#FASTEST $50 I EVER SPENT !!

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

part two to this random thing!

pairing: steddie | word count: 3,651 | rated: E! this is Explicit! | now on AO3!

Robin, bless her heart, lets him leave an hour early.

“Okay, I can’t listen to another longing sigh, just go. I’ll cover until Ryan and Keith come in for the closing.”

Steve doesn’t need to be told twice. 

He heads home immediately, starts making a dinner he’s not even sure Eddie’s gonna want to eat before he’s even taken his vest off.

Would he want to eat something? He did kinda reject the ‘date’ part of his offer just before he left, said jokingly as it was.

It’s fine though, if Eddie just wants to get to the fun part of the evening. Again, he hadn’t quite agreed to the ‘for real’ part, so Steve would take what he could get. Even if that was just for one night.

Or multiple, he could be casual..

Or at least, he could pretend to be cool with casual.

He spent so long agonizing over it that he just barely realizes it’s already 4:36.

“Shit!” Steve takes the pan of fettuccine off the stove and hauls ass upstairs for the fastest, most thorough shower he can muster.

He avoids getting his hair wet, scrubbing the rest of himself nearly raw. Starts toweling off at 4:50, is pulling on a comfy pair of jeans and plain tee at 4:52, is downstairs plating the alfredo at 4:53, and is sweating from the hot shower still at 4:58 when Eddie knocks on the door.

“You’re early,” Steve accuses, opening the door wide.

“You’re astute.” Eddie grins back, stepping in and to the side to take off his sneakers. He’s changed since he was at Family Video, a fact that makes Steve’s stomach swoop. He also prepared for this. Duh, why wouldn’t he have?

“You changed.”

“So’ve you, big boy, that a problem?” Eddie smirks, standing straight and backing Steve towards the stairs behind him.

“No, of course not..” He’s cut off by Eddie’s lips on his, the soft, warm feeling of them sends all other thoughts in his brain elsewhere.

“Upstairs?”

“Lead the way, Stevie, darling”

Steve immediately swivels around and drags Eddie by the wrist up the stairs, dinner forgotten.

He gets to his door and swings Eddie through it first, following close behind and shutting it behind him.

Back to the door, Steve takes in the man in front of him, handsome, amazing, beautiful..

“You’re not too bad yourself, pretty boy.”

“So which is it first, Eddie,” Steve asks while stalking forward, much to Eddie’s delight, “Suck you down, eat you out, or fuck you into next week?”

Eddie backs up to the bed, sitting down as soon as the backs of his knees hit the corner. “I believe I was promised Tuesday, not just next week,”

Steve steps into the space between Eddie’s knees, “Oh right, my mistake,” He bends down slightly, and lifts the other man’s legs, throwing/shoving him backward towards the headboard, and follows him shortly after.

“Oh fuck,” Eddie breathes out when he lands against the pillows.

“What? You okay?” Steve backs away quickly, looking over the man below him. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, that was just one of the hottest things that’s ever happened to me, maybe the hottest thing.”

Steve blinks down at him once, then grins, “The hottest thing that’s happened to you so far.”

“You’re right, maybe you should get on with those other things then.”

Again, he doesn’t need to be told twice.

He slots himself between Eddie’s legs and folds himself down over top of the other man, locking their lips together while Eddie’s legs and hands lock themselves around his waist and into his hair, respectively.

He presses forward and down with his hips, pulling a perfect, breathy moan from Eddie’s throat. 

Oh, good idea.

Steve kisses down across the corner of Eddie’s mouth to his jaw, the underside of his jaw, his neck, sucking lightly as he goes.

He hears a whispered, “Don’t be shy, sweetheart, let them know who I belong to,” and with a moan of his own, starts to suck bruise after bruise into the long, soft column of Eddie’s neck.

The “Mine.” comes out of him on instinct, making him freeze.

The responding “Yours, sweetheart, all yours.” melts him again, pressing his hips and a couple more kisses into the beautiful thing beneath him before pulling back.

Eddie (astounding, perfect Eddie), is heaving breaths below him. His eyes blown even darker, and his now sun-kissed skin flushed pinker than he’s ever seen it.

“Beautiful.”

Eddie snorts out a laugh (‘So beautiful’, he thinks), “I bet you say that to all the ladies.” then pulls him back down again.

Lips and tongue preoccupied once again, Steve lets his hands wander. 

Well, his hand. The right one. The left is hooked under Eddie’s right shoulder at the moment, holding him up.

He starts way back at Eddie’s left knee, pressing his palm and fingers under and down his thigh, around his hip, and up his side, over his chest…

It’s there that he gets a sharper reaction, a higher-pitched whine in the back of Eddie’s throat. 

“I didn’t think there was any feeling there anymore.” he laughs, pressing his nose and forehead to Steve’s.

Oh yeah, there’s a significant lack of nipple on this side.

“It doesn’t hurt, does it?” Steve asks, moving that hand away and down to his hip instead.

“No, no, just feels like you’re barely touching it. Like you’re teasing me.” Eddie barks out a laugh, “Which really does it for me if you can believe that.”

“I can,” Steve agrees with a smile of his own, then moves back up to the scar, this time under Eddie’s shirt.

He rests his thumb where he can feel (guess?) where the missing little appendage should be, and curves the rest of his hand around bony ribcage.

“This okay?”

“Mmph.” Eddie says into his lips, since he’s decided he wants to sit up but also not remove his mouth from Steve’s as he does so.

Steve takes the hint and sits back onto his heels, his lips only leave Eddie’s for a moment when Eddie pulls his shirt over his head.

He does, and their lips meet one more time before Eddie lays back and says “I want your mouth on me.”

Somehow, Steve’s even harder than should be possible at those six words.

He dives down hungrily, dragging still spit-slick lips over the dark smattering of a happy trail, over heaving diaphragm, and up to the one nipple Eddie still possesses, his thumb going back to the missing one immediately.

He breathes open-mouthed over the sensitive skin there, letting his tongue get the first taste, the first reaction.

“Oh fuck,” Eddie’s chest immediately pushes upward, chasing the feeling. “Oh fuck you,”

“Maybe next time, sweet thing.” Steve says, then clamps his lips around the sensitive little nub. Sucking lightly and flicking just the tip of his tongue over it again and again and again.

Eddie’s breathy moans fill the air around them and when Steve finally lets up, Eddie can take a solid deep breath. “Holy shit.”

“You alright, Eds?”

“‘You alright, Eds?’” he mocks back with an eye roll, “He says, as if I’ve never been this hard in my life.”

“Maybe someone should do something about that.” Steve’s still lightly rubbing over the scar tissue on Eddie’s chest.

“Yeah, someone named Steve Harrington.”

Steve stops his ministrations, sitting up fully again and looking around his plaid nightmare of a room like he’s looking for someone.

“Oh..Oh! That’s my name!” He says, finally pointing at himself and grinning down at a still red Eddie. “Yeah, I can do that.”

His hands start popping open the buttons of Eddie’s jeans. 

“Yeah, I would hope so, big guy.” He chuckles lightly, “You’re so ridiculous.”

“No, what’s ridiculous are these pants, why are there so many buttons??” He’s gotten to button number four, and yeah, there’s all buttons instead of a button and zipper, but like…why?

Eddie just laughs at him. “Sorry, handsome, these were the only clean pair I had left,” he lifts his hips for Steve to shimmy the denim off his hips when the last button finally comes undone, “They’re a pair they gave me on the farm. Can’t work in skinny jeans very well, you know.”

“No, I don’t know.” Steve says, throwing the offending jeans behind him. The buttons clack loudly against his closet door. “What I do know is that I need these,” he pauses to run his palms over the wiry hair on two absolutely delicious thighs, “as earmuffs. Immediately.”

“Earmuffs? Wha–Ohhhh..” Eddie acknowledges low and long as Steve gets situated on his stomach between his legs. “Don’t you need to take these off too, sweetheart?”

Steve looks up at him, offended for making him break his concentration on Eddie’s crotch, but acquiesces, pushing Eddie’s legs up to get the elastic off over his ass and down his legs, settling back in on his stomach at the same time Eddie’s thighs relax over Steve’s shoulders (and ears).

Steve noses along the seam of thigh and crotch, and it takes Eddie until he’s basically up at his stomach again, to realize that he’s being kissed.

As soon as he does, however, he can’t do or say anything about it because at that same moment, his dick is swallowed up into Steve’s perfect mouth.

“Ohh Steve holy shit.”

Steve’s throat rumbles around him in response and that only makes him moan again.

“Oh fuck yeah, sweetheart, just like that. Your mouth is so perfect,” Eddie starts to babble as Steve begins to move up and down his length. “You’re so perfect, Steve, holy fuck, I–ohhh–yeah, yeah, keep going, darling.”

Steve picks up the pace, holding a steady rhythm and rumbling around him in response to each whimper or moan.

When he pulls off completely, Eddie looks down at him, his neck only a little sore from the way he’s had it wrenched back in pleasure, and nearly shoots off from the sight. 

Steve’s eyes are on him, his tongue swathing over the underside of his dick, the hair on either side of his head is plastered flat, his face a beautiful shade of pink. 

“What a pretty picture you are,” He sits up slightly, leaning on an elbow to run his thumb down the side of Steve’s flushed hot cheek. “What I would give to see you like this every goddamn day of my life.”

“You can, Eddie. I’m yours.” Steve says, like it’s nothing, then pushes his legs wide and up just a little higher to..

“F-fuck‘ng hell Steve—holy nghf—“

Steve’s tongue circles and dips into that ring of muscle over and over and over again, leaving Eddie a panting mess. The moans coming from Steve making every swirl and dip into him that much better. Just knowing he’s enjoying this as much as Eddie is…

“Steve, Steve!” Eddie looks down and squeezes his legs around Steve’s head minutely, trying to get his attention. Steve only moans louder, his eyes rolling back in his head at the movement. 

“Steve, sunshine, I’m serious,” he huffs out a laugh, “Come up here, you’re gonna make me come before you’re even naked.”

Steve grumbles at him, but complies, climbing back up onto the bed and kneeling at the foot. He pulls his shirt off in one quick motion and uses it to wipe his face off.

“Hello darling,” Eddie greets as Steve lays back down between his legs. There’s a hard seam at the front of his jeans that presses awkwardly on the underside of his head, but he ignores it, something to help take him down from the edge.

“Hi,” Steve grins, and Eddie can’t help but pull him down for a kiss.

He nudges Steve to flip over, which he does after a fleeting moment of confusion.

“My turn, handsome.”

The single button and well-worn zipper of Steve’s jean’s definitely come apart much easier than his own button-fly did, “See how easy that was? You should for sure wear regular pants next time.”

Eddie smirks up at him, lounging against the pillows, “That’s the second time you mentioned a ‘next time’, big boy.”

Steve’s face falls instantly. “Uh, y-yeah, I figured there would be a next time…will there not be?”

“No, no, hey, Steve baby,” Eddie climbs up Steve’s body to lay atop him, a mirror image of before, Steve’s warm hands coming up to rest on his back immediately. “I meant it earlier, when I said I was yours. I am, if you want me.”

Steve smiles softly, a hand leaves a cold patch on his back when it leaves to push a strand of hair back from his face. “I have since you pinned me to the wall of Reefer Rick’s boathouse.”

Eddie stares at him, wide-eyed before dissolving into peals of laughter. “Really Steve? That’s the moment you decided you wanted all this?” he gestures down his body incredulously.

Steve just continues to smile, no hint of embarrassment in his expression. “Okay, maybe it was before then; your whole bad boy schtick didn’t just have the girls swooning after you, ‘know.”

Another blank stare.

“Really? You have no idea what girls would say about you?”

“I don’t really strive to care what girls would say about me and—hang on, yeah I do, they’d say I’m a freak!”

“Yeah, but at least 70% of those were in the good way. Look, ask Robin, okay? From what she says, she was bombarded with questions about you after coming back from spring break. Band girls go insane for a ‘bad boy’.”

“Wow…who knew?” Eddie pauses, looking down at Steve, before getting up off the bed and gathering his clothes.

“Whoa…Eddie? What are you doing?”

“Getting dressed, duh, apparently I’ve got a whole band full of chicks to woo. Got any pointers, Steve-o?”

Steve snorts behind him, “You can’t go yet, I’m not done with you.”

“Oh yeah?” he picks up his boxers.

“Yeah, I have yet to fuck you into next Tuesday.”

Eddie drops his clothes unceremoniously and spins to face the bed once again.

Steve’s cocky grin melts away into flushed awe as soon as Eddie says: “Not before I ride you, you’re not.”

He goes to the nightstand first, telling Steve to “Lose the pants, big boy.” while gathering the lube and a size XL (Holy shit, really? I mean, he felt big back outside Family Video, but really??) condom.

There’s frantic shuffling and squeaking of springs, but by the time he turns, Steve’s flat on his back and…

“Oh, XL for sure.”

Eddie straddles Steve’s legs and drops the condom onto his chest.

“Hi baby,” He says, uncapping the lube and pouring it over Steve’s length.

He winces at the cold, but whispers “Hey, starlight.” in response.

Eddie can’t hold back the whimper that escapes his throat at that moment.

“Starlight?” Eddie manages, and starts to coat Steve’s cock with the lube.

“Yeah—unf, hah—yeah, you called me sunshine, and you’re—fuck—you’re like the night or whatever.”

He stops his hands’ movement so Steve can breathe. “I am the night? Are you saying I’m Batman?” Eddie gasps dramatically, “How’d you know??”

Steve laughs in return, “Dustin told me, obviously.”

“Damn that kid, he’s gonna get all the villains after me at this rate.”

“Shut up, asshole, I was trying to be sincere.”

“I know you were, sunshine, explain it to me?” He grabs ahold of Steve again, slowly pumping him.

“Oh fuck—Well, I figured if I was sunshine, and you’re basically my opposite right? And uh—uuhnn—I also thought if you were calling me that, it must be like, all the things about the sunshine that you also like about me, since you, you kn—kno—knowww——hate the sun.”

“That I do,” Eddie says, sounding just as breathless as Steve. “Keep going, sweetheart.” He opens the condom then, rolling it down and moves to straddle Steve’s hips, shifting back against the warm weight over and over, letting Steve run along the cleft of his ass.

“Ohhh yes—S—so I thought about the things I love about the night, even though I prefer daylight, and well…” he grabs hold of Eddie’s hips, holding him still against his own and looks him straight in the eye. “You are a clear summer night, Eddie. You are clear skies, a big bright full moon, perfectly glowing starlight.”

Steve’s hold on his hips shifts upward, lifting him above his length and gently pressing upwards.

“This okay?”

Eddie can only nod dumbly, the feeling of Steve pressing against him is nothing compared to the tightness in his chest at Steve’s words.

“Out loud, starlight,” He’s still only barely pressing against Eddie’s entrance.

“Fuck, yes, yes, it’s more than okay.” he manages to huff out, “I prepped before i came over here.”

Steve finally sinks into him then, well, rather, Eddie sinks down onto Steve and holy shit.

“Holy shit, I can feel you in my throat.”

“I’m not even all the way in yet, baby.” Steve responds, then shifts his heels into the mattress to press further.

He’s panting again. Panting and probably drooling, fuck, he feels so full.

Finally, Steve lowers his hips back down to the bed, seated fully inside the man above him.

“Take your time, darling, breathe. I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

His words help; Eddie finds himself relaxing further onto Steve.

“You’ve ruined me, sunshine. Ruined.” More panting, "No one is ever going to live up to this.”

Steve chuckles from below him, and Eddie cracks his eyes open to look down. When did he even close them?

“Would it be bad to say that I’m glad?”

Eddie grins back, feels himself relax completely. “Probably; can’t have you getting a complex, now can we?”

Another chuckle, “Oh Eddie,” Steve hauls him down, his lips ghosting at his earlobe, “I haven’t even fucked you yet.”

Then he starts to move.

Slow but hard, each thrust pitches Eddie forward, still bracketed in Steve’s arms. And with Every thrust, Steve pulls him back down away from the headboard infront of him and onto that fucking amazing dick.

Eddie knows he goes incoherent for a few minutes, he can’t even see since his eyes have been rolled back in his head since Steve started to move. Babbling and moaning and whining before he can get the words out.

“Wait, wait—Jesus H. Christ—Steve, hold on a second.”

Steve stops immediately, letting Eddie sit up.

“Eddie, you okay? Are you hurt?”

“No, no, just hold on—oh fuck that’s even deeper now, okay.”

Steve waits while Eddie catches his breath again.

“Do you want to stop?”

“Fuck no! ‘Course not! I just—“ He pauses, and chuckles, face blushing in embarrassment this time, “I said I wanted to ride you, didn’t I?”

Steve’s worry melts away, “That’s right, you did say that, didn’t you? Well,” he puts his hands behind his head then, the nonchalant asshole, “Have at it, darling.”

That spurs Eddie on even more. He’s going to get those hands back on him in minutes.

From the clock on the nightstand, it takes two before Steve’s grasping onto his hips again and panting up at him.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh Eddie..”

Eddie halts his movements. “Yes, Stevie dear?”

Steve honest to goodness growls in response and suddenly, Eddie is on his back under him.

“Holy shit..”

“You better hold on, Eddie darling.” is all the warning he gets before his legs are hiked up and Steve is nothing short of pistoning into him.

“Jesus—fuck! Yes, yes, yes, fuck yes, Steve, holy shit fuck meee~”

He dissolves into an unbroken stream of moans from that moment on, starting over with every “Eddie” that leaves Steve’s lips. Every grunt, every “Yeah,”, every “Fuck.”.

“St-Steve—HAH—Steve, I’m going to—“

“Yeah, yes—give it to me, c’mon…”

He paints both their stomachs with his release, and Steve follows soon after, collapsing atop him once he does.

They breathe heavily together for a few short minutes, Steve finally lifting himself up off Eddie with another “Hi.”

“Hi, sunshine.”

Steve smiles down at him and brushes a stray sweaty curl away from his forehead. “You in Tuesday, yet?”

Eddie barks out a laugh, “I think I made it to Wednesday, actually.”

—-

They shower together after Eddie can finally stand, and Eddie makes sure to taste Steve himself, despite how far down his throat he goes.

“Movie?” Steve asks once they’re both dressed.

“You read my mind, big boy,” Eddie grins, and leads the two of them down the stairs, “Can we order in some food too? I’m starv—“

“Oof—“ Steve runs right into Eddie’s back at the bottom of the staircase. “What’s wron–”

“You made dinner?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, I forgot.” He rubs the back of his head nervously, “I didn’t know if you would've had time to eat or if you’d even want anything.”

Eddie finally looks back at him with those insanely beautiful doe eyes of his, then back to the pasta he can see on the little table at the front window, then back to Steve.

“You don’t have to eat it, promise.” Steve grins, “It’s probably all gross and rubbery now.”

“No way, I’m gonna eat the fuck outta this dinner,” Eddie says, running into the kitchen and scooping up both plates “I’ll show you how me and Wayne reheat pasta the right way.”

Steve watches him dump both plates back into the pan on the stove as he goes on about how to make sure the noodles don’t get rubbery and weird, and how long pasta can go before getting weird, and Steve pulls him in for a kiss mid-rant.

“What was that for, sunshine?” Eddie asks, with a smile like the stars.

‘I love you.’ Steve thinks.

“Just like you, I suppose.” he says with a shrug and a cheeky grin. “Starlight."

those who asked to be tagged for part 2!! @dangdirtydemons, @justforthedead89, @gothwifehotchner, @corrodedbisexual, @str4wb3rry-guy

plus those who seemed interested in the tags on the prev <3: @matchingbatbites, @vecnuthy, @grimmfitzz, @crypticcorvidinacottage, @yournowheregirl, @mysteddiebrainrot, @mightbeasleep, @emchant3d, @scoops-stevie, @lets-try-to-be-normal-otakus, @quinnbower, @theheadlessphilosopher

[marislittlethings]

sorry i've fallen off my weekly bookmarks... genuinely have not been reading a lot of fic recently because i've been reading actual books! so here are a few of the books i've read over the past few weeks in the style (kinda) of weekly bookmarks

All For The Game - Nora Sakavic

The Foxhole Court (251 pages); The Raven King (316 pages); The King's Men (411 pages); The Sunshine Court (320 pages)

The series focuses on Neil Josten, son of a murderous crimelord who has spent the last eight years on the run. As a part of his latest fake identity, he signs with a College Exy team: the Palmetto State Foxes. Exy is a fictional sport, somewhere between lacrosse and hockey, played on a soccer sized court surrounded by plexiglass. Not only does Neil love the sport that he used to play as a child, but he's also incredibly talented. While he's determined to only stay with the Foxes for as long as his real identity remains a secret, he finds himself with more and more reasons to stay. One of which being the history he shares with the Son of Exy himself, Kevin Day, and another being the mysterious goalkeeper, Andrew Minyard. notes: this is possibly the fastest i've consumed anything, ever. this was a reread (of the first three books) and neil is as iconic as ever. bizarrely, i found myself relating to kevin? but the sunshine court is truly nora's best work and i love jean and he's my new favorite character, and the thing nora said about how he would die for kevin and neil every time???? soooo concerning

4:50 From Paddington - Agatha Christie (292 pages)

A friend of Miss Marple's sees a woman being strangled in a passing train. When police cannot find a body and doubt the story, Miss Marple enlists professional housekeeper, Lucy Eyelesbarrow, to go undercover. notes: lucy is so cool and so professional, i want to be her so bad. i really really liked this but it doesn't really crack my top agatha christie novels

Five Little Pigs - Agatha Christie (291 pages)

Caroline Crale died in prison after being convicted of murdering her husband, Amyas Crale, by poisoning him. In her final letter from prison, she claims to be innocent of the murder. Her daughter Carla Lemarchant asks Hercule Poirot to investigate the case based on the memories of the people closest to the couple. notes: oh my god i have so many thoughts about this. the end scene really reminds me of the end of wuthering heights... there's so much misery and it's all in the past so everything feels quite pointless and tragic, but after everything, there is hope because there is still life out there, there is still youth, there is still all this potential in the world. idk it just reminds me of this recurring theme/moment that i feel like i've been seeing my whole life, like no matter how awful an experience is, there's always something after

[thegeminisage]

RUN 65 AND I ROLLED CREDITS ON HADES!!!!

hi, firstly, endgames spoilers. cathy close this fucking post

anyway, i could not BELIEVE the premise was "parent trap" and that it ACTUALLY WORKED. it seemed too easy. i spent the boat ride back waiting for the other shoe

mom has big mary winchester energy bc of her power over her husband

also, wish fulfilment game. not because you get your parents back together but because your dad apologizes

nyx/persephone/hades polycule? nyx and persephone seem like they're in lesbians. please fucking nobody tell me if they're sisters or something

hard to believe there is yet MORE GAME AHEAD. it's a little frustrating bc after 65 runs, i'm not totally played out but i am getting close

enabled god mode bc i've earned the rest the hard way. did my fastest run ever at just 30 minutes. however, i am disappointed that i won't ever get to go up to the cabin again...

found out via guides you could have also romanced meg or dusa and that dusa is the ace character. she. doesn't have a body??? but go girl

finally figured out why i keep catching the same few fish (im slow) and now im doing it better

i feel like i never have enough resources...i'd have to do dozens of runs to buy every cosmetic and get my hearts maxed with every character. meanwhile, even though i'm showering them with gifts, i'm no closer to reuniting patroclus/achilles or eurydice/orpheus. like, i wanna unlock all there is to unlock, like skelly's prizes, and i wanna do all the story stuff, like the epilogue and figuring out who sent skelly and decorating and unlocking my songs but like...it's SUCH a timesink to do even a few of those things, so idk if i can do ALL of them. the game is really fun but i have officially hit 50 hours and also i think i'm giving myself carpal tunnel. even with god mode this would all take months and i have other stuff to do...!

lyre practice :(

[gravityandmomentum]

Spent 20 hours in the last few days grinding out Elden Ring so I could get a new character to the point where you can play the DLC so I can grind that out for 20 more hours.

Basically I went from the very start of Leyndell all the way to the Mohgwyn Dynasty in a very short amount of time, fastest 50 levels I ever got in one of these games.

[heystephen]

anon, im happy for you, here's my story

i had a really good chunk of money saved up. like a million in my currency. my husband got really sick and couldn't even work last year. we spent 4 months visiting over 50 different medical professionals to figure out what was wrong. paying out of pocket for everything because it was the fastest way to see these doctors (waiting lines were several months long) and it still took 4 months. so that chunk of money got spent in medical expenses. in those 4 months, i only got 1 paycheck because of a number of reasons with my boss who was also not responding to any of my messages for whatever reason. suddenly we were broke. donations aren't an option because we don't have paypal here. my husband couldnt work due to the illness. i couldn't look for a second job or other clients because that's a full time job in itself in my field and i was spending a ton of time visiting the er or whatever doctor my husband was scheduled to see during the day. and it's not like we were wealthy enough before to sell something and keep going, we just managed to save up that amount from working and were intending to use that to move to a different country. i mean we had to figure out who would be getting their meds each month. we also weren't in a position where we could borrow money from friends or family because 1) we were the people others were borrowing money from because freelance work pays well for our country standards but it goes straight to a local bank account, 2) we didn't have a stable income anymore to be able to pay anyone back for the foreseeable future. it's been a year since then, i still dont have the missing money and have finally found time to look for another job because we moved to live with my husbands parents because we also couldn't afford rent anymore. i hope i find another job soon so we can move and not pay via mental health because that's what living with parents means these days. it's been 12 months of a rock and a hard place. things can turn bad really fast, and i hope no one ever faces situations like this.

I’m so sorry that things are and have been so terrible for you and your husband. Things can get so bad, so quickly, and people fail to realize that they’re just a few bad days and unforeseen circumstances away from the kind of financial and living situations that they think they’re so above. I hope you find yourself in better circumstances soon.

[maybe-itll-be-someday]

Addiction

A/N: Hi friends! This is my first time posting anything related to Bones, but I’ve binged 12 seasons in less than a month and it has to come out somewhere, so here it is!

Read on AO3

--

A character study of Seeley Booth that ties in the Pilot and The Parts in the Sum of the Whole.

--

He’s an addict. 

Addiction was etched in his genes, grown from the tang of bourbon that stained his father’s breath. His father was addicted to dark liquor, to swinging his hand against his mother’s cheek, to the crunch of his and Jared’s ribs underneath his knuckles. Bones talks relentlessly about statistics and certainties, of predicted outcomes based on probabilities. 

“Statistics allows you to validate claims based on quantitative evidence, Booth. It’s a crucial process in scientific expansion!”

The evidence of his life would all predict the same outcome - all the numbers and equations leading to the same conclusion. The remodeled fractures on his ribs that Bones had pointed out on his x-rays, the few and far between moments from his childhood that weren’t stained by a well-hidden bottle of whiskey and his father’s shadow looming behind him. The tally he keeps - 48, 49, 50 notches scratched on the back of a leather pocket notebook he carried in his gun case throughout his tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. The other tally of 19 names, all brothers, and their next of kin’s contact information. The remnants of a sharp, burning pain as the butt of a rifle smashed each of his toes individually, tones of the Tehrani accent heavy on his captor’s tongue. 

Blood drenched his fatigues, both of his comrades and his enemies. If Bones ever successfully convinced him to do an MRI, she would find traces of the bullets that inscribed his bones. She would point out where shrapnel entered his lower back in Shindhad after he shielded the green private whose lower legs were blown off by an IED during a routine patrol. The bullet that wedged itself too close to his lungs in Mosul after an explosives raid went sideways by an ambush. Many more injuries that he brushed off as flesh wounds, his pain always ebbed away by the adrenaline that flooded into his veins with every close brush with death.

A laundry list of scars and traumas - he drowns in nightmares and holy water, hoping that God will eventually grant him mercy from the panic and pain that the war had woven into him. The beads of his rosary leave imprints on his palms, his knees cracking from the hours spent on them, praying for the safe passage of fallen soldiers and avoiding thoughts of the Sixth Commandment. 

But the nightmares follow him, as do the screams, and he just wants it to stop.  

Booth tries to avoid the bottle - always limiting himself to two whiskey doubles or no more than four beers. He drinks to dull, not to forget, not like his father. Not like Jared, who’s been bound to the bottle since he took a swig from the whiskey wedged between empty boxes of laundry soap in their garage at the age of 13. He tries not to be resilient, tries not to drink except on certain days, but it quickly becomes too much. He wants to feel something, anything, that wasn’t the guilt, the shame, the sorrow. 

He placed his first bet in Iraq while his unit was on patrol. The burning desert sun beating on his back as enthusiasm for their next hot meal had grown into a bet on what food was being served at the mess that night. Booth had seen what shipments had come in two days before and was confident that the shipment of ground beef and tomato sauce would result in chili. Phillips, three years his senior and had a gnarly hook that caught him on the chin during training last week, slipped him a fistful of twenties and tens after dinner that night. 

He stuffed the cash in his foot locker and joined betting pools for other things - fifty bucks to the person who could disassemble and reassemble their firearm the fastest, twenty to whoever could guess what time the visiting Sergeant snuck into their Corporal’s private quarters. There were a group of specialists who were Rangers fans and he egged them on to bet 50 each on the Flyers winning 3-1. 

Booth racked in $800 that night. More money than he’d ever earned in a week. His pay was shit, not nearly enough to take off the edge of all the hits he’s taken. Rebecca had called him earlier that day, tears thick in her voice when she said pregnant and father. He had just started his third tour. His deployment was 12 months and he was only three months in. She was alone in DC and he was in Baghdad. If he keeps winning, he can provide for her, for them. 

It has nothing to do with the feeling of winning, of the elation that God had twisted the tides in his favor. 

He gets an honorable discharge after he gets captured - he can’t keep up with the long distances, his once broken toes unable to stand being in his combat boots for hours. But he’s good with a gun and someone had taken notice. Some sargeant from the Rangers shows up at the hospital, telling him that with his abilities he could be a sniper. He could keep serving his country and didn’t need to end his career. There’s something about going back into war that makes his stomach curl and he says he’ll think about it. He gets sent back to the States and watches his son enter the world, loud yet so tiny and fragile and swears to protect him, to make the world a better place for him. 

Parker is three months old when he’s called in - one of the Ranger squads had lost someone and they needed help. National security, they said. For your country. He tells Rebecca that they should marry before he goes, that he wants Parker to have a complete family. 

“I’m so sorry, Seeley. I love you, I do, but I can’t do it.” 

They ask more from him. From surveillance to assassinating a member of the Shura council. His hand is steady when he flexes his finger over the trigger, delivering a clean bullet right between the eyes. A piercing wail fills the air. They chant his name, both a plea and a prayer. His stomach turns and he’s almost sick on his shoes, but he did it for Parker, for his country. They tell him he is a hero, the potential destruction that could have happened, but all he dreams of is the chant of a dead man’s name. 

But there are more members, more high ranking officers who are threats to their democracy, their freedom. Soon, he perfects it. The most accurate shot in their entire base, a moniker Booth wears with honor. To him, shooting is as easy as breathing, his rifle simply an extension of him. He adapts to the sweltering air, the arid climate, and learns how to ignore the sweat that beads on his eyebrow and drips onto his scope.

He feels that same rush, the flood of adrenaline, every time he hits a shot. Booth is good at what he does. He’s meticulous - he shifts his barrel based on the slope of the terrain beneath them, listens to the wind and does a rough estimate of his bullet’s trajectory as he aims downsight. He can read the differences in rooms full of high-ranking officials and rooms full of insurgents with AK-47s slung across their backs. He makes observations and adjusts accordingly, takes smart shots, misses only a handful. 

He counts his shots and tallies the lives he takes. By the 20th life, he feels something shift. By the 30th, he’s two years into being a Ranger and six months being a sergeant. He leads his own men, his own unit. By the 50th life, he’s lost too many men, too much blood is dripping from his fatigues and he can’t stand it anymore. He goes to the chapel when he can, whispers scared confessions into Aldo’s ear, and he’s not surprised when Aldo tells him one afternoon that God is a bastard. 

Suddenly, the sweltering desert air starts to suffocate him. There’s too much death, too much destruction around him and he feels like he’s losing himself. He’s trained not to sleep, to keep your guard up at every second of every day, but soon his nightmares start to chase away the little sleep he could have. At the end of his fourth tour, he doesn’t renew his contract. He flies back to DC, starts taking Parker on the weekends, and spends every moment between his time with his son trying to keep his demons at bay. 

In the idleness between his visits with Parker, the war comes back to haunt him. Nightmares of men he’s lost, brothers and friends, every life he’s seized before their time, every person he couldn’t save. Booth thinks of all the things he’s lost and wonders why God wouldn’t grant him a win. 

On a random Tuesday after three nights of recurring nightmares, he ends up on a Greyhound headed to Atlantic City. He bets $100 on a blackjack table and wins $2,300 in return when a King of Hearts is flipped up over his Ace. He takes it as a sign that God was finally making up for the shit hand he’s been dealt, and bets another $300. 

He’s only left with $500 at the end of the night, but it was still more than the $100 he had started with. He’s finally winning, gaining something instead of losing it. 

It quickly slips out of control. He keeps chasing it, keeps going for little tastes of victory among the hundreds of losses, and soon he can’t pay for rent. He owes so much money to his bookie after someone at the casino had told him about sports betting and the Flyers were having a shit season. Rebecca never asks for child support but Parker gets sick with pneumonia and needs to go to the hospital after he contracts a secondary infection. He tells Pops that he needs help because Parker is sick and his old man gives him $500 in old bills that he had put aside for Parker’s college fund. 

The money gets sucked into horses because he read in the paper that Stardust hadn’t lost five races in a row and they could use a little more money. Stardust breaks a leg on the track, and he burns with shame when he tells Rebecca that he doesn’t have anything . Luckily, Parker improves, and Rebecca’s new lawyer boyfriend offers to help with the bills. He almost gets evicted because he’s two months late on rent, subsisting on feeble meals of boxed mac and cheese and grilled sandwiches, when God gives him grace. 

An old army buddy had told him that they were looking for agents at the FBI; it was a few months of training, but it was a steady paycheck. He throws himself into training at the Academy, has less time to gamble but when his evaluation to be a Special Agent comes around, he’s flagged during a background check. 

“Addicts will do anything to get their fix. It’s a breeding ground for corruption. We cannot have such individuals representing the Agency, Mr. Booth.” 

The psychologist assigned to him had told him that if he managed to get his gambling addiction under control, that he would be an excellent addition to the FBI. The elderly man pushed up his wire frame glasses up his liver-spotted nose as he gave Booth some resources on help for veterans and told him of the Gamblers Anonymous meetings that happened on Mondays and Thursdays in the basement of the Catholic church up the street. 

He attends his meetings and gets a sponsor. He talks in group therapy about the things he’s seen and he feels a little less alone when a few veterans in his group speak up. He acknowledges that he has a problem, that he’s an addict like his father. He pinches pennies and apologizes to the landlord for the late rent, trying to pay him at least once a week to make up for the last two months. Soon, his re-evaluation comes and he passes with flying colors.  

He slips once in a while - bets $50 on an upcoming Flyers game, bets $40 that he can beat a biker at pool, but he doesn’t let it run his life anymore. He focuses on being a good agent and a good father. Two years into being a Special Agent, Jocelyn Arrington comes calling, pleading for help. She reminds him of a mother of one of his men lost in a rescue mission gone south named Paul Adams. She had collapsed into his arms, much like Jocelyn did, when they released Paul’s remains to her after he was executed by insurgents. Another bereaved mother pleads for help and he’s not about to deny her the closure so few people got. 

But the case is bare bones, only a few scraps of evidence and split jurisdictions led only to dead end after dead end. He confides in Camille, the now Chief Coroner of New York that he had gotten into a friends with benefits type of relationship during his first few cases as a special agent, and she suggests that he looks at Gemma Arrington from a different perspective. 

She tells him of a forensic anthropologist, one of the best, that had solved a 400 year old murder. He’s skeptical of the use of forensics because knowing your suspect is more important but the only leads he had led him nowhere. He figures that it’s worth a shot. 

Camille had said that a Dr. Temperance Brennan was teaching An Alternative Approach to Traditional Bone Cleaning Methods for Forensic Practice in a series of lectures this week at American University. Booth imagines a stuffy old academic, dressed in clothes mostly made of wool and smelled of old books. He imagines someone in their early 50s to late 60s at most, to garner the high regard that the Chief Coroner of New York held for the scientist. 

Instead, he walks into the lecture hall and is met with a woman who is probably a few years his junior, commanding the room with such rapport and attention. She speaks with certainty, as if dictating pre-written information from an invisible book in front of her, and every single person has their attention solely on her. 

He’s not surprised when she steals his attention, too. There’s something in her blue eyes that he’s drawn to, like there was a story between them that’s waiting to be written. He wants to know if she feels it too. 

“Do you believe in fate?” He asks her. 

“Absolutely not. Ludicrous.” 

She doesn’t believe in fate, but he can’t help but think that this is what it feels like. 

She says that she’s the best, but he needs his own evidence, his own proof. He never goes into a situation without reading it himself - a skill that’s kept him alive for years while serving overseas, won him many bluffs on a poker table. 

That, and old habits are hard to break. He felt like taking a risk on her. 

He realizes that she is, in fact, the best when she lists out Gemma Arrington’s life with the same certainty she had at her lecture. She knows of the move from Alabama, the car wreck that killed her father in 1996, that she sang without even knowing the existence of the tape loaded in the briefing room. She was arrogant with her intelligence, often using words that had Booth wishing he still had his old dictionary from his hot English teacher. 

The arrogance was well-deserved. She slots evidence into a timeline, identifies the murder weapon and a potential exit path. He thought he knew what smart people looked like, what they sounded and thought like, but Bones was in a whole different league. 

Temperance Brennan was brilliant.

Blindingly, absolutely brilliant. She has a brilliant idea, something about showing individuality and he thinks about the drawer of socks he can’t wear at the FBI. She asks him a brilliant question; why shouldn’t they be allowed to go on a date? He almost lies to her, wants to sidestep that rule about fraternizing with other agencies, but he plays the good agent and her response is as brilliant as she was: 

“That’s too bad.” 

She was exceptional - had an exceptional left hook that she used to sock a federal judge. It’s awesome and hot and exceptional like she is. He tells her as much and can’t stop the smile that curves his lips at the color that floods her cheeks. 

She has an exceptional tolerance for alcohol when he takes her drinking because he wants to soften to blow when he tells her she can’t work the case anymore. They drink, and they drink some more, and soon a soft, steady haze of alcohol blankets him. He can’t stop staring, can’t believe that a woman like her can drink shitty tequila like a sailor. She has an exceptional idea, that they should have sex because they’re not working together and Booth wonders if he’s ever going to stop being blown away by her. 

He feels his adrenaline surge when she slaps a few crumpled bills on the table and tugs on his sleeve towards the door. Booth stops her, wants to tell her his deepest darkest secret because he has a feeling that they were barrelling towards something he did not want to screw up. 

He knew it would be as brilliant, as exceptional, as amazing as she was. 

And he was right. It might have been the tequila, but he swears he gets more drunk on her. The soft warmth of her lips, the slide of her tongue against him, makes him dizzy. He feels something inside him slide into place and feels empty when she pulls away and tells him that they won’t be sleeping together. Booth wants to chase that feeling, those 15 seconds when her lips are on his. He wants to have it over, and over, and over again. 

He’ll never get enough. 

---

It all falls apart, too soon after. The judge is bulletproof and Bones doesn’t understand that powerful people get away with terrible things all the time. They fight and he is on the receiving end of only a taste of what she gave to the judge and he grows resentful of her - her fancy words, her seemingly endless knowledge of everything. 

She’s brilliant and he’s not. 

Temperance Brennan walks out of his life and is determined to keep him out of hers. In the year between Gemma Arrington and Clio Eller, he thinks of that moment in front of the poolhouse more times than he’ll ever admit. He can smell the supple scent of antiseptic mixed with fresh rain. He can feel the warm hand that anchors on the back of his neck pushing him closer to her in the same urgency he felt. 

He thinks of the slender angle of her jaw, the waft of warm breath and tequila, of brilliant blue eyes, and feels an itch, an urge. 

Then reaches for his phone, wondering if his buddy in the TSA was willing to do him a small favor. 

---

They slowly become friends, partners. They dance on this fine line, between friends and something more than friends. Maybe he’s a little too protective of her, following her around on crime scenes and always urging her to stay back, to stand behind him even if he’s seen her take down suspects bigger and burlier than she was. Maybe she’s a little too attached to him, wandering hands that catch on his elbows, his forearm, his knee. She tells him things he suspects she’s never told anyone before, her well-earned trust handed to him in a file folder that contained the details of her parents’ disappearance. 

They still argue and bicker, one of them always insisting that their viewpoint was the superior one when more often than not they found their answer in compromise. Bones lived by the laws governed by science and logic, while he relied on faith and feeling to guide him. 

She teaches him how to be more rational, to take the facts before him and use it to their advantage. He teaches her to trust in him, in other people - that she could be vulnerable and understand the human portion of her that she tries to bury under anthropological facts and history. 

They share bottles of beer and glasses of whiskey, barely dodge bullets, bombs, and close brushes with their death. He hops on the first plane to Louisiana when she wakes up bruised and battered with no recollection of the last 24 hours. He threatens, holds guns to people who would dare and try to hurt her. He holds her when her mother’s bones turn up, when she tells him that she doesn’t know who she is anymore.

But he knows who she is.

She was the one who always hovered in his periphery, the slant of her smile and the furrow of her brow something he could draw from memory, if he ever learned how to draw. He knew her Thai takeout order, the kind of whiskey she enjoyed, the burden of rationality she carries around in every aspect of her life. He knew that she was scared of being left behind again, so he always tells her that he’s not leaving, that she could always count on him. 

She was his partner. 

She was the unspoken reason as to why all his relationships were just meaningless reruns of women it never worked out with. She was the standard he held them all to, even if he would never admit it, especially to the new psychologist who looks like he’s barely out of high school. 

He knows who she is. 

--

He chases her, through war and ghosts and snakes and serial killers. 

He chases those 15 seconds she gave him in front of the poolhouse almost five years ago now, chasing it in the subtle upturn of her lips when he presents her with Jasper for the first time. He chases the way her eyes sparkle when she sings on the stage they set up for her, chases the feeling of her hand in his when the world starts to fade as a bullet he takes for her lodges into his chest. He chases the flip of his stomach when he finds her on the sidelines of his hockey game, a red beanie pulled tightly over her ears when she waves at him. 

Booth can’t stop himself, can’t stop the itch, the urge, that overwhelms him when she’s not near. An itch that had almost torn up his insides when she mentions that Sully wanted to take her away from him for an entire year and the relief of it when she decides to stay, to be rational, to keep doing their jobs because they’re amazing partners. He can’t stop the urge to shove the barrel of his gun down the mouth of any person who threatens her, or the urge to never give up on her because she wouldn’t give up on him. 

He can’t stop himself when Sweets tells him to use his addiction, his problem, to break the stalemate. He’s thought about it over the years, made and replayed scenarios in his head on what it would be like to finally cross that fine line they’ve been dancing on all these years. But he’s a good agent, one who follows the rules, and they always said that there would be no fraternizing with consultants or other agencies. He decides to screw it all because they were on the brink of something, of the unwritten story he saw in her eyes when they first met. 

It was going to be brilliant, exceptional, and amazing.

He tells her that he’s a gambler, unashamed in the fact that he’s an addict. He wants to take a chance on this, on her, on them .

But she pushes him away, tells him that he needs protecting. He hands her his heart and she crumbles it into little pieces in front of him. She doesn’t know how to make them work, doesn’t know how to risk the status quo for the potential. She didn't know how to take the less-traveled route, to bet on something out of her control.

“I’m a scientist. I can’t change. I don’t know how.” 

Booth had forgotten that gambling always came with risks. He forgot that you came down from the adrenaline you get when you place a bet, that reality always had the odds tilted against him. 

“Can we still work together?” She asks, after breaking the heart he’s offered to her. He glances at her, watching the tears that carve pathways into her cheeks and doesn’t fight the urge when he says yes. 

He’s an addict. 

And now, she is his only vice. 

--

[nboob]

i was sobbing so loud i think the case manager could probably hear me across the hall and my therapist told me i need to find just one thing to keep me strong for the rest of this week and then she canceled her staff retreat to meet with me next wednesday. she asks me if theres a history of alcoholism in my family at the end of our 50 minutes and i rofl my fastest copter out of there with a big XD. i spent my session trying to explain to her that yearning activates my gag reflex, that it doesnt feel like depression because everything im soy about is true, and that ive seen this play out before. then when i leave i log online and type out in chat that theres an extreme lack of bpd in my discord server  the fact that weve collected 20+ online poongays and only like 1.5 of them have bpd is some sort of natural anomaly... stop treating me like IM crazy when YOU GUYS are the outlier cuz bpd and transexualism go together like… Um well you get the picture

the worst thing ive done out of unrequited love i was probably around 15, when i developed this online relationship with a guy who would send me pictures of him digging his finger into his eye or his cut up face and shit, like joker shit... our relationship pretty much was built on a basis of just fucking being terrible to one another in ways that i wasted at least a couple hundred thousand hours on in high school. like he had this private vent account on instagram that i would stalk because hed change the bio intermittently to different messages for me in morse code that id have to manually translate with like, morsecodetranslator.com dot com, and wed just communicate like that when hed block me. anyway he broke up with me just before i turned 17 after maybe two years of developing this tumblr #yancore #actuallyobsessive relationship of fantasizing about killing each other. i took it really fucking hard so i cut his entire legal name into myself and then sent it to him after making a callout post on kinstagram, and then i took a couple handfuls of SSRIs in a desperate attempt for attention i mean suicide and spent a night throwing up foam into a bathroom sink and groaning

i mean nothing really came out of that and in my opinion its not a novel outcome of an e-kindating t4t relationship with some guy with DID from portland no less, albeit a mental decision, but like nine months later he sent me a DM on discord and it was his littlespace alter of honey from ouran high school host club being like Haii XDD do you remember me? I know you’re not talking to NAME REDACTED but I would really like to talk... and i answered him but it was, like, the wrong answer. i dont think hes ever going to reach out to me again and its whatever, hes engaged to some trog that he cosplayed stridercest with in middle school now and it at least forced me to start learning the gentle art of not responding 

i spent the last four years on a spiral staircase until the enormity of my desire started to disgust me. i dont think about my past relationships much but i spend a lot of time now thinking about what i should or should not say to you. yearning activates my siken complex and i almost always opt for silence, always kind of feel like too much and thats because i historically have been, but damn itd be nice to just give someone everything in some universe where i have some semblance of respect for myself. not circumstances where youre integrating yourself so deeply into the other person that the amount of self hatred you have inside of you becomes easier to carry when its directed at them. because like, the worst things ive done have been in love that’s requited and that makes it scary to start caring, right? now id have to describe my love language as a secret sixth thing that i dont feel comfortable succumbing myself or others to anymore, like a zit you have too deep in the skin to pop but hurts REALLY FUCKING BAD and seems like its never leaving. You gotta doctor pimple popper that shit with some Tito’s or like some pentobarbital

[talenlee]

CoX: Poisonberry

This is an explanatory writeup of one of my Original Characters (OCs). Nothing here is necessarily related to a meaningful fiction you should recognise and is shared because I think my OCs are cool and it’s cool to talk about OCs you make.

She goes by Risty, and her surname, well, you’re not going to find it on her ID, because you don’t get to see her ID, because what are you, a cop? But she’s got a hero identity – Poisonberry – that she carries over from her runaway days, a name you’ll see tagged on New England underpasses.

Girl’s a metronome, wildly swinging from withdrawn, sullen and snarling, to cocky, arrogant, and ten thousand percent. She may not think of herself as a superheroine, but she does know she’s sure as hell super.

Poisonberry is a mutant with ‘plant powers.’ The actual specific mechanisms of how her powers work would be great to study, but that would require studying her and that would involve getting her into some kind of lab or school, a thing that Risty seems aggressively against.

What Poisonberry can do and what everyone around her notices is the sprawling, rolling, constant vines around her and the toxic cloud of spores and vapor that trails her. She can fling poison from her hands, jetting it into enemies, and even uses the vines to construct an elaborate flying mechanism, like wings or a helicopter to fly.

As a person, she’s socially antisocial. Poisonberry wants to be surrounded by people, she wants to be around people, but she doesn’t want them to necessarily engage her. She moves around with crowds and hangs around but if ever asked to socially engage, she struggles and resents it – surly and snarling about how stupid some things are but still she shows up to see them.

Her biggest limitations are her poor teamwork skills. Risty is inclined to abandon things rather than work at them, and she doesn’t trust cops, or anyone she thinks likes cops. This is obviously a problem dealing with any kind of conventional, established superhero group, who will almost certainly not hate or resent the police.

Mechanical Details

Poisonberry is a Nature Affinity/Water Blast Defender. She’s level 50, she’s done a bunch of incarnate levelling solo, and she has a build that uh, well, look, it’ll show up in the bulleted list of standard stuff. She has:

Capped smashing and lethal resistance at 75%

54% fire and cold resistance

44%resistance to energy damage

67% resistance to negative energy damage

50% of her health as regular absorb

Very little defenses

Around 100% bonus damage, 92% of which is an AOE buff

85% global endurance reduction

… 200% global recharge

I know! I know I know I know. That’s not with her incarnate Destiny power, either – she’s got a resting heartbeat of 200% global recharge, meaning that in the context of recharge she’s one of my fastest characters. Her Hasten has a recharge window of 30 seconds. She recharges Hasten so quickly, she can fire it off, change zones, fire it off again and the new hasten stacks, then move re-zone and get a third hasten stack. With this trick and Ageless fired she can hit the recharge cap.

That’s really silly.

The whole reason for this is because I wanted to have a character who could have Overgrowth on permanently. Overgrowth is a really powerful move. It’s an AOE buff that grants everyone (including Berry) 82% global damage buff, +20% tohit, and 75% endurance reduction. That’s absurd – like, the endurance reduction available to the Cardiac buff is only about 33% and it’s so good that once I have it I tend to never care about endurance reduction any more.

I did the math and found that you can get Overgrowth permanent with a high enough total recharge. To that end I pushed her build and spent the money to get her Overgrowth with five seconds of overlap.

Right now, can’t get build exports working, so poke me for it if you want to look at it directly.

History

There is so little here. Poisonberry is an unfortunate confluence of events that I am maddened by.

Mechanically speaking, Poisonberry is an amazing support character. She can add a lot to a large group of characters. She can make low level characters’ endurance problems go away. She can take lowbies on her high level missions and make their experience really good, and they can speed up her missions. She is a support platform. In the context of the game, her capacity seems, to me, absurd.

And I have never seen it in action.

I cannot think of a time I have ever taken Poisonberry on a large team. She’s never roleplayed with anyone. She has been on an Imperius Task Force and it was a rocket ride through but of course, it was also a point where everyone around me was also armed to the gills so it was hard to notice what she was good at doing.

This is an example of a thing I can do that is a bit of a problem: I can get hung up on an idea and then flesh that idea out enough that the result is a very solidly defined, clearly outlined nugget of a character that then has nowhere specific to go. She’s a mutant, she’s a runaway, she’s not a joiner, but what does that even mean?

There’s no background here. I know that she’s a bit of a brawly goon, I know she’s a punk. I don’t know her friends, I don’t know if her powers relate to her relationship to people’s bodies. Is she Poison Ivy? Is she Rogue? What’s my reference frame for this character? But all I have is the backwards of her – the mechanical capacity to generate a huge buff for a large group and nothing to actually make that happen or give people roleplay hooks to play with her.

Curse me and my back-assward character building!

Also, her name? I love her name so much but I wonder if it’s just too cute. Like for me, Boysenberry is the flavour you only hear associated with a type of ice cream, but it’s really good. It’s sweet and it’s tart, and it’s really something I like. It’s a sharp flavour, but you have to get used to it. Look, it was an idea I was so proud of.

I also don’t know why her name is Risty. I think I was literally looking for nonstandard names, names that still showed up in like babyname books that didn’t have an obvious derivation I could work from.

Think about who your OCs want to connect to! Don’t wind up like this!

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[clickvibes]

SZA Performs Exclusive Apple Music Live Show from Brooklyn

Stream the performance in full on Apple Music and Apple TV+ on Wednesday, December 13  Grammy-award-winning music trendsetter and icon SZA is the next artist to take the stage for Apple Music Live — the live performance series that gives the biggest stars in music a platform to connect with audiences around the world. The "S.O.S. Tour" marks SZA’s first-ever arena tour and earned the superstar endless praise. The Apple Music Live performance at the Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn, New York will debut Wednesday, December 13th at 7:00pm PST / 10:00pm EST exclusively on Apple Music at http://apple.co/SZA-AML and Apple TV+. Fans can also stream the Apple Music Live performance anytime on demand on both Apple Music and Apple TV+.During the performance, SZA showcases her biggest hits and fan favorites including, “Kill Bill”, “Snooze”, “Seek & Destroy”, and “Nobody Gets Me”, plus selections from the critically acclaimed Ctrl: “Drew Barrymore”, “Broken Clocks”, “Love Galore” and more.In an extensive career spanning conversation airing tomorrow on Apple Music 1, SZA sits down with Zane Lowe to reflect on the Apple Music Live performance and her record-breaking year, telling Zane: “I love connecting with people in the crowd when I feel like it's really me and you right now. And I go eye to eye with so many people during this show, and it's something about tour that it makes the love real, and tangible.” During the candid conversation, SZA also touches on navigating fame, her spiritual hygiene, overcoming anxiety, taking creative risks, and more. Tune in to the full interview on Tuesday, Dec. 12 at 10am PT on Apple Music 1 at http://apple.co/_Zane.“SZA is one the most streamed artists of 2023 with only her second full length album, so we are elated to have her S.O.S Tour be apart of our 2023 season of Apple Music Live,” said Apple Music’s Global Head of Hip Hop and R&B Ebro Darden. “The show is, of course, incredible just like her music, her songwriting and her desire to give us, the fans, so much amazing content this year. Thank You SZA!”Over the past year, streams for SZA's music has nearly quadrupled on Apple Music worldwide increasing 280% as she smashed a number of all-time records with her sophomore album SOS. Upon the release of the album, SZA broke the record for the R&B artist with the most simultaneous entries on the Global Daily Top 100, with 26 songs reaching the chart in one day. Breakout single, ”Kill Bill" spent 28 days at No. 1 on the Global Daily Top 100, her longest run at No. 1 in the chart's history. All told the song reached No. 1 in 37 countries worldwide. Additionally, "Kill Bill" finished at No. 3 on Apple Music's Top 100 2023: Global chart. With single "Snooze" at No. 5, she became the first R&B artist in the year-end chart history to have two songs in the top five of the year-end global songs chart. SOS was the second biggest album of 2023 on Apple Music worldwide, and the No. 1 R&B album of the year. Over the past two years, “SZA Essentials” has been one of the fastest-growing R&B playlists on Apple Music, with a 203% increase in streams worldwide. SZA has launched 12 songs to the top 10 of Apple Music's Global Daily Top 100. She is among the top 50 artists of all time on Apple Music worldwide. The second season of Apple Music Live kicked off this past May with a special performance by Ed Sheeran, which was followed by Burna Boy’s historic London Stadium show from earlier this summer and Dominic Fike gave an electrifying show in Atlanta. Brent Faiyaz serenaded a packed house in London and most recently Peso Pluma brought his música mexicana sound to Anaheim complete with his full live band. Additional Apple Music Live standout performances have included Harry Styles’s One Night Only in New York performance, Billie Eilish’s Live at the O2 performance; Alicia Keys’s first-ever Holiday Masquerade Ball; and riveting performances from chart-topping artists Lil Durk, Mary J. Blige, Luke Combs, and Wizkid. Explore the full lineup of past performances in the Apple Music Live archive. Get exclusive wallpapers for your phone on SZA's concert page in Shazam. Tap “Save" to unlock the Apple Music Live setlist, tour photos, and more after the show.About SZA:  Born in St. Louis and raised in Maplewood, NJ, genre-defying, and GRAMMY Award winning recording artist SZA released her long-awaited sophomore album SOS (Top Dawg Entertainment/RCA Records) on December 9, 2022, which earned RIAA Gold certification upon release. Instantly and universally met with acclaim, SOS debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 and has remained in the top spot for ten non-consecutive weeks. Amassing over 400 million streams in the US during release week, SOS became SZA’s first No. 1 on the Billboard 200 (the second largest streaming week for a female artist and third largest of 2022 among all albums at the time), and dominated worldwide charts with No. 1 debuts in Canada, Netherlands, New Zealand, and more.  While SOS also debuted at No. 1 on Billboard’s Top R&B Albums and Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums charts, several tracks dominated song charts and playlists across digital service providers, with standout track “Kill Bill” earning SZA her first No. 1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and Global 200 charts. Currently RIAA-certified 3x Platinum, SOS includes features by Travis Scott, Don Toliver, Phoebe Bridgers and Ol’ Dirty Bastard; with production by Ctrl hitmaking collaborators ThankGod4Cody and Carter Lang, alongside Jeff Bhasker, Rob Bisel, Benny Blanco, Kenny “Babyface'' Edmonds, Emile Haynie, Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins, Jay Versace, and more.The launch of SOS fostered a series of new achievements for the dynamic global icon.  SZA peaked at No. 1 on the Billboard Artist 100 chart as the most popular artist across all musical genres, and No. 1 on the Hot 100 Songwriters chart. SOS broke the record for the most weeks at No. 1 by a woman on Billboard’s Top R&B/Hip Hop Albums chart, and the first R&B album to spend ten non-consecutive weeks at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 this century. SOS yielded four No. 1 hits at both Rhythm and Urban Mainstream radio - “Snooze,” “Kill Bill,” “Shirt,” and “I Hate U.”  SZA closes out 2023 as the most Grammy nominated artist of the year with a total of nine, including Record of the Year and Song of the Year for “Kill Bill,” Album of the Year and Best Progressive R&B Album for SOS, Best R&B Song for “Snooze,” and more. A multitude of critical praise complemented the remarkable success of SOS, inclusive of ranking No. 1 on several best-of lists in 2022 and 2023. Variety described the album as “cinematic in its scope and tone as it ripples with elements of folk, jazz, pop and ambient electronica and brings in undertones of even surf, trap, grunge and AOR rock,” while the Associated Press proclaimed “SZA proves in ‘SOS’ she still a voice of this generation.” Her first ever arena tour in the US and overseas sold out in minutes and garnered similar rave reviews. The New York Times called her Madison Square Garden headlining debut “vigorous, confident, theatrical and intimate – the sort of show that manages the rare trick of feeling both vibrantly communicative and also protectively insular,” while Billboard declared that the performance “delivered a message that she’s truly made a next-level step in her career.” In 2017, SZA released her major label debut album Ctrl (TDE/RCA). Revered for its raw and honest lyrics, it landed at No. 1 on Billboard’s R&B Albums chart, No. 2 on the R&B/Hip Hop Albums chart and No. 3 on the Billboard 200 chart. RIAA-certified 3x Platinum, the albumreceived five Grammy nominations in 2018 and more than half the songs on Ctrl are currently certified multi-Platinum and Gold. Ctrl continues to remain on the Billboard 200 chart since its release and holds the record for the longest run for any Black female artist’s debut album. An Academy Awards nominee, SZA has won 27 awards since the release of Ctrl including a 2022 GRAMMY Award for Best Pop Dou/Group Performance for “Kiss Me More” with Doja Cat, Billboard Music Awards’ Top R&B Female Artist, BET Awards’ Best New Artist, BET Soul Train Awards’ Best R&B/Soul Female Artist and Best New Artist, MTV Video Music Awards’ Best Visual Effects for the “All The Stars” with Kendrick Lamar, and NAACP Image Awards’ Outstanding New Artist, among others. In 2018, she won NAACP Image Awards’ Outstanding Duo or Group for “All The Stars” with Kendrick Lamar and Outstanding Soundtrack/Compilation for the Black Panther Soundtrack. SZA also received Billboard’s 2019 Women in Music Rule Breaker award and more recently named Billboard’s 2023 Woman of the Year, Webby Awards Artist of the Year, WSJ. Magazine’s Music Innovator of the Year and Variety’s Hitmaker of the Year.  To this day, SZA continues to set the standard on creativity and songwriting, while shattering records with over 10 billion streams worldwide across all platformsAbout Apple MusicApple loves music. Apple revolutionized the music experience with iPod and iTunes. Today, the award-winning Apple Music celebrates musicians, songwriters, producers, and fans with a catalog of over 100 million songs, expertly curated playlists, and the best artist interviews, conversations, and global premieres with Apple Music Radio. With original content from the most respected and beloved people in music, autoplay, time-synced lyrics, lossless audio, and immersive sound powered by Spatial Audio with Dolby Atmos, Apple Music offers the world’s best listening experience, helping listeners discover new music and enjoy their favorites while empowering the global artist community. Apple Music is available in over 167 countries and regions on iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, Mac, Apple Watch, Apple TV, HomePod mini, CarPlay, and online at music.apple.com, plus popular smart speakers, smart TVs, and Android and Windows devices. Apple Music is ad-free and never shares consumer data with third parties. More information is available at apple.com/apple-music. Read the full article

[fiveholesinthefence]

fastest 50 dollars that i ever spent

[aquilafitness]

UNCATEGORIZED WAY LEADS ON TO WAY

How did I get here?  I never set out to become a powerlifter.  In fact, Justin asked me a decade ago if I just wanted to get big and lift a lot of weight.  And I said (somewhat petulantly), “No.”

I mean, I had come to the gym in 2009 after a life upheaval, 50-pound weight loss, and 4 marathons, in order to become a stronger runner.  And I did.  I ran my fastest marathon (3:40:12) 6 months after I joined the gym.

Nagging tendon pain dogged my training. A couple of years later each night’s sleep was interrupted with spinal pain.  I kept showing up. I kept trying. I kept learning. But pain was ever-present. This started me on the road to rheumatology where I was eventually diagnosed with seronegative spondyloarthropathy.  It’s a mouthful, but all it means is that I have autoimmune inflammation in my spine and other places in my body.  The perverse blessing of this disorder is that the only time I feel good is when I am moving.  The worst part of my day is waking up and attempting to leave my bed.  The best part is a few hours later after I have finished the 6am class.

I didn’t want to enter my 50’s sick and overweight.  So, I tried every single diet possible (my personal least favorite was the paleo/autoimmune/fodmap free diet).  I spent thousands on supplements, bodywork, braces/wraps/contraptions.  Slowly, with the help of my doctors, big pharma, the vast information resources of the internet, the Aquila community and my own unwillingness to give up, I moved forward.

All the while I lifted with the classes at the gym.

I like the math and the focus of lifting.  It forces me into my body and to pay attention to the way everything moves, even when it hurts.  It teaches me how to orient my body.  And it makes me stronger.  Eventually, Josh and Aimee encouraged me to go to a deadlift meet with them.  So, I made my debut as a competitive lifter, and I took 3rd place.

My elder daughter says that my superpower is “We are doing this now.”  Something happens in my life that suggests a direction, and I do it.  Relentlessly.  I do not know where this comes from.  I just know that when I am in the grip of it, there is nothing else to do except follow these 3 principles:

Acknowledge weaknesses; lean-in to strengths

Pursue habits.  The goals will find themselves.

Align #1 and #2 with your essential nature. (Know thyself)

I wanted so much to turn my 3 principles into a South Park/Underpants Gnomes joke, but I failed.  So, I’ll add a fourth principle:  Laugh. Every. F#@kin’. Day. (shout out to MJ who is my inspiration in this and so many other ways!)

Since that first meet, I have completed 4 more (2 with the invaluable support of Aimee M), lost ten pounds to go down a weight class, and climbed up the rankings on openpowerlifting.com (current stats:  Sq. 231#, Bench 143.5#, DL 330# TOTAL 704#).  In the midst of this I became the advisor to the newly created Iron Cougars Powerlifting Club at John F. Kennedy High School.  Later this year I will compete at the IPL International Championships in Eugene, Oregon.  

Along the way, the Aquila community has been an invaluable source of support, knowledge, and wholesome, badass vibes.  Every time I walk in the door, I am at home.  Justin and Travis’ professionalism and enthusiasm, and the community’s warmth and encouragement have given me the ideal place to train for the road ahead.

And that has made all the difference.

[dimetros]

Russia’s war on the cheap

Just like that we've made it to Friday. Phil Rosen here, writing to you just blocks away from the Federal Reserve building in Manhattan. 

This week we've gotten the biggest indication yet that central bankers may just pass on a rate hike at this month's meeting, and futures markets have all pulled back bets on a June move.

Philly Fed President Patrick Harker said Wednesday that policy is about as tight as it's going to get, but held back on saying whether it's peaked or not. 

"I am in a camp increasingly coming into this meeting of thinking that we really should skip, not pause," he said in a speech in Washington.

The May jobs report is also due later this morning. Before that, we're doing a deep-dive into Russia's economy.

Sign up here to receive Insider’s full 10 Things Before the Opening Bell newsletter — directly in your inbox.

And hear more from Insider's market experts by joining our LinkedIn group.

1. Russia's invasion of Ukraine has incurred a steep human and geopolitical cost. Tens of thousands of people have died, and the Western world has isolated Russia through sanctions and trade boycotts. 

Yet, a new analysis from The Economist shows that the fiscal burden on Moscow has been surprisingly low. 

Direct war spending, according to the report, is estimated to be about 3% of Russia's GDP, or about $67 billion a year. That figure comes from a comparison of the country's pre-invasion forecasts for defense spending and actual spending.

By historical standards, that's very low. 

During World War II, the Soviet Union, for example, spent about 61% of GDP on combat efforts. The US put about 50% of its GDP toward war near the same time.

Naturally, there's a political angle here — Moscow officials insist on calling this a "special military operation." That makes it hard to justify spending a lofty percentage of GDP on what is not a war, in their view.

But there are economic reasons too. Printing more cash for the war would push inflation up and bring pain to citizens in the form of higher cost of living. 

Not only that, but saddling banks with war debt could have a similar impact, and inflationary moves could in turn harm Vladimir Putin's political aims.

Technology, too, plays a role. It's more advanced than ever, so militaries require fewer machines and people than ever.

All this isn't to say Russia's economy hasn't been hamstrung. The state's own economic figures showed a sharp 5% drop in industrial production for April compared to the month prior.

That coincides with a historic labor shortage that's been a drag on factories. 

A recent central bank survey found that the country has been short of able workers since a mass exodus that kicked off since the invasion, as well as war losses. 

All told, some estimates say about 1 million people have left Russia.

Are you surprised by the relatively low fiscal cost of Russia's war? Let us know in the comments.

In other news:

2. Goldman Sachs explained how to cash in on the $7 trillion AI explosion. Strategists shared a list of 15 buy-rated stocks that have exposure to a red-hot sector that looks like it's still gaining momentum. See the list.

3. US home prices just jumped for the second-consecutive month. That followed a 5% decline from June 2022 to January 2023. Here are the six cities where prices are rising the fastest.

5. Shares of C3.ai plunged by 20% on Thursday. Investor expectations were high for the buzzy tech firm, but its earnings outlook failed to live up to the AI hype. Before this week, the stock had climbed more than 250%.

This is a condensed version of Insider’s 10 Things Before the Opening Bell newsletter. To see items 6-10, sign up here to receive the full newsletter in your inbox.

This newsletter was curated by Phil Rosen.

[linuxgamenews]

RAILGRADE  train game and automation to run on Linux with Steam Play

RAILGRADE train game and factory automation to run flawlessly with Proton on Linux with Windows PC. Developer Minakata Dynamics is eager to unveil updated details for their coming release. Due to make its way onto Steam and GOG. There is a unique new game coming called RAILGRADE. Due to give players the chance to build complex production chains and grow cities with customizable trains. Similar to that of childhood train sets. So that players can rebuild the economy of an off-world colony that was mismanaged by the Nakatani Chemicals corporation. The game features over 60 story missions that are each between 30 to 120 minutes long. That means there's plenty of gameplay to delve into. Players have called RAILGRADE "addictive.: Whiled some Japanese players have even said it's a "Time Thief" because they can't stop playing it. Which is due to offer Linux players, flawless Proton support via Windows PC.

...I know and love Linux and am planning to make sure RAILGRADE runs flawlessly through Proton. That's not a full native port, but I don't think a native port would have any player meaningful improvements.

We received an email reply from Minakata Dynamics about their upcoming game, which is being developed using Unreal Engine 4. The good news is that the game will have solid Proton support on Linux. This means that Linux users will be able to play the game without any major issues. Although it's not a native port, the developer has a history of working on Linux. In fact, they seem very eager to make sure that the game is fully supported on the Linux via Proton. Which also carries over to Steam Deck.

RAILGRADE Announcement Trailer

One of the best things about RAILGRADE is that it's a very deep game. According to PlayTracker stats, players have spent an average of 14 hours playing the game. The fastest completion time for a speed run is 50 hours. While the longest is a whopping 320 hours. The folks working on RAILGRADE have some exciting features in store for the game. They're working on making the game playable on the Steam Deck handheld. They're also planning on giving you the ability to create your own maps using the map editor. This also allows players to upload directly to Steam Workshop. And finally, there is a sandbox mode that generates a brand new world for every new games. Prior updates included additional 10 hours of story gameplay and play style modifiers. Offering up a blend of both Factorio and Satisfactory, but in a train game. RAILGRADE train game and factory automation will release on Steam and GOG. With an MSRP price of $19.99 USD / £15.49 / 19,99€. But due to offer a launch discount that matches the deepest discount ever offered on existing store fronts. So be sure to Wishlist RAILGRADE.

[channelvewor]

Son of god and the passion of christ movie scenes

#SON OF GOD AND THE PASSION OF CHRIST MOVIE SCENES MOVIE#

#SON OF GOD AND THE PASSION OF CHRIST MOVIE SCENES SERIES#

#SON OF GOD AND THE PASSION OF CHRIST MOVIE SCENES TV#

“Having spent time with them on the set, my wife Victoria and I witnessed first-hand the deep and abiding passion they both possess for God¹s Word.”Īrchbishop Jose Gomez, Archbishop of Los Angeles, notes: “Each one of us is a son or daughter of God. Mark Burnett and Roma Downey have succeeded in doing what few before them have done: “Son of God” proves that when talent and passion collide, the outcome is spectacular,” said Joel Osteen, Senior Pastor of Lakewood Church and #1 bestselling author.

#SON OF GOD AND THE PASSION OF CHRIST MOVIE SCENES MOVIE#

Jakes says, “I believe the audience will be enthralled, encouraged and inspired by the movie “Son of God.” It is a joy to watch this film bring alive the pages of the Gospel to help us see what those who lived at the time of Jesus experienced.”īishop T.D. says, “I would recommend to individuals, and particularly to families, this wonderful story of the Son of God in order to be inspired all over again with the story of God’s love for us. SON OF GOD is not just a production worth watching it is a gift worth experiencing.”Ĭardinal Donald Wuerl, Archbishop of Washington, D.C. Sam Rodriguez, President of the Hispanics Evangelical Alliance says, “SON OF GOD fills the big screen with two catalytic elements: the passion of the cross and the purpose of the empty tomb, forgiveness and eternal life. I am thrilled that Twentieth Century Fox is distributing this film and I know it will be a blessing to millions when it opens all across America on February 28, 2014.” It is a powerful and poignant movie, the best Jesus movie I have ever seen. “Son of God” stands alone, in a class by itself. Pastor Rick Warren says, “I’ve seen most of the films about Jesus produced in the past 50 years. This movie has been publicly endorsed by the largest group of cross-denominational faith leaders of any project, bringing religious leaders together in support. “It’s impossible not to be moved by the love of Jesus as he walks into the lion’s den of Jerusalem to take on the power base, and save his people. “Son of God” presents a dramatic, gripping story,” says Roma Downey. Portuguese actor Diogo Morgado beautifully portrays the role of Jesus, as the film spans from His humble birth through His teachings, crucifixion and ultimate resurrection. SON OF GOD features powerful performances, exotic locales, dazzling visual effects and a rich orchestral score from Oscar®-winner Hans Zimmer. Jesus is presented as the lion and the lamb. The larger-than-life story of Jesus gets a larger-than-life treatment in this stand-alone feature with the scope and scale of a fast-paced action epic enveloped within gentle intimacy.

#SON OF GOD AND THE PASSION OF CHRIST MOVIE SCENES SERIES#

Angelou tweeted that the series “gives life to stories that have shaped our world and shaped my life.” The series was tweeted by a wide range of public figures, including Oprah, LL Cool J, Shakira, Sarah Fergusson, P Diddy, T.D. A huge hit in many countries, it mixed adventure, action and drama from and drew acclaim for retelling the sacred text in a way that was relevant to today’s audiences. The series became the number one cable entertainment telecast of the year, one of the fastest-selling TV-to-disc titles ever and went on to garner three Emmy Award nominations.

#SON OF GOD AND THE PASSION OF CHRIST MOVIE SCENES TV#

Producer-actress Roma Downey and Emmy winning producer Mark Burnett brought the epic miniseries The Bible to TV audiences around the world through their company LightWorkers Media. Audiences are moved to cheers, then tears, and then cheers again as the story unfolds. “Son of God” aims to gives audiences an epic experience of Jesus’ life through compelling cinematic storytelling that is gritty, dramatic, powerful and inspirational. “Son of God” is the first major picture in ten years that puts Jesus back on the big screen since Mel Gibson’s 2004 “The Passion of the Christ.”Īnd it’s almost fifty years since the entire story of Jesus’ life, in George Stevens’ 1965’s “The Greatest Story Ever Told,” has been experienced as a movie.

[endofthelinexx]

Roses and Flame | 4

Pairing: Female!Driver!Horner!Reader x Toto Wolff

TW: language, Christian Horner, slow burn, enemies to lovers, age gap, angst

AN: Hi y’all! sorry this chapter has taken me forever, i’ve been packing up for school and have been working. It’s a busy part of the year for me and i’d like to thank everyone for being patient! I’m way too excited for the upcoming chapters, probably more than you guys. Please comment if you want to join the taglist!!

Word Count: 2.1k

Mini Summary: Collins Horner is the eldest of Christian and Geri’s children. She has been raised to be the fastest female racer Motorsport has ever seen and to despise Mercedes while doing it. But what happens when her world turns upside down?

*No permission is given for reposting my work, copying it or parts of it, and claiming it as your own.

| chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5 | chapter 6 |

 You stood in your room, staring back at yourself in the mirror. You had gotten home that morning, and it was a day after the incident. You stood in your bra and shorts, your face turning red at the light mark on your collarbone. You were lucky you managed to snap back into your senses in time to pull away from him before it could’ve become much darker and much more noticeable. Your hair was damp from your shower, you thought it would make you feel better, but considering you can’t wash off a hickey your negative feelings returned the second you saw it in the mirror.

 You spent the previous night in Audrey’s hotel room trying to make it all make sense, it was out of nowhere, but what was really confusing to you was your feelings for him. You had never spoken positively of him and rarely did anyone you surrounded yourself with, of course, that wasn’t too shocking considering most of your friends that aren’t drivers are Red Bull fans. But, as much as you hated to admit it, you found him attractive; he’s tall, just as in shape as any of the guys your age if not more, wears collared shirts all the time, hell, he could speak like 500 languages, not to mention he still had all of his hair at 50. And then again, he was your father’s archnemesis and a principal of another team. It was like you were having an internal battle with yourself, you had no idea what to do and your indecisiveness was eating you alive.

 Sighing, you looked away from yourself in the mirror, moving to put some fresh clothes on, you wouldn’t let your mistakes from yesterday ruin today even though they were really making an effort to. You went downstairs and, looking out one of the windows, spotted a Mercedes parked in your driveway. Your breath got caught in your throat, immediately rushing outside, Rooster following right behind you.

Opening your mouth you began to speak as you rounded the corner, “you’ve really got some bal- oh, Lewis, hi..” You were immediately caught off guard when you saw the amazingly dressed man getting out of the car.

He turned and flashed a confused look which was followed by one of his bright smiles, “hey, we made plans to get lunch today, I’m here to pick you up?”

Your eyes widened as the memory of your conversation from the day before flooded back to you, “oh shit, I am so sorry, I forgot!”

Lewis let out a chuckle, “you’re totally fine.”

“Oh my gosh, well you’re welcome to come inside, I’m clearly going to have to change,” you gestured to your extremely casual outfit which was nowhere near the level of high fashion that was Lewis’ outfit. 

He responded to you with a nod and followed you back inside, looking around, “wow, this place is super cool, I love the vibe.”

“Thanks,” you smiled before gesturing to the kitchen, “feel free to help yourself to anything!”

“Okay, thank you,” he smiled back to you in return before you rushed upstairs to do light makeup and change into a nice outfit that covered up the evidence of the night before. After about 10 minutes you headed back down to find Lewis loving on your dog.

“What’s his name?” He asked when he noticed your presence.

“I named him Max, you know since he’s the fastest dog breed on the planet,” you teased, letting out a little laugh at your own joke.

Lewis rolled his eyes, “oh yeah, I’m sure your dad loved that, but seriously.”

You moved to sit down next to him, smiling, “his name is Rooster.” 

“How sweet, he’s very handsome, aren’t you?” He spoke in a baby voice when speaking to the dog which caught you off guard, causing you to laugh hysterically. Lewis smiled a little and looked over, “what?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the world’s coolest person, I mean 50% of videos with you in it are in slow motion while you walk.” You spoke between laughing.

He huffed to pretend to be dramatic, “cool people use baby voices too.” This statement made you laugh harder, causing him to begin to laugh with you. Your laughter was cut off by a firm knock on your door.

“Let me get that,” you breathed, trying to catch your breath from laughing as you got up to open the door. Turning the doorknob, you pulled it open to reveal your father who had an annoyed look on his face. “Um, hello?” You spoke up, slightly shocked to see him standing there.

“Who’s the Mercedes belong to because I’m pretty sure I’ve never noticed one of your friends driving one?” He questioned, causing Lewis to stand up and walk over.

“That would be mine sir, I came to pick up Collins for lunch,” he smiled as he stood behind you.

“Ah, I see. Although you’re the last person I’d ever expect to see hanging out on my property, seems as though my daughter is a traitor,” he joked lightly, though you were sure he probably firmly believed you were befriending the enemy.

You rolled your eyes, “don’t be dramatic, plus we’re about to be off your property, right Lewis?” He nodded as the two of you walked out the door.

“Hmm okay, well have fun!” He spoke as you both walked over to get in Lewis’ car.

Lewis drove you both into town, finding some street parking before walking you to lunch. It was a small French bistro right on the street with a big blue awning out front. A French flag hung in the window and you noticed the rustic interior as you both walked in. 

Of course, the hostess looked at you both with eyes wide like she had seen a ghost, “oh my goodness, table for two I assume?”

“Yes that’d be great,” You smiled, beginning to ask, “could we sit by a window perchance?”

“Oh of course Miss Horner, you both are welcome to sit wherever you like,” she nodded.

You laughed a little a pointed at a table by a window, “is there okay?”

“Yes, that’s perfect,” she grabbed both menus and led you to your table.

You both sat down, ordered drinks and your food, and began to talk about yesterday’s race. After quite a long and knowledgeable conversation your waitress brought your food, which you both thanked her for and began eating.

“I have a super weird question, well it’s not really that weird but coming from me it is,” you looked up at him from your food.

He looked back at you and raised an eyebrow. “Yes, Miss Horner?” He began to tease, stirring a kick out of you from underneath the table, causing him to laugh.

“I’m being serious,” you smiled and took a bite of your food.

“Go on then,” he nodded.

“How was Toto this morning?” You looked up, he went quiet and looked back at you for a second before speaking.

“Why do you ask?”

You were quiet for a second before speaking, “well he and my father got into a little bit of a tiff last night.”

“Ah, yes, I heard about that. Well, he seemed normal, but he was a lot quieter than usual, looked out the window a lot like he was deep in thought,” he said between bites.

“Oh, I see, my father was a little out of step last night, I think he had one too many drinks,” you sighed.

After your amazing lunch, Lewis dropped you back off at your house and you both said your goodbyes. When you went inside, you checked your phone and saw a text from your mom inviting you to dinner at their main house which of course you accepted. 6pm came quick and you headed up to your family home, meeting everyone else at the table. You all talked and ate an amazing dinner cooked by your mother, but you could tell something was off with your father. And you’d find out soon enough you realized while you helped your younger sister, Olivia, with the dishes. Your father walked back into the kitchen, your mother was already seated at the bar, talking to you both with Montague in her lap.

“So,” your father spoke up when your mom finished talking, “you went to lunch with Lewis clearly.”

‘Here we go,’ you couldn’t help but think before speaking. “Why yes I did, and I had a lot of fun, thanks for asking.”

“Fraternizing with the enemy, are you?” He questioned, causing you to quickly turn around in frustration.

“You know technically I’m fraternizing with the enemy right now considering you’re the principal of one of my competitors,” you snapped at him in response, “I’m really not in the mood to listen to you tell me who to make friends with, it’s not like I stole plans from your engineers to feed to him.”

“You might as well be,” he snapped back causing your mother to sigh.

“Would you both just stop it, you know she wouldn’t do anything like that, you know she has a right to make friends with whoever she pleases, it’s not like Lewis is some criminal. He’s nice and could be a great mentor to your daughter.” She pointed out, “befriending a 7-time world champion wouldn’t do her any harm, now leave it be.”

Your father was smart enough to drop it instead of dealing with the red-head woman’s wrath, she always hated it when you both would fight, and honestly, it happened a lot. After dinner, your father went to his office and you sat in the living room with your mother. A bottle of red wine that you both were sharing sat on the coffee table between you as you both sipped from your glasses.

“So, you never told me what happened last night at the event, I flew in just for it and I didn’t even get a hi from you,” she asked, her voice laced with curiosity.

Your mother was your best friend, you told each other everything and made you hope that she wouldn’t ask you this question just because you knew you couldn’t lie to her. You looked down at your glass before taking a big gulp of your wine.

“If I tell you what happened you have to promise you won’t tell dad,” you began, you were a little tense, it was hard just to tell Audrey what happened, this was going to be hell.

She laughed lightly, “oh please, I don’t tell him shit. But yes, I promise I won’t tell him.”

You took a deep breath and just said it, making sure your voice was low, “Toto Wolff kissed me.”

She almost dropped her wine glass, “Torger kissed you?!”

“Be quiet,” you shushed her, causing her to apologize, “yes he did, and I might’ve kissed him back..”

“Collie!” She quietly exclaimed, putting a hand over her mouth, “you know his eldest son is not ever 3 years younger than you.”

“I know... I don’t know why I did it.” You put your face in your hands after setting down your glass.

“I mean, he is handsome, and he has a nice voice,” your mother spoke, trying to help you to justify your actions.

You truly just wanted to break down and cry, between the stress of your job and now these jumbled-up feelings you didn’t even know you had weighted down on you.

“Hey, we all do things in the moment that we regret, the only thing you can do is make sure it doesn’t happen again,” she spoke, standing to move over to your couch to comfort you.

“That’s the thing mom, what if I want it to happen again,” you looked up, feeling a tear fall.

Your mother wiped it from your face and sighed, “ah, now that might be a problem.”

“I know,” you began to cry as your mom pulled you into a hug.

“It’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to,” She pulled away to look you in the eyes for a second before hugging you once more. But you couldn’t help but wonder if the way it was supposed to work out was the way that it shouldn’t.

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@lovingroscoee @laura-naruto-fan1998​ @fxshernoizu​

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Gojo Satoru general headcanons

Let's get one thing clear: this man is absolutely chaotic. He is always full of energy. His energy levels never reach below 50%. He is loud and proud, always running, and never takes a minute to relax.

Do not give him Monster. Shoko did that once and it took her forever to get him off the ceiling. Also, avoid caffeine. Shoko replaces his normal coffee with decaf and he still hasn't noticed the difference. Keep it that way.

He was the class clown when he was younger. He wasn't exactly a trouble maker, but he may as well be. I cannot word that sentence and I am sorry. Next.

All of his teachers assumed he never listened in class, so they always called in him when they thought he wasn't paying attention. It still shocked them every time he rattled off the correct answer.

Not only did he answer the question correctly, but he could also explain his reasoning behind the answer, and if it was multiple choice, explain why the other answers were wrong. 

This tall man child would march up to the board and absolutely fill it to the brim with work, turn around, drop the chalk-like a mic drop and walk back to his desk with the smuggest look on his face.

That doesn't mean he did the work tho

Idk how schools in japan work but we all know schools in America only care about the amount of work you do and not what you actually know so we'll use that for the sake of the headcanon: he had straight D's bc he never turned in his work

Despite not doing the work snd goofing off, teachers actually really liked him

A lot of people liked him and he was super popular, but he still felt alone

Fake friends, you know how that works, he didn't meet any real friends until he became a shaman

Clean freak. This dude actually makes his bed. He scrubs his bathroom twice a week. His desk can get cluttered but he straightens up once a week. He's not exactly a germaphobe because

He cannot respect your personal space and that's actually canon but let me take it a step further 

He's a slapper. Especially when he laughs. It doesn't hurt, it's playful dw. He hugs you from behind especially when he's cold. He picks you up and carries you around. He will grab your wrist, arm, or hand and lead you around even if you're following him. He lays his legs across you or lays across your lap. Puts his head on your shoulder. Platonic cuddling between friends is mandatory. He's just so hands-on it's ridiculous.

Unless you explicitly tell him you're uncomfortable he won't stop

Don't worry, if you aren't in that type of relationship, your no-no square is safe. Except, if you seem chill, he will slap your ass regardless of friendship status. His ass is also slappable. You can't tell me Geto and Gojo didn't run around slapping each other asses, okay

He was weird and scrawny as a child. He didn't start beefing out until he started training to be a shaman and he's still kinda smaller than most beefy boys

He can pick you up and throw you around easily. He carried around a 170 pound Yuji like a sack of potatoes and can easily carry around three times that weight

It's amazing he's so tiny because you remember 2014 Shane Dawson making all of those wack ass desserts that was just s pile of chaos wrapped in chocolate?

He can eat every last bite of one of those monstrosities without getting a stomach ache, gaining weight, or dying basically

He knows bc Yuji dared him to do it

He has really cold hands and feet

He sounds old. Let me elaborate. He's constantly cracking his joints. They also creak when he moves. He complains about body pains like he's 80 y/o

He also shares wisdom with the kids as if he's actually 80 y/o

It's irrelevant advice that doesn't make sense but is also useful. Megumi can't count the number of times he's asked Gojo for feedback on his technique but had been told to remember to chew 40 times or never go to bed angry

Starts off sentences with "now son" and "when I was your age"

He uses his blindfold as a headband when he wants his hair out of his face. He also uses headbands as... Headbands... When he wants to wear sunglasses but get his hair out of his face

He owns so many pairs of sunglasses but he always wears the same pair

He's only bought a handful of them himself, most of them are gifts

No one knows what to get him for Christmas or his birthday bc he has everything, so they resort to sunglasses

His favorite pair is a pair that Shoko and Geto bought him as a gag. He thought they were dead serious, though, so he wore them around for a month

They were heart-shaped, rose-tinted glasses

Can you believe this man doesn't use any gel or anything to keep his hair spiky with the blindfold on? It just naturally defies gravity when the blindfold is on

Tell this man he's pretty because he already knows. He's narcissistic but not the cringy kind

Photogenic as hell. Takes great pictures from any angle. 

He gives everyone a different story as to why he covers his eyes. Sometimes he says it's because his eyes are too pretty and are a distraction. Sometimes he says it's because the sunglasses/bandages/blindfold look cooler than his eyes. Sometimes he says it's to protect the six eyes from seeing things he doesn't want to see. The world may never know

He's tried covering his whole face before, but he thinks he's too pretty for that. He at least wants one of his many amazing features to be shown at all times.

So about his driver's license;

He knows how to drive. He can be a good driver. When he wants to be. He just doesn't have a driver's license.

Now he TELLS people he just never got around to getting one, however, there's a rumor he lost it due to too many parking tickets

It's amazing the only tickets he's ever gotten have been from that and once he got caught without a seatbelt; he would have gotten out of that one if he hadn't been flirting with the police officer so bad

This doesn't stop Gojo from driving places though

He steals Ijichi's car a LOT and Ijichi DOESN'T KNOW HOW like??? The windows are never broken and it doesn't look hotwired-

Gojo has a key

You're not even supposed to be able to duplicate car keys but Gojo did 

Also; none of the first-year trio knows he doesn't have a driver's license, though that much should be painfully obvious

He whips around corners, speeds up at yellow lights, goes "watch this" and does a donut, it's just a mess

The poor students have to sit in the backseat too. Just imagine Megumi with all three seatbelts around him like that one meme.

He thrives off of Nobara and Yuji screaming from the backseat, and he can see Megumi being smooshed because he thought the middle seat was the safest through the rearview mirror

Which he doesn't even need because of the six eyes

Despite being such a reckless driver, he knows when danger will happen, so he's never once gotten in a wreck

He blasts the radio, which makes up for the driving.

Has a habit of getting in a car and ending up in the McDonalds drive-thru

Steals other people's fries and keeps the fullest one for himself.

He was rebellious as a kid and teenager, but hey, at least his juvie record is sealed 

He's been detained and in the back of a cop car many times, but the reason was never really bad enough for him to be arrested. Mostly he's just being mouthy. And the time he got caught spray painting on the side of a building. And that one time he and Getou hopped the fence to get into the local pool. And that other time-

It got worse after Getou wasn't around to get him out of trouble. Suddenly, breaking the rules wasn't fun anymore and he mellowed out. 

Tried alcohol and cigarettes before he was legal. Decided neither was his thing, however, he did start drinking occasionally when he was legal.

He's a fucking chaotic drunk. Oh my god he's absolutely feral

Most bars in the vicinity know him by name and they sigh whenever he walks in

Shoko is his emergency contact. She hates it

Shoko has to drag drunk Gojo home at least twice a month and is not happy about it

Once she left him in an alley. He made it home okay so she guesses it's fine

Once he got so drunk he spilled beer on his sock. The thought the fastest way to dry them was by sticking them in the microwave. Forgot about it until someone asked, "Who the fuck is cooking socks???"

I feel it important he was in the break room of the local grocery store and no one knows how he got there

As he was escorted out he stole a grocery cart and rode away in it while singing Don't Threaten Me (With A Good Time) by Panic! At The Disco

He has no alcohol tolerance at all what so ever

He will literally just stare at you and giggle

It's funny he's really flirty but also doesn't seal the deal. Literally, every woman in that bar is willing to get in his bed but he declines every offer. No one knows why

Its because he respects women

He helps his students break the rules as long as they're within reason. Once night Yuji was really hungry and after having a temper tantrum he couldn't order Uber eats bc the school is supposed to be secret Gojo helped sneak him out to get food. Who needs curfew anyway.

The shirts in his closet range from like twenty bucks to the iconic rich bitch shirt the kids ruined in that one chapter we all know the one 

He still wears that by the way, he calls it "art" 

When he was younger, Megumi drew a picture of Gojo being eaten by his shadow dogs. Gojo found it and now it's framed in his room.

He keeps up with current trends and memes like no one's business. This is how he bonds with his kids.

Don't call him old, but also, he'll tell you to respect your elders it's a mess

He has a lot of games on his phone. You can usually find him holding his phone sideways playing some RPG game he probably spent too much money on 

He did hop on the Pokemon Go hype train but after becoming overpowered he got bored

This happens to a lot of games. He pays way too much money, gets to be the strongest in the server, and gets bored

He likes games where you can kill other people's troops and likes to watch as they lose all their power

I canon him as being borderline sadistic

This is why he's Sakata Gintoki reincarnated

White hair, sweet tooth, black leather clothes, dad vibes, never takes anything seriously bc when he does he's scary as fuck, the works.

He is Sakata Gintoki

He liked Gintama growing up. He watched a lot of iconic shows as they aired. He considers himself an og

He's hella bilingual

Because he's the strongest he goes overseas for missions a lot. Because of this he speaks a lot of languages and knows a lot about international cuisine 

He takes pictures of himself eating disgusting foods like snails. He never likes them but he loves the idea of Nobara gagging back in japan

Has paperwork sitting untouched on his desk from three months ago that he will not touch for at least another three months

Does the crossword puzzles in the newspaper every week

Uses humor as a coping mechanism and it honestly just became a personality

Constantly popping his joints. I'm sorry if you find this gross I too find it gross.

Probably brought home every stray animal he ever met ever until he was at least like 22 y/o

Tags: @wasabito @kittaliapenn