#FECKING PRONOUNS

[thingstrumperssay]

Some weirdo bigots created a "woke detector" on Steam where it lists games that has anything like queer people, a "they/them" option, people of color. (Though they call it "pro-DEI.") Also they use the word "hermaphrodite" instead of intersex, because of course they do.

Hogwarts Legacy is on the "not recommended" list for being "overtly pro-LGBTQ+ and pro-DEI."

So was Portal 2 for being "anti-patriarchy." (?????)

Out of 1416 games, only 381 of them are "recommended."

One of them is Bioshock 2, which is anti-capitalist. (And being "anti-capitalist" is one of the things that will land you on the "woke" list. But for some reason this game is "recommended.")

So once again bigots are both being weird and have no idea what the fuck they're talking about.

[irishmammonagenda]

Catholic MC Gets Sent Into Hell?! Not Clickbait! (part one)

introduction, part one, part two, part three warnings: light swearing, religious theme(s), GN (though implied AFAB mc, they/them pronouns used.) It's implied that MC knows prayers in irish,idk how to word that but😭😭 (i'm new to writing so i dont think i'm too good at characterisation yet)

A strangled scream rips itself from their throat as they lurch downwards into what can only be described as an abyss, the plastic river rock bottle and their phone almost rip themselves from their blazer, MC grips onto them for dear life, the only familiar things in this vacuum of darkness.

The fear almost paralyzes them, and through their years of catholic conditioning, MC does the only thing they can think to do, they pray. Muttering out a prayer to the Patron Saint of Protection, Archangel Michael, MC finds theirself falling onto cold, tiled ground in some bastardisation of wonderland.

They almost sigh in relief, if not for the group of people they catch in their peripherals, on their knees MC looks around, pulling their school skirt further down, it unrolls slightly from where it was rolled at the waist. MC lends wide eyes to the 8 men around the....court room...? They're met with a range of reactions. A man with hair red as blood stands, his arms extended out at his sides in some sort of attempt to be welcoming, to his right is a stoic, though calmly smiling man with green ombre-esque hair. Arguably the most unsettling of the two.

Nevertheless, MC looks to the 6 others in the room, their instincts going haywire, a blond with eyes so green they could be neon, a beautiful man-not that the rest weren't-with hair that reminded MC of the rose coloured shloer they'd get to drink at Christmas.

A man with...indigo? hair...MC was never good with colours, but it didn't matter as he was more focused on his gameboy and glaring at the tan white haired man who looked like the epitome of chaos than them. MC could live with that. They could also live with not having seen the ginger inhale a cake whole, but that was by far the least strange thing that had happened. Then they set their eyes upon the last man of the group, standing to the left hand side of the red-haired brown skinned man, a brunet, or would it be more fitting to say noirette? MC didn't know, either way his hair was black as night, with the slightest hint of silver....or was it grey? Either way, he meets their gaze with his crimson eyes. MC's breath hitches. Falling, only to land in an emo pinterest board looking courtroom with a bunch of men, all of which with strange hair and eyes? They needed to leave.

The man with scarlet hair begins to talk, "Hello MC and welcome to the Devil-"

"Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy na-" MC begins to mutter, their eyes shut tight. The tension in the room grows thicker, they can no longer hear the game on the indigo haired man's gameboy, he must've shut it off.

"Lucifer....What's the human doing?" Scarlethead man asks hesitantly, the name spurs MC on, their prayer ups an octave, "By kingdom come, thy will be done-"

"-Praying. It looks like, Diavolo." A sadistic sounding voice responds, offence dripping in this 'Lucifer's' tone.

"-on earth as it is in heaven-"

"-Oh."

MC drowns out the squabble that begins between these...demons. They pray over and over again, the fighting only continues as they get started into the ten Hail Marys.

"Sé do bheatha a Mhuire, atá-"

A new voice joins in. "Ohh?~ What's with the strange words? That doesn't sound like latin."

A sigh can be heard afterwards, "Neither was the praying in English, Asmo. Besides, humans pray in all of their languages now."

"Really?"

"Feck."

Now that gets MC to stop praying and to look up in surprise at the sound of the voice, "Of course demons can be Irish. Of fucking course." They mutter before meeting several pairs of eyes and immediately lowering their head and muttering once more.

"Satan! You visited humans way more t-than us! D-do something!" MC doesn't hear the chain of responses, only picking up, 'worthless otaku like me!' and 'i'm not a human whisperer!'

The name Satan though....

"Saint Michael the Archangel! Defend us in battle!-"

"-Michael?" The strict tone says aloud. Tension was growing thicker.

"-Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil!-"

"-now thats just mean!"

"-Yeah! Human who do ye think yer messin' with?-"

"-May God rebuke him we humbly pray!-"

"My Lord, would you like me to fetch Simeon?"

"That would be a good idea!" The scarlet haired demon, the 'Lord' says, there's laughter? in his voice though.

"-And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host!-"

Silence takes over the room. Until it doesn't.

"Hmm?~ Wasn't that Lucifer's role?"

"W-whaa?! Don't bring that up! He l-looks like he's about to rage quit during a campaign!"

"Diavolo. How long will Barbatos be in fetching Simeon." That annoyed, stern voice asks, although it's less of a question and more of an order. That must be Lucifer.

"-bY the Power of GOd, cast into hell SataN! And all-"

Snickering can be heard.

"L plus Ratio plus ROFL!"

"Shut up Levi." A voice hisses.

"-other eVIL Spirits who pROwl around the wORLD seeking the ruin of souls!"

"Uhhh...*munch* why's the human glowing?"

...

"nevermind."

[zmasters]

The Characters in my Chaos Mercenary Warband: The Rust Hydras

I can't draw for shit, enjoy the descriptions of my lovable group of psychopaths.

Characters from my Warhammer fan fic, and models I play. I will add things as time goes on.

The Rust Hydras are an Alpha Legion mercenary warband lead by the Warpsmith Narvik. Based out of the strike cruiser Rusted Herald, but has recently taken over the fedual world of Kage in the Izanagi system, the warband specializes in sabotaging enemy vehicles. While a small force, they offer their services as mercenaries. This is usually done by infiltrating the target's location, sabotaging and stealing vehicles and defense platforms, and leaving when the hiring invasion force arrives. They also build daemon engines for sale.

Vera von Hellebor

Role: Knight Destructor Pilot, Psyker, Daemon Summoner, Forge Assistant

Aliases/Nicknames: Bloodfly, Narvik's Pet, the feck is that thing?

Pronouns: she/her

Physical Description: 6ft 5. Teal scaled carapace, which can change colors and take the appearance of normal human skin-tone. Her arms and legs end in four sharp claws, but can be reshaped into human-like proportions. Blonde hair and purple eyes, both of which can be changed as well. A pair of horns sprout from her forehead, and she has a tail. She has a pair of blood red insect wings, which are kept hidden in her back carapace.

Bio:

The mutated daughter of the leader of the Knight House Hellebor, Vera and her knight, the Unrepentant Misery (inherited from her brother, Sven, who past defending her from the inquistion), were given up to the Alpha Legion warpsmith Narvik in order to protect her from the Inquisition. Under Narvik's tutelage, she was raised as his assistant.

Personality:

Knight pilot savant, master of the forge, and novice daemon summoner, Vera is an moron in ever other possible field, and is only a competent spy because of her psyker powers.

Bubbly and optimistic though quick to rage, she sees Narvik as her father, and is willing to do whatever he says. Her daily duties include summoning daemons to be put into engines, and killing daemons that escape from being put into engines.

Daemons find her difficult to possessed due to her overwhelming optimism. That being said, it has happened before. As well, Vera the psyker strangely favors Khorne over the other three Chaos Gods, and wears a Khornate pendent gifted to her by her older sister Marianne (a proper Khorne follower).

She has since carved out a small kingdom on the moon of Kage, and claims (key word, claims) all of the Izanagi system as hers. But she finds actually ruling a kingdom to be boring, and plans to hand it off to her partner Zyn.

Vera is aromantic, a trait that confuses the asexual Narvik and Iska. She is also in a queer platonic relationship with Zyn, who wants a proper romantic relationship but understands that it's unlikely.

Likes: Murder, blowing shit up, building things to blow shit up with

Dislikes: Peace, actually ruling the kingdom she made, her biological father

Narvik the Rusting Hydra

Role: Warband Leader, Warpsmith,

Aliases/Nicknames: Alpharius, Omegon, "that red one" -Iron Warrior's Chaos Lord, "Father" -Vera

Pronouns: he/him

Physical Description: 8ft 2. Olive skin with no body hair. Most of his body has been replaced by cybernetics in a way that resembles an unmodified astarte. Wears a rust-red set of armor, only his helmet and right pauldron being Alpha Legion teal. His armor appears to be perpetually stained in oil.

Bio:

Graduated as a tech-marine from Mars a day before the Horus Heresy, Narvik had a rough start as a Chaos space marine. He quickly jumped ship, taking a handful of legionnaires of various traitor legions with him, and vanished into the Warp. He and his men reappeared a few (thousand) years later, accidentally causing a warp storm to cover Vera's homeworld the day she was born, which mutated every child born for an entire month. Hiding out for a few years, Narvik stole these mutated children, alongside a number of captured human serfs and knights. As the world was torched by the inquisition, and they vanished back into the Warp.

Personality:

Narvik is a serious man, prioritizing the survival of his people over anything else. His training under the mechanicum caused him to develop a clinical and mechanical outlook on everything. Despite this, he cares for Vera like a daughter, despite his emotionless style of speaking suggesting otherwise.

He spends most of his free time mentally connected to the Rust Herald's machine spirit, wishing for the simple life of being a ship.

He taught Vera how to read binary, and nothing else.

One of his hearts temporarily stopped after catching Vera drinking oil. She was fine.

Likes: Fucking with people, selling what remains of his soul for the highest price, dreaming about being a complete machine, Vera

Dislikes: Loud noises, the Rusted Herald taking damage, the mechanicus (he's fine with the mechanicum)

Havoc Champion Iska

Role: Havoc Squad Commander, Second-in-Command

Aliases/Nicknames: Havoc, Rusty, Uncle

Pronouns: [REDACTED]/[DATA EXPUNGED] do not refer to them

Physical Description: 8ft 10. Wears a set of rust red armor with taloned boots. Each pauldron is silver in color. They never removes their armor in the view of others.

Bio:

The youngest of the astartes of the Rust Hydras (being born after the Heresy), Iska has quickly raised through the ranks to entering Narvik's personal guard. They now serves as Narvik's right hand, taking charge whenever the warpsmith is busy building machines or daydreaming of being a machine spirit.

Personality:

Iska is a creature of few words, only speaking when they deems appropriate. And most times, they still don't speak. As leader of a havoc squad, they favor long range combat, their favored weapons being a lascannon.

Iska has volunteered for the role of uncle in Vera's life, spoiling the little beast with trophies from their conquests.

Vera sees Iska as a big, quiet teddy bear.

Narvik thinks Iska is an effective warrior and a worthy successor.

Everyone else is terrified by the silent giant.

Likes: Vera, Murder

Dislikes: Everything else

Zyn

Role: Vera's partner, Spy

Aliases/Nicknames: Horns, Bloodfly's Bloodbag

Pronouns: she/them

Physical Description: 6ft 2. A beastwoman with black fur, bright yellow eyes, curved ram-like horns, and bone white hooves.

Bio:

The mutated daughter of Vera's wetnurse, she and her future partner were close for their entire lives. She wasn’t abducted with Vera though, and was forced on the run with alongside the remaining nobility of House Hellebor. Zyn and Vera united over two decades later, after Vera killed her father for selling her out to the inquistion and causing the collapse of House Hellebor. Since then, she has served as Vera's queen. And while she isn't as gifted as Vera is in battle, she knows how to read and generally takes care of the day-to-day ruling.

Personality:

Zyn is very defensive of Vera, seeing her partner and knight lord as theirs. This has gotten them into trouble as they tried to defend their partner from potential suitors. When away from suitors, she is incredible lovey-dovey with Vera, who's aromantic ass is also incredible oblivious. Zyn has to specifically say that she wants sex to get Vera's attention, and sometimes that doesn't work.

She was trained to be Vera's maid prior to her abduction by the Rust Hydras, and generally takes care of the cleaning and laundry. Vera can never do laundry again, after trying to using the heat produced by her knight's exhausts to dry their clothes. Zyn also cooks everything, due Vera somehow burning ice cream. She is fine with this, as despite their bestial appearance and rage, Zyn has a traditionally feminine personality. She wants to be the housewife, cooking, cleaning, and raising their kids. Though she's fine without the "kids" part.

She is unaware that Vera had laid eggs and given them away, mostly because Vera isn't sure how that happened and feels too embarrassed to admit it.

Once discovered that Vera was possessed by a daemonette after she wanted to top.

Likes: Vera, murder, housework

Dislikes: Non-mutated humans, a knight collecting dust, blood in her clothes

I may occasionally add updates to this, if anything, just to make Vera weirder.

[sammaelsfatcock]

ok so this is gonna be my pinned post

Hello, This first section is being edited in light of ongoing events.

Hi, I'm Sam! I'm a really rather queer, bisexual person in a bit of a gender mess. You may refer to me by he/him or she/her pronouns, or it/its if you're feeling kinky about it. Yes yes, I know. A queer tumblrite beginning to use different pronouns? I do wonder where this will go- And yeah. I know. Just- let me get there on my own time.

This is a blog dedicated to my horny thoughts, to whatever gets me off, and to sometimes writing smutty anons in people's inboxes just to see how it goes down. I would, of course, much appreciate any smutty/slutty things deposited into my inbox, most especially if you want to run some of the things marked in red down below.

Assholes get blocked. With prejudice.

You'll meet some fair hard kinks on this blog, including but not limited to: Consenting Non-Consent (CNC) Blood Monsterfucking Furry stuff FICTIONAL Incest Rope stuff Puppy play Hypnosis (of the kink and potentially real variety) Forcefem Masochism etc.

I DO NOT WISH TO SEE ANY:

Scat, feederism, vomit, or anything of the sort. Do it yourself, but keep it well away from me, thanks. Also, don't come in here if you're the type of feck to dodge aftercare. I'm not having it, not even as a kink.

Also if you're a TERF you better leave and go take a good long think about your life.

So

Have fun! And remember, drink some fuckin' water. You need it.

(for spitting on me, obviously)

Personal tags below (tbu): V V V V V V

[bee-ina-boat]

Help what does it mean when your afab and identify as a girl but not as a woman or female and those words make you uncomfortable in reference to yourself and you identify as kind of a guy but not really it's just that masc terms feel nice sometimes and you also love they them pronouns and androgyny but your hyper femme as feck what does this mean what does this mea

[strivingtofall]

Hello, I am a 29 year old enby, I use He/Them pronouns. I am a Dominant, but I am a Soft/Service Dom/Daddy Dom. So if you're looking for someine hardcore, off ye feck. I am polyamourous and live with my spouse. I am also AuDHD, so please communicate directly with me, I struggle with social cues.

This blog is for horny blogging/finding poly/k!nky mutuals as well as getting out some hard feelings every once in a while.

Also for my international moots who want to help someone learn, I'm learning German, Danish, and Italian and would love to learn the slang and idioms of actual day to day speakers and not just what is glossed over in class. Danke! Tak! Prego!

Into

Good girls/boys/third option (love, pet, darling, sweet one, etc.)

Praise - giving

Breeding - giving

Spankings - giving

Using overstimulation as a punishment - giving

Oral - giving > receiving

Biting - giving > receiving

Scratching - receiving

Lactation - recieving

Begging - recieving

Dungeons and Dragons - just checking you're reading

Choking - giving

Rogue/Bard - no seriously, I'm a geek off ye pop

Puppyplay - curious about

Somno - curious about

Faux knife play - curious about

DNI

Minors (obviously)

R*pe play/drug play - it just feels messy and manipulative regardless of prior consent

Degradation

Misgendering/detransition

Anyone under 25, I am too old for you.

Bodily fluids - sk@t, watersports

Asks and DMs are open to anyone 25+

I will block you if you do not have your age in your bio or you're an asshole.

[picklesthedrummer420]

A blog !

I've got a fecking Tumblr now! Send in asks, might be busy gettin' drunk and might take a bit ta get to yer asks.

Ooc; The runner of this account is very autistic and goes by it/he pronouns. This blog will be "ran" by Pickles, all asks will be in character(unless specified otherwise), and he'll have my own head cannons and shit. Probably won't be on this blog too often though. Also I know there's already a pickles ask blog 😭

Some of these posts will be in a "pickles talking to Dr twinkletits" format, but interactions from other band members/ppl is still appreciated on those ones, I just like pretending he's in therapy with some of the posts though. Those will be tagged with #picklestherapy

Nathan interactions will be tagged with #record destroyer

Skwisgaar interactions will be tagged with #blonde prick

Toki interactions will be tagged with #youngest

Murderface interactions will be tagged with #uglyfuck

[thingstrumperssay]

The Pokemon DLC that just came out has gender neutral bathrooms and conservatives are either pissed off or having to cope with it by calling it a "family restroom" even though it says that anybody can use it.

[latenightsimping]

His year

Summary: She lost her best friend, and nothing would ever be the same again.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x reader

Words: 791

Warnings: REALLY FUCKIN’ SAD DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU, angst, death scene, established relationship, blood, graphic depiction of loss, no good endings, bereavement, sadness, last chance mate it ain’t pretty, she/her pronouns, use of pet name (angel)

AN: I was really sad this morning (still haven’t actually slept) and so I felt the need to write this. The scene is for my own fic, but I kept it without names so it could work as a reader insert. I don’t know man, like y’know when you’re sad and you listen to sad songs to make it spicy? Basically that. Going through a lot okay lemme vibe. Haven’t proof read, but feck it I’ll do it later. 

Twenty years old.

Twenty years old, and it was supposed to be his year, and he was supposed to live until they were old and grey. He pinky promised that they’d have matching rocking chairs, and he was going to be there until they left this earth together and he was twenty years old.

And now he was getting blood all over her jeans, over her hands, staining them so they’d never be clean again. His expressive brown eyes, the ones she’d fell in love with when they were only little kids now barely focused on her as he sputtered out more blood and she was trying so hard to keep pressure on his wounds.

“I didn’t run away,” came his small voice, and her heart fell out of her chest and shattered into a million fragments. A shaky hand coming up to press his fingertips to her cheek for the last time, a soft furrow of his brow as he felt her tears that just wouldn’t stop.

“Stop talking, we’re going to get you out of here,” came her shaky voice, fraught with agony as she panicked at the sight of him slipping away. Trying desperately to fan the embers of his soul, to breathe life into him when everything was falling away around her. How he swallowed hard around his last breaths and didn’t pull his gaze away from her. How she hoped she could feel him cradling him on her lap, arms gripping onto bites to try and stem the trauma.

“Listen to me,” came his soft voice, and how could she not? How could she not hang onto his every word, that part of her brain screaming that these were going to be the last that she’d ever hear her Eddie speak? “I love you, angel. I love you so much.”

She could hear Dustin from behind her, screaming her name, but nothing else seemed to matter. Not when his eyes became glassy, staring right through her as the light in them diminished. His last words had been the ones she’d been needing to hear ever since she met him. The three words he told her when they woke up in the morning, and the last thing he murmured at night, and said between kisses during the day. Now he would never say them again, would never hold her again, and he was twenty years old and he was going to graduate and take her far away from here in his van and now he was gone.

She could hear screaming, but it didn’t register that it was her own. Could barely feel the tugging on her arm, telling her they had to run, but what was the point? What was the point, when the boy who hung the moon for her would never do it again? Would never smile at her, or sing along to sappy rock love songs while he stared at her, or play his guitar for her ever again? She couldn’t leave him; never leave his body, needing to curl up beside it and eventually join him in whatever afterlife there might be. Bare her soul while ash rained upon her, scream until her lungs gave out as she cursed the Gods that this life was unfair. How could she give him up, when he would never be put into the ground, or have a place where she could mourn? How could she leave him here in this hell, all alone and cold?

A stronger pair of arms pulled her up, no matter how hard she thrashed against them. Could hear Steve’s voice, but couldn’t make out the words as he lifted her over his shoulder and draped her across his back as she watched Eddie’s body get smaller and smaller while he ran. Why couldn’t it be her that died? He was going to make something of himself; was going to be somebody that could make the Munson name proud. Be a rockstar, get into trouble for trashing hotel rooms and getting away with it because he was just so charming. Have millions of adoring fans screaming his name, and have sell out records and be rich and still be the same boy that would always share his lunch with his best friend with no concern for his own hunger.

The rest of the world was blacked out as she finally succumbed to her own injuries. A space where nothing and everything existed; a plane of dreams that never came to the surface. Could feel no pain, a place for her heart to rest for a while, until she’d have to wake up and face the world without Eddie in it.

Twenty years old, and it was supposed to be his year.

[maryeve-the-bitch]

I thought I shared this but apparently not or Tumblr is doing the thing that doesn't show some posts in my fecking tags.

New Zealand is intersex. They use they/them pronouns. However, they were raised as a male.

[thechaosgoblin]

Okay, so I know this is a long shot, but, here we go.

I am looking for a DND 5e group to play in (although I am up for any tabletop rpg as long as you can get me the material {I don't mind less moral ways of getting it if it's from a big cooperation} and don't mind teaching me), I would like for the group to be mostly LGBT, if not entirely, and hopefully a little neurodivergent (which is why I am posting this on Tumblr).

I want to be in group that spends time together outside of a session

I can play any day but Sunday

I can try playing weekly, but biweekly and even monthly would probably be better for me since I tend to get burnt out in weekly

My time zone is gmt -5

I don't know what time I will be able to play, since sometimes I wake up at 6 am, other times I am going to bed at 6 am, my sleep schedule is non-existent, and alarms can't always wake me up but I will try my best to get up at a consistent time, and other then that, I am free for any time before 7pm, but I might be able to get later to work, just it'll be even more inconsistent

I usually play rouges or wizards but I haven't played a class I haven't liked, so, I am willing to play whatever the party needs

Max group size 6 total

I have phone anxiety but am also only willing to play through voice chat, so, yeah, I might have a panic attack mid game

I am 21 turning 22 in a few months

I won't play with anyone under 18

I sometimes can't believe English is my one and only language with how badly I feck it up regularly

While I have never dmed a game, I would like to be able to, just as long as I don't get stuck as a forever dm, and I am unwilling to dm unless I am used to the group

I don't mind romantic and/or s*xual content in dnd

I have a discord, dm me and I'll send it if I think I would work in your group

I am autistic

I am scared of new people, so I am gonna be very nervous for the first while

I can go pseudomute in group conversations, doesn't usually happen with DND, but the one time I played with strangers it did, so, yeah, I might not talk much and it might take a while for me to put what I want to do in words

I have a lot of speech impediments and audio processing problems, so the odds of duel misunderstandings is pretty high

I am cursed with a persistent cough and random allergy attacks, so, coughing and sneezing is likely, so is having to cancel because I can't talk in complete sentences do to my coughing/sneezing (although much less likely)

I am aroace (technically Cupidromantic with a preference for girls and nbs, but I prefer the term aromantic for specifics, lesbian for general label) non-binary (any pronouns)

If you have any questions, ask them in a dm, I'll answer them there

[kdr-inc]

https://picrew.me/image_maker/614903

So I saw someone use this character maker to recreate the Chain and I just went. “Feck it.”

And this happened.

(The lack of skin color or hair is to allow the reader to imagine themselves as the Operator themself which is why I was dodging around pronouns and not saying what the kid’s dominant hand was ;) )

[vampyrs-blood]

psst your pronouns page leads directly to The Void..... if you werent aware

oh feck i forgot to change it!! it should be fixed in a couple seconds

[katesmemes]

pt. 1 || feel free to change any pronouns, etc. || may contain some nsfw!

“Sorry, butter fingers!”

“Just saying it could be.”

“You can kill me, but I will regret it.”

“[Name], what the fuck, quit chasing me!”

“Someone is killing people.”

“Why did he put ‘kind’ in brackets?”

“Sorry, just a little joke I like to do.”

“I’m never wearing pants ever again.”

“This is great; this is a good rebranding.”

“I just scream and when I hear the echoes coming back, I know there’s a wall coming up.”

“I wasn’t actually that confident, it was more of a fifty-fifty.”

“’Laughing My Old Lumbago K’Something’-- I-I dunno, he’s making up online leet speak things.”

“Sure, we killed a few innocents along the way, but sometimes that sorta thing just happens.”

“It’s called patrolling.”

“It’s called SUS.”

“If I could speak to him as a ghost, I’d say, ‘It’s not your fault,’ but, like- it clearly is.”

“Okay, now you went too far!”

“I’m not sure what even happened; I think everyone just left.”

“Didn’t want to lie, but you forced my hand.”

“I don’t have my glasses and I can’t see without my glasses.”

“The important thing is, a new friendship is blossoming.”

“God-- all of my partners leave me.”

“Peace is a lie; there is only passion -- true passion -- we gain strength -- true strength -- victory.”

“What are you drinking and can I have some?”

“Well, [Name] has a lot to answer for now.”

“Join us-- be a pacifist and have fun times with us!”

“[Name], you bet get ready for the best group hug of your life.”

“It might’ve been good enough for me, but that doesn’t mean it was the truth, unfortunately.”

“I think we’re moving beyond friends-- [Name] took off all their clothes--”

“The only way to remain a pacifist and preserve human life is by killing people.”

“Bye-bye! Don’t kill my friend ever again!”

“We may have lost, but we looked great doing it.”

“It really be like that sometimes.”

“I gotta try to defend myself, but in an honest way by just seeming stupid.”

“I guess, in a way, being stupid comes naturally to me because it’s working.”

“I don’t know why these people don’t just leave.”

“I don’t know if he doesn’t understand or he just, deep down, doesn’t like me.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You literally had one job.”

“I’ve been lying the entire time.”

“I’m just going the most brazen strategies and it’s somehow working.”

“This ship is a friendship.”

“I seem totally rational right now; I’m sure they trust me.”

“What’s a good Shrek quote for a time like this?”

“Sure, it’s big enough, but look at the location!”

“You’re the Donkey to my Shrek.”

“Shrek is a hero, just like in the hit film ‘Shrek 2′.”

“’Tell me why,’ as the great philosophers, Backstreet Boys, said.”

“This is the part where you run away.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what I’ve stumbled into here.”

“Winning doesn’t matter, friendships do.”

“‘Whit’-- a combination of what and shit.”

“He is not in our friendship circle.”

“I’ve never met an ocean before.”

“Oh, I win by default-- my favorite type of victory!”

“They finally had the confidence to sing ‘Barbie Girl’.”

“I know he wants to kill me, I just don’t know if he has the ability to.”

“They keep flipping between they love me and they fucking despise me.”

“We all go down together.”

“Get away-- I don’t want you anymore!”

“Um, I don’t know, you give off good vibes.”

“They’re all jealous of what me and [Name] have!”

“They don’t really hold the same weight, do they?”

“I can’t use the computer-- Oh my God, I’m a boomer!”

“No wonder I’m in fecking denial-- I’m miserable because I keep losing friends!”

“My parents warned me about people like you.”

“’Denial’ /is/ my middle name, after all-- and my first and last-- In fact, it’s my only name.”

“How- how is that possible? I don’t understand!”

“I made a horrible, horrible call.”

“I’m the defender of the stupid; I gotta protect my own kind.”

[aninevitablemultimuse]

Even more weird things my family said - sentence starters

Feel free to change pronouns as needed ^-^

“I clicked too violently and it hurt me.”

“I forgot people have friends.”

“Ah yes, I’ll just play my accordian of pain.”

“She’s a lizard and she’s got the hair, what more do you want?”

“Only try, never do.”

“I’m over here with my purple paper and it’s a crisis!”

“This child still does not have any legs, but he’s now part rabbit.”

“There’s no greater disguise than a mankini.”

“You can’t take cows skiing.”

“We don’t need slippers where we’re going. Because it’s nowhere.”

“You can’t put chives in a fox, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“That’s my seeing eye!”

“She’s a ho ho ho and it’s not fecking christmas.”

“For you this is a horseless kingdom, for me it’s a kingdom of horses.”

“Munchkinland looked fairly edible to me.”

“I don’t have big enough lungs for that.”

“Active updates on the chicken people.”

“They can just be a leg. It’s big.”

“I’ve got opposable thumbs, we can’t lose.”

“It’s not really an achievement unless you create your own victory theme.”

[miku-life-tips]

I’ve been using Kevin as your pronouns in my head I’m so sorry

My pronouns are Kev/Kev /j

I do use a few neopronouns actually though! I just really like gender despite not... really understanding it? If that makes any sense so I just went Feck it, any it is

I know the Kev/Kev neopronouns is a joke but honestly? I kind of like it