s religion, it’s difficult to leave. it’s difficult to part with the thought parties the beliefs. it’s difficult to justify to outsiders. (i agreed to let him do X but he did Y - the specifics don’t matter but it’s going to happen to you)

it creates mind bending cognitive dissonance - only puritanical criticisms of kink can be addressed. no matter what critique of kink you make, the response is

men are submissive too! (go actually look at femdom porn/hentai lol and see what they want or make a troll fet dom-F account if you don’t believe me + most submissive men are trans men with self esteem issues - the type who have boyfriends that refer to them as their girlfriend to their family; the religious analog would be something about complementary gender roles perhaps)

it’s all about consent! (what do we say about consent in power dynamics? now this is a subtle point, which is made impossible to address because it is such a fundamental threat to heterosexuality itself, that Dworkin tried to make and was glossed into “all sex is rape” because it is such a threat - what do we say to the idea of consent when we are fundamentally unequal human beings by nature of assigned sex of birth? who makes more money? who can overpower? i think most have gotten the picture that what Thomas Jefferson did to Sally Hemings was unambiguously rape, but what about all of the women throughout history when marital rape was considered the norm? it requires acknowledging that your great grandpa probably raped your great grandma, or up and down that line for thousands of generations - maybe if you acknowledge up front that gooners are going to want you to agree to humiliating and disgusting sex acts up front - that agreeing to have mutual fun with a stranger means rolling the dice on physical assault - maybe if you agree up front and pretend you can set some kinds of rules it’ll work out; similarly, religion is the comfort that life isn’t pointless suffering and maybe we’ll get to see our dog and grandma again if you follow these rules)

you can’t project your trauma onto the community/bad people aren’t doing really kink (i have a fairly large sampling size of kink partners and experiences personally. i genuinely don’t believe my arguments can be dialed down to “i had personal trauma in kink thus all kink is bad” unless one is taking my words at bad faith. this very much reeks of accusing atheists of hating god because of trauma or not getting what they want.)

you don’t actually believe that/you’re lying/you want it (these are obvious comparisons to religion)

these feel like the same kinds of responses i see to ex Mormons/Jehovah’s Witnesses/etc online

modern kink is similar to modern Protestantism in that it facilitates the creation of micro cults. institutionalization of kink is structured such that critique can be deflected onto individual actors. i’d argue Reddit is a major source of kink “education” - and no one can deny that subreddits can have concerning moderators. You have Fetlife, which is primarily heterosexual, male dom/female sub pornography. You have a couple of Booktok tier pop psych books which encourage Bronze Age marriage models. This maps to the diffuse ways in which American Protestantism propagates its ideas - it’s a nebulous mess of ideas that can evaporate when asked to take responsibility. We can’t hold all Christians accountable for Mark Driscoll’s ideas; we can’t hold all kinksters responsible for the actions of [insert the creeps who message you if you take up my suggestion of a troll fetlife account]. But can we not ask what it says about American Protestantism that Mark Driscoll exists and says what he says? And can we not look askew when what he said could be happily echoed by a kinkster as long as it was prefixed with “it’s kinky and consensual btw <3” and had been posted on fetlife anonymously - instead of his own church forum?

Kink is reactionary ideology which has parasitized societal acceptance of queer folks to justify the abusive dynamics of heterosexual relationships and sex, which has replaced religion as the justification for that dynamic.

[clovesnz]

Little ramble navel-gazing about the kink heh ~

cw for describing past feelings of shame and the internet being a shithole

Do y’all ever wonder like, how many people are out there who have a snz kink/fet but have never found the online communities? Like statistically how many people do we think are adults and have it but just have never looked for anything about it online? I mean if u are somewhere without internet access or somewhere where those communities are inaccessible that would be an obvious reason not to, but I’m super curious if there are people who could but have just suppressed it or never thought to look.

Cause like, I’ve noticed I was kind of a late bloomer in terms of when I found some of these spaces. I was too scared to type the words “sneeze fetish” into google until I was 17 or 18. Before then my only exposure to people who liked snz was the comments on snz content creators’ YouTube videos, which…didn’t give me the best overall impression about others with the kink. I think it added a lot to my shame, honestly, having that be my only conception of people “like me.” Like it was pretty much just that, and that awful p/ewdiepie video (blah 😵‍💫). Those were my only two frames of reference for how others responded to this interest. Not fun.

It was actually that T/ry G/uys podcast episode I’ve mentioned before that made me finally do it. They had a viewer write in talking about their sneezing kink in a very “so here’s something funny” sort of way, and they were all super cool and normal and sweet about it. And so only then did I search something like “I’m ashamed of my sneezing fetish” into an incognito tab, and that ended up leading me to the forum, and then a year or so later the forum led me to snzblr. But I sometimes wonder, like, if I hadn’t seen that podcast episode, how much longer would it have taken me? Would I still be mostly in the dark about it?

Anyhow, even though I sometimes go through slumps of not posting or interacting much, I’m still incredibly grateful to have found this place and all its debauchery, it’s been so integral in my learning self acceptance and understanding my sexuality and honestly when I was younger I don’t think I ever dreamed to find this level of community around something that I, at the time, felt so alone in.

[audio-luddite]

I was talking with a guy.

Hey if I am mentioning it here it was about audio.

The question was how to get started in serious audio (lets not call it audiophile yet). It is a remarkably simple and yet complex question. Spend lots of money?

So to start, the front end is the tricky bit. That is source and control. Source is what you are listening too. Control is selection of source, if you have more than one, and basic volume control. In most systems control is the preamplifier.

The back end is the speakers and power amplifier. Actually really simple. What fits in your home and how much can you afford. Easy to change if you want.

The first big issue is source. By that I mean hard copied media or virtual. The first is category is CDs and their ilk such as SACD etc, and of course Vinyl LPs. The second is streaming online.

The second one first. (interesting sentence that but perfectly correct)

Streaming is far from simple. It has the least initial cost for the media as it is just a subscription fee (forever). It has an enormous even overwhelming variety and quantity of content. It also is only permission to use the content, but you do not own it. You can have a huge "collection" but it is virtual. Also there is a controversy about payments to artists.

Often not said is that almost all the streaming services are at or below CD quality. CD quality is not considered truly great by the tribes. That is all I am going to say about that right now.

The hardware is not simple for high end streaming. In very general terms you need a DAC (Digital to Analog Converter), a box to buffer or hold the downloaded files, and a computer to do the downloads and host the streaming service software. That is three boxes. In high end they are all expensive of course.

There are devices that do all three things, but they are not cheap. They also do not have the quality of the "best" systems.

Audiophiles like dedicated computers and streaming servers and DACs of eye watering expense.

In summary the streaming front end is very expensive. In my looking about for adding that to my system it is thousands of dollars. Conservatively about $5000 for my quality goal. Emphasis on that is only the front end.

Now to my thesis.

I say the least cost path to high end sound is with vinyl. WTF?! A high end capable Turntable starts at hundreds of dollars. Much more can be spent, but in today's local classified ads there are dozens under $500 and a few very good ones up to $1000. An older model refurbished unit is perfectly fine for the job. And I mean high end sound extraction. Brands such as Technics, Rega, Thorens, Micro Seki, Kenwood, Pioneer are good candidates.

A high end phonograph pickup or cartridge can be had for under $500 bucks. I have three all around $400 ish or less. I like Grado, and Audio Technica. There are more, but I don't have any of those. Moving coils need not apply. Those are euphonic, which is they add seductive sounds that are not in the source material.

That is the whole vinyl source hardware list. Under $1400 bucks or less and you are up and running. The only caveat is your control preamp needs to have a phono input which most old ones do.

In my case have a high end hybrid tube FET preamp that can be had for $2000 or less depending on the phase of the moon. You need that anyway. My opinion is the preamp is the major contributor to the overall performance of your system.

So that brings the full front end to less than $3400 for a high end system. If you take into account all my extra phono cartridges I still spent less than that. Just.

There is an intriguing option in a high end integrated amplifier from Technics (SU-G700) that is a preamp and DAC and very good class D amplifier with a phono input for about $2400 USD. Just add speakers and turntable and you are over the threshold to high end. It is rather spooky. If I had to start from scratch I would be tempted. Far less than an ARC suite. I could no longer claim I was a Luddite though.

Yes with vinyl you still have to buy LPs, unless you are an old fart like me and have hundreds, but it is actually rather fun. Compared to the initial cost of a high end streaming system the cost of an extensive LP library looks reasonable. I search for high quality boutique stuff usually, but I also find stuff in the racks. Garage sales anyone?

I have high end sound in my home. I dare say it is the best sounding system I have every heard. Vinyl is not a compromise. There is a lot to be said for getting up to flip a record every 20 minutes. Hell I have a watch that nags me to get up and move if I stay seated for more than an hour. (yes I am a geek) It's good for you Mr couch potato.

Obviously to play at this game money will be spent. You can start off modestly and build over time (decades in my case) or jump in. In the end you will have a sonic place to spend time appreciating art at the highest level.

Interesting that I really cannot afford to add high end streaming to my system. I don't need to.

[sex-obsessed-lesbian]

Any advice on getting into the hypnokink community, both IRL and online? I'm already very familiar with ROM and EMCSA, but there's a big difference between reading things and getting to interact with people about things.

Ooo a good question! Existing/interacting on Tumblr and Twitter are good starts. Getting into some of the hypnokink Discord servers is a bit more direct route to interacting with other humans—I'm not super active in this world tho, so if any followers have Discord server suggestions, drop em here! I just know about the big ol' Erotic Hypnosis server.

Going to events is GREAT. If you tell me/us (the hypno-Tumblr hivemind) vaguely where you live, we may be able to rec events in your area, or give it a google/search on Fet. There are a number of cons which are fuckin' delightful—Charmed is coming up in Jan in Baltimore, Beguiled is online-only this summer but generally in person outside Chicago, NEEHU in the spring in New England... so search around for those. (A number of the big cons also have some online programming, which isn't the full experience but will still get you in the scene and meeting folks and learning stuff.)

Good luck, anon, we'll see you around! 👋🏻

[conjuremanj]

License In Voodoo/ Vodou.

Okay First, What you see online and in books, isn’t the full religion. You can't really practice this fully in your own, nor can you be “self taught”. There’s no amount of reading that’ll will make you a priest.

Other cultures and traditions where self learning and self initiations is okay, Great ; if that is where you are called to do, be proud of that… but it's not in Vodou.

The initiation and the that's built around it the individual is given license to know and license to practice.

LICENSE. That’s a single word that you’ll want to pay close attention to; a license is given to provide and prove permission to act in the way the license allows… is a principle in African Diasporic Religions.

You can begin to study, learn the basics, and get some spiritual movement happening in your life… but Vodou is a community religion;. It’s a faith that is practiced and celebrated by groups of people together…. Think of it like this. " You don’t have to be a priest to say the rosary, but if you want to lead or participate in a mass, you’re going to need more than just yourself".

Vodou as it is practiced in Haiti or even in New Orleans where I'm from we have a House, a family structure were initiates can come together as a unit to perform religious services we call fets. There's also community celebrations some fets also where we all come together.

The House is the basic religious unit of the Vodou clergy, the organized group of initiate family that provides rituals for the community’s benefit and for lay members of the religion to avail themselves of the religion’s service, much like the priests of the local Church provide a space and time for lay worshippers to enjoy Mass.

A house is a place to begin training in the religion and the process that builds understanding of the individual’s relationship to their own spirits… like changing religions you fine one your interested in you contact that church of they except you and think your serious you start training in prayer, servicer, certain ceremonies that might have reading material end the end you becomes a part of there church and if your call to do more you can become someone higher like a priest.

But it also involved a commitment to this faith this is import. The people who touch your head literally take on the responsibility of being your mother or your father (the core of why we say a House is a “Vodou family”; They prepare you and teach you. The initiates of the individual who help running the temple will literally be your brothers and sisters.

As a non-initiate, you have the luxury checking out a houses, attending fets and interact with the spirits, interact with the house members, , and learn, how, where, when.amd why.

Give it some time. If you want to stay a non initiate that good to we still welcome you you can still learns thing from the community.

[staceymcgillicuddy]

WIP Wednesday

Okay, so here’s my foray into @hellcheeranniversaryweek and their wonderful WIP Wednesdays. I’m not comfortable posting snippets of any of these yet, as they haven’t gone through my intensive (read: obsessive and ridiculous) editing process, but in the spirit of the challenge I’m sharing the premise, why I wanted to write it, and where I’m stuck on each. Mostly, I got super excited about the starts, then fizzled out on the execution. 

If any of them sound like something you’d want to read, let me know! Engagement = motivation to my silly little brain. (And hey, I already made some graphics!)

WIP #1: Summertime Blues

Premise: It’s the summer between Eddie’s first and second senior year, and he’s working for a friend of Wayne’s so he can make extra cash to put toward the van he’s desperate to buy. The friend runs a landscaping company, so Eddie’s out mowing lawns. Cue: the Cunninghams. A pool, a pretty girl, a bratty little brother, and hormones in the summer heat. 

Why? Because I liked the idea of exploring a “what if” that had them getting together when they were younger rather than older, giving me the chance to explore an Eddie who hasn’t entirely found himself, and a Chrissy who’s still figuring out what ‘good’ looks like when it comes to a boyfriend.

Where I’m stuck: I really like the premise, but I’m having trouble finding the there there. I think, ultimately, I want it to follow the structure of a romance novella, but I don’t want to overlap with what I’m already doing in Soul. So, I don’t know, I was hot to trot on it for a while and then I kind of burned out. Maybe I should just post the first chapter and see if that re-inspires me? 

WIP #2: Kinky 90s

Premise: Somehow Chrissy and Eddie both end up in the same early 90s BDSM scene in Indianapolis. Eddie’s been in it for a few years, and he mostly doms. Chrissy’s newly single (maybe divorced) and feeling herself for the first time in her life, exploring some desires she’s never let herself think much about. Leans Dom!Eddie/Sub!Chrissy, but because it’s me, there will be power dynamics and switching and examination of what those roles actually look like in a functional relationship. I wanted to write a series of one-shots, starting with one where they run into each other at a munch, maybe, and transitioning into various scenes where they explore their kinks while 100% falling for each other. 

Why? I wanted to research what BDSM communities were like in the 90s, before the ease of having Fet and other online spaces to find people. How does a woman find her way in safely, and what does community look like when you can’t vet people quite as well as you can these days. I like the idea of Eddie working in the city, getting by, and dorking out about floggers and rope the same way he used to dork out about D&D. Plus, I wanted to write them having kinky sex. I am a simple creature. 

Where I’m stuck: I kind of wanted them to dance around getting together for a while, but the innate attraction is so goddamn strong it’s hard to put roadblocks in their way. Which is usually a sign I need to STOP trying to put roadblocks in their way and find another source of conflict instead. The nice thing about this one is that if I wanted to, I could just post a one-shot every so often and let it be what it is. So maybe I will.

WIP #3: Pegging One-Shot

Premise: Chrissy pegs Eddie. 

Why? I like the idea of them being in an established, happy relationship and discovering something new and a little taboo (to them). 

Where I’m stuck: Figuring out how to actually get to the part where they talk about it. My initial thought was that Eddie brings up anal as a thing to try, and Chrissy’s like “you first” but that doesn’t really feel like them, because I feel like they’re pretty sexually compatible, overall. So, I don’t know, I’m noodling on a few different ways to approach it that feel authentic to both their characters and the time period. Where, again, there isn’t this wide world of porn and helpful hints at their fingertips, and you can’t order a bespoke strap-on from Etsy. If this does get done, it’ll be a one-shot, so at least there’s that. 

And that, as they say, is that! I have other ideas, but nothing I've actually written significant wordcount on. Thanks again to Hellcheer Anniversary Week for fun prompts, and getting me to revisit these guys all over again!

[hotdamnmadison]

Just some Tuesday thoughts...

I've had the pleasure of getting to know a lot of great people via the internet these past few years. Sites like Tumblr, Fet Life, Double List, etc. have connected me with some pretty neat individuals.

But what spurred this little write up is the life cycle of those relationships. When you meet someone on a sex based website (or run a sex based blog) you see a lot of faces come and go. So many of us are on the hunt for something so specific. Some want a "one and done" situation... while others (like myself) want a drawn out scenario (call it dating, call it a FWB, call it what you call it).

I hate the part of the life cycle when I notice the change - the inevitable moment when a potential candidate has lost interest. Long essays and paragraphs turn into two sentence interactions (if that). Friendly/flirtatious conversation turns into a slightly degrative or judgmental interaction. In other words, someone shows their true colors.

I wrote a story over a year ago -

https://hotdamnmadison.tumblr.com/post/698363090093375488/and-ashley

It details a fictional, mostly toxic yet romantic interaction I might've had with a real person - if they hadn't experienced the change. (FYI the toxicity wasn't fictional, the romance sure was though.)

A character starts so eager and responsive - he knows that he has one shot at making a first impression with me. And then slowly but surely his excitement, his effort, and his desire all disintegrate in the matter of a couple weeks.

It is this part of the life cycle that I start giving up. I know the ship has sailed. I haven't changed anything on my end, so the issue is on the other side. And the moment I start to notice the change I tend to back away slowly. I'm not trying to get hurt again.

What causes this? Why is it most of the online relationships deteriorate? Is it the "cum and done" bullshit I've already written about?

Or did someone's wife catch them in the act? Or did I simply not give them my flesh soon enough?

Regardless, it stings so fucking bad when you think you've found someone who is different, only for them to turn out EXACTLY like everyone else.

I'm finally getting to my point. I'm tired of "online dating" and hookups. People aren't consistent enough for me and I don't know why they change. Maybe it is me, and I just can't see it for myself. I wish people would just come out and be honest up front....

"I don't want to date, I want to fuck... here is a pic if you're interested."

That person might not be my thing, per say, but at least we didn't waste two months while they lied to me about romance and dating.

Maybe I'm the only one dealing with this. Idk. It's aggravating and I'm tired of having the same convos over and over again - just to be let down at the end of it all.

[wiggispa0fartface]

silly little redone intro post

: ̗̀➛ My name is Sam, but online i use Joiucy

: ̗̀➛ I'm 14 so pls only SFW interactions!

: ̗̀➛Any pronouns work idrc but she/her is what I'm used to

: ̗̀➛ I'm a Gemini but I don't really know about astrology

: ̗̀➛ My MBTI is INFP-T if that's cool to anyone

: ̗̀➛ I'm a German/American

: ̗̀➛ Currently relearning to be fluent in German

: ̗̀➛ My time zone is CDT

: ̗̀➛ I'm neurodivergent and will use TW/CW 's and tone tags if needed/wanted

: ̗̀➛ I do a lot of writing and drawing

: ̗̀➛ I listen to music like 7 hours a day so I'm open to music recs

: ̗̀➛ My messages are always open, but if you are going to vent please ask, I will most likely say yes if I'm not busy atm but will always come back and listen

: ̗̀➛ I struggle with communication so patience is appreciated

: ̗̀➛ I love listening to people info dump and I like learning about others interest

: ̗̀➛ I'm kinda a boring person tbh but hopefully some people will like this account

: ̗̀➛ I am a queer person btw

: ̗̀➛ I want this account to be a safe space for people but I do not tolerate disgusting stuff like pediofiles/zoopfiles/racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia or discrimination or weird fet!shes and such yk?

✿°•∘ Welcome ∘•°✿

[crplpunkklavier]

hi this is maybe a weird question and im sorry if so, and also sorry if its different between germany and america, but like how did u go about finding these bdsm events to go to? i think id like to start looking into that sort of thing, but barring just googling "bdsm events in [local city]" i have no clue where to start—and if it is that simple, do u have any tips for someone interested but with Zero experience in the community? again sorry to bother, i just kinda figure id rather ask a real person before i start blindly googling stuff 😭

hey no problem! i think you're very right to go to a real person with this, google can be confusing at best with kink stuff lol

my answer is fetlife! idk if you've ever heard of it, the initiated like to joke that it's "kinky facebook," which is sort of true. you can make a free account there, and don't worry, it luckily doesn't actually have anything to do with facebook, this kink website is not going to harvest your data the way fb would, and you are under no obligation to tell anyone there your name or even where you live. but! you can then filter events by location, and you should find at least a few munches in your area.

i always advise some caution with fetlife, because it is also used as a social network, and that means you can meet the same amount of assholes there as you can meet on any other social network. chances are if you have a fet account then someone will sooner or later hit you up to try and use it as a dating website, but that doesn't have to be what you use fet for. i at this point pretty much only use it to keep track of events in my area, and occasionally to look at other people's shibari pics for inspiration.

anyway. not to immediately shift into dad mode. you can curate your own online safety lmao the last thing i just wanted to say is that in my experience the US actually tends to be much more active on fet than germany! it is an english-speaking site. so im keeping my fingers crossed that theres something fun going on in ur area