#Experimenting with murderbot fits

[oodlesodoodles]

[teaboot]

if ur a murderbot nerd now do u have any fun opinions abt it yet?

Oh my goddd you have no idea

I really, really, really like Murderbot because it comes at life with this perspective we don't often see that is very real among people who have already been through traumatic experiences, who developed skills and abilities to suvive that were once useful but no longer have context- that search that traumatized people go through to recalibrate and reorient ourselves in a world where we no longer really need those things to survive.

A bit personal here, but my own issues personally involved a lot of psychological abuse that made it difficult to trust my own perceptions of reality, and as a result I found I was very easy to lie to and manipulate.

To handle this, I became obsessive over writing things down, cataloging details and making notes of things as they happened- I'd carry recording devices and make audio recordings and stay up late at night to transcribe what they'd picked up, read those over and over again to reassure myself of things I wasn't certain about.

While doing this, there were others close to me that I felt responsible for, who I had to protect from others and protect myself from at the same time. Life was about two things: Evidence, and defusing threats

Over time, I learned to trust myself as my memories matched what had been recorded where their narrative didn't, but I never really kicked the habit. Like Murderbot, I had added something to my own programming that reassured me I was safe, that I was in control of myself, that I couldn't be mistaken or crazy or broken or used.

I'm only on book two, but already I see myself in Murderbot again. No spoilers here, but when I left home- left that dangerous context- I didn't need to repeat these patterns to survive anymore, but I still did, because I didn't know anything else anymore. It felt safe, comfortable, knowing knowing that the past couldn't repeat itself, because I'd written that flaw- blind trust in myself-  out of my programming and replaced it with something else.

Still, though, I'd become something specially suited to thrive in a very specific environment. Nothing else felt right like followinghigh-risk situations, like witnessing and watching and recording and knowing I had proof of the truth where others might not.

People took notice. I wound up in security by accident, but's an environment that I thrive in due to the same patterns and behaviours I originally developed when I had no other choice. I climbed the ladder pretty quickly, once supervisors caught on that my reports were the most accurate, most objective, most factual, detail-oriented and timely. I keep others and myself safe and prioritize public safety above all else, and I perform well under pressure

Now I'm in a position where I often wonder, do I enjoy this job, or is it just what I'm good at? I have a set of skills now, but do I have the option of choosing not to use them? What would I be, if not this? Could I be anything else? Can Murderbot be anything else?

It has a set of skills that set it apart, make it different, special. It does what it knows best. But is it free? Does it want to be? What does it want? Does it have to do what it was built to do? What if it didn't?

I know what I'm good for. The idea of deliberately leaving what I'm good for for something uncertain, that I might hate, that I might be useless at- the choice to give up what was so important to me for so long and become deliberately obsolete?

Let go of my entire purpose? The only thing I know, that I fit so well into but don't actually know if I enjoy? Now that I can choose? Now that enjoyment is a luxury I can afford to consider?

Yeah, that resonates.

I like the Murderbot series so far because it feels the way I feel: Like the most significant and formative part of my story, the part where I became what I am, has already happened

And now I have to just. Keep going

Into... what?

It feels absurd. Like a microwave giving up on reheating food and deciding to start a life around abstract dance.

So, uh. Yeah. It's really very wild to see this same philosophical-ish dilemma I've been digging over in the back of my mind and in therapy for the last forever laid out so plainly in a genuinely exciting and enjoyable story like this. I feel much less alone, and I... kind of really need to see how it resolves, I think.

So, uh. Yeah. Read Murderbot, I guess

[rockalillygirl]

Murderbot Holding Hands

(Minor spoilers alert for Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol, Exit Strategy pls check the tags)

First real post because I’m shy. Don’t know why it’s going to be a hyper-specific murderbot meta but here we go:

I’ve been rereading all the books after finishing System Collapse <3 and I want to talk about a small moment in Artificial Condition that I’d never noticed before. It’s near the end of the book when Tapan is in ART’s medsystem after nearly dying, and SecUnit says that when Tapan wakes up it’s holding her hand.

When Tapan woke, I was sitting on the MedSystem’s platform holding her hand. (Artificial Condition, p. 155 in my ebook)

I thought it was a really sweet moment, but it also kind of puzzled me because of SecUnit’s aversion to touch. Later when I was reading Exit Strategy, I noticed a similar moment when SecUnit holds hands with Mensah to help disguise them as they’re trying to escape TranRollinHyfa.

[Mensah] took a deep breath and looked up at me. “We can look calm. We’re good at that.” Yeah, we were. I did a quick review to make sure I was running all my not-a-SecUnit code, then I thought of one more thing I could do. As we stepped out of the pod, I took Mensah’s hand. (Exit Strategy, p. 87)

Reading these scenes felt different in a couple ways. In my opinion, SecUnit taking Mensah’s hand in Exit Strategy seemed like more of a big deal because it was a part of SecUnit’s reunion with Mensah, and we see its thoughts and emotions leading up to it. And it tracks that SecUnit might feel ok holding Mensah’s hand in that situation because of their close friendship. But the moment in Artificial Condition is more mysterious. We don’t get any of SecUnit’s internal monologue at the beginning because the scene opens when Tapan wakes up. And even though it’s clear in the book that SecUnit likes Tapan along with Rami and Maro, I wouldn’t say their relationship is anywhere near as close as its bond with Mensah. So why did it hold her hand?

I think it’s a neat moment that’s fun to ponder! And I have some vague ideas I’d like to share about it. (Some of this is based on the books and some is my speculation as an ace/aspec person dealing with touch aversion.) (Also none of these thoughts are mutually exclusive!)

Maybe SecUnit saw holding Tapan’s hand as a form of first aid after her traumatic experience and didn’t want her to panic waking up in a strange ship’s medsystem. This fits with SecUnit bracing itself to hug Mensah in Exit Strategy. (The memes of this moment are perfect lol)

But I was the only one here, so I braced myself and made the ultimate sacrifice. “Uh, you can hug me if you need to.” She started to laugh, then her face did something complicated and she hugged me. I upped the temperature in my chest and told myself it was like first aid. (Exit Strategy, pp. 82-3)

But I feel like SecUnit might not care as much about comforting Tapan in a similar way if it hadn’t already built up some kind of trust with her? Which brings me to Thought 2:

I think SecUnit might have felt safe holding Tapan’s hand because of the moment in Artificial Condition in the second transient hostel when Tapan laid down next to it. (Ofc I think rescuing Tapan from Tlacey’s ship was also a factor, trauma-bonding and all. But to me this moment in the hostel is more important.)

Thirty-two minutes later, I heard movement. I thought Tapan was getting up to go to the restroom facility, but then she settled on the pad behind me, not quite touching my back… I had never had a human touch me, or almost touch me, like this before and it was deeply, deeply weird. (Artificial Condition, pp. 136-7)

This is one of my favorite sequences in Artificial Condition (which is also my favorite book in the series because of ART! And because I find it quiet, reflective, and weirdly cozy even though objectively few cozy things happen now that I think about it). The scene is pretty mundane with a lot of fun bits like SecUnit pretending to need to use the restroom, be on a diet, etc. And we usually don’t get to see SecUnit hanging out with only one person. So it gives room for some small, but important feelings that I don’t think SecUnit has time to explore when it’s busy saving the day. Like how it feels about physical contact with humans.

(idk it reminds me of how like in ghibli films there’s usually at least one scene with the characters eating a meal or something because it sort of grounds everything else. I just like it!)

Tapan being close to SecUnit seems to throw if off-guard, but the context of the scene feels non-threatening and pretty mellow. So I think this gives SecUnit the opportunity to check-in with itself about this new experience. It still feels weird about it, but not in a scary or upsetting way. I think it’s almost this mutual vulnerability (Tapan feeling vulnerable and seeking comfort and SecUnit feeling vulnerable about her closeness and its own boundaries) that creates a bond between them, and that’s why SecUnit reaches out to Tapan to comfort her when she wakes up onboard ART.

That scene has become really special to me. And I would argue that it’s an important moment to SecUnit too because it brings it up again in Exit Strategy, along with a later moment in Rogue Protocol, thinking about times when it’s experienced physical contact with humans in a non-traumatizing way.

Except it wasn’t entirely awful. It was like when Tapan had slept next to me at the hostel, or when Abene had leaned on me after I saved her; strange, but not as horrific as I would have thought. (Exit Strategy, p. 83)

These moments seem to lead up to SecUnit offering to comfort Mensah later on because it’s reached a point where it feels willing to do so for her sake, even if it doesn’t want to seek out that kind of comfort for itself. And it’s really cool to see SecUnit navigate this throughout the books.

SecUnit starts the series with a strong innate sense that it doesn’t want to be touched by humans, but it’s allowed to refine those feelings in light of its new experiences. It’s boundaries are situational and personal, and even well-meaning humans sometimes struggle to understand them at first. Other times, SecUnit finds it difficult to understand it’s own feelings regarding touch and even changes its mind. But, importantly, the narrative always presents this as valid and worthy of respect.

This is a much more nuanced and realistic portrayal of defining boundaries than I’ve seen in a lot of media- one where it’s a constant and sometimes confusing process of self-discovery.

And these might seem like obvious concepts to some people, but they weren’t for me growing up. I really wish I’d read these books when I was younger, and maybe I would’ve given myself more grace to define my comfort level, grow, and change. But I’m glad that I’m in a place now where I can see and appreciate these things in what’s become one of my favorite series.

Anyway, I don’t want to say "thanks for coming to my TedTalk” lol. But very grateful to anyone who reads this and hope it was thought-provoking. Would be interested to hear other people’s thoughts on these scenes!

[swimsauce]

I think my biggest gripe(not really a gripe just like an area of interest tbh) with the Murderbot Diaries is that it doesn't really focus on the bots enough. In the MBD universe, there are basically 3 different varieties of sapience. You got the humans/altered humans(organic and organic with mechanics), bots (mechanical) or constructs (organic and mechanical combo). The series has Murderbot, a construct, be out pov character, and them being a combo of both bot and human parts gives the perspective (and isolation) from the two main groups. We spend a lot of time with humans, which is fair, they are the reason bots and constructs exist in the state the do and are the dominant force in their society. But I wanna know more about bot culture. MB’s interactions with only bot culture has been relatively limited, the only time they were around a mainly bot group was with the loader bots on Perseverance. Perseverance, while much more progressive on bots/construct freedoms is still limited because bots/constructs must still have a guardian human to preside over them(i know they were trying to make a change to that rule but it isn't really expanded on if it changed or not). Now I do feel like the universe has shown how bots having rather diverse and interesting perspectives and lives, from ART who is so above other humans and bots it is kind of isolated from other bots of its kind, to Miki who seemed to have a human family and was not familiar with other bots. 

I really like how MBD handles sentience, from our perspective as the readers and parsing through MB’s pov, we know that bots,constructs and humans are all sentient beings, however how they view the world differently. And for a narrative about what it means to be “human”, that is neat. I think that's an interesting answer to the continuous sci fi dilemma of “can a robot be sentient”. The answer is yes, it's just gonna be different than a human's view of the world, and their roles and wants/needs will be different and that's ok. Bots in the MBD universe are in such a precarious position, with their sentience consistently in limbo and always able to have their agency taken away. It's such a sad and demeaning position that they are in with the current CR control and human dominated society that will always have the final say over how bots can operate. I would like to see more of the bot side. Maybe like an exploration of more bot experiences in the future. Like how are other rogue bots out there doing? Are there like little robot enclaves or societies outside of the human dominance we have seen them under? I guess I wanna see a story about that and how MB would feel about it, to be not just free from their oppressive systems of the CR, but also in a space that doesn't have humans. How would it be similar and/or different to living in a human dominated society? How as a construct would they fit in or stick out? 

[acotars]

books read in 2023

january

sweep in peace by ilona andrews

one fell sweep by ilona andrews

a court of mist and fury by sarah j. maas

sweep of the blade by ilona andrews

sweep with me by ilona andrews

my best friend’s exorcism by grady hendrix

kiss her once for me by alison cochrun

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy

love and other words by christina lauren

sweep of the heart by ilona andrews

the only living girl on earth by charles yu

witches get stuff done by molly harper

you had me at hola by alexis daria

her vigilante by lillian lark

inconvenient daughter by lauren j. sharkey

anon pls. by deuxmoi

you are eating an orange. you are naked. by sheung-king

legends & lattes by travis baldree

bad vibes only (and other things i bring to the table) by nora mcinerny

signs of cupidity by raven kennedy

bonds of cupidity by raven kennedy

crimes of cupidity by raven kennedy

read: 23

february

exciting times by naoise dolan

sweethand by n.g. peltier

you made a fool of death with your beauty by akwaeke emezi

something wilder by christina lauren

highly suspicious and unfairly cute by talia hibbert

you deserve each other by sarah hogle

this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max goldstone

would you rather by allison ashley

read: 8

march

meet me in the margins by melissa ferguson

king of battle and blood by scarlett st. clair

the exotic by hampton sides

river of shadows by karina halle

alone with you in the ether by olivie blake

lovelight farms by b.k. borison

the soulmate equation by christina lauren

before i let go by kennedy ryan

haunting adeline by h.d. carlson

the lies i tell by julie clark

one jump at a time by nathan chen

our wives under the sea by julia armfield

all systems red (the murderbot diaries #1) by martha wells

before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi

read: 14

april

funny you should ask by elissa sussman

make a scene by mimi grace

sweeter than chocolate by lizzie shane

the kiss quotient by helen hoang

my favorite half-night stand by christina lauren

romantic comedy by curtis sittenfeld

icebreaker by a.l. graziadei

the wedding proposal by john swansiger

circling back to you by julie tieu

by the book by amanda sellet

a lady’s guide to mischief and mayhem by manda collins

love in the time of serial killers by alicia thompson

if the shoe fits by julie murphy

whispers of you by catherine cowles

the kiss curse by erin sterling

by the book by jasmine guillory

honey & spice by bolu babalola

one night on the island by josie silver

the bodyguard by katherine center

the reunion by kayla olson

the neighbor favor by kristina forest

crooked kingdom by leigh bardugo

do i know you? by emily wibberley & austin siegemund-broka

just my type by falon ballard

delilah green doesn’t care by ashley herring blake

happy place by emily henry

dating dr. dil by nisha sharma

icebreaker by hannah grace

count your lucky stars by alexandria bellefleur

stone cold fox by rachel koller croft 

fake it till you bake it by jamie wesley

read: 31

may

the dead romantics

motherthing by ainslie hogarth

the woman in the library by sulari gentill

artificial condition (the murderbot diaries #2) by martha wells

the last word by taylor adams

you shouldn’t have come here by jeneva rose

read: 6

june

fourth wing (the empyrean #1) by rebecca yarros

the very secret society of irregular witches by sangu mandanna

love, theoretically by ali hazelwood

read: 3

july

the traitor queen (the bridge kingdom #2) by danielle l. jensen

the beast by katee robert

baldur's gate: descent into avernus by by james introcaso et. al

forget me not by julie soto

the wishing game by meg shaffer

read: 5

august

the true love experiment by christina lauren

pachinko by min jin lee

almond by sohn won-pyung, translated by joosun lee

hook, line, and sinker by tessa bailey

read: 4

september

hey, u up? (for a serious relationship): how to turn your booty call into your emergency contact by emily axford & brian murphy

everyone knows your mother is a witch by rivka galchen

fangs by sarah andersen

a room with a view by e.m. forster

juniper bean resorts to murder by gracie ruth mitchell

one's company by ashley hutson

the mysterious affair at styles by agatha christie

solita: a gothic romance by vivien rainn

you, again by kate goldbeck

the undertaking of hart and mercy by megan bannen

my roommate is a vampire by jenna levine

the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde

the vampires of el norte by isabel cañas

her body and other parties by carmen maria machado

evil eye by etaf rum

the seven year slip by ashley poston

read: 17

october

keeper of enchanted rooms by charlie n. holmberg

the serpent and the wings of night by carissa broadbent

shy by max porter

down comes the night by allison saft

the unfortunate side effects of heartbreak and magic by breanne randall

the hurricane wars by thea guanzon

read: 6

november

a witch's guide to fake dating a demon by sarah hawley

the wake-up call by beth o'leary

when in rome by sarah adams

the view was exhausting by mikaella clements and onjuli datta

hello stranger by katherine center

practice makes perfect by sarah adams

do your worst by rosie danan

read: 7

december

bookshops & bonedust by travis baldree

the fake mate by lana ferguson

read: 2

final count: 127/100

[wilfriede]

💗 Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love! 💗

I'm not really a writer, so I'll go ahead and talk about my podfics instead :)

First off, my favorite projects tend to be the ones that have extensive music (or sound effects). One reason for that is that it feels very satisfying when all that work pays off and I manage to realize my ideas in a way that I'm happy with. But also, the stories of these projects tend to be special and meaningful to me. I have to have that one idea of what I want to achieve with music or effects, and that always comes from the story itself, whether it's a certain mood, writing style, structure or just one specific scene or image.

I'm collecting these types of podfics in two series on AO3: Adventures in Soundtracking for music and Adventures in Soundscaping for effects.

As for specific podfics, confining myself to 5 favorites is hard, haha, but here goes:

For music:

The Forever War: (Fandom: Original Work, Length: 7:02) @mangacat201 had introcuded me to the soundtrack of "Penny Dreadful" score shortly before I began working on the podfic and at some point it just hit me how well it would fit the atmosphere of the story. With her amazing help I gave the podfic a complete underscoring of music and I am so, so happy with how it turned out.

For Soundeffects:

Unmade: (Fandom: The Murderbot Diaries, Length: 37:57) This is a murderbot fic, so it has ample opportunity for voice effects for bot entities and feed communication. Moreover, the plot and writing style lends itself to moody, creepy horror vibes and I had a lot of fun with that. I had incredible help from midnightlover01 on that one, who set up all the filters/effects for the different voices and who created (!) some of the moody ambience and soundeffects herself.

For Soundscaping:

The best damn books in the galaxy: (Fandom: The Locked Tomb, Length: 4:23) This is a tongue-in-cheek introduction to The Locked Tomb bookseries. @lady-harrowhark wrote this specifically for me to record, and it was so funny and poignant and cleverly written… To really convey what's going on in there, I went all in on the soundscaping. I couldn't be prouder of the result :D

For Recording Experience:

Illusion: (Fandom: The Devil Wears Prada, Length: 21:46) It's always such a joy when an author's writing style fits me and the way I read. I had the most fun recording @chilly-flame's Illusion for that reason. And because Miranda is a lustful vampire in this one and I could go to town on the breathy voiceacting for her. It was one of my most fun recording experiences. (This one was particularly hard to choose, because I've also recorded stories by @kellychambliss and @gveret-fic where I could feel right as I was recording that this was going to turn out good. It's always such a cool experience.)

For Editing:

Gummy Cooks Ramen: A Dramatic Reading (Length: 2:33) Do you know this video of a Discord chat about cooking ramen, set to The Hall of the Mountain King? Well, during Voiceteam Mystery Box a couple of podficcers decided to record it and I had the absolute joy of editing it and fitting it to the music. Did I spend several days on not even 3 minutes of audio? Yes, yes I did. Was it worth it? Most emphatically YES. It's my proudest editing achievement :D

[murderbotwritingprompts]

The Murderbot Diaries writing prompt #02: Are We Really Doing This Again?

It all started with some crazed human shouting some weird technobabble gibberish that Murderbot didn't bother to look up the definitions for, waving around in a panic some sort of large weapon-looking thing that was connected by some tubing to a giant machine bolted to the floor of the dead spaceship and sparking dangerously with electricity in a way that was absolutely not safe for anyone.

Before Murderbot could react -- (yes, it happened that fast) -- the main part of the machine let out a shrieking sound, and a beam of energy that only Murderbot could see shot out of the end of the nozzle the panicked human was still waving around, and slammed directly into the side of Murderbot's head.

(Archived read-more link)

The next thing it knew, it was jumping forward in a delayed, reflexive attempt to dodge the beam that had already hit it, and found itself suddenly with no ground beneath its feet, and then it was falling, tumbling head over heels, down what seemed like a cliff, unable to get any bearings at all and unable to slow its fall as its mind scrambled to catch up with the suddenly changed situation. There wasn't enough time to try digging its hands into the dirt it was falling past, and none of its frantic, disoriented attempts to slow its fall did anything.

Going from inside a cramped, dark dead ship to falling full speed down a cliff with a nauseatingly bright purple visible every other moment when its head spun to face upward was bewildering, to say the least.

Over the sound of every part of its body slamming repeatedly into dirt and rocks, it could hear the sounds of familiar human voices shouting over eachother in clear alarm, along with dozens of warnings from various sources, but it shut them all out, trying to focus on slowing its uncontrolled fall to no avail.

When it finally slammed to a halt, it fortunately managed to land squarely on its stomach, instead of its head or legs. Its armour supposedly would have stopped bones from being broken, but you never could be too sure it'd actually live up to that promise. Several of the times Murderbot had been dismembered while in the Company's hands had been because its armour wasn't actually up to the standard it claimed it was.

The force with which it had finally slammed to the ground would have been enough to kill an unarmored human instantly, but fortunately, its armour this time seemed up to the test, because it didn't even get the wind knocked out of its lungs like it'd been fearing. That had only happened to it a few times, because its lungs were sturdier than a human's but it was a sickeningly unpleasant experience that it never wanted to experience again if it could help it.

It wanted to sit up, but when it tried, its armour zapped it and then starting pinging it with alarms, warning it that the structural integrity was at risk and it should be placed in a repair cabinet before being trusted to protect the wearer.

It shut off the armour's alarm and sat up stubbornly, trying to figure out what was happening. This was the kind of armour the Company rented, not like anything they had on Preservation, not like anything it'd worn for years.

The first thing it saw when it sat up and got its eyes to focus was the bottom of a crater stretching out before it, with steep, black walls of loose soil rising in the distance, with the purple sky overhead streaming bright with sunlight, with brown and gold planetary rings stretching across the vaulted ceiling of the sky, and...

...wait a minute.

It was only then that Drs. Bharadwaj and Volescu came into view, both of them running full tilt and skidding to a stop in front of Murderbot, assisted by the extremely and unpleasantly familiar, color-coded exploration suits they were wearing.

It was after Murderbot realized that Dr. Bharadwaj wasn't using her cane, and that this type of exploration suit wasn't fit to support an injured leg to, that the improbable, ridiculous, absurd idea of what might be happening started to dawn on it, despite all its logic trying to push the idea away. Time travel wasn't actually real, it was only something that happened in fiction.

It was probably hallucinating. Or dreaming. Because it was definitely Drs. Bharadwaj and Volescu in front of it, rushing forward to –

Oh fuck!

It realized what they were about to do an instant too late to stop them, and then it was too late to pull away as violently as it wanted to without severely injuring them.

Dr. Bharadwaj grabbed one of its arms, and Dr. Volescu grabbed the other, and they attemped to pull it to its feet, and all the while their concerned voices were overlapping along with the conflicting and progressively overwhelming messages and commands it was receiving from its governer module, the med system, and the other humans who were still on the comm.

Fortunately, it was wearing its armour, so they weren't touching it directly, but even so, it could feel the pressure, and it promised worse.

It was bewildered and disoriented, unable to figure out what was going on with all the chaotic inputs it suddenly found it couldn't handle. It found itself pulling away from the humans more roughly than it should have and leaping to its feet and landing several feet away from their reaching hands, snapping, without thinking, too confused and overwhelmed to do anything else at the moment, “My contract forbids you from touching me without my permission!”

It felt its governer module try and fail to fry its brain as Drs. Volescu and Bharadwaj fell backwards to the ground, shock plain on both of their faces through their transparent visors.

And it was only at that exact moment that Murderbot remembered the danger they were all in, remembered why the Dr. Bharadwaj it knew in what was undeniably the future never went anywhere without one of her canes.

The world seemed to move in slow motion as it started running forward to grab its friends to get them out of the crater and out of danger, every sense in its body, both mechanical and organic, suddenly, dreadfully certain that it was too late.

It was too late.

The giant, predatory tunneler exploded up out of the ground below the two humans, teeth whirling, and the comm units were filled with screams.

Murderbot didn't bother reaching for the gun on its back. After that fall down the hill, it was unlikely to be functioning. Instead, it launched itself straight for the animal's mouth, just like the last time Dr. Bharadwaj had been caught, pulled the two unconcious humans out and leapt clear, then opened the gun ports in its arms, and fired as rapidly as it could into the creature's throat on full power, aiming for the teeth, the soft inside of the mouth, and the back of the throat. It knew not to waste its time trying to hit the brain above the mouth, it wouldn't stop it.

But pain was pain, and maybe, if it hurt it badly enough, it wouldn't want to come back for seconds. The animal reared back violently away from the assault, and a few of the bursts hit its underside, cracking and charring the flesh in large circles of black before it plunged backwards back down the tunnel out of reach.

The roar of the hopper was suddenly audible overhead, and Murderbot knew that Dr. Mensah and Ratthi had arrived, flying to the rescue just half a minute too late.

Murderbot dropped down and clamped its hands over the horrible injuries the two scientists had sustained, feeling like it was also going into some sort of shock.

Dr. Volescu's left foot was gone, and so was Dr. Bharadwaj's entire right leg. It wasn't just chunks missing this time, the whole thing was gone.

Murderbot had miraculously managed to get them both out of the animal's mouth without getting debilitatingly injured itself this time, but even so, it knew it wouldn't be able to carry both of them up the steep wall of the crater by itself. All of the medical supplies had been left over in the center of the crater where they'd been standing before Murderbot fell down the hill.

The only thing it could do was crouch over them, its armoured hands covered in their blood, and wait for the hopper to get close enough that they could be pulled inside to safety, desperately hoping that they would survive, not knowing what it would do if they didn't.

Murderbot could feel an involuntary shutdown coming on.

::Please hurry.:: It sent to Dr. Mensah, as the roar of the hopper grew so loud that it was barely even aware when its cognitive systems finally shut down from the stress.

[iviarellereads]

System Collapse, Chapter 11

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Murderbot Diaries, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

In which family means no one's secrets get revealed.

Murderbot spends the trip recharging a bit. The hopper is faster than the ground vehicle, which is good for travel time but bad for its nerves about human safety. MB hopes B-E don't know about the construction access, and if they do, won't be able to find where the HSUs moved the tunnel vehicle.

Iris grabs a med kit and says MB's leakage is worrying her. MB says it should stop soon, and thinks its power drain is a worse problem. It kind of just wants to watch Sanctuary Moon with Art-drone, only Art-drone is even worse off, so it puts on some World Hoppers instead.

Leonide asks if MB is really a SecUnit. Iris tells her to mind her own business. Leonide calls her oversensitive, goes silent for 5.3 seconds, then bursts out to ask if someone is really watching media right now. Tarik deadpans her about distracting himself while flying, and she says fuck all of them in response.

They arrive at the terraforming end of the tunnel to find an obstruction in the hangar, but it's just the shuttle, with a hat! Ratthi deployed the survival tent to keep the dust out. His voice makes MB's performance spike upward with relief.(1)

Ratthi pushes the button for the tent to pack itself up, and they all load into the shuttle. Leonide boards first, but only to make room for Iris and MB to get Art-drone in safely. MB can feel Art watching in the feed for any funny business or betrayal, but MB thinks she just knows the fastest way to escape is to help.

With Art-drone failing, the pathfinders need a little assistance. MB steps in to do what it can, though they're far from the drones it's used to.

Unfortunately, just as everyone's starting to relax, they pull out of a dust cloud and find an armed B-E shuttle following. Iris offers "to authorize deadly force" which MB doesn't need but appreciates. MB positions the pathfinders so that one takes a blow and explodes into a cloud of sensor-scattering debris, allowing the other to swing around and bop the B-E ship on the nose.(2)

The shuttle fell away, still intact but probably dealing with damage, a disoriented bot pilot, and a terrified human crew. Our shuttle powered upward, back on course and widening the distance between us.

As they come out of the comm blackout zone some time later, they see another ship, but quickly determine it's one of their own, a University ship finally come to help.

They pick up a B-E transmission and, having decoded their encryption in just two days, play back the whole argument about whether to engage. Leonide asks for comms, and when given, stands with her team in telling the others to stand down.

The channel got so quiet, Tarik tapped it to make sure it hadn’t gone dead.

Art-prime takes over the pathfinders, redirecting them now that they're not needed for defence. Art-prime starts integrating Art-drone, and Art-drone asks which ship came to help. Art tells it to guess. Art-drone pessimistically declares it must be Holism. They finish the handoff, and as Art-drone goes dead, Iris makes a sobbing noise that startles MB. In a private connection, she asks if there was time for a full transfer, and MB confirms it. Iris adds that she always gets emotional at the thought of losing any part of her Peri and its experiences.

I know, I said. And I did know, and now I was having an emotion. Like a big overwhelming emotion. It felt bad but good, a weird combination of happy and sad and relieved, like something had been stuck and it wasn’t stuck anymore. Cathartic, okay. This fits the definition of cathartic. It was like the way I’d felt when I killed the Target who threatened Amena and laughed at me because I was upset when I thought ART was dead. Except without the violence, and that only lasted a minute or so, and this seemed like it would go on a while.(3) Nobody was dead and I hadn’t had a relapse of my stupid memory thing. And if I did have a relapse, at least I knew what it was now. Don’t just sit there, ART said to me and Iris as it brought the shuttle into its docking module. Console each other. I said, You fuck off at the same time as Iris said, Oh, shut it, Peri, and that felt even better.(4)

=====

(1) I just bet! (2) Insert a skeletor NYEHEHEH giggle from me here. Nonfatal, but completely effective. Love to see it. (3) I just need to take a minute to have my own emotion at this. Like, I keep saying on main and anywhere people will listen that engaging with anger will give you a short-term good feeling and a long-term bad habit that becomes more and more deeply patterned on your daily life and harder to break. And, I just love seeing allusions to that in this sort of fiction. Like, it was a necessary violence, and there's no denying that the feeling was justified afterwards. But, violence and anger are not pathways to fulfillment and joy. The more you give in to the rage bait, the more that anger takes over your life and affects everything you do and everyone you interact with. It's important to be aware of those choices. And I love that Murderbot's commitment is to trying to save life, even when it's life that's threatening itself or its humans. It doesn't always work, but it does make it easier to live with yourself. (4) Yep, it's definitely a love language for Art.

[heading-home-again]

On indefinite hiatus

Hi there! If I'm following your blog, it's because I like your blog. It's not complicated.

If I recently I UNfollowed your blog, it is not intended as hostile or passive aggressive or saying I don't think your blog is good. It's just not what I'm looking for on my dash right now.

I will make a heroic effort not to descend like a swarm of monotropic locusts and spam like half your blog, but honestly no promises. Unless you have something in profile or pinned saying not to, I do try to check for that.

I post/reblog

Lots of Murderbot Diaries content

Like, a lot :D

Also OCD and autism stuff

Also just cool stuff like nature and cute cats

Also sometimes politics

I'm "old" (40ish)

I don't have a DNI and I don't vet blogs I reblog from at all. I don't even do an ideological purity test on blogs I follow. When I post or reblog something onto my Tumblr, however, I do attempt to filter out the following:

Obvious OCD triggers. I can't catch em all, but I'm at least not going to repost "reblog or you're a bad person" stuff

Political despair

Racism, antisemitism, TERF and radfem stuff, transphobia, erasure, sus call-out posts (that's most of them), etc

Things I think are interesting include various fandoms, nature pics, cats, animals being cute or cool, marine life (OCTOPUSES! WHALES!), space, mental health, neurodivergence and neurodiversity, psychology in general, childhood and child development, parenting, children's rights.

I have OCD and am very interested in how to live well with it.

I don't have an autism diagnosis, but I have found that about 80% of what LSN autistics say about their experiences and effective life hacks applies to me, so ... I am EMBRACING the ambiguity, which I love SO MUCH (sarcasm).

My age is greater than thirty.

I don't give away money on Tumblr. This is a hard line. Doesn't mean I don't believe you, don't think you deserve help, or don't think you should be asking for it. Does mean that asking me here is a waste of your time.

I don't engage while too angry to think. I also have a busy life. These are two possible reasons I'm not replying. Second is more likely.

I am currently trying to learn about narcissism and NPD for several reasons. One being that, once I started researching it on Tumblr, I found I had some of the symptoms. The other being that I've experienced abuse from a friend who almost definitely should have been diagnosed with NPD. The third being that I just think psychology is interesting.

I may currently be following your blog because of this interest, and if so I'm putting in a warning that the next part is me processing difficult stuff and talking about "narcissistic abuse". (And while I hope you won't block me, I understand if you do. I will absolutely take it personally, lol, but I won't, like, have an online fit about it)

Being a condescending asshole about abuse victims may get you blocked. This includes abuse victims who describe their experience as "narcissistic abuse." Yes, the "narcissistic abuse" survivors community is ableist AF. It's also what got me out of a soul destroying, physically dangerous situation. Sometimes things are complicated. Abuse victims, other than a weird mostly non-existent subclass of perfect innocent ideal victims who responded exactly right, are also a huge target of social prejudice. If you don't understand this, and the way it contributes to things like toxicity in the "narcissistic abuse" community, maybe just... don't be rude about abuse survivors?

That said, if you're describing your own experiences as "narcissistic abuse," I'd encourage you, once you are out of survival mode, to consider moving away from the term, for a whole bunch of reasons.

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-01-15

back in the saddle

Listening: The Skeleton Dance, a single from Perennial which I clicked on solely because the title and band name go together so well.

Short and sweet post-punk snippet. Go check out their other albums, probably? I'm still going through those too.

Reading: New Murderbot, which I am very glad to say I actually liked. I did not really like Network Effect because it was too all over the place and felt more like three murderbot novellas in a trench coat. System Collapse is much more tightly written thing that actually fits its length.

Two big things going on that make it work: a strong focus on Murderbot having a hard time dealing with trauma because it refuses to acknowledge it is like a human in any way. Murderbot not wanting to be human and refusing all attempts to characterize it like a human are such strong parts of its personality that it's interesting to see it get hit by that revolving door.

The other thing is very tightly constraining the tools and environment. Murderbot has strict enough rules and solid enough explanations that mechanical limitations build well into actual narrative tension. Murderbot only having two camera drones and no armour is responsible for a solid half of the tension of the book, and controlling how much access it has to other systems is a big driver of the ebb and flow of that tension.

Murderbot as a series has such a delightful economy of worldbuilding. There's the entire implied world of hyperintelligent bots existing just out of view, things on par with Peri hiding in systems and allying with a select group of humans because it likes them. The whole human/construct/bot divide is repeatedly shown to be extremely blurry, which is fun because Murderbot treats it as unimpeachable truth.

Also one of the handful of book series where I read about some little thing and search for parts at my electronics supplier.

I have just started Hannah Ritchie's new book Not The End Of The World which is a bookified form of her general research on "things are getting better, there's a long way to go, but fatalism is not only unproductive it's incorrect". Having already read a lot of her work it retreads that a lot, and if you see a long patch of text without any citations you can skip over it, but it is handy to see all the numbers laid out.

Ritchie's research seems more correct than not most of the time, so while I do sometimes go "oh come on" at specific claims or propositions, it's generally interesting and worthwhile if you care about the data behind modern climate change and how it relates to economic and technological development.

It is really funny how much of climate discussion really does boil down to "for the love of god stop burning things."

Watching: Noah's Shark at Bad Movie Night, a Polonia Brothers movie about the curse laid on the secret fourth son of Noah when he brought a demonic third shark on the Ark. Yeah.

It's on YouTube in its entirety.

There's something funny about the fact that the Polonia team have put out so many movies that even their bad movies have flashes of clear competence in writing. Some genuinely good banter in between everything else going on in this movie.

Playing: Briefly picked up Dark Souls long enough to get to the Capra demon, but I have not tried to fight it yet.

Making: 3D printing a microphone holder for Dark Souls recordings because I did like editing those supercuts and the bad audio was killing me. Had a good time experimenting with dovetails and other sliding joints. Learning a lot about OnShape, especially poking at the Assembly system for the first time and finally using it enough to start picking up the shortcuts in earnest.

Tools and Equipment: Hey did you know that oranges are one million times easier to eat if you just cut them into slices and then peel the skins off. I have basically not eaten oranges for years because you can't peel them easily by hand. Oranges are great. Just cut them into quarters and go to town.

[specialagentartemis]

A Catalogue of Longfics I Want (Plan?) To Write

Only ideas I think would be multiple chapters and 10k+ words; doesn’t even include oneshots like Sisko Negotiates Space NAGPRA or Picard Goes To An Archaeology Conference or Teen Ratthi Angsts About Going To College or The Crew Of The Hermes Gets Murdered And Their Brains Scooped Out.

Ranked from 1 🌱 = this is just daydreams and vibes, to 5 🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱 = I have a 10-page outline with every plot beat and thematic parallel written out.

A * means that I’ve actually posted several chapters to AO3 already

Wolf 359

The Last Days of the Lovelace Administration 🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱 Lovelace tells Minkowski what happened on her mission. Fully canon compliantly tragic. Everyone dies. Frame narrative. Lovelace-centric.

*To Stand Together Against Fate (Lambert Week fic) 🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱 An AU that spun off Zach Valenti’s “Lambert Week” streams. Lovelace and Lambert fight fate and REFUSE to let anyone die. The timeline gets slippy and things start getting weird. Lovelace won’t let a little thing like temporal causality hurt her crew though.

*Change the Rules 🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱 Minkowski, Eiffel, and Hilbert do Box 953.

The Tiamat Horror 🌱🌱🌱 Zhang’s mission.

—

The Murderbot Diaries

Anthropology fic 🌱🌱🌱 Murderbot and Thiago go to a Corporation Rim mine where the miners are trying to unionize and strike, to do linguistic anthropology. They get more than they bargained for. Featuring SecUnit OCs, original filk, worker solidarity, and speculative linguistics.

*Home Again 🌱🌱🌱 The PresAux crew are home after their whole survey ordeal… but changed by the experience. Not the same people they were, and they don’t fit quite the same way. Augh I want to finish this but I’m kinda stuck on some of the chapters

Volescu backstory fic 🌱🌱🌱🌱 What if he was a political refugee and went through Some Shit. Would that be fucked up or what.

Pin-Lee backstory fic 🌱🌱🌱 Her CCC-esque service year before college.

Overse backstory fic 🌱🌱🌱🌱 Moved from a CR station to Preservation as a child. This causes some feelings.

Pin-Lee Exit Strategy POV 🌱🌱🌱🌱 As de facto leader here she was having a fucking Time.

Consuela Makeba’s story 🌱🌱🌱 THE EPIC OF HOW PRESERVATION WAS FOUNDED 300 YEARS AGO!!

The murder mystery one I started in an AUpril snip and went actually this is a banger concept 🌱 No idea where to go from here but it was a cool idea

—

Greek Epics And Mythology

Polites perspective on the Odyssey 🌱🌱 He gets to survive actually because honestly. Give one of Odysseus’s men a break. Something about how the men who weren’t kings and demigods and great remembered heroes still went Thru This Shit too. Epic poem in dactylic hexameter because I hate myself apparently

Odysseus adopts Cassandra 🌱🌱🌱 based on a tumblr post hell if I can find again. Clever use of Odysseus calling himself “Nobody”. Means he found a way to hear her prophecies and believe them, so she cuts a deal—she gets him home in 3 months rather than 10 years on the promise that if she does so he’ll adopt her as a legitimate daughter and princess of Ithaca. Very meta. In the format of a classic Sophoclean or Euripidean play.

Brithawon goes with Nestor to the Trojan War, has a bad time 🌱 I just think it would be fun

—

Star Trek

Kira is upset about Cardassian archaeologists on Bajor 🌱🌱 Sooooo much potential here

Sarina Douglas becomes an advocate for genetically engineered people’s rights 🌱 Here too!!!

—

Other

‘Emergence’ (Noel/Leon in 10th century Chaco Canyon) 🌱🌱🌱 An alternate ending to the Time Trap! series. No I never read the real ending that’s irrelevant. Noel and Leon fuck in this one. Also there is political intrigue regarding a Chaco elite marriage

The Tiamat Horror… 2! Primordial Deep version! (Sirena Halcyon and the 10 years she spent trapped in an underwater ocean research station) 🌱🌱🌱🌱 God!!! What was she DOING for ten years stuck in the place where her one surviving colleague killed all the rest of them! Featuring cuddling, horrifying transformations, and cannibalism.

[iamthelowercase]

I am dealing with a lot of localized stress right now, and what I want to do about it is read a whole bunch of fanfic for escapism.  So I am requesting recommendations: both fic recs, and recommendations of tags or combinations-of-tags to search on Ao3.

For fic recs: I will read your fandom, if it's a stand-alone capable fic!  Also, I will probably read Bionicle fics regardless, and I'll have a list of fandoms below.

In addition to Ao3, I'm willing to read stories on the SB/SV/QQ trifecta or Royal Road.

I would like fics that are complete with a happy ending, and/or are written as fluffy/happy/feel-good.

I would particularly appreciate fics with a trans and/or plural protagonist.  These don't have to be the plot, but there's no point here if they're not relevant to the plot.  (Eg Babylon 5: Copilots on SV, AlexSeanchai's t4t Miraculous Ladybug fic that I was looking for earlier.)

I massively prefer speculative fiction/SFF.  So everything from Pacific Rim, to superheroes, to Star Wars/Star Trek, to LotR style fantasy.  If you give me a mundane AU, that will ruin the interest for me; but if you give me SFF characters doing mundane things in an unambiguously SFF setting, I'll probably eat it up.  (Like the coffee shop scenes and skateboarding scene in this fic.)

Moderate adventure (more Star Wars original trilogy than LotR) or relationship focus & development, please.  If you've read The Course Of Honor or Winters Orbit, that does a delightful job of balancing both.

Nobody dies is not necessary, but I don't want protagonist death unless they also explicitly get better.  Friendly vampires etc count as "getting better".

Hard "no"s for the purpose of this request:

S/M

mind control

dubcon

humiliation

A/B/O

"Ao3 explicit"-worthy gore

I am not looking for porn here.  I don't mind sex scenes if I see them coming and think they fit, but if I don't they can (and have!) ruin stories for me in a way that's counter-productive to what I'm after here.

Bonus points for stories which take a "mainstream" trope, invert it somehow, and then play the inverted version completely straight.  (Eg, "smol shy nerd/tol jock" is cute and fun if it's gender-flipped and written for tenderness and feel-good fluff [login required][explicit][archive warnings would apply].)

Bonus points if it's queer somehow.  Mentioning this feels like it might be redundant, but it is worth saying. Bonus points if it’s leftish.  No, further left than that.  Look, unless Star Trek is way off to the right, there’s still a lot of room to go further left.

Bonus points if fics you rec are available as podfic!

Fandoms I know I'm down for reading:

Bionicle

Worm

Miraculous Ladybug

Pacific Rim

The Host (Stephanie Myers, book)

RWBY

The Murderbot Diaries

Good Omens

Where The Stars Fell

Anything by Cliffc999 if it has a complete arc and I feel it meets the key vibes goals, regardless of if it meets other criteria or if I've ever heard of the fandom before.

Marvel superheroes (various -- broad-strokes comicsverse, MCU (movies up to approximately Civil War/Black Panther), and Into The Spider-Verse movie are all welcome, as are original spins on any of those.  Eg, the Spider-Liv series on SV is great, but too recent for a re-read.)

Teen Titans (similar in spirit, but I'm only really familiar with the core 5 and the early 1980s "introduction of Raven and Starfire" era comics)

I fully expect to love Sense8 and Babylon 5 if I ever get around to watching them.  As such, entry-friendly fics that don't spoil the main experience too much are welcome in those fandoms.

Comfort movies:

Apollo 13

The Princess Bride.

Anticipated (but unconfirmed) additions to that list:

Pacific Rim

Buckaroo Banzai: Across the Eighth Dimension

Mad Max: Fury Road

Grease Monkey fills a similar niche in comic books.  Also if you're reccing from RR, you should know that I'm loving Sovereign of Wrath.

[lluvia-otsana]

2,13,20 (book ask)

I got an ask, time to overshare -w-

If you make it to the end, you get a cookie (or you can cheat and scroll to the end!)

2. Top 5 books of all time:

Harrow is def no.1 by far for me, as much as I loved and devoured GtN in one sitting. Both of those books I've reread a million times and hold such a grip on me I can recite so many lines word for word, I can repeatedly open the books just to revisit scenes, I'm so invested in what will happen next in the series, and somehow they're even better on reread. There is always a portion of my mind now possessed by this series lol.

Ugh I'm bad at top 5 tho. I love the Murderbot series too but there's so many novellas in that series that if I include them TLT and Murderbot could take all the top 5 slots. It's sci fi action packed but also the narration is just such fun snark a bit like GtN.

In the same vein of the above books with their dark humor and banter I really enjoyed Nevernight. Probably also cuz the sidekick was a magical sarcastic cat made of shadows. And horny bi girl rep.

Also love When Women Were Warriors - it's my cheesy wholesome romance go to series. It's enemies to friends to lovers ish but soft.. except the swords.

Since the question says of all time, I will include that when I was a little weird kid I was obsessed with the Silverwing series and reread those a million times. Including and *especially* the very strange Firewing book that took place in bat hell lol. One of the main characters gets burned to death in the beginning! Great books for kids.

13. Do you have a goodreads?

Yeah, I've mostly been using that one lately. Trying to combine books/manga/webcomics in one site even tho goodreads isn't always great for shelving manga/webcomics.

If you wanna snoop and spend a second harshly scrutinizing me I think the link is:

goodreads.com/lluvia_otsana

Haven't been using it to keep track of books read per year as much until recently cuz I usually read physical books* and wasn't updating times before.

(*I live close to a gigantic indie bookstore I love to support. A dangerous place to live.)

20. What are things you look for in a book?

I like authors with a crazy imaginative mind. I wanna be thrown into a really different universe and experience the passion they put into the details of their beloved story. Bonus points for funny world building footnotes and appendices - I don't care that it detracts from the plot. I don't care if I don't know wtf is going on and I need to think and squint for foreshadowing and to understand the truth of what the characters are feeling - I like biting thru the layers of thick plot and characterization tbh. I love humor interwoven into the series and want to care about a diverse cast of characters. Not cuz it's forced in there but especially if it's SFF if you're gonna write an entirely different world why not put that care into writing different perspectives rather than the default usually cishet and male ones. I care more about the characters' motives and feelings and actions feeling real than them being morally correct. I don't need romance in it I can read diverse relationships, platonic or hateful or whatever (more fun if it's still intense in some way) But truthfully I am a sucker for deep monog romance if it fits somewhere in there.

Here 🍪 („• ᴗ •„)

(And thx for the excuse to ramble at myself @ghostlament)

[c4tto626]

thank you for the great answer! :) fav scene for me is probably ART watching shows through muderbots eyes, bc I am a sap, but agree they are all so good its impossible to pick a best bit. have you seen this animatic of going down into the pit? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHXpEEsarDk

oh yeahh!! the whole, art can't make sense of the media on its own but it can through murderbot's experiences is so dear to me! and then art getting so upset when characters die in the shows... 🥹

also (link) that's so cool i love it! hilarious music choice but it somehow fits with the vibe of the books lmao

[the-perihelion]

The ideal reading order is NE -> FT.

With the prevalence of missing scene fics in fandom, and Martha Wells’ own history as a fan writer, it should come as no surprise to the astute reader that the latest book in the Murderbot Diaries series, Fugitive Telemetry, actually goes back to fill in the gap of time after the novella quartet’s close instead of following the first full-length novel installation to the series, expanding on the professional respect that developed between Murderbot and Indah in the NE flashback. As a novella, it was written with the context of NE in mind, and for the optimal intended reading experience, it’s best to read Fugitive Telemetry after Network Effect.

But doesn’t it make more sense to read in chronological order? I hear you ask. I got soooo confused when ART didn’t show up after Network Effect.

Let me help you with the details. In a flashback in Network Effect, Murderbot is seen talking to Indah, who clearly knows, respects, and is familiar with Murderbot. Murderbot talks about its expectations for how StationSec should act, implying that it helped to shape up their security, and possibly taught them better protocol or security principles while it was at it. They’ve clearly been working together for a while, prior to the beginning of NE.

Meanwhile, in Fugitive Telemetry, the very first scene with Indah and Murderbot shows that they have just met and absolutely don’t get along yet. Within the very first chapter, Murderbot details the official first meeting between it and Indah, with Mensah and Pin-Lee there as advocates, while they talk about its complicated citizenship and rights on Preservation.

It’s fascinating and intricate political stuff. And it should also clearly show, within the first chapter, that a) Fugitive Telemetry takes place right after Exit Strategy, before ART shows up in Network Effect, and b) it makes more sense to read FT after NE.

But I don’t get it, professor, I hear you whine. How’s that?

The reason that the ES -> NE -> FT reading order flows better is that it works with the themes of Murderbot’s self-actualization better. The first four novellas, from All Systems Red to Exit Strategy, are about Murderbot’s journey of self-discovery:

All Systems Red (ASR) introduces its identity as a SecUnit who has hacked its governor module and establishes what it means to be rogue. It ends with MB making the self-revolutionary decision to walk away from all the humans that might control it, well-meaning PresAux included.

In Artificial Condition (AC), Murderbot explores a departure from its identity as a rogue construct, passing as an augmented human security consultant. This exploration ends with its reconciliation with its genesis as a rogue and with learning to respect ComfortUnits as fellow constructs, all while developing a relationship with a new machine intelligence, ART. It ultimately leaves behind the human persona and moves on.

Rogue Protocol (RP) is the reprisal of its rogue identity: Murderbot re-explores the role of a SecUnit and the rogue lifestyle, pretending to be governed while faking the existence of a human supervisor- meanwhile, it meets Miki, who makes it question the impossibility of humans and machine intelligences caring about each other as equals.

This leads directly to Exit Strategy (ES), where it reunites with PresAux, but this time fully as itself, unsupervised rogue secunit asshole, carving out space for no role but its own.

So Murderbot’s journey of self-determination begins with its self-exploration of identity. These roles are a matter of identity, but they are also a matter of sociality: as Murderbot’s story progresses, the scope of it increases as well. Exit Strategy poses the question of how Murderbot relates to and fits in the circle of its human friends. Network Effect continues that theme: from the title itself to the fine-grain of the character interactions, this book is about connections- Murderbot’s connections to Mensah’s family, to ART’s crew and their peril through its friendship with ART, to SecUnit Three through MB 2.0. Network Effect is about being a person among people and how our protagonist’s choices impact the people around it; it’s the satisfactory next step to self-actualization as an individual person.

Fugitive Telemetry, on the other hand, is about being a person in society. Society is not just the people who are connected to the people you know, it’s the entirety of the eight degrees of connection, and the way individual choices carry responsibilities because they impact others living in that web of connection. FT is about Murderbot’s place in Preservation society, both bot and human sides of it, how it should conduct itself among other citizens and other professionals, how it does and doesn’t relate to the community of other machine intelligences on Preservation, and how it defines for itself what it means to be a SecUnit and provide security.

Fugitive Telemetry is in many ways a relaxing, low-key detective story in which most of the conflicts are non-life-threatening, petty office dramas; it is also a deeply challenging story about what it means to be part of a community. Its themes are heavy. When considering the narrative arc of the series as a whole, it makes more sense to enjoy the novella after Network Effect, the book in which Murderbot is still at the stage of exploring its relationships to other people as itself. Moreover, with two novellas and a novel confirmed for the Murderbot Diaries, Fugitive Telemetry’s “holiday special” approach to less action makes for a better palate cleanser after a full-length action-packed novel.

Ultimately, of course, how a reader chooses to engage with the series is up to personal preference. But in terms of theme, character growth, and narrative impact, a reader can’t go wrong with NE -> FT.

[sparring-spirals]

Noticed tonight how hesitant FCG was about healing or even just stabilizing the the verdict. Like, iirc they were totally, 100% fine with leaving the rival team to die. Gonna have to go back and rewatch later to see if I actually got a good read on it but. God FCG creeps me out in a way no other CR pc has and I’m so glad everyone seems to be noticing it now

I meaaaaan.... they might not have DIED died... just like. Died a little. ....

I like F.C.G, although I get what you mean. Its fair if this particular facet of F.C.G sets you on edge a bit, because... I THINK that's the point. Honestly, I've grown increasingly fond of F.C.G the more we learn about them, and the clearer the divide between the cheerful demeanor and the underlying morals of their actions become. Previously I was a little hesitant about it, but now that I know the vibes are intentional, things open up a lot more. The vibes being: Absolutely terrifying and slightly terrible in a well intentioned, uninformed way. Which is both wonderful to dig into, and extremely true to life.

(this got a little lengthy, throwing it under a read-more. Rampant speculations and assumptions abound below)

I talked about it a little here, and the more I've contemplated it, the more I really like my comparison of an AI attempting to apply an overly specific model to increasingly nuanced situations. F.C.G means well. I absolutely believe that. The casual cruelties, and moral gaps we're seeing more and more come down to things like:

inflexible definitions- of humanity, of empathy, of people who deserve better and people who aren't worth it. "Well, I'm not soul touched, but you all are-" The whole situation with the drunkard early on. Horses having less of a soul than people. The definitions set the rules, and everything outside of that doesn't matter.

very specific rules or solutions applied to situations that they don't fit on- attempting to give couples therapy to two random strangers, asking ritual questions and providing canned lines as comfort to people who aren't asking for it. Even the mind delve from this last episode- is almost like some kind of fucked up diagnostic, I guess.

And then, as a result, some of the more jarring behavior just feels like prioritization, with very specific models and rules in mind. The Verdict are less important than the Bells, so its not really as much of a concern if they die (even if it, clinically, would be a shame). If F.C.G's priority is to keep the Bells as a whole safe, tricking Imogen to dive into her mind is a fine concession. Imogen’s wellbeing, even, probably takes a higher priority over their relationship, or even Imogen’s desire to... not have her mind invaded.

And, I've been making a ton of comparisons to AI's, but honestly, its a very real-to-life comparison too. It's every inexperienced person who learned something new and then attempted to overapply the concept to everything in their life. It's why the comparisons to "college freshman who took 1 semester of psych and is way too confident with it" make sense. It's the way someone with a very specific life experience will explore something new and run into problems when their experiences and judgements no longer translate correctly. It is why someone with a great deal of confidence in something they only have a surface understanding of can stir up problems even with pure intentions.

It is not often malicious, but it can be extremely harmful.

But back to F.C.G specifically: I think F.C.G is supposed to make you feel a little uneasy, for what its worth, at least in this context.

And it IS possible Sam is planning to go a "silently evil and plotting murderbot" route, but I'm hoping for something closer to *points above*, if only because. I dunno. I find that more compelling. Plus he's a cute lil robit who loves his friends awww lookit :'D